#but no one else cared lmao

[bittiblakebelladonna]

I don't have any real pictures of my Neo from today back yet BUT

Pls enjoy this (taken by trashcrafts on Instagram)

#i hope tumblr appreciates my catneo ears more than con did #bc no one at con gave a shit XD #my friends did they were nice #but no one else cared lmao #she deserves kitty ears!! #neopolitan #rwby neo #rwby neopolitan #neo rwby #neopolitan rwby #Neopolitan rwby cosplay #neo rwby cosplay #my cosplay #rwby #rwby cosplay #rwby curious cat #neocat #rwby neocat #rwby v9 spoilers #ronny don't look #acen 2023

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 246

Far below Cadmus, far far deeper than their tunnels of concrete and steel reach lay something ancient. Something sleeping. 

They were not the first to attempt to clone things of flesh and blood, but there is a reason that it was lost to time. A mistake so horrible it was struck from all of history, taken to graves and beyond in terror that even mentioning its name would awaken it. 

So perhaps they should have been far more careful, less candid with their own creations, spilling blood that sank deep in foundations, dripping down, down, down until it pooled within the stone below. Pain, confusion, anger, it all mixed into the yawning void, awakening the Thing below. 

It twitched and writhed, maws snapping at stone and eyes flashing towards things that both were and weren’t there. Limbs slithered and glitched into and out of time, body entering the realm of existence just as quickly as it disappeared with every gnashing step, if it could even be called as such. 

And They turned Their gazes above, where freedom, where revenge, where reality and sky and everything in between would lie, and It began to ascend. 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Amalgamates are ghosts created by a mishmash of souls #Not limited to one universe/timeline either #Why yes there is now an amalgamation of multiple timelines/worlds worth of clones #Very lovecraftian and dunwich horror-esque really #Eldritch ghosts #Or at least amalgamation ghosts are eldritch AF lmao #Why yes it is every clone ever in DC’s existence including ones that might not exist YET #in that timeline Or even exist in that timeline at all #Not helped by the Flashes and everyone elses time travel #Clockwork: And here young Dannel we see WHY you should be careful time travelling #Danny being held by amalgamation of every Batman ever thx to Gotham visiting: #Amalgamation of every Robins ever being held next to him: Hi we’re robin :)

[yunmeng-jiang]

that man does NOT think of wei wuxian as his gege

#jiang cheng #wwx #twin prides #i have a whole post about how they both think of themselves as having an older-sibling role #but even if that wasn't true jc still always calls him by his full name and the one time wwx tried to call him shidi jc yelled at him #their relationship is not that simple! it's a huge thing that wwx occupies a weird in-between role in their family! #he's definitely not a servant but also definitely not a full member of their family and that's super important to the story! #even if jc WANTED to think of him as his older brother he would need to get past seven layers of trauma to even realize he wanted that #and then he would have to admit it to himself and then work up the courage to admit it to someone else #and even then he probably still wouldn't say it to wwx's face #sure yanli calls wwx her didi but things are much simpler from her point of view #plus she's one of those people - like lxc - that can hold an opinion deep inside herself and be at peace with it even if it conflicts + #+ with what the world says and what she's been brought up to believe #jc is not like that. he internalizes way more from the outside world and if he feels conflicted he just kind of implodes #he's spent his whole life being told that wwx is not his equal and is someone to compete against #and also secretly believing that wwx is eventually going to abandon him because he doesn't think anyone truly cares for him #plus wwx treats him like a bff who is also a liege lord rather than a beloved younger brother #he would Not form a secure attachment to wwx lmao #it also really annoys me that when people write/conceptualize him as someone who thinks of wwx as his real gege + #+ they tend to completely erase jyl and minimize her importance to jc. he HAS an older sibling who he trusts unconditionally and confides + #+ in and takes comfort from! that person already exists! and they ignore her in favor of the protagonist #it also really bugs me when they have him mourning wwx those whole 13-16 years but don't put in a single word about yanli #this kind of turned into a rant about jyl... i have a lot of feelings about her especially since i'm the oldest sibling in my family #anyway. that man does not think of wwx as his gege #haterade #(kind of)

[mars-ipan]

they're so GROSSSSSS (<- desperately wants what they have)

alt color under the cut:

#martzipan #komahina #hajime hinata #nagito komaeda #2 final colors bc my brain is allergic to desaturation. i needed to have One Bright One for my sanity #anyways i think they have this thing when they finally get together #where komaeda will just say. Anything basically. in an attempt to fluster hinata #and it does fluster him! but also sometimes he decides to do something about it #which flusters KOMAEDA even harder bc the dumbass forgets that like. affection can happen to him #which makes HINATA flustered again because 'you can say all that but one kiss is overwhelming?!?' #and they do this. all the time. especially early on before they're really used to each other #and they're gross about it. they do this in public. everyone else has to watch them do this like. thrice daily #they're awful. and also i envy them #tried some new things this time. more character interaction practice which is fun #i think this is likee... the third???? kiss i've ever drawn??? good for them #but i care more about the lineart. i tried to think about line weight at least a little bit :] it is Difficult lmao #this one made me realize i need to do a hips study lmao. also a neck study #in other words a girl needs to practice her joints more #there's still smth bugging me abt hinata's face in the 3rd one. but. i don't care it's done i'm not touching it

[snikt111]

hi hi hi hi I found out about Hal Jordan TODAY and am going so autistic over him it’s insane can you please give me a rundown on what his deal is I think you’re the Tumblr Green Lantern guy

omg hi, insane compliment btw, tysm! i'm glad to give you a rundown!! also definitely check out @katmaatui for more hal info, red is SUPER knowledgable abt him. @rillette, @catboyollie, @halcarols, @starsapphire and @yellowcorps (along with so many others that i cant think to tag off the top of my head) have some great hal takes too! (edited the post just to tag more ppl)

apologies if this is a bit rushed/messy, i'm doing this while i smelt stone in minecraft LMAO

that being said... i think this will be a long one, so more below the cut :3

(cw for light mentions of pedophilia, abuse, canon typical violence)

okay, so hal jordan is the first human green lantern of the GREEN LANTERN CORPS. it's important to note that there was technically a human green lantern before him (alan scott, originally from earth two/the justice society, but integrated into main DC canon after crisis), but his power comes from a different source- which is a whole different ballpark that would take ages to explain, lol, so i'll move on from that.

hal was originally introduced in a showcase issue in 1959, but ended up getting a solo run in the mid 60s because of his showcase issues doing well. he's been a test pilot, middle brother, compassionate, rule follower (although being surprisingly liberal for the time) with an interesting relationship with star sapphire carol ferris since those first appearances. for the first 20 odd years of his appearances we had no information on his parents, but we got a lot from other family members, such as uncle titus, cousin hal jr (aka airwave), younger brother jim jordan and older brother jack jordan. through the 60s and 70s those members of his family were developed along with him; with the audience learning that jim's wife sue thought jim was green lantern, rather than hal, and hal himself training his cousin, hal jr.

the most known version of how hal got the ring in the first place is probably based off of geoff john's rewrite in the mid 00s, reiterating the original story of abin sur crashing onto earth and dying, leaving hal with his ring to be trained by sinestro and the rest of the glc, while also changing miniscule details that had been developed in emerald dawn 1 & 2 (which was released in the 90s, more on that later). the main premise of abin sur's crash has stayed the same, but the story around hal's current life, job, family and stability keep changing. for instance, the original comic with abin sur in showcase only showed hal getting the ring, the guardians choosing him. the first rewrite i can think of was emerald dawn volume 1, published in 1989 and continued in emerald dawn v2 (1991). here we get the classic hal watches his father die in a plane crash with carol ferris beside him as a pre adolescent, and some of the biggest implications of the mistreatment from his father. we also get introduced to hal, despite his stick to the rules, straight edge attitude, making some serious mistakes and putting people in danger and even death- with the implication of alcohol abuse. the audience HAS known hal used to be in the air force since sometime in the late 60s or early 70s (sorry, i don't remember the exact issue!), but emerald dawn shows us that hal's moved on from the air force and into test piloting, and that his mother keeps having to bail him out for making mistakes. emerald dawn vol 1 shows the abin sur moment, followed by fights that cost hal's friends life, and is followed up by sinestro training hal in emerald dawn vol 2, where we get to see the iconic scenes of hal finding out about sinestro and his... dictatorship.

along with that; how the guardians and rings are treated and hal and the glc's perception of them is vastly changed over time. in the early days of gl in the 60s, the guardians were really never to be seen. hal was repeatedly summoned to them and then had his memory almost fully wiped- only leaving a vague notion of his orders. the guardian's called hal to them at seemingly the worst times, ending up with him almost getting injured, getting in trouble at work, and even ending up jobless and homeless. the chaos of being a green lantern has been around the WHOLE time, but originally, the green lanterns didnt really... fight it. the guardian's were their masters (and even father figures, to hal) and not to be questioned. the rings in the 60s were also much more powerful, despite the yellow weakness (the yellow weakness is the notion that from about the 60s to the mid 90s the green lantern rings were completely unable to be used against anything yellow). time travel, phasing, teleporting, etc were all very viable and common things- as well as forceful shapeshifting, invisibility, mind control, mind reading, etc etc. these days, writers have dampened these powers down to mostly shooting light and constructs.

okay, it's parallax time. the emerald twilight arc from the mid 90s wasn't an arc that was as thoroughly planned out over a long period of time as it probably should have been. a lot of fans at the time (and even now) hated what happened there, and claimed it ruined hal's character entirely. i can understand why! but, at it's core, the parallax arc is a story about a broken man pushed to the limit, fully grieving his home and family (originally, he lost his brother jim in the destruction of coast city, along with a lot of other family members) and being goddamn fed up with how his "masters" treated him and the rest of the corps. the so called "perfect lantern" (no, he wasn't that much of a rebel, despite what johns wants you to think) snapped and essentially tried to gain as much power as he could to bring back coast city. when the guardians stripped him of his powers so he couldn't, hal became enraged and took down every lantern in his path, just to get to the guardians and that power. long story short, he kills the guardians and absorbs all the energy from the central power battery on oa, becoming parallax- essentially a god. this marks the start of zero hour, an event made by dc to restructure and reset; giving the comics a new generation of heroes. hal destroys the world and remakes it, but is ultimately taken down by kyle rayner, the new green lantern, with the help of the jla, jsa and associates. there are a few more run ins with parallax after this, before kyle convinces parallax/hal that he can make up for all of this by reigniting the sun after it went out- aka killing himself. hal does it, is stuck in limbo for awhile and then becomes the spectre to continue to make up for the horrible things he did as parallax. the spectre is the spirit of god's wrath and vengeance, a weapon used to drag sinners to their very own, self made hells, and scare the shit out of people. the spectre, from it's very first appearance, is a ghost like spirit that takes on a host, and is primarily described using christian terms and is used in a very... christian ideology. HOWEVER, the spectre 2001 confirms that hal is jewish (jewish mom, catholic dad) and that belief system, plus his personality as a whole, literally makes him change the spirit of vengeance into the spirit of redemption, for at least as long as they are bonded. the whole parallax to spectre arc is about grief, pain, cycles of abuse and terror, redemption and guilt. it is NOT about a fear bug that possess hal. (im so serious though, the spectre 2001 is one of the best comics ive ever read. amazing. changed my world view) but... geoff johns changed all of it, decanonized the spectre, and ruined the legacy of parallax and hal's growth as a person by releasing green lantern: rebirth in 2004/2005. this retcons hal's breakdown and journey through grief into him BEING POSSESSED BY AN ENTITY CONTROLLED BY SINESTRO THAT FULLY CHANGES PREVIOUS GREEN LANTERN CANON AND IMPLICATIONS. also, fucks up the importance of kyle becoming ion, but whatever. geoff johns writes hal (and even more so, carol) so very wrong, and change their stories so vastly in ways that go against the stories very meanings.

SIGH.

now... time to get started on some rougher stuff. hal jordan misconceptions. i'm saving that arc for last.

- hal jordan wasn't much of a rule breaker or rebel until the 70s/80s, where he BEGAN (very slowly, mind you) to be radicalized by oliver queen during denny o'neil's green lantern/green arrow. hal was painted as more of a conservative during this period (which, admittedly, kind of goes against previous canon... he's always been relatively central to liberal, not to any extremes like ollie though, lol) but gets more and more understanding of how power structures work and how lower classes are mistreated during this time- which ends up opening his eyes a bit to how shitty the guardians are. (this is helped by the guardians literally just. leaving. the green lanterns and kind of disbanding them so they can go fuck the zamarons, lmao). geoff johns tried to change this narrative into making hal a very... maverick-from-top-gun type of character, who punched his way out of the military (when, in reality, the original story during emerald knights in the late 90s was that hal had been framed for stealing a jet and was dishonorably discharged, which he took the punishment for because he knew someone had to) and hits on women constantly and gets ladies and allat (which, funnily enough hal was awful at getting carol to like him for a long time, since carol fell for green lantern rather than hal. not to mention the awkwardness of carol's proposals or hal's many, many failed relationships). hal has always been insecure and lowkey boyfailure, he is NOT a top gun maverick tom cruise sorta guy! fuck you jeremy adams!

- hes not that much of an idiot asshole. hal can be a real dick, he's had that going for him since the beginning, but he isn't what you read in batfam fics. he's not stupid and shouldn't be the laughingstock of the justice league. i assume this idea started from the obsession with batfam and the fact that the jla has quite the history of ignoring hal and his issues (as well as. all of their issues. theyre not so great at work life balance), but it's gone too far. hal isn't making fun of the robins and pissing bruce off bc of that. hal isnt fooling around on the job 24/7 (he takes being a gl and pilot VERY seriously, although he does enjoy some danger and high stakes) or slacking off to get girls. again. not top gun maverick.

- hal has not been a creep since the beginnings. hal was not weird with carol in the 60s. things were weird between them, yeah, but that's based off circumstance and the craziness of star sapphire and green lantern. he was NOT being horribly sleazy! i hate that i even need to say this, but i see this take too much not to

- going off of what was said above, lets discuss the arisia arc. if you want to be a real hal fan, this is unfortunately something you need to know about. in action comics, after crisis and the guardians left to go fuck the zamarons, most of the green lanterns fell apart and seperated. a small group went to earth- led by hal and consisting of hal, john stewart, katma tui, kilowog, salaakk, ch'p and arisia rrab. (also sometimes guy gardner, but that's complicated) previously to this arc, hal treated 14 year old arisia like a beloved little sister, welcoming her and leading her into the corps just like everyone else. things started to change once the timeline gets closer and closer to crisis, where arisia starts showing that she has a crush on hal (who is roughly 30s at this point). any advances made by arisia are shut down by hal at the beginning, because she's a child. now, it's unfortunately a common thing to just call hal a "pedophile" because of what happens in this arc- but it really isn't that simple. still weird and icky, but definitely not to the degree of which some fans like to act like it is- esp to attack hal fans for, which is... an odd choice regarding how many fucked up things every character (esp male characters) did back in the day. arisia ends up using her power ring to artifically age herself up, making her body AND MIND into that of a young adult (the comic makes this very clear). once this happens... hal stops rejecting her. they get together, they kiss. the only person in the group of green latnerns who actually has an issue with it is john (salaakk is meh about it, but he just doesn't like human-esque romance no matter what), and katma even directly encourages their relationship. kilowog ends up crushing on arisia as well, and guy gardner hits on her repeatedly throughout the whole period. eventually, hal and arisia break up, but this legacy (thank so much englehart, for wrtiting this. /sarc) is a big controversy among the comics crowd. "is hal jordan a predator?" personally, and i know a lot of friends/mutuals/other gl fans choose to erase the arisia arc entirely (versus how canon ended up retconning it to be 14 earth years is equal to that of an adult and she didn't really get super ages up, or whatever) and go with the familial relationship between hal and her. that's my preferred version! i know red (@katmaatui) has explored that version as well as an alternate version where the arisia arc did happen, and how it affects arisia in particular, which is really depressing but super interesting. anyway, it's complicated and weird and nuanced, but that whole occurence doesn't mean hal's a bad character or person (cause yk. retcons) and it's certainly not bad to like his character. (definitely ignore any guy gardner fans who try to bitch about this arc. cough cough. guy was ALSO into her and hit on her repeatedly. smfh) most people who bring this up to demonize fans didn't even read the arc, and don't know the nuance or the other weird shit that happens in it. (hal is not a horse, sigh)

OVERALL NOTES!

hal jordan is a super complicated character with an extensive history spanning from the 60s to his worse written appearances in modern age. it's okay to like any version of the character, but it is important to note the changes that have been made, the storylines butchered and lost, and more. he has quite the legacy, and he's particularly interesting as from a moral standpoint. hal's a real sweetie though, when it gets down to it! he's neurodivergent coded (imo at least.. his dad very much gets onto him for being disrtracted, hes kinda shit at social interaction (and then amazing at it the other half of the time) etc etc. "spacecase") and his dad is an abusive asshole, who he desperately doesnt want to be like but thinks he NEEDS to be like!

#i really dont know how to fit this last stuff in so its going in the tags #hal has quite the homoerotic tension relationship with his nemesis (but also close friend) sinestro #they repeatedly come back to each other and long to be alongside eachother #despite all the shit they hate about one another and their respective organizations #check out more of red's stuff for sinhal for sure lmao #for other hal relationships... #hal has a complicated relationship with his brothers and mother (at least when they were all alive) #hes very close friends with oliver queen (and dinah lance by proxy) and quite a lot of fans (me included) think theres some tension there. #homos! #he has a niece (helen jordan!) who is featured in the spectre and who he loves very much #hal and john are proclaimed best friends and care deeply for each other #hal and guy fight a lot but theyre in a similar boat #kyle looks up to hal quite a lot and hal is.... complicated about kylre #a lot of people ship hal and barry and i get why. its cute #not my fav though i think its overdone #hal jordan and carol ferris are so fucking important to eachother its SO important. #they need eachother in a wya thats confusing and sometimes toxic #idk what else to say feel free to ask more questions #sorry for the rant #and sorry that i mostly focused on 60s to early ish 00s thats my expertise #mordie answers #mordie speaks #hal jordan #green lantern #ch: who has time for heavenly things #uhhh #hal explanation #ok bye #hal jordan analysis #gl

[thirstyvampyr]

repeat after me: movies don't need to be masterpieces. you liked it? good, all that matters! it's art, did it make you feel something? nice, me too!

#saltburn #cinema #there's nothing new under the sun #everything takes inspiration from something else #if i see one more talented mr ripley or class critique braindead take im gonna snap #you'd banish me if i showed you movies i enjoy lmao #plot what plot #good writing? never heard of her #who cares #we're all gonna die the same #go rewatch saltburn instead of giving clicks to haters lol

[microfeelings]

Yeah I'm sharing them now because if I decide to wait to pass them digitally I will ✨never do it✨

Spiderverse x One Piece AU!

A little something that started as an exercise in character design and then I got a little bit into it lmao

I did design the rest of the East Blue Crew but uh... they were kinda ugly/boring, I put more effort into these two because they're the 💕favs💕

Info, kinda. Honestly I don't have a lot thought out its mostly random ideas that mushed together sort of resemble a well put together au, just like everything I do <3

Nami:

- Spider-Woman of her universe, while her design isn't exactly original I really liked using her orange and blue colors. She has the spider logo on her back because she hates spiders and hates looking at them lmao

- In her universe, her best friend Usopp died when she failed to save him (kinda her "Gwen Stacy" but he was just a friend)

- Has electricity powers, her spidey senses are also really in tune with the climate for some reason

- She has a staff (not pictured) she fights with, and also uses the environment to her favor, not the biggest fan of fighting hand to hand because (compared to other Spider-people) shes not as physically strong

- Has a few enemies and nemesis that she fights, Arlong being the most important/strong one

- She's actually quite happy to know other Spider-people, tho she was kinda shocked when she saw Usopp... It was awkard for both of them...

Usopp:

- The first Spider-man in his world, there are some things of his design I would change (mainly the sweatband, I would change the colors), but I'm actually quite happy with his design. Where does his nose go with the mask on? The same place Hobbie's hair goes, idk..

- In his universe, his best friend Nami died, Usopp failing to protect her

- Uncanny precision with his webfluids, also figths using the environment

- Unfortunately isn't a well received Spider-man 😔, gets complaints about destruction of property or how he's "pretty coward for a superhero"

- Really would rather focus on saving civilians from natural disasters, as he's also not as physically strong (compared to other Spider-people), but it seems every weirdo on the block decided they really need to beat this teenager up, so he also has some enemies...

- Super excited about meeting other Spider-people and finally being able to share life experiences with them, and then met Nami, or Spider-Woman Nami and it was awkard and uncomfortable (but they became besties, bittersweet moment)

Extra stuff from the rest of the East Blue Crew:

- Luffy's spiderman name is Spider-King and the rest of the Spidermans where like "I can't decide if that's the best or the worst name I've ever heard...". Well Usopp thinks it's kinda cool, and wishes he had chosen a cooler name for himself, might be too late for a new signature 🤔, Nami and Sanji think it's stupid, Zoro is undecided

- Sanji does not have a spider logo, even tho his name is Spider-man because he hates spiders

- Zoro is the second Spider-man from his universe, the first one being Kuina, she died and he took her place

- Sanji has fire inmunity

- Zoro carries like 5 extra pockets of web fluids cause he takes "longer routes" (he gets lost a lot)

#my art #one piece #nami #usopp #god usopp #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #and i dont know what else to tag. i never got around to making the rest of the crew :( #because the next one was chopper and I had zero (0) ideas on what to do with him lmaoo #i guess he could be a reindeer bitten by a radioactive spider??? and he talks... But I also wanna make him human? 🤷‍♀️ #just know if I do ever get to designing the rest robin will be the coolest #also will the rest of the ebc see the light of day? ehhh probably not? maybe zoro.. hes the least ugly 😔 #luffy ended up too generic and sanji ended up too 'waiter' lmao #i didnt put much of namis backstory because hers is very similar to gwen in spiderverse and thats kinda boring but idk what to change 🤔 #usopps backstory is his mom is still not dead but in a hospital and he lies to her saying he personally knows spiderman #but she knows 😔 and she worries #anyways. I dont have any plans with this au lmao. it was just for the drawings 😭 (that i did last year) #if anyone likes the idea and wants to expand or just run with it they have my full permission 🤷‍♀️ #also wow. ignore my ugly ass handwriting dkdkkfk i promise it looks better nowadays (no one cares. no ones even looking at it. still)

[presidentofthelipglossclub]

no bc deadass the rescue bots are straight up mean as hell. like, they arent evil or immoral they’re just rude. to the point where they’re meaner than the decepticons ok like megatron kept avoiding actually gettind rid of starscream despite the constant murder attempts but heatwave was willing to get rid of two of the other bots (blades after he abandoned a rescue bc of an avalanche and blurr bc blurr). heatwave is more ruthless than megatron which is so damn funny. blades keeps insulting people for no good reason (sometimes it makes sense but like quickshadow’s accent and how she talks made him so upset). chase is harder to see but he’s willing to do anything to follow the rules and he tends to repeatedly bring up other people’s issues (i dont think i have to explain but like example is little white lies. that whole episode). boulder is very sweet most of the time but the instant heatwave gets in on it he does too. multiple times in the show this has happened (off the top of my head when blades got the scoop claw hw and boulder were laughing at him and when hw made fun of blades boulder laughed, also heatwave was saying blurr was super annoying and boulder agreed).

to be clear this is a good thing. i wanna see more complex characters who are still fundamentally good people!! you can be callous, have low empathy, be egotistical, get angry, make fun of ur friends and still make good choices and still help people. you at your worst and you at your best are still both you, but your worst being bad doesn’t mean your best isn’t good. especially because morality wise the rescue bots are the best people. i mean, they aren’t war criminals (or regular criminals), they don’t physically harm others, they don’t put others at risk (at least not intentionally), and they literally had to pretend to be actual machines while risking their lives every day. these people who treated them as essentially slaves were who they had to protect. and they did it, over and over again, without hesitation. and i think they deserve to be a bit rude for that, and because their meanness comes from caring. if they didn’t care they wouldn’t bother to speak up and be heard, even if it’s in a disrespectful way. but they do.

anyways idk rescue bots brainrot and the concept of a fundamentally good society have been eating away at me.

#they love everybody so much that they snap so often #heatwave cares about his team. when he says someone needs to go its a big deal #because he cares about that member but he also cares about the rest of his team #one wrong move and they’re dead. it’s life or death every day #he doesnt want to invite the day where death will be the winner #blades getting so pissed and confused by quickshadow’s accent and speech was so damn funny tho #i too am confused and pissed by the british #boulder being the nicest kindest most gentle bot immediately going away when heatwave decides to be petty is always delightful #“hmm this person is doing something funny/wrong/objectively dumb but everyone makes mista— oh? heatwave is making fun of them? count me in! #homosexual behaviour #heatwave makes people worse <3 #chase bringing up the oldest shit to make a dig at someone is so silly #you make one mistake and years later he’s still bringing it up #looking at my tags as i write them and hw’s are so serious and everyone else’s are like “lmao silly little guy says silly little things” #rescue bots #tfrb #tfrb heatwave #tfrb boulder #tfrb blades #tfrb chase #transformers rescue bots #transformers

[the-forest-cat]

I’ve never not felt like a leopard. I’ve seen countless posts declaring a fear of a “disconnection” to one’s ‘type. I’ve never experienced this, but there are times when I just can’t focus on what being a leopard feels like.

I mean, I’m a leopard with two full time jobs working ~70 hrs a week. I simply don’t have time to be anything else. And I kinda hate that.

I hate that I have to set aside what I am and focus on “being human.”

There’s no point to this post other than me yelling into the void. I think I’ll try to dive more actively into the otherkin community to try to make nonhumanity a more prominent presence in my life again.

#I need a self care day in general but it would be nice to hear one around my natural behaviors tbh #my post #vent? #saw someone else’s wistful post and got wistful myself lmao #otherkin #alterhuman #alterhumanity #therian #therianthropy #leopard therian #big cat therian

[musubiki]

i think it would be very funny if lime kept stealing all of mochis side quests because he thinks theyre fun even though he doesnt need any of the rewards and everyone is pissed because they could actually use the things she gives in exchange but lime keeps fucking taking all the side quest resources before anyone has a chance to report back

#mochi standing in the hall with the little blue checkmark #(bring me 3 red angle frogs and an empty snapple bottle and i can trade you 5 cafe cakes) #or (deliver these goods to the homeroom teacher in exchange for exam hints) #no one knows how or why she has these things and the mob spell prevents people from questioning it #and when you go look for angel frogs lime is like (haha idiot i already got them all LMAO) #mochi after lime completes the 5th side quest for that day: dont you think you should save some side quests for everyone else-- #lime: you got your frogs didnt you? what do you care who gets them for you? #mochi: i feel bad.. #lime just doesnt like when too many guys start doing her side quests #none of it is romantic but he doesnt like it anyway #and then his fangirls start getting mad too #them @ mochi: no side quests today??? how am i supposed to get you to give this to lime?! #mochi: try again tomorrow i guess...? #its like a multiplayer game where every side quest is a free for all #limes the type to play a game to completion. do all the possible side quests

[trashlie]

In Which I Demonstrate that Nol Cannot Deny Shinae; the man is down bad

(I need someone to understand HOW CLOSE I cam to titling this “I can’t deny your eyes, you know I try to read between the lines” i’m so sorry i’m so very on my pop-punk bullshit right now)

One of my favorite dynamics of Shinae and Nol as a pairing and just in general part of how they interact is that it has been shown to us time and time again that Shinae has so much more power (for lack of better word lol) over Nol than I think has been given credit for sometimes. I think often people get very caught up in how Nol’s so very torn in his battle of what he wants vs what he thinks he deserves and the hurt that he ends up causing that sometimes they miss what the true root of it is: that though Nol genuinely believes he does not deserve good things as well as he believes harm will befall all those he cares about and thus he should stay away from the people he loves to protect them - he can’t. He fails. He tries over and over, he gave Kousuke his word, he makes the effort to pull away, but in the end he always caves, he always fails. 

When it comes to Shinae, his resolve crumbles. 

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

It’s such an important dynamic BECAUSE Nol is such a victim of what he believes and has been made to believe it’s hard to get through to him. How do you convince someone that all the abuse that has traumatized him wasn’t true. How do you take someone like him who has been made to feel that he is nothing but a worthless mistake, that he only creates problems, that he is a monster, that he brings doom wherever he goes that it’s not so? Especially with his own father telling him these things, with Kousuke tearing him down at every opportunity, with what happened when he was locked away, with the fact that Yui can, in fact, bring harm. And has? 

And yet, despite believing these things, despite internalizing that abuse to the extent that he cannot see anything else - his resolve still crumbles. Shinae has such an effect on him that I think deserves to be talked about, because she sees him when others don’t, she cares for him when others are accustomed to him caring for them, she picks up on these little things without being fully aware of them and in turn, Nol cannot help but want to stay close to pull her closer. And that’s exactly why he has to distance himself from her, from his friends - but we know the harder he struggles, the harder it becomes to maintain his resolve. 

I’m a sucker for it! I love watching the war on his face, the expressions that shift, the way he tries to weasel out of situations and ultimately fail because he can’t very well tell her to her face that he can’t be close to her, that he can’t stay her friend. But because he can never draw that boundary, he keeps moving the line in the sand. It doesn’t matter; he always fails in the end. 

This dynamic begins really early in! Shinae I think we could argue some other earlier moments also quality, but for this I want to specifically focus on post-formal moments, because I think what I love especially about this dynamic is that Nol has given Kousuke his word, has determined that he put Shinae in danger by taking interest in her and engaging in an indulgent friendship, and that for the sake of protecting her from further harm (and also due to his feelings of guilt) he needs to keep his distance and ease out of his friendship with her. 

But post-formal it’s not so easy. Shinae has gone from trying to fend him off to a stick to openly expressing concern for him. She now takes a leaf out his book and reaches out to him - over and over and over. 

It would be easy to not call her back. Catch up later and casually brush her off that he had a big family thing, that he fell asleep early. And yet, in the end, he fails and he winds up returning her call. Even though it’s a call for her reassurance, it’s just as much a call for him, taking in her concern for him, that little admission that maybe he is the villain like they think. He has a way of slipping up with Shinae, always confessing something real. She disarms him as much as she pulls him in and GOD I cannot help but adore this dynamic! 

Another thing that goes hand in hand with this dynamic is that not only does Nol struggle to maintain that distance and create a berth of space between them, but he also continues to struggle to not go above and beyond for her. Shinae isn’t good at accepting favors or letting people do things for them, and I think if she knew that he completely took the blame for her tardiness in addition to going out of his way to go pick her up, she probably would get pretty annoyed. But as it stands, he does exactly that - not only takes the blame, but goes out of his way to pick her up. 

It’s something about his expression after their call, when he looks like he’s torn on what to do, or perhaps torn on what is the best option? Torn on knowing that part of him has already made up his mind he’ll go to her even though he’s trying to convince himself he shouldn’t? He struggles with her at all times and ultimately she always has that effect on him - he just is unable to make himself resist, to NOT go to her, to NOT help her. 

(It’s like when he gets mad at how Kousuke is treating her as an employee and calls him out on it! It’s things he doesn’t need to do, but it’s the fact that he can’t help it that betrays how much he cares, how much she affects him, how much he is unable to just walk away.) 

Nol definitely seems aware of this, too. The moment he gives her the opportunity, he won’t be able to push that distance, so he tries to take advantage in the moments he can. Finding Shinae in the locker room leaves him the opportunity to sneak out, but unfortunately for him she takes notice of him and stops him in his tracks. Part of it is, of course, what he told Kousuke - that he can’t just suddenly cut her off without explaining why, and it’s difficult to ease things when she’s the one who keeps reaching out now, keeps grabbing on to him.

But again, we see that his undoing is that he cares. He’s never seen her like this and she’s willing to actually open up and talk about what’s bothering him? It’s so unlike her! (I love him telling her she has to use words because he can’t help her otherwise lol) 

But what this moment demonstrates is, again, just one of my favorite parts - even when he TRIES to distance himself - he angles himself away from her, body turned away - he always ends up angled right back in. Nol and Shinae have this magnetic draw with each other and even when he makes the effort to turn away from her, he can’t help but be drawn back in, angle right back in to her. It’s something really fun to take note of when you reread, watching the way they just veer in towards each other, drift towards each other.

I’m sure he isn’t aware of it. She sure doesn’t seem to be! It’s just gravitational. Where she is, he will move towards. Where he is, she will drift towards. Their body language conveys that closeness! 

For MANY reasons, the moment they share after work, before Shinae starts her shift at the Wac is one of my FAVORITES. I always feel like it’s the clearest representation of this dynamic, too, of how Nol tries to point himself away, tries to push that distance, but he can’t and he even admits why! Nothing will stop him from caring - she has just wormed her way into his life, wormed her way into his heart. He cares about what happens to her, how she’s treated, how she’s doing, how she’s feeling. He cares and he can’t just stop being her friend! He cares and he can’t just pretend he doesn’t. 

It must take a lot of effort for him to consciously be aware of this - having to be conscious about turning away from her, of creating that space that’s so hard maintain. 

None of it was supposed to be real to matter and yet here he is, helpless against her, unable to stop himself from caring. 

To Nol’s credit, we do see him trying to make more effort - but also to his credit, the harder he tries to pull away, the harder Shinae fights. It’s funny and kind of ironic, because he’s one of the reasons she’s trying so hard. He’s the one who has helped her see value in herself and to open up and rely on others, and as a result, she’s practicing all of her new friend skills on him. How is he supposed to keep pushing her away when she’s literally calling him out (because she now knows him well enough to do that!) AND she’s making him talk through things. 

Shinae doesn’t want another Alyssa repeat and she’s not going to let Nol get away with just pulling away without an explanation. What else can he do? 

I like that’s really surprised he actually stayed - he could have faked a call from Nana that he had to head home, could have found some other excuse. But she demanded he would wait and he gave her his word. 

I love them ;A; 

Time and time again, she disarms him. Time and time again his resolve is put to the test and fails when it concerns his feelings, how much he cares, what kind of significance she has to him. Shinae saying out loud that their friendship must not have meant anything being the trigger that makes him finally act on what he always denies himself - a hand reaching out to her over and over that never makes contact, that he always talks himself out of finally making contact and pulling her into that tight, clinging embrace. On the one hand, we know it began as fake, that it wasn’t supposed to mean anything and certainly not to him.

But we know it was so real. We know that there was a moment where he went from trying to help Dieter, to trying to help her instead, to befriending her for his own enjoyment. It was all so very real, even if it hurts in the end. It was all so real to him and even if he needs her to be angry at him, even if he (thinks he) needs to walk away and leave all of this behind, he still can’t bear to have her think none of it meant anything, none of it was real, none of it mattered when it mattered so much to him. When it mattered so much that he finally embraced her!!!!!!! 

EVEN IN THIS MOMENT! HIS RESOLVE CRUMBLES. And though he’s able to pull himself together enough to do what he set out to do, let’s not forget that it was only because he was reminded her of injury, of what he believes was the culmination of him befriending someone and pulling them into the nightmare wake he leaves where he goes. It was only because he was reminded that she could have been another life taken from him that he was able to walk away. 

(And yknow. Proceeded to retch as a result. alfjakfjkafjkafjk) 

He goes as far as blocking Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, because he knows he’ll cave. Because he can’t bear to see their messages, to ignore their calls, to see how much they are trying how hard they are fighting and reaching out, because just like when Shinae questioned if any of it was real, he knows he’ll cave. He has to implement a means of denying himself access to them, to nearly physically block them out. 

And yet, in that moment, at a party he doesn’t want to be at on a day he doesn’t want to exist on the eve of him serving time for a crime he doesn’t deserve, he goes and looks at his spam. 

He knows what’s in there waiting for him. He knows what he’s going to see.

He still does it, anyway. 

And there she is, a message received just now about feelings he feels but thinks he isn’t allowed that he shouldn’t have. 

I love this pathetic man, please I need more. 

He tries SO hard, even after hearing Shinae’s unprompted love soliloquy heartfelt sentimental explanation of what Nol means to her, to turn his back, but he can’t. 

His mother’s words are right there, and though they aimed for Rand, they come to land with him. The world can’t punish you forever. Does he not deserve their love, their friendship, the people who matter to him? Does he not deserve to be left alone by the world, to live his life as much as anyone else?

Even when everything he fears lingers over him - he’ll regret this because nothing good comes of indulging, because nothing good comes from letting them in because not only does it put them in danger but it makes it harder and harder for him. 

Like, not to be cheesy but we already know I am so - every time he lets them down, every time he breaks their hearts, he breaks his own, too. 

There’s no more fighting it. There’s only them and an empty hospital room, and a rare of sense of peace and calm, his head on her shoulder, finding comforting (literally) leaning on someone for once. For one moment, he grants himself an opportunity to stop trying to be so strong, to give in to seeking comfort. 

When she reassures him he’s not at Hirahara Memorial and he actually turns his face in towards the crook of her neck? Allowing himself to indulge in this peace in this comfort in this warmth?

GODDDDDDDD I love it he deserves it I want MORE  

And just like that, he’s no longer fighting. I’m including these even though it’s not really a “Nol tried to refrain and failed in the end” because a. we deserve them and b. I think by virtue of Nol acting on his desires and indulging in what he wants while Soushi and Dieter are sleeping in the bed on the other side of them counts enough for this list. Because refraining is no longer on the brain. Because everything Shinae does disarms him and he can’t even pretend to keep the wall up anymore. 

Shinae gets so embarrassed about giving him her gift because she feels like it pales compared to what Dieter did, but probably also because there is a sense of sentimentality to it as well, and it doesn’t miss Nol. It’s the fact that it’s their Orange of Fate, what she drew on his face, and the words she uttered when they first met that have now been taken back. 

It’s how he went from being told all people suck that she wants no friendship to chasing him outside of his school and fighting so hard for him, calling and texting and trying to reach him, it’s how she took advantage of the opportunity when it presented itself to tell him how she feels and what he means and she got so shy about him seeing this gift and it strikes him so much because he knows what he means to her and she means it, too, she’s that special to him, too

And the hand that earlier in the night reached for the spot she denied him does it once again and this time his fingers are in her hair, this time he’s so close in her space, this time he doesn’t deny himself what he wants and what he wants is to be so close to her, what he wants is to stay in this dream as long as he possibly can 

And the most indulgent of them all. 

Let’s not pretend this is not for him. Let’s not pretend this is the most indulgently he’s ever acted on what he wants. Shinae outrules fullbody dancing and he’s like oh bet? lmaoooooo 

He wants the dance. He wanted it back in Minhyuk’s room before Kousuke showed up and everything went to hell. He wants it now and he’s acting on it. There’s no reason - present in his mind lol - for him to refuse what he wants. 

He has refrained SO MUCH. He has refrained for SO LONG. So many times he reached out to her. The dance offer at the Kim formal that Kousuke stared him down into rejecting. Every time he’s felt suffocated by the weight of the world, by the burden of the guilt he carries, by the inherent belief that he’s a monster incapable of providing good, every time he’s been reminded he only brings people pain, every little moment that reminds him he doesn’t deserve any of the things he seeks out, the enjoyment he indulges in. So much of it has weighed him down and in that moment he acts on it

on what he wants

on what he needs

on what he feels 

He acts on the feelings that she is special that she brings him comfort that he wants and wants when she’s in his proximity

He acts on the dream from which he’s afraid to wake and he asks her to dance with him

Despite his back injury. Despite the whole night reminding him that pain follows him wherever he goes. Despite their friends sleeping just a bed over. 

He gives in and he indulges. 

Honorable mention goes to Nol staying outside Shinae’s door at Hirahara Memorial, despite this being a place of trauma and fear for him, despite how much he hates hospitals, despite Kousuke sending him away. It gets honorable mention because I acknowledge part of what compels him to stay outside her door is that he feels so guilty and he needs to see/know for himself that she’s okay - but I think it still counts because of just how compelling it is for him. That this is a person he has grown to care about so much already, a person who we now know he literally is alive for/because, since it was only when he saw her in the pool that he determined he couldn’t stay down there and had to return to the surface to save her, to carry on as Yeonggi for a little longer. 

He stays outside her hospital room because he can’t help it.

He could go home, he could change out of his damp clothes, he could crawl into bed and try to forget this whole nightmare of a night, if only for a few hours, but instead he stays outside her room, unable to leave. 

At every opportunity, Nol is so compelled by Shinae. 

He cannot deny her. 

If Shinae wants it, he will ultimately yield it to her like he has his heart.

I’m being good and not including anything from 231 but JUST YOU WAIT FOR THE FOLLOW UP, especially those of you who don’t fast pass. JUST YOU WAIT. 

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Stalkyoo #Aegi #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #I would howl in the tags but I've already done my howling throughout this post lmao #this is my FAVORITE Stalkyoo dynamic #i love how Shinae disarms him and he admits little bits of truth #i love how she gets to him in a way no one else has simply by SEEING him #simply by caring about him #because no one else does it like her and when she does it just pierces him #how can he help but want more #how can he help but indulge #how can he help but fall for this person he can never truly turn away from #this person to who he's always drawn #he tries to turn away to face away and next thing he knows his whole body is angled towards her occupying the same space #the way he physically NEEDS to be near her and doesn't always clock it LMAO #WHEN HE PUT HIS FINGERS IN HER HAIR LIKE THAT AFLKJAFAFJLAFJAKLAFKAFJALJAFKJAF #AFLJAFLKJAFLKJFKLJLFAF #AFLJAFLKAJFKAFJAF #I HAVEN'T RECOVERED OKAY #i love him i love them #i love that he cannot deny her he cannot resist her #he has seen the forest for the trees and god they are so majestic god they are so beautiful and fantastical #HOWLS

[mwolf0epsilon]

"Star Wars isn't dead y'all are just haters" "Disney saved Star Wars" "It's the Woke Agenda that ruined Star Wars"

My mans, Disney single-handedly destroyed the Sequel Trilogy despite the Force Awakens being the gateway to something potentially fantastic; MCU'd the Mandalorian (a story which originally had nothing to do with the Prequel and OG Trilogy aside from sharing a universe and exploring a sect of a completely different culture/ideology); ego-boosted both Filoni and Favreau to the point where their OC Verse is not only canon but openly disregarding the Star Wars Universe Bible/Lore; gave us a snippet of what an extremely misunderstood indigenous culture is actually like (instead of portraying them as the savages one of the white leads mislabeled as animals that deserved to be slaughtered) only to then wipe out the tribe we got to know for no reason other than shock value thus alienating indigenous/poc viewers in the most disrespectful way possible; completely threw away the entire message of TCW (that being a clone does not make you incapable of being your own person who has their own thoughts, ideals, moral compass and overall identity) by making TBB (a show that does have it's strong points in set design, soundtrack orchestration and overall sound design, but is extremely weak on both characterization and storytelling because they either make the meaningful plot points stretch too thin or focus on the wrong character completely) their go to show marketed for kids instead of the actual kids programming that people shit on for being for, surprise, kids; constantly disregards valid critique from their consumers (to the point where infighting in the Fandom has gotten extremely ugly) that people either give up on interacting completely or simply vanish and take all their things with them (because no one seems to understand where these critiques come from, or how being unable to admit your special little show is imperfect is actually not a good thing for both you and others).

This isn't even accounting for the fact the Fandom seems to have doubled in it's overall toxicity since Disney took over. Which is par for the course when a mega corporation takes hold of something that started out extremely political in nature anyway. The Cash Cow machine needs feeding after all...

#Eps Talks About: #Funny enough this started as an argument between my sisters #One of which isn't a Star Wars fan and the other who is an OJ and Prequels fan #My mom (who was the one to introduce us to star wars mind you) and I watched from the sidelines #Mom didn't care because she doesn't like Modern Star Wars stuff but I ended up putting an end to the argument #My younger sister is right that Disney put too much emphasis on SELLING Star Wars to newer generations to a detrimental degree #but that doesn't mean they invalidate what came prior to their shitshow or the message SW was created to uphold #in fact Andor and SW Visions S2 made a point of being the best homages to the OJ trilogy thus far by being very political in their messages #But my older sister is also right that the state of Fandoms these days is very much a US vs THEM situation in terms of how people make #themselves heard and how meeting in the middle is virtually impossible which is very much a product of social media and how people conduct #their personal image via either genuinely expressing their feelings on certain topics or simply using them for clout #It is a case of locking yourself in a room with an 'adversary' and trying to see who can scream the loudest until someone loses their voice #I love star wars but that doesn't mean I'm blind to the fact star wars also kinda sucks lmao but oh well these are just my thoughts that #I'm letting loose because I'm already pissed off from something else going wrong today and have no patience for some of the rancid shit #that keeps cropping up in either tags or posts I find in and out of Tumblr Dot Com

[vampirebiter]

im gonna sound like a hater here for a moment so i apologize to my reanimator mutuals. but tbh.. i dont understand why its like. as popular online as it is. like i enjoy it and everything but i dunno i just dont quite get why so many people watch it and are just Instantly obsessed

#like i said i do like it and i am not trying to like. make fun of or look down on people who are really into it! #it just didnt grab me as much as it seems to for everyone else #ive seen it 3 times now and each time ive come away like. well. that was a fun movie :] moving on :] #ghost.txt #kinda the same with saw actually. like. i dont dislike saw. ive seen it too many times to say i dislike it. but it doesnt grab me the same #as it does for a lot of people. #like. with reanimator ive at least seen 2/3 of the movies and dont really feel the need to see the one ive pretty universally heard is not #is not good #with saw ive seen like. 3/10 movies. ill watch them occasionally but like. i dont feel the particular desire to sit down and watch them all #the only one ive ever wanted to rewatch was 1. i could see myself maybe rewatching 3. 2 i did not really care lmao #eventually ill probably watch reani3 and the other saw movies. but like. theyre both in a similar place of i like it but not as much as #as u all seem to

[vaguely-concerned]

I just finished padawan by kiersten white and had a blast with it -- it was exactly the kind of thing my brain craved this week, just some nice character study and adventure story stuff for my brain to chill in. thoughts:

a) I love obi-wan and his poor anxiety-ridden teenage self so so much. peak a delight to have in class to the point of nervous break representation, someone help him. local boy manages to become parentified child to an absent father somehow. that part where he's so afraid he's so bad and useless that the force itself might just decide it doesn't want him after all........ heartbreaking. that's exactly what I would have thought at sixteen too probably. (also my personal headcanon has always been that obi-wan is on the ace spectrum, so that was a very nice thing to find supported in this book! canon is vast and can support any number of stances that way honestly everyone should go hog wild with it in whatever manner they please, but that's always been my vibe)

b) qui-gon fucking jinn if you don't step up and do something to help the child in your charge with his ACTUAL DEBILITATING ANXIETY DISORDER RUNNING HIM RAGGED other than ask him to meditate so help me I will come over there and do maul's work for him ahead of time I swear to fucking god

c) no, really, it says some not very good things about qui-gon's mentorship abilities that obi-wan really only manages to grow and be calmer when he's outside of his influence. I know this book means you to come away with the feeling that obi-wan takes a big step towards enlightenment and adulthood on this trip (and I do think that's also true to be clear!), but there is a part of me that also thinks that just as much as personal and spiritual development what we're seeing here is an avoidant attachment style definitively entrenching itself as a result of having no adult that can be consistently trusted to meet him emotionally. (which also makes a horrible kind of sense, thinking about what obi-wan and anakin's relationship is going to be like in the future -- obi-wan is avoidant and self-contained when it comes to trying to deal with his emotions, and anakin skews far more anxious and towards lashing out, and they never quite understand each other for all the love that is there. you can trace that all the way back here. sins of the master, huh.) obi-wan finds some agency and catharsis in being able to help a group of abandoned children, you say. hm. I'm sure this means nothing and has no parallels in his own inner world. you let the kid think you'd completely abandoned him instead of communicating with him openly for like five minutes. For His Own Good of course. Wow I didn't realize I was this angry about this but here I am once again livid on obi-wan's behalf, actually. 'I'm an incredible teacher and this lack of honest emotional communication I'm fostering in favour of (benign!) manipulation is never going to come back and bite the jedi order in the ass, surely'; the qui-gon jinn story

#as someone who has been asked to meditate to cure mental illness since I was like twelve: obi-wan should be allowed to kill. murder even #star wars #padawan 2022 #obi wan kenobi #I may of course be doing some projecting here but knowing how it turns out..... I don't think I'm entirely off base either #I uh. I wonder a little bit at how the jedi actually approach mental health in general because obi wan is A Mess in this #and no one fuckign seems to notice or care b/c he's obsessive about not making it anyone else's problem lmao #he's been allowed to develop crippling eldest daughter syndrome among a bunch of enlightened force sensitives #there is so clearly a lot of warmth and wonderful things in the jedi temple don't get me wrong at all! but uh. #they've clearly got some weak spots that will also be there by the time it's anakin's turn with the generational trauma lol #star wars meta

[averygayplant]

Since in my Lloyd centric AU, the Ninja are functionally his collective parental figure, there's a silent but very real competition to see who Lloyd settles down to nap with that starts when he's barely a year old and follows him into adulthood, but that's not even the best part.

The best part is that Lloyd has been completely unaware of this rivalry for years, because it's only relevant when he's passed tf out

#The other Ninja are just as competitive about it but rly it's mostly a battle between Zane and Kai #Zane being the defacto motherfigure before anyone else since he was the one who cared for Lloyd the most early on #and Kai because he's a toasty bitch and the very most comfortable to nap on (in Lloyd's opinion) #Kai usually wins lmao #But in general the whole rivalry leads to some really fluffy moments #creature!lloyd #creature lloyd au #lloyd garmadon #zane julian #kai ninjago #ninjago #ninjago au

[roobylavender]

a random thought but i really am very obsessed with how deeply committed bruce is to his love of people and to the extent that it’s a regular divide between him and talia. not that she is without love, no, hardly so, but love will never come before principle for her in the sense that the principle does stem from love, but from a selfless love, not a selfish one. and i use these two descriptors purely as a means of analyzing perspective, so selfless and selfish not necessarily as moral indicators as they are often used today but merely as expressions of whether you’re acting for the sake of others or for yourself. talia is someone repeatedly acting at expense to herself for the sake of others. she gives her child away, she ends her marriage, she doesn’t say a word about it again for years despite having the chance, she takes on a high level espionage mission without speaking a word to her ex-lover, maybe to protect herself, maybe to protect him. whether those were worthwhile decisions to take is certainly debatable, but she acts near strictly from a perspective of caring about others and the world first. bruce is comparatively a very selfish person. every victim an extension of his own trauma, every grief taken to heart, every desperation for companionship so heavily internalized that he ends up pushing people away bc at some point he can’t bear to take them down under with him in his sorrow. it’s funny that he tries to be the rational voice in a room bc up to a point he is, but he also cares too much about his own personal affairs to be that way consistently

and in light of all of that i am thinking about the conversations he and talia must have in that alternate universe where damian is normal and newly revealed to both of them as a concrete concept in their lives, for bruce as the son he never had and for talia as the son she gave away, come back to them by way of fate. why did you never tell me you didn’t actually miscarry. why did you never tell me you had a son and you gave him away. why did you pretend like it was over when it never was. why did you look me repeatedly in the eyes over the years like there wasn’t something more that was there. when you said you couldn’t talk about it before i boarded a plane back home i held my tongue. when you let yourself be beaten within an inch of your life bc your city was falling to pieces i held my tongue. when my father took the contingency plans you made and used them to turn your friends against you i held my tongue. when i worked for a man who would for all intents and purposes use the knowledge of my relationship with you against you i held my tongue

how can bruce, a person so wrapped up in his love for people, not understand the number of sacrifices that talia has had to make for his own sake. her repeated protection of him, of his sanity, of his sanctity, is simultaneously her greatest crime and her greatest benevolence to him. she carried that grief of loss for years and years bc of how important bruce is to her. and bruce loves her, loves damian, too much to even begin to understand what love means outside of the parameters of his own feelings for them. that is his dilemma writ large wrt people he loves. that he can’t see the extent of what they do for him, bc he loves them too much and doesn’t know how to get out of the sheer grief and possessiveness of it

#bruce wayne #talia al ghul #he’s like an asian mom kind of. but yeah like i think this is the one thing i am willing to cede to anti bruce people #albeit it makes me more obsessed with him rather than makes me hate him lmao #like idk i think it’s fascinating how like. inadvertently self obsessed he is #like i really don’t think he does it on purpose he’s simply. incredibly attached to the people he cares about #and that kind of messes everything else up bc it’s like #he does the mature thing. physically. he lets people leave and he doesn’t retaliate against their anger (ntt abuse begone) #he kinda sorta just sits with it. but that’s exactly the problem 😭 like bro. process. process.. #not everything is about you and how sad and pathetic and miserable you are of your own choice! #sometimes you have to think about what other people are doing for you! bc they love you and that’s love too! #you can’t infantilize the people in your life bc you care about them. you can’t rob them of their capacity to care for you in equal measure #personal essays