#currently listening to Let's Get Away from it All by Sinatra and a couple others

[coraxaviary]

I'm fairly sure this link has been posted before but I feel like shouting it out --

This site has a '40s radio channel (as well as channels for each era going to the 1900s) that I've really been enjoying when I get tired of my typical music rotation.

I didn't know where to start when trying to understand what the WWII GIs would have been playing in their clubs or on the Jukebox, but the station just gives you a randomized sampling that is super fun to listen to.

#hbo war #band of brothers #the pacific #when I hear certain '40s tracks I am very sad the singing clips were cut out of Band of Brothers #you've probably seen the photo... if i find it I'll reblog it or post it right after this post #Liebgott was definitely there... Toye (I hope?) since he was known to be a fun singer among the men #btw this isn't headcannon. it's real fax #not writing #currently listening to Let's Get Away from it All by Sinatra and a couple others

[nedlittle]

top 5 most underrated MCR songs 👉🏻👉🏻

burn bright - gay transmac swag. that one genius comment was right calling it their third most homosexual song right behind mama and prison. my second fave track of conventional weapons; feels like spitting out a mouthful of blood and getting gravel in your knees. the spanish guitar! you made me who i am. be afraid of what i am. you know you'll never get to heaven with a love like yours. gay people are real.

not that kind of girl - gay transfem swag. burn bright's preppy younger sister. you know this is underrated because whatever beachy waved cw sapphic couple tumblr is currently going goo goo ga ga over at any given moment ought to have at the very fucking least have gifsets with the lyrics to not that kind of girl. there should be not that kind of girl amvs for like. jennifer's body. incredibly unhinged example but are you picking up what i am putting down? where are the amvs. where's my dykey little teen movie. let me paint you a word picture: it is 2005. we open on two kids playing in a sandbox/larping as knights on the playground/exchanging friendship bracelets, protagonist voice over about how she wishes they could go back to being kids because everything was so less complicated. whatever. we zoom out to look at our protagonist--baby butch. bikini kill posters on her walls. truly heinous haircut. wants to Get Out of This Town. we follow her eyes as she looks out the window at the car that just pulled into her neighbours driveway. a person jumps down the stairs and into the car--gasp! it's the other girl from when they were kids. she gets into the car with her bland-ass boyfriend, locks eyes with our girl before driving away. BAM dirty little secret by all american rejects plays over the opening credits. the plot progresses. protagonist is worried that she's never going to amount to anything and will live and die in this shitty town just like her parents and her grandparents, tries to just keep her head down and get through high school unscathed, parents don't want their kids hanging out with her etc. meanwhile her childhood bestie is tightlaced into this life of high achievement: she's got a full ride to a good school, she's in model un and plays three different sports, on track to be valedictorian. a good kid. but she seems unhappy with being saddled with these expectations, her heart isn't in her relationship anymore. hmm i wonder why. the second half of the film follows her as she wonders what's wrong with her life that she doesn't want to live it. tries to avoid kissing her boyfriend, flunks an important test, gets concussed playing soccer because she's thinking about her childhood bestie. accidentally-on-purpose ends up at the only gay bar for miles just to. y'know. see what gay people are like BAM ring of keys moment with the intensity of ten thousand suns. BIG realization that she has to start living her life for herself. also gets a bad haircut. breaks up with her boyfriend. tells her parents she wants to take a year off before going to college. the girls kiss. last shot is them recreating the scene from the opening. fade out. BAM not that kind of girl plays over the closing credits. do you understand my artistic vision? i understand why it wasn't included on any albums proper because sonically and lyrically it doesn't quite fit anywhere but god it's SO fun and bouncy. nancy sinatra shoutout! the boots are big stompy combat boots. loud ass ray backing vocals. if you get it you get it if you don't you don't!!!

the end/dead - i cannot separate these two. they are conjoined twin sisters and even listening to them separately is an act of violence to me. possibly the funniest song transition overall. iconic transgender acceptance and resilience in the face of rapidly oncoming death into YEEEEEEEAHHHHHH. the huge, soaring guitars into an auditory experience i can only describe as these bitches frolicking around in my head while i speedrun the stages of grief. pitch perfect opening to such an ambitious album that i'm still shocked they managed to pull off. can we play either of these live again. can we please. either of them.

disenchanted - as i am disconnected from the fandom as whole and am just having fun with my friends i have no idea how disenchanted ranks amongst the fans as a whole but what i do know is that on the post i made about being thankful mikey gaslit the others to get disenchanted on the album while they were actively being haunted (mikeyway i love you there is so much wrong with you) someone said it was shit and i was overcome with holy rage. you don't get it. it was the roar of the crowd that gave me heartache to sing. you're just a sad song with nothing to say. an all time weeper. makes me experience regret and nostalgia and grief for a live i have never lived. trying to think of the most evil combos for a disenchanted encore. disenchanted/cancer. disenchanted/kids. demo lovers/disenchanted. i know you're there mikey. force your bandmates to put this one back on the setlists again. haunt them if you need to.

bulletproof heart - when i was in high school the only album i really listened to was danger days because i was too intimidated to get into the others. it was the most accessible to me, having listened to almost nothing but fall out boy from the time i was 13-18. i had no friends on my bus route home and it wasn't a long ride, thankfully, but it meant that i only got to listen to a little bit of danger days. depending on how fast i walked from the bus stop i'd make it home it home sometime during sing (also i like sing :( i do think it's good. ppl need to stop being mean to it bc it got airplay and was on glee even tho yeah the glee version was bad). i would do this every day my final semester of high school, the same three tracks, the same walk home. when i go through the one crosswalk by my house i instinctively think of the chorus to bulletproof heart because it always played at the exact same point. i measured my way home in my chemical romance and god i did want to run away from here. iconic gender with the jenny/johnny switch in the second verse. not even my favourite song off danger days but it's so special to me because i needed it to be <3

#faceofobsession #answered #i wanted this to be shorter but then i started writing a spec script. sorry. but do you SEE my artistic vision #sorry for getting sappy and expressing genuine emotions on tumblr dot com at the end there whoops #mcr #long post

[terrm9]

Cieli di Toscana

Words count: 1 600

Author’s note: I love Italy and Italian language, I miss hearing it, I miss eating gelato and the sea and I like Bocelli. That’s it, that’s all you need to know to understand this fluffy useless piece. Also, I tried to translate that one line the best I can, but my Italian is mediocre at best, so if someone from Italy sees it - please, feel free to correct my translation and don’t hate me if I got it absolutely wrong.

Takes place some weeks after the OHSY Finale.

It was raining heavily as Chiara stepped into Ethan’s car, making her sigh. 

“This is absolutely terrible weather for a road trip,” she rolled her eyes dramatically, earning an honest chuckle from Ethan.

They weren’t going on a road trip. They were invited to attend a conference in New York and as much as Ethan hated those, the vision of three whole days with Chiara, out of reach of the chaos that’s been erupting in Boston ever since Edenbrook’s closing and its subsequent grand re-opening, was enough for him to make a decision to go.

The excruciating rate of their lives in those past few months has also been reason why Ethan decided to drive for four hours to New York. Four hours on their way back and another four on their way back, eight full hours of the two of them being next to each other without anyone else’s presence, with nothing better to do than to simply be together. Hell, even if Chiara decided to just sleep the whole time, those eight hours of her peaceful sleep would be worth the time spent in a car.

“Okay, if you don’t want to start with my playlist,” Chiara waved indefinitely with her phone in the hand, “you better have something else than an audio book to listen to.”

To be absolutely honest, Ethan wouldn’t mind listening to her playlist if that would serve her best, however he gestured towards the dashboard on Chiara’s side of a car.

“There should be some old CD’s in there.”

Opening a storage space of the dashboard, Chiara raised her eyebrow at him and exclaimed: “Some old what? Have you ever heard of the possibility of connecting your phone to the radio?”

Ethan resisted his urge to pinch the bridge of his nose as he was in the middle of overtaking a truck. He knew what was coming and that he didn’t dispose of any power that could stop it.

“I remember the times when the only way to listen to something of your choice in a car was to use a CD. I said they were old.”

Chiara rolled her eyes, not even trying to hide the smirk that found its way onto her face. Of course he would remember that.

“Remind me again, which dinosaur was your favorite? You know, since you were lucky enough to live among them.”

“This joke is getting old.”

He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth, knowing that they would backfire terribly.

“Yes, and so are you,” Chiara replied without missing a beat, her triumphant grin so wide Ethan was sure her cheeks hurt.

She grabbed the first CD, disapprovingly muttering under her breath.

“Vivaldi, Sinatra, Schoenberg, another Sinatra, Bocelli? I know this one,” she turned to him with Italian tenor’s album in her hand.

Ethan glanced at her quickly and nodded, encouraging her to develop her statement.

“My mom loves Bocelli, like really loves, loves. I remember when this particular album came out, I was maybe eight or nine at the time and my mom would listen to it on repeat, all day for two solid weeks,” she chuckled to herself at the memory and decided to put the CD into the radio, letting herself get lost in the memories of her childhood. “My dad was going crazy, always shutting himself in his study to listen to Queen or David Bowie. I would usually follow him and when I asked him why he didn’t tell her to turn it off, he’d just smile, shrug and say something about the music making my mom happy.”

Chiara listened to the first track, the melody all too familiar despite not hearing it for at least fifteen years. It sounded like her parents and home and love. The unconditional love her father always held for her mother, the one that grossed her out when she was a kid and caused her to have unfulfillable expectations from boys when she was a teenager.

She always dreamt of meeting a man that would love her that way, the man that would listen to the music he hated and she loved just because it would make her happy.

Shaking her head slightly to get herself out of the dangerous waters of her mind, the waters of nostalgy, the waters of infinite sadness she felt when thinking about her dad and her brother and how they would never get to decide if Ethan deserved their precious Chia, their light, she cleared her throat and read the title written on the plastic cover of the CD.

“Cieli di Toscana. Do you know what that means?” she turned to Ethan, thankful that the traffic kept him from noticing how lost she’s been for the last few minutes.  

"Skies of Tuscany," Ethan replied, not tearing his gaze of the road.

Chiara smiled to herself, her mind taking her back to all those documentaries she's seen about that part of Italy.

"They must be bewitching. Skies of Tuscany, I mean," she leaned further into her seat, the soft melody of second song making it easier to just imagine being there, far away from struggles Boston had in store for her. "Have you ever been to Tuscany?"

Ethan nodded, his sharp gaze melting slightly as his focus has been divided between driving and reminiscing his time in Europe.

"Once. I've been attending a conference with Naveen in Florence. I hardly had any spare time for sightseeing and yet the city managed to render me speechless as I walked its narrow streets."

Despite his efforts to find a better word for the city, all he could think about, back then in Florence, was how romantic its streets were. He could still remember how his whole body both loved and hated the atmosphere and how, when he surly muttered that it was city made for couples, Naveen would laugh and say: „If you are clever enough not to repeat my mistakes, you will come back with a woman of your life one day and belong to those scandalous couples.“

Another memory flashed in his mind, too bright and fresh for his liking. The one where, laying on the thick fabric of hazmat suit that protected his chest, tears streaming down her cheeks slowly, Chiara admitted that she regretted not travelling more while she could.

„I’ll take you there, when this chaos settles down and we’re allowed to take some time off. I’ll take you to Tuscany then,“ he said softly, quietly, pretending to concentrate on the road, which must have looked absolutely ridiculous as the highway was currently deserted. He hoped Chiara didn’t notice how flushed the back of his neck suddenly became.

She didn’t.

Chiara was biting her cheek, staring back and forth at Ethan and the road. Her own cheeks were colored in a bright pink color, the sincerity of Ethan’s words making her weak.

It wasn’t only the fact that he remembered about her dream of visiting Italy. It wasn’t even about the way he told her, that he would take her. It was the fact that planning his future with her came so naturally to him at this point, he didn’t even need to think about it.

Lost in her thoughts once again, Chiara didn’t notice how Ethan’s eyes widened few seconds into fourth song when the recognition hit him.

It was the song he liked the most, the song that he would listen quite often to back in the days when this album kept him company on the roads.

It was the song that, just like the city of Florence, used to make that small, almost negligible part of him wish that he had someone to share it with.

With the rain falling heavily on the windshield, Chiara couldn’t hear Ethan’s almost unaudible singing. She could’ve easily miss it, if she didn’t notice his lips moving.

„Are you singing?“ she asked, absoltutely shocked. She caught him humming various melodies sometimes, but never in her whole life would she believe to see Ethan Ramsey sing.

‚Scusi se mi innamorai in un istante di lei per

l'aria serena che ha.‘

„Absolutely not,“ he shook his head, the wave of heat on his neck becoming almost unbearable. „I am reciting the lyrics, at best.“

How cute, Chiara thought.

However, she didn’t want to ruin the moment and so instead of teasing him mercilessly, she asked: „What does it say? The part that you absolutely weren‘t singing.“

„Excuse me if I, in an instant, fall in love with her for the air of serenity she has. Very freely translated.“

„How do you know the lyrics so well?“

„I like the song.“

„Sure, liking the song is one thing, but knowing – and singing – the lyrics is another. Especially when the lyrics is as soft as this one. Is the song special to you?“

She tried to ask it as casually as she could, as if she was simply curious, when really, there was a hint of jealousy blooming in her chest.

Was the song special to him? Did he use to recite it to his first girlfriend trying to impress her?

The car stopped at the red light, giving Ethan a chance to finally look at the woman next to him fully.

„It is now,“ he nodded, smiling softly as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

The expecting and so vulnerable green eyes staring back at him made his heart flutter. At this point, it was useless to pretened that he wasn’t utterly and terribly sappy when it came to her. Taking a deep breath, just before the red light turned to green, he whispered.

„The name of the song is Chiara.“

#open heart #open heart choices #open heart fanfiction #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ohsy

[immortalbarnes]

A Cabin For Two | Chapter 1: Here Comes the Sun

Bucky Barnes x Reader

summary: you and Bucky live another day in paradise and visit an old friend

warnings: just a little angst... and some internalized anger towards Steve Rogers

A/N: mainly a setup chapter, also this is my way of letting out pent out emotions towards the writers of endgame’s decision of sending Steve back in time

prologue

A normal day in the cabin consisted of semi-early mornings with something sizzling on the stove and the strong fragrance of coffee wafting through the dewy morning air. To the normal person, life in the middle-of-nowhere-New-York seems isolating and boring, but for two ex-hydra elite super soldiers, there is nothing better.

As Bucky brews a fresh batch of dark roasted perfection, you flip the finale of the stack of pancakes he suggested to make in bed some time earlier, and there is comfortable silence between the two of you, as you hear the coffee maker sing and feel your pristine white cat, Alpine, rub against your ankles.

Bucky comes up behind you and wraps his built arms around your waist, humming a Sinatra song you both originally missed out on in the 50’s. You smile, tossing the final silver dollar pancakes onto the tray to your right. He slips back away from you in time to turn off the stove and turn to see him now reaching out for you to dance with him as he begins to sing the words of a totally different song, probably from an entirely different era. (70 years of music is hard to catch up on)

“Here comes the sun…” He quietly sings to you as you step into his embrace, “And I say… It’s all right.” He serenades you, off key as his voice is still sleepy and gravelly, as you slow dance in the kitchen, Alpine circling you two.

“That’s not what you were humming earlier.” You contentedly point out.

“Forgot the words to that one,” He replies and continues singing The Beatles song.

“Doo-dun-doo-doo”

After he slowly closes out the tune, you gather your pancakes, syrup, coffee (of course), and some assorted fruits, and go out to the front porch. Out there, a small picnic table on your porch basks in the rising morning sun. You splay out your food and utensils, sit, and merrily eat, listening to birds chirp and watching bunnies scurry back to their homes.  Bucky’s eyes are shining as he watches the sun slowly rise. Neither of you know what time it is, your best guess is 7 or 8, but it doesn’t matter. There’s no missions to be sent out on, no reports to file, and  no one ordering you where to be. It’s you, Bucky, and mother nature, and you couldn’t ask for anything more.

“Y/N?” Bucky asks after a while, snapping you out of your content haze. His voice is quiet and soft, as if he intended to not startle you.

“Yes?”

“What should we do today?” You knew he was going to ask this question, for he asks it everyday. Somedays you go fishing or hunting, others you curl up by the fireplace and read to each other, and others you go on hikes, but no matter what the answer turns out to be, it’s the perfect answer.

“I don’t know, my love, is there anything you want to do today?”

“Can we visit Steve today? It’s been a while since…” He begins to attempt to justify, but you don’t need to hear it. Nothing broke your heart more than when Bucky found out Steve went back to the 40’s. You loved Steve, for he was everything to Bucky, and you do your best to be everything for him.

“Of course. Do you want to pick wildflowers to bring him? I want some for a centerpiece in our dining room too.” You offer, knowing that bringing Steve small gifts, like pies or paintings, helps Bucky know he’s doing everything he can for his best pal. Part of it hurts to see it, for it angers you that he would leave you two, that he would leave Bucky helpless and alone in a new world far from the one you knew.

…

It’s a short walk to a hill behind your cabin that’s draped in flowers. Having a lot of time on your hands, you began studying the natural floral of the state. Your personal favorite was the Trientalis borealis, or starflower, for it reminds you of the star on Bucky’s old arm, the one you used as a symbol for hope in your days with hydra. Waking up from cryo, you always searched for that deep red star, so you could know your soldier was there with you. Bucky loves Claytonia caroliniana, the spring beauties, only because he loved putting them in your hair. He claimed that the pale pink complimented your y/h/c strands perfectly.

Bucky picked some trout lilies, their petals a vibrant yellow, and you added some white wood aster to go with them. After adding some other plants you’re yet to learn about, you march back to your cabin and tie off the bouquet with some twine before getting into Bucky’s silver Jeep and heading to the city.

…

Steve’s eyes light up when he sees you and Bucky walk through the door, just like how Bucky’s light looking at the morning sun. Supposedly, there’s not much for America’s Golden Boy at Sunny Acres Nursing Home, so maybe Bucky is his sun.

“Bucky! Y/N!” Steve weakly greets the two of you as you walk in. Bucky is like a child, smiling at his wrinkled best friend, holding the small bouquet behind his back. He happily skips to the right side of the bed Steve is currently in, grinning ear to ear.

“We brought you these,” Bucky says as he presents Steve with the twine bound wildflowers you had picked this morning, “I hope you like them, we picked trout lilies this time to brighten up your room.”

“Geez, punk, don’t go soft on me now,” Steve jokes, “I love them.” With those simple words, Bucky beams. He can’t bear to think about how he was no longer there for Steve during his years on ice, so he tries everything to make it up to him during his final years.

“Jerk.” Bucky mumbles.

“Hey, Buck, y’all catch up. I’ll put the flowers in a vase.” You pitch in, taking the flowers to the small kitchenette on the other side of the room. Replacing the last bouquet you brought him now dried out and wilting, you find a nurse there preparing a meal. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you there!” You politely greet her, “My names Y/N.”

“Oh, I know, if it wasn’t for the news stories, it would be from Steve constantly talking about you and Mr. Barnes,” she says, “My name is Helen. I’m Mr. Roger’s primary caregiver.”

“Thank you for all you do for our friend. You said he talks about us a lot?” You inquire.

“Oh, all the time. He’s told me so many stories of the Avengers, and of course of  him and Mr. Barnes from before World War II. His stories are incredible!” Her smile is genuine as he continues the soup for Steve, “You know, as much as some of the other heroes try to come and visit him, nothing compares to how happy he is after Bucky visits. It’s really incredible how close they are.”

“Yes… It is.” You can’t help but feel a ting in your stomach when she said that. A small part of you will never forgive Steve for leaving Bucky, but you gotta get over it at some point.

Suddenly, you hear Steve erupt in a wheezy laughter at something Bucky says. Interested, you lean against the frame of the kitchen’s entrance to get a better ear to what they’re saying.

“...and Sam couldn’t stop laughing! It was one of the craziest things Alpine has ever done. Maybe I should bring him here! He’s quite the cuddler.” Bucky finished a story about your beloved cat, and you smile at the two super soldiers talking as if nothing ever happened.

“‘Scuse me,” Helen squeezes past you through the door, soup in hand, “Here’s your lunch, Mr. Rogers.”

“Helen, dear, please call me Steve.” Steve chuckles, “So how is Sam? He was here a couple of weeks ago. Is he still working with the shield?”

“He is. Sometimes he comes over, so I can help him get used to it. I guess it’s not as easy for someone without the serum.” Sam resided in a cabin not too far from yours, and he came over a good amount. If there was anyone who came close to filling the whole Steve left in Bucky, it was The Falcon himself.

“That’s good. The three of you should come up together sometime… with Alpine too!” Steve says, his attention then shifts to you across the room, “How are you, Y/N? Keeping Bucky busy I hope.”

“Oh definitely!” You laugh, striding to his bed, “‘few days ago, we shot a buck early in the morning. My guess was a good 160 pounds. We cooked it and invited Sam over for ribs that night! Had enough leftovers for two days.”

“Didn’t know deer-pot-pie was a thing until she figured out how to make it!” Bucky added, pulling you in by the waist and kissing the top of your forehead. You can’t help but glance down at the portrait of Peggy on his bedside table; right next to a picture of him and Bucky from the war.

The three of you converse for hours, and before you know it, Helen is bringing Steve his dinner. She politely points out that visiting hours are almost over, but that you’re welcome back anytime. You bid farewell to Steve and return to your vehicle for the drive back home.

“Buck?” You timidly say in the car, “Do you ever wish you went back to the 40’s with him?”

He thinks for a while, until he finally speaks, “I don’t think there was anything for me… besides Steve of course. Now, I have you. As long as I have you, I’m happy in any century.”

You bathe once again the happy silence for the rest of the car ride. How did you get so lucky? You did terrible, unimaginable things during your time under Hydra control, so why did the universe let you have someone so magnificent as James Buchanan Barnes?

…

You’re greeted by Alpine as soon as you step over the threshold of your front door. By the time you got back, the sun had begun to set, so you began to start on dinner. Bucky marinated fish you had gotten at a local farmers market the other day, while you washed vegetables from the garden you had out back for a salad.

The two of you sat together at your mahogany dining table, centered with a bouquet of wildflowers similar to the one you gifted Steve. The two of you made small talk, nothing but plans for the next day and compliments to each other on dinner… Until Bucky suddenly says:

“Y/N?” He began, “You know I love you, right?”

“And I love you.”

“You’re everything I’ll ever need, doll, you’re the hope I had in Hydra, and you’re the life I had after it. Ever since I first laid eyes on you at that war camp, I knew you were the gal for me. You’re my world. Never forget that.”

A tear begins to slide down your face, but you didn’t notice it until Bucky wiped it from your cheek, “Thank you, Bucky, I love you so much.”

The sun leaves you and your lover, ending another perfect day in the middle-of-nowhere-New-York.

#Bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #the winter solider fanfiction #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #a cabin for two

[steves-on-a-plane]

Violets, Red Velvet & Our Song

Words: 1318 Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Bucky’s Song that Reminds them of Bucky: My Ideal (Frank Sinatra Version) Reader’s Song that Reminds him of Reader: Roll To Me - Del Amitri Prompt:“I brought u to my friend’s wedding as my plus one and it was really fun and all but now it’s the end of the night and we’re sitting alone together at the reception and all these twinkle lights and flowers everywhere are causing a hell of a lot of romantic tension between us and oohhhh no did our song just come on” AU from: @dailyau & @madiboomonkey

“Buck! Buck! Buck!” You knocked on the dorm room door of your Avenger best friend. You knew he’d be home because he always went to the gym with Steve early in the morning and took a nap around eleven after breakfast and a shower. You continued to bang and call his name knowing he’d have to answer eventually. The door opened after only a minute or two of noise making.

Buck stood in the doorway holding the door half-ajar. His shoulder length dark brown hair fell forward, and he looked down at you with piercing blue eyes. He’d obviously been napping because he was wearing only sweatpants. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes with his vibranium hand.

“Can I help you, [Y/N]?” He sighed. “I assume there’s some sort of international crisis since you are knocking down my door so violently.” He folded both arms across his chest.

“I-I uh…” You’d temporarily lost your train of thought, either due to his frighteningly impatient gaze or his perfectly chiseled muscles. “Wedding.” You remembered suddenly. “I came to ask you to come to my friend’s wedding. As my plus one. Please?”

“Me?” He snorted.

“I said please! Listen, my friends always rag on me for being the only single one and it would just be embarrassing to show up to this wedding alone.” You explained to him.

“Why don’t you ask Tony or Sam? They’re more the fun at the party type.”  He told you.

“Because you’re my best friend and I want to go with you. You’re like a human security blanket.” You shrugged.

“Well, at least I’m good for something.” He rolled his eyes.

“So, you’ll come?” You asked.

“I didn’t say…what day is it anyway? I’m busy that day.” He complained.

“You never even gave me a chance to answer.” You argued.

“Alright, alright. I’ll go.” He conceded at last. “But I want your piece of cake. Now go away so I can finish my nap.” Bucky swung his door so that it would close on its own. He walked off towards his bed without another word. You stopped the door with your foot just short of closing all the way.

“Thank you, Bucky.” You called before shutting the door all the way and leaving him to his nap.

“Cake is here!” You announced, carrying two plates of red velvet cake. “Two pieces for my best friend as promised.” You placed both slices in front of Bucky, not forgetting the promise you’d made to him months ago. Bucky gladly accepted the cake and started digging his fork into the closest piece.

“This is good cake.” He smirked. “I’m sure glad I have two pieces.” He teased.

“You don’t have to be so smug about it.” You rolled your eyes. “But you earned that cake. My friends are all really impressed that I managed to find a date. They even seemed to like you.”

“Don’t go getting any ideas in your head.” Bucky insisted, waving his fork at you. “We’re not going to let this become a thing. You know, you dragging me to weddings and me pretending to be your date. I don’t like cake that much.”

“Here I was thinking you’d come as a favor to me.” You chuckled. You looked away from him to study the wedding venue. “Rachel did a good job with the decorations though. The twinkling lights, the cute little color-coded candles everywhere…”

“The violets.” Bucky commented between bites of cake.

“Hmmm?” You glanced back over at him with surprise.

“The violets.” Indicated the floral centerpiece in the middle of the table you were sat at. It was a delicate arrangement comprised of violets, lilacs, and Purple and Pink roses. “I remember last year on your birthday you bought a flat of violets and planted them in flower boxes in your bedroom windows. You said that violets were your favorite flower.”

“You remembered that?” You asked with disbelief. It wasn’t like Bucky was an uncaring or inattentive friend, you just hadn’t expected him to remember your favorite flower. After all your birthday was months ago.

“Well, you remembered my favorite flavor of cake.” He pointed down at the slice and a half in front of him. “That’s what friends do. Speaking of which, you gotta help me eat some of this.” He sectioned off a piece of the cake with his fork and offered it out to you. Without a second thought you leaned forward and ate the bit that he offered you. Just then the bride, your friend Rachel, and her now husband came sweeping by.

“Oh [Y/N], you and James make such a cute couple! We’re glad you both could come!” She smiled and you exchanged a few pleasantries before the happy couple glided off to greet other guests. You sighed wondering how Rachel had gotten so lucky.

“Don’t do that to yourself.” He commented. “I’ve seen enough gals in my time pining over their friend’s perfect lives. You’re a successful and beautiful woman and you don’t have to live your life based on someone else’s timeline.”

“Wow Buck,” You smiled at him. “That’s a very modern and inspirational stance on things.” You picked up your fork and stole a bite of his cake.

“Yeah well, unlike Rogers, I’ve accepted that it’s not the 1940s anymore. I’ve had enough of my life determined by other people. I’ll be damned if I let them do the same to you.” Bucky put his fork down and pointed at the dance floor. “Say aren’t they playing that song that you always say reminds you of me?” You put your own fork down and listened.

“I can’t believe you remembered that too.” You whispered to yourself.  

“Well, you dragged me to this wedding, will you do me the honor of at least one dance? Only if you want to of course.” He rose to his feet and offered you his hand.

“Anything for you Buck.” You agreed.

As you stepped out onto the dance floor, Bucky put one hand on your waist and held our other hand with his free one. The song you were dancing to was almost over. That wasn’t a surprise since the song was half over by the time, you’d recognized it anyway. As the song changed, Bucky still held you in his arms. You leaned your head in, almost resting on your shoulder.

Maybe it was the twinkling fairy lights casting a soft dancing glow around the even tent. Perhaps it was the fact that he remembered your love for violets and shared his much-loved red velvet cake with you, but if you didn’t know any better, you were falling in love with your best friend.

“Have I ever told you which song reminds me of you?” He asked, leading you out of tempo to the song currently playing. You thought for a minute, worried that he must have told you at some point, but you were just a bad friend who’d forgotten. “Maybe I didn’t.” Bucky shrugged. “It’s an old song, like me.” He smirked. “I’ll sing it for you.”

“Here?” You looked around.

“Why not?” He laughed. “No one else is going to hear me over this music. Just lean in like you were before.” You did as he instructed. You put your head on his shoulder and you thought you could hear his heart beating through his suit.

“Will I ever find the girl in my mind? The one who is my ideal? Maybe she’s a dream and yet she might be just around the corner, waitin’ for me. Will I recognize a light in her eyes, that no other eyes reveal?” You closed your eyes and listened to Bucky croon the sweet old love song to you. His voice was deep and nostalgic.

“Alright,” He laughed “I’ll stop making your ears bleed now.”

“No, It was beautiful.” You breathed. “Will you sing some more?”

#Bucky Barnes X Reader #Bucky Barnes FF #Bucky Barnes Fan Fic #Buck Barnes Fan Fiction #james buchanan barnes #Wedding Au

[youcanblogifyouwantto]

Biff’s Year in Music

2020 what can I say… I feel like this meme summed up the first half of it pretty well.

https://cheezburger.com/12209157/ant-man-meme-gives-a-recap-of-all-the-horrors-of-2020-so-far

Then to top it off this last week my son developed a spontaneous pneumothorax which basically is a collapsing of his lung for no apparent reason other than he is a tall thin white adolescent. To make matters worse he is 18 and COVID is raging in all the hospitals.  Thankfully my wife is an RN and should have been a lawyer as she was able to argue her way into staying with him.  Good thing she did because one the doctors fucked up so bad she gave him another Pneumothorax by turning a valve a wrong way.  Needless to say it has been a very rough year and especially rough week for me and my family.  Music has been and always will be the only constant positive release for me.  2020 had some great music and being home for almost an entire year now has led to a lot of music consumption.  The only other thing I did almost as much as listen to music was drink and cook food to match what I was drinking.  I’ve always loved beer and wine and dabbled in Whiskey but this year was the year of the cocktail for me.  I would discover a new alcohol type and then plan crazy elaborate dinners that cocktail would either be an aperitif of digestif for. Fun yes, healthy? …That is yet to be determined. I did take up running again to counter the amount I was drinking and eating and I would say that I have consistently worked out more this year than any other year so my liver might be fucked but my heart and lungs are strong.

So to start it off, this year saw releases from some of my all-time favorite musicians that I found nice and good even but never clicked or haven’t yet.  I had been eagerly anticipating Matt Berninger’s solo release all year and I dig it but strangely not enough to return to it unless I purposely tell myself to.  The same goes for Bright Eyes, Real Estate, Sylavan Esso, Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever minus Cars in Space (I played the shit out of that song), Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Car Seat Headrest, Dirty Projectors, Sufjan Stevens, Laura Marling (on first listen I thought easy top for the year then Fiona Apple came out and I haven’t returned to Laura Marling since), Damien Jurado, Jason Isbell, Neil Young (Homegrown had a special place in my heart for a month but again haven’t returned since August), Future Islands, Kevin Morby, and Busta Rhymes. All of these albums I do not hate or even dislike in fact some I liked a lot at first but just didn’t have staying power.  The following list are albums I loved that some stayed all year in rotation. Not in particular order but kinda like a Coachella poster if it’s near the top it’s one of my favorites of the year. I can be very longwinded on paper and very brief in person so I will try my antisocial tendencies to describe these albums. I will say for the most part the albums that hit this year are like comfort food music for my soul.

Waxahatchee  - St. Cloud – Home, comfort, introspective

Phoebe Bridgers – Punisher – Witty, production, great voice

Run The Jewels – RTJ4  - best running album ever. My favorite from these guys and best rap album I’ve heard in a while.

Jeff Tweedy – Love is the King. Maybe blasphemy but I like better than Warm. Perfect example of music comfort food. His biography is great too and so is the Summer teeth deluxe reissue.

Fleet Foxes – Shore – Beautiful, peaceful everything I needed from them and more. Side note Helplessness Blues was the first album review I ever wrote for ATR and I’m so glad I found those guys! Thank you for continuing the tradition.

Jeff Rosenstock – NO DREAM There was some good punk rock this year but this was the best also great running music. Rosenstock is now my go to for punk

Taylor Swift- Folk Lore- Story Telling, Sweater music, more music comfort food. And now Evermore continues the greatness. Dorothea might be my favorite track from both records. If you would have told me a Taylor Swift album would be in my tops for the year a couple of years ago I would have laughed you out of my face and now she has two albums in my tops. 2020 is one crazy year!

The Avalanches- We Will Always Love You- I’ve loved every single and was waiting for this to drop before posting this.  Well Worth the wait. I like it better than the Gorillaz release and that is saying a lot. It’s hard to have this many spot on features and keep a cohesive vibe! Johnny Marr meets MGMT is another need more of this collab.

Loma  - Don’t Shy Away- If 2020 could be articulated through music disorienting but also working from home has some perks. Good balance of weird and comfort

Adrienne Leckner – Songs- She writes great songs and performs them immaculately

Muzz- ST – The last show I went to before shutdown was Morrissey with Interpol opening and I forgot how much I love Bank’s voice.  This album is highly underrated in my opinion especially Evergreen.

Gorillaz –Song Machine – Best since Demon Days and Robert Smith/Damon Albarn Collab was never anything I thought I needed but now want more of. When Tony Allen died I went through a deep Tony Allen dive that was quite enjoyable. Great Drummer!

Dinner party – ST – The title explains it better than I can

Against All Logic – 2017-2019 – Kelly Lee Owens and this were the only electronica to stay all year both great running albums and If you can’t do it good do it hard is worth the price of admission alone

Hamilton Leithhauser- The Loves of your life- I love this man and I loved the walkmen. I feel he for me is like Frank Sinatra was for my mom. Not as sweet as a voice but can sing the hell out of a song.

Walter Martin – The world at Night- Another Walkmen member, this is another comfort food album it just feels right in my soul

Ka – Descendants Of Cain – Criminally underrated for too long this dude paints lyrical mood pictures like GZA.

Perfume Genius – Set My Heart On Fire Immediately – Beautiful Authentic Elegant

Fiona Apple – Fetch The Bolt Cutters  - Lyrically and sonically slays me. You have to like spoken word and weird rhythm texture but she nails both of those.

Bonny Light Horseman- ST – Great folk indie I just knew this was an album for me on first listen

Rose city band - Summerlong – Best new discovery, feeds my jam band meets indie soul

Strokes - The New Abnormal – I don’t know why this didn’t get more love? I loved it and The Adults are Talking is top five best Strokes songs.

Pinegrove- Marigold – More indie comfort food music

Bartees Strange – Live Forever – Second best new discovery. This dude is all over the place but in a good way. If you like this check out his singles where he covers many National songs.

Kelly Lee Owens – Inner Song- My Friend Antony described this better than I can at the current moment. Inner songs indeed.

The Killers – Imploding the Mirage- Most surprised album of the year, I’ve never been a big Killers fan but this one just wrapped it hooks inside me and didn’t let go all year

Young Jesus – Welcome to Conceptual Beach- Avant-garde or experimental music stretches me in ways that are very good for my soul and this one was such an album

My Morning Jacket – Waterfall II – Took a trip up to Humboldt in Early August and this was the soundtrack of the trip. Very much needed social distance return to nature vacation.

Hum- Inlet – I rocked out to this many a summer early fall evening sitting on my dock fishing and drinking beer.

Haim- Women in Music Pt. III – Best Haim yet and yes they are maturing into great song writers

Nation of Language- Introduction, Presence – Third best new discovery.. My friend Spencer at Shadows and Noise (a blog I’ve contributed to on occasion) accurately describes this album nicely. My wife loves Depeche Mode, New Order, and Erasure so this album is a new version of that genre that she and I can love together.

Coriky- ST – Half of Fugazi with a female drummer that sounds like classic Sleater Kinney in fact Fugazi meets Sleater Kinney is how I would describe this and that can’t be wrong!

EP’s Singles

James Blake- Before (Great marriage of his old and new)

Kruangbin & Leon Bridges- Texas Sun

Local Natives – Sour Lemon

Radio Dept – The Absence of Birds

Leon Bridges – Sweeter

Tom Berlin – Projections

Father John Misty – To S/ To R

Rostam- Unfold you

 Mank is one of the only great movies of 2020!

[eyesontheskyline]

(about the whole fic writer asks, except those answered now) the story specific ones have to be about 'but if you really hold me tight' - I love all your cxg fics and it's the longest one :D) it's just I'm thinking of getting back to writing and since you're of my favorites authors out there now i'd love to get some insight. kudos for being cool about it!

Hello!  Okay first of all thank you so much, that is a ridiculously big compliment and my face hurts.  And yes yes yes you should definitely write if you feel like writing - just go for it!  If you have any specific questions or you want a pep talk or whatever, message any time :) 

Okay I’m gonna put these under a Read More because wall of text.

2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?Right now only Crazy Ex Girlfriend.  I wrote for Criminal Minds under a different name then had a gap of several years.  I’m pretty far removed from CM now but I can safely say writing for CXG has been a nicer experience community wise (partly a smaller fandom thing and I suspect partly a demographic thing), and there’s more established character stuff to work with because all the character development isn’t like…  Crammed in the five minutes they have to work with either side of the crime solving.

3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.I don’t really do either, but reader inserts are kind of a squick of mine honestly, so I’m gonna say OCs.  I’ve only written OC kids though.

4) What is your favourite genre to write for?I am not entirely sure what this means…  Fic genre?  Original media genre?  I have only ever written romance or friendship stuff for TV shows, an odd balance of fluff and angst?

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?Mmm let the sun inside has a special place in my heart because it was the thing that got me back into writing after a really long gap and turned out pretty much how I wanted it to.  Writing it was just a very intense ‘I am writing again and my brain is on fire’ experience for me.

7) When is your preferred time to write?I would love to have a less dysfunctional answer to this, but probably between 1 and 4am unfortunately?  That can’t be a thing on work nights because I get up at 6.30.  If I can get myself on a roll early afternoon in a coffee shop though, that’s a better feeling.  Just… Less common than ‘the rest of the world around me is asleep and my brain just woke up’.

8) Where do you take your inspiration from?Oh everywhere.  The media I write fic about.  The stories I read.  My life, my friends.  The world.

9) In but if you really hold me tight, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?Oh god I really don’t know.  This story is really hard for me to have perspective on because of the ridiculously time pressured way I wrote and published it.  I’m probably proudest of chapter 12, where they discuss the ‘do we want a baby’ question properly, because that just…  Is an important conversation that you don’t really see in media?  I’m not sure it’s the best writing in the story, but I’m glad I didn’t chicken out of it.  I also enjoyed writing Rebecca meeting Plimpton Senior in chapter 19, because that feels like an opportunity the show missed and I will never see enough versions of it in fic honestly.  (Do you have a favourite?)

10) In but if you really hold me tight, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?That one was pretty much always going to end where it did – just because of the format, it was always going to end in a fluffy happy place around midnight on the 1st of January 2021. The last chapter was going to be longer originally, with more characters getting a moment, but it was just getting kind of unfocused – Rebecca POV can handle tone shifts pretty well I think because of the way her brain is wired, but at some point it all just got a bit messy so I pared it back.  I think I’m pleased with how it turned out, but the chaos of writing it is still fresh enough that it’s hard to tell!

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?Nah, but I’ve fixed typos (thank you @what-the-elle-n!)

13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?I find Valencia and Paula pretty difficult.  I love them, but I struggle.

14) How did you come up with the title - You can ask about multiple stories.(Since it says multiple and since I only have 3 currently…)  Everything I’ve published for CXG so far has had song lyric titles – mostly because I am not good at poetic turns of phrase, and I like lyricists who are.  (I’m also not a particularly romantic person, and I like lyricists who are!)

let the sun inside is from Ribcage by elbow.  The full line is ‘I wanted to explode – to pull my ribs apart and let the sun inside’, which feels to me like that feeling of having bottled everything up for so long that you just can’t feel anything anymore until you kind of break down and come out the other side?  And Rebecca = sunshine, so.  That is basically the premise of the story, so that was a stroke of luck.

the landing light is from K2 by elbow (I swear I listen to other music, they just have words that really lend themselves to fanfic titles lol).  I have a whole meta thing written to publish alongside the last chapter about why this song for this story, but basically the line is ‘Dickhead’s done a runner and he’s wondering if anyone cares – is the landing light on?’ which is just someone far from home feeling a bit stupid and homesick and wondering if there’s anybody waiting at home for him.  And of course Nathaniel comes home to a totally miserable situation and there Rebecca is.

but if you really hold me tight…  It had to be a lyric from a Christmas song, preferably one Frank Sinatra sang at some point, because that was the playlist I started listening to in mid-October while outlining this madness.  So it’s from Let It Snow, obviously, although that exact line is not in that version, ssshhhhhh (he sings ‘but if you’ll only hold me tight’).  I chose it because R&N being a team and getting through stuff together in a mostly-fluff-but-not-entirely way was kind of what I was aiming for, and it just felt like it fit.

15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?I kind of have an OC coming up in a story I’m writing now, and I just… Knew who named them, and tried to choose a name those people would choose.  I don’t really do OCs much in fic, but in not-fic (it’s been a while!) I try to go for a name that (1) means something, and importantly (2) I can imagine their parents having named them.

16) How did you come up with the idea for but if you really hold me tight?So a writer I used to read a lot from the Criminal Minds fandom did a Christmas fic a couple of years in a row – one short, mostly fluffy chapter for each day from the 1st-25th of December.  So that was the plan.  Except as soon as I started outlining it, I knew I couldn’t write an entire month fluffy and problem-free for these two (for anyone, but especially these two), so short and fluffy didn’t stick!

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.“I’ve gotten better at a lot of things since you’ve been away, but my self-deception skills have taken a real hit.”

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?Yeah, I abandoned a few Criminal Minds fics.  I still feel bad about them actually – I get comments on them occasionally. (On the offchance anyone reading this is someone who feels nervous about commenting on old stories – these delight me in ways you cannot imagine.)  I ran out of steam in a lot of ways – I started them without any real idea where I was going and wrote myself into a corner, mostly, but also I was starting to really struggle to write unprompted.  I am not the most mentally well person, and I just got my brain into this spirally tangle where I thought nobody wanted to read anything they hadn’t asked for, so I filled a lot of prompts but couldn’t convince myself to write anything else.  It feels really weird to think about that now, which I guess is a good sign…

19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?I toy with following the emotional arc of S4 but following let the sun inside sometimes – that was the plan, when I originally finished it and was panicking that I would never get another idea.  Also, but if you really hold me tight created a world of warm domesticity for R&N that I felt really sad leaving behind, so I would probably like to write in the timeline again.  And the landing light might get a oneshot sequel, depending on whether I end it the way I think I’m going to or the way I was originally planning to…

20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?No, not in this fandom.  I’ve only written two endings though!  I’ve ended on some real cheeseball final lines in the past though.

21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?@heartbash, who can do plot and slow-burn in a way my impatient ass will never be capable of.  @justwanted2dance who deserves a million flame emojis and writes BDSM stuff in a way that makes my anxious brain comfy enough to enjoy it (literally nobody else has achieved this).  @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace who writes the loveliest fluff and is a badass individual.  @notbang and @anthropologicalhands and @catty-words and @akisazame and @romansuzume who write beautifully and can do those poetic turns of phrase I am not good at.  I’ve got to be forgetting someone but wowww there is so much talent and creativity in this lil room.  So many people to be inspired by.

22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?God yes, but not in this fandom.  It’s fine, 19 or 20 year old me, you were learning.

23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?Silence.  Or like white noise or the Hufflepuff Common Room 10 hour ASMR video on youtube or something lol.  Anything with words just ruins me – my attention span is laughable.

25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?Ha yes actually, but I’m really not entirely sure why.  Sometimes my brain is just a really weird place to be.

26) Which part of but if you really hold me tight was the hardest to write?It depends how you measure hardest, I guess.  Several of the smut scenes just said ‘[insert sex]’ for the longest time, sometimes with descriptions?  So like ‘[insert feelingsy sex]’ or whatever lol.  In terms of getting voices right (like to the point of still being unsure whether it’s any good), this gurl group chapter.  

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?It really depends.  Usually I know roughly where I’m going and how I’m getting there and that’s good enough for me, but my NaNo fic got an outline because of the format and timescale. And I’m planning a thing with an actual plot arc (gasp!) so that’s getting an outline, in the hope of making it look vaguely romance novel shaped.  Basically it depends on the length of the thing for me, and how plotty it is.

28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?Writing advice: if you’re struggling to move past a particular point, the thing you need to change is probably a few lines back.  It’s rarely the last line that painted you into the corner. If you think something needs to come out, paste it into an outtakes document – you might want to put it somewhere else later, or salvage lines from it or whatever, and it’s just easier to let go if you’re not actually hitting delete.

Posting advice: remember fandom is community – everyone is here because they love the thing you love.  They’re gonna be excited there’s a new story to read, and they’re rooting for you!  (Write the thing!)

29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?Nahh I mean, it’s a smaallll fandom.

30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?Again, smaaalll.  (Also I try not to publicly eye roll at things other people love even if they are my things – there’s nothing quite like loving a song just for the band to be like ‘ugh I fucking hate that song’, so I always try to keep that in mind.)

31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)You did not send me a rec!  Feel free to send me one now!  In fact, open call, everyone send me fic recs, even if I’ve definitely read them.

32) Are any of your characters based on real people?Mm no I don’t do OCs.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?I mean, I enjoyed hearing that someone read my story in the corner at a party lol, especially because it was a chapter I was pretty pleased with and nervous about.  Also any time anybody says something I wrote is a headcanon or ‘this should have happened in the show’ is a glittery feeling. When somebody notices a little clue or detail that isn’t obvious, it makes me ridiculously happy.  Humans reading my thing then saying something about it is still crazy, so, yeah.

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?Story time: my old fandom has this one character who has a lot of pretty hardcore stans.  I mostly dislike the word stan but like…  Yeah.  So anyway, I got an email saying I had a new comment on my ficlet collection (keeping in mind I was in my ‘very unhealthy relationship with feedback’ stage at this point), and clicked on it all happy, and all it said was ‘I didn’t read this because another comment said it doesn’t contain enough *stanned character* and you really should warn people upfront that he isn’t gonna be in it, I’m glad I didn’t waste my time on it’.  Which was just…  A bizarre comment.  Like, commenting to say you didn’t read the thing is weird in itself, but also you list the characters who are in the thing, not all the ones who aren’t?? Anyway, I then went on my tumblr and I had several anon messages that were just straight up hate along the same lines and…  Yeah.  The Criminal Minds fandom was a strange place. On a related note, have I told you today that I love you, CXG people?  I love you.

35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?I am basically always up with talking stuff through with people.

36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?This is actually difficult to do right now.  There’s a baby?

37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?I mean, I made myself laugh a couple of times in my festive fic, but I’m more of a ‘this one line is funny’ writer than a ‘this story is funny’ writer.  I’m too angsty!

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.This question is faaar too terrifying.  I’ve actually never collabed with anyone, I’d love to though.

39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?Third.  I think because I’ve only written for TV shows, no matter how closely you’re following one character, if you’re seeing them on a screen, you’re in third person.  So it’s just an extra struggle to make that jump to another POV for me.  I have written my not-fanfic mostly in first though, and I’ve read some lovely fic in first and second.  I’m just not good at it.

40) Do people know you write fanfiction?One person.

41) What’s your favourite minor character you’ve written?Hmmmm who is minor, really?  I find AJ difficult but fun.

43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?I don’t write anything plotty enough for this to be a thing!

44) What is the last line you wrote?“Mm, because you know how irresistible your weird old timey voices are.”

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?I want people to read the thing, honestly.  It’s a ‘reach out my lonely haaand’ moment with a little less melodrama.  I want it to be out in the world doing what it’s meant to do.  I also want it to be finished so I can read it – I get a very particular kind of happy feeling from reading a good sentence I wrote.

46) I really loved but if you really hold me tight. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?Lol it felt really weird to type that in there when you didn’t actually say it directly, but you said all so here we are!  I’m just gonna take that compliment even though I wrote it…  When I started coming to the end of writing that story, I started to feel really sad about leaving behind the warm domestic feel of it, so if I ever feel more domestic fluff coming on, probably it’ll be set after that.  

47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?You did not insert a made up title!  Although insert a made up title has potential for Rebecca hounding everyone she knows to help her title a song she wrote.

48) What’s your favourite trope to write?Is ‘let’s have an actual conversation about this’ a trope because that’s my brand so far!  I haven’t written anything particularly tropey, I don’t think, although the pull of ‘omg there was only one bed�� is strong right now!

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?Yes!  It was a Criminal Minds fic, Hotch/Prentiss, canon compliant (ish) missing scenes kind of deal.  I can’t remember the first CXG fic I read, which is ridiculous because it was a lot more recent.  I started writing CXG fic before I started looking for it, because I hadn’t been inspired to write in so long that I didn’t want to scare myself away.  I read some before publishing, but I can’t remember where I started.

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?I can only dream of being mentally stable enough to have a consistent answer to this lol.  Angst comes more naturally to me, but writing angsty characters into happy situations is one of the ways I make sense of the world, so…  Fluff, maybe, as long as I can keep the characters screwed up, because they just…  Are.  And like, same.

#anon #ask meme #aggressively writes fanfiction

[lovemesomesurveys]

What are you craving right this very moment? I want another pizza from my favorite pizza place even though I just had it Saturday and had my leftovers yesterday. It’s just so good.  First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed, like *that*; D, G, J. Have you ever slept for awhile but it felt like you just kinda blinked? Yep. What are you gonna do this weekend? No plans as of now, which is fine. I had a busy last couple of weekends, which were fun, but I can’t do a whole lot anymore like I used to. I started feeling sick yesterday, blah. What would you like to do this weekend? Nothing.

Is there anyone that you really wish you could get through to? Myself? What did you do last Friday night? I didn’t do anything this past Friday. Do you know anyone who was born on a holiday? Not currently. Do you like going to school sports games? I went to a couple in high school, which is more than I thought I would ha. I had no interest in going, but I was persuaded and we ended up having fun. Favorite football team! None. I don’t like sports. Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? I’m single, but no I didn’t in the past. Have you ever stolen your sibling’s clothes? No. Did you get into your mom’s makeup when you were a kid? I don’t recall doing that, but maybe. Who’s locker were you last at besides your own? I didn’t even have a locker in high school. Have you ever loved someone and HATED it? No... What color’s your hair? Naturally it’s dark brown, but I dye it red. Although, it’s been so long since the last time I dyed it that it’s like half my natural hair color and half red. It’s awful. Eyes? Brown. Are you gonna try to tell me that they magically change colors?? Nope. My eyes are boring. Do you like Starbucks or would you rather just have water or something? I like Starbucks and coffee in general.  Who last texted you? My brother. What’s your relationship with them? ^^^ Have you ever walked into a door before? Yes. Do you know anyone who’s like, psycho-religious? Psycho-religious? Have you ever had chocolate mousse cake? Probably at some point. Chocolate cake and chocolate frosting isn’t my favorite, so I wouldn’t opt for it. Have you ever done something stupid and hurt yourself? Yep. Have you ever been stuck on a ski lift? No. That sounds scary. Do you know anyone named Dakota? No. What about Chris? Yeah. What’s your name mean? “To be crowned” or something like that. If you could take back saying anything to anyone, what would it be? Hmm. Has the school ever taken away your cell-phone? I never had that happen. I didn’t go on my phone during class or anything and I kept it on silent.  What about actually LOOKING through it?? Again, no. What do you own that’s bright blue? Hmm. Do you know who Nancy Sinatra is? Yeah. Have you ever bought anything from an airport? Food. Do you want anything pierced? Nope. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be of? I’ve wanted “free bird” for several years. Have you ever kissed someone with a tattoo? No. Do you speak fluently in any other language but English or Spanish? Nope. Have you ever been in band? I was in choir for a few years and I did violin one year. If you’ve ever had a female gym teacher, was she kinda like a guy? No. Why is that a common stereotype in movies/TV shows?  If you could visit anyone who’s moved away, who would it be? No one I know has moved away. Well, recently anyway. I have family that live in another city and other states, but they’ve been there for several years. If you could repaint your bedroom, what colour would you paint it? A pastel color, not sure which at the moment. Or perhaps dusty rose. Who last gave you anything? My parents took my brother and I out to lunch yesterday. Do you drink Polar-Pops? What are those? Who do you absolutely adore? My doggo. If I asked you who you were gonna marry a year ago, you would say; No one. Do you snore, talk, sleepwalk, or drool? A little drool sometimes. lol. When you woke up this morning, what was your first thought? I woke up feeling very anxious. What do you think about to get to sleep? My mind thinks about everything and anything before I drift off. The last time you were at the mall, what all did you get? Clothes. Where’d you get it? Hot Topic. Are you usually hot or cold? Hot.  Have you ever walked through a cornfield maze? Yes. Have you ever had a crush on a kinda-country boy? Yeah. Do you care about any of your exs, at all? I have no ill will towards any of them. I wish them all well.  Who last slapped your butt? Joseph years ago. Who did you last hit? I playfully hit my brother when we’re just playing around. Have you ever watched 24? Nope. What about Grey’s Anatomy? Nope. Is anyone mad at you & you don’t know why? No. I completely know why some people are probably mad at me and they have every right to be. Do you like ska? No. What about skramz? What? Indie? Yeah, some. How big is your bed? Full size. When did you last sleep in past noon? It’s been quite awhile.. If you could start completely over knowing what you do now, would you? Could I make changes cause then yes absolutely. The last person you kissed, could you tell me what color their eyes are? Brown. What do you do when you can’t sleep? Every night I listen to ASMR, scroll through Tumblr, do some surveys, and watch TV until I fall asleep. What was your last nightmare about? Let’s not think about that.  Do you think the world’s gonna end in 2012? We’re still here 7 years later.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

[completeandrandomshit]

Linda Ronstadt on the Togetherness of Making Music With Someone Else: 'It's as Intimate as Sex'

  AUGUST 23, 2019 – 5:00 AM  – 0 COMMENTS

24

By

WALTER SCOTT

(Jim Smeal/Shutterstock)

Ten-time Grammy award winner and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee Linda Ronstadt, 73, is the subject of the new documentary Linda Ronstadt: The Sound of My Voice (in theaters September 6). The movie features her own recollections, archival footage and interviews with Emmylou Harris, Don Henley, J.D. Souther, Dolly Parton and others.

Related: Trisha Yearwood Says Linda Ronstadt Was One of Her Biggest Influences

Was music always your destiny?

I remember sitting in first grade having a hard time with arithmetic, thinking, I won’t have to do arithmetic when I’m big; I’ll be a singer. I didn’t think about it in terms of being a star; I just thought about it as singing and getting paid to do it.

Growing up in an isolated area, on an Arizona ranch, was music a big part of your childhood?

I think music would have been a big part of my childhood no matter, because my family is musical. It was just a part of what we did washing dishes, riding in the car or sitting at the dining room table. My father would start singing and we’d all jump in with harmony.

You were diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2012, which has affected your vocal cords. Do you miss it?

When people ask me if I miss singing—I don’t miss performing. When anybody comes over, one of my nephews or somebody from my family, we [still] sit down and put our heads together and sing. That’s fun.

From watching this film, you appear to be modest about your talent. How did the producers convince you to make this documentary about your life?

Nobody wants to be scrutinized, least of all me. But there were several offers out there and there were people that were just going to go ahead and do it anyway. [Directors] Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman­­­ sent me an email and it was so nicely written that I wrote back and said no. Usually, I just ignore it. They wrote back and said it was the nicest rejection letter they’d ever had.

Then I was watching PBS and the Harvey Milk documentary came on that I had already seen [The Times of Harvey Milk, directed by Epstein], but I watched it again, and it was so well done, and their offer had been that the documentary would be based on my book, so I figured I already had vetted the material. And they stayed true to their word. I didn’t have that much to do with it, but they wanted some current footage, so I said, “We’re going to Mexico, you have to come with us.”

It’s the little town where my grandfather was born. It’s a beautiful little town in Mexico. I went down there with 20 schoolkids and we shot footage for two different documentaries.

At the beginning of the movie, it says that you feel that there are singers that are better than you.

There are plenty of singers that are better than I am.

Why then were you such a success as opposed to other people?

The other people that were better singers were successful—Bonnie Raittand Joni Mitchell—there’s legions of them. They were very successful, and I trail in their wake, but I was more than happy to because it was inspiring to me. It took a long time to learn how to sing. It took me a good 10 years to figure out how to push phrases around. I used to get depressed and think I couldn’t sing very well, and then I’d think, Well, tonight’s the night to make it better.

You obviously did something right along the way because in this documentary there are people like Emmylou Harris, Dolly Parton, Don Henley—and the list goes on—who are all a part of this and so supportive of you. Talk about your relationships with your fellow musicians. It sounds as if you weren’t competitive, but collaborative.

Music is inherently collaborative and cooperative, and not competitive. It’s a conspiracy. José Abreu, this guy in Venezuela that started the youth orchestra that is high quality, said, “Music is a conspiracy; it’s a conspiracy to commit beauty.” The word conspiracy comes from the Greek word conspiro, which means to breathe together.

So, when you’re singing with somebody, you’re breathing with them, so you form a conspiracy. There’s a great intimacy that happens with somebody that you have successfully sung with, the music works. It’s as intimate as sex, but it’s not sex. With both men and women, there’s a closeness that you shared, a sentiment or a sorrow or a joy, and you express it in a similar enough way so that the two sounds match up and form a new thing.

When you started, there were very few women in rock and roll. Did you ever consider that you had a harder path to follow?

Nah, I just followed the music. Sure, was there sexism in the music business? You bet. But I had pretty nice people in the band, and all they cared about was whether the music was grooving or not. We had played enough to worry about that. You showed up and kept trying to make music better, that was what mattered.

Related: Why It Matters That Carrie Underwood, Dolly Parton and Reba McEntire Are Hosting the CMAs This Year

At one point, you walked away from the big arenas and you wanted to explore other aspects of music, like Pirates of Penzance. Do you see yourself as being brave or it was just something you had to do?

I was just not affected by that. I just was sick of playing sporting arenas. They were unsuitable for music, and it wasn’t very gratifying. In those great big arenas, there’s no nuance, subtlety doesn’t carry. It’s expected to be big and loud. It was hard being loud. I felt like I had a really tiny-sounding voice because the band was so loud.

But a lot of people couldn’t have walked away from the money that arena concerts earn.

I didn’t even think of the money. Duh! Forty thousand people in an arena compared to 1,500 in a small theater?

Congratulations. You’re going to be in the next group of Kennedy Center Honors recipients.

With Big Bird! I’m excited. I hope he comes. [In addition to Ronstadt, the 2019 Kennedy Center honorees—which will be inducted in a ceremony December 8 in Washington, D.C.—also include the PBS series Sesame Street, actress Sally Field, conductor Michael Tilson Thomas and the band Earth, Wind & Fire.]

What does something like that mean to you?

It means that, basically, it’s all over [laughs]. It’s very nice to be recognized. When I look back on my career, I don’t play my records for fun. I sometimes play something to check on it or to get some reference, but I don’t sit around and play my records, because they make me crazy. I hear every bad note.  If I hear something particularly awful, I think I never could sing anything, that everything was that awful. It will wreck my week. So, what I’ll do is I just won’t listen to it ever again. I’ll just go with their assessment and let the Kennedy Center assess that overall the work was sufficient. But it’s really the work that matters, not the prizes, although I’m very happy to be acknowledged.

At this point in your life, is there something that you don’t have that you want?

A pony. A goat. A couple of sheep. I love those things. I don’t live in the country anymore, so I can’t have them. A pony, a goat and a sheep and some chickens. I had that when I lived in Tucson, right in the middle of the city. I had an urban farm. It was fun. It was too hot there for goats and chickens and people. I’d spend the whole summertime cooling them off.

Who do you listen to? Any young upcoming singers that you enjoy?

I love First Aid Kit. They’re really good. They’re these two Swedish girls that are sisters, and they write and sing. They’re real good musicians and they have a really good band. They’re wonderful. They’re international stars too. I like Sia for my mainstream. She’s an interesting singer.

Do you still listen to the Frank Sinatra album every night, which was mentioned in the film?

No, I never listened to it every night, but there was a period when I studied it pretty hard. Now it’s in my brain and I can play it whenever I want.

Your career spanned rock, pop, country, Latin and opera. What do you see as your legacy?

Rampant eclecticism. Not a great career choice, but I somehow got away with a lot of it.

Any regrets? If you could have a do over, is there something that you would change?

I think I could have lived my life with more grace: grace of movement, grace of speech, grace of communicating with people, grace in living.

THANKS TO WALTER SCOTT AND PARADE.COM FOR THE ARTICLE.

#linda ronstadt #walter scott #parade magazine #parade.com #real music #classic rock

[cracktheglasses]

Tagged by @unicornsandbutane. I have, yes, you’ve guessed it, the five dollar-est wine, so, 10 songs I’m currently obsessed with. 

I’m always kind of mehhh about doing music memes, because my music tastes are sort of outdated and I tend to do this thing where I listen to one artist or even one song over and over for weeks at a time and then listen to nothing for weeks at a time, except for my standard busy-work playlists, which are mostly instrumental. 

I do have YouTube playlists for accounting-heavy days at work, when I’m staring at spreadsheets and billing statements all day, and do I have a couple of YouTube workout mixes, but I don’t have iTunes or a Spotify account or anything like that, so we’re gonna go with YouTube here, too. 

FYI, my most-used “I’m doing lots of billing reconciliation” playlist is titled Beethoven’s I Want To Break Free, because I’m hilarious like that.

I also have to note that @unicornsandbutane mentioned 4 songs that I would have included, and I really don’t want to repeat. House of the Rising Sun by the Animals is just. Such a fucking song, you are absolutely right. 

 Gimme!Gimme!Gimme!(A Man After Midnight) by ABBA is gonna start us off, because, first of all, it’s fuckin’ ABBA, and this song makes me feel aggressively bisexual   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It was one of the songs people put the Kylo and Rey vs Praetorian Guards throne room scene to, and it’s on the dean’s playlist in one of my favorite Community episodes, and, anyway, it’s fuckin’ ABBA. 

The Crawl by Placebo, because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and reminiscing lately, which I really ought to stop, but in the meantime, have it anyway. 

Conquest of Spaces by Woodkid. IDK, Woodkid kind of hits the same parts of my brain that Muse does/did, and to some degree Florence and the Machine. I really do enjoy grand electro-operatic fantasy in modern song form. 

Kiss Off by Violent Femmes. This is one of my headcanon Kylo songs (does anyone else have these ridiculously extensive character playlists, or is it just me?).

The Fire by Bishop Briggs. I love her voice. This is my current “listen to obsessively for weeks” ever since @kyloream introduced me to it. 

Suzanne by Leonard Cohen. I love it a lot, though it’s not my most favorite of his. 

I See A Darkness covered by Johnny Cash (original by Bonnie Prince Billy), because it’s relatable as fuck. Seriously, mood, or it me, or whatever. 

I’ve been listening to a ton of Pink Floyd lately, see “thinking and reminiscing” above. I always sort of forget that On The Turning Away is a Floyd song, and it’s a pleasant surprise/remembering every time I hear it. 

Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down), linking to the Nancy Sinatra version here, though there are so, so many other good covers.

Y’all, I’m sorry, but we’re gonna go for actual opera to finish this out, because I’ve been listening to bass-baritones a lot, and because come on, opera demons can get it. 

Linking to four versions of Son lo Spirito Che nega from Arrigo Boito’s Mefistofele, though imho Bryn Terfel is not at his best here, though I love him in Die Walkure. As a Russian, I feel like I do appreciate Chaliapin a lot, and he fucking laugh-sings some lines, which is just badass, but the recording is from the 1920s. Ildar Abdrazakov definitely, definitely makes me feel aggressively bisexual, and I cannot decide if I like him or Samuel Ramey best. Here’s the Samuel Ramey take.

Tagging, uh, let’s see, if you want to do it, please do it, but no pressure!  @kuresoto, @boredbyreality, @reserve, @beeeeebeeee, @gentleman-caller, @heyktula, @saltandrockets, @helliskylux , @agent-nemesis, @mazarinedrake, and I’m gonna tag @kyloream because I selfishly want more music recs but please don’t feel compelled! 

#memes #asks #music #unicornsandbutane #cor's stuff

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #2: Sleep Sinatra

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

Peace. I’m Sleep Sinatra. DREAMSCAPE Media Group Founder. Father. Real Negus. I just recently dropped Sleep Gloriously produced by the homie Ed Glorious. 

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I write nowadays whenever the feeling hits me. There is no set time nor routine. It’s all about feeling now that I've gained mastery of the words. I used to spend whole summers locked away in a smoked out room writing and writing until I got “it” right. “It,” as in my cadence, delivery, my style. I had more routine when I was establishing who I was as an MC. Now that I know, it's all about the feeling. I’m still learning and getting better though, too.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

When I first started, strictly pen and pad. Now that I’m a father I use both. Pen and pad when I’m holed up deep in a session, notepad on the phone when I’m on the move. It just depends on the situation.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

I do write in bars. Not really sure how I learned to do that, it just sort of came to me. I think structure helps you be as sharp as possible with the wordplay. 

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

To be honest, it never even gets typed or written out if I don’t think it's dope to some extent. I'm much more careful with my thoughts nowadays and because of that I’m extremely mindful of what I put out artistically.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

No. Rap has always been my first creative outlet. I experimented with poetry only after having been an MC for many years. Did a couple poetry open mics. Rhymes is it for me, though. 

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

Usually it's really organic and sporadic. I am my own worst critic so like I said if it’s being materialized tangibly it’s because I took a great deal of thought into deciding it would. More of a quick burst, knockin’ 3-4 joints out at a time that I’ve already had ready as opposed to laboring over verses in the lab. I write a lot when I'm actually out in the world, so that helps I suppose. 

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

Both. Again it's just all organic, however it comes together. 

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

I've been called a “stream of consciousness” MC before but it's not always that. Sometimes I'll find inspiration in a film I watched, something one of my kids did. Situations myself and my family have gone through. Rap is the easiest way for me to express my thoughts and feelings. No constraint of rhymes when you can say what you want to the best of your ability in this format. 

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I definitely have been more experimental as I get older. I like the double time patterns that younger cats are doing and you’ll hear more of that from me eventually. I have an appreciation for the art of rap so I'm always studying different schemes and techniques. 

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

The entirety of “Blood In My Eye.” I said everything I wanted to perfectly in that song. In my own opinion, of course. 

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

Haha. No way I can pick my own favorite bars. I’d prefer to hear what my supporters think are my best. 

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I've never punched in on any record. I don't feel strongly against it I just pride myself on my breath control. 

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

The Whispers, James Baldwin. Lynyrd Skynyrd. My kids. My brothers. There’s so many things outside of hip hop that influence me man. The current state of the country. I could go on and on… 

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

Yea I’m definitely my own worst critic. I think as an artist that is of utmost importance to get the good stuff out there. The cream always rises to the top, nahmean?

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

I don't try to imitate anybody. 

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I want people to hear and sense the spirit and energy that I put into my songs. These songs are a piece of my soul to an extent. So I’m giving the world little pieces of me with each project.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

[thepermanentrainpress]

THE PERMANENT RAIN PRESS INTERVIEW WITH ESABELLA STRICKLAND

Esabella Strickland is a young achiever. Aside from being a Vancouver-based actress, the artist is an author, scriptwriter, media host, and learning disabilities advocate. Her new novel Then And There, Here And Where (GenZ Publishing) was released earlier this month, the debut of a saga “filled with mystery, magic and knowledge.” 

Congratulations on the release of Then And There, Here And Where! You collaborated on this novel with your father Michael. Tell us about the inspiration behind Orabella, her gift, and adventures.

Well growing up my parents would read to me because I had a hard time reading because of my dyslexia and ADHD. However, when they read to me, I could see the images clearly in my head like a movie. My mom would read Nancy Drew to me, and my dad would tell me scary stories when we went camping together. When I changed schools (a private school for dyslexia, ADHD) my confidence grew because I was socially alienated and bullied at my old school for learning differently. So, I came up with this idea with my dad to create Orabella who also has ADHD, dyslexia and social anxiety but learns to overcome her fears and become a heroine. I also wanted readers to learn about history so there is fiction/non-fiction edu-entertainment so you’re learning while having fun.

What do you hope readers take away from this story?

I want to inspire girls, especially girls who are bullied or socially alienated because they feel different, to find their super power within, ask for help and follow your passion even if it’s music, art, dance, acting... keep doing it no matter how many setbacks you have... follow your dreams! 

Can we assume that Orabella’s story will continue with future novels?

Yes, we are halfway through our second novel, our plan is to write as many books as possible. With each book Orabella is a year older so she grows with you, like a friend. There is mystery, magic and personal growth.

Outside of being an author, you are also a screenwriter. You’re currently the GenZ Script Consultant for Graisland Entertainment. How has this experience been?

It has been really cool, I first reached out to Michael Grais on LinkedIn asking if he wanted to collaborate on a horror movie together, which caught him by surprise considering I am only 15. He sent 2 scripts he finished and asked me what I thought, so I read through each of them and gave him my honest feedback, it was then he gave me the green light to write Death Noise - an Urban Legend Horror. I have gone through so many edits and re-writes but I was prepared because I went through the same thing with our book. Mr. Grais is really cool, he is honest and supportive. I am working on a second urban legend horror for him so we will see. I love storytelling from writing, drawing, painting, and playing music.

You have been growing your skills as a media host, having hosted for EveRIAthing, and at Geektopia and the Variety Show of Hearts Telethon. What has been the most rewarding event for you to be apart of, so far?

Oh by far the Variety Telethon because it is helping kids like me, to improve their lives. Variety BC helped me with tuition so I can stay at my present school, which is for kids with learning challenges. I love sharing their stories. I have gotten a lot of hosting mentoring and training from EveRIAthing, which carried over to me hosting the Variety Telethon for the 3rd year in a row. I love hosting because I love hearing and sharing stories. I also hosted Geektopia to raise money for the Amanda Todd Foundation. I also helped host Meowfest to raise money for the Langley Animal Hospital and the regional Animal Protection Society.

What advice would you share with aspiring hosts and media personalities?

Oh find a mentor or teacher to train you and find a cause that you believe in and approach them to see if you could help promote them. I started by having a YouTube channel and my first interview was with George Takei, which was really cool. So don’t be afraid to try new things.

You are a learning disabilities advocate, as you live with anxiety, ADHD and dyslexia. You are a true figure of empowerment! Why is it important to you to ‘lift as you rise’ and build this awareness?

Yes because I was bullied and socially alienated when I was younger, I do not want anybody to feel this way, so as I succeed I want others to succeed with me. It’s so easy to feel alone and sad no matter what age you are so its important to know that somebody is there for you. So, if you have a goal or a dream then I want to be here to support you with that. Also never be afraid to ask, and if the answer is no, then keep asking until you get a yes. We were turned down by so many literary agents because our book was not the right fit or the right timing, but we did not give up and we kept asking until we found GenZ Publishing.

Tell us about how attending Kenneth Gordon Maplewood has helped you? What other resources have you used over the years?

OMG in so many ways, they teach you based on your learning style; also there are small class sizes with more teachers so you can get the support you need. Also being around kids like me helps as we all have been bullied at previous schools, so we understand each other. I also see a counsellor who helps with my anxiety and gives me tools to work on like meditation, tapping and self care time (without feeling guilty about it).

You’re quite active on social media! You’ve received support from a lot of other filmmakers, media personalities, and artists, specifically Bif Naked. What has that support and encouragement meant to you?

This is a huge encouragement because they are doing what I am doing – lifting as you rise. It is also important to find mentors to help build you up too. Those are the ones who struggled to get to the top and know how hard it is; so like Bif Naked, she reaches down and helps you up.

Do you have any upcoming projects you’d like to share?

I am booked for a role on a feature film, which I can’t talk about as of yet, and also Michael Grais and I are close to getting financing on our feature film urban legend horror Death Noise. It is so scary and cool, it’s set in the late 70’s [and is] like Close Encounters of the Third Kind meets Stranger Things.

You love cats! You have Meeko and Daisy Mae at home; tell us about your love for them.

Oh Meeko just passed away he was 16 years old, and he was my best friend, it was really hard letting him go. When you said ‘I love you’ to him, he would wink at you or he would coo like a bird when he knew I was anxious. Meeko would also put his paw on my lap if I was sad or snuggle next to me. Daisy Mae is my 2-year-old Holland Lop. I love her but I also want another cat soon.

Who are a couple of musical artists you are listening to on your playlist?

Hmm I am more into songs than artists so I like Frank Sinatra, 70’s classic rock, AJR, Of Monsters and Men, and SALES.

If you could be any ice cream flavour, which would you be and why?

Oh Neapolitan ice cream because I like a blend of flavours - 3 of my favourite flavours together, oooh and also lime/lemon sorbet!

Follow Esabella’s upcoming projects at https://www.esabellakarena.com/ and Orabella’s adventures at https://www.orabellatheoracle.com/.

#Esabella Strickland #Interview #feature #author #entertainment #Orabella The Oracle #Then And There Here And Where #Vancouver #yvr #Kenneth Gordon Maplewood #GenZ Publishing #Esabella Anna Karena Strickland #NoodleHead Productions #GenZ

[tinuviel-undomiel]

Because of H.P. Lovecraft Part 1

For @thedooblydont. I hope you enjoy your present. Sorry if I’ve been absent this week, but I’m currently at Disney World. I did have fun writing your gift. I hope it is just as much fun for you reading it.

My apologies if I butchered Lovecraft. I’ve never read him before. Also, I’m sorry this is In two parts. I’m on mobile and it said it was too long as one story.

Prompt: Cat, potatoes, Cthulhu, candlelight, elves.

​It wasn’t a surprise when the engagement announcement for Mr. Alexander Gold and Miss Isabelle French appeared in the newspapers. Indeed, the two had been inseparable for over a year now, and much to disgruntlement of some, were not shy in expressing their affection for one another in public. When they had first become an item, the gossips raged over the peculiarity. Miss French was a sweet girl, ran the public library, and helped with all of the town’s various festivities. Meanwhile, Mr. Gold was a temperamental landlord who regularly threatened eviction or rent increases whenever excuses were given instead of money. He was a good father, but that was about the only kind word bestowed upon him. However, now no one bat an eye when they caught them strolling hand in hand down Main Street, or having a kiss under the mistletoe at the mayor’s Christmas Party (though they were later caught stepping out of the closet looking more than a bit disheveled).

​At first, the notice was hardly unusual. It started off with the typical, “Mr. Alexander R. Gold and Miss Isabelle Jane French are proud to announce their engagement. The happy couple are anticipating a December wedding, invitations and details to follow. The bride and the groom would like to add that their joy would not be complete without the addition of the groom’s son, Bailey Gold.”

None of that was peculiar, albeit lacking in some rather ordinary details. It was the final sentence that truly captured the eye. “A special thanks are owed to H.P. Lovecraft, for which none of this would be possible.”

​Some of the younger generation had no idea who Lovecraft was, but the elders were happy to explain. This led to everyone wondering just how a long dead author could be responsible for the upcoming nuptials of the most peculiar couple in Storybrooke, Maine.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

​It was stereotypical for people to assume that a library needed to be absolutely silent. They imagined a stern, old woman with grey hair pulled tightly in a bun, bifocal lenses perched on the nose, pilling old cardigans and droopy wool tights. Belle had only worn such a getup once, on Halloween two years ago for a laugh. No, Belle was not what the town of Storybrooke had imagined for a librarian. She preferred sundresses and skirts that flattered her figure, loose, curling brown hair around her shoulders, and high heels to give her that extra few inches genetics had not been kind enough to bestow upon her. She also loved listening to music as she shelved books. Currently, she had Frank Sinatra playing from the speakers, though she was considering switching over to Adele later.

​She was singing along to “Luck Be a Lady” when she someone clear their throat from behind her. “Just a moment,” she said, stretching up to put away one last book. The stepladder she was on wobbled just a bit, but she managed to hold her footing. She trotted back down to solid ground, turning to see who was there, but she already had a sneaking suspicion. “Ah, Mr. Gold, how lovely to see you again.”

​When Belle had first arrived in Storybrooke she was warned by four people, not including her father, that Mr. Gold was a ruthless man not to be trusted. However, she had learned from Jane Austen that first impressions are not always truthful and reserved her judgment for herself. Oh he could be intimidating, that was certain, but when he came in to return a copy of H.P. Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulu and Other Stories, she had known he couldn’t possibly be as terrible as the said. A fellow fan of Lovecraft couldn’t possibly be a monster.

​He gave her a warm smile and held out a book for her. “I came to return this.”

​“Ah, and how did you like The Mask of Cthulu?”

​“It was interesting. Have you anymore you can recommend?”

​“For a fellow Lovecraft fan? Of course,” Belle said with a wink. She took his hand, trying to pretend she didn’t feel the jolt of electricity at the warmth of his touch, and led him to her rather dismal science fiction section. She thumbed through the shelves of slightly battered paperbacks until she found the one she was looking for. “Here it is. The Great God Pan.”

​She handed it over to Gold, smiling at the way his brow crinkled as he studied the book. “It was written before Lovecraft, but it will have a similar feeling to it. I think you’ll like it.”

​“I’m sure I will,” he said. They looked at each other for a moment, the air thick with what needed to be said but lacking the courage to say it.

​Gold turned first, heading towards her desk. Belle followed him, twisting her fingers into a knot. How many books would she have to give him? She was running out of titles she readily had at hand. Truth be told The Great God Pan was her personal copy, one she’d added to the library’s inventory just for him. It was time to be brave or else start buying more books just so she can have the delight of his company for a few moments.

​“You know, I would love to talk to you some time about books,” Belle said. Damn! That sounded so pathetic. “I mean, we like so many of the same ones. I thought it might be fun to…well…talk about what we like and dislike about them?”

​Gold blinked at her, then he smiled just a bit. “Yes, that would be…fun. How about you come over to my place for dinner some time?”

​Holy shit, it had worked! Belle was so stunned that her plan had come to fruition that she didn’t realize that she was staring at him like a dork with her mouth wide open. She closed it, praying that her face wasn’t as red as a tomato now. “I would like that, yes, I would like that very much.”

​“Excellent,” he said. She envied that he could be so smooth. “How about Friday night? Is seven good?”

​Belle nodded eagerly. That gave her two days to relax, maybe get her hair done, and raid her closet to decide what to wear. “Will Bae be joining us?”

​“He’s going to his mother’s for the weekend.”

​She tried to bite back her smile. “So you’ll be alone this weekend.”

​“Indeed,” he said, “I’ll welcome the company.”

​“Then I’ll see you on Friday.”

​“It’s a date,” he told her. Belle glowed at those three words. She finally was going on a date with Alexander Gold.

​When Friday rolled around, Belle had lost the glow of finally going out with Mr. Gold. Now her stomach had tied into knots and she was certain she would never find anything to wear. Belle closed up the library a bit early (no one noticed anyways) and went up to her apartment. Her cat, Benny, was lounging in the sun. He perked up when she walked in, hoping for a good scratch behind the ears and maybe a few treats. Belle obliged with the former, but was too rattled to give him the latter. She raced for her closet, throwing open the doors, and scanning everything inside. She had a line of dresses, skirts, blouses, jeans and t-shirts. She figured the jeans and the shirts would be too casual. Come to think of it, she’d never even seen Mr. Gold in anything other than a suit and tie.

​Belle looked through her skirts, pulling out a red one that fell a few inches above the knee. Too short. The brown one was too long. The blue one too shiny. She tried her dresses. Too dressy, too boring, too busy, too sparkly. After an hour her entire closet was crumbled on the floor. Benny thought it was a wonderful change and started wallowing in all of the cloths, batting at the fringe on a skirt.

​She stood there in her underwear, watching her cat enjoy the mess she had made. “What the hell am I doing?” She was putting too much pressure on herself. Yes, this was a date, but it wasn’t a serious one. For all she knew, Mr. Gold just wanted a friend to chat about books with. Yes, she needed to look good, but she needed to look like she wasn’t trying to look good. And she really needed to clean up her closet before Benny decided to make it a new litter box.

​Belle picked up all of her fallen clothes, much to Benny’s chagrin. After fixing herself a cup of tea to settle herself, she decided on a grey pencil skirt with a ruffle on the side for a little flare, and a pink blouse that added some pop. She daringly left an extra button undone. Belle fed Benny before leaving. It was now or never.

​She walked to Mr. Gold’s house, turning a few heads, which was a good sign. Still, her heart was pounding against her ribs so hard she was certain she could see it through the silk of her blouse. She knew where his house was, the salmon pink Victorian on Mulberry Street. Ruby had told her that when Gold had bought the place, it was apparently considered an historical landmark. The mayor had refused to let Gold paint it a plainer color. Still, he’d endured Mayor Mills’ smirk at her petty victory and shouldered on. Belle admired the lawn as she walked up. Rose bushes were planted all around, deep reds, pinks and whites. Her father, the florist, would envy such perfect blooms.

​She rang the doorbell, taking a deep breath in to quiet her pulse. Mr. Gold opened the door a moment later, smiling pleasantly at her. Belle was a bit surprised by what she saw. He had forgone the jacket, wearing just a plain blue shirt and grey slacks. The sleeves were rolled up just a bit. It was the most casual she’d ever seen him and damn did he look good.

​“Belle, you’re right on time,” he said, “I’m sorry, but I’m almost done with dinner. Do come in.”

​“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked as she followed him into the foyer.

​“Not at all, but thank you,” he said, “I’ve set the table and it’s just a matter of getting everything plated and out of the kitchen.

​“It smells wonderful,” Belle said. She got the hint of rosemary and roasted meat.

​“Just a pot roast,” he said, “With some potatoes and carrots. I have some tarts from Tiana’s bakery for dessert.”

​Belle gasped in delight. “Her raspberry tarts are my favorite.”

​His lips twitched slightly. “Really? Well, I’m glad. That is precisely what I got.”

​Well if somehow this night went horrible wrong, the tarts would probably make up for it. So far though, she had no complaints. Dinner was set out swiftly on the dining room table. Belle admired the china: white with and oriental blue pattern and a gold rim. He also had a bottle of rich red wine and crystal glasses for them to use. The food looked delicious. A thick, dark gravy surrounded the roast, perfectly roasted potatoes with garlic and rosemary, and carrots glazed with sugar and cinnamon. The lights were dimmed slightly, the lit tapers giving the room a rosy glow.

​Mr. Gold filled their glasses and took the seat across from her. The candlelight, the soft music of Mozart coming from the antique record player, they all screamed “date” to her. Perhaps this wasn’t meant to be just a friendly chat after all. Belle took some pleasure in that. This had to mean Gold was interested in her than more than her love of Lovecraft.

​“So have you started The Great God Pan yet?” Belle asked him.

​“Only just,” he said after sipping his wine, “I’m afraid I haven’t had as much time as I like to read this week.”

​She nodded. “You must have enjoyed The Mountains of Madness. You read that collection very quickly.”

​“Yes,” he said, clearing his throat a bit, “Yes I did enjoy that one quite a bit. Lovecraft was truly ahead of his time.”

​“I enjoy the Elders in the story,” Belle said, “His mythos is just so fascinating. Stephen King comes close, but Lovecraft is still the master of building such a powerful universe.”

​“Indeed, he is the master.”

​“Oh!” she exclaimed, dropping her fork. “I wanted to show you something.” She quickly lifted her purse from under the table, dug around in it a bit before she pulled out a book. “I found this a while back. It’s The Call of Cthulhu illustrated. It’s really quite fascinating.”

​Gold glanced at the cover, a sea of faces and the image of a horrifying monster with razor sharp teeth. “Later, I was hoping we could just talk and have dinner a bit before we got to Story Hour.”

​Belle’s cheeks pinked a bit in embarrassment, but there was also a bubble of joy blooming in her belly. So he hadn’t wanted this to be just about Lovecraft. She smiled and set the book aside to the empty place next to her. “All right. You know, I’ve always wondered, what part of Scotland are you from?”

​His brown eyes glittered at her. “Glascow,” he said, “but I left when I was a boy. And where from Australia do you come from?”

​“Brisbane,” Belle told him, “We left when I was eleven.”

​“Ah, so both of us were young immigrants.”

​They shared stories about their homelands. Gold had far more fascinating adventures than her rather unremarkable childhood. He even told her that he and his father had come to America by boat, each working to pay their way across and earn their green cards. He spoke of growing up in New York and later working to pay for college and law school. He was even candid about his divorce, but she’d heard the rumors that the former Mrs. Gold had left him for a sailor already. Apparently, Milah and her boyfriend had semi-settled in Boston for the time being. Mr. Gold had largely raised Bae after she’d left them when the boy was three, only seeing him sporadically.

​“That must have been hard,” she said with sympathy.

​“Yes, but I like to think he’s worth it,” Gold said with a grin, “Granted, I doubt that when he is blasting his music loud enough for the space station to hear it.”

​Belle laughed. “He’s a teenager. I remember being just as loud and obnoxious during those years.”

​“Oh I doubt that. I’m sure you were the stunningly beautiful and perfect creature you are now.”

​She blushed at his compliment, praying she didn’t knock over her wine glass now or drop gravy on her shirt and ruin his idea of her. She needn’t have worried about ruining the moment because just then the door burst open. “Dad?” she heard a boy call out, “Dad?”

#rumbelle secret santa #thedooblydont #rumbelle #rumbelle fic

[brightlycoloredteacups]

Bad Day

Pair: Tony X OFC

Series: Run Into You

Summery: When Tony has a drunken run in with Martina, he thinks the next day is the end of it. But he keeps on running into her. 

Tags: @ivartheboneme @salimahbicharara-comun

Martina Rogers was having a bad day. This was the third coffee shop she had been to that just didn’t seem to be hiring. She went through a list of things it could be, her clothes, her hair, the fact that she wasn’t wearing any make up? She shook her head, there wasn’t anything she could do about any of those things.

A familiar feeling of panic wells within her. She quickly tamps it down. This is now, not then, she doesn’t have to panic. Despite her financial issues, she’d make it. Mrs. Burbank will let her work around the house for her keep, and she could always rely on her neighbors for odd jobs. She wasn’t going to go without a roof over her head. She’d finally found good people.

But what if they weren’t? The little voice in her head whispers. What if they’re just agents sent to watch you. She frowns, that can’t be right, all her neighbors are elderly people, at least people that can’t really do any damage to her. But what if? The voice says. What if? The panic is back, she finds herself walking a little faster, almost running, anxious get away from her thoughts. She’s waylaid by someone literally crashing into her. She falls over, the other person coming down with her.

“You can’t throw me out!” The man yells. “I’m Iron Man.”

“Yeah right buddy!” Someone yells back. Tina huffs and gets up, dusting herself off. “Excuse me, sir, are you alright?” She asks, walking over to him. The man blinks at her, blue eyes glassy with booze. “‘course ‘m a’right. I’m Iron Man.” He slurs, puffing out his chest. “Right.” Tina mutters, offering her hand to him. He takes it. She hauls him to his feet where he sways dangerously. She keeps a steadying hand on him while he wraps an arm around her shoulders. “You should see Stark Tower.” He slurs, waving his hand in the air. “Um, sure, lets get you home.” She says. They stand on a corner and wave down a taxi.  

           The man began to sing loudly and so off key, she can’t help but wince every time he hits a high note. Eventually, a cab stops and she places him in it, making sure he’s buckled. “Stark Towers!” The man yells at the driver. Tina gives him an apologetic look. “You got any money?” The driver asks. The drunk blinks for a few moments. He began to pat himself down, then giggles. “Nope! Don’t have my wallet.” He says cheerily. Oh what it would be if Tina herself were this blissfully drunk. “You got any money for him lady?” Tina shut her eyes, sighing. “I don’t.”

“Well then, he ain’t going anywhere is he?” The driver snaps. Tina groans and drags the drunk out of the cab. As the driver tears off the curb she stares at the man in front of her. He’s swaying and singing, completely oblivious to the trouble he’s caused her. Even so, his disheveled look makes her feel bad for him. She can’t just leave him on the side of the street to sober up. This was New York for the love of God. She decides to do the next best thing. She throws his arm over her shoulder and begins to lead him back to her home.

           Dragging him was easier said than done. This stranger simply didn’t want to cooperate with her. He had a bad habit of throwing himself backwards when he tried to hit a high note. He kept screaming at passersby that he was Iron Man. It drew attention to her, turning her face red. She pressed on, however, trying to duck and hide.

            As her building came into the sight, she felt a wave of relief wash over her. Home, her tiny, crappy, living space was well within reach. She could settle him on her shitty bed and leave him to his own devices. He’d be safe there at least.

           Tina was so damn busy with trying to keep the man on his feet she couldn’t open the door. She setlles for banging on it with her foot. Mrs. Burbank comes quickly. The door opens to reveal a short black woman with steel hair and an even steelier gaze. She looks at Tina and her new friend disapprovingly. “He needs a place to stay.” Tina defends. “Just to sleep it off, I swear, nothing else.” Mrs. Burbank rolls her eyes and moves aside. “Thank you Mrs. B!” Tina says brightly, dragging the man into a building.

           Mrs. Burbanks was an old black woman from the south, who had moved to New York to get away from ‘family issues’ as she likes to put it. She and her husband at managed to make a decent enough amount of money to move into an Italian neighborhood. They’d bought the house Mrs. Burbank currently rented out to four other tenants. Six bedrooms, one kitchen, three bathrooms.

           All four tenants got along rather well. Mostly staying out of each others’ way, They had dinner together once a week. Yuri and Anton lived in the room right across from Tina. They were a nice couple, looking to settle down and start a life in America. Tina was sure Yuri had been part of the mob. No man had as many scars as he did and live a peaceful life.

           Florence Stenson was an old friend of Mrs. Burbank. She didn’t come out of her room much, but every Tuesday, she and Tina had tea. They’d listen to old Frank Sinatra songs and waltz. Sometimes they painted. Florecne was good at it, but Tina was crap. It was a fun way to pass the time either way.

           Tina sets the man just outside her door. He’s going through a particularly inspired version of Bohemian Rhapsody when Yuri opens his door to see what the hell is going on. She smiles sheepishly. “Um, I need to stay over?” She says. “No job?” He asks, completely ignoring the man on the floor. “Unfortunately, no.” She admits. She opens her door and drags the man to his feet. “I’m Iron Man.” He says again. “I know.” Tina mutters through gritted teeth. She leaves the door open behind her, setting the man gently on his bed. He looks pleased to be able to lie down on something other than concrete.  

           Because Tina lives alone, she has the smallest room. Her tiny bed is shoved up against a wall, a book shelf, a cheap plastic table with it’s equally cheap plastic chair are the only furniture. She has a fridge that’s unplugged, that sits in the corner. Years ago, Mrs. Burbank had installed a counter and a sink. There’s no stove, but Tina has always mad do with her portable range. Cooking for one was easy, and she never had guests.

           Tina let’s the man settle, then begins to take off his shoes, leaving his sock on. She goes on to remove his suit jacket and his tie. The man pushes her off, looking very suddenly looking very serious. “You’re not seeing little Iron Man.” He slurs. “Not without a kiss first.” Tina looks at him incredulously, but simply laughs it off. She pulls her last water bottle from the fridge, and some pain killers and places it on the floor next to him. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she tells him, throwing her blanket over him. The man immediately falls asleep.

           Tina walks out of her room and shuts the door behind her. Yuri is still standing in his doorway, looking at her curiously. “I couldn’t just leave him in the street.” She sargues. “You are too nice for your own good.” He mumbles, letting her into his room.

*

           Tony cracks open an eye, feeling a sense of panic. This was not his home. Try as he might, he can’t remember what happened after that fifth shot of tequila. Oh God, had he gone home with someone? Had anything happened to him? He looked down at his clothes, they were still on him, except for his shoes, tie, and blazer jacket. He looks around the room, slowly.

           It was dinky, but bright. The walls yellowed with age, the light thanks to the curtain less windows. The small bookshelf he saw held mostly college text books. A fridge that wasn’t even plugged in. A table and two chairs were next to the window. That was it. Alright, he’d woken up in worse places than this. He sits up slowly. Next to him, on the floor, is a bottle of water and painkillers. He scoops them up and downs them.

           There’s a knock on the door. He lays back down, not wanting to face the person coming in. They might get handsy, or irrational if he tried to leave too quickly. He did peak though as the door opens to reveal a woman walk through. He didn’t get much of her face. From what little skin he could see, he knew she was a rich tan color, and her black, curly hair was in a ponytail.

           After putting something down she turns to him. “Sir?” She whispers, grabbing his shoulder gently. He doesn’t move at first. “Excuse me sir?” She tries again, shaking him gently. This time, he cracks open an eye. The woman smiles gently at him. She was pretty. A smattering of freckles across her straight nose and high cheekbones. Full lips pulled over white teeth, and the most intense blue eyes he’d ever seen.

“I brought you breakfast.” She says quietly. “It isn’t much.” She motions to the table.  He looks at it to see two bowls of steam. “You don’t have to eat if you don’t want. I’m sure you just want to be on your way.” She backs up, not turning her back to him. He sits up slowly. “Your shoes and stuff are near the door.” She jerks her head in that direction. Sure enough, his jacket and tie were hanging neatly over his shoes. He still said nothing, but gets up and settles in the chair opposite her.

           He looks at the meal in front of him. It was rice and sweet potato, a combination he had never seen before. “I’m told it helps with hangovers.” She says. “But then again, what doesn’t help right?” Tony simply stars at her. If it’s awkward for her, she didn’t show it. Instead, she digs into her own bowl of rice.

           Eventually he does as well, delighted to find that it wasn’t as bad a breakfast as he would’ve thought. He scarfs it down, despite the rolling waves of nausea in his stomach. “Did anything happen last night?” He finally asks, curious. The girl chuckled. “No sir. Nothing happened. You just sort of ran into me screaming you were Iron Man is all.”

“So, you brought me back to your apartment?” He said.  She shrugs. “Couldn’t leave you out on the street.”

“Sure, you could’ve.” The girl shrugs again. No one was really that nice, were they? “Thank you,” He says, trailing off. “You’re welcome sir.”

“Tony.”

“Pardon?”

“My name, Tony Stark.” He stretches out his hand. “Martina Rogers.” She says, shaking his hand. It was a good handshake, firm grip like his father had taught. “Pleasure.” He mutters. “Pleasure’s mine.” She repeats. After he finishes breakfast, Tina clears his plate and begins to rinse them in the sink. Tony stares at her hard for a few minutes. There was something that bothered him about Martina, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Alright. Well, I’m off.” He says, getting up quickly, he wants to out of this place, away from this strange new woman that’s entered his life.

“Sure Mr. Stark.” The girl says, not even turning to him. He rushes to put his shoes and jacket on. As he sprints down the rickety steps of this god-awful building, she follows him patiently. She calls after him, wishing him a good day, and shuts the door behind him. He doesn’t stop to acknowledge her.

           He’s so wrapped up in trying not to think about Martina Rogers, getting picked up by Happy, finding his missing wallet, and getting home doesn’t even register. He only comes out of his thoughts when he’s alone, sitting in his lab. He looks around, briefly wondering how he got there, deciding he doesn’t care, then goes about trying to keep himself busy.

           First, he tries to make a new suit, then, he tries to clean up, after that, he tries actually building something. Nothing works. He gets up and rushes from his lab, trying to get some peace. He wonders around his silent home, irritated, wanting noise, yet not being able to stand it. What the hell is wrong with him?

           In the end, he throws himself on his bed and closes his eyes, trying his best to sleep. While he dreams, he swears he can smell sweet potatoes.  

#marvel cinematic universe #iron man #tony stark #tony x oc

[lovewavesxx]

Love Waves – EP 8 – Cloud 9

“I once wanted to give you My Universe, but hun, I've got to let you go. Let me live on Cloud 9 alone now. xx. 2-12-17 11:32AM –E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/3jIaMGyFfzttSg208LZtOT

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-8-cloud-9/idpl.u-pMylyNRU085rdz

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRSSsZ6dMn6RhHBNSbLHIySc

1. Nat King Cole – L-O-V-E

2. Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong – You Won’t Be Satisfied (Until You Break My Heart)

3. Dion & The Belmonts – Tonight, Tonight

4. Frank Sinatra – That’s Life

5. Dinah Washington & Hal Mooney and His Orchestra – Let’s Go Around Together

6. Louis Armstrong – La Vie En Rose

7.  The Belmonts – P.S. I Love You

8. Ella Fitzgerald & Nelson Riddle and His Orchestra – All The Things You Are

9. Frank Sinatra – The Way You Look Tonight

10. Dean Martin – Mambo Italiano

11. Peggy Lee – Call Me

12. Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong – They Can’t Take That Away From Me

13. The Pied Pipers – I’ll Never Smile Again

14. Nat King Cole – Where or When

15. Dinah Washington & Hal Mooney and His Orchestra – That’s All I Want from You

16. George Shearing, Nat King Cole, & George Shearing Quintet – Let There Be Love

17. Peggy Lee – Big Spender

18. Dean Martin – Love Me, Love Me

19. The Nat King Cole Trio – Red Sails In The Sunset

20. Frank Sinatra – Fly Me to the Moon

Please listen to this playlist with the shuffle off.

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Click here to leave a comment or say something idk :) (it’s anonymous)

cloud nine

/kloud/ /nīn/

1. a state of perfect happiness (usually in the phrase on cloud nine).

2. a state of total euphoria

I can probably guarantee no one will listen to this week’s playlist. You may be asking why I would make a playlist knowing in advance it does not appeal to most people, and you best believe I have an answer.

I started listening to jazz in February of 2017 when I needed music that was unlike anything else I was currently listening to. At that time, I really hated music. If you know me, then you know that is a monumental problem to have because music has been a very important part of my life since I was little and my Grandma Melba would let me play on her piano while she watched us during the day.

Everything I was listening to, prior to or around February, was my absolute favorite, and I knew he was listening to a lot of that same stuff as well. The thought of that was hard for me to accept. Everything reminded me of him, and I probably never crossed his mind. You see, we weren’t talking anymore at that time. He faded again, so I faded, I found an old distraction, and I quickly let that die again too. That was the last distraction I had in my life. I have no clue what the fuck he was doing during that time. I never really know what he’s doing or thinking. It doesn’t matter anymore though.

I know it sounds crazy, but bonding with someone over music is a huge deal for me. It can be a problem for me. When they decide to leave guess who’s stuck with memories and a soundtrack to relive every emotion? Me. Guess who has a history of having complications managing those occasionally overwhelming emotions? Me.

In my head, it doesn’t matter who you are, if I attach you to a song or artist, you’re most likely there for life. The only way it’s tolerable is if the thought of you when the song comes on doesn’t make me upset. Some of my favorite music accidentally gets tainted when I let other people know about it. So, if I don’t play music around you or share music with you, it’s because I can’t. I just can’t.

At that time in February I needed music with a clean history. That’s what Frank Sinatra did for me. That’s what jazz did for me. It took me mentally away from where I was when I needed a break. It took me to Cloud 9.

The description, “I once wanted to give you My Universe, but hun, I've got to let you go. Let me live on Cloud 9 alone now xx.,” stems from two playlists that have the ability to emotionally destroy me or put me in the best mood.

“My Universe” was a playlist I made as a response to the playlist he made for me titled “xx.” I came up with the name for my playlist because of a conversation he and I had. I think it was after he’d already sent me his playlist and I was telling him he needed to do one radio show because his selection and flow was ridiculously amazing. (I was the radio station manager at that time.) I think I asked what would it take for me to get him to do it and he said something like the “the universe.” In my dumb brain I decided I could never give him the universe, but I would willingly give him every ounce of My Universe. Too deep? Yuh, welcome to my life.

In all honesty, his playlist is still much better than mine haha, but mine also has a lot of complexity and meaning that has never been discussed with really anyone including him—especially the last track.

Those two playlists were created in January of 2017, and they really fucked me up. To give a brief example, the title “xx.” comes from something very personal in my life. Whether he was aware of it or not, or you’re aware of it or not, when I was seventeen years old I was suicidal for the first time. I used to write letters to get the shit in my brain out. Writing was my salvation. Writing is still very much my salvation. I used to sign each letter with an xx. That xx. was me signing my heart on that paper. It has a bunch of other meaning to me as well, but these days when I sign something xx., in short, it means this is from my heart.

So when he made me a playlist that took him four hours to make, seven hours to listen to, and I let that playlist be the soundtrack to my vacation abroad, I got even more attached to those songs, artists, and flow. More than I already was prior to the playlist’s conception. I took that effort of his as a gesture. Time has proved it was very much not a gesture. It was just something for him to do.

When I got back, things felt different, and by February things were different. By March, we actually had a couple good weeks and album releases together. April was bad. April was real bad…May had a brief beam of light. June got better. July felt like sunshine. August felt like a rainbow. September felt like a shooting star. Now, October feels like a foggy morning in The Bay. I’m okay though. I won’t let myself get April 2017 bad again.

If you’d like to listen to the full Cloud 9 playlist you can find the links below. Just listen to them on shuffle.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/70ltGwFZ9CGXqnnXhYvTPQ

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/cloud-9/idpl.u-yZyV9YZIWgZkbE

Wow, I did not purposefully mean to say all of that stuff. Imma end that intense lil chat now. :)

Song Explanations:

I am convinced Ella and Louis are one of the greatest duet partners to have ever existed.

Frank’s Fly Me to the Moon fills my entire body with joy. To fully get the proper experience for this song you must ride windows down, sunroof open, music loud, and the night sky has to be on full display. Also, you have to sing at the top of your lungs. Issa must bb. Haha

In general, the sounds from the piano and trumpet players during that period really calm me down. I am eternally grateful for jazz music. Also, my life feels like some type of fancy movie whenever I listen to jazz. *insert shoulder shrugging emoji*

Love,

-E xx.

p.s. If you do listen to this playlist, I hope it makes you feel out of this world, like it does for me. xx.

#comp playlist

[gyu-nim]

Touch

Warning: 15+ Topics 

OKAY, I know I’m writing another Sungkyu one but I’d straight up be lying if I told you I didn’t have an incredible time writing this. I know I haven’t been updating as frequently. I’m still on vacation right now and tbh I’ve been busy keeping up with the promotional activities of a certain movie series that I’m a fan of :) I was sitting in front of my laptop today, still on a high from enjoying a few days of full-on fangirling when I thought about this. What I’m writing about in this one, is something I plan to do to my future husband (lol). Hence, I channeled my future wants onto Gyu because I would like to imagine the man I’m going to marry has somewhat similar qualities to him. Also, let me know which member you want me to write about next. I’m thinking of writing my first Jong scenario but currently still at a loss for topics. Let me know if you have any ideas~

Listen:

Birthday - JP Cooper 

Witchcraft - Frank Sinatra 

- Nas

“What did you just say?”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the expression plastered on his face, “You heard me.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “I just wanted to make sure you were in your right mind and not possessed.”

Smiling, you crossed your arms, “Oh I meant it, alright.”

“You want us to not have sex for the next three months?”

As you nodded, his eyes widened. All the things he did over the past 24 hours flew back to his mind, was it possible he did something to piss you off? What did he do so wrong that you actually requested ninety days of no intimacy with him?

“Okay, I don’t know if I did something to you but if I did, I’m sorry.”

You burst out in laughter, “Relax, you did nothing wrong. It’s just that, I want us to be able to resist ourselves at least until our wedding night.”

“Just why exactly are you doing this?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I feel like, you know, we didn’t take the traditional route,” you shrugged, “and so I wanted there to be some sort of tension leading up to our wedding night. I want to feel excited about us sleeping with each other on our first night as husband and wife.”

He stood up, “I can tell you right now I’d be just as excited to sleep with you then if you let me sleep with you now!”

“Gyu,” you smiled and placed your palm on his cheek, “do this for me, please?”

“We can do other stuff though, right?”

You shook your head, “No. Physical contact is limited to hugs and kisses for the next three months.”

“You’re kidding!” he groaned.

“Nope,” you held his hands, “come on, you can do this.”

Sungkyu pouted, “How do you expect me not to touch you? That’s going past all my basic instincts.”

“You can touch me just…not like that.” You said and slapped his hand away, which had been creeping its way up under your shirt.

“I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this.” He let out a sigh.

“Oh come on, three months will go by in a flash.”

…

One Week Later

“Oh come on!”

Sungkyu was now in a cranky mood. A whole week without touching you nearly drove him crazy. Of course, he had to opt to pleasuring himself – which he realized only gave him a temporary distraction before going right back to wanting you. Because the two of you still resided in the same house, he made sure you knew just how bad he was suffering. He would come out of the bathroom with a smug look on his face, only to earn a grin from you telling him well done, another few weeks and he’d get his prize.

You were seated next to him on the couch, wearing one of his t-shirts and shorts, with your legs stretched on top of his thigh. For the past hour, you had been concentrating at the movie which was playing on the television while he relentlessly attempted to get you naked. You had to swat his hand away ten times before he finally had enough of it.

“How are you putting up with this?” he threw his hands up in the air in defeat.

You laughed, “In general, I’m more patient than you are.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” he glared, “it’s been a week! Come on, let’s go on the sex strike next week and have fun tonight.”

You scrunched your nose up and poked his stomach, “No.”

He rolled his eyes and tossed your legs off this thigh. You stifled back a laugh as he made his way towards your bedroom while mumbling angry nonsense.

“Going to the bathroom again, I suppose?” you called out.

He poked his head out by the door, “Glad you noticed, this is all your fault you know?”

“Have fun!” you wiggled your fingers and waved.

He scoffed and slammed the door shut.

…

One Month Later

He paced around the bedroom nervously as he hissed, “Come on, pick up, pick up, pick up.”

“Hello?”

He sighed in relief as he heard your voice, “Hey, you.”

“Hey, yourself. What do you want?”

“Well I just wanted to see how you were doing, since, you know, you’re staying at your parents’ house from now on until the wedding.”

You giggled, “I just moved out this morning, Gyu.”

He groaned, the truth was, he was desperately uncomfortable and hearing your voice only made him way more aroused than he was before. That was the reason he couldn’t resist himself from calling you.

“I was thinking,” he cleared his throat, “you said that I couldn’t touch you? Touch, that’s physical right?”

“Where are you going with this?” he could almost see your expression.

“Well, that means phone sex isn’t off limits, isn’t it?”

There was a silence on the other side of the phone for a couple of seconds before you burst out laughing, “Goodbye, Kim Sungkyu.”

“No, wait! Don’t hang-” and the phone line went dead.

He yelled in frustration and plopped himself onto the bed. Turning towards your pillow, he inhaled your scent deeply and prayed to God for some sort of comfort that night, because it was going to be a long one. Hell, every single night he spent without you will really push him to limits he’s never been in before.

…

One Week Before the Wedding

“I can’t believe you made him do that.”

“What?” you shrugged as you sipped from your cup of coffee, “There’s only a week left.”

Your best friend sat in front of you with eyes as huge as tennis balls, “You basically forced him into abstaining from sexual activity for three months! And you, come on! Don’t lie to me and say you haven’t been aching to touch him.”

“Of course, I’ve been turned on a couple of times over the past few weeks. But that’s what I like about it – I know my wedding night will be…mind-blowing.” You sighed and giggled.

She rolled her eyes, “You’re marrying Kim Sungkyu, don’t you think you’ll be getting a scolding instead of mind-blowing sex because you’ve done this?”

“I think he’s way too aroused to have his mind straight.”

Clucking her tongue, she picked up her coffee, “How’s he dealing with it?”

“Well,” you pursed your lips, “for the first month he basically begged me for it every single night. Christ, it was as if he was going to die without touching me. But all of a sudden, two weeks ago, he went silent and stopped asking for it. To be fair, we haven’t met up in person for a while since we’re both busy which each other’s side of the wedding. But even the texts he’s sent me are different.”

“Different, how?”

“I think he’s playing ball with it – he’ll make sure I learn my lesson on our wedding night.”

Your best friend’s coffee was now suspended mid-air, “Hot.”

You winked at her, “Exactly.”

…

Rehearsal Dinner – the night before the Wedding

Dinner went pretty smoothly – the two of you were seated next to each other at the head table surrounded by family and close friends. Laughter filled the air and a playlist of all your favorite love songs was looped. You loved every second of it, but you were quite concerned at your fiancée’s behavior.

Throughout the entire night, Sungkyu had only touched you a handful of times. First, when the two of you saw each other he placed a gentle kiss on your cheek. Second, he held your hand as he gave a mini-speech. And then there was the little tap on your thigh as he asked if you wanted more champagne.

“Everything okay?” he snapped you out of your daze.

You shook your head and smiled, “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”

“You’ve been floating around for a while.”

“I’m just distracted.” You said as you quickly took a sip of champagne.

Sungkyu, on the other hand knew exactly what he was doing. He enjoyed watching you squirm at his gaze, because it let him know that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. He had resorted to working out (for the first time in his life) as a method of distraction for the past few weeks. He was prepping himself to – literally – drown you in pleasure tomorrow night.

He leaned into your ear, “Turned on?”

Your eyes widened, “No.”

“You can tell me, baby.” He smirked.

You turned towards him and let out a scoff, “So you’re doing this on purpose?”

“You said no touching.” He shrugged.

Rolling your eyes, you bit your lip, “Game on, Gyu.”

“Oh it is so, on.”

…

The wedding had gone by exactly the way you wanted it to. You were incredibly grateful to have had the best day of your life and everyone you loved with you. Of course, you and Sungkyu had proceeded to take the game to a whole other level today. He had been constantly touching you – even at unnecessary times.

Of course, you hadn’t been such a saint yourself. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself every time you imagined the look on his face as you swayed your hips to him on the dance floor. He had grinded back into you as a response – which made you turn red in front of everyone watching.

The two of you were now making your way towards your designated cabana, which was secluded from every other part of the resort. He held out his hand to help you down from the golf buggy. Opening the door, you sighed at the sight in front of you. The entire room was lit with candles with roses spread everywhere.

“Who did this?”

He smiled, “Let’s just say I made sure you were going to like the view tonight.”

You turned towards him, “Why Mr. Kim, such a charmer.”

“Mrs. Kim,” he smiled proudly, “more champagne?”

Nodding enthusiastically, he laughed and shut the door behind him. The two of you popped open a bottle of champagne and made a toast to the prosperous life to come. Placing the champagne flute back on the table, you let out a squeal of delight as he swept you up in his arms.

“I have to carry you over the threshold.”

You raised an eyebrow, “Shouldn’t you have done that at the front door?”

“Front door, bedroom door, same thing.” he said as he kicked the bedroom door open, entering it and placing you back on the ground, facing him.

His gaze was all you needed to know what exactly was about to happen. You encircled your arms around his neck and brought your lips to his. Sungkyu released a sigh of relief as he placed one hand around your hips and the other buried into your hair. Happily letting his tongue in, you felt him mess around with the clips in your hair until it fell, covering your back.

He pulled away, “You have no idea what I have in store for you tonight.”

Amidst your heavy breathing you smiled, “Whatever it is, I think I’m going to like it.”

“Turn around.”

You obeyed his command and felt his fingers unbutton your dress one by one. As soon as all buttons were off, he carefully slipped the dress from your shoulders and it soon fell in a puddle onto the ground. You heard him gasp at the sight in front of him. You smirked, you knew exactly what made him react that way.

Earlier this morning you had purchased the most beautiful set of lingerie – hell even the sight of is was arousing. You had been giddy the entire day waiting for him to undress you just so you could see his reaction.

“Face me.” He told you as he released a sigh, “Goddamn, you are one beautiful woman.”

Smiling, you stepped closer towards him, “Three months worth it?”

“Fuck baby,” he released a breathy laugh, “if I had known, I would’ve waited an entire year.”

You giggled as he pushed you onto the bed and climbed on top of you. He worked a trail of kisses from the top of your head all the way down to your legs. Moans emanated from your lungs as he did his magic on you.

“I’ve missed your touch.”

He pulled you up to straddle him and looked into your eyes, “I’ve missed you.”

You caressed the top of his head, “You have me forever, now.”

He took your palm and kissed the finger which had both your wedding and engagement rings, “And I’ll make sure that you enjoy every single second of it.”

#kim sunggyu #kim sungkyu #sunggyu scenarios #sungkyu scenarios #infinite scenarios #infinite #kpop #fanfiction