#cause i kinda feel like my irl friends hate me for some reason and i already feel bad that i’ve been so busy i’ve not been able to | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-cat-and-the-birdie · 9 months

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I keep regurgitating my OC in your askbox but you must know that Ansi is a liar, a swindler, and a thief (because it's fun pulling on over on the rich). She is actively swindling all of her coworkers out of their money via phishing emails or just giving a sob story to those who are particularly generous with their funds. (Don't feel bad they're all selfish, entitled, and egotistical. The Alchemax of her world is mostly just rich people who think that they understand science kinda like someone we know irl cougheloncough. They have too much time on their hands and too many friends in power. Ethics laws are pretty much meaningless. They only give her money to make themselves look better. They make a big stink about how they're making a change for their community and blah blah blah. Anyways.) If she doesn't need the cash she'll most likely donate it.

What's really funny is that she attempted to do the same as soon as she arrived at HQ. Much to Miguel's dismay. She got some of the spiders who live in an older dimension. Unfortunately after a while Lyla had to teach them about internet safety.

Ansi ended up scoping the place out to see what she could steal to sell for parts back in her home world since her scams were no longer effective. However she was so mesmerized by all of the tech there that she ended up keeping most of her stolen goods for herself to tinker with. Her and Hobie usually find themselves in the same areas snatching stuff and exchanging potential ideas for what to do with the parts. Disco has caught them a number of times with their pockets stuffed to the brim sounding like they got pockets full of loose change before they just pop back into their respective dimensions.

(Who am I kidding Hobie probably stays and denies everything when asked. Ansi is too tired to lie from lugging her loot around so she just goes straight home.)

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

It would turn into like a whole operation cause game recognize game!!!! Disco would respect Ansi so much cause black spider-women gotta stick together and she lets Ansi get away with anything, sets aside parts for her cause she's like 'hell yeah fuck miguel he doesn't need it'

but with Hobie she's the OPPOSITE.

Ansi's like 'yeah Discos cool with it ur fine' then one day she catches him and he's thinking 'oh it's the groupie girl i wink and im outta here'

until Disco is like

"Is that Hobie Brown??? Is HOBIE BROWN over here STEALING???? That's crazy!"

Because Disco runs game in her own way and up until that very moment she was playing the airhead groupie card

Hobies like "????Surely ur taking the piss"

And she's like "You know what'd be crazy?? Me not having to pay cover at your show this weekend, rightttt? You know what'd be even crazier..me being VIP, rigghhttt?

cause for the first couple weeks of knowing her she let him get away with the wink and flirt thing cause she thought it was funny. but she works in a nightclub back home and she's NOT about to play that

Disco was raised by the Panthers so she knows how to collect and trade information like an informat. So she trades info and other stuff around HQ ALL the time.

She's the plug for anything - if you wanna hack ur watch she dont know how to do it but she knows someone he does, if u need to get into lylas systems for any reason she wont do that but she knows someone who will

but she doesnt accept cash cause she doesn't need it and she doesn't 'get into no mess'

(And this may sound unhinged but this is my favorite one jgkbdknbg)

My main HC is that the first time she does it to get into a show free but the next time she asks for his guitar pick cause she just wants it

she starts wearing it (which Jess HATES) but suddenly she realizes theres a couple girlies on campus telling her they'd do anything for one of Hobie's picks and then suddenly she's asking him for more

She starts giving groupies picks and getting information from every department and then like two weeks later the hobie brown fanclub is just a full on info network

Working with Jess and the club she collects all the underground info and shares the information with Hobie ON THE CONDITION that the club gets free entry into shows and he keeps giving her goddamn guitar picks

He'd try to get around it and be like "Diane, love - you're looking fit today :)) about that meeting with Jess and Miguel you were in-"

and she's just like "uh-huh-

"Where's the pick? And don't say you ain't got it on you, I know you do." Cause one thing about Diane is you ain't playing her. And Hobie goes along with it because 1) Disco is actually really trustworthy, 2) it's damn good info about the society, and 3) he thinks it REALLY funny to see people walking around campus trading and collecting his picks for the sole fact it pisses Miguel off SO MUCH.

Suddenly people are talking in meetings and whispering about guitar picks and trying to get their hands on rare, unique ones cause Hobie etches his logo into every one

and one day Ansi's hanging with Hobie and Disco comes up to him and is like 'Pick, please'. And Ansi watches as he hands it over and she's like "?????? What's happening here"

I have to PHYSICALLY STOP MYSELF HERE I CAN GO ON AND ON IM SORRY THIS IS SOOOOO LONG BUT PLEASE!!! I love this please send more!! I love hearing about Ansi and Hobie and causing havok and an underground rebellion in the Society!!! And sorry I got so carried away I just love this idea, you can send any you have, I'm down! They would all get along so well lol

#spidersona stuff #And IM ABOUT TO SEND U OC QUESTIONS IF THATS OKAY #spidersonas #spidersona #hobie brown x oc #spider-man #spiderman #spiderpunk #oc stuff #atsv #hobie brown

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basslinegrave · 8 months

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hhhgdh

how to hang out with ppl irl without them being weird to me? would love to go anon somehow (i guess its bad to be like infiltrating a space but i mean it as starting off with a clean slate?) because idontknow. lowkey argued with someone today (i was right i just said the facts they called me a smartass and said im wrong. nuh uh) i guess they just actually dislike me or something being against me so much, cause they never say hi back irl and i feel like the few ppl that are like that carry it over to others.. like ppl i met separately from the groups were so chill and nice to me and then suddenly didnt even wanna talk to me or say hi idk what happened i doubt its cause im not always active on social media/in group chats but anyway. id like to like... be more anon and get to know more ppl instead of coming into a group and them already having a bad idea about me for some reason. probably im just making it up and being worried for no reason but it feels like some people genuinely dislike me - and thats okay! cant like everyone! i just feel like it spread to others too for no reason....

once again just trying to have a nice experience in the local furry fandom! i should stop trying and just enjoy having what i got (the 2 people that i actually vibe with, im grateful for that!!)

i know im a weirdo probably. i dont think its bad to be like unhinged, im naturally drawn to such people and some are like that in the groups too, idk whats the problem maybe cause theyre mostly from the big city and see each other and im just an outsider that cant even attend events? idk? but if im like the socially unacceptable weird? am i? how do i get to know that

or do they know im evil and a hater 😳 /hj

also extra but obvs i dont know everyone right? im still fairly new in these circles so i cant know everyone! but at one con a guy came to me and we were kinda hanging out there (had no friends with me and its my usual thing to find new ppl like this), he was a bit awful to me but i didnt know at first, later i found out everyone just hates him cause hes a creep, i wonder if its partially a reason they think im like that cause i was with him?? cuz we met someone else too and they were annoyed, probably thought im friends with the creep... i did draw something for the other person after that and they were really nice during that, and in group chats its neutral, but i got to meet them quite recently again and they literally just like ignored me idk. i mean im not very talkative and am more introverted but i tried to socialize and stuff, but it was very much as if i was an unexpected (and unwanted) guest :/ well sorry i was invited! sorry i went to hang out with friends and socialize ugh

also thought about this today but people my age and younger we rarely are on good terms it seems like, there are few exceptions, but usually its people even just a bit older than me that are more chill and mature idk. gonna be ageist and expect anyone under 21 is gonna be mean to me lol

#thoughts are being thunk #long rant #tldr i cant befriend local furries and it feels like they dislike me for no reason #and i keep trying when i know the outcome already

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ace-and-the-rpg-horrors · 9 months

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my current ranking of Sekai units (i love them all btw + reasons undercut)

1.) Wonderlands x Showtime

2.) Leo/need

3.) Nightcord @ 25:00

4.) More More Jump

5.) Vivid Bad Squad

W x S: love these characters so much. their dynamic as a group is brilliant, every single relationship within the group is so fun!! i also really love their story, and they get points for reminding me of my A3! days, with the whole "theatre in shambles and threatened with being shut down" concept, which they pull off really well!! adore the shenanigans and general chaos caused by them- and the silliness they normally show off does make their more serious moments feel more impactful. they have fun songs too!! not at all surprised that these clowns seem to be the fan faves, they've definitely earned it <33 (i am TERRIFIED about the possibility of their disbandment i will sob so hard) also Rui's in W x S, enough said

L/N: they feel like the most realistic unit to me!! their story about the fear and pain of drifting away from your beloved friends hits SO hard, the conflict happening between them, especially Shiho being frustrated by Honami's people-pleasing her snake classmates- things like that happen all of the time in a school and they feel really relatable. Saki's illness and its effects are pretty emotional too. plus, the Virtual Singers have the best outfits in their Sekai in my opinion, i adore the looks, especially Miku and Kaito's. they have some extremely catchy songs too, Peaky Peaky, Tale of the Deep-sea Lily and Roki being ones always in my head!!

N25: about 90% of my favourite songs in the game are from their unit (including Usseewa which is probably my fave song in the game rn), in fact i knew some of them before i got into the game!! plus, i find their songs the easiest to play generally, which means i've become quite familiar with them!! love the concept of them mostly being online friends through Nightcord, feel like it's quite relatable for us chronically online lot, showing how our online friends can be just as valuable as our irls <3 plus the characters explicitly struggling with mental illness is so refreshing to see, especially with the way it's portrayed- it's not like they suddenly get "healed" or "fixed" by the end of their main and event stories, but it's shown to be a gradual process, with the occasional slip back into a less-than-idea mental state within their stories. i'm not too invested in Kanade and Mafuyu (in fact, Mafuyu's character and situation makes me rather uncomfortable due to how close to home it hits) but i ADORE Mizuki and Ena, their bantering is everything to me and i love both of their characters

MMJ: i really love how their stories really focus on like the brutal reality? of being in a performing industry. the way they deal with crushing expectations and some weird fans, especially poor Shizuku, how she's pestered by them all the time. speaking of Shizuku, i've started to really love her character recently, she's just so lovely!! and Minori's also really fun to watch, her willingness to keep on trying despite their fans being really mean to her sometimes is so strong of her!! they also have super pretty card art most of the time

VBS: tbh, the reason i've ranked them low is cause they don't feel like a proper, complete unit to me. a lot of the time, it really feels like it's just two duos collabing, unlike the other units who actually feel much more involved with EVERY other person in their unit, not just their main partner. it kinda hurts to rank them this low because i LOVE An and Kohane, but tbh Akito and Toya don't interest me as much? i'm not sure why, i really like their dynamics with other characters, but i'm not all that invested in just them (Akito is slowly growing on me though, as much as i hate to admit it cause i, like everyone else, love bullying him) they have some great songs, the Anhane Odo cover is just brilliant and i'm OBSESSED with City

#project sekai #pjsk #pjsekai #wonderlands x showtime #leo/need #nightcord at 25:00 #more more jump #vivid bad squad #ace's random thoughts :)

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first-only · 2 years

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Kinda random question, but I need to know and you're quite knowledgeable

Are there people who actually start crying when others are crying? Like I see it all the time in shows and movies, but I didn't think it was an actual thing. Cause like, when I'm around someone who's crying I just feel kinda awkward and idk what to do (I do try to comfort them, but I don't start crying, or even really feel sad)

I have to believe it's real, because of how often it shows up in media. But I personally really don't relate to it, and I've never seen it happen irl (but then again I don't have that many people I hang out with, especially irl)

Thanks

there are all kinds of people, if you start to ask the question 'are there people who--' you can be assured that there are lol

and yes this is very much a thing, for various reasons. it could be a trauma response, it could be conditioned, it could be an overwhelming compassion thing (= im so sad that you feel this way, that it makes me wanna cry too); it can be an empathy thing.

empathy is that thing some brains do where they interpret the emotion they're witnessing and go 'ah yes in order to understand the situation and person and what they're feeling better, we're going to now experience the emotion we think they're experiencing!! enjoy :)'. which is not the same as compassion and is not a synonym or a requirement for kindness, as per the description. there are people with low or no empathy that are kind and caring, undistraught by experiencing the (perceived) emotion themselves. there are people with high empathy who would rather not experience negative emotions so they're actually more prone to being crude and distant. this is one of the many terms widely misused so i mention it

as for comforting people, it all depends on the people, yes? like someone might want to be left alone, another might want a shoulder to cry on, or a ear to listen. for some just being present is a comfort. even people who are 'good at comforting others' eventually come to meet someone who is just not responsive to their particular approach. i tend to try and distract with some sillifying of the situation but literally one of my best friends hates that approach and thus i need to either adapt or leave it to someone else so i dont upset them further. which is to say, you approach might be the right one for someone, but there is no universal 'good at comforting' that you can learn by the book and apply like a hammer :)

#ask #or you know - sympathy - this situation is so bad that i feel like crying bc of it too #or a myriad more #emotional responses are many often unpredictable and sometimes illogical #and sometimes crying is a purely physical response even if you dont feel the emotion correspondent to it #be it sadness or happiness or fear or what have you #bodies and brains be like that sometimes

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bloos-bloo · 2 months

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So a little different from what I normally post on here. But I’ve been keeping up with Shelby coming out about the abuse Wilbur did to her. And the way that the internet is handling this like it’s some drama? Like no? The fuck it isn’t?? It’s literally a crime-

A human bite is so fucking dangerous and the fact that she had MULTIPLE BITES? Insane?? What the fuck?

I will admit, I avoided watching her stream since I’m also an abuse survivor. I constantly undermine my experiences- I hate calling myself a victim because I don’t believe the severity of it was as bad as it could have been. But, listening to Shelby talk about her trauma made me realize that abuse is abuse.

I’m gonna go on a small rant here- just because this whole thing has been kinda sending me in a spiral-

I listened to the stream and I sympathized with her and understood her. When you’re in an abusive situation, it’s really hard to find it in yourself to get out. Finding reasons why the bruises aren’t bad and that it could be worse. Trying to get people to understand that it’s not your abusers fault, that you did something to piss them off. I get that- I went through that.

I was a kid. My abuser was a kid. He would either use his or my own body to get me to listen to him. We were in middle school for fuck sake- Did he hit me? Yes. Did he verbally assault me? Yes. Were we both minors? Yes. Does this make my situation seem less than any other? I don’t know- Again, I can’t bring myself to fully accept the fact that I am a victim despite the fact it happened a few years ago at this point.

Now, the half-assed apology Wilbur posted deadass reminded me of mine. When someone is caught, they do everything to pin the reason for their actions on anybody else but themselves. And that’s what he did. He apologized for her feelings getting hurt, not the fact that he caused it. I went through that, but I was forced to accept the apology through my school officials- I had to so we can ‘maintain the peace’. I love the fact that Shelby publicly said that she didn’t accept it. She was so strong for so long- she didn’t deserve that, nobody does.

And the fact that people online are trying to force responses out of EVERYBODY? They shouldn’t do that- and again, I understand taking time to recollect. You know how long I spent staying around my abuser just because I had friends who still talked to him? So long. But at the same time, I couldn’t drop him either for a while- He was my best friend- and despite the fact he hurt me so badly. I couldn’t drop him.

Give people time to say something. It’s a LOT harder than it seems- it’s different for fans since we don’t know CCs beyond the internet, but for CCs who talking irl and have been for years? It’s so damn hard-

To other abuse survivors: Remember that you are loved, you are strong, and you are so fucking brave.

Please give all your support to Shelby, and fuck Wilbur.

#bloo’s talks #Please support victims #tw abuse #I don’t know what to tag for these kinds of posts tbh #also this is as open as I will get about my experiences-#it’s still hard for me to talk about since I only remember bits and pieces #I used to have screenshots #but those were on an old phone that I can’t find #But yeah- dealing with something that serious at such a young age fucked me up #I still struggle with relapses #like bad ones-#it hurts to get in relationships sometimes because of it #which is weird since it was a friendship? but I was nearly manipulated into a relationship #love yourself #remember that #also I said something similar to this on my Twitter #but writing out something like this kinda helps yk?#support shelby #seemed like a better tag tbf

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satans-arse-crack · 4 months

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Hey my lovely tumblr blog thing, how ya doing 😏

It has been ages since I’ve like said anything on here like a solid couple of months I think. I just wanted to come here and vent for a little cause there’s a lot of shit going on and I don’t know how to feel about it. I know that nobody is ever going gonna read this but it’s kinda just my way of getting shit out yk. If anyone happens to come across this and actually read it then good for your ig 😭 (none of this is gonna make sense which is my it is a random ramble) anyways onto the rambling 😗✌🏻

-Here’s some music to listen to ❤️-

These past couple of months have been overwhelming to say the least. My PlayStation account keeps getting banned for no reason. I had I strange clash with a girl I used to be friends with and all her little pals, it wasn’t a fun interaction to say the least

School is stressing me out to the max and I have no clue what I’m going to do

My friends are really starting to annoy me but I can’t do anything about it. I wish I could drop them but 1) I have no other friends cause they are my only ones 2) I feel extremely guilty even thinking about that

My online friend has really been causing me the most idk stress, anxiety, upset? Idk how to put it. He’s just been such an asshole for the past like 2 months and it’s getting on my nerves. I got really close to him and for ages I used to get like upset or anxious if he didn’t reply to me (I think I’ve got some kind of anxious attachment or something, it’s some kind of anxiety) but honestly for the past couple of weeks and especially at the start of the month he was just such an ass that it honestly gave me so much of an ick I started not to care anymore.

Speaking of that friend OHHHHHHHHH HAS HE BEEN SUCH AN ARSE ABOUT EVERYTHING. Basically I had tried to explain to this boy about how and why I seem to get anxious or upset when he doesn’t message me back or seems dry, and the mf started to use that shit againt me as a joke. Now I introduced my online friend to my irl friend at the start of November right. And they kinda clash but there seems to be no hard feelings, well sometimes when he decides he want to clash with her he sometimes brings me into it. Sometimes he’ll bring up stuff to make fun of me (shit I told him in serious conversations in full confidence) like he’s brought up the fact that I cry a lot, the fact that I get upset when he doesn’t message me, the fact I have no other friends. The list goes on for ever

This friend also constantly mentions how he doesn’t wanna be friends with me anymore, how he hates talking to me, how he can’t wait to get rid of me. It’s confusing, if he hates me so much then why does he always invite me to ps parties, why does he sometimes message me when shit happens with his family like??

Also I know this friend has constantly lied to me in the past and it’s now pissing me off

I just can’t with people anymore they stress me out so much

Half of me wishes I could go the rest of my life is solitude but the other half hates being alone

Another thing, I feel so genuinely alone, I have no one to talk to, no one checks up on me, no one seems to make an effort to talk to me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t remember the last time I had a friend check up on me and be like “hey are you doing ok”

And if I’m being honest I don’t know what my answer would be cause I’m not doing ok at all, I have no motivation or energy to do anything anymore, Im scared im slowly loosing interest in my hobby. I’m scared I’m pushing people away. I don’t know if I’m depressed or just sad .

I’m just sitting here and waiting for some good luck and fortune to come my way

I’m honestly considering starting a journal, just to write in when I feel this way or just any time I wish. Someplace to get my feelings out when it’s needed. I might go into town in the next couple of days and see if I can find a nice journal somewhere

It feels nice to do this, feels like I’m talking to someone almost. Although no one will see this and I’ll never get a response it’s nice yk

I’m typing this on my phone and my thumb hurts really bad for no reason 😭

Anyways I’m gonna leave it here, might go off and cry or I might go try and sleep who knows. Also happy late Christmas 🎄😁

Buh bye 🤭🥰

#Spotify

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leewonkyeom · 6 months

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Omg wait that's actually a really good way of coming up with usernames! I kinda figured out that won-kyeom part and I was not sure about the Lee being dino because y'know there are a lot of lees in k-pop now I'll just combine k-pop idols names whenever I need to come up with new usernames!

Naurr chan 😭 but i kinda agree i think most of the carats who are in their 20s mostly see chan as their lil bro?? (Atleast the ones I have met) Or literally a child cuz most fanfics and smaus I've read about cheol and hannie they are either basically chans parents or they just bully him 💀. but I have to admit he's kinda bias wrecking Nonie these days (but he could never replace jeonghan in my heart T^T) BUT SHUA OMG he's a real fucking threat to both of us cause he did the impossible: bias wrecking Jeonghan. Like stop pls 😭😭

You have irl carat friend 😭😭 you're luckyyyy and omg comparing you to dk when he does something awful is something a friend would do lmao but hey atleast she's comparing you to the one and only SEOKMIN 🤩 a win is a win! my army friend (who also watches svts stuff sometimes) said me and hannie are really similar (y'know when we cause problems on purpose and cheat in games...match made in heaven fr 😍)

OMG YES PLS A SPIDERMAN AU 🛐 please write it if you could I'm on my knees begging (if you aren't busy ofc) i feel like this au would suit Nonie a lot (for obvious reasons) he kinda fits the loser (affectionate) nerdy Peter Parker vibes like him being the Spiderman is going to be the death of me and hear me out i think Jeonghan would also thrive in this au but he's Gwen Stacy/ Mary Jane and the reader is the spidercreature 😼 who else do you think fits in this au?

I get not watching movies often i also sort of re watch old movies again and again but If you watch the movies i recommended with your dad watch Chungking express! Fallen angels kinda has a suggestive scene (nothing too crazy but still)

Ahh thank you <33 Ida is also such a cute name!! My name is sort of a reference to the character Jolyne Cujoh

like i made this wayyy back in 2014 or something😭 and i think my og name was ohbyundae, for sehun, baekhyun and chen😭 and i've just kinda stuck with it for kpop usernames since korean names are so easy to combine and i suck at coming up with names lmao. but yesss!! it could obviously be jihoon or dk as well, but chan is who i had in mind

nooo i'm 21 and i love chan sm😭 like when they debutes i didn't think he was that hot, since he was so young. but nowadays???? man that man is ON FIRE. i'm still not over the back it up performance😭😭 literally fighting people for his pcs as well cause they're all so good. i have a few fics (wips) with chan as brother figure, but only because he's such a good brother😭😭

shua is the bane of my existence atm😭 love and hate it sm😭😭 cause he is literally perfect

well, i made her slip into the diamond life, but thirst traps on tiktoks were a lot of help as well😭 i think the shadow clip of mingyu and cheol in the rain is what got her in the end. but yess, i feel really lucky😭

exactly😌😌 i see myself in him as well so i get it. but omggg getting compared to hannie is the dream😭😭 like love him so much, that is peak !!

the way i went to my notes to write it down after i replied to your last ask... and wrote that vernon should be spider-man👀👀 but lnao shouldn't reader be a gwen stacy/mj version😭😭 i was thinking i might do a full on avengers au, with all of svt having some sort of super-power but we'll see. i have a lot of other ficd lined up first😭😭 but i would love to discuss it some more !!

the way i could straight up watch porn in front of my dad i do not think he would care 😭😭 like i'm from scandinavia so sex and whatever is really natural for us (although i only got through one episode of sex education with him in the room, mostly for my own sanity) but thank you for the heads up !!

thank you♡♡ ida is just my irl nickname, i didn't even think about coming up with an alias😭 and yes!!! omg i love jojo !!!!

#⭐️mutuals #🐱jolene

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mangabacaxi · 7 months

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i guess i will never date anyone. ever. because im just too annoying like i think someday i will just meet someone in the train like randomly we will talk and realize we have so much in common we will slowly fall in love and everything will be so as if we living a romcom i mean i will never ever talk w someone online i just hateee it i just like the talking stage and thats all and i always feel so fake and insecure cause like they won't know the real me just my online self and they won't know how i look like irl and will get disappointed and all of this just makes me so tired for some reason so i see the only way im dating someone is if i first meet them in person like a friend becoming a lover or someone from class etc and i just know it wont happen cause i never try to make new friendships or to even talk w someone knew so.. i am really insecure lmao i mean i wouldn't fall for me Ever im just not it so i will never hit on someone even when i want it soo much and maybe that would become something more but im too scared to take the first step and no one has ever talked to me nor anything so i supposed im not interesting.. which is kinda good if i am as awful as i think i am its good im sort of invisible ? dont even know if im making sense just that i will never date and i know that for sure and maybe its better this way i don't even know if i am in a good place rn to be in a relationship lets start there that's why i just can't force anything its just not it it needs to be natural slowly so i will be prepared if it happens i also dont want to date just to date idk i wished i had someone like someone i could call anytime and they would go to a museum date w me but it doesn't have to be a lover you know i always think about it how i wish i had a friend that lived closed to me nd had as much free time as i do and didn't have many other friends so we could hang out all the time idk just go to the plaza and take some pics or go to the beach on a random thursday and to feel she also wants it because i feel whenever im calling a friend to go out im pointing a gun in their heads idkk i also think im boring and they hate the places i suggest (we always end up going to the same place(s)) i feel i might be narcissist cause what i actually want is a clone someone w the same interests i have and that would do whenever i wanted like i would also love to do the things she loves if i think what i miss is a sibling???? all of this could be me nd my sibling but since im an only child i will always have this void emptiness inside me as no matter if i have good friends and people around me i will always feel somethings missing i remember when i was a kid i never asked to have siblings to my parents cause i didn't know adulthood would be this lonely i mean of course i was just a kid i was happy w just xuxa music and some barbies to play i always played by myself and i kinda had fun on my own guess thas why to this day i talk too much w myself been doing this for agess also remember i just used to dance and sing and do everything alone i learned how to alone since i was little so that became part of my personality i guess i always loved my alone time just me in my room sometimes doing nothing but know that's not enough anymore i Need people i need to feel to heat to have someone i know will be there for me someone to just watch my adventures w superman on a friday night ..... i truly will never recover lol this infinite loop back again in my bed w no intention to ever get up

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drizzileiscool · 8 months

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just a vent. read if you want, ignore if you don't, whatever.

tbh my life just feels kinda empty rn. I do literally nothing all day except for playing on my switch. I don't want to go out because I there's just nothing to do in my town where I live, i have no friends that I could hang out irl with, and even if I did, it's still too hot because of fucking global warming (thanks, everyone who caused this! /sarcastic). school is starting in 7 days for me, and I'm kinda conflicted about whether this is good or not. on one hand, I hate half of the people at school. on the other hand, I hate all of my brothers at home. sure, I have a few friends at school, but I barely ever talk to them, and as I mentioned in my previous vent, they aren't exactly well liked people.

I guess what im trying to say here is, I don't think there's anything in my life that makes me genuinely happy (asides from all the people I've met on here, you guys are awesome!)

I don't mean to alarm anyone by saying this next thing, but there were times where I've genuinely considered... that word that starts with s and ends with d that I don't feel comfortable mentioning. but don't worry, as of right now, I have no intention of actually doing it anytime this year.

the reason I've been feeling this way is because of my brothers constantly fighting over literally everything, most of the people I know irl being transphobes, as well as most of the things I've mentioned previously in this vent.

anyways, thanks for reading this vent. I try not to vent too much online, hell I've only ever mentioned being.... you know the word.... once before on twitter. this is only the second time I've publicly talked about it.

again, I have no intention of actually doing it this year (and hopefully I don't ever do it). but if for some reason, I do it, then i just want to say one thing:

I genuinely loved meeting and interacting with everyone I've met online. on tumblr, and on twitter (unless you are luka. fuck you luka. and also that one freak who posted a picture of a piplup being r-worded in the replies of one of my twitter posts. I fucking hate them why are haven't they been suspended yet it's been 4 fucking months since I've reported them and the tweet why the fuck haven't they been banned yet twitter fucking do something for once please. I literally just looked up their username and the account hasn't been deleted and the tweet is still up)

anyways, that last segment got kinda dark. sorry about that brief traumadump. have this picture of a sobble so I can at least try to end this vent on a positive note

#not drizzile

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teethinmywounds · 2 years

Text

i thought these urges were gone. a few days ago i was two months clean, but all of the sudden everything feels like it's January again. I can't go a day without wanting to cut, and sometimes I actually do. I imagine grabbing my blades and just slicing my arm to shreds. Sometimes I want to cut so much blood is dripping down my arm, but other times I just want something small to relieve my stress. I've tried other places, but it doesn't have the same feeling.

I never actually do anything to my arm, though. Mostly because its the summer, but I also have wisdom tooth removal surgery soon and also a doctors well check for some local "disability thing". I'd talk about how much I hate being/being called disabled but honestly I just don't have the energy for that. I'm more focused on how I fucking relapsed a few days ago and how that's causing my mental health to get so bad I'm considering a "painless suicide method" I saw online.

I can't take things anymore. I really just can't. I always say how I'd be able to handle things if I pushed myself but I'm just lying. I'm lying until I actually believe it, and lucky for me I have a lot of time left until I'm alone in the world. I probably won't move out for a while, and if I do, I have some money saved so I can pay for an apartment while finding a job. But that's such a small part of being alone and everything else horrifies me. I've never had a real job, nor do I currently want one, but when I do what am I supposed to do? I'm very socially awkward so a job working directly with customers probably wouldn't be great.

And speaking of working directly with people... college. University. Whatever the hell kinda schooling I do after high school. I know I'll have no friends, and that's alright I guess. But I probably won't have the "college experience" of partying and meeting people and all that stereotypical shit. Just like with high school, I'll probably just go home after classes, study a bit, and work online for the rest of the day. Maybe cry a little before I sleep too. Then repeat. Every once in a while I'll probably do something fun outside of my normal routine but that's also pretty typical for me.

I think my life will never change. I'll never get better and I'll never change my stupid, boring, depressing routine. I feel stuck. I feel ill. Is life even worth it anymore? I don't want to continue living like this, but it's almost as if I have to. It never changes. After so many years it hasn't changed unless I include adding "relapse every few months" into it. My life fucking sucks. I barely have anything to live for.

I don't remember the last time I was held. I've never had any sort of romance that's not me and someone else behind a screen but that's probably because no one irl actually likes me. People make jokes about being into me, sure, but no one at school besides one friend has actually had a crush on me, and that ended really fast. Once in seventeen years. What a fucking joke. I'm just some loser, aren't I? I can barely even hold a conversation and I'm not pretty enough for anyone to be physically attracted to me. There's literally no good qualities of me. Nothing. I have nothing redeemable about me. No wonder people don't like me.

No wonder i've never held hands or even gotten close to kissing someone. No wonder most of the sexual experiences I've had were negative, and no wonder 99.9% of them were my coked up friend sending me rape threats behind a fucking screen. I'll never forgive him for that btw. No wonder everyone avoids me. I'm loud, annoying, and embarrassing to be around. I'm either too loud or too quiet. My voice is either too animated and I sound like an idiot or it's so monotone I sound like I "have an attitude" (according to my mom).

There's always something wrong with me. I never do anything right. It's been like that my entire life, and I can't take it anymore. I think that's a good reason to want to kill myself, right?

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theinvisibledoodlewizard · 2 years

Note

Blorbo Make Many Happiness Blorbo Is Good Person And Good Blorbo

*flops*

You have no idea how much I needed this…..

Thank you.

Rant below btw I’m just- yeah…. You don’t have to read it…. You can just keep scrolling.

Just got off the call with the therapist…… and ick…… I’m not sure if it’s a good fit…. I tend to hate the first session? But this…. Was odd. Another moment of I know I’m Internet scum and that’s all I’ll ever be…… I can’t pretend to be normal…. And I can’t change that….. I fidget. I fiddle. It’s not wrong to flap. It’s not wrong to feel a little sad sometimes. And to be at peace with that. I’ve had sooooo many people leave because of that…. No irl friends at all at the moment for just that reason. Everyone thinks I’m too weird, cause I don’t fit in their glass jar. You can’t “fix” me….. cause this is normal…. That’s just me…… you take it or leave it. And so many have left…. So so many…. She was talking like some of this was “fixable” but I don’t want her to fix that. And the parts I wanted her to fix she brushed aside…… which does kinda happen I guess, nearly every time. They reroute pretty quickly…. But I’m always so scared they won’t…… *sigh* anyway….. enough of my rambling. Sorry about that.

*hugs* thank you for that ask. I needed it so bad.

#asks #augh #bad stuff #thank you anon #I needed this

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amazingphilza · 3 years

Text

twitchcon :: cc!multiple x reader

fluff , platonic , gender neutral ! some mcyt headcanons if you were to attend twitchcon w them

cc’s included in order: tommyinnit , tubbo , ranboo , wilbur soot , philza , technoblade

cw: kinda lengthy for the minors (i think), not as much for the hags LMAO /hj

tommyinnit

this man is so excited to be at his first twitchcon & being able to hang out with all his best friends makes it a hundred times better

when he isn’t at a panel or doing meet & greets, he’s dragging you everywhere to see the whole convention center (clingyinnit)

he is just so at awe despite this not being his first convention to attend

you’d be surprised he gets tired pretty quickly & stops over to the partner lounge

you both rest for a bit against a wall in a pretty packed hallway despite it being an exclusive area to twitch partners

every time a famous streamer walks by he will yell it out and record it then vlog your reaction, even if they’re surrounded with bodyguards & trying to get to another place quickly

he’d zoom in his camera to their face at a horrible angle and be like

“oh my god it is THE ninja. ninja famous fortnite player, HELLO.”

but he gets completely ignored

then the camera pans out to you, still really zoomed in that the capture is blurry

“ninjainnit?”

“EH?”

tommy is so confused, forgetting the bit ninja did on his twitter where he renamed himself ‘ninjainnit’ for a split second

okay tommy isn’t that athletic but he will chase you and the rest of your group down a hallway if he had to

he’d probably find a toy gun from the artist alley/seller booths and shoot you and wilbur with it

but if tommy stumbles across any of the dream team, it’s about to be minecraft manhunt but irl

and he will def play his stream music while walking or smth when he’s bored (or trying to jump dream & sapnap)

** DO DO DO DO MANHUNT MUSIC **

oh my god,, now thinking about it he’s probably the one to open like random doors of empty rooms and steal stuff while you film him

like he will take a random empty glass, a bunch of pens, a freebie t-shirt, everything he sees he takes with him and you’re just panic

“tommy we’re literally not supposed to be here, and i’m stuck here filming you. it’s surely a felony in action”

“well, it’s their fault for leaving the doors open! plus this is great content. who’s the dirty crime boy now, HM?”

you’d tell wilbur about this and he’d scold tommy and threaten him with the same pen tommy stole

tommy probably would also drag you some weird event happening outside twitchcon along with tubbo and ranboo

“pokimane is giving out free pizza to everyone if we go to this one restaurant down the street!”

“we are literally gonna get bombarded. have you forgot you’re like three of twitch’s top streamers? i’d rather pay for all of our meals than try getting free pizza from pokimane against all her other fans”

“DEAL! let’s go to five guys then!”

you unfortunately end up paying for all 3 of their meals and picking on their food instead of buying your own

even with all of them making way more money than you, they still happen to be cheapskates

OR tommy will end up getting a burrito from a taco truck, immediately making a mess of himself, then proceed to complain how messy the food is to eat despite knowing what he was getting himself into before even ordering

“shit my clothes are all ruined now!”

“well that’s your fault you got a burrito, as if it’s your first time having one”

“i mean the food is good, i’m not complaining about that but i don’t think it’s that good that it’s worth costing my red and white shirt, im just saying”

tubbo

same with tommy, he is so excited

i don’t know why but i imagine him overpacking his suitcase and you making fun of him for it

anyway tubbo has his irl backpack on and streaming EVERYTHING

probably spends a lot of time at a bunch of different booths, checking out all the pointless gadgets he could buy for his stream

you’re the one to stop him from doing so

“TUBBO IT’S LITERALLY OVER TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS, STOP. DONT GET IT.”

“WHY NOT?? IT WILL BE COOL FOR MY STREAM AND I WILL USE IT EVERYDAY”

“okay theoretically speaking, how the hell are you going to even bring it home? which—let me remind you—is across the country for you and not to mention the giant ocean separating america and the uk”

“free ship-pang!!!”

“i hate to break it to you tubbo but there is no way you can get free shipping on a FIVE FOOT PC. it’s nearly as tall as you! what are you even gonna do on it, hack the government???”

the arguments are all lighthearted but eventually you give in and let him splurge over a thousand dollars in different devices he claimed he “needed”

i could honestly see him visiting the beaches in san diego and going for a swim or even renting out a boat to use for a bit :D

also he’d bring benson along with him and taking a bunch of scenic photos with it in them

i have a feeling he’s the type to schedule a spontaneous meet & greet because he was bored & gets in trouble for causing a mob in a certain part of the convention

he’s like “oh god, i did not expect this many of the bois to show up AHAHAH oops”

tubbo would def pull a lilypichu and bring his melodica or ukulele and play themes while following random people/cosplayers

at the end of the day, you’d find his bag just stuffed with crap he either got for free or bought in the convention

“how did you get all that stuff? i was with you all day??? and it’s only the first day of the convention, hello?? it looks like you’ve been collecting as if twitchcon has went on for a week already!”

“HA i have my ways, do not underestimate my powers”

lani would probably tag along for the vacation honestly

like whenever someone comes up to her giving her gifts/asking for pics, you and tubbo would tease her about how famous she is

and i dunno but something about tubbo just gives me this amusement park energy and going to legoland and spending the whole day there since it’s near by and because he can

ranboo

he is like a beacon in a sea of people, that’s it .

i honestly just see him causing as much chaos as the other two

ranboo would probably like take someone’s camera whether if they’re streaming or if it’s for the vlog, hold it up high, and point the camera directly above someone’s face

it did not matter how tall you were and if you had platform shoes on, ranboo was a skyscraper next to you

“HAHAH this is how i see you from this height, this is funny”

then he shows you the vid of the recording of him getting like an aerial view of your face

like you see your nose and all your pores and just overall a bad angle to be captured in

“OH GOD RANBOO DELETE THAT, ITS HORRIFIC”

i dunno why but i feel like he’d jump scare every person that was cosplaying as his minecraft character from behind for some reason

“BOO!”

“ranboo i’m not even remotely dressed as your skin—”

“don’t worry i’m practicing it’s fineee”

“you’re like the height of 2 people combined, i think you will be fine as is. you even intimidated the security at the front”

i feel like if he had his own panel he’d like pull up some undertale song in the middle of it and scare all the people in the crowd

“lore but in real life”

probably would get some matching keepsake with you from artist alley/the booths!

i could imagine like a cute keychain or smth :D

i feel like he’s the type to like randomly volunteer as a participant for those mini events in a booth thinking it would be funny but regrets it the moment he’s on stage

after introductions the presenter is like “okay ranboo, you will be given a random meme prompt above your head you won’t be able to see until after and you will have to make a random face to compliment it!”

and you can just tell by his facial expression he’s just thinking

oh god what have i gotten myself into

what is this game? who came up with this idea?

you’d laugh at him the whole time, even after he’s off the stage and finished with that small fiasco

“that was horrible. never again.”

“AHAHAH IT LOOKED SO AWKWARD YOU DID GREAT”

“I CROSSED MY EYES AND PUFFED MY CHEEKS BECAUSE I COULDNT THINK OF ANY OTHER FACIAL EXPRESSION. THE PROMPT ENDING UP BEING ‘WHEN TWITTER CANCELS YOU FOR USING PLASTIC STRAWS.’ AND WHEN I SAW WHAT IT WAS—LITERALLY WHAT KIND OF GAME–”

“I GOT PICTURES AND EVERYTHING ITS PERFECT AHAHAHAH”

wilbur soot

honestly with wilbur it’s slightly more chill

he already experienced twitchcon before so he’s just glad to see his friends again after so long

insists that you explore the convention yourself rather than sticking with him the whole time but you do anyway!

wilbur would probably have like a mini concert and gets you front row seats with the rest of the group

but that doesn’t mean before it that you’re not helping him set up

“y/n please– my amp is so heavy, i can carry it”

“don’t worry! i’m strong” :D

and musically talented or not, he will probably bring you and the rest of his friends up to stage to just vibe and sing a bunch of random acoustic songs

it’s not like some big concert hall stage,, i imagine more like a casual thing w a slightly higher platform from the ground yk?

after spending a long day at the convention he’d also bring everyone across the city to la jolla or smth !

you’d all probably have dinner there and chill, watching the pretty sunset

“this place is really pretty but oh my god im gonna lose my breath hiking up this stupid hill, please slow down”

and wilbur is like ??? because he’s completely fine with his long legs and everything

“just walk faster”

“no, you walk slower”

AHAHAH and for context traversing through la jolla by walking around the town is a bit hard since it’s basically on a bunch of hills (walking up from the beach to a restaurant actually is actually sm work, trust me ive been there)

wilbur honestly doesn’t spend that much time in the actual convention center, he’s probably sightseeing a bit of san diego with you instead

but i could imagine him staying at the tabletop games area playing dnd or smth

“c’mon y/n, come join!”

“uhh i’m not sure, i’m not the best at roleplay and...”

“it’s fine don’t worry!”

he’d pull you in with him and end up enjoying yourself even if it was your first time

and if you’re of age, you’d be wilbur’s +1 at the twitch partner party and make sure mans doesn’t too drunk

if it’s not too late in the night, you two would chill at the beach after the party

it’s just a nice, calming moment after all the loud music mixed with hundreds of conversations at the party

also something about like taking polaroids pictures with wilbur just seems to go hand in hand for me

i’m not sure why but you will be taking lots of pics with wilbur for sure (not necessarily you both in the photo, but of sceneries as well while you’re together!)

philza

literally a dad on vacation with his children, it doesn’t matter how old you are

need sunscreen? surprisingly has it

want a snack? probably has a small granola bar somewhere in his bag

but same with wilbur, he’s more chill like this isn’t his first time at twitchcon

omg he’d def bring you to the artist alley and just buy a bunch of fanart and stuff tho

“oh wow look phil, someone made a giant poster of the dream smp and shit!”

“holy shit that’s so good what the fuck!”

and he’s like rushing to that artist’s stall to buy a poster or print

idk why but phil seems like the person to know where he’s going all over the convention center

he probably had a copy of the directory map but yk

you just have trouble reading it bc all the signs seem to be misleading to you

nothing really crazy screams out to me of what phil would do at twitchcon besides like go to a few events, spend a bunch of time w his friends, etc

HOWEVER i could see him wasting a lot of his time at the gaming area and testing new games that are currently on the works of being developed

like “woah y/n, this vr game is sick, you should try it out!”

ngl i feel like phil would plan a visit to disneyland for everyone, like he gets the tickets and everything but once you’re at the park it’s free reign, y’all go everywhere with not much of a plan

the minors would try to cheap out phil and pay less than the others even though everyone else fully paid phil back and everything LMAO

ok but if he’s feeling nice, phil will buy everyone cotton candy/pretzels :D

and if you’re not hungry, he’d at least get you a mickey balloon

HE WILL HAVE MATCHING MICKEY EARS WITH MUMZA YES .

ALSO STAYING FOR THE FIREWORKS THOUGH OMG

just in general, best idea phil had for taking everyone to disneyland :D

technoblade

surprisingly techno is really calm despite this being like one of his first conventions

but when he finally settles in and gets comfortable, he’s showing the same energy

if you’re playfully yelling, he will yell back

however there’s still those awkward moments that are unavoidable

idk why but something about him makes me think that if you feel tired and want to go back to your hotel room, he’d go with you just to make sure you get there safe

he probably also needs a break from being around everyone else for a moment too LMAO

i could also see him searching far and wide in the artist alley for fanart of himself AHAHAH

walking around with him in the convention consists of someone yelling “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD” every 5 minutes but you don’t really mind

something about him makes me think he’ll be forced into playing minecraft twitch rivals along with the rest of sbi or smth

and he’s like “oh god, i’m going to be on stage? and people will see my face while i play minecraft?”

“i’m sure it will be fun!”

“i mean i like being competitive and feeding my ego, but i’m not that desperate.. well”

do i imagine techno getting easily tired of being surrounded by a bunch of people and just going back to his hotel room with phil and watching some anime with him? yes

and will you watch even if you have no idea what’s going on? also yes

i feel like after a while of you guys hanging out in techno’s room, the rest of the gang will just slowly join you guys

like eventually everyone is there; you, techno, phil, wilbur, niki, tommy, tubbo, ranboo, etc

and techno is like “wha– where did you guys come from?” because his room is basically packed

and niki could be like “oh we can go if you want!”

then techno just insists that she’s fine “but who let the child get in?” clearly implying tommy’s presence

“OI!!”

eventually techno gives in with the company and someone gets a bunch of board games to play from the front desk

lots of yelling and laughing for sure

when it becomes late at night, techno is like half conscious, you’re on your phone, wilbur is staring out the window & enjoying the night view, tommy is passed out on the couch from tiredness, tubbo & ranboo is still wide awake quietly talking, and phil & niki are helping clean up the giant mess

eventually everyone brings themselves to go back to their own room except tommy who won’t budge

you give techno a look and he immediately understands what you were thinking

he rushes to the bathroom to fill up two cups with ice cold water and handed one to you

“on three?”

“okay.. one”

“two”

“three!”

then both of you pour the water on the poor child’s face

he jolts awake and saying a string of curses

“what the fuck techno? y/n too?”

“get out” is the only think techno says that before tommy rushes out with his stuff and you leave right after

a/n: i honestly can’t wait until conventions open up again though,, phil and ranboo were talking about vidcon earlier and omg.

also i kinda want to take in tommy requests but i’m not sure??? it would be both cc! and c! x gn!reader for sure tho. i love writing him to bits but who knows, maybe i’ll only stick to my ideas,, or not. send in a tommy x reader request, might do it, might not, but he’s my fav cc if you can’t tell so! :D (i dunno if i will keep it strictly platonic, but unrequited crushes and stuff are fun to write hehe,,)

edit: let’s hope i fixed all the grammar mistakes LMAO we love writing late at night :) /s /hj

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sidemenyesplease · 3 years

Note

simon angst with a happy fluffy ending maybe?? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

Driver License - Simon

Type - angst? (Not really ‘cause I suck

writting it) into fluff , swears

Warnings - starts of with some angst

A/n - this is based on the song ‘Driver License’ by Olivia Rodrigo so I recommend you listen to it / the text in pink is the lyrics from the song x

Posted : 28.2.21

(Y/n’s pov)

“Hey, where’s Simon?” I asked the boys when I walked into the house where all the boys (including both of the Cal’s) where there expect for Simon.

“Oh he’s with that girl he meet on tinder” Ethan told me making me pause.

“Oh” I bit my lip, he was the one I wanted to tell the news to the most, i mewn the rest of the boys are all my closest friends but Simon is who I’m closest with out of them and we always tell everything to each other,

Or used to.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he really likes her” Ethan smiled at me as I seat in between the Cal’s.

Ouch.

That hurts to hear, yes I have a crush on Simon but been to affaid to tell him. “Yeah she’s pretty cool” JJ commented.

“Yeah, and hot” Freezy laughed making me look down and play with my sleeves, yes I’ve seen pictures of her.

“You ok?” Lux whispered to me while everyone’s attention was focoued on the tv, he was the only one who knew about my crush since I knew I could trust him not to tell anyone.

I just nodded, even though him and me both knew I wasn’t, I was exited to tell Simon the news.

“I got my driver license last week” I whisper to Lux seeing his eyes widen and he smiled over at me, since I was to busy from last week I haven’t seen the boys yet to tell boys and was going to tell them all today, now that I have free time.

But Simon wasn’t here, the one I wanted to tell the most.

Just like we always talked about

'Cause you were so excited for me

I was looking forward to tell him the most because he is my best friend, and actualy the one who helped me before my test and always believed in me.

And we planned to go on long drives togther, because he knew how much I loved going out for a drive at night and he said he’d always come with me.

“I’ll be back soon I’m just going to the shop” I announced as I got up from my seat and grabbed my phone from the table.

“Anyone want anything?” I asked , seeing everyone saying know , and that they where fine.

“I’ll be back” I told them, as the nodded I went and left quickly, closing the door behind me I walked to my car and out the keys in and sighed.

To finally drive up to your house

But today I drove through the suburbs

Crying 'cause you weren't around

I felt bad that I only wanted to go to the boys house to see Simon, so I decided to get out, on my own, for a bit.

Once I finshed going to the shop I went back into my car and started to drive back, I’ve only been out for 10 minuites.

Before I started to drive, I got out my drink and looked out the window and was in my own thoughts.

And you're probably with that blonde girl

Who always made me doubt

She's so much older than me

I hate being jealous, it’s not Simons fault either, I wish I told him sooner but I just didn’t want to ruin our frinship incase he didn’t like me back in that way which is more than likely, even more than ever now, that his with her, who seems to be his ideal type.

I’m not usally the one to get jealous over girls but She's everything I'm insecure about.

Felling my phone buzzing on my leg made me flinch a little, looking down to it to see it was a text from Lux.

‘Just making sure you’re ok, Simons here (on his own) btw x’

I read , smiling a little when I read him asking if I’m ok, it’s nice feeling like at lest someone cares.

‘Yeah I’m omw back’

I texted back quickly and set my phone down so I could start driving.

“Who’s car is that?” Harry asked when I walked back into the house while he was looking out the window and finaly realised I was droven here and not by Lux or Simon.

“it’s mine” I mumbled and went back to sit beside the Cal’s, and spotted Simon sitting across from me and look at me.

“Since when can you drive?” Questioned JJ making everyone’s attention be on me.

“Uh, since last week, I was going to tell you todsy actually” I said, seeing Lux smile proudly as he threw his arm around me as everyone looked at me suprised but proud.

“You never told me” Simon sounded offended since we tell each other everything.

“I was busy last week and you weren’t here eariler” I replied back to him swing his face change a little.

“Oh yeah, how was the date?” Ethan smiled as he asked Simon making me roll my eyes and lean bsck on the sofa.

“It was fine” Simon shrugged making Ethan give him a look confused as if he expected Simon to say more about it or sound more happy.

“We’re going on another date on Thursday” Simon announced out making Ethan smile again.

“This Thursday?” I asked as he got my full attention now.

“Yeah” he confirmed to me making me look down again and play with my shelve which is a habit of mine.

“Oh, I thought we had plans to go out that day” I said softly, also seeing Lux looking at me to make sure I was ok with him knowing I’d be hurt.

Simon never misses our planes or never skips out on them, even if his really busy he used to give me time.

“But that’s fun have fun with the smoking hot girl” I faked smiled at him before he could commented, and rested my head on Lux’s shoulder.

“Sorry I must of forgotten, I’ve been so caught up on her” Simon frowned at me after my reaction.

“Oh she’s coming over here now by the way, if that’s ok with you guys?” Simon asked making me sight softly , knowing that everyone won’t mind and will say yes , and my response wouldn’t matter.

“Hey, could you take me for a drive?” I want to see how good you are” Lux asked, with him also known I’d want to get out of here when she was here, I didn’t want to be in the same room as her and Simon.

“Of course” I smiled at Lux, thankful I told him about my crush other wise I’d be stuck here and thankful for having him helping me out, anotber reason I told Lux.

“Do you not want to meet her?” Simon asked, thinking I’d want to since he has let me meet all his other friends, and his meet all of my friends.

“Uh maybe another day” I lied to him, never wanting to meet her in real life after seeeing her photos, while I’m jealous enjoy just seeing them I could imagine making a fool of myself meeting her irl.

“Oh, ok” Simon softly spoke, I could tell he felt a bit usset since this is the first friend of his I haven’t meet yet.

“We will be going now, see y’all later” Lux spoke for me, grabbing my hand as he dragged me outside, before anything else could happen.

“Thanks” I breathed out as soon as we got out. “No bother, I didn’t want to see her either, she looks fake as fuck in those photos” Lux said making me laugh at his honesty.

“You really want to see my driving though?” I asked making sure, think he was just helping me with using that exause, but seeing him nod his head making me smile and walked up to my car and unlocking it, letting him in.

“Where do you want to go?” I asked him as we both buckled out seatbelts.

“Anywhere” he shrugged.

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs

“Ok let’s go” I spoke, thinking of places to drive as I started my car up again, but still having Simon at the back of my head, trying to get rid of thinking of him, but I don’t think I could.

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

And all my friends are tired

“I miss him” I mumbled seeing Lux give me a look, wanting me to stop talking about him.

Of hearing how much I miss you, but

“I know you do, so let’s just have fun togher today” Lux told me, wanting to help me, making me smile and I finaly started to drive out of the drive way.

I kinda feel sorry for them

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do

“Where we going to?” Lux asked while he out his window down.

“The beach” I said seeing him nod, but also without him knowing it was mine and Simons go to.

Today I drove through the suburbs

And pictured I was driving home to you

“I hope she’s still not here” Lux spoke as we got back out of the car two hours later and where back to the house after having a walk across the beach since it was a nice day.

I agreed whilst we both walked up to the door and opened it to get back in.

“Y/n, can I talk to you?” Was the first thing I heard being asked when we where in, from Simon. I looked around seeing the girl not here anymore, thankfully.

“Alone” Simon we continued after he saw me nod.

“Uh yeah sure” I answered slowly, seeing him getting of the sofa as Lux went to sit back down he grabbed my hand and lead me up to his room.

“I cancled the date” Simon told me once he closed his door.

“Why?” I asked suprised, looking at him confused since I though he really liked her, so why would he cancle it?.

“Becuase I realised I liked someone else and not her” he told me.

“Oh” was all I could get out, grate even less a chance to be with him, but why was he only telling me?.

“It’s you who I like” he spoke quickly, making me barley catch what he was saying, but I was able to which made me look at him with wide eyes while he was looking at me nervously.

“I- I like you to” I replied honestly seeing him smile brightly and being me into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry for ignoring you when I was with her” he mumbled into my back.

“It’s ok” I sighed , just being happy I had him back and that having it turn out he liked me.

#sidemen #simon minter #miniminter #simon minter imagine #sidemen imagine #sidemen x reader

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