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adviceformefromme · 3 years

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I’m currently on a weight loss transformation journey and I’m struggling with trying to not see myself as the ugly fat friend. For as long as I can remember I’ve felt invisible. Do you have any tips on how to stop neglecting myself🥺

Steps for weight loss / body confidence level up: 1. Be prepared to put in the work, you have to really commit to yourself, to growing you, to pushing yourself to do one thing to move you forward every single day. Once you get into momentum, you will be on a role. 2. Mirror work, start looking in the mirror and learning to accept and love what you see, going from ‘I'm worthless' to ‘I love me, I'm amazing' might be too much of a big jump so spending time when you get out the shower repeating ‘i am learning to love the body i am in’ chant this to yourself. 3. Instead of focusing on all the weight you want to loose, break it down. Can you loose x amount in one week? Can I not eat x food for one day/ one week? Focus on small achievable goals and over time you'll succeed. Progress is defined by what you do each day. When you do any exercise/ movements, start whispering to yourself words of motivation. As your body moves, and you repeat / chant words of empowerment, they infiltrate your energy and subconscious mind. Words such as ‘i am enough, i am worthy’, as simple as they are, they have the power to heal your life. if you stuck with these two words, and literally repeated them as you move your body for even 5 mins you would start to mentally feel different. 4. Prayer, this is a big one - whoever you believe in God / Universe / Allah, ask for help in shifting these beliefs, pray for release of this negativity. The answers, the help will come, and it will show up in different ways, it might be through a new friend that inspires you, or a book that appears when you go to the story, a film you watch that changes your perspective. more on that.. 5. I recommend watching 'I am pretty’ with Rebel Wilson, she mentally shifts out of thinking she is fat and ugly to thinking she is the hottest thing on earth, and see how the universe responds to her. It's not about how you look it's about how you feel. 6. Remove all toxic / low vibe energy from your life, this could look like friends you don’t feel confident around, family members, social media accounts, literally remove everything that's not empowering you. Create space, distance yourself. Your level up will require time and effort, do you really want to waste precious energy hanging out with women who don’t elevate you? This is also about self respect. Stepping into the empowered woman that you are. Respect your time, your energy. Let go of anything and anyone that doesn’t mirror the life you want to live. 7. Create a vision. Write down the emotions you want to feel as the new you, how do you feel when you look in the mirror? When you walk down the street? When you are with your man? When you are with your friends? Get crystal clear on this vision. Focus on feeling these emotions in the now. Youtube guided visualisation meditations, learn about scripting as a tool to manifest, writing out your dreams. 8. Create time each morning for your level up. This doesn't have to be a task, this should be something special for you. Where you light your favourite candle, pull out your journal, write words of love to yourself, write your dreams, focus on your future vision, do a little mediation, sip your favourite hot drink, slowly. If you can’t do this each morning, maybe try a Sunday, at least once a week. Read books on people who have paved the path for you, women who have overcome weight-loss, body image struggles. Learn from these people and use them to inspire you. 9. Start watching empowering videos on youtube, find a mentor, Someone in real life or on social (this can be someone who's teachings resonate with you and you learn from them). 10. Literally draw a cup, with pen and paper and write all the things that fill you with joy. Focus your energy on these things in the cup. Your cup of love is your guidance. it can be anything, long baths, swimming, watching films on x topic, whatever you love, write it in your cup and start pouring your energy into those things. 11. Get familiar with the broken record that's replaying the same sentences in your mind over and over again ‘i'm worthless, i'm stupid, i'm unwanted, i'm fat, etc etc’ this is just an untrained mind running wild. You need to take back control. You need to see these thoughts for what they are, just thoughts. They are not the truth. Once you’re aware of your stories, the broken record, you’ll know when it starts playing without falling into the trap of the stories. 12. Mediation. I can’t preach enough about how much this will change your life, even 5 mins per day using an app or guided or just in silence. Meditation stills your mind with practise. And with the stillness, space is created. With this space you can start to notice throughout the day when old stories come up, it gives you the choice to choose better thoughts because your mind is no longer on auto pilot. 13. Find healers, reiki healers, inner child healers, therapists, eft (emotional freedom tapping). Attend sound baths, go to meditation centres. Completely drown yourself in self growth and level up. 14. Spend time in nature. Get out of your phone. Nature is going to help you reconnect to your true essence, nature is wild, it’s beautiful, its delicate, rugged, powerful, gentle. Mother nature is our healer on earth. Spending time on long walks, hikes, at the beach, even in the park with the phone in the pocket just looking up at the sky.

#rising levelup manifest lawofattraction hypergamy goddessenergy queenmoves #liveyourdreams manifest #weightloss #body goals #confidence #selfmastery advice levelup #empoweredfeminine growth levelupresources adviceformefromme

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shemakesmusic-uk · 3 years

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HARD FEELINGS, the new collaborative project of Hot Chip's Joe Goddard and Amy Douglas, have signed to Domino and unveiled their debut outing 'Holding On Too Long' which is teamed with a Katie Paul-directed video. Douglas says of their debut single, "'Holding On Too Long' is the common denominator of the entire musical union of Amy and Joe. In this "opera of sad bangers" here is its key aria, its "Un Bel Di" from Madame Butterfly or the "Mad Scene" from Lucia Di Lammermour, the unforgettable moment of the story wherein our heroine stands up defiantly and has her moment to wail, scream and cry her pain and fury centre stage to the world." HARD FEELINGS was formed after Goddard reached out to Douglas on Twitter after hearing her work, and simply asking: "Amy, can we make a thing?" [via Line Of Best Fit]

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After recently announcing her debut album Flaw Flower is due June 25 via Illegal Data, London-based musician Harriet Zoe Pittard, aka Zoee, is sharing another slice of her multi-faceted art-pop sounds with her new single'Host'. Speaking about the track, Zoee said "‘Host’ describes the disconcertingly replicant-like nature of a once starry-eyed lover who becomes increasingly detached. The video is inspired by The Twilight Zone and was shot on location in a forest close to where I grew up in Berkshire."

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Nashville-based songwriter Madi Diaz releases 'Nervous,' a new single about recognizing unhealthy coping mechanisms. The song’s frank lyrics are bellied by infectious guitar and Diaz’s buoyant voice: “I know why I lie to myself // I’m not really looking to get healthy // I have so many perspectives I’m losing perspective I make me nervous.” The accompanying video was shot in Nashville and directed by Jordan Bellamy. It was inspired by and includes an homage to the final scene of Andrei Tarkovsky's film The Stalker, a film that has always resonated with Diaz through its otherworldly nature, as well as its thoughtful and often anxiety inducing pace. “You know when you hold a mirror up to a mirror and you get an infinite amount of reflections from every angle? That’s what ‘Nervous’ is about,” says Diaz. “It’s when you’re in a loop of looking at yourself from every vantage point until you’re caught up in your own tangled web of bullshit. It’s about catching yourself acting out your crazy and you’re finally self-aware enough to see it, but you’re still out of your body enough and curious enough to watch yourself do it.”

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Buzzy duo XVOTO have announced that their eagerly-awaited debut EP will be arriving on June 4 on One Two Many. Sharing new single ‘Friends’ alongside the news, Jazz Alonso explains that the track is rooted in “the people who have irreversibly changed you and then having to pretend you’re unphased by them when you’re in the same room. Meanwhile you’re trying to work out what your new boundaries are: can you talk about the past? Can you cry together? Can you show how much pain you’re in around them? ‘If you fish me, I’ll play dead’ means: if you make a move, I’ll pretend I’m dead inside and don’t want you back.” Accompanied by a new vid, Jazz adds, “For this video I always imagined an aquarium because of the fish lyrics and because I think looking at fish in a tank is a really nice symbol of looking back at a relationship: you’ll always have your take on it and feel you have control over that narrative cause it’s a memory, but the reality is that truth is fluid and moves. You’re not looking at an image, you’re looking at something that’s alive. Then the scenes of us getting tattooed on our backs are symbols for something beautiful that scars you - you might move on from something but it’ll still inform the way you move forward. In the video there’s some cheating, some reminiscing, some beauty and some pain.” [via DIY]

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Ashe has released new cut 'Me Without You' as the latest singe off her debut album Ashlyn. It comes teamed with a Jason Lester-directed video. Ashe says of the new single, "'Me Without You' is my follow up to 'Moral Of The Story'. It's saying you thought that I needed you to be who I am. There is my past relationship...I had multiple people... You know, assumed that I needed them in my life to feel confident or to be me and "Me Without You" is just this record that's like, ‘Ooh, I am so good on my own'." [via Line Of Best Fit]

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Mia Nicolai is a true internationalist. Born in Amsterdam to a Russian mother, she learned from a young age to move between languages and cultures, accepting them as equal. This all fuels her future-pop vision, a trans-genre approach laden with colour, one that picks from multiple sources. New single 'People Pleaser' is a surging, coherent, ultra-potent offering, a song that dwells on identity, and the processes by which it is defined. "This song is about the journey towards finding yourself," she explains. "It can be very difficult to be true to your inner values when all you do is please the people around you instead of your inner needs. I’ve always come across as a strong-minded person. But in reality, I’m capable of helping everyone BUT myself. At some point I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin that I couldn’t even breathe properly..." We're able to share the dazzling new video, directed by Isabelle Griffioen and produced by That’s What She Set. A surreal but completely engaging experience, it embodies everything Mia Nicolai sets out to do - put people on the back foot, and alert them to her presence. [via Clash]

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Singer-songwriter Gracie Abrams has shared her poignant new single 'Mess It Up' and its accompanying video via Interscope Records. Directed by Matty Peacock, the video for 'Mess It Up' finds Abrams attempting to bake a cake and repeatedly dropping the gorgeously frosted final product on the ground. That bittersweet back-and-forth between determination and disappointment is a perfect match for Abrams’s incisive lyrics, which simultaneously convey a deep longing for forgiveness and an unshakable sense of frustration. Produced by and co-written with her frequent collaborator Blake Slatkin, the track’s stark guitar work and driving rhythms slowly take on a powerful momentum, ultimately building to a sweetly triumphant climax. [via Vacancy]

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Vocalist and guitarist Maya Delilah shares the visuals for her new single 'Need A Word With Cupid'. The track unravels into a punchy number that gives you a hit of both dopamine and female empowerment. Written about realising your worth after a relationship breakup, Maya’s lyrics are little witty statements that we can all use to remind ourselves who the hell we are. “Last Tuesday morning I just realised you’re shit” – it’s the truth. The video sees her waiting in cupid’s reception ready to get her money back because, damn, this boy was not worth her energy. At. All. 'Need A Word With Cupid' is a brilliant narrative that’s not only relatable but also incredibly good. Brimming with smooth guitar tones and a catchy beat, this is a single that leaves you wanting so much more. A self-love anthem for the modern woman, 'Need A Word With Cupid' is an indie-pop bop. Maya says: “'Need A Word With Cupid' was written after my breakup when I felt a sudden hit of empowerment after the realisation that my ex was not worth another tear over. It’s an energetic and uplifting song with soul influences and of course a guitar solo to end.“ [via LOCK]

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With her debut EP Digital Meadow arriving on May 28, Dora Jar is sharing the video for her single ‘Multiply’. “I am my truest form when I am changing shape, morphing sounds, and shifting my point of view,” she says of the forthcoming EP. “This project is an exploration of my impulse to shape-shift. That’s my ambition.” [via DIY]

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Telenova's new-arriving single 'Tranquilize' makes it two-from-two for the band, deeper solidifying their rich blend of sounds while showing how it can move into further areas, taking on new energies - or emphasising other energies - as more songs come to light. 'Tranquillize', for example, has a heavier weighting on that live instrumentation, giving the song this more alt-pop-meets-R&B spin when combined with Angeline's brilliant-as-ever vocals. As she explains, the single was the first for Telenova, written on the day they began working with one another. "I was actually flicking through a thesaurus and the word ‘Tranquilize’ jumped out at me, it just rang so nicely on the tongue and was so inherently visceral," she says. "I was humming gibberish over the hypnotic Rhodes chords that Josh had laid down, and we heard what sounded like ‘Poseidon’s on the water’ - it was the first time in a writing session with Ed and Josh, and the first time I’d been in a writing session where a poetic, literary lyric idea like that wasn’t shunned and coined as ‘unrelatable’. It resonated. We followed the thread, playing into Siren mythology as a metaphor for falling in love - the power of attraction to transfix and tranquillize you." The single also arrives with an official video clip, directed by Angeline - solidifying her multi-talented craft. "I wanted to capture the world of the song in a Lynchian-inspired dreamscape - starry-eyed and a little unhinged - but like, David Lynch meets Gucci," she says. [via Pilerats]

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International superstar P!nk has more than two decades of experience topping the global pop charts, and she is here to continue her reign with the new single 'All I Know So Far'. 'All I Know So Far' was produced by pop mastermind Greg Kurstin and co-written with the songwriting duo Benj Pasek & Justin Paul. The single comes off of her upcoming album All I Know So Far: Setlist, due out on RCA Records on May 21. The accompanying video for 'All I Know So Far' tells Pink’s life story with help from Cher, Judith Light, and Carey Hart. The visuals, directed by longtime collaborator Dave Meyers, also features an appearance from her daughter Willow. The new album will feature live recordings from her 2019 'Beautiful Trauma World Tour' along with a recording of her highly-buzzed MTV Video Vanguard Award acceptance speech. P!nk’s daughter Willow will also make an appearance on the album with the song 'Cover Me in Sunshine', which the singer previously shared back in February. [via Consequence]

#videos of the week #hard feelings #zoee #madi diaz #xvoto #ashe #mia nicolai #gracie abrams #maya delilah #dora jar #telenova #p!nk

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mangofrog18 · 4 years

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The F-Word - Selling the Dream

A vague stream of thoughts on the commodification of activism. Because, if any of us truly are #feministAF, it’s probably not the companies making those t-shirts.

The lights are burning; the pulsing, repetitive music is registered painfully at the back of my mind, interrupted only by the sharp screeching of metal hangers on metal clothes racks; somebody urgently needs to change their baby’s nappy; and I’m staring up into the eyes of Beyoncé. Or, at least, an oversized (and underdressed) image of her on the wall.

It’s March 2016, Beyoncé’s IVY PARK sportswear range has just been launched, and Topshop is awash with excited fans battling it out to obtain the last pair of size 8 leggings. They don’t seem to particularly care (or even be aware of the fact) that the brand’s vow to “support and inspire all women” directly contrasts with their employment of sweatshop workers being paid beneath the Sri Lankan living wage. It’s evident, in that uncomfortable and noisy moment, that celebrated brands are able to get away with societal injustice (and invariably for an obscene profit) as they put up the pretence of caring about equality, through political advertising campaigns and bold statements on Twitter. So should feminist themes be used in advertising? Should we overlook the means of achieving equality, and focus on equality itself? And are we willing to be lectured by broad-scale corporations on issues they overlook themselves?

So why, up till now, have we pandered to the commercialisation of activism? Well primarily, there is the argument that advertising is a valuable tool that simply cannot be replicated by other means due to its constant presence in our day-to-day life (it’s nearly impossible to walk down the street without seeing a billboard, or hearing a radio jingle) and its incredible ability to target specific demographics of people. In this case, advertising has the power to connect a whole group of young women who care about their appearance and currently feel disengaged with feminism, and its stereotypical bald-headed-male-hating supporter.

However, when female empowerment begins to be mostly associated with the promotion of the latest shampoo, it is easy to see how real feminist issues can be overlooked. “Feminism has gone too far”, “Feminism isn’t needed anymore”, “Feminism is cancer”- all bold claims that are heard too often in daily life and in the media. Yet, when approximately 1500 forced child marriages happened in the UK alone in 2016, and 1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetimes, we see that the issues that feminism seeks to solve are still very much alive and kicking. So why do we find it so difficult to recognise the importance of feminism? The answer is simple, when feminism is used to sell products or as a t-shirt slogan on a NYFW runway, the movement as a whole is trivialised, made into a trend that can be just as easily discarded as it can be picked up. And when the average supporter of feminism follows along purely because it is fashionable to do so, the movement as a whole lacks direction and clear motive for what it wants to set out to change- sure, Instagram posts about equality might now get thousands of likes, but nothing else really happens. Likes don’t save lives.

Instead, we only open up the opportunity for media corporations to publish made-up “feminist” campaigns for a gender-neutral Father Christmas and, because even self-proclaimed feminists don’t know what the movement is really about as a whole, these outrage tactics and false stories carry out their purpose in further losing public support and respect for modern feminism. And the women living in Third World countries, deprived of education and healthcare? Their stories are swept out of the public eye and back underneath the rug, where they’ll stay until Chanel and Gucci and Dior and Versace decide that empowerment doesn’t quite make the cut for their latest collections.

As a general rule, adverts exist to sell (to us flawed and lacking commoners) the key to a perfect life- because how is self-fulfilment achievable without new hair straighteners? But by preying on our insecurities with the use of glossy-haired-better-than-you models, how do ad campaigns offer empowerment? Well, there’s the catch … in a male-dominated industry with a history of female oppression and disempowerment (an average gender pay gap of 25% in favour of men as of 2017), we see large-scale companies targeting the self-doubt of women in order to sell, sell, sell. For years now, women’s bodies have been used to push products for both the female and male markets, and companies still objectify models in degrading campaigns, whilst simultaneously making claims of feminism and efforts to seal the deal on equality. This, in itself, is problematic - harming the self-esteem of women, and presenting them as sex objects to the public isn’t an issue as long as companies can turn a profit - and fully demonstrates how the advertising industry needs to focus on inner-change before preaching feminism to the masses.

Perhaps we can give companies the benefit of the doubt- after all, we have no real way of proving that they are using activism purely as a USP. However, when the very same companies selling #fempowerment water bottles are also paying their female sweatshop workers below minimum wage, that benefit of the doubt is significantly harder to grant. It’s this dishonesty that largely contributes to inequality in 2019. Looking at sweatshops, we see that workers in developing nations would rather have little pay, than no pay at all. In an area of poverty, competition for work is fierce and anybody complaining about wages can be quickly replaced. We tell these vulnerable women that they’re easily expendable and that, even to a multi-international, their work is still only worth minimum pay- resulting in other companies being able to get away with the same mistreatment once Topshop leave the area.

In the meantime, will people stop buying IVY PARK? Will we question the intentions of a company the next time they release a political ad campaign? Will we look past the clothing design and attempt to listen to the message behind it? The answers to these questions are unknown, and as I shake out of my daze and let the shop floor music flood my head once more, I can only hope that the eyes of Beyoncé aren’t just selling the dream, but also the truth.

C.D

#feminism #feminist #why we need feminism #white feminism #slacktivist #writing #topshop #consumerism

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 4 years

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/mercury-retrograde-is-finally-ending-retro-shade-is-just-beginning/

Mercury Retrograde Is Finally Ending, Retro-Shade Is Just Beginning

FCGCT Commentary: We are moving from the mind, to the Heart… not the balancing of the two. The mind conflicts with the Heart, and is the cause for imbalance, pain, fear, suffering and more. It is the Heart and Brain which work in harmony together. The mind… the ego, blocks the Heart, as it Edges God Out. It is the Heart and Brain which work in harmony to allow Balanced Harmonics, your Divine Blueprint. Let go of the mind, and solely flow from the Heart, connected to the Unified Heart in Unity Consciousness.

Mercury Retrograde Is Finally Ending, Retro-Shade Is Just Beginning

By ERIKA W. SMITH

“Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods yet? Are we out of the woods?” Taylor Swift once sang. While the song is about a fragile relationship, the lyrics might as well apply to our current Mercury retrograde in Scorpio. Ever since Halloween, we’ve been dealing with miscommunications, technological mishaps, and, oh yeah, those Valentine’s Day ghost texts that suddenly arrived in our inboxes eight months later. Peak Mercury retrograde.

Luckily, Mercury retrograde is finally ending. The speediest planet goes direct on November 20. But unfortunately, we’re not out of the woods yet. Because the retrograde shadow is just beginning.

Mercury retrograde shadow, or retro-shade, occurs when Mercury retraces its steps after appearing to move backwards in its orbit during the retrograde. And during this time, the effects of everything that happened during Mercury retrograde hits us hard. “One would think that the post-retrograde zone would be beneficial. But more often than not, it’s a time when communications and dramas are taken to the next level — when the effects of Mercury retrograde are felt and dealt with,” astrologer Lisa Stardust previously told Refinery29.

This particular Mercury retro-shade is in Scorpio and lasts from November 20 to December 7. And as Mercury re-traces its steps, so will we. “During this time, we will be revisiting the story that began during the pre-retrograde shadow period on October 11 (which lasted until Mercury entered its proper retrograde zone on October 31),” Stardust tells Refinery29. “This is our third shot to revise the story. Choose the narrative and ending wisely. Keep receipts from holiday shopping, be mindful of travel plans, and avoid arguments with family. All of which may be hard, as secrets and scandals will be revealed. Be careful and mindful!”

Narayana Montúfar, Senior Astrologer for Astrology.com and Horoscope.com, tells Refinery29 that during the Mercury shadow, the journey we began during Mercury retrograde will come to an end.

“During the time Mercury has been retrograde in penetrating Scorpio, we have been taking a journey within ourselves to reevaluate and rethink a certain project, relationship, or situation. While digging deep, the trickster planet has brought the message that something’s gotta change for us to keep moving forward,” she explains. “Our minds have been racing, day and night, downloading the information we need in order to resolve, release, or heal whatever has been haunting us.”

When Mercury goes direct, “things will start coming to a head,” Montúfar says. “The sharp and laser-focused energy that characterizes this sign will be felt by all as we tenaciously start planning our next moves.”

Shortly before Mercury begins moving forward, Mars moves from Libra to Scorpio late on November 18, where it will stay until January 3. “There is nothing stronger and more powerful than this sign-planet combination,” explains Montúfar. “No matter our sign, we will feel the determination and ambition emanating from it. Mars is the planet of action, courage, and will power — and when he’s in Scorpio, he gives us drive and the free reign to be assertive and go for the gold!”

The combination of Mars in Scorpio and Mercury’s retrograde shadow in Scorpio means we should all take extra care. “Mars in Scorpio can also make us very impulsive and temperamental. If we are not careful, things can get heated real quick!” Montúfar explains. “Yes, we might feel impatient to push our agenda, especially after three weeks of waiting and rethinking.”

Do your best to stay cautious for another week, even if you can’t make it until the end of the retro-shade. “It is okay to ramp up the speed, however, turning up our awareness is now — more than ever — essential, especially as Mars gets closer and closer to form a very volatile opposition (a face-off) with Uranus, which will be perfecting on November 24,” Montúfar advises. “Once the morning of November 25 arrives, we will be over the hump. The path is clear, and it is now, it’s time to act!”

~~~~~~~~~

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talihahiman-blog · 5 years

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Finding Home and Starting a Blog

All my life I have been a curious, questioning seeker of Truth.

I think most people encounter a severe period of Questioning in their lives before they fall back or abandon their quest and resign to stop even thinking about it. But some, like me, remaining searching for a Truth that seems immutable. Finally, Alhamdulillah, I feel like I have found that Truth. And its name is Islam.

This is not a discovery that I happened upon in an instant: there was no thunderbolt from the sky demanding I give myself to it, no massive horde trying to bend me into shape, no men with knives at my throat denouncing me for what I was; no angel hovering beside my pillow, no giant billboards on the highway trying to point me where it thought I should go, no conversion school telling me I was inherently flawed.

This discovery came from a lifetime of asking questions, not accepting vague, mediocre and uninformed answers, the realization that the only way I would find the right answers was to embark on exploring matters of the sacred on my own, and then reading, researching and experiencing first-hand several different paths to the Ultimate.

Each path taught me profound lessons about myself and my relationship with God; each brought me closer to Him and helped clarify what was really important to me.

Last year, in particular, after an unexpected end to my marriage, going completely broke, homeless and feeling worthless, I found myself lying on the floor of my greataunt’s bedroom one February evening, still alive after two suicide attempts in one night, with an acceptance that if I was still alive, it was because God willed it.

“You have to show me why You’re not letting me leave,” I demanded of God. “Clearly You’re keeping me here. And I don’t know why. I still don’t even know You like I want to. I have nothing left. I have no will to stay. I’d leave now with no regret if You just let me. But if You won’t let me go, then show me why You want me to stay.” It was a moment of utter surrender.

The answer was not immediate.

There was a period of three months from that moment where I felt like I was in limbo. No answers, no direction.

In March I decided to move back with my family in Trinidad indefinitely to let the situation and my demand incubate. Slowly, I felt an urging in my heart to come back to NYC and start over, completely alone. It was not at the only option by any means - but it was the craziest possible option. I had nowhere to go, no money, no family here. Yet I was completely homesick. I never understood homesickness was an actual thing until I was in the place that I was born and raised in surrounded by my entire family, and all I could think about was NYC!

To everyone else - and, admittedly, to even myself - it seemed as if I were jumping into shark-infested waters when I could barely even swim, but somehow I understood that coming back would be the catalyst for God’s answers to my sincere plea that February.

By mid-May, I used the money I saved from working in Trinidad to buy myself a plane ticket back to NYC on June 2. Getting off the plane with nothing but one suitcase and a carry on bag of belongings and marching into the homeless shelter, I steeled myself with faith that if God was bringing me back, He would get me through anything that life could possibly throw my way.

So began the most incredible turnaround of my life.

I was faced with trial after trial, and in oftentimes what appeared to be impossible situations, He always showed up. On time. I learned in a very tangible, undeniable way that a true relationship with God was not simply talking to Him, but an active conversation with Him: you talk, you ask, you explain - then you shut up, you watch and you listen.

The answer is not always in obvious places.

For most of the year, I also identified as Hindu if anyone asked, and I hated when people asked because it never felt like it correct answer, which I found common to all to all of the religions I involved myself in at some point or the other. While the nature of the missing pieces would change, something was still missing anyway.

As a major world religion, naturally Islam was on my to-do list of religions to learn more about, but l thought that the only thing we might have in common is my belief that Jesus was a prophet and not the Messiah. The end! After all, it was a war religion that suppressed women, right? And they couldn’t listen to music, right? And they could only eat food from halal places, right? And you had to take a Muslim name! Right?!

And how could I forget: a Muslim group in Trinidad known as the Jamaat-Al-Muslimeen was responsible for an attempted coup d’etat in 1990 that resulted in 24 deaths, severe injuries to the President of the country, and my birth merely three years later meant constantly hearing the story of the “bad Muslim guys” even long before 9/11. Then 9/11. Then ISIS.

Everywhere I turned the narrative was the same: Islam is oppressive and dangerous. And living in NYC, where the new World Trade Center stands tall reminding us of the tragedy that befell this city and the world before it, it also reminded us constantly of that running narrative.

How could I ever be one of them?

Also as a languages enthusiast who loves spending time listening to different things from around the world, I suddenly started to stumble upon several Arabic and English Islamic songs that I really loved and listened to on a regular basis, moved, sometimes to tears, by the beauty of them and pure sense of joy, connection, and devotion contained within them.

While there were many such songs which captivated me at that time, these two became very special to me:

youtube

Listening to these, I couldn’t help but think, “Perhaps we’ve got this Muslim thing all wrong.”

But I couldn’t seem to get past that point.

It turned out that I started a new job this year, and in doing so found myself a close friend in a Bengali-American Muslimah from a neighboring department. She did not wear hijab nor was fussy about her shirt necklines, but was outspoken about her belief in Allah (SWT) and her excitement about Ramadan, as well as the role that Islam played (and continues to play) in her choices. For the first time, I had a wonderful Muslim woman in my inner circle who was my age, so relatable and so...normal.

Almost like instinct, I began asking her to tell me more about her beliefs and was fascinated to hear of her stories about the Jinn and why Ramadan is important. Even though I was raised in a country where Muslims were very visible and Ramadan was celebrated visibly, I discovered through conversations with her that even Ramadan was not what I thought it was - and it was certainly more than just getting bags of yummy treats on Eid. (Barfi, kurma and gulab jamun, anyone?)

From the little I had learned through my new friend and my quickly-expanding catalog of saved Islamic songs on YouTube and Spotify, my interest grew quickly about what Islam really said about the big questions. Shortly before Ramadan, another new hire at our organization came in - she was my age, proud feminist, fresh out of breaking up with her neglectful boyfriend, a real move-maker and unapologetically herself. We, too, became instant friends and quickly found ourselves contemplating modern religious thought and female empowerment. She was also an Arab-American Hijabi.

Neither of these new Muslimah friends tried to tell me that I should be like them, but they were both excited to hear of my interest in Islam, and both proud talk to me about their understanding of and experiences in it. I was being pointed in one direction by God now, and it would have been stupid of me to ignore it.

As the days counted down to Ramadan and conversations continued, it felt very natural to decide that for Ramadan this year, I would sincerely undertake to learn about Islam with an open mind. I had technically already started, and I was surrounded by equally open-minded people who would support me along the way - it finally was the right time. I told my friends of my intent to learn for Ramadan but did not tell them that I would also fast.

I started off Ramadan reading the Quran on my phone telling myself I’d just get the gist of it, but after a week it was inadequate - there was so much I wanted to reread and explore that I needed the real thing in my hands. I desperately wanted to let my mind dance between its pages and get lost in it, find gems and other surprises and come back out with a new understanding. After scouring bookstores for the right first* Quran, I decided on a translation by Tarif Khalidi.

*I already suspected at that point that this one would only be an introduction and that I would desire to read more ‘advanced’ translations and even the original text in Arabic after having a good initial understanding it in English, and this translation struck me as a beautiful cross between capturing not just the meaning but also the poetic and linguistic beauty of the original Arabic.

Ten days into Ramadan, on the second day with my new Quran, one thing was as clear as day: everything that was portrayed to me about Islam was wrong. All of it. The media and sociopolitical landscape is riddled with severe misconceptions and abuse of Islam, and I was completely unprepared for how tainted and ignorant the media perception is when I began to see what it is really is. Seeing past the misinformation and blatant lies being told, I knew that sharing the actual beliefs of Islam with others would become a very important task for me, even if I did not embrace it as my own.

There was also another issue I was praying about in the past few weeks and keeping myself open to answers for, and on the following day the answer came to me in the form of a particular episode of a podcast. I was just scrolling through and clicking on random things to listen to at work instead of my regular playlists to get me through the day, and although I’d been listening to such podcasts of several days at that point, that one was the one that confirmed to me that God was truly listening. Call it convenient confirmation bias if you will - that doesn’t change the fact that it was a direct answer.

I found myself suspended in time, awestruck and understanding in a different way from any path I had ventured into before that this was it.

It was what I’ve been on the hunt for my entire life. Everything I’ve done, felt, questioned, experienced, hoped for, run from, aspired toward and battled with myself about converged into that moment. I didn’t know precisely what I was looking for...until I found it.

Allah (SWT) spoke. My heart understood. And without even knowing it then, I accepted it.

I finally found my spiritual home. I am a Muslim.

Up until now, my travels led me to places that were interesting and useful, but still hollow and incomplete. For the first time, I feel whole.

And so here I am on the 14th day of Ramadan, feeling like simultaneously everything is different yet the same. I have not officially taken Shahada with witnesses, but I know that the real moment when I became Muslim has already happened. It was on that eleventh day on work when time stood still, and everything became clear.

There are still two more weeks left in Ramadan, and I’m not sure yet if I’d like to take Shahada on Eid, as I will be spending it with my Beng-Am Muslimah friend from work and her family again, and I think that would be a wonderful opportunity to do so. Otherwise, I may choose to wait some more and continue to study a while and find a community that I can be a part of it, not just my bubble of work acquaintances. But if I hold off to ‘study more,’ I feel like I will end up never taking it because I may never feel ‘ready’ - and Islam is a way of life and an ongoing act of submission to Allah (SWT), so I understand that officially converting is only the beginning. I really appreciate how often I see and hear the advice that one does not have to know everything to take Shahada - one simply has to be prepared to know, with the guidance of God.

Regardless of when I decide to take Shahada, I feel quite certain that my wandering soul is home at last, and I feel immediately called to share the things I am learning, contemplating and experiencing as a new Muslimah in NYC. Inshallah, it is my hope that someone out there will be able to either relate or at least learn something new, wonderful and unexpected about Islam along the way!

#islam #ramadan #2019 #ramadankareem #muslim #newmuslim #convert #conversion #quran #peace #god #godisgood #happy #reflections

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xoruffitup · 6 years

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Escaping Delusion For Self-Understanding & Empowerment: A Ben Solo Redemption/Reylo Meto

Upon my initial read of The Last Jedi novelization, I was disappointed by the lack of storytelling from Kylo’s perspective. I really enjoyed picking the character apart by his resolutely-hidden loose ends in my TFA Novel/Close-Reading Kylo Ren Analysis, and I’d been eagerly awaiting new insight in the TLJ novel into the internal deliberations guiding his sweeping character evolution. When the throne room scene went into Snoke’s head instead of Kylo’s, I got downright frustrated. But then, when I started delving into the novel more deeply the second time, I realized that viewing Kylo through other characters’ eyes actually tells us much more about him than his own perspective would ever be able to show – The key reason being the extent of Kylo’s self-delusion, and how little he understands himself.

The TFA novel did a superb job of presenting the deep dissonance and main source of conflict within Kylo Ren: Namely, the unstable disconnect between Kylo Ren’s detached brutality, and the stifled, hidden persona of Ben Solo within him – who appears in volatile, powerful bursts of emotion beyond Kylo’s control. My TFA novel analysis concluded with the key question: “Did he ever make a free, conscious decision to abandon Ben Solo to the monstrous might of Kylo Ren? If not, how strong is the illicit inner part of him still clinging to life and light?”

TLJ provides the answer pretty clearly that he did not; but the reason and process are more complex than simply Luke’s mistake pushing him over the edge. We came – as both viewers and readers – to understand Kylo much better as an individual wracked by repressed trauma, emotional dissociation, despairing loneliness, and destructive wrath aimed indiscriminately at himself and those around him. We don’t learn this from Kylo himself, because Kylo himself either refuses or fails to recognize his wounds. Instead, we gain a rare look beneath the cold, cruel shell of Kylo Ren to the true man beneath mainly through Rey’s evolving perception of him. Kylo and Rey’s ingress to each other’s minds and their budding mutual understanding and empathy are the means by which both characters not only come to understand each other more fully, but also themselves. This self-understanding will prove the most challenging and crucial element of Kylo’s redemption; but Rey’s journey to self-understanding and acceptance in TLJ can tell us a lot about what we might expect to lie in store for him.

Both Kylo and Rey ended TLJ in a far different place than they began. Since Rey started from a much stronger position of mental health and self-belief, she ends TLJ assured of her ability to forge her own path and place in this story. She makes difficult, dangerous, unconventional decisions through and through, but she ends TLJ only more firmly centered in her morals and self-belief. Kylo also ends TLJ in a vastly different place than he began – But he is still a great distance from the kind of self-understanding and empowerment achieved by Rey.

The development of the Rey/Kylo bond in TLJ establishes and reveals how deeply their journeys and hardships mirror each other. We see them literally reaching out to each other in attempt to provide solace for the other’s bone-deep, consuming solitude. We see them both struggling to come to terms with difficult, lonely childhoods and complex resentments towards parental figures. We see each tempted by both sides of the Force, and each repeatedly toeing the line between light and dark. Their symbolic unity as opposing but equal forces is overt: “It is you.” “I’ve seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo.”

My interpretation of Kylo’s character development in TLJ is closely linked to the development of Reylo because I believe the two are inherently intertwined, and the latter will help predict the former. TLJ made plain their similarities and parallels, as well as their natural draw and empathy for the other. I anticipate that their future development will continue to mirror each other, with their bond bringing further convergence in their character trajectories, while they each play a vital supporting role in the other’s eventual, respective ‘triumphs.’ For Rey, this will likely take the shape of developing and claiming her powers on her terms alone, subscribing to neither the rigidities of the Jedi nor the narrow-minded dichotomy of the Jedi/Sith. For Kylo, I’m pretty willing to bet money this will take the shape of redemption; or at least some stable middle ground where he can find a semblance of peace within himself and companionship.

To get more specific in my reading here, I believe TLJ was Rey’s movie of self-discovery with Kylo mostly in the supporting role. Episode IX, however, will be Ben’s movie with Rey then supporting him. Seeing Rey’s personal internal journey in TLJ (Self-discovery, acceptance, and then independent agency in her rejections of both Luke and Kylo’s attempts to set her future path for her) gives us insight into the internal challenges and monumental decisions awaiting Kylo – and the steps he must take before he can reach a point of understanding and peace with himself. We also see a model of how Rey can provide essential support and guidance to enable Kylo’s growth and self-liberation.

One thing that cannot be emphasized enough is that both characters must indeed liberate themselves. While I do believe that Rey and Kylo’s bond plays an integral and irreplaceable role in both of their development trajectories, another shared aspect of their journey is that the crucial, identity-forming moment of reckoning with the darkest, most difficult-to-accept parts of themselves must be experienced in isolation. The decisions they each make to emerge from these challenging, isolated moments can, and indeed are, guided in part by the other’s influence, but the experience itself of debilitating soul-searching must be experienced alone. The decision itself must be reached alone.

Hence, why the ‘Reylo is abusive’ position is untenable; Kylo has nothing but a positive effect on Rey’s TLJ development, and he never determines her choices for her. He coaxes her to confront and eventually accept the darker parts of herself, along with the aspects of her past she has lived in willful ignorance of. Thanks to her painful introspection in the dark-side cave, followed by her voicing the all-terrible truth about her parents in the throne room, her self-understanding and belief in her own agency stands so strong that she rejects Kylo’s misguided proposal – Knowing that acceptance would mean compromising her identity and values.

There is a balance here I want to make the effort to clarify: Rey and Kylo are each a positive force to the other – helping the other accept and act on parts of themselves they either didn’t fully understand or could not previously assimilate. But in the moments when their self-determination and empowerment hang in the balance – When they each face a decision that will shape their destinies, they stand alone. They each decide for themselves. Yet, it��s highly likely that the changes in their self-perception due to the other’s companionship and empathy help enable decisions they perhaps might not have been capable of before.

From my view, there is a single greatest challenge confronting both Rey and Kylo, before they can become self-determining characters acting with true agency. Rey conquered this challenge in TLJ, but Kylo’s true test still awaits in Episode IX. The challenge is to free themselves from willful, self-imposed delusions. Only until they remove the blinders of self-deception and willful ignorance can they see clearly enough to gain a true understanding of the self. Only with a true understanding of the self, can they each make free, independent, productive decisions towards shaping their futures for themselves and becoming the people they truly wish to be.

‘Self-deluded’ could be Kylo Ren’s middle name. He might not know it, but everyone around him sure does. When Luke sees Ben again on Crait after so many years:

“Even stronger than the anger were Kylo’s pain and fear. They filled him, threatening to devour him. Ben Solo had sought to abandon everything he had been, even casting aside his name. But Luke sensed that Kylo Ren was just a shell around the same broken boy he had tried so hard to reach” (Page 297).

And though I’m still a little bitter about getting in Snoke’s head rather than Kylo’s during the climactic throne room scene, I do have to admit that Snoke’s words hit the nail right on the head:

“He called himself Kylo Ren, but as with so much else about him, that was more wish fulfillment than reality. He had never escaped being Ben Solo, or learned to resist the pull of the weak and pathetic light, or had the strength to excise the sentimental streak that had destroyed his legendary grandfather. And then there was his most glaring failure of all: his inability or unwillingness to use his power to redirect the course of his own destiny” (Page 222).

I placed emphasis on the final sentence because that’s the crux of the matter right there. Kylo Ren claims to seek power through the dark side, to complete the destruction of his weak former identity and banish all light and poisonous sentiment from within himself. But this is increasingly proving to be an impossible task. Kylo Ren will never achieve the dark-side strength or invulnerability to attachment for which he longs, because Kylo Ren himself is a hollow, inert fabrication. He will never be able to “redirect the course of his own destiny” in any meaningful way, until he confronts the contradictions of Kylo Ren’s being and the truths Kylo Ren was created to hide.

This is the delusion Kylo must confront before he can ever become free in any sense at all: Ben Solo’s enduring existence and strength. He must realize that the dark side ethos of power through strength and excising of attachments is irreconcilable with who he is as a person. The light of Ben Solo will always live in him, always making surrender to the dark side impossible. Kylo Ren calls Ben Solo “weak and foolish, like his father,” while being willfully blind to the fact that Ben Solo’s emotions and needs were what created him. Ben Solo – still very much alive within Kylo – was never helpless or weak. To the contrary, Ben Solo is so strong, his emotional core released a desperate coping mechanism against unbearable pain, coupled with a violent vengeance that has underscored every single one of his actions. The truth is, Kylo Ren never destroyed Ben Solo. Ben Solo created Kylo Ren, and has controlled him ever since.

Ben Solo’s lingering need for attachment bubbles out from Kylo Ren in various forms. Unable to look within himself, he seeks identity and purpose in others. Here lies one of his many sources of conflict: Even while lashing out against those he believed wronged and hurt him, he continues searching for external guidance and affirmations of his worth. He clings to his grandfather’s legacy, seizing upon Vader as a model and even speaking with his grandfather’s deformed helmet with sentiments starkly reminiscent of, “I’ll make you proud of me.” Even while he firmly rejects his parentage and seeks to destroy Luke, he simultaneously longs to claim his uncle’s light saber for himself and the legacy it represents. Snoke – depraved abuser that he is – recognizes this need for external affirmation and exploits it. “‘My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader,’ Snoke said, knowing how Kylo had yearned for such praise” (Page 235).

Kylo craves acceptance, affirmation, and ultimately love from others, while disavowing any such needs as foolish weakness to be rejected and left behind. This only makes it harder for Kylo to recognize the depths of his own self-deception. He sees the cause of Kylo Ren’s creation in all others around him; Pursuing his vendetta against all those he holds responsible for his fall, while claiming to be inured to their importance or connections to him. Refusing to acknowledge neither these contradictions, nor the deeper emotional origins of his actions, he never confronts his true self in all its indomitable vulnerability.

To put this all in simple terms: Boy’s got a lot of issues. A character this complex – with a mask of cruelty and apathy disguising the pain and fear shaping everything he does; Who, even with misery in his eyes, affirms being a monster – will face an ultimate moment of reckoning equally complex. We learned in TLJ that this character wasn’t nearly the black-and-white villain we might have thought. His path to the light and escape from torment won’t be black-and-white either. Rey learns this the hard way: “Luke’s error had been to assume that Ben Solo’s future was predetermined – that his choice had been made. Her error had been to assume that Kylo Ren’s choice was simple – that turning on Snoke was the same as rejecting the pull of the darkness” (Page 260).

There’s a lot bound up in Kylo’s descent into darkness. There are his childhood feelings of isolation and inadequacy – stoked and exploited by Snoke. There are his adolescent feelings of abandonment and betrayal at the hands of his own family. There are his perceived memories of when his parents “talked about him like he wasn’t their son, but some kind of monster” (Page 82). It was not only Snoke’s influence that pulled him to the dark, but his own yearning to escape that propelled him there as well. Yet in his own eyes, there was an inevitability to it all. His parents saw him as a monster, his uncle Luke thought he was beyond all hope – And so a monster beyond all hope is what he became.

Rey is the one who begins to chip away at the certitude of his damnation. She is the first to give him the chance to explain what really happened the night Luke came into his room as he slept. She is the first person to truly see him in all his agonizing complexity, and she is the first to truly believe in his potential to make decisions for himself that might enable his deliverance. Even after failing to turn him, in the escape pod leaving the Supremacy Rey sees the future as “a range of possibilities, which were constantly reshaped by the outcome of events that seemed minor and decisions that seemed small” (Page 260). Unlike others who viewed Kylo’s path to the dark side as immutable (including Kylo himself), she sees his enduring multiplicity of futures. She still believes in his capacity to make powerful decisions for himself, and shape himself a higher path.

While Kylo’s ultimate moment of reckoning with his true self and shedding his delusions (his equivalent of Rey’s voicing and acceptance of the truth of her parents’ abandonment) still stands before him, he has already faced two similar moments when he was confronted with a choice of who he was and what he believed in. The first was his confrontation with Han. The second was his decision to kill Snoke. His decisions in these moments of internal conflict went in opposite directions – one a desperate plunge deeper into the dark, the other an unexpected surge towards the light and belief in his own will.

While he made both decisions on his own, Rey’s influence is the essential new factor that makes him think for himself, beyond Snoke’s indoctrination and the dark side ethos of strength only through unfeeling power. In both this scene and Han’s death, Kylo was nearly overwhelmed by feeling. He killed Han in a despairing bid to escape from the crush of conflict and torment within him, believing this unforgiveable act might finally purge him of his pain and let him become unfeeling. (He was wrong, of course.) In the throne room scene, Kylo does almost the exact opposite. He is overwhelmed by Rey’s pain: “Kylo could feel Rey’s pain and panic, a bright roar in the Force that overwhelmed all else – even the dark presence of Snoke” (Page 223), and he acts not on a desire to escape from his overpowering emotional response to her suffering, but rather embraces it as a call to action more compelling than the dark side has ever been. Rey promised in the elevator that she would help him, and he saw in his own vision that Rey would stand with him. Finally, Kylo feels an attachment warm, alive, and understanding – And it gives Ben Solo something to fight for, rather than another source of pain to escape and throw up walls against.

This is such an important moment for Kylo’s development for so many reasons. It’s indisputable evidence that Ben Solo is alive and kicking, with an independent will and positive, caring emotions Snoke never succeeded in stamping out. It demonstrates that power was never the most important thing to him – it was never what he truly sought. His strongest need is still enduringly for human connection and warmth. When he thinks he might be in reach of a bond with someone who truly understands his struggle and eases his pain, he protects it and her at all costs, even turning his back on the dark-side Master to whom he swore such loyalty.

(Sidebar: I have heard some people argue that Kylo killing Snoke was ultimately a power grab, enabled by Rey’s presence but not motivated by it. Let me take a minute here to knock that down. If Kylo’s main goal was to seize power and become the Supreme Leader himself, his actions immediately after the fight make no sense whatsoever. Rey is his equal in strength, and the only one who can challenge him anymore. If ruling domination was his goal, he would have tried to get rid of her right then and there as the only lingering threat to him… Not begged her to join him with a quivering lip and a desperate “please,” like this whole kingdom is meaningless without her by his side.)

Just as Rey realizes after the fact – The decisions confronting Kylo regarding his identity and the shaping of his own future are much more complicated than simply rejecting Snoke. In the throne room, Kylo’s anger towards Snoke was first kindled even before Snoke began torturing Rey – When Snoke revealed he created the bond between Kylo and Rey’s minds, for the purpose of using Kylo to lure Rey in. “…he looked up in surprise, his eyes locked on his master. Snoke ignored the pleading look on Kylo’s face – just as he ignored the sickly waves of pain and confusion that rolled out from him into the Force” (Page 222). Just as there was more to Kylo’s decision than a need to save Rey (“more” not meaning seeking power, but rejection of an abusive, domineering master), there is more to the aftermath as well. Rey wrongly anticipated that Kylo turning his back on Snoke would also mean turning his back on the dark side, but so long as Kylo continues laboring under delusions of Ben Solo’s weakness and irrelevance to his identity, he will continue needing the dark side and its promised escape from pain as a crutch to help him endure. He remains willfully blind to Ben Solo’s presence: “‘Ben?’ she asked. ‘That’s my old name,’ he said” (Page 244).

The hardest part of Kylo’s journey still lies before him: The introspection that will enable him to understand and accept the emotional instincts and needs that have shaped his path thus far. Then, perhaps, he can embrace the strength and light of Ben Solo as the truest means to shape his destiny for himself. TLJ left Kylo in a position where, for the first time, he does have recourse to the freedom to make decisions for himself. But all of his decisions following Rey’s refusing of him were based in blind anger, destructive vengeance, and consuming hurt. He is still hiding behind the cold, empty cruelty of Kylo Ren, running away from Ben Solo’s emotions with a wake of destruction.

In probably the most direct illustration of the tragic irony of Kylo Ren’s character, he urges Rey to “let go” of the past:

“It’s time to let the old things die. (…) You’re holding on. Let go. (…) Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known and have you just hidden it away – hidden it from yourself? Let it go. You know the truth. Say it!” (Page 244)

He is asking her to do what he himself has so far been incapable of. He doesn’t see the contradiction - Remaining utterly blind to the truth that he is controlled by his own past, and Kylo Ren is only Ben Solo in another, crueler guise, still acting in response to a bright, burning emotional core that will never be quenched. He can never stop hating himself, or stop living in a projected shell of pain and violence, until he confronts his past trauma and accepts his enduring need for those he feels attachments to.

At some point, he must consciously accept all of Ben Solo as the most essential part of himself. He must recognize empathy and love not as weaknesses to be cut away, but as the single strongest force in the galaxy – whose thwarted, then perverted power was, after all, what created Kylo Ren. Until he accepts Ben Solo’s needs as his own and acknowledges his emotions as strength, the past will continue to control him and he will remain trapped in a helpless loop of anger, destruction, despair, and solitude.

This might sound like a tall order for someone with so much emotional trauma to overcome. And yet, I remain a firm proponent and believer in redemption. As I said earlier, I anticipate Episode IX will be “Ben’s movie,” with Rey helping him through his internal journey towards some form of resolution. His ultimate moment of reckoning within himself will be complex and immensely challenging, due to the depth of his self-deception and the immensity of the pain that initiated it. But Rey will be there to help him through – providing a warm light at the end of the tunnel to guide his way. She can provide hope and comfort to Ben’s loneliness and despair, enough to make him believe there could be something brighter for him in the world than the cold, unfeeling dark side.

Let’s not forget: In the throne room, believing in the promise of Rey by his side, Kylo achieved a moment of intense internal resolve that lent him inner strength he’s never known before. Ever since he first went to Snoke, the heart of Ben Solo living within Kylo Ren’s shroud has lived in stifled agony, crying out against the cold isolation demanded by the dark side. Part of Kylo has always hated being a monster, always yearned for warmth and light and hated himself for shrinking away from it. But only until Rey extended her hand to him, only until Rey listened to his side of the story, only until she believed in him and risked her life in pursuit of that belief – Only then did Kylo find something solid and resolute enough within himself to do what had before been unthinkable: To free himself and take his own future into his hands.

It was a short-lived moment of resolution and clarity, but one that bodes well for Kylo’s future. While Rey can help him regain faith in the world, reminding him that emotions can also be a force of comfort and wonder, all this will only be to help him recognize that he alone has the power to save himself. Or more precisely – Ben Solo holds that power.

Ben Solo – not his Force abilities, not the dark side – is the strongest part of him. Through confronting, acknowledging, and then accepting Ben Solo’s past pain and hardship as the most integral part of him, he might finally find inner peace. Ben was a loving, sensitive child, whose inability to cope with pain, fear, and abandonment birthed a persona of malignant darkness. But that loving, sensitive boy has endured. He yearns to be free again, and I’m convinced the dark side is no match for him.

#Star Wars meta #Star Wars analysis #Star Wars TLJ #The Last Jedi #Star Wars #Kylo Ren #Ben Solo #Save Ben Solo #Reylo

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shareeanne-deactivated · 6 years

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Everyone’s Doing The Best That They Can

“All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.” ~Brené Brown

My favorite principle is this simple truth: Everyone is doing the best that they can with the resources they have. Adopting this belief has radically changed my relationship to myself and to others.

This idea has been explored by a constellation of religious, spiritual, and wellness practitioners. As Deepak Chopra said, “People are doing the best that they can from their own level of consciousness.”

At first, it's a hard concept for us to swallow. In a culture that constantly urges us to do more, to be better, and to excel, “I'm doing the best that I can” sounds like complacency—like an excuse. But what if we took a step back from our culture's infinite growth paradigm and considered, “What if, right now, there is a limit to what I can achieve? Can I be okay with that?”

I first stumbled across this principle a few weeks after I quit drinking in 2016. It was a challenging time for me. In the absence of alcohol, I watched my anxiety soar.

I stayed away from bars and clubs to avoid temptation, but then felt guilty and “boring” for spending Saturday nights at home. When I met up with friends who'd previously been drinking buddies, our interactions felt stilted. I knew sobriety was the healthiest choice for me, but I couldn't accept the way it impacted my ability to be social. I felt like I wasn't trying hard enough.

I spent weeks in a frustrated mind space until I stumbled across that precious idea: “I'm doing the best I can with the resources at my disposal.”

At first, I recoiled. The high achiever in me—the climber, the pusher—scoffed at the suggestion that I was doing my best. “But other people have healthy relationships with alcohol. Other people maintain active, thriving social lives.”

But in that moment, I realized that my negative self-talk was an exercise in futility. It never boosted my inspiration or activated me toward progress. It just sparked a shame spiral that sunk me deeper into inaction and guilt.

So over time, I began to internalize this idea as my own. And as I did, I felt like a blanket of comfort had been draped over me. For the first time in weeks, I could sit back on my couch and watch Vampire Diaries without hating myself. It enabled me to find peace in the present moment and accept—not even accept, but celebrate—that I was doing the absolute best that I could.

I've found that this principle has been easiest for me to internalize when I've been going through deep stuff.

After a painful breakup last August, it took all of my energy to drag myself from bed in the morning. My intense emotions were riding shotgun, which sometimes meant canceling plans last minute, postponing work calls, or calling a friend to cry it out.

Because I was so obviously using all of my inner resources to get through each day, it was easy for me to accept that I was doing the best that I could. Throughout those months, I gave myself total permission not to do more, not to be “better.” For that very reason, those painful months were also some of the most peaceful months of my life.

Here's the thing, though: We don’t have to hit rock bottom in order to show ourselves compassion.

We don’t need to be heartbroken, shattered, or at wit’s end. Maybe we're just having a rough day. Maybe we're feeling anxious. See, our abilities in any given moment depend entirely on our inner resources, and our inner resources are constantly in a state of flux depending on our emotions (pain, stress, anxiety, fear), our physicality (sickness, ailments, how much sleep we got), our histories (the habits we’ve adopted, the trauma we've experienced, the socialization we’ve internalized), and so much more.

When we consider everything that affects our capacity to show up as we'd like to be, we realize how narrow-minded our negative self-talk is. We also begin to understand that everyone comes from a wildly complex, diverse array of experiences, and that comparisons among us are useless.

Consider how this idea can be applied in some more challenging situations:

The Friend Who Is Stuck In A Cycle of Stagnancy

This goes for anyone who complains about a monotonous cycle in their life but can't seem to break it: the friend who hates their job but doesn't leave it, or the friend who complains about their partner but won't end their relationship.

Those of us on the receiving end of our friend's complaints may get tired of hearing the same story every day. But our advice to “just leave your job” or “just break up” will fall on deaf ears because it's not that simple. They are doing the best that they can in that moment because their current need for familiarity and security outweighs their desire for exploration.

They are experiencing a tension within their desires, but don't yet have the ability to act on that tension. The limitations of their emotional (or sometimes, financial) resources make it difficult for them to move on.

By accepting that we're doing the best we can, we give ourselves the gift of self-acceptance and self-love. Only from this place can positive, sustainable changes to actions or behaviors be made

The Parents Who Hurt Us When We Were Kids

It can be especially challenging to apply this principle to those who have wounded us most deeply. But oftentimes, those are the folks most deserving of our compassion.

Parents have a responsibility to their children, and parents who hurt, neglect, shame, or otherwise harm their children are not doing their job as parents. But sometimes, our parents can't do their jobs well because they don't have the resources at their disposal. And even then, they are doing the best that they can.

More than likely, our parents didn't learn the necessary parenting skills from their own parents. Maybe they never got therapy to heal old wounds or never developed the coping skills necessary to handle intense emotions. This principle can be very challenging, yet very healing, when applied to parents and other family members.

The Binge Eater (Or Other Addict)

This used to be me, and it took me years to accept that even when I was in the thick of my eating disorders, I was doing the best that I could.

From the outside, the solution seems simple: “Put down the cake.” “Don't have a third serving.” But for folks with addiction issues—food, alcohol, sex, drugs, you name it—the anxiety or emptiness of not engaging with the addiction can be insurmountable.

Resisting the impulse to fill an inner void requires extensive resources, including self-love, self-empowerment, and oftentimes, a web of support from friends and family. Folks in the throes of addiction are caught in a painful cycle of indulgence, shame, and self-judgment, which makes it all the more difficult to develop the emotional resources necessary to resist the tug of the addiction.

But by accepting that they're doing the best they can, they give themselves the gift of self-acceptance and self-love. Only from this place can we make positive, sustainable changes to our actions or behaviors.

It's worth noting: Our actions have consequences, and when we harm others, we should be held accountable. But simultaneously, we can acknowledge that we are doing the best that we can, even when we “fall short” in others' eyes. Forgiving ourselves (and others) is an emotional experience that transcends logic or justice. We can make the conscious choice not to hold ourselves to a constant standard of absolute perfection.

Believing that we are all doing the best that we can opens our hearts to kindness and compassion. It allows us to see one another as humans, flaws and all. Next time you feel frustrated with yourself, stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, you’re doing the best that you can.

Sit down with a piece of paper and divide it in half. On one side, write down the voices of your inner gremlins. What exactly are they saying? Are they calling you lazy, selfish, mean? On the second side, consider what inner and external factors affected your actions or decisions. Consider the emotional, physical, historical, and financial obstacles you face.

As you review your list of obstacles in contrast with your negative self-talk, summon compassion and kindness for your inner self. If she is struggling, you can ease her burden by quieting the self-judgment and replacing those negative messages with an honest truth: That you're doing the best you can with the resources at your disposal.

About Hailey Magee

Hailey Magee is a Trailblazer Coach, writer, and digital nomad. She envisions a world where trailblazers are empowered to explore uncharted territory and unfurl a world of possibility - professionally, emotionally, spiritually, and more - to people everywhere. She has worked with over 100 clients of all ages across the United States and Canada. Learn more at haileymagee.com.

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healthbetold · 3 years

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The Legacy of a Civil Rights Icon’s Vegetarian Cookbook

Adrian Miller, the author of Black Smoke: African American and the United States by Barbecue, recalls how holidays like Juneteenth always meant celebrating with food for his family. “We went to the public festivities in the Five Points neighborhood, Denver’s historic Black neighborhood. At these events, the food celebrated was grilled, usually pork ribs, huge smoked turkey legs, watermelon, and red drinks. ”

For many black Americans, barbecue and soul food mean victory. Cooking techniques passed down through the generations testify to the strength and persistence of black culture and cuisine. But with the celebration comes the consideration of the health effects of meat, sugar, and fat. In parallel with the Soulfood narrative, there’s another story that links nutrition with liberation, and one that features an unlikely hero: a prominent black comedian whose 1974 book full of plant-based recipes has influenced black diets to this day.

My darling copy of the book. Shea Peters for Gastro Obscura

I grew up on Dick Gregory’s Natural Diet for Folks Who Eat: Cookin ‘With Mother Nature in my Memphis home. I even took it with me for my first semester at Tennessee State University. The campus was surrounded by fast food and soul food restaurants, and I used Gregory’s book many times for nutritional advice. I also made recipes from his website, such as the “Nutcracker Sweet”, a fruit smoothie made from a mixture known today as almond milk. Today, many years later, I live in Brooklyn and still consult the book. The same copy that I saw for the first time on my mother’s bookshelf – with the cover depicting Gregor’s head with a huge chef’s hat with fruit and vegetables – now stands alone.

Now considered one of the greatest stand-up comedians in history, Dick Gregory was shot up after appearing on The Tonight Show with Jack Paar in 1961, a segment that almost never happened. Gregory initially turned down the opportunity because the show allowed black entertainers to perform but not sit on Parr’s couch for interviews. After his refusal, Parr called Gregory personally to invite him for an interview on the Tonight Show’s couch. His performance was groundbreaking: “It was the first time that white America got to hear a black person not as an actor, but as a person,” Gregory said later in an interview.

Gregory was particularly adept at using humor to present the black experience at a time of heightened tension and divisions in the United States. During a performance early in his career, he quipped, “Segregation isn’t all bad. Have you ever heard of a collision in which people were injured in the back of the bus? “

Gregory speaking to a crowd in Washington DC in 1963. Michael Ochs Archive / Getty Images

“He had the ability to make us laugh when we were probably crying,” said US agent and civil rights activist John Lewis in an interview following Gregory’s death in 2017. “He had the ability to answer the whole question of race, Racial segregation, and just racial discrimination where people can come together and deal with it and not try to hide it under the American rug. “

But Gregory didn’t just fight racial inequality in comedy clubs. He also used his voice to campaign for civil rights at protests and rallies. After Gregory held a rally with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had directed, he developed a relationship with King. (Gregory’s close ties to leaders like King and Mississippi activist Medgar Evers eventually led him to be a target of FBI surveillance.) “Freedom Summer” from 1964 and after a rally on the last night of the Selma March Montgomery in 1965.

For Gregory, who became a vegetarian in 1965, food and nutrition were inseparable from civil rights. “The philosophy of nonviolence that I developed during my involvement in the civil rights movement of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. learned, was initially responsible for changing my diet, ”he writes in his book. “I had the feeling that the commandment ‘You shall not kill’ applied to people not only in their dealings with one another – war, lynching, assassination, murder and the like – but also in their practice of killing animals for food or for sport . “

Gregory with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. after the comedian won the 1963 Southern Christian Leadership Conference Merit Award. African American Newspapers / Gado / Getty Images

In Dick Gregory’s Natural Diet, he combines black liberation with health, nutrition and basic human rights. Gregory knew all too well the socio-economic barriers to healthy eating: growing up poor in St. Louis, he had limited access to fresh fruits and vegetables. In his book, he states that readers may not always have the best resources, but they may have the best information. Each chapter serves as both a hunt group and a manual, and offers everything from basics about the human body to lists of foods that are good sources of certain vitamins and minerals.

Thanks to Gregory’s longstanding collaboration with nutritionist Dr. Alvenia Fulton offers the book healthy recipes as well as natural remedies for common ailments. In the chapter “Mother Nature Medicare” you will find recipes from party food (“golden shower”) to headache cures (a mixture of tomato, celery and onion juice). For those looking to gain weight or lose weight, the Dick Gregorys Weight-On / Weight-Off Natural Diet chapter includes dairy-free milk recipes and weekly meal plans.

Gregory’s culinary contributions are not just a footnote in his already eventful life, but have made up a large part of his legacy. Cliff Notez, a musician and multimedia artist from Boston, has been vegan for four years and represents much of Dick Gregory’s philosophy. “I think he’s definitely one of the few black intellectual writers who is frank [spoke] about veganism, vegetarianism, ”says Notez.

Gregory with Dr. Alvenia Fulton, one of his nutritionists. Bettmann / Getty Images

Although a lot has changed since 1974, there are still barriers to a healthy, plant-based lifestyle. As Notez points out, “inner-city communities can make it harder to become vegan” due to persistent food deserts. Meeting these challenges is a new generation of black culinary leaders who carry on Gregory’s legacy of empowerment through education. As the head chef at the Museum of the African Diaspora in San Francisco, Bryant Terry directs programs that focus on the intersection of food, poverty and activism. A celebrated chef who has published several vegan cookbooks, Terry also cites Gregory as a strong influence. In an interview with the AARP, he described Dick Gregory’s Natural Diet as “one of those groundbreaking texts that inspired me to think more about these topics and to invest in my personal health and wellbeing.”

Eating has always meant more than just health. “Food plays a very important role,” says Adrian Miller. “Eating food is something we all have in common that helps create a welcoming space where people can come together and have difficult conversations.” Dick Gregory knew that food had the power to fuel change. In his book Dick Gregory’s Political Primer, he writes: “I have personally seen in recent years how purity of diet and purity of thought are interrelated. And if Americans really care about the purity of the food that gets into their personal system when they learn to eat right, we can expect profound changes in that nation’s social and political system. The two systems are inseparable. “

Dick Gregory died in August 2017, but amateur chefs can still celebrate his legacy by preparing one of the recipes from his book. Here are two of my favorites.

Nature’s champagne is just as elegant as real champagne. Madelynne Ross for Gastro Obscura

Nature’s champagne

Adapted from Dick Gregory’s Natural Diet: Cookin ‘With Mother Nature

Makes 1 liter

3 cups of pineapple juice 1 cup of cucumber juice (see how to make cucumber juice here) 1 teaspoon agave syrup (simple syrup can be substituted here) 1 teaspoon of orange juice Ginger ale

Put the juices and syrup in a shaker with ice cubes. Shake the mixture, then strain the liquid into a glass over crushed or pelleted ice. Stock up on ginger beer for a tangy alternative to champagne or alcoholic beverages.

Gregory’s recipe “Always in the Soup” is refreshing and hearty. Madelynne Ross for Gastro Obscura

Dick Gregory is always in the soup of the Health Power Uplift

Adapted from Dick Gregory’s Natural Diet: Cookin ‘With Mother Nature

2 medium-sized tomatoes, sliced 1 cucumber, sliced 1 medium-sized pumpkin, diced (e.g. kabocha, honey nut, butternut), without seeds 1 bunch of kale (spinach can be substituted) 1 bell pepper, diced (yellow or orange) 1 avocado, sliced 1 small onion, diced 2 cloves of garlic (you can cut whole or thinly) 1-2 cups of filtered water (add one and then see how watery your soup is after mixing) 2 tablespoons of honey

Mix the ingredients thoroughly in a blender or food processor. It can be served cold or warm.

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alexatrevino93 · 4 years

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#How To Learn About Reiki Wonderful Tips #Reiki Energy Youtube

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eyesaremosaics · 6 years

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Feminist film recommendations?

Hmm interesting question anon. I will list some of my personal favorites (in no particular order) hopefully you enjoy them.

1. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

I felt like there was fire in my veins walking out of the cinema. Not only is Charlize Theron’s Furiosa a total badass, but the best thing is that it’s not just her. To have such a range of women portrayed equally and beautifully was so uplifting. Women caring for each other, lifting each other and fighting hard for what is right. We need more of that, both in Hollywood and in life.

2. The color purple (1985)

Read this book in high school, about a sisterhood of women, all standing together against the racism and sexism that they face and somehow coming out on top. It’s an inspiring story of women coming together in the face of adversity.

3. Gone With the Wind (1939)

Scarlett was the most coveted female film role of all time. Despite the films obvious flaws as a result of the time period in which it was made, overall this is a feminist parable. Scarlett is above all else–a survivor. She never gives up, digs her heels in, rolls up her sleeves and does it. She faces adversity with admirable courage. Despite the fact that she is a terribly flawed human being, you can relate to her. She sets her mind to something and she does it, whether it’s dragging her family out of poverty or eating as much BBQ food as she damn well likes. Her flaws make her human, which adds richness to the overall story. Scarlett has inspired me to persevere at the darkest of times. When all hope seems lost, “tomorrow is another day.”

4. Erin Brockovich (2000)

I love Julia Roberts, and this movie stands out as one of her best in my opinion. A single mother, fallen on hard times, but somehow holding everything together. Making the best of a bad situation, an eternal realist. Portraying a woman as much more than she appears. She uncovers some dark secrets (chemicals leaked into the sewer systems) which led an entire community to develop terminal illness. She works tirelessly to expose those responsible and find justice for those who can’t help themselves. My favorite line is when this bitchy secretary says: “maybe we got off on the wrong foot here.”“Yeah lady because that’s all you got, two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes.” Bahahaha

5. Suffragette (2015)

Tells the story of the women’s right movement at the turn of the last century. It taught me to stand up for myself, and for women everywhere. Very proud to have that as a part of our history. Incredibly grateful to all the women who fought tirelessly, endured persecution, humiliation, incarceration to ensure my right to vote.

6. Pocahontas (1995)

Pocahontas is VERY loosely based on the true story. Disney took a lot of liberties here which mask the horror of early American history and its impact on the native Americans. HOWEVER, what I like about her characterization in this film… Is that she was strong, rebellious, bold, adventurous, and wise. She went wherever the wind took her, a true free spirit. She was graceful, and kind in ways other Disney princesses were not. The purity of her heart and the message she had to bring, stopped a war. She is a warrior, but not one that fights with weapons, she fights with love. In the end she chose herself and her duty to her people over a man. I wanted to be just like her when I was a little girl watching this in the theater, and she still inspires me today, nearly 20 years later.

7. Fried green tomatoes (1992)

I watched this film when I was in high school, with low expectations and was very surprised to discover how moved I was. A story of two women, finding empowerment within oneself. The main character listens to a story from an elderly woman and learns how to love herself. I believe it’s important to encourage other women and learn from each other.

8. Obvious child (2014)

Jenny Slate’s character has an abortion after a one night stand with a guy she actually really likes. However, she knows she isn’t prepared for it and chooses to terminate the pregnancy. There’s great friendship and family in the film and it really helps to destigmatise abortion.

9. Wild (2014)

The book is arguably better, but the film is worth watching. A woman goes out and hikes one of the worlds longest trails, on a mission to find herself and to prove that she can finish what she starts. Finding herself on the elements, and getting clarity. Very freeing and inspiring.

10. Kill Bill 1 & 2 (2003)

Uma Thurman is a boss, and everyone knows it. She is so vice tally connected to her inner life as an actress, always enjoy watching her. These films are what she is most known for nowadays, and for good reason. It’s a story of revenge. A woman is almost murdered by the man she loved, pregnant with his child. Wakes up in a hospital, having been in a coma for years. Suffered all kinds of indignities, she willed herself to walk again. Dragged herself by her fingernails until she could rise up, strengthen her skills as a warrior, and set out to settle old scores. She takes each person down one by one, yet you still find the humanity behind each character and the reasons why they did what they did and became who they were. It’s about survival, perseverance, and ultimately in the end–forgiveness. Leaving the past behind, to start over again.

11. She’s beautiful when she’s angry (2014)

It’s a documentary about the feminist movement in the 1960s and 1970s, with interviews with many of the women who were part of it. Sure, it makes you angry to see injustice, but it’s also highly uplifting to see what these women did, and how it paved the way for equality forty to fifty years later. These women were, and still are, amazing figures who haven’t stopped fighting.

12. How to make an American quilt

A group of older women reflecting on their lives around a quilting table. Each of their stories are so inspiring, and the way they all come together to heal from their traumas is very powerful. Winona Ryder’s character (Finn) is experiencing a late twenties crisis of identity, and is unsure about wether or not to get married to her long term fiancée. Listening to the lives of all these women helps bring perspective and clarity to her. Life is never black and white, life is like a quilt. You build as you go along.

13. Frida

This Selma Hayek-fronted, Academy Award-winning biopic of the feminist icon portrays the artist in a whole new light. It’s amazing to watch the story of any incredible historic figure succeed against the odds, but double if said figure is also a woman and shot so beautifully by Julie Taymor.

14. The hours (2002)

This film follows three women as their lives weave in and around the narrative of Virginia Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway. The multi-generational movie shows how people are connected through time by similar angst, anxieties, and personal struggles.

15. The Stepford wives (1975)

What happens to women when things are too perfect? The answer might make their husbands happy, but the truth behind what is happening in this ideal-seeming suburb is nothing short of horrifying.

16. Miss Representation (2011)

A documentary on the way women are treated and portrayed in the media, this film broke open the truth behind the images women and young girls are force fed on a daily basis. Start your watching here, if you can, and then continue on to these other films to see how much has and hasn’t changed.

17. North Country (2005)

A fictionalized account of the first majorly successful sexual harassment case in the United States, this film follows the female miners who fought for their right to work without suffering the abuse their male coworkers heaped on them because of their gender.

18. The Headless Woman, Lucrecia Martel

New Argentine Cinema figure Lucrecia Martel draws connections to the country’s dark political/class struggles, transposing its “disappeared” from the mid-to-late ‘70s into a sedate, challenging story about a woman’s fractured state following a fatal accident and its ensuing cover-up.

18. Princess Mononoke, Hayao Miyazaki

A thread of feminism weaves itself through the work of Hayao Miyazaki. Perhaps his most mature film, Princess Mononoke features a memorable and tenacious heroine, San, who subverts feminine stereotypes and is written without the fanciful quirks commonly found in animation. She is serious and single minded. Grounded to the earth, living in the moment. She is totally present, and pure. Even her rage comes from a pure unadulterated place. Wolf-goddess character Moro deserves attention as an unlikely mother figure that is fierce and, well, totally pissed off (you would be too if people were destroying your home), but also wise and nurturing. Fighting for what’s right, against impossible odds. Being humbled by nature, the ultimate female reclamation. So many layers in this film.

19. Dogfight, Nancy Savoca

A rare film set during the Vietnam War and told from the perspective of a woman, Nancy Savoca’s Dogfight reveals a different kind of cruelty people inflict upon one another, off the battlefield — in this case, a group of misogynistic Marines using women in a contest of looks. Lili Taylor’s peace-loving Rose, who becomes one of the targets in this game, soon realizes she’s being courted by River Phoenix’s Eddie for the wrong reasons — though his guilt and seemingly genuine interest in Rose is apparent. Rose confronts Eddie about the game, defending the honor of all women involved, which winds up bringing them closer together.

20. Alien, Ridley Scott

She’s not a sidekick, arm candy, or a damsel to be rescued. She isn’t a fantasy version of a woman. The character is strong enough to survive multiple screenwriters. She was lucky enough to be played by Sigourney Weaver,” said Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America President John Scalzi of Ellen Ripley from 1979’s Alien. Defying genre cinema’s gender clichés (she is gender neutral, really) as the clear-minded, intelligent, and capable officer of the ship Nostromo, Ripley is more resourceful than the men who employ her and steps in to take over when all hell breaks loose.

21. Orlando, Sally Potter

Our own Judy Berman recently highlighted Tilda Swinton’s performance in Potter’s adaptation of Virginia Woolf’s satirical text that explores gender and artistic subjectivity, a project that was ambitious in both form and content:

“Although it’s far more straightforward a narrative than most of her work, Virginia Woolf’s Orlando still presents one major challenge for the big screen: its protagonist is a nobleman in Elizabethan England who lives a life that spans centuries, and is suddenly transformed into a woman midway through it. Tilda Swinton may be the only (allegedly) human actor equipped to play the role of such a regal, mysterious androgyne, and her performance in this adaptation — also a breakthrough for director Sally Potter — became her signature.”

22. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Jacques Demy

Celebrated for its vivid milieu, Jacques Demy’s sensitively characterized film is a superior look at an independent woman (Catherine Deneuve) in a romantic narrative who makes difficult choices about marriage, children, and survival that sometimes leave her alone — but she is never lonely because of that.

23. Daisies, Vera Chytilová

The young women in Vera Chytilová’s Czech New Wave farce “construct fluid identities for themselves, keenly aware of their sexuality, toying with the men who pursue them. It’s an exhilarating, surreal, anarchic experiment, framed by the turbulent 1960s.

24. Daughters of the Dust, Julie Dash

Julie Dash directed the first feature film by an African-American woman distributed theatrically in the United States in 1991 — a stunningly captured look at three generations of Gullah women off the coast of South Carolina and Georgia in 1902.

25. Meshes of the Afternoon, Maya Deren

The bar for avant-garde female filmmaking, born from personal experiences and anxieties. Maya Deren’s 1943 experimental classic builds its interior female perspective and constructs of selfhood through dreamlike imagery.

26. The Passion of Joan of Arc, Carl Theodor Dreyer

Critic Jonathan Rosenbaum on Carl Theodor Dreyer’s crowning achievement, released in 1928, that still painfully echoes contemporary cases of female oppression — the film’s silent context taking on an unintentional resonance:

“Carl Dreyer’s last silent, the greatest of all Joan of Arc films… . Joan is played by stage actress Renee Falconetti, and though hers is one of the key performances in the history of movies, she never made another film. (Antonin Artaud also appears in a memorable cameo.) Dreyer’s radical approach to constructing space and the slow intensity of his mobile style make this ‘difficult’ in the sense that, like all the greatest films, it reinvents the world from the ground up. It’s also painful in a way that all Dreyer’s tragedies are, but it will continue to live long after most commercial movies have vanished from memory.”

#asks #feminist #feminism #cinema #feminist film #feminist cinema

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colorlatina · 6 years

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Latinizing Abortion Stories

Reflections on my experience Latinizing abortions stories for COLOR’S Transcreation Project:

Why did I choose to participate?

By Monica Padilla It is my experience that simply speaking the word “abortion” instantly leads the listener to a place of often-contrary emotions, thoughts, and judgments. This appears to be true in mainstream culture. However, in the Latinx culture, whose traditional and often confusing odes to chastity, motherhood, religion, and gender norms are at the forefront, “olvidate”, the word “aborto” fills the air with stigma and …disdain. For this reason, a woman is often filled with shame at the mere thought of having an abortion and many times destined to a guilt-ridden life if she follows through often feeling alone and lacking support, because, “que diran?” I would like to think that was then, generations ago, but repeatedly I hear stories of mujeres sharing how true this is for them still today. They hide in a closet of secret shame. Shame keeps us a prisoner as it silences us with invisible shackles; shame keeps us from rising. My body, my choice echoes across a march supporting women's rights; I like the sound of this. It feels right in my soul. I join the chant and scream:

My body! My choice! Her body! Her choice!

I feel strong as my body vibrates these words. As a previously conservative, religious, and pro-life Chicana this feeling was often foreign to me. For a mere second I doubt my beliefs about abortion and choice. This topic has a way of resurrecting familial, cultural, and religious roots. Whose dogma do I follow? I ask myself, as I silence the inner voices of my own oppressor and I begin again:

My body, My choice!

I then hear my own seven-year-old daughter marching next to me chanting in her little girl voice:

My body, My choice!

I hear my six-year-old son chanting in his little boy voice,

“Her body, Her Choice!”

I smile with confirmation; I know this is the only truth I will support.

Yes! I say to her, Your body, baby Your choice!

To him I say, Yes, that’s right, “Her body, Her choice!”

This is indeed the world I want for them! At such a pivotal time in history, mujeres need to continue to join forces and continue the fight that says:

I matter! I will use my voice!

Women should have the right to make informed decisions concerning their, physical, mental, spiritual, political, and economic well-being. This is what reproductive justice is about and it doesn't stop here. It is merely the entrance to a world of all human rights. It is a door that leads to the empowerment of women and also taking into consideration all intersections, so women of all ages know that they have options, access, and education to information affecting their very lives. It is important women proceed informed and powerful in their decisions and take action from a place of clarity and options. I see our future full of women awakened to a world in which they are the master designers of their life. Historically, for the Latinx community this has not always been true. I feel a change coming, I see women rising globally. This is the world I strive for and believe in, a world of equality and justice for all.

This is why I love the agency, COLOR. They are dedicated to the education and empowerment of our comunidad, using the door of reproductive justice to enter into the world of all justices for mujeres, and ultimately for all people!

This is why I chose to be a part of their transcreation abortion project, which involves taking abortion stories and adapting them to reach the Latinx community thru play and storytelling. Now, returning to the odes of sexual purity and religious infiltration interspersed in the very fabric of many Latinx communities. Well, the truth is: we can only reach another human heart when we meet people where they are.

It is when we speak their language, when we speak their world, their hearts open!

We are often afraid of what is not familiar. Once we share universal experiences of love, loss, and pain and relate at a heart level we intrinsically become unafraid and more connected.

That is what these stories are about, woman sharing their experiences and their journeys to freedom. Transforming these mainstream stories and filling them with nuance and innuendo from our Latinx culture is a powerful vehicle for dismantling the judgment and the stigma that still lingers on. It is a way of interjecting corazón and sazón into difficult stories in an effort to bridge the gap from judgment to empathy. To attempt to reach across generational thoughts embedded in culture and religion that may no longer serve us. I truly believe that where love and genuine human connection are present, there is no space for disdain. Stigma is then slowly eradicated, one story at a time. Instead of crucifying our women, we embrace them knowing we can never truly understand what someone is going through until we've lived their life. May we live with grace and commitment to helping our mujeres rise! Thanks to COLOR for their transcreation project in leading the path toward dismantling abortion stigma in the Latinx community.

#stigma #latinx #truth #woc #abortion #health care #family #familia

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yogaposesfortwo · 4 years

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Women's Empowerment Through Yoga

Six years ago, when I was scraping my way through graduate school, I found a free yoga class that I desperately needed. I learned how to stretch, breathe, strengthen, and how to let go; yoga gave me an education better than Harvard. I fell to my mat with a list of traumas, most of which I didn’t even know the words for, let alone how to cultivate self-awareness around them. The list was long: Divorced parents, gum disease, insomnia, adrenal fatigue, exercise addiction, abusive romances, binge eating disorder, a handful of my English students lost to gang violence, amenorrhea, and a severely dislocated shoulder—yet from my mat I saw them all as opportunities. It was during those private moments, when I exchanged a few work-study hours for vinyasa classes, that changing my life became both accessible and sustainable. There’s a lot of chatter in the yoga world about how modern practice emphasizes the physical component, resulting in the loss of yoga’s purpose to unite ourselves with our highest nature. The Yoga Service Council, CNNMoney, The Huffington Post, Yoga Dork, The Atlantic, Elephant Journal, and The New York Times have all pointed this out. Other publications have noted that it’s also an activity that is overwhelmingly white and wealthy. The majority of practitioners are female, and 76.4 percent of them are white. A majority of these women make over $75,000 annually. And yet the purpose of yoga, at its root, is a mission that can be undertaken by all people. Uniting ourselves with our highest nature is just an eloquent way of saying “to educate.” The word education comes from the root e from ex (out) and duco (I lead). It means a leading out. As Muriel Spark writes, “To me, education is a leading out of what is already there in the pupil’s soul.” Educating women and girls equals closing gender gaps, which leads to an increase in life expectancy, the fostering of academic achievement, broader access to economic opportunity, and equality in household and societal voice. With so many women practicing yoga, or involved in the yoga lifestyle, it seems intuitive that yoga should be a part of an accessible education. By making classes affordable and creating more than just headstand workshops as a way to educate our women, we impact the local—and eventually global—community. The question then is how to make studios inexpensive and pedagogic without compromising success. From a business perspective, rent is pricey so your classes cannot be the only revenue stream. My own yoga teacher (and Wanderlust presenter), Elena Brower, takes yoga and education up several gorgeous, powerful notches both live and online with Art of Attention. I, too, am working on innovating the classic yoga studio model with SHAKTIBARRE—the yoga-café-empowerment collective with sliding-scale prices. The yoga industry’s possibility—and responsibility—to further women’s development may just be another well-intentioned idea that you forget after reading this article. But think of how many women have initiated profound changes when yoga was made available. I recall Kathy, a high school student of mine back in Miami who, after learning about Eastern texts and the potential for inner healing, wrote her very first poem as a confession that she was raped at age 4. By her own father. Kathy’s painfully tragic story is also one of hope, because she represents the 39 percent of yogis that practice at home because studios are too socioeconomically and culturally exclusive. What if Kathy had started sooner? What if her sister, mother, and now two children could come to the same yoga studio you attend? There is still controversy over who invented yoga but this much is true—the yoga industry is 82.2 percent female. “Women have been gurus, healers, yoginis, and Goddesses since the beginning of time,” says Ramesh Bjonnes. As such, we have much more potential together as an empowered sisterhood than the exclusive consumer classism of yoga today. Let’s start changing the world. —

Corinne Wainer is an educational psychologist and registered yoga teacher in New York. As director of YoGirls Program and CEO of SHAKTIBARRE Women’s Collective, Corinne works actively and purposefully to empower women’s wellness education. 1The post Women’s Empowerment Through Yoga appeared first on Wanderlust. Author: Corinne Wainer Source: https://wanderlust.com/journal/womens-empowerment-through-yoga-uk/ Discover more info about Yoga for Two People here: www.yogaposesfortwo.com Read the full article

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lati-will · 7 years

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Full Moon in Sagittarius – Closed Chapters, New Beginnings

A time of both deep healing and extreme upheaval, recent energy patterns have brought each of us a new awareness of our own emotional needs, traumas and triggers, and as a result, we have begun a process of re-evaluating our self, our identity, our values and our ideals — a process that has brought much mental unrest. Now, with a new sense of self firmly in place, we are having to re-adapt to the outer world, and realign our lives according to our newfound inner knowing.

The energy patterns of the past lunar cycle have not only supported but necessitated a process of liberation; of releasing ourselves from patterns and emotional connections that no longer support our new evolutionary direction, and making new space for what truly resonates with our souls. However this process — like evolution and enlightenment itself — is both a process of destruction and creation, death and rebirth. So, as we liberate ourselves of our past patterns, hurts and limitations, now is simultaneously a time of closing old chapters and creating new beginnings that align with our most soulful desires and dreams.

Let’s look at the evolutionary intention of today’s Full Moon in Sagittarius and the astrological alignments of the coming lunar cycle.

The Sun in Gemini oppose The Moon and Saturn in Sagittarius square Chiron in Pisces

The energy of today’s Full Moon brings us some powerful levels of awakening. With the Moon in a completion phase to Saturn, we are dissolving past emotional connections to beliefs, ideals and relationships that once were true and beneficial for us, and facing deep realizations — that the things in our lives that no longer serve us and our greatest potential must be dissolved.

Although this process of dissolution may seem destructive, it also invites us to stand clear of our past and our previous attachments, and to see the new directions and potentials opening up before us.

Moreover, this process of creation won’t necessarily be clear to us at first, and neither should we rely on the (limited) Mind as the only tool through which to understand this transition. Currently Mercury (the mind) is making a Square alignment to Neptune, making things even more unclear to the logical mind.

For that reason, this is a time not to over-think but to watch with awareness the experiences and feelings that come up for us, while being conscious of not judging them or attaching a story to them; to allow feelings and emotions to be released without judgment; to follow your heart and your intuition; to love and accept yourself as you are; to follow your passions; align with the flow of life; move forward with modesty and integrity; and to allow your life to unfold from within.

Mars in Cancer, Venus in Taurus and Jupiter in Libra

Supporting this process, Mars’ recent movement into the sign of Cancer will bring the further exploration of our deepest emotional nature. The nature of Mars is to push energy to the surface so we are able to understand the deeper and more complex emotional patterns held within our psyche. In the context today’s Full Moon, with Saturn and the Moon in a completion phase, we are being compelled to better understand our emotional relationships to our outer world — and in a period of such transition, this can cause a real sense of chaos and turmoil in both our inner and outer worlds.

Thankfully, Venus in Taurus adds a healthy dose of grounding to the chaos we are transiting through, helping us to slow down and view each situation through a more practical lens. And, from an evolutionary perspective, the transit of Venus through Taurus will promote a deep internal dialogue with ourselves about the nature of our feelings and emotions, helping us to manifest a new level of emotional awareness. This awareness offers us a sense of inner stability — the feeling that, despite the chaos turmoil we are experiencing, we will be okay no matter what.

Adding to this, Jupiter stations direct today, ending its recent retrograde cycle. This means that, in combination with the Moon and the Sun’s alignment and the completion phase of the Moon and Saturn, we are finally ready to make new choices that are purely rooted in liberation and self empowerment. With Jupiter representing our core values and perspectives, all past attachments to relationships and the truths we once held about them are being cleared away, and this opens us up to become more clear about what really is real and truthful for us, and what has a place in our futures.

The clarity brought to us by Jupiter’s return to a forward motion offers us a choice: an opportunity to choose our perspective. In the context of this great cosmic journey we are all on, everything is changing, and we can choose to experience our new direction as unsettling, or liberating.

Either way, the Shift has hit the fan.

North Node in Leo trine the Moon and Saturn in Sagittarius trine Uranus in Aries

Fundamentally, the trinity of Fire signs — Aries, Leo and Sagittarius — reflects the process of purifying and transmuting energy. As part of the great cosmic dance, this flow of energy leads us to find, explore and create new manifestations within our lives, in essence, breathing Fire into our evolutionary path. However the context of our lives and the stories we create within them can seem so confusing and chaotic at times — and that is especially true during periods of such intense transition.

Thankfully, the formation of this current Fire-trine alignment injects a sense of confidence, hope and optimism into the situation. Sudden changes and shocks will no doubt arise during this time, however with the energetic support of this Trinity of Fire, we are being called to respond to our changing circumstances with a sense of trust and a knowing that each event is leading us to release emotional baggage and trauma, furthering our spiritual evolution and bringing with it new feelings of revival and renewal — a welcome balance to the intensity of this period of transition.

The Full Moon Message: Closed Chapters, New Beginnings

Now is undoubtedly a period of closing chapters, new beginnings, and an overwhelming sense of uncertainty about the future. As our minds try to understand and then anticipate what is going on, the very structure of our reality seems to be cracking beneath our feet, giving rise to conflicting feelings of utter excitement and possibility, and also loss and the surfacing of fear, trauma and emotional pain.

Because of these conflicting feelings, it is almost impossible to navigate, process and understand these multiple dimensions of reality through the linear process of the mind, which, by its nature, constantly attempts to reconcile those conflicts. Natural order seems to the human mind to be chaos — and in fact, the very experience is fracturing our mental processes.

It is also making way for a new way of perceiving and defining our reality that is beyond the confines of the mind — one which we can choose to either resist, and distrust and deny, or embrace, and trust and celebrate. Whichever we choose, the mind can no longer be relied on as the primary tool through which we understand our reality.

We are changing at the most fundamental of levels. Everything is in motion right now, and yet, it is not clear to us as to which direction things are actually moving. And so we need to be flexible…

At an evolutionary level, we are untangling ourselves from the knots we have weaved ourselves into, by living within the creation of man-made order. We are releasing ourselves from the dynamics that inhibit the natural processes of creation to unravel and take shape and form.

Our reality consist of such a vast network of interconnections that the smallest change in one person’s day leads to a chain of affects that sweeps through the reality of everyone and everything in existence. So imagine then, what happens when all of us make far greater changes to our reality at once. This time of intensive transition is radically altering the very infrastructure we exist within. We are returning from a limited man-made order to an infinitely-complex natural order — one the mind cannot yet comprehend.

“Chaos theory simply suggests that what appears to most people as chaos is not really chaotic, but a series of different types of orders with which the human mind has not yet become familiar.” — Frederick Lenz

In order to maintain momentum and flow in the midst of such change, it is best to bring your mind to the present moment and allow yourself to process things as they arise. It is helpful to hold the knowing in your heart that you are part of a process far greater than yourself, and that, as each individual allows the natural order of their lives to unravel, so too is the natural order established from the chaos.

We are in the midst of what many call the Great Shift, and we are here to bear witness to this unprecedented evolutionary process as it happens within us and manifests around us. We are evolving into a state of awareness of the greater scheme of things, bringing our collective consciousness into a total shift in awareness and perception. If we all focus inwards on our immediate reality, and continue to connect and align our lives with the natural order, the re-organizing of our collective reality in line with that order is already inherent.

Every single experience you have — every love you share, every soul you touch, every trauma you heal — is contributing to the butterfly effect of this great unraveling process.

Everything is connected. Nothing is for the sake of itself.

That is the nature of the natural order.

Be the change!

By: Simon & Jennifer

#full moon #moon #strawberrymoon #change #astrology #universe #constellation #stars #multidimensionality #articles

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lokgifsandmusings · 7 years

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Definitive Ranking of Book 4 Episodes, #1/13

1. 4x02 Korra Alone

Non-linear all around perfect episode that explores Korra’s struggles with PTSD and I can’t even be funny about this. Oh and Toph.

This is a post that’s taken me some time to write, because addressing the perfection of this particular episode is a daunting task. I mean it. It’s not just the best episode of Book 4, it’s the best episode of the franchise. The most daring as well.

For a little bit of context, there’s an incredibly popular episode from Avatar: the Last Airbender called “Zuko Alone.” It picks up after he leaves Iroh in “Avatar Day,” because his uncle kind of pointed out that the hunt for the Avatar might be a tad on the futile side. His brain can’t reconcile this, so the episode instead shows him trying to blindly stick to this task, while feeling as though he has no place in the world, and being rejected by anyone who finds out who he really is. He struggles with inner darkness, inner pain, and the whole time his story is punctuated by flashbacks of his relationship to his sister, his mother’s disappearance, and his father’s ascension to Fire Lord.

I’m not sure I’d call it the high point of ATLA (“Crossroads of Destiny” gets that honor), but it is kind of everything with regards to Zuko, easily one of the strongest characters Bryke have ever written. Also it did a great job of not endorsing his self-destructive tendencies or making excuses for him.

“Korra Alone” was announced (and screened) at the 2014 New York Comic Con, and when Bryke first said the episode title, the audience screamed. Smugly, from the comfort of my couch, I shook my head at the livestream and declared that there was no way this could measure up.

Well, color me dead wrong. I forgot that it was starring Korra, and she not only measures up, she creates a new goddamned reality the world didn’t know it needed.

Just thinking about the episode for first-time viewers, it does exactly what it needs to do. It’s impactful coming off the [mostly] Korra-less “After All These Years” to not just see her, but feel what she’s going through and feel that isolation, even when she’s surrounded by her parents and other loved ones. Though it somewhat takes on the travel+flashbacks format of “Zuko Alone,” even Korra’s present-day plot isn’t strictly sequential—most notably with us learning the real reason she entered the earthbending cage-match, with the flashes moving faster to get her to the swamp. It gives the entire episode a very ungrounded feel, which for the viewer does two things:

You desperately begin to want Korra to connect and be stabilized, because there is an inherent discomfort from the loose form for your brain (not a bad thing...an effective discomfort)

It REALLY gives the impression that time is passing in this episode

The second point is especially striking when you consider the scope. We’ve got in one “plotline” (for lack of a better term): Korra underground fighting, following a ‘dog’, and getting sucked into the swamp where she meets Toph. This alone covers significant ground. Then we have her flashbacks of leaving Republic City, not improving in her home and Senna begging her to go to Katara, Katara’s first healing session, the letters from friends that paint time as passing, Katara’s ‘wiggle your toe’ session, Tenzin visiting, Korra’s narrated letter to Asami while she meditates and trains, her leaving the SWT, her failing to apprehend the thieves, turning from Yue Bay, cutting her hair and donning new clothes, the tree of time scene, then traversing every possible landscape.

HOW WAS THIS ALL IN A 22 MINUTE EPISODE?

Yeah. This is three years, no question about it. It’s visually stunning, but there’s also this extreme sense of loss that the viewer is clued into, and the aimlessness that is heavily felt. Korra’s physical appearance changing was the external manifestation of this, and the symbolism surrounding it was as clear as when Iroh and Zuko did the same nearly 8 years prior. Toph popping out at the end is the one bit of relief, and it *really* shines, especially given her voice actor being perfect and sounding instantly familiar to us (did Philece Sampler just watch hours and hours of Jessie Flower footage or something??).

I can’t see this not landing for someone the first time through, to be perfectly honest. It sets up Korra’s journey for the season, and with her still out of touch from Raava and still away from friends and family, there’s a lot that needs resolving, and that the audience should definitely want to see resolved.

Placing “Korra Alone” in the context of the entire season, and the series at that (or even the franchise) is a different ballgame. Not a worse one, but it certainly means that you can consider this in Korra’s healing arc as a whole.

I’ll fully admit I was not 100% on-board with Dark!Korra being the representation for PTSD at first, even though this is, at the end of the day, a Y7 show that needs to break down these concepts to children. However, it worked within this episode, and given how the whole thing was resolved through mindful meditation (plus how the little bit of metal Korra extracted didn’t end up being a cure-all), I think it justified itself in a general sense.

In the case of “Korra Alone” alone (lol), it worked in a sort of 3rd person omniscient way, to quickly convey Korra reliving this moment and having a ton of anxiety each time it occurred. What had the potential for being a bit of a cheap visual metaphor instead mostly landed, giving us a kind of visceral understanding of that anxiety (and as someone who’s had to explain what that feels like to people who’ve never experienced it, that’s really no easy task).

When it comes to Korra’s healing arc as a whole, I’m going to have to be an asshole and tell you that Gretchen ( @theonewithpurplehair ) and I are planning on writing something about it when she gets back from South Africa. It will be lengthy and emotional and talk about THEMES and how important this is. We do that.

But even in advance of it, I think there’s a point to be made about Bryke choosing to have a healing arc in the first place. They didn’t have to, you know. And for some, especially in light of the indelicately worded “I needed to suffer” quote from the final episode, having two white men use a bisexual indigenous woman to explore a story about recovering from extensive trauma is uncomfortable, which is absolutely a valid tension.

However, something I think @glamourweaver highlighted best back when fandom dialogue was more...heightened, was that like it or not, Korra’s gone through major traumas throughout the show. In Book 1, she lost most of her bending and was so affected there was not-subtle-at-all suicide imagery included. Then Aang’s magic touch fixed her depression! Yay!

In Book 2, she had Raava ripped out of her and lost her (admittedly newfound) connection to her past lives, calling into question her very identity as the Avatar. The whole astral-projection thing she did? That was just Korra’s strength of soul, separate from anything to do with reincarnated powers. So yeah, reconnecting with Raava and becoming the first Avatar of a new spiritual age would totally be healing, but the idea that there’s no trauma she’d need to explore? Book 3 is near and dear to me, but in many ways it almost feels like a new show, complete with not bothering to tap into implications of the first 2 seasons. Whoops!

It’s yeah, not great how much she was put through the wringer when you get down to it. But Bryke are conscientious and tend to fix their mistakes. In a lot of ways, Korra being given PTSD—like...realistic PTSD—and an ensuing healing arc in Book 4 was the direct answer to everything previously glossed over.

The result? To that, I’ll just go ahead and quote @beccatoria’s essay (seriously, read it), because it lays out the meaning so well:

“This brings us to the final part of my argument: forming new meanings. The therapies I have mentioned so far focus on the physiological issues. The brain blows a fuse and can't process what it has experienced, so if you fix the fuse, you fix the processing problem. This still leaves a person who has been through an extremely traumatic event. PTSD almost always presents alongside issues such as depression and can lead to feelings of isolation and guilt. Individuals may either feel emotionally disconnected or emotionally out of control and have often internalised damaging messages as a result of their trauma. There is often a focus on creating new meanings as these memories are re-examined. We see this in Korra's evolving attitude to her own experiences.

Zaheer asserts that her power is limitless. She should never have been able to survive the poison. He offers her an opportunity to recontextualise her survival as evidence of her enormous resilience and strength rather than as a failure because she did not survive unscathed. While she is recovering, Katara tells her about Aang and how he chose to find meaning in his suffering. “What will I find?” Korra wonders. “Won't it be interesting to find out?” Katara asks. The answer comes in her final conversation with Tenzin. Korra chooses to form new meanings for her experiences, and chooses to find a message of compassion and empathy.”

Yes, the landing was not 100% perfect, but the recontextualization of her suffering and subsequent empowerment through that was clear. Korra ended the series hopeful about the future, and more at peace than we had seen her—certainly more at peace than that flailing teenager who was more willing to demand a duel with Amon than admit fear. She had grown and found ways to reconcile what happened into how she wanted to lead her life.

Do you mind if I get personal for three seconds? I have general anxiety, as well as a very specific (and admittedly mild) trauma associated with driving, and though I’ll never equate my experience to Korra’s brutalization (seriously, mine just involves a hangover, a large cup of coffee, pizza, and a bridge), there is something about that terror of being out-of-control I identify with, and it features so strongly in Korra’s arc. I also know what it’s like to want to will something away and fight against everything that’s happening. Why can’t my stupid brain just STOP?

But the thing is, like beccatoria said, it’s about contextualizing it. Anxiety never goes away, and it certainly can’t be willed out of the forefront. But you can choose to look at things with a new point of view. To be able to sit with a feeling and recognize what it is, even if it’s massively uncomfortable or puts your body in flight-or-fright mode. Personally, I’ve come to look at my anxiety/intrusive thoughts as a very badly behaved cat. The cat is weirdly trying to protect me, and truly thinks this is what will help keep me safe, but well...it’s an idiot:

Still, it’s *my* idiot, damnit, and now when I drive, I can just picture her in the passenger seat chewing on the emergency brake. She’s also the survival mechanism my brain came up with to shield me from more chaotic forces in my life, and that’s kind of neato, when you get down to it.

*Kind of*, okay? (I still need to replace this chair, though Trystane Nymeros has done more damage to it with his many toes).

The point is, Korra’s story is powerful and salubrious because she just...goes through hell and back, she really does. But she not only finds meaning in it, she finds positivity and hope. She is at her MOST secure when she flings herself in front of that spirit gun, and then talks down the season antagonist with a few words. It’s uplifting, without pulling *any* punches on how ugly and terrifying and isolating PTSD can be.

There were punches thrown outside of “Korra Alone” too, but that was the episode that waded in most deeply, and somehow did it in an appropriate fashion for a Y7 show. I can’t sing its praises enough, truly.

Having laid this all out, it seems almost trite to mention the Korrasami aspects of the episode. It didn’t escape the fandom that Korra telling Tonraq and Senna she wanted to go back home read like a coming out conversation, and the “Dear Asami” sequence is without question the most stunning of the episode. Though @queertoonqueertoons lays out why there’s other reasons for that as well. But like, what can be said? Korra lets herself be vulnerable around Asami in a way she won’t with others, and Asami asks for very little in return. It was a nice, continuing thread, but it never became a focal point of the episode, or the series, so shame on me if I buck the trend.

I can give overall thoughts on Book 4 when I pull together the final post for this ranking, but like Korra, I think I’m ending on a pensive and positive note. “Korra Alone” will do that for you, even though it may be the darkest episode of the franchise. What a masterpiece.

#13: 4x08 “Remembrances”

#12: 4x11 “Kuvira’s Gambit”

#11: 4x09 “Beyond the Wilds”

#10: 4x07 “Reunion”

#9: 4x06 The “Battle of Zaofu”

#8. 4x12 “Day of Colossus”

#7 4x01 “After All These Years”

#6 4x03 “The Coronation”

#5 4x04 “The Calling”

#4 4x05 “Enemy at the Gates”

#3 4x10 “Operation Beifong”

#2 4x13 “The Last Stand”

Book 2 ranking/essays found here

#korra #lok #lok meta #korra alone #book 4 ranking #meta #korra 4x02

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bethebean66 · 7 years

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Best Albums of 2016

Allllright friends! That time of the year is finally here! Or, well... It came and went really. But, I was sick at the New Year, and my family was busy bumping our holidays, so my schedule was all out of whack. Now though! Is finally the time... My year end list of the best albums of 2016!

This was a pretty strange year for music for me. One of my favorite albums came out right away. One of them was released basically out of nowhere. A handful of top albums I never would have put on there any other year. And, another chunk just completely surprised me and have to be mentioned here.

No real use chatting away. Getting right into things, here's my top 25 albums of the year; with a quick rundown of my 25-11:

25. Béyonce — Lemonade 24. Conor Oberst — Ruminations 23. NxWorries — Yes Lawd! 22. Kaytranada — 99.9% 21. Blood Orange — Freetown Sound 20. Angel Olsen — My Woman 19. Wilco — Schmilco 18. Run the Jewels — Run the Jewels 3 17. Kamaiyah — A Good Night in the Ghetto 16. Flume — Skin 15. Leonard Cohen — You Want It Darker 14. James Blake — The Colour of Anything 13. Car Seat Headrest — Teens of Denial 12. Radiohead — A Moon Shaped Pool 11. Bon Iver — 22, A Million

Trust me, ordering those wasn't the easiest. Some real random albums on there, for me at least. A lot more smaller names than I ever list. And, a lot more music from the hip-hop world. Also, I'm pretty sure I've never placed Radiohead, Bon Iver, or James Blake outside of my top 10. With these fifteen out of the way though, onto the good part of the list! Here we go folks, my top ten albums of 2016...

10. A Tribe Called Quest — We got it from Here... Thank You 4 Your Service 18 YEARS. Eighteen years it had been since we last got an album from one of hip-hop's great acts. Drawing from formulas Tribe has proved successful, We got it from Here demonstrates why this group has remained in the upper echelon of artists, even in their absence. With deep influences of East Coast hip-hop, classic jazz undertones, guests spots from both long-time Tribe friends Busta Rhymes and Consequence, as well as current kings like Kendrick Lamar, Kanye West, Andre 3000, Anderson .Paak—Even a perfectly placed drop from the late former member Phife Dawg—this was arguably the best hip-hop album, and best surprise album of the year.

Favorite Tracks: We the People..., Dis Generation, Kids...

9. Vince Staples — Prima Donna This one is sort of sneaking onto the list. I typically don't include EP's. But, Prima Donna had to be on this list. You get five seconds into War Ready, and you'll understand exactly why (hint: it has to do with a brilliantly used sample of Outkast/Andre 3000). Just seven tracks and twenty-one minutes long, this albums comes with a heavy punch right to your chest. Vince is a force to be reckoned with in this game. If you don't know his name yet, you're going to soon.

Favorite Tracks: War Ready, Smile, Big Time

8. Solange — A Seat at the Table Yes, Solange made the better album of the Knowles sisters. Every year has an album that takes a political stance, covers our current events, touches on topics at hand—This is that album. A Seat at the Table brings funk, soul, and R&B blended together to deliver a message of empowerment, grief, healing, and weariness. We brush on prejudice, and struggles with racism in the current culture—in a way that truly speaks to you as a listener. Solange changed her sound and style, and she landed in a space I hope she plans to stay.

Favorite Tracks: Cranes in the Sky, Don't Touch My Hair, Don't You Wait

7. Anderson .Paak — Malibu Okay, yes, I'm going to get flack from the crew over at VNYL for placing this so low (really, is 7 even low?). But, it still made the list! Put it this way, .Paak had one of the best years of anyone not named Chance or Donald Glover. He was everywhere (including earlier on my list). This dude not only has one of the most soulful voices, best bands, and killer features—he appeared on practically every big album of the last couple of years. .Paak and Malibu have drawn similarities to both Stevie Wonder and Kendrick Lamar. The most difficult thing to do to this album is categorize it. Blurring more lines than a horrible 2013 pop hit, Malibu reaches Funk, R&B, Soul, Hip-Hop, and a number of smaller sub-genres. This is an album for music fans, even if you doubt you'd like it. Put this on, and play it loud. You'll be dancing to it before the end of the opening track.

Favorite Tracks: Am I Wrong, Silicon Valley, Heart Don't Stand A Chance

6. Sturgill Simpson — A Sailor's Guide to Earth A lot of people first heard Simpson's name from his beautiful cover of In Bloom. I so hope that you dove into this Grammy nominated album (Album of the Year and Best Country Album). Described as a "modern Waylon Jennings," Simpson is making country music for non-country fans. A more personal album than I ever expected, A Sailor's Guide is a letter written to his wife and newborn son while stationed away for the Navy. Singing over Sharon Jones' Dap-Kings, Simpson wrote and performed one of my favorite concept albums in recent memory. If this is the future of country music, consider me sold.

Favorite Tracks: Breakers Roar, Sea Stories, In Bloom

5. Chance the Rapper — Coloring Book Another sort of cheat on the list, as I don't typically include mixtures either. But, when the mixtape is better than most everything else released that year—on the list it goes! With elements of hip-hop, gospel, and rap, Chance has never shined so bright. Put it this way, while recording, Chance was able to get the following artists on board: Kanye West, Justin Bieber, Francis and the Lights, Justin Bieber, and Ty Dolla Sign. He even locked down Kirk Franklin and the Chicago Children's Choir. There's a reason he played for President Obama so many times. Honestly, there isn't a lot to say about this album. It's a must listen. So, just go do that.

Favorite Tracks: No Problem, Blessings, All Night

4. Gallant — Ology From the opening note of Ology, you can tell you're in for a treat. And then... And then you hear Gallant's falsetto. That incredible falsetto. Truthfully, I don't know if I've ever heard a more impressive introduction to a debut album. Gallant is a force. A voice this big, yet it feels as though you're peering into a room of just him and his pains. This album starts on a high note (figuratively and literally), and just builds and binds as you listen. Drawing the attention from artists such as Frank Ocean, Seal, even Prince, Gallant finally found his voice and gifted us the album he's waited his entire life to make. And we couldn't be more thankful.

Favorite Tracks: Bourbon, Skipping Stones, Bone + Tissue

3. Frank Ocean — Blond(e) Yes, I attached/didn't attach the "e." Debate as you'd like. Is this a digital vs physical release thing? Is it a deeper gender rooted one from Frank himself? Right now, it's because whichever version you take, I'm talking about that one. This year, we were not only graced with the long awaited follow-up to 2012's phenomenal Channel Orange, but we were given TWO albums from Frank. Because Endless was never officially released in anything but video format, I'm not going to cover it. Blonde though... This album was everything we waited for and so much more. Full of twists and turns, loose ends and sprawling melodies, there are so many elements here that seem out of place, yet work as strengths. Carefully crafted landscapes weave us through the deep emotions Frank seems to shelter from everyone. We get a glimpse at the romantic, at the beauty, the depth that makes Frank Frank. This album was vastly different than his previous. This album is sparse, it's vacant, but not hollow. You're in an empty room, but there's so space to move. Pitchfork said it perfectly, stating, "These songs are not for marching, but they still serve a purpose. They’re about everyday lives, about the feat of just existing, which is a statement in its own right."

Favorite Tracks: Solo, Pink + White, Nights, White Ferrari

2. Childish Gambino — Awaken, My Love I've been a fan of Gambino for the very beginning. The nerdy hipster that raps about Freaks and Geeks, and Sufjan Stevens—so different, and so relatable. Queue 2016 Gambino. When Glover decided to reinvent his musical persona and punch us all in the gut when he decided to channel his inner 70's and give us the record nobody ever saw being made. The rapper we knew is gone. No more Adele samples. Instead, we bring in R&B, psych rock, soul, and funk. With the lead singles Me and Your Mama and Redbone, a new era was upon us. Name drops of Prince, of D'Angelo, of Sly and the Family Stone, of George Clinton! Glover reinvented himself in a way that shocked the music world. Redbone was arguably the best song of the year. The retro fusion created, with the absence of rap altogether, is a treat. Hearing Glover sing, actually sing (and with no vocal manipulation), makes this album what it is. Yes, this is a different Childish Gambino. Yes, I miss the old. But, I'm not the slightest bit worried with where he is going. Glover was finally cast in a Spiderman. He created, directed, stared in his own new Golden Globe winning show. He was cast in a new Star Wars film. Then he wrapped the year by releasing one of the most groundbreaking records in the last few years. Needless to say, Donald Glover and Childish Gambino handedly won 2016.

Favorite Tracks: Redbone, Me and Your Mama, Have Some Love, Boogieman

1. David Bowie — Black Star Look up here, I'm in heaven / I've got scars that can't be seen...

A true gift to the world, from the legend that is David Bowie, on his 69th birthday. A heartbreaking and beautiful farewell to his fans, just two days before his passing. Bowie's swan song, his departing gift. He had recorded the entire album over the previous year in complete secrecy. Upon its release, the world was shocked. Applauded as one of his best works—becoming his first, and only, number one record in the States.

Touching on genres from industrial rock, hip-hop, jazz, and art rock, influencers ranged from Kendrick Lamar to Boards of Canada. This is not a pop album. But, this is a Bowie album through and through. He experiments, he hides messages, he reaches out to touch those lost and confused.

Bowie was a star, a Spaceman, an anomaly. He gifted us with music that will last forever. This collection of songs is breathtaking. It's hauntingly beautiful, and uplifting. He will forever be missed, and forever be loved. Leaving us with some of his best work was a move that only he could make.

Sean O'Neal, of the A.V. Club, perfectly stated, "a sonically adventurous album that proves Bowie was always one step ahead — where he'll now remain in perpetuity."

Thank you for everything. Rest in peace, Mr. Stardust...

Favorite Tracks: This album is seven songs long. Listen to it all. Bowie deserves that.

---

What a year of music. Truthfully, I wish I had spent more time with it. There weren't as many big albums as years past. But, so many more gems. There were albums from favorite artists of mine that I basically completely overlooked (Sorry Jimmy Eat World, Thrice, Regina Spektor!!!). I'm surprised as many of you with some of spots on my list. But, these were all amazing albums. Very excited to see what these artists have in store for the future.

Looking past these, and into 2017, I want to list my five most anticipated albums to come. Some we may not get (I see you Brand New), but hopefully these are all in the coming months.

Japandroids

LCD Soundsystem

Gorillaz

Fleet Foxes

Spoon

Then, just because I'm not adding any honorable mentions to my best of list this year, I'm adding five more to my most anticipated. HEY, it's my list, I can do what I want!

TV on the Radio

Chromatics

Grizzly Bear

The xx

Arcade Fire

Okayyyy... That's it! That's my wrap up. 2016 is done and gone. And I'm already diving into 2017. I'm excited to see what music is to come. I'm excited to expand my ever growing vinyl collection. I'm excited to see better and better concerts. And, I'm excited to experience those incredible musical moments with the my favorite friends and loved ones. Follow me on Discogs, Spotify, or Last.fm. Happy New Year everyone.

#music #best of

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