#don't you know that you're toxic

[mello-jello]

i'm gettin addicted to u i think i should deactivate from tumblr

Honestly, that's wise 💅

#ask jello #flirty anons #i'm addicted to you #don't you know that you're toxic

[breakbeatbun]

#10k notes #ok. clearly y'all don't know what 'reblog the other version' means it does not mean 'screenshot/copy these tags' smfh #also some of you people are pure toxic about something as innocent as learning how a different website works #'omg that's so cringe' 'ew i can't belive new users are doing this' i can. grow up. #i made this post as a fun little joke and i regret it now bc where y'all aren't annoying as hell you're needlessly cruel

[inkskinned]

maybe i'm a bitch but if i hear you go out of your way to judge someone's weight, i immediately lose trust in you & will probably forever find you a little unbearable . yes also the little floating bar over my head will start reading [hostile]. this is natural and u caused it.

#IF you do the therapy to stop being an asshole and make a POINT of being like #''i used to be a jerk about this but now i'm not'' #..... we can reevaluate .... #btw i hope this doesn't need explanation and everyone can be normal on this post #and not be like #what if i am a DOCTOR and i was aSKED #like we all know what i'm referring to here #you're like in target and lizzo is playing in the background and they're like #DID YOU NOTICE THAT LIZZO IS FAT? #or ur on instagram and like some dude's comment is like #NICE ART BUT WHY ARENT YOU THIN #like .... okay we get it. we get it . go to sleep . go to therapy. bye. #ALSO BTW i am in recovery for an ED and im saying this AS someone with Brain Problems #pls do not clown on this and be like ''actually i'm allowed to be rude and judgemental'' #no u aren't. none of us are. having an ED is not a pass for being a fucking dick #it can make you ACT like a dick. that isn't something you should be proud of or seek to continue #hence.... therapy!!!!!!!! #i know it's kind of controversial to say it but frankly i don't believe in infantilizing mental illness #by being like ''oh they can't help themselves'' #bc that kind of thinking is .... unbelievably toxic lmafo #you might not be able to control your split-second thoughts/judgements #i have ocd i understand #but like. . . .. you know #we both know #this post is not about ''u blurted something u regret'' #this post is about. THAT GUY

[inconclusionray]

If I see one more "poor Izzy was in an abusive relationship for twenty years :'(" take I'm going to set this pirate ship on fire.

#you don't get to erase the gorgeous fucked up mutual toxicity of their consent-free sadomasochist trauma survival relationship on MY watch #they SAVED EACH OTHER and MADE EACH OTHER and FUCKED EACH OTHER UP and it was so so bad it was sooooo gooooooooood #like i know disk horse has trained us to think there can only be The Abuser and The Abused and one is always bad and one is always blameless #but babies sometimes relationships are fucked up and when it's fictional it can be so gorgeous like come on #izzy got so hard when fed his toe I'm surprised he didn't have an aneurysm and die right then #if you're gonna claim him as queer then let him be QUEER not an uwu sanitized self insert okay? #he was fine with losing his toe he wasn't fine with losing his playmate #and blackbeard came back WRONG #this thing the two of them created this fucked up dangerous pirate game called blackbeard wasn't about belonging anymore #it wasn't about the two of them surviving the cruelty of their former captain or the worse cruelty of civilized society #it was a caricature and it had to die #and it did in the end #and Izzy realized he didn't need it anymore #and Ed didn't need it #and he was so so happy about it #that was worth dying for #ugh I'm so in love with this story #anyway Izzy wasn't abused & he was abused & he was an abuser & he saved Edward & they were so bad for each other & they loved each other #learn to love complicated fucked up harmful problematic things babies #because you are one #and you deserve love too

[fernlessbastard]

hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl

Yeah no based true real no questions asked

I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)

But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)

#i deeeefinitely have no reason to have strong feelings about bpd bitches deserving love and care and stability ha ha nooo it's definitely- #-not like I've been dating one for well over 4 years now and even though we've been through so much shit together and I still can't- #-understand why people with bpd and conditions that have similar symptoms are so demonised. It just makes no sense to me. #my bf is the love of my life and i can't imagine /not/ supporting it through all the splitting and episodes and all of that cause they're- #-absolutely worth everything #i don't know not to be too gay on main but tbf it's too late now anyway i think-- #is it unstable? sure. but it's also the most caring and loving person i've ever been close with and it always makes sure i'm ok #and it loves me so undeniably deeply no matter what purely for who i am #i've never had anyone care about me this much and this genuinely and this unconditionally - it'd always be what /they/ can get out of /me/ #but my boyfriend just cares about me - the actual me - no matter if i'm acting how it imagined i'd act. what matters is if i'm /me/ #listen bpd isn't sunshine and rainbows - we've been through some TERRIBLE shit (including s-cide attempts) #but when people claim it makes a relationship toxic/abusive it's so stupid cause ultimately with mutual love support and reassurance- #-and professional help you can have a genuinely happy and healthy life with someone with bpd #love isn't mean to be easy. it's meant to be safe and supportive and genuine but a relationship always takes effort and work on both sides #you should never sacrifice your well being of course! #but when love takes effort and extra care it doesn't inherently mean it's unhealthy or toxic or abusive. it just means you're people. #tldr if you love someone then don't care about some diagnosis - care about the actual perso. #ask #asks #ask fern #tntduo #dsmp #tnt duo #wilbur soot #quackity #quackbur #dream smp #tntblr #c!quackbur #c!tntduo

[usagi-zakura]

I caught the whole gang...then I took them on a picnic so they could work out their differences... they seem to get along fine!

#pokémon scarlet and violet #The teal mask spoilers #the teal mask #the loyal three #ogerpon #okidogi #fezandipiti #munkidori #I also realized something curious... #the loyal three are all male and Ogerpon is female... #if I was still a child that would not have stopped my belief that most boys are bullies... #cuz a lot of my classmates were.. #I still named the bird Britney though... cuz don't you know that you're toxic? #Munkidori is Mr Mackey because of the noise he makes #Okidogi is Chonkydog #and Ogerpon is Ponyo

[rosetta-j-stone]

All video footage of Joker Out, ever:

#joker out #they are carpe-ing each other every diem and we love that for them #they're like “toxic masculinity who? i don't know her” #“are you even friends if you're not constantly touching base if you know what i mean”

[nyxofdemons]

i think what it comes down to with shows like helluva boss and the fact that antis are allllllways complaining about it being "toxic" and "romanticizing unhealthy relationships" is that like. that's the point. like i truly don't get how you don't understand that that is the point. i like toxic romance in fiction. i like complicated messy unhealthy dynamics. i like characters who are flawed and hypocritical and bad people.

listen, there are some genuine criticisms to be made about this show, but ultimately so much of what it actually is in this fandom is just... people hating on it for being an adult show. the characters are, largely, not good people! you're not supposed to idolize and aspire to be like them! like sorry that you've only consumed escapist children's media for so long that you believe that all protagonists are supposed to be self-inserts but you are actually supposed to disagree with some of their actions and behaviors for this one. and claiming the show is "romanticizing abuse" just because it portrays an unhealthy relationship (that neither party is happy with!!!) is just. downright conservative and functionally puritan lmao

like. have you never read a whump fic. have you never watched a "dark" show. portraying unhealthy behaviors =/= condoning those behaviors in real life. i truly do not know how to make this any clearer for you

#im absolutely convinced that the venn diagram containing hb antis and people who say that huck finn condones/glorifies racism is a circle #like. do you actually need this show to hold your hand and explain which parts youre not supposed to want to enact in real life. #if you're upset that there's no scene where someone looks directly at the camera and says 'hey guys just so you know this scene is about #how this thing is Bad and Not Good; and the consequences im about to experience is to show you how it's Bad and Not Good' then #im sorry but i don't think you should be watching this show #i could get into themes of abuse in this show and that whole topic but that is. a whooooole other post i have THOUGHTS about that one #anyways. i love toxic relationships in fiction i love watching characters fall ass first into problems that are absolutely their own fault #helluva boss #mine

[heretherebedork]

Having all of this happen so quickly and with so many flashbacks but not the taxi fear flashback is fascinating. Because I think a lot of this is Day's fear of the person he sees himself as in memories he has and how he can remember how he feels in those moments but it feels totally alien to him.

He loves Itt but he doesn't trust his own emotions and so he keeps fighting with his own feelings and that creates this dichotomy of how much he is remembering their relationship and his love but not remembering himself. And the fully clothed shower? Yeah. There's a lot going on as he slowly regains memories and bits and pieces of the person he became.

Right now, Day is in an inbetween, between who he was and who he became and who he is and that has turned him, in a lot of ways, into a monster. And he is awful and he is being awful on purpose because he looks at what he had, what he has, and he doesn't believe it because it doesn't make sense.

And the show isn't shying away from how awful he's being and how everyone else sees that and how the people around them are telling him he's wrong and are protecting Itt as much as he'll let them and it's an interesting examination of how far people will go for love even when it's actively hurting them.

#love syndrome 3 #love syndrome #bl drama #bl series #thai bl #thai drama #thai series #thaibl #thai bl series #toxic relationship #but at least everyone knows it's toxic #and everyone is upset about it #i appreciate that #i just don't like the romantization of toxic relationships #but you give me one where everyone knows and the show just says deal with it? #i am down #problematic is totally fine as long as you know what you're doing

[keefechambers]

Grog Strongjaw & Arkhan the Cruel in C1E114-115 & Jocks Machina

Vex: You seem to like him a lot. Are you sure you want to kill him and not just try and get -

#~i'm addicted to you but you know that you're toxic~ #grog strongjaw #critical role #vox machina #CR gifs #arkhan the cruel #arkhan x grog #campaign 1 spoilers #jocks machina #i'm sorry we don't talk enough about how arkhan's big exit moment is him maintaining INTENSE eye contact with specifically grog #sword of kas

[unforth]

Y'all (general) really really need to exercise the block buttons more.

An opinion you don't agree with? Someone makes you uncomfortable? Something you don't like? Even just a person whose way of presenting information makes you uncomfortable (even if you agree with them)?

Block.

BLOCK.

B.L.O.C.K.

Look, I get it. I used to think seeing opinions I didn't agree with was important, that exposing myself was a way of staying informed. But finally, I hit a breaking point - I already knew the viewpoints I disagreed with, and seeing them every day was making me miserable.

I've blocked liberally since then.

And the most remarkable thing happened: I routinely see posts where lots of people are disagreeing with the same person...and I already have that person blocked.

Because the most insidious thing about letting myself see the negativity and things that made me unhappy all the time is that leaving it all there gave me the impression that there were a LOT of vocally awful people saying things that hurt me.

But there aren't.

There's actually a surprisingly small number of people who get off on trolling or are so marinated in hate that they have to spew it all around them, and when you block those people, the world gets much more peaceful.

You're not growing as a person by exposing yourself to rhetoric that hurts you. You're just hurting, which is exactly how those people want you to feel: they want you to be in as much agony as they are.

Don't give them the satisfaction.

BLOCK THEM.

(tbh I've hit the point that I think people who willfully, deliberately, loudly, intentionally don't block are engaging in a form of self-harm. seriously, you're not taking a noble stand, no one cares if you don't block except the people hurting you.)

#unforth rambles #my mutuals all know this so i'm preaching to the choir #did i see a bad jiang cheng take again #yes yes i did #but specifically i saw a bad jiang cheng take triggered by anti deciding to vent stupidity instead of blocking the things they didn't like #and then a stan engaging instead of also blocking #both these people would be happier if they blocked #like antis you do realize if you hate a character your best bet is to block the people who love them right #sorry the back and forth is just exhausting #i blocked the anti #and i almost blocked the pro too #stop engaging it's pointless just do your own thing and block the people who you don't agree with #it's not creating an echo chamber #i promise you're not a better person because you let the same terf or anti or racist or whoever #expose you to their toxicity over and over #you've already given them a hearing by reading their first drivel ya know the one that led you to block them #if you know enough to know they're terrible why would you want to give them a hearing on literally any other topic #block and move on #there are so many better people out there who are actually worth your time and energy

[coockie8]

I don't know what anti needs to hear this, but a ship having the occasional argument, sometimes insulting each other, and having *gasp* sex every now and again is not "toxic", that's called an average, human relationship.

Sorry, but I see antis who brag about how "problematic and toxic" their blog is, while having a several miles-long DNI full of anything and everything that could even be remotely "problematic" way too often, and it's like what, exactly, are you defining as "toxic and problematic" here, when all the actual "toxic and problematic" themes are in your DNI????

#news flash: you *might* be riddled with toxic positivity #it's not ''toxic'' to have an argument with your partner sometimes #it *becomes* toxic if screaming at each other is literally the only way you can communicate #but having a fight and saying things you don't mean when you're angry is a normal part of being in a relationship #so is sex by the way! #no not everyone needs sex to have a healthy relationship #but a lot of people do! #I know this may come as a surprise for you but sex is a pretty massive form of intimacy for a huge number of people #and that's coming from someone to who sex is *not* particularly intimate! #like I'm demi I could 100% do without sex in my relationship it is not the be all end all #but I also understand that sex as a form of physical intimacy is very important to a lot of people #and there is literally *nothing* wrong with that you're just a fucking puritan #just anti things #anti bs #proship #trash king vents

[herrmit]

not to start shit but. tell me you didn't understand princess jellyfish without telling me you didn't understand princess jellyfish

#idk idk something about the lines we draw to divide women being ultimately useless as they degrade both sides #something something bridging gaps between people with different interests #something something literal actual sisterhood and solidarity between women #i'm never one to defend tiktok i'm not even on there and it surprises me that princess jellyfish is being brought up #but like. what is this supposed to mean. to 'tiktokify' something #girlboss narrative what hello? what? you're throwing words at me and i don't know what they mean #but it's hilarious that this post comes off as something the sisterhood would have posted before all their character development #because this is a story about empowerment not through appearance- but that inner change is what beauty is made of #the development tsumiki and the other members of the sisterhood get is not that now they dress well #but that their often self-imposed isolation is not an antidote to os being ostracized in high school and having social anxiety #and that they've dehumanized other women in the process of defending themselves #and it's not that they have to change who they are of their interests but that they full accept themselves and can therefore #be comfort with who they are #and better navigate the world. and form friendships . and human connection and FUCK #like what are you talking about #sorry i know no one here follows me for princess jellyfish takes but that's what we're gonna get today #i think when you have a fandom / readership as small as pj (in the west at least) every bad take hits that much harder lmao #anyway. kuranosuke princess rights. we are all princesses. etc etc #princess jellyfish #kuragehime #screeds #screeds fR FR #txt #i didn't want to tag this person or show their name bc it ain't personal i just want to address takes like these . #“girl's girls are toxic” “not like other girls are toxic” what if we were all princesses idk. what if we loved each other

[maybebabyplease]

on ‘professional jealousy’ in your not-so-professional hobbies

really great essay here about professional jealousy, something i think about a lot with my fiction writing. most of my real-life fiction writing friends are older and more talented and more published than me, and sometimes it really stings to see them succeed in a way that i want to succeed, even when i know they deserve it and want to spend all my energy being happy for them. this feeling can bleed into your friendships and relationships, but i think it’s something everyone experiences. and thus, we ought to talk about it! 

in fanfic, as in original fiction, you’re putting a piece of yourself out into the world to be judged (conversations on the validity of fanfic criticism/rating/ranking aside, the reality is that people will continue to do it either way) and the reactions to your work are likely to be different than the reactions to your friends’ and peers’ work. the subject of ‘professional jealousy’, or as the essay deems it, disappointment, applies here just as much as it does to original fiction.

i find that i see a lot of posts about fanfic that imply that it’s somehow ‘bad’ to care about the success of your fic, defining success as the number of hits or kudos or comments or whatever digit puts you ahead of someone else. certainly, there are many reasons to write fanfiction. but i consider it to be a little disingenuous to act like no one cares (or is allowed to care) about whether or not people read their fic. 

to me, storytelling is at its core a search for human connection. fanfiction seeks this same thing, this connection with readers and other writers, and perhaps with more intensity. we are obsessed with these characters, and these stories, and these tropes. we want to find other people who share our obsessions. we want to connect. i think this is clear in the tags people continually search on ao3, in the ask boxes of tumblr users who like to discuss headcanons and hot takes, on the works pages of writers who create for their one favorite ship over and over again. it’s a really gorgeous thing, the way we all love what we do, and the way we love it together.

it’s natural to want to connect over your stories. you’d be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t get a little thrill at that email notification from ao3, letting you know that someone laughed or cried or screamed over something you created. it’s normal to appreciate this feeling and it’s normal to want more of it. i do personally find that the best and most satisfying fanfiction is the fic you write for yourself, but i have also found great joy in the two or three comments on the fics i thought no one would read, because it’s so special to find people who enjoy the specific things you enjoy. i’m not necessarily unhappy with lesser-read fics of mine; i love them all equally and i’m proud of each one. but i can’t sit here and say that i wouldn’t be thrilled if more people found them and loved them and left comments about a particular trope i love or a joke i thought i was so funny for writing. humans are an inherently social species, and those moments of connection are valuable even when you’re doing something just for yourself.

you can write for yourself and still want people to read it. you can write for yourself and still be disappointed when your fic doesn’t do as well as someone else’s, or even as well as one of your own previous fics. you can be happy with what you’ve written, and still wish it was as ‘popular’ as another fic you love. i think we need to create space for this particular disappointment, because people will continue to feel this way about their work. and i’m not saying we all ought to go screaming about it on our blogs, as that seems to lead to people tearing down other more popular works, which is not the intention of opening this discussion.

the essay suggests having a friend with whom you can express disappointment and know you’ll get an appropriate reaction. luckily, fanfiction has (at least in my experience) led to an incredible community of kind, empathetic people who likely share your exact interests. so this advice works perfectly in the land of fic. perhaps you have a friend who writes for a different ship than you, or even a different fandom altogether. perhaps you have a friend who writes the exact same types of stories of you, but who particularly understands the way you feel. or, perhaps you have a friend who doesn’t read fic at all who can be a totally unbiased sounding board. 

no matter what, don’t be afraid to share your disappointment! it’s not something that has to be shameful. you can write fanfic for all the ‘right’ reasons and still get disappointed. you’re only human.

(i’d love to have conversations about this -- i know lots of people that i like and respect have different opinions about ‘success’ in the world of fanfic and comparing yourself to ‘more popular’ writers and the tiktokification of fic, which i do feel like relates here but did not want to get into. hit the comments on this post or my dms or whatever! i love to DISCUSS!) (essay linked again here for viz)

#em speaks #on writing #on disappointment #on fanfiction #also even if you don't want to read my thoughts you should read this essay #it is so good #and so valuable #i wish people talked more about negative emotions #i am anti toxic positivity #sometimes you're just fucking JEALOUS and that is a-ok!!!!! #also this is about writing bc that's what i know but #it could apply to visual art too i'm sure

[cookinguptales]

so i sent all these asks and i'd just like to clarify i never said nandor was evil. i just don't like the reception that an arc about guillermo is getting from fandom which is to overfocus on nandor and to villainize guillermo. and again i didn't call him evil but the toxic label is thrown around very easily about unhealthy/co-dependent ship which nandermo is but it's also a ship that has one party (nandor) emotionally abusing the other. that doesn't mean it's gonna remain that way

well, anon, I don't want you to feel like I'm mischaracterizing you, so here's I guess a post of screenshots of all the asks you've sent me in the last 24 hours.

you don't. have to follow me. you understand that right?

I've been cheerfully villainizing Guillermo, my favorite character in the world, for years now. I am a ground-floor Guillermo villainizer. I love how villainous he is. It's thrilling. Really feels like he's finally coming into his own, villain-wise. He finally has enough power to ruin vampiric lives in addition to the human ones he's been ruining since episode 1, and I love that for him.

You seem to be reading me saying they're all irredeemable assholes as nihilistic rather than gleeful, so maybe there's a fundamental miscommunication here? To be very clear, I think them all being assholes is very fun. I like watching them all emotionally destroy each other and then build each other back up again. I like how dysfunctional literally every relationship in the show is. I like to use my tumblr to study these guys like weird little lovingly cannibalistic bugs.

I love Guillermo and want him to be in the exact relationship he has earned, and -- this part is super fun for me personally -- he is! For better or for worse, this is the exact relationship he has chosen with his shitty and yet very loving actions. I'm really enjoying things just the way they are. Their complex power dynamics make me absolutely feral. It's only fun for me because Guillermo has the power to hold his own and hurt Nandor right back.

I have written probably like 300k+ words of fic and an unknown but probably ungodly amount of meta on that subject, and I intend to keep doing so, pretentious or not. That's how I have fun here.

So like. This is just not the fandom environment for you, maybe? And that's fine. You should be doing fandom in a way that's fun for you, too.

Not really sure what you want from me here. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#the ship IS toxic and I love it that way #(don't know why that word bothers you so much; abuse and toxicity are not mutually exclusive) #sorry anon #I really feel like you should probably just unfollow me though it doesn't feel like you're having a good time #replies #wwdits tag

[echoes-lighthouse]

I will never be over people who prefer to make a canonically fucked up and abusive relationship into a 'uwu great father figure and their innocent little bean' rather than people who lean into the disturbing shit and make it romantic.

Like, yes, both are valid approaches and both of them are also fucked up approaches but the fact that one of them tends to get all holier-than-thou about it will always make me crack up.

#also the 'great father figure' one makes me worried #i'm like 'you know that isn't actually good right?' #whereas the people writing the fucked up romance shit #i'm like 'yeah you know you're writing something toxic i don't have to worry about you' #anyways #this is specifically about black butler and skulduggery pleasant #but i'm sure there are other instances #proship #ask to tag #i'm not sure what the content warning here would be #cw age gap #i guess? #fandom wank #fandom negativity #negativity #feeling spicy might delete this later :P #tw discourse #discourse mention