#different from my usual stuff! feel like I’m back in college <3

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Part 6

Steve 'the Hair' Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you'll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie. (1 2 3 4 5)

A/N: How are we feeling in a post-"Flight of Icarus" world, y'all? I knew from the beginning that I'd want to add some of the lore in and let me tell you, I LOVE Ronnie Ecker. For those of you who did not read the book, or haven't had a chance to, Ronnie is Eddie's best friend who ended up with a full scholarship to NYU. They're siblings, your honor.

Also if anyone can show me on this map where the plot is going, I'd really appreciate it.

This late at night, the only sounds in the trailer park came from the occasional dog barking and the echoes of Eddie’s tapes blasting as he pulled up to Wayne’s trailer. His uncle was working tonight as usual, which would normally allow Eddie time to hog the tv before passing out for a few precious hours before he had to get up for school. 

Tonight however, his mind was buzzing with what had just happened less than an hour ago. He liked you, he wasn’t sure how much yet but he did. You were sharp and knew your stuff about metal. It helped that you were cute. Really cute. 

He liked seeing you in the passenger seat of his car, matching wits with his friends and ranting about Ozzy. He liked seeing you laughing and the way you watched him play. He really liked the way you had fiddled with the pick he’d thrown at you at the end of the set. 

Eddie had never done that before. He’d wanted to, but never had anyone’s attention like that before- no. That wasn’t true. There had been one other person who’d listened to him play like that, two years ago. 

Was he always gonna fold to the site of a pretty girl actually paying attention to his music? 

“Of course you are.” Ronnie’s voice echoed on the phone. “And I’m gonna laugh every time you do.” 

Eddie groaned, holding the receiver to his ear as his forehead pressed against the front of the fridge. He hadn’t planned on running to her with this, but he was nowhere near able to wind down. He hadn’t even expected Ronnie to pick up the phone this late at night with the time zone difference and the fact that it was a school night. He’d have to push his stash a bit harder to pay Wayne back for the long distance call. 

The past two years had been a slow crawl of building back trust up with Veronica Ecker. The two had gone almost a whole summer without talking before Eddie had basically groveled for forgiveness outside of Granny Ecker’s trailer before Ronnie left for New York. She had forgiven him enough to let him give her a ride to the airport. 

“Last time?” He’d asked. 

“Last time.” She’d repeated. 

“So why didn’t you shack up with her tonight?” Ronnie asked. “You got her into your van, and you dropped her off like a gentleman.” 

“I don’t know, I panicked.” Eddie sighed, bonking his head against the fridge a few times. “She was right there, and she was leaning in and all I saw was Paige leaning in-”

“You know not every girl who shares your taste in music is Paige, right?” Eddie could practically see Ronnie rolling her eyes on the other end of the line. 

“Any girl that shares my taste in music ends up fucking off to the opposite end of the country.” 

This made Ronnie laugh. “You’re an idiot. Paige fucked off back to her job and I fucked off to college.”

“Fucking off is fucking off.”

“Maybe you need to fuck off.”

“I tried, remember?” 

She remembered. Both of them remembered. 

“Look, stop being a dipshit.” Ronnie said after a moment of awkward silence. “You’re graduating this year, right?”

“Uhhh...”

“Eddie.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m working on it. I just need those last stupid two classes and then I’m home free.” Eddie confirmed. 

“You can’t stay in high school forever.” Ronnie said. “And you’re gonna realize that there’s life outside of Hawkins. Have you even talked to Paige since then?”

He hadn’t, and they both knew it. Eddie gave up two months after she’d bailed him out of jail. Two months of dead air silence. He got the hint. 

“No.”

“Then stop worrying about one girl from over two years ago!” Eddie could feel the phantom pain of Ronnie punching him in the arm like she always used to. “Get laid and graduate, Munson. You earned it.”

Eddie snorted, sliding down the fridge to sit on the cool floor. “Is that the only advice you got for me, Ecker?”

“It’s the only advice you need. Did you pass that test last week?” Ronnie asked. 

“By the skin of my teeth.” Eddie sighed, leaning his head back against the fridge. 

“Your new girl graduated, maybe she can help you study.”

“She’s not my girl. She’s a girl that I’ve met a handful of times-”

“That’s turning your brain to mush.” 

“She doesn’t even know who I am, Ronnie.” He fiddled with the chord in his hand, watching the spiral wind and unwind around his fingers. It was already stretched out pretty bad, with a few spirals already tangled beyond repair like his old slinky from when he was a kid. 

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Ronnie asked. “She doesn’t know you, that means she doesn’t feed into the bullshit of the rumor mill.” 

Ronnie had a point and he hated it, but that’s why he called her to begin with. Ronnie was the only person who could cut through his Munson bullshit and give it to him straight. He missed it. As much as he enjoyed the power he had to protect his little lost sheepies, they were all too intimidated to actually stand up to him and call him out the way that Ronnie would.

“Yeah, you’re right. As usual.” Eddie could hear her snort and he couldn’t stop himself from grinning. “So why the hell are you even awake right now? Up til 2 am on a school night, Ecker?”

“It’s barely past midnight, the time zone isn’t that off. I was studying for a test, but hearing you complain about your love life is a far more productive use of my time.” 

“You’re using me to slack off, aren’t you?” 

“If I have to look at my flashcards one more time tonight my eyes are gonna go square. How’s Granny doing?”

“She’s an empty nester and is determined to turn me into her replacement grandson until you visit again.” Eddie shook his head. “She threatened to give me a haircut the last time she dropped off a plate for Wayne.”

Ronnie had come back to visit a grand total of five times since she’d left, returning for holidays and summers to visit Granny Ecker and by extension Eddie. Each time she’d come back with stories of law school and how different New York is. 

It seemed impossible, everything that Ronnie had told him about going to college and about life outside their small town. She was playing Dungeons and Dragons still, having found a group that would play with her. According to her, being a rules lawyer for the game at a law school hit way different than it had their small Hellfire group in high school. No one even cared that they played outside of a few students who had better things to do than enact violence against a few nerds. 

Then again, in law school everyone was some sort of nerd. Eddie wondered if even a freak would be accepted there. Well, socially at least. He wasn’t delusional enough to think he’d be able to be accepted into law school with his grades. Ronnie had invited him up to visit a few times, but there was never time or money to do it. 

The two continued talking for another hour, catching up until Ronnie was scolding him for staying up so late on a school night. 

“Yeah? And what’s your excuse?” Eddie said. “It’s almost 4:20 am there.” 

“Ha. Ha. Again, ha.” Ronnie said. “Still not how timezones work. And my first class doesn’t start until noon.”

Right. In college you didn’t have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn every day. 

“Night, Ecker.”

“Night, Munson. Graduate and get laid.” 

“Does it matter the order?”

“Good night, Eddie.”

Talking to Ronnie had eased his nerves, but there was still something inside that wouldn’t let him lay down and go to sleep. It was late now, way later than he intended to stay up tonight. The night he played at the Hideout always had him up late, and his teacher already considered him more useless than usual on Wednesdays. It’s not like anyone would care if he slept in class, unless they were in a particularly foul mood. 

He made his way to a stack of books in his room rummaging through a pile or two until he found what he was looking for. Eddie’s copy of Lord of the RIngs was well loved at best, and completely trashed at worst. The cover of the paperback was nearly torn off, taped back together haphazardly over the years. Pages were dogeared, the spine was cracked, notes were scribbled in the margins, and his name was scribbled in messy cursive on the front page declaring that this book belonged to Eddie Munson and that he was in third grade.

Eddie stripped out of most of his clothes, tossing his jewelry on his nightstand, and hopped into bed. He turned on a small lamp and opened the book. He could probably recite the first chapter from memory if he tried, the words on the page a comfortable lullabye for his wound up mind. But tonight he flipped to a page near the end where his bookmark was. The flower made out of blue construction paper wasn’t nearly as old as the book, and only in better shape because it never left the safe pages of Tolkein’s writing. 

His eyes glanced at his arm again, your phone number a temporary tattoo on his skin until it washed off. Shit, it was going to wash off eventually. Eddie grabbed a pen from under his bed and added another scribble to the inside of the book before copying your number carefully onto the paper flower. At least this way he’d always know where it was. 

With that aside, Eddie didn’t make it through three pages of his book before he passed out with the light still on. 

Fall Semester, 1984

The PrinciPAL’s office was just as interesting and inviting as it always was, which is to say not at all. Eddie was slumped back on a chair, watching as Janice sorted through paperwork, pretending to look busy so that she could avoid any small talk with ‘that Munson boy’. He had been waiting for Higgin’s to show up for almost fifteen minutes now, because why shouldn’t he waste Eddie’s time at this point? The worst that was going to happen today is that they’d do their little song and dance, Eddie would plead his case that the flyers were absolutely serious and that Chris Morrison had every intent to run for student council, and that it was all of the club that had made the posters, Higgins would shake his head and not believe Eddie for a second (which to be fair, this would be the first time that Eddie would admit privately that it was his fault), they’d go back and forth until Eddie got some form of detention or Saturday school. 

Honestly, the worst part would be rescheduling Hellfire if he wound up in detention. 

Eddie had counted out 13 paper clips that Janice had used in her papershifting before the door to the front office opened up again. He looked up, expecting to see Higgins walk in, ignore him for another five minutes, before Janice would let Eddie go in. 

He didn’t expect to see you, pale and shaken, clutching a teacher’s note in your hand. Eddie watched as you handed the note over to Janice who read it, shook her head, and pointed at the chair next to himself. Your eyes never left the floor as you sat next to him, staring at the cheap carpet as if you could somehow burn a hole in it and disappear. 

Trouble was no stranger to Eddie, and Eddie was no stranger to trouble. In Hawkins the name ‘Munson’ might as well be in the thesaurus next to the word. This wasn’t his first rodeo, and it would be far from his last as long as Higgins stayed the princiPAL. He’d walk away with a lecture and a sigh and then it would be business as normal. 

The look on your face though, that was far from the mild annoyance he felt. You look downright traumatized at the idea of having been sent here. Eddie glanced up at Janice who deigned to make eye contact with him now. Her eyes flicked between the two of you, a disapproving look behind her purple frames as if this was somehow Eddie’s fault that you had ended up here as well. But then, as far as any of the faculty from the office was concerned, even him being enrolled at this school was a death sentence to the rest of the poor student body. Eddie was a disease that they would try to contain until they had the cure to remove him. 

The shaking of your knee made your chair (and his chair by proxy) rattle slightly. The quiet of the office and the mundane shuffling of Janice’s papers only added to the tension that was radiating off you. 

“Janice, is Higgin’s gonna be long?” Eddie finally asked, and your bouncing knee stopped for just a moment before going back to its nervous movement. 

“He’s in a very important meeting.” Came the reply over a stack of papers, still not looking at Eddie. 

He sighed again and looked over at you, trying to place where he knew your face. Your eyes were a bit red, and you looked like you were on the verge of crying. Shit, he needed to do something before he had to ask Janice for the tissue box. 

“First time?” Eddie asked, and when you didn’t respond he nudged your knee with his. 

You jumped slightly, head snapping up. It was a wonder you didn’t give yourself whiplash and it would have been almost funny to Eddie had you not looked like a deer in the headlights looking at him. 

“I... Huh?” your voice cracked slightly. 

“What are ya in for?” Eddie did his best to give you a smile which he was sure made him look more like a serial killer than a comfort. It was rare he wished that he had his dad’s smile, but in cases like this he’d make an exception. 

You looked at the paper in your hand and swallowed. “Uh... skipped.” 

“Skipped school or just class?” Eddie prompted, trying to get you to talk more. If you were talking, then you weren’t crying. That’s what he hoped at least. 

“Class.” He didn’t think you’d say anymore but you surprised him. “US History.” Eddie caught the way your eyes darted to Janice again as if to make sure she wasn’t listening in, but Janice had better things to do than to eavesdrop on two delinquents. “I wasn’t... I had a bad day. I'm having a bad day. I felt like I was going to explode and I went to the library.” 

Eddie nodded, wondering what had happened today that made you need to duck out. It wasn’t his business, and frankly Higgin’s was going to grill you enough as it was. 

“Rookie mistake.” He said instead. 

“Rookie...?” 

Eddie kept his voice low and leaned in closer to you as if telling you a secret. “If you’re gonna skip, you can’t go to the library. You might as well have walked into the teacher’s lounge and announced that you were cutting class.”

You let out a sharp breath that he swore counted for a laugh. “Thanks for the heads up, can you tell me that a few hours ago?”

There was color returning to your face now and Eddie kept going. His brown eyes scanned your face, trying to place where he knew you from. Hawkins was a small town, and there was nothing about you that screamed ‘I’m new!’. 

He liked your sarcasm though, and his ‘comforting’ grin shifted into a genuine smile. “If you’re gonna ditch, you need to go to the bathroom or go outside.” He said. “Especially for last period. Go hide outside in the woods and you can slip into the parking lot seamlessly without anyone noticing. By the end of the day the teachers are barely taking attendance anyway.”

“Have you been in the girls rooms here?” you asked, shaking your head. “I think I’d rather take my chances here than stay in there longer than I’d have to.” Eddie wasn’t sure if you were trying to make a joke or if you were serious.

“Would you rather hide in the boys room?” he asked. “I swear it only smells like piss almost all of the time and you’d end up in the splash zone even if you were in a stall.”

That got a laugh out of you, a genuine one. Your shoulders were relaxing and you looked down at the paper again and took a deep breath that you exhaled with a sigh. 

“I’ve never been in trouble before.” you said, your hands starting to bend and fold the paper on your lap absently. “I’m not good at being in trouble.”

“Well, lucky for you I’m here.” Eddie nudged your knee again with his. “Being in trouble is kind of my job here at Hawkin’s High. I’m a professional, you know. If I wasn’t here taking up all of Principal Higgin’s time he might have to actually do his job.” 

That last part was louder, as he directed it to Janice who refused to take the bait and only reached for her lilac stapler instead. 

A small smack on his arm drew his attention back to you, you were smiling at him looking astonished. “You’re gonna get us in trouble!” you whispered at him. 

“We’re already in trouble.” Eddie reminded you, his smile never fading. “Look, you’ve never been in trouble before, right? You’re gonna be fine. Just give him a good sob story about being overwhelmed with school, or about a sick pet. If you can squeeze out some tears that’s even better. The worst that he’s gonna do is give you a slap on the wrist and maybe detention if he’s in a shit mood”

You take in his words, listening to him carefully and taking in every word he was saying as if this was life or death. Eddie admittedly, had purposefully slipped into his Dungeon Master voice. It was a skill that normally only worked on his little sheepies in his club, and that was after semesters of training his players to listen and pay attention to his words or else it would be life or death for their characters. 

Having someone else listen to him like that? It felt really good. 

Your mouth started to open to say something but then the office door opened again and Higgin’s stepped in, nodding to Janice and then looking at the two of you. There was an accusatory look in his eyes as he made eye contact with Eddie again, and it was clear what that look said. Leave her alone, don’t make things worse for her than they already are. 

“Munson.” Higgins said and it took everything in him to stay still and not flinch at his last name. He was used to the weight that came with his name, but he hadn’t wanted you to know who he was. Not after he just remembered where he knew you from, glancing down at the note that you had folded into a flower in a fit of nerves. 

“I heard you missed me, Sir.” Eddie forced his eyes to meet Higgin’s. “You really should just start saying hi in the hallways instead of inviting me to these little chats every week. You’re taking away valuable learning time from me, you know.” 

If the two of them had been alone, Higgins would have snapped back at Eddie about being a smartass. But you were there, and the color had drained from your face again, and there was a shine to your eyes that was threatening to spill over your waterline. Higgins looked at you and motioned for you to follow him into his office. 

Eddie wished that you would turn and look at him before disappearing into the PrincePAL’s office. He could imagine you turning to look at him for comfort, he’d give you a smile that would put you at ease and a thumbs up. You’d give him another smile and walk in feeling brave. 

Instead it was like you forgot he was there as your figure disappeared behind the heavy wood door that shut with a heavy click. 

Of course Higgins had you come in first, even though Eddie had already been sitting here since the beginning of the period when he’d been called in. 

He was tempted to go over to the door and press his ear up against it to listen in on what he was saying to you but even Janice would scold him for that. So there Eddie sat for another ten minutes as he waited for you to step out again. 

Higgin’s was the one to open the door and let you out of the office, as if he were some gentleman instead of Eddie’s own personal warden five days a week. You walked out and to Eddie’s surprise you gave him a nod and mouthed thank you as you slipped back out the door and into the hallway. 

Eddie’s eyes followed you until he couldn’t see you anymore and it took Higgin’s standing in front of him with folded arms and saying his full government name for Eddie to snap back to reality. 

“Munson. A word about your little flyers?”

“Well, I’d say a picture is worth a thousand words-”

“In my office.”

Eddie didn’t remember much else about that talk, only remembering the white paper flower that had been carelessly tossed into the trash next to Higgin’s desk. 

“He still hasn’t called you?” Steve asked as you, him, and Robin continued your closing routine. The day had been busy, with almost everyone in Hawkins coming to rent a movie for the weekend. Robin was stocking the candy while you wiped down the sticky counter where children had been touching all day. Who’s idea was it to leave out free suckers on the counter anyway?

Oh right, that was your idea because you loved Halloween. 

“Nope.” you said, your voice a little tense. It had been almost two weeks since that night at the Hideout. You hadn’t returned to the dive bar, hoping that Eddie would call you and make the next move. Each passing day you had stayed as close to the phone as possible when you were home and you’d checked your voicemail every day when you got home for any sign that he’d attempted to reach out. 

Nothing. 

You shouldn’t feel this rejected but you did. It was far too early to tell if you had any feelings beyond initial attraction to the guy, but... you’d felt something. An enjoyment of bantering with him and an ease that came as naturally as your friendship with Robin and Steve. 

Plus, you had to admit it, he was really fucking hot. Seeing him play guitar two weeks ago had haunted your dreams and slipped into a few of your fantasies when you were alone. 

You kept that part to yourself though, that was the last thing that Steve or Robin needed to hear. Besides, that was Steve’s job to go far too into detail about his sex life. Steve had tried ribbing you about going home with Eddie but you’d told him that you were a complete gentleman with him. 

That night had left you feeling electrified, almost high as you danced around your room as you got ready for bed. Even as his odd parting rattled around your brain, you couldn’t help but to feel excited at the idea of seeing him again. 

Then a few days went by. Then a week. And now two weeks later you hadn’t heard from him. The kids hadn’t stopped by either so you couldn’t hassle them about Eddie either. Even if they had, you weren’t sure if you could ask about him, you didn’t want to come across as desperate. 

“Did you ever figure out what he meant by ‘five times?’” Robin asked, opening up a squished package of Reese's Cups. “Like, didn’t you say you didn’t know him?”

You threw your hands up before tossing the paper towels you were using to clean in the trash can. 

“I have no idea.” you said. “Either I’m bad at math, he’s bad at math, or maybe we’re both stupid.”

“He did get held back a few times.” Steve muttered to himself. 

“There’s a chance that you two have met before though.” said Robin, “I mean think about it, you’re both weirdos who went to the same school. Shouldn’t you both have bumped into each other before?” 

“You’d think so, but my group kind of kept to ourselves.” you said with a sigh. “We were private weirdos. When I DID try and make other friends-”

“Yeah, yeah, Chris Morrison shot you down.” Steve said, waving his hand. 

“Oh, you heard that story?” you laughed. “I didn’t think I mentioned it to you before.”

Steve gave you a blank stare that only made you laugh more. “I swear you keep talking about that guy more than Eddie. Maybe I should track him down and set you up on a blind date with him instead.” 

“Don’t you dare!” 

“Hey, that could be fun!” Robin added. “We’ll dress you up super hot, set you up with Chris, and then you can turn him down instead!” 

“Excuse you, Robin. I am always super hot.” you declared, straightening out your unflattering Family Video vest. “Who wouldn’t want a piece of this?”

You hadn’t done laundry in a week, and your hair had seen better days. The green polyester vest was wrinkled and if Keith saw you looking sloppy he’d probably have words about it. Not big words or even intimidating words, but words nonetheless. It was night and day compared to how you’d looked at the Hideout and the arcade earlier in the month. But it wasn’t like you had anyone to impress while you were at work anyway. 

“Hey, nerdy chicks can be hot.” Steve said. “I mean, Nancy’s an academic nerd and I was crazy about her.” 

You hummed thoughtfully and turned to Robin. “How about we get married instead?” you asked. “You, me, a fuck ton of cats, and a tax break. What do you say?”

Robin laughed and shook her head. “You aren’t my type.” Her eyes darted nervously to Steve for a split second and you sighed dramatically. 

“Guess it’s just me and the cats I’ll eventually adopt.” you said. “Not even a tax break.” 

“You know, Keith thinks you’re cute-”

“I am going to pretend that you did not just say that, Harrington.” you said firmly. “Nope, not happening. Uh-uh. Absolutely not.” 

“He’s not... that bad?” Robin said, but you could hear the pain in her voice through the laughter. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.” 

“The lady is trying not to think actually.” you laugh. “We’re closed, I’m actually done thinking. I just wanna finish cleaning up and go home. What’s left?”

“Rewinding the returns,-”

“Ugh.”

“Cleaning up the kids movies,-”

“Ugh.”

“And cleaning the bathroom.”

“UGHHHHHH.” 

“Would you rather clean up the porn room?” asked Robin. 

“Yes actually, I would.” You said. “Whatever they think about doing in that room is what they do end up doing in the bathroom.”

“Gross.”

Steve sighed “Okay, I’ll be the hero and save you ladies from cleaning the bathroom. Robin, you fix the kids section, and you can rewind the tapes.”

“I thought I was in charge here.” You crossed your arms. 

“Okay, did you have a better way to divide and conquer?”

“...No.”

“Then let’s hurry up and-”

Ding!

“Who didn’t lock the door?!” you asked. 

“It was Steve’s job to-” Robin started. 

“Oh, shit. Hi.” Steve was staring at the person who had just walked in. You turned around and your heart jumped in your chest and your stomach dropped. 

“Cursing in front of customers, Harrington?” Eddie said. “Now that’s not very professional of you.”

Robin’s eyes were darting so fast between you and Eddie that you were surprised she wasn’t giving herself vertigo. You tried to give her a pointed glare but your friend either didn’t get the hint or refused to. 

“Well, we’re closed. You can’t be a customer if you can’t pay.” Steve said, putting his hands on his hips. 

Eddie looked away from Steve and made eye contact with you. It had been two weeks since you’d seen him, and you glazed at his arm for a second, trying to see if the faded remains of your phone number were still stamped on his arm. Unfortunately for you he was wearing a heavy leather jacket and you had not yet developed x ray vision. Perhaps in another genre. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” Eddie asked and you, ignoring Steve who looked mildly offended. 

You stood there in shock for a second before Robin nudged you in the rib. 

“I- uh. I have to finish closing.” you said, snapping out of it. 

“Steve and I can handle the rest of closing!” Robin grabbed Steve and shook his shoulder. 

“Guys, I’m literally in charge of you both. I can’t leave before you.” You said, already reaching for your bag under the counter. 

“We can handle it!” Steve said. 

“And I can handle Steve!” Robin added. “We close without you and Keith all the time, remember?”

You could trust Robin, and as long as Steve didn’t knock down any displays then it wouldn’t take them more than another ten minutes to finish up. You were so tempted to turn them down, make Eddie wait as you had waited for him for the past two weeks. 

But you were already stepping behind the counter towards Eddie and tossing the keys to lock up to Robin. Keith would murder you and write you up (in that order) if he knew what you were doing but looking up at the roundest pair of brown eyes you’d ever seen had you in the mood to make questionable choices. 

You shrugged off your vest and tossed it at Steve, in an attempt to make yourself look like you hadn’t spent the whole day dealing with unruly customers and screaming kids. Part of you almost wished that you had agreed to bathroom duty, if only to give you an excuse to look in a mirror and straighten yourself out. 

“Thanks, guys.” you gave them a quick nod, catching sight of Robin’s knowing smirk and Steve shaking his head before walking out the door that Eddie was holding open for you. 

The last thing you heard was the scrambling of the entrance to Family Video being locked. 

Please comment and reblog <3

Part 7

Dividers by @strangergraphics

Tag List: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirly93 @perpetualmess @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh @halialex1119 @bakugouswhOr3

#nacht fic #wing man #eddie munson x reader

[sunshinesteviee]

hi!! from the meet cute list, can I request sitting next to each other on a long bus/train ride with steve? thank you!!

hehe i loved this one! hope you like it too <3 fem!reader, wc: 950ish

-

Steve hates the bus. It’s usually too crowded, and is almost never as quiet as he wishes it was. Plus, he’s always bored out of his mind. He already struggles to focus reading books normally, but it becomes exponentially harder on a bumpy, loud bus. But money has been tight since moving to Chicago for college, and taking the bus back home to Hawkins is cheaper than driving.

Of course, Steve was running late, and by the time he boards the bus, there are only a few seats left. He doesn’t particularly like most of his options — an older woman who will totally talk his ear off the entire time is a definite no, and so is the middle aged man who reminds him a bit too much of his dad, though he can’t imagine his dad ever taking the bus. The last option seems most promising — a girl who looks about his age with her nose buried in a book. He doesn’t want to bother her, but he also doesn’t want to take his chances.

He stops in the aisle and clears his throat, grabbing at the straps of his backpack, “Hey, uh, sorry to bother you…”

You’d been too engrossed in your book to notice him, and his voice scares you, breaking your concentration. Your head snaps up, eyes wide, and fuck Steve thinks, you’re so pretty. You don’t say anything, though, and Steve realizes you’re waiting for him to continue. He shakes his head to clear it and finally asks, “Sorry, um, is it okay if I sit here?”

“Oh,” some of the concern on your face melts, and you nod, moving your stuff even closer to you, “Yeah, that’s fine.”

Shit. Even your voice is pretty.

“Thanks so much,” Steve smiles, dropping his bag onto the floor as he falls into the seat next to you. You’ve picked up your book again and are about to start reading when Steve begins rambling, “I was going to be early for once, but then my best friend asked for help with the girl she likes, and I didn’t think it would take very long, but I should’ve known. I love Robin, but holy shit she does not know when to stop talking—“

The amused look on your face stops Steve in his tracks, and he realizes the irony of what he’s saying. His face flushes a dark pink and he lifts one hand to scratch at the back of his neck, “Kinda like what I’m doing right now… Shit, I’m sorry. I’ll shut up so you can read.”

Your giggle, while slightly humiliating for Steve, sends his heart racing. He knows he needs to make you laugh again, whatever it takes. That is, if you’re even willing to talk to him again. Luckily for him, you close your fingers in your book to save your place and turn towards him slightly, “It’s okay, I don’t mind. Where are you going?”

“Hawkins. It’s my brother’s birthday, so I’m heading home for the weekend to celebrate with him.”

“That’s so sweet. I’m headed there, too. Visiting family for the weekend.”

Steve is absolutely positive that he’d remember you if you’d gone to high school together, but then again, he was a different person back then. Still, he feels bad as he asks, “Are you from Hawkins? I don’t recognize you…”

You shake your head immediately, “Oh, no — my parents moved there after I left for college. Haven’t been there much, but it’s home now, I guess.”

“Oh thank god,” Steve huffs, “I was worried I’d be an asshole for not remembering you, but I’m not really sure I could forget your face.”

“Yeah?” you ask, a bashful smile tugging at your lips at his implication.

There’s an air of confidence about him— despite the blush once again blooming on his cheeks — that you find insanely attractive as he nods in response, “Yeah, definitely. It’d be hard to forget such a pretty face.” Another laugh from you makes Steve grin, and even though he knows he should let you get back to reading, he asks another question, something about school; anything to keep you talking to him.

By the time the bus pulls into Hawkins, you’ve been talking on and off — mostly on — for most of the trip, and if Steve wasn’t smitten with you before, he definitely is now. Not only are you pretty, but you’re smart and funny, and you’re attending the same school as him. As Steve stands and collects his things to get off the bus, he grows nervous again and gives you a tentative smile, “So, is there any chance I’ll see you again?”

After collecting your own things, you follow Steve down the aisle of the bus, pretending to mull over your answer, “Hmm…” The nervous look on Steve’s face cuts your teasing short, though, and you grin at him, “I’d like that, Steve. I’m guessing we’ll be on the same bus back, but I’ll give you my number, just in case.”

“Okay, great! Hold on, I see my brother’s car, I’ll see if he has a pen,” Steve replies, jogging over to Dustin’s car, hoping desperately that Dustin does, in fact, have something to write with.

And when Steve finally jumps in Dustin’s car with a phone number scribbled on his hand and a grin on his face, Dustin is slightly baffled, “No way you got a number on the bus ride here.”

Steve laughs, shrugging nonchalantly as he punches Dustin’s shoulder gently, “So glad I came home for your birthday, dude.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington one shot #blurbs #steve blurbs #my blurbs #sunshinesteviee writing #sunshinesteviee

[woozivrse]

Hiding the Truth, Pretending I'm Fine

Jeon Wonwoo x gn! reader

Genre: Hanahaki AU, college AU, fluff, usual angst that comes with the AU, happy ending!

Words: 4k and some change!

Warnings: vomiting, doctors, surgery mention(doesn't happen! don't worry<3), implied depression? reader feels down and i kinda wrote it in a way that it could be read as depression..., death mentions(one a joke at the start, and the other being apart of the whole AU thing..., cursing, my ocs Mai and Kimi(ok my friends oc...) use different pronouns, Mai(She/He) and Kimi(She/They), blood

Notes: sooo... if you've read this before you are either 1) a friend i had read this for school or 2) you are my old english teacher, in which, hi. why are you here. please leave. please. aka i am repurposing this for tumblr, because i am pretty proud of it, meaning please be gentle on me. i am just a tiny tiny child. but tell me what you think! tell me if i missed any warnings, and stuff like that! also, stole the title from bittersweet. you'll see why! enjoy<3

You had been in love with Jeon Wonwoo for who knows how long, but you hadn't known it. Until you started coughing. You wish it had been easier.

❀DAY 1, SUNDAY 8:30AM, YOUR APARTMENT

“Ooh my baby,” You cooed. “How's my little baby~ Hm? How are you Hoshi? What about you Byeol~~ Thank you for the gift~~”

Kimiko, your high school friend slash roommate, burst into your room. “Stop being a crazy cat person! Get up and out, Wonwoo is waiting for you,”

“Already? I just woke up–”

“Oh, no he's not here, here. He's just waiting for you like, in general y'know?”

“Die,”

“Not how you talk to your bestest friend in the world,” She pouted.

“That would be Wonwoo,”

“Bestest roommate in the world?”

“Mai.”

“Fuck youuuu,”

❀9:25AM, ROCKET CAFE

Sitting down, Wonwoo placed an iced latte in front of you. Every Sunday, the two of you met at either the library or the cafe to plan your week out together. This week was the cafe. He stared at you, watching you work.

“Stop watching me, creep,” you grinned, tapping your foot against Wonwoo. “C’mon, I know I’m pretty ‘n all but you really should stop staring at me,”

“So full of yourself,” He teased. “You’ve got something, here I’ll get it.”

You rolled your eyes at Wonwoo pretending to fix your hair. Always trying to “fix” something, your hair, your clothes. You knew you weren't a messy person. What you didn't know was why Wonwoo did it. Sighing, you just let him fiddle with your hair. As he did that, you stole his phone, unlocking it to check his calendar for the week.

“Boo,” you pouted. “We barely match up this month, outside of class. Look! We don’t match this week and next week we match once, on Friday night,”

Seemingly done with your hair, he checked your planner. “Oh, you’re right. Isn’t that during the get together Cheol is holding?”

“Oh I think it is,” you sulked. “No free time for just us! Oh I am in pain, jail for a thousand years!”

He chuckled. “It’s fine, we can sneak some time in,”

“Not at a Cheol party. I’m gonna be tipsy and you’re probably going to be on babysitting duty,”

“Babysitting you,”

Grumbling, you stood from the chair and fell onto Wonwoo's shoulders like a lump of nothing, smacking him a little. Vernon, your mutual friend who worked at the cafe, took a picture and sent it to their group chat without the two of you, followed by a text saying “yo right in front of my salad?”. The group chat exploded with messages with variants of “they’re seriously not dating?” and one text from Joshua, one of the other workers at the cafe, saying “get back to work!!”.

❀DAY 4, WEDNESDAY 12:30PM, ON THE WAY TO CLASS

This, you decided early on in your college days, was your favorite part of college. Walking with Wonwoo to whatever class you two shared, was great(unless the two of you didn't share a class, in which he would walk you to whatever class you had after the two of you had lunch).

You looked at him, seeing him staring at you, again. “Hey, what's with you looking at me so often, huh?” You raised a brow. “What, do you like me or something?”

He smiled, “Sure, something like that,”

Your face warmed, you could just feel the heat go to your ears.

You whipped your head away from him before saying. “Oh– oh just shut it! Don't even joke about that, Wonwoo!”

And then you started coughing, which granted, the weather had been getting colder, but you started coughing hard. Leaning down, you started coughing into your elbow before pulling away and seeing… petals? Bloody, purple flower petals. You quickly grabbed them before shoving them into your pocket.

Wonwoo put his hand on the small of your back, rubbing it. “Woah, hey, are you alright? Do you need water, anything? I’ll take you home if you need,”

You nodded, your throat still feeling a little raw. “Um… yeah, water would be nice, please,”

He handed you his water bottle, yours being at home. “Here, just drink from it. I’m fine without it for now,”

You sent him an appreciative look before downing the water. “Okay, I think I’ll be good for class now,”

He looked at you, obviously worried. “If you're sure… but I’m taking you home if you start coughing like that again,”

❀1:47, CLASS

You started coughing again.

There was no reason for it, you had just caught Wonwoo once again looking at you weirdly, causing your heart to flutter just a bit before you had berated yourself, thinking, Stop it, stop it! He doesn't like me…he just doesn't. And then the coughing happened again.

It had been so bad that the professor had stopped class and asked if you had needed to go. Wonwoo answered that question by grabbing your stuff and taking you out of the class. Oh well, you thought, Guess going to that class was for nothing.

Once you had finished coughing, you again found bloody petals. What the fuck…

“Hey, are you sure you're okay?” Wonwoo looked really worried now, placing a hand on your forehead, then cheeks. “You certainly don't seem okay, but you’re not warm or anything,”

You shook your head. “I think it might be the weather. You know I get a little iffy around this time of year,”

He hesitantly accepted your reason, knowing it was true, just usually happened later in the year. He shrugged his jacket off, placing it on your shoulders. “Well, keep this on until we reach your place, I don't want you actually getting sick,”

❀2:07PM, YOUR APARTMENT

Sitting on your bed, your eyebrows scrunched up before you sighed. Just, what was happening to you? Coughing up flowers– that's something out of a storybook, not real life.

Your heart fluttered when you thought about Wonwoo, but why. Why was your heart doing this, why, why, why. Wonwoo was so sweet to you, that's why, you reasoned. Right? You…didn't like him, did you? You couldn't.

You started coughing, again. Running to the bathroom, you knelt over the toilet.

❀2:34PM

Kimi sang. “Your favorite dancer is home~”

Kimi stepped into the kitchen, dropping her bag into the floor, before calling your name. “Hellooo?”

Silence filled the apartment, which left Kimi worried. Walking through the hallway, Kimi knocked on your bedroom door, opening it when no noise happened. Nothing.

“What the…” Kimi muttered. “Ugh, where’d I put my phone… dance practice you thot!”

Dragging herself back to the kitchen, she shuffled through their duffel bag. Calling your phone, rings came from the bathroom. Making her way to the bathroom, Kimi barged in. There you were, in all your shitty, sweaty glory was you, throwing up into the toilet.

“Fuck!” Kimi dropped to her knees, rubbing your back. “You should’ve told us you were sick. One of us would’ve stayed home for you,”

You whined. “Kimi… it’s fine both of you were busy, I couldn’t let you guys stay home. Besides, this happened during class.”

“The one you have with Wonwoo?”

Nodding, you straightened. “Mm… he brought me home,”

“What happened?”

“I… um… started coughing up flower petals…” You muttered.

“You what?”

Sighing, you reached your hand into your pockets and brought out the bloody flower petals.

“What the– Why are they bloody!?”

“I started coughing these up,” You started to explain. “Look, they’re in the toilet bowl too. I… I asked Sayu, before I went into the bathroom, she said they were bittersweet or something like that…”

“You should go to the ER! Or at least the doctor– you don’t know what this is,”

“I will, I will. I was going to call her after this whole…fit,”

❀DAY 6, FRIDAY 1:15PM, SEOUL DOCTOR

“So, what’s the reason for this appointment?” Doctor Kim asked, checking the files in hand.

“Um…so the other day, Wednesday, I uh… started coughing flower petals,” You explained, pulling the petals out. “They were um, bloody.”

Clicking her tongue, Doctor Kim examined a petal. “Oh dear…I see,”

“Why’d it happened? How’d it even get in my body?”

Doctor Kim sighed, pulling up an article on the computer in the room. “I’m afraid there’s not much research on this. I’ve never personally seen it but I know doctors who have diagnosed it. We’re calling it hanahaki, from the Japanese words 花 and 吐く, flower and to vomit. We’ve noticed that it’s from unrequited love,” she glanced at you and then the flower petals, “Do you…do you love someone? Do you believe they don’t love you back?”

You played with your hair, suddenly the floor looking interesting. “Um…I…I guess,”

“You guess?”

“I do. I…kinda just realized it and then spiraled for a little. On Wednesday, when I first coughed them up.”

“I see. I’m going to give you options and I will definitely push you towards a specific one. But I want you to know that it is entirely up to you, what you want to do,” sighing, she leaned onto her knees. “You could confess, and if your feelings get reciprocated the flowers will leave your body through a few days. If they don’t, then your lungs will grow with flowers faster and you’ll suffocate. If you do, come to the ER immediately.

“The last option is surgery, we remove the flowers and any roots in your lungs. But it’s a complicated surgery, and if successful you lose all memories of said person and you’ll never feel anything for them ever again. It’s a last resort for a reason, and if you even think they return your feelings, confess. I mean it, you need to confess.”

❀DAY 8, SUNDAY 11:37AM, YOUR ROOM

Laying on your bed, you pulled your blankets over your shoulders, tucking yourself in. Getting up seemed to take up so much more energy these days, it was so much effort, effort you couldn't seem to put in.

Your phone rang, and you left it. It stopped for a few seconds before ringing again. You sighed as it stopped again. It pinged a few times, two followed by one more before your phone silenced. You couldn't bring yourself to check, even though you knew it was Wonwoo, you set his notifications to have a special ringer. You were just… tired.

Nonu ❙

Hey, are you okay?

??? Hello??? You always answer, are you sick??

??? I’m coming over.

❀12:42PM

Wonwoo knocked on your door, before opening it. Seeing you still tucked into your bed confused him.

“I know I've asked this a couple times, but are you okay?” He sat on your bed, patting your leg. “Hello? Have you not woken up just yet?”

You hummed lightly. “No…I’m tired,”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to be alone? You seem…well tired,”

You hummed again. He couldn't tell what you were feeling, facing away from him and barely saying anything.

“I’ll go, but I hope you feel better. I’ll get Mai and Kimi to take care of you,”

❀DAY 10, TUESDAY 11:23AM

Knocking on the door, Mai entered the room after a beat.

“You haven’t woken up yet?” She questioned, sitting on the bed. “You ok? I haven’t seen you wake up later than 9 since we were high schoolers,”

“Maiiii,” You whined. “I’m so TIRED, I can't even explain why!”

“The petals?”

“Of course, it's the– How do you know about them?”

He shrugged. “Kimi told me a little, sorry.”

“It's fine. I mean, you would've found out anyways,”

“Yeah, I would've. What happened, like why are they a thing? Kimi only mumbled something about petals and blood and purple– good color by the way,”

“I mean, the doctor said it's this stupid thing called hanahaki–”

“Like, hana as in 花, as in flower?”

“Uh, I think– STOP you're distracting me!” You jumped out from the covers.

“Yeah, but that got you out of bed. That was the goal~”

“You are the worst,”

Pulling you by the hands, Mai led you to the dining room.

“Our zombie lives!” cheered Kimi.

Flipping Kimi off, you pried yourself from Mai’s arms. “What was that for? I was gonna get out of bed eventually, it's only–”

“Only 11:23!” Kimi cut her off. “You are two hours late youngster!”

“To what?”

“To civilization! You have never–”

“Once woken up after 9, yes I am aware,”

“So you are aware we were worried, right?” Kimi huffed. “Now, eat! You are a growing child, no child of mine will starve!”

“I'm 20. We are the same age,”

“And,” Mai cut in. “I'm 21. I say you eat and get yourself freshened up. We are having a roommates day out,”

“What happened to my childhood friend,” you sulked.

“She has gone nowhere, I have always been your mother,” Mai chided. “Now eat, you actually look like a zombie,”

❀12:15PM, HALF MOON CAFE

“So, young child of mine,” Kimi started, placing the group’s order down. “Why have you been coughing up a storm, and why are there bloody flowers everywhere? You only mumbled something about them, and I want to know why!”

The three of them were in a small cafe they frequented often, mainly due to your part-time job there.

“Still can’t believe you guys got me here on my day off,” you sighed, playing with your drink. “It’s nothing. I already went to a doctor, she said it was ‘Hanahaki’ or something,”

“Hana as–”

“Yes hana as in 花, as in flower. Why did you both ask the same question?”

“I needed clarification,” Kimi shrugged. “But like, what’s the haki part? Like what even is hanahaki?”

“The haki is 吐く, like to vomit,”

“It’s a disease where flowers grow in your- in your lungs?!” Mai read from his phone, head whipping to you. “And you could die?”

“Not so loud– lord why did we go here,”

“I’m sorry– you’re upset I’m being loud? You could die, do not tell me to be quiet?”

You sighed, “Look, this is why I didn’t want to tell anyone! They get all dramatic, it’s not a big deal. It’s due to unrequited love, so all I have to do is unfall in love.”

“Uh, speaking as the person who’s in a committed relationship,” Kimi injected. “Impossibly hard. Like, I’m talking insanely hard. I mean–”

“We get it,” Mai said, cupping her face. “Look, it even took me a while to get over my first ex, and he stalked me! I’m with Kimi, there are easier ways to do this.”

“Except there’s not! It's either I unfall in love, confess, or get surgery! And, mind you, that surgery will remove all my memories of said person and remove all my feelings. It’s not like I can do that. I can’t lose someone I’m in love with– and I can’t lose my feelings! How am I supposed to live without being happy, or sad, or–”

“Then confess! They’ll reciprocate them, I’m sure.” Mai held your hands. “Please, I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you, you’re too important to us.”

“I am not confessing–”

“Confessing?” A voice cut in, Wonwoo. “Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”

“Wonwoo! No, no! I haven’t been avoiding you, I’ve–”

“Been busy.” He rolled his eyes. “Look, if this was over some guy, you could've told me. I would've gotten it and backed off,”

You stood up. “It is not! Look, we went over schedules– we were both booked! You cannot say I have been ignoring you,”

“Does that mean you can’t answer my texts? Or calls?” He argued, walking away from you and out of the cafe.

“Oh don’t act like you don’t do the same to me. How come you’re acting like I’m doing it on purpose!” You followed.

“I haven’t ghosted you, never for days on end!”

“Oh sure,” You stopped and rolled your eyes. “I’m not arguing about this, not in public,”

“Oh so you’re running away, like always?” Wonwoo turnt around. “Like you always do when something happens, like the coward you are?”

Your eyes watered as you stumbled back like you were struck. “Fine! Yes, I’m running away, just like you said! Just like I always have, according to you, but don’t you dare try to come talk to me.”

❀DAY 13, FRIDAY 7:37PM, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL’S APARTMENT

You and Kimi walked into Seungcheol’s party, being eagerly greeted by Kim Mingyu.

He cheered both of your names. “Let me get you drinks, come in! I’m not allowed to help you with your coats, Cheol is worried about me breaking something again.”

Laughing, Kimi pat him on the arm. “It’s fine! I’m here to be sober, drunk watch and all that,”

“Mai forced her to be my babysitter,” You sulked. “Like I’m gonna get drunk off my ass or something…”

Mingyu and Kimi gave each other a knowing look. Like you hadn't been upset since the fight. Kimi pushed you further into the house, hearing the chatter of the others. Mai and Kimi figured it was best to get you to talk to someone, and what better way than to get her drunk with friends?

❀11:34PM

Bad idea. Mai and Kimi both forgot one important thing about a drunk you. You were an emotional drunk. Meaning, right now? You were sobbing your ass off, drunk, over Wonwoo.

Kimi could barely understand you because you were muffled by–

“Fuck,” Kimi muttered, launching herself towards you. “Spit them out, I fucking mean it you drunk fuck. Spit. Them. Out.”

You listened. Saliva and blood covered petals fell into Kimi’s hand. You fell into Kimi’s arms, still sobbing.

“He hates me Kimi! He does. He hasn't talked to me in 3 days! The longest we’ve gone is probably around a couple hours! Never this long,”

Kimi sighed, petting your hair. It pained them all to see her like this.

“He doesn't hate you, yknow,” Mingyu said, also patting you on the back. “He’s just upset right now. He’s probably also crying right now,”

“I don't want him crying over me!” You sobbed even harder.

Seungkwan hit Mingyu away, clicking his tongue. “Ignore him, Mingyu’s dumb. We know this. Wonwoo’s upset, but he’s not crying. He's probably thinking about what happened and trying to figure out how to apologize to you,”

“But he doesn't have to apologize, I was the one being a bitch!”

“All of you leave her alone,” Jeonghan swatted everyone besides Kimi. “Sweetheart, honey, drink this,”

He handed you a cup of water, urging you to drink. You tried to drink it, but instead a full flower came out of her mouth.

“FUCK,” Kimi shouted. “Fuck fuck- where’s their phone? Hurry one of you, give it to me!”

Kimi dialed your doctor, explaining that you had actually coughed up a flower. “C’mon hun, c’mon. Get up, we have to visit someone,”

“What's happening?” Mingyu questioned. “Kimi– what was that? Why did a flower come out of their mouth? Kimi?”

“Don't, don't worry. Just call Mai for me, tell her we're at the hospital. She’ll know why,” Kimi explained. “Sorry to bring the mood down,”

“Don't be. Now go, go! It seems urgent,” Cheol pushed the two of you out of the apartment.

❀11:48PM, SEOUL HOSPITAL

Your doctor sighed, closing the door behind her and facing Kimi and Mai. “I’m to assume you two are their roommates, meaning they told one of you at least a little?”

“Uhm, yeah,” Kimi fidgeted. “She told me a little, just like, uh she was coughing flowers cuz of something called hanahaki? Uhm.. and that it was a disease caused by–”

“Unrequited love, yes. However, that’s not something we’re entirely sure about,”

“What do you mean, not entirely sure about? Did you tell her something incorrect about a disease that could kill her!?” Mai shouted.

“Yes and no,” Doctor Kim sighed. “Look, ladies, hanahaki is rare– we’re not sure about everything. But, there's a theory, that I have personally searched into, that it’s not unrequited love. More like, insecurity in the afflicted. The flowers, do you know what they are and what they mean?”

“Oh! Uhm, I think I remember our friend saying they were bittersweet? And that they meant truth? Truthfulness?”

“Then, there. They likely need to tell the truth, if the theory holds up. Either way though, one of you should get whoever they’re crushing, or in love with, here as soon as you can. I will make an exception for you three, and only you three, to be here after hours if they have not gained consciousness. The other should stay with them. I don't want any surprises,”

❀11:57PM

“Where are they!?” Wonwoo bursted into the hospital lobby.

Ignoring the onlooking staff, he went straight towards Mai.

“Mai, you cannot call me, say my best friend is in the hospital, and then not give me context,” he said, holding the dead tired girl by the shoulders.

“You hung up on me right after I said they were here! I’m not calling you back and getting you into an accident– we do not need that! Now, come. I'll bring you to them, your job is to get them to actually tell you the truth. I don't care what it takes, they have to.”

Leading the barely taller man, Mai opened the door to your hospital room. Pulling Kimi out, Mai quickly pat you on the head with a quiet, “Confess,”

“Wonu?” You croaked.

“Hey,” He sat on the edge of her bed. “What happened? Why are you here– why have you been avoiding me? I thought we told each other everything,”

He looks heartbroken, you thought, heart clenching at it. “It- it wasn't your fault, Wonu. I just- if I told you, I’d lose you. I can’t do that,”

“But you're here, in a hospital. Mai said you could die. Why do you think I can live without you?”

“I-”

“Please. You’re my best friend, I can’t lose you,”

Bursting into tears, you sobbed. “Exactly! I’m your best friend, that's all I’ll ever be! Wonwoo, have you ever thought I wanted to be more than friends with you?”

“Wh–”

“It’s you, it has always been you! I just had a shitty way of finding out, and now I’m dying! I don't want to die. I want to live out my life with you, and Mai, and Kimi, and and just– everyone! But if I get the surgery I lose my best friend– the love of my life! It's either I lose you by confessing, or I lose you by forgetting you, or I lose everyone by dying! I don't want this–”

“Hey, hey,” Wonwoo wiped the tears from your face. “Who said you’d ever lose me? Remember, I will always be here for you. Always. Besides, I’ve loved you ‘since forever’. You have nothing to fear,”

Your eyes overflowed with tears, and your mouth, flowers. Calling a doctor, Wonwoo was quickly kicked from the room. Worried, he quickly walked to the lobby.

“Wonwoo!” Kimi exclaimed, bouncing anxiously towards him. “Where- where are they? Why are you out here?”

“Well, I got kicked out. We confessed but then they started coughing again and–”

“You finally confessed? Like, for real none of that ‘I love you, as a friend’ bullshit?”

“Yes– why is that what you're focusing on? They started coughing flowers again, Kimi,”

“I know, I know, but I’ve been waiting for this since I met you two. That was our first year of high school!”

“Stop fighting you two,” Mai butt in. “What happened? Why are you out here?”

❀DAY 14, SATURDAY 12:21AM

After explaining everything, the three of them went to hunt Doctor Kim down. Meaning, they were waiting outside of your room.

Walking out of your room, Doctor Kim turnt around and jumped. “Oh, you three scared me. Sorry, sorry. I should’ve told you to go home. But, they're fine. They’re resting now, you can visit when the hospital opens up again and you can see them then,”

“We can’t leave her!” Kimi whisper shouted, still aware of the fact that you were likely sleeping.

“No, you can’t but you will. I understand you’re scared about them, but they’ll be fine. They’ll have to stay here for another few days, but it’s just so we can monitor them. You can visit, but only during visiting hours. Now shoo, you are college students here on a Saturday,”

❀1:19PM, YOUR HOSPITAL ROOM

Wonwoo walked into the room, with a bouquet of aster flowers. Chuckling Wonwoo put them on the bedside table.

“Sorry, I know it’s a little soon,” Wonwoo sat. “but I asked your friend, um, Sayu? She said you thought they were pretty, the flowers, that is. Aster, she called them.”

You laughed softly. “It’s ok Wonu, they’re lovely. I love them, thank you,”

He smiled. “I’m glad. I know we only just established everything but I want to ask, can I be your boyfriend?”

You laughed, and Wonwoo pouted at that. “Sorry, sorry I’m not laughing at you. Never at you. Yes, of course you can be my boyfriend. Why’d I ever say no, I don’t know.”

THE END<3

#seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen #svt fluff #svt scenarios #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt angst #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo scenarios #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo angst #jeon wonwoo fluff #jeon wonwoo scenarios #jeon wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo imagines #jeon wonwoo angst

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The Unusual

   A/N- In my opinion, this was the best smut I’ve ever written and I hope you like it too :) We are such a simp for Ellie Williams ya’ll :)  You also can send me requests, don’t be shy <3 I’m sorry If there are any grammar mistakes, I’ll try to come back and correct them.

   Warnings- SMUT, Modern!Ellie, drink of alcohol, fingering, dirty talking.

   Request from- Anonymous

   Summary- After their meeting at the bar, what is usual for Reader and Ellie gets boring after a while and they decide to do something a little unusual.

   A blinding light from the window shone into the room where you slept. The pain between your legs was enough to bother you more than ever, but you laid still and let the morning sun hit your face. You turned your head in that direction with the rustle coming from your side and you couldn't help your grin both because you saw the person you saw and because you remembered that wonderful moment you had last night.

         A WEEK AGO

   Again, when you went to the bar you always go to, this time there was a little movement in it. In this place where you went to clear your mind, you met a lot of people and learned more stories than you wanted to know. Sometimes you had to choose between many people, but you could not find the right one for you.   Could such a thing have happened that day?

  When you entered the bar, you laughed inwardly as the familiar smell hit your nose. Maybe it was a little silly, but everyone had different ways of distracting them. Yours wasn't a one night stand. You had never even tried this. You thought the important thing was to find someone you could feel safe with.

  You stood in the bar chair to get a drink, stood out from the crowd, and looked around as you couldn't quite decide what you wanted to get. Everyone was having their own fun. When you looked a little more carefully, you saw that no one came here alone. You would give anything to come with your friends, but they had more important things to do. At least that's what they told you.

 “Hey. Ready to order yet? “Y ou turned your head towards the sound and you were almost speechless by that perfect face you saw. Your hands tangled, and you accidentally knocked the finished glass which the man beside you had. You silently cursed yourself. The red-haired girl laughed at you. You looked at her and saw that she was busy cleaning the glass in her hand. You laughed embarrassingly and decided to have your usual drink so you wouldn't keep her waiting any longer.

 " What. Uhm the usual, please? “ There was a problem that this girl had just started a job here and she didn't know what drink you were talking about. She frowned, but didn't seem to mind at all, as she immediately grinned and leaned over the table. “What about I give you my usual?”  You nodded your head and watched in surprise as she took the drink . You have never seen a girl as attractive as this girl in all your life.

  She placed the drink in front of you and, winking at you, moved to the side to take her next customer's order. When you looked at the drink, it was clear that you were not going to spend the night alone anymore. The girl, who hadn't even told you her name yet, looked at you from time to time, checking how you got the drink out of the corner of her eye. When you caught her staring at you, she smiled shyly with her perfect dimple and went back to her work. Your night was going to be great. You were sure of that.

     LAST NIGHT

   You tried to go to the bar almost every day after meeting the red-haired girl, but all this college stuff was throwing you off. It was getting harder for you to do the assignment given to you without being sober, but luckily, you somehow finished them all, or rather you had them done, and the only thing left was that you owed a meal to the people you had them do. It wasn't much of a problem either, you weren't really interested in school anyway. If there' was one thing you were really into right then, it was that bartender whose name you finally learned. Ellie.

   You had a more than good relationship with Ellie. After the bar closed, you or she were always so busy telling each other things that you didn't even know how the time passed. Sometimes one of you said something embarrassing and you blushed up your ass, but you got used to it. Ellie was a really nice person. Although what he's been through isn't very good. You loved her. You actually thought there was something more than something. Maybe love?

  You drank as you spoke , even drank to the hilt, and didn't hesitate to do silly things. It's like you were made for each other. The way Ellie looked at you in those eyes was so deep, longing and eager that you couldn't help yourself. She had no intention of keeping it to her either.

 That evening, you happily entered the bar again, with the comfort of finishing your homework. Before you walk right in, you take a look at yourself in the mirror and rejoice at how sexy you look. Impressing Ellie was easier than you thought.   It had already been so easy for her to influence you, which was an indisputable issue. Since the moment you saw the girl, or rather every time you saw her, your palms were sweating madly and you were trying hard not to jump on her.

  Sensual and insane.

  You quickened your steps towards where she was, but it wasn't that easy from the people dancing around you. You wanted to go to her right away and explain why you didn't come yesterday. You sat down on the chair in disappointment when you looked to the side where she always stood and saw that she wasn't even there, that there was no one in her place. However, you wanted this evening to be different from other evenings. You looked around with hope.

  "Lookin' for me, babe? “ Your eyes widened at her voice and you almost jumped on her, but that was not possible because of the table in front of you. If you had done something like that, you would probably have gone to the ground with embarrassment. “ Where were you? “ He shrugged his shoulders and waved her hand as saying never mind.

   “ Usual? “ “ Yeah, but your usual. I- I want yours. “ She nodded and quickly prepared the drink and placed it in front of you. This attraction between you was driving you crazy, you wanted it more and more each time. You wanted to explain yourself. “ I had some work to do yesterday, so- “ “ It's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me.” 

  You took a sip of your drink and nodded at her understanding. You didn't even know exactly what was going on between you guys, and what was this willingness to explain yourself? You may have been nothing more than a friend to her, but at the same time, it didn't feel that way at all. Maybe you were having such thoughts in your head. You couldn't even taste the drink you were drinking properly anymore because of the tingling in your stomach. With a grimace, you pushed the drink away from you. “Hey. What- what about doing something different tonight? I mean If you want to. “ She smiled and nodded as her beautiful dimples came out.

  “Yeah, of course babe. “ You were used to her calling you babe, it didn't seem like anything different anymore. She started saying this word the day after you met, but each time it aroused different feelings in you. It's like the pain you feel in your lower side. Every time you tried to ignore it,  was difficult as Ellie talked or touched somewhere on you. You didn't want this night to be the usual. You wanted tonight to be different.

  “ Well, let's not drink the usual one then If we're doing the different things.”

 In a sexy stride that makes you feel like it's slow motion ,she leaned in front of the table, leaned close to your ear, and in a sexy voice, she said "Let our bodies talk If we're doing the unusual, baby. " . She bit your earlobe without pulling back. You shuddered and your eyes opened wide at what he said. That's when you realized that your feelings were not reciprocated. You were happy about this and with the excitement and some joy inside you started to wait for the closing of the bar with excitement.

  After a few hours of waiting, it was finally the closing time of the bar and almost everyone had left. Ellie had taken you and herself to her apartment above the bar to change, and you were watching her take off her clothes on the edge of her bed. She was moving slowly again, but you couldn't really stand it anymore.   The pain under you was growing more and more, it was making you squirm badly.

 Just as she was taking off her pants, you jumped on her and quickly pushed her onto the bed. You pulled off the trousers that she had taken off in half and took them off her feet and immediately started to take off your own top. She put her hands on top of your, tooking off your shirt, tossed it aside to be not found in the morning. Her eyes lit up when she saw your breasts overflowing from the edge of your bra. She lifted her head from the bed and  sucked on there, turning you into a whirlwind with little kisses. “ Fuck baby you're so fuckin' beautiful and you're mine, right? “ You nooded your head and kissed her as you leaned down on her and moaned to her lips. Your kiss was soft but sensual. It was almost unbearable, and you both knew it.

 “ I want to fuck you, Ellie. “ “You and me both , babygirl. “ You groaned against her word. You split both of Ellie's legs, kissing both of them separately before coming to her clit. It was like she was writhing on you. You are satisfied. You quickly peeled off her panties from her leg and buried your mouth there in no time. “Fuck, baby your mouth. Fuck it's so good. “ She ran her fingers through your hair and made you press yourself against her. You pulled your mouth out of there and spit on your fingers and stuck two fingers in her hole without practice.    Although she cried out in pain, she got used to it later and this time she started to moan with pleasure.

  “Y/N, I don't wanna come yet. Please let me fuck you too. “ Without raising your mouth too much, you said ” Me first, Ellie. I want to devour you. You're so tasty. “

 “ I want to know how you taste too, baby. Please. “ You groaned and let her lay you on your back.

  You can't remember when you got so undressed and came close to having an orgasm, but the best orgasm of your life was about to await you.

   She sat with her legs spread out and took you in her lap. You brought your hands to her beautiful little face and deepened your kiss. You took your place by her leg and started rubbing yourself on her. “Yes babygirl, keep goin'. Good girl. “   Saying these things only made you go faster. Her leg was terribly wet, but she didn’t even care.

  When she least expected it, you stuck your fingers in her hole as you continued to kiss her. She groaned and thrust her hips against your fingers, which also made your leg wobble, making it even easier for you to rub. You were so close. Your moans and pleasure screams filled the room.

   “Fuck baby. Yess. Come on. Cum for me. “

   “Ellie!” you shouted, mixed with a moan. “I can't no more. “

   “I know baby. Cu-Cum for me. “

  After that, you both came convulsively. Your legs were sore and cramped from too much rubbing. Ellie had already thrown herself  into bed and she was out of breath. You laughed and got on top of her. After placing one last small kiss on her lips, you wrapped your arms around each other and surrendered yourself to sleep.

#the last of us remake #the last of us part 2 #the last of us imagine #ellie williams #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie williams fanfic #ellie the last of us #tlou #tlou part 2 #tlou part ii #tlou modern au #modern au #smut #tlou remake #joel miller #joel miller x reader #request #joel x reader #joel x you #ellie x dina #tlou imagine #tlou fanfic #tlou fanfiction #x reader

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 3, Chapter 7

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness?

Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 3 (maybe 4??) parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

————–

PART 3

Chapter 7

Matt was drunk.

It wasn’t a state of being that he enjoyed. And it definitely wasn’t one he found himself in often - he relied on his senses and reflexes too much to dull them with alcohol. But some situations in life called for the oblivion of being shit-faced. Like bonding with your new best friend in college. Celebrating passing the Bar.

And finding out the woman you love is a lying murderer. 

Matt downed the liquor in his glass - no longer feeling the burn as it slid down his throat - and motioned the bartender for another.

“You sure that’s a good idea?” The voice came from behind him, the dry, mocking monotone instantly recognisable.

Jessica Jones.

“Whatta you doing here?” he asked, as she took the stool next to him.

“I should be asking you that. This is my regular joint, not yours.” To prove her point, she nodded to the bartender, who immediately plucked a bottle of Jack Daniels from the shelf and placed it in front of her. “Thanks, Diego.”

Matt snatched the bottle and poured a fifth into his own glass.

Jessica quickly grabbed it back. “You’re lucky I’m in a generous mood, Murdock, otherwise I would have smashed this over your head.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” Matt muttered.

Jessica laughed. “No. I have a thing against picking on pathetic, sad-sack lawyers when they’re drowning their sorrows.”

“Everyone’s gotta have principles.” Matt meant it as a joke, but the words just served to remind him of why everything had gone so wrong tonight.

“You wanna talk about it?” Jessica asked, her voice uncharacteristically kind.

Matt scrubbed a hand over his face. The move dislodged his glasses, so he yanked them off and dropped them on the bar in front of him. He’d gone straight home after the confrontation with Calina, knowing that he wasn’t in the right headspace to be out as Daredevil. He’d shoved on his sweats then started pacing his apartment, too wound up to relax.

That’s when he’d realised he needed a drink. He needed to blunt all the anger and the pain and the misery he was feeling before it drove him to do something reckless. Something violent.

Like storm that warehouse in Jersey and beat every living soul in it to pieces.

So he’d found himself here instead, in this half-deserted, dreary, run-down bar. Which was apparently Jessica Jones’ favourite hang-out.

That fit.

“Matt?” she prompted. “Is there something I should know about? Are you here getting smashed because the world is going to end thanks to a shady multinational cabal of evil immortals? Again.”

“No. The world’s not ending. Just my relationship.” Matt shook his head. “Maybe.”

He wasn’t sure where he stood with Calina now. Was there hope for them? Could they salvage what they used to have with this difference of opinion hanging over them?

Matt laughed to himself. The phrase ‘difference of opinion’ was doing a lot of heavy lifting - they didn’t disagree on furniture layout, or whether pineapple belonged on pizza. They disagreed on the very sanctity of life. On the fundamental issue right and wrong.

Could they ever get passed that?

“You and Calina?” Jessica guessed.

“Yeah.”

“Well. Fuck.”

Matt laughed again. “Yeah. Fuck.”

“What happened?”

“She’s a murderous lying liar. The usual.”

Jessica reeled back. “What are you talking about? She seemed so…nice.”

Matt laughed. “She is nice. She’s really nice. And kind, and generous, and smart, and funny. And she smells so fucking good. But she’s also a trained assassin.”

“Are you serious?” Jessica whispered, leaning close so the few other patrons scattered around the bar couldn’t hear. “Did you just find out?”

Matt swirled the dregs of the alcohol in his glass. “No. I’ve known for a while. She’s a Black Widow - trying to go straight. But her former boss is after her, so she’s…taking care of it.”

Part of Matt knew that he shouldn’t be revealing all of Calina’s secrets like this. But another part of him knew that he could trust Jessica - she’d kept his secret all this time, after all.

Besides, he needed to talk to someone about this. He needed to lay out his argument and hear from someone else that he wasn’t over-reacting. That he wasn’t being overly judgemental.

That his goddam principles hadn’t fucked things up for no reason.

Jessica glanced around the room again. Then she grabbed Matt’s arm and pulled him to his feet. “I think we need some privacy for this. Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

Matt stumbled out of the bar, grateful for Jessica’s strong grip as she guided him back to his apartment. They were quiet as they walked, and Matt used the time to try to sober up - he wanted to be more lucid when he pled his case.

So he breathed deeply, turned his face into the wind, and let the crisp night air shock his system. And when they arrived back at his place he went straight for the coffee machine in the corner of the kitchen. “You want some?” he asked his guest.

Jessica pulled a flask from her jacket pocket. “I’ll stick to this - I’m not a light-weight like you.”

Matt rolled his eyes and finished fixing his drink. Then he collapsed onto the sofa and took a large sip, ignoring the burn to his tongue.

Jessica took the seat opposite. She leaned forward, hands dangling between her spread legs. “Okay, Murdock. Talk.”

Matt took another drink…and did just that. He explained how he'd discovered Calina’s secret. The nature of the Widow program and the Red Room. The mind control. Calina’s escape from that life and the current situation with Volkov.

Everything.

As he finally got to their fight tonight, Matt’s anger re-ignited. He stood up and started pacing the living room. “Now she’s dead set on this plan to murder a man in cold blood! And she expects me to just stand by and let it happen!”

“Wow,” Jessica said, following his movements

“I know!”

“You’ve really got a stick up your ass about not killing people the people who need killing.”

“That’s what you took from that?”

She just shrugged.

“And nobody needs killing,” Matt added coming to a stop. He rested his fists on his hips as he stared down at the woman opposite.

Jessica screwed the cap back on her flask and stowed it back in her jacket, her movements slow and deliberate. Then she stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, pinning him with a stare. “Some people do.”

Matt paused, thrown by the change in her demeanour. Her mocking indifference had mutated into complete seriousness. And that’s when he realised, “You’re talking about Kilgrave.” Matt remembered hearing about the incident that had turned Jessica Jones into a Hell’s Kitchen celebrity.

“That man ruined my life, Matt. He stole my body. My mind. And he used me in a hundred different ways. Which fucked me up in a hundred different ways. Ways that you’ll never understand. But Calina would. She knows what that feels like. Which means I know exactly where she’s coming from. I know exactly why she wants this Volkov guy dead. Some people just don’t deserve their time on this earth.”

“But it’s not up to us to decide that.”

“You decide it all the time.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Every time you spare someone, you’re making that decision. You’re deciding that they get to live. And potentially go on to harm others.”

Matt folded his arms. “The lack of action isn’t an action. Its only the act that is wrong.”

Jessica raised an eyebrow. “Says who? God? Because we don’t all believe in him, you know.”

“What about the law? Do you believe in that?”

“To a point. But you break the law all the time - when you deem it unjust.” She shrugged one shoulder. “A bit hypocritical if you ask me.”

Matt started pacing again, his movements less fevered than before. Jessica was making some of the same arguments as Calina…and they were starting to penetrate. But he still felt such a strong revolt in his soul at the thought of Calina killing people.

And lying to him about it.

And he couldn’t separate one from the other. He couldn’t figure out which sin was angering him the most.

And whether he could let either one of them go.

———

That anger stayed with him through the rest of the night. After Jessica left, and Matt was once again alone in his apartment, the burning fire in his gut kept him awake. And when he arrived at work, he couldn’t hide his mood from his partner.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Foggy yelled after Matt slammed down the phone on one of their clients. “Do I need to remind you that he’s one of the few people we represent who can actually pay us?”

“He’s a scumbag.”

“Yes. But he’s a scumbag with money. We can only afford all the pro bono work you love so much by occasionally putting up with assholes like Anderson.”

Matt shoved at his desk, the pile of papers on the edge toppling to the floor. “I’m so fucking sick of having to compromise like that.”

Foggy held up his hands. “Whoa, where is this coming from? What’s going on with you today?”

Matt raked his hands through his hair, then sighed. “Calina and I had a fight last night. A big one.”

Foggy shrugged. “So you’ll work it out. You always do.”

“I’m not so sure, Fog.” Matt sank back in his chair, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I found out some things,” he continued, explaining about the Widow’s plans for Volkov, and Calina’s body count since being free of the Red Room.

Retelling the story twice in 12 hours merely served to stoke the outrage within him. But Foggy seemed annoyingly unperturbed. “It didn’t occur to you that their plan involved killing these guys?” he asked. “C’mon, you’re not that naive, Matt.”

Matt picked up the pencil in front of him and started twirling it around, the fidgety action helping him focus as he thought through Foggy’s question. And he quickly came to a realisation. “I was in denial,” he said, shaking his head. “I forced myself not to think about it. Like that night when Calina was under the mind control - I always knew there was something off about her story, but I let it go. I didn’t want to pull at that thread because I was scared of what I would find. I just…I didn’t want to go through it all again, Foggy.”

“What do you mean?”

Matt paused. Then spat out a single word. “Elektra.”

Foggy groaned, “Matt-”

“You said so yourself,” Matt interrupted. “The two of them are so similar. And now I’m back to trying to convince the woman I love not to be a fucking murderer! I’m back in the exact same place!” The pencil in his hand snapped as he clenched his fist.

“This is not the same thing at all!”

“How is it different?” he yelled.

“Because Calina is a good person! Despite all the shit she’s been through, she’s a good person.”

“You barely know her, Fog”

“It doesn’t matter - because I can see the effect she has on you. Elektra brought out the darkness in you, but Calina brings out your light. I’ve never seen you like this with anyone before. These last six months, you’ve been like a different person. You’ve been…balanced. You’ve been happy!”

“Because I didn’t know who she really was!”

“That’s bullshit, Matt. Do you honestly believe she relishes killing people? That she gets off on it, like some psycho? Or is she just a woman trying to escape an unbelievably violent and abusive past who’s had to make some difficult choices?”

Matt leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk, then dropped his head into his hands. Of course, he didn’t think that Calina enjoyed killing, or sought it out. He just couldn’t explain why this was bothering him so much.

Foggy obviously couldn’t understand it either. Matt could sense him shaking his head as he looked at him from across the desk. “I don’t get it, Matt. I thought you’d become less…rigid…about this over the past year. Karen thought so too - that’s why she finally felt like she could tell you what happened between her and Wesley. And it didn’t affect your friendship, did it? You didn’t think less of her because of what she did?”

“No,” Matt admitted, clenching fistfuls of his hair.

“And Jessica Jones. You’re friends with her - as much as anyone can be friends with her - and she very publicly and famously killed someone.”

“I know,” he ground out.

“So what’s going on? Why is it so different with Calina?”

Matt suddenly exploded out of his chair. “Because she lied to me! She lied to me for months about killing a man 30 feet away from my apartment. And if I hadn’t asked about Volkvo she would have lied about that too. She lies so easily, its like breathing for her.”

Foggy cocked his head, and studied Matt for a few beats. “What bothers you more - the lying or the fact that you couldn’t tell?”

“Why does that matter?”

“The majority of the human race isn’t a walking lie-detector like you, Matt. We have to live with never knowing if someone is telling the truth. We have to take what people say on faith. I thought a good Catholic like you would be more used to that.”

“Get to the point,” Matt said, through gritted teeth.

“The point is, it seems you’re blaming her as much for her ability to lie, as the lies themselves. And its not exactly her fault that she can lie so well - its the way she was trained.”

“But she still lied, Foggy.”

“I know. And you have a right to be angry about that. You just need to decide if you can forgive her. And whether you can trust her going forward - without the crutch of bring able to monitor her heart rate or whatever it is you do to pick up lies. Do you think that’s possible?”

Matt closed his eyes and hung his head, his anger dissipating. It had been nothing more than a smoke screen, really. A distraction from what he’d really been feeling:

Fear.

Because he didn’t know if he could trust Calina ever again.

And he was terrified of what that meant for them.

———

Matt’s fist hit the leather punching bag with a satisfying slap.

The impact on his bare knuckles was just the kind of pain he was looking for, and he relished the sting from his split skin as he hit the bag again. And again. And again.

Then he kicked it, hard enough to send it swinging away from him, and followed up with a fierce one-two jab. He bounced lightly on his feet, sparring with the inanimate object, whilst trying with every bit of his strength to ignore the scent swirling in the air around him.

He’d arrived at Fogwell’s an hour ago, after Foggy had kicked him out of the office. Apparently, he was too much of a liability to the firm in his ‘current emotional state’. In other words, Foggy didn’t want him jeopardising another one of their revenue streams.

So he’d headed straight for the gym, knowing that his mind always worked through a problem best  when he was in motion. Even better when he was hitting something. But, unfortunately, the moment he’d entered the old building, Calina’s lingering fragrance had hit him.

Which did nothing to improve his thought processes…or his ‘emotional state’.

He’d tried to block it out as much as he could while he got changed and started his work-out, but after so many weeks living apart, his sensitivity to her - her smell, the sound of her voice, the cadence of her heart beat - had magnified. Like a cell phone searching for a signal in a black spot, a part of his mind had always been tuned to her, subconsciously seeking her out everywhere he went - in a crowd on the street; in the queue at the coffee shop; on his rooftop at night.

Which meant there was no escape from the torment of her phantom presence in this musty old gym.

Matt stepped away from the bag with a growl of frustration. It didn’t help that this was the site of their fight last night. He could still taste the adrenaline on the air. The angry, bitter words still seemed to echo off the walls.

He could still hear the sound of Calina’s footsteps as she walked away.

The argument replayed itself in his mind as he sat on the edge of the boxing ring, the sweat cooling on his skin.

And he kept coming back to one thing. A confession from Calina that had shocked him in the moment, but which he hadn’t fully processed until now:

“They strapped us down and ripped out our reproductive organs. Because we were just things to them. To men like Volkov, we were nothing.”

Matt scrubbed his hands over his face as the horrific words rang out in his mind. He’d seen some barbaric stuff over the years, acts of cruelty that had him questioning his faith in humanity and a higher power. But he’d never heard of anything so callously and brutally inhumane.

And the fact that it had happened to his Calina…it was unspeakably awful. He kept picturing her as a teenager, strapped to a gurney as she was violated in that way…

It made him sick. 

And it proved her point.

They did come from two very different worlds. And they had lived very different lives. Which meant he had no right to pass judgement on her actions. To question how she found justice or ensured her safety.

No right at all.

But did it change anything?

He’d already realised earlier today that her decision to kill Volkov and his men wasn’t the main issue they faced.

It was the lies.

Or more accurately, it was the lack of trust between them - on both sides. He couldn’t trust that she was telling him the truth. And she couldn’t trust him to handle her darker secrets.

Matt lay back on the floor of the ring, his head resting on a crooked arm, as he tried to work through his end of the problem.

Could he trust her? Without the crutch of his abilities, could he ever take what she said on faith again?

He just didn’t know.

He’d been burned too many times in the past by the people he loved. It had started as far back as he could remember with his Dad, and the lies about his mother. Then his mother had perpetuated those lies after he’d been taken in by the orphanage. Father Lantom had helped. Then there was Stick, and Elektra…

His ability to believe in people had been eroded, bit by bit, over decades. With each newly uncovered lie, with every sin of omission and act of betrayal, the last vestiges of his trust had been shaved away, until he was just a mass of jagged edges.

He’d thought those edges had finally started to smooth out thanks to Calina. He’d found himself opening up to her, letting himself be vulnerable.

Only to be betrayed again.

Could he forgive that and move on? Could he learn to trust her - fully and completely?

If not…what was the alternative?

Matt forced himself to imagine that alternative - a life without Calina. A future without her. No more warm presence in his apartment. No more talks over dinner. No more lazy evenings on the couch, his head in her lap while she read to him. No more sparring in the gym, or laughing beneath the sheets of his bed.

Her scent…gone. Her soft skin…gone. That feeling that he’d had almost from the moment they’d met, of a kindred spirit, someone who understood him, someone he could cherish and build a life with…all gone.

It was unbearable.

He rubbed at his chest, the thought of that emptiness, that loss, causing a physical pain deep in his soul.

What they had was too precious, too special to throw away so easily. He wanted to be with her. Despite her actions, he still loved her.

No, that wasn’t fair.

Her actions had shaped her into the woman he’d fallen in love with. He couldn’t dismiss them so easily.

And he did love her. He loved her bravery. He loved her mind, and her sweet, kind nature. He loved her loyalty to her sisters, and her off-beat humour, and her wide-eyed wonder at the world.

And, yes, he may have once held her on a pedestal - she was right to accuse him of that. But the plinth beneath her feet had crumbled…and he loved her still. Despite of it, and because of it.

And he didn’t want to lose her.

He would accept her decision regarding Volkov. And he would try like hell to trust her going forward. Because she didn’t deserve to bear the brunt of a lifetime of broken trust.

He need to get over it. If he had any hope of happiness, he needed to fucking get over it.

Matt quickly sat up and started rummaging through his gym bag for his phone. They needed to talk. It was time to really talk - not just argue and go around in circles. They needed to clear the air and get their relationship back on track. 

Because he couldn’t lose her.

It was as simple as that.

Finally locating the device, Matt dialled her number, and waited to hear her beautiful voice.

————–

Chapter 8

Tag list: @hollandorks @chezagnes @stilldreaming666 @yanna-banana @tearoseart-blog @acharliecoxedfan @freckledbabyyy

If you’d like to be added - let me know!

#daredevil #daredevil fic #tabula rasa #daredevil fanfic #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil x original female character #matt murdock #marvel's daredevil #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock x oc #daredevil fandom

[sisssygirl]

New Teacher - Dr Reid

A/N-this is my first time posting on here!! i usually posted on wattpad but I’ve stopped and i’ve decided to start writing on here!!(sorry for spelling mistakes)

Summary - You were 18 and in your last year at college. As the year came to an end you started to lack motivation and your grades started to drop. Today was a different. You had a new teacher who seemed to be a lot more eager than your last one..

Warnings - Dom reid / Smut / Age gap / Penetration / Pet names / Sir / Non contraception (be safe) / Fingering / Thigh riding

When you first started college nearly two years ago you loved it. New experience ,new subjects ,the lot. But as your coming close to the end of the final year things are starting to drag. Class is more boring and stress was increasing.

Especially criminology. Although you loved the subject your lecturer was the worst. He was that type of man to use his authority to make you feel as small as an ant but also the type to let his hands linger on you for a little too long.

Today was different though. You walked into the class ,dragging your heals anticipating a snarky comment directed towards you about the vest top you’re wearing showing your shoulders too much. But nothing. You shrugged and sat at your desk flinging your bag next to it. It was only you and around 2-3 clusters of people before a few more entered. It was usually pretty empty during first period as many people chose to not show.

Reaching down to grab your textbook before stopping in your tracks as you peer up to see a young man leaning back on the chair situated at the front of the class. ‘surly not’ you thought. You stared a little longer purely breath taken as he pushed his glasses up his long nose. His hair naturally curled around and behind his ears perfectly framing his jawline. You felt the salvia pool in your mouth before snapping out of your trance only to notice his eyes locked on yours. He expressed a small sweet smile before standing and writing ‘Dr Reid’ in big bold letters across the board. The class quietened down and took their seats ,still in awe. “So i’m Dr Reid. I’ll be filling in for your past lecturer who we had to… let go.” you’re thighs squeezed tight studying the slight rasp to his voice and the way his dark dress shirt hugged his broad yet skinny shoulders. You were again shaken from your trance and he let out a clap that ricocheted across the wall. He traveled back to his desk where he started his presentation about behavioural analysis.

Hours felt like minutes in his presence. You found it hard to focus on the wise words that left his mouth while your focus was fully on how his mouth moved. Your chin rested on your palm as your pen poked and prodded your bottom lip. Before you knew it class was over. A sigh of devastation left your lips as you began to pack up your stuff. You grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder before swiftly standing and spinning towards the door.

“Woah” you jumped back knocking into the corner of your desk nearly falling to the floor.

“Oh i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to startle you. It’s y/n right?” he said calm but almost startled himself.

“I- uh yeah. it’s okay. really” you replied forgetting how to speak as you peered down at his veiny hand wrapped around your wrist to stop you falling.

“I’ve been looking through your paper on the social disorganisation theory. and it really caught my interest” He explained “I wanted to see if we could explore some of your ideas together” He added his smile turning into a slight smirk he failed to conceal. He walked back over to his desk sitting back into his chair before pulling out your paper and clearing his throat.

“this question specifically” he pointed before looking back into your eyes. You bent down staring at the page only to see a short non-detailed paragraph. You gulped and looked back at him.

“I uh. I’m not sure” you glared down at your feet before seeing him turn the page to the next question with the same amount of effort put into it.

“Take a seat i want to look at the properly with you” you commanded. You scanned the area quick before he leant back in his chair and patted his thigh quickly. You were taken back, contemplating whether this was just some sort of joke before dropping your bag and placing your legs either side of his thigh. You felt his eye burn into the back of your body as he scanned from the top of your head down to where you ass sat next to his crotch. He leaned forward pressing his chest onto your shoulder blade before scanning the text in front of him.

“This really isn’t great ,y/n.” He said slightly turning his head until you could feel his breath in your neck. You hummed in response unsure of what to say as all your thoughts were consisted of the feeling of his hand slowly reaching round your waist to rest on your stomach holding you in place.

“what happened sweetheart. I saw your previous papers. they are all so good” Again you hummed and shrugged still unable to form enough words to answer.

“Is there anything i can do to help. At this rate i don’t see you passing at the end of the year.” He slightly bounced his leg making you shift on the spot landing you right on your heat. You gasped sharp. You could sense the smile creeping on his face knowing he had you right where he wanted you.

“Would you be open for some extra credit, sweetheart?” You nodded your head almost urgently in response. “you gotta use your words darlin’, i can tell that’s something we definitely need to work on” His lips centimetres ways from your neck causing shivers down your spine.

“Yes ,sir” You finally replied biting your lip as he brushed the tip of your nose down the side of his neck causing you hips to buck at the sudden sensation causing a wave of pleasure to flow through your body. When he reached down to your collar bone. he planted small gentle kisses down and back up to your neck where he sucked and grazed his teeth causing you to let out a whimper. You unconsciously started to grind forward and back in his thigh. You threw your head back resting it on his shoulder as he continued to trail dark purple marks around your throat. His hand began to wonder lower towards the button of your jeans. He lingered for a moment before you nod your head in response already knowing what he was asking. he slid his hand lower gracing the lace of your panties before proceeding lower. His slender fingers danced on the wet patch that seeped through the thin fabric before sliding under. His finger slipped between your hold gathering your slick before returning to gently circle around your aching clit.

“Someone’s wet.” he whispered in your ear only making the wetness worse. you began rocking your hips against his hand while he slowly pushed and finger into your entrance. You bit your lip trying to conceal any embarrassing sounds from leaving your mouth.

Without warning he shoved you from behind causing you to collapse forward onto the cold wooden desk. He wrapped his slender fingers around your waist band before yanking them toward your ankles leaving you in your pink panties that he was just exploring.

“May i?” he asked trailing his finger on the hem on your garments almost too polite for the current situation.

“Please sir” you whined out turning your head to see that his tie had been loosened and the top few buttons of his shirt had been undone exposing his sharp collar bone. He slid down your panties and slid them into his back pocket. You felt so vulnerable yet willing at the same time nearly pleading for his next move. You watched as he unzipped his trousers and released his cock nearly hitting his stomach. He bent down resting his head next to your head before kissing you passionately. Like glue to stuck to him. Never wanted to let go. You felt him prod and poke and your entrance before grasping it and gliding past your clit. You whined against his lips almost pleading him to stop teasing you. and with that he slowly slid it making you gasp and grip the edge of the desk. This didn’t stop his teasing. He kept at the agonisingly slow pace before standing back up to walk as he slid deep into you. You whined again the frustration growing as your body begged for pleasure. He laughed and bent down to your ear. “Tell me how much you want it”

You gulped. embarrassed at the thought of begging but that was soon flushed away as Dr Reid planted a slap against your ass cheek.

“Please sir. i’ll do anything. just please fuck me” And with that he pulled back and started thrusting at an inhumanly pace. He hands grasped your hips for dear life pulling you two together as you collided. The room echoed with moans and slapping definitely being heard from outside. He groaned and swing his head back closing his eyes tight. You were nearing your edge already as you clenched around him making him grit his teeth.

Suddenly he gripped under your thigh and lifted it so it was propped on the edge of the desk giving him a new unholy angle. You screamed as he hit your g-spot with every thrust. He lunged forward grasping a lock of you hair before pulling it making you lean against his chest.

“Come on princess. i know you can do it. Cum for me” That was enough to send you flying over the edge. constricting around his cock sending him into his climax and you fell back onto the desk. You were both left still and panting realising what has just happened. Reid grabbed some tissues from the corner of his desk before pulling out and watching his seed spill from your hole. He wiped it up before pulling your jeans back round your body and buttoning up his trousers. You spun around sitting on the edge of his desk in shock. Placing himself between your legs before attack your lips once more.

“I’d like to see you again y/n” He said between kisses

“here?” you replied

“No not here sweetheart. On date” Reid chuckled “i mean here too”

#dr reid #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #mgg #mgg x reader #fanfic #teacher crush

[my-castles-crumbling]

Swiftie Anon

Hi guys! I got an ask from an anon that might be triggering so I'm copy-pasting it here so I can put a 'read more' button. I'm naming them Swiftie Anon because they said Taylor really helped them.

TW: SH, SI

Hi Cas, hope you’re ok, because I sure as hell am not. Trigger warning, like mentions of self harm and stuff like that I think.

I’m a seventh grader and recently I’ve been thinking about killing myself a lot more than I usually do. During the pandemic I was in 3rd grade and I kinda realized how much life sucked, but when I went back to school in 5th grade, I realized that this hadn’t occurred to anyone else. I kind of brushed it off bc I’ve always been sort of a pessimist but then I sixth grade I started having suicidal thoughts, I think. I just felt really done with everything, I didn’t want to draw or read or write, and my parents were pissed all the time, it felt like my friends were bored of me (I have abandonment issues from all my friends in elementary school leaving me) (I think)and I thought it would just be easier to not exist anymore, it wasn’t that good. I discovered Taylor, the angel that she is, she just felt…like a friend, like she was right there, you know, and I’ve been mostly okay-ish since. But school fucking sucks and in 7th grade I had to do a presentation in front of my class and I started crying and hyperventilating, I couldn’t even stand up. I think I have anxiety idk. I’ve always been shy, and I’ve hyperventilated before when my parents were yelling at me about stuff and my arms started bleeding because I was digging my nails into them. My parents found out at conferences and I got grounded. my brother knows bc he walked in on me crying and hyperventilating once but he’s leaving for college next year and idk how the fuck I’ll stay together without him. My younger sister and I are really close, but I don’t want to drag her in onto this stuff. And ik once I get to high school it’ll be even worse bc high school sounds horrible and I might be all alone again bc I might not go to the same high school as my friends

I haven’t said a word about this to anyone voluntarily and I know I can’t tell my parents. I always lie on those surveys you get at the doctor, and my parents are always saying I should have a more positive outlook on life and try to be happier and it makes me so pissed bc I am trying as hard as I can to be happening but nothing fucking works.

idk what do with myself anymore, a teacher mentioned college today and I almost broke down sobbing bc I don’t think I’ll let myself live that long. It’s just…really hard and everyday feels like years. Should I tell someone? I’m not as bad as I was in 6th grade, but I know I should be getting help somehow. But I suck at asking for things and I can’t trust any adults.

sorry for the rant, I just need some advice. And a virtual, pat on the head or something, idk.

---

Hi hon!

First, (with your permission), I'm like to give you a virtual hug, because it sounds like you're dealing with a lot <3

I'm gonna be really real with you right now: You need to ask for some help. You have a lot going on, and some really heavy feelings, and you don't deserve to be dealing with them at ALL, let alone by yourself.

You're young, and you have SO MUCH life left to enjoy, and suffering through it like this isn't fair. So I'm going to share something about myself with you, okay?

When I was younger, I was very depressed. I was in a bad relationship and I felt very trapped, and I got to a point similar to you.

One day, I got so overwhelmed that I sort of realized that I either needed to ask for help or I would end up making a really bad decision. So, I asked for help.

Again, I'm going to be real: It was SUPER scary. I had to see a lot of doctors and I cried a lot. But after a lot of work, I was able to get better, and now, years later, I am in a (different) healthy relationship, and I have a job and a pet, and I'm here talking to you.

I know this sounds stupid because it's like some feel-good story and right now I'm sure you feel less than great. But I say this because you NEED to ask for help, even if it is difficult. Because there are real things past this feeling. A future job, a future relationship (if you want), a future pet, future kids (if you want). They're all very real and achievable and this feeling is temporary, even thought it feels so permanent right now.

So I'm going to give you some options, since it seems like you don't want to talk to your parents:

Talk to a doctor. Doctors are trained to help you, and they have a lot of resources.

Talk to a trusted teacher. Teachers can sometimes be amazing resources as well, and a lot of them want to listen when you ask to talk.

Talk to a different adult (aunt, uncle, coach, someone!) that you feel close to that will help.

Call/text/message a hotline. Here is an example of a hotline you can talk to via messaging, text, or phone, depending on what you prefer.

But you need to ask for help, because you DESERVE to be happy and living your best life.

It would make me super happy if you message/inboxed me an update, whether you're doing better, worse, or the same! I'm so proud of you for reaching out and I'm cheering you on!

#ask #asks #ask cas #tw: sh

[cafeshopau]

I’m sad about lone star not coming back until fall 2024 so to make myself feel better here are some things I’ve learned from working out of an EMS station for the last three months:

Also, this is only for NY. Every STATION is different let alone every city/state.

1. There is a house fund that you pretty much have to pay into every month (ours is $20). It goes to our snack drawer/birthday things/etc. Like, you could not pay in but you WOULD be side-eyed. Hard. There are usually separate less intense funds like for nice bathroom stuff.

2. In NY EMS is mostly separate from Fire. This is because EMS only recently came under FNDY. Until I think the 90s? EMS was a part of our city hospital system. So EMS has many separate stations from FDNY. And there is 100% a rivalry (possibly one sided)

3. Not a fun rivalry either…let’s just say EMS is incredibly diverse compared to Fire. And are payed like shit in comparison. And do more work. Anyway, I remember being shocked walking into orientation that first day.

4. Getting into FDNY is wild bc there is a waitlist and it could take YEARS for your name to come up. Like people fully have other careers while they wait. And before that you have to take the exam which usually only comes around like every 4-5 years (just checked and last one was 2017!!) Also, TK must have either had some college credits or worked a different job for like 6 months at LEAST in order to be eligible. And have been 21. ALSO….the boy would have been doing well salary-wise after 5 years. FYI. Also, you can be a Fire Cadet at 18 but my personal headcanon is that he worked as an EMT first because the path to firefighter is easier/faster that way.

This is so fun to use all my work knowledge to inform fandom stuff! I’m gonna keep adding to this. This is for me but if anyone has questions I’m happy to answer/add here!

#lone star #lone star hc

[boqvistsbabe]

Update!!!!!!!!

Hey Y’all!!

Here is the start of hopefully monthly updates. I know in my last update I said I was going to be more consistently here and active. Obviously, that didn’t happen lol. Trying to hold myself to that rn. So this is probably going to be the format for all of my update posts, just so they are easier to follow.

Refresh:

So I am almost completely done with the blog refresh. I think all that is left is updating links and getting some other posts (ex: theme days) made/redone. Most of that got put on the back burner due to how long they were going to take lol. But hopefully, over Spring Break, I’ll be able to get those done (no promises, another thing I’m trying to do, is be more realistic about what I want to get done by when so). 

Writing/Other Content:

Ik I said I’d write more. Once again didn’t really happen. Well, I have written a decent bit, but never finished anything. There is one fic that I am going to try and work on after this week (midterms lol) and have someone look over it (the first time I’ve had a beta reader, look at me go lol). Like the blog as a whole, I am trying to organize my writing, like requests and my ideas and what is going out when etc. (@ any of the other writers if you have any suggestions of what to/where to organize my stuff so it doesn’t get all confusing and mixed up you should def let me know). Speaking of requests, I am going to try and do at least two requests a month. That doesn’t sound like a lot but for me, that feels like something I can realistically do. I will be doing old requests first because even though they are years old at this point, I liked the ideas so I genuinely want to write them. I am still going to be accepting new requests (esp because sometimes that helps spark creativity/help with writer’s block so feel free to send in any ideas!!) but I will try to get those older ones done first. As for any other content (playlists, moodboards, IG edits, drawings, etc.) I am also taking requests for those so feel free to send in any of those requests too. 

Another Blog?!

As of rn the second hockey blog has not been “released”. I want to catch up on things for this blog before I throw that into the mix and try to grow that as well. I am hoping to add that sometime this summer. Also, I do technically have a sideblog already (@samistheman) which is normally where I reblog random things, and I don’t really have tags for that blog I just kinda willy-nilly reblog there (it used to be mostly PJO stuff but now that’s kind of here because of how much of it there is lol).

Life Update:

College is a lot rn. I’m doing 17 credit hours and tbh do not know what possessed me to do that. At first, I was doing pretty good, but now not so much. Like I said earlier I have midterms this week. If y’all didn’t know this, I’m shit at taking tests so not doing great rn. Thankfully one of my classes ends on Sunday so at least I don’t have to worry about that. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life recently that is impacting a lot so trying to navigate that as well. I am moving out in May, which is yes months from now but there is still a lot that I need to do beforehand. Anyway, I’m going to a college hockey game on Thursday and I am super excited. I haven’t been able to go to a game since October. Also little fun update, I’m going on a weekend (work) trip to Boston. Super excited for that. I’ll be getting to go to a Celtics game and a Red Sox game (I’m a Royals girlie tho). I’ve never been to an NBA game so that’s for sure gonna be really cool. I’ve been to many MLB games before but this will be my first at a different stadium. Anyway, I think that is it for this update. Hope y’all are doing well!!

As usual, if y’all ever want to talk dms/inbox are open <3

I am going to tag some moots, I am totally forgetting some people so I am sorry for that (if y'all could reblog that would be amazing)

@2manytabsopen @krugstrash @jimmystrudel @andreburakozy @sidneycrosbyhoe @fallinallincurls @timstuetzle @typical-simplelove @ilyasorokinn @drei-mrssvechii

#blog things

[bmodiwrites]

You Drew Stars Around My Scars

Hi friends! This one is based of a prompt I got sent a couple of days ago. The general gist of it is janitor x workaholic AU. So, here we are! Eddie's a story board editor with nothing to go home to and Steve, well, he's a janitor. This little beauty is filled with cuteness, a few twists, and lots of steddie goodness. Oh, there's some naught stuff, too. Minors, DNI! Check it out here or over on AO3! Let me know what you think in the comments below <3

Dropping the ludicrously expensive color pencil back onto his drawing desk, Eddie reclines back into his chair. He quickly clenches and unclenches his fingers in a desperate attempt to get some blood flow back to them. The sketch before him, a recent episode idea for Epic Kids, is almost perfect – after ten straight hours of work, Eddie is glad to see the thing finally shaping up into what it’s actually supposed to be.

As a story board artist, the demands on Eddie change daily. He doesn’t work for one show or something simple like that. Instead, he works for a company that dabbles in both television and video games. His projects range from children’s shows to multi-million dollar selling video games. No one knew the 90’s would be the time technology blew up – now, so many different game consoles exist, Eddie is never shy on work.

Upon picking up the craft right out of college, Eddie didn’t expect this to be the rest of his life. Sometimes, though, the world works in mysterious ways. The children’s book he always wanted to write comes alive in the shorts he draws and ideas he shares. Though he’s still wanting to put together a D&D epic for younger kids, Eddie is content enough with his lot to continue doodling on someone else’s dime.

He's about to pick the red pencil back up when the creak of his already open door startles him. It’s well past the time at night where anyone else is usually in the building. Eddie likes to close his door until everyone leaves so he’s got the space to himself. Now, he’s drawing in ambient light with nothing to disturb him – except, he guesses, for a gorgeous man dragging along a cleaning cart.

For a lingering moment, Eddie knows the man hasn’t seen him yet. He’s got headphones covering his ears and his head bobs to the beat. Strong hands are already reaching for the tools he’ll need to clean the floor before clearing out Eddie’s trash. This guy is new because no one ever took the time to sweep up the pencil shavings under Eddie’s desk. Lately, he’s been coming back to the office to a clean space. Now, he knows who the culprit is.

Since the guy still isn’t reacting to Eddie’s presence, brown eyes greedily take in their fill. Though the headphones push it down, the janitor has gorgeous hair. It’s thick and dirty blonde. Eddie thinks about the potential for amazing hairstyles and almost swoons. As his eyes roam a little further, Eddie notices wide wire-framed glasses pushed up an angular nose. They enhance hazel eyes that are now looking at him with a mix of panic and surprise.

“Oh damn, I’m so sorry. No one is ever here, I didn’t even think to knock. I’ll uh – I’ll come back later.” The words are out of the new janitors mouth so fast that Eddie’s head spins. Though, he’s quick to put it on right in hopes of keeping this mouthwatering stranger in the room.

“Hey, it’s alright. I should be thanking you. You’re the first cleaner to ever pick up my pencil shavings. It’s awesome, man. I appreciate it.” Eddie finishes his thanks with a soft smile. It should be enough, saying something sweet before moving on. Yet, it’s not. Eddie feels compelled to keep talking. “Are you new?”

The guy looks incredibly uncomfortable for a second before nodding. It’s brief and coarse but it’s a reaction – one that Eddie wasn’t all that sure he was going to get. Happy with that small crumb, Eddie’s smile widens.

“Cool, you’ll like it here. I’ve been working behind this desk since college. Loved every second of it.”

His comment is met with silence that lingers so long Eddie thinks his new friend is done with the conversation. He’s about to grab at his pencil again when that deep voice sounds off.

“Maybe you’re right. It’s really quiet. I like that.” The man pauses for a second, takes Eddie in. His hazel eyes roam over Eddie’s face and down until he sees the drawing on the desk. For an instant, those eyes widen, but the moment is gone long before Eddie can process it.

“I’ll let you get back to your work, Mr. Munson. Sorry again about the interruption.”

Shrinking back at the name, Eddie calls out immediately – “It’s Eddie. Please, call me Eddie.”

Though the man doesn’t verbally respond or outwardly acknowledge Eddie’s request, there’s a short little nod before the squeaking of the cart sounds again and the enigma of a man is gone as quickly as he came.

Over the next couple of weeks, Eddie changes his routine in hope of bumping into their new custodian again. He walks the halls every couple of hours during the day to see if the man works while the rest of his crew does, but never finds him. He then stays a little later, lingering in his office until the call of food or a television show or plain boredom has him collecting his bags to head off for the night.

Eventually, Eddie’s enigma makes another appearance. This time, though, Eddie is not prepared for him. He’s been curled up into the sanctuary of his arm, napping soundly, since his last meeting. They ripped apart his drawing and asked for something completely different than what Eddie had been picturing. The game isn’t even out yet and Eddie is over it. The headache that sets in kicks his ass, making the call of the flat of his desk so very enticing. He doesn’t know he’s fallen asleep until the door kicks open and he’s blinking awake.

“Shit, I did it again. I’ve been saving your office for last every day, trying not to disturb you on your late nights. Sorry, Mr. – Eddie. I don’t mean to disturb you.”

Sitting up a little straighter in his chair, Eddie stops him before he can go. “Wait! You don’t have to do that. I don’t mind the interruption. It’s probably needed. I’m spending way too much time here, anyway.”

With an invitation to stay, the guy doesn’t take off like the rocket he had just been trying to become. Instead, he lingers in the doorway, eyes roaming over Eddie again. Since they’re staring at one another, Eddie doesn’t disguise his desire to look back.

This time, Eddie notices a thin little mustache that covers red and probably delectable lips. They’re plump and forming words that Eddie is obviously missing out on. He clues back in just in time to catch the tail end.

“ – my friend’s son loves Epic Kids. I get so many more cool points now because I know one of the artists.”

Eddie is glad he managed to tune back into reality – catching that compliment makes the rest of his shitty day seem insignificant. Epic Kids is his pet project, one he’s much more interested in than the stupid game pitch still haunting him from his desk. Though, Eddie is unsure how the man before him knows about his involvement. He hasn’t had a new project for the show cross his desk since they first met.

“How did you know I worked on that show?”

The man smiles then, his lips (they are absolutely kissable, Eddie just knows it) quirk into a knowing grin. For the first time since Eddie encountered him, there’s a sign of life outside of trash cans and a grumpy demeanor.

“That first night I barged in, you were working on a doodle that ended up in yesterday’s show. After Lucas finished up the episode, I watched through the credits. Eddie Munson, Storyboard Editor, is pretty hard to miss.”

“It’s kind of unfair you know my name and I don’t know yours,” Eddie petulantly says before he can stop himself. Though, it’s not a bad thing because the man laughs, genuinely chuckles, and points to the embroidered name on the left side of his tacky blue jumpsuit.

“I’m Steve. Steve Harrington.”

Eddie’s cheeks heat up for some reason, as if access to a name gives him so much more. While it’s just a title to call the hot man that roams the halls at night, Eddie sees the vulnerability as something more. An obvious door has been opened and he’s timidly excited to step through it.

Steve becomes a regular fixture after that. It’s easy for him to wheel his cart into Eddie’s office at the end of the night and make conversation while he goes about his duties. Eddie draws or sits in his chair listening intently to everything Steve’s got to say. He learns about the man’s found family and his platonic soulmate who also doubles as a roommate whenever she’s in town. The connection they have is something that should be cherished, despite only being nurtured for a handful of minutes the nights Eddie can force himself to stay late enough.

There is, of course, an easy fix. Eddie isn’t one to actively pursue another person, especially when he’s not quite sure about their interest. Steve, it seems, is the exception to every rule that Eddie’s ever put into place, however. Their time together is too nice not to extend it past the walls of his workplace. Never mind the fact that Eddie is more than excited by the prospect of Steve in anything but the ugly blue uniform he’s forced to wear. The man is beautiful, Eddie sees that through and through. Something tells him, though, that Steve has lots of potential outside of navy blue.

He bids his time until the perfect opportunity presents itself. It’s a Thursday night and Steve is already talking about the weekend. He has yet to mention Friday night, however, so Eddie takes that as his chance.

“What about Friday? Are you free? There’s this joint in town I’ve been dying to try out, thought you might like to come.”

Eddie waits with bated breath as Steve blinks a few times behind his thick lenses. He goes about putting the trashcan back in its spot, even replaces the bag before looking in Eddie’s direction.

“Uh, yeah. That – that sounds good. I haven’t been out with adults I didn’t grow up with in ages. I think I’d really like that.”

It takes a massive amount of effort for Eddie not to happily jump up from his chair. His fist is tingling with the need to thrust itself into the air in triumph, but Eddie keeps control. After finally securing some extra time with Steve, the last thing Eddie wants to do is muck it up by being over eager or worse – immature with his excitement.

It seems, however, that Steve is just as excited. Pink overtakes his cheeks and a smile that Eddie’s never seen before stretches those gorgeous lips wide. And while he’s not making eye contact with Eddie at all, Steve sneakily glances in his direction time and time again as he finishes up.

Eddie feels like he’s back in high school again, fumbling over his first crush. It’s a glorious thing, experiencing freedom like that after the fickle mundaneness of adulthood.

----

As expected, Steve is an absolute dream out of uniform. The yellow polo Steve’s wearing makes the hazel in his eyes stand out beyond belief. His blue jeans are tight in all the right areas, enhancing thighs and ass like navy blue fabric never could. Eddie has to physically close his mouth upon first glance, lest he starts drooling before the date actually gets started.

Thankfully, Steve spots him across the weird little bar and makes a beeline in Eddie’s direction. The space they’re in is an eclectic little place that serves beer while it’s patrons play mini golf on the two courses out back. It’s one of the coolest things Eddie has seen – he desperately hopes this little place won’t be the last of such an interesting idea.

Everyone around them looks to be enjoying themselves, either way.

Glad for that knowledge and reassurane, Eddie makes quick work of getting them both a drink and the things they need to play the first course. Steve is slightly stiff as they start but loosens up by the third hole.

Now that they’re not in the noisy bar and the party before them is a couple holes ahead, Steve relaxes. He starts to shoot better and actually takes a couple pulls of his drink. It’s a relief because Eddie already thought he blew it.

As it turns out, Steve is just a man with a little social anxiety. When it’s just the two of them, Eddie gets so much from Steve. He talks about his family the most, the little brother (who’s not actually a ‘real’ sibling, though Steve counts him as one) that’s been a pain in his ass most of Steve’s life, the niece and nephew he spoils incessantly. It’s a beautiful thing to experience a person so dedicated to the people around them.

Eddie tries to reciprocate by telling him about art school and the program he did throughout. He talks about the children’s book he wants to write, despite never spilling the beans of that to anyone else in the entire world. Uncle Wayne doesn’t even know the plot of Eddie’s dream work. For some reason, Eddie can’t stop himself from speaking so earnestly to Steve. It doesn’t hurt, however, that Steve is pretty candid with his words, too.

The only thing that Steve doesn’t talk about is himself. After the first date and then the second, Eddie chalks it up to nerves and taking things slow. He’s in deep already, so the change in pace is a welcome thing.

Except, it keeps happening the longer they’re together. Two dates turns to two months of dating, two months of Steve avoiding questions, two months of them never once setting foot in Steve’s apartment. Admittedly, the lack of personal details is a little off putting. Though, Eddie is eager enough to see where things might go with Steve that he pushes all of that aside. One day, one day really soon, Steve will open up.

It eventually happens, just not in the way Eddie ever thought it would.

For the first time in their entire relationship, Steve’s walking him towards his door. Well, he’s backing Eddie up against it because they can’t keep their hands off each other. Between their intense connection and the chemistry that runs rampant, Eddie’s been edging himself, waiting for this very moment. It’s a little much now that it’s happening but Eddie’s here for it, eager and willing, too. So much so that he doesn’t question Steve leaving off lights as they stumble inside.

Despite the time it took them to get here, Steve is anything but patient and inexperienced. He doesn’t fumble or miss buttons in the darkness of the room. His accurate attack gets Eddie out of his clothes in record time.

Instead of taking off his own, however, Steve immediately drops to his knees, eager hands finding Eddie’s cock without struggle. Long fingers wrap around the base while Steve’s other hand drops to Eddie’s balls. He rolls them at the same time the wetness of his mouth sucks in the head of Eddie’s cock. It’s so glorious, Eddie can do nothing but thread his fingers through Steve’s hair and pull him closer.

The suction is so good that Eddie has to dig the nails of his free hand into the fleshy skin of his palm. Drawing blood is the only thing stopping Eddie from shooting down Steve’s throat but it’s all too good to make him stop. At least, Eddie thinks that until the end is actually imminent. Then, he tugs on Steve’s hair, pulling him off as gently as possible.

“You’re way too good at that. Care for a little something more?” Eddie asks as Steve stands up from his spot on the ground. There’s a smile on his face, though Eddie barely recognizes it in the dark. He thinks to ask about the light but bypasses the urge – if Steve wanted them on, he would’ve flipped the switch as he passed.

Knowing that, Eddie is a little surprised that Steve takes off his clothes at all. Usually when a person liked to keep the lights off, they liked to keep their clothes on, too. Steve, it seems, is filled with contradictory worries and triggers. He sheds his clothes in the same manner he disrobed Eddie. It’s efficient and quick and soon, they’re both standing in front of each other naked as can be.

Steve doesn’t give Eddie much time to take him in. That self-conscious air is back, despite Steve covering it up by sliding his body on top of Eddie’s on the mattress. They fit together so well it’s difficult to keep up with anything at all aside slick slide of Steve’s hips as he grinds down against Eddie. Their cocks are both wet with pre-cum that makes each brush of their pelvises an electric thing. Eddie is already done in – he’s not sure how much more he can take.

There must be precognition in Steve’s life because he moves away from Eddie right as he thinks that. It’s both a torture and relief, one that’s only made better by Steve shifting his body so he can dig into the bedside table for a condom and some lube. The triumphant little noise he makes is kind of nice, too. It reorients Eddie back to the real reason they’re taking each other apart. He loves Steve. Steve loves him. Coming together like this is the ultimate culmination of their feelings for each other.

That thought echoes in Eddie’s head while Steve lubes up a finger, then leaves a dollop of the cool liquid on Eddie’s hip for later. When that finger breaches him, Eddie lets Steve project his love into him, feeling complete for the first time since things started between them. It’s satisfying and dizzyingly delicious.

Steve is very good at the things he’s doing to Eddie. His fingers take no time at all to find Eddie’s prostate. They nail the bundle of nerves tirelessly before not touching it again for many minutes on end, despite more digits coming to the party.

Eventually, three fingers barely skim against it by the time Steve’s getting antsy for more. Eddie too is right there with him.

“I’m good, Steve. I’m good. I need you, baby.”

A soft chuckle slips from Steve’s lips that are pressed against Eddie’s neck. While hands fumble between them, Steve kisses and nips little marks into soft skin, distracting them both from the lurid slip of a condom down Steve’s cock. Eventually a hard tip presses against Eddie’s entrance and the softest of whispers echoes in his head.

“I’ve got you, Eds. I’ve got you,” Steve mumbles, his words laced with lust and want and anticipation that reaches a peak as Steve finally presses inside.

It’s so difficult to keep his composure, Eddie doesn’t even try. He yells out a loud “fuck” that sits in the room with them. While Steve draws back and thrusts forward, Eddie clings to him. He runs his hands over Steve’s back and sides, tracing lines of something like scarring from one side of his torso to the other. If he was thinking straight, Eddie would’ve taken that all into account. Instead, he wraps his arms around Steve’s neck and lets the man drop even more weight upon him, distracting Eddie further.

When the end comes creeping near, Steve’s head is tucked into Eddie’s neck, his harsh breath like a tsunami’s wind. Eddie is hanging on the precipice, already able to cum for minutes now. He’s clutching to that edge just to make sure he tumbles off at the same time Steve does. It only takes a handful of thrusts and a cleverly placed bite of Steve’s teeth right above Eddie’s collarbone for both boys to free fall into the unknown abyss of immaculate pleasure.

Eddie must black out because the next time he blinks back to consciousness, there’s light streaming through Steve’s windows. There are curtains but each one is pulled back, letting in the light.

It’s then that Eddie sees them, the reasons behind Steve’s need to keep the lights off in front of Eddie. There are scars everywhere that Eddie can see. Some are long and thin while others look like something tried to take a bite out of Steve’s skin. The flesh is red and raised, though healed completely all the same. Eddie wants to reach out and touch but he refrains. Intimacy is a gift he doesn’t want to give away. Misplacing Steve’s trust in him is not at all what Eddie wants to do.

Already, it’s too late, though. Steve turns slightly, revealing more of the scars on his chest and neck. There’s a long line around his throat that Eddie is surprised he’s never noticed. It obviously hides well under all the clothes Steve wears. This time, he doesn’t tamp down the urge. His fingers brush up against Steve’s neck on their own accord.

“What happened, Steve?” Eddie’s eyes are welling up with tears. He can’t decide if he’s mad at whatever did this or overwhelmed with the need to care for the man before him. That must be clear – Steve doesn’t draw away or try to hide. He rolls over completely and pulls Eddie into his arms.

“It’s – really hard to explain,” Steve starts, his hand idly running up and down Eddie’s sides as they cuddle. “The town I grew up in, Hawkins – it made the news a bunch of times a few years ago.”

Sensing some familiarity, Eddie wracks his brain, trying to remember but New York is a long way away from Indiana. He still nods his head, willing Steve to go on.

“Some crazy stuff went down that you probably won’t believe. In the end, I took a beating to make sure my family got to see another day. I got… taken and the things that were trying to tear Hawkins apart, they did this to me. A couple times over.”

Steve’s a little breathless when he finishes. Despite not sharing all that many details, Eddie knows whatever he just purged from Steve is a lot. It’s something that’s stricken him down in unimaginable ways.

For all it’s worth, Eddie leans further into Steve, dragging him in a little closer. He doesn’t know what to say but that seems to be okay. Steve wraps him up tighter and lets the easy silence settle between them. Without noticing, both drift off again.

Between a nap and another round of amazing sex a while later, Eddie is famished when they eventually resurface to go about the rest of the day.

Steve volunteered to cook so Eddie wanders around the apartment. He takes in the comic books and CDs. There are toys in a box in a corner and a big tv box tucked into a nice looking stand. It’s simple and nice and totally not what Eddie expected at all.

Neither is the master’s degree Eddie sees hanging from the wall.

“Steve, you went to college? For longer than the mandatory four years?” Eddie’s voice is high, the shock clearly coming through.

Steve comes bounding around the corner, a spatula still in his hand. “What are you screaming about in here?”

Eddie takes a long breath and then another. He looks at the diploma on the wall and then back at Steve. “You never said you were a college boy.”

Laughing lightly, Steve shrugs his shoulders. “You never asked.”

“But – “ Eddie starts, his face flushing. The mere thought is too much. How can he ever say the words?

Steve, of course, beats him to it. “But what? But I’m a janitor? You know, Eddie – that’s pretty narrow minded of you.” The words hold no malice, despite the tone of Steve’s voice.

“I don’t like people or crowds. I have PTSD from all the trauma in my teens. Offices and university campuses are the Mecca of loud noises and large masses of other humans. Instead of putting myself into danger, I work a slow job that fits my complexities. It’s exactly what I need, Eddie. Kind of like you.”

The last sentence is enough to make Eddie’s head spin. He for sure thought he was getting a lecture where in fact he gets the opposite.

Steve strides towards his bookcase a determined look in his eye. He searches and skims his fingers over book spines until the right one is in his hands. “Read this. You might understand things a little better. I always told anyone who asked that the events weren’t real but they are. Everything I wrote down in that book is what me and my friends went through. All of it.”

Steve taps the top, looking directly at Eddie. “Read it, don’t read it. If you’re curious about me, you’ll find a lot of what you want to know between those pages.”

All the sudden, Eddie remembers where he heard the name Hawkins before, where he’d even been privy to Steve’s name prior to them meeting. Looking down at the book in his hands, Eddie distinctly remembers demogorgons and bats with tails that stung and ripped and tore. Quickly, Eddie riffled through the pages in order to get to the back cover.

There, in all his gorgeous glory, was Steve Harrington, not at all smiling at the camera. Reading into the bio, Eddie ticked off all the educational credentials that Steve has. Two master’s and a prestigious scholarship from the university he used to teach at. Despite himself, Eddie is surprised, yet not all at the same time.

Instead of continuing to read through the book in hopes of finding out more details, Eddie closes it and puts it back on the shelf where Steve found it. Sucking in a long breath, Eddie nods, then goes to join Steve in the kitchen. Now that the cats out of the bag, Eddie thinks he might enjoy learning more about his boyfriend strictly from the source himself.

As Eddie settles himself against Steve’s back, he allows himself to relax. Steve’s mystery is one Eddie can’t wait to pick apart. Until the clues lay themselves out for him, however, Eddie’s content to hold onto Steve tight and see where the road leads them. It’s too easy to be enraptured by a man that holds his hand while flipping pancakes with the other.

“Thanks,” Eddie whispers as the breakfast making commotion calms down.

Steve doesn’t ask him what he’s thankful for or demand an explanation. He simply pulls Eddie close and silently finishes breakfast.

Slow and steady.

Absolutely perfect in every way.

tag list (message if you'd like to be added): @infinite-orangepeel, @thefreakandthehair, @corrodedcoughin, @prettyboisteveharrington, @writer-in-theory

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steve x eddie #steve harrington/eddie munson #steve harrington x eddie munson #janitor steve #artist eddie #bobbie writes #you drew scars around my scars

[chris-continues]

Abwisbwisnwiw not me back with another medical question but you mention Bash having a few different medical conditions (that mean Wolfwood doesn’t smoke around him, causes fainting spells and that effects his diet,,,, is it too obvious I’m binging your college AU haienskszbwksns)

I was wondering if you had specific diagnoses in mind?? If you’ve already mentioned this and I’ve just missed it I apologise!! I genuinely adore your AU writing and your Pinterest board for College Vash is so on point for him, it’s adorable!!

Vash’s medical conditions/chronic illnesses/autoimmune disorders

I’m so glad you like my college au! I’ve been thinking of some diagnoses for him and I’m probably going to add onto this more, but here’s what my brain has conjured up for now! (I definitely didn’t project into these at all cough cough)

PS: if anyone has these disorders/diseases/conditions and wants to add onto these, I’d love that! Please feel free to correct me, I cite the resources I used to research these but if anything is inaccurate lmk!

Keep in mind that Vash had a lot of health issues before the car accident w/ Rem, so some of these he just naturally developed while others are now present because of the accident^^

TW: mentions of car accidents, mentions of depression, medical talk (duh)

TAGS: @macncherries @h4venpha @lune010 @vashfantasy @millionsvash

POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome)

 “Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) is a condition that causes a number of symptoms when you transition from lying down to standing up, such as a fast heart rate, dizziness and fatigue. While there’s no cure, several treatments and lifestyle changes can help manage the symptoms of POTS.”

Vash has to keep a snack cart in his room (that he drags around) and salty stuff on him all the time since salt can help w/ some of the tremors and shakes

He’s fainted a couple times- almost hit his head on the coffee table a number of times. Nai’s pushed back the table a number of times to Vash’s complaint (because he wants to rest his feet on the table when he sits), but is reminded that between the choice of footrest and potential concussion, he should make the wise choice.

I also think he’s had to deal with several other complications due to this + high blood pressure (he has to check his blood pressure regularly)

Loss of arm/amputation

Vash lost his arm in the car accident w/ Rem, leading to the money they’d inherited from Rem mainly going towards his arm. Vash feels incredibly guilty about that still, so he does his best to take care of it (sometimes he treats his prosthetic a bit better than the rest of him)

Whenever he takes it off for the night he settles it by his glasses on his nightstand.

Suffers from body dysmorphia a bit when his arm is gone. Waking up without it terrified him for awhile.

Due to this, Nai had to literally check and make sure he took it off so his body had a chance to breathe and not constantly be maneuvering the prosthetic.

Definitely was wary about people touching it at first, but now he’s a lot more comfortable with it (in his college years)

Little kids will ask him questions about it and instead of shying away partly uncomfortably and awkwardly like he did in highschool, he’ll indulge them (with a cool make believe storytime and allow them to touch his arm).

Type 1 Diabetes

This guy has such a sweet tooth help him

Knives will have to hold him back like, “You’ll overdose on insulin no,” and swat his hand away

Has long acting insulin, has to have short acting on hand (usually in a Fanny pack) because when they go out he’ll grab a snack lol (he snacks a ton. The guy is hungry and when he sees smth that looks good, chances are he’ll usually grab it and offer you a piece <3)

Nai has to remind him to check his A1C, has it on a calendar in his phone for every 3 months

When Vash didn’t eat/forgot to eat when his depression was really bad in highschool, his blood sugar would crash bad. Nai had to shove glucose tabs down his throat while he was shaking, berating him on how irresponsible he is. It comes from a place of love.

When it’s high (DKA/ Diabetic Keto Acidosis) he’s incredibly sluggish and has to be sitting/laying down while waiting for his short acting/fast acting insulin to work.

A glucometer/blood finger stick was cheaper (and a blood sugar sensor wasn’t covered in his insurance) so that’s what Vash uses to check his blood sugar

Whenever Vash gets snacks for himself he claims it’s for his blood sugar (which partly, it is), but they both know it’s partly a lie LMAO. When Nai confronts him on that with a deadpan look Vash simply excuses it as study snacks. “They help me concentrate!” “..sure.”

Mixed hearing loss

Thanks to the accident, Vash has mixed hearing loss.

Mixed hearing loss means that unlike sensioneural hearing loss (hearing loss caused by damage to the inner ear or the nerve from the ear to the brain) and conductive hearing loss (hearing loss to outer and middle ear) 

He has to wear hearing aids thanks to this, but it takes him awhile to actually acknowledge it since he doesn’t want to stress out Nai any further after the accident. This leads to his hearing loss actively getting worse since he isn’t seeking out treatment.

He looks incredibly sheepish and guilty once he finally brings it up, as it’s impacting his life more often and becomes more difficult to navigate in his day to day life.

His hearing is better in his left than right. Insurance wouldn’t cover 2 hearing aids and his hearing was 50-70 percent in his left while his right was 30-50, so he only got one hearing aid.

To help him sluggishly get ready in the morning and because he keeps mixing up his left and right when he’s half awake he gets one ear pierced in college (with Wolfwood’s advice)

Nai thinks it looks ridiculous but yk what? If it helps him to use his hearing aid? A win is a win.

He forgets to put it in sometimes T<T

He has to constantly change the frequency/setting/channels like if he’s in a cafeteria with a lot of voices it can get really squeaky and overwhelming for him

Hashimotos

Hashimoto's disease is an autoimmune disorder affecting the thyroid gland. Leukocytes attack the thyroid.

He had dry skin and thinning hair and brushed it off as him not eating enough.. haha, guess what it was-

Eyebags. Constantly fatigued but he pulls through

Can easily get cold (he wears long sleeves and sweatshirts religiously lmao)

He takes naps often because he’s rlly tired

Hashimotos causes joint pain too so I’d imagine he feels like crap with that too sadly

There’s also the fact he often has to handle brain fog- he already struggles doing tasks thanks to his ADHD and so this only makes it more difficult. What helps him I think is a website that breaks things down for you step by step and he uses a reminders app with timed reminders for certain things (like https://goblin.tools/)

Anemia

Vash is a pretty naturally warm person but his fingers and toes can get cold

One reason why he wears gloves (that and sensory issues + he got used to wearing gloves to hide his arm in highschool- he doesn’t hide his arm anymore when he’s in college though).

When he stands up is the dizziness from POTS, anemia, his diabetes, or hashimotos?? Guess we’ll never know (poor blood circulation and dizziness)

He has some iron supplements he either forgets to take or doesn’t take as much as he should (so Nai remembers to incorporate more iron into his diet)

His arms and legs tend to fall asleep kinda fast sometimes (so you’ll have to help shake them awake lol)

Sources:

Along with help from @cowboylivio , @blu3lanc3lot + my own personal experiences (+having disabled family members)

#chris writes #trigun #trigun stampede #millions knives #vash the stampede #trigun college au #college au #college au vash #vash Trigun #Trigun vash #autoimmune #autoimmine disease #tw body issues #tw body dysmorphia #tw car wreck #tw car accident

[beebeetheclown]

Can I request one? <3

I'm imagining kendall and Rava (or any female charcter/reader), without kids, at the very end of their divorce process, reconciling a bit? Just something flourishing?

Might sound a bit more emotional than smut maybe but do whatever you want with it <3

Hi anon😊 this took me longer to write than I hoped for but it’s finally done!! I really liked this idea as it is not the type of thing I usually write. I like to change things up.

Thank you for requesting this! The start is not really my favorite but I promise it gets more interesting as it goes on! Also it is quite short, shorter than how long I usually make them but maybe not everything has to be so long haha. I hope you enjoy!

Kendall Roy x Rava - Request

Angsty one shot

Word Count: 1.9k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🍊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kendall and Rava stand in the penthouse they lived in together for the past year and a half. When they first stood together in the penthouse, nothing but joy and excitement was written all over their faces. They were both so excited to start a new life together as Kendall had just married her. They have been dating ever since he first met her in college.

The longer Kendall would work at Waystar, the harder it would get for Rava. As they both stand in the big living room, it is nothing like how it was the first time they stood in the room. Rava is holding the divorce papers in her hand and Kendall is just a few feet away from her looking at his shoes.

They both had already done everything at the court to break apart from one another. Rava had only come back to the penthouse with him to take all of her stuff. Once practically all of her stuff was packed away in the back of her car, the two stood silently in the living room, not really sure what to do next. Kendall can’t just let her leave just like that, he needed more answers. He had gotten many answers from her ever since the whole idea of divorce started, but he needed more,

“Does it mean nothing to you anymore?” Kendall asks.

“Does what mean nothing?”

“All those times in college, don’t you remember how much fun we had?”

“Kendall, that is in the past. We aren’t young anymore. You have changed Kendall, it’s not the same as how it used to be.”

“Well I’m sorry I can’t be that young college boy anymore. I’m taking my job seriously now, I’m a hard worker, is that not what you wanted? I still don’t understand.”

“The thing about you Kendall is that you don’t know the difference between a hard worker and an obsessive worker. You are obsessive Ken. It’s not good for you and it’s not good for me, it’s not good for the both of us.”

“No- no, you’re wrong. I’m not obsessive, I’m a hard worker, I am. I stay focused on what is right. I am a hard working, successful man, how do you not see that? Work is stressful, okay? Sorry I couldn’t be so full of joy all the fucking time.

“Even when work is stressful, you didn’t even tell me about it or let me help you. You go and get drunk and don’t even talk about it with me. I’ve told you this a thousand times now.”

“Come on, I didn’t even drink that much, you are overreacting here.”

“No, I’m not Kendall. I am done with you,” Rava holds up the divorce papers, “It says so here. We will never be together again, we will never love again. I don’t think I can ever love you again.” Her last words hurt both herself and Kendall. The room went quiet for a moment, the silence was filled with anger, regret, and sadness.

Kendall spoke up very quietly, his gaze was down at the floor, “You love me Rava.”

“Ken-”

“Paper proof or not, I know you still love me, you can’t just throw it all away like that Rava.”

Rava’s voice is quiet now too, she doesn’t want to believe him, but it’s hard not to, “Maybe I love you, but I can’t love you. I can’t love you anymore Kendall. You’ve hurt me enough.”

“You can’t but you want to.”

Rava feels teary now, she keeps her voice quiet, “Kendall, stop.”

“You love me Rava.” She begins to cry softly now, “Please don’t cry.”

“I think I need to leave now.” She replies as she wipes her tear away.

It gets quiet for a moment, Kendall doesn’t know what to say right away but then he speaks up, “Before you leave and this turns into something else, can I at least kiss you once more?”

“That’s not a good idea Ken. Really, I need to leave.”

“Just one kiss. Please.”

When Rava doesn’t answer, he walks over to her and cups her cheek so she looks at him. He looks at her for a moment then leans in to give her a kiss. She hardly kisses him back at first, but after having his lips on her own for a few more seconds, she can’t hold back and kiss him back with the same passion she did when they had their first kiss back in college.

He now puts both hands on the sides of her face and kisses her more deeply. He only really wanted to give her a small peck, but he couldn’t seem to pull away, he didn’t want to. He only pulls away to talk again. He rests his forehead on hers as he speaks, “Before you walk out, before we break apart, just let me love you once more, just a while longer.”

They both knew that it wasn’t good to love each other, but that didn’t mean that the feeling of love for each other was completely gone. Knowing that there was still a small spark that survived through everything only made things worse, it only made things harder. The spark made it hard for them to let go.

“Ken,” She whispers softly, but she can’t finish what she wants to say because Kendall begs to have her love for just a second longer,

“Please, please Rava.” With his soft, saddened pleads, she kisses him again. The two continue to have their feet planted still into the ground as they kiss, but he soon begins to move her over to the large couch that was just a few feet away from them.

She sits down and Kendall leans down to continue to kiss her pink lips. She still has the papers in her hands but they soon drop to the floor as they fall out of her grip. When the papers hit the floor, Kendall pulls away. He looks down at her then lets his hands slowly untuck her blouse out of her jeans, wanting to pull it over her head.

She watches his hands for a moment before looking back up at his face, “We can’t.” Her voice is still very quiet, it’s close to breaking and cracking as she still feels so doleful.

“Just let me love you once more, once more and then you can walk out that door.”

“What if I regret letting you do this?”

“You won’t regret, I can make you feel good.”

“No, that’s exactly what I’m worried about.”

“Why?”

“Because it’ll only make it harder for me to go.”

“Then don’t go, not yet.” He kisses her again and leans his weight onto her a little so she lies down on the couch. He’s on top of her now and kissing her so gently. He soon stands again then begins to unbutton her jeans. Rava just closes her eyes and her breath is heavy, she wants him just as bad as he wants her, but she is holding back her tears. She lifts her hips for him and he very slowly pulls down both her jeans and panties. He soon drops them to the floor and leans in to kiss her again.

He wants to take her shirt off but he doesn’t want to make her sit up again, he just wants her to lie back and relax and enjoy the moment. He now begins to take his own bottoms off and as he does so, he asks her, “Will you let me love you just one more time?”

Rava knows how bad of an idea it is, but she can’t help but comply and give in, “Yes, Kendall.”

“I want to make you feel good again,” he replies. His bottoms are off now, “Let me make you feel good again.”

“Kiss me Kendall.”

He leans in again and is on top of her again. He gives her a long and deep kiss before pulling his lips away. His hot breath is on her lips and his forehead is touching hers as he ever so slowly grinds his hips forward, making love to her before she can walk out the door forever. She moans quietly and he does the same shortly after her. Him being inside her again just felt so good for the both of them, there was no denying it. The last time they had sex was so long ago, she missed his touch and he missed her beautiful sounds.

He continues to make love to her, setting a slow rhythm. He is in no rush, he wants to make it last as long as he possibly can. He brings his lips down to kiss her neck and shoulder. Rava puts a hand on the back of his head and lets her other arm wrap around his back and sets her hand on his shoulder. She holds him close to her as they make love.

“Rava,” he whispers in her ear, “I love you.”

“Ken,” her eyes shut now, “don’t.”

He hums into her neck, “But I do. I love you so much. You are so beautiful.”

His slow thrusts never change, he doesn’t bother to move faster, he just continues to love her gently. He was usually always so fast when it came to sex, but this time, he takes his sweet time with her. The feeling of her around him again makes him moan quietly into her skin.

Rava can’t tell him that she loves him back, but she continues to let him love her with his body. She can’t get enough of him at the moment. His name comes out of her quivering lips, sounding like a pleasured whimper, “Kendall.”

“I’m right here.” He replies in her ear, “I’m right here for you.”

She ends up crying a little as she cums. She cries from both pleasure and pain. She cries from the loving pleasure he is giving to her. She cries knowing that she won’t ever be able to love him back. She knows that Kendall will always be the same, he is too damaged to be fixed.

He follows soon after her, finishing inside her. His moans are quiet and weak. He too almost feels as if he could cry. He pulls out of her carefully and soon pulls his dress pants back up. Rava just lies still as he dresses himself again. Her heavy breathing along with her sad sniffles is heard. Kendall takes her hands and helps her sit up and sits down next to her. He brings his thumb to wipe away her tears.

A pained smile appears on his face, “Still loving you means that I can’t hurt you.” He says, “So if leaving my ring on your finger and making you stay with me hurts you, I must let you go.”

She gives him the same pained smile back, “Just because I leave doesn’t mean I want to see you fail. I want you to grow from this.” She takes his hand in hers, “Please Kendall, just promise me you won’t let him ruin you anymore.”

She didn’t say his name but he knew that the certain ‘him’ was his father, “I won’t let him, I promise.”

Rava wants to believe him so badly, but deep down she feels if his answer sadly cannot be true. She kisses his forehead before she dresses herself again. He watches her the whole time, getting one more look at her before she can leave. Her eyes fall down to the divorce papers that are on the floor and she kneels down to pick them up.

They look at each other once more, Kendall now has big, teary eyes, “Goodbye Rava.”

Her reply is so quiet, it’s almost hard to hear, “Goodbye Kendall.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🍊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notes:

I kind of made myself sad for them haha.

More Kendall requests will be published soon👀 stay tuned!

#kendall roy #rava roy #kendall x rava #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #kendall roy x rava roy #succession

[golbrocklovely]

i’m the anon that sent that shifting n stuff ask! so your college experience counts as shifting (like 100%) and i’d love to hear it!!personally on the fence about the legit science side of it, since small things like the berstein bears and little timeline tweaks I think could be real, and ppl having strong emotional reactions are obviously smthg unless theyre lying (but they dont have a reason to really, and theyre living w the stress of what feels like gaslighting to them). but the tiktok -🌟

see this issue i have of calling what i experienced as "shifting" is i was very much awake and living my life when it happened. hell, even someone else i knew said things felt different (i'll explain in the story) so to me, this wasn't like a very vivid daydream or dream even. but i also can't completely explain what happened logically.

okay, here's what i experienced many moons ago, where i think we switched onto a different timeline.

this is super long and weirdly timely so... strap in lol

how i always described this situation to those that wanted to know about it: imagine taking any room in your house. you have all the time in the world to memorize everything about it. the furniture, the lights, everything. imagine i tell you to leave that room for a couple minutes, and then come back. you do that, and when you come back i tell you that something about this room is now missing. it's up to you to figure out what is no longer there. now, it could be as noticeable as a couch or a chair, right? or... it could a quarter that was under the rug that you didn't know about. that's how annoying this whole thing felt. you know something's different. but you don't know what it is.

this was november of 2017. i was in college. to give a brief run down of my sleeping schedule at the time, i would leave for school (bc i commuted) around 8 am, get there at 9, and then stay at school until 5 pm. then i would get home around 6/7, depending on traffic, and pass out almost immediately. then i'd wake up anywhere around 1-3 am, do homework and whatnot and then literally stay up the entire time until the next day at 6/7 pm again. if i was lucky, i could nap at school (bc my dad worked at my university and i could sleep in his office) or if i didn't have homework i could sleep until the next day when i would have to get ready for school.

so it's safe to say my sleeping schedule was ass lol

i just came home, it was a monday. i think i stayed up a bit later, worked on an art project for school, and then went to sleep around 8/9 pm. i remember falling asleep, i remember deciding i was going to sleep.

i woke up around 3 in the morning. that wasn't odd, i usually always wake up throughout the night. however when i woke up, i was confused as all hell. i didn't have a weird dream, if anything i didn't really dream at all, and when i woke up i just felt really confused, like my room looked different to me or something.

i remember saying out loud, "something feels off", and then i went back to sleep. i slept until the morning when i had to get up, bc i had no other homework that night.

on tuesdays (from what i can remember now since this was so long ago at this point), i would have a 9 am bio class, then i would have a couples hours off, and the around 1 or so, i would go to my art class. i remember distinctively carrying a big ass portfolio to school, or into my dad's office on these days. thursdays, i had a similar schedule. the only difference being i didn't have art, i had a bio lab instead that was a bit later than the art class. this is all important to the story.

i go to school on tuesday, take my portfolio to my dad's office, leave it there, and then go to my biology class. class is normal, nothing out of the ordinary. now, to give you an exact date or time frame of when this all took place, we had a WEEK before thanksgiving break. and i knew my professor wanted our last class together to be a quiz or a test. and our break started on wednesday the following week.

and i remember half way thru class sitting there, wondering why she was teaching us all of this new material when we should have been taking a test. class ended, she said "see you on thursday" and i remember almost raising my hand to say "thursday is thanksgiving". it took me a solid 30 seconds to realize OH, i'm thinking of the wrong dates. it's not the week of thanksgiving, it's the week before.

i started walking back to my dad's office and i thought to myself "what else do i have to do today? nothing, right? i don't have any other classes." (to addon, on mon/wed/fri i only had one class). i get back to my dad's office, see my portfolio and go OMG dumbass, you have art. it was literally the only homework you worked on last night. you always have two classes on tues/thurs.

i was very confused, but shrugged it off. however, i want it to be noted that while i can be forgetful sometimes, when i was in school, i really wasn't. i was on top of my school work and never once need an extension bc i made sure to know when things were due. so to be a week off time wise was really confusing.

fast forward a bit, it's time for my art class. the one thing i LOVED about my campus was that we had flowers all over that were just absolutely gorgeous. i'll even insert the one photo i took of these flowers from a month before this event happened to me (also, ain't creepy that it's also from a tuesday??? also also i had to ss this from snapchat lol):

so as i'm walking to class, i have to pass by these flowers. they looked like this ^^^ literally the day before, and i just generally loved walking by them when i would go on that side of campus.

i stopped dead in my tracks. they were all dead.

they looked burned, like someone had set them ablaze. like, usually when plants like these die there is at least some petals left on the ground. maybe shriveled up and whatnot, but proof that they were once vibrant flowers. i'm telling you, they were all gone and there was no petals anywhere. it was so eerie to me that i felt really creeped out.

i went to class, nothing else really happened. i asked my friend if she felt off that day, and she said no. i went home after my class, repeated the cycle of sleeping and then getting up late.

on wednesdays, i had my one class mid way thru the day, so usually i would spend my mornings going to the library and working on bio lab stuff (which would be due the next day). so i did that, went to my usual spot, started working on my lab. i get a text around 10/11 ish by my friend from my art class (that was also in the same major as me, theater). and she told me the cast list was posted for our final show. this was my senior year and this would have been my last chance to perform. i had only perform twice, and really wanted to get in something else before graduating.

she sent me the cast list, and i didn't make it into anything. i was taken aback bc the director, who was also my adviser, had praised my song choice and thought i sounded excellent and basically kissed the ground i walked on after my audition, which is something that she never did before.

and the thing is, i had not been casted before. so this wasn't new to me. but literally every time, i would cry. it meant a lot to me to be included so when i wasn't i just felt terrible, so i would always cry. i remember digging my nails into my palm and tears welling up in my eyes. i remember looking around at everyone in the library, already feeling embarassed that i was gonna cry publicly. i closed my eyes, and took a really deep breath.

and suddenly, all of the sadness i felt went away immediately. like in a snap, i was suddenly okay. hell, i was more than okay. i was… happy.

not to be too sad sounding, but i'm never happy. well, it's very rare for me to be genuinely, deeply happy. especially back then when i was at one of my lowest and most depressed. but i sincerely was so happy, so relieved. i sped thru my bio lab somehow, left the library early, and when i walked back to my dad's office, i was fucking GIDDY. you ever see in movies when someone's in a good mood they point and wave at strangers?? i was, honest to god, thisclose to doing that bc that's how HAPPY I WAS.

i was deeply confused by all of this tho. bc none of it made sense. how did i forget what week it was so quickly and think i was a week ahead? how did i get over the heartache of missing out on the final chance i had to perform? it was like a week had passed in my mind, and that's why my emotions - anger, sadness, shame, you name it - were all gone within a second.

i genuinely believe that we somehow jumped a week in time. now granted, you could probably chalk a lot of this up to me just being in a weird headspace, forgetting things bc stress, my depression, terrible sleeping habits, ect. i get it. i've gone thru all of those scenarios myself, even to this day.

but the ONE THING that makes me think this actually happened…. is my mom. fast forward to mid decemeber, i remember it was when i was off but my dad wasn't, so me and mom were driving up to my university to pick up my dad from work. i was talking to her about my life and school and whatever. idk what we were talking about exactly, but i said to my mom "i feel like something has shifted. like something changed."

she agreed with me. "yeah, things feel really off anymore." i told her that i've felt this way for a while. and then my mom goes, "have you been feeling this way since the week before thanksgiving? bc that's when i started to feel it."

imma be honest, i don't believe in conspiracy theories. i'm not one to jump the gun on shit like this, but clearly something happened. i'm not sure what, but something changed for me back then. and i think it's bigger than just me and the ppl immediately around me. but that's just how i feel about it.

this was very long and i'm really sorry if this was boring to read lol

#ask #personal

[thekidsarentalright]

HELLO I SURVIVED!! my voice is extremely fucked up from screaming and my legs hurt but i’m alive!! i feel like there’s so much stuff i need to ramble abt so i’m just gonna write a fuckin essay here lmao i’m so sorry 😭

ok so the stage looked SO cool in person. the backdrops were gorgeous <3 and everything was like a physical prop, not projections… including the giant replica of bubbles the dog <3 pete kept pretending to put his hand in its mouth and patrick was singing to it! and the pyro was insane, i could feel the heat from it and i was Not super close to the stage. they Also had a clock on the side of the stage that would go backwards every so often… like going back in time to play older songs 😭

UM?!?! THAT SETLIST?!?!?! ginasfs was NOT a possibility in my head at all, so that was absolutely insane, my god!!! everyone was like “???” after pete said they’d never played it live. and then it started and my brain literally blacked out. like my only thought was “there’s no way this is happening, what the FUCK”. that song is so important to me and honestly was one of the first ones i remember loving when i got into fob, so that was a whole moment!! if there’s a different song every time that’s so scary, i SO hope u get the song u want if that’s the case! <333

“don’t forget who left the light on 20 years ago” had me tearing up and then all the tttyg stuff… fob wants us all dead fr! and THEN HEAVEN IOWA?! AND HEADFIRST SLIDE?!?!?! i was HOLLERING the whole time, my throat still hurts 💀 and FAKE OUT OMG WHERE DO I EVEN START 😭 the pink lights worked and it looked so pretty!!! it took some ppl a minute to get theirs set up, so the stadium kinda gradually lit up more and more and by the middle of the song it was fully lit! i swear i saw the exact moment where patrick realized what was going on and he smiled so big <3 i teared up so hard (was trying not to cry bc i had glitter on my face lol… i kinda cried anyway) and then pete gave us a shoutout! i’m def keeping my seashell on like… my wall or smth <3

also the covers!! that first song patrick did at the piano is lake shore drive, it’s actually what he was playing in that tiktok of him in the studio back in like… february! (it’s the piano thing right after the clip of him playing trumpet) my mom recognized it when i was watching that video originally and asked why he was playing it, so i already knew the song… was Not expecting it live tho 🤯 and then don’t stop believing?!?! we were all v confused but excited lmao… and then crazy train a bit later 😅

and pete did baby annihilation!! honestly when i said he could do it and i’d cheer, i did NOT expect him to actually do it lmaoo… but he did and it was fantastic!! hold me like a grudge was also incredibly fun, it goes so hard live <3 shoutout to the ppl who were doing the clapping during the bridge w me lol

every time patrick started talking he’d go “hi” in this soft voice and i was just like “HIIIII 🥺” AND HE WORE DOC MARTENS!!! AAAA 💓 he was so sunshiny and just skipping around like usual <3

OH ALSO!! idk what the other venues on this tour are like, but wrigley has this thing above the stage where they have a couple different flags, and all except one of them were changed out to be the smiley face logo!! it reminded me of when they planted their flag in the lftos music video and i got emotional looking at it 😭 like. they did it!! and it’s so obvious they’re excited to be doing all this!! ur gonna have an absolute blast at your show for Sure!

(the openers were fucking amazing too, i totally didn’t process that tai was playing until literally right before they came onstage. and then they covered snakes on a plane and were like “iykyk” and i very nearly died lmao)

(alsooooo congrats on finishing ur first year of college!! happy stardust summer! mwah 💕)

- 🧋 anon

SOOO sorry to be answering this a couple days later tumblr never showed me i got it!!!!! ANYWAYS

ohhhhh my god it sounds like it was such a fantastic like. incredibly special concert, i'm so happy for u!!! the setlist and the set itself literally blew my mind as i was watching a livestream of the show like????? my god they really pulled out ALLL the stops while also keeping the classics on there, really a setlist to please Everyone i think?? also w the set like. all the animatronic stuff and different backgrounds and everything. patrick was Not kidding when he said this show was visually different than anything they'd ever done before i am. SOOOO impressed. actually both by that and the stardust project, i remember something similar happened for mania tour and it was really pretty (kept my cutouts and still have them!!!) so im VERY glad it's happening this time for fake out <333 they deserve to see all of our love in every way possible <333

SO interesting that that's what he was playing on that tiktok omg he was practicing for so longggggg.... insane that ur show got a special lil piano mashup and then last night he did what a time to be alive.... so curious to see if its wattba forever now or if that's gonna be different each night Too!!!

and YEAHHH baby annihilation being on the setlist is making me soooo ;__; every time i think abt it im sooooo proud of pete for like. being confident enough to do That in front of thousands of people. also made me so happy to see patrick skipping around stage in his slay lil outfit like all four of them were SOOO happy u could tell i just. god i love them, they DID it they had their lil flag planted and played such a good show. last nights show was no doubt so good and special too from every video i've seen i just. i Know this tour is gonna be the tour of a lifetime, im SOOO excited for my show and also so glad urs was such a wonderful time and experience like u got so many special lil things!!! ginasfs and snakes on a plane etc!!!!!!!!! loved hearing all of this <33333

#augh this made me somehow even more excited for my show!!! #also thank u!!!! happy stardust summer to U as well <3 mwah #asks #🧋anon

[bright-and-burning]

same anon, i hope you're feeling better! - brothers are the worst for staying in touch! like my sister still won’t follow me back on spotify (it’s bad for her brand…🙄) but at least she answers my texts with more than one word answers! and it totally is different when it’s younger siblings moving away! when i left i was still in my angsty teen phase and i knew my siblings were safe with my parents. now they’re technically adults and living on their own. even when i went back to visit they never had much time for me and i was the one staying at home while they were off with their friends. it feels like yesterday we were fighting over wii remotes😭it’s hard to watch them grow up

i really like seeing your personal posts, i feel like i really relate (especially with the family stuff). we’ve been mutuals for a while but i still feel awkward just randomly messaging people. sorry for the random anons haha

THE ITS BAD FOR MY BRAND LMFAO DO WE HAVE THE SAME FAMILY OR ARE YOUNGER SISTERS JUST LIKE THAT EVERYWHERE

right like it’s BONKERS that they r allowed to vote… what do u mean they are taller than me now . i thought they were two apples tall… and the staying at home while they’re off w their friends SOOO real lol. bc i went to college out of state and the only ppl from hs i Really stayed close to went to school a few hours from my hometown like i come home/would come home and my siblings are like cheers im going out ill be back by 3am and im like ?????? im gonna have a glass of wine and read a book w the dog . i guess

the wii remote memories… forcing them to disconnect theirs so i could be player one… that time i gave my brother a concussion playing wii tennis trying to get an ace….

and thank u beloved anon that is genuinely so sweet of u pls don’t apologize… i always feel kinda weird personal posting sm bc i feel like it’s usually like eight posts in one day and it’s always like . sorry i am not bejng silly goofy abt the silly goofy men i am having a Time And A Half… but i’m glad to hear u relate (glad is maybe not the right word choice here but . u kno) <3 we are all less alone than we think we are.

#and feel free to send me a message PLEASE!!!! i love making new friends i am an extrovert chatting is sooooo fun to me #i’ll talk abt ANYTHING too . send me a post u think is funny. or a silly fic idea or a book rec or literally anything . #you could pull up in my dms like ‘guess what aunt mary did this time’ and i’d probably be like omg is she up to no good again… #i hop in dms all day long it has gotten me so many places and made me so many cool friends . #so if i knew who u are best believe i would hop RIGHT in #but also if u r more comfortable feel free to keep dropping anons these have truly made my day u r so sweet #ask

[bigjimbopickens]

Hi! I wanna say I love your art first of all! I just read the message under your last post about Kevin’s art video and you said you’re mostly self taught - I’m curious about how you get into that? I’d love to learn to draw but have no idea where to start!

Sorry for getting back to this so late I am not as active on Tumblr. And yes, I am mostly self-taught because of my circumstances growing up. To those who don't know, I am SnowfallWarning/Big Jimbo and I am currently an animation student. I do 2D animation, concept art and character design and I graduate this year (hopefully). I am disabled both physically and mentally which is why I mostly do digital art. I have a coordination disorder (dyspraxia) and am blind in one eye but that doesn't stop me. For my entire childhood I was discouraged from drawing as I apparently wouldn't go anywhere with it or that I was terrible. Where I lived most of my life had no opportunities for someone like me so I had to leave to continue pursuing art. Because of the poor access, the only things I had was notebooks, school supplies and an old iPad mini to draw with growing up. I learned everything I currently know now from using those. I don't know what got me into drawing still, may have been Warrior Cats and dinosaurs. Like what Jose said in Kevin's video, art comes from the soul. It is human expression and we've always been doing it. Anyone can be an artist and we all start somewhere, trust me. Here's some stuff I usually tell people because I do get asked this often (I'm also not the best teacher): 1: Experiment. Find what works for you. Be messy with it, not every piece needs to be perfect. If you are a digital artist then also trying different programs can be helpful too. Maybe you're better at drawing landscapes, characters or abominations that defy God. 2: Use references if necessary. Not sure why for a while it was considered "cheating" to use references. Everyone in the industry uses references, I would know. If you also want, you can try tutorials but I found I learn more from references. 3: Take inspiration. I'm always adding things I see in other people's art to my own style if I like it. Though try not to copy them. 4: Tracing. I believe tracing is okay for learning purposes. It's how I learned to draw humans after doing exclusively furry art for years tbh. I tend to stick to real-life references for this, this is a great site for practice: https://line-of-action.com (if you're not okay with nudity then do remember to turn that off). "But where do I even start?" Grab a piece of paper and pencil (or open a blank canvas on a digital art program if you prefer that) and just start doodling whatever. If you have an idea then go for that as well. Every class I've had in college so far has started with drawing and rendering a bunch of shapes to see where everyone was at and to get a feel of our styles. So maybe try that too. Draw random shapes with different materials/brushes, colour them in and add details like shadows and highlights. I know it seems ridiculous but I do it every once in a while to experiment and try different methods. You probably won't improve overnight. Hell, it took me 7 years to get to where I currently am. A lot of people quit because they think they're not good enough when pretty much every artist is only proud of about 10% of their work. Definitely the case for me. Not every piece is going to be a masterpiece and the imperfections can be what makes it special, so please don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be discouraged because other artists may be better than you either, they've probably been doing it for longer. So please, if you are dedicated enough, keep trying. I'm sure you will get somewhere :) So basically, - Use whatever material you got and draw what comes to mind, even if it's terrible it is a great start. - Experiment with your style and/or materials. - Reference, take inspiration and trace for memory. - Don't give up but do take breaks to avoid burnout. - Try not to be intimidated by other artists, we also don't really know what we're doing tbh (and just as afraid of you as you are of us).

I hope that all made sense and was somewhat helpful :)