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ashwhowrites · 2 years

Note

Can I request an angst to fluff Eddie story where Eddie is an oblivious little golden retriever and his girlfriend hates/loves that about him? He starts dealing to Chrissy who then starts hanging around more, starts changing her style to be more like Eddie and also his girlfriend, breaks up with Jason, and then suddenly is everywhere. Eventually the reader loses it in front of everyone when Chrissy goes a little far with her flirting and Eddie tells the reader she's being dramatic. To him that's his girl, his soul mate and he even plans on proposing after graduation. He doesn't even think of other girls. The reader is hurt he dismissed her in front of everyone and feels like he chose Chrissy, and Chrissy thinks she won because Eddie chose her. Then the next day Eddie doesn't pick up the reader for school like he usually does, instead he shows up late with Chrissy in his passenger seat. The final offense though? Is when Chrissy sees the reader looking and grabs Eddie and kisses him. Now Eddie realizes his girlfriend fears were very valid and now he's not sure if he can fix this, but he will move heaven and earth for just a shot at forgiveness.

(This got super long, and I really didn't mean for it to 😂 you can totally cut it down or change whatever you want. I don't really care I just really enjoy your angst to fluff.)

Yes, you may ask for a request!

Thank you so much for requesting and enjoying my work :)

And details are always helpful! If this is not what you wanted, let me know so I can rewrite it. ( Alternative ending in master-list - still ends with her going back so fair warning)

Master-list

Y/N has been smitten with Eddie since she met him in her sophomore year. He was confident, charming, funny, and so hot. It was very easy for them to become friends as they had a lot in common. They enjoyed the same bands and laughed at how many of the same shirts they had. They have an equal number of records all over their rooms. Both have a hidden stash of weed in their drawers. It was like they were meant for each other.

Eddie was obsessed the second she walked up to him. Her Metalicia shirt was cropped, and small bleach stains were scattered. He smiled, knowing he had one just like it in his closet. But when he started to get to know her, he was so dead. He thinks he already loves her since the first day. and just kept falling. when she asked to join DnD and was somehow better than he was. He knew he was going to marry her.

During Y/N's junior year, she spent the whole time trying to make moves on Eddie. She cringed at how obvious her schoolgirl crush was, but he either wasn't getting the hint or did not like her.

Every morning when he picked her up, she had a big smile on her lips and a touch on his knee (that got higher each day): "Wow, Eddie, those jeans frame your thighs so well." She even fucking winked. He smiled and drove on, like she had not said a word.

Then, when they went to the pool, she did not bother to hide her staring. "Eds, your tattoos are always so fucking hot to see when you are on full display." She even trailed her fingers over the design. And nothing. He blushed and basically walked away.

She decided to bite the bullet and ask him on a date. If he said no, then at least she knew where he stood.

When Eddie saw Y/N walking up to him with purpose in her eyes, he had no idea what to think.

"Okay, Eds, I have the house to myself this weekend; want to rent some movies and hang out?" She twirled a piece of her hair with her finger. batted her eyelashes as she looked up at him. A smile lit up his face. "Of course, I'll go tell the group." Before she could correct him, he took off.

She signed, "I meant just us."

"So Y/N has the house to herself, so movie night at her place." Eddie announced as he walked into the video store.

"She never asked me." Robin protested, and Steve agreed.

"Well, maybe she just thought I'd tell you." Eddie shrugged.

"Well, did she tell you to ask us?" Steve said, "She always asks us."

"Well, no, but I just figured." He shrugged again. What is with the questions?

"Dude, you are telling me Y/N told you she has the house to herself, invites you for a movie night, and you think she wants us there?" Robin pipped me with an eye roll.

"Dude, she was so hitting on you." Steve smacked him on the shoulder.

"No, she is just friendly; she does not like me." Eddie responded back, but Robin was quick with an answer.

"Eddie, she does not flirt with anyone but you."

When he showed up at her house that night, alone, she was confused.

"I thought you asked the group?"

"someone told me the intention was for this to be a date?" He asked with a shy smile pointed towards her.

"Yeah, but I get it. You make it quite clear you do not like me."

"Why would you say that?" He asked confusedly; he loved her.

"I flirt with you, and you ignore me. I ask you on a date, and you ask the group. It's okay, though. We can just be best friends."

"You never flirted with me." He was even more confused.

"Eddie, when a girl is touching your knee, complimenting everything you wear, winking at you, touching your chest, batting her eyelashes, and twirling her hair, you know she's into you."

That night she finally kissed him, and he finally understood the feelings were mutual.

Now that it is senior year for the couple, they are more in love than ever.

Y/N was a bit more on the tough side, and Eddie was soft. She hated new people, but Eddie wanted to welcome everyone with open arms.

Being with Eddie meant watching people take advantage of his kindness. He is quite oblivious to the intentions of people around him. I mean, it took him two years to see she liked him. She loved and hated that about him.

And right now, the hating side has been flicked on.

Chrissy Cunnignham has been following her boyfriend around like a lap dog. It started with a deal. And Y/N thought that was the end of it, but she kept showing up.

Eddie and Y/N snuck out to the parking lot to each take their lunch together in the back of the van. They sat in comfortable silence when a voice cut in,

"OMG, Eddie! "There you are; I have been looking for you." Y/N rolled her eyes at the high pitched voice. Eddie smiled at the girl, and Y/N hated the jab that landed in her gut.

"Just having lunch with my girl, what's up?" She smiled at the fact that he reminded her that he, in fact, does have a girlfriend. Because Chrissy likes to forget that piece of information.

"Huge party this weekend; I want to invite you," Chrissy said to Eddie and Eddie only. Her eyes never drifted from his brown ones.

Eddie looked over to Y/n with a question in his eyes.

"Baby, want date night at a party?" She did not want to spend her night with Eddie at a party, but if he wanted to go, she would suck it up. She gave him a nod.

"We will be there."

After the little run in with Chrissy at lunch, Y/N felt a tad bit sour. She knows Eddie is hers, and Eddie only wants her, but that insecurity was settling in.

She shook it off and headed to Hellfire. She and Eddie are now partners in leading the campaigns. Her seat was always next to Eddie, so a huge scowl landed on her face when she saw a familiar ponytail sitting next to Eddie in her seat.

"Chrissy, welcome, but that is my seat." Y/N said it as nicely as she could.

"Oh well, I would prefer to sit next to Eddie." She giggled as she looked at Eddie.

Eddie was once again oblivious to Chrissy's disinterest in their relationship.

"Well, I do not care; I would prefer to sit in my own seat with my boyfriend." She did not care to be polite now.

The group was walking in behind them but stopped at the tension in the room.

"Well, if Eddie wants me to move, then I will move." Chrissy bit back, and she crossed her arms.

One thing about Eddie is that he does not like to say no to people, and he does not like to hurt people's feelings, except apparently his girlfriends'.

"Baby, don't be so dramatic; it's just a seat. The spare chair is in the closet." Eddie smiled softly, truly believing he could easily fix the situation. Chrissy cheered.

The boys gasped at his response. Dusitn went to say something, but Y/N gave him a look. With the biggest breath she could manage, she grabbed the chair and placed it next to Gareth. Her boyfriend could fuck off.

Eddie frowned in her direction, but his attention quickly returned to Chrissy when she asked questions about the campaign.

Y/N rolled her eyes every time Chrissy would cheer on Eddie.

"Look, if you want to cheer so goddamn bad, why not go to practice?" Y/N snapped. Dustin tried to hide his laugh.

"Babe, no need to be rude. She is having fun; if you are going to sit there and be mean, you should just go." Y/N felt steam coming out of her ears. Did he seriously just tell her to go home?

She bit back her response and clenched the dice in her hand. It was going to be a long night.

It got even worse. The news that Chrissy dumped Jason traveled fast.

Y/N had her theories of why this breakup happened so suddenly, but Eddie, of course, just wanted to help.

"Chrissy You deserve so much better. You will find someone perfect for you. I know it."

Y/N felt like her eyes never stopped rolling. She shot a glare at the back of Eddie's head as he hugged Chrissy.

It was the night of the party, and the couple was heading to the front door.

"We shouldn't have come. All she wants to do is flirt with you and act like you don't have a girlfriend."

"She knows we are together, and she is not flirting. She just wants a friend so be nice," Eddie warned as Chrissy opened the door with a smile and only pointed to Eddie.

Y/N felt her blood boil when Chrissy laced her hand into Eddie's and yanked him out of Y/N's grasp, dragging him into the house. Eddie's head turned quickly to his girlfriend, "Babe." He said it with a smile as he used his free hand to reach for her.

Y/N was very close to either killing Chrissy or Eddie. She understood that Eddie had no idea what was going on. He doesn't know Chrissy has been flirting with him for days. But she wanted to scream at him for being so stupid.

She was dancing with Eddie, finally having fun since Chrissy got occupied with hosting. Her hands were in his hair, their hips grinding into each other, and matching smiles took over their faces. They were lost in each other, making out in the middle of the floor. This is what she missed about Eddie—being with him in this way. He has been so busy with Chrissy that she feels like she's been pushed to the back burner.

"Can we talk?" She asked loudly into his ear. He pulled away, worried, and walked her out to the backyard.

They stood on the grass and passed a joint back and forth.

"I don't want to be that girlfriend that controls you or picks who you are friends with. But this thing with Chrissy needs to either be talked about or stopped. I am not comfortable with how she flirts with you, how she touches you, and how she always needs your attention."

"Babe, I told you there was nothing going on." He sighed

"I do not care if there is nothing going on; it is the fact that she is trying to make something happen, and you will not shut it down. I know you think everyone is just being friendly, but I am your girlfriend, and if I am telling you that I feel our relationship is being neglected, you should be working this out with me, not trying to tell me I'm making shit up. I bite my tongue a lot, but the times that it splits, you turn on me. You tell me to leave it alone and go home. Do you know how embarrassing that is? and seeing her smug smile because she's winning."

Y/N noticed her friend Robin making her way out to the yard with Steve following behind. Robin could easily sense the tension, and she knew Chrissy had been a pain in Y/N's ass, so she could imagine what was going on.

"She is not winning! There is no fight or competition. You are my girlfriend, not her. So I don't see why we are having to talk about this. Why would I want to even try with her when I have you? Just get over this insecurity and jealousy so we can move on from it."

Robin, Steve, and Y/N's mouths dropped. Chrissy once again popped up with a big smile.

"I'm feeling some tension here; maybe we should take a breather." Chrissy offered adviced as she put her hand on Eddie's back. That's when Y/N snapped.

"Get your fucking hands off of my boyfriend!" Eddie was quick to jump in front of Chrissy as Y/N marched towards her.

"Seriously, you need to calm down. You are embarrassing yourself and me."

Y/N felt every piece of anger leave, filled with hurt. It was like Eddie wasn't even himself. He was replaced with the shell.

"I pour my heart out to you. I tell you why I am upset with everything going on. And you first told me I was insecure and jealous, and now you are fucking protecting her? Are you saying I'm embarrassing you? What's embarrassing is how she chases you around. how she dumped her boyfriend just to try to snag you. She's fucking wearing a Metallica shirt, Eddie! with fucking black boots. I have almost the same outfit in my closet. She wants you! Why can't you fucking see that?"

Eddie honestly did not know what to say.

"Let's take you home." Robin said as she grabbed Y/N's hand.

Y/N was hurt, but he didn't bother to say anything, didn't bother to stop her, and never bothered to follow her to Robin's car.

He just stayed; he stayed with her.

Y/N took the time away from Eddie to breathe. She needed some space. So she waited until Monday to talk to him when he picked her up.

The only problem was that he never showed up. She begged Steve for a ride, and he said yes without hesitation.

She was relieved to see she made it on time. But her breath of relief hitched when she saw his van pull up with her in the passenger seat. She watched as they climbed out. Eddie looked like he was in the middle of a huge rant, then Chrissy's eyes caught hers.

If looks could kill, they would have murdered each other.

Y/N started to walk towards them, intent on calling them out, but she froze in her spot at Chrissy's next action.

"Okay, I think we need to take some space away from each other because if it makes my girlfriend uncomfortable, I need to respect that." Eddie explained as he pulled up into the parking lot and getting out of his van. He tried to call his girlfriend last night to tell her he was going to give Chrissy a ride to talk some things over, but she never answered.

"Eddie I don't get it. You had a fight, and she left, and you stayed with me. You obviously just showed her that you picked me. Respecting her wishes is all out the window now." Chrissy said as she peered over at her. an idea forming in her head. This was her chance to end their relationship once and for all.

Eddie went to protest when he felt her lips crash onto his. His eyes flew as wide as they could. He cringed at the feeling of sticky gloss coating his lips. He went to pull away, but her hand grabbed the back of his head to shove him closer. When he finally got himself free, he had no idea what had just happened. He was telling her they couldn't be friends, and she kissed him? That's when he noticed it; Chrissy was twirling her hair and batting her eyelashes, and he felt her touch in his chest.

"Oh fuck, you are flirting. Look I'm in love with Y/N so this will never happen" He stated as he pulled himself away. He messed up. His girlfriend told him over and over, and she was right. Chrissy didn't respect his relationship with Y/N. And he allowed himself to disrespect it in the same way.

He was quick to head towards the school, but that's when his eyes caught his favorite ones. She stood there, unmoving. Tears flowed down her face, her hand tightly holding her backpack strap. His heart dropped. She saw it. She saw her kiss him.

He went to move, but she was faster; she ran off into the building.

"BABY, WAIT!" he screamed as he ran after her. He followed her into the girls' bathroom; he didn't care.

She was sobbing into her hands on the floor. His heart shattered. He was quick to kneel in front of her. He grabbed her hands away from her face and wiped off her tears.

"Baby, I promise, I didn't kiss her. I didn't know she was going to do that. I'm so sorry. You have every right to be mad at me. You told me over and over, and I just chose not to believe you. It's just that I'm so goddamn in love with you that I don't even notice anyone else. I didn't notice her flirting because half the time I don't even notice her. I'm thinking about you. I'm sorry I called you insecure and jealous. You aren't; you were upset, and I should have made you feel better. "I promise with everything in me that I only want you, and I only want you for the rest of my life." He didn't notice that he began to cry too. He was so scared that he'd messed this up so badly that she'd leave.

"Please don't leave me, baby. I need you. Please don't," he was sobbing into her now. His face was tucked into her neck.

"I'm not going to leave you, baby." "I love you too," she said, kissing his cheek. She knew he understood his mistake now. And she also knew he was going to fix everything he cracked.

He pulled away with a sniffle. Red, puffy eyes met each other's on the bathroom floor. He leaned in for a kiss, but she pushed him back.

"Not until you get that 30¢ gloss off of you," she teased. He took it as seriously as he should have. and began to scrub the hell out of his lips. After about three washes, he went to her with a smile.

"Now?" He asked, and she nodded.

Their lips met in a needy kiss. Every once of love and passion was sent to one another.

As the couple walked out of the bathroom, they were definitely late for class now. Eddie spoke up.

"Just so you know, I'm marrying you."

~~~~~

Tags- @bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson

@sage-the-z0mbie

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson angst #eddie munson angst x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson fluff x reader #eddie munson request

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eyelessfaces · 10 months

Text

out of sight, out of mind

poe dameron x reader

this fic is the prequel to better safe than sorry. therefore it doesn't really matter if you haven't read it because it's a PREquel, but then you know what to read next :)

better safe than sorry masterlist

summary: saying that you're terrified at the idea of losing someone you love again is an understatement. poe dameron happens to be the most reckless person you know.

warnings: reader has trauma and ptsd, mentions of death, angst (I mean, a lot), mentions of injuries, alcohol consumption

tags: f!reader, absolute idiots in love, friends to lovers, poe is in love, reader makes questionable choices but she has trauma okay, poe is so very sweet in this and it has me screaming, fluff, hurt/comfort

word count: 7.1k (personal record for a one shot, wow)

huge thanks to @eatingyouryoung for beta reading and for motivating me, supporting me and most of all bearing with me and the multiple mental breakdowns I had while writing this. love you bestie, thank you, really. <3

masterlist | taglist | ao3

There are moments where it’s only those memories, only those flashbacks clouding your mind and filling up the space for any other thoughts in your head. It eats everything else and doesn’t leave room to breathe, it engulfs everything on its way.

It is impressive how just a few minutes can determine the rest of your life, it is impressive how fast it can eat up everything else that matters.

It can play in your head over and over again when it wants to, like somebody’s favorite holo movie, rewatched when you should be asleep after a long and tiring day, and sometimes you get flashes of it during the day, even if you’re busy and should not be thinking about something other than what you’re currently doing, as if the images were screaming at you that hey, they existed.

You knew all too well that they existed, and for some obscure reason, you didn’t want to forget them.

You should want them to fade away, to disappear completely, to vanish into oblivion until nothing is left of that day, but something inside of you sticks there, holds onto those few minutes and doesn’t want to let go.

You don’t want the images to shatter into pieces, you don’t want it to be pooling at your feet like something you know you’re never going to be able to put back together. You don’t want to let go of it, you don’t want to let go of your last memory of her.

These moments aren’t present really often, at least not as much as before, but when they are they’re omnipresent and always remind you of how afraid you are at even just the thought of losing someone again.

Right now is one of those moments, the images play in the back of your mind again, it has become a regular occurrence for them to manifest themselves at the least convenient moments. Maybe Jess was right, maybe you should go see a professional so they could help you manage the manifestation of those memories.

The only thing faintly keeping you connected to reality is Poe’s voice mixing with the scene inside your head as you watch him speak, and even though it’s muffled and his words are barely distinguishable, it’s your only anchor, and you know that if you focus hard enough, it will bring you right back where you are, in the briefing room where he’s explaining everything concerning how the previous mission went and how things could have gone easier for everyone, tactically speaking.

You do and it works, and you’re back just in time to catch Poe’s gaze sticking to yours, a small wink directed your way drawing a wide and foolish smile from you before he looks away, leaving a heat creeping up your cheeks.

You’re barely able to focus for the rest of the meeting because of that simple thing, making it so you haven’t listened to any of it at all.

He dismisses everyone, chatter filling the room before it emigrates out of it, and you wait for him to be done talking with someone and he joins you.

“Hey” he smiles, walking out the room beside you, his arm wrapping around you, his hand resting on your shoulder. “You okay?” he asks as he tilts his head to take a look at your face.

You hum positively, or you hope it sounds positive, and you look up at him with a small smile to prove your point. “Just tired” you shrug.

His lips pinch in a compassionate smile, and his hand shifts from your shoulder to bury into your hair.

"Wanna come over tonight?" he asks cocking an eyebrow. "Just you, me, a bottle and my quarters"

"Is it really that obvious that I'm not feeling well?" you ask stopping in your steps with a small sigh, looking up at him.

He snorts, shrugging. "Obvious I don’t know, but I know you better than yourself" he chuckles, his hand shifting to your arm so he can squeeze you against himself. "So is that a yes?"

"It sure is" you smile, and he mirrors it before leaving a kiss at the top of your head.

—

Your eyes are watery from the alcohol, and you can feel the dizziness starting to manifest itself as you can see that your vision is slowly starting to delay like a screen's bad frame rate.

"So" Poe starts, taking the bottle from your hands. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he asks finally coming to the subject you've been thoroughly avoiding before, taking care of telling him about your day.

He brings the bottle to his mouth, frowning at the small shrug you offer him in response. He swallows the liquid as he raises his chin at you, handing you back the bottle. “It’s fine if you don’t, but you know that I’m always here if you need someone to lis–”

“It’s her death. The memories of it”

“Oh” his eyes soften, and he shifts closer to you, still sitting crossed legged on his bed.

“They’re less and less frequent, but when they resurface it’s all there is” you pinch your lips, a single nod showing that you’re accepting your fate despite how cruel it is. "And it's still so vivid, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Everyone loses people they love in this war, and it's almost been two years and yet I can't move on" you chuckle before drinking from the bottle, wincing at the strong taste of the drink. “I feel ridiculous”

"No one does" he nods, raising his eyebrows in a reassuring way. "No one moves on" he declares, taking the bottle from you when you hand it over. "You learn to live with it, but you never really move on." He watches as you chew on your bottom lip, looking down at your lap. “And this is not ridiculous at all.” he tilts his head to emphasize, putting the bottle down on his nightstand.

His hand reaches for yours, and you let him hold it. It feels warm, and his touch feels comforting, and you can feel your heart beat faster when he starts running his thumb back and forth on the back of your hand. “My mom died when I was eight, I’m a grown man and I haven’t moved on and I never will. I just had to learn to live with it.” You look up at him with compassion, but you also feel worried at the thought that it’s probably going to be a long, long way before you can recover from this experience and everything else it involves.

“But the fact that you lived and saw it makes it even harder, and you shouldn’t blame yourself for feeling stuck.”

You closed your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose maybe a bit too hard, as if you were trying to squeeze the images out of you.

"I watched her die in front of me, she was right before my eyes and I had to leave her there" the words leave your mouth in a hurried and panicked, trembling plea, throat burning with the tight knot that only seems to get bigger inside as your words remind you of the moment in question, just as if you were there again, anxiety starting to loom menacingly over you again.

A soft exhale leaves Poe’s mouth as his expression turns into one of helplessness, and he gently pulls your body to his so you both lay down on the bed as he holds you close to him, your back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around you.

"I know baby, I know" he whispers, pressing gentle kisses to your hairline, trying to ease your trembling and labored breaths.

You’re not crying, you can’t, you feel so full yet so empty.

—

The ringing, high pitched sound in your ears doesn’t help your current state of tiredness and the growing migraine slowly but surely beginning to anchor into your head, and you can soon feel a throbbing pain hammering into your skull.

It’s fairly late and everyone on base is back to their quarters and for the most fast asleep, save for the ones like you still focused on work. You should get some sleep, you need it, you crave it, but you refuse to leave the empty room before you're done filling your report, wrapping up the paperwork session you've been at for two hours now.

You almost drop your datapad at the sudden feeling of hands over your shoulders, a shuddery gasp slipping from your mouth. It wakes you up a little, your current fatigue making the effect of surprise even more intense, your heart thrumming into your ribcage and reverberating inside your whole body.

The momentary panic fades away when Poe walks around to the desk in front of yours, revealing that it's only him as your eyes follow him as you're trying to catch your breath, a relieved smile growing upon your face. You haven’t seen him since yesterday, both of you drowning under a crushing pile of work. You feel awful when you remember the state you were in, but you also remember that it’s Poe so he doesn’t mind and above all, he’s not one to judge.

"Sorry sweetheart, didn’t mean to scare you" his lips quirk in a soft smile as both of his hands grasp onto the back of the chair in front of you.

"S'okay, I just didn't expect any visit this late. Why aren't you sleeping?" you ask as you put the datapad down on the desk, looking up at him as you sink back into your chair, crossing your arms.

“Why aren’t you” he asks as he cocks an eyebrow, almost as if accusing you of the same crime.

You sigh as you raise your eyebrows, taking a hold of the tablet you put down not too long ago. “Well Leia will kick my ass if I don’t fill out all of this, and she kinda scares me when she gets mad, so I’m stuck here until I’m done with paperwork”

“I don’t blame you for that” he snorts. "Need some company?" he asks as he pulls the chair from under the desk.

"I'm almost done but sure" you declare, pointing your hand towards his chair to offer him to stay with you.

He sits down, a slight clinking sound resonating through the empty room when he puts his feet up on the desk.

You dive back into work, and he would have so many things to tell you about his day but he knows that you're desperate to finish what you're doing so he instead just looks at you, drinking in any movement of yours, even the littlest, admiring the way you look when you're focused, smiling at the way you bite down onto your lip in concentration all while he absent-mindedly fiddles with the ring attached to the chain around his neck.

It doesn’t take too long for you to finish your work and for Poe to escort you back to your quarters, finally getting to tell you about his day while on the way.

You’re disappointed when you see you’re already there, and if you weren’t so tired you would have invited him inside so you could keep chatting.

“You still haven’t answered my question” you say as you stop in front of your door, turning on your feet so you could face him, stopping him in the middle of his story about BB-8’s checkup.

“What question?” he frowns, a confused expression taking over his face, lowkey nervous that he forgot about something important.

“Why you’re not asleep.”

“Oh. I was revising details for tomorrow’s last minute mission" he nods as he crosses his arms, leaning his side against the wall.

“Last minute mission?” you repeat, your eyebrows slightly rising in curiosity.

He nods as he pinches his lips. “I’m leaving for a few days. Our contact found something interesting about the First Order, and I have to see this with my own eyes”

“Be careful” you nod once, the inner corner of your eyebrows angling up in worry, and he can see in your eyes that you’re pleading him. He’s not the most cautious recruit on base, far from that, but he knows what’s good for his cause, even if he sometimes has to pay the price, but you also happen to be more important than his constant desire for recklessness.

“I will, promised. Goodnight sweetheart.” he smiles softly as he stands in front of you.

“Goodnight Poe.” He turns to his feet, ready to leave, but you grab onto his wrist before he can. He turns to you, eyebrows raised, awaiting anything from you. “Thank you for yesterday. I really needed someone to talk to.” you nod, with a tired but genuine smile.

He smiles back at you, the corner of his eyes crinkling softly.

He leaves a quick kiss at your cheek before leaving, and you wait for him to be out of sight to finally go inside your quarters, and you can’t tell if the sigh leaving your mouth is one of longing or relief.

—

You’re sprinting through the base hallways, and even though it’s really not an uncommon thing to do there, you feel stupid for being in such a rush hoping that he isn’t gone yet.

Once you arrive in the hangar, catching your breath, it is flooded with orange jumpsuits, making it hard to recognize anyone if they’re not directly facing you, but you just happen to spot the little droid that indicates that Poe’s not far away.

Poe’s eyes light up when you approach and he realizes you’re here to say goodbye, and you shake your head as you walk up to him, almost sprinting once you’re close.

“You do anything risky, I’ll kill you” you threaten as you throw yourself into his arms, the end of your sentence muffled against him.

“Okay. Where's my goodbye kiss?” he asks as he lets his hand rest at the back of your head, and he smirks when he hears your muffled chuckle.

“if you come back without a single scratch,” you start, pulling away from the embrace, looking back at him. “You’ll have a welcome home kiss.”

His right eyebrow rises in interest, and a sly smirk grows over his face.

“Now that’s an interesting deal.”

You point a finger to his chest, the tip pressing against it, your head slightly tilting to the side, looking right into his eyes.

“Not.” you push your finger deeper. “A.” deeper again, and—

“–Scratch, yes.” he completes your sentence, taking a hold of your hand, closing it into a fist and pressing it against his chest.

“That’s right. I’ll check” you tease, your other pointer finger pressuring him.

He snorts, “I’d love to show you every single part of my–” his voice quietens as he suddenly looks down at his feet, at the circular droid nudging him. “Yeah buddy” he looks back up at you. “I should get going”

“Alright. Goodbye handsome, be careful” you smile, and he bites down on his lip as he lets go of your hand before starting to walk backwards.

“You gave me a reason to be, I will be” he shouts from a distance, pointing back at you as he walks away, towards his ship.

—

The few days he had announced to be the time where he would be gone transformed into a whole week, and though you were busy every night either with work or with friends, you couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing at random moments of the evening.

Thankfully feedback from coms said that everyone was okay and that the mission was going exactly as planned, so your state of worry was greatly diminished.

You still couldn’t stop thinking about him and you hated yourself for being so attached to Poe Dameron, but at the same time how could you not when he acted the way he did around you.

You were walking around base with friends when you heard word from a passing group of people that Poe’s squadron had gotten back from their mission, and even though it was getting late and you could wait see him the next day or whenever you would run into him next, the curiosity and apprehension to find out whether he had gotten injured or not took over you.

You apologized to your friends for having to leave them, and hurriedly made your way through the base to join the hangar.

Once you arrive there the scene in front of you is pretty much the same as when you joined Poe before he left; a sea of orange figures, ships on the ground, metallic sounds and indistinct chatter filling the room.

Poe sees you before you see him and rushes towards you, a sly smirk over his face as he sprints across the hangar, and the moment you finally see him is the exact same moment you want to warn him about the ship wing that’s about to–

It hits his head with a loud thud.

A yelp that quickly transforms into a groan escapes his mouth, both of his hands covering and pushing against the area of impact as he momentarily curls up on himself in place because of the sudden pain.

Your mouth is gaping in shock before you sprint to join him.

“Fuck are you okay?” you ask hastily, a nervous chuckle leaving your mouth as your hand rests at his back while his eyes are shut tight, his hand grabbing onto your arm.

“Yeah I’m okay, I’m okay” he nods, his other hand still clinging onto his forehead. He sighs a curse word under his breath, shaking his head as he frowns before he snorts.

“I was uninjured before this.” he chuckles as he looks at you, a skeptic smile over his face. “Not a scratch”

“Mh? Well that’s too bad.” you tease, putting your hand over his shoulder. “Come on, medbay.”

“No no that’s fine I’m o–”

“Nuh uh I don’t wanna hear it, we’re going to medbay” you insist, pulling onto his arm, raising your eyebrows and tilting your head towards the direction of interest.

Poe reluctantly goes to medbay with you, the medics check him up rather quickly, and everything turns out to be okay; you only have to stay there sitting face to face to hold a cold pad to his forehead to prevent a bump from appearing.

“So, how’d the mission go?”

“Great. Couldn’t have been better. Got into some ambushes but we crushed them” he smiles. “And not a scratch, nothing” he nods proudly.

“See, you can make efforts when you’re interested in the promised outcome” you chuckle, shifting in place so you could get a better position to hold the pad over his forehead.

He winces, “S’cold as fuck”

“That’s the point” you huff out a laugh, and he smacks your thigh playfully in response.

“So” he starts, clearing his throat and shifting in his seat. “Can I get my price?” he asks, a sly smirk growing over his face.

“...I don’t know” you hum, a fake skeptic expression over your face. It’s hard to refrain from smiling when you see his semi-pouty face, “You technically didn’t respect the conditions.”

“What? It shouldn’t count!” he starts bargaining like a child that has been wrongly accused for something their sibling did, and you huff out a small laugh seeing how he reacts to you simply teasing him.

“I mean, you got hurt” you shrug.

“The mission was over”

“I told you to come back uninjured, mission or not, or else what's the point”

“Fair enough, but you didn’t specify beforehand”

“Well, now you know” you say, a small exhale leaving your mouth when you get up from your seat, and Poe doesn’t waste any second to follow you, tossing the cold pad onto the nearest surface.

“Alright, okay, but now I want a second chance at this so it’s fair game” he bargains, following you closely when you exit the medbay.

"Alright, alright" you agree as you turn back to him. "Come on now, you need to rest" you turn to your feet again, towards the hallway extending before you.

He remains standing in place when you start walking again, just looking at you and pondering. It takes him a few seconds before he catches up and joins you again, walking by your side.

The both of you are silent for most of the walk to Poe's quarters; it's pretty uncommon for Poe to remain quiet for more than thirty seconds, and it has you thinking.

"You really want your kiss, huh?" you ask rhetorically, stopping in your steps and turning to him once you're in front of his door.

He pauses, and takes a look at you before answering. "Of course I do" he chuckles, and you nod as your teeth sink into your bottom lip.

Poe barely has time to process you getting substantially closer to him before you grab the collar of his flight suit and put your lips over his, gently pushing him against the wall.

The quarter of second it takes for him to fully be aware of what's happening leaves him sighing against your mouth, and once he's sure that it’s all real, his hand cradles the back of your head, pulling you even closer.

His other hand rests at your hip, your own hands leaving his collar and resting at the back of his neck, and low hum vibrating against your mouth when your fingers bury into his short curls there.

You pull away just for a second before he yanks you towards him, kissing you back with even more vigor.

His lips are warm and pressed tight against yours, the heat of his body feeling omnipresent even though you're the one caging him.

You smile at the sight of the starstruck expression left over his face when you pull away, and your heart sinks at the way his warm eyes look at you.

“I was messing with you, I always keep my promises” you tease with a grin as you start to back away, your hands behind your back, giving him space again.

“Admit it, you didn’t want to be kind to me, you just wanted to do it” he smirks, a teasing tone in his voice before he bites down onto his bottom lip. “You wanted to kiss me”

You smirk back at him, shrugging before turning onto your feet and leaving for good, retracing your steps.

Poe stares at you leaving until you're out of sight, and he can't help but smile to himself when he enters the code to his quarters, still not fully believing what just happened.

You, you should feel overjoyed, but you can’t help but acknowledge that bittersweet feeling starting to get to you as you’re walking back to your quarters and being faced with reality again, your mind starting to overfill with too many thoughts; you’re getting too attached.

—

You toss and turn in your bed, and all you’re able to do instead of sleeping is hating yourself for kissing Poe, for certainly making him feel like this meant that you were ready to give him what he had been wanting from you for so long.

You do have feelings for him, and that’s where the problem is; you can not love anyone, and certainly not someone as reckless and impulsive as him, not someone you could lose technically so easily.

You can’t go through this again, you know you wouldn’t be able to carry the weight of his loss.

Maybe it’s selfish, maybe you’re making the biggest mistake of your life – no; you’re sure of that – but you’re also sure that you wouldn't be able to handle enduring this again; the simple thought crushes you.

You toss and turn in your bed, and while Poe is certainly delighted of what happened, you hate that you’re going to have to distance yourself from him because you fucked everything up.

—

It has been a week since you and Poe had kissed, and it seemed like you were thoroughly trying to avoid him ever since, hurrying out of the room after every briefing, taking advantage of the crowd and of the people wanting to talk details with the commander.

You happened to never eat at the same time as him anymore, and you were nowhere to be found when he looked for you in places he knew you would usually be.

Poe was left confused, and even though he had a lot of work and technically other things to think about, the fact that he couldn’t catch you to talk even just for five minutes was bothering him and leaving him wondering if he had done something wrong, especially with what happened last time.

He had thought this kiss would change things between you, would lead you somewhere and that he would finally get what he had wanted for ages; you.

He knew it was no coincidence that you wouldn't stop ignoring his presence, that you wouldn't maintain eye contact through the briefing room for more than two seconds; that you wouldn’t run into him anymore; he knew he had been just a fool, too stupid to think that this could lead him somewhere, lead the both of you somewhere, that you would feel the same way he felt for you.

—

You took it as a sign that your friends had understood something was wrong when they practically dragged you to go get some drinks, and while you weren’t particularly in the mood to do that, you had to admit that you needed some distraction.

You needed to be busy in order to avoid thinking too much, to avoid getting too deep into your own head, because you knew that if you did you would break.

And the distraction technique actually works; you’re having a good time, chatting and laughing, forgetting about everything else going on besides that, and it feels really good, the illusion feels good.

There comes a time when you start to feel the drinks you’ve downed, the slight drunkenness starting to manifest itself as well as your need to pee.

You're still in a pretty good shape, drinkingly speaking; you're not fully drunk yet, just tipsy – the feeling is still pleasant, and you just have to stop for a second to maintain balance on your feet when you get up from your seat to join the cantina's bathroom.

The room is empty when you go and lock yourself into a stall, and the muffled music gets clearer when a group of people enter the room seconds later, their loud and high pitched laughs almost fully covering the sound of the loud music before it gets muffled again.

“So” one of the girls starts as she recovers from her laugh, “How’d last night end?” she asks, and the question elicits curious gasps from the other girls of the group.

“Yeah, we didn’t see you after you left the room with Commander Dameron” another girl teases, putting emphasis on the rank and last name, and your eyes widen at the sound of that.

Well. Try to forget about something and it’s shoved into your face right back away.

This catches your interest nonetheless, and you make sure to wait a little before you wipe yourself, not wanting to miss a beat of the conversation.

"Well," another girl starts, the girl who you assume is the girl who left the room with Commander Dameron.

"We were both drunk and it was sloppy but damn is he good at it” she declares proudly, a fit of giggles filling the room.

Oh.

She's talking about something else, right?

This can't possibly be, right?

Right?

"No way you slept with a commander, Jana. This is like a special success, something to check off a list" one of them chuckles.

"Sure did." Jana replies, and this is cliché and a bit not-feminist but you can just imagine her putting another layer of gloss on her lips.

Fuck.

It's with a half lie about not feeling well that you leave your friends and go home to your quarters, trying to repress the tight knot in your throat when you don’t even bother to change into your sleeping clothes and curl up into your bed.

—

The next briefings after that are awkward and feel delicate, and even though they already were before, you now can not look at Poe without internally wanting to scream and break something.

You hurry out the room faster than before if it’s even possible, and you need to be constantly distracted and busy with something in order not to think about him and all of your current situation with him.

You make your way out of the seemingly way-too-busy room once more, apologizing as you slalom through the crowd of people, an exhale of relief escaping once you get some relatively fresh air in the hallway.

“Hey” your heart jumps when you recognize Poe’s voice as he grabs your arm, and you sigh softly when you’re forced to turn to him. He must have disregarded everyone’s questions to exit the briefing room that quickly. “Why won’t you talk to me? Why do you barely even look at me?” he asks, and his voice slightly cracks at the middle of his sentence. He’s not fully scolding you, he genuinely wants answers.

A soft exhale leaves your mouth, and you can feel and hear your heart starting to beat fast in your ears.

“Did you sleep with Jana?”

The question is dropped like a bomb, and you know it’s going to have the effect of a bomb no matter what happens – it’s going to destroy everything, but at this point there isn’t really anything left to lose, nothing left to save either, it’s all doomed.

You already know the answer, you already know he’s going to respond positively because he’s an honest man and definitely not a liar; it’s something you have always appreciated in him.

“I–” he is speechless, and his mouth is gaping, trying to come up with anything to say though he knows damn well what he has to say if he wants to be honest with you, even if it’s going to ruin everything, until– “Yes.”

You expected it, and yet it still hurts.

You had secretly hoped that the girl in the cantina bathroom had made that lie up to impress her friends, and you deep down knew she hadn’t, but you somehow buried yourself deep into denial, thinking that hoping otherwise would somehow manifest the truth to be different.

“I can’t wait for you forever. I don’t want to.”

Immediately and like a reflex your eyes close, your lips pinch and you nod, trying to ignore the sick feeling bubbling inside your chest though it’s impossible.

It hurts, everything hurts, nothing will ever be the same with him and it’s entirely your fault, you brought it upon yourself.

He’s not yours after all, and you made sure of that, so you shouldn’t be upset, you shouldn’t feel your heart sink. It’s not legitimate.

“You know that’s not what I meant” he starts again, the inner corner of his eyebrows angling up in compassion when he sees your reaction. “I could wait for you forever.” he nods, a bittersweet smile over his face. “But you’re making me feel like a fool. I don’t want to feel like a fool forever” he nods one last time as his lips pinch to repress something, and you can see his eyes glistening a bit, and your heart aches at the sight.

You bite down on your lip trying to contain your frustration, or your growing state of misery; you’re not sure, and all you’re able to reply is just–

“Okay.”

It’s bland, cold and dry, but it’s truly all that can come out.

You don’t have the heart to bargain and beg for your cause, and it would feel unfair and dishonest for him anyways.

“I’m sorry” Poe immediately says, and you feel bad that he is the one to be sorry, that he feels like he is the bad guy in that whole story when all of this is entirely your fault.

“No, no, I am. I get it” you try to reassure him, forcing a small smile out of you, still trying to make it seem like you’re doing fine, though you know there’s no use trying to when he knows you so well.

You can’t stay here any longer or you will break, and you don’t have anything left to say anyways, not when you know it probably has to end that way.

You leave as fast as you left the briefing room earlier, and Poe feels sick when he watches you go, feels the need to puke when his head somehow fills with every memory you’ve ever made with him.

You’re glad your back is facing him when you have to frantically wipe away the single tear rolling down your cheek.

—

It feels strange not having Poe in your life anymore, at least not properly; and it's probably worse that way, the fact that he's still around and that you're still often being confronted to each other, forced to pretend not to care about each other.

It hurts that he's now back to being "just" a commander to you, a colleague, that you're both back to being basically strangers, that the eye contacts don't linger anymore and just leave a bitter feeling lodged inside your chest when they used to leave butterflies in your stomach.

Your heart aches every time you catch a glimpse of him, and it’s hard trying to stay focused when you work around him, go on missions with him.

You feel terrible for what you’ve done to him, you feel sick that he feels like he's been played with when all you wanted to do was protect yourself, you feel bad that he has to be collateral damage.

You truly hope he doesn’t hate you, and you think that this might be your biggest fear.

That the only man that has ever truly believed in you, that the man that you love could hate you, even if he has all the reasons in the world to and you wouldn’t blame him if he did.

Now is not the time to think about it, because you've been assigned and sent on a mission with him, and you're kinda thankful it's not the kind of mission that only requires two people and you just happen to be paired with him – you're thankful people are with you for this one.

It should be an easy mission, you just have to get something back.

A smuggler had stolen something that was supposed to get sent to the Resistance, but the guy happened to be tougher and more skilled than expected, and the logical solution to get back up on this was to get the Resistance itself.

You’re making your way through a quiet alley bathed in darkness, following the target from a distance, observing each of his movements to calculate how you could get an opening so you could get to him and steal – no, get back what’s yours.

Your group has split up, everyone trying to join the guy from different points and accesses across the area.

If all goes well you can surround him in case you don’t have the opportunity to attack before, and technically he shouldn’t be able to get away, at least not until you have taken back what he has stolen.

You're doing pretty good so far, the guy hasn’t noticed he is being followed, so you have been able to gradually get closer and you're so close to being able to attack and if you could just shoot him in the leg and get back what's yours–

You're suddenly and abruptly yanked out from the main alley, and even before you can react at what’s happening and scream in surprise and fear, a hand pushes over and blocks your mouth, the other hand wrapping tight around your waist, your back pressed flush against your assailant's chest as their own back rests against the wall of the small, secluded alley you’ve been pulled in.

Your eyes look around in fear, your head unable to move, blocked by the strong hand covering your mouth; you want to scream, trying to wriggle out of whoever's grasp you're trapped in, panic starting to creep up your chest, until–

"Calm down, don't panic, it's only me." the soft and gentle whisper of Poe's voice in your ear makes you relax in his grasp, waves of relief washing over you. "He knows that we're following him, he was waiting for you to get closer to trap you" he explains, and you start to loosen up when his hand leaves your mouth and he lets go of you. “Sorry I scared you”

“Thank you” you nod as you face him, your hands resting over your knees as you catch your breath from the sudden rush of fear and adrenaline.

Your eyes widen and you look back at Poe when you hear a fight starting not so far away from where you are, shouts and sounds of blasters firing.

“I’ll go” he declares, hastily taking off his jacket. “Stay there and keep this for me, will you? You were shivering while I was holding you” he smirks teasingly, throwing you his leather jacket.

You chuckle as you catch and look down at the piece of cloth, and he waits for you to put it on to shoot you a smile before leaving, not even giving you time to beg him to be careful and not do anything stupid.

At least you’re now certain that he most definitely does not hate you.

—

Poe is sitting in the grass on a hill not so far away from base, looking up at the starry sky, just enjoying the fresh air of D'Qar. It feels nice after the particularly busy and tiring day he just had, his muscles still sore and tense from the mission, especially the muscles joining his neck and shoulders.

“Hey” the sudden sound of your voice tears him out of his thoughts, and he even thinks he hallucinated it before he turns to you.

“Hey” he pinches a smile as he looks up at you.

“I wanted to give you your jacket back” you say as you look down at the jacket you’re currently wearing, and you must admit that you’re a bit reluctant at the idea of having to give it back – it smells just like him, a mix of his natural comforting scent and his aftershave, and it feels like the closest you’ve ever been to him in your life.

“Oh. No need to, you can keep it, you look good in it” he smiles wide, and you scoff softly.

"Alright. Can I?” you ask, referring to sitting down next to him.

“Hm? Sure” he nods, patting on the grass. You sit down next to him and watch him as he looks in front of him, admiring the view extending before him. The sky is pretty, the stars are especially bright tonight.

"Thank you again for earlier. And… I'm sorry for even earlier" you say, and his gaze drops down to his lap. "I'm sorry I was being an asshole and I made you feel like an idiot just because I don't know how to deal with my emotions." He looks back up in front of him, and you're scared when he doesn’t say anything and just stares ahead, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. "Can you forgive me?"

His face turns to you, and he nods, a pinched, awkward smile over his face. "Of course. Of course I can"

You can't help a relieved smile from forming over your face, and you look at the stars for a moment before looking back at him. He looks almost heavenly, bathed in the stars' light.

“You know I love you, right? Poe, please tell me you do.” you ask, almost beg, still scared that he could believe the opposite.

"I do. I know it" he nods softly, looking at you. He pauses before continuing, as if he was thinking of the right words to say. "But I don't want you to feel forced to be with me if you're not ready yet" he continues, and his hand rests over your thigh as he looks at you sternly, wanting to show you that he means it.

Your heart sinks at how considerate he is, even after how you've been treating him, but you're not even surprised; he's the kindest, most gentle man you've ever met, you have always known this.

"I can wait for you, and I will, I'm not going anywhere." he looks down at your thigh when your hand covers his, and he looks back up at you. "I mean it."

It shouldn't have the effect it has, because you've never wanted him as much as you do now, but you have been wanting him for long anyways so it doesn't really change anything.

“I’m terrified of losing you.” you mutter under your breath, saying this as if you were justifying yourself though you know you don’t have to.

“And why would you lose me?” he asks, almost sure it's a rhetorical question, his hand moving so it could grab yours. His fingers intertwine with yours and the gesture makes a chill run down your spine, you're sure it's not the fresh breeze of the night.

“You’re the most impulsive and reckless person I’ve ever met, Poe. That might simultaneously be your biggest blessing and flaw” you smile softly.

He scoffs. “But I’m also the best pilot in the Resistance, so…” he tries to reassure you with a fake sly smirk, for once, holding tighter onto your hand. “Trust me, will you? I know it’s hard for you, I know what you’ve gone through and I know what you're scared of but I promise you that we’ll be okay.” he nods, and you happen to believe him, he is able to do that.

"You don't have to wait for me, then" you declare, your head resting over his shoulder. He smiles as he wraps an arm around your shoulders, leaving a kiss at the top of your head before his rests over yours.

You will love him anyways, you will be terrified anyways, and if you have to live with the fear that everything could stop suddenly, you would rather do it by his side.

—

if this flops and if I get no feedback on this I will scream, cry, break something and consider retiring from writing so if you've read all of this please give me feedback or a comment or a reblog I'm literally begging you on my knees........

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littlewriterfullofwords · 1 year

Text

Like a movie

Pairing: Nijiro Murakami x actress!reader

Summary: You are an actress that works with Nijiro on a new movie and both of you hide a secret

Warnings: acting and that's probably all, but if there's more let me know

A/N: Hi! I'm back with Nijior one shot. Have fun reading and let me know if there are mistakes or maybe if you want to see something specific

You again caught yourself drifting away from the book's plot you've been reading on your phone while siting on the wooden bench.

"Focus." you whispered and focused on the sentences on the screen, trying so hard not to drift away.

But the universe had its own plans, totally different from yours.

"What are you doing?" well-known man's voice startled you a bit, you turned around to see who dared to interrupt you, but when you saw a smile, you only huffed.

"Reading." you answered and a smile crawled on your lips as the man sat next to you.

"Am I interrupting?" his voice an his puppy eyes were saying he was perplexed a bit.

"No. Of course not." you ensured him with a smile and shook your head. "You never interrupt me, Nijiro."

His smile became bigger. You hardly ever used his name so it was a pleasing change for him.

You and Nijiro were actors together working on a new movie that was supposed to be aired next year. You liked working with this man, probably because he was so professional, maybe because he was a sunshine and his smile would bright up every room and every dark soul around him. You loved his bubbly personality and probably it was the main reason you had a big ass crush on him. Just as the major part of the women staff working with all the cast. I mean, who wouldn't love a man with beautiful smile, deep voice and pretty eyes.

"You know, you are a lot like your character." said out of nowhere Nijiro, his eyes were observing the falling leaves what was quite unusual, it was spring not autumn.

"Oh, thank you." uncontrollably blush came up on your cheeks. "I have to tell you are only half as your. No offence."

"None taken." Murakami chuckled. "I can even say we are totally different."

"Maybe. But he doesn't have your bubbly personality so I can say it's his lose."

______

"Okay, guys." the director called you over after recording few last scenes and gathered in a circle with other cast's members. "You all are doing great. We are going forward with the production and that's amazing and I think we will end earlier than we had thought. But let's not praise the day before the dawn, we still have work to do. You two, prepare for kissing scene."

The last words were directed to you and Nijiro who has been standing by your side all the time. You nodded and hang down you head just to hide this little smile that had had formed on your lips. You felt your heart speed up whenever you thought about the upcoming scene with your crush, not gonna lie you wanted this scene to be repeated as many times as possible even if it meant you had to make mistakes.

"Y/N, let's go." your make up artist came up and led you to her car where you sat on the chair and let the woman do her job. "I am so jealous of you. You are so close with Nijiro. And you have a kissing scene with him. You can't imagine how much I want to change places with you. You need to describe me everything after. With details."

"You got it." you laughed and intertwined your own fingers.

You were nervous yet something about Nijiro was calming even if it was only an imagination.

"Are you ready?" you came back to reality when man's voice sounded almost behind you.

"Yeah, sorry." you got up from the chair, thanked the make up artist who only smiled and you knew she was 'sending' you a message including her ask, and looked at Nijiro. "Let's go."

"Sure." the actor grabbed your hand and, with you, left the car.

And that's when your nervousness hit the max level even though you had recorded hundreds of kissing scenes in you life. Was it something about the cast watching? Or maybe the director? Or maybe Nijiro himself? You didn't know but anyway it was so stressing.

"It will okay." his calm voice by your side caused chills on your back, but also made you smile. "I am here."

"And that's probably a problem." you wanted to say, but only nodded.

"It will be fine." it was the last words before you heard loud 'ACTION'.

"Please wait!" Nijiro shouted what stopped you in a half step and made you turn around.

"Huh? What's wrong?" you asked with consternation on your face.

"You...you keep running away from me.Every day, every second." his eyes became sad, full of confusion. "Why? Just tell me why."

You chuckled and looked to the side, you locked your eyes with make up artist's who smiled at you and showed thumbs up.

"Why? You really want to know why? Okay, I will tell you." you took a deep breath and looked Nijiro in the eyes. "I love you, okay? Everyday you make me realise why I had fallen for you. And that drives me crazy. I am trying not to love you because it's not okay, we are friends, it could change our relationship. And I don't want that. That's why I am pushing you away. So please, respect that and go."

Why playing this part sounded so similar to your life situation? Maybe you weren't pushing anyone aside but you were scared that your feelings could change your relationship with them.

"How can I go when you just told me you love me?" Nijiro made a step closer, shortening the distance between you two. "You want to play with my feelings by pushing me away?"

"Play with your feelings? Don't be ridiculous, you and feelings? At this moment?" you laughed and shook your head. "You don't have a reason to feel anythings now."

"Why are you so sure?" another step and another, he was so close.

You started acting like you were thinking. Your hair fell down, covered you face, cut you out of the world and people watching your every step, every breath.

"You didn't realise, did you?" suddenly Nijiro was so close, his hand touched your chin and lifted it a bit.

"Realise what?" you asked with half disbelief half curiosity.

"Oh, dummy." Nijiro giggled and closed the distance between you two, his lips touched yours taking your breath away.

And that was where your acting ended. You forgot about your character, about the script, about the people watching...now you only had Nijiro in your mind, him and the kiss. You let him kiss you, touch you, even move you around a bit. He had so much power over you and you didn't even think about saying 'no'.

"And...DONE!" the director yelled.

Unwillingly you and Nijiro made a step back. Little smiles appeared on your lips when your eyes locked and after a second you burst into laughter.

"Guys." you both looked at the director who approached you with a smile and clapped few times. "It was perfect. It looked so natural like you didn't act at all. We need people like you two. You were perfect!"

And he walked away leaving you two in confusion, but with a feeling of pride.

"Can we..." Nijiro started talking so you looked his way, but your make up artist appeared out of nowhere and interrupted.

"Sorry. I need her. I promise I will give her back later."

"We will talk later." you promised and sent Nijiro a smile then left with the woman.

Of course she wanted to know every detail of the kiss and she was more impatient than a little kid who wants a candy. You told her that his lips were soft, he was gentle and you felt like in heaven.

"Lucky you." the woman sat on the chair and sighed. "I wish I was you."

You only giggled and shook your head. When you were sure the conversation ended, you left the car and started looking for Nijiro, he wanted to tell you something earlier.

"Are you looking for someone?" the smile crawled on your lips when you heard his voice.

"Actually, yes." you faced Nijiro and nodded. "You wanted to tell me something before, right?"

"Right." he agreed and smiled. "So..."

He took a deep breath and that made you even more curios what he wanted to say. Why did he look nervous?

"So...the kissing scene...." his hands started shaking and his sunshine-like personality disappeared instead you saw nervous Nijiro. "I didn't...um...."

"Yeah, me too." you said before he finished his sentence. "I didn't act. The whole scene...it...it was..."

"It was so real." now Murakami overtook you. "Yeah. So I think hiding it won't help anyone...especially me....I- I...."

Before he said anything more you closed his mouth with a kiss. On the one hand it felt similar to the one you had recorded, but on the other it was totally different. You felt chills going up your spine when Nijiro placed his hand on your hip and the other cupped your cheek which has been burning from the blush since the beginning of the conversation.

"I guess we now know what we are standing on." you whispered when you took a step back and smiled.

"And we needed to record the whole movie to realised that." joked Nijiro and when you hugged him, he added. "I could wait longer."

#nijiro #nijiro murakami #nijiro ff #ff writer #ff #spotify #actor x reader #nijiro x reader #nijiro murakami x reader #Spotify

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violetrainbow412-blog · 2 years

Text

I hate you [E. M]

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

word count: 13K (oopsie)

summary: You and Eddie Munson know exactly how you feel about each other. Until a moment changes everything and you embark on a journey of discovery about your relationship.

warnings: rivals to lovers (more lovers than rivals), hurt/comfort, mention of attempted abuse (but doesn't go too far) family problems, parental abandonment, the reader is ashamed of where she lives, drugs, drinking, swearing.

Love at first sight is an awesome thing. You make eye contact with the other person and suddenly their eyes become the most beautiful on the planet, instantly clicking and convincing you that you could give anything for them. Something similar happened to you with Edie Munson, but somehow the terms got confused, and instead of having love at first sight you experienced hate at first sight.

Middle school is the time when everyone is looking for their place in the world and you found refuge in black clothes, metal, and any position that was decisively against the system. To this day you had devoured entire books on anarchy and feminism, but you also did not deprive yourself of reading as energizing as the Lord of the Rings. But well, going back to the topic, coincidentally Eddie Munson also decided to take that course and although everyone's first thought was that you two would become friends, the truth is that the opposite happened. Because being honest, being different loses its meaning when there is another person identical to you, right?

In this way a kind of silent treatment was agreed upon between you; you hated him and he hated you.

It was like that for many years, doing endless things just to irritate each other. Sometimes he'd rush to grab the last of your favorite desserts in the cafeteria (even when he didn't like them) or you'd run to the movie and record store to rent just what you heard him mention over lunch. Other times you'd steal his stuff when he was distracted and Eddie would respond to this by taking some of yours, to the point where you guys had a little collection of each other in your rooms. Most of it was crap: a guitar pick, a chewed-up pen, a band pin. But it was as if they were trophies that you kept with special affection... or rather hate? Whatever the case, the point is that between you and Eddie there was a tension that by this point everyone had already been aware of.

Most of the time you had the same ideas and agreed (although you would never admit it) but when a disagreement arose, however minor, it was like watching Troy burn again.

"I know you're Ozzy Osbourne's bitch, but the truth is I think he's not that good" you had said once, seeing that he was wearing a shirt of the aforementioned. You were sitting next to him because you were late and there were no seats left, so you took advantage of the moment to make him angry "Now as a solo artist, I mean"

“At least he's still singing,” he muttered under his breath, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. “Not like this horrible group you like… what was its name? Oh yes, Coven. Only 3 albums, 5 years. It's embarrassing that you want to criticize him with that kind of taste.”

“Still, I don't care. That guy is so overrated. It's like…very basic, you know?” you insisted, trying not to be affected by what he had just said "And the Coven singer was the one who popularized the sign of the horns, did you know that?"

“Of course it wasn't her. It was Ronnie Dio”

"Huh, another overrated guy."

"Are all successful metalheads overrated to you miss feminism?" he asked rolling his eyes. You two kept arguing, paying no attention to the class, until things escalated so much that you two were sent to detention and even then, you kept fighting.

It was the daily bread and that was why one Monday morning when Eddie saw you walk through the door, he mentally prepared himself for what was to come. It was something common between you, you greeted him with one of the most derogatory nicknames you could think of and he answered with a similar insult. He straightened his back slightly as you walked past him, not wanting to seem too interested in your arrival, but he was shocked to see that there had been nothing but silence from you.

That had never happened.

Eddie didn't immediately turn his head towards you, but he did try to peek at you, hoping that maybe you could come back by remembering he was there. But you just sat in the last chair as usual and dropped your head against the table without paying any attention to the world around you. The guy looked you up and down: black boots, ripped pants, and a huge hoodie from your favorite band that you probably bought at a flea market. There was nothing unusual about you and yet he felt like you were a complete stranger.

With a frown and the gears of his mind working at full speed, Eddie took a sheet of paper and crumpled it into a ball that ended up landing on your head, so you could pay attention to him. But you didn't even get up, you just flipped the bird in such an impersonal way that it hurt him.

During class Eddie didn't have time to do or say anything to you because it was going to look completely weird that he was turning back every so often, but the feeling of awkwardness in his never left him for a second. Even when the teacher made one of those stupid comments that annoyed you so much, he didn't hear you reply at all.

Maybe she's just tired, he thought. He kept moving his leg restlessly up and down until the bell rang and he was finally able to get up to look at you. Indeed you looked tired, with a couple of dark circles that not even the cheap makeup you bought had been able to hide. Your lips looked somewhat dry and pale and your movements were similar to those of a zombie.

"I see that someone woke up with the left foot," he said with a mocking tone, while he approached you and leaned against a table, practically imprisoning you.

“Very funny, Munson. You better go fuck yourself and leave me alone” you exclaimed reluctantly, still not looking at him, as you collected your notebooks in your backpack and went through a gap that he had left uncovered. He thought that behavior was very strange, even for you, but he decided to let it go and tried to think of something else. Although after several days in which you had barely looked at him, thinking about you became something inevitable.

"Eddie!" Garreth half yelled, snapping him out of his thoughts of him. The entire club had noticed that their leader had been more distracted as he hadn't even mentioned anything about the campaign that night. "Are you listening to us?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry,” he stammered, leaning a little further forward on the table so he could look at his friends. They babbled about the monsters they still needed to defeat and Eddie only bit into the talk, teasing that they wouldn't stand a chance of winning.

He had started to feel livelier and more dynamic until his eyes unintentionally found you. You always sat alone and there was usually a mess of things on your table. Sometimes you'd read a book or nod your head from side to side to the music playing on your Walkman, but this time you were just mindlessly playing with your food and you hadn't even had dessert.

“Is it Y/N?” Dustin exclaimed suddenly. Eddie tensed at the mention of your name and turned to look at the boy.

"She is what?"

“Is she the one who has you so lost in thought?” he asked, smirking. The most intelligent of the group was perhaps that boy, so the one with the long hair knew that it was totally useless to pretend before him.

"She's been kind of weird lately. That's it"

"And since when are you interested in her?" Mike murmured, frowning. Biting the inside of his cheek, Eddie didn't know what to say, even though he didn't understand why he was making such a big deal out of you, and he looked your way again.

"I guess I just want someone to annoy" he answered, shrugging, trying to convince himself that it was. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds in which everyone looked at the curly-haired man, until he got up from his chair "I'll be back in a minute" he said, without giving time for a reply from his friends, and then began to walk in the direction of where were you.

As soon as you saw him you let out a disgusted moan and rolled your eyes.

"What do you want?"

"As kind and beautiful as ever," he said wryly, as he dropped into the chair across from you.

"Today I'm not in the mood"

"That's the problem, you haven't been in the mood since the week started," Eddie began. His hand went directly to his cheek for support and he felt the icy coldness of the rings brush his skin.

"What are you talking about?"

“I'm saying you look miserable, girl. And I mean, I love that you're miserable but I usually like to be the reason for it,” he explained, but you just rolled your eyes again “You haven't even yelled at me or told me how useless I am and I'm honestly starting to feel a little bored. Have you stopped hating me already?"

“You're a complete drama queen and you probably have some fetish or something with being called useless. And I'm not going to contribute to that, thank you."

“What fetishes I have or don't have are none of your business unless you're going to do something about them,” he said with a flirtatious grin. You looked at him with annoyance and then you looked back at the food that you probably weren't going to eat. But Eddie was persistent so he got up from where he was to go to your bench and trap you between the wall and his pale body. "Are you going to do something about it?"

"I'm serious, I'm not in the mood to put up with these things. Not today, Eddie."

Eddie, you said, and the aforementioned felt a tug on his chest. You never said his name, he was always Munson or idiot or asshole or whatever derogatory term existed in English (and even other languages), or very occasionally a cold Edward. But something as personal and loving as Eddie sounded strange coming from your lips. And added to this, your voice had such a desperate and tired tone that suddenly everything disappeared and he wanted to give you a hug.

Wait a second… was he feeling compassion for you?

He was surprised when he felt your body slide under the table to escape and he felt silly for having frozen. When you reached for your backpack, his hand went almost by itself to hold your wrist.

“You okay?” he said. His voice was a kind and genuine whisper that took you by surprise and the fingers that barely pressed around your wrist felt warm.

"I'm better than ever" you just answered, while you let go and took your things. Eddie watched you walk down the hall with the certainty that you had blatantly lied to him and a touch of concern for you that he never thought he would have.

By the time Eddie got home it was late at night and all he wanted was to sleep for days at a time. But, unluckily for him, he still had a pile of homework to do that he knew he wouldn't do over the weekend. It wasn't the first time it had happened and he refused to fail another year, so he scavenged the house for some caffeine and poured himself a couple of cups as he wrote in his notebook. He had turned on music at a low volume and had left only his boxer shorts and a worn shirt that seemed to be enough for them despite how cold it was inside the trailer. He stayed like that for God knows how long and just as he was drifting off to sleep the ringing of the phone woke him up with a start.

It was after one in the morning, who could call him at that hour?

He thought maybe it was some emergency Wayne had had and he stumbled up to the phone, picked it up, and answered with a soft Hello?

"Eddie!" he heard from the other side. Her voice was muffled by music and other voices "I am Robin"

"What are you doing calling so late?" he asked in confusion. He and Rob were good friends, but he couldn't see a particular reason for the situation.

"Oh, I'm at a party. Steve wanted to come but he didn't want to come alone and so he convinced me to come as his friend and if he didn't get someone then we could be together and stuff. You know, he's been unlucky and so am I, but Vickie isn't here otherwise it would be super embarrassing for her to see me half drunk or with Steve because then she'd think we're…”

“Rob,” he cut her off, “I love hearing your stories and I'm glad you guys are having fun, but that's just what you called? I would have appreciated if you did it on a more conventional schedule.”

“Right, I forgot. I'm calling because the girl you always argue with is here, the one who dresses like you…”

“Y/N?” he interrupted her again “And you want to pick her up or what? Are you calling me for advice?

"No, stupid! Let me finish. She came here a while ago but now she was really drunk and I don't know how it happened but she ended up getting into a fight with one of Jason's friends and her face was bleeding horrible and I can't find her anywhere."

Eddie's blood ran cold when he heard that. You weren't much of a party person and I was sure you didn't like most people out there but the fact that you'd bumped into a guy was even weirder. The pang of concern that had been latent now rumbled in his chest with force.

"Where is the party?"

“At Trina Smith's house. It is down the street…”

"I know where it is," he replied. Eddie had done a couple of sales for her and her friends "I'll be right over, if you find her, please keep her quiet and I'll find you ok?"

“Many say that she left the house, perhaps she is in the yard or on the street”

" I get it. Thanks Rob, take care of yourself”

"See you Eddie, good luck," she said goodbye and after that the boy rushed to his room to put on the first jeans he found and a jacket that was lying on the floor.

The road wasn't that long and was made even shorter by the dangerous speed at which he was driving. The idea that your face was bleeding terrified Eddie because he didn't know what those animals were capable of. A woman had been beaten, that was too much to say.

He parked in an available corner and started walking towards the house, listening to the laughter and music that came from there. He was already mentally reviewing the questions he could ask guests sober enough to find you, but it wasn't necessary as he found you standing with your body leaning against a post by the sidewalk.

“Y/N?” he asked, bending down so he could search your face. Robin wasn't lying, your cheek was full of dried red liquid and your lip looked split at one end. It wasn't as bad as he'd imagined, but it still made his blood boil.

“Munson?” you asked confused, looking up from narrowed eyes. It was obvious that you were drunk "Are you coming to break your nose too?"

"Did you break his nose?" he asked, unable to keep a bit of amusement from his voice. Even in your state you were a bully and it comforted him to know that the bastard hadn't walked away unscathed “Very metal, baby. But no, I'm here to take you home."

"I can go by myself, I don't need your help" you spat. You tried to walk, but after only a few steps you stumbled and Eddie laughed to himself as he grabbed your waist to help steady you.

“Obviously not. So either you leave voluntarily or I'll drag you to my car,” he murmured. With no choice but to lean on him to start walking and as you went the sounds of the party became smaller and smaller and were replaced with the calm of the night. Then Eddie helped you into the passenger seat with silence hanging between you "Where do you live?" he asked, but you didn't answer. You didn't want to go to your house, but you didn't want to have to tell him either, so noticing your lack of response he started the engine and started driving in a direction you didn't know.

It was obvious he wanted to ask questions and so did you, but instead you just kept staring out the window, your eyelids threatening to close many times. When you finally pulled over you were in a trailer park and still with all the alcohol in your system you were able to deduce that this was where Eddie lived.

"I'll stay here" you exclaimed, with your raspy voice "Tomorrow morning I'll be gone, I promise"

“You're not going to do that,” he said. There was no room in his tone for a contradiction "Come on inside, it's not as bad as you imagine" he continued and after going down he opened the door for you and practically carried you to the entrance. He was right, it was a very common trailer and you could see many books scattered on the table, which you assumed were the boy's homework. Your vision was too blurry to register any more details and you tensed a bit when you noticed that he was leading you to his room.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm going to take you to my bed," he explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. But from the way your face paled, Eddie knew there was something you weren't telling him. "What's wrong?"

“Did they call you? Are you going to come here?"

"They? What are you talking about?" Eddie asked with a frown. He had never been the smartest but perhaps hanging out with Dustin had given him a few of his deductive abilities, since it took just a few seconds for him to understand what was happening "Y/N, what did those bastards do to you?” he asked, anger painted all over his face, "Did they touch you?"

“They wanted to do it. That's why I hit him” you clarified. He felt his heart shrink a little and one of his fists clenched tightly as if he was preparing to fight too "And I swear if you're with them, I..."

"Never. Not in a million years” he was quick to say “Don't even think about it, I would never do that to you. To nobody” he insisted and his voice sounded completely sincere “I promise I just want you to be able to rest because the couch is shit and I don't think you're comfortable. But if you want, we can go back there”

“I would like the bed” you dared to say. The truth was that your back was killing you and if you wanted to recover a little you would have to trust him. Eddie nodded and led you into the bedroom, where he helped you lie down. You couldn't appreciate too much, but what you did notice is that there wasn't a single space that was unoccupied; posters, furniture, photos, instruments, magazines, empty cans, full cans, and even a blanket with the name of his band. It was a most picturesque place, in your opinion.

“Robin was the one who called me. She's the short-haired one who plays in the band, she's my friend and she thought maybe she could use some help. She tried to look for you, but she didn't find you” Eddie explained, as if he wanted you to finish trusting him. Of course appearances could be deceiving, but thanks to all the years of knowing him you didn't imagine him capable of taking advantage of you while you were drunk so you relaxed considerably. "What were you doing there, anyway?" His words sounded almost like a scolding.

“Alcohol and drugs are always free at those parties” you replied while shrugging your shoulders “Things just got a little out of hand”

"Hm," he hummed, nodding his head gently. He looked at you and remembered the small detail of the stain on your face, so he got up and looked for a clean cloth that he moistened slightly, then extended it in your direction "You should clean yourself"

"Ajam" you murmured, getting up with difficulty and taking the piece of cloth with your hand. When you began rudely rubbing your cheek Eddie's eyes widened, lunging at you.

"No, don’t do that. You are going to get hurt. Do you want me to help you? No. I'll help you, even if you don't want to” he rambled. He took the rag from your hand after sitting down next to you he gingerly cupped your chin. You didn't say anything while he cleaned you up and for a second you felt like you were going to fall asleep under his soft touch, until a throat clearing brought you back to reality "You have to clean your lip too or it's going to get infected" he explained. He had a poor attempt at a first aid kit next to him; just a half-baked bottle of hydrogen peroxide that no longer had a label and some cotton balls. So you agreed and you decided to do this yourself because you didn't want Eddie Munson's hands near your mouth.

He watched the entire process and after that there was silence between you again, for a long time, but it wasn't as awkward as he expected it to be. Eddie was searching for something to say for conversation, but his thoughts were overwhelmed by the sound of a quiet sob.

You had started crying.

"Hey, hey, what's up?" he exclaimed, panicking completely. His hands were floating in the air not knowing where he should place them “Does it hurt?” he asked, but you awkwardly shook your head “Is it because of those guys? Did they hurt you? Do you want me to tell Steve to kick the crap out of them?" Eddie insisted, but you didn't say anything. It was obvious that you were trying to contain the tears with all your might.

“This is stupid, I'm coming home” you sobbed as you tried to get up without falling on your face. But it was clear you wouldn't even make it to the road, and he panicked and did the only thing he could think of.

He reached out with both arms and wrapped you in a hug.

He didn't even know why he had done it, maybe it was the automatic response he had to seeing someone cry, but the moment you fell on his chest he realized it was probably a bad idea. Knowing you, the safest thing was that you were going to push him or yell at him or insult him or all at the same time.

But even though you tried to walk away, the weight of your pain was greater and you ended up giving in completely. You relaxed into his hold, all the tears you had held back for months were spilling onto the young man's shirt. When was the last time someone hugged you? You could bet it had been years.

"Don't worry, we're fine" he whispered, with a sweet voice that you had never had the joy of hearing, while he ran one of his hands up and down your back. You were completely heartbroken, crying so loud that the neighbors could surely hear you if they wanted to, and Eddie never thought he could see you in such a state.

You were the tough girl in school, who could defend his ideas tooth and nail, who faced others without fear, and who always managed to find a new way to annoy him.

And now you were in his arms, curled up in a ball and expelling all the water from your body in tears.

Of course this was driving Eddie crazy. A few days ago you had wished him a happy weekend with two middle fingers, it had been years and years in which you two shamelessly despised each other that you were collapsing in a single night.

Not even in one night, they were breaking down with a fucking comforting hug.

"I can't take it anymore," you said, with your voice muffled by the fabric of your shirt "My life is a mess and I live in a shitty place and everything... everything is horrible" he was still, thinking about what he should answer before that. But luckily you kept talking "And he was gone for so many years and now he comes back as if nothing happened, hoping that the doors are open and we love him as if he hadn't been the most son of a bitch father" a short pause that was due to a sob “And he yells at us and calls us out and I just want it to be over. Because every day I feel worse than the previous one like I'm drowning in a huge well that no one is going to pull me out of because I don't have a single fucking friend. Because I drink to forget everything and I'm so pathetic and…” you couldn't continue, the overflowing tears didn't leave you, and after this he didn't say anything, but he pressed you closer against his body as if that could make any difference. As if with that he could remove, even a little, the weight of your problems.

Eddie hadn't the slightest idea that all of this was happening to you and now that he was, he felt bad that he never noticed. Most likely, that was why you had been in a bad mood all week and he had been so selfish as to recriminate you for not paying attention to him. But now you were there, opening all your feelings and fears with him, while he was frozen. It was obvious that he didn't know what to say to that, he didn't know you well enough to give an opinion, and yet he wanted to help.

“You can stay here to sleep if you don't want to go home” he offered “And if you need to go, I can take you too. Whatever you need, just ask me,” he murmured, hoping that meant something. For him the best way to help someone was to be of use to them, as he tried to do with you.

“I'm so lonely,” you sobbed, louder than the others, and Eddie frantically shook his head.

“You're not, Y/N. You don't…” Eddie tried to formulate words of encouragement, but he couldn't. So he just held you tight and waited for you to calm down. At some point Eddie couldn't hear you crying anymore and looking down he realized that you had fallen asleep.

He carefully separated you and placed you in a comfortable position between the yellowish pillows, while he covered you with a sheet that Wayne had just bought him.

Eddie still couldn't understand what causality of fate had decided that tonight the girl who could barely stand to be in a room with him would sleep in his bed, but he decided not to make a big deal out of it. For an instant, just a thousandth of a second, through his mind he crossed the idea of lying down next to you to sleep. But he was aware that he didn't sit still at all when he slept and he didn't know how you would react, so he better grabs a pillow and walks down the hall to the couch.

In a few minutes, he was asleep too.

When you opened your eyes, your head hurt horribly and your whole body was sore, but even with these discomforts you couldn't help but notice the ceiling of the room that definitely wasn't yours. You panicked at the first second and sat bolt upright, afraid that someone had dragged you to some seedy place and ruined your life. But instead you saw a messy room that made you suddenly remember everything that had happened the night before.

Oh, that made you panic even more.

Some things were still a little blurry, but you remembered the essentials: you had gotten into a fight, Eddie Munson had come to pick you up, and suddenly all the feelings you had been holding back came out like verbal vomit as you cried on your chest. That couldn't be true, no way.

A feeling of tremendous regret flooded your entire system and your mind wandered to what he could do to you now that he had that information. Was he going to tease? Was he going to use your feelings to blackmail you? Was he going to tell the whole world? You didn't even know why you had told him, but most likely it was all because of the alcohol you had drunk and the bad time you had at the party.

The last week had been too hard for you, you weren't lying to him when you said you lived in a shitty place. Your mother was a woman who made a bad choice when she was young; your father. For years you had endured his abuse and his alcoholism until the twins were born and he decided it was best to leave. To be honest, that relieved you a lot and you didn't feel guilty at all. You had begun to dress as you wanted, to discover what you liked, and to have your own personality. But the dream didn’t last long, at some point your mother couldn’t work a single shift and you had to take care of the twins during the afternoons and evenings, when they weren’t at school, with Fridays off for you. It was a pace of life that you had gotten used to and although it was heavy it was much better than having your father at home. That was why when a week ago he had arrived, drunk and screaming, you had felt so upset. He was worse than you remembered him and he had made your siblings cry, but even with his insistence you didn't let him in the house. He was persistent and it was as if he had been sucking the vitality out of you every time he went to claim you were a bad daughter. And the ghosts of the past were sometimes too heavy.

You were praying with all your might that Eddie had gotten out of the trailer or that he was busy or whatever so that he wouldn't notice that you had woken up. You staggered to get up and search for your shoes, not missing the chance to take a curious look around the place. Now that your vision was less blurry, you could notice the drawers with cassettes, the discarded clothes, and even a box of condoms near some inappropriate magazines. You rolled your eyes at the latter and thought about when was the last time Eddie Munson had touched a… person, making a mental note to tease him about it later.

When you finished putting on your shoes you noticed that you had lost the scrunchie that was holding your hair somewhere and you internally cursed that you had lost your favorite. You sneaked out of the place, not sure where the front door was or if anyone else lived in the house until you ran into the boy sprawled out on the couch while he was snoring a little. The position didn't look comfortable at all, but he seemed to be and you walked past to where you assumed the exit was. But you didn't count on tripping and knocking over a metal tray that was on the nightstand, causing a ruckus loud enough to make him jump awake.

"Trying to run away before twelve, Cinderella?" he asked, with a raspy voice and a sleepy smile.

“Let's not make a big drama out of this. I'll just go,” you answered, slightly uncomfortable. But when you tried to open the door, it was locked.

“First of all, we aren’t foolish enough to give thieves a free pass. And, secondly, you can't leave without having had some breakfast. Probably the only thing in your stomach is that cheap booze,” he said. Eddie stood up fully and stretched his arms up, allowing the shirt he was wearing to ride up just a little to reveal the edge of his boxers and his happy trail. Without you having wanted it, your eyes had already gone to those details and you were only grateful that he didn't notice “Feel free to take what you want. We have cereal, or eggs, or cereal, or a half-wilted banana, or cereal…”

"Cereal, I get it," you said, trying not to express too much. You didn't know why Eddie wasn't kicking you out of there or saying mean things to you yet, so you had to move carefully.

Eddie walked around yawning and rubbing his face with one hand while scratching his butt cheekily with the other. You stood in your spot and when he noticed he beckoned to you in annoyance.

“Are you deaf or what? Come sit down and have breakfast” he exclaimed, a little more like he normally sounded when he talked to you. You walked over and took the plate he gave you, as well as the box of Lucky Charms from which you poured yourself a portion.

Both of you began to eat in silence and although at first you took that as a sign that he was upset, the truth was that he really wasn't. He even looked nonchalant, eating huge spoonfuls as he read the label of a can lying around, completely oblivious to you. You decided to take advantage of the opportunity and finished your plate of food only to serve yourself another because he wasn't lying when he said that surely you only had alcohol in your body.

"Huh, thanks for breakfast" you answered when you finished, a little shy. You wondered if it would be a good idea to talk about what you had the night before and find out if that had changed his perception of you in any way. Or did you just want to know whether to expect an unfavorable reaction or forget it for peace “Do you mind if I use your phone? My mom is probably wondering where I am."

"Of course not, use it" he smiled. You walked over to it and called home, hoping someone would be available. It was heard that they picked up the phone and then a little voice.

"Yeah?"

"Hi, Amy" you laughed "I'm Y/N, is mommy around?"

“She's asleep” exclaimed the little girl “Where are you? Why didn't you come last night?"

"Something happened, I'm at the house of a..." for a moment you doubted that it was the right thing to say and out of the corner of your eye you could see that Eddie is looking at you "friend. If mom wakes up, can you tell her I'll be right back?"

"Okay"

“Thank you, flea. See you in a while"

"Goodbye," said the high-pitched voice and then the beeps sounded indicating that she had hung up.

You wiped your sweaty palms on your pants and turned to him, who didn't even pretend he hadn't been listening to your conversation.

“So we are friends”

“I couldn't tell her I was at the idiot from school's house,” you said, but he burst out laughing.

"I don't think that language is suitable for a girl of..."

"6 years"

"A girl of 6 years" he completed. You were silent for a moment, you looking everywhere except at him and with him seeing nothing but you.

"I guess I'll go, bye" although you rushed towards the exit, he was faster and managed to get in the way, forcing you to stop.

"Let me take you"

"I can walk"

"I realize that. But it's Saturday morning, it's cold, and you're hungover."

You had to admit that your whole body ached and the idea of going in the car seemed very appealing, but you weren't going to allow yourself to owe someone like Eddie Munson any more favors.

"Still, I prefer to walk" you answered, so he gave up. He moved out of the way and looked for the key, in the tray that you had thrown at the beginning, to open the door and let you out "See you later"

"Be careful," he murmured. You had only walked to the porch when he spoke again "Y/N"

"Yes?"

“If one day you want to talk to someone you… you can ask me. I don't judge” he replied. You looked him straight in the eye looking for any sign of lying or an iota of mockery, but the truth is that you could only find sincerity in his gaze.

“You are not going to understand”

"I can try," he insisted. You just wanted him to keep quiet and pretend that nothing had happened. You didn't want him to feel sorry for you.

"Goodbye, Munson" you murmured, going down the stairs and walking on the grass without letting him say anything else.

The next time Eddie saw you, the vitality had returned to you. Although you still had those soft dark spots under your eyes, your face looked less worried and the eyes had returned to glow as they normally did. He assumed that the problems (or at least parts of them) had been resolved over the weekend.

And luckily it was because while you hadn't completely gotten rid of your father, you had managed to get him away with some help from Chief Powell and a threat of a restraining order. That was a relief for you and especially for your mother, so at least you were able to breathe more freely when you entered the school.

"What's up, loser?" you said as you walked past Eddie, taking him by surprise. You didn't stop to look at him, but he grinned at the sound of your voice and stayed that way for the rest of the class. From time to time, you caught him looking at you, and each time you raised your eyebrows at him, as if asking for an explanation, but he just laughed and shook his head. There was something different in the way he was looking at you as if something about you was funny, but you were very grateful that it wasn't some kind of pity or sadness for you.

The two of you didn't speak for the rest of the day, but you did share a couple of teases and smiles that lightened the mood. You kept sitting by yourself and reading the second half of Carrie while he climbed on tables and yelled at jocks.

After a couple of days Eddie came to school with his hair tied up and you were indignant when you noticed the piece of blue cloth that adorned his hair, but when you claimed it, he just laughed.

"I wanted a souvenir, can you blame me?" he murmured softly "Besides I look better than you"

"Oh sure," you said sarcastically, "He was my favorite, you know that?"

"I was going to give it to you, but now that you say you care so much, I think I've lost the urge," he exclaimed, smirking at you. From that day on he used the hair tie daily, sometimes in his hair and other times just on his wrist, but always bringing with him that part of you that he had stolen from you. You weren't going to admit it, but it hadn't bothered you as might be expected.

So time passed and things continued their course. The world went round and round without stopping to think about anyone and you had to learn to live with it.

One night Eddie heard about the party that Chance was throwing for the basketball team and everyone from school that he wanted to go to, so he packed his lunch box full of joints, cocaine, and whatever substances he had on hand to attend. He didn't like these people, but in the end, money was money.

When the boy arrived he was already packed with people and that made it easy for him to mingle with everyone. He would find a quiet corner of the house to sell and when it was all gone, he would go back to his trailer to sleep like a baby.

After selling a couple of things he decided he could smoke a cigarette just to lighten up the night and he almost choked on the smoke when he felt someone drop next to him on the couch and take the cigarette out of his mouth with two fingers.

"You don't mind sharing, do you?" you laughed, inhaling deeply on the tobacco and slapping the boy's thigh briefly. Eddie's eyes lingered for a second on the way your lips suckled and he inadvertently blushed. He thanked God the place was dark or you would have noticed.

"What are you doing here?" he muttered. You took the cigarette out of your lips and put it back on his before answering.

"Alcohol and drugs are free, remember?"

"Well, get drunk as much as you can because I won't give you an ounce of weed" he mocked. You were wearing a black midriff-baring top and ripped black jean pants, while Eddie had opted for a flannel shirt that must have belonged to Wayne, with blue jeans. Both he and you couldn't help but glance in appreciation.

"Then I don't have anything to do around here anymore," you said sadly. You were about to get up when he spoke again.

"And how have you been?"

“Since when do we ask each other personal questions?”

“I was just trying to be nice and see if you deserved something free, but if not, suck my dick”

“Oh, I don't think I could find it”

"Do you want to try?" he scoffed. But the closeness between you, the cigarette resting sweetly between his lips, and the deep voice he used made you a little tense.

"I have been fine. Existing” you admitted, in an attempt to divert the topic “And you? How's your lazy life going?"

"I'm doing fine," he replied, just as calmly. A couple of girls came over to shop and Eddie treated them politely just because they were pretty. As you listened to him talk to them you realized that he wasn't as clumsy at flirting as you had thought "I guess you'll stay here, huh?"

"If it doesn't bother you" you replied, taking his cigarette away again to take a drag "And if it bothers you too, I don't care."

You didn't talk about too much with Eddie, but that didn't mean you weren't having a good time with him. The scent of the only cigarette he had ever smoked was in your nostrils and mixed with a cheap but good-smelling cologne he wore.

When the lunch box was almost completely empty, Eddie slammed it shut and turned to you.

“Do you want to go outside for a smoke?” he asked him, raising his voice over the music someone had put on. You nodded and both of you walked towards the exit until at some point Eddie took your hand to avoid losing you. He was in the front, so you just let him drag you to a more secluded section outside. You ended up in a pool that was surrounded by a fence in a clear sign that you couldn't go there, but it meant nothing to him.

"Do you want a Marlboro or do you want marijuana?"

“Are you going to charge me?” you asked before and he smiled while he shook his head "Then give me a joint"

So he did, and when you placed it in your mouth, Eddie reached over to put it in the fire of a worn black lighter. You caught him looking at your lips, but you didn't say anything. Then he took off his tennis shoes and pulled his jeans up to his knees to put his feet in the pool, which you imitated after a while.

The two of you smoked until there was only a small butt left that you tossed aside and it didn't take long for the effects of the drug to kick in. You could see it in Eddie's narrowed eyes and the goofy smile he had, even though you were sure you looked the same.

"I like your toenails," he exclaimed, his words slow and soft as you gazed down at your own toes with electric blue nail polish.

"You're so high, Munson" you laughed, and then he joined you. Your head felt heavy, but you'd just be careful not to fall forward, or else you'd end up soaking wet. "I never thanked you for that night," you said suddenly. He turned to you to try to get a better look at you and unintentionally he leaned closer "So thanks I guess"

“I hope things have improved”

"Why are you suddenly being so nice to me?" you asked. Although that's supposed to make you happy, the phrase sounded more like a claim.

"What are you talking about?"

“I haven't heard you scoff once about that. You haven't even blamed me for what happened or told anyone, why?"

“Is that what you expect of me? What is an idiot who takes advantage of girls and makes fun of sensitive family situations? I thought you had a better idea of me” he answered, sounding upset and hurt.

"You hate me"

"Oh come on, do you think that shit is serious?" Eddie asked, crossing his arms and frowning at you. “Maybe at first it was real hate, but we're not in middle school anymore. It's a kid thing."

"Then why do you always bother me?"

"Because it's fun. But I'm not cruel enough to mess with something I know hurts you. That's the job of guys like Jason” he argued, nodding towards the interior of the house “And you? Do you really hate me?"

"Maybe," you muttered, though the word sounded more like a question. "I mean, you're annoying."

"My love, there is a huge difference between someone being annoying and hating someone," he murmured. Eddie was too close to you, speaking only in whispers that smelled like what you just smoked “And if you really hated me, you wouldn't be here with me. You need passion to hate and you don't have it. I can see it in your eyes,” he said, exhaling this last sentence with something akin to pain. You didn't know what was happening to Eddie, but what you did know was that he was too close and it was making you nervous.

It's amazing how easily you decided you'd hate this man, you were second-guessing if it was truly worth doing. Being blinded by your supposed dislike for him had never let you notice that over the years he had become more attractive or that he was a sweet person. You didn't even know what you were feeling at the time, to be honest. You only knew that you were very high and that Eddie was sighing almost on your lips.

"So you're saying you never hated me?"

“You're still too maddening. Weeks ago, I could have vomited hearing you speak."

"And what made you change your mind so suddenly?" you asked in annoyance, while you rolled your eyes and took some distance.

"The night I picked you up," he answered. You turned around curiously, hoping he would have a more elaborate response than that. There was silence for a moment and then he spoke "That day I found out that you have feelings, to everyone's surprise" when he said this last, you tapped him lightly on the shoulder and he laughed "And I don't know... seeing you like that made me feel strange”

"I don’t want your pity"

"It's not a matter of pity, it's a matter of empathy," he said. You felt as if you were mesmerized by his huge brown eyes “We are social outcasts, you and I, and you know it perfectly. And it is very stupid that we are striving to maintain. We like the same things, we have the same ideas, we could be good friends if we put our minds to it, would that be so bad for you? Do you really despise me enough to deny yourself a chance to stop feeling lonely?”

You were silent for a moment, the thoughts in your head clumsily trying to sort themselves out. The water from your feet felt cold, your hands were sweaty and you wished with all your might that you hadn't smoked so that this conversation would be more coherent. But part of you also knew that if you weren't in that state, this would never have happened.

“And what are you suggesting? That we just pretend nothing happened and move on?"

“I could get over it, the worst thing you ever did to me was that time you put frogs in my backpack” he laughed, remembering and inevitably making you do too “But I don't think you're bad, just like I'm not. I just think we've carried on a pointless rivalry for so long that it's starting to feel unnecessary now,” he mused. You were still silent, now looking at the blue floor of the pool below you "Either that or you're completely obsessed with me and you can't face your feelings so that's why you bother me daily"

“Woah, stop there, the weed got too high in your brain,” you said between laughs, hearing him laugh too. This short moment you were sharing with him made you realize that it wasn't that unpleasant to be with him. In fact, it wasn't at all.

"Then? Shall we call a truce and join forces to save each other from ending up at the bottom of the social hierarchy?”

“I am at the bottom. You have friends"

“And they could be yours, too,” he said, gently, as he reached out his hand toward you, “Just throw away all these years of unwarranted hatred and start over. You know, like civilized people."

Was it that simple? So short was the step you had to take to end that distance that you yourselves had imposed?

"I doubt very much that you are a civilized person or that you ever have been" you smiled, at the same time that you reached out to take his hand "But it could work"

"It's nice when you're not being a grumpy bitch, don't you think?" he scoffed. In revenge you pushed him into the pool, but he wasted no time pulling you by the leg and giving you the same fate.

You splashed to annoy him and suddenly you were already in a water fight, laughing that your stomach hurt. Above you two the stars seemed to be shining brighter than any other night and the moon witnessed how the water washed away any grudge you had for each other. So, for a brief moment, the whole world was just him and you.

Even though Eddie didn't become your best friend overnight, you were making progress. The first few days you tried (really yes) to stop being rude to each other, but it was something so decisive for your relationship that you couldn't put it aside. Of course, over time the insults were accompanied by smiles or winks from the boy as a silent signal that you were just kidding.

After a few weeks Eddie had already introduced you to his friends and to your surprise they liked you. Most of them were younger than him and you even met the one responsible for him rescuing you from the drunken mess you had been. His name was Robin, he was so nice and it amused you to hear her tangle with her own words.

You remembered Steve Harrington from early High school and although at first you were reluctant to talk to him, when you finally did you realized that he had changed a lot since that time. He was less cocky and even a little dumber. But in a cute way, of course.

But the one you were getting to know the most, obviously, was Eddie. During classes sometimes you would have an exchange of words or he would make you smile. You had found out that he was also a big Lord of the Rings fan and once you spent almost an hour talking about just that. Contrary to what you expected he was quite intelligent and that helped for another couple of deeper talks.

A couple of months was enough for you to be invited to sit permanently with the Hellfire club. You had fit in well with the group and they were a lot of fun, always managing to make you feel good even on the worst days. A part of you was very grateful for this change, because whenever a gray cloud wanted to settle, one of the people around you would blow it away from you. Sometimes unintentionally, other times intentionally.

You were even invited to one of Corroded Coffin's glamorous concerts and a part of you thought that Eddie looked hot playing guitar, but you wanted to take that thought straight to the grave if possible. But the problem was that those kinds of thoughts came more frequently than you would have liked. He was an extremely physical person and most of the time he was touching you in some way, whether it was putting his arm around your shoulders in a friendly way or moving you to the side by his palm on your waist, or whatever else occurred to him. the. Sometimes he would even come up behind him when you were sitting and he would massage your shoulders to entertain himself while you melted at his touch.

And of course you weren't the only one feeling this way, Eddie also suffered his own ordeal every time you took the pack of cigarettes from the back pocket of his jeans or when you were upset and confronted him, your face so close to his that it was difficult for him to find a valid argument to defend himself.

But, as always, both of you thought that it was best to do what you had agreed to from the beginning. Forget and move on.

"Your final work will be in pairs, please be quiet so you can hear your name" spoke the art teacher, trying to be heard above all the noise. You liked the class (even though you weren't the most skilled) so you hoped you'd get a good classmate. You looked around for someone you had a preference for; Stephanie was very good at painting, but Linda was better at drawing. There was another boy, Marcus, who was also quite skilled and who you wouldn't mind working with. You waited patiently until the professor murmured your last name and listened for the next "With Munson."

Your neck turned to see the aforementioned and you frowned in an expression of annoyance mixed with disappointment, while he smiled broadly.

"Soooo" you heard behind you, once the class ended, while an arm was around your shoulders "Your place or mine?"

“Can't we each make a part and then put them together? I don't need to spend more hours than necessary around you” you complained, just to annoy him.

"My house then," he continued, ignoring you.

"It's stupid, of so many people there, why did he have to play us together?"

"Fate, baby," Eddie muttered, shrugging. You had science in the next hour and you knew he was going to go to another room. "At 5?" he asked and you nodded. It was lucky it was Friday, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to accept "Don't be late!" he told you, pointing a finger at you as he headed down the hall.

You only had time to eat and nap at home before walking to Eddie's house, the sound of Kate Bush filling your ears. You had met her thanks to a red-haired girl named Max, whom you had once helped. Well, helped is a saying, because she was being picked on by some guys and you thought you could defend her, but when you got closer, she already had one pinned, so you just took care of the other one. Then you found out that she was friends with Dustin too and that she lived in the same park as Eddie, so you talked to her from time to time and that's how you ended up meeting her favorite singer. In fact, when you arrived, she was feeding a stray dog and you were able to wave to her.

You knocked on the trailer door three times but no one answered so you started banging on it repeatedly and loudly, waiting for him to deign to open it for you. But you were surprised when the door was opened by a tired-looking older man.

“Huh, hi,” you said, suddenly feeling embarrassed at the way you'd been knocking on the door. “Sorry to bother you. I came with Eddie, for a school project "

“Ah, there you are” you suddenly heard. It was him, who saw you from behind him "Just in time" he laughed, looking at the watch on his wrist "Wayne she is my partner, her name is Y/N. Y/N, he's my Uncle Wayne."

“It is a pleasure to meet you. Sorry for knocking so loud."

"Since when do you apologize for being annoying?"

“Eddie, don't be rude” his uncle scolded him, before you could say anything “Welcome, make yourself at home. I'll go to town for a few things, but you guys have fun”

Goodbye Wayne. Be careful” exclaimed the boy, coming forward to hug the man. You didn’t know that he was so affectionate and you smiled in a way that wasn't burlesque, but like tenderness.

"I'll be back in a while," he said and then walked out the door. Family ties weren't something you and Eddie had talked about openly but the fact that he lived with his uncle made you imagine that he too had his own difficult history. But you weren't going to pressure him into telling you anything if he didn't want to.

“Did you bring your material?”

“What you asked me for and a couple of dry paints that my siblings had”

"That will do," he laughed, as he shrugged. He looked quite comfortable and the clothes he was wearing were already worn, but for some reason they seemed soft. “We can go to my room if you want. It will be more comfortable that way” he suggested, so you took a couple of steps and followed him down the hall. You had only been there once, but now it looked cleaner and you couldn't help but make fun of it. Eddie didn't say anything, he just laughed and flopped onto the newly made mattress “I was thinking maybe we could use that finger painting technique and objects and all that. The one we saw last week."

"It could work," you said cheerfully. You took a curious look around the place and Eddie smiled when he noticed.

"What are you thinking about the view?"

"That looks like a virgin's room," you said without a filter and when you realized it Eddie was already laughing out loud.

"I love that you are so transparent with what you think" he replied amused, but without denying or affirming what you just said "You should spend less time criticizing me and more time focused on what needs to be done"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry” you murmured raising your hands. Eddie pulled out a box of art supplies that he had and you were surprised to see some figures that you assumed were for his Dungeons and Dragons club. You assumed that the drawings on the wall were his too and you were impressed, they really were good.

It was about an hour with you guys discussing what you wanted to do and Eddie making some sketches until the last one convinced you and you finally got to work. You were honestly having fun, because the technique was pretty messy and he had lent you a shirt to wear over yours so you wouldn't get dirty. Plus, he'd let you pick out a cassette to put on the stereo, and he'd given you a free beer he had in the fridge.

"You're ruining everything!" he screeched, trying to push you away from the painting. The truth was that you weren't screwing anything up, but he just wanted an excuse so he could get close to you and hear you laugh. Eddie didn't understand why, but lately he was enjoying both.

"Munson!" you yelled back. A small fight developed between you, but it was just powerless slapping.

You stayed like that for a while, none of you wanting to give in, just messing around like a couple of kids who want to have the last word. Once you calmed down, Eddie looked at you breathlessly and noticed a peculiar detail.

"You have something here," he said, pointing to his own right cheek.

"Here?" you asked innocently, carving your fingers over the skin. But you had only succeeded in staining yourself more.

“Yeah, but you—” Eddie began, cutting himself off with a laugh at the green paint on your face “You're the worst at cleaning yourself, just give me that, you silly" he muttered amused, reaching a little to take a handkerchief that he had lying around and putting one hand on your jaw while the other was in charge of rubbing the stain "This is the second once,” he complained, with a tiny smile.

His grip on him was careful and his movements against your cheek gentle. He was so close to you that you could feel your knee hitting his and you looked anywhere but at him in a desperate attempt not to freak out. Even so, out of the corner of your eye you managed to notice the tip of his tongue placed on his lower lip as a sign of concentration and a hint of a smile escaped you.

He was probably cleaning you up longer than necessary, but when he finally finished you turned to look at him, and although you wanted to say something mocking the words got stuck in your throat. Eddie was still holding your chin and after a few seconds he began to gently slide his thumb over your skin while he watched you closely. You could feel his breath hitting your nose and you honestly didn't know what it was that had him so enthralled. But unintentionally, you too got a little lost in his rounded features and bright eyes that you never took the time to appreciate. Although that wasn't the worst, the worst was when you caught your friend blatantly staring at your lips. You knew you had to tell him something, anything, but you didn't feel capable of doing it because you were sincerely enjoying the way he looked at you; as if you were something forbidden... or something desirable, which was even better. Unconsciously your eyes also dropped to his plump lips and you wondered if they felt as soft as they looked. He didn't have a trace of a beard, a sign that he had shaved in the morning with the cream you were smelling thanks to your proximity. Eddie's hand gently tugged at your chin and you obediently lifted your face to where he meant to take you. It was clear you were going straight for his lips, but with an inch to go Eddie suddenly released you and stepped away from him. Then a scandalous sneeze.

Nerves combined with surprise made you giggle, which then turned into laughter.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized, actually looking sorry.

"Are you trying to tell me I smell bad?" you dared to say to cut the tension, making him imitate your laughter.

Both of you knew perfectly well what was going to happen had it not been for the interruption of that sneeze and that was why your cheeks had turned a deep red and you avoided looking at each other. The distance was no longer so short, which allowed you to think more clearly.

“We should continue with the work, we are almost done”

“Huh, yes. You're right,” Eddie exclaimed, trying his hardest not to stutter.

You were quiet from then on, just listening to the songs filling the room and concentrating on painting your own section of the canvas in front of you. From time to time, you looked up to see him and were grateful that your eyes never met, even when Eddie was doing the same.

You were too worried to figure out what the hell that meant. You could have guessed the boy's intentions from the beginning, with the simple fact of your fingers holding his face, but still you let him do it, and not only that but you also helped. A very deep part of you had felt eager and aroused to close the distance and see what he had to offer you. But why? That was the real question.

“I think it turned out really well for us,” you said, after admiring the final product of your work “Considering we did it in a couple of hours and using mostly our fingers” you added, hearing him laugh.

"I'll put it on the shelf to dry and bring it back Monday," he informed you, to which you nodded. It was already dark and you had nothing else to do there, so you thought of your only logical option: leave.

“I have to go home, but see you later”

“Do you want me to come with you?” Eddie exclaimed, almost immediately, "I can't give you a ride because there's something wrong with the van and I'm going to check it out this weekend, but I could still walk you if you want."

This was the second time he was offering to share a little more time after being at his house and you knew you'd regret it if you said no again, so you agreed. He seemed quite happy and only had to put on his tennis shoes and a big black sweatshirt to be ready. When you left the trailer Max was also leaving his and just as you did when you arrived, you also said goodbye. She didn't say anything, but she would make sure to tell her friends that she had seen you out with Eddie that night.

Your house was so far from the trailer park, so you and he would be together for about a half hour, by your calculations.

"Did you hear Iron Maiden announced a new album?" he said to break the ice. That was enough for you two to start talking (as almost every time) about music. Eddie had both hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt and was walking more shyly than usual, maintaining a goofy grin most of the time.

Months ago you wouldn’t have imagined that you would be walking so happily by his side, so it was still a bit overwhelming at times. But you liked him a lot, Eddie was a good person despite everything and he could tell that he cared about you, otherwise he wouldn't be wasting his time bringing you home.

Suddenly Eddie started talking about a very funny anecdote with Robin, but the way he talked about her was so animated and loving that you felt a tug in your chest that you didn't understand why. You stopped listening for a second because of the idea that had crossed your mind and you had the urge to express.

"You like her?" you asked suddenly. Eddie snapped shut and looked at you with a frown.

“Robin?” he said and you nodded. After this he let out a laugh "It wouldn't work, believe me"

"But do you like her?" you insisted, not wanting to stick with a half answer.

"Why so much interest?" he scoffed, nudging you friendly with his shoulder, while you rolled your eyes.

“If you don't want to answer me that's fine, I don't care. I was just curious,” you snorted. Eddie seemed very amused by the whole thing and was looking down at you with a wide grin.

“She likes someone else and even though she's a great friend, she’s not my type at all. So no, I don't like her” he replied. You nodded softly, not knowing what else to say, when suddenly his arm was entwined with yours and he pulled you closer to him. "Are you jealous?" he asked playfully against your ear.

"What? Why should I be?" you exhaled indignantly, trying to get away from him, but instead of letting go, he put his arm around your shoulders. His hair reached your cheeks and his body was so warm that you were about to ask him to stop so you could hug him properly.

But that was unthinkable, how could you feel or think that kind of thing for him? It wasn't right, was it?

"I can walk alone from here if you want," you said, after a few minutes of being silent. His arm hadn’t left your body until that moment.

"Are you sure? It looks kind of dark,” he exclaimed, glancing at the streets beyond.

"I'll be fine. Thank you for having me…” you started to say, but you were interrupted when you saw a car passing by. Without thinking twice, you grabbed Eddie's sleeve and pulled him to a tall, leafy tree that was out there, letting his body cover you.

"What's going on?"

"It's my dad" you whispered. Eddie sensed your fear and leaned closer to you, crushing you between his hard trunk and his soft body, while you placed both palms of your hands on his chest. "I don't want him to see me”

"Okay, no problem," he said to reassure you, while he tried to hide you as best as possible from the sight of anyone who passed by. He suddenly thought there was a better way to do it and he used both arms to pull you into a hug, which you didn't refuse. You felt safe with the contact and the softness of the fabric of his sweatshirt was most comforting. After a while you raised your head over his shoulder and realized that, although it was the same car, it wasn't your father.

"It's a neighbor," you informed Eddie, breathing a sigh of relief and resting your cheek against his shoulder as you laughed.

Now that that worry was gone you realized the position you were in and tensed up a bit. The man's palms were planted firmly on your back and there was zero distance between you, so when you raised your head, you almost brushed his lips. Almost.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," you hummed, looking into his eyes. The feeling of heat running through your entire body returned to you and your breathing quickened considerably "I was just scared, but everything is fine" you exclaimed laughing "I'm sorry"

"Don't apologize, it's fine," he insisted, with such gentleness in his voice that it made you shiver. One of his hands went up your side and brushed your hair away from the side of your face, then rested on your cheek. "Maybe this isn't the best time to say it, but I think it's pretty."

"What?"

“Your smile,” he said. The truth had taken you by surprise that answer and the only thing you could do was frown in confusion.

"What?" you repeated, this time with a higher, more nervous voice. You were so, so close to him that it wasn’t necessary to speak more than whispers.

“Your smile is pretty. You're pretty” he continued, completely oblivious to the blush you already had on your cheeks while you panicked. You had completely forgotten about the scare you had been through, now all your attention was on the way Eddie was approaching you.

Your palms were still on his body and if you wanted you could push him away, but you didn't have the willpower to do so. On the contrary, you were slowly stretching upwards. You couldn't think, you couldn't speak or react coherently at that moment, all your mind could process was the urgent need you had for Eddie Munson's lips. So when he moved the last bit of distance you held back a gasp and when he finally kissed you both of you exhaled shakily.

The contact began sweet and careful, so slow that it allowed you to explore all the sensations. His lips tasted like the beer you'd been drinking, the skin where your hands were felt warmer than usual, and ungraspable strands of his hair tickled you. You had your eyes closed and still with some shyness he slid his hand down your neck until he reached the nape of your neck, in an attempt to deepen (but not too much) the contact. So you did and by inertia your hands ended up at the base of his neck, trying to hold him in the kindest way you could.

Eddie pressed your body against the tree and took the opportunity to slide his tongue along the contour of your lips, like a silent request that you agreed to without hesitation. You discovered that he was a skilled kisser and you regretted ever judging him so harshly because right now he was achieving the ideal balance of being tender and driving you crazy at the same time.

You didn't want to cut off contact for fear of taking back what you were doing, so when you got short of breath you parted slightly and then you kissed again. His taste was making you dizzy and you were thanking God you were leaning against a surface, otherwise you would have fallen straight to the floor because of your shaky legs.

“Eddie” you managed to say, after what seemed like an eternity. But this, more than stopping him, encouraged the boy to continue leaving short and fleeting kisses on your mouth.

"Say it again"

"Say what?" You managed to ask between kisses.

"My name. I like how it sounds on you” he confessed, getting you to put on a smirk.

"Edward?"

"No," he said, in a quiet voice, almost like a tantrum "I feel like you're scolding me when you say that"

"So Eddie?" you asked joining your lips almost afterward. You managed to get up a little and take him by the neck of his sweatshirt to reverse positions without stopping kissing him at any time "Eddie..." you started to say, stealing a deep kiss "Eddie, Eddie, Eddie" you continued, between more kisses, as if you wanted to recover at that moment all the times you had called it something else. He thought his man sounded like a song coming from your lips, especially when you were whispering it over his.

You were completely beside yourself, just succumbing to the carnal desires that were buried deep within you for a long time, until you had the strength to stop and look at him. He had red cheeks, pupils shining widely in both eyes, and lips swollen completely. Luckily for you, you didn't feel regret at first glance.

"Wow," he exhaled. You couldn't think of another expression to describe what had just happened and when he started laughing out of sheer nerves you imitated him. Eddie removed his hand from the nape of your neck to lower it to your back, at waist level, while you rested your grip on the fabric of his clothing.

"That was strange"

"You don’t like me?"

"Yeah, it just felt… strange" you laughed and as you did you leaned in a little closer to him "I mean, I didn't think we… I never thought we'd ever get to kiss"

"I like spontaneity," he joked, chuckling. To be honest he felt as if he had just run a marathon, full of adrenaline and excitement, but also very nervous about what just happened could mean for you.

"So…" you started to say, one of your hands fiddling with the chain of the necklace Eddie always wore, "That time you said it bothered you because I couldn't face my feelings you were actually talking about yourself, huh?” you scoffed, seeing him get even more flushed than he already was. "Who would have thought?"

"It’s not like this"

"Since when do you know?"

"Know what?"

"That you are completely obsessed with me" you continued, moving a little closer to provoke him.

"You wish I was!" he laughed as he took you by the wrists and pulled you away a bit. But in the middle of this maneuver, he managed to steal a kiss from you that made you smile.

"Your words and your actions aren’t very congruent, Munson" you joked again. You hadn't stopped touching each other at any time "I really have to go home or my mom is going to worry"

"Let me accompany you"

"No," you said, in a soft but determined voice "I don't..." you started to say, feeling the young man's attentive gaze "Maybe you can come later, yes?"

"Okay," he exclaimed sympathetically, as he let go of your hands and took a step back. Although you had said that you had to leave, you weren’t making the slightest effort to get away, because you wanted to talk to him first. You had discovered in recent months that this served to clarify things and avoid sorrow.

"I don't know why you kissed me, but I liked it," you said absently, hoping to cause some impact or an answer with that, but when you didn't hear him say anything you spoke again "See you Monday"

“I like you” he murmured, as if he had been thinking deeply during those seconds “I didn't know before, but now I do and I wanted you to know too. If that means anything” he timidly confessed to you. You took a step and, as if you hadn't had enough, planted a small kiss on him that made him smile.

"I think you're fucking cute, but sometimes I can't stand you"

“I can shut up if my mouth is busy. Effective and fast”

"You're crazy if you think I'll keep kissing you just like that"

"What if I ask you to be my girlfriend?" he asked, so quickly that he didn't realize it until the words had left his mouth. You crossed your arms and looked him up and down, analyzing the candidate.

"Ask me and then we'll see" you replied playfully. You really couldn't waste any more time “Bye, Eddie. Be careful, please."

"Good night," he murmured. The two of you headed off in opposite directions and when you had gone a few meters you felt the need to look back, only to discover that he had done the same "Love you" he blurted out suddenly, a little louder than normal so you could hear him.

You bit your lip to contain the excited smile that threatened to appear.

"Love you" you replied too, waving goodbye.

You weren’t lying when you said that you never imagined that something like this would happen between you. Eddie wasn’t a person you planned to be in your future and yet there you were, wishing with all your heart that he would keep his promise so you could be more than just friends. Friends, he and you were fucking friends, and to top it off you just kissed him. That sounded so unreal.

You entered the house with the biggest smile of all and butterflies fluttering strongly around your stomach, now knowing that what you felt for Eddie Munson was nothing more than love.

TAG LIST: @sweetdayme4427 @smol-book-nerd @ilikewomendealwithit @harringt8ns @katsukis1wife @ilovereadingfanfics

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things 4 #joseph quinn #enemies to lovers #eddie munson enemies to lovers #rivals to lovers #its pure cliche

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theaveragepsychoticbitch · 9 months

Note

May we get some HC of jataka (record of Ragnarok) He needs more love and I hardly see anything for him

I really liked him in the show, too, so this is great<3!

Jataka x GN!Reader || Headcanons || SFW&NSFW || CW for mentions of cum eating, dry humping, overstimulation, oral (receiving), and messy makeouts. Of course, not proofread.

All he wanted was to be do something to make himself happy. To be... selfish, for once. So...

He's shameless about keeping you all to himself. He understands you can't just sit in the house with him all day, cuddled up, kissing or watching movies or doing things, but... that doesn't mean he can't be upset about it.

Ecstatic when you surprise him with things. Gifts, dates, kisses, hugs. Big or small, his heart soars when you do anything for him, as he's so used to being the one doing stuff for people.

Similarly, he loves doing things for you. Unlike his kingly duties, he doesn't feel a crushing pressure to succeed with you. If he fucks up, it won't be a stain on his reputation, nor will it constantly be used against him in the future. You'll make the most of it together.

Big cuddler. Can't decide between little and big spoon, so you guys take turns. He's a big guy, and if you're smaller than him, he's smiling partially because he finds the way you cling to his back adorable. And if you're bigger, it's partially because he's quickly becoming obsessed with the feeling of being smothered in your arms.

Also loves to face you during cuddles. Loves loves loves the heated eye contact you two make when in that position.

Nsfw

Head God. He'd kiss your sex all day if you'd let him. Trying to call him on his bluff, you let him. Short story shorter, he wasn't bluffing at all.

Big on making out. Especially sloppy ones, where you're sucking each other's teeth and tongue, with strands of saliva connecting your mouths. Panting and flustered to the point where you can only blindly tear at each other's clothes. Yeah, those ones.

He discovered he liked dry humping when you grinded on him in your sleep. He'd been to scared to act then, and sat in bed with a boner for hours. But in the morning, you were more than happy to hump him through your clothes. As you rocked against him, you'd watch as his eyes widened, breathe lost on a sharp exhale. He'd grip at whatever was around as he lost control over his voice, whimpers and moans spilling out loudly as you brought him to climax.

Cum eating. That's it that's the tweet-

But no, really. As king, there was surely lots of pressure to produce a heir. Swallowing it makes him feel like he's rebelling a bit, taking back control of his own life.

And maybe, just maybe, he really likes the taste of your cum.

Overstim him. Make him feel everything, all at once, for as long as you want. He wants to see stars; to feel his legs give out and babble nonsense because you fucked the thoughts from his head. Fuck him till he's shooting blanks, then keep going. Only when he can't find the strength to arch his back when he cums anymore should you stop.

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #record of ragnarok x reader #jataka #jataka snv #jataka ror #the psychotics writing

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starlightbelle · 1 year

Text

What is this??

Underrated quote that doesn’t exist…you mean?

Because this line isn’t in the movie

I came across this post on Pinterest and let the record show as a long time MTR enjoyer (and a kid who knew this movie forwards and backwards so well that actually did type out a chunk of the movie in script format from memory) that I recognized it to be a fake in approximately .00002 seconds

Everyone in the comments was like “yet another reason to love this movie” and stuff like that, but that…isn’t a line from the movie

At this exact moment, Wilbur hands Lewis the paper (schematics) and tells him basically to go fix the Memory Scanner:

Wilbur: Now…now don’t make me go and bail you out again.

Lewis: I won’t.

Wilbur: Remember, I’ve got a time machine. If you mess up, I’ll just keep coming back until you get it right.

Don’t believe me?

I’ve linked a YouTube video to the scene in question:

youtube

As far as I can tell, this is an abridged version of a quote from Ziad K. Abdelnour(?), according to a quick Google search:

“Just because the past didn't turn out like you wanted it to, doesn't mean the future can't be better than you ever imagined.”

But either way: no, it’s not a line from Meet the Robinsons.

I’ve got more thoughts, because Wilbur was never framed as a guide or therapist for Lewis in the movie. One could argue that Wilbur is the reason Lewis decides he can have a happy future, letting go of his past…but that’s as far as it goes.

Wilbur very rarely, if at all, offers sage words of wisdom or advice or any quotes that are framed as such.

What about “Keep Moving Forward”? You may ask…well, technically that’s Cornelius’ line, and Wilbur flat-out tells him such, “it’s my Dad’s motto,” he says.

What motivates Lewis ultimately is himself. It’s seeing the future he can have; knowing that he’s happy and has a family and has everything he ever wanted and is so unexpected and exciting and he loves it…and that realization really comes from himself because he sees a future that shows him it’s possible.

But it’s not even a passive thing, either. When he meets his older self, he suggests “if I go back now, then this will be my future!”

To which Cornelius replies, “Well…that depends on you. You gotta make the right choices, and keep moving forward.”

Lewis has to play an active role in dictating which direction his life will go. He really has to let go of the past, like his advice to Goob earlier in the film. That’s really the scene where he starts to come to terms with that, anyway.

Wilbur is the avenue through which it happens (which, again, Wilbur being his son you could also argue is an extension of himself since without Cornelius, Wilbur wouldn’t exist…)

So framing Wilbur as offering these wise words to Lewis in their parting moments is frankly…laughable to me. Wilbur has always been my favorite character but his most serious line in the whole film is “I never thought my dad…would be my best friend”

#meet the robinsons #wilbur robinson #lewis robinson #cornelius robinson #Disney #mtr meta #my post

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wolame-o-ccx · 3 months

Text

Comprehensive Rocky Hyuga rambling ☺️🤍❤️

(a guide to Rocky Hyuga basically)

(or the words of a deranged person, you decide)

Their first time seeing each other, Hyuga's eyes linger on Rocky longer than when the others came by. The unnaturally soft gaze he gives him was unwanted, how he stayed just staring at him was unwanted, how his entire demeanour went back to his normal crazy Hyuga after Oya and Rude came is not coincidental (I'm crazy) and yet they put it in anyway.

In the container yard fight, there was a scene where Rocky jumped down from an orange container to fight alongside Yamato. Right after that, the camera PURPOSELY FLIES (no transition) BACK to the same orange container Rocky started out fighting from, meaning at some point they fought side by side.

Rocky "won't let a colour stain the White Rascals" but he himself is tainted with red with his glasses and his gloves so maybe after the first movie he had a little feeling after fighting alongside Hyuga then smiling at him, they both celebrated that victory not yelling with their team but smiling at each other and Rocky becomes curious and intuitive towards him.

When Hyuga came to save Rocky, Rocky was the first thing he set his eyes on. When he saw Rocky and Ranmaru fighting, the first thing he says, he says to Rocky, even if it was,

" Hey! You look pathetic! "

It still meant Hyuga had his eyes on Rocky the whole time.

Rocky thought he might just be fucked, but when he came down saving him, (not only that but broke some guy's arm for him!) Rocky was completely taken aback. The way he turns to Hyuga in surprise after telling Ranmaru he wasn't on his side amused Hyuga.

How Hyuga turned to look at him for a split second as he walked to welcome Daruma into the fight. From the moment he arrived, he took glances at Rocky and bothered to kid with him (encourage him?) before their fight started.

"Still, I like the passion in your fights" is such a crazy fucking line because of how implied it is that Rocky has admired and is admiring Hyuga because how else could you observe one's fight to its fullest? Not like they recorded his fighting on anything. He would have to look at him from across the battlefield mid fight. Rocky took some time to observe Hyuga especially and he didn't say a thing about anyone else and that's so crazy. He watched him out of everyone else in the midst of several battles. (This can also be interpreted into Todoyuken is the thing so I think I'm following a string of patterns here) Anyway, any normal person would easily call Hyuga's fighting style insanity, but Hyuga isn't insane, he's passionate, as Rocky describes him. When Rocky sees him, he associates him with his colour. Red. Knowing he specifically said passion implied it is a compliment, even more when he tells Hyuga that's something he likes about him. As far as I am aware, Hyuga has been the only person Rocky has complimented (notably), and it was Hyuga.

Rocky accepts Hyuga's insanity (or passion, he calls it) and Hyuga enjoys Rocky's mellow sort of demeanor and finds comfort in him that way.

Extra things :)

Putting it all in one post to showcase just how severe the brainrot is

I think Rocky would lead Hyuga out somewhere to have deep talks and he finds Hyuga has sanity and good views also Hyuga falls asleep easily that if Rocky touches him (hug, embrace, arm over shoulder,etc.) he can pass out immediately because he's so comfortable with him how they would dance in the club after hours when everyone is gone how they'd walk around the streets in their very different styles that it feels so foreign to everyone else but between them it doesn't even matter how Hyuga would cling onto Rocky and/or fall asleep on him while Rocky is doing work

How they don't particularly do affection especially physical affection but when it's quiet and there's nothing to do they just instinctively move towards each other and then slowly fall asleep like that how Rocky would give Hyuga knuckle kisses and forehead kisses and Hyuga would give Rocky gifts all the time MAYBE A LOLLIPOP BOUQUET they would tease each other, Rocky barely, but Hyuga would

Hyuga would be the kind to sort of have some expectations in Rocky, thinking he's quite high and mighty for a reason. He'd be disappointed when he finds out Rocky's life doesn't mean much to him, not because he wants to die but because he's willing to sacrifice himself for what he's worked for since the start. And Hyuga would be disappointed to find that out because he holds his own life up quite high in his priorities, not because he's a narcissist but because he has the ability to protect himself and everything he cares about, which is a lot more than people know.

Rocky loves the instability, just as much as he has it inside himself, and he admires Hyuga because he can be so loud and passionate about what he's fighting for. Rocky can understand his vigor, and finds it amusing how enthusiastic he gets in the battlefield.

They have a back-and-forth flirting thing with each other, the subtle glances and insinuations in their words when they talk to each other. None of it is ever genuinely bad, most of it a sort of test to see who wins the teasing words exchanged between them.

Hyuga holds up Rocky's life very high too because he admires how he can be so devoted to this one thing in his life but that can also be his downfall. Rocky has barely any intentions of doing anything else other than protecting, and Hyuga doesn't need to be protected, so Hyuga protects Rocky because Rocky doesn't care what happens to him.

The night rides they'd have on Rocky's motorcycle or Hyuga's car would be anything but loud. They are comfortable in each other's presence. They are complete opposites, but in a way that puzzle pieces are different, so they fit each other.

Rocky thought Ranmaru and Hyuga were exactly the same when he first met Hyuga, but after further observation, he came to the conclusion that, no, they were so different. Ranmaru fights, but Hyuga protects. That was something he realised that made him come to start liking Hyuga.

Rocky not wanting anyone (else) to die for him so when Hyuga tells him "I'll fight for you" instead of "I'll die for you" it makes him so happy.

When they're together, here'd be some kind of warm silence and it's quiet but not because they dont know how to talk to each other, but because they're simply comfortable with each other, like they trust each other.

Vague + indifferent is so interesting and not a popular trope but it works, and it works with them. It's also how they're so different and yet so similar at the same time. Had they become friends, I think they'd both try and sort of uncover things about each other, Hyuga because Rocky is mysterious in general and he isn't usually curious, but he is about Rocky and Rocky because Hyuga is just interesting (crazy) to him. They would have this dynamic where they're sort of mature? Around each other? If that makes sense IDK. They're serious, but casual at the same time.

I've been at this since 3am last night I'm going to die now [explodes]

#high&low #rocky mutsugi #high&low rocky #high&low hyuga #hyuga norihisa #rocky hyuga #going to die #cant post my 11 minute video so this is what ill do instead

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royalsunshinehotel · 2 years

Text

9:45pm (Hassan el-Shabbaz x f!reader, 18+)

Warnings: references to past violence, Social Media saves the day, thigh riding, loss of virginity?, reference to erotophobia, best friends to lovers, unprotected sex.

A year ago, Hassan el-Shabbaz had been shot in the line of duty. Those were his words, but you didn’t believe that cults fell under the jurisdiction of a small town Sheriff. You think of that night as little as possible, and each time you do, you shiver. An evening like this felt impossible back then, and you were here, living it.

The two of you needed this movie night. The movies were mostly awful, but sometimes you just wanted to sit next to him.

He was, and is, your responsibility.

Ever since you hitched a ride in Hassan's airlift back to the mainland, Ali had gotten the impression you were in love with his father.

You were, and you knew if a seventeen year old boy could see it, you hadn't been guarding your feelings as well as you thought.

But that couldn't matter right now. Hassan sets the bowl of popcorn down on the table, on your side of the couch. He'd been scowling for the past few days, his latest medical appointment had been that past Monday. He'd insisted on going alone, and you, his best friend, had said alright.

And of course, the one time you didn't ride the ferry with him, something happened. Technically, it wasn't your business, but he didn't keep secrets from you.

"Did you see Ali this week?" You ask, voice even. With effort, he turns to you.

"Yeah. He's doing good with school so far. Apparently going viral is good with the ladies." You raise an eyebrow, "his words, not mine."

"That's good, that's good. Now how are you?"

He grunts in response, not anticipating you swatting your hand on his arm.

"Somethings up, pal. Talk to me." You order and he gives you the side-eye.

"We can watch the movie at anytime...pal." He replies in a flat tone.

You say nothing

Hassan can't look at your face, because he knows your expression. Your making a pout, but your eyes are wide and soft. You started making this expression when you noticed how quickly he'd cave to you. But now you were worried. The two of you are supposed to be closer than this.

"I don't want to wreck the night."

"Hassan, tell me." You look like you're about to burst into tears, and he knows you well enough to know what your voice sounds like when that happens.

"I got released. This is as good as I'm going to get."

"but you're still doing physical therapy, right?" you question, silently begging him to look at you.

"I am. But I'm weak, and I'm old, and you'll be too polite to say your bored with me."

"That's the dumbest thing you've ever said Sheriff." Did he really think you could leave him after last Easter? You flash on that moment in the church where Hassan was pinned down, and you broke an Instagram live record streaming Father Paul and Beverly Keane poison the parish, and themselves.

"Hassan you got shot. Twice."

"Yeah, I was there. I've found peace with it, but I'm not what I was." What the fuck did that mean?

"You're not supposed to be, that's how guns work. And cults!"

"Okay, yes you're right. But I'm still fucking old. I don't want you to be my nurse!" His tone takes you by surprise. If you were about to cry earlier, you sure were now.

"Then how do you want me?"

Hassan takes your chin in his hand, angling your mouth to his. You gasp sharply, mind barely catching up with your mouth

Hm. Warm. Scratchy.

And as quick as he pulled you in, he pulls away.

"Please don't say anything," he asks, and all you can do is smile- a full, face cracking, sunbeam of a smile.

"Don't do that with your face," grumbles Hassan, trying to keep his so-called "cop-face", but masks were slipping, if not completely gone.

"Why?" You ask.

"I'll have to do this," he pulls you back in again, more fiercely this time, beard scratching your face. You feel winded, but it doesn't matter. You just want to be as close to him as possible.

Hassan feels the same, so when he moves you into his lap, you let him. You'd pictured yourself straddling him before, but the real thing is always better than a dream, you knew that too well.

When you smile, he has to follow suit, it's near impossible not to.

Your mouths slate together with ferocity as pressure in the room releases. Your thoughts, your plans, that had kept you so put together were floating out of your mind with a frightening speed.

It's not until you feel his teeth on your neck that you push him back.

"Hassan, I'm scared. I'm not- I don't do this." Your shaking in his grip, heart pounding in your ears. He moves his hands to your waist, bringing you down. You weren't scared of him, not really. This was just out of your realm of understanding. Only slightly, but still far.

"It doesn't have to be anything past this, we can stop."

"No. No I want more." You declare, Hassan's dark eyes going round looking at you.

"You want more?" He ask, looking you straight in the eye to see your response.

"Yeah." you shake your head for yes, and he grins for the first time in months.

"Let's try this. He says as his fingertips dig into you, helping your pelvis roll against his. Sparks make a home in your bones. The hardness beneath

"Did you like that?" You hold

"S'good." You whine. More, more more.

"Nothing to be afraid of, it's just me, right?"

If your mind had been clear, you would have had him explain every move he made.

"Maybe next time," you think, not questioning that there would be a next time. What you don't realize is that your words were out loud. Hassan was in something of a tailspin thinking about next time.

But he can't let himself go down that rabbit hole. He needs to kiss you until all the thoughts that made your brows furrow disappeared. You

"Hm?"

"Stand up a second," he orders, voice raspy. You obey. Hassan quickly and quietly pulls down your pajama pants, helping you step out of them.

"Use my leg." He says, and you don't quite know what he means, until he pulls you back down into his lap. He makes the same movement as before, only grinding your clit against a muscular thigh. You gasp at the contact, sending electric shocks through your body.

If you had been in a clear frame of mind, you would have worried about the growing wet patch, or that he was uncomfortable with your full weight on top of him, but he rolled you down on him again before you could verbalize your concerns.

"Hassan," It's too good, I don't know what to do. You want to say, years of feelings bubbling up.

"I know, I know." He couldn't know! How could he possibly know how angry and scared he'd had you. How dare he be the hero!

"Good girl, always so good." He praises softly, and your body takes over your mind again.

Rolling, you finish with a sad little whimper, leaning as far into him as you can. He's warm and steady and soft, and you hum in satisfaction,

"Feeling alright, sweetheart?" He asks, moving your hair out of your face.

"More." You set your face into an expression you hoped would come across as stern, but it wasn't. Pulling away from his warmth, your hands take a life of their own. You palm Hassan through his sweatpants, making his breath hitch, before wandering below the waistband and pulling him free.

Is this what people do? Is this how it's always supposed to feel?

It would almost be embarrassing how quickly you lined him up with your heat. If it was anyone else, but it wasn't. It's Hassan.

"Steady, just like that." He coaxes, grabbing your hips and making you slow down. Instinctively, you lean your forehead down against his.

Hassan had many dreams about what it might be like to have you stretched out on his cock like this. For a moment, just a moment, he wishes he'd kept up with drawing do he could capture your sweet little face, trying so hard to be brave, to take all of him that you could.

"Still scary?" He questions as you nuzzle into him.

"No." You hide your face in his shoulder as he rests his palms on your waist.

"Nice and slow." He coaches, but it doesn't last long. There was a shift in you that he didn't

He feels you lose a colorful nail digging into his shoulders, as you meet him halfway, instinct taking over. You're surreal. You're so calm and composed, and here you're grinding into him like an animal, chasing something you couldn't reach by yourself.

Hassan thinks, "Go on, take what you need. Take everything I have and I'll thank you for it."

You flutter around him, and Hassan gapes up at you. Your teeth catch his lower lip as your sheriff makes a strangled sound, trying with everything he had, to keep himself under control.

"Where?" He asks, and it takes you a full second to respond, lost to him and yourself.

"I'm on birth control." Hassan exhales, helping to bounce you a few final times before bringing you as close as he can, feeling you squirm and clench down around him.

The sound that leaves your mouth is a sound you have never made before, but it's not your fault.

The knot in your belly snaps, the levee breaks, the high wire you'd been walking has evaporated beneath your feet, and you were falling.

You take him with you, all the way down. The heat between your legs feels addictive, and correct. Fuck the consequences, the two of you deserved this.

You shiver and shake as he holds you steady. Your pussy still throbbing around him, despite his softening cock. The squelching and gasping the two of you make doesn't feel real.

None of this feels real, but then again, Easter had been a once-in-a-lifetime traumatic event, why couldn't he keep you here, like this.

Hassan had many dreams about what you would look like filled with him. Youre delicate, worn out, just as exhausted. Here you were, a more beautiful picture than he ever would have been able to dream up.

Hassan keeps you wrapped around him on the couch. He wanted to ask what you meant by "I'm scared." If it had something to do with last Easter, he'd have to introduce you to his therapist. If you'd overcome a phobia to have him like this, he'll have to make it up to you tenfold.

Though it's not like that would take any effort. The moment he set foot on this island, you had him. It was just a law of nature.

Your sheriff tells you that he loves you, quietly, pressing the words into your shoulder. The two of you stay still, listening to the bugs hum outside.

#rahul kohli #midnight mass #hassan el shabbaz #hassan x reader #sheriff hassan x reader #smut #deadass took me two months to write sorry bestie #bruh this isn't very capital-N Nasty but I hope it suffices

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reasonsmandy · 10 months

Text

Me, a coward?

Graham Dunne x Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by anon — a graham dunne request with prompt 22 please 😘

✧.* summary — You two were an interesting game, something that flared up as fast as fire flames on dry land, a specific kind of tension that was always good to relive and experience. And that's what you guys did at any opportunity.

✧.* warnings — jealousy

✧.* word count — 2.3k

✧.* 🪕 — Graham's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — hey guys, hope y'all are doing well... I've been thinking abt changing my prompt list, so if you want smt with any of those prompts pls ask it before I change it.

You were restless, it had been so long since you had attended a big event like this one, your excitement was growing by the second. As you rummage through the clothes in your closet looking for a suitable option, the hypotheses of what could happen tonight flit through your mind like migrating birds.

But you couldn't deny that your thoughts mostly led you to Graham Dunne, you guys had some connections in common, which linked you to the guitarist of the band every time you went to the same places (which happened with a strange frequency that made you question if it wasn't something planned by the guy). However, sometimes, fate simply sets up scenarios and, ironically enough, you were its main pieces.

The first time you guys met was at a record company event, which you ended up being invited to because they had produced the soundtrack for your last movie. During all the night you were exchanging curious glances, some unassuming touches where your hands “accidentally” touched, it was like a dangerous dance with the tension and yearning of the unknown.

And that kind of game and feeling remained between you during every date you had, playing with Graham Dunne became an addiction for you. That's what you wanted tonight, that energy that emanated between you with an exchange of glances or a touch.

…

“Can you stop moving for a second?” Eddie says rolling his eyes, nudging the man next to him with his elbow. “You are clearly invading my van space.”

“Eddie's right, no one can stand you moving anymore.” Karen says, her arms crossed as she tried to stop the younger Dunne from messing up her outfit. “Why are you so restless? I mean, not that I mind, but whatever.”

“Warren, do you know who will be at this party?” Graham speaks, his question is immediately directed to the driver of the van, ignoring the complaints about him.

“That's a very broad question dude, I know people from the label will be there, maybe people with associated projects there.” Rojas turns the next corner, his free hand adjusting his vest.

“Why the question?” Karen questions once more, her eyebrows raised trying to tease her friend. “Do you expect someone to be there, Peaches?”

“No no… just asking” His cheeks flushed as he tried to hide his other intentions for the blonde.

Karen already knew what went on between Graham and you, she was a very observant woman and she couldn't help noticing your closeness at all these events.The exchanges of looks between you, the unpretentious touches that triggered silly smiles and conversations full of interest and curiosity. She just didn't understand why you guys kept in touch only at times like this, why he never asked for your number or some other way to contact you after parties.

When The Six enters the party, they are invaded by that fraternization air mixed with the strong smell of cigarettes and drinks, their presence is notorious, after all, they were the most important figures in the music industry today. Warren doesn't take long to mingle in conversation, he soon finds himself among a group of people you weren't very familiar with, Eddie on the other hand immediately goes after a group of ladies and you can't help but roll your eyes at this attitude, Karen stands alone propped against a wall in the corner of the room, and Graham shamelessly watched you as he made his way to the food table.

You straighten your dress, like muscle memory getting your hands to your hair then unassumingly (or at least trying to be) you walk towards him, your gaze never meeting his, trying to appear uninterested. You pick up one of the empty plates that were stacked on the corner of the table, then scan the edible catalog in front of you for what to eat that night.

“Risotto sounds like a good option, doesn't it Miss L/N?” When his voice is heard by you, your body shakes, you missed that between you so much

“It does indeed, Mr Dunne.” Your voice sounds like a whisper amid other people's conversations. He smiles when your hands accidentally touch. “I saw that your brother and his wife did not come, did something happen?”

“I believe they'll arrive later, Julia was not feeling very well.” He explains while at one time or another he offers you some of the dishes served there.

“I am sad to hear this, best wishes for your niece” You smile, for the first time looking deep into his eyes feeling your heart speed up with this simple act.

“I don't believe it! Y/N?” A voice catches your attention from across the room, you turn, startled by the attention now focused on you.

Aaron Santana was one of the actors who made his most recent film with you, he played the role of your cellmate who later becomes one of the essential characters for the construction of yours. He comes towards you with open arms and a big smile, you hug him back surprised by his presence at the event.

“I didn't know you were coming, Aaron, how are you?” You say when he got rid of the hug, Graham is gradually excluded from the scenario moving away a little.

“I'm great, what about you? My god you look stunning…” He says holding one of your hands and spinning you around, you smile embarrassed, noticing Graham moving away from you little by little.

The younger Dunne was upset, he had been waiting for this moment for weeks, he was dying to spend time with you and this guy he didn't even know had ruined everything! He props his body against the corner of the secluded wall, watching you laugh and chat animatedly with the short-haired man, his arms crossed so tightly against his chest that they hurt his ribcage, but he doesn't care.

While his thoughts cursed the actor in different ways, Karen approached the guitarist, who was clearly too busy watching the scene in front of him to notice her there. She stays for a few minutes waiting for him to notice her presence, but when she sees that he isn't going to notice him so soon and snaps her fingers in front of his eyes.

“Is something bothering you? The blonde asks with a muffled laugh.

“No no, not at all.” It was funny how Graham didn't know how to pretend that the whole situation didn't bother him. “Why? Does it look like I'm bothered?”

“You're about to punch the guy in the face, yes it does.” The keyboardist adjusts her jacket, sipping some of the beer in her hands. “If you want to be with her, why don't you go there?”

“It's not that easy Karen, that's not how we work, okay?” The younger Dunne talks fast while not taking his eyes off you and the man.

“Dude, I don't understand you." she says laughing. “You've been dying all week to see her, and now you're just going to stand there and do nothing? Not that you have to hit the guy because he didn't do anything to you or her but, hey, she seems to like you too…"

“You think so?” His eyes shine with that said phrase by the blonde, trying to hold back a smile. “This guy basically kicked me out, who does he think he is?”

“For someone who wasn't pissed off, you're really caring, huh.” she teases and he grimaces at her. “Go there and talk to her, don't be a coward.”

“Coward? Me, a coward?” He sticks out his chest, snapping all his fingers. “I'll show you who's a coward…”

Graham makes his way back to you, losing his breath to notice the way the light made his hair prettier, he musters up all the courage in him to believe he would be an interesting point for you among all that was there. He takes one of the unopened drinks from the tables closest to him, approaching you he rests one of his hands on the back of your back catching your attention.

“Oh hey.” You smile widely, happy to see him again.

“I brought you a drink.” He extends it to you, who accepts it with joy. “Sorry to interrupt the conversation, but can I steal her from you for a moment?”

“Yeah man, sure.” He smiles politely at you both. “It was great to see you Y/N.”

You smile at him as he walks away from you, making his way to a table with some men unknown to you, you turn your entire body towards Graham, who looks at you with a very warm smile.

“What would you say to me if I supposedly offered you an escape from this boring little party?” He whispers in your ear, making you shiver.

“I'd like that very much.” You reply also in a whisper. Taking his hand and letting him lead you outside.

As Graham takes your hand in his, a thrill of excitement courses through you. He leads you through the crowded venue, making your way towards a less frequented area of the record company building. As you climb the stairs and reach the rooftop, you're immediately struck by the breathtaking view before you.

The city's skyline stretches out in front of you, adorned with a sea of twinkling lights that illuminate the night sky. The soft glow of the moon casts a magical aura over the scene, creating an ambiance of intimacy and serenity. The distant sound of music and laughter from the party below seems to fade away, leaving you and Graham in a world of your own.

Graham's eyes meet yours, and you can see a mix of nervousness and anticipation in his gaze. He smiles, a touch of vulnerability breaking through his confident demeanor. The way the moonlight catches his features only adds to his charm, making your heart flutter.

"It's beautiful up here," you say softly, still captivated by the mesmerizing panorama.

He nods, "I knew you'd appreciate it. I wanted to give us a moment away from the crowd, where we could talk without distractions."

As you both find a spot to sit, you feel a sense of ease settling in. The air is cool and refreshing, and the city lights create an enchanting atmosphere around you.

The conversation flows effortlessly as you share stories, aspirations, and dreams. Time seems to stand still as you delve deeper into each other's lives, forming a stronger connection with every word exchanged.

“He seems like a good guy.” He points out, you look at him confused, not understanding what he was talking about. “Your colleague downstairs”

“Oh you think so?” You smile, finding the whole situation very funny, since it was clear on the guitarist's face that he didn't like Aaron that much.

“Of course, he was just a little inconvenient... But it happens.” He shrugs, you arch your eyebrows at his statement. "You know? I don't mean to be annoying but he kinda interrupted us.”

“I don't think he did it on purpose.” You rest your head on his shoulder, and inconsistently he smiles.

“Well, whether it was on purpose or not, it doesn't matter because you're mine.” He kisses the top of your head tenderly. “All mine.”

You pull away a little, looking at him with a tiny smile, arching your eyebrows, surprised by his speech. “Oh am I? This one is new”

“But not in a possessive way, dammit, I sounded like an asshole, right?” He abruptly pulls away from you, searching your eyes for any sign of annoyance. “I was trying to be cute. Nevermind”

“It was cute, and you know what?” You move closer to him, holding her face in your hands, you whisper. “I like the idea of being yours.”

He smiles widely, "I'm going to kiss you now, okay?" you nod and he wastes no time in sealing your lips.

As Graham leans in to kiss you, the world around you fades into the background, and all that matters is the soft touch of his lips against yours. It's a gentle, tender kiss, filled with the sweetness of newfound affection and the excitement of possibilities yet to come.

As the kiss deepens, you can feel Graham's emotions pouring into the moment. His hands hold you close, and you find solace in his touch, as if you've found a home in his arms.

Breaking the kiss, you rest your forehead against his, both of you catching your breath. The city lights continue to shimmer below, reflecting the enchantment of this magical rooftop rendezvous.

"I didn't expect this tonight," you admit, your voice tinged with amazement.

"Neither did I," Graham replies, his eyes locked on yours. "But I couldn't let the opportunity slip away. I've wanted to spend more time with you, and tonight felt like the perfect chance."

You smile, feeling a warmth spreading through your heart. "I'm glad you took that chance."

Graham brushes a strand of hair away from your face, his touch tender and loving. "I really like you, Y/N. There's something about you that captivates me, and I can't ignore it."

"I feel the same way about you," you confess, your heart swelling with affection. "There's something special between us, and I want to explore it, even if it's just one step at a time."

He grins, his eyes sparkling with happiness. "One step at a time sounds perfect."

You lean in for another kiss, this time filled with a mix of excitement and the promise of something new and beautiful. The rooftop becomes a sanctuary of love and hope, and you both cherish the moment, knowing that this night will be etched in your memories forever.

As you sit together, talking and laughing, the night wears on, and the world below continues to bustle with life. But for you and Graham, time stands still, and you embrace the gift of this special connection, savoring each moment as it unfolds.

In the end, the night on the rooftop becomes a turning point in your relationship, marking the beginning of something magical and heartfelt. From this night onward, the bond between you and Graham deepens, and you both embark on a beautiful journey of love and discovery, one step at a time.

...

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