#cause he's a frickin' alien | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writing-ca-ira · 1 year

Text

HASARDER — PART 2

YJ/Teen Titans Dick Grayson x Reader

Part 1 << MASTERLIST >> Part 3

Trying to explain something that doesn’t exist is hard… so you can only imagine what it was like trying to explain the Titans to a bunch of skeptical cops. Luckily for you, they turned you over to a couple of people who believe your story slightly more.

Reader is gender neutral.

Contains: civilian reader, mentions of death (your own), spoilers: you’re actually alive, it’s the you from the YJ universe that’s dead.

You have no idea who you are anymore.

Well, that isn’t true. You’re (Y/N) (L/N), and from how many times you’ve said your name to Leaguers (oh, yes; Leaguers, from the Justice League… but now’s certainly not the time to get starstruck all over again) from this week alone… god… it would be impossible to forget that you’re (Y/N) (L/N). You’ve told Batman, Martian Manhunter, some science guy named Adam, Doctor frickin’ Fate… not to mention all of the lab results that you’ve looked over (well, that you were allowed to look over, anyway. Dick would confide in you about the Bat’s preference for secrecy all the time, so you had a hunch what you’ve seen isn’t all there is to know)… all of them would have your name printed on them; (Y/N) (L/N).

So, yeah. The problem didn’t stem from who you were. It was… well… whose were you.

Of all of the people who got to run their little tests on you — the world’s greatest detective, a telepathic alien, a lord of order — you found it a little funny that it was the random science guy named Adam that provided some sort of lead on your situation. He did an MRI scan on you, and something emitting from your body caused the computers to fritz out a bit. Upon closer inspection, he discovered that there were traces of Zeta Beams in your body.

“Zeta Beams are what power our Zeta Tubes,” Adam explained. “You use Zeta to… teleport.”

Teleport…

Well, that would explain how you ended up on the other side of the country when you… died… in Rhode Island.

You addressed this hypothesis to Mr. Science Dude, wondering if that’s what he himself was thinking. It seemed logical, after all; it’s not like a dead person could get themselves across the country without raising a few federal eyebrows. But Adam shook his head at your words, steel eyes darkening with something unrecognizable.

“I… considered the possibility. Maybe you were somehow hit by a Zeta Beam before you died, and maybe something in string theory…” you recalled him shaking his head, as though to get rid of whatever digression he was going down. “(Y/N)… you’ve been an anomaly to us for a week straight. You died, and then showed up 2 years later in a town we know you’ve never been to. The next logical step — extreme, but still logical — was to dig up your grave, and… you’re still there. It’s still… you… in there.”

That all was his buildup to a jarring question;

“(Y/N)… how much do you know about parallel universes?”

That conversation happened a few days ago. You were now standing in front of the bathroom mirror of some random apartment Batman had you stashed you away in by Adam — a “safe house,” as he called it — studying each and every inch of your face. After waking up at 6 a.m. from a horrible dream about your towermates, you began to worry about the weirdest things. Were you a ghost? Was this all a fever dream from a coma? Did your friends randomly disappear off the face of the Earth like you did, and now they’re “dead” as well?

… Have you stopped looking like yourself?

That last one is why you were staring so intensely at your reflection in the mirror. You looked like… you. At least, you were pretty sure you looked like you. The same skin tone, eye color, hair style… yup, 100% (Y/N). And while you might’ve not been this… world’s… (Y/N), you were still your own (Y/N); the civilian housemate of the Teen Titans and Di— Robin’s best friend. You are the (Y/N) that plays fetch with Starfire and Beastboy, and watches Cyborg tinker with something in the garage while Raven reads in the corner. You are the (Y/N) that listens to Robin vent and then go out for milkshakes to make him feel better. No matter what bits and pieces you may hear about this other (Y/N), the one in the mirror is the one that’s… y’know… you.

I’m (Y/N) (L/N), you thought to yourself. And while I’m… a little lost right now, I’ll be back home with the Titans before I know it. The Justice League will make sure of it.

You watched in real time as your eyes hardened with determination. Batman promised you that they were working on something. While you weren’t exactly sure how parallel universes worked (it was hard to stomach the notion of parallel universes to begin with), you had no other choice but to believe that there was some way to get you back home. In a galaxy with super-powered humans, aliens, magicians, literal gods, what-have-you, there just has to be a way. You got here somehow in the first place, right? Surely, you can go back.

A faint knocking on your door caused you to snap out of your thoughts.

Knock knockknock knock.

Knockknockknockknock.

Knockknock knock.

Knock knock.

You furrowed your brows at the weird rhythm, until you remembered Batman’s instructions; don’t answer the door for anyone unless they knock in that specific pattern (apparently, the pattern was “chum” in Morse). If you heard the code-knock, then that meant it was him at the door, though he hadn’t visited since you since your last time in the lab. After giving yourself a final scan in the mirror, you made your way over to the door and mentally prepared yourself to be face to face with Batman.

… Except, upon opening the door, you weren’t face to face with Batman.

At the doorway stood a man around the same height as Batman, but most definitely not dressed like Batman. Instead, he was dressed like a business casual man, his crisp white button-up layered under a grey sweater and a black coat. His dark slacks looked recently ironed, and his shoes looked just polished. The entire ensemble made his worn down Gotham Knights hat look a bit out of place, but when you noticed his sunglasses, you recognized that this was no stylistic choice; he was undercover (being friends with Robin made you quite familiar with the “civvy” look).

Taking a few moments to study his face, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he looked… familiar. Not a personal kind of familiar, but a what-movie-have-I-seen-this-actor-be-in kind of familiar. That chiseled jawline, those prominent cheekbones, the slight beak of his upper lip… something about him screamed tabloid target to you, and it was eating away at the back of your brain.

Then, it finally hit you. “Bruce Wayne.”

The man in front of you grimaced, the corners of his lips twitching upwards for a fraction of a second as though he were attempted to smile. “You don’t… want an autograph, do you?”

“Uh… I’m good,” was all you could respond with. Formulating a sentence was quite difficult. What were you supposed to say to Gotham’s very own billionaire playboy? You know, they guy whose face is basically everywhere across not only the United States, but the entire world? The guy whose ward is your very own best friend Dick Grayson… who is also Robin… the sidekick of… well…

“… It really is true,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “You’re… him.”

A sigh left Bruce’s lips. “I’m guessing Dick told you everything, then.”

You shook your head at this. “Not really. He only told me his name was Dick. Then he showed me his face one day, and…” you tried to fight off the urge to look smug from your own detective skills. “Only so many people in the world have the same face as Richard Grayson.”

Just as only so many people in the world have the same face as (Y/N) (L/N).

That thought painfully reminded you of the reality of your situation. This wasn’t Bruce Wayne. Well, it was, but it wasn’t your Bruce Wayne. And his ward, Richard Grayson, wasn’t your Dick. These were all strangers that may look, sound, and act like people from your world, but… this wasn’t your world.

And one look at Mr. Wayne’s troubled face told you he was thinking something along those lines. “(Y/N)… can I come in?”

You silently nodded, stepping aside to make room. The billionaire crossed the threshold of the apartment and watched intently as you closed the door. No words were said for an uncomfortable couple of seconds, and you soon realized you would have to be the one to speak up first.

“So… is there anything new? About sending me home?”

Mr. Wayne pursed his lips together. “No. Nothing new.” One of his hands moved to soothingly plant itself on your shoulder. “But rest assured, we’re doing everything we can to figure out a way. We’ll get you home, (Y/N).”

This… was weird. Not just the fact that Bruce Wayne was comforting you, but the man that’s supposedly Batman — Gotham’s protector that strikes fear in the hearts of criminals — is being… well… kind. During your interrogations with the Caped Crusader, he was nothing but cold and distant with you, making you feel as though you’re guilty of something despite knowing you’ve done nothing wrong. And Dick tells you stories of Batman’s heartlessness all the time (by sticking his pointer fingers up by his head and doing his best Batman voice). Was it because you were talking to Bruce Wayne, and not Batman, that he was kind to you?

Maybe THIS Batman is just so different from MY Batman, you mentally noted.

Nevertheless, you offered Mr. Wayne a sad smile. “Thank you… and…” your smile dropped as you thought of this world’s (Y/N), “… I’m sorry…”

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” said Mr. Wayne. “You have no idea how you ended up here, and really, this whole thing is a field day for our trusted scientists.” He offered you a lopsided grin. “Adam Strange has been talking everyone’s ear off about… stuff that I don’t really understand.”

You tried to give out a humored laugh, but it came out more as a pathetic chortle. “Always happy to help make earth-shattering discoveries in the realm of theoretical physics.”

But… of all the people in the world (well, you’re world) to be a scientific anomaly, why did it have to be you? You were just a normal civilian that just so happened to live with the Titans. There’s no reason why you should be involved with this whole parallel universe fiasco… and what if there isn’t a way to send you home? What if there’s so many parallel universes out there that it’s impossible to pinpoint yours? What if you spent the rest of your life being studied by scientist after scientist in this foreign timeline, while your own universe becomes nothing but a distant memory?

Mr. Wayne’s deep voice brought you back to reality. “(Y/N)…”

Your eyes snapped back to him. “Uh… yeah?”

“I… didn’t just want to check up on you,” the billionaire hesitantly admitted, his brows furrowed with uncertainty. “There’s… well… there’s something…”

The way he trailed off made you feel uneasy. Though you were hoping this wasn’t going where you thought it was going, you knew it had something to do with… the elephant in the room. It was the one thing for the past week that caused your stomach to churn and your throat to constrict with pure guilt.

Of course, never addressing it seemed very unlikely. “It’s about… your (Y/N), isn’t it?”

Mr. Wayne stood as Still as a statue for a brief period, but eventually let out a shaky sigh. “The only people who know about… this situation… are me, Martian Manhunter, Adam Strange, and Doctor Fate. We have a few JL-affiliated scientists working on the possibility of dimensional travel, but… your name has been kept out of those projects.” His voice was becoming more and more gruff, reminiscent of the Batman voice you were accustomed to. “You do understand why it’s preferable that way, right?”

“Everyone who knew the (Y/N) here knows they’re…” you could barely finish your sentence without the stinging sensation of bile rising in your throat. “They’re… dead. It’s just better to keep your (Y/N)’s close ones away from all of this… just so no one gets false hope.”

At your response, Mr. Wayne nodded. “Exactly. We’re trying to send you home without anyone noticing you were here.” He then bowed his head towards the floor. “At least… that was the plan…”

You dumbly blinked at him. “Was?”

The billionaire took his sunglasses off to rub his face. “… Dick… he…”

Your heart rate picked up when he mentioned Dick, but you had to remind yourself that it wasn’t your Dick he was talking about. This Dick wasn’t your best friend that you like to hang out with around Jump City. All you could do was patiently wait for Mr. Wayne to continue as apprehension ate at your brain.

“He found out,” he finally admitted. “About you. I don’t know how, but I’m sure he had… some help.” Worry lines formed on his face as his ocean-colored eyes found yours. “He wasn’t happy that he was kept out of the loop, and… he wants to see you.”

“But I’m not his (Y/N),” you quickly blurted out. “I… I mean… I’m not the (Y/N) from this world. I’m not the same (Y/N) that… knew him.”

“And he knows you aren’t.” Mr. Wayne’s frown somehow grew bigger. “At least, he says that he knows you aren’t. He just feels… kept in the dark. You were his— (Y/N) was his best friend, and he told me that… I shouldn’t keep secrets about his best friend. Even if it… isn’t…”

“… his best friend,” you finished.

Mr. Wayne slowly nodded. There was a blanket of silence that fell over the room, and it felt like hours later when the billionaire spoke up again. “He was… extremely upset. You two were close, so I… I understand. But… you were also close with so many other people that… that it’s…” he had to lean against the wall to steady himself. “I thought I… was doing the right thing. I thought I was saving him from so much pain and… and heartache by hiding all of this…”

The immense self-pity that wafted from his form reminded you so much of Dick that you struggled to breathe. Moments like these were all too familiar to you; Dick would disappear after a mission, and you would find him beating himself over the head for something. You wondered if the Dick in this universe was the same exact way, and if the Dick from your universe got it from your Batman.

“Dick never liked secrets,” you began, putting a hand on Mr. Wayne’s shoulder, much like he did for you not too long ago. “He would always tell me about some guy named B, and how B didn’t seem to trust him.” You cleared your throat in order to attempt your best Robin impression. “I’m his partner!! He needs to trust me more!! I don’t wanna have anything to do with him!!”

A sad puff of air left the man’s lips. “… That definitely sounds familiar.”

“But if there’s one thing I know about Dick…” you couldn’t help but roll your else. “He’s a giant hypocrite.” Mr. Wayne’s eyes snapped up to meet yours quizzically while you continued. “Do you know how many secrets he’s hidden from the Titans? And how many he still keeps hidden? Can’t believe that guy has the audacity to go on and on about how he hates B’s lies, only to turn around and lie to his own team.” Throwing your arms up dramatically, you let out a frustrated sigh. “And I tell him! Every time his secrets are brought to light, I tell him, Dick, why would you keep secrets from your team if you hate secrets? And you know what he says?“

Mr. Wayne continued to stare at you. You gave him a reassuring smile and answered your own question, “he says, I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“… Wow,” was all the man could mutter.

“Deep down, he knows you were trying to keep him safe,” you explained, heart squeezing as you thought about your best friend. “Because it’s the same thing he would’ve done.”

Another puff of air came from Mr. Wayne, though it sounded more humorous than the last one. “You always knew him better. Probably could predict his next move before he even thinks to make it.” Any fondness that he held in his face turned stone cold. “… It’s been hard. Without you, I mean. It’s been hard for him, for me, for everyone. If only…” he cut himself off, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I… this must be uncomfortable for you.”

A frown tugged at the corner of your lips as you watched him straighten up. “It’s okay, Mr. Wayne… I understand. It’s… probably better to get everything off of your chest, right? Maybe it’ll help with healing?”

“… You’re not (Y/N),” the man uttered, voice barely above a whisper. It was hard to tell if he was speaking to you or himself, so you didn’t respond (it was hard to tell if you even had the right to respond). Taking a few steps towards the doorway, he gave you a solemn look. “I… apologize for putting you in an awkward position, with mentioning Dick and all, but I just wanted to give you a word of warning.”

“A word of warning,” your flat voice echoed.

He nodded, fiddling with his sunglasses. “He’ll show up here eventually when he obtains the address. It’s… inevitable, and I know I can’t do anything to stop it. But… when he does…” a small pause, “be careful with what you say.”

Though he didn’t elaborate, you knew exactly what he meant; don’t give Dick any false hope. A heavy lump formed in your throat as you tried to give a response. “Of course… I will.”

And, with that, Bruce Wayne was out the door.

Your first encounter with this universe’s Bruce Wayne was officially over. This was a crazy week (to say the least), but you never thought that your next VIP visitor would be Bruce Wayne. And he seemed… very unstable. Which you totally understood; you’re a parallel version, or alternate dimension version, or a whatever version of a very dead (Y/N), and that (Y/N) was close to a lot of people (including Batman, apparently?). It didn’t help that he and Dick must’ve had a fight quite recently, and you could only imagine how hard it was to admit to your son that you were keeping secrets… for his protection… again. Yeah, you don’t blame him for that tiny pity party he had.

Putting billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne aside for a moment, your thoughts went to Dick.

He’s trying to come see you.

You had… absolutely no idea how to feel about this. Part of you was excited, relieved even, to see his face. After an entire week of not seeing your best friend’s face, it would calm you down significantly. But… of course… this wasn’t your best friend; this was another (Y/N)’s best friend. And that (Y/N) is… no longer here. Excitement boiled into dread very quickly at the thought. This Dick Grayson knew you weren’t his (Y/N) (L/N)… so why would he want to come see you? At first, you thought it might’ve been for closure. While you weren’t his (Y/N), you were still (Y/N) in general, and maybe seeing you would be enough to help him… move on.

The thought sounded nice… but you knew Richard John “Dick” Grayson better than that.

Dick is a very defensive person… especially when it comes to the honor of his friends. If things start getting rough, you can practically see him put his shields up. And if he feels like things have gone too far, he’ll go fully offensive. You’ve seen it happen countless of times with you and the Titans, where he steps in with a sharp tongue and fists ready to fly whenever some unlucky jerk comes after one of you.

This Dick Grayson wasn’t your Dick Grayson, but judging from your conversation with Mr. Wayne, he’s pretty dang similar in both worlds. And if this world’s (Y/N) was his friend…

Then you’re the unlucky jerk coming after them.

#Young Justice x reader #Teen Titans x reader #Dick Grayson x reader #Robin Dick Grayson #Nightwing Dick Grayson

301 notes · View notes

crabonfire · 11 months

Note

Oo can I have a platonic hcs of reader just gossiping with any of the mercs?

oh my god.

Platonic! S/O gossiping with Merc.

characters: all mercs 😱😱😱😱

note: hehehehhehhHYahhahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHhhahahhhagagagagHaggaHAGHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHhhahahahahahahhahahhHhHahHA A

sorru if some r short! My excuse is cause I'm lazy, or idk what to write for em. (You take a guess for which one is the real one.)

warning: gossip girls tick me off 😡😡😡

♧Scout♧

• It all started one day, Engie was arguing with Heavy about something, and you knew what happened on Engie's side, but you didn't know about Heavy. You asked the other mercs for information but they didn't budge, saying they didn't wanna get involved. But scout approached you, whispering and giggling about what happened, why they argued.

You two really hit it off!

And even after the whole thing went down, you still found yourself gossiping with him after matches about anything interesting you found.

Fortunately for you he did the same!

• Since then on, you guys gossip a lot. Enemy drama, team drama, and sometimes gossip on dumb shit on the newspaper or a celebrity thing.

• "Dude, have you heard about the enemy Pyro? I heard they might be a chick."

"What? Really?"

"Yea, like...I overheard it from one of the janitors."

"Huh. I can see it."

"Really? How? I always thought they were some sorta...weird..alien in a suit."

"Why?"

"...Cause they're frickin' weird and...don't talk."

"That's so rude man, are you saying all aliens are quiet? You don't know them."

"You sayin' you know any?"

"No. But don't say stuff like that. That's so stereotypical."

"FYM STEREOTYPICAL??????"

"IDK DUDE JUST STOP BEING A DICK. The girl thing makes more sense then whatever stupid theory you have."

"Fuck you, I have great theories!"

You scoff, "Me when I lie."

♧Soldier and Demo♧

• if your buddies with Soldier, Demo is gonna be buddy buddy with you.

• Soldier honestly doesn't like to gossip much, but on the rare occasion where he knows something, he's gonna be up at night with you, talking about what he saw and making theories about it.

• Demo likes his cup of gossip now and then, not as big on it as you'd think though, he'd love to know but if it doesn't interest him he won't care.

• Usually Demo and Soldier do their own thing together a bunch, and man have they heard some things.

• They'd both approach you with new gossip, Demo trying not to laugh while Soldier shoves pictures of Scouts naked mother and Spy together in your face, exclaiming that "THEY ARE MAKING LOVE! SCOUT IS NOT A TRUE AMERICAN! HES A FRENCHIE :*("

♧Pyro and Engie♧

• same goes for em, you friends with Pyro your bound to hear shit from Engie.

• It was your first day, you were assigned as a janitor in the base and you were cleaning. Already you would hear all sorts of funny shit that would happen in those walls. Arguing, drama, secrets like how Spy is Scouts dad? Honestly it was a lot to hear in one day but wow.

• You were cleaning the common room, and you didn't notice as you were mopping but somebody had walked in. They were so quiet, you didn't know how with the fact they had a very heavy looking fire retardant suit on. You jumped a bit, laughing to yourself.

"Sorry I didn't see you there."

They replied, but it was muffled by their mask. You blinked, "Oh um, sorry dude I can't really hear you." They continued anyway, muttering muffled "huddas" like you would understand. You didn't.

An awkward silence overcame the room, you decided to break it.

"Hey, you know...I heard while I was cleaning...is it true that there's living...pieces of bread here?"

They nodded, chuckling under the mask remembering the situation about it. You smiled, laughing along. "What? That's crazy. I thought that was a joke. It's my first day and I'm already hearing so much about this place. These walls are NOT thick."

• From that moment, you talked with them in your own way, they'd write their replies on a piece of paper and even tell you some things about the other mercs.

• You two really hit it off, after their matches, if they could find you, they'd slip pieces of paper in your cleaning supplies for you to read on your breaks, and you'd reply by leaving notes under their door.

And as time went on, you had learned to understand them. Now it was much more fun to listen to them actually tell the stories and giggle over gossip.

They LOVE gossiping honestly. Since they are unnoticed usually they can get away with blending in the background to listen to whatever the others talk about.

• Because of your new friendship, Engie respects you for not belittling Pyro, and finds your company to be a nice change to the quiet and sometimes even crude folk he works with.

• "ENGIE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT WE HEARD-"

"MMHUDA MMHU-" [WE SAW-]

"Wait I thought I was gonna tell him?"

"Mmmhuh mmhuh, mmhhf mhuh hhhuhd." [Oh yeah, sorry go on."

"NO NO it's okay you do it."

"Mmhuh mmhuh, mmh-" [Okay okay, so-]

Insert the three of you laughing your asses off shittalking the enemy team for dirt you found of them.

"No way, are you two serious?"

"DEAD SERIOUS ENGIE, We literally saw it happen. Pi has photo evidence."

"Mmhh!" [Yeah!] Pyro pulls out the pictures, having a lot more of them than they should. Engie holds them in his hands, pausing before erupting into howling laughter.

"PFFT- OH MY GOD." He exclaims, slapping his thigh as he laughs uncontrollably.

• Engie doesn't hear much gossip, but if he hears gossip about him from you two he's gonna be grumpy for the rest of the day 😭😭😭 so if you hear anybody talking bad about him do not tell him or else he's gonna look like this

♧Heavy♧

• hates gossiping IM SORRRYYYY

• Will gladly listen to you gossip, but won't say anything, even if he has his own opinions about the situation. Best you'll get out of him is "That's absurd." Or "Haha, that is funny." But he will not say shit on it.

• He likes to listen because it's interesting to him, but he does not like to gossip himself because he finds it rude to gossip. Will not judge you though, you bring him quality stories to laugh and think about. (Plus now he has dirt on those people.)

• BUTTT if you're upset, he'll try to cheer you up by telling you gossip. And the gossip? It's always juicy. Like, "no fucking way" type of juicy. He has so much dirt on the other mercs and so much he knows about them, but he only tells you these things so that you can laugh and smile again. But won't say anything else, just let you theorise.

♧Medic♧

• loves gossiping.

• gossips with Heavy, and his birds.

• sorry idk what to write he's just a silly gossip girl 😋

• though surprisingly, he tends to keep that gossip to himself, and never actually gossips about anything he's unsure of. He thinks it's rude to speak of things that are merely "rumors"

• plus its better if it's proven to be real gossip anyway

• he's an asshole but he has his standards

♧Sniper♧

• Likes his fair share and also knows his fair share of gossip.

• Usually your the one talking, but the reactions you get out of him with the shit you tell him are priceless. Sometimes he laughs so hard he hits the table you two are talking by repeatedly, telling you to "Cut it out" or "No way"

• His gossip is mostly about the team, he doesn't care or know much about the enemy team.

• you two actually got along because of gossip, you two were out on a mission, and to break the boring yet awkward tension, you started to gossip with him, and surprisingly he enjoyed the talk.

• you guys are best friends because of this honestly, like Heavy, he likes to cheer you up by telling you some "hot goss" you cringe a little whenever he says that but he just wants to make you happy again.

• honestly idk how else to make this long, he's gossips, but not an insane amount

♧Spy♧

• never gossip but knows EVERYTHING 😭

• very rarely gossips with anybody, but he simply tells you very...subtle details about a certain thing, leaving you curious and wondering about what it's about / who's involved.

• he only actually gossips with you if it's late at night, everyone is asleep, he's in his smoking room having drunk a couple glasses of wine here and there, and maybe then he'll do it.

But it's a rare occasion.

Still, it's always fun for him to hear your thoughts on it. He simply listens to you, smiling here and there and rolling his eyes at your quips.

• he doesn't really gossip? more like...just...insult the person you two are talking about. he gets a kick out of it, especially when you make such funny jokes about the situation.

• yeah u guys r kinda mean 😭😭😭😭

anyways hope yall enjoyed woo (can you tell engie's text is always the longest in every one of these nevause he's my favourite? Yeah I do it on purpose.)

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #tf2 engineer #tf2 pyro #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 demo #tf2 soldier #sniper tf2 #i almost forgot to write medic into this lmao

156 notes · View notes

thedepressedespresso · 1 year

Text

Okay so-

I just randomly have a GREAT idea of Reader being some kind of alien shape-shifter thing. Like you can't die, your body would regenerate back even your head. And you can also shape-shifting into animals or monstrous things, basically kinda inspired by Parasyte but not the entire same.

And plus I'm fricking horny for some Dom reader x sub slashers stuff-

So I'm gonna do this with our Slashers bbg's 😌😌

I'm sorry if some of them are out of characters 😭😭😭

Summary: Slashers with a Shape-shifter Alien s/o(I hope I get it right hhh-)

Trigger Warning: Blood and gore, Typical Slashers violence, deaths, murders, cannibalism, implied(?) NSFW, reader is a Dom and has tentacles, reader will act a little weird cause they're not even a human in the first place-

Michael Myers -

You two met when he was trying to kill you.

He stabbed you, you didn't react, he repeated it, you're still fine. He kept doing it until you were eventually frustrated.

So then yuh- Your hand turns into a tentacle and keeps him away from you.

You didn't kill him eventually. You just let him go and leave him on the spot.

So he gets interested in you and begins to stalk you a lot, which you already noticed cause... You're not a human duh you're a frickin alien so your hearing is more sensitive than that of ordinary humans.

And you two dated.

You two being together will be a disaster to the Haddonfield town.

As an alien, of course there's gonna be a time where you have to lash your desire out.

Went on a killing date weeee-

You two would also fight for dominance with each other though.

An Alien Shape-Shifter and the Boogeyman, who will win?

You win, by 'impressing' him with your tentacles during a night when your horniness kicks in.

Jason Voorhees -

You just accidentally stumble across the Crystal Lake camp out of curious.

And of course, you're an intruder and Jason has finished you off his territory.

And yes, he attacked you, you didn't react to the machete that slices into your head.

Instead you're curious why his 'face'(mask) is slightly different from the other humans.

So he lets you be, and you stay in the camp cause you're curious.

There was a time when you were curious about the lake and went near it, you tripped and dropped into the lake.

Luckily Jason pulls you up in time(even though you'll still be fine cause you can't drown.). And then you were frozen up like a cat in his hands.

He found out you're an alien by witnessing you chewing up on a deer RAW while it twitches and restrained by your tentacles helplessly.

Man now he's kinda scared.

But hey you're a helping hand to deal with those victims that stumble across his territory to do "clap clap clap"

And of course you also saw a few of them.

He told you sex is bad, but then why do those people look like they're having fun but then have to get it ruined by Jason like that?

And ye- you tried it out with Jason eventually.

He actually enjoyed it, but told you to not do that again.

By the way after the deer incident, he will still let you hunt some animals down to eat. But if you're curious with some of them and playing with them like a cat while the poor animals are practically terrified, he will smack you in the head and then taught you how to properly treat animals in a nicer and gentle way.

Bubba Sawyer -

The moment when your upper body crawls up like a Teke Teke after he just slice you in half with his chainsaw terrified him.

You crawled to your legs, and then you put yourself together and then boom. You can stand up again.

You're not mad though, instead you're curious about his chainsaw. So you approach and he backs away until you eventually corners him.

So you stayed in the Sawyers house. Mainly lives in the room where Bubba usually finishes off the victims.

There was one time you mimicked the chainsaw onto your hand(chainsaw man reference/j). And great Bubba is more terrified of you, good job (Y/n).

But you still like to hang around with Bubba, cause you don't like Drayton's harsh attitude. Or the way Chop Top and Nubbins acted around you. You still have boundaries and at least Bubba respects them >:[

And you got attached to Bubba, not out of Stockholm of course you literally have the more upper power as an immortal shape-shifting alien 😀

Even though he's terrifying for the victims that were chased by him. But behind all those facades it's just a soft boy who's doing all the work for the survival of his family.

You would like to snuggle onto his belly and chest a lot CAUSE IT'S SOFT URGGHHHHH

So you decided to help him with some of the work. Including the hunt, which Bubba doesn't want you to get involved in. But you kept insisting until Bubba agree.

And of course after staying around with Drayton, you eventually learned about insults, which you don't like a lot when he says it to Bubba.

You won't hurt him though, cause Bubba will be upset. But you will glaring at him sternly for it.

But if a victim dares to lay a comment on Bubba.

You'll cutely tear their legs off with bare hands 😊

And then one day, you're suddenly horny-

It was difficult to convince Bubba for it though, he's actually concerned and has no concept of sex since Drayton would never have taught him that.

So you guide him and let him adjust to your tentacles.

It was a kind of great experience to Bubba(mainly because you're being gentle enough to him and plus you praise him a lot) so maybe there will be another time but he'll ask for it instead 😳

Thomas Hewitt -

Same start with Bubba, he just impaled your chest with his chainsaw and then your face is like 😐

When you moved and eventually removed the chainsaw off your chainsaw he was concerned.

And yep, you stayed in the Hewitts house out of curiosity.

Hoyt had tried to kick you out many times until you eventually roared at him, your jaw opened in an inhuman angle and your sharp teeth were shown from it(just imagine it like Pennywise-)

And now you're officially living with the Hewitts now.

At first Thomas is unsure of you going with the same cannibalism habit with him until he sees you chewing up on a victim's leg who are strapped onto the table in his basement(you live in it),,,

You're a great help with the hunting though, your sharp senses can detect an escaped victim.

And plus you can easily take down a victim whenever they fight against the Hewitts.

And during the dinner there would be few victims will be 'invited' to the table. If one of them dares to lay a comment to Tommy you'll grab their hair and rips it with great strength to the point their scalps ripped off.

But with all of that, you're still easily curious with many things like a child. So Luda Mae will lecture and teach you lots of basic human stuff.

And then boom one night, your horniness kicks in.

Thomas was scared at first with your tentacles suddenly goes out of control, until you reassure him and lecture him about it.

So you guide him with it and he's pretty adjusted more quickly than Bubba.

And it felt good, but I don't think he'll ask for another one because it actually took a lot of energy out of him.

Brahms Heelshire -

You accidentally break into the mansion just after Greta has left.

So then Brahms gave you the note of the rules. You're kinda curious and interested.

So you actually follow the rules for a few days. Until you eventually begin to notice that, you're not alone in here.

And you actually thought the doll was a real person. But he didn't really move much since he's a doll, and you thought he's dead hsjsksk-

There's a one time you tried to bury the doll 💀, and which makes Brahms cause a huge tantrums around the house.

Your defense instinct was accidentally triggered as you heard noises behind those walls right beside you so you punched straight into it.

And boom you discovered Brahms, scared while your hand was just right beside his head and your fist punches to the surface behind him(accidental wall pinning? 😳)

And days after days, Brahms eventually notice that you're different than a normal human.

Like what kind of normal human will just drag a dead deer into the house as a dinner 😦

But you two still get along, since Brahms was just 'abandoned' by Greta so he gets attached to you a lot and you don't really mind it.

And he eventually discovered that you're an alien at the day where you're horny-

He was scared of the tentacles. But still listens to you cause he wants to be your good boy 🥺

And he eventually liked it. So he'll ask and beg for it a lot after a few days. Which he had to wait until your arousal kicks in again.

And uhhh that's all I guess-

Just do this out of frustrations of not being able to find a fic/one shot of a reader domming tf out of these beefy submissive and breedable murderous bbgirls-

I'm sorry if this is bad and I wouldn't be surprised for it :')

And btw the switch roles AU hcs is still in making but my exam is coming soon and my writer block for it is getting worse so it's gonna be delayed for a while and I'm very sorry for it,,,

👉👈

#slashers #slashers x reader #slashers x you #slashers headcanons #michael myers x reader #jason voorhes x reader #bubba sawyer x reader #thomas hewitt x reader #brahms heelshire x reader #dom reader #sub slashers

131 notes · View notes

t-h-i-n-g · 2 years

Note

Can you do a Steve harrington x Henderson!reader set when they break into Victor’s house and decide to split up (season 4, episode 5) where the reader offers to go by herself since they’re unequal and Steve (and Dustin) is against the idea cause he loves her? Thank you!

Three Is Just Fine

(gif not mine credits to owner)

a/n: thanks for the request! I hope you enjoy!

word count: 1.1k

summary: no way he was letting you go off on your own. in this climate, really? there’s a frickin naked, alien, ninja turtle on the loose for christs sake. what? were you insane?

warnings: past trauma mention, scars, if i missed any let me know!!

st - masterlist m.masterlist

--------------

You stood behind Steve and Nancy as they used their hammers to un-board the door. Next to you was Dustin, you looked over at him, arms crossed over your chest. Steve turned to Nancy.

“What exactly are we supposed to be looking for in this shithole?” he asked.

“We’re not sure,” Nancy said, “We just know this house is important to Vecna.”

“Because Max saw it in Vecna’s red soup mind world?”

“Basically.”

“If that was soup I’d rather eat Mom’s meatloaf than that,” you muttered to Dustin. His face scrunched up in disgust.

“I’d prefer the soup,” he stated. You took a moment to ponder the thought before nodding.

“Yeah, Vecna’s mind soup can’t be worse than that chemical warfare.”

“Great,” Steve replied to Nancy.

“Maybe it holds a clue to where Vecna is,” Dustin mentions, “Why he’s back. Why he killed the Creels. And how to stop him before he comes back for Max.” You glanced over at the girl in question.

“We don’t think he’s in here, do we?” Lucas asked.

“Guess we’ll find out,” Max stated.

“Y/n, stand back a little,” Steve commanded gently. You nodded moving back a step as both him and Nancy let the door fall. He put his hand on the doorknob, and tried to turn it. “It’s locked,” Steve muttered, “Should I knock, see if anybody’s home?”

“No need,” Robin spoke up, a brick in hand, “I found a key.”

The glass shattered as she threw the heavy object into the window. Steve peered through the hole before sticking his arm in it. Opening the door from the inside. It creaked as he stepped in. Once everyone entered Steve closed the door behind them.

“Looks like someone forgot to pay their electric bill,” Lucas remarked, trying to turn the lights on with a switch. Dustin handed you a flashlight, turning on his own in the process. Steve’s brows furrowed.

“Where’d everyone get those?” he asked. Both you and Dustin turned to him.

“Do you need to be told everything?” Dustin questioned. You suppressed a laugh. Steve just blinked. “You’re not a child.” A chuckle passed through you trying to stop it with a hand over your mouth.

“Thank you,” Steve nodded sarcastically.

“Back pocket,” Dustin instructed, taking off his backpack, handed it to Steve, then proceeding to approach the others. You nudged Steve’s hip with yours.

“Yeah, Steve geez, back pocket,” you said in a teasing tone. You watched him over your shoulder as you took after Dustin. Steve smiled at you sarcastically nodding his head again. Chuckling once more you turned your gaze back to in front of you. Steve’s eyes lingered on you for a moment before dropping the bag onto the floor.

Moving your flashlight around the area, your vision followed the places the light landed on.

“Hey, you guys see that right?” Max questioned. Your attention went to her, Steve’s arm brushed against your back as he made his way past you, approaching the girl. You followed, staring at the clock in front of her.

“Yeah,” he and Dustin said in sync.

“Is this what you saw?” Nancy asked, “In your visions?” Max nodded.

“I mean, it’s… just a clock,” Robin stated, peering over Max’s shoulder. “Right?” She maneuvered her way past the girl. Approaching the object in question, wiping the dust off the glass. “Like a normal old clock.”

“Why is this wizard obsessed with clocks?” Steve asked, to no one in particular. “Maybe he’s, like, a clockmaker or something?” You huffed a laugh.

“Wow, Steve I think you got it,” you remarked sarcastically.

“Yeah, I think you cracked the case,” Dustin added. Steve once again looked at the two of you. An annoyed glare finding its wat to his face.

“All I know is the answers are here,” Nancy stated, “Somewhere.”

“Alright how about we split up,” you offered, “We can go in groups of two; cover more ground that way. I’ll go off on my own-”

“Woah, woah, woah, pause. You want to go off on your own? In this murder house?” Steve asked you.

“Yeah, I do. It’s not my first rodeo, dude. Who was the one who killed four demodogs with just a kitchen knife? If I can take them, I’m pretty sure I can take on an abandoned house. Like I said we can cover more ground that way anyway,” you stated.

“Sure you took them on but what happened to you because of it?” Steve questioned with a pointed expression, putting you on the spot. You frowned recalling the state you were in afterward. A hand subconsciously rubbing the scar on your thigh through your pants. His face softened. “Three groups is enough to cover one house is what I’m trying to get at.” You stared into his eyes, seeing the pleading behind them.

“Steve’s right on this one,” Dustin spoke up, “We don’t want to split up thinking nothings in here and if something does happen no ones gonna be there to help. You don’t need to sacrifice yourself again, Y/n. Plus like he said three is enough to cover the house.” you pursed your lips pondering the options. You looked across the group, taking in their solemn expressions at past memories. Sighing you came to a conclusion.

“Fine, whatever.” Nancy pulled Robin to go upstairs. Max tugged Lucas to another direction. Dustin turned to Steve’s whose eyes were still on you. You watched as the groups went their separate ways. Fidgeting with your flashlight to think of where to go.

Dustin cleared his throat, catching yours and Steve’s attention. Steve took one look at him and sighed, starting to make his way through the house.

“Was that a sigh?” Dustin asked in an offended tone. Steve turned once more to you nodding in the direction of the stairs. You followed.

“No it wasn’t a sigh,” Steve replied.

“Why’d you sigh?

“I didn’t sigh. Just come on, dude.” You quietly listened to the argument.

“I heard you,” Dustin stated.

“We… We’re just always partners, okay,” Steve explained briefly.

“You have a problem with that?”

“It’d just be nice to, I don’t know, mix it up a bit.”

“I’m boring you?” Dustin asked, “Is that it?”

“No, the opposite…”

“Well it is mixed up. I’m here with you two dummies,” you butted in. Steve stopped and looked down at you from a couple steps up. You moved to be on the same level as him. He continued to gaze into your eyes as you smiled at him. “Keep staring like that though and everyone's gonna find out you’re in love with me, Harrington. Then everything is gonna be mixed up. At least wait till we beat the naked ninja turtle, kay?” you said, patting his cheek, making your way up the stairs. Steve froze, eyes wide. He eyed Dustin as he passed. It was his turn to be on the same level as Steve.

“It’s a little late for that,” Dustin informed, “Everyone already knows.” He continued to climb the stairs after you. Steve's jaw dropped watching the kid rush past. He snapped himself out of it, quickly following after Dustin.

“What do you mean everyone knows!? How does she know!?”

------------

likes and reblogs are appreciated :)

#stranger things x reader #steve harrington x reader #platonic!dustin henderson x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harringtonx you #steve harrington x yn #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic

452 notes · View notes

ozblok · 7 months

Text

My 5 Favorite Bayverse Transformer Designs

5. Dark of the Moon - Shockwave

I'm not usually a fan of Transformers without an earth mode but this was just so badass. They not only made him a scientist but also a bounty hunter that hunts down his targets. His arm cannon is just perfect to me, he can change ammunition types with a pull of a lever from large blasts to smaller yet multiple missiles. His face is menacing with a insect like maw snaring out orders. He's even accompanied by a massive monster he created known as the Driller Bot forged from his fallen enemies and now a rampaging beast. I especially love the ribcage design in his chest, really gives him an alien appearance.

4. Dark of the Moon - Que (Wheeljack)

Personally an underrated character in the movies, yes I understand the problem with him being Wheeljack. Mainly the fact he looks nothing or sounds nothing like how he does in the original source material, but I don't care. I absolutely love the Albert Einstein look they ave him, I'll admit I don't see him as Wheeljack but more of a separate character "Que". He actually invented things to assist the autobots like battle modes for their vehicles, armor, weapons and tools for battle. They even gave him a lab coat look on his waist with some car interior and how he's just wearing tools on him just in case. Shame they killed him off would've loved to see more from him, rest in peace Que.

3. Revenge of the Fallen - Mixmaster

A good reason why I love the Bayverse designs is the USE of kibble from Alt modes to robot modes and Mixmaster is a great example of creative kibble use. Basically making the entire back of the truck become his arms which are equipped with massive shields for defense against enemy attacks and projectiles. To balance out this wall they have his a massive artillery cannon on his back which he needs to do a handstand to actually use it and it must pack a serious punch. His vehicle mode also comes with a decepticon insignia on the mixer and a custom hood ornament which was unnecessary but happy they gave him it. Plus he gets an upgrade from G1 cause instead of being the foot/leg of Devastator he gets to be the frickin head, my favorite constructicon.

2. Transformers 2007 - Brawl

I see Brawl as the weapon specialist of the decepticons, an equal to ironhide given to how many weapons they manage to fit on both his robot and tank mode. The tank treads and mine sweepers on his torso is yet another great example is creative kibble management, even storing tank barrels on his and rocket pods on his shoulders. His squishes head design looks grumpy and old, giving off a vibe like he takes his job seriously, managing to take on a group of soldiers and autobots but his death in the first movie. If Barricade got a redesign I'm the Last Knight based off a cop,I wonder if Brawl survived maybe he would've been based off a sergeant or a general.

Transformers 2007 - Blackout

This right here is my favorite decepticon NO my favorite transformers to ever exist. The very first transformer to be seen in live action and he singlehandedly annihilated an entire military base. His kibble of the helicopter appearing as a bulking vest decorated for battle, even using the helicopter blades as a kind of cape with the motor above his head. He even is given a minicon Scorpinoks who can be launched and stored from his back, it can be used for scouting or filtration in enemy lines for a sneak attack. Blackout is a soldier who tends to get his orders done, his isn't a fool like his massive younger brother Grindor who tumbles Everytime he lands almost falling over. Blackout is equipped with weapons such as the rear propeller as a spinning saw, miniguns, chest turret and powerful waves/pulses of energy. Ever sense I was a child Blackout has been my favorite for years even with his limited screentime, I praise the bay films for hooking me into the transformers franchise and giving me something to enjoy.

#transformers #transformers bayverse #list #random #I understand the flaws of the bayverse but I just can't hate them #No I don't hate G1 just because I like bayverse

7 notes · View notes

microscotch · 1 year

Text

“I don’t really know what to think anymore. Maxxx is a great guy but he’s so possessive that I just had to make a point, you know?”

“He kinda doesn’t really want to get the message, though...”

-“How about a little exxxtra spice 🔥🔥🔥??”

- “AND TRUST ME, I FRICKIN’ CRUSHED IT THIS MORNING, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MAXXX’S EYES! I’D BE SURPRISED IF SHE’S STILL ABLE TO WA-.”

- “Dude, I SO don’t want to hear about your d-game.”

“I don’t trust either of them. One day Roz acts all morally superior just ‘cause I was close to crashing my UFO into this hoard of degenerates, and now he brags TO ME about stealing another guy’s girl. Or maybe going for April’s implant ass is his way of dealing with me turning down his hatefuck offer? Whatever complex this qualifies as.”

-”WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING??”

-”Keeping my eyes on your fake ass, literally and figuratively.”

-”Excuse me??? First, there’s nothing fake about daily pilates with Misty Waters. Second, not into girls and third, DON’T STALK ME WHILE YOU’RE TAKING A DUMP.”

“Actually, I just wanted to piss her off.”

-“Drop that hairy piece of filth and be with me, April! We look so much hotter together, plus you can be the no name bimbo breaking my heart in all my music videos once my career really takes off!”

-”Oooo when you put it that way...”

“Maxxx really does know how to charm a girl. Who knows, maybe we truly are meant to be together after all. I mean, if he didn’t care about me, he’d just be looking for another girl as we speak.”

-“Damn April, I gotta give it to you, you really are outdoing everyone in this house!”

-”Embarrassingly low bar, let’s all be honest - I mean, Watcher, I just wasn’t sure about what I wanted. :( ”

-”Pfft, not hard when she’s living with both douchebags.”

-”Jealous much, desert queen Isabella?”

-”I just have class and don’t take every available opportunity because I’m cheap. All that talk about me having dated over 25 football players are just cruel lies!”

-”I haven’t heard anyone talk about it on here besides you-”

-“ALL. THAT. TALK.”

- Um, well, speaking of looking cheap, where’s Angie?”

“Look, the last day really SUCKED for me and I’m just trying to distract myself from the fact the guy of my dreams chose some bimbo who immediately cheated on him over me.”

“Angie is coming into the living room and all of the sudden starts tickling me. Just like the girls during my bartending days, you haven’t spoken a word to me before, neither when I pulled out a BuzzFeed article from 2017 featuring SimNation’s top 50 worst pick-up lines, or when I asked her for a mint to get the taste of vomit out of my mouth yesterday. Just now when you’re lonely and desperate - I suddenly exist!”

-”Get your claws away from me you freak!”

-”Did YOU OUT OF EVERYONE just call me a freak??? And who put that horrid music on, sounds like 8th graders during band rehearsal after discovering MySpace.”

-”You mean my mixtape I’m aggressively dancing to??”

-”WHAT? NO MAXXX, NEVER!!!! YOUR MUSIC CANNOT BE DESCRIBED IN WORDS!!”

-”Cabs are here!”

“I’m meeting up with this girl I ran into at the club yesterday. I just knew the moment I saw her she was something special... reminds me, should ask for her name again.”

“So everyone is having a good time, we’re dancing, it’s great. And suddenly, out of nowhere...she kisses me.”

-“Oh baby, I couldn’t be more turned on by you than right now, in your sweat stained maxis tracksuit.”

-”Let’s take this somewhere more private, shall we? ;)”

“Maxxx and I need to figure out where we’re at. If we really are ready for a relationship together.”

-“April, I love you, but honestly I think only I deserve you, so I’m ready for this relationship thing if that means I won’t be seeing you near these out of your league morons ever again. It’s unbearably insulting to my looks and charm seeing what the guys you decided are my actual competition look like.”

-“Your face looks just like the Sector 6 aliens I would sometimes see on vacation at Sector 8, so grotesquely deformed I always used to wonder how their organs were even remotely working... say, what do you do for a living?”

“Maybe it was the amount of bubbles clouding her judgment or something, but as much as I can’t stand the girl, this was honestly sad to watch.”

-”Performing human experimentation. But my wife and I are certainly not opposed to extending our selection of interesting subjects.”

-”I mean, yeah, it doesn’t have to be a two-men show but that’s one weird metaphor.”

-“It’s official, these clownshows are dating now. But they’re gonna break up so fucking fast, trust me.”

-“I hate them so much.”

“Angie is my only friend in this house, so obviously I had to let her know about everything I just saw. So pathetic.”

-“Maxxx, can I maybe talk to you for a sec?”

-”Angie, look, you’re a nice girl and will surely find someone, but Maxxx doesn’t want anything from you.”

-”NOT THE THIRD PERSON THING AGAIN, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??”

“It was going great, the girl and I relocated to the hot tub and then... suddenly I see everything flashing white! I just thought “Wow, must be the best woohoo I ever had.” ‘til I realize...”

“I almost died, would you think this chick even moved a muscle? She just sat there grinning, like she was enjoying it. So no idea if we’re dealing with an actual succubus or if she’s just got some crazy fetish.”

“And that’s not even the worst thing that happened.”

-“CRAP!”

-”Crap indeed.”

#belladonna shore #🍊

48 notes · View notes

astrxlfinale · 16 days

Note

Sparkle has infiltrated the astral express. Her grand, evil scheme? Leaving little toy green army men in just about every spot she can think of. In some places, like the sink, the desk, and other spots in plain view, they are placed in small batches. But then she goes a step further. Hiding one in the faucet of the sink. Hiding one in his pillowcase. Hiding one under his bed. Hiding one inside his computer setup. One in the vent. One in the fridge. One in the freezer. One in a box of cereal. One on a holo projector. One replacing the battery of his remote control. Just when he thinks he found the last one, there is always another. True psychological warfare.

Give it a good few hours and the natural clock of the Trailblazer would come to rise. A simple yawn, a good stretch of the limbs, one of this cosmo's great moving powers has reawakened and was certainly prepared to make the most of the day. Wiping the sleep from his eyes and popping a few joints to rid of the stiffness, he'd fight the impulse to lay back down, leading the charge with a rebellious toss the blankets as he drew onto his feet!

"......"

Yet, there's a moment of pause required, his eyes squinting due to instincts holding a feeling that his dreary mind hadn't quite caught up on.

"The hell is that about? Odd feeling like someone has been prancing 'round here, and March has been busy off in Belobog for a couple-a days, so that can't be it." He muses, scratching idly at his side as he steps off to freshen up.

Within the confines of a private sanctity, this is where he'd find the first bizarre viewing. Some odd looking toy, one decked out in rugged attire that's painted a green too bright to do good for the camo style. It makes Caelus's eyes narrow upon that clearly alien figure as he plucks it up. Giving it a twist and turn, for the time he hadn't thought much of it.

Oh no no no, that was reserved for what shot out of the faucet besides the glories of hydro. The same damnable shade of green, nearly making him jolt back to the walls as he hops in surprise. "The hell!?"

Again. Another one of those damn army men! It causes him to click his teeth as just for a moment he'd forgo brushing his teeth, snapping the faucet shut in order to embark on an abrupt investigation. To his misfortune, all this led towards was an event that made his heart sink. An alien type of paranoid nudging at the skull as he begins to see them everywhere. In his bed! By the computer!

Stumbling off to other ends of the express had led to the same issue! Nothing was sacred in the midst of this battalion's cruel plans. Caelus's hands went from disturbed studies, to crushing those he came across, a stubborn force of steam puffing from his lips as more of this unfurling horror story was brought to life. It reached a point where some bald man's mad ravings of the old hells began barking in his ear. Except there was no one around.

He couldn't even watch TV without as much as another one of these bastards propping out the woodwork. It'd all come to a head when in all mad causality did one of these fuckers shot out from the remote.

Caelus screamed.

"IS THIS ONE OF HERTA'S DUMBASS CURIOS IN THIS FRICKIN' PLACE!? WHERE ARE ALL THESE LITTLE FUCKS COMING FROM!?"

No. He's not having a good start to this day. Thank you for asking.

@remunporium

#remunporium #| Shuttle Mail #Hey #Fite him 1 v1 behind Dennys

5 notes · View notes

masterporky · 1 month

Note

Blindsided

“Calm down, Gigi…” Pokey rolled his eyes.

Pokey huffed, sitting back in his seat. “Just ‘cause all your other guys got beat doesn’t mean you don’t got a chance. Stop throwin’ a fit.”

<That is NOT the problem! You know nothing, fool!> Giygas slouched forward toward Pokey, pointing a claw at him.

“Then what is-” Pokey was cut off by Giygas.

<IT DOES NOT CONCERN YOU!> Giygas tugged him forward by his collar out of his chair, his eyes narrowing.

“Yes it does, I’m your right hand man. That’s what I’m supposed to be, anyways. So it does concern me, because I’m supposed to fix i-” Pokey was cut off.

Pokey was dead silent for a moment.

“You know, you aren’t a monster ‘cause you’re a frickin’ evil alien, you’re a monster because you were raised as a human.” He said flatly, staring up at Giygas, completely unamused; but, in reality, he was terrified.

Giygas paused for a moment before suddenly throwing Pokey onto the floor and stinging him in the back repeatedly, causing him to scream, the two Starmen sentries stood at the door staring forward at the scene in shock. Or, as shocked as a Starman could look.

Along with the horrible, pulsing pain of the sting, Pokey felt a growing pressure in his head. He writhed on the floor, puling helplessly as Giygas backed away from him, slightly regretting what he had done.

The last thing he thought about before slipping unconscious was how much worse crying with another six pairs of eyes was; it felt like his whole face was burning.

Eventually, he’d wake back up in an unruly amount of pain, noticing that he had been thrown into a cell on Giygas’ ship, a time-out of sorts. One to sit and think about what he had done for an indefinite amount of time.

He’d try not to think about the permanent scar this left, one that not even molting would remove.

He’d try not to think about how similar this all was to his life before he joined Giygas.

He’d pretend this was better.

Anything was better than going home where his family was waiting to punish him, right?

Right?

#ILL NEVER DIE (roleplay)#anon

0 notes

cakemoney · 4 years

Text

i cannot believe in the year of our lord twenty twenty there is fuckin lilo and stitch discourse on this hellsite. somebody photoshop that meme of the samurai holding the cat into me holding lilo stitch nani AND david in my arms i swear to god nothing made me want to throw hands so fast

#laughs awkwardly #that's a lie a lot of things make me want to throw hands very quickly #but i just!!!!!! the way the op worded it and described lilo as a bad person due to the destruction around her just made me see red #lilo!! is not a bad kid!!!! she's a child!!!!! there is literally an entire montage of her trying to teach stitch how to be good!!!!!!!#the entire point of the movie is that you don't give up on the people you love even if they're doing things you don't understand!!!!!!!#lilo is AT BEST a 'problem child' (a phrase that is a whole other rant) because she does cause 'problems' for the adults around her #due to not understanding the consequences of her actions and the social dynamics of her peers (because AGAIN she is A CHILD)#but nani never once gives up even if she was so frustrated due to being young herself and not fully understanding how to handle children #lilo is her sister and they love each other and nani never once considers passing lilo off as someone else's 'problem'!!!#JUST LIKE HOW BECAUSE STITCH IS A PART OF THEIR FAMILY LILO NEVER GIVES UP ON STITCH'S POTENTIAL TO BE GOOD!!!!!!!#the POINT of the movie is a direct refutation of how society frequently labels 'problem kids' as inherently bad people #NO the movie says THESE KIDS ARE NOT 'BAD' THEY JUST NEED EXTRA LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING BECAUSE THEY ARE STRUGGLING #so to see that frickin post so blithely refer to lilo as a destructive bad person who doesn't care about the people who love them #(just like how so many kids are taught by the adults around them that they are bad because when bad things happen it's their fault)#it just!!!!!! made me so furious i want to cry!!!!! how dare you??????????#anyway. just wanted to properly yell about it i have been thinking about it all fuckin day #EDIT: came out of the shower to continue because you wanna talk narrative structure? SURE LET'S TALK NARRATIVE STRUCTURE #let's talk about how lilo (who was ALIENated from her peers due to being seen as different)'s angel from heaven is stitch #who was so readily condemned by that space court as an irredeemable monster because of...... what? because he said something vulgar?#who seemed to be innately destructive but when shown consistent love and compassion by lilo becomes.....? A GOOD PERSON #(person being a loose term in this case)#just like how CHILDREN WHO ARE 'ROWDY' OR 'PROBLEMATIC' DO NOT REQUIRE DISCIPLINE BUT LOVE AND COMPASSION AND I--#[breaks off into untranslatable screaming because i don't care about literary analysis i care about kids in real life]#[who saw themselves in lilo and stitch who get to realize that they are good people who deserve love and compassion and family]#i would insert the 'in this essay i will' meme but it appears i already wrote the essay #in conclusion FIGHT ME

0 notes

spagbol99 · 2 years

Note

19, 28, 38

Hi!

19. Share a snippet from a WIP without giving any context for it.

I spent a long time looking for something I could share but here it is.

———

He should be used to this, shouldn’t he?

The empty, hollow feeling in his chest.

The sympathetic look on Happy’s face was the same he’d seen on numerous people’s faces after Ben had died. Not that he’d needed to be given the bad news then. He’d been right there at the time. Blood that had seemed to soak into his skin; stuck under his nails like glue.

A warm hand touched his arm. “Peter?”

Peter looked up into Happy’s red-rimmed eyes.

“Did you hear what I said?”

Peter cleared his thick throat. “May is dead.”

Happy flinched just a little, giving an almost imperceptible nod.

There was an expecting silence: Peter turned his eyes back to the ground. Happy would expect him to have questions: he searched around in the muddy soil of his mind to find an appropriate one.

“What, um, what happened to her?”

He wasn’t there to save her. He was gone; floated away into dust on an alien planet. Though he hadn’t been able to save Ben, why did he think he would’ve stood a chance to save May?

“It, uh, it was breast cancer. She fought it but about 13 months ago, she…it was too much.”

Peter hated that term ‘fighting’ a cancer. Like you had any chance if it got deep into you.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you now, like this, but…” Happy’s face was scrunched up and it took Peter a moment to process what it must be like for him today. Had it only been a day since the battle with Thanos? Since Mr Stark…?

“Sorry Happy, this is the last thing that you need to be thinking of. I know you and Mr Stark were close.”

Happy’s face crumpled even more. “You lost him too, kid.”

Peter took a sharp breath. If you lost two people in one day – did it double the pain? The grief? He should be crying, right? After Ben, he cried a lot. Didn’t talk much but he cried a lot. Maybe it would be the opposite now?

“Yeah…yeah…well…he was pretty annoyed at me the last time I was with him…”

Peter ignored the battlefield hug. Mr Stark hadn’t even really spoken to him. The hug: it must have been the adrenaline.

Happy’s face morphed into a different kind of frown. “He wasn’t…he…he cared a hell of a lot about you, Peter.”

Peter stood up, the pain of his broken ribs causing his arms to tighten around his body: fingers gripping into the scrubs the Wakandan doctors had provided. The cast on his arm was so lightweight that he barely noticed it: just the beat of pain beneath whatever material it was.

“Yeah. Um, did you say we had to go now?”

Happy’s eyes looked at him mistrustfully for a second before looking at his watch.

“Yeah, Strange or one of the Wizards will portal us back to New York. It’s going to be chaos there.”

Half the world returning; yeah, it would be. With May gone, he didn’t even have a home there anymore. Peter could only guess that Child Services would have their hands full. Maybe he could stay off their radar entirely. He could find Ned and MJ – he didn’t know if they had snapped or if they had somewhere to stay now.

“The Compound is annihilated but Tony bought the Tower back, thank God. Not that they stayed there much but at least The Avengers will have somewhere to be. Tony changed a lot of the guest floors into more R&D labs, so you might not get your old room back –“

“My room?” Peter looked at Happy quizzically. “I’m…staying too?” Peter’s voice wavered.

Happy looked at him like he was mad. “Yes you’re –“ Happy faltered. “You think we’re just gonna put you out in the street?”

Peter didn’t answer other than a small shrug.

Happy looked upset by that. “You’re…” Happy looked like he didn’t know what to say. “Hell, you’re an Avenger aren’t you?”

Peter remembered being knighted in the donut ship, but that had been out of necessity rather than having been deserved. “I guess.”

“I think you’ve earned a frickin’ bed.” Happy’s eyes ran over his injuries. “Are you in pain? I can get you some meds before we go….?”

“Nah,” Peter lied, “no pain.”

Happy again eyed him suspiciously. Five years had apparently not weakened his memory. Before he could get interrogated, Happy’s phone flashed.

“Time to go home, kid.”

———

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

Nothing that hasn’t already been said by smarter people than me. But I think for me it is trying not to let my own self doubt stop me. Keep writing even if you think it is pants, you can always go back and edit and the more you write, the better you get. And even if what I write is pants to other people, I enjoy the process of it so honestly, what else matters?

38. "This never happened" fix-it fics or "this happened but" fix-it fics?

Hmmm… I have to pick?! Well I would say that I lean more towards ‘this happened but’ fix its. Like changing the ending but not the journey? I dunno.

#irondad #peter parker #tony stark #spider-man #ao3 fanfic #mcu #asks

11 notes · View notes

whiskeyworen · 3 years

Text

Speluncaphobia...?

So my friends turned me on to this 4-player game called Deep Rock Galactic and... I’m enjoying it. It’s MUCH better with friends, of course, but it’s a hilarious game. You’re a dwarf miner in space, mining a shattered rock of a world for various ores, as well as ingredients for new kinds of booze. And you work for, as usual, a shit-tier company that basically throws you to the horrible digging monstrosities and is like “Well, if you survive the next five minutes, I’ll be pleased. You might even earn a round at the bar later. You’re paying of course.” Four classes: Gunner, Scout, Engineer, and Digger. Each one specializes in a different way. Gunner is basically the Heavy. Scout has an assault rifle, double barrel shotty, a grappling hook, and a flare gun. Engie has a combat shotty, a grenade launcher, a turret to deploy, and a platform gun. Digger has... I forget. But the special is twin drill arms that can mow through the walls like wet cardboard. And a flamethrower. So we all took a role, since the others had played before, and I got Engie. Not bad. I don’t mind it. The zones of the world, after they’re unlocked, rotate something like every hour or half hour, so you’ve always got a good variety of zones, and not just ‘We’re getting Nuketown again.’ repetitiveness. The actual maps seem to be fractal and procedurally generated for the most part? I can’t really confirm it, but it SEEMS like the level self-generates based on an algorithm, and then just expands upon it if you keep going by adding chambers and random crap. No matter what, when you go into the deeps of the planet, you’re gonna be running into creepy crawly, TOOTHY things. You’re expected to shoot them. Some of them are fast. Others spit acid. Others exhale toxin or ice, or fire. Some grab you from the air and carry you off Smoker L4D style. And once in a while there’s a big, BIG bastard that shows up to just ruin the day. He’s killable, but it takes so much time and he hits so hard... LoL. I’ve seen beautiful things so far. Caves of reflective ice, with frozen lakes you skid on. Red crystal caves with bismuth outgrowths everywhere. A grotto in the middle of the planet, filled with plants and sticky stuff, and a delightful non-hostile monster called a Silicate Harvester which looks like the Reefback Leviathan a bit, only much smaller, that I rode on for ten minutes while it scoured the area for tasty dirt. I’ve seen horrors. Parts of mines filled with purple tendrils and pulsating orange ‘organs’. Giant rolly-poly beetles that are fast as hell and annoying to damage. The Aforementioned Big Ass Bastard bug. And the absolute SWARMS of toothy bitey, Ripper-crossed-with-Termagaunt bugs called the Swarm. And worst of all... the Egg-hunting mission. You go down into a mine, and have to find those horrible, tendril-and-organ corrupted places. Look for a spot with a pulsing glow...and mine into it. Inside is a green, veiny ovoid. It’s a frickin’ egg the size of a watermelon. And you have to take between 5 and 10 back. When you pick up an egg... The PLANET seems to rebel. Normally when the Swarm wakes up or is agitated, you can hear them roar in the distance. The bigger the bug, the bigger the roar. All of it sounding like classic Ghidorah. But when you grab an egg... the world around you shudders violently, the air itself warps with the volume and violence of the roar. It’s like whatever you pulled the egg from is a VERY large creature spread through the crust of the planet, and it is NOT happy at all. And when it’s not happy... the SWARM is not happy. They come in droves. There’s an old saying from the Aliens franchise, which also transfers over to WH40k, and now to Deep Rock Galactic; “If you can hear the shifting, hissing, clicking of mandibles and claws and chitin in the distance, and you still haven’t seen what’s causing it... there’s more bugs coming than you have ammo to deal with them.” Never. Ever. Grab more than one egg at once. Because the Swarms stack. I think that’s enough gushing for now. Go find that game and play it with friends. Play it with the dumbasses who make snarky comments. Be silly. Do dumb shit. That’s the beauty of this game; it’s not super serious unless you make it. I literally used my Engie’s platform gun to make temporary walls to keep the Swarm’s biggest beasts at bay while my Digger friend dug our way as fast as he could to the escape pod. Then I threw a L.U.R.E. mine out, which projected a floss-dancing Dwarf for the bugs to focus on, while we shut the pod door and got away. Fantastic game.

#Deep Rock Galactic #Personal story #awesome game #Be stupid #Have fun #Play this game #Dwarf mining #They aren't Squats

68 notes · View notes

ichayalovesyou · 3 years

Text

Why Does God Need A Starship? (Live Reaction):

I always thought Sybok was cool and interesting and NOW I’m sure! You know it’s times like these that I’m grateful I kinda came back into the Star Trek fandom on my own, because I don’t have to deal with Opinions of older/louder Trekkies. This one kinda has a lukewarm reputation but I’m getting the vibe that I’ll genuinely enjoy it.

Yet again Bones is serving up some LOOKS damn! Look at these elder gays! Spock has rocket boots, amazing. “Because it’s there” and then falling off the goddamn mountain is such a James Tiberius Kirk thing to do 😂 “HI BONES!” These guys omfg. OH MY GOD SO WE DO SEE CAITIANS OUTSIDE THE CARTOONS?? Hell yeah! Also pole dancing to no music, is... weird. Lmao. Also okay I’m sorry Sybok is cool! Sybok is cool and interesting and I really like him! (Not morally obviously dude is shady as all fuck, but a cool dude nontheless!) Always fascinated by Cult Leader type villains, especially when they point out valid criticisms about the society from which they came (important distinction is that the CAUSE is not vilified, but the person and their means, something M****l has largely forgotten)

Awww I may ship Hikura, but Uhura & Scotty are also cute as hell!! Awwwwwww!!!! Old married couples can be so freaking cute. Chekov & Sulu are LOST ohhhh my god this is hilarious, these two idiots. Also can we talk about how Koenig’s eyebrows are slowly gaining sentience and Takei aged like fine wine? Lol. THE HOLY TRINITY OF ELDER GAYS ARE CAMPINGGGG! I’m- oh my god they’re so cute. “Marshmelon” this is cute as hell oh my god. They’re indulging and messing with Spock at the same time I’m dead! They’re singing ohh my god this gonna give me cavities with how sweet it is!!!

This Klingon dude is frickin ROCKING the eyeliner! Bruhhhh was the frickin spotlight necessary! Leave the gays alone SHHHH they’re SLEEPING!! Lmao. Yo I’ll be real this movie starts incredibly slowly but I seriously do not mind, it’s relaxing to not have to worry about missing important details if you look away for a second, it’s nice. WAIT? Does Jim’s shirt say GOT MILK?!!? Oh no, it says go climb a rock, oh thank god [“fatty milkers” flashbacks]

Seriously McCoy is just radiating so much old southern lady/gay energy in this movie and I love it so freaking much “if you ask me (and you haven’t) this is a horrible idea” he sounds like my North Carolina living Meemaw. Wow you can see Spock low-key taking psychic damage from seeing Sybok 😲 V’tosh Ka’tur of the highest order huh? Still disturbing that his government literally cast him out, that’s a red flag 😬. What happened with Sybok is probably a lot of why Spock was pressured to be as Vulcan as he was, I’m sure Sybok was a massive scandal/shame for Sarek, and knowing him, he’d end up making that his kids’ problem not his 🙄

Oh neat!! Chekov is in the in the captain’s chair. Oh this is the song they replaced Nichols’s voice for 😤 but also GIRL THAT WAS BADASS AND THAT SONG WAS A BOP! Quick question, wow these “alien” horses are somehow even worse than the unicorn dog (also it’s a desert planet, wouldn’t it be better to have, like, alien camels or something?) This dude’s Klingon is freakin impeccable btw! He’s really got the vibe down! Jim did you forget how fuckin bananas strong Vulcans are??? Sybok went like 😡☹️ when Spock pointed that laser rifle at him 😂😂😂 again even tho I know Scotty and Uhura are married but it’s scenes like getting held hostage right there where they radiate such POWER COUPLE energy GAWD! 🤩

Stay out of this Bones we’re having a lover’s quarrel! Jim is taking fucking psychic damage from this entire conversation lol. Okayyyy whatever Sybok is doing is definitely some kind of mind control type thing, that shit is creepy af no thank youuuuuu (spores anyone?). Oh my god Spock & Jim are so married lmao, that “I’m sorry” Vulcan kiss in the brig man Aw. (Oh man Magic’s of mega-tsu got devani mixed by that comment lame!) SCOTTYYYYYY!! YAS!

Yay rocket boot glomp! Lmfao! Sybok needs to brush up on his earth history Columbus did NOT figure out the world is round 🙄 Ah Scotty being like “listen, you’re not okay rn so I’m not really down for whatever you think you wanna do right now it can wait until you’re right in the head again” and they could’ve not done that and it would’ve been creepy (especially by today’s standards) but they didn’t! And that was awesome!

Bones being skeptical and has every right to be! He’s faced down would be gods and would-be messiahs before! Also I’ve seen people judge Bones for being the first to cave but Sybok totally did that shit to him without consent! He didn’t go back on his beliefs, Sybok forced him to! BONES PROTECTION SQUAD IS HERE AND ITS ME! Oh Bones, man, poor babeyyyy (fuck Sybok!) 😭😭😭 OH MY GOD BONESSSSSS Sybok leave him alone! Goddamnit! Leave him alone!

I think Jim can see Spock’s Sybok induced vision cuz they’re ✨Bonded✨ (it didn’t seem like they could see Bones’s, other than what Bones was doing). JIM KNOWS SO MUCH BETTER! ITS HOW HE BEAT THE SPORES ITS HIS CORE! I UNDERSTAND AND LOVE HIM FOR IT!!! Spock 😍😍😍 he’s like, you’re bullshit happiness pill doesn’t work on me cuz I am whole for the first time in my life, and I love my husband, and I already learned my lesson decades ago 💚🖖🏻💚 (who knew how important the character development from This Side of Paradise AND Return To Tommorow would be??? Hell yeah!)

I love Scotty so much 🥰 hardcore badass Hufflepuff from beginning to end! Also I hope Sybok appears in SNW that could be really really interesting if they do it right! ITS GOD (derogatory) REVERE HIM! Oh here comes that legendary question!! “What dies God need with a starship?” Red flag don’t call Jim a creature! Oh shit god has laxer eyes oh no lmao! Bones snaps out of whatever Sybok did to him when “God” hurts his friends and we LOVE HIM FOR ITTTT! Awww Spock & Sybok and be saaaaad, oh shit! Into the lightning to fight a mirror of yourself like Lazarus in that one episode!

OH SHIT THE KLINGONS ARE HERE! Oh damn Spock just swore a cuss the right way, at a Klingon General no less! General dude just went “caotain tell Kirk you are sorry!” LMAO! NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS 😂😂😂😍 KISS DAMNIT!! God this whole after scene is so good, maybe the god is the friends we made along the way. “I lost a brother once” you also lost SAM dummy, I know you were just telling Spock you love him but still. SHUT UP SPOCK IS PLAYING ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT ON HIS LYRE??

Okay, seriously, I unironically love this movie, it might be my favorite out of the ones I’ve seen so far actually. TMP felt like the movies getting their sea legs, but it was slow and messy, it wasn’t as thought provoking as it wanted to be (aside from Spock’s wonderful arc in that film). WoK & TSFS are amazing for drama and angst and Spirk content, but they weren’t really asking the big questions Star Trek is wonderful for. Then The Voyage Home is just plain silly and fun and wholesome. But this, this movie had depth! The whole premise is “what is god and is there is one?” I LOVE that as someone who has a very complicated relationship with spirituality. I also already loved the TOS episodes This Side of Paradise, Return To Tomorrow, The Omega Glory and The Way To Eden, and this movie had the best of those concepts! Sybok was such a fascinating antagonist/anti-hero and I hope we get to see him explored more on screen one day, even if it’s just through Discovery/SNW flashbacks. It may have started off slow and it’s not without its flaws but this felt like the Star Trekkiest TOS Star Trek movie so far!

#star trek #star trek v: the final frontier #the final frontier #why does god need a starship #star trek tos #tos liveblog #liveblogging #Sybok

27 notes · View notes

queertwilight · 3 years

Note

W E L L.

I finally finished The Host. The story itself is actually pretty well done and interesting, but it's very much still problematic af.

[***SPOILERS - obviously***]

So, not only is there an age gap between the main character/their romantic interest, but between several other characters too. A relationship randomly starts between two of the humans (a nineteen year old guy and an unspecified older woman), and on their age gap the woman says "He's too young for me, but what does that matter here?" It also seems like smeyer only did this just to cause conflict because he gets killed off almost immediately and the woman's heartbroken by it.

But! Still a weird gap but they're consenting adults, yada yada. THAT wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that the new body the alien gets put into wasn't 16 frickin years old, yet again. But but but!!! She lies about it. "Ian was every bit as honorable as Jared, and I was not going to go through the frustration Melanie had. So I lied, giving myself an extra year. "I'll be eighteen." ... This body looked much younger than her true age, hovering on the edge of seventeen"

"he kissed me in the most unplatonic way possible under the crowded circumstances, and I was thrilled to remember that I'd been smart enough to lie about my age."

I mean just 🤢

Also this very r/menwritingwomen excerpt about a 27 y/o woman - "The girl - or was she a woman? She was tiny, but there was a subtle curviness to her shape that suggested more maturity than her size"

“Frustration” Melanie had?? Um ma’am she’s a TEENAGER of course she’s h0rny that doesn’t make it ok for her to lie or shack up with an older man! Also the fact that her body looks YOUNGER than 16? Like I’m 22 and the amount of times a man has told me I look 15 and liked me because of it is truly disgusting. That older lady/younger man gives me 50 shades vibes and I don’t know what to do about it. I would’ve applauded the fact that men can be victims too if that’s at all what she was trying to convey...which she wasn’t.

I’m wondering how she writes relationships (platonic/romantic) in The Chemist since it’s supposed to be adult. Also! Thanks so much for this anon honestly I love reading, bashing smeyer, and learning about problematic books so this is just what I needed. Thank you for your sacrifice in reading her garbage 🗑

#host anon #answered #anti smeyer #anti stephenie meyer #the host #stephenie meyer #age difference tw

23 notes · View notes

appledotcodotuk · 3 years

Text

why the hive fckin suck at its job: a rant

spoilers for tgwdlm ahead!

first of all, it's important to consider what exactly the hive's job is. my answer is... who the fuck knows. literally. what is the hive's aim. what do you want Paul? more like, what do you want hive? let's find out!

it kinda evolves, as the play progresses. the intial aim of the hive, and one that does actually remain consistent is the constant burning need to grow and devour and gain more and more (insert capitalism metaphor here).

however, this is distorted by the people it possess who influence that aim, as we'll see later.

also the fact it crashes into a theatre displaying Mamma Mia gives the hive the motive it need to fit the world around it to the structure of the musical. having no originality of its own, the hive instead just picks up what is given to it. kinda like an evil baby.

it wants uniformity, that is indeed its ultimate goal and desire, no duh. it thinks it can achieve that through musical theatre, shame that the hive is dead wrong. cause the hive fucking sucks at its own job / aim / ultimate purpose / one concrete goal that motivates all its actions.

can't maintain control over its subjects

okay, so, the hive wants uniformity. it wants everyone to be dancing to the beat of its own tune. right? yeah. shame it literally can't keep its own possessed subjects in line at all. at the risk of sounding like the 10th doctor waxing lyrical abt humanity for the 50th time, humans are really difficult to control cause we're not really motivated by an altruistic allegiance to one primary good. we've got icky emotions that often move us to do stupid unpredictable stuff way more. it makes me wonder if the reason the hive wanted to use musical theatre to try and persuade ppl was cause it seems to think that is how theyll get emotive humans; through emotive songs. anyways. let's look at some examples shall weeeee?

Mr Davidson:

so, Mr Davidson. funnily enough, he's the guy whose in part acting as the hive trying to figure out what it wants through his interactions w/ Paul. every person it possess gives it just a bit more humanity and curiosity abt the world it is currently taking over. at least I think so. hence why as the musical develops u get character's like possessed!Alice wondering 'why does it hurt to love?' - the change in music and mood to something much more introspective really suggests to me that the hive is beginning to question the thoughts and emotions of its human hosts.

Mr Davidson is a family man through and through, he loves his wife Carol. she's his muse, his source of light. his feelings for her are not concrete or easy to explain and solve - hence why his sudden ahem demand of her is so hilarious and also jarring. it completely clashes with the 'I want song' which is simple, and often pushes forward a wider cause. not so with Mr Davidson, he just really loves his wife man. enough to break a frickin alien possession.

tbh I think its hilarious that (at least to me) the hive has to force him to forget and continue with the song, like, he straight up is just talking to his wife in that phone call, talking, not singing. so, no possession until he reverts back into song. ergo, the hive cannot maintain the uniformity it wants. even from the get go when theoretically its control should be stronger cause it has less ppl to co-ordinate. bad. at. its. job.

Paul:

this one hurts folks. yes, I know it's generally agreed, though somewhat debated that the state of Paul by the end of the tgwdlm is not purely possessed. I agree. once again, the hive is unable to truly enforce uniformity.

at this point, the motives of Paul and the hive are kinda just mixed, neither fully human nor fully alien. hence the constant shifts between pleeing for her to get away, to hide, to stay safe: 'what if the only choice is you have to sing to survive' and just full on old style hive nastiness 'let me puke in your mouth and just open your food bin girl' (so romantic 🥰 /j).

the hive has gone away from its original aim, and become something... different. no longer stuck to just one type of genre or style of song, it's really clever to show the developing complexity of the hive by showing how it is now juggling lots of different motifs with references to all the old songs from before recontextualised in a new way - its learning. evil baby... no longer uniform.

general miscommunication:

there are several instances of the hive not fully having uniform control over its subjects. for instance, right after not your seed with the three teens having to like... calibrate. they aren't just completely connected then?? also, this is a very small thing, but uhhhh at the end of inevitable when Paul is about to say the apotheosis is upon... the chorus interrupts him with USSSSSSS. interruptions??? not very in sync of u hive.

I think this inability to exert uniformity is also shown in the contrast between genre of musical theatre. my alien abomination cannot decide whether it wants to be the more modern edgy rock musical (join us (and die), not your seed ) or super happy go lucky old style musical theatre (lah dee dah dah day, and inevitable). it tries to do both, even while trying to encourage union, and sticking to one thing. hypocrite!!!!!

2. aims are guided by the people it possess

so, I mentioned this a bit already, but the hive isn't only mutating the humans, the humans are mutating the hive right back. this is more an interesting observation than any actual analysis but let's goooo.

greenpeace girl:

I think it's very likely that greenpeace girl is one of the first to be possessed. This is probably easily debunkable but whatever this analysis is flying by the seat or its pants anywayyyyy. why? cause where else would it pick up that whole 'this planet needs fixing' thing? it's interesting too, cause it morphs from expressing the desire to join hands and sing together, unity and peace with no actual action behind it. this then goes right to the other end, with the hive going 'fine I'll do it myself' and trying to save things by enforcing a dictatorship on the world. it develops and changes, and strays from its original means of accomplishing its aims! speaking oooooof...

3. inconsistent in means of accomplishing aims

okay, ur an evil hive mind. u think musicals are the way to win over these silly humans cause they're all weak and emotive and seem to respond to them. but, wait! schwoopsie! you haven't realised that for emotional depth and growth to mean anything, you need there to be established development and well... growth. otherwise the sentiments are as vague as the ones expressed in What Do You Want, Paul?

this show has genuine emotional moments, just not really during the musical numbers WITH EXCEPTIONS. any strife is smoothed over quickly, and so the development and change that would have to go into such growth is just gone. (see, You Tied Up My Heart) all so it can achieve its own desire to grow and grow and grow, maybe a metaphor for art being killed under late stage capitalism??

what actually matters is the impact the songs have afterwards, in causing a death - because we have a bond and care abt these characters. those short scenes between Paul and Emma are actually way more resonant than any song. except... inevitable, and also not your seed a bit. at this point the hive has learnt a thing or two, and can actually twist human emotion a little. but for it to do that, it has to reject the uniformity it prizes, and be adaptable. point towards being more human than it first thought? methinks so. and yet it's just not enough...

it's also why let it out, to me, feels really ingenuine. Paul has expressed himself in much better ways already. what they're doing is clearly paining him, and hurting the guy. he's terrified bless.

you can't force someone into being emotional vulnerable, man.

it's why all the deaths for the characters who are forced to express themselves are really violent, involving them being ripped open - literally forcing them to expose themselves from the 'inside out' as Alice reflects in Not Your Seed. you can't force genuine emotional connection, it has to be fostered, shown in the much more affecting relationship of Paul and Emma. the only reason the hive actually has power over our characters is because of these genuine emotional connections, which it tries and often fails to take advantage of, resulting in just resorting to brute violence. messy hive, very messy.

at the core, the musical's a kinda attack on that toxic positivity mindst: trying to force people to reach the sort of easy solutions by sharing feelings in a way that feels pretty invasive and deciding you are instantly fixed. the problems these characters face are jarringly not really what you'd expect a character in a musical to face, cheating, a lot of it, mid-life crisis. problems that are bland, or wayyyy too real. this is purposefully done, to reveal just how silly the hive's aim to use musical theatre to solve everyone's problem is. life is more complex than that smh.

4. a human can write a much more expressive, and genuine song than they ever could lol

u know which song I'm talking abt. what more is there to say. so much for making persuasive songs to tempt people over.

5. make me sad cause they took some perfectly nice ppl and funked them up 😭

this was a stupid point lol. basically I'm just bitter that this hive took a bunch of perfectly okay ppl and gave them hive brain. screw u hive. I swear I'm gonna watch Black Friday soon, cause I'm sure it's gonna completely destroy every thought I've had so far, but whateve,,, just take this as a look at tgwdlm like it's a stand-alone piece.

these guys are supposed to all be 'individuals' on one level, but also 'appendages of a much larger organism'. there's a little too much individualism and fracturing to be cohesive enough to do that I feel. the hive to me is not an infallible, unstoppable force, in fact, every human it takes over only brings it closer to understanding us. so that's maybe a slight positive note??? idk ?! I just have lots of thoughts and feelings abt this musical even if this doesn't make sense I'm proud i wrote it down hehe.

8 notes · View notes

bills-blog-now · 3 years

Text

Guys, I just had the most craziest dream involving Ford and Bill. I wish I could remember every detail.

I’ll just start from the middle, since I don’t recall any further than that.

Ford was in a bar on Earth, using some weird alien technology to disguise himself as a woman who looks nothing like him. He was watching a television built into the wall. On the screen was Bill (who was taking control of a brunette human woman) and he was talking about some sort of thing which involved some sort of social movement (I wish I could recall the specifics).

Stanford was seething, knowing full well that the movement was a disguise for Bill’s plan to get to his Earth.

The oblivious bartender was chatting it up with Ford and being all flirty. Ford ordered a gin and tonic, and the bartender noticed that Ford was watching the TV. As the bartender served the drink, he spoke of how the social movement was an incredible thing and how they should toast to it.

Bitter as Ford is, he agreed to the toast and downed the drink. He then moved to leave to the confusion of the bartender (he had payed for the drink beforehand, don’t worry). The bartender called out, and Ford replied with a vicious smirk and a sarcastic remark, about the social movement and the bartender all in one sentence. He swiftly left, not caring for the bartender’s reaction.

It was night outside, though there was a big event caused by the social movement going on so people littered the streets. Ford went behind a sign that would sufficiently cover him and dropped his disguise. He was an old man, but the hatred for Bill burned bright in his heart, and of course, on his face as well.

There were 4 big bags being guarded by 3 men, and Ford walked over to them. He asked if the supplies were still in good condition. The men nodded. Ford nods back, and each of them pick up a bag. The head off to the center of the big movement, looking as inconspicuous as 4 men in cloaks with huge rucksacks can be. They moved with confidence, so nobody questioned them.

They make it to the gathering of well over 5,000 people, history in the making as Bill Cipher (in the same human disguise, of course), leader of the social movement is meeting with the president of America to enact new laws which would do... something. I think it had to do with encouraging women to become scientists? Some sort of beneficial thing with helping women be equal with men. And also become scientists.

So the 4 men just casually stroll up to the podium and Ford lowers the head of his cloak and pushes the president out of the way and just takes starts prattling his own speech. About how the whole social movement is a sham and everybody is being fooled. His speech gets slurred as the alcoholic drink he had earlier takes its effect, and as Stanford has never drank alcohol before, is an incredible lightweight.

Bill knowing exactly what is happening sneaks into the shadows and books it out of there.

The 3 other men had meanwhile opened up their bags and pulled out advanced guns, ones capable of shooting out hundreds of rounds without needing to be reloaded. They aim the guns at the guards and anybody else who tried to get in Stanford’s way.

Ford pulls out his own gun as the president tries to take their mike back from the drunk crazy person. Ford aims it at the presidents head and then at anybody else as a method of making them back up.

Ford talks near endlessly, sounding like a drunken misogynistic conspiracy nut, what with the woman in charge of the movement is really being controlled by an male alien hellbent on taking over not just the world, but the entire 3rd dimension.

The 3 men are starting to worry about Ford and how drunk he sounds. The president decides that Ford’s gun ain’t even real cause just look at that doohickey, it looks like a painted Nerf gun. So he aggressively tries to take back the podium from the drunk and Ford frickin’ shoots him in the guts. With several rounds. That man dies.

Everybody starts to panic, and in his brilliant drunk mind, to prove he’s dead serious Ford shoots into the crowd of innocent people?? And more people die.

The 3 men start panicking as well, because this was NOT part of the plan. So they charge Ford at the podium and drag him off the stage. He’s dragged into a nearby getaway car, and they drive, the tires screech like a bat out of hell.

The 3 men are still panicking, and Ford doesn’t see anything wrong with what he just did. He tries to explain, about how the alcohol made him do it and just keeps trying to convince them but it’s not working out. The repression of the past 30 years just keeps pouring out of him, about how he summoned Bill into the body of a female body and Bill tricked him and the had a romantic relationship that resulted in a child and the 3 men are like yes we know, shut the fuck up. But he keeps trying to convince them and nobody says anything anymore. He doesn’t catch any hint the men are throwing at him and all he feels is deep tired resentment starting to pour into his chest from the 3 men who just aren’t listening.

Everybody is really stressed out and angry at the fact that their faces are now attributed to this crazy man who was once their friend, and now they can’t have peaceful public lives anymore without the law breathing down their backs about the murders. They figured they would become heroes, ones who saved the world along with the great Stanford Pines, but now they all wish they could go back in time.

The car stops, pulled aside into an empty lot by the driver, and all of the 3 men come to push Ford out of the car. The 3 men discuss among themselves what they should do about the issue while Ford tries to interject, but to no luck. 2 of the men ask the third his final opinion, as he’s Stanford’s son. He agrees without much hesitation and they all line up to kill Stanford, as he’s a liability and who knows what the fuck he’ll do next just to get back at Bill Cipher.

Stanford, knowing what’s about to happen, activates an insidious trump card. Before they can shoot his body dead, he activates some sort of advanced technology and his soul projects itself outside of his body and into his son’s. He steals the body of his son and he stumbles a bit, but the damage of it all is already done. Ford’s old body is dead while his much stronger soul takes the place as head soul of his son’s body, leaving his son to become a bystander in his own body.

Ford’s still insane cause he tries to tell the others that they must complete the plan otherwise Bill will take over the world. But before he can get more than a few words out, a bright shining light appears overhead and the 2 other men are killed.

Turns out there’s an alien spaceship over the head of the planet that can disguise itself as not being there and it’s controlled by Bill. Bill was following their movements and murdered the 2 men, and he started beaming up his son.

He was there in his female human body, all hugs and reassurances that all the pain he’s felt is over now.

Of course, this wasn’t his son, it was Ford.

So Ford takes his son’s gun and shoots at Bill’s throat. Turns out whatever he shot was nonlethal however, and seeing that Ford’s “son” attacked Bill, the guards on the ship tried to get to him and hold him back. Ford switches the gun back to lethal and kills the guards.

Once Bill gets over his shock, wonders what the hell’s happening and then I woke up.

I really wanted to see the end of that dream, but my alarm got me up.

Want to know the really funny part about this dream though? It was pretty clear that most of this was from Ford’s point of view, and it wasn’t clear at all if it was actually Bill’s intention to take over the 3rd dimension or even the world.

#dream #i warn you there's death and gun violence

14 notes · View notes