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#dont tell me if she is or not i wanna find out for myself
end-orfino · 1 year
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SPIDER QUEEN IS FUCKING DEAD?
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opens-up-4-nobody · 6 months
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...
#yet again i fail to convince my counselor i have executive function problems. mostly its bc i dont think well in the moment but also i just#feel kinda weird rn so i was having trouble making my thoughts connect. but i swear to christ i do have problems making my executives#function. i think the issue is im a grad student so i do well in school. not that it matters bc i kno loads of grad students with pretty#god awful adhd. one of my former lab mates was like. Adderall barely made her normal. and yet she was still a phd student#so like. its possible to have executive function issues as a grad student. the problem with me is the obsessive thoughts and self#destructive behavior so to her it sounds like im telling myself that i cant get my brain to work unless i put myself under extreme pressure#rather than i cant get my brain to work so to cope im putting myself under extreme pressure bc if i dont nothing gets done#but like fucking if i try to relax i dont do things. i cant clean my kitchen or my room or take out the trash or do my laundry#and im not like not doing it bc i dont wanna. these things r causing me active distress but i cant flip the switch that makes them happen#ive gotta write a grant proposal. read a paper. and find a paper to discuss by tomorrow morning. i had time to do all of this before but i#didnt do it. y didnt i do it? fucking i dont kno. ugh. whatever. i got refered to a psychiatrist so well see what happens there#i did accidentally set the meeting to when i meet with my advisor tho. oops. also my counselor said it sounds like im a rat running on a#wheel. which is accurate but also a really fucking funny thing to have said abt u. ur r a scrawny neglected lil rat. boohoo.#idk what type of medication she thinks i should b on. like what symptom r we trying to exhaust? the 0cd or the mood issues?#i dont even kno what the issue is. not that i guess it matters. idk. i need to read and write. fucking hell#unrelated
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sludgeguzzler · 1 year
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ever since the pandemic ended and i started going out and talking to people with the goal of "making friends being happy loving life" ive started o realize that i in fact do not enjoy the stay at home doing nothing not talking to anyone lifestyle and that i love calling ppl and that nature is actually the bomb, all the times id rather stay in bc "im just not an outings guy" is actually bc im like. traumatized or something
#do i know what caused this no do i want to stop it god. yeah. i wanna go out and vlimb trees :( i wanna hug my friends#and give them little gifts and non stop tell them about everything that im interested in :(#finding out im aromantic also just completely changed how i see my friendships and myself too#like yeah!!!!! friends!!!!!!!!#romantic tension is a lie i am just quirky & chill like that#anyways i AM looking forward to the thing were havong on monday HOWEVER the fact that its happening on my exs house is#unfortunate. like maybe im not gonna be so chill while there. but thats ok im still gonna try and im gonna be mature about it#is it weird hes already after someone else wohin less of a month yeah but its none of my business anymore#i dont want to confront him thats his own mess im being normal about it. i am handling this correctly#if anyone asks me i will be honest if he asks me i will be honest#i have no problem with the girl i only have a problem with him. i actually really really enjoy the girls company#shes so chill. like she says she loves me sometimes and im like woah! i dont rlly know you!#but its a warm feeling i enjoy it#i wanna start saying i love my friends too#i wanna make her a bracelet actually#thatd be so slay#o should invite her and some friends over just to make bracelets#we could make each other little things !!!!#i wanna draw stuff to my friends#yayayayayayayay i love my friends i wanna talk to them so bad omg omg omg what do i talk about#im gonna ask them about their day !!!!!#sg.txt
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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maybe if i play y7 ill be normal <- played y7 four times this weekend, a decidedly not normal thing
#snap chats#'snap how many times can you play y7 in a week before youre tired of it' do you wanna find out together#i had a horrible night last night. ok not a WHOLLY horrible night but something trash did happen and i woke up still groggy bout it#i dont like sulking about the past but sometimes i cant help it and it aint fair to myself to act like i can help it. sometimes.#i gotta be candid just for my sake last night i got real upset with my friend because when i say she tests me She Really Does#and i hate getting angry cause then i just feel like my mom and at that point i figure itd be better if i slipped on ice and broke my spine#generally im good at controlling my temper but everything just testing me and i broke down and it was embarrassing as hell ☠️☠️#so yeah thats gonna bother me for a few days LMAO#'snap it aint that deep' it AINT and thats why its so annoyin cause i KNOW it aint that deep yet i still cant argue away how i feel#all i can do is try to ignore it... like plying y7 for the 11th time.....#i cant ply it now tho i told myself id work on a commission a bit so. maybe later...#i already started another file yesterday- or was it two days ago ???? idk i just know im up to chap 5 in it#chap 5 always give me a damn headache its so LONG at the very least the benefit to having my friend over and raising my blood pressure#is that i start to remember things to do from a y7 speedrun. like i dont hound her on what to do obvi i just let her play#its just lil notes to myself. tho she does tell me to give her tips and exploits when i can LMAO#anyways.. im gonna go work ig and try to feel like crummy bye bye#i wanna stream.. maybe i will this evening before my evening class.. lol.. we'll see but probably not
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orcelito · 8 months
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There are more trigun fanfics than there were back in April
This is creating a problem for me
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coffee-bat · 2 years
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i cant do this i cant do this i cant do this
#(vent feel free to ignore this i'll be fine)#//cw: suicidal thoughts and self harm#im having a breakdown again yay#itll probably pass but rn im sorry i have to tell someone anyone i cant keep it in i need to feel like i exist to anyone#im crying for no fucking reason and strongly suicidal for the second time this week#im at my fucking limit i feel like i have to cut again just so i dont kjll myself then andvthere#but my mom will yell at and mock me if she finds out i feel cornered i dont know what to do#my fight or flight is kicking in and nothing is even fucking happening its in my stupid brain#i feel like i need to tell someone anyone i feel like im just gonna cease to exist and noone will know or care#i have one friend who i tell this stuff to but they have a lot on their plate rn and i dont wanna put an additional burden on them so im#sorry but you gotta deal with me screaming into the void for a sec (you can ignore me itll pass ill be back to normal in a sec i just need#to let it out i need SOMEONE to know im on the fucking brink#im sorry i just cant deal with this anymore its too much it hurts and im helpless and im scared#there's one commission left i have to do bc its been pre-paid and then i can do it i think. i probably wont but rn i feel like it#vent#personal#delete later#suicidal thoughts tw#self harm mention#bpd#then again maybe im just hungry ive only eaten once today. idk maybe if the episode passes enough to stop crying in a ball on the floor#i'll be able to find out (eat sth and see if i feel better)#for now im freaking out and losing my fucking mind
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im-traumatised · 2 years
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Fuck the depressions getting really bad. Can't even find the effort to go to the grocery store. It's literally the only thing that gets me out the house and now I just can't be fucked with even that. But also I mean who cares? I've kinda stopped giving a shit about my health.
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cotton-corduroy · 2 years
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yknow. getting reccomended my old vent posts from 2017 ab relapsing wasn't something i expected when looking for kate bush photos but. yknow. shit happens ig.
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tinylittlebab · 1 year
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hmm.
#ack. i wanna but a scale so bad but idk how much money i have rn#well at least since im restricting again ill have more money since i dont spend it all on food#wish i could get a job but id have to walk to it and i cant in the weather so im gonna wait till spring or summer#might wait till i turn 18 bc ill have way more options so i might aswell. its only like 2 months off from when i could even get one at all#hmmm. ill have to ask my mom to tell me how much is on my card bc i cant check it myself. im kinda regretting letting my sister not pay me#back immediately for $30 bc then i could buy a scale rn but she doesnt have much rn so whatever#going another month without a scale wont kill me. for the majority of the time before i recoved it didnt have a scale so whatever#but i remember feeling so awful not even knowing if the pain i put myself through did anything so idk if its worth that#i fall ever enough as is with my pots so idk if i wanna add starvation to tye mix when i cant even see the numbers drop#well. ill find out how much i have today and if i have a fair bit then ill buy one soon but if not then ill just cry ig#idk. i feel stupid for relapsing. i KNOW.it feels terrible and i dont even care much about getting skinny. i just miss starving myself#its not about getting skinny its just about seeing the number go down and hurting myself and i know it doesnt actually feel good but like#idk. my life has felt chaotic and out of control recently and i need something to hold on to even if it kills me#i dont even wanna die anymore either. i used to but now i dont. i have life plans that i wanna pursue. im not stuck in a moldy house with#people who abuse me. i live with my only friend in a place where i can actually go places. not many places but theres at least something#idk. i think itd be easier to be ok if i had other friends but i just have my sister. i dont even know how or where you meet people#everything i read either says scool for minors or bars for adults which is useless to me. the only others things are things not around me#idk. i guess ill have to get a car eventually and when i do that then i can go places. i feel so bleh lately#i just. i wanna be sickly and skinny. not bc i think im ugly but bc i wanna be sick. i dont dislike my appearance. im relatively thin#not that it matters bc theres nothing wrong with being fat but like. idk. i used to hate my appearance so much but i dont now#so it feels so weird that im relapsing anyway#idk
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#i truely have so much anger built up inside me about my job. ive done a very good job of making it unbearable#and after taking a 10 day vacation. plus 2 days of not working bc im sick. i really dont wanna go back#i was planning to take 3 days to not do fucking anything but my boss just emailed me with some time sensitive#logistical things. so like i guess i gotta fucking do that tomorrow. i started reading the email and it made my head hurt#and she started it off like. hopw ur feeling better and i dont wanna cause stress but...#like bro. listen. if u tell me these things u put them in my head and i csnt stop thinking abt them until theyre done. and its not her#fault bc im the one that put myself in a place where im barely keeping it together. its just frustrating#bc it feels like hope u feel better but also kill urseld 💖 but again thats just how it feels bc im so. idk how to describe it im like in a#state of post burnout. im sitting in the ash. alone in a desolate landscape and its like jesus how tf do i fix this?#and i cant even run out my anger rn bc im sick. and i mean i have the energy to run i dont feel lethargic but like i doubt that would aid#recovery lol. ugh. 2 months. thats all. then i move away. assuming i find a place to live lol. bc i currently haven't yet#but whatever. assuming i get better quickly and dont get worse and dont get covid on top of this cold bc my dad got covid#it will have been a bit of a blessing i came back sick bc i have a clear justification for not working and for telling people to fuck off#when they ask for things from me. like today a lab mate asked if i could sample Monday. which it technically#a holiday but i probably would have said yes if i wasnt sick. and i would have had to teach undergrads some bullshit friday if i wasnt sick#instead i just did nothing all day bc i almost moved bsck my flight and didnt leave home until the weekend anyway#i guess its good i didnt bc then i would have been stuck in ohio bc my dad found out he had covid yesterday#idk its all just frustrating bc im halfway in a transition and im not doing very well but i cant do anything to fix things until i leave#the southwest. like i dont even kno if i have health insurance rn. my benifits change request was processed but like does thst mean it was#approproved? fucking idk. so everytime i do anything i imagine a worstcase scenario where i end up hospitalized and damned to an empty#bank account or eternal medical debt. tho my mum said they passed a law where they arnt allowed to do thst to u anymore 🤷‍♂️#whatever. im annoyed. i dont wanna work 😫#unrelated
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puphoods · 2 months
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ive only seen bits and pieces of what happened to predesterone, i know they got deleted (at least twice) and the ceo is making defamatory statements about them, but im genuinely confused as to where I could find this all going down. if u dont wanna gather links or whatever i get it its just that everything popped up on my dash suddenly and i want to know whats happening but i dont know how to find out
theres obviously a lot of people posting rn but ill try to get some links together to sum it up as best i can find- keep in mind i never followed her myself and only distantly knew of her so there are people closer to the situation that probably have more stuff they can tell you though, and searching her url(s) has a lot of info
avery has i think two blogs deleted yeah, unsure about any older ones but predstrogen and avewy/predesterone were both deleted very recently
predstrogen (the first blog) was allegedly deleted for "sexually explicit material" despite any posts that may have been labelled as such being marked with a community label and her blog recently being manually approved as NOT containing adult content. she also talks in this post, as well as here, about how she has had a support ticket open for several months for harassment she was receiving that has not been dealt with
this is an example of the threats and harassment she has been receiving. ive seen a few different people get this ask copy pasted
the CEO of tumblr made a post wherin he publicly aired information regarding her deletion and threatened legal action against her , showing examples of the alleged death threats where no actual threats were made and telling people in the replies to just leave if they were unhappy with the moderation of the site
avery made a post about this and her new blog was again deleted within five minutes of her making it
multiple people who have made posts about the situation have said matt has DMed them and confronted them
this is word im hearing secondhand, so if i get any details wrong please correct me, but posts of hers such as her transition timeline are apparently ones that were flagged. i cant find any screenshots but many of her posts, including one that was a silly edit of a snow leapord wearing shoes, have been completely wiped from the site. if anyone has a screenshot or link to both the original post and it being deleted i can add it to this
again there are a lot of posts going around but these are i think what you really need to know whats going on...
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irishmammonagenda · 2 months
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How I Think The Obey Me Dateables + Co Would React to The Rumours™️
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Summary: Rumours have been floating around the Devildom. Rumours about a certain Angel and Sorcerer...how will the demon brothers react? Word Count: funny joke! Content Warnings: nothing i dont think Disclaimer: This will probably not make a lot of sense unless you've read this fic here for context, but ykw life doesnt make sense you do you <3
[Brothers Version]
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dividers by @cafekitsune
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You had left the Sorcerers' Society feeling quite flustered, but also extremely pleased with yourself. Take that Solomon. You grin. In all the excitement of the following days, you'd forgotten about the rumour you had accidentally spread around the Devildom. Perhaps you shouldn't've pretended to be Archangel Michael to gain entry....
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💙💚BARBATOS💚💙
Finds out about the rumours relatively quickly, Little D No.2 sees him nearly dropping a plate before catching it with his tail. He was sworn to secrecy.
Poor Little D No.2
His first thought is shock, his second thought is.
'What did you do MC?'
smiling he dials your number on his DDD.
You were in the middle of doing homework, or rather, sitting at your desk staring at your homework when Barbatos called. "Hiya Barbs!" You grin into your DDD. "Hello MC." You can hear the Butler's smile through the phone. "What's got you calling Barbie?" "There have been some rumours of a certian bastard sorcerer and Archangel in a romantic relationship...you wouldn't happen to know anything of it?" You laugh. "My assassination attempt went wrong." Barbatos lets out a small chuckle along with you. "I can't say Solomon doesn't deserve it." You pause. "Barbs?" "Yes, MC?" "Would you maybe wanna...go to the next Devildom Carnival with me?" You mumble into the phone, but he catches it. Thankfully, he was feeling nice, and did not teasingly ask you to repeat it. "Of course I would MC," Barbatos tone softens, smile visible in his voice. "Perhaps you can tell me more of this assassination attempt going aray?" "It'd be my pleasure Barbie."
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❤️❤️DIAVOLO❤️❤️
Barbatos tells him.
Remember the sticker incident? Yeah. Diavolo laughs when he hears about it
This could be a great help in uniting the 3 realms!!!
And hey, if someone commissions Asmo to make stickers of Michael x Solomon, dont look at Diavolo who is very suspiciously whistling innocently.
"Hi Asmo!" Lord Diavolo steps out from the shadows. Asmodeus shrieks, loosing all colour in his face before gaining it back again and grinning excitedly." Diavolo! What are you doing in my room?~" Diavolo shooshes him, pale golden eyes widening as he looks around the Avatar of Lust's room. "Not so loud." After deeming it safe enough, the Demon Prince continues, "I snuck away from Barbatos" Asmo makes a noise of understanding, he looks up at the other through foxlike eyes. "So what can I do for you Dia? ~" The Prince smiles ear to ear. "Remember the stickers you made of me and Lucifer. Well, I'd like to commission something." Asmodeus gasps excitedly, moving a stray champagne coloured lock from his forehead, he grabs his bejeweled pen and journal. "Of course! We can discuss pricing later on! First things first! What would you like?~" "Well..." Diavolo lets out a booming laugh, "Maybe something quite similar to the stickers of me and Lucifer, except with Michael and Solomon?" Asmodeus sets his pen and sketchbook down, looking up at the Devildom's present goofball and future ruler. "Y'know what, Diavolo?" He smirks mischievously. "It's on the house." Diavolo pouts, "At least let me buy you Majolish's new line of clothes." "Awww!~ If I had a ring that I didn't want to keep for myself I'd propose to you!~" Diavolo laughs. These stickers were going to be amazing.
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🩷🩷THIRTEEN 🩷🩷
Haha L Solomon
Knows it's fake from the moment she hears it.
Upset she didn't think to start it....but when she finds out from Satan you had a hand in it?
Damn bbg she's about to have your hand in marriage😏
You were just trying to walk home from RAD, having finally gotten a moment of peace from your idiots when an extremely loud 'VROOOM' startles you. A black motorcycle with pink accents traverses the streets of the Devildom like it's attempting to audition for Fast and Furious, before going rogue and coming straight towards you. Scared, you start to sprint, alas, even as an angel,you can't outrun motorcycles. You don't wanna die! The mystery rider drives beside your sprinting, catching up to you before reaching their leather gloved hands out and; YOINK! The motorcyclist pulls you flush against their chest, holding you there with one arm as they use the other to steer. You've been kidnapped by a motorcyclist who thinks they're in GTA. Great. Being kidnapped by a crazed motorcyclist before GTA 6....actually, maybe this was GTA 6. "As much as I'd love to hear your screams in a different context MC, can you stop screaming?" A voice asks through the Motorcycle helmet, you immediately stop squirming to get out of the Motorcyclist's arms. "Thirteen?!" She laughs, "Awww, I love it when you say my name!" You drive in relative silence for a while until she reaches a small cafe. She stops the bike and takes her helmet off, her long ombre hair is tied in a ponytail, she takes out the bauble and lets it fall down. Bloodied emerald eyes lock onto yours as she pulls you in for a kiss. "What's this about you dying and not giving me your soul...." She says in mock sadness before jumping off of the motorcycle, helping a dazed you to your feet. "No bother!" She flirts, tucking a stray hair away from your face, "You can just give me your soul, and your heart, and your body, and your mind!" You blush. "W-why are you in the Devildom Tee?" "Well a certain someone-" She pinches your cheek, "made up a fabulous rumour about that Rat-Bastard! So I'm here to give them a lovely little dinner date and my hand in marriage as a reward!" "Excuse me? Could you repeat that?!" You ask, heart racing. Thirteen just laughs and gives you a kiss that leaves you breathless, a soft blush of her own showing up on her porcelain skin. You walked out of your impromptu unofficial kidnapping dinner date a married MC. Time to go to Vegas to make it official!
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💜💜MEPHISTOPHELES💜💜
The man found out because you told him.
He is not impressed. Couldn't you have made up a rumour about Lucifer dating someone?!
No MC, this is a serious newspaper! He is not posting gossip. Or advertising fanfictions. Especially ones with a name like that!
What do you mean Lord Diavolo would 'want you to do it, Mephisto!!' are you trying to emotionally blackmail him?!
"Pleaseeeee!" "No." You try again. "Mephisto pleaseeeeeee?" He gives you a rather rude look. Damn, rich people really were good at looking at people like they were dirt on their shoes. "I won't ask for anything ever again!" "You will, and the answer is still no MC." He glares at you. Pear green eyes filled with annoyance. "The RAD newspaper is sacred! I'm not posting fanfiction on there! We are a serious organisation!" "You post popularity polls." You deadpan. "This is why I hate rich people." "Let me go wipe my tears with my various stacks of grimm lying around. Speaking of which, how did you get into my house, MC?" You grin sheepishly. "No comment!" "MC." "Your little brother let me in! He's very nice, unlike you! Now please I'm begging you!" Mephisto raises an eyebrow. "You don't look like you're begging." "I'm not getting down on my knees. I'm going to piss in your cereal." Mephistopheles scoffs. "I don't eat cereal. That's poor people behaviour." You sniffle, deciding that the best course of action would be to annoy him. "You know, you're acting like Lucifer right now! Not letting me post this in the Newspaper." Mephisto waggles his finger at you, "Send me a Devilmail of what you want included later." "Yay!" You cheer. Satan was going to be so happy when he found out you managed to get your fanfic mentioned in the RAD Newspaper!
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🩵🩵SIMEON 🩵🩵
He finds out after you print out the published parts of the fanfiction you and Satan wrote.
He's an author after all! What better person to get constructive criticism from?!
Someone please save this poor man.
Solomon looked up at Michael with dull eyes devoid of emotion, just previously they had shone with tears, now they were just dead. A graveyard of feeling. "Take it back Michael." The sorcerer mutters, but Michael heard him clearly. "What you said about Humankind...take it back!" "It's the truth Solomon!" Michael raises his voice, the rain dropping like bullets against the windows of Cocytus Hall. "I can't do this anymore!" Solomon blurts out, before turning on his heel, cape flapping, as he runs out of the door, into the storm outside, his arms cover tear-stricken his face. "Solomon wait!" Michael races out after him braving the- "MC..." Simeon looks up at you, he takes his reading glasses off and gently sets the paper down, attempting to avoid looking at anything else written on it. "MC, what is this?" "Art." You nod seriously. "It is good writing MC, but, why?" "Why not?" You tilt your head. "With all the love in my heart, darling, I'm forcing myself to forget this story's existence." You pat Simeon's back. "That's probably for the best Simmy."
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🤎🤎RAPHAEL 🤎🤎
Solomon? Michael was going out with Solomon?
This worked out great for him actually, this meant he could eat Solomon's food more often. How delicious!
Disappointed when he finds out the rumours aren't true.
"Raphael for the last time, do I look like the type of person that would date Solomon?!" Michael says exasperatedly, covering his face with his hands and fake sobbing. Drama king. "You are a bit odd. Are you sure you're not dating him? I won't judge you, Michael, I respect you a lot." Raphael nods seriously. "I am not dating Solomon." Raphael pouts, "I see. Have you considered dating Solomon?" Michael grabs a pillow and screams into it.
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🖤🖤SOLOMON🖤🖤
Finds out through Asmo
Is that a fanficiton, MC?
Two can play at this game.
You enter your room when you feel a hand go over your mouth. You attempt to scream, but seeing as there's a hand over your mouth, it doesn't exactly go very well for you. "Relax Mc, It's just me." You turn your head around to see Solomon and that signature sneaky smile on his face. You scream louder. He chuckles and mutters a few words, all of a sudden you feel very sleepy.... Hours later, you wake up on your bed, now around 3 feet tall and with familiar pink wool, your hands and feet are now hooves, beside you Solomon had been oh so kind as to leave you a note. Cant write Fanfiction if you don't have hands. Jokes on him. You're a co-author.
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🩵🤍LUKE🤍🩵
hears some demons talking about it at RAD while he´s in Devildom history
Michael are Solomon are DATING??!!!
LIKE THE THING PEOPLE DO BEFORE THEY GET MARRIED??!!
Michael and Solomon are getting MARRIED??!!
Is Solomon his dad now?
Luckily for Luke and Unluckily for Michael, Michael is still in the Devildom, so when Luke gets home, he goes to ask Michael about it.
Sounds of sizzling and chopping can be heard from the kitchen in Purgatory Hall, and thankfully, it's not Solomon. Michael hums as he expertly dices the onions up and puts them into the blender with the tomatoes, broccoli and cauliflower. His long golden hair had been haphazardly thrown into a plait, small curls that didn't feel like conforming popping out here and there, sauce stains found themselves a home on his dark skin, he stuck his tongue out in concentration. Frozen meatballs had been left out to thaw, and now the Archangel was making the vegetables in the sauce so they'd undetectable to a certain fussy young angel. "Michael?" The young angel in question calls out in the doorway resulting in Michael exclaiming something that sounded like 'GAH!' and attempting to hide Luke's view of the blender. "Hiya Lukey!" Michael grins awkwardly. "What's up with you today? Haha." Now long used to Michael's strangeness, Luke pays it no mind. "Michael, I have a question." The archangel turns the various pans on the stove to the lowest heat before sitting on a stool on the kitchen island and pulling Luke up to sit on his knee. "What's up Kiddo?" He grins, tilting his head at the boy. Luke fiddles with his thumbs, his blue eyes meeting Michael's red ones. "Is it true you and Solomon are getting married?" Michael's smile drops. He pats Luke's blond hair, "No Lukey, me and Solomon are not getting married, nor are we in a relationship." Luke's face flushes, he clenches his tiny fists. "Those demons! Making up lies!" Michael shakes the image of you from his mind. "Yeah. Demons. Yup!"
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lads im gonna be honest here i havent met mephsitles or hwoever u spell it a lot in game (as well as thirteen and raphael) so apologies if theyre really ooc😰
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bu3ckers · 2 months
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never be like you
•paige bueckers x fem!reader
•angst, explicit language, fluff
•nsfw
summary | oc is paige’s highschool best friend, except they’ve always had feelings for each other. when they got to uconn, things got complicated..
author’s note: this is loosely based off of never be like you by flume!! best friends to lovers is my favorite trope ever so enjoyy. also im too lazy to put my auto caps on, so im sorry if there’s any spelling mistakes
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halloween 2019
hopkins, minnesota
11:30 pm
*oc and paige are both 18*
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this was my last halloween party of my highschool years. as paige and i were dancing together in a random senior’s backyard, my mind began to wander. maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the weed, or maybe it was because she was staring into my soul with the most lust filled gaze ever. i broke out of my trance to find her smirking, tilting her head towards her car. “wanna get out?” she mouthed, knowing i wouldn’t be able to hear her over the music. i nodded in response and she gingerly took my hand and jogged out of the backyard. i struggled to keep up, still feeling the slight effects of the pen i took a few hits of almost an hour ago. she wasted no time driving back to her house, knowing her parents and brother were gone for the weekend. her free hand was gripping my thigh, dangerously high as i bit my lip in an attempt to simmer my excitement down. i dont know why i never told her how i really felt - i know she felt the same. but there was something telling me that she was just toying with me.
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she finally pulled into her driveway and ran around the car to open the door for me. i stumbled out, gripping the blonde for balance. “get on” she said, holding out her arms, gesturing for me to jump into them. i obliged and she lifted me up, her hands going to my ass as i wrapped my arms around her neck. she walked to her door and opened it, slamming it closed with her foot once we were inside. she set me down to put her keys on the table before surging towards me, bringing me in for a passionate kiss. she lead me to her room, lips never leaving mine. after her door shut, the whole night became a blur. the only thing i remember was waking up with a pleasant pain between my legs, wrapped in paige’s arms.
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august 2020
storrs, connecticut
7:30 pm
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it was move in day for me and paige. we’d graduated from hopkins together and somehow ended up committing to uconn together. we both decided it would only make sense for us to dorm together. boy was i wrong.
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jerking back tears while watching my parents leave along with paige’s wasn’t easy. paige noticed me standing there alone, staring at the road long after they’d left. she came up behind me, her hand going to the small of my back as hot tears were now flowing freely down my face. “no, no, no, it’s okay don’t cry, you’ll see them soon”, she said, allowing me to fold into her open arms. she held me as i soaked her shirt with tears, completely disregarding the box filled dorm that was waiting for us. i stayed wrapped in her embrace as the parking lot emptied and my tears subsided. the sun began to set as i lifted my head from her chest, looking up at her with glossy eyes. she looked down at me with a pout, trying to cheer me up. i giggled at the sight, watching her mouth turn up into a smile as she did a little fist pump. "see, all better” she joked, cupping my face and wiping my tears with her thumbs. “i bet you feel real accomplished” i said through a snotty laugh. “you know i do” she replied, her breath catching when she looked at the beautiful sunset. the sky was painted deep orange and yellow, pale pink reflecting onto the clouds making them look like cotton candy. i watched her take in the sunset, admiring the way it shone on her perfect face. i peeled my eyes away to look at the sunset myself. it was ethereal. i got lost in the sky, unaware that paige was gazing at me with a soft smile. i turned my head to find her staring, and before i could tease her about it, she connected our lips in a slow, sweet kiss. her hands gently held my waist as my arms traveled to wrap around her neck, pulling her closer. my lips moved expertly against hers as her hands moved up my back. i pulled away, smiling up at her. “you’re so beautiful”, she began, watching my face redden, “i love you”. my eyes widened a bit at the last statement. “i love you too p”, i replied, reaching up to kiss her again.
i had to keep reminding myself that we were just best friends, even though i was beginning to hate the label. best friends don’t kiss like that. best friends don’t have sex every so often. and best friends sure don’t talk to each other like that.
-
present day
9:45 pm
storrs, connecticut
-
paige was hanging out with her teammates while i was in class. i loved her team - they treated me like a sister, especially the freshmen, who always looked up to me. i had just gotten home from my last class, exhausted and burnt out from the amount of work i had to do. when i got back inside, i overheard paige, aubrey, kk and ice talking about something, someone. “so, paige, how’s your lil girlfriend?” kk joked. it clicked in my head that i was the topic of conversation. i stopped in my tracks as paige began to respond. “what girlfriend?”, she replied. “come on p, stop playing dumb, we all know you guys aint best friends” ice retorted. i peeked through the door that was cracked open and watched aubrey playfully punch her in the shoulder, laughing. see, throughout our freshman year, i had to deal with the amount of girls paige brought home. i hated that era of her. i knew she was just being a dumb college girl, i knew she didn’t care about those girls, but it hurt me to think about the fact that i was one of the many girls on her roster. when she finally changed her ways to focus on basketball after her acl injury, i felt a wave of relief wash over me. sure, it meant that i was also cleared off her roster, but we still resumed our normal not-best-friend-like activities. i held my breath as she began to answer. “i’m being serious, she’s my best friend and nothing more. i don’t even like her like that for real. i mean, she’s not even my type”, she replied. i practically winced at every word that left her mouth. she couldn’t be serious, right? i didn’t know what else to do in that moment. i turned around, grabbed my keys and stormed out. im guessing she heard me, because as i was running down the hallway she flew outside and sprinted to catch up to me. “shit, yn, you heard that?” she said when she got to me, exasperated. i turned around to face her guilty eyes. “yeah paige, i did. do me a favor and fuck off for me will you?” i replied, my words shaky as tears pricked my eyes. i ran downstairs and made my way outside before she could even reply. i started my car and began to drive mindlessly, just wanting to get away. i pulled into an empty dunkin’ lot, let my tears flow freely, and cried for what felt like hours.
-
paige’s pov
10:00 pm
storrs, connecticut
-
none of my words were true. i liked her so much, i just didn’t want to tell them right there. azzi was the only one who knew.
watching tears build at her waterline crushed me. i’ve never made her cry before. her words hit me hard. i wanted to follow her, i wanted to be the one to comfort her just like i did on move in day. i knew she wouldn’t let me in - she never did. she always had her walls up and rarely cried in front of me.
i checked her location, wanting to know if she was safe at least.
dunkin: hartford, ct
i had no idea why she was all the way in hartford. i knew she had a habit of absentmindedly driving when she was upset, but she’s never gone this far. fuck. i seriously hurt her. as much as i wanted to drive to her, i knew it was a bad idea. it took everything in me to trudge back to my dorm, our dorm. i opened the door slowly, my head hung low. aubrey, kk and ice were waiting behind the door, confusion painted on all of their faces. “p, what the fuck was that?” aubrey said. “man, i fucked up big time. i lied to y’all, i really do like her. i just didn’t wanna tell you guys”. “do you think we’re stupid? we knew girl. you suck at lying” kk retorted, snorting. “oh”, i replied, biting my lip. “go get your girl bueckers” ice said, ushering me out of my own dorm. i grabbed my keys and hopped into my car, wasting no time driving to her. luckily she was still at that random dunkin’, although i knew she didn’t exactly want to see me. i pulled up next to her car and peered through her window. the only thing i could make out through the heavy rain coating her window was the sight of her holding her head in her hands, her chest heaving up and down. it broke me to see her like that. i just sat there and watched her for a while, my face turning white when she eventually noticed me. her expression immediately shifted from miserable to livid as she switched from park to reverse, quickly pulling out of the lot. i didn’t even try to follow her. i sunk into my seat and ran my hands down my face, pinching my eyelids and hitting the steering wheel. i fucked up, bad.
-
oc’s pov
11:00 pm
storrs, connecticut
-
i booked a room at the graduate hotel, solely to get away from the blonde. i only planned on staying there for the weekend because of the ridiculously high prices. i checked in and didn’t even bother putting my stuff away. i just flopped on the bed, burying my face in a pillow. stop thinking about her. you’re not her type. my mind was in a million different places at once, but it seemed to go silent when i checked my phone. they were all notifications from paige, about 16 missed calls and 20 unread messages. they ranged from “im so sorry” to “i miss you” to “are you okay?” to “where are you??”. tired and angry, i took her off my allowed people on do not disturb. i couldn’t bear to think about her at all. i quickly got changed into my pajamas and settled into bed, feeling cold and empty without paige’s presence beside me. it was weird falling asleep without her around me. i don’t think i’ve slept without her since freshman year started. i guess it’s never too late to try new things.
-
4:30 pm
storrs, connecticut
i spent practically the whole weekend rotting in the graduate hotel. i was honestly getting tired of ignoring paige. i missed her so much, but she didn’t have to know that. checking out of the hotel felt so good, and i was finally ready to speak to her after regaining my composure. i made my way back to our dorm, preparing to let her in and explain herself. i walked in only to be met with paige and another girl. she looked exactly like me, a doppelgänger if you will. her hair, her height, her eyes, everything. it looked like a friendly interaction, as though paige was planning to get up and leave, but i didn’t even let her reach the door. spinning on my heels, i stormed out for the second time this week, slamming the door in her face. i had enough. i’d seen enough. the sound of the door opening behind me angered my soul. “don’t fucking follow me paige”, i yelled, not even looking back. i didn’t want to see her face at all. i heard the door close quietly, footsteps trailing behind me. i was ready to scream at her. instead of being met with the tall blonde, i turned to see my doppelgänger. “hey, i don’t have any idea who you are, i was just leaving anyways but i’m not really interested in paige for real. she looked like she needed a shoulder to cry on..but that’s none of my business. i’m on your side babe, if anything” the girl, who’s name i learned was jade, spoke. her tone was gentle. she sounded genuinely concerned. “thank you, at least someone here understands me” i replied, laughing slightly. we exchanged numbers and i thanked her again for being so kind. she smiled and i left, needing somewhere to stay. although i was close to the entire team, azzi was the one i was closest to. well, aside from paige. azzi, paige and i have been sort of like a trio since highschool. whenever azzi came to visit, we had the time of our lives. we were so excited when she announced her signing with uconn. i texted her the whole situation and she immediately replied, welcoming me over. i sped over to her place, which wasn’t far from paige and i’s. she was waiting for me at the door, worry painted on her face. i began sobbing as soon as i saw her, just needing to be comforted. when we got inside she brought me over to the couch and pulled me into her lap, holding me as i hiccuped and shook uncontrollably. i cried until i couldn’t anymore again this week. this wasn’t like me. i never really cried like this. how could paige be causing all of this?
my tears turned into sniffles and azzi’s shirt was soaked. after i finished crying, i sat in her arms, my head buried in the crook of her neck, a comfortable silence filling the room as i regained composure. “honey, what happened?” she finally spoke, her voice soft. i lifted my head and began, “i overheard paige talking to aubrey, ice, and kk on friday.. they were teasing her about me and she said that she never liked me at all and that i wasn’t her type and…oh God”. my head fell into my hands as more tears began flowing down my face. azzi instantly pulled me back against her, rubbing my back to soothe me. “shh, it’s okay, i’m right here. you’re okay”. “i caught her with another girl azzi”, i confessed, sobbing harder. “oh hon..” she replied, visibly upset with paige. “i swear, im gonna kill her” she muttered to herself. i mustered out a slight, snotty laugh at her anger. “i wanted to give her the light of day after she tried to explain what she said about me, but that was the last straw. i don’t know what to do now”, i spoke, my voice cracking, tears still spilling down my face. “you don’t have to do anything right now, just stay here and take a break. you need it. i’ll be right here” she answered. “thanks az, i love you” i told her, meaning every word. i don’t know what i’d do without her. “i love you too”. i continued crying in her arms as the sun set.
-
paige’s pov
azzi’s apartment ..
-
i couldn’t help but follow her to azzi’s apartment. hearing everything she said and how she said it broke me. her voice, her tears, everything about it made me sick to my stomach. it made it worse that i was the one who did this, again. how could i be so stupid? how could i try to fill the void she left? nobody could ever be like her. i wasn’t going to let anything happen between jade and i. i couldn’t bring myself to. i had to tell her that. but seeing the look on her face when she saw me that night, the way azzi was cradling her as tears streamed down her face was too much for me. i couldn’t stand to see her like that. i quietly slipped away from azzi’s apartment, not being able to see her crying anymore. when i got back to our place, i tried texting her again. it was pointless - she hadn’t even replied to the texts i sent her on friday night. i sat on the couch and pondered for a while. deciding to test my luck, i headed back to azzi’s apartment.
-
oc’s pov
-
my tears finally faded as i began drifting off to sleep. azzi noticed my eyes drooping which inclined her to lift me off the couch and carry me to her room. she laid me down and tucked me into her bed. “get some rest, okay?” she whispered, lips pressed to the crown of my head. i nodded and smiled sleepily up at her. “thank you az” i murmered. “of course” she replied, turning on her fairy lights and flicking the light off. she closed the door, leaving it cracked open slightly. i heard some commotion coming from outside the door, but i eventually fell asleep, tear tracks drying on my face.
-
paige’s pov
-
speeding right back over to azzi’s apartment almost cost me my car privileges, but i didn’t care. i needed to see her. i flew down the hallway and practically banged on azzi’s door. after about a minute or so it opened, and i was met with azzi’s stern glare. she was visibly angry with me, for good reason. “paige. are you stupid or dumb?” she said. not really what i wanted to hear. “i know, i know, i messed up bad. but i need to explain to her. i need to talk to her”. “you do realize she’s completely broken and wants nothing to do with you? she’s also asleep right now”. great. i just want to see her face again. “can i just..” my voice trails off. “can you what paige?” i clear my throat. “can i just see her, please?”
azzi thought for a few moments.
“fine, go, she’s in my room”.
i thanked azzi profusely and quietly shuffled into her room. there she was, sleeping like an angel with the fairy lights perfectly illuminating her face. she looked beautiful during any time of day. i stood over her for a while and just watched her sleep like the weirdo i was. eventually, i got tired of standing and oh so gently sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake her. a heavy sigh escaped my mouth as i watched her sleep peacefully. my arms and hands apparently had a mind of their own, because before i knew it i was stroking her face gently. i couldn’t bring myself to stop. her face is so perfect, everything about her is so perfect. i slightly brushed my thumb over her lips, trying not to wake her. i failed as soon as my hand reached the top of her head, petting it and stroking the hair down her face. she began to stir under me, blinking her eyes open. i knew she was a heavy sleeper and it took a few minutes for her to wake up, so i continued to graze her face. when she began to gain consciousness, i panicked and planted my feet in the ground to stand up. a soft voice stopped my escape.
“paige?”
i froze in place and waited for her to speak again.
“what are you doing here?” she asked in that adorable, sleepy voice she has when she first wakes up.
turning around, i slowly walked back towards the bed where she laid, curled up in azzi’s fuzzy blankets, head craned slightly to see me.
“oh uh, i was just-“
i stopped.
“hm?”
“i was checking..on you.”
“why?”
she was waking up fully now.
“because i hurt you. and i’m sorry.”
her expression changed from sleepy to upset, and i noticed the tear tracks that stained her face.
“you’re sorry?” she answered, tears welling up in her eyes. “now you’re sorry? do you realize what you put me through?” she said, hot angry tears flowing freely down her soft cheeks.
“i-“ i tried to retaliate, but stopped immediately when she broke down sobbing.
“baby i-“
“don’t call me that”, she spat, glaring at me through wet eyelashes.
ouch.
“how can you casually come back here and sorry your way out of this? don’t you know how long i suffered watching you hook up with all of these girls in front of me? don’t you realize how hurtful it was to be one of those girls on your ever growing roster? do you even know how long i waited for you paige? all throughout our little friends with benefits phase in high school, all while i became a hook up and not a best friend, all while i was there for you when you tore your acl, all of it. and then you go ahead and tell aubs, ice and kk that i’m not your type? that you never liked me like that? and then proceeded to hook up with a girl that looks exactly like me? don’t you know what that does to someo-“
“i love you”.
-
oc’s pov
-
“i love you”.
i stopped my rant instantly and shot my eyes up to meet hers. she immediately looked down and took her bottom lip in between her teeth.
“you what?”
“i love you. more than anything”.
i scoff and laugh a little, shocked.
“but i thought-“
she cuts me off by leaping onto the bed and bringing me in for a long kiss, pouring out every pent up emotion she had built up in her. our lips moved against each other perfectly. i didnt want to admit how much i was craving this. she slid her tongue into my mouth and they danced together as we made out. it was sweet. it was everything i had been missing. we slowly dwindled down and pressed our foreheads together. she took my head in her hands.
“i. love. you.”
i sniffled and lightly smiled up at her.
“you do?”
“i’ll say it again and again and again. however many times it takes for you to believe me.”
“you would?”
she brought her lips to my forehead and spoke against it, still holding my face.
“of course i would”.
laughing breathily, i retaliated.
“i love you too. i love you more, actually”.
she peeled her lips away from my forehead and looked me dead in the eyes.
“not possible. all those girls? they’ll never be like you.” she said, grinning wildly, waiting for my response.
my finally dried face turned damp again and my mouth turned up in a smile as happy tears streamed down my face. i hugged her so tight and cried into her neck, kissing it simultaneously.
“i love you paige. so much”.
“i love you more baby”.
pulling away from her neck, i crashed my lips onto hers. we made out for what seemed like hours, basking in the warmth that we brought each other.
azzi smiled at the sight of us making up, proud of her idiot best friends who didn’t know how to deal with their feelings.
we finally headed back to our place together. we went straight to our room and laid down, limbs tangled together.
my head rested on her chest as she gently played with the ends of my hair, curling them with her fingers.
the world had stopped spinning. paige and i were girlfriends. not best friends. everything aligned.
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http-finnick · 1 year
Text
𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 - 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐫
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finnick odiar x fem!reader
summary: after the war, your whereabouts are a mystery left with missing next to it. finnicks days are gloomy without his love as jealous friends burden him.
request: hi I love your finnick stories so much!! i really like reading them ♥️ i saw requests are open an was wondering if you could do a finnick x reader where its after the war and he thinks shes dead but later finds out she’s alive and he’s just happy and excited to plan their life together? thank you ♥️
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I dont..miss her. it's strange. I- I want her here it's just..I feel like I've lost something..like I'll find it soon. It'll be in arms reach soon, just...wait. that's all. wait.
"you're grieving. It's denial" his head pops up to see a red-headed woman cross her legs, he almost forgot he was saying that all out loud
"she isn't missing, Finnick, she isn't at arms reach. She's dead." Annie moves her hair behind her ear before resting her head on her hand, staring at his expression, for a reaction to her statement
"some shrink you are." he scoffs, he hates how she's talking. she isn't dead. she cant be.
"...finnick" pity. her tone is pitiful and there's nothing he despises more. he struggles to find logic to support his calm as he fumbles from rage
"no body."
"what?" "no body. no proof. she could be alive" now he stares straight at her. her wide brown eyes flashing a sign of annoyance before being coated with a wave of seriousness.
"we went over this. you need to look at the facts-" "I am. no body." now he's getting defense, how could she say that? wheres her hope? she never gives up on anyone why would she give up on you so quickly?
"you called me a shrink. I'm not. I'm a friend and you need to listen to me as that. mourn her. do it now before you hold onto her forever"
.
she's gone. I know that now. I don't talk about her anymore, annie doesn't like the noise. mostly to myself when I want to reminisce on good memories that just end up with me crying in the bathroom like a pathetic wimp. sometimes I think to talk about her to annie but she just tells me to let go of her. but I can't.
the 5 stages of grief. Annie told me about that. is confusion one? I feel confused.
I sit on the island counter as I hear fabric on fabric, it's the dress of annie swiping against itself as she walks in to check on me.
"hey, you okay?" she leans against the wall, fiery red hair longer than ever as she awaits my answer
"uhh, yeah, yeah." brushing it off as I sit up, she isn't satisfied. he knows but it isn't the time.
"wanna talk about it?" seriously? he can? and to think she hated the noise
"it'd be nice" he answered sniffing slightly as he was already getting emotional
"what's the matter?" she sits down and motions for him to do as well, he hesitates, feeling more in control of the situation by standing and looking away, but, he sits.
"uh, I'm really am missing her a lot more" he watched her chew her cheek and he starts to feel claustrophobic. is he a burden? an annoyance to bring up the past? to dwell so heavily?
"what are you hanging onto so much?" her tone is soft but he knows spitfire when he hears it, he smiles and bites his bottom lip, he knew it was too good to be true.
"what?" shes clueless. utterly clueless and he's about to snap
"no it's just, wow."
"..wow?"
"you tell me to mourn but I'm never allowed to!" he smiles while sitting up, completely done. over her bullshit and looking for a fight
"well, mourning isn't clinging onto things fin." she hits right back, ready to get this over with and go to bed.
"what the hell is wrong with you? I- I have no one to fucking talk to!"
"you aren't here when you talk! you are somewhere else living in the past and you can't hear anyone when they tell you the truth!"
"oh- oh so what this truth?" he pushes her, ready for her to say, daring her to.
"that she's dead and you need to get over that." she strikes for the kill and it fucking hurts. he bites his tongue as she scoffs and tries to form a semi-redeemable apology that he knows he just bullshit
"no. I need you to get the fuck out." he waves his hand mindlessly towards the door as he stares at the floor, feeling blood pool into his mouth from biting his tongue a little too hard
.
two of the most important women are gone from his life and he only has a chance with one of them.
he wears dress pants and a button-up with flowers he picked this morning. he needs at least for this to work out.
he slides the bouquet onto the counter and lets his fingers run through his fluffy locks as he opens the fridge, trying to find some drinks they can have together as he scans the empty cold box.
he throws his head back at the sound of the rippling scream of his phone, he can't deal with post-capitol shit right now.
he swings his feet and grabs the telephone off the wall, stating his name and 'hi' as he waits
a woman chimes in on the other line stating herself and her authority as she starts to say things he doesn't really understand, numbers of times and dates, he doesn't do appointments or capitol press anymore
"wait- wait. I'm sorry, what?"
"for ms.l/n, when will you arrive for her?" he drops the phone as his throat closes up. they found her. they found her. they found her.
her body.
pickup. they want me to come to get her. his knees became weak and he slid to the floor, only now hearing her voice asking for him as it dangled next to his shaking body
he grabs it and puts it up to his ear, his voice cracking as he asks what date, time, and location to...pick her up.
he couldn't help but notice the way she talked about 'ms.l/n' in a slight past tense. he wanted confirmation for the longest time but it was bittersweet knowing she was actually gone. no fuck that. it's bitter it hurts like hell. it feels like the day he found out she was gone and panicked looking for her, though this time actually finding a body. he isn't gonna let Annie's "coping 101" infect his brain now. he is in pain. he feels like he is dying.
his love is gone. It's been months of her gone but now she's gone.
the train ride was silent as he just sat there in shock the whole time. he was lucky enough to get one today. he hopes they are wrong, hoping when he walks in it'll be someone else.
he stumbles into the hospital, telling the nurses about the call and about the woman on the other line. they tell him a room number and he floats there without question.
he notices how the room isn't leading to a morgue but rather a patient room. maybe it's full. maybe they found her with other missing troops.
and turns the door and cracks it open, he can't stop himself to shut his eyes tightly as he hopes shes is in a zipped body bag at least
he opens his eyes right when he walks in.
there. it's you. no doubt.
it's you sitting up. you're alive.
"y-y/n?"
"holy shit finnick..you're all dressed up for me?" how, how could you joke at this time? how can you joke at all? you were dead. he thought you died he-
he sprints towards you and hugs you tightly, tears flowing from his eyes as he smells you, feels you, loves you again
"I- I thought you died.."
"me too" you mumble feeling your own tears slip out as he weeps against you. you're safe.
"I love you, I love you so much" he cries out, not daring to pull away from you but you manage to lift him up just enough to be face-to-face with him. you kissed him softly, his lips familiar and warm
"I love you too"
you're thin and bruised. utterly beaten down by nature as your busted lip smiles at him, and he knows no matter how long you were lost you were the same old you deep down.
"let's get married. let's get married and move anywhere you want." he smiles, thinking of living with you in the meadow, alone, just the two of you.
"woah, next you're gonna say let's make a million babies" you giggle, pretending like you weren't about to say the same thing.
"not quite a million my love but close to it" he laughs and you fall into it as well. wiping your tears with your free hand had only now noticed how hard your other hand was gripping his
"I missed your laugh so much" he sniffs, tears still spilling out as he smiles at you
"I missed everything about you so much" you dip back in to kiss him and he goes right to it, hugging you deeply as he thinks about how soon you'll be his wife. soon he'll be your husband and soon you two will have a life. a real one.
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an: I hope this is okay! I added Annie drama on accidentally lmao. I hope I didn't pace it weirdly and I hope I was able to catch how Finnick was feeling at least a little well. like he knew deep down she was alive but he was just mourning her absent presence. I hope you guys enjoyed it! mwah, love you so much!
1K notes · View notes
ysrjune · 11 days
Text
Tell Me What You Want
pairing - scott monroe, sam monroe 🍒
summary - sam and scott are twins, both have a crush on you.
part 5! of tell me what you want
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Scott stayed over at his friends house for a whole week. He had texted his parents that he was staying over, but not with a reason. He was old enough to make his own decisions, so they had only told him they loved him and to be safe. Scott explained the whole story to his friend, Ray. The poor boy cried his heart out to Ray after explaining it all. Scott was never the kind of guy to think being emotional was stupid or something to be ashamed of. Neither was Ray. “You'll find another girl, Scott. She doesn't deserve you.”
“Ray, you don't get it. I don't want somebody else! I want her. I've always wanted her.” He sniffled, making Ray sigh. He knew how much you meant to Scott no matter what you did to him. “Why don't you just talk to her, man. You've been ignoring her texts and calls all week.”, “Because I don't know what to say. Am I supposed to apologize? Expect her to apologize?”
“Why are you gonna apologize to her? You didn't do anything but love her. You only dated her for a couple of weeks, but I'm pretty sure you're the best boyfriend she's ever had.” Ray was right. You've dated guys behind your parents' back, but never lasted long because they were all jerks and only dated you because you're pretty.
Scott didn't reply to Ray. He just stared at the ground, mind blank. It's not like you were his only problem, either. He had to apologize to Sam. Even if what Sam did was fucked up, he tried to explain, and Scott didn't let him. Then again, he always forgave Sam for everything, especially when they were kids. “Scott?” Ray repeated his name for the 3rd time. “Huh?” His puffy eyes shifted to the boy.
“She's calling again. Are you gonna pick up this time?” Scott looked down to the ringing phone. He sighed and answered. “Hello?” He sounded so congested. You nearly think you're gonna have a heart attack just from hearing his voice again. “Bab—” He was quick to cut you off. “Scott,” Yeah, you really messed up.
“Scott,” you sighed. “Listen, you don't have to forgive me. I know what I did was wrong, and I should have told you. But I wanted you to know that I want you. You were the first boy to make every second count in our relationship. If you were on the phone while we were hanging out, you held my hand. You never stopped texting me throughout the day. You took me out almost everyday—you spent all your time with me. Dating or not. I know you probably don't want me anymore, but.. I'm sorry. You deserve the biggest apology ever.”
“I'm sorry too.” Sam's voice chimed in, making Scott a little taken back. “I'm your brother, I should act like it. I never meant to hurt you, Scott. I didn't know what I was doing. I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I did, but I hope you can. I don't wanna lose my brother's love and trust.” His voice cracked a little. It sounded like he was trying not to cry. “Please, Scott. I can't eat or even sleep knowing that you're this upset with me. I want my brother back.” It wasn't any form of lying or manipulation. You could tell Sam was genuinely sorry.
Scott was silent throughout the whole phone call. Not because he didn't want to answer, but because he didn't know what to say. He never ever received any apologies like this. Was he supposed to say it's okay? thank you? Absolutely clueless until Ray mouthed ‘thank you’ to Scott, helping him out. The blonde bit his lip and hesitantly answered.
“Thank you.” Then he hung up.
You and Sam look at each other, confused. “Um. Do you think he actually forgives us?” You ask Sam. “More like did he forgive us at all.” He sighed and turned on his back, grabbing a pillow and hugging it over his chest. “I think he needs more time. He'll come around eventually.”
“You dont know that.” You say, picking at your nails. “Kay, I dont wanna sound stuck up, but, like. I know he's gonna come back and accept our apology if he already didn't. Scott's a very forgiving person.” It did sound stuck up, but you trusted Sam's word. I mean, they're brothers. He would definitely know of Scott would forgive him or not.
Scott didn't come home until a week after your phone call. Sam told you not to come over either, so you waited even longer. You didn't even get any updates. However, you did hear yelling coming from next door. You could make out a few words, like “idiot” and “whore”. What if that was Scott saying that you're a whore? No, he would never.. you think.
2 days passed since Scott came back. You scrolled on social media to find that Scott had posted something on his story, but you didn't wanna open it too fast in case he has just barely posted it, so you decided to wait 15 minutes. God, those were the longest 15 minutes of your life, but once they were over, you clicked his story. It was a dumb photo of Sam side eyeing the camera with his smudged eyeliner and messy hair.
Okay, so things seem to be fine with them if both of them are in Sam's room. As long as they weren't fighting, you were happy. At this point, you couldn't think of reasons why Scott would forgive you. At least you didn't have them stop talking to each other for the rest of their lives.
Later on, Chris knocked at your door. He knew the whole story since the day after everything went down. Your brother was the only one keeping you sane right now. He offered to take you out to eat and to shop, which was super sweet. Did he think you were a slut? No, but was he disappointed? Yes. But no matter what, you're his little sister and will always be there for you.
He tried so hard to keep your mind off those boys and was successful, but only until he left. Today, he had news.
“Scott asked me if he could come over later. I'm gonna talk to Sam about Alyssa, and.. well, yknow. You're gonna talk to Scott.” Chris mumbled, holding your hand. He knew you were scared. What was Scott going to tell you? Was he officially gonna end things? You had no idea.
“Thank you, Chris.” He was confused. Why the hell were you thanking him? “For?” He asked, cracking your fingers. “For being there for me even when I was the one in the wrong.” Tears filled your eyes. He looked up at you and smiled, rolling his eyes. “Aw, come on. Don't cry, you dork.” He pulled you into a hug, kissing the top of your head.
“You're my sister, I'm always gonna be there for you.”
Tears were shed.. mostly by you—and lots of affection was shared the whole time you thanked your brother. But then the time came around when Scott was coming over. You quickly fixed yourself up while Chris went to the door to get Scott and leave to talk to Sam.
The door opened, and your heart dropped. Scott looked.. good? For some reason, you expected him to look like he's had no sleep or whatever, but he looked normal. “Why?” He asked, standing at the door.
That simple question really said a lot. You bit your lip, not knowing exactly what to say. He sighed, looking out your door, then back to you and closing it. “You had so much to say over the phone, but now you dont wanna say a god damn thing?” His words were a little cold, but his voice was soft just like it always was.
“Angel, come on. You don't have to be scared to tell me what was goin’ on. Im asking you why.” The name he always called you gave a little bit of comfort. “I dont know, Scott, I'm sorry! I was stupid. I didn't think about what I was doing!” Your voice cracked, and tears started running down your rosy cheeks. Scott seemed a little frustrated that you were the one crying, but he didnt say anything.
“I just had a thing for Sam, I guess. After we..” You looked at him. You didn't even say you had sex with his brother, but obviously, he knew what you meant.. and he looked sad about it. “But when we were done, he said he was never gonna do it again. I'm pretty sure he was gonna ignore me afterward.”
“So do you like me, or do you like Sam.” He made eye contact. Seriously, was he not gonna cry? It embarrassed you that you were the one crying. “I like you, Scott. I love you. I realized I took you for granted before we were together. I realized how much you really liked me and how great of a boyfriend you are.”
“Do you mean that, or are you just saying it so I'll forgive you.” How could he even say that, of course you meant it! “Scott, I mean it. I regret doing that to you.” He came closer, standing in front of you while you were sitting on your bed. “Okay, I forgive you.” He crossed his arms, sighing. “Do you wanna give this another try? I mean. I still have feelings for you, baby. Nothing will change that.”
Wow, he really was a forgiving person. It surprising he was giving you a second chance, and who would you be to say no. “Yes. I wanna try again.” You nodded, looking up at him. Those eyes he loved so much. Even though your eyes were red and puffy, they were still mesmerizing to him. “Well, I shouldn't have put it like that, I guess. We never broke up in the first place. So think of it as we're not in a tight spot anymore.”
You nod as he fell to his knees, now pretty much the same height as you. “You gotta promise you'll never do some dumb shit like that again. Not to me, not to any other guy if we really do end up breaking up eventually.” You nod. “Will you stop nodding at me and use your words, please?” His hands rested on your thighs. You wanted to nod again but didn't. “I won't do it again, Scott. I won't ever be stupid like that again.”
“Good.” His hands left your thighs so that he could wrap his arms around your chest. You slide a little to reach him and hug him over the shoulders. You buried your face in his neck, kissing it gently. “I missed you, Scotty.”
“I missed you too.” He rubbed your back and pulled back to see your face. “Can I kiss y—” You didn't let him finish that question. As soon as you heard kiss, you went for it. It was slow and passionate. It turned into a little bit of a makeout, but hey! who were you to complain.
Afterward, he wiped your cheek with his thumb and smiled. “You taste good.” He let out a little chuckle. “Like cherries.” You smile back, digging your hand into his blonde hair. “It's the chapstick you bought me a few weeks ago, remember. You said you liked cherries and wanted my lips to taste like them everytime we kiss.”
“Bold of you for assuming we'd kiss tonight.” He pinched your cheek. “Yeah, well, it was definitely an assumption.”
Hours went by while you two really got deeper into the whole thing. He told you that he was anxious about even coming over to talk to you and that he was actually just gonna end up breaking up with you after you gave him an explanation. But of course, he didn't, and also told you why.
More kisses were shared, along with hugs. “I love you, angel.” he whispered into your ear as you fell asleep in his arms.
It took the rest of the summer to even get a little more comfortable around both boys, but it happened. School started up again, so you didn't get to see Scott all day, but once you got home, he was outside your porch.
God, telling your parents that you were dating Scott sent them to another planet, but at least it was Scott! If it was anyone else, your dad probably would've threatened to shoot them. Sam liked to keep his distance from you, which was understandable. But that didn't mean he was gonna stop saying hi when he saw you, or give a hug here and there when you came over.
Scott was such a good boyfriend, indeed. Taking you out almost every day to hang out just to eat. When you were just friends, he got along with your parents just well, but now that he was over more, his dad LOVED him.. mostly cause Scott would actually pay attention to your dad's nonsense and genuinely enjoy it.
“I dont know how you dont tell him to shut up and leave.” You say, combing his hair while he laid in between your thighs. “I dont know how you do! He tells me all these things from when he was in high school and stuff. I like hearing about it.” He shrugged. “Mm.” You hum. He smirked and turned himself around, burying his face in your clothed crotch.
This made you a little nervous since, well, the last time he's ever touched you was THAT day. “Scott, what are you doing..” You asked, hips bucking when he rubbed his thumb up and down on your crotch. “Nothing. Can I not touch my girlfriend? Make her feel good?” He bit his lip, making eye contact.
Yeah, this was going somewhere good cause you being all nervous and shy turned him on real bad and ended up with him eating your pussy and fingering you. At least he was being slow and gentle. Your parents were home, too, so the risk excited him a little more.
And of course! he fucked you, too! he even recorded it.
Scott Monroe is the best boyfriend you could ask for. He always knows what to say when you're sad, what to do when you're mad, and how to just keep you happy. He loved you so much. He was already fantasizing about marrying you after 3 years of staying together. Yeah, you both were still young, but he was never gonna let you leave him..
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I KNOW YALL HATE ME UGHH IM SORRY I JUST COULDNT DO DATING BOTH @ THE SAME TIME CAUSE THEN IT'D END UP IN MORE PARTS AND IM LAZY 4 THAT 💔 anyway erm!! the part where hes like ermm eating you out I was lwk thinking of it being like this (8:46 — 19:33) but jajaaj anyways tell me what you want is FINISHED 😈😈😈
@heartsforanakin @sockiess @anakinstwinklebunny 🎀
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astrolynnworld · 4 months
Text
caught
pairing: dom!matt x reader
summary: while you’re in the shower, matt finds some hidden toys. how quick can he be before your roommate gets back?
warnings: smut! toy usage, watching you masturbate, aggressive sex, caught by roommate, praise/degradation, pet names.
word count: 1,792
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i squeal as i stretch from the stale position of my nap
i look over at matt who’s on his phone playing pokémon go
“hey” i speak with rasp
“oh you’re up” he smiles at me, “dont forget that nai invited us to her house party later”
fuck i forgot. i kinda dont even really wanna go, it just feels like the type of day where you lay in bed and never get up
“do we have to go?” i ask with a frown
“come on babe, we don’t have to stay long but let’s at least show our face” he replies
“fine. let me start getting ready now” i say as i hop out the bed to the shower
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matt’s pov:
after i hear the shower water turn on, i get up and walk to y/n’s mirror to see how i look for this party
“i need to brush my hair” i say out loud
i look around to see if she has a brush lying around anywhere
nope.
i start checking some drawers just in case she likes to keep everything tucked away
i open the first drawer to a bunch of shirts and crop tops. “not here” i say aloud
the second drawer was just filled with all kinds of pants. “not this either” i say again
i opened her bottom drawer because maybe this would be where she kept all her beauty supplies
but i was wrong.
all I see is mass amounts of electrical toys. from vibrators to dildos to plugs.
i didn’t know my girlfriend was this much of a freak..
a million questions was running through my mind. how often would she use these? was i not doing the job? why wouldn’t she ask me to incorporate these into our sex lives?
i waited for her to get out the shower so she could do some explaining
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y/n’s pov:
i get out the shower, grab my towel and walk back into my bedroom.
when i open the door i see matt standing by my dressers with the bottom one open
fuck. i know he saw the freak show i have going on in there
“wanna explain?” matt exclaims, breaking the silent staring contest we had
“are you mad?” i ask, letting that be the deciding factor on what i say next
“no. i just wanna know why i never knew you were into stuff like that” he brews
“it’s not like a super big deal. i touch and play with myself when you’re not always around” i tell
he walks closer to me, “do you think of me when you do”
i look up at him and nod, i could tell that the idea of this was turning him on
“which one do you think about me the most with?” he asks dominantly
“the blue wand looking one” i say as i point to the drawer
he goes to grab it then brings it back to me, “show me how you would use it”
i freeze
“huh?” i ask
“show me. how you would use it.” he demands as he hands me vibrator
i take it out his hand and stare as he finds a seat at my desk ready to watch the show
i have never had someone watch me masturbate before but the idea didn’t necessarily turn me off
i walk back over to my dresser because im going to need a little help if im using the vibrator
i grab the pink dildo that sat at the top of the drawer and i make my way to the bed
i could tell matt was putting up a lot of resistance to not speak since he didn’t want to ruin the scene
i take off my towel and lay down flat on the bed, facing my body towards him allowing him a perfect view of my already wet pussy.
i turn on the vibrator and place it on my clit.
this wand had high sensational levels so the vibrations were strong
i start rubbing the vibrators in circles before taking the end of the dildo and tracing it against my hole
i can hear matt’s anticipated breaths fill this silent room
i start slowly trying to push the dildo in as i fail to mask my small moans
the toy was pressing against my walls at the perfect pressure
from my peripheral vision i could see matt starting to undo his pants and take his dick out into his hands
the idea of him watching me masturbate had always secretly been a fantasy of mine
i continue to let these thoughts of matt watching me flow through my head as i push the dildo deeper into me
i whimper as i feel the tip of the toy push all the way against my g spot
i continue to circle the wand around my clit as i use the dildo to pull out and push deep back inside of me
the stimulus of both these toys at the same time was always enough to set me loose
i try to fight being nosy but i couldn’t control my body movements
i start slowly grinding into the wand and toy more and more aggressively
i slightly raise my head again to check on matt and i see him stroking his dick with his foggy eyes and chest panting from breathing so hard
i put my head back down and start whimpering her name as i continue to grind into the toys
“matt oh my god” i gasp out
“please matt.”
“fuck matt you feel so good.”
“don’t stop matt.”
“nugh- matt please keep fucking me” i say on repeat
i didn’t even notice matt had gotten up from the chair until i felt his hands slowly trace up my spreaded legs
i slowly stop the grinding just to see what his plan of action is
he pulls the dildo out and tosses it to the side before sliding his own dick inside
“matt-“ i try to speak as he starts thrusting into me
“i can’t watch this anymore. i have to be the one to make you cum. i always want to be the one to make you cum” he speaks
“you’re so fucking hot and nasty. putting on that slutty show for me knowing how turned on you make me” he continues
i don’t speak. i just let the noises flow from my mouth as he pushes balls deep inside of me
he grabs the wand from my hand and spits on my pussy before putting it back on my clit and rubbing it in with the wand
“fuck your pussy is so pretty. i cant get enough of you”
i stare up at him with a fucked out expression as his dick continues to pound inside of me
he puts his other hand on my throat and bends down to start kissing me, slowly getting more sloppy.
“you’re mine okay princess? all mine.” he whispers into my mouth
“all yours” i repeat, choked out from his tight grip on my throat
he continues to thrust messily before stopping
“turn over” he echos
i flip over and lay on my stomach while arching my ass up
he slaps my ass, “so fucking sexy”
matt hands me back the vibrator so i can hold it against my own clit before sliding back into my drenched hole
“fuck you just get hotter and hotter” he says as i throw my ass back on him while the thrusts into me
the room filled with nothing more than echos of clapping sounds and moaning
matt starts pulling my hair, leaving me no choice but to tilt my head up
“look at how you sound under me. you’re so perfect for me baby, it’s like you were made for my cock” he says through gritted teeth
matthew doesn’t stop the slamming into me, making it so hard to speak. but i did find my words when i heard the front door open indicating that my roommate was back home
“ma- matt.. my room- roommate is ba- back. we need to be qu- quiet” i try to make out into a sentence
matt bends down into my back and aggressively holds my mouth as he continues to slowly thrust deep into me
i close my eyes and shudder at the stimulation that overtakes my g spit and clit
“y/n? are you ready for the party yet?” my roommate yells from the kitchen
i can’t even bother trying to function out a response to her because i knew it would give away the scene behind my room door right now
it also didn’t help that matt was starting to whisper in my ear about how slutty and nasty i am
i went fuzzy over all the stimulation, i wouldn’t even be able to conjure up a sentence if i wanted too
i just hope she doesn’t walk in here because lord knows how i would be able to explain this to her later.
matt starts whispering in my ear about how good i feel and how bad he wants to cum
my pussy starts to tighten at the incoming orgasm that we’re about to share
“baby you’re clenching around me so tight.. i’m gonna-“
the door swings open, “y/-“ she stops as she realizes the scene in front of her
i clench around matt’s cock and let orgasm out as he continues to thrust and meet my orgasm halfway
she looks horrified, i feel terrible
“fuck. i’m sorry” she says before quickly walking back out
i can’t even focus on what just happened, i continue to fuck back into matt’s cock and ride out my high as he does the same
after a few seconds of deep breaths and calming down, i fully realize what had just happened
“matt oh my god. that’s so embarrassing” i snicker out of humiliation
he pulls out and flips me over so he can get a better look at me
“to be fair we should of locked the door” he laughs back
“I DIDNT KNOW SHE WOULD COME BACK THAT QUICK!!” i say while covering my face in embarrassment
“god it’s probably gonna be soo awkward now.” i continue
“orrr.. this could make you closer!” matt says
“you’re just saying shit” i laugh
“yeah! cause the world isn’t going to stop because your roommate saw me fucking you into oblivion” he continues
i stare at him in silence
“i mean.. i was putting shit DOWN. and now she knows how you really get”
“you’re actually no help.” i say with a fake frown trying to hold back my laugh
he smiles, “whatever. let’s finish getting ready so we can go to this party”
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a/n- thank you guys so much for 500 followers 🥹🥹 i literally started this account 11 days ago!! love you guys so much
@bernardsleftbootycheek <33
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