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superhaught · 23 days

Text

Subterfuge

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Pairing: Shadowheart x Walker (OC/Tav)

Warnings: nudity but no smut

Word Count: 3700, Part 1/?

A/N: I've had this bad boy collecting dust for quite some time now. It was originally part of a longer piece but I wanted to just post this chunk. Walker is my first Tav. He's a half wood-elf Paladin. He's trans. He's everything to me. You'll also notice me provide some reasoning for always re-classing Shadowheart as a tempest cleric, lol. Anyhoo, please enjoy and lmk if ya wanna see more Shadowheart love!

Tagging @gothimp and @optiwashere in the hopes that y'all will enjoy this?? <3

Thunder rumbled through the area as heavy winds battered the walls of Shadowheart’s tent. This was the first storm they have had to weather on their journey and she was kept awake by the sounds.

She was never one to be fearful of storms, but this particular storm felt imposing. Perhaps it was made worse by being separated from the elements with only a waxed canvas tent rather than the security of a building. While storms were in the domain of other gods, she always felt that the dark clouds were sent by her Lady Shar. She tried to channel that into her magic by calling upon clouds of darkness to send her Lady’s rage in the form of thunder, lightning and ice upon her enemies.

It was in this moment of not being able to find rest when Shadowheart realized that their groups’ leader was likely still outside, unsheltered and keeping watch through the brutal storm. She sighed and mumbled out loud, “that idiot,” before wrapping a blanket around herself and peeking her head out of her tent.

She was, unfortunately, right. Walker sat on the log by where they’d normally have a fire burning, but instead he was staring at a steaming pile of coal while wrapped in a drenched wool blanket. She could see that he was shivering though he would likely never admit it.

She called out to him, “You donkey! Get inside!”

He whipped around and faced her, teeth chattering and curly hair dripping wet, “I can’t! I’m keeping watch!”

“We will survive one night without your vigilance, if you don’t come inside you’ll get sick at the very least and we can’t have that, or worse. Come on!”

He stared at her indignantly.

“Come here.” She demanded.

Walker faced an internal battle between keeping watch as was his duty, and following orders like the good soldier he was. He eventually decided on the latter, “Fine. I see no reason to argue with you.” He began to stand up.

“Good. That will serve you well in the future.” Shadowheart held the tent flaps open for him when he approached and then closed the tent back up tightly once he was inside. He had to duck slightly to fit his taller frame comfortably in the space of the tent.

Up close, Shadowheart could clearly see the bluish tint to his lips and that he had been soaked through all of his clothing.

“Strip.” She instructed simply.

“What?” A flush appeared on his cheeks as he gave her a surprised expression.

She rolled her eyes, “It’s not like that you fool, you can’t sleep in sopping wet clothes. Come on now.” She began to push the blanket off of his shoulders and let it fall in a wet heap to the floor.

He nodded while shivering and began to shyly lift his shirt off.

Shadowheart had meant what she said of course, she had no intention of exploring sensuality with him in this moment, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t indulge in a few glances at his body while he undressed in front of her.

Her eyes followed the bottom hem of his shirt as he lifted it and exposed his abdomen. He was incredibly toned and honestly, too attractive for his own good. And, she wasn’t ignorant to how his endless humility only made him more desirable.

His shirt came off and he added it to the blanket in a wet pile.

Shadowheart cast a simple cantrip, producing a wisp of flame in the palm of her hand in an effort to warm the air in the tent.

Walker undid the laces of his trousers and pulled them down, letting the wet fabric pool around his ankles before stepping out of them. He then bent down and gathered all of his wet garments in his arms and put them somewhere out of the way. He let out a sigh as he started to warm up.

Shadowheart doused the flame in her hand and then moved tentatively to place her hand on his upper arm. He shuddered at the warmth that her palm retained from the spell and at the touch she gave him.

Walker's eyes fell closed as he unconsciously leaned a little closer to her, “You’re so… warm…” he mumbled.

“Come here, then.”

Shadowheart reached for him more definitively now, pulling him fully into an embrace. He couldn’t help but let out a whimper as she held him close and he tucked his face into the crook of her neck.

His skin was freezing. She considered her next words carefully, trying to strike a balance between genuine concern for his safety and a little bit of interest, “You know,” she offered, “hypothermia is best avoided by skin-to-skin contact.”

Walker did not respond for a few seconds as his mind raced to understand this enigma of a woman. Then he just sputtered, “I… I…”

“Calm yourself. It’s only an offer. Would you like to take me up on it?”

All Walker could do was nod sheepishly.

Shadowheart smirked but hid it from him. She let go of him and then began to undress herself as well. She sloughed her leather top off of her shoulders and let it fall to the ground. She relished in the feeling of having Walker’s eyes so obviously on her exposed torso.

She gave him a sly smile and then hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her leggings and underwear and slid them down her legs before kicking everything aside. She watched as Walker’s gaze followed her movements.

“Like what you see, paladin?”

Her words startled him and he looked back up to her eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat.

“You can say so,” she continued, “I don’t mind.”

He nodded, “You’re… gorgeous.”

She stepped forward and placed her hand on his abs, sliding her fingers down over his muscles, following the trail of hair that graced the center of his taut stomach. He gasped and shuddered as her delicate fingers danced over a hip bone and teased as the very edge of his briefs.

“You’re sweet… and not so bad to look at, yourself.”

“Shadowheart…” he breathed, “Wha-… what is this?”

She looked up at him, “Whatever you want it to be, Walker.”

She watched the shy, nervousness leave him in an instant and the sweet thing standing before her was suddenly the confident man she had come to know in battle.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked.

She smiled and nodded in response. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her body close to his and captured her lips in a kiss. It wasn’t the soft and chaste kiss they had already shared, but it wasn’t hard either. It communicated a deeper want without being overpowering.

Gods how she loved when he acted on the things that he really wanted.

The paladin had done nothing but surprise her since they first met. When he saved her life on the Mindflayer nautiloid she expected that he was good. She wasn’t wrong about that at all. He was, first and foremost, a good man. Sometimes to an irritating degree. He had insisted that they help the Tiefling refugees in the grove. Insisted that they involve themselves in the local hags’ business to rescue that girl, Mayrina. Insisted on rescuing Volo from a fate he simply brought onto himself. Insisted on talking with every animal they came across. And yet, she couldn’t complain because his focus on their larger goal of finding a solution to their tadpole problem never wavered.

As a result of his good-nature, she expected him to, at the least, be wary of her faith in Shar once he knew the truth, and at worst, outright condemn her for it. But his reaction was neither. Where some of the other companions looked at her with doubt, he only expressed kindness and genuine curiosity. He asked her questions and graciously allowed her to correct any misunderstandings he had. He never pried. He never judged. He never insulted. It became easy to trust him after that, which surprised her.

He surprised her in a myriad of ways as they dove into the goblin encampment. He understood her discomfort with being in a temple to Selune despite the fact that untold years had passed since actual worship of the Moonwitch took place there. She watched as the man got down on his knees and groveled to a filthy goblin just so that he could deftly sneak a lightly magical ring off of the creatures’ toe by kissing it. She watched as he stripped his armor off and submitted to a religious beating from a priest of Loviatar for truly, no good reason. There was a moment when she wondered if he only did it because he thought she might enjoy the spectacle, but she dropped that foolish notion from her mind quickly, surely he wouldn’t.

She used the tadpole connection to share a memory with him. Her only memory. The one thing she had left, wherein she was nothing more than a scared and vulnerable little girl. She didn’t know why exactly she shared it with him, she just felt… compelled somehow. She knew that he would be kind and honestly, she just felt like she needed that. When the playback of the memory ended, he took her hand in his and gave her a reassuring squeeze and thanked her for sharing, while giving her that sweet smile and an unspoken but nonetheless understood, “I’ve got you.”

It was then that Shadowheart knew it would be hard, impossible even, to escape her attraction to him.

But even with all of that, she expected him to fall for someone like Karlach or Wyll. Someone kind and soft, like him. But he surprised her in that regard, too. He had shared a bottle of wine with her one night and he kissed her for the first time. He kissed her. She was as shocked as she was elated, but she expected him to regret it the following morning. He didn’t. He just looked at her with those puppy dog eyes of his and said that he wanted more with her in the future. And who was she to deny such a kind request from their heroic leader?

Sometime in between then and now, the most shocking thing of all occurred. The paladin broke his oath. Shadowheart didn’t catch when or how it happened, but one morning he awoke as an Oathbreaker and although she had a million questions for him, they hadn’t talked about it. He hadn’t changed, really. He was still the same, good man. Still a beacon of light and hope. Still respectful of life and nature, just a little… off. He offered a little less healing and a little more violence. He had something darker at his disposal, but he was still him. If he had simply made a mistake along the way in all of the chaos they were up against, she wondered why he wouldn’t just atone and immediately retake his oath. If something deeper had genuinely changed for him, like no longer aligning with the ideals of his oath, she expected to see evidence of that, but she never did. Regardless, she didn’t feel like it was her place to ask and she felt that he would tell her if he wanted to. Not knowing gnawed at her all the same, though.

But now, here she was, naked in her tent, kissing this beautiful and confusing man, wondering why this attraction she felt was all-consuming and hoping against all hope that he wouldn’t change his mind about her.

His hands moved upwards to hold her face. He kissed her more and more and she felt herself melting in his grasp. The storm outside and his touch clouded her senses such that any thoughts and anxieties left her behind. She could only feel his impossibly soft lips and his gentle, yet battle-hardened hands. She could only feel his pulse throbbing in his neck and his shiver as she traced the contours of his chest with her index finger. She could only feel him pull her closer and bury his fingers into her hair.

He surprised her again as he effortlessly picked her up and then laid her down on the bedroll, hovering over top of her as he continued to kiss her lips. She would have given herself freely to him that night but he never took more. He only pressed his lips to hers in an incomprehensible number of sweet, adoring and reverent kisses, until he finally opened his eyes again and stared at her for a minute while catching his breath.

“That… you’re incredible…” he said.

She smiled, “Are you feeling warmer, now?”

He chuckled and nodded, “Yes, very. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

His cheeks flushed. He was back to being awkward and not knowing what to do next. She decided to save him from himself and said, “Come here, silly,” offering her arms out.

He nodded and laid down and embraced her strongly. They got comfortable beneath the blankets and snuggled. Shadowheart naturally found herself resting her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. Her heart just about burst when he placed a tender kiss on her forehead as he drifted off to sleep. This night was sweet and intimate and unlike anything she ever dreamed of experiencing in her life.

She almost missed it. A poorly timed rumble of thunder outside obscured part of his sleepy, mumbled confession. But once she processed the words he had uttered, she felt a vice grip her heart.

“I love you.” He had said. Quiet, half-asleep, whispered against her head.

Shadowheart’s mind raced. It was so soon. Too soon. Less than two tendays of even knowing each other. He barely knew anything about her, how could he so easily say such a thing?

She didn’t have to respond. He wouldn’t expect a response. It would be easy to pretend that she hadn’t heard him at all. The words can disappear into the night, no harm no foul.

Her attraction to him was clear. She even felt affection, care, for him. She liked how good he was. She liked his kindness. His strength. But love? Did she love him?

A crack of lightning lit the sky and the wound on her hand flared with searing pain. Shar. There she was. Using pain instead of words to make her point clear. Shadowheart tried her best to understand. She really did. That could not be denied. The proper conclusion was that the physical pain she felt now was a reminder of the emotional pain she’d feel later if she fostered this attachment any further. Exchanged glances were fine. Kisses in the night were fine. Even sex would be fine so long as it was meaningless. But anything more? Dangerous. Undoubtedly.

Shadowheart stared at the ceiling of her tent and tried not to stir so that she wouldn’t wake him. She needed him. He kept her safe. He would help her complete her mission. He was the only true ally she had. The only one she trusted. So she couldn’t just walk away. But she didn’t want to lose this either. She didn’t want to break his heart by saying, “I think we’ve gotten too close, let’s just keep focus on the mission.” That would be a betrayal to herself, a lie.

The wound seared again. She bit her lip hard to stifle the cry of pain that threatened to escape. If he knew how she was hurting over him, he would feel so guilty.

She could make this work, she thought. Subterfuge. Stealth. Stolen affections with this man wouldn’t hurt. Her mind would soon be occupied by learning more about the Dark Justiciar presence in this area, anyways. Lady Shar could indulge Shadowheart having someone to share a tent with for companionship when the rest of her, almost all of her, was so devoted to serving the Dark Lady. It would work. It would be okay.

She made a silent vow then, that if she was ever capable of giving and receiving love, it would be with him. She would never let him go, no matter how badly it hurt. The pain she could take, but though she was loath to admit it, she didn’t know that she would ever be able to bear the loss of him. Not after knowing what having him felt like.

Shadowheart finally let her eyes close as she snuggled in closer to Walker. With a few deep breaths, the pain was put away in a box somewhere in the back of her mind where she could ignore it. His scent. His heartbeat. His soft skin. All of that felt so, so much stronger than the pain.

She woke to soft kisses peppering her cheeks. For a minute, she just relished in it while pretending to still be asleep so that he wouldn’t stop so soon, but then his lips drifted closer to her ear and started to kiss along the edge of it and it tickled and felt amazing and over stimulating and she couldn’t help but squirm and giggle and she gasped, “Careful! Sensitive ears!”

He just smiled and whispered to her, “I know…”

She rolled over and cuddled into him and he started to massage her neck and back without her even asking for it and she immediately melted. She let out a long sigh and said, “Lady of Sorrows guide me… gods… what did I do to deserve that?”

“Nothing at all, love. You shall not need to do anything to deserve my affections.”

There was that word again. Now a pet name. The closeness. The tenderness. The love. It was all getting dangerously close to being too much for her to handle. She wanted it… gods she wanted it… but the doubt was in whether she really could get away with having it.

“Walker…” she began.

“Yes?” His morning voice was like the finest wine she could imagine. It was deep and rich. She wanted to drown in that voice. It was far too easy for him to knock her legs out from under her. That’s why it was so risky, she realized. If he ever came all the way between her and Shar…

No. She couldn’t think like that. Not now.

“Nothing. Nevermind. Just… keep touching me like that.”

Their morning in the tent somehow simultaneously felt like it lasted multiple, blissful years, and less than a second.

The shape of a one-horned Tiefling materialized outside and called out, “Hey Shads, the suns up already! Dontcha gotta commune or whatever? Also, we don’t know where Walker is, have you seen him?”

Walker was about to announce his presence when Shadowheart quickly put a finger over his lips to shush him and said, “I’ll be right out, Karlach. And, I’m sure he’s around, probably took cover somewhere nearby from the storm last night.”

Walker turned and looked at her with a confused expression as Karlach's sliouette shrugged and walked away.

“I’m not ashamed,” Shadowheart whispered, “I just don’t want the whole camp to get the wrong idea about the time we’re spending together. Is that okay?”

Walker nodded and whispered back, “Okay.”

“Also, they’re all idiots if they haven’t noticed your pile of clothes outside the tent yet. But, if they have noticed and they’re just teasing, I don’t want to add fuel to the fire.”

He nodded again. She didn’t know if she was making sense to him, but she appreciated that he went along with it nonetheless. She didn’t know if she was making much sense to herself, either. She just knew that she wasn’t ready to face the reactions of everyone else to their… coupling? Their courtship? She didn’t even know what to call it. But she felt that the more people who knew, the realer it became, and the more likely it would be that she’d have to put an end to it lest her Lady deem it to be too much of a distraction. For now, this was just for them and the four walls of her tent. She prayed that Walker could sense that without her needing to say it.

Walker kissed her softly one last time and then slipped out of the tent easily enough. Everyone was gathered around the campfire enjoying breakfast so they didn’t notice him quietly get new clothes from the storage chest then dart into the treeline to get redressed before making a big show of coming back to the camp, acting like he had slept in the woods.

Shadowheart had begun her morning prayers by then but she couldn’t help opening one eye slightly when she heard his voice again as he joined the others by the fire. She giggled to herself at his performance and watched as he fixed two plates of food.

When he stood up and began to walk back to her, she sealed both eyes shut again while he quietly set the second plate of food down on the stool next to her. This had become part of his routine every day. She prayed, and he brought her breakfast while the food was still hot, even going to lengths to cover the plate with a silver lid that he found somewhere along the road.

This time though, he added something new to the procedure. He stood in front of her and leaned down, placing a kiss on the top of her head, before walking away.

She almost cried. She could have.

But she bit down on her lip and batted away the pain in her hand and continued her prayers.

Blessed Nightsinger, witness our adoration.

He had kissed her like she was something to be adored.

See how we serve you, only you.

He was so gentle…

We have emptied our hearts of falsehoods.

I don’t love him. I don’t love him.

We have vanquished your foes.

He could light the darkest night… erase every shadow…

In darkness, we see your truth. Embrace us, your loyal warriors.

Please, Lady of Sorrows… please… embrace me… I have only ever served you…