#flumph writes

[spagyricqueen]

Fun thoughts and details

So, I like lore. I love Forgotten Realms. I have a shelf dedicated to adventure modules and game books spanning back to AD&D 2nd ed. I've been in this thing for a while. I played the original Baldur's Gate games when they were new. And Icewind Dale. Neverwinter Nights 1 and 2.

I fell in love with everyone's favorite pale elf. Admittedly, not because of his vampirism (although, sure, I liked it. It was a fun detail). I love elves. (I just think they're neat). I have a thing for white haired characters with youthful visages. It's a mystery, truly. I think I'm beginning to understand that my attraction to Astarion beyond his vampirism might put me in the minority. That's okay. I know I'm not alone in this, at least.

He's interesting. I love his growth as a character. His ability to work through his demons, show genuine and unexpected compassion, and remain delightfully sarcastic and hilarious.

All this to say that when I approach the writing of my ridiculously long fic, I meticulously keep in mind the world Astarion lives in, as if I were a DM running a Forgotten Realms campaign. I ask questions about the distances between locations, the topography, the climate, the socio-economic structure of different cities, history, alliances, enemies, religions, ecology. I subscribed to Ed Greenwood's (creator of the Forgotten Realms setting) YouTube channel and joined his discord, just to have more resources for information. I have the wiki open constantly (I really want to insert flumphs somewhere in the story - they deserve more recognition. Especially the cloisters, they seem cute). And hey, I may get a few things wrong here in there, as many DMs do, and that's okay too. If it works for the story, who cares?

As much as I love fun head canons, my brain screeches with, "But would that exist in Faerûn? Is that how it works?" and proceed to look up medieval/historical equivalents. Keeping in mind, too, that it's a magical world, where gods exist and they are flawed.

I keep a separate file open so that I can copy/paste words that have stresses in them, even!

Selûne

Faerûn

Ancunín

I like words.

Because I take so much time with such details, I have also gone ahead and rolled up a character sheet for Astarion in my narrative. While he is now mortal, he remains an arcane trickster rogue at level 12. In my story, he's blind, so he occasionally has a disadvantage to attack rolls and his perception (which is rather high) is limited to sound, touch, and smell. However, because of his adaptations, he's cleverly learned to use the Darkness spell to his advantage.

Starting at 4th level (subsequently 8th, 10th, and 12th), he got an ability score increase, plus a dual wielding feat (I flubbed this for story reasons). I used the level 1 character sheet that came with the deluxe edition of the game, and used those as his base stats (ignoring that there were probably already applied modifiers).

Here are the new stats I gave him.

STR: 8 (-1)

DEX: 19 (+4)

CON: 14 (+2)

INT: 17 (+3)

WIS: 15 (+2)

CHA: 13 (+1)

Based on these stats, in my narrative, Astarion has an improved memory (INT) out of necessity, and has become more measured in his decisions (WIS) as a result of his condition, forcing him to think through his actions with caution. His spells are limited to those that don't require line of sight (except I did have him blindly shoot a fire bolt at a barrel during those Underdark shenanigans because PLOT). And he can't use ranged weapons. But I think he's still a very interesting rogue.

Yes, this is a long post to explain how Astarion has grown as a person in my story. Because I am nerd.

#astarion #astarion fanfic #soft astarion #writing #forgotten realms #dungeons and dragons

[dailycharacteroption]

Retrograde Revisions 2: Oath Against Corruption (Oathbound Paladin Oath)

(art by Adam Kanovsky on Artstation)

And we’re finishing off this week with the first of many oathbound paladin oaths!

The oathbound paladin was the first time I decided to break my previously established formula of two weeks because it made sense to do so, and also because detailing every single oath in one entry would have felt like far too much even back then when I was still writing these entries with brevity in mind out of my own anxieties, let alone my much longer entries in the modern day.

In any case, the oathbound paladin! While technically a single archetype, it’s more accurate to say that it is a collection of related archetypes, one that a normal paladin can slip in an out of much easier than one might retrain into and out of in games that allow that, all because of the nature of the archetype.

To put is simply, an oathbound paladin is exactly that: a paladin that has taken a special vow, and allowed the divinity they follow to reshape their powers to better achieve that goal.

As such, when either they or their deity believe that oath is fulfilled, they can choose to end it, returning to baseline paladin or perhaps taking a different oath. Note that this should not be done lightly nor as a way to shift power sets on the fly. This is an oath, not some “dial a hero” powerset.

In any case, the oath against corruption is an oath against abberations in particular. While not as overtly evil as fiends, evil dragons, or the undead, such creatures are numerous, insidious in their manipulations, and sometimes outright unnatural even in their native environment, if they even can be consider native anywhere.

Due to the horrific, maddening appearance of most aberrations, and how some tend to infiltrate and manipulate mortal society for their own twisted ends, these paladins often work in secret to avoid causing a panic. However, even with this uncharacteristic secrecy from the class, there are few who fight as stanchly against such otherworldly beings.

Rather than protect against fear, the aura of these holy warriors provides blanket protection against the abilities of aberrant foes. While strong, this is not true immunity though. Naturally, their nearby allies gain a measure of this as well.

With an expenditure of smiting power, they can engulf their weapon in shimmering divine flame, the blue light dealing no damage, but striking fear into their unnatural foes, causing them to hesitate in their attacks, while the paladin’s allies are emboldened and protected by it.

The most powerful among them are able to potentially banish aberrant foes back to whatever darkness they crawled or fell from, ridding their world of that particular horror for at least 100 years, useful for when an aberrant foe is beyond even such an exemplar. Furthermore, their healing touch becomes impeccable.

The spells this oath grants improves their accuracy and senses, as well as weakens the minds of their foes in a fitting turning of the tables, and even provides them with some measure of protection from magic.

Interestingly, this oath does not grant any abilities that improve their power to damage aberrant foes, but it does provide some specialized protection to both themselves and their allies. I suppose there’s something to be said about the oath being one of purity first, protecting themselves and others from being compromised by the alien powers and magics of such entities. In any case, taking this oath can be an appropriate choice if you know that aberrant foes are coming up, likely setting the boss monster of such a dungeon or arc as their goal. However, I’d leave room to return to standard paladin later unless the aberrations just keep on coming, as the spells are the only thing that aren’t outright useless against other creature types.

One thing not mentioned by this oath is how they view non-evil aberrations like flumphs. In fact, I can imagine that in some settings, flumphs might actually have been the origination of this oath, what with their lawful tendencies and desire to warn terrestrial species about the dangers of the darkness between stars. Then again, others may not be so understanding.

Those who take the oath against corruption suffer no aberration to harm the sentient races, or run free. This often means killing every aberration they encounter, no matter its disposition. When a flumph begs the party for aid, the paladins that had been hunting it mistake the party for cultists of the “foul invader.”

Vernus Caulderbran has fallen, his oath not enough to save him from the mind-warping power of the elder god Clmei Clmei. Now an antipaladin, the foul deity has warped his mind and oath, creating a foul warrior which aids the cult with  his new ability to defend abberations from the spells of mortals, as well as his other twisted abilites.

Deep beneath the solitary peak of Mount Apsod, an ancient evil is stirring, its fowl spawn vomiting forth into the surrounding countryside. Our heroes must contend with the tide of gibbering mouthers and far worse things, as well as the bravado of a platoon of corruption-oath paladins who seem dangerously focused on their personal glory, rather than the threat at hand.

#pathfinder #retrograde revision #archetype #oathbound paladin #paladin #oath against corruption #flumph #gibbering mouther #Ultimate Magic

[honourablejester]

Some thoughts for an Osh Derrinalina PF2e Conversion

I’m considering how much would need to be tweaked to use PF2e for my Osh Derrinalina setting. And … in a couple of places, it’s actually easier than D&D 5e, in that it has two specific player ancestries that make my life much easier: the Anadi and the Leshi.

The Anadi are not quite what I’ve been picturing for the Ineian Weavers, but you know what? They’ll do the job quite nicely. Their lore, as very communal and diplomatic spider people, fits very nicely, and the bits that don’t I’d be tweaking for a homebrew setting anyway (such as the lifespan, because the Weavers are longer lived than elves). For the Weavers I would have been picturing the hybrid form as the only form initially, but I can roll with the were-spider angle. I’d probably want to do an Anadi heritage that grants darkvision and bioluminescence, call it Deep Weaver, and the rest is pretty much already there. Anadi already get weaving feats, I might add that Deep Weaver silk is also luminous to those.

The other small issue is that human absolutely would not be the standard alternate form for a Deep Anadi, given that humans are fairly vanishingly rare in Osh Derrinalina, but you need a whole other heritage to get a non-human Anadi form. I will probably just politely ignore that and say that the typical non-spider form for Weavers is Starfolk elf. Though … given their roles as diplomats and go-betweens for most of the Lightless Sea, it might actually be a thing to let Weavers outside of Ysea have a form that’s the common one for the area. So Weavers living/stationed in Tchorit would have gnome forms, and ones in Durgenrath would have dwarf forms. This is not a deception, Weavers are up front about who and what they are, and most of them probably stay in spider or hybrid form most of the time anyway. But. If weavers need to do politics and spycraft, their other forms could be handy, and also as a … comforting gesture, when they’re publicly known.

The Leshy, of course, specifically the Fungal Leshy, would be Patient Ones of Lochantu. For the Patient Ones, I might say that they’re Medium, rather than Small, I’m not sure if that would have any knock-on effects through the Leshy feats, but I think it should be fine.

Unfortunately, there’s still no player version of a flumph in PF2e, no more than in D&D 5e, so playing a Joy Singer is still out. Eh, maybe we can work on that.

For both Palerin Goblins and Durgen Dwarves, I’d probably want to do homebrew heritages as well. Call the Durgen the Grower Heritage, and give them some primal innate spellcasting, and maybe do something similar to the Death Warden dwarf heritage for the Palerin goblins? Palerin would also get wonky lifespans, as Rachinilea messes with their mortality. Homebrew ancestry feats for the girrish tattoos are definitely also a must.

For the Starbuilders, the Umbral Gnome heritage might work? I might still want to do a more custom heritage to pull some elements of the crystal/earth partnership in. I could do that with some ancestry feats either, though.

For the Hadali merfolk, the Ancient Scale Azarketi work perfectly. Exactly what I want, darkvision and bioluminescence. Obviously I’d be changing pretty much all of the Azarketi lore, just keeping the mechanics, since Osh Derrinalina is a very different setting and does not include fallen continents, Atlantean empires, and algholthu corruption. Again, might do up a few ancestry feats relating to Derrinalina herself and the protection of the Mother Sea.

(Sidenote: I probably also want to do a deity write-up for Derrinalina. Possibly also Rachinilea as well)

For the Starfolk, Cavern Elf again works pretty perfectly. In Osh Derrinalina, at least if you’re a native, darkvision is pretty much all you need from your heritage (with the possibly exception of Durgen dwarves, because of the suns, but dwarves get darkvision by default anyway). Again, a couple of feats relating to endurance and constitution, as a result of the legacy of the Great Flight, or a couple relating to trade and diplomacy bonuses, could be worth considering. Might give them access to a couple of the PF2e human ancestry feats in that cause.

For the Siinelan Crystalfolk, like the Joy Singers, there still isn’t really a good player option. I’m not sure what stat block I’d use for them as NPCs, either. However … crystal, empathy, luminescence … I am wondering if some reskinned Kashrishi might work? Trogloshi, obviously. I don’t know, I would have to think about that one. The Oread versatile heritage would also be something to consider. That being said, they’re a bit more alien than a lot of player ancestries, again like the Joy Singers, so it might be better to leave them as NPCs.

So the set up here is that, in Osh Derrinalina, the common ancestries are deep anadi, cavern elf, grower dwarf, umbral gnome, ghostly goblin, fungal leshy, and ancient scale azarketi, and everything else is rare and usually only seen on strangers via the Southern Passage or the Durgenroad.

I am wondering if I need to tweak Silrithantus. PF2e Umbral dragons have somewhat different vibes to 5e shadow dragons. But, honestly, I can just use the stat block and change the lore, and Silrithantus was always his own deal anyway.

For Zarathea, I definitely want to tweak a Dragon Turtle statblock for blindness, albinism, faint bioluminescence, and possible deathly influences, but then I’d also have to do all that in 5e too. Heh.

Lochantu’s sacred bats can be either Giant Bats or Albino Giant Bats, possibly a mix of both.

Overall, though? Definitely a doable conversion. And the Anadi … oh, the Anadi make my life so much easier, just by existing. I really love the happy little spider people? Long may they reign!

#ttrpgs #osh derrinalina #pf2e #d&d #5e #pf2e conversion #subterranean settings #fantasy #spider people #i love that pf2e has those #and the psychic rhino people but they're less applicable here

[thecreaturecodex]

Will you be using third party classes like Akashic Mysteries or Path of War during Age of Monsters?

No. There's so much Paizo Pathfinder content that I want to play in that space more. I will write an article about how to use stuff from the Advanced Bestiary , put out by Green Ronin, as an example of how to use templates to enhance monsters. Especially since that book has templates like Bipedal and Lifespark Construct and Manimal, which are all very thematically linked to Monster Girls, as opposed to girls who are monsters. There will be some of all of those, including some very nonhumanoid interpretations. Like, if Sailor Mercury was a flumph kind of interpretations.

#feedback #age of monsters #monster girl summer #pathfinder rpg #pathfinder 1e

[obscureaestheticist]

Dark Con & Succession War Characters as Players & GMs

Ging: Derailing god. Knows a pirating / rom site for everything. Adores Pathfinder and 3.5e but runs games as if Tomb of Horrors was just easy mode. Pariston: "It's what my character would do :)" Lamentations enthusiast. Leorio [current arc]: Channels the power of thesis block to destroy hordes of bandits. Cheadle: Strategic player who looks on in despair at their chaotic and extremely violent comrades. T-T Mizaistom: T-posing human fighter that somehow keeps pulling off the most significant moments in the campaign. Beyond: That one tiktok friend who cosplays as their character for each session and runs campaigns like theatrical wrestling performances. That vocal training has gotta be used for something! Muherr: Army vet, seen a lotta stuff, but runs the most heartfelt and hopeful campaigns you'll ever play. 7th Sea Gm. Steiner: Sweetest guy you know, writes the most terrifying mysteries ever. Pure unfiltered neurosis expressed through Call of Cthulhu and World of Darkness. Kurapika [current arc]: 3rd life-changing trauma this week "Sure! I can make it for Friday!" Melody: In it for the deep pan crispy lore. Makes the maps out of love. Can't play an evil character the save their life. Has mountains of Solo-RPG journals of wonderous adventures. Hanzo: Falls into the habit of down-to-Earth friendly characters that sling death threats and "comedic violence" at everyone to the point of awkwardness. Shall avenge every minor NPC the gm forgot to name. Basho: Doesn't own a single rpg book that doesn't also double as an art book. Bill: "That game from Stranger Things?" Theta: Evokes awe from fellow players for her RP skills. Greater knowledge of in-game politics than the actual DM. One Ring and Game of Thrones RPG enjoyer. Tserriednich: Tonight's Session - The GMs Barely-Disguised Fetish ... Kult & Drakar och Demoner for life. Benjamin: WILL apply real military strategies to your game regardless of setting and character. YES! He will bring diagrams! YES! You should be concerned! Twilight: 2000 nut. Zhang Lei: Chill. Enjoying the vibes. Simply awaiting the fruition of his diabolical schemes to spring into action... Once every other player is done with their wacky flumph hijinks. Camilla: Dungeon Bitches & Mork Borg. Throwing hands. Fuck everything else. Fireball isn't enough. Stay away from the loot. Halkenburg: Heart of gold, but tries waaaaay too hard to help the fantasy world he's meant to just be smacking trolls around in. Kacho & Fugetsu: Supports queer indie ttrpgs and are currently trying to figure out where to store all the gigabytes of pdfs. Hinrigh: "Yes, this is a rip off of all my favorite anime characters and I love them :D" Zakuro: Too shy to speak up, didn't realize they missed 5 turns. Lynch: Screw politeness, fists are all you need to ask questions. Morena: The "Nice Girl" Oito: "I just hope the game contains no foul language. Do we need a console?" Woble: The group mascot

#spoilers #hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh headcanons #headcanon #help i've been rewatching the whole series #succession war arc #dark continent arc #kurapika #terror sandwich #tserriednich #hinrigh #leorio #ging hxh #pariston hxh #cheadle yorkshire #mizaistom #kacho hui guo rou #fugetsu hui guo rou #hxh spoilers

[evilmidnightlurker]

Other Light Novel Parody Titles I Will Never Write

In the Grim Darkness of the Forty-First Millennium, There Are Only Isekai Protagonists

I Committed One Small Act of Necromancy And Now the Secret Moderators of the World Are On My Case

My Entire High School Harem Comedy And All Our Supporting Cast were Killed And Reincarnated as the Replacement Pantheon of a Fantasy World

That Time I Was Reincarnated as a Flumph

My Gacha Waifus are Coming to Life but the Microtransactions are Impoverishing Us

I Can't Understand This RPG World's Character Sheet

ORI 折り*神 GAMI: The Folded God

My Isekai Perfect Harem Happy Ending Failed to Account for Inadequate Birth Control Methods

#light novels #parody #isekai

[floating-in-the-blue]

D&D au, lalexie 👀

Thank you, darling!! <3 This got a bit longer so I put the rest under a cut. Low-key dedicating this to @lexxlikes too, for reasons ;D

Willie had been excited when he'd been invited to the Sunset Phantoms D&D session, not only looking forward to spending more time with the band (and especially with certain members of the band) but also because he looked forward to an opportunity of dusting off his half-elf thief that had been sadly mouldering in his closet since his own group had dispersed a few years ago.

He knew that bringing a new player into a group was never easy and so he made sure to thank not only the band for having him as soon as he arrived but Bobby especially, as the DM who now had to keep track of one more character, bringing the total number of characters up to five.

Reggie being a 6,5 foot tall half-orc tank was a bit of a surprise but became a little easier to accept when Willie found out that Zogar had a habit of adopting any stray wildlife the party encountered and wanted to pet all the monsters.

Julie played a female human mercenary that took on the role of financial advisor to the group and made sure that every corner in every dungeon was duly inspected for valuables that might be sold off later. Shondri also had a talking sword she had named Flynn, which made everyone giggle, especially since Julie was remarkably good at making it sound like the real world Flynn (who was on vacation and therefore not playing with them).

Alex's Tezlan was a harengon, which was not a race Willie was familiar with but turned out to be a large humanoid hare that was very good at running away from danger and possessed a lot of luck. Willie just thought it was adorable and that his own Falfinas would have a hard time staying away from those large, fluffy ears that just begged to be petted.

And Luke was a bard.

Willie laughed out loud at that and thought Luke getting all red in the face and defensive was way too cute to bear. Apparently, Luke had been the most difficult to persuade to play D&D at all (they could be doing so much better things with their time, like playing music!) but when they had finally convinced him ("think of the songs you can write about our adventures!"), he'd been adamant to invest as little time as possible in his character and had immediately opted for a human bard name Lucas and demanded that his character had created at least one hit song à la 'that guy in the Witcher.'

(Everyone immediately chanted 'Toss a coin to your witcher, oh valley of plenty' under their breath.)

But Willie had to admit that Lucas was a very charming companion who frequently amused them with songs (and then had to be dragged away from his guitar/lute so they could continue to actually quest) and he certainly didn't mind that Falfinas was getting serenaded by the bard around the evening camp fire.

He also appreciated Tezlan cosying up to him when he innocently mentioned how he was still feeling cold. The harengon's fur was soft and warm after all.

Bobby kept shooting him glances and rolling his eyes as Falfinas continued to gleefully flirt with Lucas and Tezlan but Julie kept giggling and Shondri often dragged Zogar a little away from the others by promises of cute birds and monsters, which meant Bobby had to create some impromptu Flumphs (anti-gravity jellyfish) or Almiraj (bunnies with unicorn horns) on the fly to satisfy the half-orc.

But Willie didn't think Bobby really minded all that much because there were enough grins scattered throughout his more annoyed expressions that Willie still felt safe enough to continue with his mission to fluster Luke and Alex by flirting with Lucas and Tezlan without fear of not being invited back.

Because he very much wanted to be invited back.

#lalexie #alex/willie/luke #alex x willie x luke #jatp fanfic #phantomfloat #my writing #yeo writes

[jasper-pagan-witch]

hellohello Mx. Jasper! I was reading through the forgotten realms wiki, specifically the page(s) on Magic and how it manifests in the world of D&D and the different types. I know you're a pop culture wizard and pagan, and thought to ask you this;

Is the way you think about magic (or religion/spirituality) influenced by the pop culture sources you work with, or vice-versa? (or none at all?)

I thought it was an interesting discussion prompt! Hope all is well (I know it's late as I'm sending this, so I hope you rest well!)

~ Pythios (they/them)

Good morning Mx. Pythios! Thank you for today's dose of enby gender euphoria, and I love your name. I slept terribly, but that's about normal for me, especially because I hiked my entire 80-acre farm twice yesterday in a desperate, divine-inspired bid to touch grass. (Gee thanks, Deer Dad.)

So let's address your question here. I'm going to break it down into two categories: magic versus religion. Let's start with magic.

Does magic change the way I interact with pop culture sources? Yes. I'm constantly on the lookout for new spell inspiration when I'm flipping through Magic The Gathering cards, looking at Dungeons and Dragons sourcebooks and homebrew, playing Skyrim (even though I enjoy Oblivion more), or learning about the newest Pokemon generation because I do not own a Nintendo Switch and at this point I'm refusing to move on because I'm stubborn.

Does the definition of magic in those pop culture sources impact my craft? Not particularly - the closest thing to that is that D&D impacted my decision to call myself a wizard instead of a witch.

Does it make me think about magic in ways I wouldn't otherwise? Yes, absolutely! Where else would you get card-based magic than MTG? (Perhaps in tarot-based spells or spell oracle decks.) Where else would you get as fascinating entities as the atronachs of The Elder Scrolls? Where else would you get a tiny Shiny Charmander as a familiar spirit?

It also leads to fun quotes such as "the Flumph made my spell do a fucky-wucky" in group chats with my pals Fool Chicken of @windvexer and Runa of @serpentandthreads.

Am I impacted by pop culture in the way I think of religion? A little bit, actually! In D&D, there's a Faiths and Pantheons web enhancement called Deity Do's and Don'ts that you can find a PDF of almost anywhere. The breaking down of signs from deities into the various categories (animals/plants, monsters, gems/precious metals, colors, and miscellaneous) inspired me to do something a little similar when I make reference documents of the deities I honor, worship, or work with.

It also impacts how I think of deities. The D&D divine power scale (quasi-, lesser, intermediate, greater, over-) doesn't translate to our world's pantheons, but I can use those terms to describe the current influence a particular deity has in my life. For instance, currently Cernunnos is sitting pretty at Greater Influence because I'm currently working with him, while Loki and their family (who I honor) are at Quasi-Influence.

There's also the whole "anyone can become a god" in D&D which affects my own deity classification thing. I draw a line between hero worship and deity worship, but where does that leave figures like Angrboda (a giantess) or Jormungandr (a huge snake)? Since I honor them both like deities, I call them deities, even though they don't have "portfolios" or "domains" in the traditional sense - just what we can scrounge up and apply to them.

Also, like...I'm a pop culture pagan. I worship Azura alongside everyone else. She's literally right there.

Does my view of my religion impact my experiences with pop culture? Yes. Fanfiction has gotten so freaking weird to write or read when it comes to Azura or even just...broad myth-based stories. I keep getting hit with the overwhelming sense of "wow, these writers could not have gotten Athena and Aphrodite more wrong" and it makes mythology-based media really weird for me.

Like...mythological figures aren't just Myth Blorbos, they are actual entities that people STILL, to this day, worship or work with - even the heroes like Odysseus, Orpheus, or Theseus.

Anyway, that's my two cents here, Pythios. I hope this was interesting for you (and everyone else!) to read and I hope I was able to clearly shed some light on my own practices and how pop culture stuff plays into them.

By the way, the dragon dividers in this post? You can find them here. They were made by @firefly-graphics who does incredible work. I recommend their dividers and their other graphics!

~Jasper

#answered #anonymous #anon pythios #personal #the jasper way #pop culture #religion

[wetbloodworm]

intermittently rotating zenith again and specifically thinking about how he’d work in other campaigns/universes (both because it’s a fun way to develop him further, putting him in new situations, and also i love him and like thinking about him) and yesterday ez and i talked about him in the ariknauts universe and now i’m writing some of that down

specifically thinking about him replacing niamh in ariknauts 2 with the rest of the team being the same. she’s elsewhere in the world having a more normal time on the run. she’s doing fine.

also since i don’t have to worry about actively playing him in this campaign, thinking more of a version of him that’s less balanced as a player character. because that’s fun. basically at his full power he’s stronger, that’s the main difference.

he might actually be a little more secure once he reaches the material plane in this universe since interplanar travel/things coming to the material plane isn’t illegal. he’s allowed to be there. more than that, people seem generally excited when people come from other planes, because it’s new! and they get to learn about other planes that way! and some people can do new cool things with magic and such! it’s awesome!! so zenith would be less at risk of being kicked out if he’s discovered, which would make him less concerned about being discovered

he’d still keep what he is on the down-low, though, considering what he is specifically. fairies and changelings coming from the Fae Realm is one thing, they’re still humanoids and read more like Normal People, but aberrations are largely considered monsters and Bad. not all of them (flumphs are good and wholesome) but most of them. and like, for himself specifically, yeah, he’d kinda get that, considering he feeds off of people. he feels like he’s not that bad because he doesn’t KILL people, but not everyone would be chill with him. so like, less worried about people knowing he’s from the far realm, still a bit closed off about being an aberration.

his two main reasons for traveling with the party initially would be 1) likes people, hanging out with them is interesting and fun, and 2) food source. that’s always his motivation. he’d also stick around as things started getting, uh, bad, because it IS still interesting, and also once it’s a world-is-threatened thing it’s a case of like. y’know. ‘i’m one of the idiots that lives here’. he LIKES the world and he LIKES existing in it. so he’d stick around.

i feel like he’d get along with kenaz the best, nox really well also, kiza probably wouldn’t be much of a fan, and he knows not to fuck with rahz so that’d be fine.

ez said that niamh is probably the #2 Most Adult in the group after rahz, which isn’t saying much but that’s still the ranking, but zenith would be below kenaz. send the two out together and SHE’S the one that has to be the adult, to her surprise

baby zenith on a child leash biting at the cord

he would have SO MANY QUESTIONS for kenaz about the Fae Realm. he’s curious about all the planes, wants to know all about it!!

since the gods can read minds and seem to know some general stuff about the mortals they interact with, zenith getting figured out the fucking instant he meets any of them. the group walking into toby’s shop and eltis sits up on the couch

zenith would be on extra good behavior around the gods because he figures the stronger someone is the easier time they’d have kicking him back to the far realm.

ez and i talked about the full truth coming out about zenith and kenaz being very unhappy with the dream-eating thing, and her expressing her unhappiness first and with some threatening involved so zenith just like ‘okay you're off limits then’. no one else, just kenaz, she spoke up first.

god would he even get to volunteer for watches after that. would anybody let him. if he’s not allowed to go unsupervised at night he’d just have to hunt psychically instead, meditate and find nearby dreamers. he’d grumble about not having access to his party but wouldn’t fight it too hard, it’s not a hill he’s going to die on when he has another option.

he wouldn’t feel sad thinking about the lost party members, but he’d think it’s sad in a way, that makes sense? not in an empathetic way, like ‘these people were unmade to keep us alive and give us another shot and that’s sad for them’, it’s more selfish. more like ‘i enjoy making friends and those are friends that were taken from me, experiences that were taken from me, and it’s unfortunate that i don’t get to get to know those people’. centered on him rather than the lives lost.

he’d hate having ANY of his memories taken from him, he loves experiencing things! how fucking rude

ez mentioned kenaz getting annoyed when she finds out zenith is a powerful void snake thing but he’s NOT when that could really help them out with what they’re facing. him being like i ALSO would like to be very powerful again. i’m working on it.

zenith sneaking off one night when he’s powerful enough to cast gate, and either timing it for when kenaz has a watch or waking her up doing one of his own to keep an eye on the party because he knows she won’t care enough to stop him from going off to do Something.

i’m forgetting other things we talked about so i’ll reblog this if i think of/remember more

#zenith tag

[silly-goofy-mood]

Picture this

FLUMPHTOBER

It's like flufftober but you just write about flumphs

#shitpost #dnd #dnd shitpost #flumph #flufftober

[flumph-stories]

The Docks of Newport

    It was a normal day on the docks.  Sailors and dock hands loading cargo.  The resident ogre that helped keep everyone in line and was there to help with the largest crates was lumbering around doing his work.  Sailors argued about the price of the docking fee, seagulls pecked at food that was left out while they argued.  Fishermen brought in their catches from the morning.  Guards stationed around to help keep the peace were chatting among themselves and casting a weary on drunk sailors and newcomers.  It was a normal day on the docks.

    The dwarf threw the final bag onto the ship with a large huff.  As the package hit the deck he wiped his hands together, a smug smile underneath the large braided black beard of his and a twinkle of victory in his grey eyes.  He turned to his orcish compatriot and announced, “Thirteen fer me!  I’m only seein yerself load twelve.”     The orc grunted in response, throwing the bags she was carrying onto the deck in a similar manner to the dwarf.  She sat down on the dock, now about head height with the dwarf.  She jabbed a finger into his gut, “Yeah, I loaded twelve.  As far as I saw, you only loaded thirteen because you tricked the brute into bringing another one up for you.”  She grumbled more to her response after, but instead of voicing her other complaints about his ill-gotten victory she instead took some bread from the bag on her hip, cracking it in half and handing one of the halves to the dwarf.

He took the bread and chomped down on it, the crumbs getting stuck in his beard as he talked, “And that me friend is where I get ya,” he tapped his head with the loaf, “I got a brain up ‘ere you couldna dream of ‘avin.”  He then sat down next to her, “What I’m lackin in orcish brute I make up in good ole fashion brain.”     “Keep talking and that brain’ll be spread all over the dock.” She responded, putting her palm on his shoulder and then shoving him over with ease.  She quietly ate the rest of her food while the dwarf yelled on about her nerve and tried again and again to get her to punch him.  She looked out at the sea in thought before yelling out, “Hey Big, got a dwarf up here causing a problem!” She looked over the dwarf as the color drained from his face, the smug grin he wore earlier now on her face, her tusks sticking out to the sky like arms spread up in cheer.  “Moradin’s beard yer gonna get me killed girl!” The dwarf pleaded as he started looking around desperately for a place to hide.  Not a moment later the dock started to shake with the footfalls of the lumbering creature coming up the dock with the call the orc had yelled out.

The light dimmed around them with the size of his shadow before he even came into view.  The dwarf dove into the pile of bags him and the orc had carried up, and just in time.  Just then the ogre got to where he had been sitting with the orc moments before.  “Where problem?” the ogre asked his simple question, seeing no one other than the orc.     “Looks like he must’ve gotten away, sorry big fella.”  The orc responded with a shrug, then patted the ogre’s leg.      “Okay,” The ogre said, disappointed at the lack of a fight as he lumbered back to the labor he had been taking care of before getting called over.  As he walked off the dwarf came out of his pile of bags in a fury, launching himself into the orc.  She was ready for it though, and simply reached out and held the dwarf at arms length before he could really get close to try and grapple her.     “Little shit thinkin its funny to be callin an ogre to start a fight they ain’t thinkin of havin!” The dwarf spat at the orc as he tried to break from her grip to get at her.  All the while she laughed at the dwarf and started to stand up.  As she got to her feet, she picked the dwarf up by his arms.  In response he swung himself forward and kicked her in the gut, getting her to let go.  From there the two brawled in good fun on the ground, not causing any real harm, and fighting just as a way to spend time more than anything else.

    It was a normal day on the dock.  What wasn’t normal were guards rushing to the docks.  Normally any guards that came down for anything other than stopping a crime in action took their time, taking as long as possible to take as much time as possible away from their shift.  Guards didn’t rush up to the docks, and guards didn’t take away the currently stationed ones without replacing them.  No one paid too much attention though except for the beggars who always had their eyes out.  They knew something was up, and started the opposite way the guards went.  The guards went into the city, the beggars made their way to leave.

The dwarf and orc finished their spat and laid on different sides of the deck, breathing heavy and with a few new bruises each.  “Aye, yer a shit, but ya can still throw a punch.”  The dwarf rasped out.     “No shit,” the orc replied before propping herself up on her elbow to sit up.  She looked over the sea, and the city, and smiled.  Life was good, and a good scrap was another part of a normal day, one of the better parts.  She looked over at the dwarf and called out, “So when do you think you’re gonna be able to stand and get back to work?” She grinned, waiting for his insulting retort, getting her own ready to respond with.     It didn’t come.  Her smile slowly vanishing with concern, “Did I really beat you that bad that you can’t talk now?”  Again, she didn’t get a response.  She could see he was still breathing from where she was at, and took comfort in the fact that at the very least he wasn’t dead.  It had been a normal scrap, she hadn’t put in her full weight into it, and they had fought like this before.  

    Her eyes grew wide in fear as she finally noticed why he wasn’t talking, a hand covered his mouth, coming from seemingly thin air.  She got up and rushed over, calling out to the ogre.  As she stood, charging to the dwarf, what she saw in the corner of her eyes made her stop.  The ogre wasn’t on the ground.  It was a good three feet in the air, its eyes glazed over.  Holding it aloft was a giant worm that ran through its chest.  Thin tentacles rising from its maw, reaching into the sky as it shrieked in victory.

   As she stared in horror at the site, a hand grabbed her tusked mouth, and suddenly she was magically asleep.  Just like the dwarf.  Just like many others on the docks that hadn’t been outright killed

    The dock was not the only place events like this were happening in.  The whole city was falling to monstrosities.  The normal day had been interrupted.  The normal day had been destroyed wholly by these creatures.  It was no longer a normal day on the docks, and the docks would never have a normal day like this one again.

#fantasy #short stories #writing #flumph stories #flumphstories #dwarf #orc #sailor #original

[thetradeway]

Session 40 10 Apr 2021: Thunderbuns and Timothy P. Fuckapple

Sophie and Matthew are on their way back from somewhere, so we start a little later than advertised.

Quick recap - where were we? Most of us were having dinner with Mirt, Kessler had left, and also Tarragon not long after, having made Brother Charity wear her drink.

Tarragon arrives back at the Dagger and Kessler has her translate what she managed to scribble down of Carl’s book:

The rest eventually arrive back, in various states of drunkenness. We have eaten, so the DM exempts us all from hangovers. Yay!

Brother Charity, Matthew tells us, had all the sinful posh foods including foie gras.

Joe has added character sheets for the baby flumph, and Simon the mouse who has rat stats (including a whole hit point!) but is not a rat. Did Gideon add a flumph pouch to his sleeve? Yes, his friend Bromrick helped him make one.

Okay, so! Are we all in the taproom, and does Kessler want to share what she learned about Carl? She wants to have a quiet word with Brother Charity about it. She’ll have a time of it, Matthew says; Brother Charity has wedged a chair under his door handle so he can be undisturbed while he calms Brother Carl down.

Sophie, OOC: “He’s dead, how calm do you want him? Resting heart rate of zero beats per minute!”

Kessler knocks on Brother Charity’s door. He ignores it. “He has to come out at some point!” Or she could just tell the party we’ve been bringing a zombie around with us, or tell the bar staff he’s been keeping dead animals in his room. Still nothing. (Matthew, OOC: “Riveting game playing, isn’t it?”)

The rest of us make Perception checks, Ahleqs rolls the best as he is perpetually on edge waiting for danger, even in his sleep. We all roll well enough to hear Kessler banging on Charity’s door. Ahleqs listens at his door to see what the exasperated goblin sounds are about. He opens his door and asks her what she’s doing; she says she wanted a word with Brother Charity.

She makes a Perception check - she can’t hear anything coming from Brother Charity’s room. She turns back to Ahleqs and asks him to go and get Gideon and she will get the rest of us. She wants us all to meet in her room.

He does as he’s told, and goes and knocks on Gideon’s door. He throws it open; he is wearing his little jammies.

Ahleqs: “Kessler’s being weird.”

Gideon: “And?”

We gather in her room. What has she woken us up at this ungodly hour for?

She tells us about the Identify spell - Brother Carl is under the influence of an Animate Dead spell. None of us are especially shocked by this news. She says Brother Charity won’t speak to her.

Ahleqs notes that Charity seemed upset because we haven’t really given him a chance.

Kessler says that Carl told her Charity ‘saved’ him. Gideon doesn’t seem worried, he just wishes Charity had been honest about it!

Do we think Carl can communicate, has he perhaps told Charity that Kessler knows? It’s a possibility.

We should hear him out before we burn him. We’ll wait for him to come down to breakfast and ask him about it. Wait, let’s check and make sure they haven’t done a runner. Melaina climbs out of the window in Kessler’s room and around the outside of the Dagger to Charity’s room to see if he’s in there. She looks into the room - which is empty. The window is closed, so he likely didn’t go out that way.

He’s scarpered! We go downstairs to ask the bar staff if they’ve seen him.

Well we don’t have to ask, because the Brothers are in the taproom eating breakfast. Well, shit. Okay so maybe they didn’t scarper.

Ahleqs, nervously: “Good morning, normal to see you.”

Brother Charity calls us straight away on Kessler’s investigation; Ahleqs asks why he didn’t just tell us Carl was dead. Well it’s not a great opener with a new group of people, Charity explains.

Besides, we’re dragging Tarragon around with us.

Tarragon: “… Excuse me?”  

Charity: “She came back from the dead, I don’t see the difference.”

Tarragon, indignant: “I’m not literally rotting!”

We have judged Carl, so we must be experts on his condition, yes? We know everything there is to know? Charity asks.

Tarragon: “No, that’s why we’re asking!”

“I see.”

He insists he’s not a necromancer. He cast spells of the necromantic variety, but so did the Unicorn to resurrect Tarragon -

Gideon, out of the blue: “How does the group feel about summoning demons?”

Us: “ - …”  

Kessler goes to the bar; it’s too early for this conversation.

(BC is smiling and drinking his coffee as we have a sidebar about this.)

Tarragon asks Charity to enlighten us about Carl’s condition.

He shows us a piece of paper with a drawing on it by Carl, of all of us holding hands.

He says that Carl was horrified when Kessler demanded he undress her and threatened to kill him.

Kessler lets slip that she was born in a human household, while Charity is berating her by openly making assumptions about goblins, the way we’re making assumptions about Carl.

Tarragon asks about how he came to animate Carl; he says he found his corpse in a field and cast a spell on it. Carl had been bitten by a snake, and Charity happened upon him. He says his previous zombie had been eaten by a bear.

Wait, his previous zombie? When did he start raising zombies?

Two hundred and three years ago.

“Are you undead?”

No!

How did he come to raise zombies two hundred or so years before he was born?

He says that’s an interesting story, and he might tell us if we share something about ourselves. He starts by turning to Ahleqs, while Kessler goes to the bar and orders a keg of everything and as much food as they can bring to our table.

Jirr, seeing her approach: “Gonna be one of those, huh?”

It’s a bit early for Charity, he’ll stick with coffee. (Not at all like Matthew, who will have a PINT OF WHISKEY! That’s roleplaying for you.)

Charity asks about Ahleqs’s wild magic; what would he say was the most significant event to happen to him other than the acquisition of his magical powers on the day he discovered he had them?

Ahleqs stares into middle distance. He says that’s when he escaped; he never found out why they did it to him, but he’s not going back.

Woah.

(Charity tries to backpedal, and offers Ahleqs a scotch.)

Before Ahleqs can elaborate, his amulet starts to pulse and Mr Pickles appears. He looks around the table and his gaze settles on Carl.

“What’s this?”

Ahleqs, relieved: “Mr Pickles will sort everything out.”

Mr Pickles sniffs Carl. Ahleqs says he’s just coming around to the idea that Carl might be okay.

Mr. Pickles, sniffily: “it’s nothing to be frightened of. It’s just magic. Low magic, but just magic.”

Charity: “How dare you!”

Mr. Pickles, ignoring him: “I have an offer for you and your friends, anyone who can cast arcane magic, from the temple. We have a mission that you and your team would be perfect for.” He will explain further, but not here.

Tarragon says she can’t cast arcane magic, can she come anyway? Yes, all can do the mission, but the reward only benefits arcane casters. (Tarragon says that’s fine - everyone here has helped her with stuff before.)  Mr. Pickles tells us to eat our breakfast and join him later.

Ahleqs talks about the glowing orb he found, which he thought at first was elf poo; it has stopped glowing now so he thinks it might be something else.

Melaina, nodding: “My poos don’t stop glowing.”

Ahleqs takes Carl’s picture and puts it in the bag of holding. Aww.

Charity comforts Carl as we leave, rubbing his back. “See, I told you no-one was going to kill you.”

Duncan, OOC: “Guys, I think I love Carl!”

Charity makes a Perception check; he is not shit-hot at these. He rolls a 15, perceiving a medium amount of things. He spots one of Mirt’s paper cranes; he immediately pockets it without drawing attention to it. (There is something for him in the handout section of his journal. He will read that anon.)

Tarragon rolls Perception as well; she sees a black cat looking at her. It goes “PSSST!” She shakes her head and keeps walking.

We walk back through the fancy part of town where we were last night, toward the House of Wonder.

Ahleqs has been to the House of Wonder before, yes? He leads us there, excitedly telling us all how good it is. This is the temple if the Goddess of Magic, in the middle of the Sea Ward. Mr. Pickles is waiting for us.

Ahleqs asks him, if he gets really good at magic, so he hardly ever kills any of his friends, can he have a set of those robes?

“Of course, my boy.”

Gideon takes a look at the pillars - at ADV because of his Stonecunning, which he is going to use EVERY session. They’re pulsing with magic. Can he do an arcana check?

Yes. at ADV as well. 26! He is going to fondle those stones until he unlocks all their secrets! They are conduits for magic. Each pillar channels a different form, adding to the ambient magic in the temple.

We have to peel him off the stone at this point. “What are we here for, again? Missions! Yes!” 

Mr Pickles, somehow raising one eyebrow at Gideon even though he doesn’t have any: “Are you done?”

Gideon, still looking longingly at the pillars: “Yes.”

Mr. Pickles says there have been developments in the Shadow Weave. He would like us to undertake a journey to Candlekeep to find a book. Are we familiar with the Castle of Tomes?

Ahleqs makes a History check. He is from Baldur’s Gate so he can do it at ADV. 14; he has heard of it but never been there. It’s the greatest repository of knowledge in the world, guarded by monks. People come from all over to seek knowledge.

Do we just ask them for this book?

Mr Pickles asks Charity if he’s been to Candlekeep before; he has, once or twice. As he knows, the monks require a gift for entry; a book that is not already in their possession.

Melaina: “We could write one!”

Sadly this probably won’t work as they are stringent about the quality of the books they accept, and Mr. Pickles doesn’t know how we would get a good one. His head priest will write us a letter which should convince the monks to let us have the one we want to take away, but we must find a book that will be acceptable to the monks in order to gain entry.

Hmm.

Poetry, arcane arts, history, all of these would be acceptable. Erotic fiction? Ahleqs knows where we can find a lot of that.

Mr Pickles wants to talk about the reward; Charity already has a familiar, he says. (Does he mean Carl?) Would any of the arcane casters like a bond with such a creature? Ahleqs brings out Simon. “I already have one.”

Melaina says she would like ‘a little aminal...’

Mr. Pickles says they could bind Simon to Ahleqs as a familiar so that if something happens to him, he could be brought back. (Mouse Frumpkin!) He thinks Simon would love that; yeah, let’s do that.

Mr Pickles leads him to a chamber - Ahleqs skips after him, he’s so excited.

Ahleqs can add Find Familiar to his spell list - it will only summon Simon, and Mr Pickles will show him how to cast it as a ritual.

Mr Pickles offers the same to Gideon, for his flumph; he accepts.

Mr Pickles returns again and offers Kessler a familiar. She’s not sure she should keep a pet; she’d probably lose it.

Charity and Ahleqs both say “Or eat it” at the same time. Ahleqs holds his hand up for a high five; Charity is briefly confused before Ahleqs explains the concept of high fives. Charity feels included in the group for the first time, and accepts the high five.

Mr Pickles, ignoring all this, tells Kessler to trust him - this is a good idea. She finally agrees. Mr Pickles leads her into the ritual chambers and performs the ritual. Upon casting, a curious creature emerges from the portal created. It looks like a tiny clockwork beholder.

Mr. Pickles asks if Melaina wants a familiar - “Uhhh yes please that sounds awesome.”

She can choose which aminal she wants and let the DM know as and when, but she can add the spell now.

Joe goes to move on - and Sophie suddenly knows what she wants: “Weasel! Weasel!”

Weasel it is. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2CTVqt2wxU

Mr Pickles can’t help us with finding a suitable book; he will think on it. Will we be around for a while?

Do we have to sort of guess which books they have at Candlekeep already, or do they have a published catalogue?

There is some sort of divination magic we can use to discern whether or not they have a particular book. They will take annotated copies if they’re interesting, or first edition copies, of books they already have.

Tarragon makes a Perception check - the black cat is sitting at the entrance to the temple, watching.

Tarragon waves to the cat - it raises its paw. It stretches, then lopes slowly toward her.

“By the gods but you are stupid!” says the cat, aloud, in Common. “I have been trying to get your attention for ages! Come to the shrines of nature!”

Tarragon says she will go along at some point today, and the cat leaves.

“Well now, run along,” says Mr. Pickles, lighting his pipe.

He says as we leave that he has something special for Ahleqs if we do well.

We go to the shrines of nature. (Ahleqs at least will come with; it sounds nice and relaxing.)

Charity and Melaina get chatting; after a while Charity notes, “I think this is the most we’ve spoken, you know.”

Melaina, immediately: “Fuck off.”

We arrive at the shrines of nature - Amithrel, the High Druidess, approaches us. She says she has been speaking to her colleagues about Tansy. Some have heard about this type of curse or poison before - there is a book that might be of benefit. She says the cat told her that we might be travelling to Candlekeep soon? This would be a perfect opportunity.

It involves a ritual cast on the heartstone that Melaina gave Tarragon. It’s in a book of ancient rituals and spells. It fell into the hands of a lore keeper and ended up in Candlekeep. The monks likely won’t part with it, so Tarragon will have to find a way of copying it.

Mr Pickles is going to give us the title of the book he wants us to borrow. The High Druidess can’t remember the name of the druid who told her about the book, but he will be coming here soon. Are we okay with waiting a few days for him to arrive, before we leave for Candlekeep?

Yeah, we need to find a book to give the monks anyway.

Amithrel asks if we’ve thought about how we’re going to get to Candlekeep. It’s about 900 miles by land. The best way to make the journey would be by boat; didn’t we have a friend with a boat? Didn’t he look like this guy (Charity) but ‘infinitely more handsome’? Perhaps we could contact him, he has friends at the Docks Ward who could get a message to him.

We could charter a boat, couldn’t we? Charity asks, clearly reluctant about contacting Gunna. Might be a little expensive, though. But Gunna was pretty clear that he was off doing family things, he might not want to come back just to ferry us along the Sword Coast. If he’s two weeks out, it’ll take him two weeks to come back, Charity points out. 

Ahleqs thinks we should either buy passage or gain employment as protection on a ship. Or we could ask Larissa, maybe she could get us passage?

Speaking of Lord Walrus, does Charity have anything he needs to be getting on with? He says if we’re near the Dagger he’ll go and look for some books and - the thing… (no idea what that means. Oh! Probably the Harper mission from Mirt.)

We head back to the Dagger and Charity and Carl excuse themselves to go off and look for ‘stuff’.

Kessler goes to the Watchful Order to see if they have any books that might be suitable. Ahleqs accompanies her. We just need to borrow one, right?

No, it would have to stay at Candlekeep.

Melaina: “Well they’re not called CandleBorrow.”

Charity puts his head back in the door to the Dagger to ask Gideon if he would like to accompany him and Carl on his mission to find a talking horse. Wait, what?

Gideon agrees, apparently not needing to ask any kind of follow-up questions. Where is this horse? Charity says it’s pulling around some kind of dray. (A wagon or cart type thing.)

Gideon asks Ria about drays; who around here might own one?

Ria says there are some companies, and some independents who own one. They’re mostly to be found here, though they travel all over the city.

Ahleqs has the Urchin background, so he knows his way around cities - comes from always keeping his eyes peeled for escape routes. Sadly, he’s already gone to the Watchful Order with Kessler, so that’s of no help here.

Gideon and Charity go off in search of the talking horse. Goes by the name of Maxeene apparently.

Perhaps they could take a dray carriage on a tour around the city? Would be a good way to get to know their way around. Well, not much use if they’re looking for a particular horse, unless they happen to get the one dray that Maxeene pulls. 

Tarragon and Melaina saw Ahleqs and Kessler leave for the Watchful Order; they also see Gideon and Charity (and Carl) looking around the street and arguing heatedly. Tarragon goes back to her wine and Melaina plays excitedly with her new weasel; neither seem to care overmuch about what Brother Charity is doing.

Outside, Charity approaches a guard to ask about the dray. Where do they run to and from?

“Any particular service? They run the length and breadth of the city.”

Any that have violet flowers as their emblem? Or horses that wear a violet flower?

The guard looks at him funny. “Are you drunk?”

Charity makes a persuasion check - a 13.

The guard isn’t sure that any of the horses have taken to wearing flowers in their hair.

(This seems to be getting him nowhere; maybe Charity should look them up in the Yellow Parchments instead.)

He gives up and walks away from the guard. He doesn’t quite know how to talk to ‘the lower-downs’.

He and Gideon make Survival checks; Gideon spots some dray tracks.

“Onward!!”

He splats his way down the street, following the tracks which lead to the market. There are a lot of drays going to and fro; if they found a vantage point they might get a better chance at finding the one they’re after.

“Maxeene!” Gideon shouts, in desperation and to no avail. Can they get onto a roof? It’ll be a DEX check. Would that be untoward? Would people think he’s a loon?

Wait - the familiars! Gideon could send his flumph! He sits on a bench and instructs Charity not to let anyone pickpocket him, as he’ll be blind and deaf as he looks through the flumph’s eyes.

He whispers into his sleeve and sends out the flumph, warning it not to talk to strangers. Baby flumph makes a Perception check as it floats into the air. Gideon brains over the relevant information: A horse with a violet flower behind its left ear.

Through the flumph’s eyes, Gideon spots the horse in question. He points, but he’s seeing through the flumph and still sitting on the bench so he’s pointing at the ground.

Charity forgets that Gideon is deaf while he’s using this spell and demands to know what he’s pointing at.

(Matthew, OOC: “This whole scene is a combination of See No Evil Hear No Evil and Weekend at Bernie’s.”)

Gideon withdraws from the flumph’s vision and he and Charity go in search of the horse. They catch it up and Gideon walks alongside the dray and asks the driver what time he finishes; the driver says he’s not his type.

Is there room for three more on this dray? Gideon asks, ignoring this. The driver pulls to a halt and introduces himself as Marcus. He says yeah, we’ve got no passengers. Fare is 4 cp; Gideon throws him 12. They scatter; Marcus scrabbles around to pick them up and tells them begrudgingly to get on.

Another human already on the dray introduces himself as Morgan. He is Marcus’ brother, and he gives Gideon the tickets.

They ride around the city on the dray, while Marcus happily chatters away to them. They make Insight checks; if one of them keeps Marcus talking, the other might be able to make contact with Maxeene.

They decide instead to take a tour of the city. They spend a very pleasant afternoon, even stopping for sandwiches. Finally they reach the last stop. Do they ask to go along to the stables…? Would that be untoward? Marcus is looking at them like he’d like them to get off his dray now.

Gideon suggests posing as inspectors. Charity loves that idea, “but. We have taken the entire tour. That might be a hard sell. But it’s not a terrible idea.” He suggests following the dray after they get off, finding the stables, and then engaging Operation Pretending to be Inspectors.

Gideon gets up slowly because they’ve been sitting down for hours and he’s a creaky old dwarf, and hops off the dray. Charity tries to attract the attention of the horse, but it’s tricky. He makes a Performance check - a ten.

Maxeene looks at him blankly. She and the other horses are untied and led down the alley, but Charity and Gideon have seen the direction they went.

Matthew wants to go outside for a cigarette, so we cut back to Tarragon and Melaina; Melaina is mucking about with her weasel, and Tarragon is busy getting wine drunk. Over to the other group then…

Ahleqs and Kessler have gone to the Watchful Order (Mina is not responding so we pick up with Ahleqs until she returns).

He tells the librarian he is looking for esoteric knowledge. Could they direct him towards the rare book section?

Is he looking to buy rare books?

Potentially…

As a paid member he can read or borrow anything here, but they don’t sell stuff. The librarian can recommend a number of good bookshops. Some Guilds might deal in rarer volumes, too, she adds... 

Ahleqs makes an Insight check - 18. The librarian is hinting that thieves’ guilds or Xanathar might have something akin to what he’s looking for. Ahleqs is way out of his depth, but nods as if he knows what’s going on.

He will peruse the shelves here anyway, he says.

Kessler pops back in and says that we recently did some work for someone who might be able to acquire rare books; what about Shanks? Perhaps her lot could steal to order? We might even get a discount on services if Melaina goes along on the job. (Sophie, enthusiastically: “Yeah!”)

Matthew is back from smoking now so we pick back up with Charity, Carl and Gideon.

It’s early evening by now. There are people around, they are still in the vicinity of the market. Charity finds a door to the stables, but it’s locked. He makes an Investigation check and rolls a 19. He could probably pick it without too much trouble but he doesn’t have thieves’ tools. They could go and get Melaina…?

(Sophie OOC: “Just text me.”)

Charity is reluctant to ask ‘the elf’ for help. She’ll just say no. Well she won’t say no, she’ll say ‘fuck off’. He asks Gideon to go, as she’s more likely not to swear at him.

“What? No! We can do this by ourselves! There must be a way. Is there an open window or something…?” Gideon looks for anything that doesn’t involve lock picks or asking the elf for help. Does he perhap have a spell…?

He looks for a spare key under a bucket by the door or something. He makes an Investigation check and gets a 22 - he spies a key on top of the doorway! He points it out to Charity who reaches up and grabs it. Gideon arcana checks the door to see if it’s trapped; it is not. Well, not magically, anyway.

They enter the stable. There are four horses in here - one of which has a violet flower behind her left ear.

“Maxeene,” Brother Charity whispers. She looks at him but doesn’t respond. He shows her the Harper button. She greets him and asks what she can do for him.

He says he has been sent on a mission and introduces himself, Carl and Gideon. He is here looking for information, and has been told that Maxeene might know about agents in hiding with ‘an unpronounceable name’. Would she be so kind as to let him know what she knows, and Charity is willing to pay for the information.

DM, laughing: “Are you offering the horse money…?”

Matthew, OOC: “Nah, like sugar lumps or something.”

Maxeene tells him that sugar lumps are bad for the teeth.

“I know that, I’m a doctor.”

Gideon, scoffing: “No you aren’t!”

Charity, miffed: “Bloody well am.”

Maxeene interrupts the squabble to say that she gave a ride to a sun elf and a half orc two days ago, dropping them at the Yawning Portal. They spoke of planting agents in the guild, in a weird way. The Xanathar guild, their enemies. They might be Zent agents.

Charity makes notes on his letter, while Carl holds the ink pot for him in his open hand.

Maxeene says he could seek them out at the Yawning Portal.

DM: “Kessler might know about tha - ”

Gideon, immediately: “No! We don’t need any help from the goblin!”

After some History checks, they know that the Yawning Portal is a famous tavern in Waterdeep. There was a tower that exploded, now it’s a portal to the Undermountain. Famous tourist attraction. Lots of adventurers pay money to be lowered down the hole to seek their fortunes.

This is starting to sound like more than a two-person adventure...

Gideon asks Maxeene why a horse of her ability is pulling a carriage? She is an agent for the Harpers, she tells him. You get to see all sorts in her line of work. (The irony.)

Charity says he thinks his job is done - apparently all Mirt wanted was to know what Maxeene knew.

But wait! Charity has a plan. He thinks they should go to the Yawning Portal and ask around. But in order to forestall any investigations, they should disguise themselves. How would Gideon feel about dyeing his beard to pass himself off as a different dwarf? He supposes he could. (Charity pulls out a little bottle that says ‘Just for Dwarves’ on it.)

Charity rubs some boot polish into Gideon’s beard, and they set off for the Yawning Portal. Wait - they need names!

Gideon, after a short pause: “Sledge Rock-Eater.” And what about Brother Charity? “Human names, human names… Paul?”

Charity says he will go with ‘Timothy’. (Is that a Tal’Doreian name?)

Before they go in, Charity suggests that Carl wait for them in an alleyway. He casts Disguise Self to look like a ‘cribbly old man’ (direct quote) and plops his wig on his head. (He could have given himself hair with Disguise Self, but anyway.) He also has ‘a manky eye and a hump’.

Does Gideon have a weapon? He blusters. “I use magic, I don’t usually bonk things.”

Carl offers his mace; “It’s all yours,” he says, the first words we’ve ever known him to speak - something that seems to pass everyone by.

(The scene that follows is not easily captured in text form which is a shame, as much of the nuance and high comedy - not to mention the abominable accents - are completely lost. My apologies to Thunderbuns and Ross Kemp.)

They enter the Yawning Portal. Trophies line the walls, and there is a big hole in floor into which people are being lowered on a rope. The bards here are really good, and obviously well paid.

They start to look around for a half orc and a sun elf who are together. Charity spots a balcony that runs around the edge of the main tap room. From his position he can see a male sun elf standing talking to a female half orc. That seems promising. They are hoping to get their names, and to find out if they are Zent agents.

Publicly, the Zent mercenary guild have a respectable face but they have a shady reputation. They are called the Black Network in underground circles, and most don’t trust their intentions. They undercut the prices of other mercenary guilds. They’ve been at war with Xanathar’s guild, who are also fighting with the Shadow thieves.

Charity, getting ready to make his move: “What was your name again, Thunderbuns?” He suggests dropping Xanathar’s name in a negative way as they walk by, initiating a conversation and seeing what they can glean.

Charity gets fully into character as Ross Kemp as he orders whiskey for himself and Gideon at the bar. It costs 2 copper, but he flicks the barmaid a silver piece and tells her to ‘buy herself summink pretty’. She winks and stuffs the silver piece into her cleavage.

Charity slams the whiskey and makes the face that people who aren’t used to drinking whiskey make. A couple of people at a nearby table notice and start to laugh; Ross Kemp points to the glass and tries to insist that it was ‘the shit stuff’. It’s unclear whether they believe him or not, but it seems unlikely.

Right, time for phase two.

They go up to the balcony, talking shit about Xanathar’s guild in the worst cockney accents anyone has ever heard. The half orc girl is picking at her nails with a dagger and looks up to warn them to watch what they’re saying.  

Charity tells her he is looking to get revenge on Xanathar and his Guild - “They’ll rue the day they crossed Timothy P Fuckapple!”

(Duncan is crying with laughter by this point, and we’re all not far behind him)

The sun elf says if he buys them a drink, will they go and drink it somewhere else?

Timothy P Fuckapple asks gruffly if they would be open to a game of cards…?

The sun elf, looking down his nose: “Absolutely not.”

Timothy P. Fuckapple/Ross Kemp: “What if I sweeten the deal with a bit of cheddar cheese, by which I do mean money?”

Still no.

Timothy says he was told that if a person wanted revenge on Xanathar then they should find two individuals who look like the elf and the orc, but clearly he has been misinformed.

The elf asks, do they have business with the Zent? Are they wanting to hire mercenaries?

Thunderbuns: “No - we wanted to join.”

The elf falls about with laughter. “Did you hear that, Yagra? These buffoons want to join!”

They have a name! Thank fuck for that…

Thunderbuns has an idea, and says he will bet the elf a gold piece that Timothy can guess his name. The elf sighs. “Fine, if you will leave inside a minute.”

Timothy makes his guess - “Silver Frond!” he says, confidently.

“No. My name is Davil Starsong, as anyone here could have told you.” Thunderbuns dutifully hands the elf a gold piece.

“And this here is Yagra Stonefist - she will happily see you to the door.” Yagra pushes them both toward the door; they offer no resistance. They have both names, yes!

Charity writes the information he has discovered on the back of the paper crane, once out of sight in the alley. The crane takes flight and disappears.

And with that the buddy cop movie ends, as does the session. Duncan has two new abs from laughing. (I don’t think this is the last we’ve seen of Thunderbuns and Timothy P. Fuckapple.)

#dnd #thetradeway #campaign diary

[honourablejester]

D&D Monsters That I Love

A semi-random exploration of just some monsters/creatures from D&D (that aren’t dragons) that I love the concepts or the lore or the ideas of. Reading back over it, it does tend towards horror just a bit, but eh. Also includes oozes, because oozes. And flumphs, because flumphs.

Allip

Okay, so this is my love of cosmic/lovecraftian horror speaking, but. Allips. They’re the shattered spectral remains of creatures that learned what man was not meant to know, that found protected cosmic secrets and had their minds and bodies shattered by the knowledge and the powers that protected it, leaving only maddened spectres that wander the world trying to share the deathly insight that damned them. People who survive attacks from them can suffer strange dreams and fragments of knowledge, and compulsions to seek out more hints of the hidden secrets. And scholars can be essentially possessed by Allips, driven to write to the point of death, which allows the Allip itself to finally rest, but leaves its secrets hidden in the poor scholar’s manuscripts to shatter some other mind and create a new Allip in their wake.

… Look. Cosmic secrets we were not meant to know. Maddened spectres trying desperately to share the knowledge that destroyed them. Haunted manuscripts that spread knowledge and madness. I LOVE allips. So much. I would have a whole campaign about a team of librarian/scholars searching the world for allip manuscripts, both to gather them and protect the innocent from them, but also for the lure of forbidden knowledge. Perfect creature. I adore them.

Boneless

This is a perfectly appalling tiny monster and I love it. Someone animated the sloughed off skin of a corpse to make a horrible floppy boneless smothering thing. It’s horrific. The second I saw the art of it I said no. Excellent monster. Extremely illustrative of the necromancer that created it.

Cadaver Collector

Giant shambling robots that wander the world mindlessly collecting corpses and impaling them on their armour, who can summon the ghosts of said corpses to defend themselves. That’s just. I mean. The lore that they’re originally from hell and summoned to collect the dead of war is also cool, but I feel you can uncouple them from that and just make … a giant question of a creature for people to encounter. Like. Why? What tragedy created this lumbering horrific echo of a being? What was it made for? By who? There are giant, absolutely lethal robots wandering the world just … collecting bodies. For reasons. What a thing to put in a world.

If you gave it more intelligence, you’d have a hell of an existential question of an existence, too. A cadaver collector that woke up and realised what it was doing. That’d be a thing.

Coldlight Walker

The imagery of these undead is just fantastic. Frozen corpses in the snow that get up and start walking again, the baleful glare of their deathly light shining from furred hoods. Just A+++ imagery. My dad read us The Cremation of Sam McGee as kids, it’s possible it warped some things, but I adore the picture of the snow fields and the blizzards and the auroras and the glowing hateful walkers appearing from the snow. Perfect.

Flumph

They’re cheerful psychic jellyfish who jet around the Underdark looking for good vibes. They change colours like a mood ring. They’re named after the sound they make propelling themselves through the air. They live in psychic communes just vibing with each other, and feed by taking little sips from people’s mental energy. They often get stuck feeding on dark monsters just because many psions in D&D are shades of evil, so then they go hovering around looking for nice people to inform so they can clear the bad vibes out for them. What is not to love about them? Flumphs are the tiny little psychic hippies of the aberration world, cheerful little hovering jellyfish people who make flumph noises as they zoom around. They’re delightful. I want a flumph friend RL right now.

Gelatinous Cube

Okay. Put it this way. My sister came up to me and said she’d found a toy/figurine of my favourite D&D monster, and I started saying ‘which one?’ before instantly going ‘an ooze? a gelatinous cube!’. It was, in fact, a gelatinous cube. So even RL people know that I just really love oozes. And this particular ooze was my first, all the way back playing a computer game called Castle of the Winds as a kid. What is it about oozes that I love? I could not tell you. But I do. These weird creatures just schlorping around the world, minding their own business and devouring things. Living in sewers and caves and hoovering up all the organic detritus of the world. The gelatinous cube as this invisible, tunnel-sized piece of mobile digestive fluid that occasionally just absorbs passers-by and starts digesting them. Why is it a cube? It’s a vaguely sentient collection of acidic goo, why is it a shape with edges, instead of something sensible like a sphere or even just a blob? Because, out of universe, it needed to fully fill a square on the game grid. But in universe? Who knows. Because people build square tunnels? Because it’s extremely rudimentary intellect finds it a satisfying shape to exist in? How does a gelatinous cube experience the world? We just don’t know.

I love oozes. Seriously. They feel like such parts of an ecosystem. A magic-infested one, sure, but an ecosystem nonetheless. They’re the cleaners of the universe. They schlorp around eating things, and that’s their life. If you build a sewer, they will come along and schlorp in it. I love them.

Hollyphant

It’s a tiny golden flying divine elephant. I don’t know what to tell you. They’re adorable. And, yes, highly intelligent and good-hearted and stalwart defenders against evil, and I feel a little bit bad and condescending when I think this, but my brain really does get stuck on adorable. One of its attacks is called Trumpet of Sparkles (which, mind you, does decent radiant damage, but still). And, yes, it can also transform into a considerably less tiny flying golden mammoth, but. They’re really really really really cute. And I really do get stuck on it.

Let’s just say, if you put a hollyphant down in front of me in a game, I would die for them on the spot, no questions asked. And if any creature ever hurt a hollyphant in my presence, I would murder them on the spot, or I would die trying. Picture that meme of Rosa from B99 with her puppy.

Nightwalker

Going back to horror now. I adore the lore of the Nightwalker. I have no idea why it struck me so strongly, but it’s fascinating. The Negative Plane, this realm of raw antilife, this inimical place. If you get too close to it, if you try to siphon its power, or perhaps try to enter it, that absolute idiotic extreme of the need to know and explore, and somehow survive, at least for a time, then you are sucked into and trapped inside the plane, and this thing emerges to replace you. This 20ft tall midnight giant, this spectre of walking death that annihilates anything in its aura. The Nightwalker. And it’s connected to you. It’s drawn to the parts of this new, lively world that mean something to you. You have, in your foolishness or ill-luck, unleashed a raw force of death on all that you love, while you yourself are trapped in a plane of death and cannot emerge unless the Nightwalker bound to you is lured back to the Negative Plane. If it is destroyed, you are doomed.

And it’s not particularly intelligent. It doesn’t really come from a place that has a lot of need for intelligence. It just explores and destroys the world you’ve brought it to out of vague curiosity and the echoes of your passions. It’s just … such a terrible, childlike expression of your hubris or your ill-fortune. You have brought death, raw and childlike and inimical to all it encounters.

I just like the Nightwalker. Its lore. I like it a lot.

Oblex

To go back and finish on an ooze. Because oozes. And the Oblex is such a cool ooze. There’s a bit of the flumph in there, a bit of a similar theme, but oh, so much darker. Oblexes eat memories. And can then use those memories to create (extrude) a duplicate of the person, a puppet on a slimy string, to lure other meals in. It’s such an amazing cosmic horror/B-movie sci-fi sort of creature. You go into a roadside inn, and the barmaid and several of the patrons smell slightly sulphurous but you don’t pay too much attention to it, and then when you go upstairs to rest some horrifying red jelly creature grabs you in your sleep and tries to eat your memories so it can add your duplicate to the puppet show downstairs. IDK, it’s just cool. The perfect mini-adventure of a creature, a complete horrifying little wayside story to stumble across. It’s an ooze, an intelligent ooze, a sentient lump of jelly, that eats memories. That hungers for minds to feed on. And if it gets too big, eats too many, becomes too bloated on other minds and other memories and other dreams, then it spawns more of itself to split the load. A single oblex is terrifying enough, but if it gets too established, too well-fed, then you potentially have a much greater problem on your hands. I have watched that movie, and I will play that game!

In conclusion? Oozes. Also horror fantasy. And cute elephants. Heh.

#d&d #monsters #oozes #undead #flumphs #and one celestial #babbling

[elsalapizza]

i had the best dnd game monday night and i just wanted to write it down somewhere so that i never forget it.

it began of course with internet problems (thanks to me living in the middle of nowhere) and i wasn’t able to create my character sheet on roll20 so i had to build my character on the base of a blue-tentacled monster called flumph. In its honor, I named my dwarf bard Flumph the Magnificent and gave her a blue beard.

along with a very dumb and hilarious leonin barbarian (basically a very, very big cat) and a halfling warlock butler who was sold away for stealing from his masters, our goal for the game was to do whatever we needed to get free from the slavers owning us.

We started with an arena battle where i rolled such good performance that the entire audience was chanting flumph flumph flumph in rhythm with the sound of my bagpipe, and my companions did an even better job of utterly destroying our opponents.

we were then sold to a high elf woman and became very quickly fast friends with her servants, a one-legged gnome named Piedsplats (flatfeet) who was so unused to people being nice to him that he accepted to accompany us in the dungeon our owner wanted us to raid to find the mcguffin of the game (even though he was scared shitless).

(the dungeon was quite awesome as we had to make a knock knock joke to pass one of the first doors)

and then came the first real fight where we got our asses absolutely handed to us and our barbarian tragically got so dead only ashes were left of his body

the halfling warlock made an absolutely beautiful speech including all the nonsense our dead friend had said during his short life with us and we went on our way to find the mcguffin, with myself severly injured

in one of the rooms with visited after that we were all separately asked if we were willing to sacrifice ourselves for our party. given that i still had some ashes from the barbarian in my pocket and was very emotionally attached to Piedsplats i said yes pretty emphatically and we all did

our next major encounter was a skeleton with a deck of many things. you KNOW we could not NOT draw any

the warlock drew the first one and drew the one that give you a knight in your service, and we were joined by the very dashing Alfonso

Piedsplats was the next to draw and got immediately reduced to ashes in a very traumatic way, so I hurried to draw next by declaring that i would save Piedsplats at any cost and was incredibly lucky enough to get the card that grant you wish spells (and i got 3 of them!!)

so OF COURSE i use my first one right away to make Piedsplats draw any other card and it works! he comes back and draws one that makes the little guy stronger, EXCEPT the DM makes me roll for a Bad Consequence, and from then, if i use any spell, I get 1d10 necrotic damage per spell level (at this point i’m at 7 hp left)

the next encounter is of course the final boss. Poor Alfonso gets sent ahead and gets dead pretty much immediately. Without the possibility to use any spell, I try to use the minor illusion and message cantrips to make the baddy believe the mcguffin is still in its possession (it does not work). the warlock is still pretty healthy but Piedsplats gets dead too, so on my next turn i do the only thing i can think of doing.

I have two dead friends, one dead just-minted ally, no way to use a spell without dropping, a promise i made that i would sacrifice myself if need be, and 2 wish spells left. I wish for the warlock and the barbarian to never have been captured by the slavers.

the warlock tells me he would never forget it i say, “except you will”

the last scene is the warlock at his former employer’s house just before he commits the theft, deciding not to and hearing his heartbeat doing a small flumph flumph flumph sound.

#dungeons and dragons #dnd #dnd story #dnd storytime #dungeons and dragons story #me myself & i #this is miiiine

[dmsden]

Monster of the Month – the Flumph

Hullo, Gentle Readers. As we get into March, I’m preparing to celebrate my 50th birthday…which exactly coincides with 40 years of playing D&D, since I got my original D&D boxed set for my 10th birthday. I like to use March as my chance to write articles about some of my favorite topics, and I’ve chosen to celebrate one of my favorite ridiculous D&D monsters – the Flumph. As always, big thanks to Scott “K-9” Fabianek for the original artwork. He made this silly critter look great!

I’m super excited that this month, a Flumph miniature will be available in the new Dungeon of the Mad Mage miniatures set. I’ve always had a special place in my heart for this oddball creature, ever since it first popped up back in the original Fiend Folio. It was just too bizarre not to love. I was tickled pink when we recently saw a production of She Kills Monsters which included a flumph during one of its combat sequences. It tried to get the monsters to talk about their issues until one of the heroes turned it upside down, causing it to wail, “Oh, no, why would you do this? It’s my one weakness. Noooo!!!” I was laughing so hard, and a number of my less D&D savvy friends looked at me a little funny.

So how does one use flumphs in one’s campaign? Well, interestingly, they’re aberrations, which means that they very likely originate from the Far Realm, along with Mind Flayers, Aboleths, Grells, and the like. It’s not hard to imagine; they’re very tentacle-y, as many aberrations are. But how does such a nice (Lawful Good) monster come from a place that otherwise spews out madness and horror?

Well, in my campaign, the answer lies with a race that originated in the Eberron campaign setting – the kalashtar. As you might recall from my Legends of the Shattered Pact article about them, the kalashtar of my campaign are humans who are inhabited by Far Realm entities that fled from the Far Realm to my campaign world as refugees. Flumphs are likely more of the same. Perhaps the Far Realm was more of a plane of raw possibility than one of madness. As powerful enclaves of creatures slowly tilted the balance towards the insanity that the Far Realm has become, creatures like the kalashtar and flumphs escaped to safer, kinder worlds.

I would not intentionally build a combat encounter around flumphs. Not only are they really nice creatures, but they’re not very strong combatants. Their mildly acidic tentacles aren’t likely to be a match for most adventurers, and their ability to cause a stench is probably better used to make a creature’s life miserable while the flumph escaped. I would, instead, prefer to make encounters with them more about role-play and negotiation.

I think it might be fun to make flumphs a bit like the hanar from Mass Effect (who seem very much to be inspired by flumphs). Since they change colors based on their emotions,  I would role-play their voices as very soft and monotone, perhaps a bit like an automated voice system, and then announce that the flumph had changed to a specific color. Over time, the players could get to understand the emotions that a flumph’s different colors conveyed (which don’t necessarily have to reflect human emotions, or colors we ascribe to emotions, like going pale with fear or red with anger.)

Flumphs thrive off of powerful psionic energies, so they are generally found near more evil and dangerous entities, such as mind flayers and aboleths. This means that you could use them as a warning device for adventurers. If you see flumphs, you should worry about what else might be around. They could trade information, helping the PCs to wipe out whatever evil is lurking about. Unfortunately, this might cause the flumphs to starve, unless they can find another source of psionics around. They may also become natural friends to any psionic adventurers, if you have a githzerai or githyanki character, or are using the Mystic playtest rules.

One entertaining idea I’ve had is to have a flumph set up its own “dungeon” with puzzles and such, which it asks the PCs to try, rewarding them with treasures or information its collected. The flumph could travel alongside the party, variously portraying the character of the dungeon’s evil overlord, but then complimenting and praising the party as they proceed. It could be building up, telling them about the horrible monster that awaits, only to have it reveal a chamber with some giant rats or something. “The dragon is actually rats. They are very frustrating and try to bite me. Could you please make them leave? You don’t have to kill them…just convince them to leave.” It would be fun to see the players being good sports and helping, then maybe having to actually fight a monster. “Oh…this is not my basilisk. I’m so very sorry!”

I hope you’ll take a new look at the humble flumph. It’s a monster that’s so ridiculous, you can’t help but find a home for it in your game.

#d&d #D&D #d&d monsters #d&d 5e #d&d 5th edition #dnd #dnd monster #DnD stuff #DnD 5e #dnd 5th edition #dungeons & dragons #Dungeons and Dragons #dungeon master #DM advice #GM Advice

[lair-master]

i am writing a flumph-themed variant of the Great Old One otherworldly patron entitled the Great Old Flumph. nobody steal this please

#warlock #dungeons and dragons #dnd #d&d #dungeons & dragons #flumph #otherworldly patron #funcharacterideas