#cradling a baby talkin about oh you wanna have a family with me???

[patrocles]

I am a mother. I’m just not theirs.

THE ENGLISH - Part Two, The Path of the Dead.

#the english #the english 2022 #chaske spencer #emily blunt #tvgif #userstream #filmtv #eli whipp #cornelia locke #cradling a baby talkin about oh you wanna have a family with me??? #eli now u know damn well that aint what she meant u aint slick #'with you' (mickey voice) its a surprise tool that will help us later #theenglishedit

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Two

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut.

a/n: not proofread fam, I didn’t have the strength. 

Masterpost

It took Harry nearly an hour to get you to calm down after you said goodbye to your grandmother at the airport. You cried the entire car ride home, and you cried for a while at home. He chalked some of it up to your hormones, but he also knew it was just hard for you to say goodbye to her.

“It really was a nice visit. I’m glad she got to stay with us.” You say to him as you lay on top of him on the sofa.

“Me too, she’s a hoot.” He rubs your back up and down. He was happy you weren’t crying anymore. “She’ll be back soon enough. She wants to go dress shoppin’ with yeh remember?”

“I know, but I don’t want her spending the money coming up for every little thing. Like if she comes up for that, she probably won’t come for the bridal shower…” You sigh.

“You both will just have to decide what’s most important.”

“I’ll definitely need her for the dress shopping. It’ll be bad enough with my mom and sisters judging every little thing I might like. Rachel’s the best at picking things out. I’d rather just go with the girls and Nannie.”

“So you should do that. Listen, this is supposed to be fun for us. Don’t worry about other people, do things the way you want to do them.”

“I suppose with Erica doing it all before me, there are things my mom can get out of her system. We’re going dress shopping with her next month. I feel like I’m about to get really busy. El said she wants her bridal party to pick out their dresses soon. And I have class…”

“Take a deep breath. You’ll get overwhelmed if you think about too much at once.”

“You’re right, sorry.”

“S’okay, I know it can be easy to get stressed out. At least we have the whole day off together today. What do you feel like doin’?”

“I’d like to have sex, but my period is really bad…”

“We could-“

“Harry, I don’t think a shower could even help right now.” You groan. “I could suck you off.”

“It’s only fun if I get to reciprocate.”

“Not true.” You scooch down his body. “Now I kinda really want it anyways.”

“Oh you do?”

“Mhm.”

You get between his legs and unzip his shorts. You kiss on his lower stomach as you palm him through his boxers. He runs a hand through your hair, as you continue. You tug everything down just enough to get his hard dick out. You spit into your right hand to stroke him for a bit, running your thumb across his tip. Harry’s breath hitches and his head rolls back. You continue to pump him while your lips wrap around his tip.

“Ugh, fuck me.” He groans, and you can’t help but smirk when you look up at him. “Wipe that look off your face, now.”

Your mouth falls open and he pushes your head down further on him. You take the hint and swirl your tongue around him. His hips thrust up and you feel him hit the back of your throat. You choke on him for a moment and you feel tears prick at your eyes. But you work through it, and swallow.

“Shit, ngh.”

You loved hearing home moan like this, it only made you want to work harder for him. You bob your head up and down, really making a mess of it. You look back up at him, trying to give him innocent eyes as you spit trailed down your chin.

“Y/N.” He breathes as he looks at you.

You pop off him just for a moment to pump him. Your other hand rests on his hip and you give it a squeeze. Your mouth goes back down on him, and you both groan.

“That’s it, baby, that’s so good, fuck.”

You cradle his balls as you suck on him, and he comes into your mouth. You continue to suck until you’ve gotten every last drop into your mouth. You sit up and wipe the corners of your mouth and tuck him back into his pants. He watches as you get up to go to the kitchen. He knew you were going to rinse your mouth out like you always did. You come back to him, and lay in your spot on top of him like you were.

“You’re so fuckin’ good at that, thank you.” He kisses your forehead and you practically purr in his arms. There was nothing like a forehead kiss.

“My pleasure, babe.”

“Wanna go out to dinner tonight? You and I haven’t been able to celebrate just the two of us yet.”

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot actually. Can we get Italian?”

“We can get whatever you want, my angel.” You nuzzle further into his chest and enjoy the smell of his cologne.

//

After falling asleep on top of him, you wake up to the feeling of being carried to your bedroom.

“Harry?” You mumble.

“Sorry, I needed a wee, and so I thought I’d just set you down in here.”

“That’s okay.” You yawn as he puts you down on the bed. “Probably shouldn’t sleep the day away.”

He uses the toilet and comes back to sit next to you.

“But being lazy once in a while is nice, isn’t it? I feel like we had this crazy busy summer, it’s nice to just relax.”

“How do you see things at the studio now that all the kids are back in school?”

“Everyone and their brother wants a fall photoshoot. The leaves are going to peak soon, so everyone wants these like harvest style pictures. Plus, we’re already starting on holiday photos. Mariah suggested doing Santa Sessions, so we’re gonna get those booked out soon.”

“Are you going to have Santa there?”

“No, it’s more like decorations, the backdrop would look like his workshop, stuff like that. I don’t know, it’s her project.” He shrugs. “Either way, we’re stayin’ busy, and that’s the most important thing.” You nod.

“I think I’m gonna take a shower before we go out later. I need to wake up.”

“How come you’re so tired, baby?” He rubs your back.

“Think it’s just my period, makes me exhausted sometimes.”

“I’m gonna take Buster out for a walk then.”

“Alright.”

You get into the shower and stand there for a few minutes. You shave your legs and anywhere else you feel like you need to, and get out. You blow dry your hair and throw some curls in. You walk out into the living room in your towel, with your underwear on of course. Harry wasn’t back yet, and it was raining outside.

You grab your phone and call him. He doesn’t answer.

“What the…”

You race back to the bedroom and throw some sweats on. You slip on your sneakers and grab an umbrella and out the door you go. You’re not sure where to go at first, but you walk the usual route you and Harry always take Buster. It was absolutely pouring. You were starting to get nervous. You squint as you see a figure walking towards you.

“Harry!” You gasp and run down the street to cover him with the umbrella, not that it mattered now. His eyes were puffy and red and his head was hanging. “Wh…where’s Buster?”

“I don’t know.” You both turn to walk towards the parking garage. “He heard some thunder and slipped away from me. I ran after him and called for him, but…he just got away from me.”

“Oh no! Well, we have to find him!”

“I know!”

“Don’t yell at me!”

“I’m not!”

You both get into his car, and start driving around.

“Jesus, it’s gonna get dark soon. My poor baby.” You start tearing up.

“He never runs away. The one time I have a slightly loose grip on the leash-“

“You can’t blame yourself, it was an accident. We just need to find him before it gets dark. I’m going to text Niall to see if he’ll wait outside our building. Maybe he’ll come back.”

“Good idea.”

“Harry, drive towards the park near the studio, it’s not that far from here and he’s used to going there.”

“Okay.”

Your entire body was shaking. You didn’t know what you would do if your little boy was lost forever.

“Y/N! There by that tree! Think that’s him?!”

“It could be! Let me get out.”

You basically jump out of the moving car and run towards the large tree in the park.

“Buster!”

He looks up at you, but doesn’t come towards you. He’s whimpering where he sits, frightened by the cold and the thunder.

“Baby, it’s me! It’s mumma! Don’t be scared.” You slowly approach him and stick your hand out. Harry runs toward you both after parking the car. “See, it’s daddy too! Nothing to be scared of.”

“I think his leg is hurt…”

“Oh my god, I think you’re right!”

Harry approaches him and picks him. He’s soaked, but right now it didn’t matter.

“Babe, sit in the back with him, I have a blanket in the trunk we can wrap around him.”

“Okay.”

Harry gets him in the car while you grab the blanket. You wrap it around him and try to comfort him.

“I’m gonna drive to the vet.” You hum your response as you continue to try to calm Buster down.

“Do you think a car hit him?”

“I have no idea…maybe he slipped? Can a dog roll its ankle?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

Harry gets you all to the vet, and carries Buster inside. You check him in and they’re able to take him right away due to the emergency. You’re told to wait in the waiting room. Harry keeps pacing back and forth, his nerves were shot.

“Mr. and Mrs. Styles?” A nurse comes out. You think to correct her, but now isn’t the time.

“Yes?” You say standing up. Harry also notices you don’t correct her, and for a second he feels a little better.

“Come on back with me.” She smiles.

You take Harry’s hand and follow her to where Buster was. You hear him yip, it was like he was good as new.

“We had to put a brace on his back left leg. He has a slight sprain. We’re not entirely sure how. It didn’t look like he was hit by anything, he could have slipped and fell the wrong way. We gave him a shot to numb the pain as well.”

“Oh, thank you.” You throw your arms around him and he licks your cheek. “Mumma was so scared.” You kiss him a ton. Harry pats his back and gives him kisses too. “Don’t you ever run away from your daddy again, do you under stand me?”

“Miss…he’s a dog…not a small child.” She says with a blank expression. You turn to look at her slowly. Before you can say anything, Harry does.

“Listen, I’m sure you have to deal with stupid people all day, but this dog is our child at the moment, so if my fiancé wants to give him a stern talkin’ to for running away from me, then she will, and you can just keep your mouth shut, yeah?”

“Right.” She coughs nervously. “So, here’s his prescription, and some details on how to help his leg. You can check out up front, we’ll want to see him for a follow up.”

Harry takes the papers from her, and sets him down on the floor. He has a slight limp, but he’s able to walk. You practically white knuckle his leash as you lead him back to the lobby. They give you the medicine Buster will need, and out the door you go. You sit in the back with him again.

“Thanks for the backup in there.”

“Don’t mention it, I wouldn’t let some stranger disrespect you like that. I don’t care how silly she thought it was. He was bad runnin’ from me, even if he was scared, and he should know it.”

“We should stay in with him tonight, we have plenty of leftovers we can have for dinner.”

“I was thinkin’ the same thing. We need to get his leg on a pillow.”

You had texted Niall earlier to let him know Buster was found and safe. Harry gets Buster up to the apartment. You drag his dog bed over near the sofa and put some extra pillows in there.

“I need to go change, my clothes are still soaked.”

You nod at him as he walks down the hall. If the situation wasn’t so serious you might have joked about how sexy he looked, but maybe you were save that for some pillow talk later. He comes back out a few minutes later and looks at you.

“Do you even feel like eating?” He asks.

“No, I’m sick to my stomach.”

“Me too.”

You both sit on the sofa and sigh.

“I’m very upset with him.” You say. “But I’m glad we found him before it got dark out.”

“I just feel so stupid for letiin’ him get away in the first place.”

“Harry, it’s not your fault. Accidents happen. He knows not to run away, we trained him right.”

“It was like everything happened in slow motion too. As soon as I heard the thunder we looked at each other and I knew he was gonna do somethin’.” Buster looks up at Harry. “Yeah, I’m talkin’ about you, bub.” Harry leans down and pats his head.

“I’m gonna go make us a little food.”

“Thought you were sick to your stomach.” He smirks.

“I’ve calmed down a bit. He’s here with us now, that’s all that matters.”

“Alright, well in that case, I’d love some kugel please.”

“You got it.” You stand up and kiss his forehead.

You go into the kitchen and make up a couple of plates. Harry thanks you when you come back out.

“Do you feel like watching a movie?” You ask him.

“Sure! What did you have in mind?”

“You should pick, we always watch what I wanna watch.”

Harry smiles and flips through the different options of movies on the various platforms you both paid for.

“Oh! How about When Harry Met Sally?”

“Yeah! You know I’ve never seen it, but I’ve always wanted to.” Harry’s jaw drops. “What?”

“The Film Studies minor slash Film Club president has never seen When Harry Met Sally?”

“Romantic Comedies isn’t exactly a genre you study extensively, although, I know this film set a precedent.”

“I wish more were like it, to be honest. So do you feel like watchin’ it?”

“Definitely, now’s a good a time as any.”

“This is one of my all-time favorites, Y/N, I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure I will. I love Billy Crystal.”

He starts the movie as you both continue to eat. When you’re both done he sets the plates on the side table, and puts his arm around your shoulders, pulling you in close to him. Both of you put your feet up on the ottoman.

“It’s like we’re on a little date, isn’t it?” He asks you.

“Mhm.” You smile and snuggle in closer.

“Now that my weekends are freeing up, I wanna make more time for dates. I wanna take you to the movies, and go out for drinks.”

“So you essentially want to establish a date night?”

“That sounds so…boring when you say it like that, but yeah. We both always have so much going on, I just want to make sure we make time for this.”

“Me too, Harry. We can definitely have a date night.” You squint at the TV. “Wait, so what’s happening, why are they driving together?”

“So, they both just graduated from college, and he’s dating Sally’s friend. They both needed to go to New York, so she told Harry to drive with Sally.”

“Ah, okay. And that’s how they met.”

“They meet multiple times, they keep findin’ each other over the years.”

“Aww, that’s so cute!”

You both enjoy the rest of the movie. You tear up a bit when they fight and then hug it out. You can’t help but laugh a little towards the end when Sally tells Harry how much she hates him, and then they kiss. It reminded you a little of 10 Things I Hate About You.

“What did you think?” Harry asks yawning as the credits roll.

“I really liked it! I can see where a lot of other films took things from. It had a really good pace too, like I never felt bored.”

“I’m so glad to hear you say that.” He says with relief. “I feel like I kept watchin’ you to see your reactions.”

“I know you were.” You both laugh. “Do you think we should let him sleep with us tonight? If he whines in the middle of the night for his medicine I wanna be able to hear him.”

“Good idea, yeah, he can come in with us.”

Harry picks Buster up and carried him to your room. You do your nightly routine and get into bed. Buster lays at the both of your feet and falls asleep quickly. He must be exhausted from the entire ordeal. You knew you and Harry both were.

“Who’s he goin’ to work with tomorrow?” He asks he climbs into bed with you. “I’d take him, but somethin’ tells me he’s gonna want his mum.”

“I was thinking the same thing. I don’t have many meetings, so he’ll be fine with me.”

You both kiss goodnight, and snuggle up to fall asleep.

//

Buster was able to walk, but not for long period of time, so Harry makes sure to help get him into your car. You didn’t carpool on Tuesdays because you saw Dr. Mara right after work. Once you get Buster up to your office, you give him some medicine.

“Mornin’, here’s your…aww poor thing, look at him.” He hands you your coffee.

“I know, he scared us so bad. I’m just glad we found him and he’s safe. It’s only a sprain, so if we do everything right he should be back to normal in a few weeks.”

“Well that’s good at least. Why’d he run from Harry again?”

“The thunder from the storm yesterday scared him. I think it was too loud for him.” Niall nods.

“So, I’ve just been told we have a meeting this morning, like now, in the conference room.”

“Are you serious?” You groan. “I haven’t even gotten settled.”

“I think it’s quick, Sharon said we don’t even need our laptops.”

“Okay.” You sigh. “C’mon, Buster.”

He gets up slowly and follows you and Niall down to the conference room.

“Congratulations!”

“Oh my gosh!”

Everyone from your division was there smiling at you, and there were bagels and doughnuts out on the table.

“What is all this?”

“Niall told us all yesterday that you got engaged so we wanted to celebrate with you!” Trish says.

“This is so sweet! Thank you all so much.” You look at Niall. “You’re too good to me, thank you.” You both hug.

“And I got that lox you like too.” He points to it.

“What a treat! I’m glad I had a really light breakfast this morning.”

Niall splits a bagel with you, and put some lox and cream cheese on it. You show everyone your ring, tell them how Harry proposed and showed off a few pictures. They each give Buster a little loving as well, and he soaked it up.

Eventually you go to your office, after thanking everyone for the millionth time, and get some work done. You had a ton of emails to catch up on, and a couple of projects that needed to get started. You weren’t even hungry when lunch rolled around, so you just hung out with Buster in Niall’s office.

“Our new intern starts tomorrow.” He tells you.

“Oh? And what’s their specialty?”

“Once again, we have a social media/video editor. His name is Zach, and he’s a senior. He actually goes to where you went.”

“Oh, really? Well that’ll be fun. Maybe I could be like a mentor or something.” You shrug.

“We having a meeting with him tomorrow morning. I guess we have him all day on Mondays and Wednesdays.”

“Didn’t the school year already start? Why is he just coming to us now?”

“That was on our end, HR took forever to get everything processed.”

“Awesome.” You scoff. “Well, at least he’ll actually be able to get work done being here for full days.”

“Yeah, definitely. Hopefully this one won’t have a crush on you.” He laughs.

“Stop it.” You groan. “I never want to think about Matt ever again. You know I ran into him months ago at the bar? It was when we went out for Sarah’s birthday.”

“Oh you mean the night none of you wore bras and you got that bartender’s number?”

“Yup.” You sigh. “And it wasn’t like I asked for the guy’s number.”

“I know, I’m just givin’ yeh a tough time.” He chuckles.

//

You period ended Wednesday morning, which meant you could finally surprise Harry with something he had wanted for a long time, but you had to wait the entire work day to give it to him. Around 9AM you had your meeting with Niall and Zach. Buster was being very needy with you, and at on the floor between your legs with his head in your lap.

“He really is just like his father, huh?”

“Niall!” You burst out laughing and nudge his arm. “You can’t say stuff like that. What if the intern was here?”

“He’s not here yet.” He laughs.

“Buster’s just not liking the medicine he has to take. I feel so bad, he only wants me. I think Harry feels like a bad father.”

“Don’t all kids want their mum when they don’t feel well?”

“Hi, I’m so sorry I’m late, it took me forever to find parking, and then I had to get all the way up here.”

A young man with short black hair and blue eyes walks in. He looked to be just under six feet. He was wearing a blue button up tucked into some khakis. He looked nice enough. Niall stands up to shake his hand, you do the same. He’s startled when he hears Buster yip.

“S’no problem, Zach. Please have a seat.” Niall says to him.

“Is there a dog in here?” He sits down adjacent to you.

“Yeah, sorry, this is Buster. I bring him to work with me most days, I hope that’s alright.”

“Oh, sure! I love dogs, just didn’t see him.”

“Well, I’m Niall and this is Y/N. We’ll be supervising you this semester. This is basically an intake meeting. We wanna make sure we’re putting you on projects that make sense, and all that.”

“You also go to my alma mater.” You smile.

“Seriously? That’s great! And yeah, I brought my laptop with me, I thought I could show you some of the things I’ve done, if that’s cool.”

“That would be great!” Niall says.

//

After an hour with Zach, you and Niall show him where he’ll be working, and Niall gets him started on a few things. You liked him so far. He seemed smart and down to business, which is exactly what you were hoping for. Towards the end of the day he knocks on the outside of your door.

“Come on in, Zach.” You smile and he walks in. “Have a seat.” He does so and smiles at you.

“Um, so, I just wanted to say your name sounded a little familiar, and I realized that you founded the very film club that I’m in.”

“Oh my goodness, really?! I’m so happy to hear it still has members.”

“Tons! I also work in our alumni office on campus, and I think it would be really cool if you came to campus and spoke with the current members. Sort of show them that being in a fun club can also help lead to bigger opportunities. We could do an alumni spotlight on you for the magazine.”

“Do you really think that I’m worthy of the alumni magazine?” You scoff. “I get sent that thing in the mail all the time, and it’s always these stories about old people.

“Or random dudes. I think they should feature more women. The director of alumni relations would love this, I think. He’s really nice. Could I at least give him your email?”

“Sure.” You smile. “At any rate, I’d love to come to a film club meeting some time. I could show you all the projects we used to make together.”

“That would be amazing!” He beams. “I can’t wait to tell them. We meet on Thursday nights. This week would be too soon, I assume, but maybe next week you could come?”

“I’d love to.”

He gets up and thanks you for your time before leaving. He was a sweet boy.

//

You got home before Harry on Wednesdays, which was perfect for what you wanted to put together for him. You get Buster fed and settled before heading into your bedroom. You put on some black lace lingerie and then grab your navy pencil skirt to put on over it. After that you put on the blazer that goes with it, and button it up. You slide your feet into your nude pumps. You go into the bathroom and pin your hair up into a more formal bun. All you’d have to do is take one pin out and it would fall into your waves. You touch up your makeup, and make your way up to the loft.

Harry gets home and kicks his shoes off. Buster carefully trots over to him and Harry lets him lick his hand.

“Hey buddy, where’s mumma?”

“Harry, is that you?”

He looks up towards the loft.

“Yeah!”

“Could come here for a minute please?”

“Sure thing, one second!” He uses the bathroom quick and then heads up to the loft. His eyes grow wide when he sees you. “Did you have, like, an important meeting today or somethin’?”

“I always do.”

“Wait, you weren’t wearin’ that before you left this mornin’…”

“I always dress like this, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” You wink at him and his eyebrows raise. His lips curl into a grin.

“Is…are we doin’ this?” You nod yes. “Okay, okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Go on.”

“So, um, right, we need to work late tonight…got a big presentation tomorrow.” You try to look as serious as possible.

Harry circles around you and stands right behind you. He dips his head down so his lips are at your ear.

“And what can I do to assist you?” You turn around to face him.

“You know, standing so close to me like that isn’t exactly professional.” You smirk. “I’m your boss after all.”

“Right.” He leans against his desk. “Wouldn’t want anyone to think you play favorites with or anything.” He smirks. “Although, they already think that since I’m the only one you’re nice to.”

“That’s because you’re the only competent person here.”

“You know what I think the real problem is?”

“What’s that?”

“You can come off as uptight.”

“Well…I’m just always stressed.” You shrug. “It’s not easy being the CEO of a large company, you know?”

“I do know. That’s why you hired me, remember? To help make you less stressed, but in all honesty…I don’t think you’re using me to my fullest potential.” He grins.

Harry was amazing you. He had clearly wanted to do this for a while, and you were happy to finally be doing this for him.

“You think so, huh?” You cross your arms. “Enlighten me then, how could I be using you?”

He takes a step forward and uncrosses your arms. He takes one of the buttons on your blazer and twists it between his thumb and index finger.

“You walk around with so much tension in your shoulders. I could rub them for you, but you’d have to take this off…”

“I suppose that would be alright, but I’ll warn you, I don’t have much on underneath.”

“Doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you.”

You nod and unbutton the blazer. Harry pushes it off your shoulders, and he gasps when he sees the black strappy bra that you’re wearing. You fold the blazer and lay it on your desk chair.

“This alright?” You smile.

“When did you get this, it’s really pretty.” You suck your teeth and look at him. “Shit, sorry.” You clears his throat. “Yeah, perfectly fine.”

You turn around and he starts to rub your shoulders. His thumbs knead into the back of your neck and you let out a soft moan.

“Good thing everyone else is gone for the day, or else they might get the wrong idea with noises you’re makin’.”

“Can’t help it, your hands just feel too good. Who knew you had such a gentle touch?”

One of Harry’s hands slides around to the front of your throat.

“And what if I wasn’t so gentle?” Your eyes grow wide, not that he can see. An ache starts to grow between your legs. “Got an answer for me, boss?”

You weren’t sure how to respond. You wanted him to really grip you, make it so you almost couldn’t breathe, but you were slightly scared that if you both got too caught up, you could have a flash. Although, you were almost positive Harry wouldn’t let that happen, so you decide to roll with it.

“I think…I could use a different way to de-stress.” You turn to face him. You put a hand over his and slide it down to the top of one of your breasts.

“I could get fired if HR finds out.”

“Who do you think signs their checks? I decide who gets fired around here, and it certainly isn’t going to be you.”

“Then I’d be happy to give you what you need.”

“And what exactly is that?”

That shit eating grin of his forms, the one where you can really see his dimples. His other arm snakes around your waist and pulls you close to him, so your hips are touching him. He removes his hand that’s on top of your breast to the back of your neck and pulls you to kiss him. You moan as his tongue enters your mouth. He was getting a pretty good taste of you. He lets go of you, and waits for your response.

“Ah.”

“Need a little more?”

“A lot more.”

You reach for the pin that’s holding your bun together and take it out. Your hair falls and you shake it out. Harry grabs you by your hips, and bends you over his desk. He hikes your skirt up and he groans when he sees the thong you’re wearing.

“You know, I think it’s a little…naughty of you to have been wearing this underneath your clothes.” You look at him over your shoulder. You give him a look that says, not too hard, and he nods in understanding.

You feel a smack, not necessarily on your ass, but more so right near your center. You mouth oh my god to yourself. You had zero idea he really wanted to do things like this with you. But then again, you weren’t really you and he wasn’t really him. Harry grabs your hips and places a hand on one of your cheeks so he can see his target better. You feel another smack and you gasp. He leans down so he can speak into your ear.

“See, you’re this really strong woman, and I think that’s great. But I think it’s time you’ve been taken down a notch, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

You hear him undo his pants, and then you feel him move your thong to the side. He grabs you by the back of your neck and pulls you up. He taps your bottom lip with his index and middle fingers. You take the hint and open up for him, sucking them into your mouth. You swirl your tongue around them and really make a show of it for him. He tracts them and the next thing you know he’s knuckle deep inside you. You loved it when he’d finger you from behind. There was something about the angle he was getting that always felt so good.

“You like that, boss?”

“Yes, please keep doing it.” You groan.

He pumps in and out of you, and you cry out when you feel him under you, lips wrapped around your clit. You claw at his desk as your legs start to shake. All of a sudden he stops and you look at him.

“Didn’t think I was gonna let you come so easily did you?” He raises an eyebrow at you. “You’re always so in control, but not tonight.”

He pushes you back down against the desk so your chest was flush with it. He removes your thong all the way and leaves it around your ankles. He bunches your skirt up around your hips and spreads you apart with his thumbs. He slowly inserts himself into you. As much as he just wanted to be careless and rough, he didn’t want to send you into a frenzy.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He groans once he’s full inside. “So wet for me.” He pulls out and then slams all the way back in.

“Do that again.”

Harry happily obliges and fucks you like that for a few minutes. It was how you had wanted him to fuck you for a long time, and you were happy to be in a place where he could. He was starting to hit you g-spot and it was overwhelming.

“Shit, right there, that’s it!”

He could tell you were close, but he didn’t want you to think you could come yet. He grips the back of your neck with one hand, and squeezes your hip with the other.

“Are you close?”

“Yes!”

“You have to ask me if you can come.” He slows down his pace and rocks in and out of you.

“What?!”

“Ask me if you can come.”

“Can I come?!”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Please!”

Harry grins and picks up the pace again. Your moans and groans mixed with the sound of his skin slapping against yours. You come hard around him. He pulls out and comes on your ass. You groan when you feel the heat from it. You hear him zip his pants back up so you stand up and turn to face him. You weren’t sure if the role play was over or not. When you see his features soften and his reassuring smile form on his lips, you know it is.

“C’mere.” He holds his arms out for you, and you nearly trip into him since your panties were still around your ankles. “Whoops, sorry ‘bout that, baby.”

“S’okay.” You giggle as he kisses the top of your head.

“Let’s get you downstairs.” He picks you up bridal styles and carefully brings you down the spiral staircase. “So, to what do I owe this amazing surprise?” He carries you down to the bathroom and sets you down on your feet. He runs a rag under some warm water to clean up where he came on you.

“I just wanted to do something special for you since you proposed, but I couldn’t exactly do this for you while I was on my period…” You wince slightly when he cleans up near your center.

“Sorry…did I slap you too hard?”

“It didn’t feel like it while you were doing it.” You get out of your pencil skirt and Harry helps you get out of your strappy bra. You throw on some of his sweats and go into the kitchen with him. “We should probably take Buster out soon…”

“We can start cookin’ and then take him out. Right buddy?” He yips at Harry and he chuckles. “So…it was okay, all of it?”

“For doing in a role play, yes.” You rub the back of your neck. “But that’s the only scenario I want you talking to me like that, okay?”

“Fair enough.” He shrugs and wraps his arms around you. “Thank you.”

“Did it live up to the fantasy?”

“God, yes. Even more so. That was really cool of you, Y/N.” He kisses you quick. “So, what do you want for dinner? I’ll make whatever you want.”

“I think we have stuff for tacos, I picked up those meatless meat crumbles…”

“Tacos it is then.” He smiles.

“Come on Buster, mummy take you out quick while daddy cooks.” He tries to hide his smirk. “You wanted me to call you that earlier, didn’t you?” You say, crossing your arms.

“What would make you think that?” He asks facetiously and you roll your eyes. “All part of the fantasy, love.”

“What is it with guys and wanting to be called daddy, I really don’t get it. Why would you want me to fuck my father? Or have me picture my father?” You laugh.

“S’not what it’s about…it’s more of just like…a dominance thing. Like I said, it’s just part of the fantasy, I don’t actually want you callin’ me that unless it’s in reference to Buster.”

“Good, because that’s the only way I’m calling you that.” You smirk, and put Buster’s leash on. Harry gets to work on the tacos.

//

“Wow, Harry! This looks great!”

He had set everything up on the island like a little buffet so you could add all the fixings you wanted. You each eat three soft shell tacos and clean up when you’re done. You were stuffed. You both flop onto the sofa and relax.

“So…Glee?” He says to you.

“You read my mind.”

#my everything #take it slow #take it slow sequel #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles y/n #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut #harry styles smut fic #fluff #smut #harry styles fanfic #thanks for being so patient! #hope you all arent on content overload with all the excitement today #hoping to post updates for this MWF #we shall see #come hang in my inbox!

[mattprivettwrites]

The best songs of the 1970s

“What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster!” - Stu Nahan, Rocky IV

So my employment has me in my car a lot, which means I’m listening to the radio a lot. If I’m not listening to a podcast or baseball game through my phone I also have SiriusXM, which of course has a plethora of musical options. I gravitate to the 70s and 80s channels because, well, of course I do.

Something else about me you may or may not know is that I love ranking things. I have a Note on my phone I’m regularly accessing that is nothing but different types of rankings. 

Thus, you can imagine my excitement when the 70s on 7 station announced a listener-voted Top 700 Songs of the 70s countdown over Labor Day weekend. It was a fun listen. They went through it twice over the four day weekend, and I was laboring much so I heard much.

It prompted me to think: What are my top seventy songs of the 70s? Surely I wasn’t going to come up with a top 700. After all, some in that list were real stinkers. But seventy? No problem. And indeed, it wasn’t hard to come up with that many songs. The hard part was narrowing it down. And once I did, there were still so many songs on my list I had enough for more lists, so I expanded it to 140, then 210, and... well...

I’m about to give you the authoritative list of the 350 best songs of the 1970s. I originally put out a Top 70 list on Facebook a few weeks ago. Much that of that list remains the same, with a few changes. But now there is much more. I’ve divided these into five “volumes” of seventy songs. They are my picks, but I welcome your feedback, because what’s a good set of rankings without debate and discussion.

Vol. 1 (1–70)

Chicago - “25 or 6 to 4”

Billy Joel - “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”

The Doobie Brothers - “What a Fool Believes”

Queen - “Bohemian Rhapsody”

Boston - “More Than a Feeling”

Elton John & Kiki Dee - “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”

Gerry Rafferty - “Baker Street”

ABBA - “Waterloo”

Don McLean - “American Pie”

The Eagles - “Take It to the Limit”

Fleetwood Mac - “The Chain”

Lynyrd Skynyrd - “Free Bird”

Billy Joel - “Until the Night”

Looking Glass - “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)”

Stevie Wonder - “Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours”

Elton John - “Philadelphia Freedom”

The Bee Gees - “Stayin’ Alive”

The Knack - “My Sharona”

Derek & The Dominos - “Layla”

Chicago - “Just You ’N’ Me”

The Emotions - “Best of My Love”

Jefferson Starship - “Miracles”

Aerosmith - “Dream On”

Joe Cocker - “You Are So Beautiful”

The Who - “Won’t Get Fooled Again”

Carly Simon - “You’re So Vain”

Electric Light Orchestra - “Livin’ Thing”

The Rolling Stones - “Beast of Burden”

Queen - “We Will Rock You / We Are the Champions”

Billy Joel - “My Life”

Journey - “Lights”

Toto - “Hold the Line”

Michael Jackson - “Don’t Stop ’til You Get Enough”

Pilot - “Magic”

Bruce Springsteen - “Born to Run”

Led Zeppelin - “Stairway to Heaven”

Styx - “Babe”

Stevie Wonder - “Sir Duke”

Orleans - “Still the One”

Samantha Sang - “Emotion”

Foreigner - “Feels Like the First Time”

ABBA - “Dancing Queen”

The Four Seasons - “December, 1963 (Oh What a Night)”

Marvin Gaye - “Trouble Man”

The Spinners - “Rubberband Man”

Kansas - “Carry On Wayward Son”

The Jackson 5 - “I Want You Back”

Chicago - “If You Leave Me Now”

Bill Withers - “Ain’t No Sunshine”

Earth, Wind, & Fire - “Shining Star”

Olivia Newton-John & John Travolta - “You’re the One That I Want”

Yvonne Ellman - “If I Can’t Have You”

Fleetwood Mac - “Don’t Stop”

Billy Joel - “Just the Way You Are”

The Eagles - “I Can’t Tell You Why”

Free - “All Right Now”

Kenny Rogers - “The Gambler”

The Bee Gees - “Night Fever”

Player - “Baby Come Back”

The Ides of March - “Vehicle”

David Bowie - “Starman”

The Five Stairsteps - “O-O-H Child”

Carole King - “I Feel the Earth Move”

Elton John - “My Father’s Gun”

Jefferson Starship - “Jane”

Stevie Wonder - “Higher Ground”

Electric Light Orchestra - “Mr. Blue Sky”

Seals & Croft - “Summer Breeze”

The Temptations - “Papa Was a Rollin’ Stone”

Chicago - “Old Days”

——

Vol. 2 (71–140)

The Who - “Baba O’Riley”

The Eagles - “Hotel California”

Billy Joel - “Prelude/Angry Young Man”

Aerosmith - “Walk This Way”

The Four Seasons - “Who Loves You”

Gerry Rafferty - “Right Down the Line”

Chicago - “Make Me Smile”

The Bee Gees - “Too Much Heaven”

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - “Old Time Rock and Roll”

Elton John - “Your Song”

Earth, Wind, & Fire - “September”

Queen - “Somebody to Love”

Paul McCartney & Wings - “Live and Let Die”

The Village People - “Y.M.C.A.”

James Taylor - “Fire and Rain”

Led Zeppelin - “Whole Lotta Love”

The Spinners - “Could It Be I’m Falling in Love”

Three Dog Night - “Joy to the World”

Jim Croce - “I Got a Name”

Billy Joel - “Stiletto”

The Jackson 5 - “ABC”

Styx - “Come Sail Away”

Dobie Gray - “Drift Away”

Ozark Mountain Daredevils - “Jackie Blue”

Stevie Wonder - “I Wish”

Credence Clearwater Revival - “Up Around the Bend”

The Hollies - “Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)”

Daryl Hall & John Oates - “Rich Girl”

Elton John - “Saturday Night’s Alright (For Fighting)”

KISS - “Rock and Roll All Nite”

Fleetwood Mac - “Go Your Own Way”

Carl Douglas - “Kung Fu Fighting”

Steve Miller Band - “Jet Airliner”

Chicago - “Saturday in the Park”

Led Zeppelin - “Immigrant Song”

The Beatles - “Let It Be”

Three Dog Night - “An Old Fashioned Love Song”

Bad Company - “Can’t Get Enough”

Grand Funk Railroad - “We’re an American Band”

The Bee Gees - “More Than a Woman”

The Charlie Daniels Band - “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”

The Doobie Brothers - “Listen to the Music” 

Black Sabbath - “Iron Man”

Chic - “Good Times”

Billy Joel - “Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)”

Harry Chapin - “Cat’s in the Cradle”

The Bay City Rollers - “Saturday Night”

Elton John - Bennie and the Jets”

K.C. & The Sunshine Band - “That’s the Way (I Like It)”

Lynyrd Skynyrd - “Sweet Home Alabama”

Carole King - “It’s Too Late”

The O’Jays - “Love Train”

Billy Joel - “Piano Man”

Foreigner - “Double Vision”

Chicago - “Feelin’ Stronger Every Day”

Peaches & Herb - “Reunited”

Deep Purple - “Smoke on the Water”

Wild Cherry - “Play That Funky Music”

Marvin Gaye - “I Want You”

Orleans - “Dance With Me”

Earth, Wind, & Fire - “After the Love Has Gone”

Van Halen - “Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love”

Paul McCartney & Wings - “My Love”

Little River Band - “Lonesome Loser”

Stevie Wonder - “Isn’t She Lovely?”

Steely Dan - “Reelin’ in the Years”

Cheap Trick - “Surrender”

The Sugarhill Gang - “Rapper’s Delight”

Maxine Nightingale - “Right Back Where We Started From”

The Who - “Who Are You”

——

Vol. 3 (141–210)

Gloria Gaynor - “I Will Survive”

Led Zeppelin - “Kashmir”

Chicago - “Baby, What a Big Surprise”

Sister Sledge - “We Are Family”

Jackson Browne - “Running on Empty”

Olivia Newton John - “Hopelessly Devoted to You”

Vicki Sue Robinson - “Turn the Beat Around”

Billy Joel - “Big Shot”

Starland Vocal Band - “Afternoon Delight”

Rupert Holmes - “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”

Queen - “Don’t Stop Me Now”

Andrea True Connection - “More More More”

The Guess Who - “American Woman”

The Doobie Brothers - “Black Water”

Paul McCartney & Wings - “Band on the Run”

Stevie Wonder - “Superstition”

Elton John - “Someone Saved My Life Tonight”

James Taylor - “Your Smiling Face”

The Rolling Stones - “Miss You”

Chicago - “Beginnings”

Bachman-Turner Overdrive - “Let It Ride”

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - “We’ve Got Tonight”

Styx - “Lady”

Three Dog Night - “Mama Told Me (Not to Come)”

Journey - “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’”

Foreigner - “Cold As Ice”

10cc - “I’m Not in Love”

Credence Clearwater Revival - “Have You Ever Seen the Rain”

K.C. & The Sunshine Band - “Get Down Tonight”

Billy Joel - “Summer Highland Falls”

The Delfonics - “Didn’t I (Blow Your Mind This Time)”

Electric Light Orchestra - “Don’t Bring Me Down”

The Bee Gees - “How Deep Is Your Love”

Ike & Tina Turner - “Proud Mary”

Elton John - “Levon”

The Doobie Brothers - “Long Train Runnin’”

Seals & Croft - “Diamond Girl”

Redbone - “Come and Get Your Love”

Kenny Loggins - “This Is It”

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band - “Blinded By the Light”

Roberta Flack - “Killing Me Softly With His Song”

Paul McCartney & Wings - “With a Little Luck”

The Bellamy Brothers - “Let Your Love Flow”

The Carpenters - “Superstar”

Blue Oyster Cult - “(Don’t Fear) The Reaper”

Stevie Wonder - “You Are the Sunshine of My Life”

Eddie Money - “Baby Hold On”

Ted Nugent - “Cat Scratch Fever”

The Eagles - “Best of My Love”

The Four Tops - “Ain’t No Woman (Like the One I’ve Got)”

Chicago - “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

Chairmen of the Board - “Give Me Just a Little More Time”

The Cars - “Just What I Needed”

Queen - “You’re My Best Friend”

Thelma Houston - “Don’t Leave Me This Way”

Heart - “Barracuda”

Isaac Hayes - “Theme from Shaft”

Daryl Hall & John Oates - “She’s Gone”

Rod Stewart - “You’re in My Heart (The Final Acclaim)”

Billy Joel - “She’s Got a Way”

The Hues Corporation - “Rock the Boat”

Steve Miller Band - “Fly Like an Eagle”

Thin Lizzy - “Jailbreak”

Supertramp - “Give a Little Bit”

Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes - “If You Don’t Know Me By Now”

America - “Sister Golden Hair”

Pure Prairie League - “Amie”

The Temptations - “Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)”

Prince - “I Wanna Be Your Lover”

Van Halen - “Eruption / You Really Got Me”

——

Vol. 4 (211–280)

Led Zeppelin - “When the Levee Breaks”

The Clash - “London Calling”

Chicago - “(I’ve Been) Searchin’ So Long”

KISS - “Detroit Rock City”

Bobby Womack - “Across 110th Street”

Bad Company - “Feel Like Makin’ Love”

Billy Joel - “I’ve Loved These Days”

Jim Croce - “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown”

Aerosmith - “Sweet Emotion”

Ace - “How Long”

James Taylor - “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)”

The Chi-Lites - “Oh Girl”

Frank Mills - “Music Box Dancer”

Amii Stewart - “Knock on Wood”

ABBA - “Take a Chance on Me”

Grand Funk Railroad - “Some Kind of Wonderful”

Elton John - “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds”

Fleetwood Mac - “Dreams”

The Sweet - “Fox on the Run”

Herb Alpert - “Rise”

The Eagles - “The Long Run”

K.C. & The Sunshine Band - “Boogie Shoes”

Marvin Gaye - “What’s Going On”

Todd Rundgren - “Hello, It’s Me”

Black Sabbath - “Paranoid”

Paul McCartney - “Maybe I’m Amazed”

The Rolling Stones - “It’s Only Rock and Roll (But I Like It)”

Boston - “Don’t Look Back”

Billy Joel - “Streetlife Serenader”

Journey - “Wheel in the Sky”

Poco - “Crazy Love”

Blondie - “Heart of Glass”

James Gang - “Funk #49”

Kansas - “Dust in the Wind”

Kenny Loggins & Stevie Nicks - “Whenever I Call You ‘Friend’”

Steely Dan - “Do It Again”

Natalie Cole “This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)”

Billy Preston - “Outa-Space”

Boz Skaggs - “Lido Shuffle”

Leo Sayer - “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing”

Alicia Bridges - “I Love the Nightlife (Disco ‘Round)”

10cc - “The Things We Do For Love”

America - “Ventura Highway”

Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - “Tears of a Clown”

Donna Summer - “Hot Stuff”

Edgar Winter Group - “Free Ride”

Chicago - “Wishing You Were Here”

The Jackson 5 - “The Love You Save”

Carly Simon - “Nobody Does It Better”

Parliament - “Flashlight”

T. Rex - “Bang a Gong (Get It On)”

Ohio Players - “Love Rollercoaster”

Chuck Mangione - “Feels So Good”

Jackson Browne - “Doctor My Eyes”

The Eagles - “Take It Easy”

The Ramones - “Blitzkrieg Bop”

Seals & Croft - “Get Closer”

Queen - “Killer Queen”

Carol Douglas - “Doctor’s Orders”

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - “Her Strut”

Billy Joel - “Vienna”

Average White Band - “Pick Up the Pieces”

James Taylor - “Handy Man”

Thin Lizzy - “The Boys Are Back in Town”

Walter Murphy - “A Fifth of Beethoven”

Three Dog Night - “Shambala”

The Three Degrees - “When Will I See You Again”

Jim Croce - “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim”

The Commodores - “Machine Gun”

Led Zeppelin - “The Song Remains the Same”

——

Vol. 5 (281–350)

Bachman-Turner Overdrive - “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet”

Billy Joel - “Miami 2017 (I’ve Seen The Lights Go Out On Broadway)”

Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band - “Still the Same”

Al Green - “Let’s Stay Together”

ABBA - “S.O.S.”

The Cars - “Let’s Go”

Ted Nugent - “Stranglehold”

Elton John - “Rocket Man (I Think It’s Going To Be A Long Long Time)”

Styx - “Renegade”

Eddie Rabbitt - “Every Which Way But Loose”

Alice Cooper - “No More Mr. Nice Guy”

Daryl Hall & John Oates - “Sara Smile”

Chicago - “Lowdown”

Love Unlimited Orchestra - “Love’s Theme”

Rod Stewart - “Maggie May”

Paul Simon - “Slip, Slidin’ Away”

Robert Palmer - “Bad Case of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)”

MFSB - “The Sound of Philadelphia”

Ambrosia - “How Much I Feel”

Electric Light Orchestra - “Evil Woman”

Bruce Springsteen - “Thunder Road”

ZZ Top - “La Grange”

Gino Vannelli - “I Just Wanna Stop”

Gilbert O’Sullivan - “Alone Again (Naturally)”

Fleetwood Mac - “Say You Love Me”

The Doobie Brothers - “Rockin’ Down the Highway”

Golden Earring - “Radar Love”

Ram Jam - “Black Betty”

The Eagles - “One of These Nights”

Meco - “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band”

Billy Joel - “Honesty”

The Bee Gees - “Tragedy”

Queen - “Stone Cold Crazy”

Chic - “Everybody Dance”

Bread - “Everything I Own”

Olivia Newton John - “A Little More Love”

The Trammps - “Disco Inferno”

Neil Sedaka - “Laughter in the Rain”

Marvin Gaye - “Got to Give It Up”

B.J. Thomas - “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head”

The Village People - “In the Navy”

King Harvest - “Dancing in the Moonlight”

Ohio Players - “Fire”

Nicolette Larson - “Lotta Love”

Main Ingredient - “Everybody Plays the Fool”

Barry White - “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe”

The Kinks - “Everybody’s A Star”

Michael Jackson - “Ben”

Elton John - “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”

Dionne Warwick & The Spinners - “Then Came You”

Nazareth - “Love Hurts”

Eric Carmen - “All By Myself”

Foreigner - “Hot Blooded”

Bobby Caldwell - “What You Won’t Do For Love”

Foghat - “Slow Ride”

Andy Kim - “Rock Me Gently”

Cheryl Lynn - “Got to Be Real”

Captain & Tennille - “Love Will Keep Us Together”

The Miracles - “Love Machine”

Blondie - “One Way or Another”

Elvin Bishop - “Fooled Around and Fell in Love”

Leo Sayer - “When I Need You”

Little River Band - “Reminiscing”

Hudson Brothers - “So You Are A Star”

Exile - “Kiss You All Over”

Mountain - “Mississippi Queen”

Heat Wave - “Groove Line”

Sugarloaf - “Don’t Call Us (We’ll Call You)”

Hot Butter - “Popcorn”

ABBA - “Mamma Mia”

#1970s music

[hornsbeforehalos]

Waste Love: Part Sixteen

Pairing: Colson Baker|Machine Gun Kelly x OFC Warnings: Language, Alcohol and Drug Use, Smut, Violence, Angst, Fluff A/N: Sorry this took forever! I know I been slacking plus my internet being bullshit. I should be back on my jam though soon! 

“So when I get back we gotta get the living situations figured out.” Colson said into the receiver, his phone cradled in between his cheek and shoulder as he focused on rolling the joint in front of him, “We gotta get all your stuff across the country.”

“What are you talking about?” Tiffany chuckled from her end of the line, her voice light and airy and making Colson miss home more than ever before. 

“What do you mean, ‘What am I talkin’ ‘bout?’” Colson asked, confusion contorting his voice slightly as he furrowed his brow before licking the glue of the paper and twisting the spliff closed. 

“I’m not moving in with you, Colson.” She replied, her tone obvious and knowing. He could picture her rolling her eyes at him and giving him that look she always gave him, but this time, instead of making him smile and laugh, irritation prickled through him as he snatched the lighter out of Rooks hand beside him. He ignored the “What the fuck?” from his friend and stood from the couch, his feet stomping loudly as he retreated to the bedroom of the suite.

“The fuck you mean you’re not movin’ in?” Colson demanded as he slammed the door to the room shut. His voice was lowered but still stained with venom as he gritted his teeth and walked towards the balcony. 

Colson heard her sigh as he sparked the joint, annoyance bleeding through the line when she replied, “I’ve already explained this shit to you, Colson, please don’t.”

“Nah, fuck that,” he retorted, inhaling deeply from the joint, “It ain’t cuz your fuckin’ job. I talked to Reedus and he straight up said you could work from wherever.”

“The fuck? You went behind my back and-“

“Nah, stay on the fuckin’ subject, bitch.” Colson interrupted, hitting the joint again quickly, “I want the real fuckin’ reason. You’re supposed to be my goddamn wife.” 

“Oh what the fuck ever, Colson,” Tiffany huffed, her voice raising with her anger, “I don’t wanna hear that shit. Im not some dumb fucking bimbo like all the other bitches you keep around.”

“So now we back on this bullshit, huh?”

“Do you really think I’m stupid, Kels? Seriously? Or blind or some shit?” Tiffany snapped, yelling through the phone, “I see everything, even when I’m not fucking there. Like the three blonde whores that were in the hotel last night. Or the brunette in the bus the night before. Or the-“

“Forreal? So now you’re on some stalker shit?” Colson replied, a sarcastic chuckle leaving his lips before taking another hit, “You think I’m fuckin around?”

“Stalker shit?!” Tiffany shreaked, her voice so loud, he had to pull the screen away from his ear, “You think that’s me being a fuckin’ stalker, mother fucker? Are you on fucking crack?”

A loud, guttural, roar came through the line, followed by the loud crash of something glass breaking in the background. 

“Sounds like some shit a stalker would do.” Colson replied with a shrug, taunting her. 

“Fuck you, Colson. You’re a fucking bitch, you know that? This whole fucking engagement is just as much a big ass joke to you as it is me.”

“So its all a joke, huh?” Colson asked, his lips hissing as he held in a cloud of smoke for a moment before letting it be pushed from his lungs, “Me asking you to marry me in front of fifty thousand people was a fucking joke?”

“Apparently! You flew to fucking Paris the next night and fucked four different bitches, you nasty fucking whore!” She screamed back, her voice cracking and hoarse. Colson pictured her crying, mascara running down her face as she yelled at him with all the anger in her heart that he had in his. Except he was angry at himself. 

He knew people were taking pictures when he walked through that hotel, and he knew that that dumb slut had been recording on the bus, and that someone had seen him in Paris. Cameras were constantly in his face no matter where he was.  He didn’t know why, but for some reason he just believed it either wouldn’t get back to her, or that she somehow magically wouldn’t care. 

He knew better. 

“You know how fucking embarrassing it is to have your engagement in a TMZ article one night and then see one with your fiancé with another bitch right beside it the next day?” Tiffany gritted out, her voice low and seething, “But did you hear me say one fucking thing about it to you? Huh? Or any of the others? Huh?”

Grinding his teeth together, Colson couldn’t even get his jaw to open as he ground out a “No.”

“And now you wanna throw a fucking tantrum and wonder WHY I won’t throw every thing that I’ve busted my ass for over the last year away for you? Why I refuse to call you anything other than my good friend, even though right now I wouldn’t consider you that, either.”

“So what? You never wanted to marry me? Everything don’t mean shit?” He huffed, his chest tightening as he stomped the rest of the roach into the ashtray forcefully.

“Of course I want to marry you, Colson! But we both know that you’re not fucking serious about any of it! I’m not going to call you my husband when every time I open Twitter, I’m being tagged in videos of you with your tongue down another bitches throat!” 

“Mannn,” Colson whined, sucking his gums before standing up and leaning over the balcony, the Italian skyline boring and unappealing to him as he fought with her, “I didn’t fuck none of them bitches, and you know that.”

“No, I don’t.” She replied, her voice even, though still venomous, “When you’re Machine Gun Kelly, you have no rules. You do whatever you want, without consequence.”

Colson knew she was right, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. But he also knew that he was telling her the truth, he hadn’t fucked anyone else but her, which made him all the more frustrated. He wanted her to believe him, but he understood why she couldn’t. His chest ached with the need for her to trust him, but hell, could he really even trust himself?

Before he had a chance to think of a reply, she continued, “I’m supposed to be apart of the family but my own brother has your back more than mine. Slim, Dre, all of them, they look at you like you really are some golden god or something that can do no wrong. They look at me like they did Ashley and Amber- temporary. Which is exactly why Rook didn’t want me with you. He knew this was how it was gonna go.”

Her voice was still low but the anger and hate was gone, replaced by sadness and defeat, “I let you back in my life as Colson, forgetting that I know Machine Gun Kelly too. While I’m in love with both, right now neither one is ready to get married.”

“So what? You don’t wanna be with me or somethin’?” Colson questioned, pushing off the railing and moving to sit back down in the chair, his back hunched over as he rested his elbow on his knee, “If you been feelin’ like this, why haven’t you said shit?”

She sighed again, her breath shaky as she sniffed, “I want to be with you, Cols. I really do. I love you, but if we’re going to be serious then you need to be serious.”

“I am serious, Tiff. I’m not playing when I said I didn’t fuck them chicks. Yeah, I shouldn’t have been doing that shit regardless, but I never put my dick in them. This shit ain’t easy for me, and I need you to tell me when I’m outta pocket. Especially if it got you feelin’ like this.” 

“I’m not tryna change who you are, Kels. I want you to know that.”

“I know you ain’t. But if I want you to be my wife then there’s shit I gotta do.”

Colson took a deep breath and let it out in a whoosh, relief flooding through him at the knowledge that she wasn’t going to leave him. Determination replaced his anxiety and anger and he straightened his posture, rubbing his jaw with his fingertips as he thought to himself. 

“I love you, Tiff. An’ I don’t care what you say, you’re gonna marry me. I’mma prove to you that I’m serious about this shit, for real.”

She let out a chuckle, the sound making him smile, “I hope so, Kels. Just stop with the moving shit, please?”

His smile widened as he let out his own snort, “Oh, baby, gimme a month and you’ll be the one begging to move in.”

—

Tiffany sat at the baggage claim, scrolling through her Instagram feed with a bored look on her face while she waited for her luggage to come through the revolving belt. She smiled at the screen in her hand, unable to keep the eye roll from appearing as she watched her brother’s story. A obviously drunk Colson pointed to the camera, his grin goofy and pale eyes unfocused.

“What do you wanna say to the folks at home, Kels?” Rook laughed, his own voice laced with inebriation.

“I jus’ wanna say that I fucking love you, Tiffany Cappalletty.” Colson slurred, his lips puckering as he leaned in to kiss the phone, “Muah! I love you baby, I miss you, and I’ll be home soon!”

Tiffany snorted and shook her head, clicking the screen closed when she finally spotted the black and purple luggage being spat out of the machine. 

She cocked and eyebrow at the man standing in front of her when she turned around after pulling her bag off the conveyor belt, “You seen me struggle with that shit and just let it happen, asshole.”

“It was cute. Plus I wanted to see the pride in your eyes when you got to done.” Her father responded with a shrug, pulling her into his side as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. “How was your flight, baby girl?” 

“Fine, when the thing finally took off.” She scoffed, shaking her head as they headed towards the exit and into the parking garage. 

“Everything’s all set up, right?” Tiffany questioned, her eyes narrowing as she looked to her dad over the top of the car after opening the door, “You did what I asked?”

“Yes, dear,” he replied sarcastically, smirking at his daughter before climbing into the vehicle, “Only one small issue.”

“Oh Lord,” Tiffany whined as she plopped herself into the seat with a groan, “What the fuck happened?”

“Nothing major,” Pop clarified, smirking at her as he reversed out of the parking space, “Just a small change of plans.”

The ride back to her dads house was easy and quick as the duo talked and listened to music like they always did, and Tiffany’s smile was beaming when they finally pulled into the drive way. 

It faded, through, when she noticed how many cars where parked around the street. 

“Daaaad, they fucking didn’t!” She groaned, stomping her feet childishly before pushing the door to the car open and climbing out, “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Her father’s explanation iwas cut short when the front door of the house burst open, Colson, Rook, Slim, and Baze all bounding out recklessly with beaming smiles on their faces.

“Tiffanyyyyyy!” Slim screeched before tackling the poor girl, a deep whoosh of breath leaving her when her back hit the plush grass. A dog pile ensued, with Colson being the at the top, Tiffany’s breath crushed out of her but a smile still planted across her face. 

“Get the fuck off me, assholes!” She choked, smacking Slim’s side and Rook’s head the best she could. The boys rolled off of her, all laughing as they pulled her to her feet. Colson snatched her hand easily and reeled her into him, his lips attaching to hers as his long arms wrapped around her tiny frame. 

“Tryna throw a party without me, I see.” Colson teased, nodding his head to towards the thumping music coming from the house.

Tiffany smirked and rolled her eyes, her hand coming across to smack his chest, “You’re the one that started without me.”

“Well lets go play catch up, girl!” Her father laughed, waving everyone inside.

Colson pulled her into his side, his arm draped over her shoulders as he leaned in to kiss her temple. “It’s good to be home.”

“Yeah,” she replied, looking up to him with a smile, “it really is.”

Masterlist

Tags:  @cobainscocaiine @coffee-obsessed-writer @through-thesilver-lining @daryldixonandfrogs @buckyscrystalqueen @mgkobsessed @iamdorka @creatureofthen1ght-v3 @xxencagedxx @xxkellsvixen19xx  @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @bvibunny138 @crystalbaby12 @abbysdogcollar

*credit for the bomb ass banner is to best friend @coffee-obsessed-writer

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[rattmemes]

Beetlejuice: the Musical OBCR Starters! ACT 1

((>>act 2<<))

all changeable titles/pronouns will be in [italics and bracket!]

PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE

“ in times like these, we have no words, we only have each other ” “ we only have each other ” “ today we come together to mourn ” “ scripture tells us: “sorrow not, for we do not walk alone” ” “ sorrow not, for we do not walk alone ” “ you’re invisible when you’re sad ” “ clocks tick and phones still ring ” “ the world carries on like mad ” “ the world carries on like mad, but nobody sees a thing ” “ nobody sees a thing ” “ whispering behind their hands, lost for kind words to say ” “ nobody understands, and everyone goes away ” “ nobody understands ” “ everyone goes away ” “ grownups wanna fix things, when they can’t it only fills them shame ” “ they just look away ” “ is it being greedy to need somebody to see me and say my name? ” “ seems when you lose your [mom], no one turns off the sun ” “ folks carry on, that’s that ” “ holy crap, a ballad already? ” “ such a bold departure from the original source material! ”

THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING

“ hey folks! begging your pardon! ” “ hey folks! ” “ begging your pardon! ” “ ‘scuse me! sorry to barge in! ” “ ‘scuse me! ” “ sorry to barge in! ” “ let’s skip the tears ” “ let’s skip the tears and start on the whole, y’know, being dead thing ” “ you’re doomed! ” “ you’re doomed! enjoy the singing ” “ the sword of Damocles is swinging ” “ if i hear your cell-phone ringing, i’ll kill you myself ” “ the whole being dead thing! ” “ death can get a person stressed ” “ we should have carpe’d way more diems, now we’re never gonna see ‘em ” “ we should have carpe’d way more diems ” “ i can show you what comes next ” “ don’t be freaked ” “ stay in your seats ” “ don’t be freaked, stay in your seats ” “ i do this bullshit like eight times a week ” “ so just relax, you’ll be fine ” “ drink your fifty-dollar wine and take a breath ” “ welcome to a show about death! ” “ you’re gonna be fine on the other side ” “ DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE! ” “ i’ll be your guide to the other side ” “ oh, and full disclosure: it’s a show about death! ” “ everybody gets on fine here ” “ everybody gets on fine here, like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here ” “ the women’s bathroom has no line here ” “ just... pee where you want! ” “ you’re just gonna love the folks here ” “ yes, i know you’re woke, but you can take a joke here ” “ i do, like, a TON of coke here ” “ nobody is bullet-proof ” “ “i work out! i eat clean!” jesus, pass the Dramamine ” “ jesus, pass the Dramamine ” “ time to face the brutal truth ” “ we’re all on a hitlist ” “ might not live ‘till christmas ” “ choke to death on Triscuits ” “ hey, that’s just statistics ” “ take a little break here ” “ kinda like a wake here ” “ the scenery is fake here ” “ there’s a giant snake here! ” “ how you doin’? not good! ” “ seriously though, this is a show about death ” “ death is taboo, but it’s hardly something new ” “ there’s nothing medical professionals could do, ‘cept maybe just bill you ” “ if you die while listening to this album, it’s still gonna keep playing ” “ there’s no destiny or fate, just a terrifying wait filled with people that you hate, and on a certain date, the universe kills you ” “ that’s the thing with life: no one makes it out alive ” “ toss that body in the pit ” “ gosh, it’s awful, ain’t it tragic? ” “ blah blah bible jesus magic ” “ when you’re dead, who gives a shit? ” “ pilates, no more yoga ” “ namaste, you fuckin’ posers! ” “ from the cradle to cremation, death just needs a little conversation ” “ i have mastered the art of tearing convention apart ” “ how about we all make a start on the whole being dead thing ” “ god, i hope you’re ready for a show about death! ”

READY, SET, NOT YET

“ look at this crib ” “ look at this crib, in all of it’s glorious antiquary ” “ every curve and surface speaks to me, saying pamper and spoil me, sand me and oil me; come on ” “ i know to the untrained eye it’s boring ” “ nothing’s a chore when you’re restoring ” “ apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain, it’s fun! ” “ why do you polish your crib when you don’t have a kid? ” “ even if you did have a kid, this crib is too precious for placing a baby inside it ” “ it simply exists to remind you your sense of perfection is just a reflection that you are not mentally prepared to make room for a kid ” “ why don’t you live? ” “ just make a start ” “ are you willing to take the next step? ” “ ready, set - ” “ look at these jugs! ” “ amazingly glazed and terracotta-ery ” “ i took some clay and made you pottery ” “ the world will never wreck you, i’ll protect you in a mother’s embrace ” “ why can’t you see that ceramics is simply a manifestation of [motherly] panic; by making a baby that’s breakable aren’t you creating a way of translating the terror of making [maternal] mistakes into clay, hiding away so you don’t have to face being a bad [mom]? ” “ that’s what you’ve done, ___ ” “ here we stand at the end of a 10-year plan ” “ a house, a yard, a minivan, a baby should be next ” “ together let’s leap off the cliff, fall forever, then smash to bits ” “ trapped in a terrifying viper pit ” “ trapped in a terrifying viper pit of diapers and regret ” “ are we willing to take the next step? ” “ ready, set - not yet ” “ why rush? ” “ soon enough our hopes and our dreams will be crushed ” “ but not yet ” “ not now ” “ we can’t start a family in a house with creaky floorboards ” “ you are absolutely right, let’s add it to the list ” “ with the cracks in the plaster ” “ the wi-fi should be faster ” “ this sofa needs a castor ” “ the bathroom’s a disaster! ” “ what about global poverty? ” “ what about world peace? ” “ then there’s the whole darn economy ” “ the whole middle east ” “ we should learn mandarin ” “ yeah! or spanish at least ” “ no habla espanol, dos cervezas por favor ” “ and that’s all we got, and that’s not a lot ” “ do we want a bilingual household or not? ” “ so let’s go slow, no breaking a sweat ” “ what’s the point of having children if we’re drowning in debt? ” “ see, i wasn’t kidding, it’s a show about death! ”

THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING PT. 2

“ ready? okay! ” “ hi! i’ll be your guide! i’ll be your G-U-I-D-E to the other side! ” “ don’t go to the netherworld ” “ netherworld? ” “ did i say netherworld? never mind ” “ jesus, i can’t spell ” “ he’ll be your guide! ” “ let’s all get naked! ” “ let’s all get naked! eh, worth a try ” “ what is happening?! ” “ i understand that it’s a lot to process ” “ the good news is you and our spouse died in your own house ” “ that gives you clout ” “ that means the two of you should stick around ” “ lucky for you i dropped by ” “ yeah, you seem like nice guys ” “ a little on the pottery barn and dry white wine side ” “ as for me, i’ve been scaring for millennia ” “ i’m the bio-exorcist giving houses enemas ” “ push out all the breathers so you can breathe easy ” “ just stick with me ” “ i’m like a ghost zombie jesus ” “ ghost zombie jesus! ” “ i do it for the love of it. money? ah, who gives a shit ” “ i think we’re a perfect fit, c’mon let’s make out a bit ” “ it’s the perfect day to die ” “ it’s the perfect day to die, ‘cause this guy happened to be passing by ” “ to give you control of your soul ” “ to give you control of your soul for the whole being dead thing ”

DEAD MOM

“ hey [mom], dead [mom] ” “ hey [mom] ” “ i need a little help here ” “ i’m probably talking to myself here ” “ i gotta ask, are you really in the ground? ” “ i feel you all around me ” “ are you here? ” “ i’m tired of trying to iron out my creases ” “ i’m a bunch of broken pieces, it was you who made me whole ” “ i’m a bunch of broken pieces ” “ it was you who made me whole ” “ every day [dad’s] staring at me, like all “hurry up, get happy” ” “ move along ” “ forget about your [mom] ” “ [daddy’s] in denial, [daddy] doesn’t wanna feel ” “ [he] wants me to smile and clap like a performing seal ” “ ignored it for a whole, but [daddy’s] lost [his] mind for real ” “ you don’t believe the mess that we’ve become ” “ you’re my home, my destination ” “ i’m your clone, your strange creation ” “ you held my hand, and life came easy ” “ now jokes don’t land ” “ no one sees me ” “ nothing seems to fit ” “ are you receiving? ” “ i want something to believe in ” “ take me where my soul can run ” “ i’ll be in my bedroom, wake me when i’m twenty one ” “ won’t you send a sign? ” “ i’m running out of hope and time ” “ a plague of mice, a lightning strike, or drop a nuclear bomb ” “ no more playing [daddy’s] games ” “ i’ll go insane if things don’t change ” “ whatever it takes to make [him] say your name ”

FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES

“ okay, listen up, i’m not gonna lie; right now you couldn’t frighten a fly ” “ you ever stop to ask yourselves why? ” “ both of you are super polite, middle class, suburban, and white ” “ well, all of that is finished tonight ” “ take your places ” “ i want scary faces, now go! ” “ bigger! ” “ further! ” “ harder! ” “ not bad! ” “ i want scary faces, now go! bigger! further! harder! -- not bad! ” “ sever a head, preferably someone you know ” “ look at me, i’m so scary! ” “ don’t be so vanilla, would a little anger kill ya? ” “ c’mon drop your panties i’m trying to fill you -- with wisdom and skill ” “ and the instinct to kill ” “ again, we do not want to kill anyone! ” “ fine, but somehow, someway, you gotta make ‘em see ya ” “ i’m talkin’ jumpscares, the jerky japanese ghost-walk ” “ learn how to throw your voice! -- fool your friends! -- fun at parties! ” “ now THAT is cool! i wanna do THAT! ” “ whatever it takes to make ‘em go crazy ” “ raising the stakes by punching a baby ” “ scare ‘em away till they break ” “ they’ll be quaking in fright ” “ you’ve got some evil deep down inside you ” “ put all the farmer’s markets behind you ” “ you’ve gotta work, gotta haunt till it hurts through the night ” “ give those guys the fright of their lives! ” “ let’s start with things that you hate ” “ hate’s a very strong word ” “ perhaps when people are late ” “ or getting pooped on by birds ” “ no, what fills you with rage? ” “ what fills you with rage? ” “ being mean to a pet ” “ chefs who use too much sage when they make beurre noisette ” “ over-glutinous food ” “ when kids call me dude ” “ oh, i find that so rude! ” “ well, there’s lots there to use ” “ take a deep death and give me your best primal scream ” “ [weak, lame scream] ” “ that was brilliant! ” “ try it again, maybe this time pretend like you mean it ” “ [lame scream but deeper] ” “ that was even better! ” “ i want freedom ” “ to get my freedom i need to get a living person to say my name ” “ i know that beggars can’t be choosers, but do they have to be such losers? ” “ both of them are deathly dull and lame ” “ why God slash Satan did you send these bed wetters? ” “ even, like, a tax attorney would’ve been better ” “ somebody with gravitas, somebody to fear ” “ excuse me, ___, we can kinda hear you ” “ yeah? well that was a soliloquy, so you’re the one who’s being rude ” “ turn all the lights on ” “ dress like a baby ” “ ___, i don’t even -- no. ” “ get your heads in the game ” “ let’s hide their phones! ” “ screw their phones! ” “ ugh, these dopes are hopeless ” “ how will i ever survive? ” “ unless they get the fright of their lives ” “ yes, we’re feelin’ it! ” “ they gotta get the right of their lives ” “ we’re scary, very very scary! ” “ they’ll never get the fright of their lives ”

READY, SET (REPRISE)

“ that needy pervert was right ” “ if we want our house back, we have to fight for it ” “ how? no one can see us! ” “ we’re ghosts, damn it! let’s haunt this bitch! ” “ oblivion calls ” “ we might as well walk through some walls ” “ i’m sure we can haunt our own halls ” “ we’re ready as we’ll ever get ” “ i gotta get right outside my comfort zone ” “ we’ll rattle chains and, i don’t know, just wail and moan until they go ” “ ready, set let’s oooOOOoOooOooOo [ghost noises] ”

NO REASON

“ the universe is more than just space with no end ” [sung] “ la-la-la-la-la! ” “ just think of the universe as a female best friend ” “ hey, universe, what’s happening girl? ” “ oh nothing. just running the world ” “ you’re on the right track, [girl], i got your back, [girl] ” “ i’m helping you grow ” “ think positive, act positive, you are a child of the Earth! ” “ life coaching! nailing it! ” “ time to take command you dictate the hand the universe deals ” “ look, science makes no sense; who needs evidence? ” “ go with yours feels ” “ i’m like a radio tuned to the stars ” “ i found my frequency, crystals speak to me ” “ what are they saying? ” “ buy more crystals ” “ everything, EVERYTHING, happens for a reason ” “ be a beacon of light in the world, put a little alright in the world ” “ there are spiritual guides above, look up and see ‘em ” “ perception is reality ” “ just listen to the melody the universe sings ” “ everything happens for a reason ” “ gee, i hate to break it to you: the universe is just the contents of time, matter and space ” “ ninety-one billion light-years across and the Earth’s a small place ” “ good people die in famine and wars ” “ the pacific islands are sinking, but negative thinking is hardly the cause ” “ you think life is all unicorns and rainbows ‘cause you’re bored ” “ positivity is a luxury that few can afford ” “ we’re gonna die, yes you and I, in meaningless and alone ” “ no no no! no! ” “ one day you may wake up alone ” “ your husband and his boyfriend bought a boat and then they sailed away to Rome ” “ that’s specific ” “ so you cry yourself to sleep in deep despair, talking to the walls ‘cause there’s no one there, and you have to buy a cat ‘cause that’s your last chance to have a family ” “ take it from me, your aging ass will have to believe that everything happens for a reason ” “ put some more fun in the world, a little “I AM STILL YOUNG” in the world ” “ be prepared to take your eggs and freeze ‘em ” “ is this still about me? ” “ sounds like terrible things can happen ” “ because the universe is random ” “ yes, but, random for a reason ” “ no reason ”

INVISIBLE (REPRISE)/ON THE ROOF

“ you’re invisible when you’re me ” “ there’s no one to see my truth ” “ if they could look up they’d see: hey! somebody’s on the roof! ” “ god, it’s mortifying, what’s the point of even trying? ” “ now i’m trapped with no escape ” “ banished! disavowed! i vanished like a cloud of dirty hipster vape ” “ i vanished like a cloud of dirty hipster vape ” “ nobody said life’s fair ” “ guess they will never see the demon who isn’t there ” “ whoa, what have we got here? ” “ by the time you read this, I, ___, will be gone ” “ there’s nothing for me here ” “ i’m alone, forsaken, invisible ” “ that makes two of us ” “ who the hell are you? ” “ can you... see me? ” “ yeah...? ” “ you can SEE me! ” “ I’M GONNA HAVE A NEW BEST FRIIIIIIEEEENND! ”

SAY MY NAME

“ you could use a buddy ” “ don’t you want a pal? ” “ yes i do! yes i do! ” “ the way i see, your [daddy] should be leaving and you should stick around! ” “ and kill him! ” “ ... what? ” “ nothing! ” “ don’t end yourself, defend yourself ” “ [daddy] is the one you should maim ” “ together we’ll exterminate, assassinate! ” “ the finer points can wait ” “ first you gotta say my name! ” “ go ahead and jump but that won’t stop [him] ” “ here you got a solid plan B option ” “ i can bring your [daddy] so much pain ” “ all you gotta do is say my name ” “ just say it three times in a row ” “ you won’t believe how far i’ll go ” “ i’m in the bench, but coah, just put me in the game! ” “ i don’t know your name ” “ well, i can’t SAY it ” “ how ‘bout a game of charades? ” “ yes, let’s play it! ” “ close, but no ” “ wow, i’m impressed ” “ all you gotta do is say my name three times ” “ three times in a row it must be spoken, unbroken ” “ you’re so smart, a stand-up bro ” “ i’ll think about your offer, let you know ” “ i prefer my chances down below ” “ being young and [female] doesn’t mean that i’m an easy mark ” “ i’ve been swimming with piranhas, i don’t need a shark ” “ yes, life sucks, but not that much ” “ be a doll and spare the lecture ” “ i’m offering you a full-time specter! ” “ are you any good? ” “ you bet’cha! trust me, baby! ” “ really, it’s a flattering offer ” “ don’t you wanna see [dad] suffer? ” “ i think i’d rather just jump off ” “ i may be suicidal but ___, it’s not as if i’ve lost my mind ” “ so, playing hardball, huh? you are tougher than you look ” “ just wanna make sure i know who i’m working with. go any references? ” “ ___, there you are! ” “ get away from [her] ! ” “ this is a dangerously unstable individual ” “ ___ is sexy! ” “ ___ is smart! ” “ ___ is a graduate of Julliard! ” “ [he] can help, we found [him] on yelp ” “ our troubles all ended on the day that we befriended ” “ every word is the truth ” “ what the heck was that? ” “ so violating! ” “ there you go, kid, couple of five-star reviews ” “ that was possession ” “ any ghost can do that in less than one lesson ” “ pretty much any ghost’ll do, sure ” “ then, ___, what do i need you for? ” “ woah, woah, woah woah woah! hold up! ” “ hold up! i’m your pal! ” “ they’re sweet, but i’m a demon straight from hell ” “ i know, i went a little hard on the sell ” “ we’re BF-F-F-F’s forever! ” “ what? he was already dead ” “ we don’t need that demon ” “ together we can make a grown man weep ” “ we got a dinner date to keep ” “ okay, so what’s the plan? ” “ [he’s] gonna freak when we possess him ” “ i’ll lead that lamb to slaughter ” “ yeah, i got game! ” “ i’m gonna make [him] say my name ” “ not running away ”

DAY-O (THE BANANA BOAT SONG)/ACT I FINALE

“ what’s going on ___? are you alright? ” “ i don’t -- i dont know what just happened ” “ ___? do you need to lie down? ” “ what is happening to me? ” “ work all night on a drink of rum ” “ daylight come and me wanna go home ” “ stack banana till the morning come ” “ wait, why aren’t you dancing? ” “ it’s like i told you, ___, this house is haunted, and the ghosts who live here want you OUT ” “ who wants bacon? ” “ no! no! i’m a vegan! ” “ shut up, you moron! don’t apologize, we’re gonna be RICH! ” “ a genuine haunted house? it’s a goldmine! ” “ these ghosts are gonna make us a fortune! ” “ no! you’re supposed to be scared! ” “ there’s one thing that can still stop [him] ” “ ___, no! you don’t know what’ll happen! ” “ i can’t keep living like this! ” “ oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! i’m so glad you changed your mind! ” “ you are never gonna regret this! ” “ we are gonna make such a great team! ” “ give me just... one... more... ” “ it’s SHOWTIME! ” “ it’s our house now, kid! ” “ looks like we’re not invisible anymore! ”

#Lyric Meme #lyric starters #lyric sentence meme #rp lyric meme #lyric sentence starters #rp meme #rp starters #rp #sentence meme #sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #beetlejuice rp meme #beetlejuice sentence starters #beetlejuice lyric starters #Role play meme #role play starters #role play sentence meme #role play lyric starters

[pretend-im-not-writing]

A Mysterious Call

Fandom: Gravity Falls

Stan answers a phone call.

Rating: E

Wordcount: 1,330

Warning: If you still haven’t seen Gravity Falls, or seen it to completion, there are spoilers in this fic. Read at your own discretion.

I can’t necessarily say I did this well, but I did it. And that’s that.

“Damnit, Ford.”

Stan pulled his wrench down with a grunt, tightening the pipes connector so it would be stable. He wasn’t sure if this configuration was going to be the one to bring Ford back, but he was never really sure about that. Not without the other journal, at least. Still, after a month and a half of trying, not knowing wouldn’t stop him now.

Stan put his wrench to the side before going back to the lever standing proud in the center of the room. Had he been a smarter man, he probably would have been thinking of checks to make sure the machine wouldn’t fail like all the other times. All he could think of though was, Hopefully this time it will work. 

As the brown haired man reached to grab it, his mind turned back to that day. If only he hadn’t punched Ford. If only he hadn’t pushed him.

“Heh, and if only I had a million bucks, too.”

With his brows furrowed, Stan grabbed the lever and pulled. As he watched, electricity coursed across the portal covering the wall of the basement room. A smile came over his boxy face as he watched light pour out of the machine. As the noise poured out of it, he cried out.

“Yes. Yes!”

The excitement was short lived, however. As quickly as the machine had lit up, it went dark again. Its noise died down, and with it, Stan’s hopes sunk.

“Damnit all!”

He wanted to punch something. Another weeks worth of work, all for nothing. His brother was still lost.

Violence wouldn’t solve this problem, though. So, with a sigh, the brown haired man retrieved his wrench, ready to go back to work again.

Before he could find a new place to start, however, a very slight sound reached his ears. It sounded like... ringing?

Stanley frowned as he slapped the side of his head. “Great, and I thought that was only temporary. Damn Boxing injuries.”

It took a couple minutes before the ringing stopped. “Ah, there we go.” With a smirk on his face, the man went back to observing the device his brother had made.

His reprieve lasted only a minute as the ringing began again. “Are you kidding me?!” Stan smacked the side of his head again, but the ringing didn’t stop.

Despite his attempts to knock the ringing out of his head, the sound continued to bother the mid-aged man. With a growl, he slipped through the door to the control booth, heading towards the stairs. As he climbed his way to the ground floor, though, he noticed that the ringing seemed to be getting louder.

As he opened the hidden door, it was obvious to Stan that the ringing wasn’t in his head. It was with a sigh that he made his way over to his phone, reaching over his newly made Duckoala exhibit to answer it. He started with his usual practiced tone before the other side could even begin.

“You’ve reached the Murder Hut. Sorry, but we’re currently closed. If you wanna plan a party, you’re gonna wanna call back in the morning.”

The other side of the line was quiet for a moment. Stan was about to hang up on the call, but a young mans voice stopped him.

“Stanford?”

Stan’s eyebrow raised. He hadn’t heard this voice before, so he had to be careful. Just one slip, and his cover could be blown.

“Who’s askin’? And if it’s the police, those pugs were already there when I got there.”

That should throw off the scent a bit.

“Oh, yeah. We haven’t talked much since you moved out there. It’s me, Sherman.”

Stan’s breath stopped. Of all the people he expected to possibly call, his brother wasn’t even on the list.

The line was quiet before a soft call came through. “Hello?”

“Little Shermie?”

A soft chuckle came over the line before a response. “Not so little anymore.”

Stan shook himself a bit. While he was kicked out before Shermie could even remember him, he couldn’t let the veil slip. Still, his next question came out dazedly. “Oh, uh, hey kid. What’s going on?”

A sigh came over the phone as the voice replied slowly. “Did you... have you seen the papers yet?”

Stan was slow to answer himself. It was obvious what the younger man was talking about. His faking his own death was the only thing that could have effected the other guy in the last few days. “Yeah, I saw.”

“It took me a while to gather the courage to call you up. I... heard that you two had had a falling out, and I know dad wasn’t happy with him, but still...” The boy Stan could only remember as a baby seemed to tip-toe around the fight. He was sure the others had told him some bad things, but the kid seemed to be of a different mind.

“He was still family.” Stan finished the thought for his brother in a soft tone. He could practically hear the nod on the other side of the phone.

“Right.”

Silence fell on both sides of the phone. Thoughts of telling the truth ran through his mind, but were quickly squashed down. He wouldn’t be able to do this if he told the truth now.

The silence was finally broken by Sherman. “I... don’t want us to be alone anymore, Stan.”

“Huh?”

“I know you’re doing big things out there, but I don’t think the family should be apart like this anymore. Stan... he was alone when it came, and I don’t want you to end up like that. So, won’t you come back home?” The tone wasn’t really questioning, but it wasn’t quite pleading either.

Stan was quiet for a moment. A chance to come home? He had been working for this for years, over a decade even. Could he really pass this up?

It only took a look at the vending machine to answer his question.

The older man’s voice went hard as he spoke. “Sorry, Shermie, but I can’t. I got some work that I really gotta do here.”

“Oh.” The voice on the line was low. Defeated. “I see.”

Stan looked at his feet as his hat shaded his eyes. He knew he couldn’t go home yet, not with the family broken like this.

“Well, maybe I could come up and see you some time?”

The shadows around Stan seemed to lift a bit. “Oh, uh, are you sure? This place is kinda a dump.”

The receiver gave a soft laugh. “Course I’ll come. Besides, I wancha to meet my girl.”

“Well, if you’re sure. I think I can clean up a bit, if it’s for family.” A small smile came to the older mans face. It would be nice to see how little Shermie has grown.

“I am.” The voice was light over the phone lines. It had been a while since he heard that kind of tone talked towards himself. “Stan?”

“Yeah, Shermie?”

“I just wanted to say... It’s been nice talkin to ya, big bro.”

At these words, water started to gather in his eyes. With one hand, he brushed away at his eyes, keeping the tears from forming. “Yeah, it’s been good hearin from ya.”

“I’ll see ya soon.” With those last words, the line cut off, leaving only the ended call tone coming through.

Stan stood there for a moment after putting the receiver back in its cradle. Despite his best efforts, a tear rolled down his cheek. It had been so long since he had last spoken happily to any of his family.

“So, he’s got a girl, huh?”

The older man’s face hardened again as he looked towards the vending machine again. One fist clenched as he approached it and punched the code into the buttons, opening the secret door.

As Stan walked down the stairs, only one thought repeated in his mind.

It’s for family.

#gravity falls #stanley pines #stanford pines #Sherman Pines #Fanfiction

[clonecaptains]

Agh I’m so excited for your Frank and Maria one shots! They’re gonna be gold! :) Random idea, but some sort of angst fluffy shot of Frank and Maria when he was on a break from a previous tour. Maybe something where Maria gets hurt or is in danger and he takes care of her and she gets a look at how he is when he’s working/in the zone and she’s super proud of him.

ao3 link

Maria’s fingers weave through Frank’s beard. Her nails gently scratch his jaw and his chin. A soft groan escapes Frank’s lips. Her lips press onto his and she smiles from the beard tickling her lips. Her hands comb through his dark curls and she presses his bearded face on her neck and chest. He kisses her skin, and his beard scrapes her flesh. He feels her shiver under him.

“I like this,” she smiles, referring to his beard.

“That right?” Frank replies with a slight smirk.

“I wish you had this when I was alive, so I could’ve enjoyed all the benefits of it,” she purrs.

Oh.

For a brief moment, Frank could feel her fingers, he could feel her breath. Those dreams feel so real. Then he remembers. She’s gone. He knows she would’ve liked his beard. She always liked his scruff when he had it.

He rolls over in the dark to find sleep, this time his dreams are haunted by a nightmare, one that was all too real.

Years before the carousel, Maria had almost lost her life. She’d been in a severe car accident.

Frank dreamed of the wreck, and when he woke up he remembered everything about those few days. At the time that was one of the worst days of his life.

He remembered how it took every ounce of willpower not to tackle the guy to the ground that crashed into Maria. If she wasn’t hurt then Frank might’ve hit him. Besides, the cops were about to be on the scene in any moment. Looking at the blood on Maria’s arm, Frank couldn’t believe the day turned out like this. He’d been home from tour for a week.

Fondly Frank smiles in memory of meeting them after that tour.

Maria, little Lisa, and his infant son met him at the airport. Frank beamed seeing his little family. It’s grown since he last saw them - Maria was pregnant with Frank Jr when Frank left. Lisa was holding Maria’s hand, and Frank Jr was strapped to his mom’s chest. Little Lisa babbled and waved hello to her daddy, and Frank scooped her up in his arms while he kissed Maria deeply. “Hey you,” Frank smiles at his wife.

Gently, Frank touched Frank Jr’s head. He reached for his son, but Frank Jr cried in fear of the stranger trying to hold him.

“It’s ok Frank,” Maria whispered and gently patted her husband’s arm.

“You talkin’ to me or him?” Frank says with a soft smile. “That’s gonna be confusing isn’t it?” he teases with a wink. He’s still a little hurt - but he doesn’t want her to know.

“I just thought there should always be a Frank around,” Maria smiles kissing her son on the head. She squeezes Frank’s hand as he leads her out of the airport. Maria tosses Frank the keys to his car, “you wanna drive?”

“Where’s your car?” Frank asks while Maria puts Frankie into his car seat.

“I thought you’d want to drive. My car is in the shop.”

Lisa babbles happily in Frank’s arms and gives him a couple slobbery kisses. “Hey sweetheart,” Frank laughs trying to get his fidgety girl into her car seat.

“Why’s your car in the shop?” his eyes catch Maria’s while they buckle in their children.

“Something wasn’t working right, and I couldn’t wait for you to get home to try and fix it.”

Frank thinks about the irony. Her car had been in the shop. A few days after he came home from the tour, he and Maria went to pick up her car. It was on the way back home that her car was hit.

The kids were in Frank’s car luckily, their car seats were still inside his truck. And Frank had been so happy to have that moment with just his babies. He remembers looking in the rear view mirror at Maria behind him - she was singing along to the radio when suddenly he saw another car slam into her.

Panic hit him and he stopped his car and ran to help his wife. She’d been knocked unconscious from the blow, and her arm was bleeding.

His car could’ve been hit and his children could’ve been hurt. But staring at his injured wife didn’t make that scenario any better. Her car door is bent in a way that Frank can’t get it open no matter how hard he tries.

When the paramedics arrive, they carefully get her out.

Frank remembers the ache in his chest when she asked about her children, and she asked if Frank was ok, as if she didn’t remember that he was home.

As long as Frank lives he will never forget waiting in the hospital with his babies while his wife drifted in and out. He wishes for that pain now. He’d do anything to hold his babies again, and have a wife alive that’s sore and has a broken arm, than nothing.

The joy he felt watching Lisa run around the waiting room, happily finding anything in there to be a fun toy. Frankie was still unsure, but once he realized Frank had food for him, his trust was won.

Frankie was asleep in Frank’s arms, and Lisa was asleep in her daddy’s lap when the doctor came to tell Frank that Maria would be just fine.

Maria’s arm was broken, so some of her tasks were not as easy to do when she got home. Frank made her get some rest and he would take care of the kiddos.

Lisa was a little sleepy from the long afternoon. So when Frank told her mommy was taking a nap, Lisa wanted to nap too.

That left Frank alone with his son.

He’d been home a week but not had the chance to really bond with his boy. Frankie was a tired too - his nap time had been interrupted. He was restless and wriggly in Frank’s arms, to solve this problem - Frank got his son something to eat. Once he had a full stomach, Frankie’s eyes got heavy and he conked out in Frank’s arms.

For as long as he could he cradled his son before he took him to his crib.

He checked on Lisa and his wife, and all was quiet in the house.

Frank glanced at his watch to see that it was 5:30 pm, and everyone in his house is asleep but him. He enjoys the peace and takes that opportunity to cook dinner for his wife.

He cleaned up a bit in the kitchen, started on dinner, and took out the trash. Finally something normal. Without fail Frank struggled to adjust back to normal life after a tour. He had been struggling but the wreck seemed to pull him out of it.

In the kitchen, Frank turned on the faucet to run some hot water for the dish he was making. Periodically he stuck his fingers into the stream to test for the warm water. None came.

Quietly he went into the hall bathroom to test the hot water in that sink. It ran just fine.

While his family slept, Frank went to the garage to get his tools. The set was dusty from not having been touched in over a year. He set to work on the faucet, and in no time he’d solved the problem. He wondered how long that had been broken, and why Maria didn’t say anything or have someone fix it.

“Thank you,” Frank heard her voice behind him. “That’s been broken for months.”

“Why didn’t you call someone?” Frank asks drying his hands with his work rag.

Maria flushes slightly, “I didn’t want to call anyone, I wanted it to be you.”

She closed the gap between them and gently touched Frank’s face with her hand. Her broken arm was pressed against her body in a sling.

Her fingers brush against his stubble and she kisses his lips.

“I like this,” she smiles, referring to his stubble.

“That right?” Frank replies with a slight smirk.

“I wish I wasn’t so sore, so I could enjoy all the benefits of it,” she purrs.

Hearing her voice, and seeing that look in her eyes makes Frank ache. It’s been over a year since they made love, and right now he’d do anything to strip her naked and make love to her in that kitchen. But her body is aching, and she doesn’t need that kind of exertion.

“Don’t,” Frank teases her. “You’re in no condition.”

“I know,” she whines and rests her head against Frank’s shoulder.

“Besides I’m makin’ you dinner, I’m busy,” he winks.

“What are you making?” she asks, and Frank hoists her up onto the counter.

“Tryin’ one of your recipes for pasta.”

Frank thinks back on that moment with a smile. He’d been so happy to cook for her. He knows if she hadn’t been in such pain, they would’ve have definitely made love that night.

He feels that ache again when he thinks of that first time after she felt better. Her arm was still broken, and Frank had done a lot of cooking and taking care of the kids that week so Maria could heal up. When her body wasn’t so sore, she was sitting up on the counter again, while the kids napped.

Frank slid off her pants and knelt in front of her, and upon her request - he didn’t shave so she could feel the stubble burn between her legs. After he pleasured her, he helped her off the counter and they made love on the kitchen floor.

For a moment, Maria felt embarrassed at how un-sexy her cast was on her arm, but it was soon forgotten when Frank’s hands were wandering her body. She sat on top of him, and he helped her move - she only had one good arm to support herself.

Happy married sex while his children slept. Fixing the sink for his wife, and making her dinner. Tucking his daughter into bed, feeding his infant son his supper. All things he misses. He never took any of those things for granted then - he knew he wouldn’t always be around for those moments as a marine. A part of him is grateful he was so aware of how much those moments meant.

He can’t believe he actually misses that day of worrying about his wife in the hospital.

He strokes his beard one last time, he has to shave it to get ahead of Micro. He knows Maria would have liked it.

Will he always think of her in everything he does? Even when he shaves?

The razor hums and he can just see Maria in that tiny room with him.

“You gonna let me feel that beard one more time before you get rid of it?” she might have said with a wink. What Frank wouldn’t do to hold her again, to taste her again.

All he has now are memories and dreams.

#frank castle #maria castle #frank x maria #the punisher #tps #my writing #AHHH I WEEP #I LOVE TO WRITE FOR THEM #anonymous #answered #thank you for this request anon!! #i've got a lot more planned for these two <3

[specialmindz]

“Ooooh! Look at dat bunny baby Snas!”

“Mmnahh..gag..”

“heh, it’s a cutie all right,” said Sans smiling as the baby continued to gurgle. Apparently it had just woken up from a nap.

I wish my brother took naps.

“Dat baby’s fluffy as hell lady!”

“Um, uh..thank yo-”

“Where you get these fluffy babies? You gots two and now you gets twee?! Where da’ baby store at?!”

“W-well-”

“*sniiiiiff*”

“Please..don’t do that Sans.”

“TELL ME WHERE DA’ BABY STORE AT!”

“volume lil’ bro.”

“Why don’t you ask your parents where the babies come from?” asked the mother rabbit nervously.

They’ve so much energy…

“I KNOWS where babies come from! Daddy says babies come from da’ store like erything else, but I can’t FINDS it! I looks and I looks, but I can’t finds it nowheres!”

“Ha ha ha ha ha!”

“the baby store huh?”

“Yep! Didn’t you know dat Snas? You buy da’ babies at the secret store…”

“heh heh heh, no i didn’t know that pap.”

Bro’s so cute… 

“Is too! The store like a secret cwub and you can only gets in if you go with someone you loves…”

“Awww!”

“You can also gets em’ online if you go to the Deep Web.”

“….”

“the what…?”

“Dat’s probly where Daddy get us cause’ nobody love him.”

“papyrus!”

“Daddy say I’s da’ worst purchase he ever maked-”

“Let’s change the subject-”

“Cept’ for Snas.”

“….”

“He gotted the two for one deal online, but they sends him cwap babies. Snas’ font don’t work and he be cweepy-”  

“Would you like to hold the baby Papyrus?”

Papyrus’s eyes lit up. “Yeah! I gonna holds it real good! Look Snas, watch the baby!” Papyrus carefully cradled the newly born rabbit in his arms, being careful to support it’s neck, much to the mother’s surprise. 

“Eerrah…?” The baby looked at him warily.

“Hellwoe baby, you’s so cute! Erybody gonna love you cause’ you’s a bunny and nobody hate bunnies. How old you be?”

“He’s-”

“I asked the baby.” 

“bro…!”

“Heh heh ha ha ha! It’s alright Sans, he WAS talking to my little one after all,” said the innkeeper laughing.

Still… 

“pap needs to learn some manners, he’s getting so rude…”

“Baby not wude!” exclaimed Papyrus angrily.

“You’re a baby?”

“Course’ I’s a baby! Look at dis butt! I gots a tiny hiney and tiny hands and tiny feets-”

“But you’re a little tall to be a baby don’t you think? You’re probably a toddler.”

“Well you’s a widdle ugly to be a bunny, and he probably found!”  

“papyrus no!”

“Heh heh ha ha ha! Okay, that was a little rude.”

“you’re getting out of hand baby bro,” said Sans embarrassed. “these days if you aren’t threatening people or interrupting them, you’re bossing them around! dad might take you back to the store if you don’t behave you know…”

“Sans!”

“Is too dat da’ baby still innerrupt peoples, but Muder teachin’ me to be good and I’s getting better! You don’t know what you’s talkin’ bout’ Snas. Isn’t that right bunny baby?”

“Gha-roo?”

“mother? is that what you said?”

We don’t have a mother…

“Yep, Muder teaches the manners and gives me sweets when I’s good! She real nice-”

“we don’t have a mother papyrus, who is this person you’re talking about?”

It can’t be the lady who runs the store here in Snowdin, Papyrus always calls her the cinnabun lady…

Who the hell…?

It bothered Sans that someone, ANYONE, would take it upon themselves to look after his little brother..especially with the rumors about him still flying around. So far Papyrus had scared or killed everyone off in the lab and the grieving families and terrified survivors made it known all over the Underground. His brother was on his best behavior with the rabbit family, but everyone else learned to avoid him a long time ago as dogs in Snowdin disappeared and the puzzles in Hotland begun to mysteriously malfunction due to baby toys being shoved between the gears. 

Who would want to risk their life taking care of a baby that isn’t even theirs?

The jumping platform puzzles sometimes sent monsters who used them hurling into the lava where their dust couldn’t even be collected, causing most monsters who couldn’t survive such temperatures to try and find an alternate route to work or school. Protests against his brother had been common for a long time until finally the king gathered everyone in the Underground and said something that turned Sans’ soul to ice.

“Okay child, apologize to all the people now,” said Asgore lifting the baby bones up to the mic.

“I’s not a child, I’s a baby!”

“Oh dear, my mistake, heh heh ha. You’re so intelligent I sometimes forget you’re just an infant!”

“Babies aren’t stupid, YOU’S stupid!”

“c’mon bro…”

“Just tell your lie Papyrus so we can all go home.”

“!!!!”

Asgore knows Papyrus can make people believe his lies, but he’s a guy! He can’t BE a mother! 

“The purple lady big Buther! She a classy lassy!”

“purple..lady…?”

I don’t know anyone like that…

“h-how come i’ve never met her bro?”

If this person’s real, they’re a freaking psycho.

“She only take care of babies. Mamma spidies don’t look after children and she likes to cook big people’s into doughnuts-” 

“Sans can I talk to you a minute alone please?”

“Hey! I’s talkin’ over here!”

“I’m sorry dear, but this is important. Can you look after the baby alone for a minute or two?”

“you’re leaving your baby with papyrus?!”

“It’s VERY IMPORTANT Sans.”

“uh, okay…”

The mother rabbit led Sans upstairs to the second floor of the inn.

“is this about the purple-lady?”

“Yes it is,” said the mother rabbit quietly. “You said you don’t have a mother and your father sounds…”

“like a prick.”

“Yes.”

“okay, so?”

“So it’s common for children to have imaginary friends when they’re lonely, and your brother may be pretending to have a mother because he doesn’t like his father.”  

“ohhhh!”

I didn’t think of that!

That’s kinda sad actually…

“I think it’d be best to just let him pretend, okay? We don’t want him to feel unloved, especially with all these horrible rumors around! My husband I’m ashamed to say, was a part of the war against skeletons and there are a lot of people here who still don’t-”

“huh?”

“What?”

“what war? what are you talking about?”

Oh dear. 

“Um, never mind darling! Just look after your brother alright? He needs your love and support.”

“yes ma’m. i’ll try my best.”

“*Sigh*” The mother rabbit pet Sans affectionately on the head. “You’re such a good boy Sans, I wish more people were like you. Listen, if you ever need to talk-”

“i’ll be fine. it’s not as bad as pappy makes it sound, dad’s just a smartass, he doesn’t put us in cages or anything, heh.”

“Oh good, I was worried for a bit! We don’t want you or your brother growing up to be crazy sociopaths do we? Heh heh ha ha ha!”

“……”    

“Well let’s go back downstairs before your brother takes to kidnapping. *giggle* I think he might want a baby of his own~”

“well i can’t help him with that, unless you wanna do me a favor.”

“…..”

“i’m sorry.”

“…Don’t worry child, keep practicing. You’re Comic Sans, you’ll be funny someday I just know it!”

Ow.

“NO BABY, DON’T EAT DA’ SCARF! I COOKS YOU FOR BREAKFAST!!”

“Go get him please, and remember what I said about taking care of your brother.”

“yes ma’m, i’ll take good care of him, i promise.”

Sans went back downstairs.

Alright, I’m guessing you’re all wondering why I obviously used my own art here instead of paying tribute to someone else’s with my mini stories as per usual. Well that’s because the artist had a problem with people posting their art so I took theirs down out of respect...even though I spent an hour on the story beneath it. 

I tried making a replica in photoshop in order to salvage the story, but adobe’s being a bitch and lagging, so the art came out badly. Hard to select, erase, or generally do anything with something when you have to move your mouse over the small part you wanna change for a full two minutes (I spent hours trying to make it look like Sans WASN’T aiming to look at the innkeeper’s boobs). -_-

#fonttale #fonttale au #undertale #undertale au #undertale fanart #undertale art #papyrus #sans #kid sans #baby papyrus #baby bones #annoying baby #fonts #skeletons #horror fonts #comedy #funny #muffet