#dissociative thoughs

[mimikyu-chr]

Some days, DID looks like constant spacing out and never seeming fully there. Missed bits of conversations and a memory that doesn’t seem like it wants to work.

Sometimes it looks like talking to myself, constant internal noise and heightened sensory sensitivity.

Some days DID looks like being emotional for seemingly no reason, crying, laughing, anger over something I don’t know, emotional bleed-through from other alters.

Other days it just looks like severe PTSD. Avoidance, spacing out, needing help to ground myself. Flashbacks that I honestly can’t remember the triggers of, or remember the full event of, but that I know are flashbacks.

And sometimes it just looks like nothing at all. I seem put-together and relatively normal. You’d never know I had a dissociative disorder.

The day-to-day severity of my symptoms do not determine what mental illness I have. I still have DID and I still struggle with it whether you can see it or not.

#disabled #DID #dissociative disorder #dissociative system #traumagenic system #DID system #hc-DID system #madpunk #my symptoms change #my disorder dosent though #I’m still disabled when I can mask it #ellie.chr

[pezpenser205]

i know its overstated but being traumatized and living with this illness makes me a very conflicted person. i am both way too full and painfully empty. like every hole that should be empty is full and every hole that should be full is empty. like im both an empty shell and a bag full of bugs barely avoiding bursting at the seams. im simultaneously full of too many pieces of me and nobody at all. i am both 7 and centuries old. violent and meek. loudly quiet. i dont know what is wrong with me anymore.

#op #ill stop ranting though bc i really should be doing homework instead of pitying myself for hours on here #did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actually dissociative #dissociative system #dissociation #other specified dissociative disorder #osddid #osdd #osdd system #did osdd #systemtag #systag

[rbtlvr]

(text from this post, fic is little kid with a big death wish by @remedyturtles)

i'm genuinely not sure where to start here - ig first of all this fic is absolutely incredible and if you somehow haven't read it yet you absolutely should!

okay. man. rem, this fic means so so much to me and i'm so glad i got to be here for it. i think this is one of those fics that'll stick with me years down the line even if one day i'm not into tmnt anymore, one i'll come back to over and over again

your writing has touched so so many people myself very much included, and i just. want to thank you so much for writing this fic and thank you for sharing it. you're an amazing writer and an amazing person and i'm lucky to know you. i can't wait to see what you do next

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #little kid with a big death wish #my art #forgor all my tags its ok ill come back later <3 anyway #god theres legit so so so much more i wanted to say but i cant get. the words right augh #i kinda tried to put some of it in the comic though so. yeah. the emotions anyway #idk idk i just have a Lot of feelings abt this fic and how real it feels and just . man. it hits so so hard /pos #just... the fact that dw leo has been through everything he has and is capable of recovery and living. even if he doesnt want to live just #yet. hes getting there. makes me feel like i can too as cheesy as that sounds lajfd;lajlfkl #anyway ive rambled enough i spent ten (10) full days on this comic i am setting it loose into the world. be free #suicide attempt cw #dissociation cw #<- just to be safe. ask to tag if theres anything else lafj;dljsafkl

[thattheater-kid]

You know what’s wild about being a fictive? Missing your old life even though it was shitty because it’s a shittiness you were used to. The life you’re living now is a new kind of shitty that feels unpleasant in a different way.

#maybe it’s stupid to miss the life I had #it sucked #so much #I hated it actually #I prayed every night that I wouldn’t wake up the next morning and cried when I did #I’m still doing that tbh #this is a different kind of suck though #I want my old life back #those people were shitty but they were MY shitty people #maybe I just got used to the horrible conditions I was living in #and now I miss it even though it was horrible #just because it’s familiar to me #maybe it’s the difference between the physical discomfort I felt in my old life #vs the emotional discomfort I feel now #maybe I should talk to my therapist #or go to bed #did system #plural #plurality #actually plural #actually did #plural system #system things #dissociative system #fictive #fictives #fictive culture #system culture #plural culture

[sawtual]

some sketches of roe from bg3 <3 um she sucks AHDJFGKD

#roe #bg3 #shadowheart #mizora #karlach #art #wyll ravengard #also i know thats not the correct term for DID it was just the meme </3 im a believer in dissociative shadowheart though.

[starrynightteam]

OSDD system when they start to open up:

#this is why even though we rememember everything talking about it is still important #different alters cope with different ways #some alters might be completely detached from it and though they appear healthy they still deserve help #actually plural #actually dissociative #osdd 1b #osdd system #osdd1b #alters #actually osdd #osdd #osdd memes #did osdd #did memes

[uncanny-tranny]

Niche politics tip: If you start dissociating from politics so much it starts feeling like each side is akin to a football team or a game, you might need to take a step back in order to recuperate.

When you're so caught up in politics that you need to dissociate from the humanity of it in order to engage with politics, that's not a good sign. It's especially not a good sign when we are talking about human rights

#politics #it's especially weird when people treat your human rights as a game to 'win' regardless of how it affects you #there have been so many trans allies i've come across who treat trans rights as a game or a bargaining chip. and that's. kind of scary #this doesn't solely apply to trans rights but it's something i've encountered before #but i think a lot of people are so... desensitized? unaffected by horrible things that they genuinely dissociate from it #that's not a good thing though i think #in the long run it's for the best if you try avoiding this defense mechanism as much as possible... #...you are not the spawn of satan for stepping back to ground yourself back to earth... #...have you ever been on a plane where they tell you that in the event the plane goes down you put YOUR oxygen mask on first?... #...it's a similar principle when applied to politics... #...how exactly ARE you going to help like you want to and how others need when you are ground into dust? #and no this isn't 'be complicite!!!!' if people read it like that... #...this post is saying 'do not view people as a game to win because you are so desensitized to the horror around you'...

[reimeichan]

I was having a conversation with a friend, who started their own DID journey around the same time as me. Our recovery goals are different (they call their goal "the Zygarde method" which, if you've seen mention of the Wishiwashi method on this blog, has a lot of similarities to that), and we're in different places of recovery right now (they've very much reached functional multiplicity at this time and we have not), but it's been really nice to have someone grow with me side by side as we figure out our DID together.

We all know what integration and fusion is, right? Integration is the breaking down of dissociation between parts, fusion is when two parts become one part. But I've realized more and more that the nuances behind what "fusion" is may look different from system to system. For one system, fused parts think and act as one identity with no distinct parts. For another, fused parts are aware of the individual composite pieces of themselves and may even be aware of when a specific piece is the "most prominent" piece at that time. Still another system experiences fusion as being a conglomerate of pieces who, while still distinct, are all sharing thoughts and feelings and memories and opinions with each other and are so in sync they effectively seem to be one identity. And these are just a few examples of what "fusion" may look like.

I think it's beautiful how our experiences can be so different from each other yet there's still a sort of common thread tying all of this together into the same concept that we call "fusion". But I also think that how fusion has been talked about in DID spaces has been so limiting and seems to paint it as only one thing. No wonder some people are hesitant to pursue fusion if they believe it to be akin to losing the multiple parts into one larger part. I encourage people to try to expand their understanding of "fusion" and "identity" and "self", and try to understand what all of that means for you and your system.

#did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actuallydid #did osdd #osddid #cdd #did system #by gray #by cyan #by rose #I used all three of my colors even though I've been fused for a while now #because I want to make a point that they are still me #and I am them #fusion #wishiwashi method #zygarde method #final fusion #functional multiplicity

[emberglowfox]

closing time

#you know situation's dire when sparks breaks out the color block sona vent art LOOOOOOOL #sparks speaks #vent #again to all my new-ish followers i do post stuff like this from time 2 time PLEASE block one of those tags if you don't want to see it #long post #edit: fine to rb idgas #ummm NEway. i go back to college in like a month and the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. idk if i can do it again tbh lol #i dont know how i survived the first time #<- LYING he does. and it was by letting the dissociation he is currently bitching about swallow him completely #if i really committed and tried i could probably claw my way out of this. but there's really no point when i'll just fall back into it soon #the forgetting my entire life does suck though. it does suck. #its really cool learning you've lost the only thing you thought you couldn't lose. #anyways. i'm fine im chillin i just. needed to get this out #if youre reading this preciate you. drink water

[chris-spacehere]

So called free thinkers when the nation is under fucking attack

#not me though i stayed dissociating in my capsule #dream smp #quackity

[ever-go-on]

seeing traces of what might be another child part

#my posts #actually did #actually dissociative #i chalked them up to being an existing child having a unique trauma response but... hm. might not be #just like the last kid i identified this month ive known about their trauma responses and symptoms for a while just didnt think it might be+ #+a separate part. even though actually that does make sense #welcome to my brain we have many developed children and even more child fragments

[astralcities]

i should've staked him

#broadcast #bg3 #astarion #last line is sooo jawdropping. sorry. what ??? #< before anyone gets on my dick: I know he is complex and traumatized. i don't need to be told twice. it's a joke it's a j #i'm aware he could be lying (even though there's no devnote specifying it). i'm aware dissociating from emotion is a trauma response #still a crazy thing to say out loud

[luxieloo16]

being a trans system is telling your friends "hey guys please use he/him for me strictly" and then immediately switching to the alter who has been trying out she/her pronouns

#love; wally #system #dissociative system #did #sysblr #osddid #osdd #LIKE. AWKWARD #i love lying though so who cares

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

DAVE: do you think the army men in toy story came like preprogrammed with horrible memories of a war they never really fought in or did andys play create those memories

DAVE: like do they come out of the bucket quietly rocking muttering about hill 40 or did andy force them to kill

JOHN: …….gonna be thinking about that one. :(

#submission #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #dave strider #john egbert #mod terezi #i would say they weren't aware or had any imprinted history #mostly because from what we can tell none of the toys up until buzz lightyear had this crisis of identity #maybe they did but it we didn't see any of it and none of it is ever mentioned #and every buzz lightyear toy we see is affected by this dissociative state upon first awakening #but we also see zurg affected by this who-though he is not buzz- is of a similar make and quality #so my theory is that simpler toys with less complex internals and “programming” are not prone to this #but ones who do have internal hardware are the ones who are swayed by it most easily

[thattheater-kid]

If you ever wonder why your parents can’t figure out that you’re a system, keep in mind that my parents ignored my sudden ability to cook and my brother calling me Alastor because the jambalaya “I” made was really good and they were really hungry and didn’t want to cook because it was late. Parents are human, they will see whatever is easiest.

#especially if the food is good enough #‘this is sketchy af but no one broke in and the food is bomb so I’ll let it slide this time’ #still can’t believe we got away with that though #like how did I not get immediately brought to a psychologist #how good was that food #did system #plural #plurality #actually plural #actually did #plural system #system things #dissociative system

[theelectricalcity]

sighs

Me? Be from a really obscure source? Nah, I'm just limited edition

#🐼🩺 #Though seriously #I don't even know anyone who *knows* my source haha #system memes #system stuff #fictive #fictive stuff #introject #osdd did #osdd memes #did memes #actually did #did alter #did system #did osdd #osddid #actually dissociative #endos dni