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#crack meme
hacked-by-jake · 24 days
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FBI hates this trick, MC loves it 😌
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latesummerwriter · 1 year
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Just finished King Of Wrath by Ana Huang and im obsessed! Here a some unhinged meme that don't leave my mind after i read the book
Warning Spoilers!!
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rp-meme-world · 2 years
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for muses who won’t get out of bed
mix of fluff, crack, and angst possible triggers: depression
❝ get up! ❞
❝ rise and shine, sweetie! ❞
❝ come on! the sun is out! ❞
❝ don’t make me bring out the tickle monster! ❞
❝ come on, we have stuff to do today. ❞
❝ you are the laziest person i know. ❞
❝ if you aren’t up in the next thirty seconds i’m pouring ice water on your head. ❞
❝ what are you gonna do when you have to pee? ❞
❝ you slept through your alarm again. ❞
❝ come on, i’m already dressed! ❞
❝ no. i’m not coming back to bed. you’re getting up. ❞
❝ you already used all your sick days. ❞
❝ five... four... three... two... don’t make me get to one. ❞
❝ five more minutes. that’s it. ❞
❝ you said ‘five more minutes’ an hour ago. ❞
❝ are you feeling okay? ❞
❝ how long have you been laying there? ❞
❝ come on, [name]. it’s been over a day. ❞
❝ hey... can you hear me? ❞
❝ [name], come on. this isn’t funny. ❞
❝ if you don’t answer me, i’m calling someone. ❞
alternatively:
❝ it’s summer vacation! ❞
❝ it’s saturday! ❞
❝ five more minutes... ❞
❝ but it’s so warm... ❞
❝ please, please just leave me alone. ❞
❝ why can’t you just let me rot in peace?! ❞
❝ go away. ❞
❝ leave me alone to die. ❞
❝ no. i’m too sad. ❞
❝ i don’t feel good. ❞
❝ why don’t you join me? ❞
❝ come on. come back to bed. ❞
❝ no. i told you i’m not going. ❞
❝ can you leave the room first? i’m literally naked. ❞
❝ i already called off work. ❞
actions:
[pour] to pour cold water on them
[feet] to tickle their feet
[shake] to shake them
[horn] to scare them with an air horn
[breakfast] to bring them breakfast in bed
[curtain] to open the curtains, bringing light into the room
[shove] to shove them off the bed
[water] to put their hand in warm water while they’re asleep
[ankles] to grab them by their ankles and yank them out of bed
[sheets] to pull off their sheets/blanket
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spunsugarmusings · 10 months
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Send 🧋to give my muse a Grimace shake
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This is how Volume 8 ends I pinky promise 
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whatnotmemes · 1 year
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------------WILL WOOD’S “IN CASE I MAKE IT” SENTENCE STARTERS change as needed. mentions of death, grief, mental illness, etc.
TOMCAT DISPOSABLES “Happy to be home, safe and warm.” “Here’s where I’ll be raising my kids if I can find someone to start a family with.” “Is there cheese in the great beyond?” “Mind me not and I’ll mind my own.” “I think it saw my face.” “I’ll make it through again. I have before.” “C’mon, now, what’s one more?” “My dreams were finally a reality.” “My struggles had a happy ending.” “They must want to be friends.” “Something’s not quite right.” “Guess I’ll just go rest my head.” “I held on so tight, for so long.” “Was that all there was to this?”
BECOMING THE LASTNAMES “I've learned to pick my battles by losing most I've fought.” “I'll always do it my way, even if that's just the same way I was taught.” "Wow, can you believe we really made it?" “I know you don’t want kids, but think about a daughter.” “I learned from a good father.” “I mean, sure, they messed me up, but I think that's just the gig.” “Maybe it's just some hormones that kick in in your late twenties.” “I have laid a lot of women, and now I'd like to just lay down.” “Marriage always scared me.” “Marriage always scared me, but I'd like to have a last love.” “Can we be just like my parents when I was young?” “My frontal lobe's done growing, this might just be how I'm wired.” “I've made more mistakes than simple empty moments.” “There’ll be scalpers at the cemetery gates.” “If we grow old together, will you talk to my headstone?”
CICADA DAYS “The greener grass grows where the wildfires fertilize.” “God knows crying ain't gonna change a thing.” “It just feels inhumane to lose this much.” “The ground looks soft enough to bury this now.” “Oh, please, oh no!” “Do nothing. Nothing works.” “Don’t do that if it hurts.” “Let all my red flags fade to white. Yeah, I give up.” “Don’t let me leave.” “I’ll only take more than I gave.” “Okay, I’ll pack my stuff.” “My god, what have I done?”
EUTHANASIA “I was right there, while you fought tooth and nail.” “Say you’re not scared.” “Say you know I love you.” “I know that I’m wrong.” “I want to believe that you'll remember me when you're just memory.” “Can I stop by and say hello?” “Sorry. I would take it back if I could.” “To whom is it I talk?” “It’s okay. It’ll all be over soon.” “I’d never let a bad thing happen to you.” “Everybody dies fighting for their lives, just trying to survive.” “Now I know why we say that there's a better place that waits beyond the grave.” “I choose to believe that we'll meet in sweet dreams.”
FALLING UP “I’m pulling up daisies.” “Would or could the impact kill me?” “Shoot for the stars. Be the next big constellation.” “You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.” “Only plastic flowers never die.” “What do you know of control?” “Cut ties- shed the dead weight.” “I ain’t saying it’s fate, but there are no mistakes.” “Am I falling up?” “Is now really a good time for a new tattoo?” “The larger they are, the harder they tend to fall.” “From such height, life looks awful small.” “Second star to the right and straight on till you die.”
THAT’S ENOUGH, LET’S GET YOU HOME “Haunt my bedroom at night.” “Let’s get you home.” “They say ‘Grow up, be a man.’“ “Oh, my god, what’s wrong with me?” “Come and sweep me off my knees.” “I’d rather stay asleep than never see you wake up next to me.” “You seemed fine just a few days ago.” “Never mind, you win!” “Far too late came far too soon.” “Come, but keep your hands off of me.” “Go on back to bed, my love.” “Are you at all like me? Do you know what I mean?” “Alright, that’s enough. Let’s get you home.”
UM, IT’S KIND OF A LOT “I’m afraid of leaving my house.” “I’m afraid of dying of cancer.” “I’m afraid of losing my mind.” “I’ve never been afraid of no one breaking my heart.” “I’m afraid of damn near everything.” “I’ve grown used to fear.” “I love you so much it scares me half to death.” “I’m not used to this. How did it happen?” “I’m afraid that you’ll change your mind.” “I’m afraid there’s somebody better.” “I’m afraid you’ll notice all my flaws.” “I’m afraid I’ll come on too strong.” “I’ve never been afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve.” “I'm not used to fear of losing something I hold dear.” “Please excuse my constant need to self-aggrandize.” “Wait, let me think, hold on, I got this.” “Uhh, I mean, it's kind of a lot...”
HALF-DECADE HANGOVER “Wonder how I didn’t die.” “This is not my life.” “I’m no survivor. I only happened to survive.” “Bitch, I am reality.” “Me and sweet Evan Williams got a date down on Avenue A.�� “Either this, in jail, or dead.” “Jesus Christ, my aching head.” “Man, you call that recovered?” “You said, ‘You’ve got your whole life ahead.’ Oh great, another half a century to live to regret.” “I’d rather be anybody else instead.” “I can’t make amends for things I can't remember.” “I can only say I'm sorry and occasionally pray.” “Guess you’ll just have to take my word that I’ve changed.”
VAMPIRE REFERENCE IN A MINOR KEY “I’m turning over the same old leaf again.” “If it weren’t for the ‘everything’, then anything could happen.” “If anybody needs me, I’ll be in my coffin.” “I dig you like a tomb.” “I'm sorry for the things I've done and all I ask of you.” “If you still want me, come and find me in my coffin.” “You could come knocking and I’ll raise hell for you.” “Maybe I should switch up the style of my mistakes.” “I'd kill the man I am for one more chance to be yours.” “No, I ain't begging. I'm just saying it's an option.”
YOU LIKED THIS (OKAY, COMPUTER!) “We are eager to get to know you.” “You are only human, and we are here to help.” “You will finally be not only seen, but witnessed.” “You are broken and we will heal you.” “We work in our own proprietary mysterious ways.” “We have a plan for everyone, free of charge.” “Breaking news: the news is broken.” “Your enemies have been radicalized by an unknown force but you have stayed rational by educating yourself here.” “The revolution begins here.” “Your growth is organic and natural, like a field of poppies, carcinoma, and tick fit to burst.”
THE MAIN CHARACTER “I'm that first person they talk about in all the books.” “I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who don't do it by it.” “Enough lefts don't make a right but two wrongs do.” “If you shake your fist at snakes in grass it looks like punching down.” “God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being.” “I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy.” “Don’t come at me.” “I’m the main character and you have to like me.” “Villains are everywhere- that's how I know that I'm the hero.” “Judge me by what my cover shows.” “We all do what we need to to get through. It’s nothing new.” “I ain’t done a fucking thing to you!”
AGAINST THE KITCHEN FLOOR “I don't owe you my heart, and I don't owe you my body.” “You should know that I'm sorry for being careless with you.” “I owe you more than I'm pretty sure I ever could give anybody.” “I swear I'm really trying.” “Get it together, ___- know and do better.” “It just don't come natural to me to think that you'd want me for mе.” “I'm sorry. I promise, I'm doing my bеst.” “I just haven't learned how to be human as you are yet.” “I still don't know who you are. I only know that I'm still lonely.” “You gave me your heart. I only gave you my body.” “I’ve lived more lives than enough.” “I'm not a real person- just the shit you can't make up.” “I don't know why you would care, but I'm really trying.” “How did I cause so much harm?” “I’m sorry, but this can’t go on.” “I know you got scars of your own.” “Hide my knives before you go.” “I’ll either live or die alone.” “I will die trying.” “I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress.” "I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible.” “I swear, I'm so fucking sorry.” “I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all.” "Someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all.”
SEX, DRUGS, ROCK ‘N’ ROLL “I guess I’m my own boss, but everyone’s my supervisor.” “I just turned 27 and I’m dying of old age.” “Guess I’m just selfish. I wanna have but not be had.” “This is what I choose to do with my redeeming quality.” “It’s not a gift if you pay for it, but I don’t want no charity.” “I spent all my years to end up right here, and now I really think I’d rather leave.” “I hate sex, I hate drugs, and I hate rock n’ roll.” “I hate proving that I’m still human after all.” “It wouldn’t mix well with my meds.” “I hate to be ‘that guy’, but I’m not that guy anymore.” “I’m not that guy anymore and I made goddamn sure he’s dead.”
WILLARD! “You know I couldn’t hurt a fly.” “I've nearly cried for moths that die at porchlight lamps.” “I myself have been stepped on so many times, it's started to feel like my place.” “Is there room for me in your cage?” “Animals are people too, but these people are animals.” “This cage is inside out.” “It’s awful out here, ____.” “I've never understood what humans do and want.” “It’s quite confusing to me to try to connect.” “These carnivores will no more use my heart.” “They'll call me crazy but their words all seem made-up to me.” “Maybe they just need more friendship like yours.” “You've got a friend in me. Let's go and make more enemies.” “It’s dangerous out here, ____.” “It’s lonely out here, ____.”
WHITE NOISE “They paint the walls with colors that you’re not meant to notice.” “You blend into the background.” “It sorta sounds like a retro top 40 but wrong.” “You’re not meant to sing along. It isn’t that kind of song.” “You can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear.” “It’s theoretically dense. It’s impressive.” “It challenges Western notions of art.” “It’s going places ‘cause it comes from the heart.” “It makes no statement, but does so quite loudly.” “It’s an aesthetic. I mean, an anesthetic.” “Does it cure cancer?” “It begs the question, just to tell you the answer.” “Do you believe in the power of silence?” “You fill your head with thoughts you find you can't even feel.” “I know it's hard, but they’re not who you are.”
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midnight-glasses · 2 years
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WHY DOES THIS POST EXIST?
It exists because I had an epiphany and that epiphany is Carla Tsukinami is a Scolipede and no one can change my opinion about it!
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dercolaris · 1 year
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Gf: What's going on in your head?
Me: Nothing.
My head: Thihi, look, Conditioner Gordon.
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@shin-arei thanks for your top level Photoshop skills 👌
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unicornlovers10 · 1 year
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I can't remember if I've posted this on Tumblr, but I have posted it on Wattpad. So here's some Raven Empress AU!TOH crack. It's basically some out of context spoilers, so I'm putting it under the cut.
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innerslumber · 1 year
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I literally had "Don't forget to send Nav a cute ask" in my social to do list lol for like, uh, a week . . . Then came time to think about what the heck qualifies as "cute" atm, and then I was like - wait, I know what she'd like to open her tumblr to . . . 😎
So here, have a meme ~
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Omfg the absolute chaotic crack of this meme you've made is sending me lolololol. Thanks so much hon. I always welcome Chris in my ask box lololol
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bisexualvader · 26 days
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what my notifs look like currently
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hacked-by-jake · 8 months
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Headcanon:
Jake, Dan, Thomas, Richy and Alan start a boy band
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it's 6 am, what am I doing here?
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latesummerwriter · 9 months
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Fourth wing is better than i thought so here's the meme that i thought of while im reading the book
WARNING SPOILERS!!
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super-sootica · 7 months
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midnightcowboy1969 · 3 months
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My master’s project is about climate change and when I was to write “emphasis in original” I wrote “emissions in original”
this is your brain on the climate crisis
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blakbonnet · 8 months
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haven't stopped thinking about this actually [x]
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