#god i love solo ivy stories so much

[ivy-diaries]

‎ ⁎ ‎ ‎ 𓍼 ‎ ‎ ๋ ‎ ◜ &.&. THE IVY INCIDENT ep 1. ◞ ‎ ... ‎ ‎

The intro plays, and Ivy appears on the screen smiling and leaning into the mic to speak. “Hello guys, welcome to my new podcast, 'The Ivy Incident!!’ This has been in the works ever since I stepped into the dive podcast studio when I came here to film the kpop daebak show with Eric so it's soo exciting to finally show you guys this project!” she laughs as the other staff there are heard clapping.

Laughing, she continues "so in this podcast, I invite my friends from the industry and we just you know, talk and share stories! It's a lot similar to Eric's but mine is more personal if you will because all these people are very very close to me and I've known them for a pretty long time! This episode is just gonna be me cuz this is like an introduction for all the first-time listeners who don't know who I am!" “So I heard Diane has some questions prepared for me, so let's get into it!” 

“let's start with the basics, yeah? Who is Ivy Jennifer James?” Diane asks her. 

“Oh we’re going back to the beginning okay! So as you’ve already mentioned, my name is ivy jennifer james. I was born in New Castle, Australia where I lived till I was five and then I moved to the US where again I lived for five years before moving to Korea when I was eleven. And in korea, i signed with bighit entertainment and when i was asked if i was ready to debut when i was 14 i think? I was like imma do it. So i debuted at 14 under both jype and bighit and the rest is history! And i'm here today hehe”

“What motivated you to pursue a career as a solo artist?”

“Hmm i think ever since i got into bighit, i've always wanted to be a soloist? I'm not really sure why but I always saw myself as a soloist for some reason. Even till now, if you ask my dad he’d say that i was born to do this” ivy laughs and continues “i think ever since i was little ive wanted to something in the field of music and performance”

“Was being a kpop idol your first choice?”

“It was actually! I mean keeping in mind that i started this since i was a literal child, it actually was my first choice. The kids at school did tease me for this but look at me now” ivy chuckles

“Who are your music inspirations?”

“That's a great question and I was literally talking to Jun about this this morning! I dont have one specific inspiration but i think i draw inspiration from any and all artists! I've been pretty inspired by the Beatles and Rolling Stone pretty recently and obviously, Taylor Swift is one of my biggest inspirations out there.” 

“Are you a sweet or savory type of person?”

“It honestly depends on my mood if i'm being honest” she laughs hard “now, im craving something savory! I'd kill for some fries right now oh man you’ve perked up my cravings now diane!!”

“What's the last song you listened to?”

Ivy laughs hard and almost tears up laughing “this is actually so funny oh my god the last song i listened to is actually a helium ingested cover of let me love you by justin bieber which yeonjun sung for me yesterday after a party we went to and let me tell you, it was soo funny!!”

“According to you, tell me 3 flaws and 3 qualities about yourself”

“Ooh, three qualities of mine would be, one, I think I'm kind I guess? Second, I'm somewhat responsible, and third and finally, I think I'm a human sized golden retriever because I'm very bubbly and very smiley smiley most of the time! And three flaws of mine are, one, i’m a big overthinker, i just rethink about every single choice or word of mine a little too much. Second, my moods are based on the weather…”

Ivy laughs at the look on Diane's face “yea.. My mood everyday kinda depends on how good the weather is.. That's why I'm not as fond of the rain because it makes me kind of depressed and I just shut myself off most of the time. Third, im a bit of a perfectionist so i expect any and all things to be a little too perfect.. If its not what i expect it to be, i just leave that and will not ever touch on it again and i know i should change these things and i am trying so.. yeah “

“okay, something similar but three things you like and three things you dislike”

 “I don't like these types of questions!!” she laughs “it makes me think too much to give an answer!! But anyways… hmm three things i like are, one, my husband” she giggles as a small blush is seen on her cheek “well it's true!! I wouldn't have married him if I didn't like him would I?��� she giggles “second, i really love what i do so, my career and third, my loved ones! I love my friends and family because they've stuck with me through thick and thin and I'm really grateful for that!” she smiles and gives the camera a little hand heart

“three things i hate are.. Hmm lets see… one, people who do not value privacy. I've said this multiple times and i'll say this again but I do love my fans.. I love them a lot and I wouldn't be here without them. But there are some people who claim that they are fans but do unhinged stuff to get close to me. And like that's why I've sued some people for not valuing my privacy. I got hate for it but honestly I don't care when the privacy and the lives of the people i love are at stake."

"Second, coming back to a slightly normal side, I absolutely hate the smell of fish. I don't know if it's cuz im vegetarian but I always throw up whenever I smell it and third, coming back to a more serious side, I hate the fact that most people on the internet feel like it's their right to comment on us as celebrities or idols or as performers. It's so irritating that they don't even feel sorry for what they say. They don't know how much we over think it and it slowly becomes an insecurity that takes years to wear off.”

“Okay this is your second to last question and the question is, For listeners who may not have heard your music before, can you recommend a few songs that best represent your sound and artistic vision?”

“That is a really good question, oh my god! So I think my discography is quite diverse and I have a lot of songs for different kinds of people who like different things. So the top three songs that i’d recommend to people are, one, vengeance as its called. There's no explanation for that song but I loved making it and loved singing it so that's the first song and second, I have a song called lovers in the night  that i co wrote with seori which I absolutely loved and we had a great time writing the song. And third I think is, my whole album called “for us.”  which i wrote with yeonjun and its songs dedicated for each other and hence called for us!”

“Okay… last question, can you give us any hints of the upcoming guests you have here?” Diane asks, smiling knowingly. Ivy giggles and wiggles her fingers across the camera

“Well I guess I can.. But most of my friends have not given me exact dates of their free schedule so even i’m not really sure on whos coming” she laughs at herself “so that's all i can tell you now because that's just all i know so” she just shrugs as she smiles.

“That's it for this episode and I hope you guys enjoyed this. I'm so excited for all the things we have in store for you guys and I hope you look forward to it!! So this has been ivy so far and thank you for listening to the ivy incident! Have a good day or good night bye!!”

⋆ ivy taglist ˒ @stealanity @alixnsuperstxr @riikiblr @skz-libby @escapetheash (lmk if u wanna be added or removed)

⋆ priya says ˒ so this is not proofread so read at ur own risk lol <33 but if you've come this far,, please reblog with the bow emoji (🎀) so I know that readers are interactive and writers get the credit they deserve!! so lmk who you want to see on ivys podcast and any feedback tbh!! Happy reading!!

#‎ ‎ ⋆⠀⠀ʬ.ʬ.⠀⠀٬⠀⠀(⠀⠀&.⠀⠀)⠀...⠀podc. #huh yunjin #kpop fluff #kpop imagines #kpop oc #kpop soloist #huh yunjin x reader #yunjin fluff #yunjin huh #jennifer huh #choi yeonjun x reader #huh yunjin x you #fictional idol oc #fictional idol community #fictional kpop oc #fictional idol group #fictional kpop community #kpopidol #kpop fanfic #kpop girls #kpop icons #kpop #kpop incorrect quotes #kpop moodboard #kpop layouts #kpop gg #kpop podcast

[palimpsessed]

Writerly Ephemera

I was tagged by @amywaterwings @mostlymaudlin @tea-brigade @effing-numpties @captain-aralias @bloodiedpixie . This is so cool, so thanks for sharing yours! ❤️

Per Amy: We add little bits of ourselves to our writing, scattering memories and places and phrases and things into our stories. The game is to find five examples of this, of YOU, in your writing and show everyone.

I don’t really feel like I put much of my own experiences into my fic, probably because I don’t feel like I have a lot of experiences to pull from. (That’s not me being self-deprecating; that’s me never going anywhere or doing anything.) So, let’s see what we come up with!

Going to tag here. I feel like I’ve gotten to this late so I’m not sure who has been tagged. Anyway. No pressure, loves. Just saying hi. 🥰 @theflyingpeach @bazzybelle @otherworldsivelivedin @unseelieseelie @wetheformidables @caitybug @nightimedreamersworld @foolofabookwyrm @stillmadaboutpetra

1. I have put the most of myself into A Man of Letters. I have my degree in English Lit and when I was in college, I was at the height of my Jane Austen obsession. So I sort of built my degree around the development of the English novel. My senior thesis was on a book called Evelina by Frances Burney, who was one of Austen’s greatest literary influences. Evelina is an epistolary novel—told entirely in letters. I love the epistolary form, for the same reason I love dialogue and texting fics. It’s such a fun narrative technique and can reveal so much about individual characters. It’s actually a bit like the way Rainbow Rowell uses multi POV in her books. Anyway, my love of the epistle was on full display in this fic, which is ofc told in letters. —Do I share a passage? That’s like...the whole fic 😅 So, idk. Here’s Simon being a disaster as he meditates on letter writing:

Dear Penny,

As I start this letter, I already know I'm not going to post it. I know I won't be able to bring myself to do it, because of what I have to say to you. I do feel bad. It's not that I don't want to tell you. And you know I'm so much better at writing things down than saying them out loud. It's only that I feel like this would all sound better coming from me in person. I just don't think I'll be able to make you understand in a letter. I'm still trying to understand myself. And writing all of this down helps me with that. Even if I'm only pretending to write to you, it makes me feel better, to think of you on the other end. I promise I really will tell you everything as soon as we're together again.

2. Also for A Man of Letters, my fascination with Regency fashions, in particular the dandy, was a major factor. I did an art book about this, comparing how fashion has changed over time, especially in regard to gender. (I also did an art book based on Evelina, since I’m on the subject. I minored in book art. 😁) I always fancied the look of a Regency dandy, so that was my gift to Baz.

Whoever has been working their magic on Salisbury should in fact be the person to whom I offer my eternal devotion. Alas, I am left to flounder under the burden of lusting after a man who is incapable of dressing himself.

The utter and unmitigated shame.

Salisbury wore a forest green wool frock coat that set off the golden highlights in his brown locks. This was accented with a green and aubergine striped silk waistcoat that was trimmed in white piping and felt much too daring a pattern for the man. (I don't care if he was a soldier; it takes a hardier man than him by half to choose a stripe like that.) His charcoal trousers were enticingly snug, but not so much to prove lethal. His cravat and points left much to be desired, though that likely reflected poorly on his ability to keep himself in order, rather than the ability of his valet. (Good God, maybe the man doesn't even have a valet!)

3. When it came to my countdown fic, To the Manor Borne, I had Shep make a reference to Cluedo, because Pitch Manor would be perfect for a real life game. Behind that, is the fact that my family played a lot of Clue and I watched the movie a whole bunch growing up, to the point where my sister and I used to quote it to each other. This was a way to pay homage to that. He also talks about playing the game Murder in the Dark, which was one I played at Halloween as a kid. One of my cousins was dressed as a ghoul with glow in the dark face paint and we were in my grandma’s creepy upstairs. Perfect vibes.

I’ve seen the kitchen and the dining room and the library and the study and the parlor. Walking through this house is like playing Clue. (They call it Cluedo on this side of the pond, because they like to be difficult.) (That was a whole thing. Do not get me started.)

I keep thinking Colonel Mustard’s going to pop up out of nowhere and brain me with a lead pipe.

And:

What kind of games do you play with magickal friends who don't have magic? Twister? Not with the wings and tail. Cards? Baz and Penny would cheat. Or accuse everyone else of cheating if they didn't win. Murder in the dark? With these people, in this house, I knew it would turn literal fast, and also it was like ten in the morning. Hide and seek? Simon and I would hide and everyone else would ditch. Snowball fight? World War III.

4. I’ve referenced Mozart in my fics a couple of times because when I was first getting into classical music, I was listening to a lot of Mozart. My sister had a CD of some of his early symphonies, and my local classical station does “Mozart in the Mornings” which happened to fit in the exact time slot between two morning classes I had my first year in college. I’d go sit in my car with a cup of tea, and just vibe with Mozart as my soundtrack. I’ve name dropped him in both A Man of Letters and To the Manor Borne. Also, Mozart wrote 12 variations on the melody shared by Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, which is a lovely tie in. (I also had the gang sing/cast The Holly and the Ivy, which is one of my favorite Christmas carols, and by strange coincidence was playing on the radio at the same time I wrote that scene. 🥰)

"It's a songbook," I tell him, like he can't figure that out for himself. "Did you know that Mozart wrote twelve different versions of the same song?"

He's laughing. "Mozart did not write Twinkle, twinkle, little star, Simon."

"You know what I mean."

"He composed twelve variations for solo piano on the French folk melody Ah! Vous dirai-je, maman."

"Sure. Anyway, this is for the violin. For you to play."

He's still laughing, and I'm trying to figure out what's so funny, but then he kisses me again, on the lips this time, so I figure maybe I'm still doing okay.

Only one more to go! What will it be? 👀

5. Therapy! Eheheh...😅 Look, it’s no secret the gang needs it. And tbh, so do I. Haven’t actually managed to get myself to go yet, and I think that’s where a lot of my “send them to therapy” happy endings come from. I did it in Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne. I started Chamber by Chamber with SnowBaz already in therapy, and then structured the whole thing around therapy that they give to each other and to themselves. It didn’t really fit in A Man of Letters, but if it had, I absolutely would have done it. I’ve only shared from two fics so far, and since it could kind of spoil the ending to Use Your Words (tho saying this may be spoiler anyway...), here are two snippets from It’s a Kind of Magic, Part I of Chamber by Chamber.

I've been working on articulating my needs. We both have. Ordinarily, I'd be afraid of pushing him away by making demands when he's on the verge of a spiral, but my therapist insists that I can't go on treating Simon with kid gloves. If I never ask him for anything, he'll think he doesn't have anything to give.

And

When I told that to my therapist, she said that I needed to talk it out of me and she'd help me find ways to work through it all. She said I needed to talk it out with Baz, too, so that he'd know how to help me when things got bad again—that was something else she said, that things would get bad again, and that I'd need to be prepared for that. That I couldn't expect things to be easy, and just go away.

6. BONUS! I think the biggest way I include bits of myself is in the AUs I’ve chosen to write. I have three I’m planning that say a lot about me, so I’m going to talk a bit about them here. There is ofc my Scooby Doo AU, inspired in large part by the fact that I watched it all the time growing up and also, my sister continues to be obsessed with it. When we were young, my parents were doing a lot of work on their house and we’d take family trips to the hardware store. My sister and I hated it, so we’d wait in the car with my mom and she would entertain us with “Scooby Doo stories”. Other AUs I’m planning? Troop Beverly Hills—please tell me someone else out there loved this movie the way I did when I was 5. It was very influential to baby me and I remember wishing for nothing more than being able to dress like Shelley Long. So, I’m going to let Baz do it, because I think he deserves it. 🥰 Lastly, tho it will probably be the first I write, is my Cupid and Psyche AU, from when I was heavy into mythology and religion. Since these are all forthcoming projects, I don’t really have a snippet. Instead, here’s Baz comparing Simon to Eros, which is what started my brain on that particular AU.

I am lost. I barely know anything about Salisbury, but I can't help being drawn in. At one time, I could have comforted myself that I was only so smitten with him because he looks like he was sculpted by Praxiteles. That excuse grows weaker with every encounter. He's the furthest thing from a lifeless tribute to beauty in marble as one can be. There is something deep and dark and feral inside of him and I want to claw it out. I want to see it, to let it free. To taste his wildness and his pain.

#tag game #writerly ephemera

[hollow-dweller]

trying to resist just asking about all of them but... your heart (like a bird in my teeth) and where the spirit meets the bone?

hello fren ♡ thanks for the ask!

'your heart (like a bird in my teeth)' is a plotted series of one shots exploring the development of a post-canon, enemies-to-something relationship between Raymond and Diarmuid, in an au where Raymond survives the beach and circumstances conspire for Raymond and Diarmuid to have to stick together for survival. i basically asked myself the question, "what would it take for Raymuid to actually happen in a semi-canonical, not OOC way?"

enemies to lovers is a trope i love but struggle with, because too often it entails a personality transplant on the part of one person or the other; either the "good" person suddenly goes completely dark or becomes a mini-version of the "bad" person, or the "bad" person gets woobified to make their crimes more palatable. or it's sexual tension first, relationship development probably never. which can be fun! but i wanted an honest exploration of what might draw people like Diarmuid and Raymond together, given everything that's happened between them. i wanted to explore what might change about their characters without discarding their characters.

so basically: a character study/what-if exercise that got way out of hand, as per my specialty. it also fits pretty neatly into my ever-expanding portfolio of distinctly not-a-fix-it fics i seem compelled to write about Diarmuid. also: a series of one-shots because i don't think about it sequentially and don't want to worry about putting in the connective tissue of an over-arching story.

It sits beneath Diarmuid’s breast, a sharp, staccato drum; a plea; a confession: God forgive me. God forgive me.

'where the spirit meets the bone' is an arranged marriage au inspired by "Ivy" by tswift. a vaguely medieval fantasy au wherein Prince Diarmuid is sent to marry Prince Raymond to forge an alliance between their kingdoms, and although he goes into it determined to be the best ruler he can, he soon realizes his husband is not altogether that interested in anything but advancing his own selfish agenda. as a result the two are constantly at odds, duking it out on the political stage, and aside from the small retinue of advisors from his home kingdom that accompanied Diarmuid, he has few allies.

one day, as he's out on a solo horseback ride, Diarmuid gets caught in a storm. he's deep in the woods and utterly alone, but luckily he comes across a small cottage with an adjacent barn, and resolves to ask the owner if he and his horse can wait out the storm in the barn. who should that owner be but none other than our favourite silent mountain man. cue a series of events that conspire to allow David and Diarmuid to grow closer, political and personal intrigue, identity porn shenanigans, and an eventual happily ever after.

"My, my, Prince Diarmuid," Raymond drawls from down the table. "So knowledgeable about the affairs of port and harbour, given that you come from such a remote, landlocked nation. Most impressive."

A familiar frission of tension creeps up Diarmuid's spine, and he replies before he can think better of it. "I hope it is not a surprise to you that we have books in landlocked nations, remote or not."

Underneath the table, Ciarán kicks him.

"My lord," Diarmuid tacks on, much too late and far too reluctantly to do any good. He thinks he can hear Ciarán sigh.

ask me about my endless list of wips

#i always ask ''who's going to take this fun trope way too seriously?'' and then don't wait for an answer #ask games

[manatehispants]

Entertain Me!

“Okay. You can stop now. Like right now.”

Harley kept her arms wrapped tightly around Floyd who despite his words was doing very little to actually make her stop. The wild card blonde acted like she didn’t hear a word the assassin said. She continued to rub her pale skinned face against his cheek like an affectionate cat who had just got done hitting the cat nip. Lawton rolled his eyes. He gave it two more minutes before he attempted another protest.

“I ain’t playing around, Harley. Let go or I’mma shot you right in the face. Last warning about this.”

This time he did try to push her away from him although there was no real force to it. He’d never say it out loud, but he liked the crazy jester. Somewhere along the line she had become meaningful to him. Harley knew it too. She knew Deadshot wasn’t going to ever say he liked her let alone cared for her, but his actions showed it in his own way. And this time it wasn’t all in her head either like it had been with Joker. Nope! This was real. Harley faked a pout, but finally she disentangle herself from the man. She leaned back on the hotel couch laying her head onto Deadshot’s shot and swinging her legs over the other side. Her platinum blonde pigtails dangled just off of Lawton’s lap. He let out a small grunt and wondered why she always did that with such force. He also wondered for the zillionth time why she stuck around him. Was she really so fucked up from her time with Joker that she thought Lawton was as good as it got? He glanced down at Harley, a cigarette dangling from his lips. His heart quickened when his eyes locked onto her’s. They were full of something he knew he didn’t deserve, love and adoration. Laughing Harley winked at him almost as if she knew what he was thinking. Maybe she did. Maybe she knew far more than Lawton credited her for.

“We should go see that Taylor Swift concert the one that is in town tomorrow! I have the perfect outfit! Oh! We could get matching outfits! It will be so fun! I’ll post all the pictures up on Instagram! Eat your heart out Bats and Robin, there’s a new dynamic duo in town!”

Where the Hell had this damn idea come from!? Lawton pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Nope! He didn’t even want to get into that aspect of it with her. It would only give him a headache.

“We ain’t doing that. I told you already I am in town for work. That’s it. And never ever compare us to Batman and his kid sidekick again. Better don’t pretend there is an us cause there ain’t.”

“But I am bored. Come on. Entertain me! Pretty, pretty, please? With a big fat cherry on top? Oh! And sprinkles. We can’t forget those. Great! Now I want ice cream.”

Pouting again Harley sat back up and leaned herself onto the assassin’s muscular body. She ran one hand down his chest her hand stopping to rest on his stomach. Floyd’s body reacted by tensing. It usually wasn’t good when someone touched him in such a vulnerable spot. As much as he wanted to trust Harley.....She was still crazy and crazy people do well, crazy things. He forced himself to relax by inhaling deeply onto his cigarette. He leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling as he let out a perfect ring of grey-blue smoke. He watched as it slowly rose up. One more was blown out before he bothered to answered her.

“Nobody asked you asked you to stalk me out and break into the hotel room. Which you still haven’t explained why you did.”

He should be pissed with her for that, but he wasn’t. He was actually sort of glad she was her or at least he was when she was making off the wall comments and crushing his balls with her head. Really who the Hell “rested” their head down with that much force? Harley’s darkly painted lips vibrated together as she waved off Lawton’s words.

“Stalking and breaking in are such strong words ta’ be throwin’ around! What I did is more like enthusiastic followin’ against ya wishes with a surprise stop by!”

Floyd gave Joker’s ex girlfriend a blank stare. Harley rolled her eyes and dramatically collapsed herself onto his shoulder. Locks of her shocking blond hair pouring onto him. Like he had done so many times today he again rolled his eyes at her giving off the impression of being put out by this. But both knew the truth, he loved it. He liked having someone in his life who was crazy enough to not only accept all parts of who he was, but to embrace them. Unlike others, Harley understood what the dangers of his work entailed. Sure she liked playing house, but she wasn’t going to force Deadshot to be someone he was not. Just as he would never change her into someone she wasn’t. He didn’t write her off as by product of Joker or see her as a tragic warning story about loving the wrong man. When he looked at Harley that’s what he was looking at.....Harley. There was so few in her life who did this. Sure, there was Ivy and Harley loved the woman to death. But with Ivy it wasn’t that simple. Ivy meant well, but she always wanted to fix Harley. She wanted to take Joker and all parts of him away from her. She didn’t understand that no matter the Clown Prince of Crime would forever be a part of Harley. To be with Ivy meant she would have to give up part of herself, and selfishly Harley wasn’t willing to do that. Maybe there would come a day when she could, but right now she couldn’t. She couldn’t be whatever it was others wanted her to be. She needed a chance to be her own person. Free of Joker, free of being named a sidekick. Ivy always said and did treat her as an equal. This was true, but with Ivy everyone still viewed Harley as a sidekick. They saw Ivy as her Joker replacement. The Harlequin of Love buried her face against Floyd’s shoulder. It was so very child like that for a moment Lawton thought of his daughter.

Outside Harley that was the only person who truly cared for him and who he too cared for. She was why he continued down this path. She was why he would never retire from this work. It was her face that haunted his mind any time he considered turning his gun his next target and onto himself. Lawton finished the last drag of his cancer causing stick and tossed the bud to the floor. Suddenly his heart ached for the one he could never be near and for the life he discovered he would never be able to have. Carefully as if she was made from glass Floyd touched the back Harley’s head. Smiling against his shoulder the wild card nuzzled his shoulder and then looked up at him. God damn her and the things she made him feel. He didn’t want to feel anything! Right now he only wanted the world to be shut out. Maybe he could get to help with that. He cupped Quinn’s face in the palm of one hand, and like clockwork she did as was expected. She understood what was happening. Floy was connecting with her the only way he knew how to be affectionate with another person through sex. She leaned her face into his hand nuzzling against. Her perfectly painted lips laid a soft kiss against his palm. Moving his hand so that part of his palm was now under the infamous bombshell’s chin, Lawton tilted her head up to him and leaned forward kissing her upon the lips. His free arm went around her slender frame pulling her near him. Instantly Harley had both her arms wrapped around him. She needed this as badly as he did. Her body melted against his and her lips felt perfectly at him on his. The taste of cheap beer and cigarettes danced onto her taste buds as she deepened their kiss, pushing him for more.

Almost roughly he tugged her closer now to him. His tongue dipping into her welcoming mouth. Exploring every inch of it as if it was there first time together. Her mouth was sweet. She tasted of cotton cotton candy and cherries.....A mask of innocence. It was as intoxicating as the liquor he had been drinking away all night. Her love is a crazy deadly one and in the end Lawton knows she’s going to fuck him over somehow. She always did, but she also always came back to him. Joker will come calling or someone more attractive will show themselves to her, but for moment in time she belongs to him. It’s thrilling and he’s always been a sucker for a head rush. The jester’s tongue dances into his mouth and soon their tongues entangled with another fighting for dominance. The soft moan that escaped her was quickly making Floyd realize his pants were far too tightly. He pulls his mouth away off her’s. Quinn is staring at him her sapphire eyes clouded with lust. Harley runs her black painted nails down his back and Lawton feels his desire for her.....For what comes next growing. A shiver of pain mixed with pleasure goes down his entire spine.

“Ya gunna be my Prince Charming, sweep me off my feet and take me ta’ bed now or not?”

He shouldn’t do it. Harley shouldn’t be encouraged. He’s going to get burned by her. It’s only a matter time. But fuck it, you’re only going to live once, right? Or that’s what he keeps hearing. He might as well get his rocks off while he still can. He swoops the ex gymnast expert up off the couch and into his arms. Instantly her arms around looped around his neck. Her lips are crashing into his in what will surely be a bruising kiss for the both of them. Not that either care. The small sting of it only adds to the pleasure they are both becoming overwhelmed with as Lawton carries Gotham’s infamous wild card to bed. Tomorrow he has a job that needs to be done. Tomorrow he will be back to being the professional he prides himself on when it comes to work. Tomorrow Harley will be off on yet another on of her crazy adventures proving herself to the word, but mostly proving to herself she can be a solo act. But that’s all stuff of the future. For now the two are more than a little content for what the presence holds for them between the sheets. They will make the most of the night and for awhile neither will worry about that aching loneliness that eats away at them.

#Harley Quinn x Deadshot #Harley x Deadshot #Harley Quinn x Floyd Lawton #Ao3 #Fanfic #DC Comics #Suicide Squad Comics #Harley Quinn #Deadshot #Hotel

[mss3ng]

I was tagged by @aurltas to share ten things about myself! Thanks for the tag and also sorry for taking like a day or two to actually write this stuff down XD

1.       I enjoy doing fiber arts and related crafts. I learned spinning and needle felting at a music camp a while back and I’ve always adored Tamora Pierce’s circle of magic books. I’m progressively getting better at spinning but once I have yarn I have literally nothing to do with it because I don’t enjoy knitting or crocheting. I would love to get into embroidery as well I have so many hobbies. Also, I’m not sure it counts as fiber arts but I’ve been getting into Chinese decorative knot tying and that’s also fun but makes my hands hurt.

2.       I’ve never thought of myself as a super athletic jock person but I’ve usually enjoyed sports I’ve tried my hand at. I did basketball for a bit and then danced for 8 years (I did one year of competitions and realized that was not for me, god I was so lonely and played so much Pokémon in hotel rooms in the middle of nowhere). Later on I also dabbled in kendo and other forms of sword fighting (but not fencing. Longswords are much more fun).

3.       The Gris OST has gotten me through intense studying ever since I discovered it and it’s never failed to keep me focused on whatever I’m working on, I have no idea why but that soundtrack is beautiful and must be listened to in order. But also, if I’m not in the mood for it, I’ll also swap it out with the Sayonara Wild Hearts or the Persona 5 Royal OSTs for variation’s sake. If you see me smiling at music, it’s most likely video game soundtracks (this cover of the staff roll from Link’s Awakening) or the xiaohei OST (here)

4.       For a few years in college I played clarinet in a video game orchestra where we covered a bunch of my favorite tracks. The ensemble pieces were a blast to play (chamber music sucked though because I hate playing alone on my instrument) and my favorite would either be Simple and Clean because that counter melody slaps, or Ballad of the Goddess where the main violin solo was replaced with an erhu—okay that one was beautiful and I’m so pissed that the orchestra dissolved before we could perform it.

5.       One of my more embarrassing screw ups at work was full on yanking a connector off the logic board of a MacBook pro, right when my supervisor walked in with ice cream for me. Yes, I am a certified apple repair technician. Luckily I didn’t get in trouble because these things happen. And then a few days later I found out another technician accidentally yanked off a different part of the laptop that wasn’t supposed to come off. (I swear we’re good at our jobs now, that was our first semester on the job and told to try to do things by ourselves).

6.       Birds are my favorite animals, I find them extremely fascinating and love all their strange quirks and traits. I can’t name a favorite bird because I have multiple depending on the category (Although I do have a soft spot for the American Robin) but fun fact! There is a bird called the Ash-Breasted Tit Tyrant and I love that this name exists in the world.

7.       I’ve managed to keep a semi-consistent sleep schedule throughout college and have never pulled an all-nighter before (and hope I never will). The closest I’ve gotten was going to bed at 3am to finish a short story for a fantasy class and I was a complete wreck the next day. Unfortunately, my consistent sleep schedule and early waking hours make me the perfect candidate for opening shifts at whatever job I hold. In tech, it’s not as bad since a 7:30 start time is manageable but for coffee shop opens at 6:15 it sucks to wake up an hour beforehand.

8.       Even though I love and adore houseplants, I struggle with keeping new ones alive. In my apartment I have a dwarf umbrella plant, some sort of ivy, and a monstera. They’re all in varying phases of poor health but I’m trying. I also refuse to get succulents because I like leaf leaves. The longest plants I’ve had are two spider plants propagated from my 10th grade English teacher’s plant and those things are hard to kill. I also have a money tree that is getting waaaaaaay too big to keep lugging around from home to campus and back again.

9.       I’ve only written and uploaded one (1) fanfic in my life! While I enjoy reading fanfics, I’ve never been interested in writing them, mostly because I don’t have as much fun working with pre-existing characters over original ones. I like playing in my own sandbox! But something I’ll do from time to time is sticking my own original characters from their original worlds into a crossover with media I like and watching the interactions explode.

10.       Speaking of original works, I’m a writing major (linguistics minor and I could probably cram in a Chinese minor if that was actually a thing at this college)! I write a lot! My main project is Chinese inspired fantasy with fiber arts, familial betrayal, and messing with the red string of fate trope in an unabashed aroace way. Another one that I’m in the character creation and world building process mode of is a viet-inspired fantasy project that’s got timeframe-based magic and a kingdom hearts style existential crisis. Also magic school because why not.

Wow I actually had a bunch to talk about. I’m only going to tag @liuet and there is 100% no pressure to actually do it XD. Anyone else that sees this is free to do it and tag me as well! 

#personal #tag game #also @aurltas also love looking at fandom stuff through an academic lense #taking poetics/ lit philosophy courses really blew my brain wide open #...which is also why giving a straight black/white answer on anything media or fandom related from me is difficult

[incoherentbabblings]

An Endless Hope (3/9)

After a horrendous blizzard falls over Gotham, Tim undergoes a sharp change in character before disappearing. Upon discovering what has become of him, Stephanie sets off on a solo journey in a magic realm to bring him home, meeting some faces which seems awfully familiar along the way.

Archive Of Our Own Link Click Click!

On her way down to the botanical gardens, Stephanie’s mother rang.

Fumbling trying to hold onto her box of roses, Stephanie answered the phone. Her feet crunched loudly as she crossed the snow-covered grass. She flapped her fingers free from the mitten cover so the fingerless gloves could allow her touchscreen to work. She had worn Tim’s gloves since he had vanished, feeling like punishing herself for how she had failed him.

“Hi mom!”

Ooft, her fake cheeriness hurt even her own ears.

“Steph, are you okay? I hadn’t heard from you all week!”

Stephanie nearly dropped the plants in her fright. “Oh God. Mom, I’m so sorry. I’m safe. Promise. Are you okay?”

“Living out the hospital currently, thank you for asking.”

Shame flooded through Stephanie. “I’m sorry mom.”

Crystal sighed, deflating. “I guess I didn’t call either. It’s just been non-stop here. So many people needing help from the streets.”

“I can imagine. We couldn’t do anything the other night. It was too cold even for us!”

“You’re all good then?”

You meaning Tim, but Crystal would never say Tim’s name until held at gunpoint probably. He was just that boy, or him. It was sort of funny that – not only had Tim and Stephanie’s outlook’s on life undergone a flip – so had their relationships with their partner’s parent. Bruce liked Steph after a few years of tribulations (or so she thought), but the same time had not been kind to Crystal’s estimations of Tim.

Certainly, telling Crystal that Tim had kicked Stephanie the other night and run away would not have added positive points.

Stephanie swallowed dryly, not sure if she should lie for a moment, but ultimately sided on the side of fibbing. Her mother had enough to worry about at the hospital. Stephanie entering despair and seeking help from a misanthropic villain would not help Crystal do her job.

Yes, lying was the better option at the moment.

“We’re both good. We’ve got a lot of time to kill, we’re out at the botanical gardens today.”

Crystal sucked in air between her teeth. “Hmm. Okay, but Stephanie, try to remember to give me a call once a week. Just to stop my hair from completely falling out from stress.”

“Yes mommy.”

“Be good.”

And then the call ended.

Stephanie loomed outside of the greenhouse. It was covered in a thick layer of snow, thick enough to discourage entry. But there was a huge amount of warmth showing up inside, almost like an igloo, which was how she guessed this was where Ivy was. Stephanie looked for a way in, then sighed. Knocking on the door would probably be the best bet.

Ivy was at best indifferent to humans and at worst homicidal. She tended to lie low however when natural events knocked everyone back. Nothing levels the playing field of humanity like nature. Still, Stephanie was taking a gamble. She knew this. She was banking on Ivy having information Steph only had circumstantial reasons to think she held.

But Stephanie was desperate. And when she was desperate, her brain tended to throw things like caution and logic to the wind. Act on your gut, it’ll get you there in the end.

Except that one time when it really didn’t.

As far as Stephanie could tell, she had few other options, and she wanted to give Bruce some kind of information outside of a missing boy and car. If it meant risking her life and giving up her flowers, so be it.

Stephanie knocked, then opened the glass door, and slid inside.

It was swelteringly warm in the greenhouse, filled to the brim with plants and flowers which did not belong in the United States, let alone New Jersey. Stephanie stumbled into the fishpond, disturbing small lily pads.

“Excuse me? Poison Ivy?” She gulped, fear apparent on her features, as she tried to locate the green lady amongst the foliage. “Doctor Isley?”

“The only people who still call me doctor are those mocking me.”

Pamela’s voice came from behind, making Stephanie jump in the frigid water.

“I’m not mocking. I promise. I… I just…”

Ivy looked down at the roses in Stephanie’s arms and frowned. Steph held them out for her to take. “I wanted to give you these. My boyfriend and I were trying to grow them, but he went missing during the storm. I’m trying to look for him, but I need someone to look after these until I get back.”

Ivy raised her eyebrows, unimpressed. “And I was your first choice to nanny? Hilarious. Get out. One warning.”

“No please. I’m not mocking I swear.” Stephanie brazenly trudged forward deeper into the water. Ivy looked bemused, but Stephanie knew her interest in this strange young woman wouldn’t last too long. “I want you to look after them, but I also wondered if you knew anything about this storm. I would give you these to look after in exchange for information and to let me look for my boyfriend.”

Pamela looked at the flowers, then at Stephanie.

“Your lover isn’t the only one missing in a snowstorm.”

“I don’t think this is just a snowstorm. Batman and Robin have gone chasing a lead, but I think they’re looking in the wrong place. I don’t think it’s an easy fix.”

“No. It’s not.” And finally she took the flowers from Stephanie, gently stroking the petals. “What happened to the red? They haven’t settled.”

Stephanie gulped and told a half lie. “An accident. They fell. They had their own box, but it broke and I tried to… I tried.”

Ivy snorted. “Not good enough. I’ll take them off you. You can leave now.”

Stephanie slowly got out of the water. “But you said this isn’t just any old snowstorm. Do you know who caused it? Or what?”

Pamela turned around, clambering onto a vine which lifted her high above Stephanie.

“Nothing natural,” She said dryly, chuckling to herself. “Why do you care so much?”

“If I can know what caused it, I can fix it.”

Pamela rolled her eyes. “And bring your beau home.”

“Yes.” Stephanie uttered, glaring at Ivy.

“Listen little girl. All I know is, the cause is not of this earth. Not to be found in a machine. Not to be found in men. Something else.”

Stephanie followed Pamela waltzing around two levels up, craning her neck as she moved around on the floor.

“Like magic? Because I know someone who knows something about magic. This can’t be good for your plants, right? Don’t you want the cold to leave?”

Pamela flicked her wrists and the doors flew open, tree branches holding them to allow the frigid air in.

“I want you to leave Miss Brown. Good luck getting the storm to end, and good luck finding that sweet boy of yours. Maybe when Mr Drake-Wayne returns, I will trust you with these roses again.”

Stephanie tried not to appear shocked that Ivy knew her and Tim from sight and inference alone, but she was nakedly frantic.

“But I—”

“It’s magic. Magic not from this world. That’s all I can tell. It will pass. Let it do so on its own you stubborn girl.”

“No. I need to know Tim is safe.”

Ivy dropped down once more and got uncomfortably close. She raised a green hand and cradled Stephanie’s cheek. Stephanie, for her part, stared right back, unafraid.

“I don’t enjoy humans and their little love stories. Who cares if this boy comes back to you? There’s always another.”

“…Not abandoning him. Not giving up. It’s a thing for me.”

“Hmm.” And in an unintentionally mocking manner, she curled her fingers into Stephanie’s hair, loose strands reminding Ivy of vines and Steph of how much more comfortable the motion was when it was Tim holding onto her. “It’s all a bit pathetic honestly.”

Stephanie swallowed bile, resisting the urge to spit on Poison Ivy to get her to back off.

“You know more than you’re telling me.” Stephanie pushed.

It seemed Ivy had had enough of Steph and took a step back.

“Leave.”

Stephanie noticed too late that a vine had curled its way around her ankle. Looking down, her stomach dropped, but before she could say anything, the vine tightened, flinging her back and out with a squeal. She landed on a large mound of snow, unharmed, but stuck with her legs flailing around. She heard the distinct solid thud of the greenhouse doors slamming shut.

“Oh, come on!” Stephanie wiggled, trying to loosen up the snow around her torso.

What a waste of time. Of course, this storm wasn’t natural. They’d known that from the start. And now she was stuck in snow, and she had given up her roses. Her beautiful roses that she had invested far too much emotional value in. Why couldn’t she do one thing right? Every solution she tried made things worse. Like a curse. Hold onto hope, because she certainly had nothing else going for her.

Swinging her ankles, she screamed, which soon morphed into a cry. Snow crumpled and went in her mouth, making her wail.

Bad day, bad week, bad life…

Someone seemed to take pity on her, and grabbed her black legging covered ankles, dragging her out from her snowy prison. Snow went up her jacket and top, making her squeal in discomfort.

To her surprise, the person who tugged her out had bright blue skin.

“Klarion!” She exclaimed.

“Oh good! It is you. I followed the smell of Christmas and desperation.”

Stephanie sat up, shaking her coat free of snow, despair momentarily forgotten.

She had helped Klarion the witch boy once or twice, never of her own free will, but still. He was harmless enough, to her at least. He smiled widely at her, but in a way which was not reassuring. Her own smile turned brittle, then cracked and fell into misery. She was still reeling from the useless encounter with Ivy. It had maybe narrowed down where to hunt akin to reducing the search from a needle in a haystack to a grain of sand in a rice bag.

Disoriented and directionless were two words that came to mind. She tried very hard to not let her frustration seep into her acknowledgement of Klarion (who looked entirely too happy to see her), but still, her tone had some bite to it.

“What is it? Does Teekl need a new girlfriend?”

“Oh no,” He said, and sure enough, his ginger cat familiar hopped up around his shoulders, acting like an oversized scarf. “I have come to help you this time. I understand you are a friend of a friend of mine. I have many of these here nowadays.”

The last thing Stephanie wanted was a distraction, however well meaning, from trying to melt the snow and find Tim. She held up an apologetic hand.

“I’m sorry Klarion, but you’ve caught me at a really bad time and –”

Klarion, in his silly little pilgrim outfit and pointy black hair, bit his index finger. “Oh, I know! I know how you are feeling. You saw me when Teekl ran away… oh I was crestfallen. And before you so did Timothy!”

Stephanie, still sat on the snow, gaped. “You know Tim?”

Klarion seemed shocked she did not know. “You mean he never mentioned me? Why, we saved the world together, and Teekl, who is my world, a year or two ago. At least I think it was… time is funny here.”

Hope sprung anew in Stephanie’s chest and she rose, holding onto Klarion’s forearms.

“Then you know he’s missing?”

“Exactly! I am here to help you bring him back home and…brr… end this winter.”

“Oh! Klarion! You’re a godsend!” She hugged him tight. “What do we need to do?”

“Come, come! We must go to the river. Perhaps call your family. This trip may take a while.”

 *****

 “Oh my God you’re blue.” Cassandra exclaimed as Stephanie and Klarion arrived. Duke looked equally dumbfounded. The wind was icy, whipping around the pebbly ground underneath Kane bridge. It pierced Stephanie to her core, but Klarion seemed – as always – unaffected by his surroundings. Sighing, Stephanie waved vaguely between a politely smiling Klarion and the two batfamily members.

“Cassandra, Duke, this is Klarion. Klarion, this is Cassandra and Duke. They’re Tim’s siblings and friends of mine. Klarion is a witch who’s a… friend… of mine and Tim’s.”

“Hi…” Duke waved. Klarion bowed, and Cassandra made a woompf noise. She did not have a good history with magicians and took a cautious step back and behind Duke. Teekl appeared on top of Stephanie’s car, then leapt into Duke’s arms. He caught the cat, exclaiming, whilst Cassandra flinched away, not enjoying the vibes the witch and his familiar were giving off. It was off kilter and feral. Unmanageable and unpredictable.

“Right.” Klarion said, peering across the river with a dramatic step forward, looking like a Smurf pilgrim pioneer. “Are you ready to go?”

“You haven’t told me anything. Where are we going?”

“Not we. Just you.”

“Alone?”

Cassandra pushed Duke forward, calling over the wind, “What’s going on?”

Klarion ignored her, speaking only to Stephanie. “Hmm? Oh, you don’t know about the storm and its creator?”

“Only that it’s not of this Earth.”

“Indeed!” Klarion sounded entirely too cheerful. “You have been to my realm Stephanie, but there are many others to explore. The lady who caused this storm usually stays within her own, but sometimes she gets bored, and likes to go exploring.”

Stephanie slowly put the pieces together. “So… a magic… lady did this?”

“Magick. But yes. She likes to pick up people sometimes. I try to keep quiet track of my friends, and I noticed Tim had disappeared a few days ago. That coupled with this nasty weather of hers, well, one does not have to be a detective to put the pieces together!” Klarion nudged Stephanie in the gut, trying to be playful, but she only looked sick at his words.

“How do I bring him home? Will she hurt him?”

“Yes. She doesn’t mean to of course, but she likes humans so much. They freeze thanks to her though. She is sad for a little while, then decides to try again. Something we do not want for Tim.”

“No.” Stephanie breathed.

Klarion’s look became sympathetic. “He was very cruel before he left wasn’t he?”

Stephanie said nothing, and Klarion tutted. “It’s her way. She is not fond of a human’s warmth, not realising it is what makes them such.”

Cassandra meanwhile stomped her foot. “Who is ‘she’?”

“A Snow Queen!” Klarion gestured around him. “In case that was not obvious from the weather. Fey. Magick.”

“Fairy-tale.” Duke finished, blinking in realisation. “It’s just like a fairy-tale.”

“Is it?” Klarion shrugged. “I don’t know what that is. Regardless, Stephanie, you should be the one to melt his heart and bring him home. Since you’re the one who lost him.”

She tried not to let his matter of fact manner of speaking sting. “Why just me? Why can’t I go get my Batgirl suit? Why can’t you come with me? Or Cass and Duke?”

“Wait, he knows your secret ID?” Duke muttered, three steps behind Steph and Klarion’s conversation.

“Oh dear, Stephanie. You are going to be sick of this reason soon I am sure.”

She laughed brokenly. “It’s magic reasons huh?”

“Magick. And yes. Remember, the rules are very different in different realms. And names matter. Timothy Jackson Drake has been taken from Stephanie Brown. Stephanie Brown must be the one to bring Timothy Jackson Drake back. Anyone else entering will be kicked out. Their purpose does not fit with the rules. One human over there is bad enough… two!  Oh dear. Three? Four? It will end terribly!” After his worrisome but somehow cheery doom of a lecture he held out his hand for Steph to take. “Here, I will share with you what I use to keep an eye on you and Tim. It will feel like an instinct to a human, pulling you in the right direction.”

Stephanie took off her (Tim’s) gloves, then held Klarion’s right hand. It was painfully warm. Soon enough her heart jerked, and she stumbled forward, almost careening onto the frozen river. Cassandra caught her and pulled her back.

“Oh!” Stephanie huffed, her heart legitimately aching from the separation.

“You will get used to it. Follow that pull, and you will find Tim. Remember, magick is not just something you do; it is something to hear and feel. Remember that and you will find our friend. I know you will succeed and find him before his heart freezes for good.”

Klarion smiled in that weird manner of his. Supposedly reassuring and bright but to the three humans standing by the river, it was unnerving and dissonant with his message.

Duke shook his head. “All well and good for Tim, but what about the storm? It’s been a week of this, how much longer? Is Stephanie going to fight a witch with her bare fists too?”

“Oh my God.” Stephanie groaned, crumpling in on herself. Cassandra remained curled around her, protecting her from the wind.

Klarion looked up, shielding his eyes against the glare of the white clouds reflecting off the white ground. Stephanie herself felt like she had been squinting for her entire life, like her eyes would never be fully open again.

“The storm will dissipate soon enough. She got what she came for, and this leakage will fade the further into her realm she returns. This is a problem which will fix itself. Tim however, will need a bit of help.”

“But why Tim?” Stephanie asked, desperation for him blending with relief for Gotham. “Of all the people on this planet, why target him?”

“That I do not know.” Klarion clapped his hands. “Come now, the more time we waste the less time you have to catch up.”

“But Bruce and Damian aren’t here.” Cassandra urged. “We should wait. There may be another way… so that Stephanie doesn’t have to go alone?”

At that moment the wind picked up, screaming it was so fierce, pushing the group away from the frozen water’s edge. She didn’t understand why, but it made Stephanie’s hackles rise. It felt like a challenge, or a warning. Don’t follow.

She was a squishy human. Klarion was seemingly willing to send her alone into a realm where that was not the norm. Whatever she would be hunting, it was strong enough to bring a city to a standstill by just leaking across the border. She didn’t know where she was going, or for how long. She didn’t know if she would make it to Tim, or what to do when she found him. How would she bring him home? What if she got there (wherever there was) and it was too late? What if she failed?

But what was the alternative? If she didn’t go, she failed Tim. If she went, there was still a chance she would fail Tim.

Just a chance.

The wind died down, and Stephanie got up, displacing Cassandra. Everyone watched as she went back to her little purple car and pulled out her satchel.

“I’ll go.”

“Stephanie.” Cassandra’s voice was unabashedly worried, and Duke did not look any happier with her decision. Stephanie ignored them.

She tossed nearly everything out of her bag – her purse, her phone, her keys, her umbrella – leaving behind a bottle of water, Bruce’s scarf that she had held onto (just in case she found Tim…just in case he was cold) and a bag of dried apple slices.

It was anything but a suitable bag of provisions for a journey which had no destination or time stamp, but Stephanie’s stubbornness had clicked on, and she had made up her mind.

“You can tell Bruce I have gone to bring Tim home. I may be a while. But he has to trust me to do it. I can do it. I will do it. You believe in me Klarion?”

“Oh yes. Absolutely.”

“That’s good enough for me.” She looked to Duke and Cass, who had both paled. “You can cope a while without me, yeah?”

Klarion had moved down to the river, and held out his hand once more.

“Don’t joke! Stephanie this is insane!” Duke exclaimed. Stephanie leapt down to join Klarion on the ice. Duke and Cassandra went to follow, but with a wave of Klarion’s hand, they were shoved back several feet. The two rushed back to the edge but were somehow unable to make the final step onto the frozen river.

“You should trust your friends!” Klarion called out.

Stephanie looked up at the two on the riverbank and smiled reassuringly. “Cover for me with Bruce, yeah? I’m fixing a mistake. For honest for real.” Stephanie took Klarion’s hand. “How do I get into that world?”

“I cannot go with you, but I have opened the way. Cross the Gotham river, and do not drown.”

Stephanie looked at their feet on the ice. “It’s frozen right now. Really frozen.”

“Not for much longer. The storm is moving north very fast. Spring is coming.”

Stephanie pulled out Bruce’s scarf and wrapped it around her neck. Then she adjusted Tim’s gloves, recovering her fingertips with the mittens. She breathed into the wool, feeling it warm her neck and cheeks. She muttered to herself a small pep talk.

“Okay. Cross the river. Follow my heart. Melt Tim’s heart and bring him home from a human obsessed ice witch. Easy-peasy. It’s like a fairy-tale. Just like a fairy-tale.”

“I wish I knew what that was.” Klarion gently shoved her away from him. “Remember Stephanie. Different realm, different rules. It will turn your human head inside out if you are not alert. It has happened to Tim. Do not make the same mistake.”

The river was covered in several inches of snow, but even so, Stephanie felt unstable, like she was standing directly on black ice. Slowly she turned, took three steps, then whipped her head back around.

“Wait my mom!”

But Cassandra, Duke and Klarion were gone. Instead it was an endless frozen lake, with the only land viewable across the bay as she slowly returned to facing forward. The sky was piercing pale blue, and already she could feel the temperature rising.

“Oh. Oh my God. Steph, what have you gone and signed up for now?”

She then took a breath, and began to cross the frozen river, heading straight for land.

Back on regular Earth, Duke dropped Teekl when Stephanie vanished. Klarion waved goodbye to the open air, then turned around to see Cassandra and Duke glaring at him.

“She will be fine.” He said, for once reading the atmosphere.

“You’ve sent her to die! Both her and Tim!” Cassandra yelled. Klarion looked mortified.

“I absolutely have not! What a lack of faith you have in your friend.”

“It’s not a lack of faith knowing someone going on a magical journey with no destination with nothing but the clothes on their back is suicidal.” Duke bit out. “I hope Batman wrings your neck.”

“Is that something he does?”

“Sometimes.”

“Oh dear.” And then Klarion stepped back off the river. “Nevermind. I’ll head off now, nothing more to be done here. Stephanie will succeed. It may take a month or two, but be patient.”

“Two months?”

Everyone turned to see a very angry Batman looming from above under the bridge, Robin perched a couple of beams down. Both looked like they were genuinely considering strangling Klarion. Teekl hissed at the perceived threat. Klarion simply shrugged with his entire body.

“Or a year. Just be patient! Trust in her!” With a little uncomfortable laugh, Klarion portaled himself away, his voice echoing through the open air.

Cassandra and Duke gulped as Bruce landed in front of them.

“Care to explain how Tim and Stephanie went missing?”

“It…It was…” It was Duke’s turn to take a step behind Cassandra, who grew very puffy.

“It was magic! Or something stupid like it. Can’t you call for help?”

Damian looked out at the river. Everyone could hear new cracking noises, and the ice began to crumple under the weight of the thick snow it held up. It was still bitterly cold, but Klarion was right. The worst of the storm had passed. Gotham would recover.

Tim and Stephanie were another matter.

#dc #timsteph #tim drake #stephanie brown #my fic tag

[lokislytherin]

For the writing positivity ask meme: 3, 10, 15, 21, 30!

OOH A RESPONSE! thank you for the ask @khunfounded​!

prepare for a lot of rambling

3. What is your favorite line/paragraph that you’ve written?

hmmm i’ve written a lot of things before this is hard lmao i’ll just pick my top two!

from tower of god, ships in the night ch14: this is one of the most poetic things i’ve written, ever (thank taylor swift’s ‘cardigan’ for the inspiration with the line “you drew stars around my scars // and now i’m bleeding” because i love folklore and taylor swift is megabrain)

“The wounds she'd dug into his mind may never truly heal, but they are merely memories of pain now, pale scars painted over with gold ink, tattooed with stars and guitars and whatever the night had to give.”

from bts, burn the stage ch1: circus poetics, of course.  after reading the first (and only) chapter i wanna continue this again sdfjkldkls why do i keep starting fics but never finishing them? i should actually Commit

“without a sound, it creeps into cities in their darkest hours, bringing with it shadows of caravans dimly lit by rattling lanterns and flickering light bulbs.  if you take a closer look, you can see the silhouette of an elephant in its trailer, illuminated by the faintest shine of moonlight.  this time, the circus is in busan.”

10. What’s the best comment on a fic you’ve ever gotten?

time to scroll through my 1000+ comments lmao

okay after a while of scrolling i have no idea what the best comment is but ngl any comment from @resident-normal-person​ is bound to get me wheezing at some point because her comments are so long and detailed and it’s like watching reaction vids but in words

but ngl this comment from one of the fics i’ve kinda left behind (one chapter is up and i said I’M GONNA CONTINUE THIS IT’S GONNA BE SO LONG I HAVE SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT PLANNED FOR JIN) cracks me up tho: 

“Please continue? I'm actually interested”

15. Tell me about a time when you got super inspired.

laughs like i haven’t listened to taylor swift’s ‘willow’ five times today

so i get inspired by songs really easily? especially by taylor swift songs, because each song has a unique narrative and taylor is such an amazing songwriter she’s literally so talented i don’t know if i want to dissect her lyrics or her brain

yesterday her new album evermore came out and i promised my swiftie friend we’d listen and scream about it together, and we did, and before i knew it-

OK FIC PLANNING LET'S GO (this is me trying~) - ILLICIT AFFAIRS / CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS / CLOSURE?: FT KHUN EDUAN, JAHAD AND MAMA AGNIS, SITNVERSE - WILLOW: CRYSTAL SNOW PREQUEL, VLENE - NO BODY NO CRIME: I DON'T KNOW YET BUT PROBABLY KHUNBAM CRIMEBUSTERS AU - EVERMORE: PROBABLY RELATED TO 'EXILE' FIC holy crap the bridge i'm shivering in my seat (it's not the cold) - TOLERATE IT: I DON'T KNOW AS OF RIGHT NOW BUT I WILL, MAYBE JALENE UNREQUITED LOVE FROM JAHAD POV? - ivy: maybe a continuation of willow? but as a plant witch!arlene au, which might tie in to cruel summer? sfdlkasdfjfd - gold rush: part of khunbam celebs au? - marjorie: maybe part of 'the curious courtship ritual of a black turtle' as a tribute to arlene? marjorie was taylor's opera singer grandma - happiness: bam character study with links to rachel? or should i use clean for that - coney island: the lyrics are tragic, so maybe arlene's thoughts in her last moments in sitnverse? i need the angst practise - cowboy like me": city boy eduan gets stranded in a car trip and has to stay the night with country cowboy v? either way it does not end in true love forever or whatever - long story short: bam moving on from rachel and finding love with khun? or khun moving on from maria and finding bam? sfdkljsdfkjlfds i don't knowww so many ideasssss - dorothea: interesting song but i gotta admit i have no idea what to do with this one

kaboom

you can visibly see where i started chilling out lmao but me and my friend spent a little over an hour screaming about evermore, so far my favorite tracks are ‘no body no crime’ (true crime inspired! i want to dissect the narrative and write a fic, maybe start that fugou keiji x khunbam au) and ‘champagne problems’ (eduan-style ‘illicit affairs’ vibes, you’ll get it if you’re caught up to ships in the night)

i did pretty much the same thing for folklore too? like i linked every single song in the album to a oneshot idea and now my swiftie friend is screaming at me to hurry up and actually write the saga because she wants to read my fics

21. Tell me about a time when you impressed yourself.

me in may: *plans out the entire plot of ships in the night*

me in december, actually following the plot: *surprised pikachu* i- i can do that? i did that? just over 100k words? oh my gods this is what dedication actually is

(my inner kim namjoon, waving a razor: NOW STUDY OR I’LL SHAVE YOUR EYEBROWS)

okay but here’s another anecdote: this is me trying to analyze one of my fics, i’m connecting bts’s hyung line (kim seokjin, min yoongi, jung hoseok (hobi), kim namjoon) to space metaphors, i’m screaming at my army friend over whatsapp in the middle of the night because i was kinda high on sleep deprivation

this is like from some time early last year

hC: YOONGI IS THE NIGHT AND HOBI IS THE SUN SO HOBI BRINGS LIGHT TO YOONGI'S WORLD AND LETS HIM SEE THE BETTER PARTS OF HIMSELF AND MAKES HIS LIFE BETTER THEREFORE SOPE IS TECHNICALLY THE BEST SHIP

AND JIN IS THE STARS BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO MAKE YOONGI SEE THE TRUTH, AND HIS MAGIC IS ALSO THE COLOR OF STARS AND WHEN HE DOES MAGIC HIS EYES GLOW SILVER AND I SHOULD FIND A PIC OF PLATINUM BLOND JIN BUT IDK IF IT WOULD LOOK GOOD

and then me a few days after that

actually no jin is the moon because he brings light to others but also because he helps them but he doesn't help himself so he's lonely that way like the moon

so namjoon could be the stars because they're not on the same level but he's still with jin

and the moon only glows because it reflects the light of the stars around it which suggests that the only reason why jin is still around is because of his love for namjoon and joon's love for him

me more than a year later, after the release of bts’s second most recent album map of the soul:7, which includes kim seokjin’s solo track ‘moon’

HOLY SHÏT DID I PREDICT MOON

LIKE JIN’S MOON MOON

i literally just remembered that just now? like i was looking for the namjinsope space analysis and then i saw jin = moon and was like JIN = MOON? I SAID THAT? ON 4/7/19? i even predicted the song meaning?

also go to 3:22 to see why jin owns my heart he deserves all the love in the world

30. Do you know how proud I am of you?

*tears up* you- you are? thank you so much

[shemakesmusic-uk]

After releasing her film Black Is King as a Disney+ exclusive a few weeks ago, Beyoncé has shared the visual 'Brown Skin Girl' on YouTube. Featuring SAINt JHN, WizKid, and daughter Blue Ivy, the clip features appearances by former bandmate Kelly Rowland, Noami Campell, Lupita Nyong’o, and more. The video coincided with a special message the star shared with Good Morning America. "It was so important to me in 'Brown Skin Girl' that we represented all different shades of brown," Beyoncé said of the video, crediting director Jenn Nkiru with the concept. "It was important that we are all in this together and we're all celebrating each other." [via The FADER]

Eivør releases a new single and video, ‘Let It Come’, the latest lifted from her forthcoming album Segl. The transportive new clip - filmed in Iceland - is a prequel to the video for previous single release ‘Sleep On It’, which Eivør released last month. Both videos are directed by Einar Egils and feature actor Tómas Lemarquis (Blade Runner 2049, X-Men: Apocalypse). Speaking about ‘Let It Come’, Eivør says; "It’s one of those songs that took many shapes before it reached its final destination and I guess the opening line pretty much explains it all: “Sometimes I overthink the most simple things”. This song is a follow up to my previous single 'Sleep On It' - whilst that was about insomnia and making difficult choices, 'Let It Come' is about coming out at the other end of this struggle, embracing the uncertainties you might find yourself in and finding the courage to believe that something good will come your way." Of the interplay between the two music videos he has created for Eivør, director Einar Eglis adds; "'Let It Come' is a prequel to the end of the world that was portrayed in the ‘Sleep On It’ video. Eivør has been stuck in a loop of uncertainty for years, until she sees a vision that will end everything as we know it, and she is the key towards redemption. She must face these facts and embrace the golden idol she is to become."

The gentle, hypnotic sway of 'god's chariots' is central to MaryLou Mayniel's first full-length project Galore. Her catalogue of experimental electronica is impressive whichever way you look at it. Creating everything from video game soundtracks to an EP sampling the likes of Miley Cyrus and Carly Rae Jepsen to vast instrumental odysseys and empowering pop anthems, Mayniel can turn her hand to almost anything. 'god's chariots' is at the helm of the singer-songwriter's latest drop of new music. “It’s a fantasy, a place you’re in to escape reality, but it’s also about being so lonely that you kind of lose your mind,” explains Manyiel. A fragment of her forthcoming debut full-length project 'god's chariots' is just one piece of the ever-expanding story which Oklou shares on Galore. With additional tracks 'nightmare' and 'rosebud', also out n ow, we get to piece more of Galore's narrative of emotional rebirth together. Already an illuminating experience with its first six songs out in the world, soon you'll be able to witness Manyiel's first masterpiece in all its glory when the rest of the project is released next month. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Madeline Kenney has shared the visual for her Sucker's Lunch album track 'Cut the Real'. 'Cut the Real' is one of the most lyrically confrontational tracks on Kenney's new album Sucker's Lunch. Kenney has unveiled the accompanying self-directed visual filmed in Oakland that sees her dressed in a Rococo style suit and makeup, giving a heartfelt performance of the song's fierce lyrics. Madeline Kenney: "I wrote 'Cut the Real' when I was feeling particularly insane / depressed /"out of my mind" as I was starting a new relationship. I really struggle with self confidence and found myself spiraling out into deep holes of self-loathing -- even though I knew what was going on I couldn't stop that cycle. The concept was inspired by the aesthetic choices in recent Aldous Harding videos as well as old Annie Lennox videos. I wanted to put on a gender-neutral Rococo outfit and just really allow myself to ham it up, and occupy that same spinning-out headspace as I was in while writing the song." [via Line Of Best Fit]

Four years after she released her solo debut Slugger, Speedy Ortiz leader Sadie Dupuis is getting ready to release Haunted Painting, the second album released under her Sad13 alias. The album comes out next month, and  now we get another new song, and it’s got a pretty great music video attached. The new Sad13 track is called 'Hysterical,' and it’s a zippy synthpop track with layered lyrics: “I wanna see you disappear and laugh like I don’t need permission.” In a press release, Dupuis says that the song is about “unfunny comedians [who] love to argue that ‘PC culture’ destroys comedy.” Dupuis plays almost all the instruments herself. The video, directed by Kate Banford and Jamie Loftus, features Dupuis alongside comedy-world mainstays like Loftus, Mitra Jouhari, and Demi Adejuyigbe. Like the new horror movie Host, the whole thing takes place on a computer screen, and it’s all about what happens when a ghost shows up in a Zoom party and kills everyone. [via Stereogum]

When Cross Record’s Emily Cross and Dan Duszynski teamed up with Shearwater’s Jonathan Meiburg to form Loma, it seemed like it might be one-off endeavor. But then last month we got news that they’d be following their 2017 debut with a new album, Don’t Shy Away. Along with the announcement, they shared a stunning new track called 'Ocotillo'. Today, they’re back with another one.  The latest preview of Don’t Shy Away arrives in the form of 'Half Silences,' which the band shared an earlier iteration of last year. 'Half Silences' was the first song we recorded for Don’t Shy Away, and we kept tinkering with it after we soft-released an early version last year,” Meiburg explained in a statement. “When you start making a record, you don’t know which songs will make the cut — but this one always seemed to belong, and we wanted to give the final mix (and its DIY video) a proper debut. People have asked if the fireworks are CGI. They aren’t.” 'Ocotillo' was an almost foreboding song, cresting into horn arrangements that teetered on the brink of chaos. In comparison, 'Half Silences' is a dreamier and hazier composition. But in either form, Loma are making some gorgeous, otherworldly music. [via Stereogum]

Back in June, the Bristol songwriter Fenne Lily announced her sophomore album, BREACH. So far we’ve heard advance singles 'Alapathy' and 'Berlin,' and today she’s back with another one. Lily’s latest is called 'Solipsism.' Here’s what she had to say about it: "A lot of situations make me uncomfortable — some parties, most dates, every time I’m stoned in the supermarket. 'Solipsism' is a song about being comfortable with being uncomfortable and the freedom that comes with that. If you feel weird for long enough it becomes normal, and feeling anything is better than feeling nothing. I wanted this video to be a reflection of the scary thought that I’ll have to live with myself forever. It’s surreal to realize you’ll never live apart from someone you sometimes hate. Dad, if you’re reading this you killed it as shopper number 2." The song comes with a video directed by Tom Clover with the non-profit Film Co. “I asked Fenne what products she wanted to be and then worked backwards from there with the illustrators,” Clover explained. “Most of the references came from Asian Supermarket packaging — they are way more interesting. The most important thing was making sure that it reflected upon Fenne’s personality — there’s a bunch of details you might miss on the first watch!” [via Stereogum]

About two weeks ago Oceanator shared 'Heartbeat,' the third and final single from their upcoming full length debut, Things I Never Said and now it has a video. The highly anticipated album via Plastic Miracles captures Elise Okusami’s songwriting at it’s best, a strong effort that sits between pop, rock, fuzzy punk, and alternative radio gold. The video, directed by David Combs and Ben Epstein, is every bit as delightful as the song itself, opening with the same magnetic energy as we find Okusami seemingly lost and looking for companionship. She finds it eventually in the form of herself, quite literally, as she joins herself at a bus stop, and then again in a field, with ten of more copies, al rocking out, all enjoying each other’s company. There’s a brilliant barbershop quartet moment, cool animation, and enough smiles to keep you going throughout your day. Speaking about the song, Okusami shared: “This song is loosely about having a crush, and both the grounding feeling and the anxiety that feeling brings. We recorded it all together like a live performance, and then I went back and added the lead guitars and the vocals. Guitar and vocals by me, bass Eva Lawitts (they), drums Aaron Silberstein (he)." [via Post Trash]

Ontario-based project Falcon Jane – the moniker for primary songwriter of the group, Sara May – have released their soaring new single, ‘The Other Moon’ via Pittsburgh-based label, Darling Recordings – you can watch the new video that comes co-directed by May and Dominique van Olm above. ‘The Other Moon’, which is lifted from a larger body of material set to come from Sara May further down the line, finds the artist exploring deeply sentimental and personal themes, from death to memory, and the miscommunication that can take place between generations. May has a penchant for unpacking these emotions in succinct and comprehensible forms, making something so personal and idiosyncratic to her feel so familiar to the rest of us. Much of May’s forthcoming work found its source of inspiration in early 2019 when her songwriting synched up with a string of deaths that occurred in her immediate family; ‘The Other Moon’ pays a touching testament to her Nonna with May lacing the track’s stark honesty with swooning guitar and her enchanting vocal palette, a sound that co-director, van Olm visualized as May’s DIY journey through space. Speaking about the new track, May says: “‘The Other Moon’ is a letter and tribute to my late Nonna whose death inspired me to start recording this album. Despite being from two completely different generations, and speaking two different languages, my Nonna and I had a very special connection. We understood each other and cared about each other, even if we couldn’t find the words to express it. My Nonna would always cheekily joke about her own death, and through her broken English, she claimed that when she died she’d be going to “The Other Moon”. This song is not a story about a happy-go-lucky relationship between grandmother and granddaughter,” May continues. “It accurately depicts the contrasting dynamic of a very loving friendship mixed with a lifelong trauma-ridden miscommunication. The big hole in my heart, the black cloud over our love. This song feels like the message I always wanted to send to her; pushing through the darkness to find the deep love we shared and continue to share now.”

Baby Queen has released her third track 'Medicine' with a fab new video. The follow-up to ‘Buzzkill', it arrives ahead of her debut EP later this year. "It's about a tangle of mental health and navigating your way through this world,” Bella says of the song, “whilst being so unhappy and equally disillusioned with the cyber landscape that we are forced to live inside, and the different ways people might numb themselves, or try to find a place where they can exist in amongst all of this fucking chaos." [via Dork]

Oklahoma-born, LA-based electro-pop songstress Mothica has released her debut album Blue Hour, accompanied by the official music video for her single 'VICES.' The album was written over the course of a few months, starting with one of the worst moments of Mothica’s life: a psych ward stay for self-harm and ends with a song about never wanting to feel the “crash” of drugs ever again. “Following that incident, I sought therapy and wrote lyrics detailing my journey into sobriety. I am now 13 months sober at the time of writing this, and have never been in a better place emotionally.” With her new album Blue Hour, she chronicles her deep struggle with addiction + mental health and the process of getting sober. “Someone told me that every artist has their ‘getting sober album’ eventually,” she explains. “I find it ironic that my debut album is my ‘getting sober’ album, because I think that’s indicative of how quickly I was forced to grow up."

FKA twigs has always made incredible music videos, and 'sad day' ranks right up there with her best. For this clip, twigs worked with the director Hiro Murai, one of the best music-video directors to emerge in the last decade. Murai has mostly moved on from music videos in recent years. Instead, he’s directed episodes of Atlanta and Barry, two of the best shows on TV, as well as Donald Glover’s Amazon short film Guava Island and the forthcoming apocalyptic miniseries Station Eleven. The 'sad day' video is Murai’s first clip since he made the instantly iconic 'This Is America' with Donald Glover in 2018. I don’t want to give away much of the 'sad day' video, which starts out in a dingy takeout spot and transforms into a surreal dream-logic head trip. But you should know that twigs only made this video after spending three years studying martial arts at the Shaolin Wushu Center, and you can tell. A dancer named Teake, who twigs discovered via social media, co-stars. [via Stereogum]

The latest of Silly Boy Blue's ongoing build is 'Hi, It's Me Again,' a song she describes as the "too long text I didn't want to send at 3 AM to my ex." Like the rumination behind a loaded, emotional message to a former lover, she adds that it took months to assemble the words in her head but only one night to write out the lyrics. "I needed to write a song about this, because it's a very special place between the hate and the void during a breakup." With an almost lullaby melody, the spacey tune slowly builds into the ultimate warning: "You'll be the one I always haunt," Silly Boy Blue sings, her voice beautifully layered and atmospheric. All her thoughts throughout the song are interlaced with the relatable, somewhat insecure backpedal, "I'm sorry," capturing the headspace "just before resilience," as she describes. It's "when you start to understand the breakup, but you still have so many questions popping in your head." In the 'Hi, It's Me Again' video, Silly Boy Blue says she "needed to show the different parts" of her identity. "Some of them are masculine, some of them are feminine, some of them seem confident, some seem shy, some seem to suffocate, some stand proudly." Much like the nuanced feelings during a breakup, she expresses without binaries — and especially through fashion, as she opens the clip in only an oversized men's button-down. Scenes in the new visual roll by like memories or fleeting emotions, ranging from subdued drama to full on meltdowns. At one point, she's shown with a plastic bag pulled over her head to capture the most extreme feelings of dread, juxtaposed against a more innocent shot of Silly Boy Blue in all white with two lone tear drops fixated on her cheek. The artist also loaded in "important" references to her favorite movies, from the Titanic's necklace to The Rocky Horror Picture Show's big mouth. [via PAPER]

Dream Nails have released a video for their new single, 'This Is The Summer'. It's a song from their new Tarek Musa of Spring King-produced, self-titled record out now via Alcopop!. “[It's] a song about how our climate is breaking down irreversibly,” says singer Janey Starling. “Colonial capitalism, waged by UK governments and corporations for centuries, has ravaged our earth. “We need to be urgently fighting for migrant rights so the UK welcomes climate refugees displaced by countries hit by extreme weather. We must demand transparency from oil companies who relentlessly put profit before people, even as the world burns." Guitarist Anya Pearson adds: “We wrote ‘This Is The Summer’ in the heatwave of 2018, recorded it in another heatwave in 2019 and now we are releasing it in yet another heatwave! Our video for the track shows how the current pandemic, white supremacy and climate change are not separate issues but interlinked. The song is about the brazen complacency of getting drunk and catching a tan in the park while the world burns.” [via Dork]

BBC Sound Of 2020 winner Celeste has shared her new single 'Little Runaway'. Out now, the single is about a crisis of faith, and features a towering vocal from the London artist. A song about succumbing to the depths before emerging renewed, 'Little Runaway' began as a jazz sample, before taking on a life of its own. Celeste says... “‘Little Runaway’ is a song about losing your faith, even if just momentarily, and seeking answers from spirits and ghosts as nothing seems to make sense on this planet. My favourite line in the song is ‘good news I could use some’ – I believe everyone has a guardian angel, a protector, and this is me talking to mine.” “The verses actually started as this saxophone sample we were playing around with and eventually it transformed into the melody. I always play the sax back in my head even though it’s not in the song.” 'Little Runaway' features an innovative music video, steered by Celeste’s frequent collaborator Sophie Jones. [via Clash]

Anna Sofia released a brand new music video for her song 'Don’t Play Pretend'. 'Don’t Play Pretend' is from her latest EP Broken Perfection. Over a million streams into her career, Anna Sofia sings this song about her own life. She might not be perfect. She might make mistakes. All that said, at least she doesn’t pretend to be something she’s not. Sofia said she doesn’t have a message. “It’s just real life,” she said. “One day, I hope to fill stadiums all over the world. I want to have fans everywhere and have some way of helping them or guiding them through my music. My confidence comes from being myself and connecting with people.” [via The 360 Mag]

Last year, the K-pop group BLACKPINK made big moves in America with their Kill This Love EP, becoming the highest-charting women-led Korean act on both the Billboard 200 and the Hot 100 (with its title track). They also played Coachella. Earlier this year, they had a guest feature on Lady Gaga’s Chromatica with ‘Sour Candy,’ a single that matched their previous chart record at #33. They’re releasing a new album in a couple months, which was led off by ‘How You Like That’ in June. Now, they’re putting out another song from it, a collaboration with Selena Gomez called ‘Ice Cream.’ The food angle of the track is appropriate for Gomez, who has most recently been in the headlines for her new HBO Max cooking show. [via Stereogum]

Tel-Aviv based artist Noga Erez shares the next in a series of game-changing singles leading into her mysterious second album (details yet to be announced). 'You So Done' and its striking accompanying video are out now via City Slang. Following the sparkling sass of 'VIEWS' and the irresistibly upbeat lockdown anthem 'NO news on TV', Noga Erez and her collaborative partner Ori Rousso's latest offering 'You So Done' has been highly anticipated online since appearing on NBC's Good Girls earlier this year. It sees Erez shift from outward looking political themes to personal soul-searching, opening up for a stirring track about rejection, toxic and emotionally violent relationships, and ones own inner violence. Along with the track she has shared a moving statement, saying: "At some point, exactly one year ago, I started flashing back to one of the darkest times in my life. I was young, incredibly confused and lonely... There was a moment during this period where I was actually so weak, insecure and in need of love that I was not able to step out of what I know now to be an emotionally abusive relationship." She concludes: "It really, truly means the world to me to give this song to you. I hope this story can help some of you to realise that you are not alone. And I really do hope to make it clear that even the darkest places are not impossible to free yourself from. They are eventually an opportunity to learn, grow and to become a stronger person." Erez has created a reputation for the captivating videos that accompany her songs, and this latest video sees her step it up a level yet again. Her third collaboration with Tel Aviv-based director Indy Hait sees Erez as a puppet in a dystopian future, being violently flung to-and-fro by an unknown captor. "The video for 'You So Done' was a big risk taker for me" she comments. "Usually, I have an idea or I work with a director on an idea together. Since this was my third video with Indy Hait, I decided to let him do his thing. He offered up an idea that included a robot and I immediately hated it. I was just not able to imagine how it wouldn't come off as a science fiction video and felt it wasn't my style. But after talking and tearing the idea apart, I realised that this is a truly meaningful character. The robot in this video is actually not the violent character.  Its job was to portray the act of violence through transferring the moves from an unseen character and helping them come alive visually. The video uses muscle memory as the 'engine' to that violent dance act, and muscle memory is something that fascinates me. Eventually this video is far from being science fiction, it is my most personal video to date."

#videos of the week #beyonce #eivor #oklou #madeline kenney #sad13 #dream nails #loma #fenne lily #celeste #oceanator #hannah's little sister #noga erez #anna sofia #falcon jane #baby queen #mothica #fka twigs #blackpink #selena gomez #silly boy blue

[roryslade]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭. 𝟐 // self-para

𝐖𝐇𝐎: Rory Slade (mentions of Julien, Ivy, Bella, Ruby, Kyler)

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: Thursday, August 6th. Evening.

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄: Finn Hudson Auditorium

𝐓𝐋;𝐃𝐑: On opening night, Miss Rory Slade gives a nice little charged performance of The Winner Takes It All after catching Julien and Ivy in the act.

Opening night. It was supposed to be the best night of her life. She was the lead in the school musical and what was more important than that? Nothing. She had spent the last few hours getting ready in her Donna costume, making sure she looked the part, and chatted with others as they waited to go on but after her boyfriend mysteriously disappeared after brushing off the fact that he was going to the bathroom, she decided to look for him since they only had about 20 minutes before showtime, but once she went looking for him, she only found him in the choir room kissing Ivy St. James. 

She had freaked out, naturally, but she couldn’t bring herself to actually argue. She should have known this would happen. She was ridiculous for believing that he wouldn’t, but she had really put all of her faith into believing he had changed and maybe she was too caught up in the idea of falling in love and being in some musical  theatre power couple to care about the signs; his closeness with Ivy, him disappearing multiple times at parties, the way he’d act nervous whenever Ivy was mentioned. It didn’t take a genius to catch on and people had warned although it was mainly through an anonymous inbox but still, maybe if she had listened she wouldn’t be staring daggers into Julien Schuester’s eyes five minutes before open curtain in the McKinley hallways.

Once she got back to the auditorium, she darted to the hair and makeup station and fixed her mascara. “You can do this,” she whispered to herself. She wasn’t nervous about playing Donna. In fact, she thought she could play Donna in here sleep by this point, but she was scared that she’d break down into tears when she was sharing the stage with Ivy or Julien and that she’d ruin everything for everyone else. She needed to be strong. For everyone. She was good at doing that, holding her head high and pretending like she was okay when deep down she just wanted to be treated like every other 16 year old girl; she just wanted to be treated with love. Was that such a crazy thing to ask for?

After what felt like forever, she was finally on stage with Bella and Ruby and the next hour seemed to pass in a blur. Truly, Rory thought she had blacked out for most of the musical but she felt like she came back to life when it was time for Slipping Through My Fingers. It was hard to get through the song since she had to pretend to like Ivy and act like she hadn’t watched Ivy shove her tongue down her boyfriend’s throat in the choir room. A few tears had slipped out but Rory played it off as if it was in character. You know, playing it off as a mother who’s daughter is about to get married. 

Following along was The Winner Takes It All. Admittedly Rory’s new favorite song to perform because it fit her voice perfectly but now it was going to hit a little harder than the rest of the music with the lyrics that seemed to reflect everything she had witnessed thirty minutes before the show started. The scene changed and she was on stage with Kyler Lynn acting out their very best, although Rory’s was a little less act and a bit more like projecting what she was currently going through.

“I don’t wanna talk,” the blonde started off singing followed by a light shrug. Rory really was in her element when she was performing, she felt like she belonged there and by this point in the show, not even Ivy St. James rushing on stage telling her she was pitchy would ruin the current high she was on. She was sad and hurt, but this is what she loved and she’d put 110% in it every single time. “The winner takes it all,” she sang softly, using the stage to walk around and visually show the audience that Donna didn’t want to deal with Sam at the moment. Similar to how she didn’t want to talk about what happened with Julien. Talking would just make it all real and she’d be the one coming out looking like the idiot that believed him.

“I was in your arms, thinking I belonged there,” she looked at Kyler, dramatically wrapping one arm around herself. This was not the song to be singing for what she was dealing with. It made it easier that she was looking at Kyler who she considered a friends because if she was actually looking at Julien or singing to him, she’d be a blubbering mess. It did make sense to be with Julien. So much sense that it hurt to even think about. Maybe it made sense for Ivy and Julien to be together but Julien was too soft, too kind to be with Ivy but now, maybe it is who he deserved because he showed his true colors tonight which were anything but kind. 

“The gods may throw a dice, their minds as cold as ice,” she sang out as she threw her arm out to indicate a ‘throwing’ motion. As she continued to sing, she walked around Kyler in a 360 motion, returning to her original spot. “Tell me does she kiss like I used to kiss you?” That was the line that got her. More importantly, it was a line that got her as she glanced offstage for a brief moment, locking eyes with Julien who was peeking behind a curtain. Her eyes began to well and even though she was caught off guard for a second, she continued singing, allowing her emotions to slightly take over. It felt like she was directly singing this to Julien, even if it wasn’t literally.

“The judges will decide,” she belted out as she reflected on everything that led her to this moment. In a way, she understood Ivy for a moment. She had been the other woman at some point. She let Kaden use her over and over again despite being in a relationship of his own and he kept telling her that he was going to break up with his girlfriend but that day never came and Rory was the one left with a broken heart and now here she was again with a broken heart, but she was the girlfriend this time. A couple of tear began to fall but she made sure to keep herself in check so there weren’t intense waterworks, just a normal amount so everything would appear to be in character.

“I apologize if it makes you feel bad,“ even though Rory didn’t have a full story, she still felt awful that Julien had cheated on her with Ivy. She could handle if it had been anyone else, but Rory had always felt like the second choice to Ivy. When it came to boys, solos, popularity, the blue eyed girl just had the upper hand at all times and when Rory began dating Julien she felt like she had finally one upped Ivy, but she hadn’t and that in itself hurt her. She always thought of herself as better than Ivy in every aspect but somehow Ivy still got everything she wanted and that somehow included Rory’s own boyfriend.

Once the song was finished, she quickly walked off stage to collect herself before she started bawling. At least she just had to get through three more songs and the finale and then she’d be done for the night and she could just order in Breadstix and sulk.

#// pls forgive the writing bc my brain was fried #self para: the winner takes it all pt. 2

[ehstarwar]

a poor prisoner in his twisted gyves (3/8)

He would be just gentle enough that nothing hurt, but firm enough that she felt it. Every touch, every stroke; he would make her feel it all, make her delirious with it.

Yes, letting herself fantasize about Ben is all too easy.

-

Rey tries not to think about what's making her so frustrated and irritable. Ben knows exactly why. Also, Leia meddles.

-

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4K

Read on AO3

Notes: our space babies are back at it again with their BIE. (Big Idiot Energy). enjoy

 (´∀｀)

Chapter 3: this tiger-footed rage

-

It’s as easy as breathing, Rey thinks. Imagining him, large and imposing, all hard plains and thick muscle, nudged between her thighs. All around her. Consuming her. She imagine what his hands would feel like. Would the trace her, lightly and teasingly, or ding into her skin and mar her for all the world to see. And his legs; strong enough to hold her up, to carry her around without so much as a strain. 

He would be just gentle enough that nothing hurt, but firm enough that she felt it. Every touch, every stroke; he would make her feel it all, make her delirious with it. 

Yes, letting herself fantasize about Ben is all too easy. Made even easier by her fingers currently pushing into her sopping wet cunt. 

It should be embarrassing, how many times over the last few days that Rey has gotten off to imagining Ben. She’d had to stop herself from going into the employee bathroom and shoving a hand between her thighs the day he scented her; the smell of an omega that just came would outweigh the scent of an alpha and she’d be in an even worse situation. Rey had dutifully waited until after work, after the inspection, after she took two trains back home, before collapsing in a heap on her bed and getting herself off to Bens’ scent within two minutes.

And that was only the start of the evening. 

Rey had refused to shower that night, trying to keep a hold of every molecule of scent Ben had given her, but come morning, she had to wash herself. She totally didn’t cry in the shower, rubbing one out to the last remanence of Ben washing down her drain. The wetness coming down her face was only from the shower. 

She though that when his scent was no longer clinging to her person that she may finally get some relief from the near constant arousal, but it only made it worse. Now, the comforting scent of a big, virile alpha wasn’t consuming her, it made her desperate. 

Which is the state Rey was in right now; hand pushing in and out of her, wanting to find a release that is never quite satisfying enough. 

Twenty minutes of trying to get herself off before the evening was proving frustrating instead of relieving, causing Rey to scream into her pillow before removing her hand from her cunt and getting into the shower. She definitely did not sneak a smell at her overalls from the other day, just to see if there was anything left. 

Rose was hurrying around the apartment when Rey walked out of the bathroom, still unsatisfied and a little more than irritable. 

“What the hell, Rose?” Nearly every kitchen cabinet was opened, and a small pile of different kitchen items were being shoved into reusable plastic bags. 

“Finn wants to bake a pie for tonight, but like, has nothing that he needs if he wants to make a pie,” Rose explains, stuffing multiple pans that were decidedly unnecessary to make a pie. 

“Is he making a pie for a small third world county?” Rey huffs. Rose stills, a box of graham crackers falling to the counter below her.

“Are you feeling okay?” Rose asks, giving Rey a once-over.

“Yes… why?”

“You sounded a little upset that we’re making pie. Pie, Rey. You once said you’d give your left tit just to eat pie every day.”

Rey bristles, feeling much more defensive than a statement like this should make her.

“Its just… You’re taking quite a bit of stuff from our kitchen to make this. What if we don’t get it all back?” This only makes Roses’ gaze harden.

“It’s for Finn. We basically share everything with him. And I know for a fact that you two shared a toothbrush for four months in college because neither of you could be bothered to buy a new one. What’s going on?”

Rey is still wrapped up in a towel, dripping onto the linoleum floor. Her fist is clenched, holding her towel so tight to her person that she knows there will be red marks on her skin. She tries to figure out why she’s feeling this way, why she cares at all. Rey doesn’t get territorial like this, ever, especially with Finn. She’s just as curious as Rose is to figure out why she’s acting like this, but is too proud to concede. 

“Nothing is going on. I don’t care if you take that stuff to Finn’s, just… make sure we get it back. That’s the only strainer that I’ve ever liked and I just want to make sure its near if I need it. Rose has her eyes narrowed at Rey, and looks like she wants to prod further, but Rey doesn’t give her the opportunity.

“I’ll see you at Luke’s!” She shouts over her shoulder on her way back to her room.

-

The commute to Luke’s isn’t too bad. Rey has to take two trains and walk four blocks to get there, but his part of town isn’t too bad. Rey’s side is a different story, but that’s a worry for later tonight. Her irritability hasn’t completely worn off when she leaves her apartment, but she figures some fresh air will do her good. 

Or, it would be good if she could actually enjoy it. Problem is, she’s itchy. 

Not in the ‘I’m covered in poison ivy’ or ‘I have a bad case of the chicken pox’ way, but in the ‘my skin feels too tight and I’m ready to peel it off my body’ kind of way. It doesn’t help that her glands are throbbing. Any brush of material over them sends a shiver down her spine, but it’s too cold and impolite to go out in public naked with pulsing, red glands. 

It’s the suppressants working their way out of her system, probably. In her limited research on what to expect when detoxing, Rey discovered gland discomfort was fairly common, but it usually happened within a few days of stopping. It’d been a few weeks for her. But it was probably nothing.

Probably. 

All this discomfort was unpleasant, to say the least, but it was at least distracting Rey from the worrying-session she would be having about seeing Ben tonight. Rey had texted him when she’d gotten home the other night. A quick ‘hi i’m alive. thanks for today. see you around.’ before promptly blocking his number so that she wouldn’t be tempted to call him and ask him to fuck her nine ways to Sunday. 

Maybe it was too far, but Rey was still a little jaded from the experience and didn’t trust herself to fuck it up even further. Best to just forget the whole thing ever happened and move on with their respective lives and try very hard to think of literally anything else but Ben when she masturbates. Totally fine. 

It’s a good plan… well, it’s at least a plan. And one that seems to be totally fine and likely to work, until she opens the door to Luke’s townhouse. 

On their normal trivia night, it’s just her small group of friends playing trivia games being moderated by Luke who seems to know the answer to every question. Theres a few drinks, some snacks, and maybe a joint or two.

There is not the entirety of the Organa-Solo-Skywalker clan and a buffet table that looks like something out of a Thanksgiving issue of Better Homes & Garden. 

This will not be their normal trivia night, Rey realizes with a deep sigh.

“Oh Rey! You came! I’m so happy to see you!” Senator Organa grasps Rey in a bear hug before she can even make it entirely through the threshold. Rey is shocked, but leans into the hug once she realizes what’s happening. 

“Senator, it’s been so long.” The older woman tuts while pulling back, arms still holding onto Rey’s shoulder. 

“Oh please, Rey, what will it take for you to call me Leia instead of stuffy ‘Senator Organa’?” She asks. 

“It’s… what’s proper?” Rey raises her shoulders in a shrug.

“My wife? Proper? Ha!” Han shouts, over-exaggeratedly slapping his knee. “That’s a good one, kid.” Rey smiles sheepishly as the Senator slaps her husband’s chest. From the corner of her eye, she sees a seated figure, with perfect posture and even more perfect clothes.

“Grandma Padmé!” Rey says, before moving between them to hug her. Grandam Padmé opens her arms wide as Rey leans down to hug her. Even in old age, she feels strong beneath Rey’s body. It’s comforting in a way that Rey isn’t used to, but loves all the same. When she pulls back, Padmé cups her cheek with a thin hand. 

“My goodness, Rey, you look lovelier every time I see you,” She says, making Rey grin even harder. 

“Thank you. How is Naboo?” She asks.

“Well, I think it’s beautiful this time of year, but I think it’s beautiful there any time of year, really,” She laughs. “You’ll have to come visit me this winter. Maybe you can drag my wayward grandson along with you.” Padmé gestures her head to the corner, where Ben is standing.

When Rey sees him, leaning on the bookshelf, shoulders hunched like he’s trying to make himself smaller, she has the urge to run to him and shove her face into his broad chest. While Rey could never forget just how big Ben is, it’s still shocking every time she sees him.

“Rey doesn’t like the cold, Grandma.” God. His voice.  

Rey wants to say that she would literally follow Ben to the ends of the galaxy if he asked her to follow, so going to his grandmothers estate wouldn’t be an imposition whatsoever. But that’s not conducive to the situation they’re in, so Rey goes for something a little more vague. 

“I’d love to come and visit you, someday, hopefully,” Rey says, turning back to Padmé.

“Very soon, hopefully,” Rey doesn’t miss the glint in Padmé’s eyes, “Not many years left in these old bones.”

“Geez, Mom,” Luke says, walking to the living room from the kitchen, “Don’t talk like that. Hey, Rey, will you help me with the sink; it’s all leaky again.” Luke was a brilliant man, with many wonderful qualities, but his ability to break a house like it was a china plate was unprecedented. 

“Of course, do you have a wrench-” “She’s a guest here. She shouldn’t be put to work.” Bens’ voice is practically a growl and Rey can feel the displeasure radiating off of him. The rest of his family stays silent, all looking towards a glowering Ben. His glare is firmly set on Luke, and she thinks she might see literal fire coming out of his eyes.

“It’s really no problem, it’s an easy fix. Won’t take very long at all.” Rey tries to cut the tension, but Ben doesn’t seem eased by this. “It’s really no problem, Ben,” She says to him. Only then does he look at her, mouth still pressed in a thin line. 

“Why don’t you go get her the wrench, Ben. I think Luke’s got one in the cellar. We can look together.” Senator Organa is not at all who Rey thinks is going to step up to the plate, but she does it anyways. Ben mumbles a few terse ‘fines’ before following his mother down the hallway. 

Ben looks at Rey the whole way.

-

“How do you know where a wrench is in Luke’s house?” Ben asks his mother as they go down the stairs.

“I don’t,” She calls back. Ben stops at the bottom step, giving his mother a confused look.

“Then why did you-”

“I figured you’d need a minute. I mean, I’m mated and all that but geez, Rey’s scent was strong. I’m honestly surprised you’re even able to stand upright with that walking around. The betas can probably smell her from-“”

“Mom, can we please… not do this right now?” Ben pleads, letting his face drop into his hands. 

“That was a pretty big display of ‘alpha prowess’ you showed back there. I don’t think we can not do this and make it through the rest of the night.”

“You didn’t tell me what you’re doing here tonight. Maybe we should discuss that first.” Leia shrugs.

“Mom wanted to see you, and I know you all have trivia every other Wednesday, so I figured we’d drop by.”

“Uh-huh. And the catered meal that you managed to have delivered two whole hours before anyone showed up; that was easy to get on short notice?” They’re in a glaring match now, both too stubborn to back down.

“I work quickly, Ben. Clearly unlike you, who can’t even tell a girl how he feels after years. Do you honestly think this is healthy? For you? For your friendship? You can’t go all alpha on people every time they suggest your omega goes to a different room.”

“She’s not my omega.” Each word feels like ash coming from his mouth. 

“And who’s fault is that? Luke and his leaky sink?” For such a short woman, Leia is able to show a disturbing amount of confidence and control, something Ben has yet to master. It makes the words even harder to hear sometimes, like right now. Ben winces before running a hand through his already disheveled hair. 

“I’m working on it. It’s just… difficult.”

Leia softens at this, and seems to remember that she’s fighting her son and not another political enemy. She walks towards him, brushing the hair out of his eyes. 

“I know it is, honey. But I promise you, you’ll feel better once you tell her how you feel, no matter the outcome.” Leia’s voice is soft and gentle, and Ben is reminded of being a teenager and his mother comforting him when he was too scared to ask a girl to prom.

“I don’t know that that’s true,” he chuckles humorlessly.

-

By the time Ben and Leia rejoin the group upstairs, Rey has already fixed the sink with her bare hands (because of course she’s stronger than any measly tool) and is currently stuffing her face with pigs in a blanket. Ben wishes that he didn't find the pastry puff crumbs already lining her shirt so stinking cute. 

“I just don’t see how you can go from making a pie to making beanie weenies,” She says, mouth half full. When she realizes that Leia is in the room with her, she snaps her jaw just and brushes off the crumbs. “Do you want some?” Rey extends the plate towards them, even though Ben knows that she will be more than able to eat the whole thing herself.

“No, we’re good,” Ben says before Leia can speak and take one away from Rey. They lock eyes for a moment, and Ben gets caught up in the flecks of gold around her irises. It’s better that they’re around other people right now, because if they were alone Ben wouldn’t trust himself not to cross over to her and hold her face so he can get a better look at them. 

Leia elbows his stomach and mutters ‘get a grip.’

-

“What is Scotts?”

Buzzer.

“Poe.”

“What is Tudor?”

“Yes. Pick a category.”

“Ugh, 1990’s for 600.”

“A 1990-91 war in the Middle East was fought in Iraq and this oil-rich nation.”

“Iran?”

Luke gave a pointed stare at Rose.

“… What is Iran?”

Buzzer.

This had been much the same interaction for the last hour. Everyone participating, even Grandma Padmé. The questions were hard, which wasn’t wholly unusual for Luke, but it made Ben struggle that much more to actually pay attention. Ben easily dominated the board most trivia nights, but his heart wasn’t in it tonight.

No, tonight, Bens’ heart was in an entirely different place all together.

Said place was picking at her fingernails, not even bothering to pick up the handheld device. Rey was just behind him in winnings, but it seemed that even the second champion was struggling to keep up. 

Ben knew that he wasn’t being inconspicuous like this; staring at Rey so hard that he’s surprised his eyes still worked. His whole body was inclined towards her, not the center podium everyone else was facing. Ben could swivel around, actually use he device handed out earlier and answer the damn question everyone seemed to be avoiding, but he just didn’t have it in him. Not when Rey was there, barely six feet away from him, smelling like that. 

Like cinnamon rolls and clean linen and sunshine and sex and daisies and babies and home and-

Oh shit.

Heat. Ben realized. Rey was going into heat and she was sitting six feet away from him. In a house with many other people. People who would not appreciate a Sasquatch jumping across the living room couch to sweep Rey into his arms and take her to the guest room and fuck her very loudly for a whole week. 

This whole charade got that much harder to endure. 

Ben doesn’t realize he’s standing until he feels the gaze of everyone on him, looking confused as to his dramatic rise.

“I’m… going to the bathroom,” Ben announces to the group, before stalking off towards the kitchen. Ben made route to the furthers part of the townhouse, where Luke’s master bedroom was and very spacious master bath. Ben honestly didn’t care if he was waling into a room filled with creepy porcelain dolls, he just needed to get away for a minute and try not to think about Rey.

Rey. 

Who he had scented exactly 76 hours ago. 

Who he had jerked off to probably more times than that in the following days.

Who he was probably in love with.

Who he wanted to marry and mate and fill with his pups and build a house for and live happily ever after with. 

Rey, who was going into heat. 

Ben defiantly didn’t need to be thinking about that. 

He stood at the vanity, knuckles white against the marble countertop as he stared at himself. If it weren’t for his distinguishable ears, that stuck out despite his best attempts at covering them with his hair, Ben wouldn’t have recognized himself. 

His eyes were bloodshot. Skin flushed. Lips bitten so roughly the were swollen. In short, a mess.

A light tap on the door, brought him out of his self-deprecation as he dropped his head and sighed. 

“Ben?” He hears Rey ask. Ben resist the urge to punch the mirror or the countertop, knowing that it could only end with him being more battered. When he didn’t respond, Rey spoke again. “Can I come in.”

No, he should say. No, get as far away from me as humanly possible because there is no way I can control myself around you without restraints of some sort. 

After another minute of silence, Rey opens the door. Ben looks back up into the mirror, seeing Rey over his shoulder.

 “Are you alright?” She asks, voice quiet. It breaks his heart a little to hear her so timid. 

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Her voice is a little more sure this time. Ben quickly turns around to face Rey. It is a horrible time for him to be made acutely aware of just how small she is compared to him. But he is aware of it, all the same. 

When Ben opens his mouth to speak, he’s met with a thick cloud of pheromones entering his body. It’s like getting body slammed by a sumo wrestler without knowing what the fuck is going on.

“You’re not fine. Please, tell me what’s going on, Ben.” The whine he emits when she says his name is involuntary and embarrassing, but Ben can’t think about that right now.

“You’re going into heat.” He says it through clenched teeth, eyes clamped shut.

“What?” She asks in disbelief. “I’m not going into heat. I’d know if I was going into heat.”

“Rey,” Her name feels heavy in his mouth, “You are going into heat. You don’t know how you smell.” Ben dares to open his eyes to look at her. Reys’ face goes from confusion to sadness and it makes Ben ache. 

“Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how bad I smelled.”

Bens’ jaw drops.

“What?” She asks, seeing his expression.

“You think you smell bad?” Ben sees a flash of anger across her features.

“Well, I’m sorry for however awful I smell! I can’t tell, ya know. You could’ve been a little nicer about it, instead of running off because you couldn’t stand the smell of me!”

Ben is frozen in shock for a minute before Rey turns to leave, but snaps out of it when she reaches the door. 

“Rey.” She stills, hand on the doorknob. “You don’t smell bad. You very much do not smell bad. Rey, I’ve never met anyone who smelled as amazing as you. It’s like.. like the most delicious smell I’ve ever encountered. Like warmth and love and babies and home and… I can’t handle it well. You smell so fucking good, Rey. Letting you go that day was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, and if you asked me to do that again, I honestly think I would loose my mind. If I can smell you and be as close to you as I was then without being able to keep you next to me, I wouldn’t survive. You don’t smell bad, Rey. You smell like everything I’ve ever loved.”

Her back is still turned to Ben, but she’s made no movement. Ben wants to spin her around and force her to say something, just so he can know what she’s thinking, but that turns out to be unnecessary. When she finally does turn around, there are tears just staring to spill over the corners of her eyes and her lips are quivering.

“You think I smell like home?” Her voice is shaky with emotion, and Ben can’t hold back anymore. Not when he sees his omega like this.

Ben closes the distance between them, enveloping Rey with his body. One hand goes to cradle the back of her head while the other snakes its way around her waist. He tucks his head into her neck, making him squat down. He feels Rey’s knees give out, and he guides her down to the floor, gently, resting between his legs. Her hands are tightly wrapped around his torso, holding not him just as he holds onto her.

“Yes, Rey. So good, it hurts,” he whispers into her ear. She holds onto his chest, quietly crying against him. His hindbrain is going awol trying to figure out how best to comfort her while his realistic brain was trying to figure out how far she would be okay with him going. He figures kisses to her hair won’t be a stretch, so he peppers kisses along her hairline, holding her head between his hands.

They stay like that for god knows how long, until his butt aches from he hard tile on the floor. Not that he would dare tell Rey that. He’s sit his bony ass on concrete for days if it meant being next to her. When the sniffling subsides and Rey uses his shirt to dry her eyes, she looks up at him.

Ben wishes he could map the constellation of freckles across her nose with his tongue. He barely refrains from doing so.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My emotions are all over the place.”

“It’s the heat,” Ben reminds her.

“How do you know, though? I didn’t even know, and normally I’m pretty good about guessing that kind of thing.”

“Have you ever had a heat while not on suppressants?” He asks her. Her silence is all the answer he needs. “That’s probably why.”

Her head drops agains his chest, groaning against the fabric coated in her snot. Ben rubs his hands along her back, trying to soothe her. When his hand gets a little too high and gently brushes against the edge of her gland, a tremor runs through her body. They both still at that.

“Ben,” He feels her say against his chest. When she looks up at him, her eyes are glassy but determined. He wants to tell her he loves her. “Lets get out of here.”

Ben can only manage to nod. 

-

come say hi on twitter!

#me @ myself: when are they gon fuck? #myself @ me: bitch when u make em #reylo #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #adam driver #daisy ridley #star wars #sw #fan fiction #ao3 #my work #appihtg

[deaky-disco-queen]

Who You’re Gonna Call? - Breaky Week Day 7

A/N: My final piece for Breaky Week! It’s for the prompt Someone Dies (None of the Boys dies, don’t worry, it’s really fluffy) and I Kind of barely skimmed the prompt but I really wanted to write this so here it is. Also there is a Tiny reference to some gore and murder and a suicide Happening so if that’s triggering for you please be careful or just don’t read it. It’s really minor but just to make sure. 

Can also be read on AO3. 

+++

“Guess what I bought!”

John sat on Brian’s desk, kicking his legs against his chair, grinning in the way that made his eyes crinkle up and showed off his tooth gap. Brian tried very hard not to be endeared by it but failed.

   “What did you buy?” He asked.

   “A spirit box!”

He showed him some weird device that looked like some kind of radio or walkie-talkie of some kind. Brian blinked several times, trying to make sense out of what John had said and what he was seeing.

   “A what?” He then asked.

   “A spirit box! It’s really cool! You can talk to ghosts by scanning through radio stations and they can use the radio waves to string sentences together. In a way.”

Brian groaned in annoyance and buried his face in his hands. John laughed and boxed him in the shoulder playfully, obviously enjoying his pain. He almost regretted saying yes when John had asked him to join his weird ghost hunting show as a co-host but he knew it was John’s passion project and he was his friend first and foremost and he didn’t want him to fail at his job just because Brian didn’t want to risk being awkward around his crush. Also, he didn’t want to imagine how this would have turned out if head asked Roger to be his co-host.

It didn’t stop him from wondering why he even liked John, though.

Nobody frustrated him quite like John. It wasn’t just the fact that he kept arguing with Brian that ghosts were real- they weren’t- or that they seemed to disagree on many other things that were so trivial it shouldn’t matter. Except when it came to John, they did and most of the time, they could be found squabbling about one thing or another. John was also very fond of playing tricks and little pranks on him. It was never anything mean so Brian never got mad at him. It just didn’t made any sense why Brian fell for him of all people.

   “Deaky…” He said, already feeling a headache coming. “You’re not really believing that, are you?”

John shot him a look that told him he did, in fact, believe it and Brian groaned.

   “Alright, sure, I’ll humor you. How does it work?”

   “I’ll show you at the location today. Finish up whatever you have to do and meet me at your car.”

John grinned and jumped off the desk and patted his shoulder when he passed him and Brian sighed and rubbed his temples before he went back to work.

+++

   “Oh, that looks like a haunted castle right there!”

John laughed and spread his arms out as he grinned widely at Brian. Brian was frowning up at the castle. If he had to pick a location for making a horror movie it would probably this one. It was old, with ivy growing over the walls and the towers, the windows were dark and it loomed over them on top of a hill.

   “I hate it already.” Brian said.

He shot the camera John was holding a quick look before adjusting his gear and double-checking the battery stand on his own gear. It would be a long night and he wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.

   “Do you have your sleeping bag?” He asked John.

John gently kicked a bag on the ground in front of him and Brian nodded happily, crossing that from his mental To-Do-List.

   “I can’t wait to meet some ghosts!”

Brian rolled his eyes on him but followed John towards the castle. It was even more creepy inside than outside. It was dirty- unsurprisingly, nobody lived here and the owners probably wanted to play up the whole ‘haunted’ look- and dark with weird portraits, old armors and typical medieval style decor around. And lots of spider webs.

   “This is-” They both started at the same time.

   “-gross as fuck.” Brian finished, wrinkling his nose.

   “-fantastic!” John said, grinning wildly.

They exchanged a quick glance, before breaking into giggles. They made sure to get some good footage of the unsettling hallways until they came to a big ballroom of some kind.

   “Hello, ghosts!” John yelled, cheering when it echoed through the room.

Brian shook his head at him but filmed it anyway, keeping the camera on his face to capture the childish delight on his face.

   “So tell me why we are here, then.”

John’s face lit up visibly and Brian smiled despite thinking this whole thing was kind of stupid. He was cute when he got excited. And if it meant he had to listen to a ghost story and John’s rambling for a while, then so be it. Brian sat down on the windowsill and waited until John had set up their tripod. Their legs brushed together when he sat down next to him.

   “Alright! Welcome to another episode of Unsolved! Today we are here in the Thrawcliff Castle where some extremely fucked up shit happened and we will try and get some ghosts to tell us more about it!”

He smiled at Brian before he went off about the history of the castle. Apparently, some 500-ish years ago the son of a rich family that owned the castle started hearing voices and developed violent tendencies that ended with him murdering his three siblings and his parents, only to commit suicide afterwards. It was a unsettling and sad story but once John got to the part where he talked about people feeling presences and apparitions, weird happenstances and whatnot, Brian felt the need to roll his eyes.

He let John talk, not feeling like he had anything but skepticism to add and while that was the whole reason he was here in the first place, he didn’t want to dampen John’s fun just yet. Not that he would, John seemed to not give a shit whether Brian was a fan of a location or not, still excited and determined to find a ghost. Or proof of a ghost.

   “This is going to be fun!”

   “Well, at least you can see the stars very well tonight.” Brian added, a smile tugging on his lips.

   “Stars and ghosts, we’re in for an amazing night!”

   “No ghosts, just stars, Deaky.”

John grinned at him, knocking their shoulders together, not even bothered by his lacking enthusiasm. He was probably used to it already, they have been doing this for a while now, after all.

   “Why not both? They are not mutually exclusive.”

   “Ghosts don’t exists, stars do.”

   “How do you know?”

Brian groaned loudly.

+++

They decided to test John’s spirit box thing on top of the tallest tower.

It was a horrible loud, piercing noise and Brian physically flinched back when he heard it for the first time and it didn’t get better with time. Brian hated it. He didn’t think he could hate it any more than being in a unsettling place in the dark and sleeping there but he was proven wrong. John loved to do that and he managed it again.

   “It switches through radio channels so ghosts can string words together to talk to us.” John explained to him.

Brian only barely resisted the urge to cover his ears.

   “Let’s go and ask the ghosts some questions, why don’t we?”

It was stupid. John was just talking to static with no answers- the unintelligible stuff- didn’t count because it wasn’t words- but he was ecstatic about the whole thing and kept asking questions. Brian had no idea how he did not get frustrated by getting nothing concrete in return over and over again.

   “Isn’t that amazing?” John asked.

   “Amazingly annoying.”

John rolled his eyes at him.

   “Come on, let’s do solo investigations!”

+++

The thing was, Brian didn’t believe in ghosts. He was a man of science and ghosts just didn’t seem like a plausible thing to him. Aliens, sure, space was just too big for them to be the only intelligent life form out there but ghosts? He couldn’t believe in it no matter how many different theories John proposed to him. None of the evidence convinced him enough to believe in it.

But Brian was still very afraid. Not because of ghosts, because that was stupid, but because there were so many other things to be afraid of. Ghosts may not scare him but potential injuries while being far away from medical help, getting an infection from the filthy surroundings and meeting some random serial killer sure did. The last one wasn’t really as likely as the others but he was still afraid of somebody lurking in the shadows of wherever they were, just waiting to get a chance to rob him or whatever. People were way scarier than ghosts.

So he hated the solo investigations because it was scary to be alone in a dark hallway in a creepy castle.

   “God, fuck, okay. This is still stupid but here we go: Hello, ghosts.”

He walked down the hallway, his flashlight shaking slightly.

Their fans found it hilarious that the skeptic of all people tended to get the most scared. Brian liked to think it was because he had common sense. John would happily invite a demon to possess him if it let him prove their existence. And Brian could respect that dedication. He just wished it wasn’t ghosts and demons and all of these kinds of things John was so obsessed with. It would save him so much trouble.

   “Damn you, John.”

He slowly made his way down the stairs into the dungeon- because of course all the gory things happened in the dungeon and many gory and downright disgusting things had happened here if John had been telling the truth- and he started to question his life choices again.

   “If there is anyone in here with me, please speak up.”

Of course there was only silence and Brian sighed.

   “Please don’t make me use the stupid box. Just talk to me so we can call it a day.”

There was still no answer and Brian sighed again, louder this time, and set down the spirit box and turned it on, flinching at the ugly sound it made. He tried to get some ghosts to talk to him but- unsurprisingly- got no response and left the dungeon as soon as John called him to tell him his ten minutes were up.

   “How was it? You scared? Met a ghost? Or a serial killer? Maybe a weirdo in a trenchcoat?”

   “Stop making fun of it and get us a ghost, I want to leave.”

John laughed and made his way downstairs while Brian set up their sleeping bags in the ballroom. He could hear John yelling at the ghosts- air-, demanding them to show themselves and talk to him. He was mercilessly taunting him and Brian could never understand how John could believe in them and yet be so incredible fearless. He read all these stories about them doing terrible things and causing violence and stuff and yet he didn’t seem to be scared at all. Or his way of dealing with being scared was cursing ghosts out.

After a while, it grew quiet and Brian knew John had finished his private investigation and waited for him to come back.

   “Find anything?” Brian asked.

   “Oh, I got some really interesting answers! I’ll show you later. Are you ready to go to sleep?”

+++

Brian could never sleep at locations and today wasn’t an exception. It was cold and uncomfortable and he was still afraid someone with bad intentions was going to show up. He just lay in the dark, turned away from John to see the door to the room which probably didn’t help his paranoia much.

   “Can’t sleep?” John asked quietly.

   “You know I can’t.”

He could hear John shift behind him and then he was kicked in the back until he turned around to face him. John’s face was barely visible in the darkness but he could make out his silhouette faintly.

   “Nothing is going to happen to us. No bad people will come for us. No one but us and the ghosts here. And since you don’t believe in those, you’re good.”

   “I know that.” Brian whispered. “It’s called an irrational fear for a reason.”

John chuckled softly and Brian hit him blindly in the chest, grinning satisfied when he let out a low groan.

   “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from any ghosts and serial killers. I promise.”

It didn’t really calm Brian in any way but it was a nice sentiment. He didn’t have to tell John that- he knew that- and so he didn’t and just let the silence between them drag on.

   “Oh for fucks sake, c’mere.”

   “What?”

Before getting an answer, John unzipped his sleeping bag and reached for him, pulling Brian close. John was way stronger than he looked.

   “Let’s zip us together.”

Brian tried to argue but it was a weak attempt and he held the flashlight so John could make their two sleeping bags in on big one. Then, he forced him to lie down facing away from the door, his head resting on John’s arm and their legs tangled together. His nose was almost touching his shoulder and Brian felt himself blush.

This wasn’t what normal friends did, was it? Though, normal friends wouldn’t go ghost hunting together either so was he really in any position to judge? John might not be the most touchy-feely guy but they had been friends for years now and he didn’t mind Roger or Freddie being all over him.

   “Are you comfortable?”

Brian nodded despite it being a bit of a lie. He didn’t know where he was supposed to put his hands so they were just awkwardly laying between them. John didn’t seem to have this kind of problem, easily wrapping his arm around Brian’s waist.

   “Good, then sleep. I’ll fight any evil people trying to get to us.”

   “You’re ridiculous.” Brian said.

   “No, just in love with you.”

Brian’s breath got caught in his chest. John’s bravery floored him over and over again. Of course he had no issues just confessing his love like this, as if it was nothing, as if he had nothing to fear, nothing to lose. Sometimes he wished he had even half of this bravery. But even now, he could not say anything even though he really wanted to.

   “It’s okay, Bri, you can confess your crush tomorrow. Maybe over brunch?”

   “Brunch sounds nice.” Brian choked out.

John hummed satisfied and pressed a short kiss into Brian’s hair.

   “Great, looking forward to it.”

#breaky #BreakyWeek2k19

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Chapter One- Ichiriba Chode-

Here she is- give her a shot! I’m a little in love with japan harry, and want him to fall- in love or on his face! Thanks to the tripod, Writers cannot live without ass taps, laughs and love!

The ride down through the clouds was tougher than any flight he'd been on, and he was double glad that Jeff insisted on him using the private jet. It was the right decision this time. He avoided flying private whenever he could. It always made Harry feel weird, like he wasn't a normal person or something.

Jeff often reminded him he was the most normal non normal person he had ever met. A normal person perhaps with a crazy abnormal life.

Commercial flights meant fans and at least one Instagram or twitter tag with his at. A geolocation attached. Then people would know where he was.   Where he was, he felt like he was about to enter another world, another phase of his life. A much anticipated and talked about phase, but one not explained or complained about yet.  He could see the Sumida River below him and the light dawning over Tokyo. He grabbed his tattered, leather notebook and pressed it to his nose, like he always did, before opening it. 'A sunrise over its homeland, welcome to Japan.' There had been a little rash of songs about this place as of late, though the interest in it wasn't exactly new. Harry loved this place, its sights and sounds, and the language that he could replicate in very short carefully memorized sentences.   He loved the sentiments expressed in those untranslatable sentences. That’s why he picked it. When he'd been near finished with the last album and realized he had a three month hole in his schedule, Jeff asked him what he wanted to do. And Harry wanted to do another movie. There was a script he'd been secretly hoarding, one he really wanted to make. He’d procured the rights to it, and a few others to cover his tracks.  It had a lot to do with his absolute love affair with this city. And his love of rom coms. And because he liked to either defy or supersede expectations. Everybody expected him to do a rom com, so he would, and he'd do the original with a current twist. Tokyo Holiday. The script was fun and pithy and used the landscape and culture and language he'd found so entrancing. He'd even made a solo trip once he'd read the screenplay, to visit some of the places and see a friend. He fell in love here. With the city. It would be easy, what he had to portray. He could easily imagine it. That was, he could imagine falling in love there. He wanted to fall in love, in Tokyo. On screen at least. It was the one he wanted to make, and since Jeff liked to exceed his expectations, they were doing a condensed shooting schedule. Jeff had gotten him just about everything he wanted. Including Ada Scott. He'd been enamored of her work for years, and he'd met her father, Garner Scott, many many times. He was a close friend of Irving's, and had been an influential producer and maestro in the music industry for so long, it was more accidental than anything else that Harry had never directly worked with him. Ada was the mystery though, he'd never met her anywhere in LA or New York or London. He thought he'd heard she went to school for some time in England. He was fairly certain she went to the Sorbonne for University. Ok, he was totally certain, he had spent a lot of time researching her. Ever since her little movie cum critical darling, Wildflower, had taken up permanent residence in his mind and inspiration bank.  It wasn't a love story, not really, so it was weird he wanted her to direct his rom com. And he wanted her at the helm so bad he had insisted and said he wasn't doing it, even after they had gone through all the set up motions and contracts pending, unless she was the director. It was the way she framed the sexual moments in 'Wildflower', a coming of rage story about the daughter of absent parents who struggles with addiction, to substances and love. The sex scenes were just part of the landscape, an aspect of the lead character's life, not the focus of the story. Some of the set ups were unromantic at best. Ainsley, the lead character, was flippant, and occasionally predatory in her search for affection. But the love scenes, sex scenes, were so beautifully framed and imperfect, sexy in their raw realness. They lacked the air brush of Hollywood and the filter of instagram. There was nothing perfect about them, but the emotion was real and moving. Even the negative emotions. And they were from the female gaze. Which was getting more common. However, Wildflower's female gaze was imperfect, skewed, and flawed.  That was not so common. He wanted to bring that to the Tokyo Holiday script, some aspects of the story needed grit. The plot of the movie was a young royal sent on his first solo trip. Eyes of the world on him and a laundry list of rules about his behavior. He'd be in a city, Henry Stuart,  the royal was named, that he harbored a fascination with, and no opportunity or chance to see a thing. All of his sight seeing would be carefully guarded and heavily photographed. And official. Henry hated official. Basically it was familiar territory for Harry. The flip side of the movie, was the translator assigned to Henry. Akio was a gatekeeper. The translator gig gave him the ability to exercise that. It was also a means to an end for him, the translation was so that he could pay for his travel in and around Japan, his love of good food, and constant need for fashion and fun. He was older than Henry and burly, manly, and everything Henry secretly fantasized about. And when he noticed the young prince's absolute frustration with the gilded prison he lived in, he fished. He'd share pictures of his adventures, and tell Henry about meals and moments he'd loved. It didn't take long before Henry was sneaking out to try the tiny sushi bars and all night dance clubs. The best part was Akio's warm hand in his own and wide shoulders bracketing him when they came across another threshold, when Akio let him step first into new worlds. Harry was excited to see how Ada would handle the dichotomy of the polished world versus the gritty excitement Henry and Akio found in underground Tokyo. He hoped she made the night life dreamy and the day times surreal. Harry was sure she would. The notes that Jeff had brought out from meetings he had missed were exactly what he wanted. He was excited to see how Ada would handle their love scenes. They were so bittersweet on the page, awkward and almost uncomfortable, but such a eye opening moments for Henry, Harry could see Ada mastering them. True to life and life altering. He was excited to see how Ada would frame Tokyo. She'd traveled here, he'd found deep in her Instagram. She was younger, and there were lots of emojis and exclamation points. Those were largely absent from her current social media presence. He wasn't sure if that was due to her falling in love with Japan, like he had, or because she had grown out of effusion. He hoped the latter was not the case. He appreciated enthusiasm, liked it loads better than sophistication. He was excited to meet Ada. Not because she was beautiful, but because he was a fan. And he was damn lucky the scheduling had worked out, and that she was willing to risk her critical capital on him. Risk the buzz around her on a rom com. It could be a really good movie. He knows, and bankable. He could be bankable, was. It could also be a huge flop, effectively ending his film career for a time and her directorial rise. Harry wasn't sure why she was doing this. It wasn't about money. She'd been raised music royalty and could probably just be rich as a job for her whole life. But she'd gone to really great schools and worked really hard. She'd made a great but uncomfortable film. It was nothing like the film she was going to make with him. Harry was a bit confused about why she had said yes. Sometimes, when he was trying to close a deal, wanted somebody, like Jeff Bhasker, he met them personally. It always did the trick for him. He was charming. Jeff always said people fell a little in love with him. Harry would deny it, if it wasn't mutual. He always fell a little in love with the people he worked with. It was almost never consummated. But he hadn't met Ada. So it hadn't been his famous charm that got her to sign on. Harry hadn't even called. Jeffrey said the negotiations were surprisingly brief. "Is it because our dad knows her dad?" Harry was searching. Why would she take the risk? Irving was compelling, he knew that. "'Maybe, but I think Ada is, like, begrudgingly in the industry, like was looking to make her own name and avoid Garner's large footprints." That’s probably why she stayed away from music, or maybe she had a bad voice. That would do, she needed a flaw. With the Ivy League, and the face, and the taste. What was she doing with him? With his movie? Maybe she was a secret directioner. He laughed out loud and startled the quiet air of his solitary cabin. Unlikely, though that wouldn't be the weirdest or the first. God, what if she had a little thing for him? That would be so awkward. Kinda thrilling too, he bit his lip at the thought. He'd shaken that older woman stigma, but it was still a flavor he enjoyed under the radar. He shook his head at himself. Ada was a woman, women didn't risk their whole lives for his dimples. They didn't have the time. You could come over after their kids were asleep, so long as you left before they got up for school. Or you could spend the night when they were at dads for the weekend or school Holidays. You had to work into their schedule. Like the movie had. Maybe it just fit and she liked the script. It was good and a fresh take on a classic, like Alessandro reincorporating the green and red web. In any case, Harry was a bag of nerves to meet her, his director. Maybe not the way he was for Chris. But he'd met him way later in the process. And that wasn't his ship. He was a member of a big and bright ensemble. He hoped they got along, he hoped she got his dumb jokes, and they had creative chemistry. He hoped she liked him. They finally got to where he could deplane and go straight through customs. He hoped the hour, just gone dawn where it first touched earth, meant he'd be able to get in undetected. He'd gotten lucky a lot lately. The short hair helped. He missed the long locks as much as everybody else, but princes were not allowed rockstar hair so, he'd cut it. His mum favored this length. "Welcome to Tokyo, Mr. Styles,"  a bright eyed customs girl smiled. It was conspiratorial, like she'd helped him pull off a trick. Masa was waiting at the baggage area for him, and had collected his things already. That would be a neat trick, if the private stuff didn’t always come out of the oversized belt to the side.  Plus, it was all worn high end pieces.Masa knew them. They'd lived in his living room going on three times now. "Osu Ha-ri, genki?" His burly friend said. He loved when men were taller than him, then he drew fewer eyes. "Hisashiburi, Masa!" They embraced. He also loved when he was smaller, his wingspan was usually the widest. Not with Masa. He barely remembered how'd they met, Harry thought it had to do with Bell. Something to do with the dog. No, it was the boxing gym; Masa’s business, but the dog was there. But he'd immediately felt comfy and happy. Cozy. That was a feeling Harry had learned to listen to, made sure to include people in his life who made him feel like he was at home immediately. When you essentially run away with the circus at 16, you get homesick. The road family was good, but after time, Harry realized there were people who looked out for you, people who looked out for themselves, and people who used you. The ones that looked out for others, like Cal, and Ben, and the Azoffs, gave him an immediate feeling of home. Like when he would wake up and smell his mom baking, or see her come in with dirt under her nails, or the steam of his favorite mug placed in front of him, but flesh.   Since he'd started his own circus, he'd felt at home with Mitch, especially, which was why he was closest to him and Sarah. And Helene, though that one got complicated a few times, and he'd felt like that with Masa. Or maybe Bell, in any case, he liked seeing them when he was in Japan. As he was setting up arrangements and Jeff had asked him who he wanted for his own Akio, his own Japanese handler, he'd immediately said Masa. Masa has been thrilled, had even wanted Harry to stay with them. "You sure you want to go to the hotel, Ha-ri. We set up the guest room?" Masa took his carry on from him, but was wise enough to not try for the suitcase. Harry could only take so many insults to his man hood. He liked being smaller, but not feeling small. "Nah, man, I couldn't put you guys out, and I have to be on set so early sometimes. I may even sleep in my trailer, if my last time on set is anything to go by." He hefted his brown leather satchel up and rolled his massive-'whole life in a suitcase' bag behind him. "I'd hate to think you guys may be waiting for me." "We wouldn’t mind." Masa, so polite. The Japanese could give the English a run for their money in manners. Masa meant it. He didn't break out any of the pleases Harry had tried to learn last time. There were a lot of ways to say please in Japanese. Harry was relieved Masa didn’t push more. He could stay there, it would be ok. But there would be expectations. "The studio already paid for the hotel." That could be fixed, but Harry knew he would run himself ragged trying to please everybody. He'd see Masa every day and his girl and Bell on weekends, or when they traveled.  And he'd work out at the gym. They'd shoot a little in Kyoto too. And somewhere on an island with gorgeous hot springs. All around Tokyo, mostly. He expected his four legged family to show occasionally. He hoped that the already paid money and set up would be enough. Masa smiled a little bemusedly and hoisted Harry's bag with his journals and toiletries and workout shoes up his shoulder and then tromped to his car. When Harry sat in the front seat, Masa looked at him, "what are you doing?" "You want me to ride in the back?" Harry could tell he looked like a really attractive bug at the moment. "Well, you won't stay at my home, so, figured I was just an employee." Harry stood with the door open trying to figure out how to respond, he felt like his was standing hanging his ass out a window for how exposed he was. Standing outside near an airport of all places. He was stuck, he had no idea he had offended Masa so much. Could they get over this? Would he be pissed for long? Should Harry just stay with him? Dammit. He totally didn't subscribe to the you shouldn't work with friends idea, most of the people he worked with started or became friends. It usually meant trust, not squished toes. Fuck. The grin took over Masa's handsome face a moment later, it was huge, big as the freak out Harry was just engaging in. Then he snorted a laugh that sent Harry's eyebrows way up his forehead. "I'm just fucking with you. Get in before you get photographed, or worse, mobbed!" Masa was coughing by the time Harry had the door closed and was pulling the seat belt on. "That wasn't very funny." Harry shook his head but a laugh was rumbling in his chest too. "That's because you couldn't see your face!" Masa wiped a tear, he was very satisfied with his joke and Harry narrowed his eyes at him. Gemma would pull some shit like this, play on his natural insecurity about upsetting somebody, especially somebody he cared about, and then crack up in his face. This felt familial. Which was why he had learned to listen to the warm feeling in his gut when he met certain people. They were the best ones. And they made the traveling circus home. Masa was home. Japan in a person. He had lived in the U.S. as a teenager, and was fluent in English, which helped him teach Harry Japanese. He even got English humor, though Harry's puns were inevitably lost on him. Lost on everyone. "Alright, Jesus. You're not that funny. Keep your eyes open, so we make it to the hotel in one piece. Just for that I should make you be a chauffeur and ride in the back of the car." "You won't. You'll feel too off. Besides, I can drive and laugh at you, I suspect I'll get really good at it the next couple months." He grinned like an ass Harry's way. "So what's the next couple days like, the itinerary I got is kinda bare at first." "I think that's to do with people arriving, Ada, the director, is coming right off some work in New York, and flights and delays and crews and entourages." He made a ‘you know’ gesture. Masa just looked at him, and Harry had to laugh. His life was weird. Most abnormal normal person ever. "But, anyway, I'm supposed to, um, wow the river!" And he pointed to the bright sun spot on the water and got totally distracted. He loved this city. "Do you want me to stop?" Masa asked, put on his indicator. He knew Harry was going to be impossible to distract from the sight until he really saw it, maybe wrote on it. It was quiet. Harry thought he could chance it. So he nodded, barely waited for the car to stop before he stepped out, on what would soon be a very crowded bridge and stood, bathed in the opening day. This could be a good thing, a great start of something. This morning felt like it. This movie was the beginning of something, big. He was terrified. But he tried to do things that scared him. And this movie was going to bring up the perpetual questions about his sexuality. Harry was ready to just say the obvious. But point out that actors didn’t need to be lgbtq to play a character who was. He was scared of this too, because he didn’t like the pressure to define himself, to be definite. He liked fluidity, ambiguity. But he’d do it, for the film. Maybe to stop the question once and for all. That made him laugh, unlikely.

He’d tested it out in the mirror a lot when the movie got the greenlight. ‘I’m bisexual.’

‘I fall for people, not women or men necessarily.’ ‘I like both.’ It didn’t really matter, but the question was the bad penny that kept turning up, so he’d lay it to rest, say he was bi, and hope nobody pressed, like that awful woman in that Bowie interview. He hoped some progress had been made. He hoped lots of things.

Harry was so glad Jeff was coming and that he had Masa. He could do it as long as he stayed near people who made him safe, like Jeff and Masa.

He hoped Ada felt like family, like ichariba chode. Like Masa taught him. Friends that feel like home. Harry loved that the Japanese had a word for his abstracted feelings. That would make it easier for him to slip into character. This prince in an ivory tower with high expectations,myriad rules, and attraction to something uncommon. It was much closer to him than Alex, his previous role. He felt good, like this moment was an omen. He took it in like he did the crowds at his shows, looked over the water like it was a whole sea of people who thought he was amazing. He could be amazing. He hoped Ada thought so. He couldn't wait to meet Ada. He was terrified. It was three days later when she made it to set. She was late, so the production had started without her. Just coverage and blocking. They couldn't get too far behind. So the producers urged the A.D. to get going. It was going well, Harry felt like he'd made a good opening salvo by renting the karaoke hall last night. He'd sung with each group, in each room, even took requests. They were out until really late. He knew he looked slightly worse for wear, he hoped Ayae’s eye patches took down the bags. She made some very unhappy noises over the concealer this morning. His balance, which sucked most days, was always worse when he was hungover. It was why he rarely drank when he had to perform. He really shouldn't have last night. But you have to drink when you’re being toasted. He got toasted a lot. After every song. Before every song. During musical breaks. He was feeling really queasy, having trouble staying on his mark when he heard a new voice. The whole room was angled it's way. "Sorry," her voice was huskier than he expected. It was...nice. "I think they grounded every damn plane on the eastern seaboard. I was afraid I might have to reenact the movie Terminal. Get a set of toiletries at the overpriced shop, buy myself a blanket to go with the travel pillow I wore like a necklace for three days." The pillow necklace was still on, and it dawned on Harry that she had come straight from the airport. The pattern on the pillow was wild, kinda seemed to be moving. He needed some water. Wow, he felt a little like he was on a tilt o wheel.  She was really pretty. Better than her photos and she was dragging her suitcase. He should help her. Harry rushed up to take her bag, and lost his balance. Pulled his Harry special and tripped over his own pigeon toed feet. Ada reached out to grab him and he fell face first into her cleavage. He knew his cheeks were red, well, if they weren't green. The motion angered his tender stomach. The croissant he'd hoped would calm his belly came up, he missed her cleavage, but it splattered, green and chunky all over her Gucci trainers.

He should have bought those, was his thought before they got covered in sick. "Fuck!"  Ada screamed and jumped back from him. Just keeping ahold to keep him aloft but trying to get out of the way of his spew. He felt more than embarrassed, like when he'd got caught saying pussy on TV. But mom wasn't here to ground him this time. What a shit first impression! Only way out was through. He didn't even try a charming smile, the spit trail would ruin it. "Hi, sorry, I'm Harry."

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #a premonition of love #apol #one direction #one direction fanfiction #harry styles imagine #japan harry

[bluboothalassophile]

I honestly don't understand DC always trying to undermine Raven's powers. I read the current comics that she's in and it is so poorly written and boring. They suck at character development and its so fucked up that she's always brushed aside. And also I'll never forgive them for killing Roy and they keep fucking up Jason. These guys went through a lot and I just wanna see them be happy and I want to see more batfamily moments and team ups like in Batman and Robin Eternal.

Hello,

Reasons I am mad about Canon Raven:

She’s ALWAYS depowered; always, and she is literally the very definition of an over powered character. 

When they attempt to over power her again they fuck it up; like in Titans with Raven’s ‘telepathy’; she’s a fucking empath! NEVER has she been a telepath!

She has never been utilized outside of the Titans; which is infuriating on many levels. Because she needs to go solo; with a big comic or go to JL Dark or hell, team her up with Lucifer! I don’t know, but something outside of the fucking Titans!

Her solo series, while hold much promise are always cut short, or tie into nothing about her canon life.

They just severed her connection with her aunt and cousins, further isolating her again.

I am royally pissed that her connection with Victor Stone, a.k.a. Cyborg, (which I think is canonly her BEST familiar relationship EVER, their dynamic is amazing; it’s also an amazing dynamic for Victor too! So why was it cut!?) has been severed, was briefly rekindled only to be discarded again.

She’s always de-aged; sorry @chromium7sky, but I really hate that because I really think she should be about Jason and Tim’s age, hell, I’d even settle her being Dick’s age, just enough de-aging her! At this rate; and I’m sorry @impulse-goblin, she’ll be a RobRae with Carrie Kelley or Matt McGinnis! Which is so not okay because DC is screwing her over royally.

Marv, her creator, can no longer write her well to be engaging; which is sad.

She’s been royally dumbed down; which really fucking pisses me off, because even though N52 SUCKED BALLS, Raven, while bitchy, was always eager to learn; it’s one of her defining traits! She’s super smart, she’s engaging, she’s empathetic and kind, and rebirth has made it so she struggles with school. -.- Explain that to me, please, she’s never been stupid or struggled learning before. And I get trying to connect with modern readers, and making characters relateable, but that was just plain fucking stupid. There are other characters you can do that with, using Raven does not help in anyway.

I will not get into my issues with N52, there’s many, but mainly: WTF is up with Raven’s Entire Personality!? I mean don’t get me wrong, I loved the design she had, and I loved her on Tim’s team, also their entire friendship was amazing, but WTF, what a Bitch. I wanted to smack her.

They either forget she is a magic user, or they forget she’s a demon with demon abilities or something, but it always seems like one or the other is missing with her.

Off side key irritation too: How come her father doesn’t play a larger part of the DC universe and getting heroes to fear him? I mean come on! Titans plays him up to be like Darksied or Lucifer level of terrifying, and the DC universe: Who’s Trigon? WTF is that about!? You want the Only Daughter Of Trigon to have meaning, to show her power, then why the fuck isn’t Trigon more widely known and feared!? Come On People! We have Darksied’s ENTIRE Family feared, but you want to play Trigon off as eviler than Darksied but the entire DC universe outside Titans is like: Who the Fuck is Trigon!?

Kay, Metal hinted at her connection and importance to the Multiverse, but the DC, I don’t know… Forgot? And somehow the entire reason for her being captured, isolated and singled out by the Batman Who Laughed was forgotten. Granted my favorite panel of her and Victor happened because of that, but seriously; MAJOR PLOT HOLE DC! Come on, we aren’t Marvel, cease these plot holes in your big labels! Be grown ups!

Mainstream Raven hurts my Raven loving heart. But her counterparts are pretty cool, like on Earth 1 or Bombshells or the recent Titans movies, definitely liked her in the Titans live action show, and obviously I loved her in the cartoon; not Titan’s Go as that has helped in destroy her and the Titans. 

Now, my issues with Heroes Crisis:

King. Fucking cock teasing bastard tormented us with BatCat for over a year, getting them to the fucking alter then he did that fucking stunt; hell yes I am pissed still, and I am no less angry going into Heroes Crisis.

Kay, now for real.

I have major issues with the plot, thus far, because there doesn’t seem to be one.

Killing Roy and Wally did nothing to further a plot, or even engage in the plot and has just furthered to hurting surrounding characters.

Killing Roy was fucked up and senseless; as a writer I find that appalling.

Killing Wally was unnecessary; especially after all the fucking trouble we had gone through to get that speedster back! I mean COME ON! It’s like you brought him back solely to kill him off, and if that’s the case, someone smack a brain into King’s fucking head.

While the premise of Heroes Crisis was engaging and interesting to read the idea for it, it has been a dismal affair.

Why the fuck are your only suspects Harley Quinn and Micheal Carter, a.k.a. Booster Gold? No seriously want to explain that!? 

There is NO WAY Harley would ever hurt or kill Ivy, just no, and DC I don’t care about trying to cater to people and convincing all of Harley and Ivy are straight, it just wouldn’t happen. Ivy and Harley are in love, and I sincerely doubt, that despite EVERYTHING Harley has done in her life, that she would ever kill the woman she loved.

Also, Micheal Carter has selflessly saved the timeline multiple times, and done so without recognition. Yes, he can be full of himself, but where the hell did King come to the conclusion that Carter was a sociopathic narcissist? Someone please explain the basics of human nature to King; PLEASE! For the love of God, someone! I expect this crap from Lobell!

Now to my fury with the Batfamily in it’s current state:

Rebirth presented us with fairly healthy dynamics between the Batfamily members; which was refreshing as all get out, but now… I’d like to rip DC’s heart out and shove it up their ass for what they’ve done.

First, they allowed King to be the ultimate cock tease! Bastard built up the fucking BatCat wedding to be the wedding of the goddamn century; going to make comic history! And he fucks us over like we’re a two cent whore whilst simultaneously destroying the Batfamily.

Second: who the fuck even ALLOWED Lobdell into DC again to write!? I mean really!? Did you asshole not learn your lesson the first time!?

Third, wtf is up with Ric Grayson; I get it, we’re all exceedingly immature for taking an actually socially acceptable nickname from the 1930′s and perverting it into penis jokes. But news flash, Dick’s character has evolved with taking that in stride and laughing it off. Changing his name only pisses us off and furthers our desires to make dick jokes. 

Fourth: What the fuck are you guys even doing allowing Lobdell near Jason? I get it Lobdell is some ‘big shot’ good ‘big name to have on a comic’ but his writing is shit, I’ve read better stories from Kindergartners. Lobdell is like the Russo brothers of DC, please remove him from our premise, and I petition for us, the fans, to take custody of Jason from Lobdell for the sake of global comic peace. The Dude Can Not For The Love Of God Write. I’m surprised he even knows how to arrange letters on a piece of paper to form words honestly.

Why aren’t Duke and Cass B’s kids? No seriously? Why!? We all know those are his favorite two kids, so wtf are they doing… anywhere else but with the Bats?

Why is Babs Batgirl? Don’t go with that female empowering crap answer, just don’t, she was a better icon as Oracle than as Batgirl. She’s long since outgrown the role, and she had grown beautifully into the role of Oracle, so run this by me again: Why did we take a beautiful survivor, who created empowerment for people with disabilities while remaining a strong female lead and turn her back into Batgirl? Seriously? Someone explain that to me!?

Thank God DC hasn’t fucked up Tim yet, but Can We Please Stop With Evil Batman Tim!? Tim doesn’t even want to be Batman! He Never Has Wanted To Be Batman!

WTF did you do with Damian’s character development? He is not this baby raging Bat anymore who seeks to kill everyone who crosses him. Also what the hell was up with the whole Dami’s got a secret prison thing? That lead to nothing and has since been dropped, but seriously people, who is the lead brain in DC right now allowing this shit!?

Again, I must ask, what’s up with evil Bat futures; have we NO HOPE that these boys can grow up and actually be decent people!? Really. I want to know. I don’t get the options you’ve given these heroes.

Why does B have a double standard when it comes to Kate and Jason; and don’t say it’s because Jason’s killed, Damian’s killed and B is trying to be a good dad to him, so what’s up with this shit!? Is it really so much easier to have the rift between B and Jay than attempt to amend it!? If B has a problem with Jason using guns then the same problem should be applied to Kate; I don’t care about her likability, she’s a bitch and the double standard should cease.

And why is Jason trying to connect with Willis Todd? Willis was an abuse fucker or did Lobdell for get his own canon material again? Someone please remove Lobdell from DC premises! PLEASE! Send him to Marvel or something, I don’t care, but stop allowing him to fuck over Jason because he wants to!

Now, again, I’m brought to the double standards B has and his own reckless behavior. DC please, either find a ethics and morals person to join your writing team, or grow a fucking brain because you are precariously close to having Batman become the killer and the villain.

Why are we isolating the Bats again, when they were so connected at the start of Rebirth? I want to read about the Batfamily BEING A Family! Not this divide and pit against each other crap. 

The worst part of all this is, Rebirth actually started off great! Now it’s a flaming pile of wreckage and I almost wish we’d go back to N52 if only to stop watching the same trainwreck over and over happen.

#bluboothalassophile #hello reader

[handjobprince]

Blonde- Frank Ocean IMOW

A track-by-track, emotion-based, “In My Own Words” review of Blonde by Frank Ocean

Although Blonde came out in 2016, the album didn’t resonate with me until the summer of 2017. I have a tendency to delay listening to albums until I feel like the “time is right”. I don’t ever force music on myself, i find that it ruins how the album actually sounds because of my current taste in music. Tastes evolve daily, as does music. 

Summer 2017 was a turbulent time for me. Still reeling from a breakup, I desperately lived from each blunt to the next. Drowning my sorrows in a lookout point in my town, alone, high. With every inhale and exhale, I temporarily forgot about the pain I endured that year. Blonde helped me heal, in a way. Although I didn’t truly recover until months later, Blonde was my technical “breakup album”. Putting all my frustrations from my ex into Frank’s dreamy, indie-r&b album. It was not until later that this album would shift its meaning for me.

Nikes- The lead single for this album provides a confusing memory for me. Being the first song released from this album, I was excited to finally get new Frank. I waited fucking years. Pressing play, I instantly thought I downloaded some shit ripoff of the song, being illegally downloading was all I did back in the day. Downloading different audio files all had the same end result. This song, however, grew on me. “I’m not him, but I mean something to you” hit me. Believing my ex left me for another person, this resonated with me. This was one of the many “Post-Work Crying On the Way Home I Need a Fucking Blunt” from that summer. One of Frank’s best qualities is the ability to switch from his soothing voice to laying down a fucking bar or two. He shows that talent well at the end of Nikes. Like many songs in this album, he is able to slowly transform a song into his own. Each song is like an adventure. 

Ivy- The original memory of this song is almost gone for me now. Fleeting is a sad memory of me trying to figure it all out. What went wrong. What went right, if at all. Now, it reminds me of my current partner. My ex and I never loved each other, although Summer 2017 Robert begged to differ. I know what love is now. My boyfriend provides that. “I thought that I was dreaming, when you said you loved me”. Frank’s vocals are unmatched in this song. No matter how hard I try to scream the end of this song, Frank sings it harder. 

Pink & White- BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS  BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS  BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS BEYONCE BACK UP VOCALS --> THATS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

Be Yourself- Reminds me of my own mother

Solo- This song is very, rough around the edges. He raps it beautifully, but it takes its time. The jarring start to this song catches you off guard, he just quick starts it. Already states the name of the song in the first 15 seconds. But he beautifully transforms it into not just some rap/r&b song, but personally Frank. Dreamy, elusive. 

Skyline To- The lookout point in my town is accustomed to this song. I would always play this during a sunset while I was there. “This is joy, This is Summer”. Sums up how this song feels for me. Summer, the wind blowing the grass and leaves in the trees around me. I feel closer to God, the energies around me. Skyline Dr. is a street that is around the lookout point, as well as a street in the town my boyfriend used to live in. We would play this album almost every weekend together. It’s a good song to Feel 

Self Control- Even though this is one of the most powerful songs on the album, I didn’t resonate with it in the summer. I was so preoccupied by the songs on the B-side of the record that this was a afterthought. Dumb me. A few friends had the lucky opportunity to see Frank at Governor’s Ball in 2017. One of the friends posted how excited she was to listen to this song in particular. That post made me fall in love with this song. Appreciate it. I hope this makes you do the same. The 3:15 mark is all you need to know. It’s fucking stellar.

Good Guy- The gayest song on this album. Literally, it’s about him meeting a man. It’s short, sweet, but makes me feel proud. If Frank is gay, then fuck so am I. 

Nights- The song most people on Twitter enjoy. I am also “most people on Twitter”. This was the SONG of the summer for me, Blonde aside. It has everything. Fresh beat, fresh bar, and A FUCKING fresh transition. Best transition in a song, ever. You can’t compete. I still get goosebumps. This song exudes sex for me. Describes how an orgasm feels. A waterfall of emotions. I Know Every Line so I can’t post a lyric because it would be the entire song. Fuck. fuck. Fuck. The bass. I love bass. But, this bass after the transition made me rethink my entire life. This song is religion. It is everything my summer last year embodied. 

Solo (Reprise)- ANDRE 3000 ANDRE 3000 ANDRE 3000 I still can’t believe that Frank got that shit. I know they friends but, hot damn. Andre 3000 coming in with that “AYYEE”  is fucking wild. I wish I could rap this entire thing. 

Pretty Sweet- It’s an afterthought for me, honestly. I know I can’t disrespect Frank like that, but due to the fact that the songs that come after that impacted me that much. I skip every time

Facebook Story- skip, although relatable facebook story because I was the girl at one point in time

Close Story- This song is, for me, quintessential “Driving In Your Car” song. This and “30 Hours - Kanye West” define a road trip for me. I somehow feel as if I’m in a convertible car, in some desert, driving and care free. Maybe that video of SZA doing exactly that affected me, but still.  

White Ferrari- This was the song I first cried to from this album. A milestone for any Frank song. I remember leaving my night class freshman year, walking home. Seeing the sunset, being sad for whatever reason. Maybe I was homesick, maybe I felt like I wasn’t fitting in at college. It still makes me feel that way, that emotion that I felt. I feel the sting, still. 

Seigfried- This song was the one that affected me the most on the “Post-Work Crying On the Way Home I Need a Fucking Blunt” drives. I memorized every word. I would play this song straight from the mall, until it ended right before I passed the town square. I really fucking thought I sounded like Frank when I sang this. It’s one of the most powerful, raw, authentic songs on the album. He opens up, the beat itself is vulnerable. Letting you see this, side of him. I instantly have this vision of going to my apartment that summer. A single. All Christmas lights on, no clothes on. I felt liberated, but also felt so sad. The weed didn’t help. This song helped in ways I didn’t think it would. “This is not my life, It’s just a fond farewell to a friend” “I’d do anything for you, in the dark”. That line was my crying call. I would do anything to get my ex back. Now, it means nothing. I learned I can’t defend the demons of other people. 

Godspeed- Holy god damn. This song brings me to when my suitemate hooked up this song to his speaker and played it for the rest of us when it first released. My heart SUNK. He looked at me with this “yeah i know, right?”. I will always love you frank??? Damn. 

Future Free- This song was added after the while of the album being added. So, it didn’t resonate at all. It’s still a rad song. 

This album now reminds me of intimacy, love, and caring. All the negative emotions have been replaced. Frank’s best work to date, and with lack of tour dates to accompany this beautiful album, it makes me want more. 

#frank ocean #blonde #album review

[geneshaven]

When The Writing Keeps Hope Alive (and when it falls flat on its face.)

It just occurred to me that most of the quality writing thus far in season 6 has been for Olicity. Is this a coincidence? Are the writers putting more effort into their story this year to make up for the blunders that were the BMD and Billy Malone and Susan Williams, not to mention how they breezed over the aftermath of  Havenrock and Felicity’s paralysis and the sickly sweet fluff of 4A. Is William going to be another useless drama plot point to challenge Olicity, and maybe even stall them some more?

I really don’t think that Oliver and Felicity are going to ever again go down those destructive roads. Their whole journey together has been about one of stages.

When they first met, (at least Felicity with Oliver---Oliver already sort of met her when he and Maseo broke into to Queen Consolidated a couple years before Olicity even met.) it became one of the most believable and beautiful relationships in television history. Through working together, they became friends and confidantes. They began a rhythm that has culminated into what we are seeing now; six years later. Felicity still considered herself Oliver’s employee in Season 1, but it definitely wasn’t like she dreaded going into work as any normal employee sometimes feels. No, Felicity was making a difference working with Oliver and John. She wanted to be there (where else could she watch such exciting and stimulating action like Oliver sweating it out on the salmon ladder?)

Then in season 2, when their established friendship began to turn towards something more; the shoulder touches and heart eyes, the unspoken looks and gestures they began to develop, started to happen. Oliver began to know as early as 206 that he was in love with Felicity. However, the man was still fragmented, drifting through the motions of his superhero identity as it began to take hold of him through the encouragement of Felicity. Season 2 has been argued as the best season Arrow produced. Maybe so. But the writing for Olicity, when there were still romantic traces of Laurel lurking about to lull us all to sleep---superseded itself and  began to shine a light on the correct direction Arrow’s main romantic arc would go.

The next stage was season 3.  It was an angst filled, sexual frustrated, slip of the tongue love confession oratory that strung us along with almost unbearable tension and expectation. The will-they, won’t they trope took off in this season, almost a half empty-half full glass of uncertainty and promising moments. Implications of their love for one another kept dancing around the edges of their hearts and our patience’s. Ray was introduced and immediately hated. It was a tough go watching him and Felicity play girlfriend/boyfriend, watching them flirt and touch, and god forbid, make love. Thankfully, we were spared that eyesore. (I wouldn’t have watched anyway---so there!) Oliver was still out there in his darkness flying solo. He was making decisions that directly affected his life---almost fatal in a couple of cases. But what he did not yet realize was that those decisions were also affecting other’s lives as well: Thea’s and John’s and Roy’s---but most importantly; Felicity’s. He was using the same page out of Slade’s playbook…alone is what he does best. Finally, Oliver came out the other side of his loner descent into the League and stepped back into the light that Felicity set ablaze in his mind, body and soul. He took hold of his humanity and was ready for the next stage.

Which is Season 4A. He discovered happiness in the happy bubble he created in Ivy Town. Felicity was happy too, but she still had one foot back in Star City, still had that electricity running through her whenever she could make a difference. Ironically, it was Oliver’s crusade, his initial influence on her life that gave Felicity her focus. Making failed attempts at omelets and having morning sex romps and domesticated brunches with boring neighbors---it was just not very realistic. It was Disneyland. And Felicity was not on board with most of it. She wanted the life her and Oliver had synced with when he was donning his Green Hood and she was guiding him through the dangers via Overwatch. Yin-Yang kisses and wedding proposals and tragedy took them to the pivotal episode of 415 when their relationship imploded. Lies and mistrust and deep pain sunk in like a seminar on how to write really bad story arcs. There were still lingering ghost sightings of their love for one another, just enough to justify the beginning of the end of Olicity.

Season 5.  All of it, except maybe for the last 4 episodes. The only thing that was really written well was Adrian Chase. Josh Segura brought that evil to life in such a wonderful performance. I was happy when 520 happened and Olicity was brought back to the forefront. Still, the year and a half they were kept apart and for the reasons why; I suspect it will go down as the low point in Arrow’s turbulent run. The cliffhanging kiss they ended the season on was, for me, the antithesis of trying my patience. There was overtones of will-they, won’t-they, of hard regrets and long talks about it, of implied getting-back-together vibes. Then the Yian Yu blew up and nothing was certain anymore.

So here we are at the crossover event of Season 6. Olicity is well established as a healthy, well rounded relationship. There is kissing again, (on a regular basis) brief moments when the 9:00pm time slot was getting ready to burst into our faces and sweep us all away with hot, steamy release, which includes a lot of screaming and fainting. But alas, that hasn’t happened yet. No shirtless Oliver thus far, not to mention shirtless Felicity as well. I understand many fans who have not embraced most of this Season’s stories so far. There is hope in contradiction. Olicity has given those many fans denough reason to keep tuning in each week. Hopefully, the rest of what makes Arrow work…mainly OTA and non-interference by trying ‘new directions’ for those characters, will bring back the faith and spirit and believe the journey has set sail for when Oliver came back to save his city---and himself.

I am optimistic. As long as Oliver and Felicity, John and Thea and all the other familiar elements of the show, elements that took hold of me when I started to be a fan and then a shipper---as long as it all endeavors to stay upright and sane---I am willing to keep an open mind.

Monday night we get Nazi’s. As much as that makes no sense at this point in the show’s history, we are also getting an Olicity wedding.  Again I ask---is this coincidence or some sort of writing brain fart? Maybe it’s both. And maybe it’s also the turning point for the season. Maybe 6B will end up being an Emmy nominated tour de force.

Just as long as whole islands don’t blow up or long established characters don’t go into comas or become compromised by not ducking when flaming shrapnel hurtles toward them.

Just as long as true love stays around to pick up the slack of tepid storytelling. And come on writers---enough with the interruptions whenever Olicity is moving in with the heart palpitations.  And why haven’t we heard out loud yet, Oliver and Felicity telling each other they love one another. Yes, showing it is a vital writing tool---but saying it out loud makes it more tangible, like seeing a dazzling sunrise of sunset and being moved by the colors in the sky.

@it-was-a-red-heeler @almondblossomme @hope-for-olicity @memcjo @flowerandsunshine @inevermindyou @dmichellewrites @casydee @nalla-madness @charlinert

#Writing for Arrow #Olicity

[knightedrogue]

R, V, X for the fanfic writer meme, please? Thank you!

Thanks @lajulie24!

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

Oh, yes. Let’s talk fic authors, because then we can all enjoy the fun together and call out some excellent people at the same time!

1. Ivylore: When I first started writing fic in the early 2000′s, I could not for the life of me figure out what kind of author I wanted to be. I wrote everything from mindless fluff to awful character death angst to a random story about archetypes. Sometime in there I started reading and talking to Ivy in the context of H/L message boards. And she completely blew me over with the maturity of her characters and their relationship. The way she wrote Han and Leia made me think of them as real people, with faults and failures, who are redeemed by their choices and love for each other. It was a revelation. I  know lots of people find “Renewal” too dark to read, and I understand that feeling. But talking with her about her choices in writing that story made me realize a fundamental truth about fic-writing: your characters do not have to be anyone else’s stories. They might be Han Solo and Leia Organa, but they are your Han Solo and Leia Organa. 

2. @corellianblue: I have a feeling she’s going to roll her eyes at me when she reads this, but it’s true. Lemme tell you: Cindy Olsen’s fics on the Corellian Embassy (and in zines) were the highlight of reading fic for me. Like Ivy she treats Han and Leia as real people, with failings and flaws. I remember reading “Day and Night” and “Only Night” (companion pieces about Han’s time in carbonite) and coming away with a new understanding of her characters every single time. Over and over again, I’d read them. It was a fundamental change in how I saw Han and Leia, a deeper, adult relationship that I had never considered and, to be honest, I hadn’t experienced. 

3. @holdouttrout: Also going to roll her eyes at me when she reads this. :) Trout is a real-life friend of mine and when we realized that we loved each other’s fanworks as well, it was a glorious moment. When you read a piece from Trout, you see her complete understanding of language and how to stab right at the heart of a matter. For me, a free-wheeling adverb-using anarchist, Trout’s writing was inspiring. And then, too, she was the one to remind me to keep writing when I first came back to fandom. I was so frustrated by my rusty skills and instincts, and she urged me to keep writing through all the shit. And that advice was the perfect reminder for me. 

I already did “V” so I just skip on over to ....

X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading?  Are you a voracious reader?  Do you carefully pick and choose?  Something in between?

I think for me it’s a matter of how much time I have to devote to fic-reading. Sometimes when I’m writing a fic that’s particularly challenging, I won’t be able to read anything for fear of my insecurity rearing her ugly head. 

But when I have the time and am feeling secure (god, that sounds awful, but I’m sure my fellow authors understand the sentiment), I like to read long stories slowly, completely engrossed in the world of the fic. For instance, it took me months to start reading Knitzkampf’s “Nobody But Yourself” or Dant Solo’s newest “Dark Matters 2″ but once I read them, that’s all I read. I’m not always the most voracious reader until I know that the author is committed to finishing their story (yes I know how ludicrous that sounds coming from someone that abandons their fics for years at a time) but I go all-in when I read. 

Because my real life is a hot mess of activity and demands on my time, I read what other people recommend. My list of fics is ENORMOUS and there are so many of you who I haven’t read yet but, rest assured, I will get there! I love to read when I have the time! It’s a beautifulr reprieve from the stress of my real life responsibilities. Thank god for fic!