#everything is so scary all the time

[rabbitmotifs]

just sent emails to ask 2 of my professors to write me recommendations for my masters application

#hhhrrrghh uhghh gih #eevery time i do something formal that May Impact My Life i feel sick #everything is so scary all the time #and im not even doing anything worthwhile. thats probably the funniest part

[nickyandmikey]

what if. what if i dropped out wait who said that

#ladies i'm miserable but kind of know what i want now. just wish i was where my friends are who are getting their degrees next semester #everything is so scary all the time

[turtleblogatlast]

Big Mama must have lost some serious standing in the yokai underworld because it’s gotten apparent that she keeps being beaten by a small group of teenagers and the occasional rat man, and when it’s not them then she’s taking L’s from her own schemes working against her.

And in the ensuing power vacuum, the Hamatos accidentally become the most feared crime family known to all the big bads of the Hidden City.

After all, they’ve publicly outplayed Big Mama multiple times, a couple of them have taken out the heads of two of the most well known criminal organizations, one took out Heinous Green, two are responsible for the destruction of Witch Town, they have ties to both the infamous Baron Draxum and Captain Piel, they won the Doom Dome death race, they’re Battle Nexus Champions, they’ve displayed insane feats of power and defeated impossibly strong enemies, most of them have been to jail, and they regularly mingle with humans.

You can just imagine the notoriety they’d accumulate from word of mouth alone.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise of the tmnt #I didn’t even list everything the Hamatos are MENACES #it’s so funny #bonus if none of the Hamatos realize how terrifying their presence in the Hidden City has become #every time Leo goes to bother Hueso the guy just has his head in his hands like Pepino…I JUST got my brother out of crime…and now you???’ #Leo’s just like ‘lmao what crime’ #meanwhile a trail of destruction follows them wherever they go #just look at the library smh #the small time yokai villains hearing about how scary the fam is and having two different reactions #one being no way are we talking about the same babies tripping over themselves and barely beating anyone #the other is oh god I barely escaped with my LIFE huh #sunita listening to all the worry her parents have about this new ‘Hamato Family’ and laughing inside #she tells April and April keeps it a secret to see how long it takes the others to realize it #when accused of crime Donnie accidentally and largely unprompted starts denying his digital asset thefts and then has to deny he denied it #when he learns of what is thought of them Raph has a crisis the poor boy #Mikey’s happy they’re ‘known for being a family!:)’ #he - kinda terrifyingly - kinda likes the thought of that lol #Leo: 🤔 think I could go back to that hair spa then? (no) #in their defense while they are MENACES society is ALSO a menace to THEM

[autisticaradiamegido]

thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?

day 356

BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails

truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute

#day 356 #year 4 #dave strider #aradia megido #aradave #homestuck #she really saw this kid and was like OH YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH YOUR MORTALITY?? :D #boy do i have some relevant life experience and wisdom to impart on THAT ISSUE SPECIFICALLY #and then she just. very gently and kindly makes the subject more approachable for ghostdave #the pesterlog i linked is literally my FAVORITE aradia moment. to me it is THE character defining moment for god tier aradia #yes she is being kind of ominous and trickstery at first #but it VERY quickly becomes clear shes got genuine concern for this kid she's had very little to do with up until this point #she really wants to connect with him over their shared time aspect stuff #and she really DOES care about how he feels about everything. she wants to help and she wants to put him at ease #because she KNOWS from experience that being dead and having to cope with what that means for you is like VERY UPSETTING AND TRAUMATIC #shes not just like. 'hee hee i think death is great and awesome because im edgy' #shes like 'no dude being dead is scary if you dont have anybody to explain this shit to you. so im going to explain it-' #'-and hopefully by the end of this conversation you will have some new things to feel relief and maybe even joy and excitement about' #'not just in spite of the death thing but BECAUSE of it' #i know shes spooky and has weirdgirl swag and we all love that about her but like #at her core she is a very KIND person. she may occasionally struggle to connect to people through the Death Special Interest Haze #but she WANTS to and when she DOES she is like. a genuinely very warm and comforting presence for her friends #ANYWAY. if andrew hussie or i guess james roach now want to give me an honorary doctorate for my 12+ years of intensive aradia studies #i will be here waiting patiently

[chitinleg]

"Mister Bashir, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you."

Julian, why in god's name would you invite him to play the villain?

#my art #ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #star trek deep space nine #garashir #image desc in alt text #pencil #ok so on the outset it may look to some viewers as though julian invited garak to play the villain to get dommed by the scary lizard #this is not the case. not in my heart #in my heart julian felt a burst of something funny when Garak asked him ''what if you'd killed me'' #and he responded ''what makes you think i wasn't trying'' and garaks face blooms into a sudden understanding and respect. ooh. #That's that heady shit. catching garak off guard. ooooh. that's that High Quality Endorphins Happening. but. gotta pack that up for later #(he will not unpack that later) because garak also just threatened to kill 5 of his friends who are STILL IN DANGER. NO TIME FOR THIS. #so after everything. and MONTHS after OMB. he invites garak to something like a playful rematch. sort of. #after all theres only so long that garak can stomach being a sidekick u know? he needs to be able to do his own machinations. #so they make a character for him thats a villain. a little more cerebral than falcon. a little more ambiguous in his motivations. #now there's also. a secret game at play here (there are always games. doctor) and its actually between garak and his own self #you see garak Also wants bashir to defeat his character. he also wants to be shocked. challenged. a little dismantled even (state forbid!) #and because garak wants that for himself? hes going to fight tooth and fucking nail to make sure it doesn't happen. #that Gayle clip from ''COMPANY IS COMING'' but its garak yelling ''WE CAN'T LET THEM KNOW WE [WANT]!!!'' #and its a horrible idea for both of them but. oh so so exciting #you understand. #these rituals arent intricate so much as they are transparent but all encompassing. a fish doesnt know its swimming in water until its out #you understand? you understand. #thank you to anyone who found the time to read these tags i hope you enjoyed yourself and/or found what you were looking for #also garak is dressed so boring bc hes hiding himself u know how it is

[calamitys-child]

My purpose and singular mission in life is to make sure queer and/or neurodivergent kids know that sometimes it really is their parents who are stupid and other adults are on their side. This, unfortunately, does not make me popular with their parents. Gonnae keep doing it though.

#kid was very overwhelmed by the theatre environment and panicking and didnt want to see the show cause it looked scary #and the mum was trying to get me to tell the kid its not scary (no i dont lie to kids i told her there are lots of funny bits but a couple #of maybe scary bits too) #and I told her hey listen the bravest thing you can do is tell people you arent comfortable somewhere. youve done so well to do that #and i gave her a program so she can learn more and make an informed decision if she wants to come another time #and i asked her what her favourite things are and she said science and animals and i told her to try the museum its super fun #and her mum was all 'ugh shes a nightmare she's ~on the spectrum~' #and i went yeah me too. and told the kid this isnt for everyone and she did well to tell me and i hope she likes the museum #and like. her mum yelling at her was making everything worse. talking to her like a person with agency? #got her from full panic attack to actively smiling at me in under 5 minutes #sometimes your parents or guardians are in fact being stupid or rude! neurodivergent adults exist! other people see you and hear what you're #saying and won't be mad! #anyway. now IM very overwhelmed but i really hope that kid remembers this and i hope she has a great day #im going to get a coffee and sit under a tree for a while

[nesperus]

she is my DAUGHTER!!!!

#I am SO TIRED OF SEEING BAD SCARY TAKES #if you think that she is one hundred percent at fault for everything that happened and is a bad person I do not agree with you #I don’t usually share my takes publically but LEAVE HER ALONE #teenage girl of all time #scary marlowe #dndads #dungeons and daddies #my art #dndads s2 #dndads quest #sage doodles #teresa marlowe #tagging that because if I draw her pre-scary more I want a tag for it #she is my literal child

[hecksupremechips]

Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?

#persona #persona 3 #kotone shiomi #shinjiro aragaki #i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it #that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically #and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks #plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know #and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship #and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live #cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for #youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone #its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back #its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing #kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh #and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has #idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like #akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance #grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together #kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the #meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies

[holocene-sims]

a sneak peek for an upcoming (timeline tbd) update 😊

#holocene.txt #hlcn: story extras #consider this a thanks for the kind words on gratitude day :) #i wanna respond to everyone individually when i have time and also wax poetic about how much every comment means to me #it really does mean a lot #it's been a rough year and a very lonely year like i'm genuinely just so :/ #i lost both of my grandmothers this year very suddenly and the holidays feel empty now and i'm dealing with scary health issues #i finally had a brain mri after waiting for it to get scheduled since JUNE and now i have to wait on results and undergo some other testing #and i'm losing my mind a little because i planned a nice christmas gift for my mom and it feels ruined because the post office lost it #and my dad ruined the whole surprise of it by calling customer support on speaker phone with her in the room...and she ofc heard everything #i just wanted something nice for my mom :( she deserves it and although i have other gifts for her still it's not all what i planned #i don't mean to rant but i just wanted to add context when i say it means a lot that anyone even remotely likes my pixels #i may not know most of you very well *yet* (trying to fix that!!) but it's nice to feel a little support from somewhere :) beyond nice #and sorry for being absent a lot this year but i swear i have so much appreciation for y'all and i love you and your pixels dearly #i always feel bad like maybe it doesn't seem like i care in return bc i'm offline a lot now but i really do!! i care a lot!! love y'all xox

[brittlebutch]

it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time

I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world

And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with

#N posts stuff #one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety #now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body #but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself #like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao #bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something' #like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with #is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again #and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than #'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it #which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that #so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :) #if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively #like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away. #and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered #like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?' #dimension 20 #d20: stupendous stoats #tula #d20lb

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]

Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.

And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.

Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rise leo #the prison dimension is horrifying on its own #add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering? #god I can’t imagine how scary that is #Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there #it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo #personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension #so it’s a prison in all ways #but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all… #Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really #because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope. #to smile #nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him #and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual #one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that #should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination #I’m unwell about this family #actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities #but to their relationship to family and love in general #kinda like love languages in a way #Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe #Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind #Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible #and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway #like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home #even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there #and that’s enough

[obihoe]

madara rlly seems like a bit of a personal curse on ohnoki i think sgsgsgsds like he's so. well not scared maybe but intimidated? by him? or maybe he IS scared, like he still remembers meeting him even as an old man. madara didnt even do anything back then, he just showed off a bit of his power and dropped a few mean-sounding lines. but it seems as if ohnoki was traumatized by this for life sfsgdgds like he's literally shown as the embodiment of an unconquerable wall from his perspective. like in connection w what his sensei taught him and now he's like 80 or 90 and he has to fight him again, this time for real. and madara BEATS his ass AND calls him an ugly old fuck who cant fight for shit and is cringe. LOL its like fate itself was like well youre not getting rid of this fucker. he'll die but he'll come back to life just to haunt u specifically

#ohnoki #madara #posts #poor ohnoki man im so sorry #adgsgdgsfds #i rlly like this scene tho where he thinks of the thing with the wall that his sensei taught him #and its put in connection w mdr and mdr seems so all-powerful #and scary #like his sensei was like 'smtimes there are obstacles/walls in ur way and u have to overcome them #u should never give up and stay strong. and conquer that wall' but he CANT #bc mdr is so strong ... without even using his full power #hehe #i rlly like that image ESPECIALLY in connection w the way mdr. i mean he's not happy abt this confrontation #and the way that it goes. he's unhappy w everything at this point #like ... something abt maybe u can read into this too how he's uncomfortable being so strong #or like his power. its a burden on him #having to use it is burdensome #being part of a society where u constantly have to measure ur power w others is burdensome #he wishes it would not be part of his life anymore. now that the village was founded. but it still is he can never escape it #he cannot ever escape constant conflict and having to rely on his strength all the time instead of diplomacy #... i mean. it is most likely the case that the point of this (mdr's) mission here WAS actually diplomacy #but mdr feels like there's no point in talking #he has given up already on talking #(not fully i guess. since he just intimidates and doesnt attack #but he still feels like this is the only way and it will stay that was always) #*that way

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving. #sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno. #i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity. #again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

[reineydraws]

was rewatching newsies for the hundredth time and had an intense need to draw jason like he was spot conlon. park row newsies are here!!!

#batfamily #batfamily fanart #dc #dc fanart #jason todd #really ive been planning to do a more finished piece of dick doing the newsie pose from the playbill #but everything about spot screams 'jason todd' to me and i just had to take a break from my other piece to sketch it. i HAD to. #every time i watch newsies now all i can think about is spot conlon being jason if he never went into the pit: #short; extremely muscled; and very flippy. tommy bracco u short king!!!! #(i am talking about the newsies proshoot 2017 jsyk) #when i see brooklyn newsie spot conlon all i can really think is 'arms 😳😳' they are!! nice arms!!!!! #but ye i mean what makes me think of jason is also the red and the personality and the way everyone was like 'he's scary to talk to' lol #I DIGRESS #this is niche dont mind me #i'll prob end up doing dick as jack kelly (the blue it fits!) w tiny dami being davey's brother (he is disgruntled to lie #about his age!!!) and timothy being davey ✨️✨️ but also there are plenty of newsies to choose from. like. so many. so we'll see.

[theerurishipper]

The thing about Dick Grayson is that he is the one who's there. Whenever anyone has a problem, they go to him. Whenever they need to talk about those feelings (those rare, rare occasions), they talk to him. Which is why it always cuts deepest when his tongue turns onto them. He knows them, and he knows their deepest insecurities that they never admitted to anyone, and he knows exactly how to make it hurt the worst. Because he's the one who was there for it all. He's the one they went to. He's the one who held them and told them it wasn't true. He's the only one they ever admitted it to. And it hurts so much worse coming from him, even though they know on some level that he doesn't truly believe that. Or maybe it's especially because of that that it hurts so much. Idk.

#Thinking about that time he told Barbara “don't make me regret putting an elevator in here” because that's so awful?? So so utterly cruel?? #But he obviously doesn't believe that because he supported her so unconditionally through it all #And that probably made it hurt worse than if it had been anyone else #To think that he could use it against her after everything #Dick's anger is scary not because it's explosive or violent but because it's personal. He knows how to hit where it hurts the most #Dick Grayson: the kindest most cruel person you'll ever know #DC #DCU #Dick Grayson #Richard Grayson #Nightwing #Robin #Robin I #DC Comics #Bruce Wayne #Batman #Barbara Gordon #Batgirl #Oracle #My meta #Tagging Bruce because he gets this a lot #Mostly deserved but still lol

[running-in-the-dark]

we finished painting the walls in my room today - well, two of them, the ones that we started yesterday. tomorrow we're going to ikea, and then hopefully we'll finish the one wall in my husband's room, and start the two in my room (they're gonna be a different colour than the first two)

#today I am not covered in paint from head to toe! success! #everything still hurts but it's tolerable at the moment #I hope well get my room done by Friday (since we'll be moving our stuff this weekend & my friend will help me build shelves and stuff. which #the walls need to be finished for 😬) #also: we're going to ikea to have them look at the kitchen that we've planned 😬 I'm so nervous lol #it's gonna be so embarrassing if I did everything wrong somehow #and it said the appointment is 45 minutes so that's scary haha. #but it's gonna be too much money (and time and effort to assemble it all) to mess it up so. my social anxiety will just have to be very #brave lol. 😬 #personal