I like to think Kong would hold any of the Apes’ hand when they have to get a rotted or broken tooth pulled out by Trapper. Like
Ape: I feel dizzy and funny… what did the human doctor put in me?!?
Kong: That’s just medicine to numb the pain.
*Ape watches Trapped getting closer to his mouth *
Ape: I’m not sure I like this…
*Kong holds Ape’s hand*
Kong: It will hurt a little but you’ll be able to eat without mouth pain.
*Ape nods and lets Trapper into their mouth. Squeezing Kong’s hand the entire time*
Trapper: Good news, I got the tooth out! But bad news, I do have two more to yank out. Sorry big fella.
Ape: *scared face*
Trapper: BETTER NEWS! You get to have a treat after we're done! There you are, mate, you're handling it like a champ!
Kong: *translating all this for the Ape*
Ape: Oh... a treat sounds nice... nobody's called me a champ before!
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Indiana just launched a “snitch line” for people to report schools for teaching about LGBTQ issues, Black history, and other topics.
On Monday, the AG, Todd Rokita, launched this “Eyes on Eduction” portal where students, parents, and teachers alike can report… “objectionable curricula, policies, or programs affecting children.” While they hide behind the suggestion that this is to stop “political ideology - either left or right” from being forced on kids, we all know that this is really a tip line for parents to complain that someone told their kid gay people exist or slavery was a real thing that happened to Black people.
I’m not going to lie, despite this being from the office of the attorney general, I don’t think this is much more than a wall of shame functionally. The AG’s office looks at submissions, takes the credible ones, and publishes them on the portal for anyone to see. The PDFs of the so-called evidence also include names of teachers.
Anyway, unsurprisingly, people have been flooding the portal with junk submissions, as pointed out by the wonderful Erin Reed (@/ErinInTheMorn on Twitter) in her article on the portal:
A report that Godzilla was witnessed with a trans flag
Indiana Jones slapping a Nazi
A report of a famous picture of Trump next to Rudy Giuliani in drag
Multiple reports citing the Bible for teenage pregnancy
A confession purporting to be from Breaking Bad character Walter White
The script for the Bee Movie (classic)
The script to Oppenheimer
The script for Eurotrip, with a note not to tell Scotty
Young Sheldon saying “Bazinga”
So ALL OF THAT IS TO SAY. Here's another link to the portal. Whatever you do, don't add to the list above and flood the portal, making it nearly impossible for the poor AG's office to sort through all the submissions and find credible submissions! That would be sooo uncalled for.
Anyway, side note for you: if you're thinking to yourself, "damn, Todd Rokita, that name sounds awfully familiar," you may be thinking of the time in 2022 he said he was going to investigate Dr. Caitlin Bernard for providing an abortion procedure to a 10 year old girl who had fled Ohio to receive care because Ohio's abortion ban did not provide an exception for minor children who became pregnant as a result of rape. Ultimately, Indiana state courts found him to have violated the law and engaged in attorney misconduct due to his public statements on the situation. Yet, he is still AG. This guy has sucked as long as I can remember. He was Secretary of State of Indiana from 2002-2010, then he was a member of the US House of Representatives from Indiana's 4th district (which my hometown is unfortunately a part of) from 2011-2019, and has now been AG since 2021. For perspective, I was born in 1997--the year he joined the Secretary of State's office as general counsel, then later became deputy secretary of state. He's been doing his damndest to ruin this state as long as I've been alive.
Also, his birthday is Friday (February 9th) according to his wikipedia page. Definitely don't give him any birthday presents by way of the submission portal, okay? Good talk
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Best of the Reptiles in Media - 01 - Godzilla (Monsterverse)
I figure that while I'm using this blog, I might as well post my ramblings on a subject dear to my heart: That being the representation of reptiles as characters in media. And not just villainous or vile ones like we're so used to. I'm talking about ones that inspire me. The ones that are legitimately compelling to me. And these posts are an excuse to espouse why.
Plus, it's just fun. You can thank the likes of @tyrantisterror and @bogleech for inspiring me to do these.
So who better to start with than with the lizard who's been an inspiration to me for almost my entire life. That being the one known as Gojira. AKA...Godzilla.
This is the one character in these posts who probably needs no introduction. Ever since his debut in 1954, the walking embodiment of the horrors of nuclear war, among other things, has been nothing less than an icon. This is the beast people think about when they hear "giant monster" or "kaiju". This is truly the King of the Monsters.
My introduction to Godzilla was a children's book called "Godzilla on Monster Island". It was a fun read full of neat monsters living together and teaming up to stop an evil plan. And it left me wanting more. I wanted more stories of these fantastic yet friendly beasts being friends and living together while having fun adventures. Little me was a bit disappointed to find that Godzilla spent more time fighting his fellow kaiju and trashing cities instead.
The truth, as I would find out, was that Godzilla is never just one thing. He is a fun defender of the Earth. He's the terrifying consequences of our tampering with both nature and science. And in recent memory, he's been a lot of other things. But most of the time, he's either hero or mankind's hubris on two legs. To me, he was a giant dinosaur that could fire thermonuclear breath, and that was all that mattered. It was after hearing about the historical significance of him that my respect doubled.
Back then, I would tell you that my favorite Godzilla from a design standpoint was the 2002 version. Personality wise, almost every Showa appearance post-1964.
But in 2014, everything changed. In came a Goji that seemed to have everything I could ask for. So, we're going to look at the one that resonates with me the most. The Monsterverse version.
That right there is perhaps one of the most awe-inspiring entrances I've ever seen in a cinema.
Before the release of Godzilla (2014), the franchise had entered something of a slump period. The last film was all the way back in 2004, and sadly, the kaiju genre was still something of a niche thing growing up. Here in America, you either liked superheroes or real-life celebrities as a kid. If you liked monsters, let alone giant monsters, you were one of the weird kids. That, or one of the kids who never lost their passion for dinosaurs. But those were rare.
Then Gareth Edwards unleashed this film, and while one could argue that Pacific Rim (2013) got the ball rolling, THIS ultimately resurrected the entire franchise of the Big G, and got him a degree of general respect from most film-goers (so long as you ignore the irritating internet drama regarding screen-time back then).
But let's get to the meat of this post. Why is this Godzilla so much better to me than the rest? A few things, really.
First off, there's Godzilla's role in the Monsterverse's narrative. For the most part, he is a guardian of the natural order, a means of bringing balance to imbalance. He is a metaphor for how nature is capable of righting itself, and how we either have to deal with it, or live with the consequences. In practice, Godzilla ends up going up against almost every monster, most of which are only a threat because we awakened them/created them. Yet despite this, he doesn't go out of his way to destroy us. He's not mindlessly destructive or particularly vengeful either. He knows we're a part of the world too. We just tend to grate a bit more on his nerves because of how much we screw up. If there's one thing this series isn't afraid to show, it's that...well, "the arrogance of man is thinking nature is within our control, and not the other way around."
Design-wise, this is one of the best Godzilla's around. He's bulky, has a killer stare, and there's something oddly endearing about how...well, meaty he is. He's like if my aforementioned previous favorite design, the 2002 one, put on both a lot of muscle and weight. It also ties into his fighting style, said to have been inspired particularly by bears. Even the sounds associated with him are amazing. From that hype-inducing charge of his thermonuclear breath to what might be the best rendition of the classic roar.
Then there is the body language. This Godzilla's usual gait is slow, almost plodding at times. He shows clear signs of exhaustion in some scenes. What he goes through is hard, and his job is even harder, but he still does it. It really helps sell his personality most of the time.
Part of why I like the Monsterverse so much is that, for the most part, the kaiju are treated as characters in their own right (that's not to say they weren't in previous iterations, far from it, but it's a bit more pronounced here than most of the post-Showa stuff). Sure, some films in this verse are better about it than others (more on that later...), but I like how you can glean what Godzilla is thinking of just by looking at his eyes. Of particular note is how they widen in "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" when Ghidorah gains the upper hand during the final battle, his absolute sneer of anger in the first movie when the male MUTO approaches him, or...this.
This scene. This one right here encapsulates so much of what I love about this iteration. Where Godzilla, dazed and thoroughly battered by both the fight with the MUTOS and having a building fall right on him, locks eyes with a tiny little soldier. You see a sense of tiredness, of pain, of acknowledgement, and maybe even a little wonder. This is not just some mindless beast fighting for its turf. It's a thinking being. And he's hurt. The most powerful creature on the planet isn't invincible, neither on the outside and definitely not on the inside.
And you know what? I've been there. There are times where I feel like I'm carrying the weight of the world, that there are things too heavy to bear, and its suffocating. Godzilla constantly shows throughout the Monsterverse that his job as a living balancing act is wearing on him. He gets put through so. Much. Crap. From getting buildings dropped on him to being personally dropped from a distance above the clouds to watching his symbiotic partner/mate die, it's almost unfair how we're expected to not really sympathize with him as much as...I'll get to that later.
But he never gives up. Despite all the pain and fatigue, he gets back up, and he fights. And he fights. And he continues until the deed is done. Someone has to rise to the occasion, and it might as well be him. If not him, then who?
That is the biggest reason I resonate with this Godzilla. His awe-inspiring design is one thing, but he gave me the strength to persevere. I don't give up, because he never did. Never before had the Big G been such a hero to me. Such that in 2014 I found myself silently sobbing to myself when it seemed like he was dead near the end even though that was clearly not the case. It's hardly a surprise that I based my personal Godzilla AU on him, albeit with the moer sympathetic traits dialed up. Stuff like this made G14 and KOTM some of my favorite kaiju flicks...
...which made it more than a little disappointing when Wingard took the helm and basically said "screw that, this is about the monke now!" Yeah, GvK is the weakest entry in the series for me for a reason. Godzilla's more redeeming qualities are buried under a narrative that clearly is not interested in giving him the time of day or even the benefit of a doubt. Both it and it's successor, GxK, are Kong movies through and through, and that means poor Big G is put out of focus.
I cannot tell you how much I HATE this idea that the only way a monster can be relatable is if it either looks almost just like us or is really cute. Yes, I understand the universal appeal, but they had such a good thing going for Godzilla! And they throw almost all of it away just so that they can make Kong look better by comparison.
Credit where it's due, these issues are slightly improved in GxK. It's not only firmly established that Godzilla is an overall benefit to the world for keeping the other Titans in check, but we get some interesting bits with him like how he instantly responds and prepares to answer the call of the Iwi and help them. It shows that despite his tenuous relationship with humans, there are ones he clearly gives a lot of thought to. And there's also how he makes the Roman Coliseum his own personal bed. Not only is it kind of hilariously adorable, but if you remember how in KOTM he had his own man-made temple, you get the impression that he has a bit of homesickness. That's the kind of thing I like to see! More of that and less "he's only ever angry and he only ever fights, character is for primates only".
Also, while the Evolved design has nice details, I WANT THAT GUT BACK! it just looks weird otherwise with that disproportionately skinny waist.
But thankfully, our prayers might be answered:
With GxK's roaring success (ha!), it's more than likely that the next Monsterverse entry will finally give Godzilla an overdue character arc that doesn't begin and end with "destroy everyone and act big and scary and nothing else". Just please make sure that he doesn't have to die to get that. There are plenty of ways you can make us invest in the guy's story without having to kill him. I WANT to see more of that emotional vulnerability teased across the movies. I want to see him come to terms with how he's been going about his job. And more importantly...I want to see a more explicit Mothzilla scene. A nuzzle and everything. But that's just me.
Whatever the quality of his current status, nothing is taking away how much I love this version of Godzilla. He's taken me out of some very dark places, and for that, I say long live the king.
Also, he brought Mothzilla into the public sphere and every Mothzilla pic made since is the cutest thing ever, so I just love him even more.
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Kaiju Week in Review (August 27-September 2, 2023)
Godzilla Battle Line has cemented its reputation as the Super Smash Bros. of kaiju games by bringing in the GAMERA -Rebirth- incarnations of Gamera and Gyaos later this month. Gamera showing up in a Godzilla game is a huge deal—this is the first time the two have properly met outside of poorly-documented live performances. Even in City Shrouded in Shadow, they only appeared in separate levels. Given all the fantasy-match debates over the years, maybe it's for the best that they're coming to blows in a medium where either could emerge the victor.
Godzilla Rivals: Vs. SpaceGodzilla marks Matt Frank's triumphant return to the IDW Godzilla line (covers aside). It reminded me a lot of The Last Hope: the fall of an advanced civilization at the hands of kaiju, narrated but dialogue-free. As in Rulers of Earth, Frank draws a mean SpaceGodzilla - more personable than the one from the actual movie but just as much of a dick. Singura, his all-new rival, is a neat creation too, with more abilities than this concept art lets on.
Sometimes these Weeks in Review are outdated before I can post them. Behold the teaser for the trailer for Godzilla Minus One, both of which you have surely watched five times by now. I'm hoping to have an analysis post up shortly.
Godzilla Voxel Wars is a game headed for Steam in November 2023. A turned-based strategy game, it pits a host of Toho monsters against an alien race called the Fungoids (interesting, and perhaps accidental, synergy with IDW's Zoospora). Toho Games is developing it with Nukenin. I'm intrigued, mostly because this style of Godzilla game usually forces you to control the military, but the art style isn't the most appealing. They look like nanoblocks. It's also catching some flak for its similarities to Into the Breach.
Titanosaurus has long been one of the most coveted Movie Monster Series figures since his release in 2002, and he's finally getting another edition, alongside a Godzilla '75 (last seen as part of the Memorial Box in 2005).
JSDF plans for new anti-aircraft electronic warfare equipment had Japanese Twitter abuzz, on account of the vehicle looking for all the world like a Maser Cannon. I'm sure kaiju filmmakers will start looking for excuses to have them show up.
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