"unspoken feelings" sae itoshi based • angst.
• i recommend listening to oceans & engines w/ this
may contain errors, similar content is coincidental.
• super fast paced huhu, but hopefully still enjoyable :^)
6 years ago —
you were 17 when you had a crush on the sae itoshi. his eyes colored just like the ocean, and his hair reminds you of neutral pink.
he was always so beautiful, and he did everything so beautifully.
soccer, expressing his thoughts, his actions.. all done elegantly. but you knew you were two people who lived in two different worlds.
but still, you tried to get to know him. and get close to him.
so if not being lovers with him will settle, being friends will atleast be enough, you suppose.
so you ask for his number from his friend, shidou ryusei.
4 years ago —
surprisingly, you two did become acquainted, then graduated high school as close friends.
... the label ‘close friends’ that at some point, people thought you two act like an actual couple that was inlove with one another— but really, that seemt like a whole joke.
since he was already dating someone.
and you found out two days ago.
well, it wasn’t surprising, of course. he’s a soccer star. he’s famous. rich, even. everyone’s dream man. and you can’t just keep him to yourself, too. because that would just be plain selfish.
so one night, you were just tired of suppressing your feelings.
the feeling of wanting him.
you should’ve been contented being friends with him and still being in contact after high school—
but there’s just this feeling, that it will never suffice for you.
...
he noticed you acted strangely today.
and he knows every single bit of you damn well.
your perfectionism, how much you want to please everyone so that they don’t leave you, how you don’t want to be a second option.
so you two fought that stormy night.
“you’re keeping something from me, and i don’t like it.”
“i’m not.”
“you are. don’t fucking lie to me y/n. i know you damn well to say that you’re lying.”
“things won’t get better even if i tell you, okay?!”
“well you aren’t telling me! how can i help when you won’t-“
“sae itoshi! i am fucking inlove with you. but it makes me feel real pathetic standing next to you, while you have a girlfriend already.”
“it annoys me how i turn all mushy when i’m with you. it annoys me that i keep staring at your back going further and further away, because i can’t keep up with you. it annoys me how you can read me so well, but don’t get that i’m inlove with you.”
“y/n.”
“i’m leaving to go back to kyoto, sae. i don’t want to loathe you because i like you. so it’s better if we stop being friends.”
“i’m drained from loving you, itoshi sae.”
and just like that, you slip out of his hands.
the last image he had of you before leaving to go to kyoto, was that you were soaked in the rain and crying.
crying because of him.
guess love never suited him, huh.
since it will never last, and slowly rot once he gets a hold of it.
two years ago —
you’ve heard he got engaged with the same girlfriend he dated three years ago.
you think it’s time to let go of him.
to finally let go of the past.
so you finally send a message to him. a plain but pathetic “congratulations on your marriage, sae. i’m happy for you.”
honestly speaking, you expected him to have a new phone number, and that he blocked you.
though he didn’t. your message had been delivered.
still, it’s funny how you never changed his contact name on your phone.
but you remember that his contact photo was a picture of you and him. smiling and all giddy back in the old days.
*ding!*
itoshi • 1:27 pm
y/n. thanks. i know it’s been a long time.. but do you wanna meet up and catch up?
and so you two hit it off and meet up.
except, your boyfriend is with you.
but he didn’t expect your new boyfriend would be rin. his younger brother.
… he can clearly see the way his brother looks at you.
one that represents the way sae used to look at you in late-night conversations that were spent in silk sheets back in high school,
a pathetic man who was admiring you.
the present. 12 whole years after the past.
sae and you became friends again.
so you think it’ll be fine inviting him and his wife to your wedding with your fiancè, right?
i mean— rin was good with you. he communicates with you, there’s trust in the relation, communication- mutual agreement.
there were some rough edges in your relation, but he actually tried for you.
you’re getting ready with your makeup, and someone knocks on the door.
“come in.”
you mumble, fixing the strap of the wedding dress you’re wearing.
the door opens and it’s sae. it’s just him, standing alone.
so you turn back to face him, smiling softly.
“you came.”
“i did. uh, mia’s just sitting down in the assigned chair you set for us.”
“i wouldn’t miss your important day anyways.”
“thank you.”
“why thank me? i did nothing.”
he softly chuckles, adoring how besutiful you looked in the wedding dress.
you always looked best in white either ways.
“what are you staring at, sae?”
“— i’m inlove with you too.”
your smile dissipates, so he takes it as a bad sign.
“sae. you can’t do this to me. please don’t say you love me.”
“not when i’m finally over you.”
“i know. but i never got to tell you what i really meant back then, didn’t i?”
“… sae. i love you. but not in that way anymore. sure, i’ve missed you as a friend. but i still love rin.”
“after i met rin, he changed my whole life. he helped me get over you.”
“you’re too late. i’m sorry.”
you place the eye shadow palette you were using back on the vanity, standing up as the church bells ring.
“i have to go. he’s probably waiting.”
“go ahead.”
and so you do leave, walking down the aisle to marry his brother.
to him, you were just a fraction of his life;
something that was past, but something he was still trying to hold on to, even if it was already destroyed.
if he never let you go that thundery night, would he be the one you were standing with at the altar?
— fin.
aa sorry for slow posts :(( im like super busy w things this week so... hopefully i'll get to post the reo fic on thursday/friday tho!! <3 reblogs, likes, and comments are vm appreciated
191 notes
·
View notes
“the very first night”. rin itoshi based • angst to fluff & based on the ts song.
• (part 2 to foolish one) sorry 4 the delay!
may contain errors, similar content is coincidental.
months pass. but you never really dared to keep count of how many months did pass. (you still did, and it was 10 months).
so, it’s been 10 months after rin left to go to paris.
… 10 months after that last conversation between you and him passed.
“i love you, but i can’t commit.”
sometimes you just doubt his words. if he did love you.
or were you just something he was using to make the time pass by?
you heard from your friends that he was here in japan again. temporarily.
your friends also told you that, in a recent interview, he mentioned he’d only come back to japan for something special to him.
… shouldn’t you not care anymore? isn’t that irrelevant to you? wasn’t your relation unhealthy for the both of you?
but you also still can’t seem to get over him.
every single path or road you take, was always going back to his house.
they all lead back to him, huh?...
bothered by the door bell, you get up from your couch to open the front door—
— and there you see, rin itoshi. standing on your porch.
he’s panting and sweating.
did he run going here?
or are you just being delusional right now?
“do you know how much i miss you?”
“rin, what?”
“i’m sorry i left— okay? i was an asshole for that.”
"i came here to pick up something really fucking special, that i lost 10 months ago."
"yes, i kept count of how many months has it been and i'm really pathetic right now but i—"
“— i miss you like it was the very first night.”
“no one knows how much i miss you.”
“… i still love you.”
"you’re leaving soon. rin— you can’t just barge in my life again, plus we’re two different people with two different lives, so we'd have different schedules—”
“— are you over me?”
“because i know i’m not over you.”
“but if you did move on, then you would’ve shut the door already.”
“if you were, then you wouldn’t be standing here, right?”
“i won’t leave the country if you give me another chance.”
“i won’t go too fast, so you can keep up with me.”
“we can walk beside each other, instead of you always being in the back.”
“so please, let me now make you one of the highlights of my life.”
“let me be the man who spends all his tomorrows with you, and you only.”
"s'il te plaît mon seul amour."
you stay quiet, starting to tear up.
by reflex, he wraps his arms around you.
“then take me away, to you.”
“gladly.”
— fin.
sorry i didn't post yesterday !! ok so i'm pretty sure i still suck at fluff but, reblogs and likes r very much appreciated (comments too!! feedback would be so lovelyy) <3
there are still other fics coming out this week though, so keep out for them!!
154 notes
·
View notes