#but when it comes to my poetry i have no problem being a starving artist. i never made a dollar from my work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sleepyowlwrites · 2 years

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find the word tag CCXXXII

the differences between my cousin (who is sitting next to me) and me are vast, but the most noticeable at the moment is the fact that he is too hot to wear a sweater in this room and I wish I had one. but also I am too lazy to go downstairs and get mine. so I guess I will just suffer. @cielnocturnes and Sounding AGAIN because I have a stack (don't ever stop tagging me thx) @diphthongsfordays

simple (discord poetry .11, 2020)

the problem with fate is that it has no control. what appears to be a maniacal hand destroying the wills of others is, in fact, a simple eventuality that it simply must be. perhaps it didn’t mind that two lovers found each other, but if their strings broken a mere moment later could fate intervene? it was merely the sky and the stars were without mind or desire.

glass (spaces are occasionally invaded, but better with an invitation, 2020)

She fills up spaces by being small and projecting herself out to the boundaries, wrapping around the edges and dripping onto the carpet. Sometimes you’re invited to slink inside the outermost circle, softly initiating contact between personal bubbles. Mostly the lines are drawn in bold and you know not to touch the extremities, much less puncture the glass.

worry (hurried, 2014)

All the cars are useless, all the airplanes walk All the pigeons scramble before they are crushed All the people worry and laugh and sigh All the people know is how to die

plan (killer, 2019)

Your words like bullets come flying Hate to disappoint but I don’t plan on dying If I said they hit then baby I’d be lying ‘Cause you have no power over me You can’t hurt me

peace (searching for myself and soulfulness, 2012)

I sought a way to break this spell And end my agony I heard a solemn tolling bell And cried despairingly I had all but given up My long-enduring quest I surrendered all that I longed for And in peace laid to rest

press (unsweetened tea has its place but I was talking about trees, 2021)

I like autumn and all its cymbals. I like the leaving and the colors, the sounds that aren’t there until the end, when the trees are still blacker than the purple sky and every heartbeat pressed into your pillow sounds like the grandfather clock downstairs.

pile (minding my heart, 2013)

All these red things piled up inside me All these green things piled by the wayside See? My heart is not the same as my mind My mind is not the same as my heart

promise (ellipses of thought .10, 2020)

I was considering: the heaviness of air, the touch of damp upon the stair, the empty promise of rain, the worn out jeans and dirt stains, the shoes with grass on the soles, the fingertips through jacket holes - the quiet of a sleeping house, the need to grouse, the want to be heard, the yearning for answers - the satisfaction of washing dishes, the twinkling hope on soap bubble wishes

poor (pickles at midnight or how I spend my day "writing", 2012)

Visions of me sitting in a drafty attic wrapped in a patchwork quilt in front of a typewriter come to mind. "If I can just finish this revision, maybe my story will sell and then I can buy food!" My future as a poor, starving artist is looking very probable. Youtube keeps me occupied while my characters fight each other with wooden swords and frying pans in my head and the villain argues with the protagonist about the questionable lack of back story. At five o'clock my dad checks on me. "You writing?" I pause my music (Skyward Sword soundtrack) and look at my pitiful work. "I'm writing." (I'm trying, really.)

overpower, overflow, overbearing, overdo, overcast. BONUS: oversimplify, overconfident. @zmlorenz @ellatholmes @writting-in-blood @alexwritesfiction @lothloriien @chayscribbles OR ANYBODY or nobody

#find the word tag #tag game #searching circle #alliteration agency

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jamaiskookie · 4 years

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mutuals (pjmxreader) [bonus:celibacy]

~mutuals~ [youtuber!reader x idol!jimin] social media AU

synopsis: park jimin is a (slightly problematic) idol singer, and he becomes completely smitten with a youtuber after stumbling upon her dance cover to his own song.

genre: fluff, a good dosing of cracK, literally two seconds of angst blink and u miss it

word count: 2.3k

[A/N]: thank you for all the love you’ve given mutuals! can’t believe it’s only been like one week since this blog has been up hehE enjoy this drabble of thirsty!jimin after he found your video. if you have no idea what i’m talking about gO READ THE FIRST CHAPTER

series masterlist

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When JinHit first hit record sales with the success of Jimin’s mini album, and RAPLINE’s first title single a couple years ago, Jin finally gave in to Jimin’s begging and gave all the artists their own personalised studio in the JinHit building. It’s where all the greatest hits on the charts are written. It’s practically the modern eighth wonder of the world, considering the names and talent that have graced the walls.

Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon all have their separate studios to write, produce, and record in, and all three of the small rooms are located next to each other. Partially because of design and common sense, but also so all three friends can conveniently annoy each other when needed. Jin’s office isn’t too far away either, just across the floor. Usually, if they’re all working in the studio, they’ll walk over to Jin’s office during lunch hour and leech off his amazing personal pantry in his office. The office is much, much bigger than their studios, and Jimin never fails to remind Jin that.

All three artists have grown a little attached to their studios. It’s where they do what they all love most, after all. Yoongi barely lets anyone into his ‘Genius Lab’, and ever since a staff member accidentally messed with his coffee machine, he hasn’t let anyone step foot in. Nobody’s even allowed to come inside Namjoon’s studio during what he calls his ‘namjoon talent time’ which is basically just a period of time before comeback season where he locks himself in the studio, writing music 24/7.

He occasionally asks Jimin to listen to his unreleased files for suggestions, but other than that, noone except Yoongi goes inside his studio during ‘namjoon talent time’, and Namjoon only reluctantly lets him in as his bandmate. Not that Jimin minds, he hasn’t been let inside since he accidentally mistook Joon’s studio for his own and brought one of his one-night-stands over. Joonie was horrified, and made Jimin sanitise, wash and clean every part of the room, all while he cried about how his ‘baby was molested’. It was traumatising for both parties.

Out of the three, Jimin’s the least protective over his studio, even though he’s the one who put the most effort into it. He’s spent years perfecting it, making it the best place for inspiration and writing music. Everything in the studio has been personally chosen and thought out by him. The snacks and custom mini fridge, the wall of his entire discography, trophies, music awards, and his personal favourite, the official JIMIN logo sign above the couch.

It lights up in purple.

Despite being a pretty stereotypical assholey partying douche idol, Jimin’s likes to think he’s actually quite talented. He’s been named ‘Most professional idol’ on every single online survey he can find (He’s also always voted for ‘Most handsome’, but that’s besides the point), and it’s true. Jimin never sells himself short. He is a professional musician, singer, and producer. He writes his own music, choreographs his own dancing, and uses his platform to spread positive, meaningful messages. There’s a reason he’s so internationally successful, and it’s because he’s talented.

Maybe right now isn’t a great example of his talent. Jimin was in his studio, holding his head in his hands. Sure, he’s a globally recognised and accomplished songwriter, but to be honest, he hadn’t written a single piece of original JIMIN music since he wrote ‘Filter’ with Namjoon months ago. He was in the biggest creative slump in his entire career. He had tried almost everything, co-writing, exercise, music samples, playing around on instruments. Hell he even tried music therapy. Whatever melody he tried to create, whatever lyrics he tried to write, it all came out sounding like garbage.

Yesterday was a little bit of a blow to Jimin’s ego. It was three in the morning, and he’d been in the studio for seven hours, with only one verse written.

I love to let loose,

Have you ever tried eating moose?

It’s all so bananas,

Tony fucking Montana.

Yeah, it’s pretty embarrassing. It’s not even a verse, it looks more like a kindergartener’s attempt to write poetry. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t really feel like writing music or putting his thoughts in a song. Jimin is just plain out of ideas. He has nothing to write about. And if he doesn’t have good content to put out, he’d rather not put anything out at all.

But he still hates it. All his life, he’s coped by writing, singing and dancing. This writer’s block has been too frustrating. Too many sleepless nights and crumpled papers have been wasted over it, with no progress or music in result. Plus, Jin might be one of his closest friends, but Jin was also a boss, and he still needed more tracks for Jimin’s big comeback, happening end of the year.

He can’t help it. Jimin has nothing left to write about. He opened one eye when he heard the distant ding of his phone coming from somewhere in the studio. Grumbling incoherently, he opened the notification, to find… you.

Jimin’s mouth was hanging open the entire video. His eyes twitched the tiniest bit and he almost dropped the phone when you said his face was “decent”, but he had to watch it again, because the first time around, he didn’t hear a word that came out your damn mouth. He was otherwise… preoccupied. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t tear his damn eyes off the screen. Curse Min Yoongi for sending him this.

He even cringed when he had to bring his sleeve up to wipe the tiniest bit of drool off his face. Practically salivating. What the fuck? How old was he? He was Park Jimin, why was he popping a boner from watching some stranger on the internet dance to his songs? He’s been in the industry for way too long now, he was practically immune to scantily clad women prancing around him. So why he completed concentrated on your stupid little crop top? Not to mention, you were practically insulting him at this point. What was so special?

For one moment, Jimin forced his eyes off the screen, wondering if the sleep deprivation had really affected him that much, or if this was another side effect of the writer’s block he’s been having. It’s the partying ‘clean act’ ban Jin’s been forcing me to go on, he thought, even though Jimin wasn’t totally convinced of that. (Despite swearing not to, he looked straight back to down at his phone afterwards to reply the video.)

He was so fixated on the screen, he didn’t even notice when Yoongi flung the door open and walked inside. Jimin only lifted his head when he heard Yoongi’s obnoxiously loud groan.

“What- When did you get here?” Yoongi recently went back to a fan-favourite hair colour of his, and Jimin was still not used to seeing him with bright mint coloured hair. In his opinion, he looked like a highlighter, but Yoongi seemed to not mind it.

“I’ve been standing here for the past two minutes, drinking my coffee. The fuck you watching on your phone that’s got you drooling?”

“NOTHING.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, and before Jimin could even move away, he managed to snatch the phone away from Jimin’s hands.

“What the fuck- how? You know, this is why your fanbase thinks you’re a cat.” Yoongi ignored his words with ease. “Oh my god,” He said. “Are you watching the video I sent you? I didn’t expect you to actually watch it.”

“I always watch my fan’s videos after a comeback!” Jimin insisted, clawing upwards to steal his own phone back, but Yoongi kept slapping his hands away.

“Yeah, but this isn’t a fan. This is just like, one of your fanboys and a girl roasting you.” Yoongi stared back at Jimin suspiciously when he tried to defend himself. “Why were you watching this girl dance like a starving man, Chim?”

“Just, because- what- I was nOT watching her like a starving man. Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of a pervert!” Jimin finally managed to grab ahold of his phone again, and he threw it behind him on the couch, away from Yoongi.

“Hyung,” He sighed. “I think maybe it’s Jin’s new ‘clean, good boy’ rule. Along with this stupid fucking slump I’ve been having these days, I just don’t feel great, okay? So don’t be so fussy with me. I can’t write, I can’t party… If I want to ogle over some random girl on the internet, I will.” Jimin cringed once the words came out of his mouth, but Yoongi slowly nodded, sitting down on the couch.

Min Yoongi may be a little too gay to understand Jimin’s womaniser ways, but the frustration behind not being able to write music, that, he understood. “You’re trying to justify being a perv by using your mental problems, but I’ll talk to you about that later on.”

“Chim, we all have our slumps. It’s honestly a wonder that this is your first serious creative block. Me and Joon, and every single artist in the world, is bound to go through that at some point. It’s not the end. You’ll still be able to write good music soon, you’re a good writer.” Jimin refused to meet Yoongi’s eyes, even if what he was saying did make a little sense. He just chose to stay silent.

“You just have nothing left to write about. You can’t keep living like this though, Chimmy. It’s unhealthy.”

“What do you mean, unhealthy? I’m perfectly fine, thank you.”

Yoongi stared at him deadpan, gesturing to the entire state of his studio. “It’s a complete mess in here,” He said. “Plus, I don’t think you’ve left this studio for days. The others may not want to say it to your face, but we’re all a bit worried about you. Stop forcing yourself to ingest all these redbulls to try to keep writing.”

“When inspiration comes, it’ll come. You can’t force it, it doesn’t work that way. What you need, is a break. Go back home for once, maybe visit your mom. And for god’s sakes, take a shower please. Trust me, okay?”

Yoongi doesn’t like admitting it, but he’s the most caring one out of their friend group. Anyone can tell from the look in his eyes right now, that he’s genuinely concerned about his friend. He’s also the one with most sense, but Jimin will never tell him that, because his advice, no matter how sensible, is useless.

All he’s known is singing, writing, and throwing himself in work. To just stop? Even if it’s to take a short break, it doesn’t feel right to Jimin. Instead of telling Yoongi his problems, he just poked his tongue in his cheek. If lightbulbs actually popped up above people’s heads when they had a good idea, a massive one would’ve appeared on top of Jimin’s.

“I’ve got it!” He said, excitedly. Yoongi sat up straight. “You’re going to take my advice for once?”

“No, of course not, Hyung. Don’t be silly.” Yoongi slouched his back again, closing his eyes.

“I’ll just hit this girl up!” Yoongi’s eyes snapped open.

“What.”

“Yeah! Who knows, y’know? Maybe I’ve been keeping myself to Jin’s rules a little too well. It won’t hurt the company if I let myself go just once. Blow off some steam, come back fresh and recharged.” Jimin rubbed his hands together like a bad Disney villain.

“It’s too early for this.” Yoongi whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s three in the afternoon.” Yoongi ignored him.

“You really aren’t going to take my advice, huh.”

“Nope!” Jimin said, popping the ‘p’ annoyingly.

“You promised Jin you’d go celibate.”

“I said I’d clean up the partying act. I don’t recall taking a vow of celibacy.” Yoongi just sighed, and fell back down on the sofa, mindlessly sipping at his coffee.

Jimin hesitated. “You’re not going to… tell me not to? Or give me another one of your eco-feminist speeches again?” Yoongi shrugged.

“You’ve heard it too many times. Plus, I have a feeling this is going to be funny.”

“Funny? Hyung, what part of this could possible be funny to you?” There was a brief pause filled with awkward silence, before Yoongi blinked slowly.

“When she rejects you, of course.” Jimin threw his jacket, aimed straight for Yoongi’s head. His stupidly fast cat-like reflexes managed to dodge it, but Jimin scowled at him nonetheless.

“She’s not going to reject me.” Jimin walked over, picking up the very same jacket he threw at Yoongi, before plopping his sunglasses back on his face. “No woman has ever managed to reject me before, and I intend on adding her to that list.” He pursed his lips.

“Plus, she’s super hot. Great ass. Attractive people attract attractive people.” Jimin turned his phone back on once more to sneak one last peek at you in the thumbnail of the video, before stuffing his phone into his back pocket. “I just need to get it out of my system. This might be what I need to get me out of this creative rut!”

He could’ve sworn Yoongi muttered something under his breath, something along the lines of ‘fucking asshole’, but he chose to ignore it.

“Alright, well, see you, Yoons!” Jimin practically skipped out of the studio, startling the producer’s assistant outside with his slightly disturbing enlarged grin.

“Don’t come crying to me when she refuses to get in your pants, you fucking diva!”

Jimin continued walking towards the elevator, but he threw up his middle finger behind him.

“DON’T RUIN MY EXIT, BITCH!”

[taglist:] @notmontae97 @lucedelsole97

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a-walk-in-silver-rain · 3 years

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Hello! So I saw that this account was fairly new and while I was scrolling through matchups I found your account and decided why not? So if it's alright with you, may I request an Obey Me Match-up?

My name is Nox or Ohjuu, afab Agender (he/it/they pronouns), 5'7 feet, has short, fluffy red hair, and my body type is muscular with fluff (pretty thicc in the thighs but shhhhhh insecurities-). My signs are Capricorn (Sun), Gemini (Moon), and Cancer (Rising); my MBTI type is ESTJ / ISTJ and my personality type is 6w5. Just to add a lil tidbit my clothing aesthetic is grudge/flannel/depressed artist/skater boi if that makes any sense? Giving love language is 1, gift giving 2, acts of service, 3 physical touch (all depends on partner.) Receiving love language is 1, Physical Touch and Words of Affrimation (these two are at a tie) 2, Acts of service 3, Quality Time.

Describing my personality may be kinda tough because it always changes depending who I'm around with and everyone will have a different opinion of me no matter what I do. But I would like to think I'm open minded, empathetic, caring, generous, serious and quite, at least that's what I think and I'm usuallythe mom/quite/therapist friend, I should probably mention that despite this not many people come near or even talk to me, probablybecauseof my resting bitch face, but peopleusuallyleave me be, which is good in some cases. Though those are the basic points to myself, however I can't just ignore my bad qualities either, I'm quick to anger depending on the situation, I'll stand up for others but i won't stand up/will take the blame for myself, I'm self sacrificing (I heard told I do that but I just mainly do it on command, to my I do it because it's my way of proving that I care for someone or that I would rather get hurt myself rather than them), I have little to no confidence in myself albeit I actually try to stay that way, and I'm a bit self depreciating....a lot (though that's in private or I make jokes about it-)Though even though I am like this, for self depreciation, and opiate mindset is what I need (Me = self depreciating, Partner = hopefully not the same). And I feel a bit of a cluster fuck when it comes to me or my personality (having wrath actually kinda makes me feel worse because I kind have trauma over people with wrath and knowing I have it makes me feel horrible.)

Hobbies? Well I don't have many but when I'm not on burnout I really like to draw a lot, it helps especially when I need to vent out something (seeing art that was drawn out of sadness or anger you can tell and it's kinda creepy how it does that.) Also coaplay is a favorite pass time as well! Though I don't do it too often, but when I do it's really fun! And finally in 3rd place I have gaming, I wouldn't really call myself a gamer but there are a couple games that peak my interest (Genshin Impact, Pokémon, Hallow Knight are some.) Honorable mentions are Hiking/Walking (I actually mean that), watching some shows/anime, and idk daydreaming I guess?

I should probably mention a few things like interests that hasn't already been mentioned in hobbies. I like to cook, I think I'm a pretty good cook, so I do it, I mostly do savory stuff and I usually like the food spicy though usually my friends/family can't really handle something more than mild, which makes me sad. I actually have an interest in animal science and I hope to become a veterinarian or at least someone that works with animals and if we're talk about animals, dogs or cats? I have to pick both (though exceptoon if the dog is big, I love big dogs), but I really can't choose, but if I get a third option I choose snakes. I use to have an instrest in poetry, but I'm stoped for a bit because not many people like dark poetry (I never really write lighthearted poetry because it always end up being dark even without me trying-.)

Quirks? Not a BNHA reference but I should mention some more things about myself, I'm sensitive to light and crowds, the light makes my eyes hurt and kinda faint and crowds just get me worked up and my flight responses kinda kick in (I usually try to keep my room as dark as possible and secluded because of this.) I kinda have poor memory, and sometimes I remember stuff and sometimes I don't, I have some tics that don't appear too often but when they do I usually make a hissing sound, a weird vocal sound, and with that comes some kind if head twitch, I can control it better in public but some of it slips and it's quite embarrassing. I WILL go into flight or fight mode if I'm being yelled or scolded at or if I hear yelling in general, depending on who it is I go with flight but I will go fight if needed, not only can't I not stand the loudness or tone but I usually don't need people criticizing, scolding, or hating me when I can perfectly do it myself. I shouldalso mention I'mtired almost all the time, even when I sleep well, I just feel sluggish a lot and I just wish I could sleep but I really don't like it because I know I need to get work done but motivation is coming slow these days. Finally umm....also as a defense or regular manurism I hiss and growl, kinda like a cat and/or wolf, usually confuses people enough for me to get away in situations but I sometimes like to do it when I'm angry or when to fuck with people.

And uhhhh yeah that's it from me! I really really really hope this wasn't too much information or if I wrote something down that was triggering OR that I was being a but too self depreciating. Anyways I really hope you have a good day!!

Hiya! Thanks for sending in a request! And don't worry about it you didn't write too much! I hope you have a lovely day/night too! (^_^)

I'd match you with...

Mammon

I think that you and Mammon would work really well together since you've added that your love language for giving is acts of service and physical touch which Mammon is definitely touch starved. And even just small things like touching his shoulder while talking to him or to get his attention would make him a bit happier. As for the acts of service, Mammon is normally the one asking for things like if he needs help with studying. Having some just do something for him or ask instead of him vouln-telling someone to help would kinda confuse him though he'd be happy.

Mammon being Mammon is a tsundere, this means you'll likely be spending a lot of time around him while he says he there because he could tell you wanted him around or something like that. He'd try to help you where he can and do little things he notices, and although he's not the best with words he'd try his hardest to comfort you.

Being the mom/therapist friend would definitely come in handy when with Mammon since he's not great with keeping his impulses and strange schemes in check. Mammon could use someone to just talk to about his feeling and the bullying of his brothers. Being able to have someone who cook would definitely help his eating habits since he eats a lot of cup ramen (I remember something say that in game) since he’s not to great of a chef himself.

I feel like Mammon would be so soft for you, he'd be absolutely terrible at hiding but he'd try in public and in front of his brothers. Mammon's happy watching you cosplay or draw. He might request you try and show him how to do it cause it can't be that hard right? But he'd definitely try and play some of the games you play and suggest some you two might be able to play together. He would definitely get confused by Genshin and how much stuff there is to keep track of. He'd most likely just follow you around trying to help you kill stuff.

I can’t imagine see Mammon not liking any of your pet preferences since I feel like he like dogs more but would totally be chill with a cat. I think you might scare Mammon with you poetry depending on how dark you write each particular piece. He’d be supportive but just don’t read them to him before bed.

The biggest problem with being with Mammon is how loud he can get, he doesn’t really notice when he does so you’ll probably have to bring it to his attention if you want him to quite down. If he ever saw or sensed that you were starting to go into your flight response when in a public area he’d pull you into him or pick you up and run off to a much more secluded area. Lastly there’s no way he’d really mind your ticks and your quirks he might question it a bit at first but if you just explain it he be fine, still might not get it but won’t really question it further.

Thank you so much for the matchup! I hope you liked it! Any feedback would be great!

#obey me #obey me matchups #obey me mammon #matchups #Ohjuu/Nox

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things2mustdo · 3 years

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A while back, I came across a thought-provoking article about r/K selection theory. The basic idea is that r-selected species are adapted for environments with unlimited resources, while K-selected species are adapted for competition. The typical examples of these are rabbits and wolves. As the article explains:

Rabbits (r-Strategy)

They’re herbivores with near unlimited resources (never a shortage for grass).. The virtually unlimited resources are a primary reason why rabbits are not territorial. This is also part of the reason why they opt for breeding often; unlimited resources means they’re not going to starve.

They have no defense against predators other than running. They do not have any loyalty towards their group. It makes no sense for a rabbit to rush to the aid of another rabbit being attacked. Then you’d just have two dead rabbits. Because they can be killed so easy, it makes sense to reach maturity as quickly as possible so they can begin birthing children.

Hierarchies are pointless in rabbit society. Rabbits lives are rather simple; eat grass and run away from danger. There’s no need to invest heavily in their offspring. As such, there’s no need to prove who’s the superior (alpha) and the best candidate for passing on their genes.

Wolves (K-Strategy)

They’re carnivores that must hunt to survive. Hunting requires more intelligence and training than grazing on grass. Due to the increased difficulty of hunting compared to grazing, more time is invested in training the offspring to survive.

Because prey is limited, wolves must viciously protect their territory from intruders. While it might seem heartless, if another pack is allowed into their territory the supply of prey will be exhausted and both packs will starve to death.

Wolves are monogamous/pair-bond. Because raising the offspring is so important for the continuation of the species, the wolves will pair for life in order to raise their young. As such, they will choose the best mate they can find to further improve their chances of birthing strong, healthy cubs. This process of choosing leads to hierarchies with an alpha male leading the pack. Wolves also wait longer before reproducing and generally have less offspring. If they reproduced early and often, there would be too many wolves for the ecosystem resulting in the consumption all the prey and starvation.

Wolves are more complex. This is true for carnivores in general. Because carnivores typically live in groups, they must have more sophisticated ways to communicate. The same is true for their domesticated brethren. Look at a dog and you can easily identify if he is scared, happy, angry, or bored by his body language and barks. Can you tell the same moods on a rabbit?

This isn’t a completely binary distinction. For example, some herbivores (such as bovines) will flock in packs and defend themselves. Lions are more K-selected than domestic cats.

The social angle

Humans are mainly K-selected; that’s what is natural for us. There are individual differences and statistical outliers, of course. As an extreme example, imagine two brothers; one picks up Atlas Shrugged and is inspired to become a successful businessman, and the other reads the Communist Manifesto and then continues to live in Mom’s basement where he smokes weed and posts social justice memes on 4chan all day. Compare also the factory worker who is a pillar of his community and is proud to bring home the bacon to his wife and kids, versus the starving artist who has yet to produce much of value.

Differing societies have their own average balance between r and K selection. Those mostly r-selected tend to be more collectivist; those more K-selected are generally individualist. In isolation, societies find their own level and work out what’s best for them according to their own unique cultures. When one group enters another group’s turf, problems can happen. I’ve already described how this was a factor in my witty take on the demise of the Neanderthals, who might have been too progressive to survive, rather than too backward as is often assumed. That, of course, was an analogy for what’s going on in today’s society.

This even has implications for mating strategies. What we’d now sometimes derisively call “provider game” used to be the only game in town, and was natural for our society at the time, as it had been since antiquity. After the Sexual Revolution, all the rules changed seemingly overnight, and what used to work became ineffective. The flowers, gifts, and poetry stuff once showed you were dependable and good-natured, which (believe it or not) used to be desired qualities. That will get you Friend Zoned now.

The weird thing is that today’s game strategies are an adaptation in response to our society’s unnatural shift from K-selection (where being hard-working and stable is valued) to r-selection (where being “exciting” and flashy is valued). This is why in today’s dating arena, those continuing to use traditional courtship strategies are like fish out of water. These days, being at least somewhat game-aware is pretty necessary even to get a steady girlfriend. These differing strategies lead to much confusion about what best exemplifies an alpha—a socially savvy and successful man, or a meth head ex-convict with missing teeth and a high “notch count”?

The political angle

Ideologies tend to support either K-selection or r-selection as a model for society. Now consider the part quoted about rabbits given above. Which ideology favors handing out unlimited free goodies, is anti-military, puts down traditional morality, believes in gun control, despises their own society, will run from a fight, seeks to eliminate the consequences of promiscuity, considers any hierarchy to be “privilege” or “oppression“, and doesn’t believe in self-improvement?

That certainly hits the highlights of the culture war. This presents a new perspective on why Social Justice Warriors want to re-invent society their way. All along we thought it was only cultural Marxism, but maybe there’s something even deeper going on psychologically with the SJWs.

This is reflected in policy arguments too; compare Bush the Elder’s “family values” with Hillary’s “it takes a village to raise a child”. As we can see, quite a bit of leftist ideology is basically about turning human society from the K-selected model into one friendly to the r-selected model. Two competing ideologies (or two societies living in the same space) with differing ideas about these things will come into conflict. The more K-selected ones will get themselves dragged down by the others if they let it happen, or even destroyed. Also, take a look at any bad neighborhood; consider it a low-investment parenting theme park.

In the wilderness, these things wouldn’t happen. Apex predators don’t tolerate rivals coexisting in their own turf. The smart lion drives away a pack of hyenas, and the smart bear chases away the foxes. In human societies, this has worked out quite differently, especially when clever manipulators weaponize our own societal values of tolerance, fairness, and all the rest of it against us.

The greatest problem is that we don’t actually have unlimited resources available to meet our wants and needs, like rabbits in a grassy field. All the free goodies a government hands out must come from taxpayers, with bureaucrats getting their piece of the action. (So who are the predators in that situation?) As Margaret Thatcher put it:

I think [The Labour Party] made the biggest financial mess that any government’s ever made in this country for a very long time, and Socialist governments traditionally do make a financial mess. They always run out of other people’s money. It’s quite a characteristic of them. They then start to nationalise everything, and people just do not like more and more nationalisation, and they’re now trying to control everything by other means. They’re progressively reducing the choice available to ordinary people.

In the Communist world, those faced with the task of implementing the silly theories of Karl Marx had to ration resources, which resulted in inefficiency and corruption. Things didn’t go according to theory, obviously. Ideologies out of touch with reality become dysfunctional pretty quickly.

The endgame

Now here’s something even more disturbing. In advanced species, adulthood means being able to fend for oneself. In the beginning, people relied on families and tribes (extended families writ large) for resources, protection, and support. Some degree of interdependence in a community is natural to us, since organized hunting and agriculture increased the odds of survival, and thus we’re social creatures. The head of the household called the shots in the family, and the chief led the tribe.

At the dawning of civilization, related tribes bound together into nations. The model of families living under kings was the norm up until the Age of Enlightenment, with the main drawbacks that the nobility (and those close to them) got rich at the expense of others, lorded it over their subjects, and sometimes got into short-sighted wars. Afterwards, the transition into democracies moderated some of these problems, though graft and corruption and badly-conceived wars still happened.

Now we’re moving into the “New World Order” model, where a few thousand plutocratic elites around the world use their wealth and influence to implement managed democracy, get into spit-in-your-eye wars, and other forms of skullduggery to influence things their way. They’re pushing to open the borders, erase national sovereignty, turn the diverse peoples of the world into a mass monoculture, and they’ve conspired to make the public unaware and compliant.

Overall, the elites are causing increased dependency on the nanny-state governments, which meanwhile neglect the public’s safety and well-being. They’ve shown great hubris, trying to live as kings and make us their serfs. Meanwhile, young adulthood has become increasingly an extened adolescence, and these days many are seeming more childlike than ever. The more all this goes on, the less citizens resemble independent adults.

The extreme model of this in the animal kingdom is with some insect species, such as ants and bees. Joseph Sobran used The Hive as a metaphor, and so have I. If you don’t feel like being one of their worker bees, or a neutered drone, then it’s time we get the globalists off our backs.

Read More: Cultural Collapse Theory: The 7 Steps That Lead To A Complete Culture Decline

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madiiko12 · 4 years

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new york’s very own madison ‘madi’ ko was spotted on broadway street in chanel sneakers . your resemblance to kim chungha is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-first birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being obsessive , but also ambitious . i guess being a virgo explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be glittery eyes, dangling earrings, & chanel draped in pearls. ( cisfemale & she/her) + ( kale, 20 , she/her , est. )

hi honeybuns !! im back and with child. there is a brief mention of an ed under the cut but i block it off with a tw start & end. if you’d like to plot pls leave a like and i can dm you or hit you up on discord !! my discord is kale#3079

BACKSTORY

haneul madison ko was born september 18, 1999 to two immigrant parents from S.K. her birth name is haneul, but she went by the name madison since it was easier to pronounce + madi began to almost detest her culture??

it was just that growing up she would sometimes get bullied for looking different at her school, for the way her packed lunches smelled/looked, the way people would stare if she spoke korean to her parents, how other kids would make fun of her english since she didn’t pick up on vocab/grammar as quickly since she didn’t practice at home with her parents. she just became SO insecure about it that she rejected her culture. she wouldn’t bring her mom’s food to school, if her mom ever forced her to take it she’d throw it away and choose to starve instead. she wouldn’t speak korean back to her parents in public, barely even in private (which reeaaallly upset her parents). this also REALLY destroyed her korean language skills. she can understand still, but she can barely hold a basic conversation anymore.

as she grew up, and continued this sense of distancing herself from her culture, she ultimately distanced herself from her family. which left her feeling - - alone often, even though it was all due to her own choices. in this loneliness, she found her escape in music. she would wear headphones constantly through the halls, in car rides, in her room when her parents yelled at her to turn the music down. she just loved music. she saved up the money her parents gave her whenever she worked at the nail salon (her parents owned it!!) to thrift an old keyboard. she became self-taught by trying to copy melodies of songs she’d listen to, thrifting piano lesson books, staying after school with the music teacher learning to play. sometimes she’d even skip lunch to sit in the chorus room with her choir director and play.

it’s not that she had a LACK of friends growing up, maybe just that she lacked a best friend. she had a lot of friends, but no one that she felt so connected to in the way she felt connected to music. perhaps, she was addicted to her loneliness.

she spent a lot of time playing the piano and dabbling in writing music that her grades started to fall (not that she was ever the BEST student) and her parents literally took away her piano. they said it was a waste of time because they wanted her to focus on doing well, so she could get into a good university, and then live a good life. music was just a distraction

but that didnt work

she would sneak out into the city to go to concerts and poetry readings. she’d sneak out and go to indie songwriters scenes while her parents thought she was at the library with one of her school friends

This underground scene had her full heart!! she was surrounded by likeminded people who just lived for music. she was hearing all of these incredible people who were all looking for their start. maybe not looking for anything at than just to sing their songs. tbh i think this was the point she was happiest. she was completely enveloped in music, just for the sake of music. There wasn’t any pressure, just music. Just the songs. she was wide eyed looking at this whole underground scene of artists. So maybe some plots from these underground charas?!

she’d perform some songs at karaoke nights and the indie sessions, and a producer took a keen interest in one of her songs. basically im kind of stealing halsey’s career start, but she posted a song Came in Close on SoundCloud and just blew up overnight. in the morning, she woke up to a record label asking her to fly to LA for a meeting.

and thus, Madison Ko began a career as Madi Ko where she’d release her debut album, Honey, a few months later. (DISCOGRAPHY HERE). her music is very 80s synth inspired!

new album that is most definitely CRJ’S EMOTION is coming soon...

PERSONALITY

right off the bat, madi is an absolute firecracker!! she’s loud, bursting with personality, has a lack of inhibitions that CHAOTICALLY mixes with her spontaneity

part of this is projecting her insecurities. she felt lonely as a child but doesn’t want to be seen as that to the world. it’s not so much a persona but an exaggeration of who she was.

she likes to show off her glam bc it, once again, hides her insecurities.

she just kind of is dramatic anymore

like everything about her

her persona as Madi Ko, upcoming popstar underdog, is like DUNKED in glitter, over the top stages and sets, draped in couture. basically her stages/outfits/dances/mvs are like Chungha’s but with Pale Waves and Carly Rae Jepsen VC. ex: 1, 2, 3, 4

also bc im obsessed with chungha’s famous diamond wink, IT’S GONNA BE MADI’S THING TOO. so basically madi has trended on twt a few times bc of her signature diamond wink bc she effing glues rhinestones and glitter under her eyes for performances !! she said fuck corneas !! ex: 1, 2, 3 ....god chungha is magical

so while madi is like a brand hypebeast n never shuts up, she can also get,,, easily annoyed. and heavily perceives ppl on first impressions despite that being the reason she felt misunderstood a lot growing up.

definitely argumentative!!! will blow up arguments for no reason n then later questions why she made it such a big deal but cant own up to her mistakes

when she decides she doesnt like you, SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU. it’s done. bridge is burned, she’s not keen on second chances

fame has definitely given her a bit of an ego problem --- she’s a bit more aggressive, self-obsessed while intrinsically insecure, is too busy flaunting her material possessions and trendy life that she can...lose touch of reality. basically most of her high school friends cant stand her. HC that her high school bf broke up with her bc she was no longer was the madison ko he knew!!! so if anyone wants to be that ex lmk !!! she’s written songs about them!!!

definitely the type of girl who is so hype at a party, dancing in fallen confetti, standing on the fireplace mantle, but then midway realizes she’s lonely. sad at a party.

ED TW STARTS!!!!!

....

she kind of always had body image issues growing up, but it was very off and on, but once she got signed and being by surrounded by cameras became normal she formed a full fledged ED. she’s passed out at concerts a few times bc of her ED, but they always brush it off as “not enough rest” or “she wasnt feeling well that day but pushed to perform anyway as to not disappoint the fans”

so feel free for ur muses to point it out !! she’ll get really defensive like “i eat i just work out a lot” and yeah it’s true she works out a lot but she...doesn’t really eat

it’s also one of the causes of her irritability ...

.....

END ED TW!!!!

idk why this is so long

always up for mischief!

does love a good prank. asks weird hypotheticals

is not scared of an ouija board

will get wasted off a few shots and drunk madi is UNSTOPPABLE

one time drunk madi cried bc her siamese cat (MOCHI !!!) wouldn’t ever get to go to school and would never know chemistry..... the dramatics.....

she is sensitive and despises it. she does everything she can to not come across as sensitive

however, she’s so obsessive. so deep in feeling. when she feels something she FEELS it. when she is mad it boils through her. when she is in love it is all she knows. when she is sad it covers her like sweaters and blankets on rainy days. she doesn’t know how to half-feel. everything she feels stops her in her tracks.

HOWEVER she’s the most obsessive with her own insecurities — so in relationships she’s kind of known for tapping out early. she just gets scared and the fleetingness of her career and that she’s at her very core, lonely and disappointed in herself, makes her want to run away thinking that letting down her walls and being vulnerable could only be disappointing for her SO. so maybe she ghosted ur chara or gave some lame excuse

Kind of obsessed with how she’s perceived

terrified that at any moment her career could be thrown away, her deemed irrelevant, and she goes back to being Madison Ko, daughter of nail techs in Koreatown. and then her parents would have been right all along, music was a waste of time.

she’s just my little fallen angel who flew to the sun (fame) and it constantly eats away at her girlhood, at her heart.

anyways this is all i got rn <3 come love me sorry i kind of didn’t shut up this is long

WANTED CONNECTIONS

an ex from before she was famous who broke up with her because of how she changed!! PLEASE i have ideas for this. plus,,, you get a lot of songs about ur chara!!! could be from high school, maybe someone in the music scene she frequented before she was signed, anything!!

anothr ex/fwb/undefined relationship i’d love is one when she was first famous who just introduced her to everything. something like a whirlwind that was exciting and magical. she’s written songs about this person.

exes in general.

hookups/fwb

romantic plots. pls i have songs who need meaning. friends to lovers, one sided (either way), slowburn, ANYTHING. love cruel summer plots, anything lover by tswift

PR relationships -- would LOVE one where she falls in love with the other despite how clearly defined they made their relationship

love triangles in general just get me going

best friend!!!! the one’s who know how the other feels just by looking at each other. they have countless sleepovers. tell each other everything. cry together on bathroom floors. pregame together.

ex friends. for whatever reason -- maybe madi did smth shitty, maybe they did. maybe there was backstabbing, maybe madi sacrificed friendship for a career, maybe she made moves on their romantic partner/interest despite being fully aware. idk. gimme

People she knew from the underground/indie scene before they were famous!! they’d have bonded over their love for music, little indie dreams kind of vibe. just imagine a group of dreamers !! Would love if they made some kind of pact!!!

party friends

collabs !!

pranks. mischief. gimme

enemies. gotta cook up some drama, yknow

GIRL GANG. god i just want this so bad like make a girls dream come true

#wealthyhq:intro #zoo wee mama #pls love me honeybunnies #tw ed

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pedra-ring-blog · 5 years

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Top 10 Greatest Leonardo DiCaprio Movies of All Time

Source We all love Leo for his promising performance. May he be a bad boy, a romantic boyfriend, or a mentally-ill child, we couldn't deny the fact that he's an incredible actor. Plus, he's the King of Freak-Out scenes! Now, let's find out his top 10 greatest movie roles of all time. 1. Titanic

His most popular movie performance of all is playing Jack Dawson in the award-winning 1997 movie, Titanic. This box-office, record-breaking movie that stunned millions of people across the globe has made a worldwide phenomenon that goes deep down in history. Besides the heart-breaking story of the tragic ship, there's also Leo and Kate's chemistry that binds the audiences into a more level of attachment. No doubt, it's still the summit of Leo's career, and one of the greatest old-school movies to come out of Hollywood in the last 20 years. Fun facts: Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet committed to the film even before the script was written, on the basis only of a 165-page outline James Cameron had written.The hands seen sketching Rose are not Leonardo DiCaprio's, but director James Cameron's. In post-production, Cameron, who is left-handed, mirror-imaged the sketching shots so the artist would appear to be right-handed, like DiCaprio.Both Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio learned how to dance the polka for the scenes set at the party in the third-class compartments.Johnny Depp was offered the role of Jack Dawson, but turned it down, and considers it a big regret. 2. What's Eating Gilbert Grape

Source In this emotional, tear-jerking movie, our young Leo plays Arnie Grape, who is a mentally handicapped teenager. He's the younger brother of Gilbert (Johnny Depp), who struggles to bring their family out of difficult circumstances. Leo's performance as a mentally disabled teen is so convincing, it'll make you think that he's definitely not normal at all. This movie brought our young Leo to his first Oscar-nominated role. It's just so sad that he won't be able to tell his "Mamma" about his Oscar award, because she won't wake up anymore. Fun facts: Leo said that playing Arnie Grape was "the most fun I've ever had."When getting into character, Leo remarked of it. I spent a few days at a home for mentally retarded teens. We just talked and I watched their mannerisms. People have these expectations that mentally retarded children are really crazy, but that isn't so. It's refreshing to see them because everything's so new to them."Leo created Arnie's trademark flicking his finger against his nose, describing it as a sort of "brain wipe...like Arnie is massaging the inside of his brain."Leo really did not bathe during the period in filming when Arnie refused to go near water! 3. Romeo + Juliet

Before Leo had the role of Jack in Titanic, he's already a hot icon for being the handsome, sexy, and romantic boyfriend that every single ladies dream of having. Set in the modern era, Baz Luhrmann's histrionic, gang-war-filled setting take on the classic play. Although Kate and Leo's chemistry is so much perfect in Titanic, it is undeniably true that Leo and Claire's pair up is also stunning. Fun facts: Leonardo DiCaprio's version of Romeo's speech at Juliet's bier was so good it movedClaire Danes to tears, nearly ruining the scene. The moment the director yelled "cut!," Danes smacked DiCaprio on the arm and said, "Don't make me cry. I'm supposed to be comatose, here!"Leonardo DiCaprio was Baz Luhrmann's first choice to play Romeo.Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio initially did not get along well on set. Danes accused Leonardo DiCaprio of being immature, while Leo said Danes was just uptight. 4. Catch Me If You Can

Source Who would've thought that this handsome, good-looking man is a fugitive? Not in real life though, but in Steven Spielberg's hit movie, "Catch Me if You Can". Leo is Frank Abagnale, a real-life con-man who traveled around the country and lived the high life as he impersonated pilots, lawyers, and doctors. Leo's acting from one character to another is just so promising, we'll all convinced that he's not just impersonating. Fun facts: To get her to achieve the way he wanted her to sloppily kiss Leonardo DiCaprio, Steven Spielberg asked Amy Adams to pretend she was starving to death and eating a cheeseburger.According to the real Frank Abagnale Jr. approximately 80 percent of the movie is true.When Frank begins recruiting decoy flight attendants; when announcing the girls picked he announces the actresses by real name.17-year-old Frank tells Brenda he's 28 years old, which was Leonardo DiCaprio's true age when Catch Me If You Can premiered in 2002. 5. The Departed

Source One of the most intense roles that Leo ever had was playing the role of Billy Costigan as a cop infiltrating the mob. Together with Matt Damon as a mobster infiltrating the police force, the film is an intricate, fascinating tale of competing cat-and-mouse games. However, the film director and his screenwriter infuse it with so much tragedy that it winds up becoming something almost mythic. But seeing Leo's performance is just so intense, in a totally unglamorous way by being a desperate man who almost loses his identity. It's one of his all-time greatest performances. Fun facts: Leo could've won an Oscar award for this movie. A possible reason why he did not receive an Oscar nomination for his performance in this movie was because the Warner Bros. Studios initially did not want to favor him over his co-stars and place him in the leading actor category. The studio favored his leading performance in Blood Diamond (2006) (which eventually got him a nomination). DiCaprio himself refused to campaign against his male co-stars in the supporting actor category, so Warner bought no supporting actor ads for DiCaprio, and he did not receive a nomination.Leonardo DiCaprio was cast in the title role in The Good Shepherd (2006).Leonardo DiCaprio called his one-on-one scene with Jack Nicholson "one of the most memorable moments of my life." 6. Django Unchained

Source Playing the matured role of a slave owner Calvin Candie in a smooth and attractive way is definitely a credit to Leo's amazing talent. His dirty, racist, and demented heart on Quentin Tarantino's hit movie "Django Unchained" brought him into a remarkable role of being the bad guy playing his cards on a sophisticated way. This is a man who breeds and forces his slaves to fight each other, who has a weird fascination with France, and who is, at heart, a murderous psychotic. Fun facts: When Leonardo DiCaprio's character Calvin Candie smashes his hand on the dinner table, the actor accidentally crushed a small stemmed glass with his palm and really began to bleed. DiCaprio ignored it, stayed in character, and continued with the scene. Tarantino was so impressed that he used this take in the final print, and when he called cut, the room erupted in a standing ovation. DiCaprio's hand was bandaged and he suggested the idea of smearing blood onto the face of Kerry Washington. Tarantino and Washington both liked this, so Tarantino got some fake blood together.During the filming of one of the dinner scenes, Leonardo DiCaprio had to stop the scene because he was having "a difficult time" using so many racial slurs. Samuel L. Jackson then pulled him aside telling him, "Motherfucker, this is just another Tuesday for us." 7. The Basketball Diaries

Source Another young Leo movie, this is just one of the many proofs that Leo was born to act. His role in the movie adaptation of Jim Carroll's memoir, The Basketball Diaries, is a big shift from playing the sweet, innocent, and mentally-challenged Arnie in "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" to a high school basketball star, who eventually becomes broken, and worse, a homeless drug addict. But Leo's flexible character made him so amazing in this movie, which brought a dramatic atmosphere in his struggles as a broken teenager. Fun facts: The guy Jim talks to in the underground drugden, is the real Jim Carroll.Leonardo DiCaprio and Juliette Lewis previously appeared together in What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993).This is the first film with Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Wahlberg. They would later appear together in The Departed.Jim Carroll was unaware of who Leonardo DiCaprio was at first. "When they first told me it was gonna be Leo, I didn't know who he was," Carroll told The Los Angeles Times. "If they'd said the kid from Growing Pains (1985), I would have known, because when I first saw that kid, I said, 'This kid has a lot of presence.' I said, 'That kid is very pretty. He's gonna do well.'"To prepare for his role, Leonardo DiCaprio hung out in Greenwich Village and went to a poetry reading with Carroll. 8. The Aviator

Source This movie is another Martin Scorsese's. Leo plays the role of Howard Hughes in his early years of being an inventor, and at the same time, a bigtime millionaire businessman. He's facing a lot of problems in almost everything. As he tries to continue chasing his plans and dreams, there are times when he's about to get mad, and Leo's characterization on this part of Howard's life is truly convincing. He's definitely a great actor for this movie. Fun facts: Leonardo DiCaprio spent a day with Jane Russell to hear her memories and impressions of Howard Hughes. She was very impressed with DiCaprio's visit and told him that Hughes was a quiet yet extremely stubborn man who always got his way in the end.Howard Hughes' Los Angeles home in the film was actually the home he lived on Muirland Drive.Leonardo DiCaprio received an Oscar nomination for playing Howard Hughes.Leonardo DiCaprio (standing roughly 6ft) is several inches smaller than the actual Howard Hughes (6ft4). 9. Revolutionary Road

This 2008 movie is kind of special, as Leo and his Titanic partner Kate were reunited for this adaptation of Richard Yates' classic novel "Revolutionary Road". This movie is mainly about suburban despair and two adults who realizes that life is not as easy as one-two-three. Contrary to their adventurous and colorful characters in Titanic, their roles in this movie is matured and somehow full of problems. Leo's excellent performance in this movie is his signature freak-out, where we're all stunned and scared for a moment as he burst out his anger and disappointment. Fun facts: While directing the love scene between Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, director Sam Mendes (husband of Winslet at the time) opted to watch the monitor from another room.This was the second movie Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet worked on together since Titanic (1997). Paramount Pictures, which distributed the early film in the U.S., was the worldwide distributor of this film.This film marked the second time Kate Winslet has been in a movie where she makes love in a vintage car, and someone's hand hits the window and slides down it in the throes of passion. The first time was in Titanic (1997). 10. The Man in the Iron Mask

Source After the success of Titanic comes this movie. Leo, who played the sneering, playboy King Louis XIV with his long-imprisoned twin has become a hit after Leo's stardom in Titanic. Young Leo was so versatile, he was able to play two different characters in one movie! Besides, we can also see Leo in his elegant robes while hiding the fact that there's something more dreadful in those shiny dress. Fun facts: Leonardo DiCaprio's mask was made out of polystyrene.Louis XIV did have a brother named Philippe, but he was not a twin. He was several years younger, a flamboyant homosexual, and had the title Duc d'Orleans.MGM discovered the audience the movie attracted was "directly related to appeal of Leonardo DiCaprio", being 55% female and 46% under the age of 25.The film cast includes two Oscar winners: Leonardo DiCaprio and Jeremy Irons; and two Oscar nominees: John Malkovich and Gérard Depardieu. Read the full article

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it-might-be-wordless-blog · 6 years

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Goner + migraine?

goner: have tøp helped you with your mental health at all?

Absolutely. A long time ago, I wrote a letter about this very thing. It was never really meant for anyone, it was just something that I needed to release. It’s very long. It’s very personal. However, I’ve made a promise to myself and others to always be true; there is healing in speaking your truth (in responsible transparency,) for both the speaker and the listener. Maybe some of you can relate. Maybe relatability is one of many doors to understanding and growth.

So here you go: ‘I’ve spent a majority of my life feeling lost. Evensurrounded by a family who loves me, I’ve felt completely alone, isolated, andmisunderstood. I struggle to put my thoughts and feelings into words that myloved ones will understand; that anyone will understand. Why do I feel the waythat I do about the world? About myself? Why am I only ever temporarily happy?Fleeting moments of joy, but always coming to an abrupt end; sometimes soquickly, into such a deep, dark, and toxic despair, the emotional whiplashleaving me exhausted. Always soexhausted; more than physically, but deeply, my soul itself drained.

As a teenager, I absolutely hated myself. There was nothingthat I could do that was enough to make me love myself or my appearance. Itdidn’t matter what anyone had to say. People always have something to say. Iwas bullied because I was a little different, looked a little different, but nomore so than anyone else. (Doesn’t everyone look a little different? Aren’t wesupposed to?) Kids can be mean. I don’t think that anyone escapes childhoodwithout a little verbal nastiness from their peers; so I’m not going to blamechildren. I was a child myself. In many ways, I’m still a child; always willbe, I think. I don’t blame them anymore than I blame my grandfather formolesting me. Or for the men who harassed me. They were sick, too. Do thesethings affect me? Of course. Of course.

But I think, maybe, my brain has alwaysbeen a little sick. Or maybe I was predisposed to illness? Is it intelligence?Or lack of? Maybe all of these things.

If I had understood why, then perhaps I wouldn’thave done what I did to myself. I remember the first time that I purged, andhow ashamed I was of myself; how can anyone be so petty, pathetic, so vain? There are people with ACTUALproblems, and look at you; hugging a toilet, fingers down your throat, wastingfood, wasting good tissue; that burn can’t be good.

Oh, but it was.

That burntook away the other in my brain, and for the rest of that day, in this sick,twisted nonsensical way, I felt a littlebetter about myself; now I have control over this; a button, a switch that Ican flip at any time to make this dark thing cower, for just a little. Thatturned into six years of binging, purging, starving myself, constantlyexercising, not sleeping, crying, feeling horrible; but it was aboutcontrolling that dark thing, right? (I see now that on that day, I gave ITcontrol.)

Art has always been the constant. Creative expression alwayshelped me work through whatever this was. Drawing, writing, piddling around on a keyboard or a guitar; somethingto distract myself long enough to get out from under that dark thing. I’ll show you that I’m worth something; Ican make things, beautiful things with these fingers. You can ruin things with them too.

I remember the first time a song really touched me on alevel so deeply that it literally knocked the purging right out of me. When Itell people, I feel ridiculous. “I listened to a song on repeat, and suddenly Ididn’t need to purge or starve myself anymore.” What?

‘No, you can’t keep lettingit get you down, and you can’t keep dragging that dead weight around. Cause ifyour mind don’t move, then your knees don’t bend. When the morning comes: letit go, this too shall pass.’

Justsome letters thrown together to form a few simple words, but they were theright ones. I’m not telling you that myeating disorder was cured, just like that; the thoughts didn’t go away, theySTILL haven’t, but it gave me the strength necessary to control my urge topurge. No more self-harm. At least, not physically. (But then, isn’t it ALLphysical?) It’s almost comical, really, to think that almost as soon asI defeated that particular bit of nastiness, that demon, if you will, I becameaware of a much larger, much more draining gaggle of demons. I spent so muchtime worrying about what other people thought of what I looked like, (as if I could have helped that AT ALL; as ifthat should even be an issue for ANYONE,) what others thought of how I acted andwhat I thought, that I had completely neglected my internal self, and what Iwanted, who I wanted to be. I found myself already married. I had already givenup the one thing that I had always turned to; I had been accepted into arenowned art school, but turned that down for the sake of ‘practicality,’ andpartially because, unsurprisingly, I let the opinions of others control my ownthoughts. The death of that dream hurt so badly, but more because I let ithappen without fighting for it. Complacency can be a killer. I didn’t pick up apencil for two years.

The world itself is incredibly disheartening. The people init, the truly bad ones, make it so hard to have faith in anyone, in anything;to trust. Why should I ever make myself vulnerable to anyone? Keep to yourself,kid. Don’t let anyone in, and no one can hurt you the way they hurt others. Butthat hurts too. What is the point, if not to connect? What is the point of thisif there is only ugliness all over the world. Selfishness, waste, violence,ignorance, and hurt; so much hurt. Everywhere. Children, men, women, animals,the planet itself. Constantly bombarded with images and stories of pain. Not only that, but to be a young adult in this society (youknow, the one we created for ourselves,) is almost impossible. Finish highschool, go to college, get married, buy a house, have 2.5 kids, retire, anddie. Get up, get dressed, go to work, go to bed, sleep; maybe, and repeat. It’simpossible to make enough money to complete this checklist, and even if you do,it feels so hollow. I’m alive, but I’m not living.

Empty. Heavy. I’mnot alive.

This isn’t what I wanted for myself. How can this be what anyonewants for themselves? Why can’t I spend my whole day outside with the treesinstead of looking at them through a dirty window? When do I get some space?When does anyone? Why is no one else screaming these things? This isn’t right.Who am I? This world isn’t right. It’s sick. What do I want? I’m sick. What doI do? What do I say, and to who? I can’t even tell anyone what this is, becausewe’re selfish by nature. It’s only natural, right? What is right?

“How are you?” “Good, and you?” “Good.” Keep to yourself,and no one can hurt you. But that’s not true. You’re hurting yourself, kid.

I wrote this big long, drawn out piece of cerebral vomit totell you that I am once again being saved by music. My brother shared a songwith me not too long ago that sucker punched me right in the brain; becauseamidst all of the stupid pop songs about how great it is to be alive, this onewas true; and it was on the radio. ‘I wastold when I get older all my fears would shrink, but now I’m insecure, and Icare what people think. My name’s Blurryface and I care what you think.’ ‘Outof student loans and tree house homes, we all would take the ladder/latter.’‘Used to dream of outer space, but now they’re laughing in our face saying:wake up you need to make money.’ Holy shit, someone gets it. Someoneunderstands. This is on the radio? More letters turned to simple words, but, wow, did they hit me.

Immediately I went home and looked for more. I was notdisappointed. Never have I listened to an artist and loved every single song,every word, for every meaning. It was literally as if I was listening to thatpart of my brain that runs on repeat. All of those letters turned into words,into poetry, into art, into feeling and emotion.Understanding. It didn’t matter thatI couldn’t run to these guys and spill everything, to have a conversation,because we were already conversing. Excusethe pun, but that burn in my brain, that deep ache that had ached for so long, had been washed with water; soothed, calmed. I’m not the only one who feels this way. I’m not the only who sees. Withevery word, every line the relief grew; a heaviness that I hadn’t even takenthe time to acknowledge began to lift from my soul.

What is life really, but toconnect? Words have so much power.

Let me just say, I’ve never wanted to kill myself. I’ve beenin a horrible place within, so many times, and in so many differentways. I’ve thought of death. I’ve thought about what the world would be likehere without me (I always came to the conclusion that while it might not make adifference to the world, it most definitely would to the people who love me. ) MaybeI’m too big a coward; or maybe the things that I do recognize in life asbeautiful are too valuable, too dear, too in need of cherishing, but I dounderstand depression, anxiety, and hurt.

Twenty One Pilots has re-awoken that creative part of methat I had given up on. Made me aware of how much my intentional creativeconstipation was actually hurting me. Itfeels so good to just do something constructive with my brain. I’m drawingand writing again. I’ve even gotten into playing the drums. (Can I just saythat literally beating your brain into submission while creating something;especially something that physically alters the air around you and producessuch a variety of complex sounds is exhilarating.)‘Are you searching forpurpose? Write something, and it might be worthless. Paint something, then itmight be wordless. No one else is dealing with your demons; meaning: maybedefeating them is the beginning of your meaning, friend.’

Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun have saved my light. Thank you. Ican’t say that I won’t ever get the chance to thank you in person, but here,now, I am nudging your consciousness with my own. I respect you. I see you. Thankyou.

‘I know where youstand, silent, in the trees. I want to know you, I want to see, I want to say:hello.’

migraine: what’s your favourite lyric?

‘Please don’t be afraid of what your soul is really thinking.’

Here is where I want to just say thank you for being there. All of you. Us. ||-//

#Twenty One Pilots #skeleton clique

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detectiveharmony · 6 years

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How to Support Your Writer Friend Without Buying Their Book

A lot of people write now. Blogs have just about taken over the Internet, like this one. Some of us know writers who write novels, poetry, short stories, etc.. Undoubtedly, you’ll see some kind of ad from their newsfeed in yours about their book or writing, begging you to purchase it so they don’t have to live the rest of their life making money from an office, cleaning houses, or working for a boss they hate. You really want to support them, but you feel bad because you don’t like to read, and you never have. You could buy their book, but what good would it do you? Or maybe you do like to read, but just don’t have any extra money laying around. Well friend, have I got some news for you! There are several ways to support your writer friend completely free. Of course, the biggest way to support a writer is to buy their work, but there are several other ways you can help them and make an impact in their career or hobby.

Way #1. Share their work on social media. This is the easiest way to support someone. You have people on your friend list and follower list on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram that said writer friend doesn’t. Their post is limited to the people who they are friends with, or the people in a group the post is shared to (supposing, of course, your starving writer friend doesn’t have the money to pay for advertising). When you share their post about their book, it becomes exposed to several other people who would be interested in purchasing their novel.

Way #2. Leave an Amazon Review. Now of course, for the most part, you would have to buy the book to be able to give a good review. However, a lot of authors are willing to exchange copies of their books for reviews on Amazon. A lot of people don’t realize how important this is, but if you’re an author selling on Amazon, the reviews are vital. If a book reaches 50 reviews, Amazon will put it in their newsletter and other promotions, which means the author gets more buys and makes more money. Reviews don’t have to be long and detailed, either. Saying, “I liked it,” is fine. It’s the number of reviews that count.

Way #3. Show interest in their work. Even if you never buy their book, it means a lot to an artist that someone is genuinely interested in what they are doing. Most people in the writing world slam writers. It’s a brutal industry, and writers are use to being told that their work sucks, they need to quit or give up, or even some vicious personal attack on their character. If you simply listen to them talk about their books, or comment on their posts to tell them that they are doing great and they need to keep up the good work, it is enough. Sometimes it can be the difference between whether someone reaches to achieve their goals or gives up.

Way #4. Trade off. If you want to read their book, but don’t have the money to buy it, but you have some sort of skill that could contribute to their work, talk to the writer about doing a trade off. If you’re good at cover design (this is more so if you’re an amateur), design a cover for the writer and ask for a copy in exchange. My editor told me the best thing about being an editor was that she got to read hundreds of books and get paid while doing it. You could, of course, so the same thing if you’re good with grammar. Offer to help your writer friend so you can have a copy of the book.

Way #5. Don’t lie to them. If you’re a beta reader, ARC Reviewer, or just reading their book because they want a general opinion, don’t lie to them if it has problems. Of course, don’t be nasty to them about it either, but you want them to know if something doesn’t work. The reason behind this is that if they send their manuscript off to an editor or publisher, they are going to either get rejected or have a major amount of constructive work to do, and that isn’t cheap coming from a professional editor. It might hurt their feelings that they did something wrong, but it will hurt them a lot more in the long run if you don’t tell them their manuscript has a problem.

Way #6. Remind them to take care of themselves. Most writers are really awful at taking care of themselves. I constantly forget to eat, or eat too much if I have writer’s block. We don’t sleep, skip meals for caffeine, and stress ourselves out over deadlines. No writer wants to be suffocated, but if you live with one or are close friends with one, a cup of tea or occasional bowl of fruit is enough to keep them going. Gently remind them to take a relaxing bath to take off some of the stress, or tell them that they will think better when they are well rested. Nothing works better for a writer than reminding them that they are probably going to die if they continue in their self destructive habits.

If you have the money and means though, I would always recommend buying their book. Without any of the other ways of support though, buying their book might be slightly useless. They may profit a dollar or two from the sale, but the thing that is going to help the writer the most is getting the word about their work out there, and helping them build a returning audience. A successful writer is a happy writer.

#writer #writing #love writing #author #editing #book #book advice #fiction #novel #lit #literature #artist #writing help #book help #writers of tumblr #book buzz #am writing

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kingspoetrysoc · 4 years

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Interview with Pete Clarke

What makes someone a writer? How do our personal life experiences affect our approach to writing? With these questions in mind, The King’s Poet’s Karen Ng interviewed Pete Clarke, a writer from Lancashire.

Can you tell us a little bit about your life? As a young 17 year old girl, my mother became pregnant with a 24 year old man who deserted her when he found out. My mother’s family were Irish Catholics. In 1945, having a child out of wedlock was devastating for her. Her father was outraged but died before I was born. Fortunately, her mother supported her. She found a way out of her predicament by marrying a man returning from the war, who she didn't love. He had breathing problems caused by being gassed in the war. She had another four children by him to whom he showed love and affection. But not to me.

After the war my mother and so called stepfather started working in the Lancashire cotton mills, but when his health problems worsened with the cotton dust, he gave up working. My mother worked long hours in the mill and he looked after the children. It was hard for me because I didn't want to be in his company. My mother tried hard to keep the ship afloat, but they got in a lot of debt. I remember her crying when the bailiffs came and took things out of our house – including the cooker, leaving her to cook on the coal fire.

When did you first begin to venture into the world of writing and music? My grandmother Janey O’Donnell told me that our predecessors were Irish storytellers and musical entertainers. Several members of the family who lived across the road were members of the Todmorden Brass Band and I wanted to join. Mr. Duffield – a member of the Todmorden Brass Band – took me to meet the bandmaster who, to my delight, gave me a cornet and offered to teach me to play. When I returned home my stepfather gave it back to Mr. Duffield, and told him I wasn't allowed to have it. I was 10 years old. I remember going back to drawing with my pencil and paper. Then, at the age of 13 or 14, my best friend Ray Hamlin got a guitar for Christmas. I asked my parents if I could have one too, but was told ‘no’. So I made a cardboard template of a guitar, drawing the first four frets and strings on it. Ray gave me a copy of the basic chord chart and I leaned the chords on my cardboard.

I left school at the age of 15. The art teacher Mr. Eastwood personally took me to see the head of design at a textile print works, who offered me a job. I would be making tea and cleaning up the office whilst learning to become a designer. The pay was only £2.50 per week. But my stepfather told me he had got me a job in the cotton mill for £5 per week, and that I had to take it, as they needed the money. I learned quickly, and became a mule spinner – telling my so-called stepfather that his days of giving me a dog’s life were over. I was independent and I was going to do what I wanted to do.

At 17 I had my own guitar and met a 19 year old mill worker called Bob Higgins who said he played the bass. He asked if I would like to team up with him. Bob Higgins was a massive talent. He had perfect pitch: he didn't know the names of the notes but was an incredible bass player. Not only that, he was also a great singer who could do very convincing impressions of famous artists and accents, as well as sounds of nature and car engines. Along with Cannon and Ball – who were welders – we started entertaining in the northern clubs, quickly becoming a successful act. We developed a comedy and close-harmony vocal act similar to the sound of the Everly Brothers. I used to yodel and Bob yodelled in harmony. Over the following four years, we perfected a great musical comedy act. We entertained in the big clubs during the weekends whilst working in the mill during the weekdays. We knew we had something good and that we would one day get a lucky break. Cannon & Ball were on TV, and soon it would be our turn.

Then my world came crashing down. Bob’s wife said she would leave him if he didn't give up the entertaining career and the nightlife. Bob gave it all up for her and became a window cleaner. I continued to work in the mill. I had a gift for working out how machines worked, and I became a mule overlooker in charge of the maintenance of the mule spinning machines.

Can you tell us a bit about your experiences performing as a stand-up comic? Stand-up comedy is not easy. There are lots of difficult crowds who don't give you a chance. But when you get four hundred people laughing and cheering at the words of one man – you – it's like a drug you need over and over again. On my own, I had to go back to entertaining in the small clubs, developing my individual stand up act and using my ability to tell a gag and my talent for good comic timing. The cotton mills were all shutting down, and thousands were out of work – including myself. So I decided to try to make a living as a comic. Although I had a lot of lean times, I just about managed it. I had three daughters and I worked in every rough dump you could think of in order to provide for them. I played with several Lanc's and York's [Lancashire and York] village brass bands and came up with an idea for a TV sitcom. I pitched the idea to Bobby Ball, who teamed up with me to write the script: a war of the roses between two brass bands at the Tudor Rose Pub. The border between Lancashire and York runs through the centre of the pub, and separates the two rival bands. Then came the second big disappointment: Bobby informed me that his agent had secured a lot of television work for him and that he would have to put my idea on the back-burner. I tried to get it produced by myself, but no one was interested. The script has been on the shelf since – for ten years – but I'm giving it another try this year.

How do you think comedy and music can interact with poetry? I think good music with a good lyric is the full package. And a comedy song is better still, topping it with laughter.

Do you think your life experiences have influenced your art? What kind of messages do you want to share through your work? Of course. My life experiences, my feelings about issues in my life, and the world I live in, all influence my writings. I have strong feelings about the fact that people will spend millions on a twinkling diamond trinket or a lump of yellow metal whilst people are starving to death. Bestowing great wealth on someone who can sing a song or kick a ball into a net whilst the money could drill a well to provide clean water for people...Religious institutions and royalty that own wealth beyond belief and give the impression they are helping by giving a little to charity or using the collection box to impress...The sad thing is I am powerless to change any of this using my words.

Is there a consistent writing habit you try to stick by? Do you think it’s necessary for writers to be consistently writing? I don't have a consistent writing habit. I don't know if it’s necessary for writers to be consistently writing – I started writing the odd song many years ago, and sometimes the lyrics didn’t work, but I kept them as a bunch of words you could call a poem. Once I start on something I don't stop until it's finished. I twist and turn the words, changing them so they do work. I have never taken it seriously; a situation may come into my mind that I would like to put into words. I try to put my thoughts down on paper using a few words and just for fun, to see if I can make them rhyme. I called it a poem. Just for fun again I put some of them on YouTube.

Can you tell us about Napnars, and why you don’t consider yourself a poet? A lady made a comment that I will never be a poet; I replied that I'm not a poet. I came up with the word Napnars. I thought that if my writings are not regarded as poems, this is what I could call them instead. If I am writing a Napnar, or the lyrics to a song – I am trying to tell the full story in a few words, and at the same time, trying to paint a picture in the mind of the listener or reader.

Lastly, what advice would you like to offer poets who are just starting out? It must give you the feel-good factor and a sense of achievement. You must be happy receiving the responses of others and the belief that you can do it. You are in possession of a lethal weapon: the pen. Take care how you use it. Your words are a point of view that can cause stress and anxiety, or peace and tranquility.

Several of Pete’s poems have been published under The King’s Poet: please enjoy them here. To read and listen to more of Pete’s Napnars, please visit his YouTube channel.

#Pete Clarke #interviews #interviewer: Karen Ng #king's poetry society

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theproofinthisong · 4 years

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WALLS REVIEW

i’m back for my review of walls!!

kill my mind: the perfect opening for the album & to announce the new era. i remember listening to it for the first time and my jaw dropping because i didn’t expect that sound & at the same time, it made total sense. it’s not my favorite genre personally but this track is so audacious and amazing. it’s probably the one that is the most different from louis’ previous sounds (in the band or solo stuff) and he’s giving us LIFE with the pop punk bop we always dreamed of. his voice is unique in every song but it especially stands out in this one, particularly at the beginning of the track. it’s such a fierce catchy and energetic track, you want to scream it at the top of your lungs. this is the type of song that makes the crowd lose its shit live. can’t wait to see it. the gimmicks in this one (the aaaah aaah part and the kill my kill my at the end mostly) are so clever, you hear them one time and boom, they can’t leave your mind, it’s witchcraft. i love the contrast between the very high and very low notes, they’re just perfection. AND THE BELTING!!! it’s hot. the earlier pop inspirations are pretty much there and it’s such a wonderful tribute. no wonder why louis loves this track so much. it’s gold and very very bold.

don’t let it break your heart: see, the first time i listened to the new tracks (at ccme), i was instantly captivated by defenceless & habit. dliby was not a favorite instantly. but it became one. i don’t know why THE FUCK i didn’t pick as a favorite right on the spot. because it is a godsent. like hell!!! the nostalgia!! the raw emotion!! the hope it’s giving you!! the goosebumps!! and OH MY GOD louis’ voice in his...one of his best vocals. like period. it’s so soft and so strong at the same time. it’s so full of feelings, like the vulnerability!! the song speaks to me so much. AND OH MY GOD THE ALBUM VERSION!!! the single one was already extraordinary but the album arrangment makes it even more perfect and delicate!!! the writing in this one makes me cry, it’s so to the point and honest, like you can feel his heart beating in it. it’s the kind of music you carry with you. i know decades from now, it will remind me of my youth and the happy times i had back then. god i’m already sobbing.

two of us: honestly, there are no words for this one. it’s above everything. it’s without a doubt louis’ most personal and gutwrenching track. it’s not the one i listen to the most because it’s painful and so real. you can feel every crack, every hurdle, every tear, every ounce of desperation, every bit of newfound hope. i have a personal connection to this one because i experienced what louis is talking about. i lost my dad when i was 16, a little younger than louis. and oh my god the words he uses to talk about it and his grief is what i felt and still feel. those songs where EVERY WORD could be applied to you and your situation almost never happen. it’s a miracle. so yeah, it hurts to listen to it. but it also makes me really happy. i feel understood, i feel a kinship to him. and while i have no doubt everyone can relate to this song and have it resonating with them, losing a parent is a very specific kind of grief. and i never saw someone describing it so well in a song. his voice is so angelic in this. it’s so controlled but at the same time it’s on the verge of collapsing everytime and never does. god. if i had to pick a song to have as a tattoo, i will pick this one for sure. what a masterpiece.

we made it: BLOODY WE MADE IT. one of the most IN YOUR FACE larry songs out of walls (even if they all are) and i’m dying. it’s easily in my top 3 of louis’ songs performed live. THE POWER. THE CERTAINTY OF IT ALL. like his voice is so assured in this while still being able to be vulnerable and fragile. HOW?? HOW CAN YOU DO IT?? it’s one of the sappiest love songs i’ve ever heard but those are my weakness and fave. what a beautiful declaration. the lyrics are...well i still can’t believe they’re real. he deadass told us everything about his relationship with harry and how they were able to overcome all the obstacles thrown in their faces. in terms of melody, it’s a 10000000/10. you can’t help but sing it with him. it’s wonderfully produced, like the best kind of pop. it has a bit of those oasis vibes (walls and dlibyh also have them) which i’m a HUGE fan of. it’s such an effective single, like i can’t even count the times i listened to it. fucking treasure.

too young: another case of a song i adored the minute i listened to it, but it wasn’t as intense as with others. now it’s truly one of my most cherished tracks out of the album. the opening lines simply kill you, it’s whispered, it’s tender, it’s!!!! too much for my heart!! i’m swooning. i love that he doesn’t push his voice there, it stays at a low level and it makes it even more louder, in a way?? you feel like he’s speaking to only one person (who?? i wonder...), it’s so intimate i almost feel like intruding?? it’s a fucking gift. in terms of writing, it’s also one of my favorite because there are no filters. it tells the story without fear. louis just spilled his whole heart out in his track and that’s so fucking admirable. a jewel we need to protect.

walls: FIRST THE FUCKING INSTRUMENTAL. it fucking ruined me. someone said this song was like a late night conversation and it’s true. walls is probably the song that shows his personal growth the most, like louis couldn’t have written this song five years ago. it’s so grown. it’s so wise. so full of life and conclusions you made. it’s peaceful. it’s reassuring. i don’t know how a song can make you feel all of that but it does. and the lyrics are one of his best. it’s so significative at times (the goodbyes line for example), but metaphorical also (the cardboard full of clothes lines IS GENIUS and the walls one...obviously the best) and opening the song with a sentence and ending it with it is...pure magic. it’s clever but not only. it shows how much he went through and how he’s healing from it and how it helped him, in a way. and the voice. liquid honey. bye.

habit: legend snapped when he included the princess park line. what a chaotic larrie. i expected nothing less from him. i love the melody, it’s so catchy and happy!! it’s kind of a break after the rollercoaster you just went through. very needed. i’m still having a breakdown over it though. it’s such a cute ballad and beautiful love song. you just wanna move your head to it, it makes you truly happy. sunshine in a song form. like i’m smiling rn. and you can hear louis smiling while singing it too!!! it’s...wow. he’s able to communicate his feelings in a manner no other artist can. i will never get tired of it.

always you: we did our waiting. we were fucking starved. now we’re being fed babes!! miss always you is so iconic. the melody is ingrained in my brain after hundred times of listening to that damn snippet. the things i would do for louis. i love what he does with his voice in this, like he’s changing tones and going from one note to another like a champ. this song is so fucking hard to sing and louis is the ONLY one who can master it. shows how unique his voice is. i’m in love with the high parts and the chorus. dang. that’s a song. tell me that this song isn’t THE SHIT. it’s iconic as fuck. and it’s so lovely. still haven’t recovered from all the baby and home mentions. ALSO the legs wrapped around me line??? kill me please!!! i do not thank you.

fearless: now that’s an adjective that comes to mind while talking about louis. the verses aren’t my favorite melody wise but omg the bridge and the chorus!! he did that!!! it’s also the song where he’s singing the lowest (that head voice bitch) and omg. for now it isn’t in my top but i know it will grow on me and i can’t wait. the lyrics are amazing nonetheless.

perfect now: we know it’s louis’ least favorite track and it’s mine too. it’s still louis though so still amazing. just like fearless, the verses aren’t my favorite part but same, the bridge and the chorus are wonderful. it’s pretty soft. also this is a song about harry (you steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed??) but some sentences can be applied to family and it’s such a nice & encouraging track to listen to when you think about the people you love. it’s very happy. makes you feel loved and exactly where you should be. and as always, his voice is to die for in it.

defenceless: to the surprise of exactly nobody, it’s my favorite song out of walls. it was love at first sight. you cannot explain it. it just is. in terms of writing, it’s my personal favorite (especially “sleeping on our problems and we’ll solve them in our dreams” which is pure poetry...the talent, the impact...i’m dying. also i put this quote everywhere i could, i’m OBSESSED with it). it tucks at your heartstrings, like it’s a very hopeful song but at the same time it’s full of memory of heartbreaks. i could bawl talking about it. harry and louis’ situation is impossible to describe and to comprehend. the things and contradictory feelings they had to face..i can’t even imagine. but he gives us a full glimpse of it in this song. and it’s so fucking brave to be this honest. it takes so much courage and trust. and i’m just in awe. artistically speaking, it’s a fucking tour de force. but like personally, what it means to louis...oh god. i’m dead. and THE MOTHERFUCKING FALSETTO. louis almost never uses it and oh my god. it’s breathtaking. it’s what you hear when you enter heaven. no one, fucking no one, has this kind of falsetto. it’s so special. it makes me wanna die. it’s too much for my heart. my god.

only the brave: it would have been ALSO my favorite song out of walls it it was longer. because it’s...i’m speechless. also very oasis but very louis. and sorry, but it’s better than oasis will ever be. there i said it. the lyrics are objectively the best out of the album, like i’m a slut for metaphors and they’re everywhere in here. i don’t know how to qualify it really but it has this anthem like quality? i can see the arena and thousands of people singing it back to louis. it reminds me of home in the sense that it’s subtle but very blatant at the same time. like he wrote this for us gay people. that ache is there. the pain. the underlying anger. but the optimism. knowing the hurt but never wishing to go back. the vocal control is incredible in this, i’ll say it again, but the ability to switch to chest voice to head voice back to back...he’s one in a billion. there is an intention behind every line and you can feel it piercing your soul. gimme rest.

4 years in the making. i’m so glad i waited and was besides Louis through it all. i’m so fucking proud i could cry. it’s a masterpiece of an album. it has everything. simply everything. i couldn’t have dreamed something better. the voice, the melodies, the lyrics, the emotion, the confidence, the range, the diversity of sounds, the different influences and the way he’s able to bring the best out of them and make them this, the old pop vibe of it while remaining extra modern..it’s pure art. it’s what art should be. making you feel every emotion the artist wanted you to. no one does it better than louis. god. thank you.

#walls #my posts

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theartstew · 5 years

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April’s Steward Collectable Card, Jada Ford

Jada Ford

Hopeful Romantic

Jada wanted to be in a story, even if it didn’t end in happily ever after. Instead of waiting for someone to cast her in their book, she began to write her own and life became a fairytale.

Instagram: @closerbythesecond

Location: Marksville, LA

Mediums: Poetry & Story-Writing

Favorite Quote: “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will, which I now exert to leave you.”—Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte

Get to Know Jada

From the very beginning Jada’s writing made an impression on the Stew. For example if you follow her you might have read a haiku or two as beautiful as this:

“You, who are like stars, should not cover yourself in dark, desolate skies.”

“Luna was more curious about the earth than the stars.”

Based on all the reading I did over there that kept pulling on my heartstrings, I became such a fan and asked her to write an “about me” for the future Art Stew 52 book. (AND you will notice a lot of the Steward features this year will be Stewards helping with the book!) Jada has a few goodies for you, here’s a surprise... this is the “about me” article Jada wrote for the book. I thought you guys might enjoy getting the first look!

Don’t Starve the Artist by Jada Renee Ford:

Though I find myself endlessly inspired in the fall, summer has always been my prime time for writing. When school let out, I usually split my days. In the afternoon, after chores were done, I would read. I’m a night owl, and inspiration arrived with twilight so that’s when I wrote.

Last year I entered my first semester of college. Away from strict parents and thrown into one intriguing situation after another, my head was brimming with story ideas. As usual, there was no time to write any of them out. However, when my college friend, whom I affectionately call Egg, started an Etsy account, I was thus inspired to have a place for my craft as well. I began a poetry and short story blog on Instagram.

However, I couldn’t put much time into it. I found myself at a “part-time” summer job that asked five days and eight hour shifts from each of my coworkers. Halfway through June, I felt more like a pool attendant than a writer. I was restless and dissatisfied with my existence. As I am a very dramatic person, I considered running away to some place I could write forever on the chunk change I had saved so far. I hated that I spent more hours at a pool staring at nothing and hoping for anything except what I had. So I did what all people with existential questions do: I went to Google. I found a fancy word for restlessness (akathisi, if you must know), which ended in many journalists telling me I would never be satisfied.

(Excuse me, never?)

One day, while doodling on my hand with a Sharpie, I realized there was actually hope for something close to happiness. I bought a small notebook to stuff in my work jacket and started plotting the book I am currently writing and wrote poems for my blog. Gone were the nights of staring blankly at my computer, wishing I’d had time to think a chapter through. I actually wrote more than I had during summers when I didn’t have a job.

One of the problems with being an artist is not having time to be one. Jobs, family, and other obligations usually always have to come first. But who says that you can’t doodle at a family reunion or hum a tune for a song in progress while you bring your kids or siblings to school? Make a mental note of how you spend your days and try combining tasks so that you may be able to squeeze in some creative time before bed. No one desires to be a starving artist, but if we do not find ways to cater to our talents and hopes, the artist in us will starve. So I hope to catch you all halfway in a daydream, sketching under a table or playing an air-guitar at work.

A Haiku Gift Collab To You From Jada & Brandon

A free phone and desktop wallpaper for you!

You can download the phone wallpaper here...

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(I did not intentionally make all of Jada’s writing celestial themed BUT I’m not mad about it!)

Steward Card portrait and design by Gracie Klumpp.

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wwefangirl69 · 7 years

Text

Double Trouble

Setting this up to be a multi chapter thing. Bear with the long backstory. It’s worth it. Please no hate mail, this is my first piece. Feedback is appreciated.

Some Language. Smut. Fluff. SMUUUT. NSFW

3409 words.

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You are a creative type, so you have no “real job” holding you down. You do what you want, when you want. You’re a musician, but not your typical starving artist type. Money is no object – you are well off from a life insurance settlement from a husband that died. You’re in no big hurry to marry again, you are a free spirit and pretty much do what and who you want. Like your favorite Pat Green song, you are a threadbare gypsy soul.

The guys were in town because there was a house show, and they had RAW to tape. You had a gig that night, and were not really expecting to see anybody other than the usual round of drunks that try to ply you with drinks in hopes that you’d be easy to take home. Little did they know, you were half Irish and can drink whiskey like a champ!

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You know Sheamus and Cesaro from a year ago. You were on the date from Hell, and Cesaro saved you from it. It was a date a well-meaning friend had set up. You weren’t really feeling it the first time you went out with Mark, but you are the Queen of second chances. You give people more chances than they usually deserve. Damn your big heart. Mark was not a wrestling fan, but he got ringside seats for the two of you. Clearly he wanted to impress you. Him not being a fan, was kind of the final nail in the coffin in your book (He just made the list!) You were explaining to him the storylines – who’s a heel, who hated who, etc. He was bored, and wanted to go back to the hotel in the hopes of getting a piece of ass. You were having the time of your life, and nowhere near ready to leave, Hell the title match of Lesnar V. Goldberg hadn’t even happened yet.

You looked at him like he was crazy, and said that you would just catch up with him at the hotel later – you would get a cab back. You turned back in time to see Kevin Owens finish entering the ring. Dean Ambrose’s intro music cued up and out he comes! All of a sudden BAM! It goes dark, and you’re seeing red. You’re seething mad, and in a lot of pain. A hard hit to the side of your face from out of nowhere happened. That motherfucker Mark just PUNCHED YOU in the face! You fell hard into the big dude next to you. He was a solid wall of muscle, like Braun Strowman.

Dean saw the whole thing happen, and broke character and jumped the wall and started beating the holy living shit out of Mark. The medics quickly took you to a room backstage to put ice on your eye, and check that shoulder. No real damage done, they iced your face, gave you a BC Powder and a bottled water, and as a precaution, they taped up your shoulder with kinesio tape just like the kind Cesaro wears. The medic had you lie down on the bench and rest a bit with the ice on your face.

After a while, you had had enough of this shit, you were bored, the night was screwed, and you were going to hit the bar before you went back to the hotel. Thank GOD you weren’t sharing a hotel room with that douchebag. You put your Coco Chanel rhinestone dark glasses on to cover up the shiner you just KNOW you are getting, and you begin roaming the halls trying to find the entrance to the parking garage to get the HELL out of there. Only problem is you are a little directionally challenged, you were still a little bit woozy, and to make matters worse, you were a bit lost. You can’t find your ass with both hands in the dark, with a flashlight, AND GPS!

You weren’t seeing too clearly, your bruised eye was watering like a son of a bitch, and you plowed right into Cesaro! You hit with such force, and you were still a bit wobbly on your feet. He caught your elbow to keep you from landing on your ass. Goosebumps popped up all over, and a pulsing throbbing started between your legs. “Oh my GOD! SHIT! I’m SO sorry!” You stammered. He smiled radiantly, and you melted. He was impeccably dressed in a dark Armani suit, and his trademark dark glasses. He looked good, and smelled like Heaven. He was wearing your favorite men’s scent, Bulgari. You melted a second time inwardly. “No worries darling. You must be lost to have gotten back here.” He said. “No, actually I got hit in the face.” You said. He stopped smiling, and genuinely looked concerned. He gently removed your sunglasses to look at the faint bruising on your eye. “So YOU’RE the girl! I heard a beautiful lady got injured by her boyfriend tonight, and Dean stepped in. Dean was talking about it in the locker room. He’s lucky I wasn’t out there.” “He’s NOT my boyfriend!” I snapped. “No? Well then I have a chance. Come to dinner with me. I’d enjoy very much the company of a beautiful Lady.” The butterflies are doing flip flops in your stomach at this point. You smile, and say “I’d love to” He holds his arm out to you, and you take it.

He walks you down the hall, and out to the parking garage, where the valet pulls up to you in a sleek black Porsche 911 Carrera. Cesaro walks around and opens your door for you, and you sink into the plush leather seats. He takes you not too far away, to a quiet little Italian restaurant, and he pulls in, and tosses the keys to the valet. He walks around to your side and opens your door, holding his hand out to you, helping you out of the car. You blush, and again are filled with a hammering throbbing in your deepest parts. He places his hand in the small of your back possessively, a little too close to your ass, and guides you into the restaurant. The table is in a dark corner, lit up by the light of many candles. The candlelight shines in your eyes, and reflects in your hair.

Once seated across from you, he reaches across, and gently removes your sunglasses. “I want to see you,” He says. He gently brushes the hair from your eyes, and traces his fingers down your face, under the guise of checking on your eye. You were thinking of other places that those fingers could be! His eyes darken to pools of molten chocolate in the candlelight as he says to you in a husky whisper “Cosi’ bellou” So beautiful. You have no idea what he said, but you feel yourself getting wet with desire for him.

Over dinner, you talk about places he’s travelled to, places you’d like to go - things he’d like to show you – The Eiffel Tower, The Spanish Steps. You tell him about your music, and he coaxes you to sing a little for him. He is noticeably impressed. You discuss Art, literature, poetry, theater, opera and find out you have a lot of things in common. You definitely agree on coffee after dinner, and you both agree Starbucks is the best! You enjoy a cup of coffee, and share a cannoli. You got a bit of cream on your lip, and he reaches across and wipes at it with his finger, and sucks on it, never breaking eye contact with you.

After the tab is paid, he walks you outside, and he slips his suit jacket around your shoulders because the night is brisk. Neither one of you are ready to return to the hotel just yet, so with it being a coastal town, you find yourselves walking hand in hand along the beach in the moonlight. You couldn’t help but notice how perfectly your hand fits in his, and as if reading your mind, he squeezed your hand before bringing it to your lips for the softest of kisses. His breath was warm across your knuckles, and he murmured in Italian “Attento, stai rubando il mio cuore.” Careful, you’re stealing my heart. “What did you say?” You asked him. “You’re beautiful.” He said, not REALLY telling you how he was feeling at that moment in time.

It was a little after midnight, and you walked with him in the surf where the water lapped the beach, you were laughing at his rolled-up suit pants, and ogling those perfect muscular calves. You both laughed. You loved the way his eyes crinkled up at the corners when he smiled. God, he had a dazzling smile. “He is a God among men” You were thinking to yourself as you openly admired him. You were so lost in his perfection, you failed to notice that you two had walked all the way out on a long fishing pier, and walked into an abandoned fishing shack to get shelter from the winds, and sea spray. He put the big rough-hewn locking bar down, and turned to you and smiled warmly. The waves were relatively calm, but the wind had whipped up. There was a little porch with 2 chairs and a table outside at the back, and the view was incredible! Inside the shack was a table with a coffeepot on it, and a bed, and some linens on the floor.

He closed the distance between you with a couple steps, and slipped his jacket off your shoulders, and draped it on the table. He also set your purse on the table. He reached out and took both your hands in his, and he looked into your (your eye color here) eyes and lightly brushed his lips across yours. His hand moved up to caress your face, and soon found its way to being tangled in your hair. His kisses became harder, more urgent and needful, his tongue exploring your mouth, sucking your tongue, biting and sucking on your lower lip. Your lips were bruised from the kisses, and his beard scratched your face raw, but you didn’t care. You wanted him. You wanted this. You could feel his hardness straining against the zipper of his pants. When you took his lower lip in your mouth and sucked on it, he moaned, his brown eyes almost black with lust and desire for you.

In one swooping move, he scooped you up like you weighed nothing, and sat you on the edge of the bed. He knelt on the floor at your feet, and patiently undid your strappy sandals, and set them aside. He placed a kiss upon each arch before kneading your calves with his strong hands. You arched your back and moaned. He worked your calves all the way up, his fingers probing and spreading your thighs. You felt yourself getting wetter by the moment for him. He went under your skirt and palmed your mound and squeezed, then grinned wolfishly up at you and smacked it twice with his palm before he pushed your black lace panties aside, and slid in a finger. He worked in and out a couple of times before he pulled it out and sucked your sweetness off of it, then slid it back in, this time curling it in a beckoning manner, so he was hitting your sweet spot. He slid a second finger into your wetness, and teased you with a third – stretching your tight hole out. His thumb flicked your clit mercilessly. You were SO close to cumming, your walls clenched around his fingers and spasmed. He pulled his fingers out, and again sucked your sweet cream off of them. He denied you your release. He was like a cat toying with a mouse, it was much too soon for all that.

You pouted your displeasure at being denied your release, and he laughed, a deep throaty sound. He held both your hands over your head in one of his hands, and slid your slinky sundress off, and tossed it in the corner of the room. “Let me look at you” he said, as you tried being shy – mainly because by now your panties were soaked all the way through and sodden. His hardness strained against the zipper of his pants, and it threatened to inch down of its own accord. He said in French – the language of lovers – as he openly and lasciviously admired your soft curves “Vouse’ tes une vision de la beaute’, mon dieu, vous e’tes parfait!” - You are a vision of beauty, My God you are perfect!

You were still clad in your black lace bra and panties, and had sat up, and stood up before him. You reached up, and slowly undid his tie, and let it hit the floor. Your hands trembled as you unbuttoned his shirt, like it was the first time for you. He kissed you passionately and whispered “Sweet Girl” against your lips – his shirt hit the floor. You ran your hands across his broad chest, your face nuzzled in his chest hair, and you licked and sucked and teased his nipples and bit on them! He sharply inhaled. You kissed his injured shoulder, and followed the path of the kinesio tape in kisses. You looked into his eyes and – he deftly unhooked your bra with one hand, and threw that across the room too. His large warm hands cupped your heavy DD breasts, and his mouth returned the favor of what you did to his nipples. He took your nipple in his mouth – tongue teasing the bud until it puckered – and while sucking and nibbling, he pinched and rolled the other in his free hand.

You kissed and licked all the way down his chest – you came back up and again teased his nipples and his hands tangled in your hair, and he bit your neck, marking you as his! You kissed down his “happy trail,” down to his navel, you swirled your tongue around, and he moaned low in his throat. You licked the hard lines of his “V” muscle – his obliques… you unbuttoned his pants, and pulled the zipper down the rest of the way with your teeth. The zipper had started coming down on its own, after you unbuttoned his pants. You never broke eye contact with him. His bulge was sticking up past the waistband of his black briefs – the head, angry and purple was visible and shiny with pre-cum. You were on your knees before him, and slid his briefs off using your teeth!

Once free of its restriction, his dick, all long and hard and thick – and smooth bobbed and stuck straight out. His balls were large and heavy and hung low – just begging to be sucked! You gasped at the size of him and said “You’re perfect. You would put Michelangelo’s David to shame!” He smiled and said “You would shame DiMilo’s Venus with your beauty, Mi amor.” And you again knelt before him, and licked the length of that beautiful monster cock, one hand cupping those heavy balls of his. He let out a loud moan when you put one of his balls into my mouth. You swished it around inside your mouth, then you switched to the other one; you were also stroking his thighs with your hands. He started breathing harder when you managed to put both his balls into your mouth at once. You tenderly licked his balls while warming them up with your hot mouth. You used your tongue to move them all around; your lips were completely enveloping his entire sack, up to the root of his dick. Your hands began to stroke his dick. Your hands kneaded his thighs; your fingers were inches from his balls. He let out a gasp when your red nails brushed up against his balls. “Oh God!” he said. Then came furious bobbing. Slow sucking. Gentle licking, swirling the head, probing the hole on top. You worked your way up to the sensitive underside of his cock, right under the head. you gave that area some licks, and then teased him a bit with some long slow licks up and down the shaft. When you knew he really needed some more direct stimulation, you finally put your lips around the whole head of his cock and started to gently suck him off. Fondling his balls with your hand, you slowly lowered your mouth over his entire organ, getting it deep inside your mouth.

You stopped sucking and teasing, and his dick popped free and bobbed, still sticking straight out. He was breathing heavy, and moaned.. God he was close… you rose to your feet and walked around him, staring. His ass was perfect and you couldn’t resist spanking it – HARD as you walked around him. His ring gear did not begin to do it justice. He was truly a work of art – chiseled, hard, perfect.. yours. His dick bobbed when you slapped his ass.

Without warning, and in one swift move, he tore your soaked panties off in his fist like he did his tear away suit in the ring. You gasped in surprise, and he scooped you up again, like you weighed nothing, and he placed you as gently as he could even in his state – rabid with arousal on the bed. He nudged your thighs apart with his knee, and he hovered above you, teasing your clit with his hardness, teasing your opening, just putting in the tip. You arched your back to meet him, and he lost himself.. he slammed it home, and you moaned and screamed, and dragged your nails across his back, and you bit down on his shoulder. The biting and scratching made him thrust harder in a frenzy, he was speaking in French, pounding you, and you were both moaning.. your walls clenched around him, you wrapped your legs around him, holding him in you. You came an entire ocean, and soaked him, he moaned, and you felt him shoot his hot seed deep in you.

You both lay there still connected for a moment, then he slid out. You were too wet. He reached down, and got you a dry towel to clean off, and he climbed behind you and nuzzled your neck, kissing your shoulders holding you tightly, arms wrapped around you, kissing you everywhere he could reach. You both drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, sun streamed through the window, Cesaro lay there looking at you, the light playing in your hair. He had an angel. You stirred, and smiled sleepily. He handed you a cup of coffee, and you hugged each other tightly, and made love slowly. Afterwards, you both got dressed – you sans panties of course. You both giggled as you walked out to the balcony and threw them in the sea!

He took you to Victoria’s Secret and bought you some more. He also bought you a new sundress he couldn’t wait to see you in. It was a stunning green that set off your hair nicely. He also got you matching shoes and a purse! You went and had breakfast together in a quiet little French Bistro, lingering over coffee and bacon. He asked “Can I see you again, my angel?” “Of course," you said, and smiled. God, he loved your smile. And your numbers are in each other’s phones now, and he dropped you off at your hotel, but not before he gave you a deep kiss. “Come to the show tonight. I will have tickets at will-call for you.” He said, and he drove off. He got back to the hotel he shared with Sheamus.

Sheamus glowered at him and said “Yer late fella. You were supposed to meet me at the gym today!” Cesaro had a silly smile on his face, and said “Yeah… about that. I met a Lady…” Sheamus sniffed the air loudly and said snidely “I couldn’t tell.” Cesaro punched his arm and said “Back off man! She’s coming to the show tonight and sitting in the Cesaro Section. You be nice tonight.”

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Taglist beauties: @wwesmutdonedirtcheap @helluvawriter @deidrelovessheamus @laochbaineann

#shesaro #cesaro smut #cesaro love #wwe fanfiction

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spiceukonline · 6 years

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Dave’s “Game Over”: The Roadman Romantic

Originality

Production

Tracks

Lyrics

Overall

2017-12-05

4.0/FIVE

One thing about humans is that we all very much live in our own heads. It’s so easy to exist within our own comfortable realities, doing good deeds and bad deeds and at the end of the day, sleeping our issues away.

That is easy to do, until you are met with cold truth. Truth that is objective. Truth that is real. Truth that really doesn’t care for your feelings. Dave, the gifted 19-year-old rapper from South London is uniquely able to communicate that truth and wastes ‘no words’ in flagrantly @ing you and me. Even though there are only 7 songs on his latest album, many more stories are told.

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Within “Game Over” the album, Dave is engulfed in an uncensored conversation about life on road and his struggles with love and lust. Speaking on our insecurities can make many men, especially in ends, shudder with fear. Our toxic masculinity dictates that our feelings are to be kept under the tightest of wraps and yet Dave manages to resist this impulse to casual violence, sexually extravagance and materially obsessed lyrics. This is not from some fake deep, intellectualism but because within the context of grime, drill and UK rap, Dave is a lyrical maverick who has made a tale that if you’ve ever been young in ends, then you can relate to.

‘How I Met My Ex’ was a beautiful, yet bitter pill to swallow. Love is hard, tricky and it is impossible to see clearly when tears cloud your vision. And that’s how this track makes you feel, with a basic piano instrumental providing the backing for Dave to tell a captivating story about his experiences with love. The song was powerful and just as Dave felt insecure when ‘his girl’ was around other rappers, everyone can relate a little, to the unease felt when you truly love someone. With “all the little things they do that put the fear in you,” Dave remarks upon all the basics of romance that get lost as time passes. Dave knows he’s not the best boyfriend and fears that another man could do what he isn’t. “What if he actually replies? What if he phones her too?” This song was far too loud and way way too real to ignore.

Album Cover

Age is irrelevant for Dave, and despite being just 19 and one of the youngest on the scene, opps and other haters are trying to cause him trouble. That’s fine though, ‘No Words’ is proof that Dave is on whatever beef they’re looking for. This upbeat tune highlights the talents of both Dave and MoStack linking up to make a club-friendly banger. Let’s not pretend Dave is chilling though, those “fake youts” are still getting called out. “Where’s your army? Where’s your mandem?” Ah it’s peak.

“A question for the new prime minister. How’d you have a heart so sinister?” Austerity, poverty, inequality, racism and police brutality. Funding for military invasions in poor brown countries while the NHS starves. Individually each issue is a significant flaw of life in Britain and the behaviour of our leaders. But together, it becomes yet more disgusting that the fifth largest economy in the world can cause such suffering alongside unimaginable wealth for the elite.

On Question Time, Dave is relentless, questioning and interrogating the major issues affecting the country and narrating the stories that are being ignored. On a slow electronic beat, Dave expresses dismay at the unfairness of life for working class people. “I just find it f**ked that the government is struggling, to care for a person that cares for a person.” I genuinely felt something listening to this tune, I mean it’s not often that artists in such explicit and obviously angered language, talk about he inequalities and injustices present in our society. And Dave is right, we should be angry. Rapping about Grenfell and the horrible imagery of “How you choke on the smoke when you’re struggling to breathe, The glow from the fire, The panic when you hear all the sirens , The crackling, the popping and the muffled-out screams.” Horrifying to hear. But poetry.

I really wasn’t ready for the electronic beat on “Game Over”, the titular track on the album. Game Over was the combative introduction to Dave’s world, acknowledging the various ways people tried to “play” him. Unsuccessfully, I should add. Why? Because Mr. Santan believes in using his ‘Ls’ to elevate, dismissing all the accusers stating he’d changed as missing the point, he’s the “same player, different game.” Like many lads, Dave is all about his footy and the song is seasoned with footy references, that I shamefully didn’t get, though “I made the girl come round and go low, Now I just call her Kanté” sounds real romantic.

Dave knows about making relatable tunes and his efforts to secure that “lightie looking like a wifey”, are chronicled on Calling Me Out, track 4 on the album. No matter what big age you are or what status you’re at; F-boys (fraud is a lifestyle right?) will always be F-boys “I smiled when she pulled out her Barclays, Sorry, it’s the 419 in me,” Instagram captions for days.

“Just remember when the girl’s playing hard to get, there’s probably another person that she’s trying hard to get.” You read that too quickly, please read it again. Dave uses lyrics purposefully to put our every niggling subconscious feeling on a song. “My 19th Birthday” is a narrative of maturity and journeying from an adolescence to an adulthood characterised by money, sex and keeping up his hustle. Dave is a youth with “different types of problems” to the rest of us. With “corporate tax on this cash that I’m making/And at the same time I need to vanquish my paigons.” It’s really no joke the stress that comes with success and the balancing act of transcending the roads but maintaining your authenticity as a person.

Dave’s album is a proud and ambitious project that proves the talent and creative vision of his artistry. Managing to touch on themes of love and lust, of injustice and inequality and consistently capturing the experience of being young in ends, it’s a serious contender for the most realistic, relatable grime(ish) album of recent times. On ‘Game Over’, Dave stops playing with singles and drops his debut album. He proves the road lifestyle isn’t actually so distant from the romantic one. Who would have thought it?

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#album review #Dave #music #UK Music

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marjaystuff · 5 years

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Elise Cooper’s Interview with Alyson Richman

The Secret of Clouds by Alyson Richman brings to life the bond between a teacher and student. In the current environment, it is a reminder of how precious a life is even for a fleeting moment. It is a story of hope and the dreams of a young boy who readers will connect with immediately.

The book opens with Sasha and Katya living in the Ukraine. They move to America but discover their young son, Yuri, has a major heart defect caused by the exposure to nuclear radiation. Because of his condition he is not allowed to attend school with other students. Assigned as a home school English teacher, Maggie Topper needs to find a way to connect with Yuri. Realizing Yuri is passionate for baseball she uses it as a teaching tool, having him read the biography of Shoeless Joe. Throughout the book are tidbits of baseball history as well as comparisons between baseball and Yuri’s life.

Although Richman is known for her historical novels, she ventured into the contemporary genre. But she makes sure to include the historical significance of the era by delving into such topics as the Chernobyl disaster, baseball, music, and a mention of the Holocaust. Trying to show Yuri that people always need hope, Maggie has him write a letter to his future eighteen-year-old self. She precedes it by explaining to him how children in the Terezin Concentration Camp wrote poetry and drawings even when starving and freezing. Maggie came to realize that “a teacher’s job is to make children feel safe, to make them believe their ability is boundless…to use their minds-and their imagination-in their darkest hour.” Yuri’s letter and the drawings/poetry of the Holocaust children sparked a creative dialogue where they were able to imagine the possibility of a better life.

This is a heartening tale of the influence a teacher has on a student, but also how a student can impact a teacher. Richman makes people think about the importance of life and how a child born can make such an impression on those adults around him, even for a short time.

Elise Cooper: How did you get the idea for the story?

Alyson Richman: I was at a friend’s house in August who is an elementary school teacher. She mentioned in an off handed manner a project, having her class write an assignment to their eighteen-year-old self. She holds on to the letters and mails it to them when they graduate high school. They address it “from the past with a message for the future.” I was in awe of that assignment.

EC: You related it to this book?

AR: The writer in me questioned if she ever had letters where the student has passed. I found out there were about four or five students. We discussed how holding on to the letter the child felt they had some future and yet it can come to pass that it might not turn out as everybody hoped. She also had a child that died of cancer that got inadvertently mailed by her teaching assistant. I thought how a teacher can be the lifeline for a family to the outside world.

EC: You were known as a historical writer. Did you go cold turkey with this contemporary novel?

AR: Not at all. I made sure that this contemporary family had some historical past. I was influenced by a former Ukraine nurse sitter for my son who lived there during Chernobyl. She told me on the day it happened no one had any idea, and many were sun bathing in the river. Only days later did the Soviet Union admit what happened, but unfortunately a lot of people absorbed so much radiation. Many children were born with cancer, birth defects, or heart problems. I hope I was able to connect the different cultures through books and even food.

EC: It must be nerve-racking for a mother who fears she will outlive her child?

AR: I could not imagine. Yuri’s mom, Katya, desperately wanted to protect her child. Think how worrisome it is for a mother to think her child’s heart could stop beating and not to be able to see any signs. There was this powerful scene in the book where Yuri is sleeping in his crib and she is hovering over him to make sure his chest goes up/down. I interviewed people who had children with rare heart defects and they never wanted to leave their children for even a minute. Another scene has Maggie staying with Yuri so Katya can get some rest. As a mother, I kept thinking Yuri was my child.

EC: Where did the title come from?

AR: I put a sentence in the book, “We have to hope every family has a family cloud that will unite everyone.” It is based on my son saying that to me after my grandmother died. I tried to explain death to him. He wanted to know where she went, how is it she was here one day and gone the next. He looked up to me and said, ‘mommy, I just have to hope there is a family cloud.’ I thought that was so beautiful.

EC: How do you feel about teachers?

AR: This book is a love letter to the beauty of a student/teacher relationship. I wanted to show how teachers leave fingerprints on their students, but also how the student makes an imprint on the teacher. Maggie was able to open up Yuri’s mind and he was able to show her how important it is not to take any day for granted and to live one day at a time. As I look back onto my own life there were teachers who encouraged me to be a writer. They said, when, not if, I will become a writer. They believed in my potential and enriched me.

EC: What was the role of baseball?

AR: In a game anything can change around the corner. Baseball can change on a whim, good and bad. It relates to life, as one thing happens other situations transform.

EC: Are you a fan?

AR: When I was little I was a diehard Yankee fan. My son really loves baseball. He has a boyish wonder and awe of this game. I guess you can say I am a fan indirectly, through my son.

EC: What was the role of music?

AR: In a lot of my books there is a nod to the violin. My daughter and husband play it. I wanted to weave something artful and beautiful that stirs the soul on an artistic level. Where my daughter takes lessons is a luthier, someone who makes and repairs violins. I gave Maggie’s father the backstory of making violins after he retired from his traditional job. I wanted to show my readers you are never too old to learn a new art form. The same can be said of Katya’s background. As a ballet dancer in the Soviet Union I showed the details of what was expected. Hopefully, the sense of beauty that music and dance can bring into our lives will come through. Also, the character Daniel uses his personality to help him with his job. He is a good listener, which enabled him to listen to the notes an orchestra plays and have the parts make a whole.

EC: What do you want readers to get out of the story?

AR: All my novels have a message of being kind to one another as the characters become knitted together. In this book, light was brought into the household. Within a community people could leave a lasting fingerprint on each other.

EC: Can you give a heads up about your next book?

AR: It is about a Viet Nam veteran and a Vietnamese child whose lives collide in the 1980s. They helped each other to heal. It will be another contemporary novel with historical significance.

THANK YOU!!

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pedra-ring-blog · 5 years

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Top 10 Greatest Leonardo DiCaprio Movies of All Time

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