#but i dont think these commenters actually understand how much of a nothing sentiment it is | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dojae-huh · 4 months

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as we all know, doyoung get chosen as prosperity burger brand ambassador next year (afaik, the burger only available until 24th jan) and the twitter reaction is so.. harsh. i get the sentiment bc mcdonalds has been listed to the boycott list but ppl has been calling him 'names' and purposely using this as the gotcha moment to hate him instead of spreading more awareness abt the boycott. i feel disappointed with him too but knowing he loves the burger so much and the deal has been made since months ago.. idk how to feel. i still want to support him but it will seen like i'm defending him (while in fact, i dont). what do u think about this? i need to talk with someone with rational thinking process so i can sort things out ;-; tysm

Urgh, I wanted to avoid this topic, but you asked so nicely...

Brace yourself to wait out the unleash of anti-comments Doyoung is getting. Antis are using the opportunity, and many fans are confused, shaken by emotions. It will be OK, it will pass soon enough.

McDac's promotion is aimed at SK and it is a charity. Doyoung donated 50mln won for children around Christmas. He participated in the ad for charity as well. Doubting him or blaming him speaks more about a fan's weak sense of morale and integrity than his. These advertisement companies are planned beforehand, moreover, they are created by absolutely different people in different parts of the world. US branch of MD and Korean branch of MD are not the same. Local businessmen buy the right to use the brand name, it's a franchise.

Korea is Korea, it's a country half-globe away from the conflict in question. K-pop has nothing to do with it. There are multiple conflicts and disasters all over the world that happen at the same time. However, people pay attention mostly only to those that are covered by the media. I haven't seen any k-pop fan talking about Armenia-Azerbaijan (and Armenian people experienced a genocide in the past), zero talks about what happens in Haiti, and it's been ages since I saw mention of Ukraine. And Russia-Ukraine war continues with thousands of people being killed on both sides. And it won't stop as long as Putin is in power. Noone is cancelling him in the fandom, for some reason. US is abuzz about the migrant crisis, but the rest of the world is blissfully unaware. How many people die in those jungles?

I can give you an example of fans only following the guidance of a laser pointer. You should be aware of regular "controversies" over t-shirts, headwear, hair styles, stage design. Doyoung was given a shirt with themes of Moscow (the cathedral) and Orthodoxy (Mary with Jesus, they way it is portrayed on Russian icons). Has anyone sounded concerns that Russia is on the black list, that Doyoung is a non-Orthodox Christian, that using religious imagery for fashion on a "see-thorough" shirt can be offensive for believers/cultural appropriation? (Russia has laws nowadays, plays like "Jesus Christ Superstar" can't be played). Or that such tattoos are actually prison culture, like with yakuza? Noone batted an eye. And rightfully so, because it's just a silly shirt from a fashion collection.

4. I understand fans want to do good, but what they are doing is mostly virtue-signalling. Their online actions don't help.

When Russia attacked Ukraine many companies left Russia. Either on their own or being pressured to do so. The results:

Common people lost their secure jobs with good salaries. Companies like IKEA brought with them their corporate culture of taking care of their employees, what can't be said about Russian workplaces. Russia is a very hard market to enter due to local corruption and no real protection by law. I know IKEA spent like 10 years to do so. The fruits of labour of those middle level executives were just scratched off like that.

The foreign companies were either seized or sold cheaply to Putin's cronies. As a result, he gained more of their support, because he gave them "feudal lands", conpensated for their losses due to the war and sanctions.

The state started propaganda "domestic replacement" campaign (to calm down the people, "we don't need the West or anybody!"). Money were given to any shady bussenesmen who promised to invent "Russian alternative". In reality, those money were taken and no product developed. Or a label with a Russian company name plastered on a Chinese product like a tractor. Again, another scheme for people in power, from "the elite", to fill their pockets with money and to not mind the war started by Putin.

Apple, Coca-Cola and other products are still present in the shops. They are just imported/smuggled via neighbouring countries and sold for higher price. Commoners suffer because of the prices, businessmen and the brands stay OK. And taxes still go to the state.

Many freelancers and artists either lost completely the opportunity to earn money with their craft or needed a long time to readjust and are earning less. There is little demand for art on the domestic market, so the artists need other countries. PayPal left the country, so no Etsy for them. No direct payments thorough Visa/Mastercard as they don't work with Russians banks anymore either. My own shop were I was selling my watercolours was closed by Etsy. I have to ask foreign friends to get money for me or buy me bus tickets as I can't use Wise or Paypal or WesterUnion. Politicians and businessmen? They are doing just fine. They simply opened accounts for a high price (like two montly salary of a commoner) in neighouring countries and use those credit cards. I can't shift to working for foreign publishing companies and not paying taxes to my government because I don't have a credit card to receive payment. I earn twice as less due to currency exchange as well.

In the end. Yes, Russian commoners suffer. The regime doesn't. We are talking oil, gas and natural resourses like minerals. Russia is still paid loads of money for them. Those companies leaving Russia did nothing to help to stop the war. The majority of people haven't even used those companies living far away from the capital in poverty to begin with. McDac is for spoiled brats in Moscow, not for workers on factories.

People feel a negative emotion and want a quick and easy solution to it. If I donate following this demanding action ad, I will help. If I re-twit this black list, I will do something for the good.

It doesn't work like that. There is no easy A to B. It's a giant multilayered problem, and more often than not you are being used in an informational war by one side or the other. Hamas terrorists steal the trucks with foreign aid for themselves. And who knows how many fake donation schemes there are. Israel won't listen to the opinion of college students because it's a question of survival as a country for them. The wars in the Middle East won't end as long as their is oil and gas. McDac will lose some money now in one country and earn them back in another by lowering the quality of its products or the conditions for cows raised for burgers or the salaries of its workers in developing countries.

If you really want to do good. Do it in your neighbourhood. And do it smartly, after a thorough reserch. And in the area you want, and not what others pressure you to do. This way you can both control how your contribution is used and see the positive results with your own eyes.

And the cheapest way to do some good? Is to stop being the source of negativity and to stop judging and cancelling other people.

#ask me away #food all around chips all around

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violencebian · 3 years

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I think "bakugou stans" (characters who don't hate him, apparently) just wanna know what Bakugou Could do for the "anti-bakugou" crowd to not think he's irredeemable? I dont think many ppl are actually pressed when someone doesn't like bakugou, it's pretty understandable, but the whole "anti" thing is just so much for a teenage character who's done a few things wrong and is now trying to make up for it lmao

ok im not rlly in the mood to fight but i literally think this is the funniest shit ever. MF HE BULLIED IZUKU FOR OVER 10 YEARS !!!!!!!!! wdym "done a few things wrong" HE BULLY IZUKU AND TOLD HIM TO KHS !!!!!!!! and sure maybe the "swan dive off the roof" comment was in one chapter BUT HE REPEATEDLY TELLS CHARACTERS TO DIE AFTER WARDS !!!!!! like idk im sorry that we dont think over a decade of bullying can go away in a shitty apology thats essentially "i was supposed to be better than you!!!! i AM better than you!!! im sorry for not realizing lol" like breastie he literally just said "sorry for everything" its not a good apology. HE DIDNT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HOW IZUKU FELT !!!!! and a good chunk of us dont like him bc he reminds us of our bullies or abusers. we also want consistent character development, for him to be able to be nice without immediately turning around and being a dick again for a while until he does something nice again. thats not really character development? you saved someones life? GOOD!! UR A FUCKING HERO STUDENT HEROES ARE *SUPPOSED* TO SAVE PPL !!!! U DID THE BARE MINIMUM !!!!! and about the "being irredeemable" thing he's already irredeemable. nothing he can say or do can erase the trauma that comes with bullying someone for 10+ years.

plus, us bakugou antis want to be left alone. we feel like bakugou stans are forcing his apology down our throat and trying to force us to accept it. they're making it seem like we're being unreasonable and we should stop hating bakugou just because he apologized.

this is the only time ill fight over this shit. so do not continue to flood my inbox with pro-bakugou/anti bakugou antis sentiment.

#anti bakugou #anti bakugo #anti bakugou stans #man this should have been sent to my anti acc

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mxvladdy · 3 years

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Good hell, your True Form series is the absolute best! (and totally canon for me tbh). I saw that we can drop you a prompt and I wanted to ask, if you can do one where the obey boys comfort an Mc who lost someone dear to them? It's totally alright if you dont want to! I hope you are having safe and healthy days!

Thankie anon! I hope you are well too! My condolences if you have lost someone ;.; I hope you like this and I’m stoked you like my True Form series!

Diavolo

Loss is not a new concept to him. Like many on the student council, he is well versed in it. The emotional strain can be numbing, and was numbing to him at one point in his life. He can’t really remember it now though. When was the last time he actually felt grief over a fallen companion?

But humans are different. Time is a scant commodity to mortals. Lose could stick to a human for their entire lifetime. When you come to him he is distraught. He hates seeing you in any form of discomfort. The best he can offer you is his undivided attention and shoulder if you need it. He is actually full of comforting and wise words from all the lifetimes he has experienced.

If you need time topside he’ll arrange a portal for you and you just take all the time you need. His program is not more important than family in his eyes. If you would like him to accompany you then he shall gladly. Sends the biggest, yet most tasteful flower arrangement to the funeral home and to the gravestone.

Barbatos

Probably has the hardest time relating to such a concept. The finite idea of time is something he struggles to conceptualize. Unless he physically wipes someone from the planes of existence he can, to a certain extent, simply find them in another stream.

He knows not to offer or bring up that idea to you. You don’t ask him to either. His abilities have ironically a time and a place. This situation is not one of those. It upsets you but there is nothing you can do about it.

He will distract you instead, taking you on errands and shopping trips around the Devildom. He will indulge your human curiosity under his watchful eyes. Then, he will take you to the kitchens and brew you something strong. If you need to vent while he cooks please feel free, he wants to listen. Nothing you say or do will pass through this room.

Solomon

Being human, and yet not, he understands the most out of everyone. He has loved and lost a great deal in his lifetimes. Some of which is still a raw wound on his heart. He is very much someone who will avoid talking about his feelings or things that dredge up his past failings.

If you come to him he will give you coping skills and drag you around the Devildom to take your mind off of your thoughts. He’ll take you for walks or to the woods. Is it dangerous? Yes. But the distraction of self-preservation has always worked for him.

During all of this, he will check in on you. If none of his tactics work he’ll cave, taking you to sit on the nearest comfortable surface. He’ll ask you little things about them or your relationship and reply in kind, albeit stiffly. It’s-nice. Some human bonding he didn’t expect. In a way, you both console each other.

Luke

He’s an angel in training. He can help! Simone has been teaching him! He’s excited but knows he has to tone it down. He’ll recite all the verses and words of wisdom he’s picked up from Simone and Michael.

He’ll sulk a little if it doesn’t help. Well, that’s fine, he will just have to study harder for you! Till then he’ll try other methods. He’s goto is homemade cakes and hugs. He will want you to help baking (he can’t reach the top oven shhhhh).

You naturally take over after a while, and as time in the kitchen progresses you teach him a few recipes that your late loved ones had taught you or were their favorites. It makes you feel better, it’s cathartic. The smell reminds you of home. Luke will memorize each recipe and will make them for you whenever he thinks you're feeling down.

Simone

The first to offer you his condolences and a warm hug. He is very vigilant of you and your mood for weeks after you had confided in him of your loss. His words of wisdom and experience with working with souls were more comforting than with Luke.

He will ask Diavolo to take you outside of the Devildom. Just you, Luke, and himself. You may pick where. Whether it be the mortal realm or the celestial one. If you decide you want to go back home to visit your old stomping grounds then that is where they will go.

You lead him around your familiar territory, pointing out where you and yours would hang out. He’ll buy you things from their favorite stores if you allow it. Humans are sentimental and if a little bobble or trinket will soften the pain in your eyes then it is worth more than gold. Will visit the grave with you to place the things you bought on it. If you allow it will pray from them too.

Lucifer

He lashes out at first when you come to him. It makes him feel vulnerable, his pack mark is infused with your storm of emotions. He brushes off your feelings and bristles at you trying to seek comfort in him. Familiar loss is a very touchy subject to him and bringing those feelings back to the surface for him hurts in ways he does not want to remember. It takes Simone politely (or not) reminding him it’s not about him and perhaps swallowing a bit of his pride would help you both.

He will come to you in the dead of night. He just opens up and talks to you. He’ll sit on the floor of your room with his back resting on your bed and share memories. You both laugh and recount the good, bad, and some ugly memories. You give each other great words of advice and comfort too. You fall asleep holding his hand with a soft smile on your face. Your tears have dried up hours ago. He leaves you to rest feeling lighter and closer to you in the long run.

If you invite him to the wake he will join without hesitation and hold your hand the whole time.

Mammon

He will cry with you. Seeing you like this makes him think back to the fall, it’s a lot for him. He’ll take you out drinking. It’s how he copes aside from gambling and other reckless things. Turns you into the responsible party of the night. It keeps you busy though that's for sure and side-tracked. Though, he will notice when you are uncomfortable and dips from the casinos to lead you somewhere quiet. He’ll pass a bottle between the two of you and talk about anything that comes to mind. He is bad at opening up in public. But alone and drunk, he has a bleeding heart.

He slips into his big brother persona pretty quickly once you two are alone. He may be a goofball around the others but he can be serious when the time calls for it.

He will ask all sorts of questions about them. He wants to know all about them if you are willing. He loves learning about your life and wants to make it better if he can. He will listen with rapt attention and interrupt only to laugh or ask a question. He swears over a greasy plate of food he bought you both at Hell’s kitchen to sober you that if you want him at the wake just ask.

Leviathan

For someone who usually stumbles over his words when you come to him for comfort, he is surprisingly eloquent. He’ll be uncomfortable with physically comforting you until you expressly ask for it.

He’ll try to distract you with video games and asinine conversations while you rest your head on his shoulder and watch. If you’re ok with it he’ll also drape his tail across your lap. The best hug he can give you while his hands are busy with his controller.

He wasn't very close to Lilthe compared to some of the other brothers but he’ll exchange little funny memories he has with you or some cringe-worthy ones to hear you laugh. Between the dim light of his room and the blue glow of his fish tank, you chat until you fall asleep. He doesn’t mind and lets you doze, still filling the dead air with little stories.

Satan

Ah...You have his sincerest condolences. It pains him to admit it but he has never truly felt loss for someone before. Things, yes. A loss of a good book, either stolen by Mammon or destroyed in a fit of rage by himself. He knows that feeling-but those aren’t the same and he knows that it is an ill-suited comparison.

He’ll lend you his ear though. Listen to whatever you have to say, or if you need to cry it out. His arms are always open for you. If you get angry he can help with that. He knows how to channel it all to be productive or temper it so you don’t burn yourself out while you process your emotions.

He-like Levi- will give you sage advice or find just the right words of comfort you need. During the school week if you need a break he will gladly take extra notes or turn in your assignments for you while you take some time off. He will give you some books from his personal library too after an off-handed comment about your late loved ones' favorite genre or author. They are yours if they make you happy.

Asmodeus

Sympathy tears like Mammon. He’ll listen with rapt attention and coo over you. Very touchy when he senses you are troubled. He’ll stroke your hair and let you dumb whatever weighs heavy on your heart. Hugs are the best way he knows how to comfort you.

He doesn’t try to distract you from your grief or your emotions. He knows all too well what happens when one bottles up their emotions for too long. Nasty business that. But, if you want a distraction just ask. He'll give you one. Something nice and (hopefully relaxing) maybe a night out perhaps? Or if you want to stay in he’ll pop in a movie or playlist of your choice and stay quiet. You spend the night in enjoying the physical closeness and no need to express yourself or exert energy trying to vocalize your feelings. He’ll bring out his best snack for the movies too, only the best chocolates and dried fruits for you to munch on.

If you have to plan the funeral or wake he will be there every step of the way if you want him to. He can take the reins if you are just too emotionally drained to do it. If you have ideas or plans for it he will follow them to the letter, no questions asked.

Beelzebub

It’s a lot for him. Even though his sister’s death was a millennia ago it’s still fresh in his mind. But he is strong and will do anything in his power to be there for you. The best way he knows how to cope with such pain is to exercise. If you want to, he will take you to the gym and train with you. Let you tire yourself out on a punching bag or weights.

He doesn’t have many words to say so he will just listen. The best partner for this really, you could go on for hours and he would just sit there and truly listen. He won’t judge how you cope, whether it is wailing or you just trying to act normally around campus. He will be a little bit more clingy after you tell him the news. He knows the tells of a breakdown from his twin so he wants to make sure you are not close to one.

If you invite him to the wake he will stay in the back and offer emotional support. Afterward, he’ll walk you around the local neighborhood and ask questions sporadically about how you're doing. Back at school, he will take notes to you and homework if you don’t feel like going in person.

Belphegor

Stays up with you at night if you can’t sleep due to stress or sadness. You can stay up in his room with him as long as you like and do whatever you need to get through this. Stay up or sleep with him though the day is fine. Though, if you stay up too long he will use the pack mark to make you rest. He keeps a close eye on you like his twin does.

He keeps you up in his attic room with him during the school day. Online classes are a thing and he will keep you content and warm with him till you feel up to snuff. He is smart but just lazy, though if you just can’t get the work done he’ll do it for you to turn in. Whatever, you need a break anyway.

He will fill the dead air while you rest with stories of when he would venture to the human realm with his siblings. He likes to hear stories of your childhood and adventures you had with your loved one too. He won’t offer to go to the human realm with you for the wake. But he will give you an elegant star themed decoration for the gravesite if you allow it.

#obey me fandom #obey me requests #tw: death

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llilychen · 3 years

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thoughts of chain of iron

my favorite scenes in the book were jordelia’s wedding and the townsend’s party (chapter five and six were so fun to read)

i really liked the beginning the book but i found the middle to be boring, the book picks up speed towards the end.

when i finished chog i hadn’t made up my mind about grace yet but now that i am done with coi i have decided that i don’t care too much about her? i’ve seen people say that they adore her and i don’t understand that sentiment. i could see why people would find her an interesting character though

there were too many descriptions in this book, the weather was mentioned almost every single page and it got old pretty quickly

i feel like nothing happened for the majority of the book? i dont like fight scenes that much but throughout the book there weren’t almost any? i was 400 pages into the book and so far there had only been one very boring fight scene against that demon that was in the factory

why was filomena hyped up so much? i swear cc made such a big deal about filomena and she didn’t even want to reveal her name and i thought she was going to be an important character, but she only was there for like 1.5 scenes and it was so disappointing

alastair was my favorite character in this book, i think that he grew a lot and i loved that he was held accountable for everything he did and i think that is what makes him an enjoyable character (when characters do dumb stuff and don’t face the consequences it is boring)

reading cordelia’s pov was so funny (and frustrating) because it was obvious that james was in love with her and she still made the most far fetched unreasonable excuses to convince herself otherwise

i am really sad that there wasn’t more thomastair in this book and i think it was very noble of alastair to not want thomas to have to choose between his friends and him, i am pretty sure that they will probably be together in by the end of cot unless something horrible happens, which i hope is not the case

i was really disappointing with matthew’s character. that scene in which he showed up to cordelia’s house, spied on alastair and cordelia after their dad died, insulted alastair in front of cordelia, and then just started talking about his own problems rubbed on me the wrong way and i hate how his alcoholism is being handled, but im also glad that he called james out on his bullshit? it obviously wasn’t james’ fault but it was nice to see him stand up for cordelia

i hated the love triangle, when i finished chog i didn’t really care who cordelia ended up with, and now that im done with coi i still don’t care too much about who she ends up with but i think that her ending up with james would make more sense and that is probably what will happen which means that the love triangle was a complete waste of time

i really wish that cordelia and matthew’s relationship had remained completely platonic especially because i don’t think cc has ever put focus on a relationship between a man and a woman that isn’t strictly romantic and it would have been nice to show that men and women can be only friends (and by this i mean that there was never any romantic drama between them, so clary and simon don’t count)

anna and ariadne will probably end up together despite the fact that ariadne deserves so much better than anna

anna’s behavior in this book was immature and it got old pretty quickly, the way ariadne was treated throughout the entirety of their relationship was horrible, and i don’t understand if we were meant to root for them? also the way anna treated ariadne reminded me of some of the things anna said in chog and i just want to say that calling the women you have slept with your conquests and writing their names in a list is gross, and disrespectful towards women. coi made me dislike anna unfortunately

matthew insulting alastair every time cordelia was around got old and rubbed one me the wrong way because matthew is supposedly in love with cordelia and he knows that cordelia adores alastair and the least he could is just shut up?? about alastair?? just for cordelia’s sake

i think effie was the best part of the book

i thought that jesse’s resurrection would be take up more page time because i’m pretty sure that cc hinted that jesse would play a larger role in coi than in chog (and in a way she wasn’t lying)

i think that lucie’s marks will probably be stripped or she will become an iron sister (i don’t see why cc would have included that iron sister comment if it won’t be relevant later)

im really disappointed with lucie and cordelia’s friendship, the barely talked, the had like two scenes together in a 650 page book, they just seem like people who sometimes talk to each other, their friendship is so dry

matthew telling alastair that if he didn’t talk to charles it meant that he was a bad person was manipulative and cruel. alastair, unlike matthew, is trying to become a better person and literally everybody saw it except him. i can’t believe cordelia didn’t say anything to him

the whole misunderstanding thing between james and cordelia is so dumb and i KNOW that it will take like 400/500 pages of cot for them to get together and it will be so annoying

that scene in which james confronted grace was very satisfying

cc needs to quit it with the incest, it’s disgusting and unnecessary, it looks like it will not actually go to that in cot (thank god) and therefore she just put it there because she’s gross

i KNEW jesse would come back to life by the end of the book and im so glad i was right because i am tired necromancy and we don’t have to spend another book talking about it!!

i dont know if this is an unpopular opinion but i hope lucie’s character takes a dark turn? i think she has so much potential and i think that maybe she was starting to become a darker character in coi but i couldn’t really tell because she didn’t have that much page time

i really want more christopher scenes, i know that he’s not exactly a main character but he was barely in the book and that made me sad :/

matthew saying that he would not drink in paris so that cordelia would come with him rubbed on me the wrong way because that’s not how it works, and i hope that cc doesn’t portray alcoholism as something that goes away because you’re in love with someone

i knew jesse and lucie would run away at some point, i just thought that it would be by the end of cot (pretty sure they will be found and then there will be trouble and maybe they’ll escape again or there will be more trouble)

my favorite scene in the entire book was when effie found james tied to the bed and requested a raise

when cordelia comes back there is going to be so much guilt because of lucie being missing and i am not here for it

3/5 stars

#tsc #tlh #coi spoilers #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #chain of iron #coi

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warmau · 4 years

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ateez x coworker!au | sf9 ver *this post was commissioned (someone asked for some cute ateez) <3

hongjoong

diligent and always on time, he puts way too much effort into any project on his plate

if there’s any word to describe him its workaholic, but hongjoong insists that he’s just being a good employee - nothing more

but it’s like,,,,,,,,,,,you’re doing the regional managers job and you are literally not,,,,,,,the regional manager

he’s some how the assistant to the regional manager and like. no one understands how because like hongjoong most definitely does the brunt of the work

but during annual reviews he’s always downplaying it and that evil good for nothing regional manager takes the credit

wooyoung and san on a regular basis: what if the regional managers tires get slashed accidentally or what if we hide all of those ugly ties he wears or what if we hack into the company's assets and make it look like hes laundering money-

hongjoong: dont do that

wooyoung and san winking: yeah, sure, “don’t do that”

hongjoong: no like seriously dont do that

his little office space is really cutely decorated though and hes the best gift giver at office parties because he always gives something handmade and unique

you have a bracelet that you got last christmas from him when you guys got paired for the exchange, and it’s really so cute and colorful you always wear it

and the office guys tease hongjoong about it like, “hey - are you guys a couple? c’mon tell us the truth - you have a matching bracelet for yourself!” (hongjoong feverishly refuses this but the tips of his ears always get red)

one time mingi, with all the good naturedness of his heart commented that you must find the deep, dark exhaustion eyebags under hongjoong eyes cute - you know, like a racoons!

and you were like o-oh well- y-y-es?!?!?! and hongjoong had proceeded to drag the poor intern out of the break room by his ear

it’s like the shy office romance that everyone is cheering for that doesnt really happen

until one evening as hongjoong is getting ready to finally leave for the day he’s astonished to see you

frantically searching on your hands and knees for something in the dim office lights

“did you lose your keys?”

he asks and you’re so startled you hit your head on the desk you’re under as you come up - you put your hands up embarrassingly and mumble that no,,,,,you lost that bracelet he gave you,,,,

he lets out a little “oh!” and waves his hand in the air as if its nothing, he tells you not to worry - it was just a little gift-

“no, it’s important to me,,,,,,,”

your voice is a slight whisper and hongjoong barely catches

“w-why is it so important to you?”

“because you made it.”

you turn back to start looking again, when you hear hongjoong put his things down on the floor and join you

his hand is warm when it brushes over yours a little

he’s never had someone cherish something he’s made like this before and so even if you two have to spend the whole night searching - he’s down for that

and when you do find it,,,,and there’s still time to take you to dinner,,,,he thinks he’s very much down for that too

seonghwa

spends half his day running away from potential suitors who come down from all the different departments just to ask him out for lunch or after work drinks

he’s just a low ranking officer, he doesn’t get what the craze is about?!?!

hongjoong, taking one hard look at seonghwa: i know what its about

seonghwa: plEAse tell me so i can live a peaceful life

hongjoong, sighing: dude. its your face

and even on the days when he comes in with glasses perched on the end of his nose and a slightly crumpled shirt from having to rush to iron in the morning

like it does not matter - he looks like and literally is - an angel

has a weird irritation about little spots on documents, like if dirt gets in the printer and its on the page hes like,,,,,eye twitching,,,,,,,,,no

three bottles, at least, of hand sanitizer on his desk

his headphones match his laptop, which match his wireless keyboard, which match his mouse - the color scheme we are going for is a calming ivory

once got called in for causing a disturbance, but it was literally not his fault, he went to ask the billing department if they had any extra ink and came downstairs with like five people all chattering at max volume about if he had plans next saturday

wooyung: damn man being beautiful must suck

seonghwa: oh thank you for understanding, it really is-

wooyoung: SIKE it rocks how do i know? look at me!

yeosang to seonghwa: just ignore him, he does this at least twice a day

you know seonghwa, how could you not, and you agree with the majority opinion: he is insanely handsome

but you have your own problems to worry about, that being a very nasty manager who seems to have it out for you

so like seonghwa, you spend half your day hiding from someone, which means

solace in the supplies closet

one day, as you’re sitting inside there, trying to work on a memo draft on your phone

the door swings open - and you jump to pretend like you’re looking for staples

but instead, it closes with a harsh noise and the person slides down against the door - heaving and fanning themselves

“a-are you ok?”

you ask, worried that the shortness of breath is from them feeling sick - when in reality its just seonghwa, on the run from lovestruck coworkers

again

he shakes his head and mumbles that he’s sorry for barging in

but you shake your head, tell him its fine

you’re both under this impression that one of you is going to bounce soon - like this is a supply closet, not the break room - but after about five minutes of utter silence

seonghwa goes, “are you also running away from work people who are in love with you?”

you giggle, but shake your head “actually running away from a work person who hates me.”

he gives you an apologetic look, but you just wave it off - not like there’s much either of you can do about it anyway

its silent for a while, and you keep trying to do as much editing as you can on your phone, not really paying attention to the way seonghwa’s eyes flick toward you in the dark

not until he clears his throat and is like, “well i think the coast is clear so ill be going back out there-”

you nod, thinking you should probably return too before your manager goes bonkers and says you’ve abandoned your position or something

as you near the door though - suddenly seonghwa shyly extends his arm

you blink in confusion and he just goes, “maybe if we go out together itll be less scary?”

the sentiment is adorable and you take his palm in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze

though the moment you two step out - there are at least ten pairs of eyes on you and suddenly seonghwa makes sure to swing your hands behind your backs

he leans down, “dont want anyone to get the wrong idea and then you end up getting hurt too.”

but you think about it for a moment before tugging your hands out into the open - a wave of gasps passes through the people around you like a wave through the sea

you tiptoe up and explain, “maybe if they think you’re taken they’ll back off?”

the sentence shouldnt make seonghwa’s heart jump in his chest like it does - but hey, maybe your plan will work

(or maybe your manager will hate you even more because what - you bagged SEONGHWA? OF ALL PEOPLE?)

yeosang

really really REALLY good at bullshitting stellar work

and not in a last minute oh shit kind of wooyoung way, but in a i dont actually know anything about the material but damn am i going to make it sound like i do kind of way

and to be fair, if yeosang stared you down in a board room meeting for fifteen to twenty minutes selling you a pitch and blinking like a cat on the hunt then like

im pretty sure you’re just going to buy into the pitch

interns are scared of him because they think hes like the no nonsense, dont bother me type

which he plays into sometimes because its fun and the interns will do what he says without bothering him about it

but the reality is he can be quite silly,,,,,,,,,jongho has on occasion caught yeosang getting giddy over like kitten youtube videos on break and everytime yeosang is like you didnt see anything

and jongho is like sure, not until it becomes beneficial to me and i use it against you

yeosang: wh

jongho: so the weather, huh?

knows everyone’s business somehow, but only gets invested if its like super super super juicy - i.e. someone in corporate is stealing money or there’s a secret poker game on the weekend for promotions

like no, san, yeosang doesnt care that you lied on your taxes

you are one of the newer hires, not an intern, just new to the job

and although everyones been pretty inviting - you kind of maybe really think that yeosang,,,,,,,,hates you

he has this routine, an hour before everyone leaves on friday he goes around the department to see if anyone wants to go downstairs and across the street to get some coffee with him

you asume its a kind of “yay the weekends here” thing - which you are very down for, but its been like a month since youve been here

and yeosang has never asked you

hell, he even asks intern mingi - who half the time is doing these starbucks runs so he doesnt have the pleasure of ever really saying no

you had chalked it up to - oh im new, and hes maybe shy? but that makes no sense because this is kang yeosang

shyness isnt an adjective you’d use for him - so the only other logical explanation is,,,,,,,you must have had a really horrible first impression

you decide to ask san about it - he seems pretty close to yeosang and hes also been super open with you - but when you go, “did i do something to make yeosang angry?”

san nearly spits out the rice he’s chewing on - he gets fidgety in his seat, something you arent used to seeing, and says he has to go

curious, you decide to ask wooyoung the same question - but get the same panicked response

so you as yunho, who gives you a sad puppy kind of look and then jongho, who just???????? chuckles

it makes no sense and you’re even more confused than before - when suddenly its friday and yeosang - yesong is approchaing your desk

“do you want to go to starbucks with me?”

the way you jump up and beam must seem like a schoolkid getting their first a+ on a project, but you don’t care - and as you follow yeosang out the whole office gives a big sigh of relief

in the elevator down, yeosang keeps himself tucked in the corner and the bliss you had felt starts to wear down

wait,,,,maybe he invited me because hes sick of me asking other people if he hates me? is he about to tell me he hates me over some iced coffee?!?!

but as you step out and make your way toward the cafe, yeosang stops - putting a light hand on your elbow

immediately you start apologizing, you dont know where it comes from - but like an open faucet you just start saying sorry for the most random things and yeosang just gives you a confused look that shuts you up

“wait - why are you apologizing to me?”

he inquires and your shoulders shake a little, “well,,,,,i mean - didnt i piss you off?”

he looks to the side and sighs, “far from it - actually i pissed myself off more than anything else.”

“huh?”

he crosses his hands before returning his gaze to yours, a fine pink dust settles over his skin

“its just, i was avoiding you because im not, im not like - you know im not like good at like asking - asking peopl- people i like -”

he starts to stutter, or better yet almost malfunction, as he tries to explain

you almost feel like apologizing again for making this so hard on him, when he just throws his hands up

“i like you - and not in the we’re just co-workers kind of way - and yes, i find it hard to approach people i find cute. there. im not mad at you and yes im aware i look like a fool, so lets just go get our coffee-”

your smile almost stretches off your face as you hear his words, instead of knowing what else to say you step forward and takes his hands into yours

“you dont look like a fool, and yes we should get coffee but only if you admit that this is kind of our first date-”

he holds back the urge to laugh but stares down into the sparkles of your eyes

“are you sure? starbucks on a first date is kind of,,,,,,,”

“im sure, ive been waiting for you to ask me to come to starbucks with you for a whole month so its very fitting”

you and yeosang have a good giggle about that - when you come back to the office, san asks where his hot chocolate is but you and yeosang are so busy rubbing shoulders and being even cuter together that you just walk past him

san: im so deeply hurt, but also so deeply moved by how sweet they look with one and other

wooyoung

the office has wildly differing opinions on him, but one things for sure: hes brilliant in the weirdest of ways

on a 9-5 basis he gets like one hour of work done on a good day but lets say like the company is going through a major crisis

the person with the lifesaving idea SOMEHOW will be wooyoung (aided by hongjoong who probably just needs to curb some of wooyoungs enthusiasm)

but yes, like people will write him off as giddy and loud - but hes not dumb

wooyoung: “you can have a bachelors degree and do dumb stuff, like thats not illegal.”

jongho: “vandalizing the ceos car when you were an intern here is illegal though.”

wooyoung, eyes wide: “how do you know about- i never did that,,,,,,,,”

makes memes and shares them in the work gc and the only people who get them are san and jongho, san because he shares a brain with wooyoung and jongho because hes literally young

hongjoong and mingi everytime: i dont get it....

you are a transfer from the companys overseas office and wooyoung takes to you right away

mostly because you’re different and know all this cool stuff that he doesnt

and you really like his fun energy, even though yeosang will be like “dont get tricked by it”

so when you and wooyoung get paired for a marketing project - you are both over the moon

until

its the night before its due and you and wooyoung have. nothing

you’re both spread out in the empty confrence room, wooyoung chugging a monster energy - while you nearly fall asleep and drop the tablet you’re working on straight on your face

wooyoung is like “lets just ask for an extension” but you insist you cant, this is your first big project here and you want to make an impression

but the slump you’re both in is BAD

suddenly wooyoung takes the tablet off your hands and you sit up, hoping he’s thought of something, but instead he blasts some pop song and you cringe as you fall back in your chair

“turn it off, i cant think with that noise.”

“c’mon, dancing will help us think of ideas.”

“wooyoung - seriously, we need to do some work or -”

he doesnt listen to you, he just pulls you up from your seat and twirls you around

you groan and try to tell him that its not going to work - but wooyoung just says it doesnt need to, you guys just need to have some fun before you die over this stupid project

you dont want to admit that hes right - that your body feels like its been reduced to a bag of sludge - so you let him twirl you again until you’re dancing too

the anxiety from the project loosens a little as you watch wooyoung dance unabashedly, tie swinging over his shoulder and dress shirt a mess

you join him, kicking off your shoes and just letting go for these ten blissful minutes

you don’t notice and as you turn toward wooyoung, your ankle catches on one of the chairs and you go tumbling toward him as he catches you and cushions your fall

you both laugh and wooyoung looks up into your smiling face - happy to see it bright after you’d looked so miserable the whole day

actually, he doesnt say it outloud, but this happiness on you is probably the most beautiful happiness hes seen on someone

it glitters and for a moment he doesnt want to let your inviting warm weight off of him

and then - just as his eyes wavier down a little from your eyes to your lips he goes

“AHAH! IVE GOT IT!”

you sit up and he follows suit, grasping your shoulders

“IVE GOT AN IDEA!”

you want to ask him how he got it, what prompted it, but hes already talking a mile a minute

and to be honest, hes pretty happy you didnt get to ask - the answers totally embarrassing - like whats he gonna say

your natural beauty inspired me? how,,,,,,,,how sweet - corny, he means corny!

san

he can most definitely turn on the charm when he needs to, making himself out to be put together and organized

but troublemaking is just too good to pass up, no wonder he and wooyoung are often referred to as partners-in-crime

100% the host for the monthly office karaoke contest

somehow the bartender always gets a little pale when san comes tumbling in because,,,,,,,he is clumsy and quite good at breaking things,,,,,,

he outwits seonghwa into helping him clean up his desk when it gets too crazy

and frequently gets bonked on the head by hongjoong who catches him falling asleep over the keyboard

or trying to play on the switch - but then getting his headphones disconnected and now everyone can hear tom nook’s voice

he adheres to the dress code, but likes to have sparkly pins in his hair or a colorful belt from time to time

just because the bleakness of corporate life SUCKS and is not san’s vibe at ALL

but hey, money.

you like san’s karaoke contests and really enjoy just how much he puts into the performances

even if everyone else is giving their half-baked effort on songs from the early 2000s

you yourself dont ever get up to sing, just because of a shyness thing and also you much rather just watch san cause havoc

until one day you show up and you and san are the only ones,,,,,,,,there

somehow - everyone else has things to do this evening - so you tell him you can just comeback next month

when he insists that no, you two can have fun together!

you end up on what someone might call an impromptu date with san,,,,,

where he does his favorite songs and you cheer while the bartender sends over two drinks “on the house” and whispers to you when you collect them that he hopes you can “be the person who will calm san down”

its awfully embarrassing,,,,,but at the same time kind of fun,,,,,,until san invites you up for a duet

you are saying no, but san is waving you over, and someone wolf whistles from somewhere

and before you know it you are up there - and san puts a hand on yours as he passes you the mic

you kind of mumble into the mic, and believe me its nothing like what san belts out when hes up there

and still - san is jumping up and down and looks like he’s legitimately having the time of his life

his energy kind of boosts your confidence and one might say you even sing a bit of the song

when the night is over, san offers to take the train with you to your stop and if you want - he’ll even take the time to walk you home

just as you two are about to emerge from the station, just sort of basking in each others presence you both get your email notifications from work

taking your phones out you read the message

subject: finally hooking those two up body: ‘so, bets on a kiss - do you think they kissed? i think they did, or at least got close to it - you know how san is during karaoke’

the next email appears, this one is from jongho

subject: re: finally hooking those two up body: ‘which idiot cc’d san and them on the email,,,,,,,,,,,,’

you and san sort of stare down at your screens and then back up at each other

the realization dawns on you: nobody was actually too busy for karaoke,,,,,,,the whole office just wanted to set you up on a date,,,,,,

you are truly at a lose for words when suddenly san is typing back and before you can question it you get a ping!

subject: re:re: finally hook those two up body: ‘haven’t kissed yet, but the nights still young.

yunho

everyone's handyman - and by everyone, i mean everyone. the janitor has asked him to screw in lightbulbs before.

fairly good worker all around, he can come in late on certain days because hes helping grandmas cross streets or saving kittens from trees

and there have been instances of tiny mistakes, mostly because his attention was on giving feedback to the interns

but yeah no complaints, hes never even been given like a warning

very tidy work appropriate outfits - like tie tucked into sweater vest baby

feels guilty when he does have enough lunch to share with every single person, you know hes bringing his jumbo salad bowl to work

the worst lie hes ever told on the job is pointing to his cup and being like, yep thats my morning coffee!!!

when in fact it was soothing decaffeinated earl gray tea because coffee makes him jittery

your assigned to yunho for basic intern training and youre so lucky and thankful because like

youve heard the horror stories, but he is seriously just an angel

and doesnt get annoyed at your questions and even helps out when you get confused

the only thing is that sometimes he gets so engrossed in showing you how to format this document

or where to get the copy paper

that personal space sorta siezes to exist and now hes hovering over you with his big hands over your keyboard

or his chest pressed to your back as he helps get the supplies from the top shelf

and you are not complaining its just,,,,,,,,,,,you know,,,,,,,,embarrassing

and sometimes you have to excuse yourself

or just wiggle away and you dont want to hurt his feelings or anything

its just you hate that with each day you see yunho’s smile in the morning and something in your chest gets a little tighter

and you are not about to date a co-woker, no way no how

even though yunho meets every checklist for the perfect boyfriend

because 1) its probably against the rules and 2) you dont want to just get your heartbroken by the man who is just that kind to everyone

until one day hongjoong makes an offhanded comment about how yunho has never taken this much of a liking to an intern like you

and you think about it all day, up until its the only thing on your mind and it takes yunho five tries of calling your name until you snap out of it and go

“huh?”

“hongjoong suggested this good place to eat, do you want to come have lunch with me since i didnt bring anything in today?”

your mouth works faster than your mind and you go,

“like a date?”

before immediately clamping your palm over and muttering an apology

but yunho’s ears go bright and he sort of loses his composure for a moment till a small, squeaky answer comes out

“yeah,,,,like a date?”

mingi

eager to please intern,,,,,,,but add in a dash of absolute obliviousness

like he wants to help everyone but sometimes the instructions from like five different people just turn to mush in his brain

and hes like delivering coffee to the wrong person or printing out three hundred copies of that poorly photoshopped meme wooyoung made instead of the needed documents

but no one can get mad at him because have you seen him? like it would be straight up illegal to even raise your voice at him

hes so sweet that numerous people offer their homemade lunches to him and hes always like eating a sandwich from hongjoong or freshly baked cookies from yunho

the older ladies of the office just a d o r e him (a little too much, but like hes so sweet natured he doesnt even read into it)

his pants are always short and someone is always like poor mingi’s ankles are so cold

but at the same time he can lift like ,,,,, one hundred pounds of printer cartridge's so its like,,,,,,,,, ok so maybe those skinny ankles actually put in a lot of work,,,,,,,,

you’re the ceos only child and when they’re off on business, you’re in charge of the department where mingi interns

and like anyone else you have a huge soft spot for him, even though you dont try to show it because favoritism is a no-no

actually in general you try to be as fair and as understanding as possible, because your parent isnt really the type

a lot of the office really likes you, but now and then someone will say something snippy or rude about you

simply because they think you got your job through just being the ceo’s kid or that you’re only lenient to try and get in with one of the office heartthrobs

you try not to take it personally and you bite your tongue when it comes to putting those rumors and the people who spread them in place

but one afternoon, you can clearly hear a group of people talking about how you lack the leadership skills to ever take over the company

it hurts, you can feel the pain in your chest, but you try to wrestle through it until you hear mingi’s voice

“i dont think you should say that about them.”

you turn and peek your head passed the cubical - mingi’s tall frame is standing in front of the pack

“what do you know, you’re just a lowly intern.”

“thats true, but ive seen them work and theyre really good at leading. theyre also doing two jobs at once - both theirs and the ceos, i dont think anyone here has to deal with so much work.”

youd think his tone was being mocking, just like theirs, but his voice is clean and clear

like hes just stating a truth he believes in

when one of them starts badmouthing mingi, you step in and tug him away from the conversation as the office workers disperses back to their seats

you tug him toward the stairs and out of earshot and mumble a small thank you

“huh? why are you thanking me?”

“well you stood up for me so-”

he shrugs his shoulders, “i was just saying the truth.”

you nod, embarrassment on your cheeks as you realize that its mingi youre talking to - of course he wouldnt have any other motive but to -

“and theyre wrong you know, one of them was saying youre not pretty and thats a lie too. youre good at your job and -”

“wait, what”

you back up and mingi blinks - “i said youre good at your j-”

“no before that, you think im-”

“pretty?”

you both stare at each other as the realization sinks into mingi’s expression and he sort of opens his mouth like a gaping fish -

“i-i - i just - i -”

you stiffle a giggle and shake your head, “no no, its nice that you think that. it makes me really happy.”

“well, im just a lowly intern so i mean i dont know if its such a great compliment-”

you lean up and peck his cheek, making him freeze midstence

“youre not a lowly intern, i believe youre way more than that and sooner or later youll probably be promoted too!”

“pr-promoted? like to a worker or like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,to,,,,,,,,,,your,,,,,,,,,,,,boyfriend,,,,,,,,,,,”

jongho

kid genius, has a higher position than most people double his age

knows everyone's secrets so no one even tries to start shit with him about it

loves watching the office go into chaos when the printer isnt working and apparently hes the only one who knows how to fix a goddamn paper jam

but hes on a coffee break, let him watch everyone tear each other apart before he actually just presses a button to fix this all

like mingi, he can actually lift way more than him, but why would he - the intern is there for a reason lol

probably has an early college degree from some prestigious school and he doesnt talk about it but he knows people whisper about it

and hes like so what i still work at this dump but like what - is someone gonna rat on him to the ceo? - no, because he’ll just tell the ceo about that one time that person tried to charge the company card for their vacation plane tickets :)

gets work done fast and early, spends the rest of the day just playing minecraft

you used to be jongho’s number one rival for youngest, smartest position

but he sorta beat you out over time and even though you were pissed about it for a long while

youve kinda gotten over the rivalry

instead youre comfortable in your other department and dont really see jongho around anymore

which you think is normal - and actually youre under the impression that jongho is happy to be rid of you

but the reality is he makes up way too many excuses to go up to your floor, i.e. “the bathroom is better there” “their breakroom has this k-cup i like” “the view from the windows are nicer”, etc.

no one notices, or if they do - no one dares to make a peep

but you ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, are starting to think its a little suspicious

so you confront him, as he stands awkwardly by the window at the end of the hall

“are you like spying on me?”

jongho turns around, dark eyes widening just a bit

“what? no. i just like the view.”

“jongho, your office is like three floors above mine - you arguably have the better view.”

he shrugs as if its nothing but you press on

“why are you coming down here - wait, oh my gosh - do you like someone in my department?!??”

you suddenly get bright and clap your hands together, “c’mon you have to tell me!”

he looks you over once and makes a hmph sound, “why would i tell you?”

you pout

“i know we were rivals for a while, but c’mon - i promise ill put in a good word for you so who is it?”

you step closer and jongho feels his tie get a little tighter

“the new intern? they’re cute - or is it someone older like in the-”

“you”

you stop and buffer - looking at him and for the first time jongho drops his eyes to the floor first

“m-me? you’re coming down here for me? is it because of our riv-”

“no.”

he sets the cup he was holding on the windowsill and suddenly you’re the nervous one

“you’re right. i come here because the person i like on this floor is you.”

he reaches out to touch your wrist but you step back, the confession is too shocking to handle and you scurry off before you can say anything in return

you slide down against the stall of the bathroom and let out the breath you’re holding

its not that you dont like jongho back, actually your whole rivalry was sort of just a cover up for your one-sided feelings

you just never thought that they’d be reciprocated,,,,,,,

you try to pull yourself together - marching out to the sink and looking into your reflection

we cant let jongho win again, he might have confessed first, but your still rivals no matter how much you like each other so just go out there and - and -

you cant think of exactly the word, but before you know it your rushing out and to the stairs

jongho doesnt look too surprised to see you bust into his office - but the rest of the office turns to look at you two

“you-”

“yes?”

“yo-you cant say you like me first, why? well - well because ive liked you longer, so im saying it now. i like you. so i win. no arguing. take me to dinner. bye.”

and with that you turn on your heel, jongho nods - secretly smiling to himself as he puts on his headphones

yunho to mingi: isnt it crazy, jongho just got asked out in front of the whole office!

mingi, blinking: wait what? i thought that person was just mad at him

#ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #members: ateez #sfw #office!au

623 notes · View notes

ambitionsource · 4 years

Note

Any Asher Lucas head canons I really love their friendship?

hello anon i am back as promised with the second half of answers to the lucasher asks i got a handful of weeks ago!! seeing as its the tail end of asher’s appreciation day, i am here to deliver on discussing their friendship

so to start, i would say that marking dylan as an outlier and not to be counted (especially on asher’s end), both of them would without a doubt call the other their best friend. asher flexes a bit on this, as jade is also arguably his bestie, but for lucas there’s absolutely no contest. asher is his best friend -- he even said so in 209, which took a lot of emotional vulnerability for him to manage to verbalize -- and that title really means something to him.

to that point, though, i think it took the events of s2 for that to really cement. as we know, lucas has issues with connecting with + trusting others, and so he kind of keeps people at arm’s length. i think asher has always been a bit of an exception to this rule (which i’ll explain in a bit), but lucas was mentally able to still keep him removed emotionally in his mind bc he was like... you know, his inferior in rank / his lieutenant rather than an equal. i don’t mean that he like thought of asher as inferior, because he doesn’t -- lucas hates himself so he thinks everyone is better than him anyway lmao, but he’s also had a lot of respect for asher -- but there was able to be this... mental barrier in his head, if that makes sense. but when asher finally stood up to him, multiple times (in 207 with their argument and then in 208 when he Truly put his foot down and basically walked out of his life), that put them on equal footing on all levels and broke that barrier in his brain. and, thusly, is part of the reason lucas was suddenly able to articulate it in the following ep

but, on that note, one thing that i think makes them such good friends is that they’re both very like... not mushy. at least, not with each other. they both don’t mind side-stepping more complicated emotions and just assuming things are unspoken but understood, but are getting better at knowing the moments where something should be said

but they’re like equally weird about the same stuff, like they both don’t like birthdays + being paid attention to on their bday bc they don’t know how to process it (sans the exception of dylan, who of course asher will allow to be extra on his birthday), so they will straight up just like not tell each other happy birthday on their bdays and people are like doesn’t that upset you?? did he forget?? and they’re like no actually lucas / asher is my favorite person bc he ignores my birthday fDSJLFKGSJKGLJSGL like... they’re so fucking weird

asher is constantly trying to improve lucas’s fashion sense + design sensibility and it does not work. like nothing sticks. asher will spend an hour casually (but actually very intently) telling lucas about the nuances in color between shades and then later when he asks him a question about which shade of red they should use in the set design lucas goes “idk they look the same to me just pick one” and asher is like. bitch ur jokin... it’s lowkey funny that he keeps trying tho like lmao

so in terms of asher being slightly different than others even early on, the way this most manifests is that i think for whatever reason, asher feels safe to lucas. its an inexplicable thing, and something i dont think lucas even really realizes consciously. but he starts their friendship being like oh i’m gonna protect asher the strong must protect the sweet this lame nerd needs me, but then what it actually ends up being is more that lucas needed asher. like yes he gets asher to loosen up and let out more of his authentic self, but asher gave lucas a friendship to anchor to, someone who seemed to genuinely like him not because he was reckless or cool but just because of who he is. and even when he fucked up, asher still seemed to believe he could be better / saw him as more than that, and lucas had never had anyone in his life before like that, let alone someone where it felt that way (i.e. dylan also sees lucas that way especially now, but something about asher just made it so pointedly clear)

and how this ends up changing things is that lucas finds that like... he wants to talk to asher. he wants to be real with him, not put up the defensive, aloof façade. so you have lucas going to convince him to sneak out freshman and sophomore year so they could hang out just the two of them (a thing featured briefly in the “younger” sequence in 208), and those were the moments where he got in those conversations. and asher liked those nights too because they made him feel special, like all the people lucas could choose to hang out with and he chose him to bother and coax out into the night... for a kid like asher, younger than everyone else and an anxious mess and nerdy and he knows it, that’s like. the craziest thing ever. so those one-on-one hangouts meant a lot to both of them, though for different reasons

what’s nice too is that their friendship definitely matured and grew with them the longer it lasted, because there was an element of hero worship on asher’s end and almost belittling underestimation on lucas’s end when their dynamic started, but then it grew organically past that. and when they actually got to know one another, for all their complexities, it made them better friends. and now those misconceptions are long gone, but they still hold a lot of respect for one another.

also to this point, i do not remember if i’ve said this yet on the blog or not but so major point here -- asher was actually lucas’s first (and only, pre-riley) crush. being demisexual, he has to form a deep emotional connection with someone before he really falls for them (riley being semi the exception to this because even though he didn’t really fall for her until they became friends from the get-go he was like okay so she pretty....... whatever tho idc like uh huh sure lucas). and like late in freshman year, maybe even early that summer, lucas and asher had become pretty good friends and were spending a lot of nights hanging out together and talking, and one of those nights they were talking about something semi-serious, and lucas was just looking at him and just realized like wow hm i could kiss asher... and then he was like WAIT HUH?!?!?!?!?!?! cause he’d NEVER had thoughts like that before and suddenly he was having them about his best friend, and that best friend was dating his other good friend and it just FREAKED him out he was like HELLO BAD WEIRD WRONG??? so he stifled that deep down and lowkey ignored asher for like two weeks until it passed -- which of course made asher worried he did something wrong or pissed him off, but thankfully that passed without much commentary or further discussion. lucas has mostly forgotten about it now.

that being said, if you ever told asher he was lucas’s first crush, he would never ever believe you.

they really enjoy discussing / debating each other, especially since lucas is truly equally as clever as asher, but it’s a really careful line because one wrong comment from either of them can send them tipping into actual argument bc they’re also very good at pushing each other’s buttons. this is why dylan’s presence is extremely helpful at keeping them balanced.

and this is kind of a key trait to their best friendship, which is that they make awesome best friends, but my god they would make TERRIBLE romantic partners. they cannot communicate when it really matters (especially about stuff that makes them embarrassed like romance, which they can barely do with their actual partners); they push each other’s buttons; they love each other’s flaws as friends but would drive each other crazy as lovers. like the people they’re with for love are exactly the people they need, understanding, soft, patient, and good at communicating. if lucas and asher dated, they would kill each other within the first week.

one of the first times dylan, asher, and lucas really hung out as a trio involved “wilding” asher, which meant dressing him like lucas and getting him to be more reckless and freewheeling for an afternoon. they didn’t do anything crazy, but lucas let asher borrow one of his t-shirts and snapbacks for the occasion. asher still has both buried in his closet, mainly because he keeps forgetting about it but also because there’s a sentimentality to them. not that he would ever ever wear them again -- yuck. asher would rather vomit

it should not be understated that the first people lucas verbally said i love you to were asher and dylan. it’s important. don’t ever forget it.

-- Maggie

#sorry this is a bit scattered but im so glad you love them!!#they deserve it!! they have one of the best friendships on the show #loving male friendships... its what we deserve #they love each other. they do. even tho they cant speak #lucas x asher #ad: asher garcia #asher garcia #lucas james friar #Anonymous #ask and you shall receive

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

tgcf lb the fourth chapter 23 - 33

“hmmm looks like theres people in the fertilizer. i shan’t say a word” ok king of minding your business i guess

oh looks like it has a long tongue. oh i dont care for that at all

The build of their bodies were similar, and atop their shoulders, all of them carried cudgels that were densely covered in sharp wolf teeth. It created an illusion that a pack of wolves had transformed into people. attack of the furries? okay.

It was easy to comprehend after thinking about it. This person had been buried in the desert sand for fifty to sixty years. The flesh of his body had long been transformed into nutrients for those Kindred Moon Herbs. He had been entirely consumed until the only thing remaining was a mere skeleton. when this book isnt being very funny its being very grim!!! yikes!! also this was an episode of hannibal

Ke Mo definitely had never heard someone ask to go first in this place. His eyes widened and looked like bells as he asked in astonishment, “You want to go first? For what reason??” Xie Lian naturally couldn’t reply and say it was because he wasn’t scared. Thus, he chose an answer that conformed with the norms of society. “General, these are merely innocent merchants just passing through. They even have a child amongst them.” - love watching the immortals trying to act like humans. would have been funny if xie lian had just hit em with “well i cant die so its chill”

That young man had crossed his arms. With an indifferent gaze, he thoughtfully sized up the deep Sinners’ Pit.　　 A bad premonition sprung up unbidden in Xie Lian’s heart. “San Lang?”　　 When he heard Xie Lian call him, San Lang turned his head. He smiled faintly and said, “Everything’s fine.” - edgy bastard lets go

What Ke Mo had been cursing was, “It’s this slut again!” - me when a corpse gets up and knocks all my soldiers into the sinner’s pit what a relatable reaction

oh now im switching translations here we go

does hua cheng just straight up transform in the darkness? edgy bastard. also hualian having their little discussion while ke mo keeps trying to attack im still amused by these kinds of shenanigans

banyue guoshi ma’am your backstory.... rough. im on your side im sure you had your reasons

why do the soldiers keep her up near the top of the pit of death if she keeps getting up and knocking them all in? am i missing something? or are they just that dumb/dead fjdf;adjsf

fu yao: y’all alive? lmk. if not ill guess ill go back to the the merchants who totally promised to stay put in the circle. in case its not clear i do not care what happens to said merchants.

hua xie... of course thats the fucking name he picked. also looks like that wasnt so much a parallel being drawn between xie lian and the general as it was the same exact line

fasdlkfjsldfdsf god xie lian really has a hard time. you help some orphans, you try to keep people from dying, you try to save an orphan and you trip and get trampled but you cant die so you wake up in a river full of corpses and just float away. actually tbh i really appreciate him as an immortal character this is the shit i like to see. love xie lian ready to defend himself from the slander of being completely flattened. he was only mostly flattened

cunty vibes so strong all the wildlife in a 10 foot radius just chuck up the deuces and split

ITS RAINING SCORPION SNAKES. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH A REVEAL. love that the umbrella is just always on hand

okay i guess fucking. everyone is here now why not. we’re all in a hole covered in scorpions and everyone knows each other but not everyone is admitting it but we know. we know. still not 100% sure what is going wrt pei su/pei ming/general pei/pei junior im a bit confused idk

okay i cant explain it but im attached to him now.

i like banyue. i feel like theres going to be a few background female characters i really like but im not so sure theyll get a lot of development. wind master come back you and your lady friend i would like to know more of you. anyway fuck this pei guy(s?). also they just put banyue in a jar? fair enough

is xie lian another mc who cant cook? so much so that everyone who knows him just leaves if he offers? love that for him

okay we’ve got ONE identity admitted. i liked how casual it was. i wonder if hc was waiting for this bc yeah he was not subtle i feel like he definitely wanted xie lian to know. if he didnt then bruh. get lessons in how to act human please

screaming. no words. cant wait to meet him. and hua cheng please keep up the good work. i love that now we’re just. sitting. chatting. chilling. okay.

yeah it makes sense that hes an immortal i think you would have to take this attitude after 800 years

this authors note about not writing ugly characters.... fjkdalfdjfa obviously i dont think holding beauty as such high standard is good it warps our views and values etc etc but also i would expect nothing less from a story like this. yes we know everyone is going to be beautiful theyre immortal and beautiful and young forever

lmao at exile being a temporary banishment for crimes.... yeah that sounds about right tbh. rich elite fuckers

oh good we haven’t forgotten about human face disease boy. im wondering when we’re going to find out how important he will be bc he clearly matters otherwise he’d have been resolved already also yeah how tf does he have that disease that sure sounds like an issue

i dont like him. pei ming i also wish you to die of syphilis. also of fucking COURSE xie lian’s cultivation method doesnt let him read dirty books

im just saving this because its funny

okay lang qianqiu i see you falling asleep at the meeting. i like you already but you are not above suspicion. actually you know what i suspect you already. crown prince of the kingdom that conquered xianle? idk if youre good or bad but you know something i learned this lesson from beloved morally grey huaisang

okay last comment for this post. mxtx’s little authors note about everyone being straight except for hualian but you can make up headcanons as long as you dont split hualian up fjdlfakdj. i just find it silly to write a story thats so clearly for an audience that understands shipping and ships often and say not to split a specific couple up but i mean to be fair i kind of get it that sentiment as an author and not wanting people to do certain things with your work, although again i think its silly

i guess the point of this note is just to be clear that no one else is going to get together so no one argues about it and i dont actually know much about how this was published but it seems like it was serialized so i can see why that would be an issue. personally i dont really care for knowing stuff like that ahead of time but i know a lot of people do and it seems to be thing in other cnovels ive seen to know whos going to get together as far as major characters are concerned i guess thats part of the draw and i guess i kind of get it

not sure how much other romance will be in this but also i think its kind of ridiculous to be like “these are the only two gay characters” in a cast that just keeps growing but whatever shes really leaving that work up to the readers to make it happen which they’ll do anyways so whatever. also there had to be at least one of the 33 officials who fought hua cheng who thought he was hot. theres no way that didnt happen

#if theres a note that explains why some of the immortals have a whisk can someone point me to towards it?#im assuming its not actually a kitchen whisk although that would be something #is it like the feather dusters songxiao carry?#tgcf liveblog #mouse mumbles #i guess this is what im doing with my time now

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wtfzodiacsigns · 5 years

Text

My Experience With the Signs (Reprise)

Aquarius: They have a commanding presence to them that to some is intimidating but not to me. You stick to your “one way of doing things” far too much. they act emotionally detached even when everyone knows they’re the most sentimental person in the room. some of them get on my nerves with their one track mind, but for the most part we get along. they’re the type to say eww guiltlessly when you say you like something really lame (if they dont then they’re the lame one). don’t really get irony for some reason either. they dont understand how you can be ironically into something really stupid, like saying you ironically listen to journey or hall and oats sometimes.

Pisces: its a 50/50. Either I love you or I can’t stand you theres no in between. they all have high morals and will really push them on people. this isnt a big problem unless their logic makes absolutely no sense which happens. they can be very intelligent but this can lead some to become overzealous. they’re smart, empathic and very compassionate. they are equal parts capable of being my favorite person or me just wanting to kill them due to some of their know-it-all natures and ridiculous logic. they’re the type where you can chain smoke talking about every topic under the sun with for 7 hours. so long as you don’t offend them which can happen pretty easily. make one innocuous joke or comment and all hell will break loose.

Aries: we would be cool except you make every issue about you. I admire your ability to stay positive, almost to a level where i fear you’re actually just ignorant of the problem completely. they’re good at making light of other peoples situations, but if something happens to them that they don’t like, its as if the whole world has to go on hold for them to figure it out. they can be really exhausting this way and come off as being super self absorbed. these are the type to call you at 4am saying “guess what just happened to me.”

Taurus: honestly not much has changed. you are still lazy and still prefer netflix and your bag of cheetos to hanging out. but regardless, they’re level headed and easy to talk to. they love to use the blame game to explain away their problems so they dont have to put work into adjusting their behavior. they have sound logic and ideas and can be that friend that you make a meaningful glance to across the room when the person you’re talking to is full of shit. nothing phases these people. until something does. then all hell breaks loose and they are insane.

Gemini: (i dont know many so im sorry if this is an unfair bias) out of all the ones I’ve known, they’ve all sucked. they manipulate and lie to get what they want from people. usually control. every picture on their facebook page is of themselves. they think they’re really talented and special when really they’re just a methhead trying to pick up underage girls with their guitar at a party they weren’t invited to.

Cancer: they’re all super sweet honestly. prone to being down on themselves and making their poor self esteem painfully obvious. they can get defensive and close themselves off even though you really just wanna hug them. tend to make poor relationship choices though they usually dont figure that out til later. really just fun to be around and drink half a bottle of tequila with. you can really tell them anything and they won’t judge you. a wholesome bean.

Leo: the person who cuts into a conversation because you haven’t said their name in five minutes. these are a bit of a mixed bag. the ones who dont have any control of their ego are unbearable: naiive, arrogant, selfish, self centered, etc. but the ones who are aware of their own egos are typically nihilists who like really weird anime and rip on themselves to make them laugh. the self aware ones have this “dead inside” air to them but not in a depressing gloomy way just in a confident “life is meaningless so fuck it” way. also I’ve never met a female leo who wasn’t gay so theres that masculine sign bringin the gay.

Virgo: they overanalyze too much and it makes them anxiety ridden but they dont do anything about it. they can be critical, but trust me they criticize themselves the most. they can be pretty blunt, and its a good trait only about half the time. they are secretly very emotional though most will never know that. they are dying inside but are super good at faking it and turning it into a joke. range from being overbearing to overly detached in about half a second. people don’t really perceive them the way they should in both directions good and bad. they stick to their ways but not in an aquarius or taurus way, but more of a “I am at a loss I dont know what else to do” way. typically very understanding and kind but not at first. it takes time to get through that prickly cynical exterior. they’re moody and typically get way too caught up and drown in tragedies. if something bad happens they never forget and they let it follow them to their grave. they’re the kind of person where you can lay on the hood of their car at night listening to beach house talking about how cool space is. (true story)

Libra: another 50/50. they both make me the angriest most miserable person on earth and also happy to the max. they love passionately when they’re actually in love but are prone to cheaty behavior which they never address. They get caught up in what people think of them without realizing it and it makes them act irrationally. they have a habit of trying to get someones attention or respect by covering up their true selves and adopting all the interests and hobbies of the person they admire, basically a chameleon. this makes them seem fake. i wish they would just embrace who they are and be themselves because literally everyone on earth would prefer that. some, usually the men, can be extremely arrogant and think they’re the greatest thing ever at everything with no evidence. they can be incredibly insecure and have all sorts of weird ways of covering it up. can be manipulative. very flirtatious which is great if you’re interested in one and really not great while you’re dating them. don’t really understand the concept of emotional cheating, probably because they do it so much and dont want to look at themselves as cheaters but they are. if you find a loyal self aware libra with integrity and self respect though, my god they could rule the world through their ability for kindness and love.

Scorpio: I can be good friends with them but dating them is always a poor choice. they can be pretty oblivious and a lot of them get caught up in trying to look cool. its not because they care what people think its for some weird unknown self serving reason. these people can surprise you in all kinds of ways. because they keep themselves pretty low profile you never really know what they’re capable of. they’re unpredictable that way. they are pretty slutty in frivolous relationships, but once they commit they’re pretty attached. almost to an unhealthy degree. like they could get beat up, cheated on and abandoned by their partner and still love them (true story. like 3 of them). honestly though, usually just dorky memelords who wanna argue with you about politics and music using alien conspiracies as supporting evidence.

Sagittarius: oh you fiery eyed beauties. the independent ones are the best ones. they can talk all kinds of shit and not give a fuck better than anyone and its amazing so long as you’re not on the receiving end of it. the lazier ones are usually more clingy and unsure of themselves and usually use that fiery energy on their loved ones and themselves which isnt as fun. they are the greatest best friends. they know exactly what to say and when and they are the type of person where if you tell them you got cheated on they’ll go find the bastard and light their car on fire. essentially, a punk rock sagittarius can’t be topped by anyone. just stay away from the alcohol because you are so prone to being an alcoholic like please stop we love you.

Capricorn: usually very sweet. like to the point where you wonder if they’re “okay.” they will put up with some ridiculous shit from people. if you need emotional support though ask a capricorn because they will be there. usually like to keep in charge of themselves and accomplish their goals in their own kind of strange ways. usually neat and clean and smell good. they’ll buy you pizza and not ask to pay it back. if you upset one enough to leave your life then you’ve fucked up big time because they will put up with just about anything.they are precious keep them close and protected. I only met one i didnt like and they literally ended up the person i dislike most out of the whole human race that I’ve met. so i guess this means they’re just as capable of being complete asswipes as they are being squishy marshmallows.

Source: nanothestrange

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oh-goldeneyes · 5 years

Text

CNCO comforting their s/o after fans are harsh on them

Requested? Yes! By @prettyboypimentel

(I thought this was a great idea btw)

Warning: none ?

Christopher

- probably started happening recently

- like a week or two now

- you don't really pay attention to them tbh

- you knew this was going to happen when you agreed to go out with Chris

- so you were fine with it

- -until Chris said something reallyyy dumb

- you'd be on the couch together watch a movie one night

- when the girl on the screen is seen cheating on her husband with another guy

- Chris kinda laughs and goes " damn she should stay with that one he's WAAY hotter just saying"

- you got reminded of all the messages saying Chris was probably cheating on you with someone else since he was a bit of a mujeriego

- you got really quite all of a sudden

- Chris looked over at you like "Estás bien, bebé?"

- you just smiled before rushing upstairs to your shared room saying you weren't feeling good

- you could hear his footsteps behind you so you quickly rushed into the bathroom

- he started calling out for you from the other side but all you could focus on was your phone which was now full of those messages

- Chris was knocking softly on the door begging for you to talk to him

- I can practically hear his heart shattering when you walk out with red eyes and a tear stained face

- "ay bebé, please tell me what's wrong it kills me to see you like this"

- he says pulling you into his lap and sitting on the bed

- when you do tell him what's wrong... his face is so full of emotions

- he looks angry, confused , sad , disappointed

- he lifts you head up with his finger and smiles softly

- " you want to know why I stopped being like that? Going after any girl who showed any interest in me and then doing it all over the next time we go out? Carajo Y/N it's because I met you. And - and I realized I didnt want any other girl, I wanted you. No amount of hate comments or edited pictures are EVER going to change that, bebé"

- and now you're both crying

- I dont think he'd go off on a rant on social media but you can expect a picture of both of you on his Instagram later with the caption:

- " oh yeah you're stuck with me for a looong time count on that "

Richard

- Oh, homeboy notices

- you two would be on your way home from a date when you’re phone vibrates

- He sees your face go from giggly to sad REAL quick

- You close your phone and keep joking around with him hoping he didn’t notice

- Once you guys are at a red light he says he forgot to tell Chris or Joel something and if he can borrow your phone since his is in the back seat for some reason

- you let him and he goes straight to Twitter

- 4 words my friends

- RICHARD

- IS

- NOT

- HAPPY

- Clouded a bit by his anger he asks you about it immedieatly

- like “??? WTF is this???”

- oH SHIt

- trying to convince him it’s nothing and he should just drop it

- yeah, you just fueled the fire

- “drop it? DROP IT?! How can I drop this Y/N they’re literally calling you a slut how AM I GOING TO DROP THIS!”

- You two ended up in a heated argument on your way back home

- Once back at the house you don’t feel like fighting anymore

- “RICHARD there are SO MANY fans who actually like me ok? They’re just - just not as noticeable when 3/4 of them are saying the opposite..”

- He feels like a dick

- He should’ve talked about it with you not attack you on it

- Apologizes before bringing you into is arms letting you shed as many tears as you needed into his chest

- When you’ve both calmed down, you actually talk about it

- Probably heads to Twitter and says something along the lines of

- “ The worst feeling in the world? Having the people who support you hurt the love of your life”

- when you wake up the next day the amount of compliments you got over shadowed the mean ones by a long shot

Zabdiel

- I feel like you 2 would be the couple who tells each other everything you know?

- so when they started bothering you he’d know

- THAT IS... until they started getting worse

- you didn’t tell him about it after a while so he thought it was getting better or no longer happening

- poor sweet clueless bb

- every night when you felt Zabdiel holding you closer you’d think back to all those tweets saying shit like

- “Wow can’t believe I’m saying this but can we get Gwen back?sjsks”

- he’d start to worry he did something wrong when he feels you getting distant

- so one day ya’ll are binge wathcing the Harry Potter movies and half-way through the goblet of fire you’re phone vibrates

- you were in the kitchen so he decided to look at it

- “probably her mom again”

- SURPRISE it’s not your mom

- Get’s teary eyed just seeing what his fans think of you

- we know Zabdi is one sentimental boi

- you come back with more popcorn and find him looking sadly at your phone and you freak

- grabbing out of his hands and quickly trying to delete the messages even though it’s too late

- the damage is done : he’s seen them

- You have your back to him and hear him getting up off the couch

- at this point you’re both holding back tears cuz neither of you want to talk about it

- You both stand there in complete silence for a few minutes until you feel him tugging you into his chest

- and every ounce of strength you’ve had over the past few days trying to keep it together breaks right then and there

- You’re knees feel week and you’re both slowly sliding to the ground crying into each other

- You feel him turning you around and putting your foreheads together

- “ay... ay mi amor. Why didn’t you tell me? You tell me every thing... why- why not this?”

- So you tell him everything you’ve been feeling for the past week and his heart breaks a little every time your voice would crack

- You both fall asleep on the couch holding each other tight while the beginning of the order of the Phoenix played in the background

- He doesn’t go to social media for this, he just focuses on seeing you smile for the next few days and he makes you promise to tell you every thing and he’ll do the same

- guys I’m crying why do I do this to myself

Joel

- Buckle up

- he knows when his baby isn’t feeling well

- prides himself on it haha

- like you don’t have the time to tell him you’re sick and he’s already serving you chicken noodle soup

- so when you don’t finish vine references with him on time he like ???

- Doesn’t know how to ask you what’s wrong

- does he ease into the question or just go straight forward with it??

- he decides to finally ask you when he sees you distracted for the sixth time that day

- tbh you don’t know how to tell him either

- how do you tell your boyfriend you don’t think you deserve to be with him because you aren’t talented enough or EXTREMELY hot or funny or anything

- how do you tell him the people who support him the most got those ideas in your head...

- So you lie and tell him some shitty other story

- “uM... I saw a duck ....in the park...the other day that kind of looked like.... Richard??”

- Yeah, not buying it

- So he starts to insist on what’s wrong and GOD he is not making this easy on you

- after like 9 minutes of him asking what’s wrong and asking you if you don’t trust him anymore you just start shedding tears

- he’s too sweet you really don’t deserve him

- he goes into panic mode

- “shit I made her cry oh- no shit shitshit asshole - fuck”

- You tell him it’s not him that’s making you sad (he said that out loud dummy)

- you take a deep breath and let everything you`re feeling out

- Joel gets emotional because he used to feel those things about himself too

- Hugs you so tight, as if if he let go the world around him would crush you

- Carries you to your shared bed and wraps you into a burrito using the blankets

- Holds you in his arms again and spends the whole night telling you all of the reasons why he loves you

- Once you’re asleep this bb DIVES to Twitter

- to everyone’s surprise not to rant or fight with the CNCOwners

- he posts a video of he filmed of you balancing a chopstick on your nose and failing many times while he’s laughing hard on the other side of the camera

- the caption?

- “ I’m gonna marry you one day, I swear”

- (I’m melting guys)

Erick

- CLUELESS BABY BOYYY

- The minute you guys announced you were together the fans went crazy

- most of them really happy for you two they saw how happy you made Erick and loved you instantly

- ... the other half.... not so nice

- by that I mean hitting you straight in the insecurities... and HARD

- “ oof chubby much?” “seriously he could have anyone and he goes for THAT?” “awn she really thought she looked cute in this picture HAHA”

- yeah...

- so everyday whenever Erick told you a joke (cuz he loves seeing his baby smile) he noticed you’re smile wasn’t the same

- no matter how good you were at faking them, your eyes held so much sadness it made him sad

- so he tried to cheer you up by coming home early one day

- oh boy

- he’s outside the door leading to your shared bedroom when he hears a sob from the other side

- he rushes in and sees your phone buzzing next to you

- and there you are your knees hugging your chest and you head down

- you look up and see him standing there

- *sniffling* “Erick? Que haces I thought you were getting here late-”

- he’s holding you in his arms

- letting you cry into his shoulder as he peeks over to see your phone

- his heart breaks into a million pieces

- he’s holding the love of his life (he’s sure of it guys) , his world in his arms and the reason you’ve been upset all this time is because of his fans

- he doesn’t understand

- how can someone not love you?

- The way your nose crinkles when you smile, or your singing voice that sounds like angels to him no matter what you say, or even the corny jokes you two share all the time... your eyes that hold all the stars in the sky to Erick

- he doesn’t understand one bit

- he finds himself also crying into your neck

- You tried to explain yourself but he shushes you telling you it’s ok, he’s there and he’s not leaving

- and that he loves you

- so so much

- *actually crying while writing this*

#cnco #cncowners #cnco fanfic #cnco imagine #erick brian colon #christopher velez #joel pimentel #zabdiel de jesus #richard camacho #cnco headcanon #la banda cnco #la banda #la banda yoandri #yoandri #johann vera

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theskyexists · 4 years

Text

watching bladerunner 2049

great environmentally destroyed earth there

i believe that the blatant humanity of AI in this film - as well as their blatant ability to love and feel empathy (a huge divergence from the book) while still being treated as inferior and disposable objects is a comment on how we do that to Other humans without blinking.

though also, they can project a hologram, then solidify the hologram - but they can’t clean up the damn atmosphere? like really. I guess that can only be explained by an elite trying to stay on top by keeping capital firmly in their own hands. i was looking at those solar farms and just going....how is that bringing in any energy in this dust?

also the problem i have with Ryan Gosling as this lead dude who’s in love with his adjustable AI hologram is that i never buy him as capable of love in that way. ever. at all. (so possibly it’s the right choice? anyway this whole thing is creepy)

yeah it’s supposed to be like: lol this was just a fantasy

‘a sentimental skin job’ - evidence of funerary practice, of altruistic behaviour (of grief, of empathy?) he says sorry even though by society’s standards the robot’s owed no courtesy? then he thinks the dude ate the baby - like thats not more insulting

so what separates robots from humans is not - eating food, drinking liquor, getting hurt, feeling empathy - but the ability to reproduce??? (but doesnt he need to sleep?)

the argument really is that being born = having a soul? lol thats a crazy wall to build a society on but there’s been stupider and more arbitrary ones. again, maybe that’s the point

a LOT of product placement in this.

it keeps to the same formula though. an investigator who is forced to forego his own empathy to ‘do the job’. Meeting with the local robot company, meeting the secretary in charge made to appeal. etc. etc. i think that’s pretty cool.

this building is very pharaoic. great set

eyyy a reference to the book. a lil origami sheep (got what he wanted)

im getting the impression from this film that ‘androids’ haven’t got a metal thing in their body and they’re just clones. which honestly i also got that sense from the book so that makes sense

ah so the android was based on himself (he looks ryan gosling like? or can i not distinguish white guys?). and this one is based on the K’s configuration of Joi.

Naturally the android to be ‘inspected’ is a woman who gets to be naked and weak and shit.

‘Every leap of civilisation was built off the back of a disposable workforce’ - great. (the film does a good job being like: hm yeah but the world is shit now so how is that leap so super ?)

Yikes i mean uh i know it’s like a commentary on disposable bodies and people as chattel and women as ‘reproducers’ but they’re portraying him and all his fuckin self-important self-righteous power-hungry megalomaniac rich bitch speeches as a fuckin sermon worth listening to

and if they don’t take him down in this film i will be mad.

and also i wanted to stab his eyes out the moment he put his hand on her belly but unfortunately i get the sense he’s going to stab HER

but well they’re still sticking with the book formula which is still clever, the Investigator being in love with some AI and then having to kill the android that looks just like her because the company doesn’t keep to the law and shit

- i hope they push just a lil bit different since they’ve clearly established the main premise of the book is the opposite in this film - androids DO have empathy, they DO dream of electric sheep (in this case, electric Joi)

I sure hope ‘Luv’ gets to murder Wallace for what he does to this baby android.

I know he’s a rapist capitalist sadist god complex creepbitch but goddamn i sure hope that the movie MEANT for that reading or i will be mad.

he literally did nothing but creep on a CHILD android and then murder her FOR NOTHING. wow. i’ve never wanted androids to take over and kill a human so badly before. This sure is the opposite of Terminator.

i liked mackenzie davis’ performance here.

‘am i the only one who can see the fuckin sunrise, here?’ uhhhh why are you shouting at the android? like, where the fuck are your human officers and bosses? i love how apparently a police boss can just drink on the job? bc sci fi noir. not that ryan gosling manages that. i JUST noticed that she has bare legs, and now they cut to putting them on display. this is going to end badly (im feeling like there’s going to be some sort of sexual power abuse. edit: she was testing his humanity and he deliberately failed teh test to stop her interest in him)

why the fuck would they implant that memory. (but he thinks that it might be real) (but then how would he have ended up there at the police station)

theres a lot of rain in this world

we now move onto the marginal humans that live in the waste, discarded. and how they destroyed without blinking by a marginal android operating on the orders of the richest man alive.

i have to say that watching this movie makes me so happy about trees and blue skies

the marginal children - processing the waste - sick, abused, enslaved.... here all white...supervisor...black. interesting choice. (all this suffering for ‘civilisation’ - the nickel for the colony ships - this is a lot more spicy than the book - a lot more realistic about who suffers and dies for that kind of thing)

starts to seem like he really is the kid - these ‘orphanage’ stairs look a lot like that memory

Gosling is great for this role bc he doesn’t really have to move his face. but god the pace of this film is so SLOW! had to skip a bit of his slow shuffle to the horse man. ‘ohhh i was a real child, from loving parents, oh no i killed my dad! after killing my mum through childbirth! fuck! im the child that im hunting! oh shit! hey i have a soul!’

you’re special because actually you had agency all along and you’ve been using it to murder people wink

i dont understand the AI bit in this. don’t understand why they would hide him with so much care that he’d know nothing about who he was and kill his dad. like. surely that wasn’t the idea. also if the AI is Wallace’s why can’t Luv hack it. also i really kind of dislike her male fantasy self.

I like this Doctor. she is very very sweet and lovely. i dont really know why nobody would come visit her.

so we can read memories, implant memories, project memories not photo realistically ACTUALLY realistically, we can construct memories from the imagination but we can’t - i repeat - we can’t clean the damn atmosphere?? i mean yes yes yes this is... a perfect example of how capitalism will not necessarily put money into tech that is you know - a good idea for us all collectively but rather into something that can be sold but god DAMN

manipulation eyyyy. already exercising his freedom of mind

really. an android selling sex to an android??? what the fuck lol. it’s a clone implanted with fake memories selling sex to a clone. yeah yeah yeah society has deemed them inhuman purely because they were built but THE POINT IS THEY are human in literally every other sense and controls them through law and brain make-up and then eliminating everybody who grows their brains from baseline? (why are they even paid?? is that supposed to be pavlovian?)

i really don’t understand what this AI is about. i just can’t get over that this really doesn’t seem like a love story

he almost died and then this AI springs sex on him lol. i really. i just really don’t care for this story and that’s possibly because Ryan Gosling is just so fuckin bad at selling any kind of love story like his eyes are always SO DEAD

oh my god im only halfway. oh my god. THIS FILM IS ALMOST THREE HOURS LONG. jfc

this is such an extremely male fantasy it bores me to death. im a dude who’s badass, powerful, controlled, SPECIAL, also told im special by my very humany AI gf who i installed exactly to my tastes, she desperately wants to have sex with me FOR ME because im just so cool and wonderful despite being so tortured and possessing eyes like a dead fish.

let’s spend 20 mins on undressing another two women in this film as we, the viewers, and i, the male protagonist just stand and watch. let’s re-emphasise how she’s just a self-learning ai

there’s light? warm light?

and then they have the women fight each other ? cool cool cool. im not saying it’s not realistic, im just saying it’s boring. i thought Mackenzi was going to proposition K for the resistance

still not sure why Luv hasn’t hacked her already. first time the romance feels slightly real

I guess Luv is indoctrinated. i still like police boss don’t hurt her. i mean obv she’s terrible but so is everybody else. she cried...again. so she kills from anger - not because she had to. she kills her the same way Wallace killed the android. i’d love to read a lil analysis about this. later. women-on-women violence

oh she really DID know where he was but kept it from Luv. why? was she willing to die for him? no. her dignity? maybe. The women in this are mysteries. also why is he still allowed to use the car and drone when he’s suspended. that’s pretty fuckin stupid.

hmm giant statues of naked women WITH heels on posed sexily and unthreateningly. im just saying. this is all super psychoanalysis galaxy brain.

gasp there is a real live bee. thats a book call back

and a classic perfectly intact building

HALF OF THIS FILM IS JUST RYAN GOSLING SHUFFLING THROUGH STRIKING LANDSCAPES AND SETS FROWNING JUST SLIGHTLY

it’s got the opposite problem of the book: it is SLOW AS FUCK

how does he know what a piano is

wow K’s really good at de-escalating. why not just be honest. so he got shot, blown up and then? still fine walking. lol they just gotta show off that he’s still a bladerunner! (where the fuck did that name come from...)

here you’re bleeding in your face. ok? he’s also bleeding from the shotwound maybe? that was definitely implied that he got shot.

and K’s also really bad at asking questions lol. thats because all he ever did was shoot people. anyway this is boring again, these two fighting about nothing - some kind of testerony bullshit about zero stakes - but apparently just screaming at the man will help

also im not sure why he assumed Deckard was the father.

harrison ford delivered that well.

‘to strangers’ i fuckin hate ryan gosling i don’t know if its because hes a bad actor or because his interpretation is so shit

so Deckard left, Rachel died in childbirth (really? lol. god do i want to fuckin consume a woman’s story about goddamn dying in childbirth) and Sapper left him at the orphanage? but how the fuck did he then get slotted into police service all official like??? doesnt make sense except Mackenzie’s network’s got something to do with it

ok so it was implied but now confirmed taht androids come with enhancements

oh nooooo she kills his love :( awww. i can’t feel for him at all lol

but she almost kills the kid she so badly wanted to find

i wonder why she’s so sadistic. probably because she learned from wallace. but all the womb - woman - beautifying - controlled by man - in fear of him - in thrall of him - killing other women again and again sadistically while killing men coldly is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i just dont care for it you know

also this AI woman turned out to have NO role in the movie except to lavish attention on this dude (make him seem capable of love except ryan gosling can’t move his face) and then be fridged lol

so why does she let him live? fuckin bullshit

look, i like the aesthetic and the world but god the director is wayy too in love with it - SPEED THIS SHIT UP

so actually - if Rachel died in childbirth how is she holding the baby in the pic

“That baby meant that we are more than just slaves”

This could be really cool - like - taking back the means of reproduction!!! This is how we will become a PEOPLE. Freedom through female fertility as a symbol. But because uhhhhh this is all a Male Fantasy it feels decidedly icky and not like that at all. Like, why did they make the kid male? That...makes no sense? if Rachel was the only one who could bear children bc of her ...genes? Why the fuck would you centre the story on somebody who cannot take up that legacy, cannot be that symbol? It’s totally weird

OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH!!!!! ok lol.

he thought he was the kid but the girl is....but uh then why was there an exact copy. as a red herring? THEN HOW DID HE GET from the orphanage to the fuckin police???

Is Luv supposed to be the girl though? because they keep killing all the female characters so it’s like, uhuh. it’s not mackenzie bc like thatd be silly huh. i mean it would be stupid but they could pull that

if they think he can get at deckard, why not get him to shoot wallace

how did he get a fuckin police car lololololol

ah these super high tech hoovercars have zero defenses against ??? what is he even shooting at them?

Luv’s actress does something very interesting to her voice when she gets emotional or shouts orders - kind of monstrous and inhuman

well he certainly hit them perfectly

WHERE DID HE GET THE POLICE CAR?

“I’m the best one” yeah - i.e. so I cannot be killed by my master as he’s made me do to so many

why do they always INSIST on men killing women by choke. don’t be so fucking stupid. if she can push his head under water she can punch his lights out. SHE LITERALLY JUST HAD A KNIFE - SHE COULD HAVE STABBED HIM IN THE EYE

why would she waste air grunting. she doesn’t even fake him out. i know they’re human so thats counter-instinctual but like, she’s supposed to be an incredible fighter. it’s the same thing with how they have her do all these kicks and he stays standing because women = agility, men = endurance, and then he punches her once and she goes flying. THEY”RE ANDROIDS HARRY. WHY WOULD YOU BUILD GENDER BULLSHIT IN???

so how many women did we see die extremely explicitly and/or aesthetically and/or plot/significantly so far? raechal (childbirth), the android baby (one cut to the womb), the police boss (one cut to the womb), AI girl (one crunch), Luv (one shot and one strangle-drown).

Ryan Gosling can get shot, blown up, killer punched 7 times, get blown up again, have his lung get perforated by schrapnel, be kicked to shit 5 times. he gets a bandage on his nose and takes it off again so thats a total reset apparently. He’s then shot again, kicked to shit again, sliced in the hand, stabbed in a place thats clearly deadly, half drowned - and he STILL KILLS THIS ANDROID WOMAN. HE STILL KILLS THE BEST WALLACE HAS EVER MADE.

WHAT?!!??!?!!

the men get shot from a distance, bombed from a distance, shot from a distance.

im sorry but this sucks.

and then ryan gosling swims all the way to land.

lol why does this script try to convince me that in this advanced fuckin tech society they wouldn’t be able to check for Deckard’s body??? and then he brings him to a place that’s monitored??

oh right the Doctor was the daughter. so.....they lied about her auto-immune disease? she knew that she had given him her memory? why did they do that? im still not clear on that???

how tf and whytf would they send the girl to the orphanage and let her get beat up by some boys, and only then send her to some perfect chamber

ryan gosling always plays such emotionally constipated characters - they never wanna have anything good

THAT’S IT!?!! they’re not going to explain shit?? they’re implying K just died?? leaving Deckard to get picked up by police and Wallace to find the Doctor and and THEY DIDN’T EVEN KILL CREEP EXTROARDINAIRE FUCKING WALLACE???

All they did was kill the abused slave by fucking choke?????

#anyway this was one of the worst movies i ever saw it's literally just cool tech and cool sets and shit acting and sexism #my stuff #vidi

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zenosanalytic · 5 years

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4/20/19 HSE 8

Ok back at it

MEAT 15

Cool Fight; Not terribly surprising.

MEAT 16

Dirk’s as much Rose’s father as Rose is his Mother. I guess maybe it’s more convenient, psychologically, to choose a causative direction and stick with it, rather than accept the Mobial nature of their genesis, but for some reason it bugs me this keeps getting overlooked.

Dirk’s over here talking about how right he is all the time and I dont think he was ever right about anything even once in canon(aside from certain aspects of his talk with Dave, and choosing not to kill Hal) XD The only “plan” of his to work was the one re: entering the Session, and 1)he outsourced it to Hal and 2)it only worked because he managed to improvise his way through every aspect of it failing to go the way he thought it would, and even that probably had more to do with their entry being part of HiC’s plan to use them, so she wasn’t trying to wipe them.

Another Thing: I dont think the Ascent Differential is Aspect so much as Personality.

Another Another Thing: That Rose, when discussing her life-long fear of knowledge as a corrupting and ruining outside force(this being a person who always felt her mother wasn’t her mother, in some sense, and responded to that fear by rejecting emotional intimacy with said mother), doesnt see the connection between that life-long fear and her fear that Ascending will be bad, damaging, and corrupting, is Notable. Perspective continues to be important, and lack of self-awareness continues to hamstring ppl in this narrative.

MEAT 17

I feel like this new narrative belligerence on Dirk’s part isn’t going to work out too well for him with a person as aware and recalcitrant to narrative meddling as John. It’s going to be John and WV all over again. This is also a wonderful example of how personal flaw and specificity isn’t solved by Godhood in HS, and can really trip you up; basically all of this, including the “impotence” applies to Dirk, too, when others disagree with the direction he’s trying to push them in, and this whole rant may be meant, ironically, as an example of dramatic irony: basically, that Dirk’s rant about total control and knowledge reveals the limits of his knowledge and will be followed by examples of how limited his control is, which he can’t be aware of, but which the “impotent” audience will.

MEAT 18

...And, almost immediately, John’s objecting to the narration and doing things before Dirk “writes” him doing them(the sigh).

MEAT 19

“So yeah, I’m gonna allow it” Notice how he asserts power over situations he does not, in fact, have power over.

Which is kind of an interesting dynamic to bring up in the context of authorship? I mean: in the realm of nonfictional works an author can’t “make” things happen, only alter for their audience what DID happen. In some respect this is being written as equivalent to that dynamic; the simple admission in M17 that Dirk is misrepresenting events also admits those events happened another way than he’d prefer, meaning it’s also an admission of his lack of power over actual events. And, of course, all the other things I’ve been talking about, and the fact that everyone’s “character” is rooted in natures established in the original work. But in a fictional work an author’s creative power is absolute, and this is a fictional work; though I suppose a derivative or transformational one, which accounts for the shortfall. Another interesting aspect of this is that the “Author” is presented as a Narrator; Narrators merely describe what happened, they don’t create it. I was going somewhere more concrete with this but it popped out of my head >:T >:T

Ok so other aspects of this: I agree that Jane’s been established as a pretty ambitious person, but she was also always a pretty moral person and the way she’s going about this so far doesn’t seem to be in keeping with that part of herself. And also: she literally wants to create shortages, and thus the suffering shortages will cause, for... what? Nostalgia? Because she think she can run Capitalism better than the adults from before all this?? Because Hierarchy is Neat??? Seems like a whole handful of really petty, selfish, and juvenile reasons to me. Also one guaranteed to cause social conflict; I doubt a civ that’s never known material want is going to react too well to sudden starvation and financially-manufactured forced-labor(which, lbr, is what most work in our world is).

Obvsl, as a snake and member of the storied gens Atheris, I agree with Roxy&Calli that patriarchal human concepts of gender are not the end-all-be-all of identity, but what really jumps out to me here is Roxy’s description of the nature of their love for, and previous sexual interest in, Dirk which I find really True. Like: the sentiment of wanting to see children of a person because you really like that person and think they should continue, or of thinking having the kids you might have with another person would be pretty interesting. Also that loneliness is a hell of a drug 8T

I’m trying to figure out why this conversation would be circumstantially simultaneous with The Furthest Ring being “destroyed”, but I got Nothing :T :T :T

MEAT 20

So yeah, Jade’s merging with her Alt!Selves, not too surprising since it was heavily foreshadowed in Endgame.

Given that Sessions are located IN the Furthest Ring, and Sessions MAKE new multiverses, I find it being made out of “negative potential. The absence of a future” pretty ironic :p I wonder if the tentacle hair bit is a nod towards the Horror-Terrors, and theories about them being Players? Rose and Dirk’s view of Ascension would seem to suggest HTs might be SUCCESSFUL players who eventually abandoned their universes out of fear of the damage they’d do misusing their godhood(as it doesnt solve your personal problems), rather than the old HC of them being failed Players.

MEAT 21

My theory about “The Economy” being code for sex doesn’t stop feeling ever more confirmed by this narrative :|

Dirk’s anger at the idea of anyone not thinking he’s right about everything is Palpable on this page. Also I’d just like to note that This:

Is being said by a person currently in the middle of metaphysically manipulating a friends towards her worst impulses(and also potentially some amounts of self-hatred, give her thoughts re: femininity) for the sake of establishing a dictatorship through which she, as his agency-dimmed puppet, will enforce his personal politico-philosophical preferences regardless of what anyone else thinks and he’s saying it about people who just said This:

which is to say: a bunch of political pluralists who are NOT seeking to impose their morality on anyone but rather to establish a system where EVERYONE can SHARE their moral understanding of policy issues and come to a consensus decision on them, within the context of a political society DEFINED by the equality of all as political actors. There’s just so much that’s wrong, weak, and easily dismissable about Dirk’s argument here. Not to mention his obvs, undisguised, physical disgust for trolls >:T

And he’s doing all this Purely because, given his fixation on “Winning”, he wants to Win. Like: he’s not actually even pursuing what he considered good policy; he is, literally, doing this all for Pure Ego, which he has the gall(and lack of self-awareness) to accuse others of acting from. And this self-deluding buffoon is a person who believes himself “Ascended” and therefore possessed of a “higher” and “clearer” perspective on matters above their “petty” concerns about, oh non-humans being allowed to live as they like, or practice any political agency at all, and all ppls being spared unnecessary and pointless suffering due to entirely manufactured shortages. So much (real, actual)Irony, of so many types, in all of this, all at once.

An aside: I am really liking the political-mindedness of these Epilogues so far; really playing to my Interests uwu

The bit about Hybrid babs and shipnames is funny, and it doesn’t read like a shot at the fandom to me at all; it’s more a joke at Dave’s expense given the obvs distress Kanaya’s in and his inability to stop making the situation more awkward(itself prob the result of Bro’s neglect/abuse)

Oh hey look: it’s Dirk the “Omniscient” being distracted, caught unawares and off-guard by the actions of others, unable to handle the role&work he’s chosen for himself(ie “out of his depth”), unable to split his attention between even just two conscious ppl at once, and not knowing what others are thinking. Given this and his handling of Jade’s thoughts in the last section, I kinda feel like it’s less he can actually sense the thoughts of others, and more that he gets some kind of inkling or hunch, or maybe that’s it’s purely just him guessing(that’d fit real well with his comments on Roxy being “inscrutable” to him), or even just having an awareness of the plot he is narrating(and thinks he’s writing). Of course it could also be some kind of Heart thing; not really even access to their thoughts at all, but a sort of awareness of their Agency? Like: Heart is The Self and The Self is expressed through Agency, so he has, in some way, developed an awareness of “Self-Action”, which is to say, Agency? Kinda like how Dave “feels” Time and Jade “feels” Space and Rose “feels” Relevance. Which, just as an asnide, would be something super-basic powers-dev wise, since Dave started having a sense of Time way back in the early Acts, long before godhood. Though I can see how Dirk developing an awareness of OTHERS intentions(and feelings, potentially, given Heart’s other associations) would seem like a big step for him, given how self-absorbed he is.

Ok that’s it for this one I think. I know I’m not being terribly kind to Dirk in all this but, tbf, he’s being kind of a huge snide Dick in basically every respect, and I also don’t have a lot of Chill in me when it comes to 1)arrogant people or 2)manipulators (:T

#Homestuck #HS Epilogue #Homestuck Spoilers #zA Opinions #analytic posts

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this--love-is-treacherous · 7 years

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okay i know no one is going to read this, but i just want to put it out there and i don’t know maybe someone actually will take the time to read this and i don’t know maybe help me??? or understand me??? idk, but here it goes lately i’ve been feeling all kinds of emotions and being extra sentimental and, honestly, feeling like shit. And here goes why : a boy. WHAT A CLICHE AND TEENAGER THING TO DO, i know and trust me my head is just like “stop this” but… i can’t. So my story with this guy begins over a year ago, april (i think???) of 2016, i went to a friend’s surprise birthday party and he was going to be there, at that time i don’t even know who he was like i have only heard his name once and because one of my friends (kinda) made out with him. The thing is before meeting him (or any of the other guests) i hung out with a friend to buy a present and go together where the party was, so, anyway, my friend told me that she wanted something with him because they have been texting for like two days?? maybe?? and he seemed really nice and he was handsome and he seemed interested in her and she wanted some action lmao so, i asked her if she had asked Lucie (i’m gonna use names bc it’s gonna get really confusing. Rachel is the one who wanted to make a move on him and Lucie is the one who has already made out with him okay leT’S CONTINUE) if she was okay with that bc you know, obvious reasons, Rachel told me that they have an agreement and i was "okay which is??" she told me that none of them wanted something serious so the one he payed more attention or you know, were more flirty with, will me the one “allowed” to make a move on him. NOW flash forward to the birthday party, when i first met him he was sO NICE and i felt so comfortable??? which happens never with strangers??? i was shook. Anyway, so he starts being flirty with me, paying attention to me, and talking to me, laughing with me,… and little to nothing with the others , i flirted back but because i was comfortable and you know, flirting is kinda funny and you know at the time i saw it like innocent flirtation??? after we left all my friends started like ohmygod you two should make out, you were so cute, he definitely wants something with you….. like that and i was like no????? i’m not gonna see him, like, ever again????? and at the time it was true (little did i know) , i didn’t even had his phone so there wasn’t much that i could do so i just kinda forgot about him, he was just the guy i flirted with and that made me feel “"special”“ somehow bc he payed attention to me and not my hot friends so it was nice. One month later we happen to be in the same birthday party of anOTHER friend lol and as the time before we flirt and we laugh and he still pays attention to me so by this time i start to wonder "what if???” and after this birthday he follows me in instagram and somehow he got my snapchat as well, neither of us talk to each other but he is in the back of my mind and i start to think of him as my crush (i mostly blame my friends for this bc they were so like “you two are so cute!!!1!!”) and one day, out of the blue, he sends me a snapchat and i was like boy??????? anD here comes the ????? part : it was a photo of him about to go in the shower (NO NUDES DONT WORRY lmao) so i was like wtf and i “texted” him back with “cool background, your shower, nice place to take photos lmao” and he answers me “ well it’s obvious you’re new to my snapchat, i do this all the time” and i go to his snapchat story and the same photo was there so i was like okay he just sent me this by mistake cool no problem excEPT the next day he does exactly the same thing, not with a shower photo but you know a mirror photo, idk, unimportant really, he sent me the photo but the photo was also in his story so i start doing the same thing. We go on for like three days, doing that, not talking, not answering the snaps, just sending photos that everyone is seeing lmao, anyways, so by the third day we get the streak and i think we both panicked (at least i know i did, lol it was getting real??? i don’t know if that makes sense, but) and we stopped sending anything like, at all (btw i never EVER told my friends about this because a) they were gonna make this a big deal when i knew it wasn’t and b) i somehow wanted to keep this between us??? idk ) . Anyway, near a year goes by, and during all this time i do not see him or talk to him or anything of the sort but he somehow still is in my head??????? i don’t know why and i know it’s stupid but no matter what i do (or who i do….) i can’t get him out of my head, just with the hope that i would see him again and finally ALMOST A YEAR LATER i do. It was honestly so unexpected, i was at a local festivity called San Isidro in Madrid (which is where i live btw) and we just bumped into each other (not literally but i was not there to see him, i just went so say hi to a friend and there he was!!) so i’m like “hey!!??” , he says hi as well and we talk, small talk, for about 20 minutes and he actually remembers me!! (again, unexpected) and he says “long time no see, i missed you” (okay, let me just say that this guy is VERY FLIRTY with everyone like you could say he is a fuckboy and he just has one of those personalities, in Spain we say ‘tirafichas’ lol) and i was like dying on the inside!! but in the outside sonehow i managed to stay cool and be flirty like ohmygod really? and what did you missed most about me? and he just says “you make me laugh” and yes, you guessed it, i almost died like imagine your crush!!amazing!! so, after this we get separated, he goes home and i don’t see him again that night. THE NEXT NIGHT i see him again and this night we talk more and he spent together more time, with other people most of the time, but sometimes only the two of us in the conversation and he asks me what do i want to study i ask him how his grades are doing, things like that, nothing to serious and we still are flirty with each other and, at one point of the night, one of my friends who was drunk af see us talking and asks us “are you two dating???” AND I WAS SO MORTIFIED LIKE I WANTED THE EARTH TO JUST SWALLOW ME , FOR REAL!! the funny thing is that this friend, Gabby, she haven’t met him and i haven’t told her about him, ever!! So after that i think we were moth so “embarrassed” that we go in separate ways until a few hours later when i was talking to one of the friends we got in common and he joined us and he starts talking about the last girl she had made out with and how he “"kept”“ a list of all the girls he had made out with and i was so??? disgusted??? but not only for the fact that he was my crush cause, after all, i didn’t had a reason to be mad at him just because i had a crush on him didn’t mean that he couldn’t live his life, it was for the fact that he kept a list??? like women were trophies??? so i tell him like "ohmygod that is so lame and honestly so??? wrong???” and he just looks embarrassed and says “well it’s not like i write them down is just, i like to keep count, not for anything in particular, not to brag or anything, i never told the number of girls i made out with to anyone, i’m so sorry if it looked sexist to you it’s just a thing i do” so kinda calm down after this cause he sounded so sincere??? and for what i have talked to him he seemed not that kind of guy??? like, yes, he was a fuckboy but not in a bad way?? idk if that makes sense… so, one thing led to another and we end up talking about virginity lmao (we were more than the two of us in that conversation just so you know) and as the virgin ass bitch i am i just shut up and i hear the others talk about their first time and my crush (which i think you deserve to know his name if you made it this far lmao) whose name is Charles (IT SOUNDS MUCH NICER IN SPANISH : CARLOS , everybody calls him by his last name anyway which is Rayo , translated to english it means lightning lol) ANYWAY he says “i only fucked once and it was because i liked this girl and i was comfortable with her, i don’t just fuck with anyone just so you guys know” and….. my heart eyes came back with those words and beSIDES he was looking at me most of the time he was saying that!! like!! what are you trying to do!! Anyway, the night ends, nothing happens, of course and we don’t see each other for 10 days i think????? ACTUALLY something really funny and strange happened in these 10 days, i left a comment in a friend’s photo on instagram and two hours later i see he has left a comment in the same photo!! and i was so shocked cause this friend is from a totally different circle than all my other friends, she is a year older and i only know her because she is in my volleyball team so for me there was no way these two knew each other so i texted her asking why the hell did she knew him and she tells me a) their parents know each other so they’re like cousins and b) he has asked the exact same question. You must know that by this time my crush was increasing and increasing and increasing…….so, back to the story, we run into each other again at a mutual friend’s bday (ACTUALLY the same friend bday party we first met) and again, we talk we laugh we flirt… but he also flirts with other guest who he has made out with before, i knew her she was at my school but you know we weren’t friends of anything and i don’t take this personally cause as i said before he was my anything and he obviously could do his life and honestly it hurt but like not really??? i think because i basically assumed that nothing was gonna happen that he was flirting with me and i’ll take that because i liked the feeling but i was okay with nothing happening i assumed that this feeling, whatever it was, it’ll go away, eventually. So that night we were at my friend’s house and some of us (including him and me) went to buy some alcohol (it was pretty late by then, like midnight probably???) so in this ….walk??? we ended up alone (like not alone ALONE, but like with some distance between us and the others) and he asked me about my love-life and i said like well i have a plan A but idk i don’t think it’s gonna work out (i was referring to him, of course) and he said “well, do you like this guy?? or this girl cause you know i don’t want to assume things” (I ALMOST DIED RIGHT THERE CAUSE I NEVER EVER EVER HAD KNOWN ANYONE OUTSIDE THE COMUNITY WHO HAS SAID THIS WITHOUT KNOWING MY SEXUALITY) so i answered “well i’m bisexual, but this one is a guy and no i don’t really like him it’s just ugh idk” by that time i wouldn’t admit that i liked him so i didn’t say lmao to what he said “nice, on the bisexuality thing. And you know if you don’t really like this guy then search for a plan B?” and i replied “Well, if I just could, but idk it’s just weird. But enough about me, what about you, how many plans do you have?” and he said with so!!much!!honesty!! (at least it seemed) “well i’ve been lying to you if i said i don’t have a few plans here and there but like lately everytime i make out with someone it’s just so ?? idk void?? and i’m not saying i want a girlfriend because let’s be honest i am not the relationship type but idk lately i’ve been in a down mood in my love life” so i told him i understood him completely and he was about to say something when the bday girl interrupted us (I LOVE HER BUT!!!! girl!!!! although in her defense she didn’t know that he was my crush if that i had weird feelings towards him so..) and said to him that she noticed him kinda sad and that he had to cheer up (i didn’t know him that well to know if he was sad but he has always been a cheerful guy around me that this broke my heart a little) and then she said like “don’t worry soon we’ll get you some girl so you can cheer up” (as i said he is quite a fuckboy and he has that game iand all his friends kind mess around with him because of it) but this time he said “okay you can quit with that already” and even his/my friend was a little shook tbh and from that conversation and forward he wouldn’t even talk to me like yeah if we were in the same group talking we would like say something to me but never too much, he totally changed how he behaved around me, he would talk and laugh and flirt with the others and when he maybe before looked for me he literally just moved if i came near him , idk it was weird. The night finally ended and despite the fact that i never said anything to my friends about how i felt for them rayo was just like “if it happens, it happens, but i’m not going to force it” when it really was “please please please let this happen i want it really bad” one of my friends that night kept insisting me that i made a move on him (which i didn’t obviously). After that night i was sure this was over, the flirtation the hopes, everything, over and i was ready to assume that and besides my most important exams where about to begins so i spent less time thinking about him, only when i listened to certain songs or when i saw his photo on instagram but i never let myself think about him too much on those days and honestly i was thankful for the distraction. Unfortunately, the distraction came to an end and my exams finished so everyone went out to party and GUESS WHO I FOUND (again, it was kinda of a festivity that we do when everyone finished these specific exams and we do it in the most known madrid university campus and we just drink, basically. It’s a little weird when i describe it but it’s typical spanish lmao) so i saw him and i was a little drunk, he was too, and he said hi and he acted normal again with me and again he flirted and he messed with me, and i did with him and we were back at it and i was so drunk that i didn’t even had time to think what this was going to do with my brain. And it was like the other times except this time he was being much more physical like other times maybe he grabbed my hand or “punched” me but it was platonic, but this time he hugged me and grabbed my hand x1000 times than usual and rest his head on my shoulder when we were sitting…. things like that and even one time he put his arm around me and our faces were INCHES away and he said “we’re quite a pair” (he didn’t literally said that but there’s not literal translation for what he said to me, this is the most alike i think) and since i was really drunk and he was too i was going to make a move and you know, blame it on the alcohol if it didn’t work but esforcé i could do anything he STEPPED AWAY. We continued talking, he took my alcohol away (by one my friend’s order lmao) and before i realised he was gone like, gone gone. Yes, he said goodbye, but you know my goal that night was to make a move on him and i couldn’t and when he left the alcohol hit me like a bitch and i was really sad (not only bc of him but other stuff too) so after crying for like 30 minutes??? i went home and in the way back my drunk ass texted him “heyyy! you kept my alcohol. not cool.” and after i sent it i showed to one of my friends like what the hell did i just do (AGAIN i must remind you my friends were clueless about my feelings for all they knew that night was just another opportunity for me to make out with him, and they totally thought i was crying about something else cause not once no matter how drunk i was i told them i was bothered for what had happened that night and they even didn’t know what happened after the next day when i told them) anYWAY back to the text, after sending that and not having an answer for like 15 minutes??? he texted me back saying “right, sorry ❤️” and i just replied with a “hahaha” (SMOOTH, RACHEL lol) sO THE NEXT DAY i pretended like i didn’t remember the conversation and said “lol i don’t remember texting you i guess i was really drunk yesterday. Tbh i’m kinda glad you took my alcohol, god knows where i had ended, well, at least i do know that i didn’t do anything i could have regretted today” (the last one was like a indirect??? don’t know if he got it) anyway he texted back and we kept talking for the rest of the day and he seemed interested in keeping the conversation so i was happy until the end of the day when he just let it die, like literally, it was SO EASY to continue the conversation cause i just had asked a question so after his reply it was enough for him to say “what about you?” but hE DID NOT so after that day (this was june already) we don’t talk again cause you know he let it die so i’m not gonna crawl back i’m sorry i still have my pride and after a few days i find out that he has been talking to this girl which was also at my school and being so obvious at her and just telling her that they should meet and that she was really pretty and you know just throwing himself at her, again i wasn’t jealous but this time it was really clear that he did not want anything with me cause if he did then he would’ve been as obvious with me as he was being with this girl so I FINALLY FINALLY accepted it, it hurt and it wasn’t easy i still had these feelings which were just getting stronger everytime i saw him and talked to him but i thought i have learnt my lesson. Then a week ago i saw him again and THE MOST CONFUSING THING happened, i run into him with some friends who he already knew and so he said hi and greeted (that exists????) with two kisses in the cheek (again, typical spanish) then he comes to me and instead giving me two kisses as he had done with everyone else and this includes two of his best friends he hUGS ME like literally put his arms around me!! and i’m like wtf!! so i put my arms around him too you know to, be nice?? and after 3 seconds?? i remove them cause i don’t want it to be awkward bUT he does not remove it and he says “come on, it’s you and me we deserve a hug” AND AGAIN I WAS SHOOK AF !! so after 20 seconds, easily???? he pulls back and goes to say hi to the rest of the people (again with the normal greeting of two kisses on the cheeks) and i am left standing there shook and my friend tells me “what the hell was that” and i’m like “no idea ” . So during the whole time he was there h e is AGAIN FLIRTING WITH ME AND BEING SUPER PHYSICAL and yes i relapsed because he is so cute!! and i am so comfortable around him!! and then he leaves and says “well, see you around” AND THAT’S IT BUT IM HONESTLY SO CONFUSED BY THIS GUY AND MY FRIENDS BASED ON THE THINGS THEY KNOW TELL ME THAT HE LIKES ME AND I DON’T WANT TO HAVE HIGH HOPES BUT I’D BE LYING IF I TOLD YOU THAT ONE SMALL PART OF ME DOESN’T THINK SO AS WELL BUT ITHER PART TELLS ME THAT HE DOESN’T WANT ANYTHING AND MAYBE HE IS MOCKING ME BECAUSE HE THINKS I LIKE HIM IR MAYBE HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS OR??????? idk this is really stressful so if anyone made it this far, probably no lmao, a) any advice????? b) im sorry for my grammar or typos it’s really late and i’m just pouring my thoughts so i’m not really thinking straight and c) thank you??? i guess??? for listening???

#love #crush #okay but tbh if my life was a tv show i would ship myself with this guy cause slowburn!!!#but it's actually not funny i'm going through a very rough time #and i hate feeling like this #please advice???? anyone???#also this post is really really really long i'm sorry #what do i do #personal #thoughts #feelings

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nadoblabla · 5 years

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About Me

I bet you already knew from my Twitter (twitter.com/elnado108) that I posted shits on daily basis. Recently, or maybe should I say "usually" , my tweets consist of rage, sadness, questioning myself, questioning the world, practically self doubt and self loathing almost all the time.

Finally, I snapped. Even Twitter can no longer support my overwhelming feelings. "Feelings? Why you use Twitter for feelings?" That's probably what logical people said. Yes, I can use Twitter for good purpose, to share interesting and useful stuffs, knowledge, information, etc. Then what? You see, I am a logical person too. In fact, I use logic almost all the time in real life, so logic that I start to doubt and questioning human nature and their beliefs (I still belief in Allah SWT as God, I simply question the system itself). Then after all these logic starts to bored me and problems come and go, I finally need to rest. I realize I have no one to share all of the pain and happiness other than myself.

Can't believe what I just wrote? First, let's put "parents" and "God" out of equation. Let's become an egoistic being and focus on me for a while. Focus on you. Focus on one single entity, yourself. Try, try to understand my point of view. Let's analyze the last sentence in my last paragraph.

"I realize I have no one to share all of the pain and happiness"

Yes. Let's analyze it (or let me analyze myself) using 5W+1H.

1. What do you mean by you have no one?

-> I do have friends. Most of them are men. I don't have that kind of charm like some of my friends (unsurprisingly, they all are extroverts) that can talk their way with girls, without making myself weird or vulnerable.

As a man, 22 years old, in a third world country that is closer than ever to conservatism, it is very difficult for me to share my problems with my peer. Toxic masculinity, or to put it simple, expectation for a man to always be strong, independent, having huge willpower, and never put themselves in a sentimental/emotional position in front of public. How many of you that told your friends to "don't cry! Boys don't cry! Steel yourself! These are nothing, there are worse things out there!" ?? Even in my campus, my department, my close friends circle, it still happened most of the time. Not only men, most women here expect the same thing. There is nothing wrong with being a tough guy. But it is impossible, yes I declare it with all money on the table, it is IMPOSSIBLE for any human regardless of gender to be tough and badass all the time 24/7. Now when I became vulnerable, when I am down, when I am sad, where should I go? To whom I should talk to?

TLDR, my friends, which almost all of them are male , can't accept my ramblings. Most of them simply give "logical" answer, like how men should, without understanding the underlying problems. The psychology part. The feeling part. Is my logical capacity is too low that I need to ask for others logical answer to my own life? HELL NO. Like I told you from the beginning of this post, I do think logically. And I am fucking bored with it, because no matter how hard I toughen myself up, no matter how delicate my problem solving skills, LOGIC can't solve it. Still not understand what I meant? Huft. It's easy. Every logical answer that most of my friends gave me is something that I ALREADY think about/consider/act upon it. It's not a new or brilliant answer that I looking for.

In the end, I have no one. I do have one/two women that probably can solve my problems, but they've been listening to my problems all these times, that it is simply sickening for me to keep asking for their help.

"Why not solving it yourself?" Some of you may ask.

Next time you are in a deep shit, even if that shit is your own mind, you may fuck yourself. Or you know, you may just kill those psychiatrist and therapist , or blow up psychology department in uni. The next time you meet someone with certain psychological disorder or mental problems, why don't give them a fucking AAA robot that can solve their problems with 100% accuracy. Or maybe, you are weak in science and start to spewing God this and that, you know what? You may be right. Try to ruqyah all of mental patients in mental hospital, give me shoutout if they are "cured". Better quit reading this post rather than trying to give your "number one answer to everything" answer to me. You are not my friend. You are not even on my level, you are low and don't even have rights to see me. Begone.

2. With whom you want to share your pain and happiness?

-> Is it obvious? Human. People that can connect with me not only on logical level , but also understand my feelings. Men and women are all the same. As long as you are not gay.

DISCLAIMER - Skip if you don't want to see me reasoning with SJW feminist gay activist liberals

"Wait! Why gay? You hate LGBT?" Even if my head is full of desire for freedom and happiness, I still can't tolerate LGBTQ++ or whatever that shit is. I do share values with both liberalism and conservatism (in this case, Islam and eastern culture). In short, I trust my own judgement and I don't want to put myself under liberalism/conservatism. I need to be higher than that.

3. Why you can't share with no one?

-> It sounds impossible. No one? For real? I can simply talk to strangers and explain to them all of my life and problems, can I?

If you look back to question number one, you already know the answer. But I do have additional things, that I want to... Add.

It's because even if I do have people to share, people/I might not have enough time. I am busy. Fifth year student in a top 5 campus in Indonesia. Then, even if somehow two/more unique individuals managed to find time to talk, do they actually care?

Several weeks/months ago I have another episode of depression. I share with one of my friend. A woman, as expected. Because man don't have time for these shits. That woman is actually a good woman. But sadly, she is bad in terms of talking on a deep, understanding level. Except when she talk about her love interest. When I shared with her about my personal problems, she seems "fine" until I slip a little detail about her crush, then the whole topic shift to satisfy her desire. It's okay, it is understandable. But at that moment, when I truly need help and in a 100% serious mode, she simply change the whole topic, disregarding the previous conversation completely, not even bothered to talk about it again until I decided to tease her about it. In the end, it will hurts more if the person that I try to trust with my vulnerabilities is simply a wrong, don't-give-a-damn person. In fact, being fake itself is already disgusting.

Yes. I need someone who actually care. Care doesn't mean they instantly become a mother figure. Let's put another example. Back when I was with Nita, she did care. She looked for me when I am missing, she noticed something different in me, she listened attentively. Oh you think I haven't moved on huh? In high school , I spend much of my time with no girlfriend. But I do have friends who missed me when I am gone. Or even if they too are busy with their life, when I am back, they are curious with me.

Now? I no longer have those attention. No warm welcome I always got (not always but yeah) when I entered the class like I used to be in highschool. No more stupid random calls. Indeed, today it's not that bad. But for some reason, I crave for human emotions. Sadness, happiness, love,hate, etc. My life is not like hell now, but it's like a calm water. Nothing happened. Nothing. Nihil.

4. When is all of these happened?

-> By the time problems hit me + the 8th semester (now I am on my tenth). It hits really hard due to my procrastinate habit plus loneliness that happened since I no longer have classes.

If you notice, actually I knew the problems within me. In the last paragraph, I mention "procrastinate". So yeah, stop thinking "Ah now you already understand the problem, why don't you act!". I am too genius. I simply want to talk.

5. Where...

-> err actually I dont know how should I analyze it with "where". So skip this W.

6. How you deal with this, until now?

-> With all of my previous answers, I decided to share it via social media. I KNOW it is spam for some people, I KNOW it is uncomfortable for some, I KNOW it is weird and shameful for me,but what choice do I have? I also plan to do charity stuffs, because I find happiness in other people happiness. Hopefully I am not BS-ing.

It's either I talk/write, or I die of suicide. You think there is another way? Remember, that I ask you readers to put away parents and God, since I believe it is something that I alone should think about, and I am not in the mood to listen/read any kind of suggestion that "use" those things.

But if for some reason you do think there is another way, give me a comment or shoutout.

Meanwhile I know most of you do not know me deeply. I put this introduction at the last paragraph, as a sign of gratitude for your patience and willingness to read this post.

My name is Liu Nado. I am a student in Mechanical and Biosystem Agricultural Engineering department in IPB, Indonesia. I am 22 years old. Male, straight, combination of both Chinese and Lampungnese. Probably ugly, but probably I am smarter than the average human. 170cm tall, 70 kg weight. I am INTP-T, based on 16personalities.com

Thank you for reading my posts. I hope we can be friends. Even if not, if you know someone who are in these situations like mine, please. I beg you. Do not leave them alone. All they need is a place to share. A person to understand.

Oh yeah... I haven't tell you about the problems right? I don't want to make people bored with long wall of text, so I will write about it tomorrow/next time. In the next posts, I will explain to you the trigger of these unnecessary dramatic depression stuff. It might not be the biggest problem I got, but it is the one that push the correct button within me. A "self-destruction" button.

Of course, all of those cocky attitude of mine is just for a joke.

#curhat share depression

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a-panda-reads-act-omega · 7 years

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ACT OMEGA PART 11

THE 27/10/16 UPDATE

ABOUT DAMN TIME I GOT TO HERE AINT IT! Geez, I need to hurry up and get caught up to that new update so I have a good excuse for being lazy. ANyways, this should be the Calliope and Jane interaction. Also, am I the only one who thinks most people pronounce calliope weird? its always like, Call-e-ope-e or cal-i-ope, but I think it’s just Call-e-ope. I dunno, whatta you folks think?

blep

CALLIOPE: (oh!) CALLIOPE: (Um, hello again jane. ^u^)

Dammit she’s adorable.

JANE: (I’m sorry, am I interrupting anything?) JANE: (You seemed to be taking a pretty engrossed gander at that house door thing.) CALLIOPE: (oh no i was jUst admiring it. nothing important.) CALLIOPE: (although... i was doing a little thinking as well.) JANE: (Really? What about?) JANE: (If you don’t mind sharing, that is.) CALLIOPE: (not at all!) CALLIOPE: (well, the main sUbject of my thoUghts has jUst been shock for how i am even here for this moment.) CALLIOPE: (after it became clear that i was never meant to even play the game session i was a part of, despite my foolish hopes...) CALLIOPE: (i was certain that the Ultimate reward was forever oUtside my grasp.) CALLIOPE: (and yet, here i am!) CALLIOPE: (it almost feels like i’m cheating.) CALLIOPE: (i have hardly done anything deserving of any reward, let alone the Ultimate one. u-u;)

Aw, don’t be like that Calliope! You may not have played much of an active role in the story, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t 100% necessary! Honestly, where would the Alpha Kids be without you? I think you’ve earned this by enduring the bullshit you’re brother has put you through, and doing what was best for the completion of the game, and survival of your friends.

JANE: (That name really is a bit misleading, isn’t it?) JANE: (It seems so... grandiose.) JANE: (I’m not sure if I’m all that fond of it.) CALLIOPE: (really?) JANE: (Mhm.) JANE: (Especially considering, well...) JANE: (My behavior today hasn’t exactly been worthy of accolades either.) JANE: (In fact I think I may have done more harm than good for the majority of my session!) JANE: (Or maybe even further back than that!!) JANE: (I don’t mean to be insensitive when I say this, Callie, but...) JANE: (Throughout this entire mess, at least you have been innocent of any real wrongdoing.) JANE: (Which is more than can be said for me.)

AWGH, dont be like that JANE..... ALl these sad girls need to stop worrying about WORTH n shit. You all played your role dammit.

CALLIOPE: (oh...) CALLIOPE: (yoU’re referring to the things yoU mentioned in yoUr story?) JANE: (I killed my best friend.) JANE: (And out of such petty jealousy!) JANE: (I might be able to foist blame upon the Batterwitch, for manipulating me into hurting my friends.) JANE: (But she was only able to do that because they were already inclinations I had, deep down!) JANE: (Couldn’t I have resisted more?) JANE: (What does that say about me?)

JANEY

SHUt UR MOUTH

iT says youre a human with human emotions.

CALLIOPE: (but roxy is here! she’s fine!)

DAYum RIGHT roxy is fiiiiiine

CALLIOPE: (she may be a slightly different version of roxy than the one yoU knew, bUt certainly that is better than losing her forever, isn’t it?) CALLIOPE: (living in a world withoUt roxy in it...) CALLIOPE: (that woUld sUrely be a terrible fate!)

Yes it would. Because youUUU LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE HEEEEERRRR

JANE: (Oh certainly!) JANE: (You have no idea how relieved I am that despite my horrific deeds, I still have the people that matter most to me in my life.) JANE: (Including my dad!!) JANE: (I’ve missed him so much.) JANE: (I’m almost afraid to ask if he knows about what I did...) JANE: (And if not, would I ever be able to tell him?) JANE: (He’d be so ashamed of me.)

Pretty sure his only emotion is proud. BUT COME ON JANE, youre worrying about the wrong shit. these people, im tellin ya. they never wanna let go of the paST.

CALLIOPE: (jane, i am not very familiar with the concepts of fathers and families.) CALLIOPE: (these are very hUman things which, despite my preoccUpations, are still qUite foreign. u-u;) CALLIOPE: (bUt i think i may be learning slowly by seeing how all of yoU are immediately drawn to each other.) CALLIOPE: (and from what i have learned, i don’t think yoU need to worry, jane.) CALLIOPE: (we are all just glad that yoU are here, i am certain of it!) JANE: (... Thank you, Callie.) JANE: (The same goes for you, you know!) CALLIOPE: (oh yes! I really am qUite happy to be here and not dead!) CALLIOPE: (i jUst wish that i coUld have been a little more UsefUl...) CALLIOPE: (perhaps if i had managed to contribUte at least a little more, i woUld not feel qUite so oUt of place.) JANE: (It’s alright to feel a tad ill at ease.) JANE: (Nobody expects you to be immediately hunky dory with all of this buddy chummy hullabaloo.)

Hah. No comment, other than that I love this line. This interaction is sweet.

JANE: (In fact I’m certain not even all us humans are on the same page.) JANE: (So your discomfort, in a way, is a very good indication that you fit right in.)

no kidding. Is there anybody here who feels comfortable? Maybe Rose and Jade.

CALLIOPE: (thank yoU jane. that sentiment really means a lot. ^u^) CALLIOPE: (bUt i mUst admit that it is a little odd to think of myself in sUch a way.) CALLIOPE: (i have always been an oUtsider looking in. never trUly part of anything larger than myself.) CALLIOPE: (thinking aboUt parents and siblings, well.) CALLIOPE: (my only experience with anything of the sort was my brother.)

OH, that actually reminds me of the lil fucker. Where IS caliborn? he defeated his denizen and did a thing with the clock. SOoo, what’s his gameplan now?

JANE: (Oh, yeah. THAT jerk.) JANE: (Do you really need to think about him any more, Callie?) JANE: (I know I will be perfectly happy to never deal with him and his sordid affairs ever again!!) CALLIOPE: (it’s not a particUlarly happy thing to ponder, no.) CALLIOPE: (bUt nonetheless it’s what i have.) CALLIOPE: (and despite how awfUl it may have been, i think it warrants reflection.) CALLIOPE: (there is something aboUt oUr shared experience growing Up that makes me feel... connected to him, still.) CALLIOPE: (i wonder if maybe that connection is at all what family is like.)

I think that connection is what sharing a body for most of your life is like. Thouuugh... They hated each other, sure. But they probably relied on each other for everything as well. So perhaps that could build up a sort of familial attachment.

JANE: (I don’t really know, Calliope. I’m hardly an expert on the subject.) JANE: (But from what I understand, family is really quite a multifaceted thing.) JANE: (And the sort of connection you’re describing could certainly be part of it, I think.) JANE: (Some might say you cannot choose your family, and that they are an important part of who you are no matter what.) JANE: (For better or for worse.)

I mean, I agree with that to some extent. But really it depends on what kinda “family” you’re talking about. Blood, or bonds.

CALLIOPE: (hmmm...)

Ooh, that’s a pretty good panel. Also, his godtier makes me think....... It’s kinda funny how sburb identified calliope and caliborn as two seperate entities, giving them two different godtiers. would it have been like that even if neither have them had taken control?? Bluh, im sure it wont matter.

CALLIOPE: (that may be trUe.) CALLIOPE: (however...) CALLIOPE: (i do feel like whatever relationship we had was not trUly any sort of familial bond.) CALLIOPE: (at least not like anything i have seen thUs far in hUmans.) CALLIOPE: (we called each other siblings oUt of convenience, bUt in reality, we were competitors in a game larger than even that which spawns Universes.) CALLIOPE: (technically, i was the loser in the race to predominate and participate in oUr session.) CALLIOPE: (but in that yet larger game...) CALLIOPE: (which i think one might call the game of life.)

You mean...

obvious joke im sorry.

CALLIOPE: (it seems like i might be the winner.) CALLIOPE: (i think maybe, given that, i am beginning to Understand what my alternate self meant when she told me to "live"...) CALLIOPE: (becaUse we both know my brother well. and it seems there is no version of him that will ever be able to finish his childish games.) CALLIOPE: (he will stay the way he is forever, never able to move on and jUst live. never knowing that sUch a path, which he views with sUch disdain, is likely far more rewarding!)

Yeah, he doesn’t seem like one to settle down and have a good ol’ time relaxing with friends and family.

JANE: (Callie, that’s it!!)

CALLIOPE: (hUh??)

JANE: (That’s why it’s called the ultimate reward!) JANE: (We don’t have to play this drab old game anymore.) JANE: (This is our ticket to move on to the much bigger adventure awaiting us.) JANE: (Letting go of the past and learning from it...) JANE: (Puzzling out what it means to have a family.) JANE: (All of that. Living life to the fullest.) JANE: (That’s the ultimate reward!)

You know, that does seem likely. THAT’S probably definitely it. I mean, it’s fitting. the whole GOAL is to get out of this fucking game and live a new life mature in your new universe.

CALLIOPE: (i think yoU’re right, jane!) CALLIOPE: (we jUst stUmbled Upon that realization qUite accidentally, didn’t we?) JANE: (Actually, Callie. I think it might be because you are just that clever and insightful.) CALLIOPE: (oh, shUcks... u^u;) JANE: (You are definitely a winner in my book. And I’m glad you might be a winner in yours, too.) CALLIOPE: (i am certainly getting there.) CALLIOPE: (maybe someday soon i will be able to more fUlly come to terms with all this.) CALLIOPE: (bUt... there’s no rUsh, right?) CALLIOPE: (so long as we are looking forward, instead of back.) JANE: (That’s the ticket!) JANE: (Cheers, to winning!) CALLIOPE: (to winning! ^u^)

Daw, you two. Well, it seems like they had a positive resolution! They’ve discovered what the ultimate reward is! And Callies gona get all good at accepting herself as a big WINNER. HOOray! Im guessing they’ll be moving onto the next pair now, which should be Karkat and Dave.

Yup, character select screen. TO THE DAVEKAT GAYS!

Karkat’s anxious, Dave’s like come on man we fuckin won dont be anxious.

DAVE: (dude) DAVE: (relax)

KNew it.

DAVE: (i can practically hear you thinking yourself into another shitfit) DAVE: (john looks about ready to twist the shit out of that magic doorknob) DAVE: (i thought youd be relieved or something) KARKAT: (I CAN’T HELP IT.) KARKAT: (I’M NERVOUS, OK?) KARKAT: (LAST TIME I WAS IN THIS POSITION, IT DIDN’T TURN OUT SO WELL.)

OH what could you mean by that? it wasnt so bad. A devil dog appeared slaughtered the fuck out of a door, traveled across your world and destroyed your planets, then murdered all of your dream selves.

KARKAT: (AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL LIKE WE’RE FORGETTING SOMETHING IMPORTANT.) KARKAT: (MAYBE SEVERAL SOMETHINGS.) KARKAT: (LIKE...) KARKAT: (WHERE THE FUCK IS GAMZEE?) KARKAT: (VRISKA JUST SHOVED HIM IN THAT HUNGER TRUNK WHEN SHE REALIZED WE WERE ABOUT TO SHOW UP, AND THEN KEPT HIM THERE SO HE WOULDN’T "CAUSE TROUBLE”.) KARKAT: (BUT I GUESS HE JUST WENT ON AN INTERPLANETARY ADVENTURE! WHERE COULD HE BE? HAS HE BROKEN OUT YET? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!)

NOpe, he’s still very much trapped in the fridge.

DAVE: (yeah that is uh) DAVE: (actually kind of concerning) KARKAT: (YOU THINK?!) KARKAT: (AND WHAT ABOUT THE MAYOR? AND THE SPRITES, WHERE DID THEY FUCK OFF TO?) DAVE: (look man well figure it out alright) DAVE: (were not just gonna up and leave without everyone accounted for) DAVE: (like seriously how could we ever abandon the mayor) DAVE: (were going back for him thats not even up for debate) KARKAT: (THANK GOD AT LEAST SOMEONE AROUND HERE HAS THEIR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT.)

FInally, some people who are worrying about the RIGHT things. I mean, jeeez. all these people worrying about their pasts and worth, when they need to be prepared to face a more dangerous threat if one comes. ANYWAys

Thats all for this update. Hope my content was enough to satisfy you... 8 followers?? Jeez. Boy am i POPUlAR.

Seriously though, I dont know if its just because im starting out, but every follower is feeling like a big deal. Sooo... thanks to you who are following me.

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act omega #act omega liveblog #hs act omega #hs act omega liveblog

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