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mrs-weasley-reid · 1 month

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Tricky Blunder

Spencer Reid x bau!reader | part 2

part 1

Summary: Mistakes always reveal what the heart really craves. And Spencer wasn't an exception as he desperately makes things right with you.

Warning: a sprinkle of angst and a cup of fluff

A/N: had two drafts, but this made the most sense in my head.

not my gif ctto :)

— ✿ — ✿— ✿ ✿ ✿

You gave Spencer a curt nod, "Hey."

Spencer's chest tinged at the sight of your smile. The kind of smile that gave him the impression that you two were absolutely fine and back to normal.

Hotch invited you to assist on the case that's been keeping the entire BAU team stressed out for the past three days. He thought you'd be a great help in increasing the team's morale and, of course, on the case.

Spencer took your arrival as a good sign. It has only been a month since you left the BAU. Maybe you'd change your mind and come back to the team. Besides, you wouldn't have joined them if you were still mad at him, right?

He thought he was getting ahead of himself. He knew he was getting ahead of himself. Taking the tiniest detail of your simple nod and civil smile into a desperate hope.

Your last exchange has been eating Spencer alive. The fallout repeatedly played out inside his head over and over in hopes that he could change the ending. He couldn't. Even an average person knew that they could never change what's been done.

You, on the other hand, did not dwell on your interaction with Spencer. In fact, as soon as you gave him some sort of acknowledgment, you immediately jumped in on a conversation with Emily. You were only being polite. It was in your nature.

If you were given the chance to boast, you would've said Hotch was almost begging you to help with the case. But you kept the idea to yourself and arrived with fresh sets of eyes. After all, the case specifically needed your specialty: human trafficking and victimology.

And fresh sets of eyes, you did bring.

While the others were occupied giving you a warm welcome, an arm suddenly wrapped around your shoulders, taking everyone by surprise, Spencer the most.

"I barely found parking," A man said to you in almost a whisper but loud enough for everyone to hear and gawk about.

Your eyebrows narrowed, "You're an FBI agent. How hard could it be to show your badge and get a spot?" You queried, forgetting about an entire team right in front of you.

The man grinned, "I wanted to prove I could find a spot without my toy." He spoke with you with such ease, as if you've known each other for years.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. If you only weren't in public, you would've smacked your forehead from the utter disbelief you felt. That's when you remembered that it wasn't just the two of you.

"Oh, shoot! I mean…" You gestured at the man next to you, "Guys, meet Agent Ezekiel." You went on to briefly explain that you offered Hotch another pair of hands to help with the case, thus the agent's appearance.

Although you were clear about Ezekiel's purpose, everyone couldn't help but take note of his arm around you. The only man they saw wrap their arm around your shoulders was Emily during an undercover operation, where she pretended to be a guy.

Spencer was not a fan.

"And Zeke, meet the behavioral analysis unit. Agents Hotchner, Rossi, Jareau, Prentiss, Morgan, and… Dr. Reid." You introduced them accordingly, paying attention to each one of the agents.

"Mr. Genius! Nice to finally meet you! I've heard so much about you." Ezekiel exclaimed, stretching a hand out to Spencer.

Spencer stared at the hand in front of him, "Clearly not enough." He lifted his hands out of his back pockets only to transfer them to the front pockets. "And it's Dr. Reid."

He couldn't help but shift his focus between you and the obnoxious arm on your shoulders. He wasn't exactly certain why he was feeling that way. He guessed it had something to do with the fact that he didn't get the chance to speak with you.

Ezekiel looked at his hand and retracted it with a shrug. He leaned against you, "You said he was fun." His face was of pure confusion.

You lightly shoved his face away from you, removing his arm on your shoulders in the process. "I promise, he's more helpful than he looks." You had the mistake of looking at Spencer as you spoke with a playful smile, immediately diverting your gaze to anyone else but him.

The reflexive habit was still present. You always had a knack for aiming for Spencer's approval of your humor. After years of trying to make him laugh in spite of feeling depressed about Maeve, adjusting your humor to align with his became second nature.

Spencer found himself smiling a bit at the millisecond of attention you gave him. He missed it. He missed you.

If the universe was giving him a sign, you standing in front of him was one big slap of a sign. This was his chance to make things right with you.

He'd do anything to make it up to you.

His first attempt was to join any conversation you had with anyone on the team. He tried. He really tried to get your attention, but somehow, before he could even breathe a word out, Ezekiel pops out of nowhere and takes up all your attention.

"Why can't you do it yourself?" You groaned yet stood up from your seat. Spencer wished you didn't.

Ezekiel ruffled your hair, "Less complaining, more doing. You lost the bet, remember?" He laughed, leaning against his seat.

Derek swore he saw Spencer's eye twitch inside out after seeing Ezekiel ruffle your hair.

You stomped out of the conference room, mumbling, "Stupid bet," under your throat.

"You would've beaten Morgan up if he asked you the same thing."

You jumped out of shock, spilling a bit of the hot water on the counter. Spencer followed you out, standing awkwardly next to you. You silently wiped the water off the counter and quickly stirred the cup.

With one last tap of the spoon on the edge of the cup, you turned to Spencer, "Just be glad it wasn't you." You deadpanned, walking away without giving him the chance to say a word.

First attempt: failed.

You clearly weren't in the mood to speak with him, especially when you hadn't gotten your usual coffee. You hated precinct coffee to the bone. Thus, you tortured yourself from lack of caffeine and exhaustion.

This sparked Spencer's second attempt to gain your friendship back: offer you coffee. Your coffee order has been in the back of his mind for the past month. It turns out he liked your odd coffee concoction after finding himself with two cups of coffee every morning the first two weeks you were gone.

The first two days were purely out of habit. The rest were out of the delusion that you'd be sitting on your old desk when he gets in the office.

So, he could only imagine the dejection when you arrived the next morning with an unfamiliar coffee order and bright laughter as you told Ezekiel how his coffee order had changed your life for the better.

Spencer constantly expressed his disapproval. Of course, you weren't happy about it. What was worse was you didn't know why. And worse than that, he couldn't figure out why.

Or so he thought.

As soon as he found an opening, Spencer pulled you into the side. He brought the two of you into an empty interrogation room.

"What are you doing?" You snatched your arm from his grip. You weren't stupid. You noticed Spencer's fixation for your attention. You did your best to be civil, but he was making it very difficult for you.

"You've barely been in the ViCAP unit, and you're already smitten with your superior. I think it's safe to say it does not look good on you. You don't even know whether he's a decent guy." Spencer gulped. He knew exactly how stupid he sounded.

You blinked loudly and chuckled, "So?"

Spencer straightened his back and averted his eyes away from yours, "So… I suggest you…" He trailed off. He didn't plan this far. He should've planned farther than this. It wasn't exactly very clever of him, and your glare made him dumb.

"Suggest me what?" You crossed your arms on your chest. When Spencer didn't speak for fifteen seconds, you continued, "You have no right to tell me what looks good for me. Or anything about me. You made that pretty clear, Reid. Stick with it."

You purposely bumped into his shoulder on your way out, leaving him dumbfounded and dry-mouthed.

His chest felt tight as if a hand was clenching it into the tiniest crumple of paper. He closed his eyes in agony as he whispered, "Damn it," running his fingers through his hair.

With the 187 IQ he's been bragging about, he couldn't imagine his own disappointment when he failed to realize his feelings for you.

You have been nothing but kind to him. When he was grieving, you were the only one he wanted to confide in. You were the only one who could make him smile. The only one who could make him laugh with an average humor. The one that made painful things less miserable.

And without him knowing, he fell for your kind smiles and warm company.

He became addicted to you.

Spencer did his best to avoid it, but he couldn't help himself. How could someone not fall for someone amazing like you? Clearly not him.

Your friendship felt more important to him, though. It always was. It was too important that he spent his time finding a fix for his infatuation. Shoving his growing feelings for you as if it were a crime.

But you just couldn't let him not fall for you. You didn't even try. You were just you, and he was just one of your willing victims. It was inevitable.

The deeper he fell for you, the more he wanted not to.

He was a weakling, a stupid coward, and irrevocably in love with you.

So, was he disappointed that you fell for the genius prodigy? Or was he disappointed that he never realized how deep he'd fallen for you until you left?

The next day was Spencer's worst nightmare.

You were at gunpoint.

Close and yet so far.

"Come any closer, and I'll shoot her!" The unsub shouted, holding you by the neck with his arm wrapped around it.

Spencer felt his hands clammy. You were too close to the unsub for him to find an opening. Backup was still a few minutes away. He didn't know what to do.

He took a deep breath, "No one needs to get hurt. Just let her go, and we can talk this out." He kept his gun pointed at the unsub.

He made sure you knew that. He never wanted you to think that he'd ever point a gun at you, even if you weren't already.

The unsub's grip tightened around your neck, and you could barely manage to let out a gasp. Tears began to spill from your eyes as air dissipated from your lungs. Your consciousness was hanging by a thread.

"Shut the hell up!" The unsub shifted the tip of his gun towards Spencer. He glanced at you and at Spencer's pleading face. He laughed, "If you let me go, I'll make sure someone rich buys her. You don't have to worry. I'll make sure they treat her well."

"Don't!" You choked, "Don't listen to him, Spence!" You were stammering, almost unable to form words.

Hearing you call him by his first name for the first time in a while gave Spencer a concussion. A string of déjà vu coursed through his body. Spencer was more terrified than he already was. He couldn't lose you again. He couldn't go through it again.

You could see it in his eyes. You knew that look from miles away. You've seen the same look etched in the deepest vault in your mind. The only thing was, you never imagined that you'd ever be the reason for it.

And just as you always have… you chose him.

You focused on his brown eyes. You took a deep breath and met Spencer's gaze, "Take the blunder."

His eyes widened. He felt his heart quicken. Spencer vigorously shook his head, tightening his grip on his gun.

After spending time together in his gloomy apartment, you and Spencer found enjoyment in playing chess. A few phrases stuck to heart, inside jokes that filled both of you with mindless giggles.

What used to be a funny term turned into something Spencer feared the most at that moment.

You were asking him to shoot you.

"No! I won't do that!" Spencer shouted, shaking his head to the point of dizziness. There must be another way. He needed to find another way to save you.

"What the fuck are you two talking about?!" The unsub pointed the gun back at your temple. This time, he made sure you felt the cold metal on your skin.

Both you and Spencer knew that the unsub was too far gone to be reasonable. Your plan was the only plan that'd work. He had to shoot you and let the bullet through to hit the unsub down. Of course, it wasn't a perfect one.

But it'd save many lives and his, and you were content with that idea alone. Except Spencer wasn't.

You closed your eyes, "Spencer, do it!" You begged, suffocating. "Take the fucking blunder! Now!"

Spencer didn't notice his watery eyes, fixing his vision solely on you. His hands were shaking. His body was ice cold. He could hear you and your fading breath. He aimed his gun at your shoulder, steadying his stance.

A bright flash and two loud strikes prompted you and the unsub to fall to the floor.

Hotch came into view across Spencer, pointing his gun to where the unsub used to chokehold you.

Spencer flew to your side, taking you in his arms as sobs spilled out of his lips. "No, no, no, no. Not again, no. Please, no." He brushed the hair off your face, holding your cheek.

A chuckle curved the ends of your lips, "You're a horrible shot." Your eyes were still closed as you felt a small sting on your shoulder grow as it bled out.

His breath hitched. Spencer chuckled a cry as he pulled you into a hug. It was so tight and yet gentle enough to let you catch your breath. "I thought I was going to lose you," He whispered. You never thought Spencer would ever hug you tighter than he already was. "I didn't— I don't want to lose you."

Soon, Spencer had to let you go as the paramedics came to your aid. They dragged you out where everyone waited in anticipation.

Ezekiel was the first to run to you, "You alright?" He replaced Spencer's spot on your side.

"I'll live," you shrugged, regretting it immediately as you felt a painful shock travel from your shoulder. You cursed under your breath.

"Stop moving, dumbass." Ezekiel scolded, turning to the paramedics and asking them if there was any way he could help.

Spencer felt empty at the sight. His heart shattered at the sight of someone else taking care of you. But compared to Ezekiel, he had no chance. And it broke Spencer even more.

But that didn't mean he couldn't try to befriend you.

So he chose friendship. He always did, after all.

He visited you the next morning, the first one to arrive as soon as visiting hours began.

"Hey," Spencer flashed a thin smile.

You placed the book you were reading down on your lap, returning his smile, "Hey."

This time, Spencer knew you weren't just being polite. It made his heart swell from relief. He still had a chance to make things right.

He walked inside the room, placing a small bouquet of white daisies on the bedside table. Spencer pointed at your book, "I have a book just like that." He started, attempting to make casual conversation.

"It's actually yours," You flipped the pages, revealing thousands of annotations. You only knew one person who did that. "It was my favorite. I couldn't let it go…" You gently wiped the cover.

George Orwell's 1984 novel was the first book Spencer ever lent you. As you packed your stuff from your old desk, you couldn't help but pick up one book to keep.

Spencer looked around, "Where's Agent Ezekiel?" He wondered out loud. Maybe too loud. The name rolled off his tongue with subtle disgust. He felt conflicted about the guy's absence from your side but was also relieved that he got to have you to himself.

"He's talking to my aunt," You replied nonchalantly, refraining yourself from shrugging.

His eyebrows furrowed, "Your aunt? Don't you mean your mom?"

You shook your head, looking at him oddly. "Last I heard, Zeke's my cousin, not my brother."

Spencer's eyebrows lifted over his forehead, "Ah, right. Yeah, that'd be weird…" He gave his best to sound casual while he internally screamed in his head. If only he could do a somersault without breaking every bone in his body and looking stupid, he would.

"Imagine the horror," You scoffed, bringing the book up to continue reading.

He watched you silently for a moment. He never knew why he thought a friend was all he was ever going to see you as. It must be the stupidest idea he's ever had.

Spencer bit his lower lip, his hands clenched on the side of your bed, "I—" He bit his tongue, unsure how to continue or how to start.

You turned to him with raised eyebrows, "Hmm? D'you say something?" You closed the book, giving him all the attention he has been dying to get for the past week.

"I—uh…" He swallowed the lump in his throat, "I know it's way too late to say this, but," Spencer wet his lips and met your gaze, "I'm sorry for being a jerk and—"

"It's okay, Spence," You smiled, cutting him off. "I did throw my feelings at you out of nowhere, so I kind of understand—"

Spencer cut you off, "Still doesn't it make it right for me to be an asshole. It's not like you—"

You shook your head, "But I was being unreasonable. I had no right to stop you from—"

It was like a game. Both of you kept cutting each other off like an indecisive scale.

Spencer couldn't take it anymore and grabbed your face, giving you a quick, soft kiss on your lips. "Just shut up for a second…" His breath fanned on your face, "Please…" He rested his forehead on yours and began to speak as soon as he felt you nod. "I'm sorry for being a jerk. I'm sorry for reacting like a coward. And I'm sorry for being stupid." He spoke in a rush as if he knew you'd talk over him as soon as you had the chance to.

"I'm sorry I said I was disappointed in you. I made a blunder…" You laughed at his joke. "I thought if I turned you down, I'd never have to worry about losing you. I was obviously wrong." He playfully rolled his eyes, only widening your grin. "I was falling for you, and I chickened out—"

You felt giddy. You couldn't stop the grin on your face. Your eyes couldn't help but stare at his lips. You did your best to listen to his sweet words, but damn were you easily distracted by him.

Apologies after apologies, sweet words after sappy sentiments. You grew too impatient. He was talking too much.

"Spencer, just say you love me and kiss me," You interjected, pulling his shirt to get him closer.

He laughed softly. A sound that made your heart skip a beat. He caressed your cheek with his thumb, tilting your head higher.

"I love you… I'm in love with you."

Spencer felt so good to finally admit it: to you and to himself. He pulled you in once more and kissed you again, longer this time.

He couldn't get enough of it, enough of you. He only pulled away when a nurse came in to check on you, blushing like a red beet.

Not a second after, his phone rang. The team was looking for him and wondering where he was, emphasizing the fact that they were to fly in forty minutes.

Spencer went back into the room, low-spirited. He didn't want to leave you just yet. You had barely forgiven him, and he barely knocked some sense into his stubborn head. He wanted to stay and make up for the month he'd missed.

But duty calls, so he sat silently as the jet took off the runway, fiddling with the loose string on his cuff. A snapping sound pulled him out of his trance.

"Reid," Derek called out as he sat on the left seat across Spencer. "How'd it go?" Derek queried.

"How'd what go?" Spencer's eyebrows raised. What could Derek possibly mean?

Derek looked at him as if Spencer was crazy, "You said you'd go to the hospital to get your migraine checked out. Is everything alright?"

JJ heard their conversation, turning on her seat, "Didn't you get checked out last week? Is it getting worse?" She worriedly asked, joining the discussion.

Spencer's ears turned pink as he quickly glanced at JJ, "Y-yeah... I mean, no. I'm fine." He stuttered, clearing his throat.

Emily squinted at the boy genius' stutter. She wasn't as smart as him, but she knew him well enough to know when he was lying. "Which hospital did you go to?" She raised her eyebrows.

"The... one on..." Spencer wasn't prepared to take the hot seat. His mind was still clouded by the thought of you. It was like he was under the influence, unable to get his head straight.

"The one where she's staying?" Emily prompted.

"Yeah, the one where she's staying—wait who?" Spencer was taken aback.

Emily grinned, catching a glimpse of a purple hue on Spencer's skin hiding behind his collar. "I think he's fine," She told JJ and Derek. He looked at Spencer, "You're fine, right?"

Spencer hesitantly nodded his head.

Derek's eyebrows knitted, "What are you on about?" He turned to Emily, who was sitting next to him.

"When you're stressed out, what do you usually do?" Emily raised her hand before letting Derek answer, "With Savannah." She smirked.

"Damn, Prentiss. I didn't know you were that curious about my sex life." Derek replied sarcastically.

"No," Emily smacked her forehead. She decided not to explain herself any further. She looked at the genius across him, "So, how is she?" When Spencer gave her a confused look, she rolled her eyes, "Oh, please. Stop acting like you didn't just make out with her."

Spencer looked down and giggled silently. Busted. It was your fault, really. Before he left, you made sure to turn his frown upside down and did it so well that his mind was malfunctioning from the memory of your lips, leaving marks on his chest.

"She's fine. The doctor said she'd be able to fly home in a few days." Spencer replied giddily.

Emily smirked, "Yeah, I bet she's fine, alright." She pointed at Spencer's tie, enough hint for Derek and JJ to catch up in the conversation.

"My man," Derek's grinned.

JJ's eyes widened, and her mouth was slightly agape. "So, are you two made up?"

Spencer nodded, "Yeah... just a tricky blunder."

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #ssa spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid series #spencer reid x reader #criminalminds #criminal minds #spencer reid angst

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forthegothicheroine · 5 days

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Do you have any thoughts about how to do fascism in Arthuriana? Like partially inspired by T.H. White I was thinking of writing Lucius as a sort of combination of a 30s Dictator and the crusading ideal that you get in Medieval literature, which of course looks quite repugnant by today's standards.

I've been turning this over in my head for a few days as it's a very interesting question! To start, let me talk about two versions that did it to different ends.

As you mentioned, in The Once and Future King, Mordred becomes a Hitler (or British fascist) analogue, and predicates his rise to power on persecuting Jews and Moors. I wasn't sure how I felt about this at first, but after thinking it over, I realized that World War II was the defining trauma of White's generation, and if he's going to write about a political faction destroying Britain and plunging it into apocalyptic war, how could they not be fascists? (Plus I got a fanfic out of it.)

On the other hand, in the 2004 King Arthur movie, which I actually overall enjoyed, they made Cerdic the Saxon their fascist villain. He orders all the Celtic women killed so that his men won't breed with them and produce more of their disgusting race...which, if you know anything about the Saxon invasion, is more or less the opposite of how it went. It's like a darker version of the 'tightlacing into dresses without waists' scene in Bridgerton- I'm not a stickler for historical accuracy, but I need it to at least make sense in the world that's being presented to me on screen.

So, what's the deal with fascism? I'll let Umberto Eco give the greater picture, but when I think of fascist villains, I think of three things- an "us" who is great, a "them" who are simultaneously weak and strong, and a mythic "good old days" that never really existed. Given that Arthuriana is a mishmash of time periods and ethnic groups as it is, you have a lot to choose from, both in terms of making it make sense in universe, and in terms of it feeling resonant to a 21st century reader.

If Lucius is your villain (a good choice, I think, he's not used as much as he could be) then you're positioning the "us" as either Rome or Italy. I say "either" because Malory et al had him as an anachronistic Roman emperor, but the Squires Tales series made the interesting choice of him being an Italian prince styling himself the modern Caesar. I'm not Italian, but I think this is something that politicians from Mussolini to Berlusconi have tried to position themselves as to some extent, so I think there's room to explore there.

If "us" is Rome, then "them" must be wherever they're trying to conquer. If you've ever played Fallout New Vegas, the Cosplay Roman Fascists there have "The West" as their enemy, with speeches about how they're doing a great job unifying all the disparate tribes but are hindered by the "degenerates" of the NCR and New Vegas. There are certainly tribes to go around in the British isles, any of which could be your "them" or your "future us, once then kneel." The good old days were the height of the Empire, of course, and depending on whether your Lucius is a Catholic or a Roman pagan, he can call upon a huge history of grandiose mythology to support himself.

If Mordred is your villain, then both his mythic past and his "us" could harken back to the glory days of King Uther, back when the Britons were strong against the Saxons and kings were revered for their might, not their codes of honor. The song Fie on Goodness in Camelot is dark comedy because nobody really talks like that about themselves- but they could voice the same sentiments in different language. "Them" could be Jews and Moors as in T. H. White, but you can pick any influence from the Picts to the Gauls as the simultaneously weak and strong enemy who turned Arthur into a man too soft to lead.

"Uther was a barbarian because he stole another man's wife," Mordred might say, "but Arthur claims to be civilized because he gives his away!"

And then there's that old medieval standbye- the crusades. Just what the hell time period Arthuriana takes place in changes with the writer, but having your villain either outright be a Crusader King or modeling him on one would give you a chilling model to work with. Slaughter and pillage all who get in your way, and you can justify it with ideology. Send every available one of your own men and boys to their deaths and you can do the same. And if the war never ends, so much the better, as your wartime powers never go away.

Thank you for this question, and I'll be very eager to see what you come up with!

#arthurian legend #fascism

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lady-byleth · 1 year

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So I've been replaying Hades for the past couple of days and I've started thinking about the concept of half gods because of Achilles and I have realized that while tragic heroes fucked over by fate are great we also need to explore how fucking weird a half god would probably be to have around

Cuz like, gods are probably very very different to us humans and their blood would run fairly strong within their half mortal offspring and there's a lot of room to play around with how that manifests. Plus, we all know that the gods are very volatile and can go through the entire spectrum of emotions within like 10 seconds so that's fun too

Like, imagine you're Peleus, king of Phthia. Your son is two years old now, he looks like he's at least five. Yesterday he debated your advisors on politics and made them run from the room crying. Last week he wrote his second full length comedy. Afterwards he threw a tantrum cuz he couldn't reach the higher shelves in the library that probably traumatized the entire staff before he charmed them into fawning over him again. Thetis says this is normal.

You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and you adore your now ten year old son but you're also very out of your depth. You can't let him play with kids his age cuz human age works differently than his and they're just too young, but you also can't put him together with people on his intellectual level cuz you don't want to deal with the fallout of when someone inevitably annoys him too much. There's still a few broken chairs from last time lying around. That boy won't sit still for 10 seconds, the mortal world is too boring and slow for him. You're still trying to find the combat instructor he scared away two weeks ago. Thetis says this is also normal.

You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and your old Argonaut buddy Menoetius just showed up with his son, asking for help. Your own son is now twelve years old and definitely almost fully grown. Last week he reorganized the entire library out of boredom and then put it back to how it was again. No one wants to spar with him anymore, he's going to snap soon. But here's Menoetius with his son Patroclus who seems to have a good head on his shoulders, recent accident notwithstanding. You can't just take in someone wanted for murder without good reasons...but Achilles is going to claw his way through the walls at this rate. He refused being a suitor for Helen recently, lectured you on outdated marriage practices for two hours and then went to visit his mother for a month. You can't handle him, no matter how much you love him. But Patroclus gives off the impression that he could. You can work with this.

You're Peleus, king of Phthia, and your son is now sixteen and no longer growing. He's also found someone who can keep up with his energy with fond understanding and a calming hand where necessary. You're pretty proud of yourself for making Patroclus do this cuz it's not just anger, boredom and energy that Achilles has to divine levels. If you didn't know better you'd think Patroclus was the half god the way your son seems to worship the ground he walks on. He is a good influence on your son, one could almost be fooled into thinking he's just a normal human when they're together. You've never seen Achilles smile that much.

Maybe now Phthia will know some peace...

#Achilles #Patroclus #patrochilles #greek mythology #half gods #Idk how to tag this #just for fun

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storkmuffin · 2 months

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VOGUE US March 2024

On His Terms

by Sarah Crompton

With his red cap pulled down over horn-rimmed glasses, Tobias Menzies walks into a London hotel with the wariness of a man who might just be recognized. It's his face that would catch him out, those deep lines running from eyes to chin. "He had those even as a young man," says his friend the theater director Rupert Goold. "It's like someone has taken a knife and carved them. And I feel those lines run deep inside him as well. He's grown into his face like a lot of actors do."

Menzies's smile is warm and his handshake firm, and though he lives not far from here in north London's Crouch End, he is dressed more as a country dweller than a man-about-town, in jeans and blue gilet zipped over a soft mustard-and-red-checked shirt. Only his Grenson trainers, white and red and with flashes of the same yellow, suggest he might belong to an artier milieu.

"I don't get recognized on any intrusive level, but it's not a part of [the job] that I love," he admits as we settle down to talk. "I like to watch people—I don't like them to watch me." I've asked him about the experience he's having at 49—that of a talent stepping into his prime. Blame it on The Crown, in which he played the second incarnation of Prince Philip across two seasons (a role that won him an Emmy), and last year's wry, acclaimed comedy You Hurt My Feelings, in which he starred opposite Julia Louis-Dreyfus ("He's one of the most warm and present actors I've worked with," says its director, Nicole Holofcener). And now, he's appearing in two leading-man roles, as Edwin Stanton, Abraham Lincoln's secretary of war, in Apple TV+'s series Manhunt in March, and he's currently onstage in The Hunt, an adaptation of the 2012 Thomas Vinterberg film directed by Goold, playing at St. Ann's Warehouse in Brooklyn five years after its London premiere.

"I've got to be honest, I really liked it," Menzies says of the status he enjoyed in Manhunt. "Being in the engine room of it and part of the storytelling decisions." The series is part thriller and part history lesson, set over the 12 days following Lincoln's assassination in 1865 as Stanton attempts to track down the president's killer, John Wilkes Booth (it's based on historian James L. Swanson's 2006 bestseller). Episodes skip forward and backward, tracing the story of a tumultuous time and the ideological schisms that caused the Civil War and continued long after it. Stanton, a brilliant lawyer and strategist, is at the center of everything, clashing with Lincoln's successor, President Andrew Johnson, as he attempts to preserve the late president's legacy.

As gripping as any detective story, Manhunt addresses painful facts of America's past: "The implications of losing Lincoln and what that meant for African American people," says showrunner Monica Beletsky, who spent four years developing the project and who has followed Menzies's career since they overlapped as students at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA) in London (she on a stint studying there from the US). "You could argue in a way that the Confederates won the peace," Menzies points out. "What is important about Monica making the show is that she is a person of color, and arguably the big fallout from Lincoln's assassination was that Reconstruction was lost until 100 years later and the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. Voting rights, land rights—they didn't happen. A lot of the things that African Americans have been fighting so hard for, for so long, were on Stanton's agenda."

Menzies studied carefully for the role ("He prepares months in advance," says Beletsky), working to find Stanton's voice and make his accent seem effortless, but also reading widely about the Civil War and its aftermath. Doris Kearns Goodwin's classic history Team of Rivals was a particularly rich source: "It takes you into this very disparate group Lincoln collected around him," Menzies says. "There was such a diversity of opinion and a lot of antagonism, but that was part of the power of it." Menzies also studied Gregory Peck's towering performance as Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird. "I was thinking of those archetypes that American literature and film are full of," he says. "Because it's such a whirlwind story with so many different characters floating through it—so you need a moral compass."

The key to the character became a combination of "stoicism and radicalism," Menzies says—and as an actor, he's exceptionally good at playing men who are fighting such opposing impulses, with strong currents of feeling running beneath an impassive surface. "He is one of those rare actors who does a lot with silence," Beletsky says. "He makes you believe you can feel what he is thinking, and he can do those things without saying a word."

Goold, who has directed Menzies many times onstage—including as Hamlet, as Valentine in Tom Stoppard's Arcadia, and as Edgar in King Lear—thinks this quality has become stronger as Menzies has grown older. "He's got this wonderful physical expressiveness, but there's a slightly remote quality to him, I suppose," Goold says. "The quality I find really compelling in him is his committed curiosity. It's quite rare, especially for British actors, to keep their craft developing, to become more rigorous and investigative, and I think Tobias is an outlier on that."

Menzies is attracted to roles that conceal depths. "There is a certain magic about that. Part of the maths is that there is more on the inside than on the outside"

Their most recent collaboration is The Hunt, a haunting story in which a small-town teacher becomes ostracized when a six-year-old child accuses him of abuse. Menzies will be reprising his devastatingly observed performance from the play's 2019 London premiere. "When we put it on, we felt it to be about false accusations and the way that cancel culture was creating pariahs," says Goold. "But it is as much about someone who is shut out from their community because they choose to live apart. There is part of Tobias that is like that."

Menzies acknowledges that he is attracted to roles that conceal depths. "It's partly a taste thing," he says. "I like the kind of acting where I can't see the performance, I can't see how it is happening. There is a certain magic about that. Part of the maths is that there is more on the inside than on the outside, there's a kind of mystery there."

Menzies was born in London, his father a radio producer for the BBC, but after his parents separated when he was six, he lived with his mother, a drama teacher, and his brother in Kent. On their regular cultural outings, he was inspired by contemporary dance and the experimental theater companies he saw: Pina Bausch, Complicité, Shared Experience, Cheek by Jowl. "I was interested in companies that were making their own work," he says, "and I tried to go to train with [the radical movement coach] Jacques Lecoq in Paris; but I didn't have the money for that, so I went to RADA."

He never dreamed of being a famous actor. "My obsession as a kid was tennis," he says, with a grin. He was good enough to be on the fringes of the team for the county of Kent but gave it up when he realized he would never be truly first-class. He stopped playing for a long time. "Periodically I would pick up a racket and try to play a bit, and my game had completely fallen apart and it made me so angry. It was so frustrating. A few years ago I thought, Let's start again, do my 10,000 hours, and let's fix it." He approached the task with "monomaniacal" intent, working for a year on his forehand, and a year on his backhand, then adding his serve. Now he plays three times a week at a local tennis club, either with a coach or taking on other members in clay court matches. "I'm pretty obsessive about it," he says. "I just find it fascinating. It is such a mental game—a very interesting microcosm of one's brain."

His hero is Novak Djokovic. "He has less natural flair than Nadal or Federer but there is an epic quality to his tennis. He is able to endure and suffer, and so he can do it all in some way. There is a sort of purity to what he is doing. I think only if you have struggled with tennis do you realize that even though it looks plain, what's going on, the footwork, the ability to get to that ball and then hit it—it's just rather remarkable."

Menzies admits that his attitude to life mirrors his tennis. "I am probably on the methodical end of things, yeah," he says, with another low laugh. I ask about his film roles, which have been getting bigger and richer of late. He loved filming in New York with Holofcener on You Hurt My Feelings—"It was definitely bucket list"—and is currently appearing alongside Brad Pitt in the as-yet-untitled Formula 1 drama directed by Joseph Kosinski, which is filming scenes at Grand Prix around the world.

Before the actors' strike interrupted production, they had shot two scenes at Silverstone in the UK. "It was bonkers because we are in amongst everything else. So we did this scene on the grid before the race and the grid is live: real drivers, real cars, celebrities wandering around." He pauses, then adds: "It was like theater on steroids—really, really fun." He has nothing but praise for Pitt—"a lovely, lovely person, very collaborative, very nice to act with, and supersmart"—but working with him brought Menzies face-to-face with a level of fame that he doesn't aspire to. "How does he go out? It is very constraining to have that level of visibility."

Partly from a desire to preserve his anonymity as much as he can, Menzies took an early decision never to talk about his private life. "Is that old-fashioned of me?" he asks. "I'm going to stick to my guns. It's partly natural shyness on my part. But to be a bit more grandiose about it, the idea of celebrity moving into the arts and acting does have an effect on how we watch."

Through it all Menzies is genial and engaged, asking a lot of questions, yet there is something formal about him too. This is someone who is deeply serious about acting, pursuing projects that interest him and then immersing himself in them. I ask if being able to choose work of quality and interest is part of this new level of success, and Menzies says that it has come at a good time. "The question for me would have been whether as a younger person I would have handled it very well," he tells me. "I just think at some base level, it has taken me time to get really good." He laughs gently. "If I'd had a lot of exposure early on, I don't think I'd have been ready. I know I am a lot better now than I was 10 years ago. Acting keeps you very humble because you never quite know day-to-day. You can do all the work in the world and try the best you can, and sometimes it just lifts off and sometimes it doesn't."

#tobias menzies #one of my perennial favorites

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thedawningofthehour · 8 months

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didn't you say you were making Draxum's house in the sims? Did you ever finish? :(

So I whined about this on my main blog, but I'm having issues with my computer. The power port, and I've noticed this for a while, gets extremely hot whenever I try to run anything more intensive than Powerwash Simulator, and the past few months it's become harder and harder to get it to charge. (I'm not overclocking or anything-I bought this computer for gaming and made sure it had the specs to run shit like my heavily modded Skyrim and Fallout, it should be able to run Sims) I contacted Acer about a repair and they quoted me over eight hundred dollars. The actual computer was about 1200-1300, for comparison. There's other issues with it as well-there's a chip on the screen that's really obvious on a white background, and they advertised that it would support a second hard drive, but it's never recognized the one I bought. The power port is the most grievous though, and power ports on laptops are notoriously hard to repair.

And this computer isn't old. I bought it last spring. Less than a year and a half-and I've barely been gaming on it because I've been writing this, so I spent over a thousand dollars on a turtles fanfiction machine essentially. (there's been other reasons, depression funk caused a complete disinterest in gaming and after so many mass shootings I've started feeling guilty whenever playing games with guns, but writing is mostly what I've been using this expensive gaming PC for) I only had the one-year warranty that came with the computer, but honestly I can't find it in myself to regret that too much because I have never once had a company actually honor a warranty. It's like safety deposits on apartments or insurance claims-they'll do everything they can to weasel out of doing what they're supposed to.

So back to your question-I currently don't trust my computer to run the Sims. Or anything else. And I can afford to buy another gaming PC right now, but it would be financially pretty irresponsible. I returned the tablet I bought to draw with, and I think I'm going to get one of those two-in-one laptop/tablets so I can use it for drawing and writing. Maybe I'll be able to run the Sims 4 on that-it doesn't have to run great, I use it mostly as a building simulator. Kind of sucks though, Crusader Kings 3 came out with another expansion pack and the new Cities Skylines is coming out this fall, plus I've been getting a hankering to play Skyrim again.

But enough about my computer woes, I do think I have some screenshots I could show...

First floor, I apparently took these during the first round of building because I made a lot of changes. The lab is way bigger now, and I have the rest of the house shell done. The blank space in the back right is where I was going to put in the multi-story room where the turtles find the weapons-which is probably the least completed part of the entire house because holy hell the building controls do not want to work with me.

But in the back left you can see Cass and Gale's rooms! :)

I do like how the main hallway turned out. I know it was mostly destroyed on Creation Day, but let's just say Draxum redid it in the same style. The middle picture, that's the little storage room that hides the door to the part of the house where Gale's room is. If you know the Sims you can tell where the secret door is.

And yes, I know the half-walls under the stairs look ridiculous, I've fixed it since then. I couldn't just extend the half-wall all the way back because it would delete the upper staircase, for some reason.

I'm pretty proud of how the living room is turning out. Could be a little bigger, but the symmetry of the bookshelves are just too perfect. (also the curved walls get fussy, FUCK CURVED WALLS) Needs some clutter on the mantle though.

The kitchen no longer looks like this, I moved around a lot of the pictures and added another layer of cabinets, because Draxum probably has like six sets of fine china he's received as gifts throughout the years and refuses to part with. I added more retro-looking décor, because the last time he remodeled this room was in the sixties and I wanted it to look a little old-fashioned. I also imagine he refuses to get an electric stove, saying his mystic wood-burning stove works just fine. I tried to work a pantry in, but it didn't really pan out. (lol) And the more I think about it, he probably has a legit larder somewhere in the basement, since Draxum is from a time before refrigeration and would have grown up storing food in underground cellars. (and he deffo has like several years worth of food stored away, he's pretty much a doomsday prepper)

This is also incidentally the layout of the kitchen at my old house, hence the weird octagon dining area. Except we had windows. With no curtains. In the woods. It was unsettling to cook at night.

Draxum's study is bigger now, and I think I added a fireplace? He absolutely has eight bazillion degrees and awards and he puts them ALL on his wall. He earned that shit, dammit.

His bedroom's nothing to write home about. It's comfortable, not luxurious. There's no electric lights because he prefers candlelight.

Just imagine that white bathroom counter stained with pink splotches from Draxum's hair dye.

I had BARELY done anything with the pool, but as you can see it is indeed a tank. Draxum was planning to keep a mutant or something in there.

I was actually in the process of redoing the entire greenery lol, but I think I did an okay job on 1.0. Not the mason jar lamps though, I'm not sure what I was thinking there.

Some pictures of Lab 1.0. The ooze-vine-thing looks terrible; I straight up haven't even started to recreate it in 2.0. I pushed back Draxum's alchemy area and gave him an actual medical bay in the back, which is where The Table would have been located.

That's mostly Gale's area on the left, I think it still broadly looks this way? I didn't put in stuff like the robotics table because it just looked silly-and besides, we're not actually playing this build. We know Galois only needs two hands and a welder to make a robot.

I will leave you off with a slightly more clutterfied Gale's room! Oh, but also, I GOT PURPLE CC CURTAINS FOR HIM. :D After I took this picture, but just know he has them now. He has no reason to have them because he does not have a window, but I'm happy for him.

#okay i did not intend to spend an hour doing this #i was gonna post the next chapter tonight but i don't think that's going to be happening no #not much of a surprise it needed a lot of work and i've been dragging my heels on it #doth asks

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bzedan · 2 days

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[ID: A digital illustration of the Vault Boy condition image from the PipBoy 3000, a glowing green outlined figure on a dark screen with health metre indicators for head, body and each limb. Rather than the regular coverall-clothed guy, the figure is an outline of Garfield. All health indicators are full and he is smiling. Text below him reads "April 2024 - Level 41." End ID.]

A show came out for a game I've thought about 3-7 times every week for the past nine years and I've been completely normal about it. In my birthday month too! It influenced the playlist cover more than the contents, which are all indulgent as should be for a birthday month playlist. A lot of Carly Rae Jepsen this month, thanks to using her song titles as prompts for Storytelling Collective's April Daily Poem challenge (see results here). Two hours and 33 minutes but despite how I love playing with the length I shan't drop a one of these tracks to get to my birthday-day. Close enough, I say!

Related media to some of the songs:

'Two of Hearts' was in my mind thanks to a random video I'd encountered about the "I-I-I-I-I" sample in 'Groove Is in the Heart' by Deee-Lite, summarised over at Laughing Squid.

'Harder' was Medusa's I think birthday month track and had been out on Bandcamp for a bit but finally wended its way to Spotify, allowing me to drop it into a playlist. Their music is always a mood. They also have an At-Cost collection of merch specifically to make things available to more folks, with the option to pay it forward as well.

The way things go I think songs from a playlist I picked up from a Fallout: New Vegas fan artist are in May but heck there's a Nancy Sinatra on here so why not share now, 'Atomic Cocktail' is a very long, vibes-based playlist that is great to have going in the background.

Anyway here's a link to April's playlist on Spotify, with the track list below the cut.

Or embedded if you like that:

'Time to Pretend' - MGMT

'How Does it Feel' - Dizzee Rascal

'Free Animal' - Foreign Air

'Girl Inform Me - 2021 Remaster' - The Shins

'Complex' - Tristen

'Fun But Not Forever' - girlish figure

'Sociopathic Dance Queen' - Amaarae

'Jackie' - Scott Walker

'I Could Be Happy' - Altered Images

'GO! (feat. Karen O)' - Santigold

'Black Sheep' - Kailee Morgue

'Good Luck, Babe!' - Chappell Roan

'Me And My Shadow' - Peggy Lee

'Only A Fool Would Say That' - Steely Dan

'Seabird' - Alessi Brothers

'Thank You (Not So Bad)' - Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike

'Feels Right' - Carly Rae Jepsen

'Two of Hearts' - Stacey Q

'Hey Sorry' - Boy Jr.

'Houdini' - Dua Lipa

'Hard (er)' - Medusa

'i like the way you kiss me' - Artemas

'Really Big Deal' - Jake Shears

'Eye On The Bat' - Palehound

'Sunshine Superman' - Donovan

'Sunset Superman' - Dio

'Godzilla' - Blue Ã–yster Cult

'Shadow' - Carly Rae Jepsen

'Cute & Cruel (feat. First Aid Kit)' - Tove Lo

'Evil Eyes' - Dio

'Do Right' - Jimmie's Chicken Shack

'Dancehall Queen' - Robyn

'I'm Like A Bird' - Nelly Furtado

'Chemical' - Post Malone

'Juke Box Hero - 2008 Remaster' - Foreigner

'The King of Rock 'N' Roll' - Prefab Sprout

'Call Me Maybe' - Carly Rae Jepsen

'Bury Me With It - Jacknife Lee Remix' - Modest Mouse

'That Life' - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

'Oh to Be in Love - 2018 Remaster' - Kate Bush

'Sideshow' - Nick Lutsko

'Primadonna' - MARINA

'When I Needed You' - Carly Rae Jepsen

'This Hell (feat. CHANMINA - Gyarupi Remix - Spotify Singles)' - Rina Sawayama

#meche makes playlists #playlists #syndicated from subscription sites #Spotify

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lobstermatriarch · 19 days

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Tagged by @anosrepasi, thank you for thinking of me!

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 16, though I orphaned two so 18 I guess

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 395,394 (jeez when did that happen)

3) What fandoms do you write for? Mostly games, and at this point just BG3. In the past I've written for Homestuck, Fallout 4, Mass Effect Andromeda, and the Witcher. I've got some unpublished stuff for Final Fantasy and The Locked Tomb which may or may not ever see the light of day too

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1 - Playing House

2 - The Kids Aren't Alright

3 - Goodnight, My Dear

4 - Commonwealth Mercurial

5 - Flower Bright

5) Do you respond to comments? Depends! If it's an active WIP I always do, but I've gotten lax on responding to new comments some of my older fics. It's not that I don't appreciate them, thinking of responses just stresses me out so I tend to focus on what I'm still working on

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Goodnight, My Dear by a landslide

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hm. As much angst and horror as I write most of my fics end up pretty happy

8) Do you get hate on fics? Not really, I'm hardly a bnf so I don't tend to get that kind of attention. I had a few assholes in the Homestuck days but that was it

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Here and there but usually as part of a larger whole. I've never felt like it was my strength so I leave it to the people who do it well

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nah

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Also not that I know of

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? I did back in the Homestuck days, but it's been a long time

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? ....I don't understand the question

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've got a Locked Tomb prequel that I'd been writing for Cytherea/Loveday, and as much as I like the concept I doubt it'll ever get finished

16) What are your writing strengths? tonal whiplash and sucker punches

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Smut, tragically :(

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Ohhh it's a struggle. I'm impressed by people who pull it off but unless I'm fluent (and I'm barely conversational in any language except English) I don't feel comfortable with it and will usually find a way to write around it

19) First fandom you wrote for? I remember writing and printing out a FFX fic that I gave to my friends in sixth grade if that counts

20) Favorite fic you’ve written? Uhhhhh recency bias might be coming into play here but I'm having a great time writing Come Down. The Durge fandom has been great, it's not a huge fic but my readers/beta reader have been super kind and leaving these great, thoughtful comments on every chapter. I guess it just goes to show that you really do need to write for yourself and a group of, like, ten other sickos to have fun

In terms of actual writing though? Heartlines.

I don't have many writing mutuals who are active on here anymore, but @antimonyantigone and @hiboudeluxe if you'd like to do it I'd love to see your answers! Anyone and everyone else who wants to, I’d like to see your answers too :]

#lobstermatriarch's writing

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captain-hen · 6 months

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holy shit, your post about non-canon queer ships is so real!! and i think the reason why so many of us get attached to fanon ships is because it tends to have the buildup that most canon queer ships now lack for one reason or another -- maybe the writers don't want to be accused of queerbaiting, or they did have plans but their show got cancelled thanks to the streaming model, or maybe these showrunners and writers are just more interested in marketing 'diverse' characters than doing any of the work required to make these stories feel authentic and real.

these days, the characters meet, and you immediately know they're going to get together in about eight episodes. the characters rarely have individual identities or story arcs outside of each other, and the fact that most new shows are only a step away from getting canceled means that the writing rushes through all of the buildup in order to get to the supposed payoff that doesn't make you feel anything.

which is why a ship like buck and eddie, for example, is so much more compelling to me than anything i've seen in the past five years bc we got to actually see these characters grow as individuals and go through so many important relationship-cementing experiences way before they would (presumably) get together. from the many lighthearted fun, moments of friendship to all of the hardships they've endured together to taking the steps they need in order to actually be ready for a relationship -- we got to go on that journey with them every step of the way.

eddie didn't just come in during season two, PTSD-free, mentally healthy, and divorced, and announce that he's queer to the firehouse 0.2 seconds after meeting buck. no, he had to navigate the messiness of his wife coming back and dying, buck had to deal with the fallout of the ladder truck incident, they had to work through the lawsuit and the shooting and the repercussions of said shooting and had to make their way out of relationships that didn't work for them. but they got to do it all together, and we as an audience got to see that relationship play out over six whole seasons.

so now, buck and eddie getting together wouldn't feel manufactured, it would feel real, and rewarding, and it'd feel like the only natural, satisfying conclusion to both of their story arcs. i just...i don't see that in new queer media because we don't get enough about either partner or their dynamic before their relationship turns romantic for me to get invested.

(sorry for dumping in your inbox bjskdjdk, u just did a really great job articulating the exact point about queer rep that i've been trying to put into words for a long time 😅)

no, you're so right! i think this is a combination of showrunners trying have a checklist of 'diverse' characters, and the 8-10 episode model where shows are in constant danger of being canceled. these characters meet, 5 seconds later they're kissing, and they're declaring their undying love for each other at the end of the season...if they even wait that long. it's literally so rare to see shows that actually bother to give queer relationships some time to breathe and develop, the only examples i can think of are casey and izzie from atypical and ava and beatrice from warrior nun. and if what we do end up having most of the time with canon queer couples is fine with the people who like them, then all the power to them! but having a weird superiority complex or decrying others for liking non-canon queer ships is...not it.

i mean, everything you've said about buck and eddie is exactly why i'm so obsessed with them—they meet every single requirement i have for a well-written dynamic! both the characters are fleshed out, rather than being plot devices for each other; their relationship is incredibly well-developed; it's a slow burn; they have interesting conflicts and arcs; and there's actually a reason as to why these two make sense as a couple, rather than them just being two attractive adults in the vicinity of each other. i can't count the number of times i've seen LS fans say that people should just watch lone star because 'the gay couple is actually canon' which is not only infuriating, but also speaks so much as to how people have seemingly ceased to care about good and interesting writing in favour of the canonization of queer ships. (i'm sorry, but t/arlos sucks and i would rather buck and eddie get married to different people rather than ever end up like them)

at the end of the day, good writing matters. interesting and intricate storytelling and development matters. you can't just handwave all of that and pretend it's fine just because the characters are ~~diverse~~. i'm being so serious when i say that i'd rather a show had a handful of characters who are minorities who are written well and manage to drive the plot forward; rather than an entire cast full of them who ultimately don't do anything, and are only there so that the creators can pat themselves on the back and not do any work to actually write them well.

#neethu answers #cityscreams

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appreciatingactors · 8 months

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So this person has really become a household name in the past year or two, and she really deserves it.

This person is extremely talented and always understands the assignment.

Let's hear a round of applause for Jenna Ortega!

She's been around for awhile now, but nothing really took off for her until she was casted as Wednesday Addams in the Netflix original series, Wednesday, which is the first thing I ever saw her in, and my favorite.

I've seen a few other things with her in it as well. There's this movie called The Fallout, about surviving a school shooting, and her performance in that is so powerful. The movie is a great representation of grief, and no matter how much time has passed, it can hit you at any moment.

Then there's the movie Yes Day, where she plays the daughter, and her parents have to say yes to everything for a whole day. She's really good at playing an angsty teenager. In fact, she perfectly represents the angsty teenager in all of us.

To my understanding, she also has a major role in the more recent Scream movies, but I have never seen a Scream movie, and I dunno if I want to start now.

Also, lately in the news, she has been confirmed to be starring in Beetlejuice 2! Now, that is one movie I am rather excited for I loved Beetlejuice as a kid, and I am so sure that I will love this long awaited sequel.

#jenna ortega #wednesday #wednesday addams #tim burton #netflix #the fallout #school shooting #yes day #angsty teenager #angsty #scream #beetlejuice 2 #beetlejuice #actress #appreciation

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niconebula · 2 years

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First of all thank you 'silverlady7' on Reddit for discovering the following, I would not have known at all myself. I think we can pretty reliably figure out who The Collector is because of this - so this is just going to be my full analysis post. Long read ahead.

The Collector is most likely based off of Yugi from Tenchi in Tokyo, which did air on Toonami in the early 2000s. Yugi was an incredibly powerful child who was imprisoned in a tomb for three thousand years after she and the creatures she created ravaged the planet she came from, though in her mind they were just playing. It seems she was conscious all those years, but completely alone, and never aging past the mind and body of a six year old.

The thing that locks this in is that we already have a reference to this show - Eda's design and personality was directly based off of Ryoko.

It makes it more interesting with the use of these floating rocks around the Collector's little prison bubble, which can be seen in the anime as the way to seal / defeat Yugi where she's literally begging not to be left all alone in the dark again.

She's ultimately redeemed at the end by the main character (in one of the fastest redemptions I've literally ever witnessed from watching the clip, lol). It's fair to say we can expect that to happen in the end with The Collector - and I'd prefer it greatly, I'd like Belos to remain the main big bad.

It bodes well for the idea that King and the Collector will become allies too. Not during the redemption part, but before that. Even while Yugi has reawakened and is doing her most villainous deeds on Earth, she creates an alternate persona for the sole purpose of being able to play with her only friend Sasami (who is in another connection, the princess of the planet that Yugi destroyed thousands of years ago).

So, up to this point: The Collector was literally just a kid drunk with the sheer power he held, who one day went too far and was imprisoned for it. They learned to want revenge solely for the sake of it, after being lonely for thousands of years.

Now, part 2.

The Collector wasn't even from the Demon Realm. They're from a third celestials dimension.

Now this is a very famous painting called the 'Garden of Earthly Delights' by Heironymous Bosch depicting eden, earth, and hell. Bosch was a big inspiration for The Owl House - Dana cites him and his works multiple times as the aesthetic behind the Boiling Isles. Boscha you might notice, is also named after him.

Oh yeah, the whole show is based off of religion. I first got the idea of the Collector being a (fallen) angel because of the oddity of Belos deciding to put so much trust within him - despite the Collector also being magic and an inhabitant of the Demon Realm.

The theory has a lot of weight with his aesthetics and the mural paintings from King's Birthplace. Their design directly invokes the sky - the sun, the moon, and the stars.

The Collector's imagery is all over the temple, but in this mural I believe the comet coming down could be a sign that the Collector was 'born' from a comet falling from the heavens, which stranded them alone on the Boiling Isles those thousands of years ago. Furthermore and back to Yugi, she was likewise sent out on a comet that eventually found it's way to earth.

The mural and whole design is also an interesting signal that the relationship between the Collector and the Titans may not always have been so fraught, or really wasn't that much at all. I don't think you'd decorate a temple / your baby's nursery with the symbols of your species' greatest enemy all over the place. I believe it may have just been the fallout of two kinds of godlike beings who's ideals eventually clashed with each other; which carries on every other theme in the show so far about families being torn apart.

#ok im ending it there it was going to be even longer but i just spent two hours on this im done.#the collector #toh #the owl house #king clawthorne #ish?#i believe in the method of 'find out what the creator liked and then piece it together from there' because that is how MY brain works #also the beast ball the collector is trapped in is apparnetly used for inter dimensional beings so angel collector truth

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caffeinatedowlbear · 4 months

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Hi! I'm a big fan of your work! I really love lost and found (so far, I'm 75% done with the first book, so you still have ample time to hurt me with later plots lol) and I especially love your writing style. It feels so human and beautifully contrasts with Jack's most in human moments, which end up standing out and being some of my favorite moments.

I would love to be able to pick around in your brain real quick.

First: What do you read? Since most writers are inspired by what they read and get alot of the foundations of their writing style from it aswell, I was wondering what built those foundations for you. Childhood books? Maybe you read something that sparked your interest in writing?

Second: Could we maybe get a peek into your writing process at some point? How you plan or dont plan chapters? How far ahead do you plan? Do you set any particular goals?

Thank you for any answers you give me and also for inspiring me to take my own writing a little more seriously than I did before! You've really inspired me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. :)

Hi! Thank you for the ask, and for your patience. This year so far has been a bit chaotic, and I wanted to set aside the time to answer properly. :)

First of all, I'm so glad you've been enjoying Lost and Found! This fic, as well as Rhack in general, have been a huge part of my life for the past few years, and I've been blown away by the reception of what started out as a very personal and niche project. 💛

Now, for the questions.

1. Reading and inspirations / style foundations

I've got an interesting relationship with reading, in that I've read a tremendous amount as a child/teenager, but some time during the past decade (I'm in my 30s), my brain has developed a bit of a block for reading fiction (I blame a combination of neurodivergencies). Every now and then, I'll get stuck in a book or a fic, but these days, I mostly experience stories in other forms than prose, with my favorite options being long-form tv (i.e. netflix series and such) and games (both story-oriented ones that tell you the story as you play or have your choices shape the story (like Stray, Tales, DBH), and open-world ones that combine plot quests and environmental storytelling (like Fallout and Witcher 3)).

Although I have a bit of internalized shame about not reading much prose these days ('you can't be a good writer if you don't read', etc.), I also maintain that Writing and Storytelling are two distinct skill sets. And while reading is obviously important to develop the Writing skill, Storytelling can be learned from so many places! If anything, I strongly believe that every writer can benefit from experiencing stories in every medium available to them, be it movie and tv, video and tabletop games, concept albums, etc.. Heck, the core plot of L&F grew out of a Borderlands-inspired D&D campaign, so...

That said, I do have favorite writers: Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Chuck Wendig, Andrzej Sapkowski, Becky Chambers. I may be bold enough to claim that all of their influences can be found in my work, be it in writing style or in the way I approach storytelling.

I also would like to credit a writer who went by Rhetor in a fandom that must not be named, whose fic Counting to Five Thousand upended my entire understanding of fanfic some 15 years ago, showing me that fic can be used to tell beautiful and powerful stories. Your mentioning that my work inspired you to take your own writing more seriously reminded me of them. I remember what it's like to be inspired by a writer in a fandom, and I'm honored to have provided some of that for you. 💛

2. Writing process / planning / goals

I normally think of myself as a pantser (or, to use the fancy term 'discovery writer'), but for long works, especially ones published as they're being written, there has to be at least some degree of planning involved. By the time I start writing, I usually know the general shape of the plot, i.e. what are the characters trying to do, how they're going to try and achieve it, whether they will succeed or fail, and some of the stuff that might happen along the way. I should point out, though, that I always let the characters drive the plot, as opposed to wielding my authority to decide 'this should happen next'. Which means that sometimes, when I get to a certain point in the story, things unfold differently from what I'd been expecting.

For the above reason, I've also found it counter-productive to have too-clear plans of future chapters. Almost every time I'd do that, I'd find myself trying to railroad the characters into doing/saying what I had envisaged, instead of what was organic at the time. Almost invariably, the resulting scenes were stilted and disjointed, and I'd have to scrap them and try again.

I think the best analogy for my approach to planning as a writer is planning for a long walk or a road trip. You can map out the route, aim to hit certain waypoints, get a general idea of how long it will take... but you don't know the details of every bit of the journey until you're actually traveling. The only way to really know the road is to travel it - and for me, the only way to know the story is to write it.

That's on the story/chapter scale, anyway. When it comes to individual scenes, it's a bit like scrying into a crystal ball. I get a glimpse of what the scene is going to look like, or a few lines of dialogue, and use those as a hook to pull myself into the scene. And then the same rule as before applies: the details become clear once I'm writing it down or talking through it with my story accomplices. (I always do need to get it out of my head, though. There are people on here who say they can daydream their entire fics: that's not me. I need to get the story out, otherwise I'll just keep circling the initial 'preview' of the scene and not get any further. )

There are, of course, rare and precious times when plotting and pantsing align just so, and I end up with something that feels organic while cleaving to a structure. My favorite example of that is the L&F chapter The Man Who Isn't Jack, in which AI Jack's existential journey follows his journey through different parts of Opportunity while also tentatively mapping to the five stages of grief as he grapples with human Jack's legacy and his own status as AI programmed to act human. Not gonna lie, I'm damn proud of that one.

...Now you see why I needed to set the time aside to answer. Once again, thank you for reading, and for asking, and feel free to ask more, because I could talk about this stuff forever. And last but not least: I wish you the very best of luck with your own writing! 💛

#ask the owlbear

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ne-spivay-ranenko · 4 months

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Jukebox January: Day 3

the original post tag of all my posts

Today I'm doing C and Č, since I do have one Č song on the list! (I know there's a special characters day, but I have a different plan for that.)

California - Chappell Roan

I'm pretty sure I cried the first time I listened to this song, and I still cry regularly, because it hits that close to home. If I remember right, this song was written after she got dropped from her label and her partner broke up with her, all in 2020. For me, who had a hard time after graduating and feeling like I'm too old to achieve things (despite the fact I'm only still in my 20s!) it captures the feeling all too well. Also, I'm from the Midwest, and I grew up dreaming of places like California, so the perspective is very relatable to me.

Četri krasti - Prāta Vētra

Outside of Latvia, people may know them as Brainstorm (and as the best from Eurovision 2000, I will take no arguments). They're another favorite band of mine who's been around since the 80s. This particular song is the first on the album they released after their bassist died in 2004, and I think it makes a lot of the lyrics on this album very impactful. Prāta Vētra's lyrics are often layered in metaphors, and I'm always having to interpret them in a language I'm learning, but this one is particularly inspiring to me.

Carpe Diem - Joker Out

Could I really not put this one in, considering how much this band has become part of my life in the past half a year or so? Actually, while I enjoyed this song at Eurovision, I didn't vote for it--I voted for Latvia in the semifinal and Croatia and Finland in the final. The song that really got me into Joker Out, that'll be for tomorrow. I do have to say, though, my favorite things about Carpe Diem are the bassline and the structure of the song. In Eurovision, with the time limit of 3 minutes, I think it's hard to make songs that don't follow the exact "standard pop song" structure, but here we have two verses that are quite different, the guitar solo closer to the beginning than the end, and it even comes in 14 seconds under the time limit. I like it, I think it flows nicely.

Control - Poe

This song comes from one of my favorite albums in the world, which sadly kind of disappeared into obscurity because of some record label merger which resulted in Poe being dropped, losing all distribution of her album, and getting tied up in court over a bunch of things that happened around this. It's sad, because this is an artistically incredible album, with the songs woven with recordings of her father and young daughter speaking. It also ties in with the novel House of Leaves, which her brother wrote (though I've never read it, so I can't speak much about it). This song is so powerful and inspiring. I think my favorite lines are "All those things that you taught me to fear/I've got them in my garden now and you're not welcome here".

A couple more under the cut!

Champion - Fall Out Boy

When I want to feel better, this is one of the songs I reach for. "I'm a champion of the people who don't believe in champions" is the line that stood out to me from the first time I heard this song. I know Sia co-wrote this one, too. I have a complex relationship with Sia's music because some of her songs were really inspirational to me, but she's done some questionable things in recent years. Still, a song that feels good and gets me feeling inspired.

Crawl Out Through the Fallout - Sheldon Allman

Okay, so here's where I reveal my love for the Fallout games' lore. I've actually only played Fallout 4 (I have New Vegas too, but haven't played it yet). But I've always been fascinated by the duality of how nuclear technology is portrayed in society and media, how it's both futuristic and apocalyptic. So that's why I really love the Fallout soundtracks (and some other similar songs, which might pop up later.)

#jukebox january #Spotify

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liyazaki · 2 years

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just finished kinnporsche and i 100% agree with your analysis of the ending. if we do get a second season, do you think it's possible that kinn and porsche get their happy ending, however that may be? or would the writers dare go a more tragic route (something that doesn't seem to be that common in thai BLs afaik)?

I'm glad you got something out of it, Anon! here's my full finale take if anyone's curious.

there are so many roads the writers could take us down, I doubt I could guess even if I tried- however. one of the genius moves they made was having seemingly-insignificant anecdotes going all the way back to episode one come to fruition in the finale- comments characters made that hinted at the conflict to come, etc.

and I'm really not exaggerating, here- @dancinbutterfly gave me a play-by-play foreshadowing rundown during part of their rewatch and I've been dying to start mine ever since because my mind was thoroughly blown. it's rare to get that kind of cohesive storytelling in any show- I never saw it coming from KinnPorsche, of all things.

this not only upped KP's replay value for me by, oh- a million- but it gave me confidence that these writers know exactly where they're taking this story. much like puppet master supreme Korn, though, they kept the ultimate direction close to the chest ahead of (hopefully, please GOD) season two, opting for giving us satisfying- albeit nerve-wracking- ‘ah hah’ moments instead.

all that being said- where can I personally see things going given:

the story told to us thus far

the overall tone of KP

the events of the finale?

in a nutshell: the proverbial shit will hit the fan on all fronts. Korn's machinations will come close to destroying Kinn & Porsche's relationship from the inside out. Vegas & Pete will struggle to find their footing & purpose after the dust settles. Porchay will come into his own & make Kim rue the fucking day he broke his heart. the past will continue to wreak havoc on the present as truths are brought to light, causing fallout I can't fully fathom right now.

perhaps most importantly, Tankhun will never stop slaying/long may he reign 👑

at the end of the day, I believe our boys (all of them) will emerge together on the other side- bruised and battered, sure, but better for the journey (look at me, practicing restraint & not writing a mini dissertation!)

there's potential here for absolutely delicious tragedy (delicious if you're also a hoe for well-done, meaningful angst), but I don't think KP's ultimately that kind of show. it isn't afraid of diving into darker waters but it doesn't dwell there, either. it's messy and morally gray and delightfully, joyfully filthy- I don't see it ending as a heart-wrenching, cautionary mafia tale.

that doesn't mean we- and the characters we adore- won't suffer dearly along the way. I don't know about you, but as for me? bring on the pain train, as long as it comes with a chaser of HEA.

#mor answers #anonymous #kinnporsche #kinnporsche meta #kp meta #kinnporsche finale #s2 announcement WHEN

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quaddmgd · 11 months

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gaming update

lately i've been too exhausted to play video games, but i managed to start control two days ago and i'm having so much fun! in love with the cinematography and combat mechanics. and i won't even mention twin peaks inspi- ok i mentioned them now. and i actually enjoy reading all these classified documents, which is rare. not every day i have it in me to play, but i enjoy it whenever i can.

and when i can't, i boot gta iv (playing it again - this time the x360 version) as it's a game full of mindless copy/paste hitman assignments to which I can relax to and switch my brain off. i actually thoroughly enjoy the story but they should cut out about twenty missions - it's too long and dlcs are much better paced.

i'm still getting around to finishing my lok defiance playthrough (to gather needed footage) and i'm really trying to finish the og yakuza 2 but hostesses are beyond exhausting

jade empire, alan wake and fallout nv are very high on my list so i might start one of these soon.

#text.qd

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remidyal · 1 year

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Perspective Flip: 12 hours

BTS: Missing

Fusion Dance: High fantasy (like Tolkien style), Dreams

OKAY you're getting slightly shorter ones since you did three but I'm also thrilled to do all of these. By its nature there will be some spoilers for all three of these stories in this post, though the scene from Dreams is fairly early on in that fic and so is the chapter from Missing:

Twelve Hours, Aelwyn's perspective near the end.

Aelwyn's fingers itched as the ritual to settle the seven of them back in time worked. She'd been preparing for this day for a long, long while, not just for what happened during the ritual - hard enough, certainly enough to exhaust any normal wizard - but for what would need to happen after.

Kalina had never approached her during the time stop. Hopefully, that meant Kalina had no idea what was happening during the time stop, no idea of Aelwyn's growth as a wizard, of her freedom from the Geas that she'd been forced to put on herself, of any of it. Aelwyn had had five years to get ready for this, to try to get away from everything and everyone that had bound her.

The only sad part of it, much as she hated to admit it, was that she'd have to turn on Adaine one more time, but it wasn't like she was really betraying her. She was just… not going to go to prison.

Maybe she'd invite Adaine, eventually. With the extra years of training and all the information she'd given, they should have no trouble with Kalvaxus, at least; Aelwyn herself had looked into places that might be reasonable to set herself up. Outside of Solace, for a start. There was a lake isolated in the woods of the baronies that she might be able to do something with.

Maybe she would build a tower.

She turned to Adaine, now that the world was moving once more around them, now that Adaine was talking about having to deal with the fallout of half a decade and half a day ago, and was shocked to find that there were tears in her own eyes as she went to say goodbye, in her own way.

"…Aah. Adaine. It's fine. I've learned.. I've learned a lot of really important things, these past few years. About how important it is to have others helping you, and about how much I might have hurt.. you and others. And I am sorry for that. I do love you. But most importantly, I've learned… I've learned from Arthur Aguefort that if you're a powerful enough wizard and you have enough wards on your house, you can get away with any number of crimes and the government can't really stop you."

She was proud of her sister; Adaine at least made a try at a counterspell, which was better than any of those other suckers. She'd send an invite in a few months, after all.

NEXT! A bit of commentary on a chapter for Missing. I'm going to do this on the first chapter:

Missing is a much more fly-by-night fic than my other big D20 multichapter, Lunacy. Lunacy I have known how it will end since before I started writing it, though the path it's been planned to take has changed more than a few times. There were three big 'event' scenes that were signposts for me - Adaine biting Aelwyn and the two of them having their conversation in the jail, Aelwyn's rescue and subsequently the detect thoughts, and then the climatic end sequence that is as yet undisclosed to anybody.

Missing, I started with a beginning and it's kind of playing out from there, though there are a few notes I knew I wanted to hit. Specifically, that the girls would start with a decent amount of resources but lose those over time to ill fortune and to not being prepared for the streets, and then coming back into their own through struggles. I also knew I wanted to make this version of Aelwyn braver, but not necessarily THAT much braver. She makes the choice to help Adaine, after years of not acting, but she was strongly considering running away herself anyways, and it's only because she's literally watched her sister almost die repeatedly to her father that she finally snapped and ran.

That being said, it's still a bold choice, and maybe not the wisest one. For this story, centered on two characters who are INCREDIBLY young especially for the first stretch, it's pretty important to me that they make mistakes and foolish choices at the same time as they're also acting incredibly brave and resourceful and having what is, really, an adventure of sorts. Aelwyn's planned, and prepared, but it should be obvious on many thoughts from an adult's perspective reading that she simply HASN'T considered everything; she's got in many ways a very sheltered upbringing, and one that a few months sneaking out can't really cover up. (This is why she has a -2 wisdom.) Adaine's usually a bit more thought through, in spite of being younger, but she's going to make errors and plenty of them too.

In general, I think the first chapter does a very good job establishing all of this - that Aelwyn's just a bit bolder, why that's enough for her to run and take Adaine, that she hasn't really got a plan for what to do next beyond just 'have some money', and that she's truly justified and right to take the action she does here.

Last, a request was made for a scene from Dreams in a Tolkein-esque High Fantasy style, and.. this one is I think going to be the worst of these three, haha. Not really my style, but… Have Adaine and Riz meeting for the first time in that sort of setting rather than in school, with Kalina whispering in Riz's ear.

It was a dark night in the district near the inn, where Riz regularly kept his eyes out to make certain nothing was going to disturb the town. Kalina had convinced him long ago that making a fuss wasn't helpful, but it was still best for him to watch for people who might commit crimes, who might cause trouble in the town… his mother had been entrusted with the village's safety, after all, and it was on him to help her out with that job.

So he definitely noticed the small figure that was moving towards the inn, seeming to try to go unseen as it moved through the shadows. "Kalina, can you go look?"

Kalina, invisible to everyone but himself and his mother, strode across the street, even as the figure turned a corner and smacked into one of the mercenaries that had been staying at the inn face first. They were only a little taller than the soldier's waist, and seemed to shrink down as he started to berate them, the hood of the cloak slipping off to reveal a child's face and matted blonde hair.

"It's just some elf girl." Kalina said, dismissively, returning to his side. "Probably an orphan, to look at her."

Riz nodded, and then strode across the street to help her out, offering her a hand - she was shorter than he'd thought? - and then glaring up at the man who'd been berating her. "It was just an accident, leave her alone."

"Orphan kids always have sticky fingers! Your mother will hear about this." But he stormed off, and left the elf alone.

Riz glanced over. She was maybe his age, he thought - there weren't many elves around here to judge by - and she'd burst into tears at some point. "Hey, hey. Do you need help? I'm Riz. Riz Gukgak."

"I'm.. I'm Adaine." The girl said, before crying harder. "And I can't use my family's name anymore."

#missing #fanfic #riz gukgak #adaine abernant #aelwyn abernant #dimension 20 #fantasy high

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