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#cause i have no self control
ex-textura · 4 months
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what am I doing?
Turning practice into Gale but not actually using references for Gale is my toxic trait. I literally have thousands of Gale refs why do I do this
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defectivexfragmented · 10 months
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so it’s by far the worst idea ever but I’ve had an idea for open starter for matt that I’ve been wanting to write for over a month now. just someone tell me it’s a bad idea and to get back to drafts…
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rosicheeks · 6 months
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🤔
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smolbean7 · 6 months
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Did I choose to watch very sad videos about my OTP?
Yes
Am I still upset that I’m now sad and crying?
Yes
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theostrophywife · 8 months
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shut up kiss me.
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pairing: theodore nott x reader
song inspiration: shut up kiss me by angel olsen.
author's note: everyone say thank you to my love @writingsbychlo for fueling my delusions. constantly spamming her with my ideas because i have no self control when it comes to this man. there’s just something about theo fighting that makes me absolutely feral but i’ll hush now before i spoil it 🤭
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Theodore. Fucking. Nott. 
Those three words fueled your rampage as you marched across the quidditch pitch. The audacity of that cocky, arrogant, silver tongued Slytherin knew no bounds. For years, you tolerated the pompous prick and the rivalry between you, but today he had finally gone too far. 
You cleared the field in less than a minute, passing by confused players as you angrily seethed. You spotted a shock of familiar platinum blonde hair and walked right up to Draco Malfoy. 
“Where the hell is he?”
He chuckled, perfectly aware of your longstanding enmity with his closest friend. “What’s he done this time?”
“Where. Is. He?” you repeated through gritted teeth. “Don’t make me ask again, Malfoy.” 
The blonde paled several shades when he saw the fire burning in your gaze. “Locker rooms. I wouldn’t go in there, Y/N. They’re still shower—“ Draco sighed as you brushed past him. “Whatever, it’s your funeral.”
The locker rooms were steamy, the heat and humidity clinging to your school uniform as you stalked through the aisles. The Slytherin players startled when they spotted you amongst their midst. 
“Well, well, well,” Mattheo drawled as he leaned against the wall. A towel hung dangerously low on his hips and he smirked when your eyes flickered over his body. “What do we have here? A sweet little Hufflepuff marching straight into the viper’s den.”
“Where the fuck is he, Riddle?”
Mattheo grinned lazily. “You’re going to have to be more specific than that, sweetheart.” 
“You know exactly who I’m talking about. Your arrogant prick of a friend who sent my fucking date to the hospital wing!” 
Before you went to sleep last night, you had done so with a grin on your face after a wonderful date with Alec Stone at the Three Broomsticks, but then you arrived at breakfast this morning with no Alec in sight and the rumor mill rampant with talks of Theo pummeling some poor Ravenclaw in the courtyard. 
You were going to kill him. 
“Sorry, love. Doesn’t ring a bell.” 
You frowned, purposely bumping against Mattheo as you walked further down the dimly lit aisle. In your trail for vengeance, you ran into a very flustered looking Enzo who yelped as he sought to cover his very naked torso. 
“Y/N,” Enzo said, hastily wrapping a towel around his waist. “What are you doing in the locker rooms?”
Behind him, the sound of the shower running echoed against the marble tiles. “Is he in there?”
Berkshire’s face fell. “You heard about the fight?” 
“It wasn’t a fight,” you said angrily. “He pummeled Alec so badly that he’s currently in the hospital wing with a concussion and several broken bones.”
“Just hear him out, okay?” 
Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head. “Hear him out? Your precious Theodore beat the absolute shit out of my date and you want me to hear him out? For what? What reason could Theo possibly have for doing what he did to Alec? He couldn’t stand to see me have fun for two fucking seconds? This is low even for him and you know it, Enzo.”
“You don’t know the whole story, Y/N.” 
“Well then please point me in the right direction so I can hear from the arsehole himself.” 
“He’s in there,” Enzo said, pointing to the shower stalls. “But I’m warning you, Y/N. He’s in a proper foul mood.” 
You huffed. “That makes two of us.” 
The steam from the showers rose up like a malevolent fog, curling around your feet as you stormed through the stalls. You found him in the farthest corner, water trickling down his back as he faced the tiled wall. His body language was tense, like a serpent preparing to strike. A crimson trail swirled against the marble as blood dripped from Theo’s bruised knuckles. The sight of it incensed you. 
“What the hell is wrong with you?” 
Theo whipped his head towards your direction, his dark curls plastered against his cheek. Those watercolor eyes were stormy, the blues and greens flickering with anger as he met your gaze. 
“You shouldn’t be here,” he said dismissively. 
“Bullshit!” You countered, stepping further into the stall. The steam barely covered Theo’s naked form, but you weren’t about to let that deter you from demanding answers. “You owe me a fucking explanation.”
“For what?” 
“For what?” you repeated incredulously. “You beat Alec within an inch of his life and that’s all you have to say for yourself? Honestly Theodore, have you gone absolutely mental?” 
“He deserved it.” 
“Why? Because he took me out on a date? Because you couldn’t stand to let me have this one thing? You absolutely loathe the idea of me being even remotely happy, don’t you?” 
Theo clenched his fists as his jaw twitched in anger. “No. I loathe the idea of that miserable excuse of a human being breathing the same air as you.” 
“So you beat him to a bloody pulp?” 
His voice was cold and icy, cutting through you like glass. “He’s lucky I didn’t do worse.”
“What do you have against Alec?” You moved closer to Theo, closing the gap as you poked his chest. The shower streamed over the both of you, blurring your vision. The water was hot against your skin, but it paled against the heat of your own anger. “What did he ever do to you, Theo?” 
Theo gripped your wrist. You were vaguely aware of his nakedness, but he made no move to hide it and you were too furious to even care. “Don’t say his name. I can’t bear to hear you say it after what he said about you this morning.” 
You stepped backward, flinching. “What—what are you talking about?” 
When you met his gaze, you startled. You’d never seen Theo this angry before. His eyes, which were usually dead and expressionless, burned with a cold sort of fury. 
“I heard him in the courtyard, bragging to his stupid friends. I thought he was just chatting shit, so I kept back. I only came down for a smoke, but then he said your name.” 
The pit in your stomach grew. “What did he say?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You weren’t sure you wanted to know. Not if he was this angry over it.
“The stupid fucking prick was talking about your date. The dress you wore. The smiles you gave him. The hand holding through Hogsmeade. Then one of his gormless mates asked if he got lucky.” 
You froze at his words as a horrible feeling washed over you. Theo loosened his grip on your wrist, but didn’t let go. 
“Do you know what that sodding idiot said? I will, soon enough. I can tell she’s raring to go.” 
Tears pricked at your eyes. You felt like you were going to be violently sick. 
“And his friends—those miserable fucking wankers started betting on how long it would take. Two dates. Three. A month.” Theo’s hands were shaking, violence spilling over into his veins. “That smug tosser smirked and said he could’ve had you out in the hallway. That’s how eager you were.”
“I barely even touched him!” you said angrily. “I kissed his cheek good night and that was it.” 
“I know,” Theo said, his voice low and rough. “I know you. I knew he was lying, so I fucking lost it. I walked over there and just punched and punched until my knuckles were bloody and bruised and all I could see was red. I wanted to wipe that stupid fucking smirk off his mouth.” 
You could picture Theo putting out his cigarette ever so calmly before walking over to throw the first punch. You’d seen him fight before. He was relentless. Where Mattheo was pure fire and rage, Theo was as cold as ice. There was nothing but lethal calm in those dead eyes as he delivered blow after blow in absolute silence. 
“Eventually, Blaise and Enzo pulled me off of that prick.” He averted his gaze as if remembering the moment. “When his idiot friends finally peeled him off the floor, I spit on the fucker. I told him to consider it a warning. That I’d do a lot worse if I ever heard your name come out of his mouth again. I promised him that a concussion would be the least of his worries if he didn’t stay the fuck away from you.”
The tears fell down your cheeks despite your efforts to keep them in. The anger all but faded from Theo’s eyes as soon as he realized that you were crying. You were so, so stupid. For thinking Alec was a nice guy. For being so giddy after your date only for him to turn around and spit vile lies about you. 
For crying in front of your worst enemy.
The color drained from Theo’s face as you cried into your hands. You felt him shift beside you, debating whether or not to come closer. 
“Don’t,” you said through a broken sob. “Don’t come near me.” 
Theo flinched at your words, looking visibly pained. His voice was soft and soothing when he spoke again. “Tell me how to fix it. Do you want to yell at me? Punch me? Go ahead, love. I can take it.” He sounded desperate. “Just please, please don’t cry.” 
You hugged your arms around your waist and glared at him. “Why do you even care?” 
He paused, fingers flexing at his side as he fought the urge to reach out and comfort you. 
“Because I care about you!” The exasperation in his voice made your chest tighten. “I care that you let that stupid idiot take you on a date to the Three Broomsticks. I care that you fucking smiled at him when he gave you roses even though I know you prefer sunflowers. I care that you kissed him on the cheek when he dropped you off at your dorm.”
You sniffled, utterly perplexed at his words. “I don’t understand. We hate each other!” 
Theo visibly softened, the tension leaving his body. “I could never hate you, Y/N.” He reached for your hand. Your first instinct was to pull away, but you let him trace soothing circles on your skin. “I may tease you. Prank you. Annoy you. But I’ve never hated you.” 
Theo wiped the dried up tears from your cheeks. No fresh tears, which he took as a good sign. “I don’t even think you remember this, but I tried asking you to the Yule Ball in fourth year.” 
The memory surfaced. You were reading by the Black Lake and Theo had asked if you had a date. You said no, to which he promptly asked if he could take you. You left in a huff, thinking that it was just another way to rile you up. 
“I thought you were just trying to get a rise out of me. If I would’ve known…” 
Theo paused. “How could you not know? How could you not see?” 
The rage crashed against you like an errant wave. You didn’t know if you were angry at Theo or yourself, but you exploded either way, unable to keep your emotions under control. 
“Because you never told me, you idiot!”
“I never told you, but I showed you.” He smiled crookedly. “I'm not good with words, obviously. Every time I open my mouth it’s like I say the perfect combination of words to piss you off. So I learned to tell you how I felt through my actions.” 
“Haven’t you ever wondered why your favorite study spot in the library is always free? That’s because I threatened anyone who came near it. Or how you never seem to run out of quills despite the fact that you manage to break one every day from how hard you write? I always replaced them when you weren’t looking.” Your heart clenched at his words. “I even bribed first years to bring you hot chocolate when I knew you were pulling all nighters.” 
You stood there, staring at him. This wasn’t the cocky, arrogant Theo that you knew. He was looking at you so earnestly that it physically hurt how endearing it all was. 
“Why would you let me think that you were an inconsiderate jerk this whole time?” 
Those hypnotizing eyes pierced right through you, filled with a sadness so heavy that you felt it weighing on your chest. 
“Because at least you were thinking of me.”
You swayed gently. The water had long seeped into your bones, making you shiver as all of your clothes stuck to your skin like paper. You were convinced that your body had gone into shock. The range of emotions you were currently experiencing was turbulent to say the least. You stood in stunned silence, just taking it all in. Then the impact of his words hit you all at once. 
Theo watched as your bottom lip trembled. Panic seized him as you began crying again, this time not bothering to hide it from him. “Fuck I’m sorry, Y/N. Please don’t cry.” 
He didn’t know what to do. Should he comfort you? Should he keep his distance? Theo felt like he was doing a rather exceptional job of mucking things up. 
“Why are you saying sorry?” You said between hiccups. “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
Theo caressed your cheek. So gently. Like he half-expected you to recoil. That only set a fresh wave of tears to spill onto your cheeks. 
“You have nothing to apologize for, love.” 
“Of course I do!” you nearly wailed. “I’ve been horrible to you. I’ve thought the worst of you, but all this time you were doing all these sweet, considerate things and I never even noticed. You should’ve told me, Theo.” 
“I—I didn’t think you’d ever see me that way,” Theo said softly. “It was better to have you hate me and still be part of my life than risking not having you in it at all.” 
Because at least you were thinking of me. 
It was the saddest thing that you’ve ever heard. For years, Theo settled for being your enemy because he’d rather have your hatred and loathing than indifference. He sustained himself on the bare minimum because he thought that was all he deserved. 
“I’m sorry, Theo. I’m so so fucking sorry.” 
Theo was absolutely distressed. “Fuck, look Y/N. Let me just finish up here and get my towel and when I’m dry and slightly less naked then we can talk, okay?” 
You sniffled, wiping your tears away. There was no way you could wait. Not after everything Theo had just told you. Not after everything that he’s been telling you all these years. Theo had literally and figuratively laid himself bare before you. The least you could do was to even the playing field. 
So you unlaced the gold and black tie around your neck. Unbuttoned your blouse and threw it somewhere behind you. Stepped out of your skirt and stared at Theo head on. 
“Oh—Merlin’s beard, what in the hell are you doing, Y/N? Are you trying to send me into cardiac arrest?” 
You shook your head, smiling slightly. Theo was determined to look everywhere but at your very exposed body. You were still in your bra and panties, but the black lace really didn’t leave much to the imagination. Especially when the water clung to every inch of your skin. 
“You were vulnerable with me,” you said simply. “So I’m returning the favor.” 
Theo felt like he was definitely headed for an early grave. He tried to think of something—anything—other than the girl he’s been head over heels for since third year standing naked in front of him.
“Theo,” you said softly. His name had never sounded half as good coming out of anyone else’s mouth. He wanted to bottle the sound. “Can I—can I hug you?” 
He could’ve sworn that his heart had stopped beating. The air had all but left his lungs, deflating his entire body as though he’d fallen off his broom and plummeted through the sky at breakneck speed. 
Theo didn’t recognize his own voice as he said, “Of course you can, Y/N.”
The words were barely out of his mouth before you dashed into his arms, nearly toppling him over from the force of it. You were a tiny little thing, but you were stronger than you looked. He smiled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes as you hugged him. For a minute you and Theo just stood there under the trickling water, holding each other as though you were the only two people alive. 
If this was all the affection you were willing to give him, Theo would’ve been content to hold onto you until you grew tired of him. His slender fingers traced down your spine, drawing soothing circles against your skin as you buried your face in the crook of his neck. You felt safe. Like nothing bad could ever happen as long as you were with him.
You couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt like this. There was just this spark between you. Perhaps that was part of the reason why you had been so angry this morning. 
It hadn’t just been because Theo sent Alec to the hospital wing, which you were now thankful for after hearing all the disgusting things he said about you. It was also because you thought that he had ruined your chance of feeling that rush with someone else. The same rush you got when the two of you were arguing. The same rush that was noticeably missing when you kissed Alec last night. 
Things with Theo had always been electric. You attributed it to mutual loathing, but that wasn’t the full story. Sure he made your blood boil sometimes, but he also made you feel alive. You were terrified to admit it to yourself, which is probably why you said yes to Alec in the first place. 
You sighed as Theo’s fingers tangled through your hair. He gently pulled your head back and looked at you in the most heartbreaking way. 
“Y/N,” he said hoarsely. Theo’s gaze dipped to your mouth as his arm snaked around your waist. “I think I might die if I go one more second without kissing you. Will you please put me out of my misery, love?” 
You couldn’t help but smile. “Gladly.”
Theo held his breath as you pulled him down to you, lips brushing shyly at first. Then you leaned in and kissed him. And he truly and honestly thought that he had died. 
Your lips were soft against his, tasting of strawberries and mint toothpaste. He cupped the back of your head and tilted your chin to deepen the kiss. Before, Theo thought he could’ve sustained himself from a simple hug, but right now, he couldn’t even control himself as he gorged himself on your taste. 
He chuckled when you tried and failed to get on your tiptoes to offset the height difference between you. Theo caressed your cheek and smiled against your mouth. 
“Need some help, love?” 
You nodded before pulling him back down again. This time, the tender kisses turned more heated as he locked your legs around his waist and pressed your back against the wall. You gasped as the cold tile made contact with your bare skin and Theo took the opportunity to slide his tongue against yours. 
Merlin’s beard. Theo kissed with his entire body. There wasn’t an inch of you that wasn’t touching him and the skin to skin contact set your body on fire. You’d kissed other boys before, but they paled in comparison. You couldn’t get enough of Theo. You ran your fingers through his hair. Wrapped your legs more tightly around his waist. Trailed kisses along his jaw and neck and throat. 
Then he fucking moaned. 
It was a low, rumbling sound that sent tremors over your body and shook every fiber of your being like a devastating earthquake. You wanted to hear him make that sound over and over again. 
“Y/N,” Theo said, his forehead dropping to yours. “Before I lose all sense of self, I want to—no—I need to tell you—”
“What is it, Theo?”
“If we do this, then you have to understand what it means to me,” Theo whispered. “I may be terrible with words, but it’s important for me that you hear me when I say this. I want you. Not just physically, but in every sense of the word. I wanted you in third year when you first told me off for being a dick to the first years and I want you now even though you came in here to defend a prick that definitely doesn’t deserve it.” 
“What are you saying, Theo?” 
“I want you to be mine, Y/N.” 
You beamed. “Like, your girlfriend?”
“I don’t think girlfriend is a strong enough word to express how I feel for you, but it’s a start.” He moved the hair out of your face and cradled your cheek. “So yes, I suppose I do want you to be my girlfriend. I want to hold hands with you in the hallways. I want to look up at the stands during my games and see you cheering me on. I want to take you up to the Astronomy Tower and kiss you under the stars.” 
“And you say you’re bad with words,” you teased. “I want to do all those things and more with you, Theodore Nott. Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.” 
“Good, cause you’re mine.” Theo said matter-of-factly, those adorable dimples making an appearance on each cheek. “You were mine even before you knew it.” 
He kissed you again, but this time it was soft and sweet and it filled your stomach with butterflies. Theo no longer felt the need to hoard as much of your affection as he could because you had just given him the ultimate reassurance that he would have plenty of you in the future. 
You sighed contently against him, toying with the curls at the nape of his neck. He shifted, pressing kisses against your neck. Your fingers froze when you felt him stir underneath you. 
“Theo,” you said slowly, biting back a smirk. “Is that what I think it is pressing against my leg?” 
He groaned. “We’re half naked, in the shower, heavily making out, and you just agreed to be my girlfriend. Of course I’m hard.” 
You stifled a laugh. “Theodore Nott, is emotional intimacy turning you on?” 
“Everything about you turns me on.” 
“That’s helpful to know,” you said with a little smirk. “Especially when we're dueling and I’m losing.” 
“Merlin’s beard. My girlfriend’s downright evil.” 
You grinned so hard that your cheeks ached. Theo peppered kisses all over your face before setting you down. 
“I suppose we should head to dinner soon. My teammates watched you march in here in a fit of rage. They might think you’ve murdered me.” 
“There’s only one problem,” you said as you finally turned off the shower. “I’m soaking wet.” 
“I bet you are, darling.” 
You rolled your eyes. “From the shower, you wanker.” 
He grinned and kissed the top of your head. “It’s alright. I’ve got some extra clothes in my locker.”
Ten minutes later, the two of you walked out in the quidditch pitch hand in hand. Theo’s sweater completely enveloped you and he smiled a little at the sight. You received a few interesting stares as you made your way through the castle halls, but one look from Theo and they all quickly found something else to gawk at. Having a scary boyfriend was already paying off. 
On the way to dinner, you ran into Enzo. The git had the biggest smile on his face when he saw that you and Theo were holding hands. “So you heard him out after all, huh?” 
“Yeah, we sorted out our differences,” you said with a smile. “Coincidentally, I gained a boyfriend out of the whole ordeal. Happy now, Berkshire?” 
“Absolutely chuffed,” Enzo said with a grin. “See you lovebirds at dinner.” 
Theo rolled his eyes as his friend disappeared into the Great Hall. He turned, squeezing your fingers. “I should warn you. My friends can be a bit…much.” 
“Don’t worry, I think we all got fairly acquainted in the locker rooms. If they tease us, well I’ve got a perfectly scary boyfriend to fend them off.” 
He chuckled. “A scary boyfriend with an even more terrifying girlfriend.” 
You winked, kissing his bruised knuckles. “This school won’t know what hit them.” 
“Neither did Alec,” he said with a satisfied smirk. You gave him a reprimanding glare, but it was half-hearted. You didn’t actually feel sorry for the prick. “Sorry. Too soon?” 
“You know you can’t punch everyone that says anything bad about me, right?”
“Of course not. I’m perfectly capable of kicking them too.”
You rolled your eyes fondly. “Shut up and kiss me, Theo.” 
“Yes ma'am.” 
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taglist: @annaisabookworm @marina468
please let me know if you'd like to be added.
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nosignalformiles · 2 years
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 i have no idea who the anon was who sent all those
but you’re awesome, okay?
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zu-is-here · 11 months
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A young actor ends up on the street following a family dispute. In a bid to avoid publicity, he finds shelter with an older co-star, and this play without a script opens up new roles for them.
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introverting-rn · 3 months
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don’t mean to be disrespectful but. i’m not sure why y’all are so excited about apollo justice coming out? like i think we’ve known for a while lol boy ain’t subtle
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Tim had his spleen removed, right. This means he would not be able to withstand bacterial infection as well (a.k.a. getting sick, which happens a lot when people get injured or sleep deprived cause their immune system weakens), so for his own safety, he would likely take care of himself more than the other bats would care for themselves. He probably wouldn't get in a fight he knows he would badly lose, or win but get very injured during. Tim would be the calm and calculating one. He already is deemed as smart and a great detective, so that makes him even scarier.
He gets a reputation as a vigilant far more dangerous from his siblings, cause he perches like a bird above the fight, but if he gets involved, then the villains know they're goners. If it's Dick, Jason, Steph, Cass, even Damian and Batman himself, people don't get as intimidated, but should Tim come in, they back off so fast. In this essay I will...
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chocoenvy · 2 years
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ok but like
imagine a sagau au where the reader isn't recognized by the acolytes
but they aren't being hunted down by them either
and in this au looking like the creator isn't a sin it just warrants a "damn must be truly blessed by the creator to be blessed with their face"
and the reader just kinda wants to see how long it takes for everyone to realize
also venti is the first to know and the reader literally begs him not to tell anyone
and they both just kinda
vibe as gods in disguise
Say My Name
In where you begin your journey in a fairly dull way, but that doesn't make it any less exciting.
Part two
Characters: Barbara, Noelle, Venti
Notes: Once again, I have made Venti a prominent character in a fic. I have grown far too attatched to him :( AND I WANTED TO MAKE THIS MORE ABOUT NOELLE BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH ROOM BECAUSE VENTI'S FAT ASS TOOK UP ALL OF IT. And I didn't want to shove something in at the end, I thought it was a good stopping point so I didn't stretch the fic on longer than it needed to go. Anyways this was fun to write either way :)
warnings: fluff, cult behaviors, comical
Considering how extravagant and lively Teyvat is, your arrival was fairly dull.
You were freaking out of course, your heart beating out of your chest and breathing erratic. What were you supposed to do when you wake up in your favorite game? What was the right course of action?
Frankly, you thought you were dead or about to die. Teyvat is crawling with high level monsters. Maybe this was all a big fever dream?
You sighed, clutching your head, so many thoughts whirling around and yet none of them stayed long enough for you to get a good grasp of the situation or the best course of action.
But one thought remained consistent as your eyes drifted over to the path laid out before you. Mondstadt.
The moment you lay your eyes on the bridge leading to the Mondstadt gates you can't help yourself, running past Timmie's birds, shouting out a quick sorry to him, and sprinting as fast as you could to the gates. You slowed as you neared them and Lawrence - the gate guard - stopped you in your tracks.
"Greetings strange but respectable traveler!" He saluted, his eyes wide staring at you and you assumed it's because of the odd way you dressed, "May I ask what business you have in Mondstadt?"
"Oh! Just visiting." You grinned, feeling a tad bit dizzy at hearing his voice right in front of you and not just through your headphones. Not to mention the fact that his hair looked so real and nice.
He hummed and nodded, "Alright then, just don't cause any trouble." He waved you off.
That was easy... you mused. Though you didn't dwell on it and marveled at the wonderous city adorned with the high-noon sun and pretty flowers.
You could hear the humming of bards and birds, the sound of Flora selling her flowers, and of course Donna simping over Diluc.
It was all so familiar, from the people to the music and the tiles on the floor, it all felt like the beginning of your journey. Almost like home, you couldn't help but hum along to the merry music.
You passed by Katheryne and she waved at you knowingly but didn't say anything. You decided not to question her about it - Katheryne knew a lot of things anyways so you decided this was pretty in-character for her - and you waved back with a grin.
You wandered meaninglessly through the calming streets, still humming the tune. You came upon the fountain in the plaza and paused. Usually, you'd climb up the wall to get past but now you had to actually walk.
You chuckled, you weren't sure why but this was such a nice feeling and you sprinted to the left until you came upon a set of stairs. You climbed up them and made your way to Venti's large statue.
When you made it, you craned your neck up to take it all in, an awed smile on your face.
"Ah, are you a newcomer?" A nearby nun asked you, snapping you out of your dazed state.
"Oh! Uh- yeah I am!" You grinned sheepishly.
The nun hummed, smiling warmly, "You must be truly blessed to look so similar to our creator. You can go into the cathedral if you want to see our offerings to them." She nodded towards said building, "Hope you enjoy your stay in Mondstadt!" She waved, now even allowing you to get a word out before moving along.
You stared after her for a minute before whispering to yourself, "What the fuck-"
You turned back around and stared cautiously at the cathedral. What did she mean by creator? Stuff like this has never been mentioned in the lore before...
You'd been in the cathedral maybe a hundred times and had never seen anything that could be attributed to some... creator or whatever she meant by that.
So, naturally, you had to go and investigate.
The moment you entered those cathedral doors (with no loading screen separating the two anymore), your eyes immediately caught onto the shrine built on top of the rotating door. Two pairs of stairs leading up to it.
You gaped at the shrine, grand and well-kept, but what caught even more of your attention was the sheer amount of offerings left out at the base below the shrine. There was so much food and random shiny objects, some of which looked more than what you were worth.
Your jaw hang open at the sight, and you noticed you started to get some odd stares. You fixed your face and donned a more neutral expression, looking on at the shrine curiously.
"Ah, first time in Mondstadt's cathedral?" said a soft and familiar voice.
You whipped your head around to face Barbara, her sparkling eyes fixed onto you.
You composed yourself - both at the scene in front of you and the fact you just met Barbara face-to-face - "Yeah, it is."
"You look so much like our beloved creator!" She exclaimed, "It must be such an honor to be blessed with their lovely face!"
"U-uhm..." You stuttered, sending her an awkward smile, "I suppose so."
Her eyes shifted and you felt a jolt of unease in your chest, sinking into your heart, "Sorry, I'm just not used to Mondstadt's customs. We practice things quite differently where I'm from."
"Oh! Sorry then," Barbara frowned, "I didn't mean any disrespect, I just wanted to make sure you weren't disrespecting our creator in any ways. I suppose in the end it didn't do any good."
You hummed non-committedly and gazed back upon the shrine. There was a statue of the supposed creator upon there and unconsciously you took steps towards it. As you gazed up at it, it was as though you were looking into a mirror.
The statue was an exact replica of you, in every way shape and form it was you.
"It truly is remarkable how alike you two are," Barbara smiled up at the statue, pure devotion in her eyes, "It was an honor to look upon you and see an image that so wonderously reflects our creator's." She smiled at you.
You nodded and she left with a wave. A few moments later you left the church.
*~
The problems in this perfect world arose when your stomach started to growl and you realized...
You had no mora.
"Goddamnit I'm having a Zhongli moment," You cursed the gods (specifically Venti and Zhongli) for not giving you mora when you arrived to Teyvat.
Although you didn't have to worry about that for long, oddly enough. When you were eyeing Good Hunters, a kind little lady approached you.
"E-excuse me," Her cute voice cracked and your eyes met with Noelle's, "Are you hungry? I could um-" Her eyes diverted away from yours but always seemed to come back to stare into your eyes, "I could make you something if you so wish."
You gasped, your face lighting up in a smile that reddened Noelle's cheeks, "Really? Oh! I'd love to try some of your Tea Break Pancakes- oh! Ah, nevermind. You don't have to." You waved her offer off, "I don't even have any mora on me."
"That's fine." She grinned, "Consider it... a gift to our creator. A celebration of how much you look like them."
"Ah," You couldn't help the surprised smile that tugged up at the corners of your lips, "That's- I mean I appreciate it but I'm sure there's much better uses you could use with your time-"
"Nonsense! I insist," Her resolve was as sturdy as the sword you'd given her, "A little treat of mine."
"I-" Your stomach interrupted any argument you were going to make, "Fine..." You sighed, "But I owe you okay? If you ever need anything just ask me."
She agreed and made you the meal, which you excitedly watched her make. It was so surreal watching Noelle make the pancakes instead of just pressing a couple buttons.
Even still she made those pancakes in record time, you were impressed.
"Thank you so much Noelle! Really, you're carrying Mondstadt on your shoulders." You giggled.
Her face flushed a bright red and she waved her hands dismissively, "Oh no no no, I don't do that much. I'm... not even a knight yet." She frowned.
"Well," You said in-between bites, "You do as much if not more than the knights do. Don't put yourself down just 'cause you're not official yet."
Your smile, a replica of the ones on the statue but brighter and more personal caused Noelle to feel nearly dizzy.
"You're far too kind... Oh! Dear, where are my manners?" She huffed, "What's your name?"
"Oh! It's (Name)." You held out your hand but she didn't take it immediately.
She tilted her head, her eyes narrowed in confusion, "Isn't that... the creator's name? Did your parents name you that?"
Your mind blanked. Why the hell does this creator person have my face and my name?
You chuckled, "They did."
Noelle hummed and nodded along, "It's a bit unusual but not like it's against the law or anything," She shrugged and took your hand, "It's nice to meet you (name). I'm Noelle, though it seems you already knew that..?"
You nodded, "Yeah, I've heard of you. You're the best maid in Mondstadt. Who knows, maybe the best maid in all of Teyvat." You chuckled as her face bloomed into color once more.
"Truly, you flatter me too much," She fanned her face in an attempt to get rid of the heat, "...have you really heard of me outside of Mondstadt."
Without hesitation, you nodded while biting into the pancake, "Of course!" You technically weren't lying. You'd heard of her outside of Mondstadt... and outside of Teyvat... in your world. So it was technically true.
She covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes lit up in wonder, and a soft giggle escaped her throat, "Aha, I'm so happy..."
Without thinking, you reached over and patted her head. She had stars in her eyes. "I'm glad," You said, "You deserve it."
*~
You and Noelle had talked throughout the entire day. She had often went to go and help people and you tried your best to help her as well. Finding stray cats, helping children find lost items or getting them down from high places, collecting and delivering items for people.
You did your best to nudge Noelle away from accepting every little thing that came her way, but majority of the time she'd end up helping the person. So you settled for helping lessen her load by helping her complete the tasks instead.
When night time finally rolled around Noelle finally bid you good night and you were hesitant to leave her because...
You had nowhere to stay.
The dark Mondstadt streets, only lit up by the few streetlights still lit by candles and night owls still awake inside their houses creeped you out.
Where would you stay? You couldn't stay outside for too long, it was freezing and you only had the clothes on your back.
Maybe you could sneak into Angel's Share and sleep in the rafters? That way you'd stay warm and they were open 24/7 you believed.
Maybe you should just tell someone you got transported here from another world. That's what the Traveler did and now they're a renowned hero with a teapot to live in...
Teapot... Teapot! If you could find the Teapot...
"Shit! Where did I last set it down..." You scrounged through your memory, praying it wasn't in the inventory. You had no clue how to access that or if you even could access it.
You recalled... teleporting to Windrise to grab some crystalflies and heal up... and opening up your teapot. That's where it is then. Or at least you hoped.
Even if it wasn't there, sleeping in the big Windrise tree didn't sound like a bad idea. So long as you didn't freeze to death.
With that in mind you set out to begin your walk to Windrise, sending a wave to Katheryne as you left. She wished you good luck which made your heart swell. Her eyes always seemed to know too much... but in this case it was quite comforting.
You also waved goodbye to the guards outside Mondstadt's gate, and they saluted with kind smiles.
You hummed, tiredly making your way across the bridge once more. What a lovely day in Mondstadt, you mused to yourself, humming the quiet nighttime tune.
*~
Your legs were jelly by the time you made it to Windrise, silently thanking the gods that you weren't attacked on the way there. Tiredly, you looked around the statue and the tree for any sign of your teapot and...
nothing. Absolutely nothing.
With a groan, you sat down at the base of the statue, burying your head in your hands, too tired to hold your head up on your own.
You just needed to shut your eyes for a moment...
*~
You blinked your eyes open as the sun glared at you. Squinting up, you noticed you were now laying at the base of the statue.
You paused as a melody filled your ears, close by and unfamiliar. You turned your head to see a bard - your bard - playing the lyre and humming a tune.
"Ah, you're finally awake." He grinned, "What were you doing sleeping outside by the statue?"
You groggily sat up, "Venti?" You groaned, "I was just... traveling and ended up falling asleep."
He hummed, "You know my name?"
Goddamnit-
You nodded, "Yes, you're quite the famous bard aren't you?" The excuse flew naturally off your tongue, it wasn't necessarily a lie either.
Venti giggled, his fingers idly plucking a tune, "Quite the charmer aren't you? Though, can't say you're entirely incorrect. I am the best bard in the world! Most famous though? I can't really say." He leaned in, his face nearly touching yours, "So, how do you know me hm? You just arrived to Mondstadt yesterday after all and I don't believe you ever caught my name or even saw me."
"...You were watching me?" You questioned, your eyes narrowed.
Venti faked an offended gasp, "You make me sound like a criminal! I was merely observing my surroundings. I saw you, an odd looking traveler, and had to observe you for a bit of time. Can't blame me for being a little curious." His grin was sly and it made you roll your eyes.
"Still a bit creepy if you ask me, especially for an apparently not-so-famous bard." You challenged him, your eyes sharp as they dug into him.
He shrugged, "I gotta watch over Mondstadt. I love the city with my life, you know. Now answer the question, how do you know me?" His eyes were so playful for such a scathing question.
You hummed, surprisingly calm given how wrong this could go, "How do you think I know you, bard?"
He giggled, "Asking me the questions now are you?" His fingers switched up and started playing a much more familiar tune. One he shouldn't know, "Perhaps you've been watching me for a long time now. And whenever I saw your eyes I just knew they were the same ones that had been watching me for countless months. Hm?"
Your eyes shot open, "How do you know that song?"
"I know every song," His teal eyes sparkled with mischief and glee, "Past present and future."
Your jaw slackened, but you couldn't help the grin that tugged at your lips.
"I suppose I wasn't aware of just how far your knowledge reached, O' Anemo Archon." You snickered, and jokingly bowed.
Venti giggled, his fingers stopping his playing so he could mockingly bow back, "And I suppose I wasn't aware of how stubborn you are, O' Great Creator."
"What?" Your playful nature halted in its tracks as you stared at Venti, dumbfounded.
He blinked, confused, "Huh?"
You shook your disbelief away with a shake of your head and a laugh, "Did you just call me Teyvat's God?" You chuckled, "Then should I call you your friend's name?"
A flash of hurt took over his eyes, he whined, "Huh? What do they have to do with this, your grace?"
"What?" Dread crawled into the back of your throat, "Cut it out Venti, don't joke like that."
"But I'm not joking, your grace. Did you- did you not know?" His eyes were wide and glassy, "I'm sorry..."
You blinked owlishly, "Wha- you're serious? I thought- I thought I just looked like them!"
"I thought that was your intention!" Venti cried, "I thought this was like- a test of loyalty or something!"
"No! What? Am I actually-" You couldn't force the words out as you stared Venti in the eyes, stunned.
"Y-yes!" He shouted, "You're the creator! I can sense it! So can the slimes and animals. Don't you see?" He pointed to the nearby birds, their gaze turned towards you, "They like you! The monsters don't attack you and this statue calls out to you! Don't you feel its warmth? It's probably why you didn't freeze last night."
You were silent as the information processed, "So- so wait!" You turned your body fully facing Venti, "That shrine in the cathedral... was for me?" You asked, bewildered.
He nodded, "Yeah! Did- did you really not know?"
Immediately you were wildly shaking your head, "No! I just- I dunno! I thought I was like the traveler or something that just got dropped off here one day."
"The traveler came here of their own free will, (Name)!" Venti sighed, "I just- You look exactly like them too!"
"Listen! Denial is a powerful think, okay!" You huffed.
"Fine, I get it." He rested his head on his hands, his eyes meeting yours, "So... are you gonna tell the others?"
"... Dunno." You shrugged, "What would happen if I did?"
"Well..." Venti tapped his finger against his face and used his other hand to hold up his pointer finger, "Zhongli would go batshit. He's got a whole log up his ass when it comes to you and how to 'properly worship you' bleh." Venti stuck his tongue out, "Then there's Baal, she'll probably also go insane over you. She's like a lost puppy." He held up a third finger, "Then there's Jean and the knights. I think they'd be... alright. If you told them they'd try and throw huge festivals for you and worship you. Oh, and the church would triple their worshipping for you, obviously."
You roughly sighed, "So... I won't be treated as a human is what you're saying."
"I mean- well- yeah." He frowned, "Don't worry, I get it if you don't wanna do a whole grand reveal. It's stressful. Too much work, y'know?"
You hummed in agreement, "The thing is..." You frowned, "We don't have any mora."
Venti scoffed, straightening his back with a proud grin, "Speak for yourself! I have a mora."
You snorted, "A mora."
"Hey, better than what you're doing," He took off his hat, "It's right in here-"
You both stared at the hat that was almost as empty as your souls.
"Okay well," Venti put his hat back on, "Nothing a little begging can't do. Not like I haven't played music for money before."
You stared at the ground hopelessly, "...so... how do you think Ningguang would react to me telling her I'm the creator?"
Venti snorted, "I like the way you think but... she'd be grand. I think she'd make you live in the Jade Chamber and give you every little thing you could ever want. She can keep a secret though I'll bet."
You hummed and stared at Venti, living a life as free as a bird. Even with the status of the Anemo Archon, he was as free as his people, and just as happy as them as well.
"Not really the life I wanna live... what about Childe?"
Venti shuddered, "I love you (Name), but no. He makes... quite a spectacle of things. And, well," Venti frowned, "He'd probably leave a few corpses at your doorstep."
"Ah," You grimaced, "Okay so... we're fucked."
"Ah ah ah," Venti waggled his finger comically, "Don't you remember what I said? I can sing for money, and I'm sure with you, the creator's look-alike right by my side helping me with my performance, we'd make double the money! I mean," His eyes were alight with mischievous glee, an expression on him you were coming to dread, "That Noelle girl yesterday had no problem giving you a free meal just cause you look like the creator! So I'm sure we'll pull in lots of cash!"
You frowned and then a lightbulb went off in your head, "Wait a minute," Venti raised a brow, intrigued, "If I'm the supposed creator or god of this world... then those offerings at the altars and shrines are meant for me... right?"
Venti nodded with a tilt of his head, "Yes? ...Oh... Oh!" His eyes lit up like Christmas lights, "You mean-?"
You grinned, "So that means that if I were to... let's say... take the items and sell them, it wouldn't be wrong right?"
Venti tilted his head back and laughed, "No, I suppose it wouldn't be, your grace."
Your grin was damn near evil, "Then I suppose we have our plan then."
Venti nodded, "I suppose we do!" He hopped up and grabbed your hand to help you up as well, "Though I think my singing idea was pretty good." He kicked his legs up like a child as you both made your way back to Mondstadt, "Who knows, I might even become the most famous bard in all of Teyvat with you by my side!"
You hummed, smiling fondly at the silly bard at your side, "Perhaps."
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dirtytransmasc · 7 months
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ok but like, Modest!Alicent Hightower au (more modest than she already is) cause I feel like it, it adds ✨layers✨
Alicent who veils her hair during her day to day life, elegant laces and silks adorning her long ginger-brown hair, covering it completely at the Sept.
Alicent who wears dresses with long heavy skirts and always covers her elbows with billowing sleeves.
Alicent who conceals her silhouette with thick shaping garments. they also just helped her back during her pregnancies and taking care of kids (her servants recommended them so she'd have full range of motion and support)
Alicent who was stripped of her modesty, her dignity and sense of security whenever Viserys wanted her. stripped of it by her own father when he sent her to Viserys's chambers in a dress that didn't cover as much as she would have liked, especially when she visited a man with those (silent) instructions.
Alicent who lets her hair down around people she trusts. covering it around Rhaenyra after she abandoned her, a blow to Rhaenyra, a blatant "you hurt me and broke my trust". letting Criston see her hair after he becomes her sworn sword. covering in front of Viserys until he demands she stops. Alicent putting a little makeshift veil on her daughter, who wanted to look like her mum, promising it would protect her from how loud the world was.
Alicent who only trusts her closest servants to dress her, and even then insists on being in a full shift before they can come in.
Alicent who felt stripped bare while giving birth to her children.
little Alicent looking up to her mum who was also very modest, and spending her childhood playing in long skirts.
Alicent who wears shawls and scarves out in public or at events. Criston watches to make sure she remains properly covered. her hands fiddling with the patterns or tassels while she talks to others.
Alicent doing this with her kids:
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Criston offering her his cloak when she's put in bad situations like sudden crowds or outings.
wearing flowy but opaque fabrics during the summers, looking ethereal and goddess-like with her layers skirts and sleeves.
the whole Larys situation being even more sickening.
all 3 of her sons being protective of her modesty alongside Criston, always offering their cloaks to her or standing to block her from the wind or wandering eyes. Aegon holding her veil in place when it's windy, Aemond placing a cloak over her in public, Daeron fiercely defending his mum from lusting glances or lingering stares.
Helaena continuing to veil with her mum when they go out, they love matching veils and trying ornate styles.
Alicent fixing her daughters veil in attempts to get it to stay in on dragon back. it doesn't. but they don't mind the extra bonding time none the less.
gold veils that literally make her look like she's dripping in gold.
tucking her babes in her shawls or holding them against her skirts that are practically swallowing them whole.
Alicent collecting layers. Ornate undergarments that cover her arms in gold and embroidered patterns, some almost like tapestries others more simple. undershirts that cover her neck, with "choker" patterns and sewn in jewels. modest nightgowns and robes made of the softest, most breathable fabrics in existence.
covering her face on holy days/days of importance.
I just have so many thoughts.
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hashileio · 1 year
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papy hang in there;;;
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cinnamon-flame · 3 months
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Got inspired by a bunch of amphibians on a lecture and I finally came up with the designs for the rest of Goldstone and Amethyst's siblings + an ancient Seawing cryptid that can turn ocean water into blood or something.
Icons and creatures they're based on:
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Drizzle - moorfrog (she's a blend between female and breeding season male colors btw) Noctiluca - Noctiluca scintillans, a protist that can make water glow but also they're the causes of toxic algae blooms than can turn water red Viridian - european green toad Tarn - alpine newt
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mochawulfie · 1 year
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🧪🥼
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secret-smut-sideblog · 3 months
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We The Drowned
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Ascended Astarion x F! Tav
18+ fear, drugging, injury, fears of pregnancy, dubcon, longing, implied death, self sacrifice, just indulgent drama
Astarion long since ascended, Tav has made her mind up to escape his grasp at any cost...
-
Hands shaking, she laid awake. Plan already in motion. But Gods she was so afraid.
Tears sliding down cheeks she cursed herself.
It was what he wanted, what he begged her to help him achieve. Ascension. And Gods she had wanted the world for him. Wanted him to follow his own desires. Had trusted him. Trusted him to know what would be best for him.
She was wrong. So very wrong.
The man laying next to her was far from the man she fell in love with. Cruel. Cold. Vicious.
Oh how she had held on hope. Hope that he would come back to himself. To her. Staying by his side for so long. Years. The length of her hair, the state of her withering body, a witness to her despair, her devotion. Even searching in small moments, so desperate to see just a glimmer. But he was gone.
If she hadn't already known she did now. Pulling her into his bed chambers. Pushing her onto the sheets. Halfway through thrusting hard into her he had laughed, "My pet, I've made a discovery." Hand coming to wrap around her throat. "In this new perfect form I can do something novel. You can give me something precious, I know you want that."
Leaning into her ear, sharp fingernails digging into flesh. "You can sire me an heir."
Terror shook her body at the thought. She had refused being his spawn, that measure of control free from her. Much to his attempts at persuasion, then bitter anger. Knew it was only a matter of time before his precious little patience broke. That he would take her mortality by force.
But a child... his child.
No. No it had to be tonight. She had no choice. Before it was too late.
Held her breath in silent prayer. Felt a phantom twitch in her belly. If it wasnt already too late.
She had been working in secret on an escape plan for months. In the few moments when he would let her be alone she formed her route. Working out every angle, every flaw that she could. It was a great effort as he loathed to have her out of his sight, his reach. His consort.
His pet.
Now as he laid finally still next to her, drugged by the slow acting paralytic in her blood, she reached weakly against her numb limbs. Fighting the heavy pull.
Her handmaid rushed into the room. Right on time, Gods bless her.
"Here," She urged quietly, pouring the antidote into her slack mouth. "Good job, there you go." She encouraged sweetly as she shallowly swallowed, gaining strength.
Shakily she rose, adrenaline already throttling her spine. Gripping her beloved face in her hands. "He'll kill you. Oh Gods, Madeline I'm so sorry." Overcome in gratitude, in grief. Pressing a desperate kiss into her soft lips. Their last, she knew.
The memory of them holding hands in the garden, the overhang of the canopy shading them from the world. Leaning her head into the gentle curl of her shoulder. The tender way she had pushed her hair behind her ear. A love so brief, so bright. So little time shared.
"I know," Her beautiful savior whispered, pressing their foreheads together briefly. "Now go. You have to go."
Choking back a sob she took fast to feet, grabbing the supplies she had hidden under her side of the bed. Forced herself not to look back.
Running down the hallway she knew her time was limited. It was a potent paralytic but he was so much stronger now, would overcome it much faster than a mortal man.
Hidden door. Thirty paces. Turn. She ducked into the servants side door, the shortcut. The dark cramped hallway rushing past her. Twisting and ducking under pipes. Slats of light striking her face in a blur.
Steps. Remember the steps.
Bursting from the hidden door she rushed through the empty ballroom out onto the balcony. Empty of guards, the rotation switch.
The night air mockingly peaceful. She gulped it in. Eyes already zeroed in on her next hurdle.
Throwing her pack over the edge. Shuddering at the time it took to hear its distant thud against the ground.
Only room enough for one long length of rope in her pack, she had one option.
Downing a feather fall potion she looked over the edge of the castle wall, trying not to let the dizzy height consume her. Her fear too much, she turned her back, her heels kissing the edge.
She caught a pulse of light high above her from an ornate window. A crash. Out of time.
Closing her eyes she stepped back into oblivion.
Falling. Falling.
How she had fell from the nautiloid ship. Both an escape. But the time she had a guardian to catch her was far behind her.
Back meeting ground, the wind knocked brute out of her. Even with the potion the fall had been too great. Felt a crack in her ribs.
No time for pain. She had to go.
Scrambling to feet she slung her pack over her back. Planting her feet and taking off like a shot. Bare feet scratching and angry against the underbrush.
"Provolo! " She cried with precious little breath. Could feel her feet move lighter, the momentum coming easier. Haste, another precious advantage.
The sound of rising voices from the castle walls behind her.
Fly forth.
Ducking and weaving around trees, over logs, she felt a tenuous joy start to rise in her chest. Oh Gods she might make it.
Bursting out of the treeline to the magnificent sound of the sea crashing angry below. The tree she had chosen was still here, her anchor.
She ran the rope around its base. So many lengths tied together, long enough to let her drop somewhat unscathed. Tying the knot, the one she had been practicing for weeks, against its ridged skin.
"Please hold." She whispered. Whipping the remaining length out, invisible over the side of the cliff.
Tying her meager possessions into a small bag tight around her waist. Pulling her long braid out of the way, looping loose around her throat. She rushed to the edge, vertigo making her stomach turn. No more potions. If she fell this was it.
Taking the rope in hands she planted her feet, her toes gripping the loose soil.
Gave herself a single moment to close her eyes, take a steadying breath in, out. Okay.
One step backwards, two. Dangling out over the edge. So far to fall. Three steps, four. Dangling. Feet planted against vertical soil. Hands releasing, lowering. Five steps, six. Between worlds, suspended in air.
A violent pull upwards.
Her eyes flashed up, terror gripping her.
A pale hand, fist white knuckled.
Red eyes above.
Eyes full of... fear? No it couldn't be.
Her heart slammed against her sternum. The desperation on his face crumpling her will.
Memories pummeled her. His hand trailing soft in her hair. Eyes bright with mirth as they fell laughing over eachother by the campfire, a stupid in-joke. His voice whispering sweetness into her neck as he gripped her, hips falling into her shivering body.
The pet name she had given him, the one he he insisted he hated, hands on hips. The little smile he couldn't hide as she drawled it at him.
"Starlight?" She asked breathlessly, eyes swimming heavy with tears.
His so wide, so soft again. Her love.
But then he was gone.
"Where do you think you're going," Other hand coming to pull. "Darling?" He hissed at her. Another handful of distance lost.
She rapidly released her grip, white hot pain against the tender flesh of her palms as she broke her descent. Ground gained but not nearly enough.
The smuggled boat waiting for her under the overhang of stone, she only had to make it to the mouth of the cave.
But she knew it was over. His strength was too great, she couldn't descend fast enough.
She would not be kept, he couldnt have her. Only one option.
She looked up into his eyes.
"I love you." Bitter tears burning her face. "I still love you."
"Please let me go."
He laughed, wrenching another length of rope towards his body. "And give up everything? Every gift you've given me?"
Eyes cutting into her. "Every gift you can still give me? No..." Almost face to face now.
"No, I dont think I will."
She was deeply afraid, but more than that, she was angry. Bright fury ripping through her chest. One hand relaxing it's grip.
Angry at everything she had lost. Angry at him for tricking her into thinking he knew his own heart.
Spiteful at every single piece of the life she had wanted with him, that his ambition had stolen. The beautiful thing they could have shared.
In her heart she let it all go.
"Goodbye Astarion."
His hand almost at her wrist, slipping away. "No!" He bellowed, lunging fruitlessly.
She closed her eyes as it all fell away. His wild eyes, the rope, the edge of the earth.
Tumbling through the air she went limp. It was finally over. His pet no more.
The air singing through her whipping hair.
It was done.
She was ready.
Now she just had to meet the water.
-
-
-
"Unghh..."
Far away. What was that? Gods, someone stop it. That sound.
She was so tired, just let her rest.
"Mmfhhh..."
Closer. Wasnt the afterlife supposed to be peaceful?
Was she not owed some Godsdamned peace?
"Uaaghh! " Her gurgling voice came to her all at once. Eyes shooting open.
Coughing great heaves of sea water, she rocked back and forth in the sand. Pinpricks of light in her eyes. Limbs rubber.
How. How had she survived?
From the state of her body she surmised she barely had. Broken, bloody, bruised.
And free.
She laughed wildly. He must think her dead.
Free.
Only time would tell if she had a new problem. Hand to her hunched belly. Gods above and below, spare her one more time.
Coughing and wretching she sat back on her haunches, exhaustion bone deep.
"Shadowheart!" She gasped, the plan suddenly coming back to her.
Sending a single folded letter with a servant, prayed it would reach to the Selunite outpost. Got a small book slipped under her door in return, a pressed night orchid in its pages.
She would be much earlier than she had estimated in her letter, but she knew that wonderful cleric would be waiting for her already. Not one to stand idle.
Pushing back with trembling arms. Rising on legs dead heavy. Heart lifted on high.
She began her long journey back to her life.
~
Part 2
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puppyeared · 7 months
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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