#ceos are more evil than literal devil gods | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raeynbowboi · 2 years

Text

How to Play as Karen Walker in DnD 5e

Today, we’re doing something a little different by building Karen Walker from Will & Grace. Karen defies my normal logic for doing a character build. She doesn’t have any powers, she doesn’t fight anyone, nor is she superhuman in any form. She’s a character from a 90s sitcom. She’s about as mundane as you can get. But we’re still going to build her, because I said so. So, for those who don’t know, Karen is the vapid, rich, drug-addicted, alcoholic, gold-digging socialite wife of Stanley Walker, CEO of Walker INC. She’s also the assistant of Grace Adler, Owner of Grace Adler Designs, a small start-up interior design company.

Karen is a standard Human. However, a running gag in the show is that nobody knows how old she is, she refuses to tell anyone, and when Grace asks Karen’s maid what Karen’s real age is, Rosario grabs Grace by the ear and refuses to let her go until she promises to never ask that again. As such, we’ll label Karen as a Variant Human because the joke of her being older than she seems is such a prevailing running gag.

For her background, Karen used to be forced to run scams by her mother when she was little. As a result, I would make Karen a Charlatan, giving her proficiency with a Disguise Kit, Deception, and Sleight of Hand.

In terms of Alignment, Karen is Neutral Evil. Her alignment is made the clearest in the episode where Grace wants to expand her business, and Karen offers to loan her the money for an expansion. However, she forces Grace to give her a presentation to persuade her to give her the loan, and afterward, tells her no and traces out of the office like nothing happened. But, when she’s stuck in the company elevator, Grace demands for Karen to explain why she made Grace jump through all those hoops just to shoot her down. Karen admits that it would be fiscally irresponsible for Grace to expand right now. Due to the state of the economy, Grace is actually better off in a smaller business. But, unwilling to crush Grace’s dreams, Karen wanted to just make it seem like she was being unreasonable and be the bad guy to spare Grace’s feelings. There’s plenty of other times though when Karen makes it extremely obvious that she’s an evil character, but this moment helps show us that there are lines she won’t cross, and hurting her friends is one of those lines. From helping Jack find his biological father, to signing up with Will’s law firm so he can keep his job, or doing her best to help Grace get through a break-up, Karen proves time and again that while she is a vain gold-digging socialite who would sell a child into indentured servitude for scuffing her fur coat, she’s also a true friend who will go to bat for the ones she cares about.

WARLOCK THE FIEND PATRON (Pact of the Chain)

While there are no demons actually present in Will & Grace, it’s sort of a recurring gag that Karen is the devil, made a deal with the devil, the devil owes her favor, she could get God to cry, etc. From an off-hand remark about selling her soul to live forever, to Will insinuating that she’d burst into flames if she walked into a church, Karen is hardly a beacon of morality. She was also born with little to nothing, as what little we see of her childhood home makes it clear she was lower middle class at best. It was only by marrying Stanley Walker that Karen escaped the life she had before. Karen often likens her marriage to a series of trades: if she gives Stan a little lovey dovey, she gets a pretty necklace or a summer home in the Bahamas. Almost transactional. Don’t get it twisted, Karen does love her husband, even misses him at times and chooses him over wealthier suitors. That being said, Karen’s general characterization feels like a DnD counterpart of Karen likely would have sold her soul to an Archfiend for a rich husband and power, and just so happened to end up loving the account holder just as much, if not more-so than the bank account itself. You could even go a step further by making her husband a literal Fiend in disguise. Which, considering Stanley ended up being investigated by the FBI and found guilty of his crimes, that’s not entirely out of character. Karen has plenty of hired staff, so we’ll give her Pact of the Chain so that she can have an Imp that serves her and can talk back to her. After all, that’s why Rosario is so dear to her. She takes Karen’s verbal jabs and gives them right back.

BUILD INFORMATION

Name: Karen Walker Race: Variant Human (+1 CHA, +1 DEX) Background: Charlatan Alignment: Neutral Evil Class: Fiend Warlock (20)

STATS STR 8 DEX 14 CON 18 INT 8 WIS 10 CHA 20

SAVING THROWS STR -1 DEX +2 CON +10 INT -1 WIS +6 CHA +11

SKILLS Arcana (+5) Deception (+11) Intimidation (+11) Sleight of Hand (+8)

FEATS

Magic Initiate: Bard (Friends, Vicious Mockery, Silvery Barbs) or (cure wounds) Shadow Touched (Inflict Wounds, Invisibility) (+1 CHA) Resilience - CON (+1 CON) Elemental Adept - Fire

ELDRITCH INVOCATIONS

02 Agonizing Blast 02 Eldritch Mind 05 Gift of the Ever-Living Ones 07 Investment of the Chain Master 09 Tomb of Levistus 12 Sign of Ill Omen 15 Chains of Carceri 18 Shroud of Shadow

KAREN’S SPELLS

As Karen doesn’t actually use spells in the show, I based her spell list on her personality and what would speak the most to her. A mixture of spells that give her servants, means to forcefully maintain control over those under her command, and means to get rid of anyone who steps out of line. Everything else lets her either verbally abuse the people in her life, siphon the youth and beauty out of others around her, or just use some demonic magic to deal some damage.

C Eldritch Blast, Friends, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Toll the Dead, Vicious Mockery 1 Command, Hellish Rebuke, Hex, Inflict Wounds, Silvery Barbs 2 Hold Person, Invisibility, Scorching Ray, Suggestion 3 Fireball, Magic Circle, Summon Lesser Demons, Vampiric Touch 4 Banishment, Summon Greater Demon 5 Enervation, Flame Strike, Hold Monster 6 Summon Fiend (or) Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise (Lower) 7 Plane Shift (or) Finger of Death 8 Dominate Monster 9 Imprisonment

KAREN’S FEATURES

Dark One’s Blessing When you kill an enemy creature, gain temp HP equal to CHA mod + Warlock Level (max 25) Gift of the Ever-Living Ones While her familiar is within 100 feet of her, Karen regains maximum hit points that she could roll for. Dark One’s Own Luck Add 1d10 to a saving throw or skill check once per rest. Tomb of Levistus When damaged, Karen puts herself On the Rocks and encases herself in ice, gaining temp HP equal to 10x her warlock level (max 200). After the triggering damage is calculated, she becomes vulnerable to fire damage, she becomes incapacitated, and her speed is 0. Fiendish Resilience After a rest, choose a damage type to become resistant to. Hurl Through Hell Once per long rest, when you hit a creature, send it to the Nine Hells until the end of your next turn. If it’s not a Fiend, it takes 10d10 psychic damage (max 100). Chains of Carceri Karen can cast Hold Monster at will on any Celestial, Fiend, or Elemental. Shroud of Shadow Karen can cast Invisibility at will. Eldritch Master Karen can spend one minute communing with her patron to get an advance on her allowance and regain all of her spell slots once per long rest.

I’m surprisingly happy with how well Karen turned out. It’s a bit of a goofy build, but a good one. She’s got a good CON score and proficiency with CON saves not only to keep her concentration while summoning The Help from Hell, but to also stay on her feet while drunk, high, and whatever else she might be at any given time. Karen has the power to hurt people with her words and with her sugar daddy’s power and influence, but she can also outsource her problems to the help by summoning demons and devils to do the work for her. And she has means of deporting them if they raise a fuss or talk about unionizing. Karen is not a character I expected to translate to DnD, but I’m honestly going to have to put her on my list of characters to someday try playing in a campaign some day.

#karen walker #megan mullally #will and grace #will & grace #oh honey #dnd #dnd 5e #dungeons & dragons #dungeons and dragons #dnd fifth edition #dnd 5th edition

132 notes · View notes

antiloreolympus · 3 years

Text

7 Anti LO Asks

1. does ... does anyone on the LO art team know anatomy? why does daphne look like that? (also im p sure the flower petal hair idea was stolen from punderworld and/or hades game, because all flower nymphs before in LO never had that feature but now do?)

2. Weird thing but Daphne was/is a health it. She runs, is a yoga teacher, and probably more since she has a lot we “don’t expect” yet Apollo is just following behind her, like not flying not some weird god power, just chasing after her as she runs from him. Sure the dress might slow her down but she tied it. I feel like she could have gotten farther faster.

3. i kinda get what LO is doing by trying to make Demeter "redeemable" by making her a victim too, but that shouldn't be via depowering her so much to where Zeus and Leto and even Hecate can push her around, but also we still saw Demeter was emotionally and mentally abusive to Persephone, that doesn't just go away over the span of a stressful month. I get LO is doing this so Persephone isn't stuck with an abusive mom half the year, but this is the worst possible way to do it.

4. I honestly hate Apollo’s character in lo. He’s not a fun villain or a villain to root for. He’s not even a villain I love to hate. Apollo’s motivations are barely even explained. His character makes me so uncomfortable and makes reading lo harder than usual.

5. the only two times ive seen a depiction of hades running a business like LO it was HADES and Hadestown, and the former made sure to show Hades paid everyone and have them benefits like time off, and the latter was about how capitalism is a cruel and unjust system. Meanwhile LO is like "slavery is good, actually", like ...

6. I used to really love Lore Olympus - to the point where I would argue with the anti's to leave the comic alone. I'm Greek, and I hate the Percy Jackson series with a passion and I think I clung onto LO as the closest thing to what a non-Greek could produce that was actually pretty good.

And to be honest, season 1 wasn't that bad at all! There were a few funky pacing issues, and some things that needed an explanation (why Apollo was entitled, why Demeter kept Persephone hidden, a bit more on why Hades is considered a bad person, ext.) But I just interpreted that these things would come with time. After all, it's a series.

But then, season 2 actually came out. This is when I started to notice that the webtoon, even in season 1, had a ton of bad writing.

Apollo is cartoonishly and unreasonably evil. He has no nuance to him, like the other gods and goddesses. In Greek mythology, everyone did shitty things, so I guess I expected a bit more nuance to his character since Smythe had given this to her other villain-like characters - like Minthe, Zeus, even Chronos was hinted at having some emotional issues. Yet Apollo comes in and the only thing we know is that he could be being pushed by his mother - but we don't really see his side of the story - and if anyone tries to bring this up it immediately gets put down as "You're a r@pe apologist!" No, I just need a bit more consistency - you can't give Minthe a reason as to why she does what she does, make Zeus nuanced, but then treat this other character like the devil himself - especially when this God is such an important part of Greek culture and mythology.

Smythe's Demeter has become a joke. How is it, the Goddess that was once referred to some ancient Greeks as Mother Earth herself, a powerful Chthonic Goddess along with her daughters Persephone and the mysterious Despoina, was one of the most important Goddesses to date, is not a Fertility Goddess and is easily captured? I mean, ok, Leto was indeed a Titan of Night/Light of Day and considered to be one of Zeus's brides; but Smythe didn't even bother showing us the Goddesses fighting or interacting! There was no struggle at all?! On top of that, she is a perfectionist that is considered overbearing and snobbish - I don't understand how Demeter can be shown as strong and even threatening in season 1 and was even hinted at having a history with Zeus and Hades is now just....a character trope?

Why is Persephone being written as a Mary Sue? I never thought I would have to bring this word up in the Lord's year of 2021, but here we are. Persephone has too many men after her or has shown a slight interest (Hades, Ares, Apollo, Hermes, Hephaestus, and possibly Chronos? Seriously?) Like, I know that in *one* story it was mentioned that those Gods mentioned offered her wedding gifts, but Demeter turned them away- but they weren't all going after her at once. Demeter's fertility Goddess title was obviously taken from her (among other Goddesses) to make Persephone the super special one. And now her Act of Wrath is being downplayed and Zeus is being villainized for wanting to convict her...I honestly stopped feeling sorry for her. I'm at the point where I want Zeus to give her to Apollo haha.

Hades's character is inconsistent - first, he's portrayed as a 'scoundrel' CEO type that people fear - one that literally rips someone's eye out and forces the dead to pay to get into the afterlife- and then he's portrayed as a gentle and loving man? These two character types do not flow together smoothly, and Smythe has made little to no effort to harmonize them.

When I presented these criticisms to the recent fast pass chapter - I was attacked. More than 10 dislikes and fans telling me that I need to stop reading and that saying that Demeter and Apollo are badly written is me missing the point of the story. The fandom has also become incredibly toxic, and I'm ashamed to say that I even defended this comic.

7. id be so mad if i spent years reading this comic only for them to get together off screen. i really hope rachel isnt pulling that because as much as the fans are annoying, they deserve to actually see what they've been waiting and paying for, not have it all happen off screen and rushed.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

48 notes · View notes

jae-daddy · 3 years

Text

Duff (6)

jaebum au series

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO! i guess too now “ plot: you are the duff and guys use you to get close to your best friend, Heather, and turns out Jaebum is no exception. but as time goes on the tension between you and your best friend’s unofficial boyfriend grows a/n: im sorry for posting after so long. i got busy with new year celebrations and then started struggling with a creative blog. not edited. hope y’all enjoy it! <3

“So, how is it working for the hot new Director?” Naina asked, watching you take a bite of the fries on your plate. You narrowed your eyes at her anticipating face, waiting for any drop of new information.

You frowned at her instead, “Naina, you ask me this every time we meet.”

Naina only pouted in reply, before picking up a fry from your plate and popping it into her mouth. Before you could complain, she lifted up a quarter of her wrap and dropped it on your plate, “I only ask because you never know when situations can change. One day your secretary and boss, and the next day, you both are hooking up on his sexy desk.”

“Did you just call his desk sexy?”

“Come on,” Naina blew gaping at you as if you were the one insane. “Have you seen that majestic dark wood slick piece of beauty?”

“Oh my god, the Director’s desk right?” Pam settled next to Naina. Naina gave you a told you so look, and you just rolled your eyes at their antics. You didn’t say anything as the other two ladies drifted into a conversation about how sexy furniture could be.

You would have normally joined them, and told them about the three thousand dollar coffee table at Heather’s apartment. But you couldn’t participate in their conversation. Not when your mind was elsewhere; somewhere so much more interesting and sexier than furniture.

What Naina had said had planted another seed in your garden of fantasies about Jaebum and you.

This time you imagined yourself spread on his dark wood desk. Your bodies holding on to each other, desperately trying to get closer as he fucked into you.

You swallowed, as you popped a fry into your mouth, making you choke. You coughed a few times to avail before your hands reached out to your friends who turned towards you with wide eyes.

God, this was so embarrassing. You were going to die from choking on a piece of fry at the company cafeteria.

“Y/n!” Naina and Pam panicked, jumping in their seats. They held your hand staring at you horrified and lost. You had such idiot friends, you were truly about to meet the devil any second now.

Suddenly, you were pulled up from your seat and arms wrapped around your waist. You felt the person behind you press into your stomach from behind, making you heave. The smell of rose and vanilla enveloped you as you felt softness behind you.

“One more time,” a smooth voice grunted into your ear. You nodded, frantically, before the person pressed once more. The piece stuck in your throat flew out. You fell forward, your arms catching the table in front of you. Arms covered in a grey jacket held you steady as you caught your breath.

You heard claps, and you were so embarrassed.

“Are you okay?” You turned around and your breath got caught in your throat from the beauty in front of you. Her almond-shaped eyes crinkled as she gazed at you with concern.

Her pouty pink lips drew into a straight line before her fingers gently brushed the hair from your face. Your heart skipped a beat at the touch, before you nodded, holding in your breath, “I’m okay. Thank you.”

The goddess in front of you smiled, her short hair brushing her shoulders slightly, “Chew your food properly, doll.”

She shot you a wink and walked away with ease and confidence. You remained standing there, your hand over your pounding heart.

“Wow,” Naina gasped from behind you. You slipped into your seat, seeing their face mirror your awe, “I think I'm in love.”

“Me too,” Pam and you replied.

You walked into the office after two quick knocks for the sake of formality, and to piss of Jaebum.

Jaebum hated it whenever you did something that an employee was supposed to do, especially when no one else was around.

Jaebum’s office was supposed to be empty with just him sitting on the couch, he worked from.

So imagine your surprise when you walked into his office to find Jaebum and the gorgeous woman from the cafeteria tangled into one another.

You noticed how she was slightly perched on the dark wood of the sexy desk your friends had gushed about. You noticed how Jaebum’s hands spread on her back, and how her head dipped into his neck.

“Oh,” was all that left you. You didn’t know if you should walk back out or stand there until they noticed your presence.

Jaebum noticed you immediately and untangled himself from the woman instantly. You bit your cheek to hold in the urge to roll your eyes. He was going to pretend that you didn’t just walk into a moment in case you went back and reported to Heather.

Typical.

All men are trash.

And you knew Jaebum was just like everyone else already. You knew that the moment he decided to jump the boat from you and Heather literally five minutes after meeting you. He was no different to every other sleazy shit head to walk this earth.

The caught look on Jaebum’s face told you couldn’t hide the distaste from your face as your eyes settled on him.

“Hey, it’s you!” Her smooth voice chuckled, “You work for JB?”

“Everyone here does,” you gave her a curt smile back.

She could have saved you from hell but that didn’t excuse whatever her and Jaebum were up to before you walked in.

Your eyes drew back to Jaebum. The top button of his shirt open, his hair a mess and cheeks flushed. Biting your tongue, you tore your gaze away from him and the mess he echoed.

“She’s my assistant, y/n,” Jaebum finally croaked out. His eyes watching you.

You looked at the iPad in your hand instead of the pair in front of you, “You have a meeting with Mr Mark Tuan in twenty minutes, and dinner with Jackson Wang at eight.”

“No mister for Jackson?” the lady rose an eyebrow at you.

You gave her a polite smile, “No.”

She held your gaze for a moment longer, before turning to Jaebum. She let out a sigh as she hugged him once more. Jaebum hugged her back hesitantly this time, aware of your dark eyes watching them.

He patted her back twice and she moved away.

“It was nice seeing you after so long, JB,” she smiled at him. Jaebum smiled back at her this time, nodding in agreement. She patted his shoulder before picking up her bag from the chair next to the desk. “Oh, before I forget, guess who is back in town and wants to get into business with you?”

Jaebum frowned, and you watched the pair, almost sulking from your corner.

Her smile brightened with secrecy that made you listen intently, “Park Jinyoung.”

Your heart stopped.

“Hey y/n!” You blinked back to reality to find Jaebum in front of you. His eyes staring into yours as he rose his brows in question, “You alright?”

The grimace formed on your lips before you could hold it back. You didn’t even know what you were feeling but it wasn’t pleasant.

You felt it towards Jaebum and how he was hugging that girl. Not because of your feelings, but because he was with Heather.

Not that you had feelings for him or anything.

God, this was so confusing. On top of that, he was back in town.

You felt your frown deepen into a scowl as you glared at Jaebum.

You hissed at him, making him jump back slightly, “Get ready for the meeting. I’ve sent you the report for the meeting already.”

He opened his mouth to something, but you cut him off, “With notes, sir.”

You turned and began walking out of his office.

“Y/n,” Jaebum called out, but you ignored him.

Your foot kept tapping against the carpeted floor as you watched the numbers increase on the screen. You hadn't been able to keep still since the moment you heard the news.

Im Jaebum was no help either. All you wanted was to be left alone but he kept on trying to talk to you or kept on sending you to get coffee.

He didn’t take a single sip of those five iced americanos he ordered. All the cups piled on the floor next to the couch he sat on watching you with those dark eyes.

As soon as the clock hit seven-thirty, you called for Jaebum’s driver and rushed out of the office. You didn’t head home, you didn’t even consider going home for a second. Your feet without hesitation led you to Heather’s apartment.

You entered the code, your birthday, and entered the chilly room blasting with the AC high.

“Heather, I need wine and a good movie for crying. You won’t believe what I just- oh MY GOD- AHHHHHHH!” A bloodcurdling scream escaped you, as you fell onto the wall behind you.

When your scream settled as you took in the figure standing in the pink robe belonging to your best friend, you straightened, confused.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You sneered.

“Wow, such a kind greeting for me,” Bambam rolled his eyes, before continuing to sip the glass of orange juice in his hand. You stared at him, your mind puzzled and trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

“So what’s the tea?” Bambam smacked his lips before licking the droplets of juice remaining on them. He slammed the glass on the white marble, grinning at you. “Why do you need wine and a sad movie? Time of the month?”

“Why- What- How- Pink robe?” You stammered over your words pointing at him. Bambam stood there as if there was nothing weird about this situation. As if standing in nothing but another girl’s pink robe in a stranger’s kitchen was a normal occurrence for him. Your eyes narrowed at him, “Where’s Heather?”

“Y/n!” Heather appeared through her bedroom door. You took in her wet hair and silk robe, your eyes going to Bambam’s also wet hair. You frowned in confusion, and a fire blazed inside of you as an evil thought sprouted somewhere in the back of your mind.

Did they... Are they cheating on Jaebum?

Jaebum’s face from that night at the club invaded your mind. The smile on his face, the look in his eyes as he watched Heather with such softness, “It’s good she gets to live her life how she wants to.”

God. God.

What do you do?

You glared at Heather. Your eyes burned with betrayal from your friend and the anger that spread through your veins as you thought of Jaebum. You couldn’t bear to even imagine the sight of him heartbroken, defeated and cheated. You would rather the world end than see him like that.

“No, y/n!” Heather huffed taking a step towards you. The droplets from her long ember hair darkening the pink silk wrapped around her body. She took a step towards you and you almost took one back. But your feet remained still, as you saw the panic in her eyes, the desperation, “Let me explain.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that he is homeless?” You grunted at a dressed Heather sitting in front of you.

Bambam sat somewhere behind you, snorting, “I’m not homeless. Just low on cash and have no place to go.”

“That is literally homeless,” you turned towards him, giving him a smile.

“Basically,” Heather nodded, ignoring Bambam’s protest in the background. “I’m letting him stay here for a few weeks until his apartment problem is sorted out. I’m living at home anyways, but I came here today because I spilt coffee all over myself.”

“Oh,” you nodded. You weren’t completely convinced. She could’ve gone home, it was just ten minutes away. And why was both of their hair wet from the shower, when there is only one shower in the apartment. Maybe she might have kicked him out of the shower pulling ownership rank.

You had to believe her. There was no other explanation. The alternative was too cruel, and you would rather believe this than consider the dangerous alternative.

And how could you possibly not believe her? You knew Heather would do this in a heartbeat for anyone, she would do so much more then let others stay in her house. She had done the same for you once upon a time, she had done so much more.

She was even willing to buy you a house and you had to talk her out of it.

Yeah, there was no way anything was going on between Heather and Bambam. Whatever she said was the complete and absolute truth, there was no other alternative explanation needed or present.

Heather would never hurt someone else purposefully, she was pure and kind. She was not you.

“How come you’re here?” Heather asked, changing the subject.

“It’s nothing,” you shook your head.

“She's lying,” Bambam butted in. “She came in asking for wine and a movie that will make her cry. Something happened, or she’s on her period.”

Heather turned to you with a grave look, “What’s wrong, babe?”

You glared at Bambam, before turning to Heather. You let out a sigh as you picked your fingernails nervously. Heather instantly took your hands in hers making you meet her concerned green eyes, “What’s wrong?”

You frowned. Your lower lip trembling, “It’s -”

Ding Dong.

You and Heather turned towards the door, and then at Bambam. He let out an exhausted sigh, before he getting up, groaning.

“What am I meant to do? Send them away or- Oh, it's JB,” and without hesitation, he let the dark-haired male in.

Your frown deepened as you glared at the doorway he appeared through. His eyes landed on you right away and stayed on you. You held his gaze, your face darkening into a glare.

His rosy lips parted, his dark eyes filled with desperateness and despair as he held your gaze. It was as if all he saw in the room was you; as if the rest of the people, all disappeared.

It terrified you. It terrified you how this single moment made your heart flip and race. He terrified you.

“Oh good, you’re here Jaebum,” Heather spoke from behind you, and finally, Jaebum looked away from you. But it didn’t stay there, his dark eyes fell back on you, watching you intently.

Was he scared you would tell Heather what you saw in the office?

You scoffed at him, shaking your head as you looked away from him.

“Take Bambam out for a bit,” you heard your best friend’s sweet voice tell her boyfriend.

“I’m not a dog!” Bambam protested. Heather laughed behind you, but Jaebum and you didn’t as much as attempt to smile. Your eyes glittering with fire remained on him before you smirked at him.

You noticed his jaw tightened.

He was so pathetic.

You couldn’t believe you were worried about Heather cheating on him when he was almost dry humping another girl in his office. Well, you didn't see the humping, all you saw was the embrace, but you never know.

You can never know with guys like Im Jaebum, with their bad-news piercing and bad fuck-boy ways.

“Come on, let’s go,” Bambam began dragging Jaebum away, making him look away from you. “Clearly the ladies want us out.”

The door clicked behind them, and you felt your throat dry up.

Heather felt the tension too. She gently placed her fingers under your chin making you meet her gaze, “Now tell me, why do you need a sob night?”

“Heather,” you breathed. Your heart felt as if it would escape out of your chest. Your palms clasped sweatily, as you fisted them in your lap.

Two thoughts bounced around in your head, debating which one do you tell her.

Do you tell her about Im Jaebum who might have cheated on her if she hadn't walked in? Without any proof, without any certainty?

Or do you tell her what you wanted to, what had been bothering you since the afternoon?

“Heather,” her name left you shaky and weak, you gulped, your throat dry, “he’s back, and I might be seeing him around.”

Heather looked at you confused, and you continued, “He wants to get into business with Jaebum, and I'll have to be there.”

“Who, y/n?”

“Park Jinyoung,” you held in your breath.

Rage blazed through her emerald eyes matching the fire of her ember curls. She shot up from her seat, her fists clenched on her sides, “Fuck off if that asshole thinks he can come anywhere near you.”

You snorted, “He isn’t trying to come near me, Heather. He’s trying to do business with Jaebum.”

“I’ll talk to Jaebum to-”

“No.”

“No?”

You shook your head, “No, I can do this.”

Heather looked at you for a long moment.

You leaned into her, letting her engulf you into her arms, “Just let me be sad tonight and get ready for tomorrow.”

“My baby is all grown up,” She kissed your forehead, pulling you closer to her, “I’m so proud of you, but I’m always here for you.”

You nodded, you knew that.

The door of the apartment opened and you slightly turned to find Bambam walk in with four bottles of wine, “Are you guys ready to cry?”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help but giggle as he popped one open and offered it to you.

“Fuck yeah!” Heather cheered. You all turned to her, surprised. Heather didn’t talk crude, but tonight she didn't care to act proper. She just rolled her eyes, “Tonight, we are improper human beings.”

Bambam turned to Jaebum who stood a few feet away, “You in?”

His dark eyes travelled to you once again. After a long moment, he nodded, finally, tearing his gaze away from you and to Bambam.

“Good, go get the glasses,” Bambam ordered him laughing. He turned to the front and pulled out the remote, “Notebook, Titanic --”

“One Day,” you say.

They all gasp and stare at you. You just shrug and take a sip of the wine.

“You really chose heartbreak today, huh?” Bambam snickered, pulling up Netflix. “One Day it is. Jaebum get the tissues ready.”

181 notes · View notes

floatingcatacombs · 3 years

Text

Evaluting Gatchaman Crowds Through Rui’s Outfits

12 Days of Aniblogging 2020, Day 1

Oh, I’m fashionably late to this one. Gatchaman Crowds is a 2013 superhero anime that serves as a soft reboot of the old tokusatsu franchise, only now with 21st century shitty anime tropes. From this painfully generic setup emerges a surprisingly layered evaluation of technological disruption in the smartphone era. For this reason, Crowds is a favorite amongst anime bloggers as a superhero work that’s actually trying to do something interesting.

Unfortunately I don’t care about any of these guys

But it’s also a favorite amongst all sorts of weirdos because of the character Rui Ninomiya. A horrifying amalgamation of the technolibertarian CEO and trans femme hacker archetypes, Rui is by far the most interesting character in the show, because they’re a surprisingly prescient look at how the tech industry will function throughout the 2010s. But they’re also a ‘boy’ who never leaves their house without dressing in the most girly clothes imaginable. Predictably, this is catnip for me. But the funniest part of the whole situation is that nobody ever addresses it. Rui never provides an explanation for their outfits and the rest of the cast just uses she/her until they properly get acquainted and switch to he/him.

I could tell you that Rui’s obviously trans and wrap up the post right there, but that’s honestly not the most interesting angle of attack here. So I’m just going to use whatever pronouns I feel like in the moment for them and focus on what really matters: fashion! Rui has a surprisingly large wardrobe throughout the show, so I’ll be doing the heavy lifting of ranking each of her outfits. Oh, and also maybe a little analysis of what she represents. Spoilers for the whole show, of course.

7. The Yellow Dress

Let me lay out Rui’s ideology before I lay into their fashion disaster. You see, they’re a tech disruptor who believes that governments and bureaucracies are too slow to achieve the monumental (yet unspecified) change that society needs. So, they preside over a smartphone app called GALAX that successfully predicts Pokemon Go’s geosocial AR gimmick three years early. GALAX is a technolibertarian’s wet dream – crowdsourced emergency response, interest-based meetups, and matchmaking for people who need specific help and the people who can help them, all deeply gamified.

Their outfit here is about as messy as their politics, but at the same time, what a look. She’s got blue-and-white-striped programming thigh highs on under her combat boots, which are both such trans iconography, you know? While they may just be a reflection of early-2010s 4chan crossdressing culture, it’s also totally possible that Rui directly influenced or reinforced trans girl fashion, like the accelerationist she is. What a prescient show, in all sorts of weird ways.

6. Lace-up Dress with Bunny Ears

It wouldn’t be an anime girl cosplay without some bunny ears, now would it? Rui spends 5 minutes in an early episode just wandering around the city in this outfit, listening to people’s conversations and feelings on GALAX. There’s something very funny about how nobody even notices them, like they’re completely invisible despite their ridiculous outfit. This actually factors back into the tech stuff! Like pretty much every tech company, Rui’s app and vision are both sleek and shiny but rely on tremendous amounts of dirty labor kept as hidden as possible. From Amazon’s inhumane warehouse conditions to Facebook’s trauma-inducing moderator farms to Apple’s child labor-tainted supply chains, there’s always suffering humans behind the too-good-to-be-true magic of tech companies. Rui’s lie by omission is failing to mention that the app relies on invisible extradimensional beings called CROWDS that are manually controlled by underpaid workers to assist its users. One of the workers comes to Rui challenging their vision and arguing that they should be sharing this tech with the movers and shakers of the world, not trying to keep it invisible. He threatens a collective walkout and Rui fires him. At this point, we’re not even operating on metaphors.

5. Green Business Casual

Sure, most tech companies have cruel labor underbellies, but there’s also the separate risk of moral rot. It’s what causes Microsoft to take on ICE contracts and Google to develop censored versions of their search engine at the whims of authoritarians. Many tech companies start off with an altruistic message, but without a serious ethical core, they will start doing a whole lot of evil as they bend to financial and other pressures. Rui’s version of this is extremely literal: she made a deal with the devil to gain the ability to use the CROWDS and launch her app. Except this devil is also a butch gender-noncomforming alien (there is a Lot of other gender going on in this show that I don’t even have time for) and the two of them seem to have an extremely fucked-up relationship. Like any good Faustian bargain or any bad attempt at raising more venture capital without a viable business model, eventually the whole thing comes tumbling down and now you’re doing something terribly fucked up. Rui looks good in a dress shirt, at least!

4. Whatever your abusive partner puts on when she body-snatches you

Of course the center won’t hold, GALAX is subject to a hostile takeover, and to nobody’s surprise, an app with the flimsy promise to change the world for the better can actually be way better at ripping it all apart. I guess the prescient social media parallel here is Facebook being used to propagate Myanmar’s ethnic cleansing, or really anything related to Twitter for the last 5 years. FuckedUpAlienMimic!Rui sure does have cute fangs and a way more refined fashion sense though. I don’t feel like looking into that one.

3. Business....Futch?

I know I’m not done outlining Rui’s arc, but I’m going to skip ahead for a moment to say that Gatchaman Crowds also has a second season! I’m largely ignoring it here because Rui is pretty much stripped of all plot relevance and most of her outfits are less exciting, but I had to include this one. For two episodes, she puts on bright yellow stirrup leggings and an oversized polo shirt, with a cute ponytail to boot. It’s a ridiculous look, but still feels really evocative to me. Sometimes a girl just has to put together completely uncoordinated outfits and see what happens.

Unlike the disruption-focused first season, Gatchaman Crowds season two, which aired in 2015, is about how unfettered technolibertarianism can easily descend into fascism. Goddammit.

2. The Bunny Ears Outfit Again Oh God Who Hurt Her

The weight of the world comes crashing down in Rui’s hands, she’s bruised and beaten in a surprisingly sadistic manner by her alien ex-business partner/girlfriend, and she’s locked out of her own company which is very quickly causing society to fall apart. So what does she do? She puts the bunny dress back on, and wanders the streets again until she has to call upon the powers that be to fix her own mess. It’s silly that the powers that be in this world are superheroes, but I bet you forgot that this was technically a superhero show at this point. Anyways, my extended metaphor is quickly drifting off course, but I guess this is the part where Rui gets grilled by Congress and slapped with an antitrust case.

1. Every Trans Girl Stereotype Rolled Into One

I’ve been incredibly harsh on Rui throughout this writeup, because I’m harsh on the industry she represents, but I’ll make it up with this section. Look at what she’s wearing! A choker, the gothiest Hot Topic dress imaginable, arm warmers, no less than three asymmetric garters not even holding up anything, and the tallest black boots she could find. It’s incredible! If the first outfit on this list was hinting at her relationship to stereotypical trans fashion, then this outfit just screams it. It’s the perfect goth femme hacker look, a style commitment I have no choice but to respect.

Gatchaman is a weird show. After spending most of its runtime thoroughly dunking on tech disruptors for being too optimistic and uncritical, it takes a last-minute turn into Lockean state of nature arguments. It settles on “the masses are inherently good enough that empowering people through technology shouldn’t ever be a problem”, ignoring all the suffering that happened due to Rui’s unwillingness to curate their own technology. I’d give Gatchaman Crowds an average rating, but it’s one of those interesting average ratings where instead of being milquetoast, they tried something and failed and wrote themselves into a corner. But hey, at least there’s an interestingly gendered character!

#12 days of anime #gatchaman crowds #rui ninomiya #trans #technology

18 notes · View notes

padfootagain · 5 years

Text

Welcome To Hell (I)

Part 1 : The Mission

Here is part one of my new series for Logan! I hope you like it :) I honestly took too much fun imagining Hell hahaha!! I hope you like all this!

Gif not mine

Word count : 2400

The room was filled with sins. The curtains hid from the outside all the excess that had occurred during the night. Across empty bottles and broken glasses were scattered traces of drugs and clothes. A man and a woman were sleeping on the couch. Another man slept on the ground, his cheek resting in a skirt he used as a pillow. In the king-sized bed, Logan was asleep with a woman. Lying on his stomach, he enjoyed what he considered as a well-deserved rest.

The woman sleeping by his side had signed up and joined the side of the Devil the previous night. And as the demon who had recruited her, Logan was also responsible for celebrating the signing of the contract. And he had done a very good job.

The contract that had been signed the previous night was a rather classic one: her soul for the Devil to help her through whatever project she was aiming at.

Some wanted youth, beauty. Others wanted money. Sometimes it was all about revenge. For the woman he had convinced the prior night, she longed for power. Nothing that hard to get in this world, as long as you accepted to do what was necessary, no matter morality. A few lives destroyed would easily get her to the top. And soon, she would sit in this CEO chair she wanted so much to occupy.

But everything had a price…

For the help of powers bigger than her, she had sold her soul.

Not that Logan thought that it was an unfair bargain. He couldn’t see any disadvantage in being on the side of the bad guys. He had fun, he enjoyed all the pleasures that life could offer. What else could he want? Morality and conscience were overrated notions that were only meant to control people. Fixed rules that had no other purpose than to strengthen the powers of a few by dictating limits to the crowds. It was like putting blindfolds on every single human on the planet.

And Logan was definitely not stupid enough to get caught in the trap. He was too selfish for that.

And well, becoming a demon had allowed him a second life after his death. One that couldn't end that easily. One that offered him much more than his mortal life had ever been able to give him. How could he ever complain?

It is through this messy hotel room that Logan's boss walked, and he wore a disdainful look on his face. He had always thought that demons like Logan were futile. Agents were but children to him. He longed for biggest forms of chaos.

When Logan messed up with simple mortal lives, Joshua played with entire countries. Messing up with political affairs was his specialty. And these past few years, he had been particularly successful. It was so easy to rise a little hate and set up humans against each other… they loved imagining differences between each others. What a ridiculous species they made… unable to see that they were all the same, despite what they could see in mirrors… Pathetic.

Anyway, Joshua was not to complain on the simple nature of humanity, he loved to play with it. And these past few years, with the elections of many country leaders, he had been particularly successful at messing with people.

But his high rank also meant that Joshua was in charge of the demons who acted directly in the human world. And Logan Delos was one of them. And to appoint to him a new mission, Joshua often had to come to whatever hotel room Logan had been partying in this time.

He heaved a sigh. Agents were so superficial…

He picked up a bucket filled with melted ice-cubes where bottles of champagne must have been kept cold the previous night. He dipped a finger into it, and let a content smile spread across his features as he noticed that the water was still cold.

And without hesitation, he threw the icy water on Logan's sleeping frame.

The agent woke up in a jolt, gasping sharply at the sensation. He cursed fiercely, jumping out of bed. He shouted a few insults, before finally realizing what was happening. All the while, the rest of the mortals were still fast asleep.

"What the heck did you do that for?!" Logan angrily shouted at his boss.

"I can see you had a fun night," Joshua ignored his question and merely made his observation with a disgusted look on his face.

Logan gave him a toothy grin, not for a second embarrassed by the fact that he was standing before Joshua while completely naked.

"I did have a nice time indeed, "You should join us next time," Logan offered, but Joshua responded with a disdainful look.

"I don’t think so. And I am not here to talk about your… mortal activities."

"They are more than activities, Joshua. They’re pleasures. Mortal pleasures."

"How uncivilized," Joshua whispered under his breath, wincing. "Come with me. I have a new mission for you."

"A mission? Again?" Logan raised an eyebrow in surprise. "But I just finished this one!"

"Where is her contract?" Joshua asked, ignoring Logan’s protest.

"Right here."

Logan pushed aside a few cards, some poker chips and what was left of lines of cocaine. From under all this mess, he extracted the precious contract his target had signed the previous night, offering her soul to the devil.

Joshua finally let a satisfied expression colour his morose features. His dark skin contrasted with the yellowish paper as his black eyes ran across the contract. He gave Logan a nod.

"Good. Follow me then. We’ll see about this new mission of yours in my office. Just… put something on first," he added, vaguely gesturing towards Logan’s naked frame.

"Now… don’t be a prude," Logan laughed, but obeyed nonetheless, putting on his dark shirt and jeans.

He merely picked up his socks and shoes though, noticing that Joshua’s patience was wearing thin already. And Joshua was not the kind of demon that one wanted to annoy. He was much crueller than he seemed to be. And as a demon First Class, one of the highest ranks in the evil hierarchy, he could literally vaporize Logan with a mere snap of his fingers. After all, Logan was merely an agent. His job was only to recruit mortals to their side. He had no place in the greater schemes that the Devil planned. He guessed that a good comparison would be the one of a simple soldier, a general and the president, each representing Logan, Joshua and the Devil respectively. Joshua was said to be one of the few who were allowed to call the Devil by one of His names. If Logan had dared to call him Satan… dear God, he didn’t even want to imagine what kind of torments the Devil would unleash upon him.

So Logan had no choice but to follow Joshua, for now still barefoot, as he exited the hotel room and finally the hotel to reach an old telephone booth. Joshua dialled the number 666 before pressing the number 0 for 6 seconds, and in the blink of an eye, both he and Logan were in Hell.

The building they had entered looked altogether like a gigantic church, stones carved and ceiling gracefully bending. Hanging at the walls were torches alit with flames and candles were set here and there across the hall, the wax melting across the ground. The light was thus dim but quite warm, in contrast with the cold and impressive stones that made anyone who walked in the hall feel so impossibly small.

They followed a long corridor leading towards the demons' headquarters. The ground changed from stones to wood, and the walls took the form of large red bricks. The only things decorating the passage were honouring titles delivered to the most famous servants of the Devil.

They finally reached the main hall, and they both nodded at Cerberus, the lovely secretary and keeper of the building. Logan’s eyes lingered on the man’s attractive features, and couldn’t refrain a disappointed sigh. A shame that Cerberus was known to never sleep with demons… The receptionist didn't pay them much attention, too busy petting his three large dogs. Logan had always found the story of Cerberus's name rather funny. Mortals had apparently been so impressed by the three very large, black dogs that all they had memorized from the entrance of this building was a monster with three dog heads. And somehow, they had mistaken the name of the receptionist and attributed it to this monster their wild imagination had produced. The poor receptionist was thus forgotten, although his name was in many tales and legends. What made it all even funnier was the knowledge that the three dogs were absolutely adorable, and despite their large stature and powerful jaws, they would have never hurt a fly… Mortals had such a ridiculous imagination…

But Logan and Joshua abandoned the freckled face of Cerberus in favour of the glass lift. Through the transparency of the walls of the lift, they had a nice view of the gardens set at the back of the building. No wonder why the mortal archaeologists had never found the hanging gardens of Babylon. The Devil had moved them to Hell long ago. And as the lift went up and up, the sight of this treasure lost to mankind was more and more beautiful. While he was still human, Logan had always pictured Hell as filled with flames and terrible tortures. The vision was so archaic…

They went up to the 80th floor, where the First-Class demons held their offices. Each floor was named after an infamous demon or one of the names of the Devil. The 80th floor was thus called after Azazel, who had taught once to Men how to build and use weapons of war. And considering the work of those who worked at this floor, Logan reckoned that it fitted them well…

They abandoned the beautiful view of the lost gardens drenched in hues of green and a thousand of other colours brought by the flowers in eternal bloom. As soon as the glass doors opened, Logan and Joshua advanced through the corridor, their feet shushed by the thick layer of blue carpet. Offices were set on both sides of this corridor that ran through the whole length of the building. The ones set on the right had a beautiful view upon the gardens Logan loved so much to walk through, when the ones on the left were set above the long river that humans knew as the Stix. Many demons were on its banks no matter the hour of the day, either to walk on the soft sand of the shore or take a swim in these waters that always wore the perfect temperature. Again, the mortal vision of the river was quite archaic. And the ferryman Charon? Who was depicted as such a merciless guide? He was merely the one in charge of the renting of the boats to sail on the Stix.

Joshua’s office was set on the right side of the corridor, and thus, he gave a nice view on the peaceful beaches downwards. At such a height, a good part of the horizon was also made by the Top, as demons often called the pitch-black veil that towered Hell. Was it a starless sky that was above their heads? Or the ceiling of a cave? Logan had no idea. There was no notion of days and nights in Hell. Time passed, but demons had no biological need for sleep. Many agents had kept the habit, from the time that they were humans themselves, but elder demons such as Joshua had given up on this useless action a long while ago. With no sun nor moon dancing up there, it was hard to guess if they were outside or inside. Was this whole world set in a gigantic cave or on a planet with no stars? Logan had no clue. If they were in a secluded space, then he had never found the edges, no matter if they were made of stones or void. There were legends though, of course. Legends speaking of secret passages once created by rebellious Necromancers and Warlocks to walk in and out of hell without the Devil’s surveillance. But they were mere fairytales. And the Devil’s attention seemed to Logan way too sharp to let anyone slip through his ominous watch.

Joshua silently invited Logan to sit down while he took off his long leathery coat. He picked up an old-looking pair of glasses from the top of his desk and set the spectacles on his long, beak-like nose. They were slightly lopsided, as usual. Logan had no memory of seeing the glasses set in any other way.

They both sat down, each on a side of the desk, and Joshua quickly picked up a yellow file stained with coffee.

"Here she is!" Joshua opened the file with a focused expression and furrowed eyebrows. "She’s top priority, so don’t mess up!"

"Top priority? Why? What’s so special about her?"

"This one is good. And I mean it, Logan. Kind, generous… you’ll have trouble to turn this one to our side. But we need to take more risks. If we can make such good people join us, the balance will most definitely sway to our side. And that means victory! We’re trying on this one. It’s your job to finally prove that we can make anyone turn. We’ve tried this a few times before but it didn’t seem worth it. Takes a lot of work to finally convince one of the goods to follow us. Times have changed though. We have more opportunities nowadays."

He paused for a moment, his black eyes fixed upon Logan’s dark ones, and he leaned on his desk a little as he spoke again, a toothy grin on his lips.

"And who knows… you’ve been here long enough. Perhaps you could get a promotion out of this mission."

Logan’s lips curved in a smile.

"Now, you’re talking…"

"You could become Demon Third Class. That would mean more powers, and more… everything, really."

"I would be more that interested," Logan smiled.

Joshua smirked.

"I knew you would be. Don’t mess up with this one then."

"Have I ever let you down?" Logan asked back. "So, what is the name of this saint I must cut the wings of?"

"Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N."

***************************

Tag list : @geeksareunique @madamrogers @giggleberts @sad-orange-thoughts @benbarnes-world @ladyblablabla @drinix @joelynnp @mxrihollxnd @newtstarmander @iammadeofstarsandlazyness @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynight-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things @presstocontinue @ilmiopiccolounivers0 @that-bwitch

#logan #logan delos #logan x reader #logan delos x reader #logan fanfic #logan imagine #logan delos imagine #logan delos fanfic #westworld #westworld imagine #westworld fanfic #logan westworld #logan westworld imagine #imagine #fanfic #writing

117 notes · View notes

astro-madness · 7 years

Text

the main difference between male and female

Aries: a female aries is lovely and charming, she has a spark to her that makes her determined to accomplish what she sets her mind to. She’s extremely erotic and open about her sexuality.

a male aries is very serious at first glance, almost shy but once they feel comfortable around you they get all weird with their drugs and anime fetiches

Taurus: a female taurus is down to earth, she appears to be quiet and softspoken but omg this girl has the craziest things going through her brain, and she will always to be hungry, is not always expressive about emotions but she gives the best gifts and hugs.

A male taurus is always really fucking strange, he’s super quirky, a gamer, addicted to game of thrones and always uses cartoon references. Funny sense of humour (borderline offensive) says love isn’t his thing, is the first one to fall.

Gemini: a gemini male almost always seems to be super attractive, either bc he’s the cute nerdy type, or the popular hot guy. really smart, likes to laugh a lot. Can be a real douche

a female gemini is adorable and always in the mood to goof around, so freaking versatile, if she feels betrayed will spill out all ur secrets and call u out on everything bitch watch out

Cancer: cancer boys are huge babies, they are party guys, it’s all about fun and games until someone mentions ‘’love’’ and they will sit u down and ramble about what their perfect girl would be like. is always waiting on the ‘’one’’, has high af expectations but likes the simplest and most boring girls.

cancer girls are moms, they always hug you, but omg these women are so jealous with their friends, it’s like you can’t even co-exist in a room with their bestie bc they will give u the stinky eye, i can’t

Leo: leo girls are the funniest ever, end of story. they’re divas and vulgar ass men at the same time. Fashion on fleek, always looks high but it’s just their face. belongs in the 70′s.

male leos are friends with everyone, most popular guy ever, nice, likes to act all mean but it’s all playful. has a hard time settling down, deep down always wants more in a girl

Virgo: virgo women are fierce, they are softies on the inside although they always look anxious on the outside, stressed 24/7, loves sex so much low-key addicted to it, organized but a big ass mess

virgo guys are intelectual but stubborn mofos, say a lot of dad jokes, god complex, act like they don’t know shit about trends but really loves buying clothes and dressing nice.

Libra: libra boys are guys who look like angels, so friendly and innocent, BUT BAM BITCH they hit you with their sass, they are flirty af but SO FUCKING OPINIONATED, will flat out say ‘’i don’t like girls who ____’’, expects for you to chase after them, they are actually explosive and get moody easily, really dirty jokes

libra girls are airheads, so nice and giggle all the damn time (it’s cute srry if i sound mad), they always laugh at what ur saying even if it’s dumb and not funny at all. always has a young face, most likely not very open about sexuality, modest, easily corrupted, ——–if u have a scorpio moon u are the devil regina george— :)

Scorpio: scorpio guys are psycho, 60% are sociopaths i swear, they never laugh but when they do it’s loud and crazy and no one knows why the fuck. always walk like they’re in a hurry, STARES, is a child 4ever

scorpio women are extreme, she will not shut up for hours and the next day will not speak at all. is sexual but probably a virgin, knows everyones secrets, jealous with friends, jealous with stranger guys, jealous with mom, jealous with pet, jealous with self. stalks crush and writes poems about him but will never admit it

Sagittarius: sag guys are soooooo cheesy romantic, i swear they’re the fourth water sign, literally so many emotions, likes art, falls in love so easily it’s ridiculous, IS ALWAYS FRIENDZONED OMg hilarious but with partner, lasts 4ever

Sag girls are the ones who friendzone, will forget ur name in a second, flakey, says she’s down to go out with friends and guess what, bish fell asleep.loves to gossip with u, will always wanna hook u up with her friends or find out details about ur crush. does the dirty work for everyone

Capricorn: cap girls are outspoken, bitchy but if she likes you she will defend u till death (she’s still gonna be a bitch to u but a softer one), confident AF, always looks ready to go to a club, boys everywhere like girl where’d u get these bruhs from. everywhere you go, guys will flock them, will make u feel like a potato bc she’s so perfect. has a hard time making decisions and letting go

cap male is competitive, ambitious, smells gooooood, style on fleek, the funniest guy ever, dark humour, smart with money, is probably gonna be a CEO, mommy’s boy, loves whiskey idk, eats SO MUCH like more than anyone, is a puppy on the inside, fuckboy but diehard romantic deep down.

Aquarius: aquarius guys always look cool, bad boy, they look like they dont care (spoiler alert: they don’t) has like 219 ex girlfriends and another hundred friends with benefits, smart ass, feels superior to everyone, thinks he’s so deep, he probably is but can never show it so no one believes him.

aqua girls are always popular, the quirky one, the one who likes things ‘’no one else likes’’, a huge hipster, simple but attractive, has so many guys who wanna be with her and she acts like she doesn’t even notice. has so many guy friends (theyallwannabangher but ok) probably artsy, has good taste in music

Pisces: pisces men walk so fucking fast, probably because of their fucking long ass legs, has a serious face almost like he’s analizing the situation but in reality they’re thinking about memes (has amazing memes), never follows his heart, has strong feelings but rarely ever acts on them. is in love with someone they dont know, always has that little shine in their eyes

pisces girls are always the cute girl, the baby, the good one. deep down these girls will say dirty shit and has that evil side that always wants to come out and play, easily makes friends, is a disney princess and loves warm things.

#astrology #zodiac #signs #funny #meme #capricorn #cancer #scorpio #gemini #leo #pisces #taurus #aries #horoscope

11K notes · View notes