#email me a better way to word this

[4nglerf1sh]

nikolai is the most non canonically bisexual canon bisexual to ever exist

#does this make sense. #email me a better way to word this #i’ll read it in about 10 days like the rest of my emails. #grishaverse #nikolai lanstov #nikolai lantsov #ok idk how to spell it next question

[lpsotd]

i'm honestly at a loss for words. i was expecting a straightforward "thank you for your email! i support israel and blahblahblah" not "thank you for supporting israel!" because i said no such thing ??? i sent a long detailed email expressing my disgust towards israel and saying i support palestine — the crazy part is that this response was sent twice, word for word

#palestine #i'm convinced these people in office have bots or something to respond to emails containing the words “palestine” “israel” and “hamas”. #why else would scott send me the same email twice lol. #i sent my emails over a month ago by the way #i'm just now getting a response and it's gross #i sent lindsay graham an email too #it was basically the same crap #i don't know what i expected #and i don't know what else to do #serious #i was honestly hoping for a better response from tim scott #because lindsay graham made me angry #but i already knew not to expect much from graham #ugh

[pinkspiraling]

i don’t even want to drink. i don’t even want to, i want to be sober so bad but why is it so hard and so fucking terrifying. at some point this isn’t fun tho it’s just painful and fucks up my brain all the time i’m tired of not remembering shit and of being sick all the time and being so out of it that i don’t remember to do a single fucking task and i’m tired of being depressed and i’m tired of being lonely and i’m tired of never leaving my bed and i’m tired of sleeping next to rotten food and not showering and not drinking water and not functioning and hating myself so much for everything i say and do. im just so tired of all of it i just want to be alright. why is it so hard to stop being this way

#and i hate that the most helpful options (which is rehab i think. i wish i didn’t need it but i think i do) are options that don’t feel #like actual options. not because of money but bc of my family and their reactions and judgements #it feels so unfair that the help i really need would require me to deal with so much criticism. i just want to be better #i just want to stop all of this so badly. i don’t want to do this anymore. my tummy hurts so much rn and all the time #i wanf people who understand and don’t hate me i want people who get that mental illness is HARD to cope with #it’s not easy it’s not simple and it is my responsibility for how i’ve chosen to cope. but also #it’s always been this way. it doesn’t feel like something i do on purpose. it just feels like an instinct #sigh. i want help i wish i could find help. i wish that therapist would email me back #pink’s word vomiting

[crowcryptid]

90% of hacking is scanning to see if someone misconfigured their security settings or if they’re using out of date software

9% is social engineering

And the last 1% is actually trying to find an exploit and write your own code (idk how to do this part yet)

#Friendly reminder to patch your software friends. Also. Don’t connect pc with an old OS to the internet. #It’s so funny it’s just like. *pokes you and sniffs finger* hmm yes you smell like windows 7 #*pokes again* I see you have these ports open. You’re probably using this software. #*pokes again* oh would you look at theres 5 FuckYouDie exploits discovered in 2013 that I can use #And then you just type some words to run a script someone smarter than you wrote and now you have access #It’s easier than you think. Just 1 mistake that reveals too much info can lead to a whole mess #Well the script writing part probably isn’t easy but idk I’m not a security researcher don’t ask me about that #I am just learning to hopefully get a better job #And I have come to the conclusion that the only way to be safe is to have 0 electronic devices lol #I mean the average person is ‘safe’ simply because it’s not profitable to target a complete nobody directly #the biggest threat to individual people are data breaches and scammers #and a lack of common sense. don’t download random files. don’t click links in emails. the usual

[unproduciblesmackdown]

that moment when: everyone's lives are restricted and constricted and these imposed consequences are attributed to anyone's continual individual failures to seek, find, and follow the Correct Path through Life, and so everyone is left on their own to only be seeking & finding these failures as well as the only answer to how their lives can be better....versus Not seeing the world as the free marketplace meritocracy of everyone's personal failures/successes, nor everything in your own life, and thus not forever having to scrutinize Where You Must Be Bringing It Upon Yourself by fucking up or at least failing to do the correct thing, and exist only in perpetual punishment for your ongoing failure and occasional temporary reprieves from it. recognizing everything that wasn't & isn't & wouldn't be [this is because you're bringing it upon yourself] and thus having more capacity & capability to look at the realm of your personal individual self, reality, experiences, life through the perpetual instances of seeking, finding, and following your own needs/wants through one's inherent personhood and exercises of autonomy and recognition of where & when & how one recognizes moments of their existing freely & in more resonant genuine alignment with themself, you know? endless examples to be found in endless fractals of [where & how are people's lives made smaller]. and that of course this doesn't preclude the ability/option at any time to question one's choices, since you'll be able to find more Actual choices available to you (and, also crucially, find more actual choices made by others that are in the pursuit of limiting Yours) to look at, and people getting to exercise their autonomy isn't the same as "everyone doing anything they want regardless of how it affects others" since that [how does it affect others?] element instead being Regarded would be able to lead to recognizing that, in fact, an effect might be the infringement on others' autonomy, hence: There's A Problem....like the ability to just go ham with [questioning???] anything in existence, certainly including oneself, b/c the "norm" is such that rather you're only supposed to be able to question yourself for your failings (or those positioned as less than, thus, beneath you) and not even have the language to express a questioning of aspects of life beyond that b/c stop calling anyone "cis" they're just Normal, Just Be Normal and it would all be fine

#brought to you by: i think one of my feelings lately of A Shift is in my less than ever running this like continuous background function of #looking for Thee Answer (just like the black suits) in any & everything that could serve as the Key to like. whatever could fit into place #to like set things on a [hell yeah. life? better] path. juxtaposing this recent sense of things with the [lol. in retrospect i Do see a new #context wherein i can Recognize smthing abt myself] past going on of like. granpa greentext story be me be fifteen i'm in college b/c i hat #school i also mostly assumed i'd probably fail out freshman yr but didn't. i've never known what i'd wanna major in & as a sophomore i'm de #supposed to figure it out in time for scheduling my jr yr classes (though Ideally have known from the start / been scheduling thusly) & so #many evenings during dinner i'm furiously perusing the daily print news as i've been doing for some yrs to Keep Up W/Current Events but now #also consciously like ''boy i hope in the course of doing this i stumble across some info that sparks some eureka moment of Getting what my #major should Obviously be so i can understand the rest of my life around [do job] b/c i sure as hell don't understand it around [be married #much less [be parent] so one option remains obvi'' whereas now i realize like lol you Were figuring out a guiding light in doing so & that #perspective being honed was one of Having A Political Analysis times....which also provides another Example of [only being able to interpre #what makes your life & your world the way it is: via Your Personal Failures to have already Had Better] in that just like i often forget i #misguidedly (but also reasonably; clearly also using & seeking that autonomy & freedom) tried to have a better existence within the #situation i was in by Coming Out As Trans to parents via an email that was then not directly discussed ever; b/c any legitimate discussion #was not permissible like how so many matters of [supposed correct existence] are Unspeakable so as to be Unquestionable #languaging that succeeds & sustains itself having to be expansive / flexible / creative / evolving too. Making Up Words hell yes #anyways so i also forget i Did try to propose majoring in things that Did more approach what i was suspecting were things i'd wanna do #but even the first like expression of anything on the periphery of that was met with ''no you'd hate it b/c you'd have to deal w/Stupid Ppl #every day'' (by which was meant; with believed inherent synonymity: poor people) & then i also will oft forget i pushed for it any further #which i Know i did b/c of it next being met with angry & aggressive ''i've never heard you talk abt that interest before So'' #(wonder why? withholding info to protect yourself=finding room in one's life for existing more freely; exercising the autonomy to Do That) #but it's easy to forget b/c The All Encompassing Perspective was rather [i'm sure Failing to just Know my major for the sole possibility fo #defining one's entire life: The Correct Dream Job] & then Failing to push it or just express it & be understood ''correctly'' even if i Did #have any ideas in that realm. vs seeing how i Was succeeding & was recognizing shit & pursuing it & looking out for myself & etccc #it's undeniable lol like the framing even that Blaming Oneself is an autonomy seeking response. b/c your autonomous power in your own life #sure Would be more immediate if Everything Really Was Your Fault (when ofc really this is abt obscuring & denying the responsibility of ppl #who have the power over others' lives & then have to act like this is all the fault of the Others; they themselves have never Truly Chosen) #no victim blaming no condemnation of anyone's ''passivity'' here babey #re: the undeniability it's how like. maybe you've only Just realized you're not cis but in doing so it's like ''oh That's what i already #recognizing in various ways throughout my whole life'' it's all always Been there/going on & perspex shifts + new lenses can reveal them

[fairywithgremlintendencies]

stranger things season 4 volume 2 comes out on friday so if you dont see me around much its bc im in full hyperfixation mode aksklsks

noted! have fun watching it! <3

#leaf asks #zeph my beloved <33 #i still need to bring down the word count of my social studies work #but i answered the questions i needed to answer #ik you wanted me to send them your way so i'll probably email them #also my teacher extended the due date for me bc im still not better >:) #it was gonna be due tomorrow but she's given me an extra week!

[yutadori]

woah... my friends care about me and love me? AND they believe in me and think i have potential?????

#like . i sort of knew these things but to have a friend SAY those words to me and for me to know that they #genuinely mean it is so . wowowowow #i was thinking about this the other day because i was talking to my other friend about how ive been emailing places my resume etc and not #getting any responses #and she said sometimes its better to go in person and hand them your resume #and i was like oh right ! ill do that #and she was like do you want me to go with you? i can drive you to a few places #AND I WAS JUST LIKE ??? SHOCK..... #because im always anxious about asking people for favors especially ones wherre they would have to go out of thwir way #esp when it comes to asking someone to drive me somewhere because im worried they would shame me and say #that im bothering them and that i should know how to drive so that i could drive myself #so for her to say THAT so easily and casually like it was no big deal . was so woah #it was such a validating moment of relief to know that . i wouldnt be bothering her . especially since shes the one who offered #whoa... the power of friendship and love is so crazy.... #sun texts

[forallthepjostuff]

Hey! I've noticed you reblogging chapters one and two of my Covered in Storms, Surrounded by Eyes fic! Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy it, but I wanted to let you know that I am in the process of rewriting it on ao3. There's the link, I'd appreciate it if you checked it out, because I think my writing has improved in terms of characterization and pretty much all around. Again, tysm for taking interest in this fic, it's one of my favorites and I'm excited for the directions it will take in the future.

Hi!

It's already in my bookmarks on ao3 😅 I came across it on there first, and then got excited when I saw that it was a rewrite and that the first few chapters from before you rewrote it were still up, because I love seeing how people's writing style develop and gets more unique over time. I've never seen a fic like it, I've seen ones where another god or goddess claims Percy, but never one where that goddess is Kymopoleia, and I'm really excited to see where it goes.

Also, I like all the ocs you're adding to it. I know liking someone adding ocs in a fanfiction might not be the most popular thing in the world, but you're doing it in a way that adds to the story; to me it's really making Camp Half-Blood seem like a more grounded place, like it's real, with real people who have real personalities, instead of just a setting with extras, which is how I've felt a lot while reading fanfiction.

I might not be 100% explaining this correctly, but it kind of reminds me of how in my small town (3,000 people), everyone knows everyone else's stories, either by hearing it themselves or through whispered gossip. And how sometimes they're nice, but can flip on you in a second if something they perceive as the wrong information comes to light.

Also, I really love how everyone's mentioning stuff that, as the reader, you have no idea about. Because we're going on that learning curve with Percy and finding these things out at the same time as him, it reminds me of how when you're young in a family and no one tells you any family drama stories, because they see no need to or you were too young and nobody mentions it anymore, so once in a while they kinda just offhandedly make a comment about the craziest batshit stories and it's up to you to just go 'hey a crumb of context please?'

So, yeah. I'm really, really interested in seeing the direction it goes in.

#it's a good thing i decided to check my email #because i was practically so deep in your tumblr page that i 100% would've and have before kept looking through it all night #/joke. but also not really #seriously though i'm really excited to see what you decide to do with it because i really love it #tbh it's probably already up there with fishing in alaska by caffeinatedflumadiddle as one of my favorite pjo stories #also sorry for just kind of rambling here but i really am excited to about this story #i know this kind of became jumbled nonsense near the end but that's because this is a great story #and trying to put all my thoughts about it into words isn't working bc my thoughts are kind of just jumbled nonsense too right now #my brain's literally working too fast for words when it comes to everything i like about this story--the one on here and the rewrite on ao3 #because i feel like the one on here focuses more on the ocs development but that the rewrite definitely focuses more on the plot #love the more detail and plot centered writing on there by the way #it gives the story more depth and explains the situations better while still having the character development #and still having that sense of drilling 'these big three kids are dangerous and that's why we're afraid of them' into your head #while also making you realize why all the campers are so biased against big three kids and hate them but also panic at the thought of them #i absolutely have more that i can't think of right now because i type so slow i lose the thought before i can make it into words #...bet when you sent this ask you didn't expect to get a fucking behemoth that took an hour and a half to type did you #hope you like it anyway #also i recently experienced a moment like the one in the last paragraph #where my niece (six years younger than me) was complaining about how there's no drama in our family & i got to go 'oh? haven't you heard?' #it was really fun actually #and satisfying to do after being on the recieving end for so many years

[your-local-granny]

.

#Yknow when you feel so sad you feel like throwing up ?? Yeah :( #idk man it’s sooo fucking annoying like I would not be feeling this way if I was fucking consulted. Like a few phone calls. An email maybe #it wouldn’t’ve been hard!!!!!!!!! #its just so sad like no one thinks about anything people keep puttting words in my mouth #most importantly people keep being disrespectful of my time and my desires!!!! Like shit dude maybe what I want matters!!! #normally I wouldn’t say that but like. If you’d have given me a choice I would’ve had some fuckibg things to say!!!!!!!! #and it doesn’t help that my lesson didn’t go well I know that’s separate but it just makes everything feel so impossible huhhhhhhhh #ITS NOT!!! It will be fine I’ve been through far worse this is like. The most normal thing I’ve ever been upset about #but it doesn’t make it not suck :(((( #I wish I could take a break without being punished hhhhh but tragically it’s finals!!! And jury prep!!! So I guess I’ll die!!! #idk maybe it’ll all be better tomorrow who knows #I think I will make pasta for school tmrw… that will help #ALSO IF YOU KNOW ME IRL I PROMMY IM OKAY I SWEAR ITS FINE MY TEACHERS R JUST PISSING ME OFF #Portal of rambling

[radioactive-earthshine]

Writing tips for long fics that helped me that no one asked for.

1.) Don't actually delete content from your WIP unless it is minor editing - instead cut it and put it in a secondary document. If you're omitting paragraphs of content, dialog, a whole scene you might find a better place for it later and having it readily available can really save time. Sometimes your idea was fantastic, but it just wasn't in the right spot.

2.) Stuck with wording the action? Just write the dialog then revisit it later.

3.) Stuck on the whole scene? Skip it and write the next one.

4.) Write on literally any other color than a white background. It just works. (I use black)

5.) If you have a beta, while they are beta-ing have them read your fic out loud. Yes, I know a lot of betas/writers do not have the luxury of face-timing or have the opportunity to do this due to time constraints etc but reading your fic out loud can catch some very awkward phrasing that otherwise might be missed. If you don't have a beta, you read it out loud to yourself. Throw some passion into your dialog, you might find a better way to word it if it sounds stuffy or weird.

6.) The moment you have an idea, write it down. If you don't have paper or a pen, EMAIL it to yourself or put it in a draft etc etc. I have sent myself dozens of ideas while laying down before sleep that I 10/10 forgot the next morning but had emailed them to myself and got to implement them.

7.) Remember - hits/likes/kudos/comments are not reflective of the quality of your fic or your ability to write. Most people just don't comment - even if they say they do, they don't, even if they preach all day about commenting, they don't, even if they are a very popular blog that passionately reminds people to comment - they don't comment (I know this personally). Even if your fic brought tears to their eyes and it haunted them for weeks and they printed it out and sent it to their friends they just don't comment. You just have to accept it. That being said - comment on the fic you're reading now, just do it, if you're 'shy' and that's why you don't comment the more you comment the better you'll get at it. Just do it.

8.) Remove unrealistic daily word count goals from your routine. I've seen people stress 1500 - 2000 words a day and if they don't reach that they feel like a failure and they get discouraged. This is ridiculous. Write when you can, but remove absurd goals. My average is 500 words a day in combination with a 40 hour a week job and I have written over 200k words from 2022-2023.

9.) There are dozens of ways to do an outline from precise analytical deconstruction that goes scene by scene to the minimalist bullet point list - it doesn't matter which one you use just have some sort of direction. A partial outline is better than no outline.

10.) Write for yourself, not for others. Write the fic you know no one is going to read. Write the fic that sounds ridiculous. You will be so happy you put it out in the world and there will be people who will be glad it exists.

#writing tips #writing advice #writing tools #writing help #writing resources

[medicinemane]

You know, it bothers me the way it seems like people have totally forgot about Iranians... thought we were all on the same page, wasn't it... women, life, freedom? (I legit don't remember, but the reason for that is it wasn't my slogan to say. Maybe it sounds strange, but that's how I felt, so I never actually wrote it, which makes it harder to remember)

Just feels like for a brief window there we were all talking big talk about supporting them, but then it all kinda dried up

I'll be totally transparent about one of the reasons this keeps coming up for me, russia is a major ally of Iran, Iran supplies the kamikaze drones russia hits civilians with... you know they're not giving them away for free... I worry what the Iranian government uses anything it gets to do... I don't really hear anything from Iranians anymore (though once again I fully admit that most of what I was hearing was second hand, I never had found an Iranian to directly follow... I don't know if anyone's still talking)

I just... I legit worry that people talk a big game about Gaza right now, but will they in a year?

I'm frustrated because a lot of the support people and causes around the world get seems like it's almost more self masturbatory than anything real... sure, everyone really well and truly means it, but then they get bored and it's on to a new cause

So I worry the support will be fleeting... and I see some people really getting down in the mud in ways... well, I'm not a people keeper, I don't get to tell people what to do, but I wouldn't be very pleased if I was acting the way I see some people act and my real point is I worry they're doing all this shit and they're not even gonna stick it out with the cause... seen people get bored and dip to many times to trust it

I'm not perfect... I have a shit memory a lot of the time, and I got a lot on my mind, but I still remember Hong Kong... at least sometimes... even looked into it from time to time and the news never looks good

I remember the Uyghurs, though my shit spelling always makes me look it back up. I think about Syria and how forgotten they are. I do actually still keep up with Ukraine... and then I see connections between russia and Iran and assad and...

I don't know... this stuff eats a me a little... not a lot, not more than the helplessness we all feel about bad things beyond our control usually does... I just worry about people, how they act with shit

Worry that you roll around in the mud too long it starts getting hard to wash off, and I worry that people sometimes get in the mud less cause they're trying to help anything and more cause sometimes it feels good to have an excuse to get dirty... righteous anger that makes any behavior permissible

I don't talk about current events that are on everyone's radar nonstop cause I don't want to burn support out by just overloading people with horror... but I generally find murdering innocent people to be a bad thing, so yeah... I want to see a fucking ceasefire already

Don't talk about it, but I actually do care quite a bit... and I worry... I worry that it'll be forgotten the second the news cycle moves on like everything else is

Worry that every bit of vile behavior I've seen that was for high minded goals will turn out to be dropped in an instant...

Almost like that's not a bug, that's just the point

#sorry; no reblogs for this one... I'm not letting someone 5 reblogs outside my sphere start going on about something insane #I don't like talking politics and I don't like talking discourse #both to keep things civil and cause frankly I don't need the stress of arguing with people online #not when I don't think it'll be a good faith conversation; when I don't think it's a disagreement in how to make things better #just that I need to totally agree with everything they say; and really they just like arguing #but certain things eat at me... the way people act eats at me #and seriously; I mean every word; it eats at me every time I think about how forgotten this stuff seems #I think people meant their support; but where is it now? #I don't think I've seen Iran mentioned in like a year #I don't know how to help... believe me; if I could play Captain America and save the day I would #if I could give Iranians the freedom they asked for I would in a heartbeat #I don't know how... not like congress listens to me or I'd change a lot #kill that kosa bill or whatever the horrible acronym is... sent one of those auto email things about it but.. just one voice #lot I'd change... wish I had energy to do more #you know; friend of mine often talks about this group in Iraq that's faced a lot of genocide; she's American but she's worked with them #love if I could do more to help there too... reblog when she says stuff though I know we all have limited bandwidth #I don't know... it bothers me though... it's like we're led around by the nose when the news cycle changes #not saying not to care about what's happening now; but when the other stuff didn't stop happening... #and then there's the fact that frankly even people I like a great deal; absolutely adore... #I see them... slipping... getting into some nasty behavior... and I worry #but I doubt they'd listen much... the times I try to nudge don't seem to get much results #and if someone won't listen pushing harder does nothing #...who's to say I even know a thing? that my morality isn't broken in ways I can't see? #but I worry... I worry about people... I worry how easy it is to manipulate good and smart people I know #and I worry about everyone that we seem to keep forgetting #worry a whole lot; a lot of the time... about policy and international relations and about who we're choosing to be as people #but would you believe this is just background stuff for my depression? #this is just the seasoning for why I should blow my brains out; it's rarely why I say I should #in spite of all that worry it's not even the main thing that makes me want to die... just stuff I can gesture to and be like... that too #I'm tired... wish I could... wish I could tell the people I see slipping to grow up... to step up... but I don't think I can

[exopelagic]

ice hokcey

#I am not about to let tumblr get the better of me. #but yeah like I wanna try the ice hockey team but I’m already running a different club and I don’t think I could do 4 days a week #of really late nights/really early mornings playing ice hockey AND still function #so that sucks but I mean I guess there’s next year if I do wanna give it a go bc I’ll be less busy #anyway I bet you can’t guess how much sleep I got last night :) #it was my last submission of the year so I’m okay until I have the presentation for it next week but it’s all less intense #and I can kinda breathe now #shit I should send the email #I’m so bad at endings #I can’t do endings #the secret is that it doesn’t end but everything is ending all the time #there isn’t some big world shattering thing that happens and then that’s it you still have to go home and do the washing up #and right now that feels pretty bad too but there will be other things in there and then that’ll end too #and I’ll be doing the washing up somewhere else #see this is what endings do to me I start talking like this #normally this is around the time I go on ao3 and try to find someone who’s written abt william jacob poindexter #and put these feelings into words but I haven’t found it yet #I’m not ready to go home and the easiest way to deal with that is to decide not to feel it but I am. so bored of that #same little dance every time #it’s so annoying bc I have no choice. I have to go home. so feeling like this does nothing for me and makes things worse in every way #but it’s worth feeling in itself anyway it still means something #summer is going to be long and hard and I’ll come back to uni and it’ll be long and hard when is it meant to stop #and I’ve been feeling like this for years and it’s gotten slightly better but it’s still here and I don’t know if I’m just going to have to #learn how to be okay with slightly better #and I know it feels like this bc I literally can’t imagine what my life will look like 2 years from now #but I don’t know what to do with this rn #but hey I mean I got my little bit of crying now so #if you’ve read all this ily <3 #this is the sort of feeling that makes other people cut off all their hair to try feel some control over #but it just curls into that little ball in my stomach

[emberwhite]

I spent the last 11 months working with my illustrator, Marta, to make the children's book of my dreams. We were able to get every detail just the way I wanted, and I'm very happy with the final result. She is the best person I have ever worked with, and I mean, just look at those colors!

I wanted to tell that story of anyone's who ever felt that they didn't belong anywhere. Whether you are a nerd, autistic, queer, trans, a furry, or some combination of the above, it makes for a sad and difficult life. This isn't just my story. This is our story.

I also want to say the month following the book's launch has been very stressful. I have never done this kind of book before, and I didn't know how to get the word out about it. I do have a small publishing business and a full-time job, so I figured let's put my some money into advertising this time. Indie writers will tell you great success stories they've had using Facebook ads, so I started a page and boosting my posts.

Within a first few days, I got a lot of likes and shares and even a few people who requested the book and left great reviews for me. There were also people memeing on how the boy turns into a delicious venison steak at the end of the book. It was all in good fun, though. It honestly made made laugh. Things were great, so I made more posts and increased spending.

But somehow, someway these new posts ended up on the wrong side of the platform. Soon, we saw claims of how the book was perpetuating mental illness, of how this book goes against all of basic biology and logic, and how the lgbtq agenda was corrupting our kids.

This brought out even more people to support the book, so I just let them at it and enjoyed my time reading comments after work. A few days later, then conversation moved from politics to encouraging bullying, accusing others of abusing children, and a competition to who could post the most cruel image. They were just comments, however, and after all, people were still supporting the book.

But then the trolls started organizing. Over night, I got hit with 3 one-star reviews on Amazon. My heart stopped. If your book ever falls below a certain rating, it can be removed, and blocked, and you can receive a strike on your publishing account. All that hard work was about to be deleted, and it was all my fault for posting it in the wrong place.

I panicked, pulled all my posts, and went into hiding, hoping things would die down. I reported the reviews and so did many others, but here's the thing you might have noticed across platforms like Google and Amazon. There are community guidelines that I referenced in my email, but unless people are doing something highly illegal, things are rarely ever taken down on these massive platforms. So those reviews are still there to this day. Once again, it's my fault, and I should have seen it coming.

Luckily, the harassment stopped, and the book is doing better now, at least in the US. The overall rating is still rickety in Europe, Canada, and Australia, so any reviews there help me out quite a lot. I'm currently looking for a new home to post about the book and talk about everything that went into it. I also love to talk about all things books if you ever want to chat. Maybe I'll post a selfie one day, too. Otherwise, the book is still on Amazon, and the full story and illustrations are on YouTube as well if you want to read it for free.

#books #reading #childrens books #lgbtq #lgbtqia #autism #transgender #furry #therian #art #deer #queer #artists on tumblr #creativity #illustration

[rachel-614]

Okay, let me tell you a story:

Once upon a time, there was a prose translation of the Pearl Poet’s Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. It was wonderfully charming and lyrical and perfect for use in a high school, and so a clever English teacher (as one did in the 70s) made a scan of the book for her students, saved it as a pdf, and printed copies off for her students every year. In true teacher tradition, she shared the file with her colleagues, and so for many years the students of the high school all studied Sir Gawain and the Green Knight from the same (very badly scanned) version of this wonderful prose translation.

In time, a new teacher became head of the English Department, and while he agreed that the prose translation was very wonderful he felt that the quality of the scan was much less so. Also in true teacher tradition, he then spent hours typing up the scan into a word processor, with a few typos here and there and a few places where he was genuinely just guessing wildly at what the scan actually said. This completed word document was much cleaner and easier for the students to read, and so of course he shared it with his colleagues, including his very new wide-eyed faculty member who was teaching British Literature for the first time (this was me).

As teachers sometimes do, he moved on for greener (ie, better paying) pastures, leaving behind the word document, but not the original pdf scan. This of course meant that as I was attempting to verify whether a weird word was a typo or a genuine artifact of the original translation, I had no other version to compare it to. Being a good card-holding gen zillenial I of course turned to google, making good use of the super secret plagiarism-checking teacher technique “Quotation Marks”, with an astonishing result:

By which I mean literally one result.

For my purposes, this was precisely what I needed: a very clean and crisp scan that allowed me to make corrections to my typed edition: a happily ever after, amen.

But beware, for deep within my soul a terrible Monster was stirring. Bane of procrastinators everywhere, my Curiosity had found a likely looking rabbit hole. See, this wonderfully clear and crisp scan was lacking in two rather important pieces of identifying information: the title of the book from which the scan was taken, and the name of the translator. The only identifying features were the section title “Precursors” (and no, that is not the title of the book, believe me I looked) and this little leaf-like motif by the page numbers:

(Remember the leaf. This will be important later.)

We shall not dwell at length on the hours of internet research that ensued—how the sun slowly dipped behind the horizon, grading abandoned in shadows half-lit by the the blue glow of the computer screen—how google search after search racked up, until an email warning of “unusual activity on your account” flashed into momentary existence before being consigned immediately and with some prejudice to the digital void—how one third of the way through a “comprehensive but not exhaustive” list of Sir Gawain translators despair crept in until I was left in utter darkness, screen black and eyes staring dully at the wall.

Above all, let us not admit to the fact that such an afternoon occurred not once, not twice, but three times.

Suffice to say, many hours had been spent in fruitless pursuit before a new thought crept in: if this book was so mysterious, so obscure as to defeat the modern search engine, perhaps the answer lay not in the technologies of today, but the wisdom of the past. Fingers trembling, I pulled up the last blast email that had been sent to current and former faculty and staff, and began to compose an email to the timeless and indomitable woman who had taught English to me when I was a student, and who had, after nearly fifty years, retired from teaching just before I returned to my alma mater.

After staring at the email for approximately five or so minutes, I winced, pressed send, and let my plea sail out into the void. I cannot adequately describe for you the instinctive reverence I possess towards this teacher; suffice to say that Ms English was and is a woman of remarkable character, as much a legend as an institution as a woman of flesh and blood whose enduring influence inspired countless students. There is not a student taught by Ms. English who does not have a story to tell about her, and her decline in her last years of teaching and eventual retirement in the face of COVID was the end of an era. She still remembers me, and every couple months one of her contemporaries and dear friends who still works as a guidance counsellor stops me in the hall to tell me that Ms. English says hello and that she is thrilled that I am teaching here—thrilled that I am teaching honors students—thrilled that I am now teaching the AP students. “Tell her I said hello back,” I always say, and smile.

Ms. English is a legend, and one does not expect legends to respond to you immediately. Who knows when a woman of her generation would next think to check her email? Who knows if she would remember?

The day after I sent the email I got this response:

My friends, I was shaken. I was stunned. Imagine asking God a question and he turns to you and says, “Hold on one moment, let me check with my predecessor.”

The idea that even Ms. English had inherited this mysterious translation had never even occurred to me as a possibility, not when Ms. English had been a faculty member since the early days of the school. How wonderful, I thought to myself. What a great thing, that this translation is so obscure and mysterious that it defeats even Ms. English.

A few days later, Ms. English emailed me again:

(I had, in fact searched through both the English office and the Annex—a dark, weirdly shaped concrete storage area containing a great deal of dust and many aging copies of various books—a few days prior. I had no luck, sadly.)

At last, though, I had a title and a description! I returned to my internet search, only to find to my dismay that there was no book that exactly matched the title. I found THE BRITISH TRADITION: POETRY, PROSE, AND DRAMA (which was not black and the table of contents I found did not include Sir Gawain) and THE ENGLISH TRADITION, a super early edition of the Prentice Hall textbooks we use today, which did have a black cover but there were absolutely zero images I could find of the table of contents or the interior and so I had no way of determining if it was the correct book short of laying out an unfortunate amount of cold hard cash for a potential dead end.

So I sighed, and relinquished my dreams of solving the mystery. Perhaps someday 30 years from now, I thought, I’ll be wandering through one of those mysterious bookshops filled with out of print books and I’ll pick up a book and there will be the translation, found out last!

So I sighed, and told the whole story to my colleagues for a laugh. I sent screenshots of Ms. English’s emails to my siblings who were also taught by her. I told the story to my Dad over dinner as my Great Adventure of the Week.

…my friends. I come by my rabbit-hole curiosity honestly, but my Dad is of a different generation of computer literacy and knows a few Deep Secrets that I have never learned. He asked me the title that Ms. English gave me, pulled up some mysterious catalogue site, and within ten minutes found a title card. There are apparently two copies available in libraries worldwide, one in Philadelphia and the other in British Columbia. I said, “sure, Dad,” and went upstairs. He texted me a link. Rolling my eyes, I opened it and looked at the description.

Huh, I thought. Four volumes, just like Ms. English said. I wonder…

Armed with a slightly different title and a publisher, I looked up “The English Tradition: Fiction macmillan” and the first entry is an eBay sale that had picture of the interior and LO AND BEHOLD:

THE LEAF. LOOK AT THE LEAF.

My dad found it! He found the book!!

Except for one teensy tiny problem which is that the cover of the book is uh a very bright green and not at all black like Ms. English said. Alas, it was a case of mistaken identity, because The English Tradition: Poetry does have a black cover, although it is the fiction volume which contains Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

And so having found the book at last, I have decided to purchase it for the sum of $8, that ever after the origins of this translation may once more be known.

In this year of 2022 this adventure took place, as this post bears witness, the end, amen.

(Edit: See here for part 2!)

#sir gawain and the green knight #translations #internet research #english literature #teaching things #dads are the best #long post #story telling #I STILL don’t know the name of the translator but I WILL find out #obscure books

[sonicenvy]

there is a new scourge on AO3 that I discovered recently...

that scourge is "Placeholder fics". This is thing, where someone posts a "fic" on AO3 with a summary and tags (and sometimes even a complete tag), but when you click on the "fic" the content of the "fic" is something like:

"coming soon" or "in progress" or "an idea I'll write someday"

This is a scourge on AO3 tags that directly violates TOS Section IV, as it is spam (sect B) and inappropriate content (sect H) (not, strictly speaking a fanwork).

If you see these "placeholder fics" on AO3 REPORT THEM. It is easy to do.

Link the fic in report and in the description, you can write something like this:

The linked "fic" is a so-called "placeholder fic" where the author posts a work to a tag and the only content is the words "In progress". The "fic" appears in tags, yet contains no content, so I would consider it to be spam. Thank you!

(This, btw is the actual thing that I wrote to report one of these a few weeks ago)

If you want to get jazzy you can even mention that you believe the "fic" violates TOS IV.H (which is what the AO3 mod told me in the email response to my report) or TOS IV.B.

You can report anonymously if you want afaik. Once you submit a report the AO3 moderators will get back to you at some point to update you on that report and action taken.

This is a simple way that YOU can make AO3 better today. If you see a "fic" that violates TOS in any way, REPORT IT. There are literally millions of fics on AO3 and the moderators can't possibly go through all of them without YOUR help.

I suspect that the people who are posting these "placeholder fics" are probably very young people who are very new to fandom and fanfiction and do not know better. If you are reading this post, and you are one of these people, know that I don't hate you, I just want you to know that what you are doing is a violation of the AO3 TOS and that it fills AO3 tags with spam, preventing readers from finding actual fic to read. There can be (and certainly are) MANY fics on AO3 with the SAME names, if that's what is motivating this.

AO3 isn't a social media site, it's an ARCHIVE for fanfiction. If you want to communicate with your following that you are planning on writing a new fic, use your tumblr, your reddit, your dreamwidth, your substack, your pillowfort, your livejournal, your bird site or whatever the fuck you have to do this. Link your socials in your bio on AO3 if you must. Mention it in the author's notes on your latest work. IDK, just don't post empty "fics" on the ARCHIVE.

#AO3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #fandom #fandumb #writing #margaret babbles #whining #followers please share this so that we can work together to rid AO3 of this scourge

[moondirti]

featuring: ghoap x nanny! f!reader. parenthood. adoption processes. fluff. slice of life. reader is given an age range

hear me out: simon and johnny transferring to reserve duty – i.e., serving the military on a part-time basis rather than being on active call – once they make the decision to become dads. it comes after a long period of deliberation (and healing on simon's part), but after they're absolutely sure that they want to start this next phase of life together, they call price to get it sorted.

who is thrilled for them, naturally, but warns that they still have a specialised commitment to the task force. if he needs them, then they best make sure they're there. the world isn't a better place yet, and no one can do what the pair does.

fine by them.

so it begins. instead of the complex and ethical choices that come with surrogacy, they opt for adoption and work with an attorney to facilitate the logistics. months of searching come up with a young mother, whose unwanted pregnancy has interfered with her life thus far, and is unwilling to make the further sacrifice that comes with keeping the baby. they must be more understanding, or otherwise less overbearing, than the other candidates – because two months later, they're in a hospital waiting room, anxiously lingering to meet the new addition to their family.

isla riley-mactavish. named after the river where johnny realised he'd be much happier with his lieutenant by his side.

the first few months are bliss. exhausting bliss, but a type of contentment that neither man has known since they first confessed to one another. isla's fussy through nights but they take turns settling her down, and if they have military duties to attend to then it's usually never at the same time. she's spoiled rotten – not just by them, but by the captain and gaz as well, who visit more often than not with bags full of toys they have nowhere to put. a little princess in the eyes of everyone who knows her.

by month five, she's teething and can hold her head up unsupported. simon reads somewhere that it's one of the most pivotal points in her development.

of course the call has to come then.

in the middle of the night, no less, and loud enough to wake her up from her crib. johnny scrambles to calm the bairn down as simon answers, price's grave voice crackling in from the other end. expected to be a long haul. a month at least. state security's at serious risk here, simon. i wouldn't ask you to come out otherwise.

and they made a promise. no matter how much it aches them to leave their darling girl behind.

rdv on base in a week.

he knows that one week is a matter of grace. he can feel the captain itching to hatch the operation as soon as possible, but has staved off to give the boys time to order their affairs. that doesn't mean simon's happy with the timeline, though. seven days is not nearly enough to find a sitter they can trust, especially given their own hindrances.

regardless, they send a job posting for a live-in, 24/7 nanny to close friends – no way in hell are they advertising it to the open internet – and hours later, johnny's sister lets them know of a girl who substitutes at the same primary school she works at. a real darling, apparently. honest 'n' stowed oot of energy, th' weans love her, and she haes experience with bairns too!

promising, but word of mouth isn't enough. they get a name and ask laswell to run a thorough background check. to their relief, it comes out squeaky clean. no arrests, no dui's, no shady travel history. modest socials with only a handful of followers. it's in line with what they know so far, solid enough to encourage them to reach out. so they do: just a brief email, asking what time and place would be best for a face-to-face interview.

they bring isla with them to the agreed meeting spot. a cozy cafe nestled in one of the safest parts of town. it's an early saturday morning and they're scheduled to leave in three days. so far, they've put all their eggs in this basket. johnny has to hold onto simon's hand when he notices the nerves dancing behind his partners usually void eyes. but if he were being honest with himself, he's just as scared.

they notice you as soon as they walk in.

sitting at a table for four, mug of coffee steaming as you bend over a well-loved book. despite your preoccupation, you're observant – they inch in your periphery and your head snaps up, a brilliant smile parting your lips as you spring up onto your feet. simon tallies a point on the ledger in his head. good. alert is good.

as is true for them, it's abundantly clear that you're who they're supposed to meet. johnny can't imagine anyone but a children's educator dressing like that: a gingham babydoll dress over a pair of blue tights, which carries over to the bow in your hair and is juxtaposed by the white oxford lace-ups on your feet. he startles when you extend your hand to shake his and he finds a painted fruit on each of your short nails. positively adorable. and so unlike anything they know.

simon shuffles next to him. isla reaches out from her bugaboo stroller, the colours having caught her eye.

"well hello there! aren't you just the cutest angel i've ever seen? do you like my dress?"

that's another point for immediately engaging with the object of your soon-to-be care. simon watches as you pull out a rattle from your purse, handing it over to the cooing baby. warmth blossoms in his chest, and his apprehension fizzles out in the heat. they hadn't told you they'd be bringing isla – opting to catch you off guard and seeing how you'd deal – so he assumes you carry the toy around for emergency purposes, like anyone else of their ilk would carry a gun.

something about that quirk just screams safe.

"it is a nice dress." johnny pursues, voice smooth in that way it gets when he's flirting but doesn't want it made clear. it took weeks for ghost to attune himself to it – he always just thought the scot spoke like that – but now that he's able to hear it for what it is, he shoots him a cautionary look. not so much mad as he is cautious. wouldn't want to scare her off.

"oh! thank you very much. it's my grandmother's design." you straighten up once isla gains a proper grip on the rattle, patting the skirt like you're basking in the praise. "shall we sit? i assume you have a lot to discuss, and i promise you'll want to try the maple scones they make here."

"please. after you." simon nods.

an hour later, you're giggling into your palm as johnny deviates into a story of the time they took isla to the hospital because they didn't know the soft spot on her head could pulse. simon is quiet in contrast, though not displeased. rather, he's focused on keeping the tally of all the green flags you've exhibited thus far. he doesn't mind that the conversation hasn't followed a typical interview format. in fact, people are more likely to show their true nature when in relaxed settings such as this, which is perhaps why johnny hasn't stuck to the script of questions they'd prepared beforehand. the man is better at social manoeuvring than simon is, anyway. he trusts him to direct this where it needs to go.

"it can be freaky! especially if you've never been around a child that young. i had a similar reaction the first time i babysat my neighbour's infant at sixteen. did you know that they can break out like teenagers? i noticed the poor thing's skin erupt in acne at just a month old and called his parent's crying." you wheeze, wiping the tears along your lashline.

"have ye worked wi' many bairns?"

"oh, yeah. it's been my primary source of income since secondary, all the way through uni. i just finished a master's degree in early childhood education, actually! and i wrote a list of referrals you can call if you need to double check on any of that." you rummage through your purse and pull out an apple-shaped sticky note. "do you mind if i ask what you do? people don't usually look for a full-time nanny unless they're really busy. not that i'm judging! i would ne–"

"military." simon interrupts, ensuring his tone is gentle enough to reassure.

"that makes sense! i mean, for an indefinite amount of time, the pay you're offering is more than perfect. above industry standard, really." you pause, brows furrowing like you're doubting whether you should have said that. "ah– whatever. anyway. isla is wonderful, just the sweetest. and the provided accommodation is an added plus. if you guys have no other qualms, then i'd love to accept the position."

"does i' bother you that there are cameras on the property? porch, kitchen, and living room. jus' for security's sake." simon tests, though he knows he doesn't need to, for extra measure. to someone with bad intentions, CCTV is a massive dealbreaker.

you don't hesitate before answering. "makes total sense! you guys are well within your right to check in at any time."

and they don't have to consult each other to know. johnny is practically buzzing in his seat, muscles flexed with enthusiasm as his gaze flits all over you. lingering on your chest in particular, before he looks over to simon and smiles in an offensively handsome way. simon can't help but smile back, crinkling his eyes more than necessary so the both of you can tell what's going on behind his mask.

it feels a little too good to be true, hopeful in a way that sets off the alarm bells in his head. he's stable enough to recognise that it isn't your fault, though. stable enough not to pin his distrust on you. this is likely the best shot they've got at ensuring their daughter's safety while they're away, and it's come in the form of a vivid, bright little blessing.

(with great tits.)

he'd be a fool to sabotage it.

johnny beats him to the cause. "ye'r hired."

[ next ]

#fashion wise im pulling from 'new girl' jess and 'me before you' louisa iykyk #as always my shit ends up way too long #fic ༄ miss magic #ghoap x reader #simon ghost riley x reader x johnny soap mactavish #simon ghost riley x johnny soap mactavish #ghoap #simon riley #john mactavish #ghost #soap #x female reader #x reader