#dpr fanfiction
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Winterfall
Synopsis: When you thought of your life, Glenview Psychiatric Hospital was the last place you thought you’d end up. What could be weirder than calling a place like this home? Finding people who remind you that, sometimes, the messiest parts of who we are can be the best parts of us too.
Pairings: Christian Yu x Reader x Jay B x Reader (It’s a love triangle, y’all)
Series: ongoing
Word Count: 5186
Warnings: mentions of self-harm, mental health issues, mental disorders, slight violence, sexual themes
A/N: This is a hard one to post. I’ve had this in my WIPs for over seven years. I’ve rewritten it multiple times. Consider if this was a series, I was willing to share. As someone who suffers from BPD II and PTSD, it felt strange to dive into mental health. In a way, I felt like I needed a safe place to get it out. To share. This fic isn’t meant to be sad. It’s meant to be about growth. The journey of mental health can be a messy one, but it doesn’t have to hinder our own growth. Our sadness does not define us. If I ever miss anything in the warnings for chapters, please let me know and I’ll fix it ASAP! This fic is loosely based off of one of my favorite films, Girl, Interrupted. And remember, if you you ever need to talk: Im here.
Shout out to my bestie @deadneverlander for always being the better half in our clownery. I wouldn't be able to do half of this without you.
There was something about the bleakness of winter that seemed to make countless people’s bones ache for the warmth of summer. Their loneliness is somehow made more apparent by rain clouds and negative degrees, turning thoughts into reminiscent scenes of a doomsday film.
You’d always claimed that fall was your favorite season because the vast spectrum of your sadness didn't match the heat of summer. Sure, you loved the possibilities of hot cocoa, warm fires, ridiculous horror, Christmas films, and the first sight of snow. Somewhere along the way, however, came the anxiety of holiday dinners. Where the comfort you’d found in overcast skies turned sinister with repeated looks that reminded you that you were the black sheep; the odd man out with another year of nothing to show.
Fall no longer meant binges on shows and breaks from the endless routine that was work and school. It meant laying in the snow until your body heat forced it to melt underneath you, seeping into the fabric of your clothes to leave your nerves numb and transparent like ice. Your mind silently hoped it would be enough to extinguish the agony that blossomed in your chest.
Jackets were no longer marked for warmth, but strictly to hide your struggle to feel anything past the chasm that’d grown in the past couple of months: to bleed out the parts of you that didn't belong. It wasn't a surprise it's what landed you a one-way ticket to the cozy room inside a psychiatric hospital. Maybe that's just what happens when you're found unresponsive with a belly housing a fifth of rum. The marks on your skin lay like a map to follow on how you got there; only being found like a frantic afterthought.
Glenview Psychiatric Hospital, or GSH that was strategically labeled in bright crimson above the pocket of your prison-inspired sweatshirt, had been home for three months now. It was meant to be a place of healing, among the basic mood stabilizing and therapy sessions everyone held in a day. You felt further away from that concept with every group activity the doctors forced you to take part in. Your social anxiety becoming apparent each time it lands on you to speak, either to close the circle, or to be a part of the ridiculous game activities. The last time you played volleyball your face saw more action with the pleather ball than your arms ever did.
It was currently 12:47 p.m. The clock giving you a false sense of hope that the time wouldn’t just creep by to leave you stranded the last thirteen minutes until you’d earned your freedom. There was, however, the off chance if Dr. Thompson wasn't hearing what he wanted; the hour-long group activity would be extended.
You scanned the other six faces that made up your group: the huddled mess of piled sweaters and huddled blanket of Soomi a fleeting moment of comfort. It only took your eyes adjusting on her figure to know she didn’t have one. Her tiny body composed of thick layers of clothes to portray a false sense of shape. Her anorexia becoming so severe her family had no other option but to put her here, or watch her die. Jason’s endless finger taps on every surface he could touch the only giveaway to his OCD until he removed himself from his chair. Sejun with his alcoholism and Yuna with her acidic imagination that the wind whispered her deepest secrets out into the world.
All this ending with your gaze narrowed on the statuesque figure of Jaebum who comically sat opposite of your current position. The two suicidal inmates that shared in the anxiousness of sadness but little else, and the usual reason why your group never seemed to end on time.
You couldn't say it was a shame to be stuck sitting dead center of someone so attractive; as shallow of an observation as it was there was no denying how ungodly true that statement was. He held a silent attractiveness that resonated in the solitude he kept around himself, and Jaebum was indeed a solitary creature.
He preferred books over people. Usually moving away from anyone who got close to his latest reading perch without ever glancing up from his current book. Jaebum’s favorite place he’d reserved to get lost inside his fiction the seal of the window that looked out the expanse of the institute’s backyard. The entire estate currently covered in the dead burgundy and gold of a forest of oak tree leaves.
It wasn't like you were laying avid amounts of your attention on him or anything. You didn't pay attention to how broad his shoulders looked in his old man sweaters that you could've bet money smells like mothballs. How his features seemed sharpened to match the fierceness that lived inside his eyes. The only thing that exposed his softness was the speck of a mole that dusted itself on his left eyelid.
Jaebum just held a presence that demanded to be noticed. Whether he himself liked it or not.
“Jaebum: do you have anything you’d like to add to the session?”
Dr. Thompson’s question made the both of you jolt in your seats. Youwere too busy staring down at your nails while you plucked away at the cuticles. Jaebum's head turned, unbeknownst to you, from looking at you to the good doctor. It was enough to make your cheeks flush hot.
His crossed arms gave a soft shrug, and you hated how your eyes stayed captivated by the movement. You were willing to blame it on the charcoal-worn cable knit sweater he favored. It really did smell like moth balls and age making you willing to bet it wasn't his to begin with.
“We talked about this guys. Shrugging is not an adequate substitute for an answer.”
His tone showing his frustration more than anger at his need to repeatedly inform the group. Dr. Thompson looked at each of you individually until he stopped on Jaebum, who didn’t seem the least bit moved.
“I have nothing to say.”
A sigh escaped from Dr. Thompson’s lips as his head shook softly. His eyes averted down to the tin clipboard momentarily before they resumed their previous position.
“And what is it exactly you would like me to add, huh?” You felt your body tense against the chair. Your hands grasping at its edges like it would be the only thing to keep you stable against the oncoming rage that was Jaebum’s agitation. “We do these pointless sessions over and over: again and again. For what? Do you think it “saves” anyone?”
Your eyes diverted from the safety of your knees; counting every frayed piece of cloth on your jeans that hung loose from torn holes. No part of you needed to acknowledge that he was standing. The room did that well enough with the tension his power caused. The room itself swelling with anxiety that made fidgety Sera begin to rock violently against the back of her chair. Her head shaking hair into her face, like a curtain to hide what she feared was coming her way like the abusive hands of her father.
The orderlies were already beginning to circle his chair, but Dr. Thompson held up a hand of warding. He reminded you too much of an irresponsible ring handler at a circus. Unwilling to recognize his own tiger was about to maim him.
“No, no that’s fair enough. I see you have an issue with the way we try and help our patients.”
“Help?!” Jaebum snarled. “Is that what you call it? Like you helped Simon remember all the things he wanted to forget! Is that what you call endless therapies until he killed himself! You consider being helpful with the way you handled Ian?”
Dr. Thompson regarded Jaebum quietly, but his eyes were focused and searching the young man’s face. You watched in helpless awe as one stood like a calm in a blazing storm, while the other raged so furiously you thought the walls would come down. No longer was his voice a strong current, but now thunderous words that hurled like lightning bolts were being directed at the man before him.
Jaebum was right. Sometimes, the doctors picked and picked a part at you until you were left bare and raw. And if their words didn’t do it their physical methods picked up where they lacked. His anger was justified, because deep down so were you. But you didn’t have the towering strength like he did to stand up to anyone. Your fear of the seclusion rooms kept you prisoner: locked in your chair as a simple flick of Dr. Thompson’s hand sent the orderlies rushing to Jaebum’s side.
“I think that’s enough for today’s session.”
In the back of your mind you knew that Jaebum was right. In part. Who were counselors and psychologists to tell the broken mirrors of people how to put their pieces back together? Only to end up with more blood on their hands from struggling to put sharp pieces in place. They studied people like you, Jaebum...people like Ian who were features in their college books. They themselves barely ever one to experience it themselves.
Healing, even if unconventional, was still healing in the end. There was no right or wrong way to get there, but here, with people like Dr. Thompson, their textbook solutions were the only solutions. Maybe that’s why it backfired so terribly with Ian.
So for once, you wanted to stand up with Jaebum. To call out the injustices of treatments forced on patients, like Ian. Treatments they’d placed on patients that only wanted to forget, because no one wants to remember traumas and everything that makes them feel like failures.
You knew, however, if you took that chance to be brave for once you would end up like Jaebum. Uselessly struggling against orderlies who came prepared with syringes to make you complacent and an endless day being locked for god knew how long inside seclusion.
It was cowardice that kept your mouth shut. All of you stayed quiet as an orderly you aptly nicknamed, “The Bull,” grabbed at the neck of Jaebum’s sweater. That was all it took for him to react violently. Jaebum’s elbow flew back with such force it dislodged The Bull’s grip, which only seemed to make it worse.
“Jaebum, please do not struggle.” Dr. Thompson’s voice didn’t sound as soothing as he probably imagined. Obvious agitation outlined every word; the struggle forcing all of you up from your chairs and away from the fighting. “Everyone out. Now.”
A part of you hated listening. For not firmly digging your feet in to stand for something you agreed wasn’t right. It was an odd thought. Since Ian was the usual instigator of the chaos of how these ended. Never Jaebum. Maybe he just felt like in Ian’s absence he needed to take over for him.
“You play god with everyone’s emotions and leave them to drown alone in the aftermath. You are the reason Christian keeps escaping and Hyujin is gone! It’s you! It’s all of you!”
Jaebum’s rage became more apparent with each sentence and broke as his throat formed the words of his former friend. Former because he’d found himself as one of Dr. Thompson’s experimental new treatments. A treatment that brought back too much Hyujin couldn’t cope with - was forced to confront - before he was ready.
The ward still felt hollow - missing in the sound of Hyujin’s laugh.
You would’ve been impressed with the way Jaebum was laying into the doctor. He was holding his own against the orderly at his arms until the Bull snuck behind him and brought him falling down to the cold concrete floor.
That was the last you saw of Jaebum as you were ushered outside the doors. You faced them for a long time. No one questioned why you stood at the entrance as Jaebum’s yelling dulled to nothing. It was too late for you to run back and play the role of knight in shining armor and standing in front of the door would only make the staff assume you were waiting to cause a scene.
Turning on your heel you headed towards the living area. Your mind racing heavily with indecision and not paying attention to the overcrowded chairs and couches. You bypassed them all to head to your favorite window seat. It was opposite to the one everyone knew as Jaebum’s; reading a new book every week during free time. It was so engrained to the fabric of the facility that no one tried to take it from him. Not even Ian.
You folded into yourself as soon as you sat down on the window seat. Your chin pressed into your shoulder so you could get a better look outside. The vibrant colors of changing leaves reminding you that fall was coming. Maybe they would let you work outside if you were good? You were tired of doing bathroom and kitchen duties, but because of Ian’s latest stunt no one was allowed outside. Not until the fences were made higher with wire curled along the top.
If thoughts could be breathed into existence, you were positive you alone would be deemed responsible for Ian walking, right then and there, through the facility's double doors. Of course, Ian could never simply enter a room quietly.
Christian entered every room like a force. Wild and unpredictable. Mother Nature couldn’t compete with his massive hurricane personality. No one could come close, because underneath all that unhinged nature was a magmatism that far outreached just good looks.
Was Christian good looking? Devilishly so. It was his way with words, however, that left many people reeling. Not just fellow patients, but staff as well. He was painfully charming and, if you weren’t prepared for his wide-set smile directed in your direction, you were going to find yourself in trouble. Deep, deep Christian-flavored trouble. The staff had even labeled him with a warning of “verbal jujitsu” - you had to stay miles ahead of the conversation or you’d find yourself like the recently fired psych tech who’d handed over the ward keys without a second thought.
Seriously. That’s how Christian escaped this time. All the other times, well, the man could be considered the second coming of Houdini.
“How have you been, Bob? Are your feet still giving you grief, Margo?”
It was impressive how he acted like it wasn’t a big deal he’d magically reappeared. The guard and orderlies awkwardly keep watch over the double doors he’d come through like he’d disappear back into thin air.
You hated how happy you became hearing the richness of his voice. The way his accent reminded you of the battle of wills on what was the proper way to say, “water,” and the teasing you gave him about constantly saying, “Naurr”.
“It’s Margaret, jackass,” the older psych tech mumbled in reply. She didn’t even bother to look up from putting a new bandage on Bob’s hands.
“Missed you too, babe.”
You watched his reflection in the safety of the glass of the window. You didn’t want to show how eager you were to see him - or to find out that every time he left the ward became almost too much to bear alone.
In the safety of the window, you could pretend the call to freedom was what kept your eyes hypnotized. Not the sleeveless tee he’d tucked inside the waist of skinny jeans that hugged to the muscles like paint or the layers of tattoos that covered honey skin. He wasn’t tan when he’d left. Where had Ian’s adventures taken him this time?
You would get the chance to ask him yourself.
When his eyes caught sight of your huddled frame curled in the window seat his trajectory changed completely. He didn’t think you’d noticed him yet, but it didn’t stop his infamous megawatt smile from brightening up his features and the butterflies he’d left trapped in your gut instantly springing back to life.
The only downside? You were more than positive Ian saw you only as a sister. If he’d thought of you in the past as anything else you would’ve definitely known by now. As much as Ian was known for his charisma and whirlwind energy, he was also known for slipping into the janitor’s closet with more than a few now-fired staff members.
In a matter of seconds, he left the mirage of the window to become real beside you. The smell of cigarettes and his preferred cologne enveloped you, instantly turning the space intimate. You tried your best to ignore him. Ian would receive nothing but the side eye from you after the latest shit he’d pulled.
He let out a heavy sigh as a finger playfully poked into your side. He wiggled the digit in a weak attempt to tickle you thinking it would be enough for you to finally look at him. Fat chance. Using your elbow, you pushed down with just enough force to dislodge him from your side. The act forced a heavy sigh to flare his nostrils as he leaned back against the window.
“Come on, ‘Roo. You can’t be that mad at me?”
Of course, he would use your nickname. The nickname you earned one night when he’d tried to tickle you until you couldn’t breathe. To be honest, he thinks you’d kicked him accidentally in the chest because you might wet yourself. The truth? Ian had gotten dangerously close. A few times it felt like his lips were just a few sharp breaths away from landing on yours, and that night you’d felt hollow. So hollow. All you wanted was to burn and Ian…he was so full of fire and life and for once you wanted to know what it felt like to be filled with something other than emptiness.
You wanted to catch fire too.
So you’d kicked out at him in panic. Hence how you became his Kangaroo. His ‘Roo.
“Actually,” you began, biting out the world with each syllable. “I can be upset with you and I most definitely am.”
“Don’t be like that, ‘Roo. I know you missed me.”
“No, I didn’t. It was rather peaceful while you were off on whatever antics you decided to get into.”
A tsk sent his bottom lip into a pout as he crossed his arms. His shoulders lean further down the window and slightly into your view.
God, why did he have to be so heartbreakingly handsome?
You refused to make eye contact with him. Don’t do it. It’s a trick. You knew it was a trick. A sneaky ploy and yet…you looked. One look was all it took and Ian knew he had you.
“I missed you.” His voice caressed your skin like velvet causing it to erupt in goosebumps. “So, I know if I missed you that can only mean that you missed me.”
A snort of disbelief left you as you finally gave him what he’d been asking: your full and undivided attention.
“Is that how it works, Ian?”
“Ah!” He beamed. “She finally looks at me.”
You couldn’t keep your eyes from rolling as you tried to face away from him, but Ian wasn’t having it.
“I shouldn’t even do that.”
“Where is all this hostility coming from?” He pouted. “Did you experience another one of Dr. Thompson’s riveting group circles?”
“It’s not funny, Ian. You always leave.” You hated how your voice betrayed you. The way it cracked before you could glue it back together. “You go and leave me here, without you, all the time. One of these days you may not come back.”
All the playfulness slowly drained from his features. The sly smile wilted to a grimace as deep brown eyes scanned over your face. Calculating your words with the body language of guarded arms and saddened eyes. His hands gently grabbed at your elbows to loosen your arms before turning you to him. His head dipped down just a bit to make sure he had you at eye level.
“Hey, ‘Roo. I’m sorry. I come back for you, you know that right?” You knew he was lying, but try telling that to the butterflies fluttering around like crazy in your gut. “These assholes could never catch me if I didn’t turn myself in, and I only turned myself in to get back to you.”
You didn’t know what you would’ve said at that moment. Maybe something he wanted to hear or maybe - finally - you’d have the guts to call him out on his bullshit. Luckily for you, the muffled sound of Jaebum’s screaming slowly grew louder until his struggling body was brought through the double doors from therapy.
“Let me go, you assholes!”
You’d never seen Jaebum fight so fiercely before. The way he flailed his arms to find a way to get them released along with his legs kicking out like a madman. They practically dragged him down the hall towards seclusion. For a split second, in his struggle, his eyes landed on you. His gaze held yours for what felt like a lifetime until the spell was broken. It felt like slow motion as his face turned to see Ian on your right and all the fight drained from his body.
Did he think he was fighting for Ian? Himself? Jaebum was never much for acting out. That was usually Ian who created trouble. Maybe that was why he looked so shocked seeing Jaebum being dragged down to seclusion.
“Oi! What the fuck is this?”
Ian was up off the window seat in seconds. A couple of orderlies were already coming out from behind the nursing station to meet him halfway. Whatever they were saying, you weren’t all too sure. Ian was doing his usual of screaming and shoving causing the orderlies to prepare for a fight. The patients closest to all the commotion desperately trying to get out of the way.
It was all chaos. All classic Ian. The only non-classic thing was Jaebum looking at you in a way you’d never noticed before. It created a row of questions that sat heavily on your tongue and ones you weren’t sure he would ever be willing to answer.
It wasn’t until everything had settled down again that you snuck inside the room that held group therapy. Your eyes instantly homing in on Jaebum’s chair and underneath it one of his grandfather’s books.
Before you dared to push all the way through into the room you gave one last cautious glance to the recreation room and slipped inside. You made sure to hold the door so it didn’t click into place. There was no denying if you were caught sneaking in somewhere you weren’t meant to be you’d be joining Jaebum in your own seclusion room.
The sterile room with its egg-white walls was most definitely not your favorite. The only way to add your own source of color to its walls was to display your thoughts - projecting them out like a fucked up home movie that you’d rather forget.
You made sure to cut across the room silently. Your legs bending at the knee to swoop down to grab the worn-down cover and secure it to your chest.
You couldn’t explain why as you made your way out of the room towards the upper floor that held the seclusion rooms what made you want to do this for him. It’s not like he would thank you, but you weren’t looking for that.
It wasn’t hard to notice the way Jaebum cared for his late grandfather's things. From the sweater he wore daily that was meticulously cleaned and laundered to the few books Jaebum was able to keep from his collection. He coveted them the way others valued trophies but it wasn’t praise that Jaebum found secluded inside their pages: it was peace.
You didn’t know much about him. Jaebum wasn’t much of a sharer. He was reserved. The only way to know him was by the pages you held close to your chest. So, you weren’t terribly sure why you were doing this for him except for the fact you believed no one should go without something that they loved.
Just as you were about to round the last corner to the hallway that held seclusion rooms 1 through 3, you caught a flash of an orderly speaking to a nurse. From the brief moment you’d caught before you found the safety of the opposite wall, they were more than likely flirting.
Ted. That was the name written on his uniform. He’d called Ian a “Psycho,” a handful of times. You wondered if Ted knew the nurse he worshiped spent the same handful of nights sneaking inside Ian’s dorm.
“Do you maybe want to go get breakfast in the morning?”
Breakfast?! You mouthed to yourself before you snuck another peek around the corner.
“Oh, I don’t know, Ted. I might have plans later.”
If your eyes could roll back any harder you would’ve seen brain cells. You knew exactly what her supposed plans were. You could already hear the moans that echoed down the halls like a haunting. The only thing haunted here would be you.
You didn’t have to see Ted’s expression to know he was defeated. He was probably wondering how someone could refuse breakfast or maybe he was finally growing tired of being told no. The mystery of the unknown in this love triangle would sadly (not really) remain a mystery. You didn’t really care if they had breakfast together or hunted Easter eggs. You just wanted them to finish their awkward conversation and leave the damn hallway.
A few more strangled pieces of conversation later and you could hear the shuffling of feet. Quickly, you moved inside a linen closet and quietly shut the door. Your ears straining - waiting - to hear a pair of feet move past your location so you could finish what you came to do.
Every second you were out here and not inside your own dorm waiting for the nurses to come in and check you were there was one second too many in a chance at punishment. After a few more minutes went by and the coast sounded relatively clear, you creeped out from the linen closet and dashed towards the seclusion rooms.
“Jaebum!?” You half whispered half yelled. “Jay!”
“What the hell are you doing over here?”
Ah, there was that condescending voice you’d grown accustomed to. Following the sound of his voice, and with the help of his fingers hanging out of the small seclusion window, you darted towards the back of the hall. Your arms still securely held onto his grandfather’s book and only began to loosen as you got closer to the door.
“I wanted to bring you something before they placed it in lost and found.”
With another cautious glance down the hall, your fingers wrapped around the edges of the book's spine. You offered it up to him and gently started to push it through the small window. Jaebum hadn’t spoken since he noticed what you held in your hands. His fingers overlapped yours as he took it from you. His arms immediately brought it inside with him with the sound of pages flipping while he made sure each page was still accounted for.
“How did you-“ he began, but his words quickly died out.
“Can you believe it ladies and gentlemen? For once, he was too stunned to speak,” you teased.
Jaebum’s eyes narrowed in on your face. His hands wagged the book as if he was going to hit you over the head with it. Who knows, he might have if there wasn’t a 30-pound door stationed between you.
“I’m serious. You came all this way to give me this?”
You shrugged his words off like what you’d done wasn’t a big deal. Both of you knew it was. So many factors that could lead you to where he was, or worse, if they believed you were trying to steal someone else’s property. Which, they one hundred percent would even though kleptomania wasn’t part of your conga line list of disorders.
“I remember how much his things matter to you. I didn’t want Bull or Kojak The Great Dick to get a hold of it. I know they wouldn’t have respected it after today.”
You’d expected a lot of things to come out of this exchange. The main one? At least a thank you. All you were getting now felt like the cold shoulder that featured a very unnerving stare. With every second you were feeling more self-conscious and it took everything in you not to shout, “Boo!” in an attempt to get him to blink.
You couldn’t take the awkwardness of the exchange any longer. Your feet were already backpedaling as your arms swung, thumb extended out, to indicate your exit before you spoke.
“Great well, this was a fun chat-“
“He lies to you, you know.”
Jaebum’s words took you by surprise. You were sure that was the point. His face was set in deep lines of determination as if what he needed to say was something you needed to adhere to like the gospel from the Bible.
“Okay, Jay I’ll bite: who is he?”
“You know who I’m talking about. Ian. It’s who he is. He doesn’t know how to tell the truth, and you always set yourself up for failure with him.”
Maybe Jaebum thought he was being helpful - calling to light all things you were aware of but couldn’t bring yourself to say out loud. You must have seemed too weak - gullible - in his eyes for him to believe he needed to say these things.
You eyed him coolly through the window. Your tongue rolled around inside your cheek trying to decide what exactly you should say at this moment. Did he want recognition that you knew you were an idiot? What did it matter to him if you knew Ian didn’t give two fucks about you.
So, the only thing you could settle on was the beginning of a long sigh before you spoke: “I know I might look like a love-sick puppy to you, Jay, but I know my place.”
He tried saying your name to stop you. You just ignored him as you shook your head and allowed yourself to begin to move back down the hall towards the safety of your own dorm.
“It’s alright, Jay I get it. Take care of your grandfather’s things better, okay?”
You didn’t wait to finish your sentence before you were already turning to head down the hallway. The bottom of your feet itching for you to sprint in the opposite direction. Your mind raced over Jaebum’s words and matched them with the growing chasm in your chest.
So lost in your head, you barely caught the sound of his parting, “Thank you,” as you bolted around the corner.
#winterfall#ongoing series#dpr ian#dpr ian x reader#dpr ian scenarios#christian yu#christian yu x reader#dpr scenarios#dpr fanfiction#dpr#lim jaebum#lim jaebeom#jay b x reader#jay b#jay b x scenarios#khh scenarios#khh fanfic#christian yu scenarios#christian yu angst#jay b angst#christian yu x fanfics#yu barom#yu barom x reader#dream perfect regime#comments and feedback of any kind is always appreciated!#Thank you for reading
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i wish barty crouch jr had tiktok so i could watch his version of the ‘don’t go insane’ belt dance because i KNOW he would eat that up
#evan would be drooling off to the side#does anyone know what i’m referencing#or am i fucking crazy#barty crouch jr#don’t go insane dpr ian#rosekiller#evan rosier#slytherin skittles#marauders era#marauders fanfiction
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Christian Yu x Y/N - drabble - 1.3K WC
Masterlist
Warnings: DID, Mito, depression, fluff, mention of medication, mention of vomiting, anxiety, nudity, slightly steamy?, like a cup of tea left out for a while level of steam, COMFORT, established relationship
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Your bones cracked as you stretched in your soft bed. A weight on your waist is what kept you grounded as you woke up. You finally squinted your eyes open, looking down to see Christian’s arm across you as his face was nuzzled into your side. You yawned, slowly getting out of bed, you made your way to the kitchen. You reached for yours and Christian’s coffee mugs before you felt a sluggish pair of arms wrap around you. You jumped, sucking in a sharp breath out of surprise.
“Good morning.” you whispered as he leaned his head against the top of yours.
He didn’t respond, which you found odd, but you shrugged it off. You moved around slowly, Christian attached to your back as you waited for the coffee to finish brewing. Christian slipped his hands into yours, anxiously playing with your fingers. You frowned a bit.
“Are you ok Christian?” you asked, turning around gently so you could remain in his arms.
His head was down but you could see the dark circles under his eyes. You reached up, tilting his chin slightly. When his eyes finally met yours they were big and glossy. They searched yours fervently. Instantly you pulled him into a secure hug.
“Mito darling…” you mumbled into the crook of his neck as his strong arms wrapped themselves around you. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“Tired.” he whispered back to you.
You nodded as you pulled away. You tilted his chin down a bit so your lips could mesh with his momentarily. He kissed you back sweetly.
“Let's get this and go back to bed? Sound good?” you asked him.
He nodded, letting go of you to carry both coffee mugs back to your shared room. You grabbed a tin of strawberries from the fridge before following him. He took his shirt off as he crawled back into bed. You picked up the shirt he flung off and slipped it on. He watched you, smiling softly at the cute action. You plopped down next to him as he wrapped his arms around you.
“Can we stay in bed today? I don’t want to go outside.” he asked quietly as he kissed your cheek before you gave him a strawberry.
“We can stay in bed all day on one condition.” you said to him.
He raised his eyebrows at you as he chewed.
“We go on a walk later, just a short one. Around the block maybe? Or by the river?” you asked hopefully. You always tried to get Mito outside even if it was only for a bit, you knew how much he liked to isolate.
Mito didn’t respond for a moment before you pressed your lips to his shoulder, “Please?” you asked.
He nodded, “Can we get boba on the way back?”
“We can get whatever you want lovely.” you smiled at him. His lips twitched up softly as he pressed a strawberry to your lips. You bit off half before he took the other half. You turned on the tv popping on a movie you hadn’t seen in a bit. You weren’t really paying attention, you kept your eyes closed as you leaned against Mito. You had come to find that Mito always wanted to be with you, always wanted to be touching you. You made sure to nuzzle into him often, reassuring him of your presence. He played with your hair absentmindedly while he watched the movie. He kept his other hand on your hip, drawing lazy circles. He felt your breathing even out and smiled down at you when he realized you were asleep.
However, the longer he was alone the darker his thoughts got. He felt his eyes narrow, tunnel vision setting in as his anxiety spiked. He got up quickly, rushing to the bathroom. He stumbled into the door before landing on his knees and retching into the toilet.
You woke to a loud thud. You barely caught a glimpse of Mito running into the bathroom but when you heard him throwing up you knew what it was. You got up, making your way into the bathroom. You knocked quietly before going in entirely. The toilet flushed as Mito leaned back against the wall, his arms resting on his knees. He wiped the sweat off his brow before looking at you. You leaned down to sit across from him with a glass of water and a pill.
“Just for nausea.” you reassured him as he let the medicine taste envelope his tongue before he washed it all down. “Do you want your anxiety meds? They might help.” you said as you smoothed your thumbs over his knuckles.
Mito was hesitant to take meds after he had taken too many one time on a particularly bad day before he ever even knew you. But, he could see it in your eyes, how much you knew they would help. He nodded softly, sipping at his water while you moved around the bathroom getting his pills. You brought them back to him, placing them in his hand. He swallowed them down, cringing at the unpleasant feeling of pills streaming down his throat.
“I’m sorry for waking you up.” he said.
You waved him off, “Wanna shower? Might make you feel better.”
“As long as you come with.” he said as he got up, slipping his pants off.
You smiled and nodded quickly, throwing his shirt off as you turned the water on. You threw a shower bomb in, filling the bathroom with a sweet but spicy smell. You dimmed the lights before stepping in, the ambiance fitting the gloomy autumn day. Mito stood behind you, wrapping his arms around you as you both enjoyed the hot water. Mito moved you both so he could get your hair wet. He shampooed and conditioned your hair, giving you the most delicious scalp massages accompanied by occasional neck kisses. As he lathered your back in soap, he made sure to check with you before he cleaned anywhere else, ever the gentleman. You kissed him before nodding. You slumped against him, your eyes fluttering closed. His large hands gliding over your body set it alight. Everything about this moment was bubbling over with sensuality.
“I love you Mito…” you whispered out as you placed your hands over the tops of his, moving with him as he explored your body.
You felt him smile against your neck. You snapped out of it slightly, turning to face him. You kissed him passionately but carefully. Mito was very physical but not in the sexual sense, at least not as much as Christian was. Mito liked the comfort touch brought.
“Love you too.” he said softly. Mito’s voice was always soft but it was deeper. Almost a growl.
You grabbed the soap, washing him just as gently. You shampooed his hair into a mohawk, a rare toothy smile gracing Mito’s face when he saw his reflection. You finished rinsing each other off. You noticed his face was less puffy, the color slowly returning to it.
As you both dried off you asked, “Can we take a nap?” you knew Mito’s meds can make him a little sleepy when he first takes them, and truth be told you were exhausted from the work week.
Mito nodded at you as he handed one of his oversized shirts to you. You held it close, inhaling his scent before slipping it on. You held his hand as you walked over to the bed before jumping under the covers. You giggled as you and Mito looked at each other. He leaned in kissing you until you were desperate for air.
“We’ll go on that walk when we wake up.” he said as he kissed your head while he pulled you to rest on his chest.
You smiled as you closed your eyes, “Good plan.” you kissed his chest before snuggling in.
--------------------------
Naboo's Note:
Hello! Hope you enjoy, thank you to whoever sent in the request, i love writing for Mito. Thanks for all the likes comments and reblogs!
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Baby Fever
Christian Yu/DPR IAN X OC- [Fluff]
Have you had lunch yet? I texted Christian, knowing he must be in the studio right about now, working on new music.
He texted back saying he hadn’t, and I asked him to meet me at a nearby diner I knew about that had great food.
I kinda have something important I want to talk to you about.
Naturally he texted back with concern asking if everything was alright.
Everything is perfect, I reassured him.
We met at the diner within 30 minutes, and we ate, talked, and enjoyed each other’s company. I kept looking for the opportunity to break the news to him and thought about how I should say it. Luckily, he didn’t push me to deliver the news right away and instead waited for me to tell him on my own.
We paid the bill at the diner and then left. Deciding to go for a walk in the area, we held hands, as we passed by several shops.
It was a beautiful day outside and there were several couples in the area, including families. I notice one couple in particular pushing a baby stroller and thought to myself, maybe this could be us in a few months.
“So, what was it you wanted to …?”
“Oh, look!” I interrupted, directing Christian’s attention to a baby clothing store.
“Go inside with me?” I asked, walking towards the entrance to the shop.
He looked a bit confused, but agreed anyway.
“Oh my god, Christian, look how cute!” I said, excitedly holding up a pair of the smallest baby shoes I had ever seen.
“And what do you think of this? Can you imagine our baby in this?” I asked, holding up a gender-neutral onesie to show him.
“Are you …?”
“Pregnant? Yes, I am,” I said, finishing his sentence with a smile on my face.
“No … Holy shit,” he said looking stunned, with his eyes wide open.
“I know we weren’t planning for this, but …”
“It doesn’t even matter. This is wonderful, baby,” he said, giving me a loving kiss on the lips and placing his hand on my stomach.
Hopefully this was an enjoyable read for you. I actually wrote this months ago and had it saved somewhere this entire time. I was putting off on posting it up for some reason. If you like this enough, maybe I can think about turning it into a little series. Either way, I do have a couple of things I'm working on related to Christian. Whenever I finish that, I will get around to posting it up.
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Is really nobody going to write a DPR ian x Jungkook fanfic? Because otherwise I will. I mean, look at them :')))
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blame @hoshiseon and @skteezcursed for these
also rip joong not being in any of these options 😔
#ateez fanfiction#park seonghwa#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#song mingi#jung wooyoung#choi jongho#ateez imagines#ateez drabbles#ateez#ateez fanfic#seonghwa#yunho#yeosang#san#mingi#wooyoung#jongho#seonghwa fanfic#yunho fanfic#yeosang fanfic#san fanfic#mingi fanfic#wooyoung fanfic#jongho fanfic#dpr ian fanfiction#dpr ian#dpr ian fanfic
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➔ back to character select | back to main menu
🔞 many of these works contain sexual content (18+ mdni) 🔞
♤ — angst :: ♡ — fluff :: ♧ — smut
✍ — ongoing :: ⊝ — hiatus :: ⊗ — discontinued :: ✓ — completed
ⓘ DISCLAIMER :: MONSTER/ALIEN FUCKER ENTHUSIAST ⓘ
©️ kwanisms 2024 | all works on this blog are protected under copyright. Do not repost, continue, or translate my works. All graphics made by me. Content and support banners made by me using cafekitsune's template.
#dpr ian scenarios#dpr ian imagines#dpr ian fanfic#dpr ian fanfiction#dpr ian angst#dpr ian fluff#dpr ian smut#dpr ian x reader#christian yu scenarios#christian yu imagines#christian yu fanfic#christian yu fanfiction#christian yu angst#christian yu fluff#christian yu smut#christian yu x reader#dpr ian masterlist#christian yu masterlist#kwanisms masterlist
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This is the Way.
Masterlist for all fics.
K-Pop/Music - MX, DPR, GOT7
♥️ Monsta X
Double Trouble (Jookyun) - Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
Pairing: JooKyun x Reader | Genre: AU, Romance, Smut
Jooheon and Changkyun are an inseparable duo. They do everything together, and dating was no exception. You see them all the time and silently pine but eventually meet them and things progress from there.
Wattpad | AO3
♥️ Christian Yu | DPR Ian
Siren - Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
Pairing: Christian x You | Genre: Demon AU, Romance, Smut
That voice. It started calling me during the darkest moments of the night, like a siren luring me further into the deep and it has continued for weeks.
Wattpad | AO3
♥️ GOT7
Tear You Apart - Chapter 1 | 2 | 3
Pairing: GOT7 x Reader | Genre: Demon AU, Romance, Smut, slight yandere, a bit mafia.
Jaebeom and Yugyeom are "running an errand" when the most delectable scent that he ever smelled hit Yugyeom like a ton of bricks. Yugyeom stops JayB and soon he smells it. They look across the street and see the her. They stalk her for awhile and finally get the chance to manufacture a meet with her.
Wattpad | AO3
#kpop fanfic#monsta x fanfic#monsta x smut#changkyun#dpr ian#eventual smut#jooheon#jooheon fanfic#jooheon smut#changkyun fanfic#fanfiction#fanfic#jookyun smut#smut#dpr ian smut
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Video
youtube
Color in my moods (my moods)
No blues (blues)
Your violets on horizons
Forgot my screws (my screws)
My booze (shh)
My love brings all the lions
I don't assume that you knew (hey)
That I miss you when it's quiet
Oh, it's true, I want you (it's getting dark)
To tell me if I'm lying
Oh, I just came back from the moon
Found the lightning coming from your 눈
Violins holding onto your tune
My moods are swinging for you
Oh, I just came back from the moon
Found myself looking right at you
Violins playing into your tune
My moods are swinging for you
You know we spend so much time (too much time)
Just sinking holes in my mind
Our conversations last night (shh)
It got me thinking about you at
Four in the morning, rendezvous
You spend my feelings until I breakthrough
You were burning me, not setting me free
And I want to let you know
____________
Another song that is perfect for writing Phobos x Cedric, the vibes and the words absolute chef kiss ♥
#phobos x cedric#cedric x phobos#lord cedric#phobos escanor#dpr ian#mood#writing inpo#fanfiction#playlist
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Whats your current "I've been listening to this song on loop for hours now"?
Mine is, She's My Collar by Gorillaz
#for about 5 hours? was decorating#ive only know 3 gorillaz songs#and now i have a whole playlist and im looking up fanfiction (of the characters)#previous song on repeat was Mood by DPR IAN. it was most played song for a total of about 4 hours#i should be asleep but now im sorting my yarn
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Man and I haven't posted a thing since my account was made lmao
But hello guys! I believe that it's nigh time for me to try and work things out with my creative writing stuff so far! But before that, I should give myself an introduction and how I should work around with this account!
Basic Information
Name: Skye/Blu!
Age: 19
Birthday: September 14, 2004
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Straight as an uncooked spaghetti noodle
Hometown: Mars
Interests
Bands/Artists: Stray Kids, Xdinary Heroes, DPR IAN, AJR
Shows: Jujutsu Kaisen, Trigun, Avatar (Animated series)
Movies: HTTYD series, Harry Potter, Spiderman (Into/Across the Spiderverse)
Books/mangas: Maze Runner, Bleach, Gokurakugai
Songs: Strawberry Cake, X-Mas, MANIAC, Ballroom Extravaganza, Don't Go Insane (songs will be listed below)
Hobbies: Writing and Listening to music
Things about writing
I write short stories and poems!
I want to write a series but college goes full circle guys
I hope to beat my writer's block to build something great!
I do write fanfiction sometimes, but not as much now
I usually write romance and drama, but I'm not afraid to experiment with other genres!
I hope to eventually write a full on story series here!
Again, I look forward to starting my writing hobby here, and I will sometimes drop my past works here while also fixing some of my mistakes from those before. See you next time!
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Hi!! Okay so this is a bit of a weird ask (??) but I just went on a ~trip~ through your blog and thought you'd like to know. Maybe. Possibly.
So, I randomly remembered about TFM Yoongi, and super super got the itch to re-read it again. I knew it was on hiatus (literally a few days after I first read it 🥲), but I had it saved on my ✨secret bts fanfiction side-blog✨and on ao3. Couldn't find it. Panicked.
Quickly skimmed through your masterlist and wips - no signs of life. Maybe yoongles took it with him to the army for some late night reading? I considered sending you an ask, but then I was like - No, poor babygirl author probably gets a bunch of these, I'd much rather go through their posts, than to be yet another "WhEre iS tHe fiC" random stranger.
So I did. Did I find any additional info on it? Why is it gone? No. We love tumblr's search function 👍 It's fine, I'm emo anyways, grief is my companion (joking - you do do. It was fire though, I miss it dearly. Jimin was so sassy "Miss Thang" omg. Also poc rep ?? Yes).
HOWEVER. I did notice the delicious amount of DPR IAN discourse (my husband actually) AND that one post about Logic's Supermarket (i have yet to read it but the album is so slay. I actually like it better than some of his "official" stuff oop-). And I just kept thinking, damn, I love the vibes here, we're practically besties at this point.
So I guess here I am??? I don't even read that much BTS ff anymore BUT 👀 I'm all up for more Adorable Representative MCs For Youth content on my dash. We ball I suppose. I hope you have a nice day/week/ whatever 💜
HI I'M SORRY I'M FINALLY RESPONDING TO THIS !! i've been such a mess the past few days from work, so i wanted to make sure i gave myself time to actually respond to this ask properly since you were kind enough to send me such a lovely message!
you are correct, TFM is gone 😭 i deleted it from tumblr and AO3 because i was unhappy with my writing and where the story was going. i was excited for it, and then everything kinda fell apart. I'm sorry!! a lot of people got mad at me for that LMFAO, but i really grew to hate that series, and i figured it would be better to just delete it. i didn't delete the actual fic tho. like i have all my writing saved. i've considered rewriting it to be yoonmin instead of a reader-insert cuz i lowkey hate writing reader-inserts but i still do it for my tumblr followers hjsdfks but that is TBD
i'm glad you enjoyed it tho!! i think i got in my head over it idk. i love the idea and the characters (and FUCK YES diamond was my favorite character. we need queer poc representation in fics~ one thing about me is i'm gonna always give it if i can in a fic 😤) but yeah ! ANYWAY
DPR IAN. i'm gonna write a drabble for him, probably in February~ so i hope you enjoy it when i do!
AND OMG ok i need to read supermarket soon. we can do a book club lmfao. i will 1000% be your bestie, i mean, we're already there atp like you said. dm me whenever you want ok ok ok
i'm happy to be a bts ff dealer for you if you're ever in the mood for it 🙏🏽 I'm honestly on tumblr for the vibes and friends atp so nice people like you are why i stay 🥹 i hope you're doing well !!! you're so nice
ALSO yes i stalked your blog and 👀 sleep token 👀 tbh idk anything about them but i know some of their songs and i am very into it
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What's the plot of your fanfic? You posting it here? In dire need of some Mito smut p l e a s e
It will be a pretty short one of only a few chapters! Want to portray some normal collegestudents and how their lives bring them together. A lot of it is based on own or friends' experiences so a pretty realistic storyline I hope.
It won't be Mito but Christian sorryyy!
Am writing the drafts on Wattpad now but not sure yet whether to post it here as well.
#fanfiction#dpr#dream perfect regime#dpr ian#christian yu#mito#rome#will take a while to post tho cos am finishing up my masters thesis lol
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ateez masterlist:
note: this should be a given, but with any of my smuts, minors dni
fanfiction:
♤ 1024UB — nsfw; choi san
♤ daddy dearest — nsfw; choi san (aubs, jinnie collab)
♤ irresistible — nsfw; choi san
series:
♤ bsitd series: mingi, seonghwa, yeosang, yunho — smut
♤ flower garden — fluff, angst
♤ prof. series: yunho (pt. 1, pt. 2), san (pt. 1, pt. 2), yeosang, seonghwa — smut
♤ superstar series: seonghwa, san — smut
♤ trope — angst, smut
♤ trope pt. 2 — fluff, angst, smut
♤ what's it like to fall in love...? — fluff, smut
oneshots, headcanons, drabbles:
ot8:
♤ frat bros!ateez:
♤ sweetheart — smut (pt. 1)
♤ candy — smut (pt. 2)
♤ flower garden — fluff, angst
♤ making partner — smut
♤ trope — angst, smut
♤ trope pt. 2 — fluff, angst, smut
♤ what's it like to fall in love...? — fluff, smut
kim hongjoong:
♤ friends to lovers to strangers — angst, smut (trope series)
♤ the shoe on the other foot — smut
park seonghwa:
♤ assassin!seonghwa:
♤ dancing with the devil — smut, angst (pt. 1)
♤ succumbing to the angel — smut (pt. 2)
♤ sub!hwa/dominatrix!reader:
♤ safe word: evergreen — ivy — smut (pt. 1)
♤ being sensual in the dark — smut (bsitd series)
♤ first thing in the goddamn morning — smut (ft. san)
♤ going insane — smut (ft. dpr ian)
♤ jealousy isn't such a horrible sin — smut (ft. san)
♤ mesmerized by you — suggestive
♤ persistent desire — smut
♤ sun's out — smut
♤ superstar — smut (ssatz series)
♤ tragic ending — angst, smut (trope series)
♤ violet crazy form — smut (ft. dpr ian, mingi)
♤ you've got me speechless — smut (alt. san)
jeong yunho:
♤ prof!yunho:
♤ principia — smut (prof. series pt. 1)
♤ opticks — smut (prof. series pt. 2)
♤ bottle service — smut
♤ calm down — suggestive (500 event)
♤ dream in a dream — angst, smut
♤ in denial — smut
♤ let's get physical, physical — smut
♤ unrequited love — angst, smut (trope series)
kang yeosang:
♤ miscommunication — angst, smut (trope series)
♤ off limits — suggestive (500 event)
choi san:
♤tattoo!san:
♤ all tatted up — smut (pt. 1)
♤ all tatted up— back tattoo — smut (pt. 2)
♤ all tatted up— new tattoos — smut (pt. 3)
♤ absence makes the heart break — angst, smut
♤ do you remember? — smut
♤ first thing in the goddamn morning — smut (ft. seonghwa)
♤ forbidden love — angst, smut (trope series)
♤ good knight — smut (500 event)
♤ hoodie season — smut
♤ jealousy isn't such a horrible sin — smut (ft. seonghwa)
♤ knots — smut
♤ let's get physical, physical — smut
♤ prelude in e minor — smut (prof. series)
♤ shit, this is red too — smut
♤ superstar — smut (ssatz series)
♤ work trips don't have to be boring — smut
♤ "you'll never be alone" — angst
♤ you've got me speechless — smut (alt. seonghwa)
song mingi:
♤ being sensual in the dark — smut (bsitd series)
♤ betrayal — angst, smut (trope series)
♤ evidential — smut
♤ otp — smut (500 event)
♤ violet crazy form — smut (ft. dpr ian, seonghwa)
jung wooyoung:
♤ absence makes the heart break — angst, smut
♤ amnesia — angst, smut (trope series)
♤ freesia — fluff (flower garden series)
choi jongho:
♤ concrete bear — smut (smt, yaya collab)
♤ don't cross that line — smut
♤ no. 1 — smut (500 event)
♤ star-crossed lovers — angst, smut (trope series)
headcanons:
♤ sleeping? spooning? seonghwa? — seonghwa (fluff)
♤ experienced — yunho (smut)
♤ chest = pillow — san (fluff)
♤ mingi hard hours #1 — mingi (smut)
♤ tattoos and a lawyer? — mingi (suggestive)
♤ yungi hard hours #1 — yunho/mingi (smut)
♤ ateez hard hours #1 — ot8 (smut)
♤ ateez watching indian movies with you — ot8 (...fluff?)
drabbles:
♤ "hi, cutie" — san (suggestive)
♤ the best friend — wooyoung (suggestive)
♤ vulnerable jealousy — jongho (suggestive)
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I was tagged by @snug-gyu and @babycatlix to answer some questions <3
last song: So I Danced - DPR Ian
last movie: Disney Channel's Theme: A History Mystery - Defunctland on youtube (not techniaclly a movie but its an hour 40 so counts)
currently reading: other than fanfiction not much :-: unless you count all the degree work lol
currently watching: uhhhh Gen V when im in the mood or im rewatching Brooklyn 99 cos its v easy to turn my brain off to
current obsession: i don't really have one tbh, my life isnt really giving many openings to tthink about anything other than uni work :(
i will just tag a couple of people cos im not v online atm so no clue who has done it, @starryoong, @juiceofmoons, @missyedits, @ggthydrangea
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