#happy ending but with intense anxiety side affects! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dontbotherwiththepronunciation · 4 months

Note

Are there other Theon ships you like?

EDIT: I am sorry for this lateness anon. I thought I had posted this back in September (around the time I was getting survey related asks) shortly after it was sent but I just found it on the queue while searching for something else. Sorry. It was very sweet of you to ask so I feel abad about not realising I didn't post it any sooner.

I have weird feelings regarding ships in this fandom so most of the time with "ship" I just mean "I want to see them interact in emotionally intense situations of conflict, affection and resentment" but here are the ones I could think of in which some sort of romance/attraction/affection is part of my preferred dynamic.

Theon/Jeyne (already explained it here. Basically it's just that I am really into circumstantial affection, codependency and the themes of accountability for past misdeeds and irredeemability vs redemption. I like it at best when it's not outright shippy but ambiguous and open to interpretation. I always recommend Girl On Ice (and I won't stop now) but also I honestly feel that Little Brother, although the focus is truly on Asha and her anxiety over her entire situation in the end of ADWD, has probably my favourite post-adwd dynamic for them and it's even more ambiguous in a very tongue-in-cheek manner that I appreciate.)

Jon/Theon (Similar feelings about circumstantial affection but without the same themes. Like the idea of the two unwelcomed somewhat unwilling members of Winterfell being some of the last remainings of it. Also prefer it as something ambiguous and open to interpretation but with slightly more antagonistic feelings between the two. I like Jon but he'll be ultimately relieved to know Theon actually just killed the Miller's boys and that is not necessarily a good thing for me (although I understand and won't blame him for that possible reaction). I admit to being picky because I disagree with some popular takes about Theon having bullied Jon or them hating each other and I also am very strongly against Stark romanticism which often appears in fics focused on them.)

Theon/Barbrey (Everyone thinks I said this as a joke but I actually mean it. Their conversation during the Turncloak chapter made me cry like a child when I first read it and I haven't been the same person ever since. It completely rewired the way I perceive things. I like relationships that grow not out of love but hatred and feelings of mutual hurt originating from similar issues. I like the idea that she might at some point be the one to fully take the Stark goggles off him. Also prefer it as ambiguous rather than straight up romantic. This is one of my favourite fics ever and it sometimes makes me cry. Canon divergent ADWD where she takes him away from Ramsay and Roose (also "Arya" gets saved anyway, don't worry))

Theon/Kyra (Prefer it as horror from Kyra's side but mixed with the possible former feelings of teenage love they might have had. They seemed emotionally close and I can imagine she might have felt more for him than he ever did for her. That's interesting for me given what happens later on during ACOK and that she still tries to save him from the Dreadfort. I like the idea that when he kissed her on the other side of the river she could only feel fear and indignation)

Theon/Patrek (one of the more wholesome ones here and to be honest it only started really interesting me once Patrek was used as a leverage against his father and they literally tied a noose around his neck. I like it a lot more than I express. I like to think that the anger Patrek might have felt towards Theon at that point was somewhat mitigated or that it will be mitigated now that he has been on a similar position. Preferred daydreams involve small one-night reunions when Theon finally gets to go to the Islands and has to stop at Seaguard where Patrek is. Strange type of meetings between people who were very happy and close during a brief time that was violently and abruptly cut get to reminiscence about a past they feel conflicted about. I like to think their relationship would be re-contextualised given Patrek has been used against his father now).

Theon/Baelor (Absolutely no canon foundation which is weird given I am who I am but I have such a desire for a gap filler where the two get to interact during Theon's time in ACOK and Theon is able to see this somewhat well-adjusted version of himself that has even turned into a figure of influence and just feels completely irritated and hateful by the situation.)

Theon/Falia (Been ruminating on this for a long time now and she could embody aspects of the Kyra to his Theon and he the Euron to her Falia so yes enjoy it a lot. Although I've only seen it written once and it was in a post-ados ambiguously hopeful fic. Really liked it. It was very sweet. However on a long term not I'd really like her becoming a strange type of second chance for what he had with Kyra and him a second chance for what she had with Euron. Horny on main ironborn comes to take the castle of the feudal lord whose lands you live in and takes you, a lowborn woman who seems rather willing, to live there for a while and sleep in the bed of said feudal lord. Things change suddenly and you find yourself physically and sexually abused by someone you trusted.)

Sexual relationships I do not ship but read anyway because of interesting dynamics

Theon/Ramsay (It has to be fully non-consensual, full horror and as canon-compliant as possible. If I see Theon referring to him as "master" I am out. Also I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that erotically written stuff triggers me so it's difficult. Implicit rape/non-con mixed with the horrors of depersonalisation and contradicting feelings about whether he deserves any of what happened to him or not are very welcomed though!)

Theon/Cersei (Talked about it here. People take it as comedic and I see why and it makes me laugh but it only caught my attention once I started thinking more seriously about it and I weirdly enough I can somewhat enjoy it as long as the characterisation isn't purely hedonistic-cringe-fail-milf-hunter. Something I think could be interesting is if the marriage were to take place after Theon had spent a significative amount of time at the Dreadfort but hadn't gone through a drastic change in appearance and thus was not visibly weakened and hurt. Anyway, go read Broken Cage! The Cersei POV voice is perfect.)

Open but not fully into it

Theon/Tris (theoretically I think I'd like it and it fits into themes I enjoy. Both of them at some point pursue(d) Asha due to misreading who she really is and are questioned in regards to whether they truly fit to Ironborn culture (they do!) by the same woman who looks down on them a little. So yeah could be cool! but until now what I've perceived of it is basically "Theon gets a wholesome boyfriend who is kind of wholesome in canon too and isn't romanticised by fandom so he doesn't fell ooc!" and that's very nice and makes me happy for him but it's not very interesting to me.)

Theon/Jory (There was this really good fanfic back in 2017 Russian fanfic website and it has sadly been lost to humanity but it was good.)

Theon/Brienne (Irl friend proposed it as a joke but pre-ramsay he fits her type as snarky, fashionable, mockish young man and it could be interesting because he would be a tremendous asshole and would probably emotionally scar her. That's all I have to say.)

Theon/Meera (Quite surprised at how no one has developed anything complex based on his not very-pure-thoughts back in ACOK and their connection to Bran. Could be interesting.)

#asoiaf #speaking #theon greyjoy

7 notes · View notes

prurientpuddlejumper · 2 years

Text

Soft

Laura Kearney x Travis Hackett

I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. ONE MINUTE I WAS LOOKING AT THIS LAURATRAVIS FANART AND THEN SUDDENLY I WAS WRITING?????

It’s just a fluffy little stream of consciousness about Laura and Travis snuggling. Please forgive mistakes, I’m posting without editing because this just burst unprompted out of my head

The first time Laura wakes up next to Travis Hackett, anxiety makes a fist around her stomach. Not because it’s horrible. Not because she regrets anything. But because everything is so wonderful, it feels like the moment will break.

Songbirds are whistling their morning chorus outside the window, with pale pink light slanting in on the gentle breeze. Travis’s arm is still wrapped around her waist, and he’s snoring softly, his breathing slow. The worry lines on his face relaxed, for once. None of his guarded, angry responses – the wall he’s built to keep anyone from hurting him. The wall he’s needed to survive six years of werewolves and protecting his family from their curse. No caustic wit Laura is slinging back to prove his big tough-guy show doesn’t scare her.

The man had been drowning, and the way he changed when shown affection made Laura’s heart melt in turn.

Still, the night before – finally giving in to each other’s feelings – had been an intense explosion of passion, driving need punctuated by taunts and battles for dominance. Sure, this time the end goal was seduction, but it paralleled their previous contentious relationship in basic structure. So much so that Laura, waking up next to a sweetly sleeping Travis in the soft morning light, wasn’t sure what to expect.

Their relationship had never been soft.

This felt… domestic.

And Laura loved it. She loved the warm weight of his presence at her side making the mattress sink in a little, tugging her body toward him like gravity. She loved that there were no more insults, no more wit, trying to one-up the other. No locked horns, however playfully.

The morning was peaceful. And she wondered how long it would last before that peace was shattered and they were back at each other’s throats. So she went still, kept her breathing steady, afraid that any slight movement would bring the worry lines back to his face.

But not for long.

Laura Kearney wasn’t cowed by fear. The tightening in her chest was just another challenge to overcome. And hell, if this moment was fleeing, she might as well take full advantage of it. So she rolled onto her side toward him, tucking her head under his chin where she could feel the warm rise and fall of his chest. It was carpeted with dark hair just over his pectoral muscles, which weren’t defined, but were strong and solid. A perfect plush surface for snuggling.

He stirred a little and made a hushed, pleased noise, but didn’t move except to readjust his hand on her waist, pulling her closer.

She slipped her arm beneath his, curling it over his back, and draped a leg over his leg, until they were fully intertwined. Then she just breathed. Her breath mingled with his, in and out, together, and with each breath the fist in her stomach eased, uncurling its fingers one by one until she was nothing but calm and free and his, floating in his arms.

It helped that she could tell, with each breath, that he was waking up. His breaths changing, becoming deeper and more conscious, but he was making no move to get up. Only the thumb of the hand on Laura’s waist began to shift, slowly, back and forth over her skin.

She nuzzled deeper into his chest, pulling at his back, as if it could make the entire world disappear. Make the past disappear. As if they could stay sleeping like that forever, perfectly happy.

His lips pressed together on her hair. Awake.

“’Morning,” he whispered. There was nothing rushed in his voice.

They were not soft people, Laura and Travis. They both kept their emotions under wraps so they could make the hard choices… whatever they had to do to protect those they loved. They had both killed. Both hurt each other. Protected each other. Suffered loss. Survived.

They were survivors.

Softness was not their natural state.

A bird sang a few silvery notes just outside the window, then finished his concerto with a jarring metallic buzz. Laura kissed Travis’s chest, smiling against the salty taste. Her heart fluttered at the way his breath hitched when she did. His thumb continued swirling over her bare skin.

But maybe… maybe they could be soft with each other. Maybe it was what they both needed, and wanted – more moments like these.

“Good morning,” Laura replied, and she thought, it really is good, isn’t it? She was content, for once, and nothing was going to take that away.

#travis hackett #travislaura #travis hackett x laura kearney #my writing

92 notes · View notes

elisfalling · 2 months

Note

hi i've been sobbing about the opportunity rover tonight so i'm here to infodump

SO opportunity and laika are in a game a friend was running set like 100-ish years in earths future. established lunar bases and working to expand ever further and whatnot. i ran off the idea that (in my heart) humanity would absolutely retrieve the opportunity rover and place her in a shiny new body and awaken her to welcome her home if they could, and my friend aimed for the idea of having somehow captured the "church grim" of laika's soul and giving her a new humanoid body to both apologise for the atrocities committed to her and to give her a chance to live a happy life as she chooses. both of them, by coincidence or fate, your choice, volunteered themselves to be part of the next plan of space exploration - helping establish a living colony on mars. and by design, they ended up assigned to the same team and made INSTANT fast friends. they're entirely inseparable, neither quite have the words for it but both have horrifying anxiety about being alone, isolated, away from all others for even A Single Second so they quite literally never leave each others side. laika is ENTHUSIASTICALLY prone to including herself in anything oppy gets into, and oppy is content with it, both due to lacking in knowing that that is "improper etiquette" to let someone invite themselves to a thing you're doing, and knowing that she would've invited laika anyways. up until like a month ago i had assumed they would just be extremely close friends / they Couldnt date since opportunity is a robot and, well. no lips. cant kiss 😔. but my friend approached me with galaxy brain thoughts and pointed out laika, as a shifter, tends to wear a sort of metal cage muzzle anyways, so both could communicate their version of a kiss with a little headbutt/forehead touch (the intensity has to be moderated by the fact of one of them is All Metal, but the more Love Aggression in the moment i imagine the more intense the headbutts and general increase of physical contact/cuddles there are). thus came to light: Possible Space Girlfriends.

i've stopped crying and its very late where i am so im going to bed but i shall return with more for you soon <3 thank you for listening btw i have very few friends willing to let me infodump about characters and its nice

Hi oh my gosh I can’t explain how happy I was to see you in my inbox again!!

This is such a creative and adorable story and characters, truly just darling! 🥹🥰 I love them so much already!! I seriously can’t get over how heartwarming and just freaking lovely this is!! And the way they show affection, how cute!!!

Broke my heart with the part about how they get horribly anxious being apart from each other, isolated, alone. Like they are in space 😫 I want to hear more about them, please! Tell me they are happy together!

Seriously please come infodump about characters anytime you’d like! It makes me so happy every single time! Okay my turn to go sob over the opportunity rover. ✨

#little rover finding life #asks #ref when sad

2 notes · View notes

mbti-notes · 2 years

Text

Anon wrote: hello! i really appreciate your work and it's helping me a lot. i think i'm an infj (i can't be sure yet but i'm 100% sure about having an inferior Se). this is a bit long but i came here with the hope that you can help me.

i was emotionally and verbally abused by one of my parents for about one year. the other one was supportive of me through it all but yeah it damaged me in a lot of ways anyway. before the abuse started, i went through a break up. i didn't love the person but it broke my heart to hurt someone else's. instead of crying i went to exercise to physically exert all the intensity i was feeling.

after the abuse started though, i got uncharacteristically defiant and really stood up for my beliefs unlike anytime before (probably never before). it's like i had been suppressing so much all my life, something inside of me just finally snapped. i ended up giving into the intensity and it made me feel incredibly drained afterwards but back then i just couldn't stop responding even though i didn't want to.

i just wanted to feel "in control" of my life. and not in the ways you would expect reckless teenagers to- in the way that i needed my own structure and didn't want someone else to micromanage me (constantly taunt me despite me doing everything right or at least in a way i knew would make everyone happy). they weren't emotionally consistent and often forced very contradicting advice. they controlled the environment in a way that made me feel like "all doors are closed." that mislead and confused me often.

for the context, this parent had been away for most of our lives and only when they came back did i see the abusive side of them. they had also abused the other parent in the past till they got su1c1dal and till this day mock them for getting treatment.

i slowly got tired of everything. i stopped giving attention to any unnecessary and illogical criticism thrown at me but also not act like i'm ignoring it + stopped telling them why they were being illogical and selfish. they stopped paying attention to me as well and that gave me more space to go back to my natural agreeable self but unlike my normal self now i had lost my inner vision (that used to drive me) and had trouble with responsibilities.

through this though, there was a constant confusion and even though i started "seeming" like my natural self i still felt a whole tornado of confusion relating to who i was inside of me. during the time it was happening, i wasn't feeling like myself, i felt so hyperactive it was insane. i couldn't sit and focus on studying for more than 20 minutes at a time at first. it was like an out of body experience.

keeping the abuse aside and looking at how it was affecting me: i ended up with highly unrealistic dreams. the only thing i saw myself channeling my energy included sensory indulgence (in my case physical exertion, despite not taking care of needs like good sleep, remembering to stay hydrated etc.) so i felt like i couldn't study and maybe i should just do a career that included it. wrong move, obviously.

after the abuse stopped: as i slowly started making friends, started asking myself important questions like "what are my values?" "how will my future career support my values?" "what exactly am i going to do with the hobby (that was my escape during tough times) that i want to turn into a career?" i realised that i wasn't on my path. my future career WOULD NOT make me or my loved ones happy so i changed my path back to my original path. the path that i was always going to follow before any of the bs happened, before that parent happened.

fast forward to my problem: one of my friends that i made after the abuse stopped was helping me with my anxieties by talking it out and stuff. i never told them anything about what happened, we only talked about my anxiety relating to the future. i had trouble getting stuff now unlike when none of this had happened and talking it out with them always put me at ease which helped me focus and calm down UNTIL i started getting burdening. it's like i started venting about things that didn't actually matter to me so i could avoid talking about the actual issue but at the same time let out the heat.

i mean mental/emotional health troubles can't exactly be solved like this right? i did the famous infj door slam on them (not that i wanted to but i couldn't bear the thought of burdening someone else with my issues and in that moment i was so unhealthily attached i couldn't stop myself so i just had to do it, i wanted my sense of independence back). my friendships had never been codependent before. this was new and surprising and deeply i'm ashamed of it.

right now, i'm supposed to be focusing on my dreams till i have the opportunity in front of me but i feel like i'm trapped. i got back into overindulging (this time through binging on food and netflix and sometimes i go on an hour walks while listening to music- maybe the latter is harmless though). so yeah, i keep distracting and fooling myself. i'm no more inspired like i was when i had my friend (or when i was younger and none of this had happened and i had my own vision to run after) but i didn't know this would happen if i left them. could i really depend on someone else to keep me inspired?

i just don't know what to do anymore. i've got much lesser time but i still want to do something but i got stuck in my old unhealthy ways of dealing with things again. the supportive parent (they're an istj) keeps trying to ground me and remind me to work hard but i'm not able to bring myself to do it. i see the potential in the opportunity but everything "feels" hopeless. not fulfilling their expectations hurts me as well + they were my dreams to begin with, which they treat like their own 🥺 i feel tired of my own self.

it feels like an out of body experience again but i don't want to miss this opportunity. i have a friend to go back to and this time as a friend not a whining broken child, a parent to make proud. i just want to be my normal self again and i want to meet my potential. i know i can do it i just don't know how to get myself out of this, whatever this is.

**********************

Abuse is not nothing. It's extremely stressful to be actively treated as though you don't matter. One does not simply "get over" such trauma at the snap of a finger. Cut yourself some slack. Have compassion for yourself in the same way you would have compassion for anyone being bullied or abused, especially a child with no power to change the situation.

It is well-documented that when people are under extreme stress, their brains lose the ability to function well, which means they lose the ability to make truly rational decisions. On top of that, the pent up negative emotions (like frustration, despair, anger) have to go somewhere. Through tertiary loop and inferior grip, they manifest in highly distorted thinking patterns and out-of-control behavior.

This isn't to say that you aren't morally responsible for behaving badly - stress isn't a license/excuse to behave badly. It is to say that bad behavior is sometimes very understandable. Context matters. Through understanding where bad behavior comes from, the root of it, you can look at yourself and others with empathy. Instead of judging and blaming, you can use the experience to grow, and you can properly address the problems that led to the bad behavior.

In order to move on from bad experiences, you have to find a way to resolve them in your mind, to find some kind of closure. Many people say closure isn't possible because you can't change the past, but closure isn't about changing, ignoring, denying, running from, or resenting the past. As long as you still have very strong feelings and emotions about the past that haven't been properly processed, it's hard to move on.

Generally speaking, to achieve closure, you have to:

confront and process your feelings/emotions honestly (therapy may be a good idea)

address any long-running problems that caused or contributed to the bad experience

put the past in the right perspective that allows you to gracefully accept what happened

make a conscious choice to close the chapter and look forward to something better, with fresh eyes and an open heart

accept the fact that obtaining closure is often an ongoing process (and not some sudden epiphany that magically frees you from all pain)

As long as you're able to embrace your past as important experiences that contributed to your growth as an individual, negative memories can be laid to rest. You don't want to feel dogged by bad memories forever, right? Perhaps you haven't recovered or healed properly because you haven't properly addressed the past.

-Have you been able to make peace with the experience of being a victim? Do you understand that it was never your fault and you didn't deserve it? Do you understand that the abuse ultimately wasn't about you but actually a manifestation of the abuser's psychological problems? Do you understand that when something isn't about you, the best thing to do is step back, avoid taking it too personally, and view the entire situation more objectively?

-Have you made peace with the friend you doorslammed? Did you make amends or atone for your negative/hurtful behavior? Whether or not you can revive the friendship, it seems you at least owe your friend some honest reflection on what happened between you? If they are truly a friend, they should be able to understand and empathize. They should want to lay hard feelings to rest as well.

-Are you doing enough to honor yourself and your needs? If not, you won't feel at peace. If you want to live a meaningful and fulfilling life, you have to build your life from the ground up properly. The first step is to care well for your physical and mental health. Are you doing what it takes to get this foundation of yours in order, so that you can then build the house you truly want to build for yourself? When you don't take care of yourself, you won't have the right frame of mind to make good decisions, and you won't have the energy to walk very far.

-Do you have something to aspire to? It's hard to get moving in life without some kind of goal to work toward, something to look forward to every day. It doesn't have to be a "grand" plan. Start with a series of small steps, like establishing a better physical routine or improving certain skills. Work your way up to bigger steps as your recovery progresses and you have more energy for bigger goals. Make incremental progress in life to gradually build self-esteem and self-confidence.

#infj #abuse #trauma #recovery #healing #past #closure #stress #loop #grip #ask

12 notes · View notes

alyjojo · 1 year

Text

Career & Money 🧾 For 2023 - Virgo

Overall energy: 2 Swords

Current Job: Wheel of Fortune

Challenges: 6 Cups, Ace of Pentacles & 4 Cups

Potential: Page of Pentacles

Outcome: The High Priestess

Advice: 9 Swords

Oracles:

48 - Play

Our work can and should take on the quality of play, for it is play that stimulates creativity.

79 - Success

Enjoying your life and the unfolding of your creative abilities as much as possible is real success.

8 - Explore

Trust your imagination to help you journey through your inner landscape to find what you seek.

Saturn being in Pisces is probably going to affect you intensely, and this reading is no surprise to me. Or you, intuitively. Pisces energy is not your arena, it’s not something you’re comfortable with, though it does balance you, it also repels you. Things like spirituality/religion, creativity (with no control or monetary value), dreams, luck, sacrifice, sympathy/empathy, intuition as a daily thing…these things are not “practical” or “useful” to you, an earth sign that is focused on details, what is REAL, tangible, and achievable, as your standards for success. Not all of you, just generally for Virgo itself as a sign. Money, study & work, materialism, things you can see, real things you can “fix”, perfect, control, or improve, facts/figures/schedules, you’re comfortable here. When it comes to Pisces energy, that’s all thrown out the window and you’re left with…their energy, which you do not know how to use, so it shows up in you as massive anxiety. Other people that use this energy incorrectly may be “disciplined” in some way, those that use it correctly will be rewarded, that’s Saturn. YOU specifically are encouraged to work with it, and your oracle cards nudge you in that way. You don’t need a practical reason to get creative, and Play talks about literal writing, which is something Virgos are often amazing at. Let your imagination run wild, you’re in a time period of shifts in probably several ways, including career. Ok enough rambling. Hopefully Virgo likes to read too 😆

2 Swords, you just don’t know. You’re trying to get clear, you want SOLID information, you could feel like you’re hurting your chances of success by holding off. You’re not 💯 Some of you are students, and some will be deciding to switch careers altogether, maybe going back to school or getting some kind of training with Page of Pentacles. Your potential is training, studying, writing would apply here too, putting in resumes, this card is studious and represents contracts, documents, agreements. Some of you may be moving somewhere that makes you happier, some are chasing a dream, writing a book, deciding they don’t want to be a nurse anymore they’d rather sell cars, it makes more money. How that plays out for everyone will be different. You want SOLID information, but nothing here is solid, and there is no one right way. What do you want? What you end up doing depends on that.

Where you are currently, Wheel of Fortune. Things outside of your control are changing, everything is shifting, nothing is solid. Your advice shows you freaking out about that. You know you’re at a new beginning, and you know you have to “plan” to take a new path or go in a new way, maybe outside of your current direction or your area of typical expertise. Temperance shows you’re being patient, waiting for information and clarity. You know you will but right now, you’re not, because you have no idea what that actually is, 2 Swords. The Fool shows what’s required eventually is you taking a leap of faith, not knowing what’s on the other side, and you’re over here like “we don’t leap, and what is faith? I will leap with a full contract of expectations, a payment plan, and a parachute wtf, leap.”

Your challenge is a full review of your past experiences where your career is concerned. Have you ever been happy? Have you ever made enough for your efforts? Have you slaved for people that could give af, ultimately wasting your time? Justice mirrors this Queen of Swords energy, you will realize what needs to go in order to succeed, but it’s a challenge that requires focused thought, and some of these may be painful realizations. This also shows health issues being treated or overcome, with 6 Wands attached, or possibly health insurance being your main practical reason for feeling so apathetic and irritated with whatever you’ve got currently. You want and deserve better than that. Or, it’s the only thing that’s great, and that’s why you stay. If that’s the case, your health depends upon this job, then you’re definitely who’s being addressed to head in more of a creative direction, not even for money, just because. If you’re good enough at something, money is always possible & you never know. You don’t have to quit your day job to start being creative. Wheel of Fortune upright shows up twice, you have success, with your challenges, you also have good luck, positive karma, and destiny on your side. A lot of this is faith. It’s like you’re being told “you don’t have to have every box checked, it’s going to be okay”. Spirit has your back.

By the end of the year you have The High Priestess, probably no change on the outside, but a lot is going on inside. You know you have to move away from the past, conflicts, stress, worry, and you know things are changing in your world. By then you’ll have a better idea of what you want, because this is a year for being stuck in your head and waiting out changes happening beyond your control. Shifting circumstances causing periodic panics. Hanged Man. You’re there, so long as you don’t know what you want. No one is going to tell you what to do, not even a tarot reader, or Spirit. What do you want? Your advice is 9 Swords, and 9 Swords rev. This, along with other energies here, is a release of control. You have none, not really. Stop worrying about what other people do, expect, think or say, stop engaging in conflicts, competition, keeping up with the Joneses or materialism, and don’t worry about what people think of you or what you decide to do. And don’t do it to them, no one else cares either, everyone has totally different dreams, traumas, health issues, bank accounts and priorities. They aren’t you. You aren’t them. Control is moot, you can only control how you feel, your actions, your dreams and priorities, your life. But also, no one controls you either 💯 Every person that’s ever done anything at any time has faced someone negative that was like “well, that’s stupid” and they went and did it anyway. Do it for that reason. There’s a whole group of people that will hate it, and several more that will LOVE it. The advice is healing this in yourself, 9 Swords rev, stop worrying, PLAY, have faith 💯 and apply some of this anxious energy to studying and working on some kind of dream of yours, maybe one you’ve always had. Keep it quiet if you want to, The High Priestess says nothing, but she also knows what it is. You won’t be in 2 Swords forever 🙏

#virgo tarot reading #career & money #2023 #yearly reading #Virgo #tarot #astrology #tarotblr

3 notes · View notes

riding-with-the-wild-hunt · 2 years

Note

Do you have any headcanons about the kidnap fam, especially Mae’s interactions with the twins and mags, and how his trauma affects them? Thx :)

my dear new friend. of course. what else would approximately 68.3% of my brain space be devoted to?

i think maedhros was a gentle parent, the let me do that for you. are you sure? wear a jacket. don't be frightened. you need to eat one out of the pair. as he became more vicious towards his enemies post-angband, so he became proportionately--perhaps even disproportionately--gentler with anyone under his care. he fastidiously keeps his own pain and trauma and fear as far away from elrond and elros as he possibly can. he's always afraid of damaging them the way he's been damaged, a fear that he channels into protection, so he's very much the watchdog of the family unit. when e&e are younger, i think that they read this as inaccessibility or coldness, and there's some resentment there, especially given that they don't know very much about maedhros's reasoning and the motivation behind his actions. i really don't imagine maglor and maedhros having a good relationship at this point, and i think, to some degree, maglor actually encourages this thought process in the twins, or at least doesn't actively discourage it. i think maedhros also feels a lot more guilt about the whole kidnapping-and-home-destruction thing than maglor does, or is just better at processing it, which motivates his protectiveness and desire to be a good parent. there's a piece of him that's trying to make the twins his own little restitution project--that if he does a good job, he'll be able to balance out his other actions.

i think maglor was an intense parent, always fluctuating between extremes. when he's in a stable, happy mood, i honestly think he would be wonderful to e&e, much more like an older sibling than a parent. he plays with them, gives them gifts, really showers them with love and affection in the effusive way that maedhros wasn't quite able to do. he's fun and silly and caring and seems to know everything, which is awesome when you're eight and want to know what bugs eat or why fire is warm. but on the flipside, i think he could have long periods of despondency and anxiety where he was barely able to look after himself, much less care for the twins, or intense energy, which would manifest in anger and recklessness. honestly, i think at some points, a lot of maedhros’s fears for the twins’ safety would be precipitated by maglor’s behavior towards them (he would put them in dangerous situations, involve them in arguments as pawns to make maedhros feel guilty, or be materially and emotionally neglectful). maglor was deeply unpredictable and when he lashed out, he lashed out hard. he could be threatening, manipulative, and hurtful, and his struggles with accountability often prevented him from really apologizing or even talking about it. elros, i think, was a lot closer to maglor and would often take his side, even as an adult, portraying him as a wholly good and caring parent and accusing elrond of exaggerating his faults to make maedhros look better and maedhros of being biased.

e&e, especially as teenagers, i think, felt a lot of frustration and impatience with m&m’s shared unwillingness to have upfront conversations about difficult topics. maglor and maedhros would have discussions (on good days) and rows (on bad days) about these things in front of e&e, but they were often exceedingly vague and truncated. elrond and maedhros talked a few times about maedhros’s past towards the end of their time together, and maglor definitely told elros a lot more than he let on to mae he had, but they never really talked things over, leaving elrond and elros to come to their own, often incorrect conclusions, or find out later.

during the kidnap-fam era, i think, as i’ve mentioned before, that m&m’s relationship was really deteriorating. depending on how well maglor was doing, maedhros often had to play parent to him as well as to the twins. this generated a lot of bitterness between the two of them, as maedhros was frustrated by what he saw as maglor’s incessant need for melodrama and attention and maglor felt that maedhros didn’t care about their family and their relationship as much as he should. to get some kind of emotional rise out of maedhros, maglor would often turn to provocation or manipulation--he would start arguments, threaten to hurt himself unless maedhros did something he wanted, use the twins as a guilt-tripping device, or be sexually perturbing. maedhros would rise to the bait, whatever it was, then berate himself for being amoral. most of the time, m&m were caught in a feedback loop of masochism and self-hatred that looks something like this:

provocation from maglor → violence from maedhros → inappropriate reaction from maglor → maedhros feeling he’s the root problem because of Internalized Issues™️ → maedhros withdraws → maglor gets lonelier → provocation from maglor

and so on. they’re both terribly unhappy most of the time. :)

anyways, thank you so much for asking! i treasure you with all my heart ❤❤❤

#call and response #the professor's world #brought to you by me #the silmarillion #kidnap fam #communally hiding how effed up you are so your kids can have a good childhood #we have children not time to unpack that

16 notes · View notes

zevlors-tail · 2 years

Text

I've been debating posting this, but since I've only ever heard horror stories about starting new medication, I think It's actually that much more important for me to share my experience even if it's just here.

I got put on two different medications for mental health the last time I went to the doctor, which was quite recently- 12 days ago, actually. This is the first time I've ever been ON medication for mental health and also the first time I've had to take meds every day for an extended period of time.

But here are just SOME positive things I've noticed within the first week and a half I've been on them:

-I am no longer having emotional whiplash or intense bouts of emotions

-I sleep a lot better

-On that note, a really odd side effect I've had is that I can actually dream and remember my dreams (I very rarely dreamed at all/remembered my dreams at all before now)

-My anxiety has been much more manageable

-Bad days are just that: bad days. They're no longer the end of the world to me

-I actually feel happy

-I'm not having obsessive thoughts

-I've been much kinder to myself

-I can focus on playing a game or watching a movie

-I actually ENJOY doing things again

-People have become much more tolerable for me; I got irritated and annoyed by them constantly before I started my meds and now they don't bother me so much

-I genuinely enjoy just spending time with friends

-I feel hopeful again!

But do you want to know the best part? Most of this was instant. That very first day, when I took my meds for the first time, it was like someone hit a reset switch in my brain. Things started functioning like they should have. The world started turning for me again.

I always hear people sharing their awful experiences and while it's true that you can have adverse reactions to medication, it's not always the case. I waited SO long to ask for help because I was scared and because everyone else told me how awful it was. But it's been the exact opposite for me. I feel like a functioning person again. And if I had known that from the start, I don't think I would have waited so long to get help.

As far as negative side effects, there's only really two that have affected me:

-Loss of appetite

-Very low libido/sex drive

Which, to be fair, I'm actually asexual so like- that doesn't even bother me. But I just think it's important to know that yes, it really does affect that.

As far as the other side effect goes, actually I think it's less of a loss of appetite and more that I'm not anxiously eating anymore. This is a little personal, but I was what you would call an "anxious eater", or someone who eats to deal with anxiety. I used food to distract myself from my issues and to feel better. I'm not doing that so much now.

Life has done a whole 180 for me recently because I finally decided I was worth feeling peace and joy again. Actually, life feels worth living again in general. :)

#tw medication #sweater's adventures

3 notes · View notes

madamlaydebug · 6 months

Text

Did you know that over 18% of Americans suffer from anxiety disorders? That’s over 40 million people! The percentage increases to over 25% in teenagers. And the number of people affected rises to over 284 million worldwide.

Anxiety and stress can lead to a range of health issues and related mental illnesses. It is essential to address anxiety when it occurs, to prevent escalation, side effects, and long term impact. But while Western medicine is focused on clinical diagnosis and pharmaceutical intervention, there are many simple ways to reduce anxiety and stress, and benefit from related positive health outcomes.

What are the dangers of suffering from chronic stress and anxiety? Let's find out!

Chronic fatigue

Ulcers

Panic attacks

Heart disease

Respiratory disorders

Irritable Bowel Syndrome

Migraines

Chronic diseases

Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease

The long term impact of anxiety can be severe, so it is essential to treat anxiety early and often to prevent and reduce the risk of serious side effects. Follow these 5 simple tips to manage stress and anxiety:

1) Take Some Time For Yourself. Modern life is so busy, and sometimes we just need to slow down and chill out. Taking some time for yourself to relax and disconnect from the world is important to manage chronic stress and anxiety. At the end of the day, relax and enjoy your favorite activities, like spending time with your loved ones, or enjoying a cup of Dr. Sebi's Stress Relief Herbal Tea.

2) Make Time For What Makes You Happy. Life doesn't have to be all work and no play! Set aside time for things you enjoy. Try to do something every day that makes you feel good, and it will help relieve your stress. It doesn’t have to be a ton of time -- even 15 to 20 minutes will do.

3) Exercise. Working out regularly is one of the best ways to relax your body and mind. It doesn't have to be strenuous exercise, but taking a walk after meals or stretching before bed can tremendously improve your mood. Check this video to find out more benefits of stretching.

4) Eat Healthily. Stress can take a toll on your body’s natural defenses, but eating the right foods can offer relief. It's normal to feel wrung out sometimes by the stress of daily life and, unfortunately, we tend to reach for junk food, but high-calorie or sugary foods only trick us into thinking we feel better. Eating healthy food-and making that a conscious choice-can actually offer some real stress relief. Follow Dr. Sebi's Nutritional Guide and hydrate properly to make sure you're providing your body with the best tools to manage anything that comes your way!

5) Deep Breathing. Breathing is such a normal bodily function that most people take it for granted. However, stress can make people fall into a harmful cycle of breathing and anxiety. Anxious people are generally taking short, shallow breaths at increasing frequency. While this is a symptom of anxiety, it is actually also a cause and further perpetuates the feeling of anxiousness. Anxiety leads to shallow breathing, which leads to more anxiety, which leads to shallower breathing, and so on. As you can imagine, everyone agrees that it is essential to build good breathing habits and here are some of the key health benefits of deep breathing that have been discovered:

Lowers harmful effects of cortisol

Lowers your heart rate

Calming impact on the brain

Regulates blood pressure

Reduces lactic acid build-up

Improves core muscle stability

Increases the volume of oxygen received by the body

Boosts the immune system

Improves energy metabolism

Allows improved healing capabilities

Results in more organized electrical patterns in the brain

Positively impacts memory

Improves intense exercise capabilities

Whatever you choose to do, remember that managing chronic stress and anxiety is as important for good health as any other measure you take!

1 note · View note

malinosh · 10 months

Text

youtube

Weary Traveler

Note: This may seem a bit scattered and sporadic. I’m trying to organize my thoughts.

Just when I think I can’t become closer to God, I gave birth to my son. I am a dentist and understand the science, but it is simply unbelievable that a healthy, tiny, perfect human came from my body. And I am so grateful that I can sustain his life until he is able to begin eating foods. I thank God every day for my husband and son. Motherhood is truly a miraculous and beautiful journey, no matter how she gave birth or how baby is eating. That’s not to say I’m not tired, though.

We are recent practice owners as of Apr 2022, my father was diagnosed with ALS Nov 2022, and I gave birth Mar 2023, on top of trying to be there for my family and multiple friends with family issues or hard times of their own. Being a new and good mom, wife, daughter, sister, business owner, friend - whew, I’m doing it (I think), but it is exhausting. I may wear my emotions on my sleeve, but I don’t voice my emotions all that often because I try to be the strong one and I don’t want others feeling bad for me. But here I am, pen to paper so-to-speak, organizing my thoughts and getting out my feelings. Tired is a bit of an understatement.

I have witnessed ALS turn our family upside down and inside out. This is a devastating disease. I may not have the diagnosis, but it still affects us as well. Originally, I was pregnant when we found out my dad’s diagnosis. I won’t forget exactly where I was and what I was doing when my mom called and explained the terrible news. After thinking on it, I asked first thing if it was genetic and if my unborn child had a chance of getting it also. It is a sporadic type, so thankfully the answer is no. Then, there is the constant reminder of my family’s situation as every other patient I see asks how my Dad is doing out of love and kindness. Some know, others had not yet heard. I cannot be breaking down every time I answer, and this is where I believe dissociation has come into play for me.

I heard this song on the radio as I pulled into our garage at home - which the door broke this morning (yay, another thing). I placed the car in park, sang along, and just found it so appropriate. Many friends and family of mine have leaned on this song in recent years, and for the first time today it has touched me, too. As a side note, we sang this song in church in the past ~year, and I miss it dearly and look forward to getting back on stage with the crew.

As I was nearing the end of pregnancy, I was concerned I would end up with postpartum depression with all these other factors going on in my life. I kept a close eye on things and did not end up getting diagnosed with postpartum depression or anxiety, although my midwife recommended I see a postpartum therapist to help with the flood of emotions. I know about all the feels and emotions after birth, but it was incredibly intense and I did not expect it to that degree. I would look at my son’s face and just cry from awe and hope for his future.

My personality is a people pleaser. Unfortunately, I will never learn my lesson and this is maybe a toxic trait, but I always try to make everyone else happy. At times, I’ve felt like an empath but not to the extent of which I’ve read. My therapist had mentioned these are close cousins, which makes sense to me. But as I listened and sang, it made me think - of all the negative people we deal with in a service industry right now, most often there are other things going on in their lives which we are unaware and then we are the cherry on top. I’m not saying rudeness is ever acceptable behavior, but that maybe outbursts are not typically directed at us and we just unfortunately happen to be more bad news and in the line of fire.

As I look in my son’s eyes (he should be napping, but is wide awake and staring at me), I think, can I be better? I’m trying to eat healthy for both of us, exercise, and am still tracking everything. But mentally? Is this affecting him without me realizing it? Every night I pray over him while he is cuddled up on my shoulder before bed. I will keep giving my all and raising him to be a good man to the best of my ability. A favorite guided meditation I’ve done reminds us that stress is not what is happening in the world, but our reactions to those happenings. This song reminds me once again of others as well. Whatever you may have going on in life, just hold on. Weary traveler, you won’t be weary long. 💙

#Youtube

0 notes

christowhore · 3 years

Text

Redeeming Myself

pairing: chris evans x professor!fem!reader

summary: after breaking your heart and losing your trust, chris makes it his mission to prove to you how much you mean to him.

word count: 6.3k

warnings: age gap (reader is 29, chris is 40), angst, reminiscing on past actions, fluff, talks with therapist, chris makes up for bad behavior, slight alcohol consumption, smut, happy endings, rpf !!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!!

notes: the final installment of Pining for Professor. it was only supposed to be a one shot, but i got inspired and expanded it. it took a while cause writers block, but it’s here. for anyone who has read the series, thank you and hope you enjoy ! 💓🥰

i do not allow the reposting, rewriting or translating of my fics. these are works of my own and i do not give permission for any of the acts stated above.

join my taglist !

SERIES MASTERLIST • MAIN MASTERLIST

For a month and a half following that afternoon, Chris began to go above and beyond to mend his mistakes in an effort to regain your trust.

He knew that he shouldn’t have been forgiven for the hurtful words he hurled at you, the voice he raised, and his cold demeanor through it all. But you forgave him nonetheless, which he was eternally grateful for.

Chris suspected that his venom-laced words still took a toll on your overall being. He sensed it in the way your usual humming was kept to a minimum, as did your soft caresses to his body. The fun facts that you would randomly blurt out had basically become nonexistent.

You hadn’t tried initiating sex with Chris due to still being affected by his actions, which was understandable to the brunette.

He could tell you were being cautious around him, which broke his heart more than he could’ve imagined.

The two of you never really talked in depth about what happened, deciding to push it under the rug and move past it. But ignoring the elephant in the room could only last for so long.

That morning was no different. He had spent the night at your place and decided to wake up and make you breakfast in an effort to mend the faltering relationship.

You woke up to an empty bed, something that you were used to since Chris had always been an early riser. Getting your morning routine out the way, you made your descent downstairs with the smell of pesto guiding you down the steps.

Walking into the kitchen, you saw the sight of your topless boyfriend, donning only a pair of boxers and an apron. You watched as he studiously focused on the skillet in front of him. His intense focus and the sounds of eggs frying in the pan made him oblivious to your arrival.

It wasn’t until you made your way towards the fridge next to him, that he registered your presence. “Morning princess, you sleep well.”

“Yeah, I slept fine,” your voice still a bit gravely from your slumber. You poured yourself a glass of orange juice, ignoring the intense gaze from Chris in your peripheral vision.

He was so used to having you touch him in the mornings. Not so much in a sexual way, but more intimately. The way your lips would ghost against his shoulder blade, your palms would hold his sides and pull him against you so that way you could bask in his warmth. Your arms would wrap around his front until your fingers absentmindedly toyed with his lower abdomen, playing with the wisps of hair on his happy trail.

He missed when you would move your lips until they met the space behind his ears, giving light open mouth kisses. The sound of you whispering ‘Morning daddy’ would leave him awestruck. Even though the words were a regular occurrence for him to hear, it was the way you would say it in your morning voice that made it ten times more special.

Though those actions might seem minuscule to others, they meant the world to him and it was killing him that he hadn’t been able to experience such tender moments with you in a while.

“I’m making breakfast- pesto eggs and some bacon for you. It’ll be done in a minute.”

You nodded along before heading to the table, phone in hand while catching up on your morning news.

It didn’t take long before a steaming plate was placed in front of you, the scent of garlic and basil already making you salivate.

Chris sat besides you and watched as you dug a fork into your meal, a smile reaching his face as he heard your content moans.

The two of you ate in silence, only the sound of soft chewing and utensils hitting your respective plates could be heard.

Every so often, you would feel Chris peek at you, hoping for you to start up a conversation with him like you always did. It’s not like you didn’t want to, it was just that you were still hurting due to his words. You know from a psychological standpoint that there was something going on inside of him that caused him to lash out, which you understood. But it didn’t aid in diminishing your apprehensiveness towards opening up to him, afraid that another fight would break out and hurtful words would again be hurled.

He could sense the internal struggle battling within you so he spoke up, breaking you out from your subconscious.

“I know I’ve been saying this repeatedly over the past few weeks, but I want you to know how sorry I am,” Chris sympathetically stated, “You didn’t deserve what I put you through, the things I said. I just hope that we're able to someday go back to how we were.”

You sat there staring at the man in front of you. Was there a way that the two of you can revert to what once was? Could you actually forgive him?

Not knowing how to properly respond, you simply nodded. A tight lipped smile was evidence that Chris had a lot of making up to do.

Finishing up breakfast, you excused yourself to your office to go and work on your dissertation, leaving the brunette alone with his thoughts.

He knew that he needed to do something big to make up for his actions. He also knew that he needed to figure out why he lashed out on you.

Taking out his phone, he clicked on a saved contact and listened to the dial tone ring in his ear.

“Morning, I’d like to make an appointment as soon as possible. It’s an emergency.”

Chris sat on the plush maroon couch, his eyes getting reacquainted with the familiar setting. The office had a few knick knacks littered around the space. A potted plant here and there. Motivational, yet cheesy posters on the wall. An assortment of magazines on the coffee table.

He hadn’t been here in a while, his usual talks were about his anxiety and dealing with fame. But for this appointment it was about you- specifically how he treated you.

The new topic was foreign to him, resulting in the brunette not knowing how to address it. So he silently sat there as his therapist, Dr. Reynolds, held her pen in her hand and studied his behavior.

“So,” she cautiously started, “What brings you in today?”

Chris sat there twiddling his fingers at her question. There could’ve been a few reasons that brought him in, but the main one was why he said the things he hurled at you.

He proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes recapping the events that had transpired, making sure to not spare any detail. After his spiel, Dr. Reynolds skimmed through her notes that she jotted down during his explanation.

Looking up from her notebook, she locked eyes with the brunette. “Do you think that some of your actions correlate with self-sabotaging behaviors? How, when you opened yourself up to her so suddenly it made you feel scared? Scared that you might need to face those fears that are plaguing you.”

Chris sat there incredulously, “Well- I mean no. I don’t think so.”

The pair talked for over an hour, going over the usual allotted time as they broke down why Chris had acted a certain way.

He realized the anger he felt was a coping mechanism to avoid feeling what he truly felt: fear. Mainly his fear of commitment. Part of him was scared that any future marriage would end up like his parents, in divorce. He feared that you would stop loving him. He feared that he would stop loving you.

And that fear was ultimately pushing you away from him. Which uncovered the biggest fear of all, losing you.

Dr. Reynolds eventually received a knock on her door, indicating a waiting patient, causing their therapy session to be cut and saved for another day.

“Thanks doc, I think I know what I need to do now.”

After some much needed self-reflection made in the meeting with his therapist, Chris knew what he had to do. Leaving the office, he pulled out his phone and dialed his publicist, Megyn.

A few rings later, he went into detail to the blonde about his plan. Not caring about what the press might say, or how his fans might react, he needed to get it done.

She wasn’t too keen on dealing with the impending press that would come from it, but she was happy that he was able to find someone that he truly loved.

He went back to your place that evening with a refreshed mind. The rest of the day went by as usual, you both did your own respective things, the tension still heavy in the air.

As you both started on your own night routine, his main focus was on you. He didn’t even know he stopped brushing and was staring until you snapped your fingers in front of his eyes.

“Earth to Chris, everything alright?” your tone was light and airy, hinted with a bit of joy.

Chris looked at the slight smile on your face and was reminded all over again as to why he fell for you. That smile was something that was so ingrained in his mind that not even old age could make him forget it. It warmed his entire being whenever he was sad and it made him realize he could never take it off your face for the rest of his days.

“Yeah princess,” he whispered, still lost in you, “I’m alright.”

You nodded along to him, though your eyes squinted a bit due to being curious of his change in demeanor. Before he was overly cautious around you, now it seemed as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

Before you could set your toothbrush down and set out for bed, he stopped you with a hand on your elbow, pulling you into him. Not caring that there were still dribbles of toothpaste in his mouth, he leant down and attached his lips to yours.

The kiss was soft, he was desperate to feel your softness against him though wasn’t trying to rush the act in any way. Moving his hand up, he held onto your cheek in an effort to pull you even closer than you already are.

The smell of your lavender night cream instantly calmed him, making him feel safe in your embrace and absentmindedly smiling into the kiss.

Chris finally pulled away, only slightly, to look down on you with a dopey grin. “God I’m in love with you.”

For the first time in weeks, a genuine smile reached your face to match the man across from you.

“I love you too love bug,” you sighed against his lips, “You probably should’ve rinsed your mouth though, I can taste your toothpaste.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, “Sorry, just got caught up in the moment.”

Chris kept you secured in his arms as he continued to stare down at you. There was something different about him, specifically the way his gaze was directed at you. Though you were not complaining.

“How about we bring back date night? I can cook and we can finally sit and talk to one another like we used to.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his pleas. It had been a while since you two sat down and basked in each other’s presence. The thought had you hopeful that things could go back to normal.

“I would love that,” you began, “How about Friday? I have a test for a few of my classes this week so we can do it once I’m all free.”

Chris smiled down at you with eyes evident of his admiration for you, “Friday is perfect.”

The rest of the week went on rather differently than previous ones. Your touches came back to his body, fingertips grazing alongside him whenever he was close. Chris would regularly kiss your cheek or top of your shoulder anytime he had the chance.

You did take notice of him on his phone a lot, part of it filled you with uneasiness but the rational part of your brain told you it wasn’t something to ponder too much over, so you let it go.

Chris had been spending the entire week making sure that his plan was rolling smoothly. He had the entire date night planned to a T. He informed his family about it, who were ecstatic for him, making his own mother tear up due to how happy she was. He made sure to have everything ready at the house so that everything would be successful.

The day of the planned affair, you were stuck in your home office grading the last set of tests before being able to officially clock out for the evening. Inputting the grades into Blackboard, you were brought out of focus due to the sounds of buzzing from your phone. Picking up the device, you unlocked it and saw the incoming text from your boyfriend.

Chris: Baby, I know you’re still probably finishing up, but dinner will be ready at my place at around 7. I put something on your bed for you to wear. See you soon!

The endearing message made you smile and also feel a bit elated. You missed the intimate moments shared between you and Chris. The loving looks sent your way, the delicious food and engaging conversations. But most importantly, you missed the sex. Before, the two of you were like jackrabbits, the longest you both went without getting hot and heavy was about 2 days. Now going on over two months, you were becoming insatiable.

Quickly inputting the final test scores in your online grade book, you got ready for your night in with Chris. Heading up the stairs, you walked into your room to be hit with a bit of nostalgia. Laying on the bed was the same black dress that you wore on your first date with him.

With the amount of dresses you had in your wardrobe, it was a shock that he was able to find the specific one you wore that night. The sentiment warmed your heart and filled you with hope.

Rushing to get ready, you went and got dressed, making sure that you appeared your best before heading out.

It was only a quick drive to his home, before you were sat in his driveway.

Your mind was plagued with worry. You feared that if this night didn’t go well, then it would ultimately mean the end of your relationship with the man. Taking in a deep breath, you calmed your nerves before exiting the vehicle and made the trek towards his front door.

Using the house key you still had attached to your own ring set, you unlocked the door and walked in though you didn’t get far when the sight before you made you stop and gasp.

Starting from the front door laid a trail of rose petals leading you through the house. The thoughtful effort made tears begin to form in your eyes and your breath unsteady.

Following the trail, the same smells of vegetables sautéing brought you back to that time over a year ago.

Once you made it inside the kitchen, you saw Chris with an apron adorning his massive frame on top of his suit. Once he took notice of your arrival he turned around and smiled at you. “There you are sweetheart. I was waiting for you to show.”

He turned down the fire before gliding towards you, about to reach down and kiss you when you beat him to it.

Grabbing a hold of either side of his face, you slammed your lips to his; the action surprising you both. You delivered him repeated pecks which caused the brunette to laugh between every one of your kisses.

Getting enough of your intimate fill, you pulled away from him and looked up. “What’s the special occasion? I mean I know it’s date night, but still.”

Chris brought his hands down to rest on the dip of your back before pulling you in closer to him. The action caused your neck to crane up to look directly into his eyes.

“I wanted to make things right with my best girl.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at the slight Captain America reference before delivering another kiss, “Thank you, I love it.”

The meal went according to plan, the two of you enjoying the same shrimp scampi dish he made on your first date together.

You were sipping on your glass of wine when you heard Chris speak up.

“Though I’ve said it more times than either of us can count, I need you to know how regretful I am of how I acted.”

You sighed at his words, “Chris, I said it’s-”

“No, it’s not okay (Y/N),” he interrupted you, “It wasn’t okay for me to lash out at you. It wasn’t okay for me to hurt your feelings.”

“Tonight, I tried to recreate our first date together to show you just how much you mean to me.”

Chris had rehearsed what he was planning on saying for the past few days, but here now in this moment he couldn’t remember a single prepared line. So he just decided to follow his heart.

“(Y/N). The day I met you, it was one of the greatest days of my life. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but fate brought us together- well I guess I should say Ma did with her insisting.”

His words caused you to chuckle, “I can see where you got your determination. She really didn’t quit until she finally got us in the same room.”

The memory of Lisa bringing you two together that afternoon warmed both of your hearts.

“That day we met was the day I knew that there was no one else in the world that would matter to me as much as you would. Every single day that I get the pleasure of seeing that look on your face will forever make me the luckiest man on the Earth. So when I hurled those words at you and took that smile away, it made me feel horrendous.”

You didn’t even realize you had started crying until you felt the warmth of your tears sliding down your cheeks.

Chris reached across the table and curled his fingers around your hand, slightly stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend that I could be. I realized that my own fears of commitment caused me to take out my frustrations out on you, and absentmindedly pushed you away. But I realized that pushing you away was the last thing I ever wanted to happen.”

He felt his heart rate race and his organ beat heavily in his chest, his anxiety slowly rising.

“You are the greatest thing to happen to me. You make the worst days seem minuscule whenever you’re around. I love the way you’re able to always help push me through any obstacle I face, no matter how big or small it may be. The way you easily get along with my crazy family. And I love how you make me feel like I am floating on cloud nine anytime I kiss you.”

Chris felt his hands begin to sweat. One of his hands clasped onto yours, while the other held onto the small box in his left pocket of his slacks.

“A few days ago I had a session with my therapist about you. And during it I realized how much I care about you, and how losing you, even though it was brief, was the worst thing I had ever experienced.”

Slowly standing up on shaky legs, he brought you up with him.

“I had to secretly figure out the right size while you were sleeping the other night,” he began to joke, “You don’t know how hard it was to get the measurement done considering how light of a sleeper you are.”

You felt your heart pound in your chest. You suspected that something was different about his behavior and this evening, and your suspicions were slowly coming to light.

“I can’t ever experience the feeling of not having you by my side again. Waking up to a cold bed and not seeing the way your nose would sometimes crunch up while you're deep in a dream is something I never want to go through again.”

Chris reached into his pocket of his pants and pulled out a cherry red box. The sight of the gold inscription labeling 'Cartier' made your breath catch in your throat and tears fall freely down your face.

The height difference was changed when he steadily dropped down on his left knee, his tear filled blue eyes looking up at you.

“(Y/N), you make me the happiest man in the world. And I know it’s a stereotypical line for me to say, but it’s true. I love how you’re able to bring the best out of me and everyone around you. I love how you love everyone unconditionally. God, I love how fucking breathtaking you are. I am in love with everything about you.”

Letting go of your hand, he held the box in his grasp before cracking it open. The action caused your hands to cover your mouth and you to bend at the knees. With the aid of the lights around the room, it unveiled to you a marquise cut diamond. One either side were two stones. On the left was a pearl, indicating his June birthstone. The other side showed your gemstone, the rocks pairing perfectly with one another.

“So,” Chris began with a shaky breath, “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you do me the honor and make me the luckiest person in the world. Will you marry me?”

Your body shook with sobs as you nodded along to his question.

“Wait, are you saying yes?” Chris asked, excitement evident in his tone. “I don’t know if that’s you nodding yes or no.”

Removing your hands from your face you grasped on to your now fiancé’s, “Yes, I would love to marry you.”

Chris didn’t even get the chance to put the ring on you before raising up and slamming his lips against yours. Both of you tasting the salty tears that expelled from the other.

It was his turn to lay a continuous stream of kisses to your lips. Soft chants of ‘thank you’ leaving his mouth between every one.

Pulling away, he retrieved the ring from its box as you held up your left hand. You watched as he slid the band down your finger until it situated perfectly against the base. A content sigh left the both of you.

Chris brought your hand up and kissed the back of it and then your ring finger before locking eyes with you.

You two stayed like that for a while, your gaze flicking back and forth between each other’s lips until finally you two connected them.

This time, the embrace was intimate, more passion filled. Your hands folded against the nape of his neck, the coolness of the gold band making him smile with contentment.

With his hands holding onto your hips, he guided you back until you were met with resistance from the wall behind you; the sudden force causing you to lightly grunt into his mouth.

Lowering his hands until his palms rested on the back of your thighs, he tapped on your skin, an unspoken request for you to jump. While securing your hold on his neck, you jumped up and rested in his palms. With you in his hands, Chris began to walk the two of you towards his bedroom. Since Dodger was staying at his mom's house, he didn’t bother closing the door, not worrying about any sudden intrusion.

Your mouth was still attached to Chris when he laid you down, you head against the soft pillow on the plush bed. His frame towering over you as he shook off the suit jacket from his body, kicked off his shoes and toed his socks away.

“I love you so much (Y/N),” he swooned through kisses.

“I love you too Chris.”

Untying the front of your wrap dress, the silk material fell to the sides of your body, revealing your figure which was only covered by a thin, lace pair of underwear. The sight of your half naked self made him growl down at you in desire.

Removing his lips from yours, he descended down your body, leaving kisses in his wake.

“You’re all mine.”

His lips kissed around your taut nipple, his tongue poking out to flick at your pert bud.

“Forever and always.”

You felt him leaving traces of wetness from open-mouth kisses on your abdomen.

“The love of my life.”

His fingers dug into the sides of your thong before dragging it down your legs.

“My beautiful fiancé.”

You breathing hitched as you felt his warm breath fan across your exposed cunt. The hot air was a stark contrast to the cool slick of your dripping wetness.

“The future Mrs. Evans.”

And with that, Chris flattened out his tongue before running a long stripe up your pussy, lapping up your wetness until he curled it around your clit. “Oh fuck, Chris.”

How exhausting the sexual hiatus that you experienced with the brunette was evident due to how you were squirming on the bed. Your hands spread throughout the sheets, gripping and tugging in an effort to gain some form of steadiness. Over two months without having him on you had you mewling into the air. “Please baby, don’t stop.”

With his tongue occupied, Chris continued to devour you. His tongue alternated between long drags and quick flicks between your folds. You felt the tip of his tongue prod at your opening in a desperate attempt to taste more of you- to feel more of you.

Removing his mouth, he heard you begin to groan in disappointment before it turned into a moan when he spat on your cunt then suctioned his lips around your clit. With one hand holding your stomach down, he used the other to enter your soaking hole with his index and middle fingers.

Chris was gentle with his digits inside of you, dragging his pads alongside your ways, stroking your contracting walls and feeling every ridge. Once he was knuckle deep, he scissored your cunt, basking in the sounds of your squelching around his fingers paired with your content moans of relief.

He replaced his mouth with his thumb, using the limb to draw slow, tortuous circles on your mound as he watched you fall into the deep recesses of ecstasy.

He observed your neck stretch back, exposing a slightly bulging vein running up the expanse. The way your lips quivered as your moans flew freely out. Your legs began to shake when he hit the spot he was all too familiar with deep in your core.

“Look at me,” Chris demanded, his Boston accent evident in his request, “Need’a watch my pretty girl cum all over my fingers.”

The eye contact with the brunette was intense, more fierce than ever experienced before, but you reveled in every second of it. You noticed how his pupils had become blown out, only showing a small ring of blue surrounding the black.

You tried to keep the gaze locked until you felt your orgasm come full force through your body like a tidal wave. “Christopher!”

Upon hearing your screech of desire and feeling your essence begin to soak his digits, he replaced his thumb back with his mouth, longing to taste every single drop of your sweetness. His fingers continued to pump inside of you, prolonging your release and causing more of your juices to flow into and around his mouth.

Chris finally removed his fingers to drink more of you until you attempted to feebly push his head away, the orgasm causing you to lose most of your strength.

“Sorry princess, you know Daddy just can't get enough of you,” Chris moaned as he licked your essence off his lips.

He rose up your lower half and hovered over you staring down at your exhausted self. You mustered the power to raise your arms and grasp his face in your hands before bringing him down to connect lips once more.

The kisses were lecherous, the both of you yearning to taste every single part of the other. Your tongue was firm against his as he massaged yours while you swallowed each other's moans.

Your body felt on fire with the way his large hands were massaging and caressing every inch of your exposed skin. His fingers digging into your softness and pulling you flush against his frame.

Taking your hands away from his face, you began to unbutton his dress shirt, peeling away the material until it unveiled his tattooed chest. Your fingers tracing the large design on his chest before making its way down to his belt, unbuckling it in the process.

Dragging the leather through the loops and away from his body, you unzipped his trousers before reaching in to palm his obvious erection. The action made the man above you keen against your tongue. “I wanna taste you Chris.”

With your thighs around his hips, you nudged him until your positions were switched. His head against the same pillow, he watched as you tugged down the material on his lower half, leaving the two of you completely bare for one another.

You laid down on your stomach between his legs before grabbing hold onto the base of his cock, drawing a hiss from Chris.

His head craned back at the feel of your wet mouth tonguing his length, the wet muscle licking a stripe from the base to his tip. “Ohh- that's it baby.”

You collected your spit before it dripped from your mouth and on his head, the liquid cascading down the massive length. Using it for your advantage, you began to stroke him while attaching your lips around his tip. Your tongue flicked his slit while drinking up his precum.

“God, I love you so much (Y/N).”

Removing one of your hands, you began to swallow his length, stroking off what you couldn’t take down. His moans and groans only stir you on as you bask in the feel of him throbbing in your mouth. With your free hand, you began to palm at his balls; the action making him grip the sheets as well as tenderly holding the side of your head.

His mouth was parted, showing only his tongue, as he panted out. “That’s it baby, such a good girl for me.”

Chris felt his peak slowly approaching, the buildup steadily growing with every swipe of your tongue, suction from your lips and tug at his balls. Though he would’ve loved to release down your throat and watch your mouth milk his balls, he wanted- needed to feel your warmth surrounding him as he coated your walls.

He went to unlatch you from his cock and raise you towards him. “I need to feel you,” he breathed out, “I miss the feel of you around me (Y/N).”

You crawled up his body til you were straddling his hips. Reaching down, you pumped his length a few times before positioning it for entry. The second you began the descent and his head met the resistance from your cunt, you both groaned out.

Chris couldn’t wait any longer so he brought his hands to your hips and fully sank you down on him, sheathing his entire cock inside of you. The action made you lurch forward with your hands planting themselves on his chest in search of stability.

“Oh that’s it princess,” professed Chris, “Missed this tight fucking cunt choking my cock. Missed you so goddamn much.”

With the help of his hands on your hips, you began to slowly work yourself on his dick. Every rise and fall of your hips made you experience the delectable feel of his veined shaft drag against your channel.

“Oh Christopher,” you cooed as you felt him throb inside of you.

“That’s it princess, I’m right here.”

You brought your hands from off of him and covered his large ones. Removing them from your body, you intertwined digits. The new position of your hands allowed the newly added engagement ring to gleam under the light.

If he had a camera, he would’ve wanted to capture the beauty of you in that moment. Every buck of your hips caused your breasts to bounce, the action enticing him even more than already. The sweat that began to form on your body caused your body to shine from the bedroom lights, making your body appear as if it were glowing.

He wanted to frame the glorious sight of you, but he decided to settle with the fact of knowing he would be able to recreate this exact moment for the rest of his life. Recreate with you as husband and wife.

He rose up from the mattress and maneuvered your legs to wrap around his waist before sitting on his haunches. The new position of your naked chest pressed up against his own while he fucked you on his cock was a sort of intimacy that couldn’t be explained.

The closeness of your faces allowed you to feel each other’s breaths warm your features. You could see pupils being blown, feel the sweat dripping off one another, and hear every single sound that escaped the other's mouth.

Attaching his lips to yours, Chris moaned into your mouth. “That’s it baby, cream all around my cock. Milk me til I fill you up with my cum.”

The heels of your feet dug into his lower back and your fingertips gripped onto his neck, leaving scratches in its wake.

You knew for certain that you would have bruises on your waist with the way he had latched onto you, raising you up and down his length.

With every thrust, your sweaty skin slapped together as his balls spanked up against your ass.

“Ahh baby, I- fuck Chris I’m almost there.”

“I know (Y/N), I’m right behind you.”

A few more harsh thrusts as his tip slammed against your g-spot and you were suddenly slammed into the blissful abyss of your orgasm. The tightness of your contracting walls caused Chris to achieve his own release. The shouting sounds of you two reaching your respective peaks echoed throughout the room.

Warmth flooded your body and your cunt as you felt Chris’s cock shoot ribbons of his seed deep into you. He continued to drag you along his length, hoping to prolong the glorious feeling of your pussy throbbing around him.

After the sensation of your peak began to wane, he fell back against the mattress, bringing you down with him.

The two of you laid there in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth radiating off the other.

Chris strokes your back, long traces of his thumb running along your spine as you both regain your breath.

“I’m in love with you (Y/N). So goddamn much.”

Still a little too spent, you nodded while your hands toyed around with his chest.

While you two sat there, a realization popped into the brunette's head, making him begin to stand up. “I’ll be right back.”

You watched his ass jiggle with every step out of the room, the sight making you chuckle. When he returned, he held his phone in his hand.

“Seriously Christopher, you wanna make a sex tape right now?”

A boisterous laughter left him at your assumption, “No sweetheart, not that.”

Chris sat back next to you on the bed as he scrolled through his phone gallery. After a few flicks on his thumb, he finally found the photo that you two took on your first date. You were as beautiful as ever, smiling at the camera as he looked in awe at you.

You watched as he loaded up Instagram and clicked on the plus sign to create a new post. “Chris, what are you doing?”

“Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

Choosing the desired photo, he went to begin typing out his caption that would unveil you to the world.

chrisevans: A little over a year ago this photo was taken on our first date. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, that’s why I eagerly asked you to be mine. (Y/N) you make me the happiest man that I could be. I know this past year and a half has been a tough one, especially with everyone in the world claiming that they were dating me while I kept you in the shadows, but enough is enough. There’s no one else that I would rather be with. There’s no one in this entire world that holds a candle to you. To your beauty, your kindness, your everything. You are the love of my life. As of tonight, my fiancé. And soon to be my wife. I love you more than words can describe princess. (Y/@/N)

Chris finished typing out his message before looking down at you, silently asking for approval. He watched as your index finger raised up and clicked on the share button, indicating the end of your secrecy.

A dopey smile made his face before he looked at you, phone in hand, “Now, about that sex tape.”

You laughed at his joke as he made his way to kiss you once more. The embrace was full of contentment due to knowing that things were back to normal with a growing relationship full of unwavering love, reinstated trust, and pure happiness.

A/N: and that's a wrap folks. thank you to everyone who read this series.

also i would like to say that this is in no way an indication of chris evans personality or character. this is just fiction.

if you enjoyed this, please make sure to reblog and comment. feedback is much appreciated !

* divider credits : @firefly-graphics *

#chris evans #chris evans series #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans one shot #chris evans fluff #chris evans x fem!reader #chris evans rpf #chris evans x reader #chris evans angst #chris evans fic #steve rogers smut #andy barber smut #ransom drysdale smut #pining for professor

757 notes · View notes

bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 3 years

Note

🥺 babe 🥺 bAbE

What if Jask gets sick at Kaer Morhen but tries to hide it from Geralt bc he doesn't want him to think he's gross/weak/etc? And Geralt has the Feelings Braincell for once?

oh babe... thank you

tw: sickness, falling unconscious, fever, whump/angst with a happy ending

---

Jaskier knew he had a fever the moment he woke up. He could feel it burning beneath this skin like a forge, flushing his face a more vibrant shade of pink than usual. He glared at his reflection in the small, round mirror above his dressing table and willed himself to feel better. It was his first winter at Kaer Morhen, and he didn’t want Geralt to think he’d made a mistake by inviting Jaskier along to stay. The bard knew that his stoic, self-loathing Witcher would blame himself immediately for any misfortune or illness that befell Jaskier. Geralt might even reconsider inviting him back again someday. So he had to keep his little bug a secret until he was well. Surely it was nothing major. Surely it would pass after a few days, unnoticed and unremarkable.

He should have known better.

Jaskier dabbed a bit more perfume than usual (which was generally none at all) beneath his ears and along his wrists. He hoped the peony-lavender mixture would mask whatever kind of scent his illness might carry and slowly, carefully made his way down the long stone staircase that led from the guest bedroom to the enormous kitchen. His limbs felt achy and tired, even though he’d slept heavily the night previous. His head sat heavy and unbalanced atop his shoulders; the world wavered and spun around him as he desperately tried to keep from pitching sideways into the wall.

“You alright there, boy?” Vesemir asked, catching his eye from the bottom of the stairs. “You seem a bit… nervous.”

Maybe his anxiety was doing a better job of hiding his secret than the perfume.

“Just a little wool between my ears this morning,” the bard laughed brightly, ignoring the searing pain that throbbed through his chest with the movement, “I think I might go chop some wood and see if the brisk mountain air helps clear it out faster.”

“Hmm,” the eldest Wolf nodded sagely. There was no doubt which teacher Geralt had admired most as a pup. “Alright. Be safe, take care. I’ll send someone to fetch you when breakfast is ready.”

“Thank you, Vesemir,” Jaskier bowed shallowly and headed for the kitchen’s back door. He took the axe into his hands and tried not to sway on his feet from the added weight. The bard covered his tracks by throwing a smile back over his shoulder and pushing the door open. “See you for breakfast!”

He stepped out of the keep and let the heavy slab of wood slam shut behind him. The early morning sky above Kaer Morhen was cloudless and the sun was bright, blinding him entirely. His situation only worsened when the sudden change in temperature, from the warm kitchen to the freezing mountainside, punched the air from his lungs in one thick cloud. He struggled to regain it as he wove his way through the snow drifts to the woodpile. Slowly, and with great effort, Jaskier lined up a thick log to be split.

The world felt watery and far away. His hand, which he knew to be attached to the end of his arm by some miracle, would not obey his command to pick up the axe again. His lungs felt heavy in his chest cavity and his legs suddenly ached with a fierce intensity.

With a quiet cry of protest against his own body failing him, Jaskier collapsed into the snow.

---

Jaskier’s heartbeat was so slow and quiet, his limbs unmoving and his lips nearly blue from the cold; Geralt wasn’t sure he’d ever been so scared before in his life. He turned to Vesemir and asked, barely keeping the frantic terror from clawing its way out of his throat: “How long was he out there?”

“Half an hour at most,” the grey Wolf shrugged. “I don’t really remember, Geralt. I was busy taking care of the breakfast arrangements.”

“Fuck!”

“Calm down,” Eskel ordered. He frowned at Geralt from his place at Jaskier’s opposite side. He’d helped carry the bard from the courtyard to Geralt’s room and was just as worried about the human’s wellbeing. “Panicking won’t help him. Now, what’s the problem?”

“It’s hard to tell over all that stupid perfume,” Lambert snarled. “Stupid fucking bard fucking knew we would be able to smell it on him. He covered his gods-damned tracks.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt murmured, having grown suddenly calm. He let the back of his knuckles drag softly across the bard’s too-hot cheek until he could stick a stray lock of sweaty brown hair back behind his ear. “You idiot.”

The bard shifted against the blanket they’d laid him on, his brow wrinkling. His arms twitched slightly, as if he was trying to move them, and he whined plaintively: “G’ralt.”

“I’m here, Jask,” the Witcher replied quickly, forgetting they weren’t alone in the room. He took one of the bard’s freezing hands into his own and began rubbing the warmth back into his fingers. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you better. You’ll be alright.”

“Who are you trying to reassure?” Lambert huffed a short laugh. “You or the bard?”

“Leave off,” Eskel shot his younger brother a glare. The redhead rolled his eyes and moved to lean against the wall near the door. Eskel continued speaking to Lambert, but his eyes were back on Jaskier, who kept trying to get closer to Geralt even in his sleep. “Why don’t you go grab some clean clothes from his room while we get him warmed up and conscious again.”

“Fine,” Lambert spat. But he took off at a quick trot, regardless.

“Geralt, get his wet clothes off and get him wrapped up. Eskel, you come with me to the kitchen. I’ll need help carrying things and I’m sure the bard would prefer some privacy in this particular matter.”

Eskel nodded his agreement and followed Vesemir from the room, leaving Geralt alone with Jaskier. The White Wolf hurried to undress and swaddle the bard with a warm, heavy wool blanket and several furs, talking all the while in a low, worried voice. “Fuck, Jaskier. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry this happened and that you- Why did you hide it? Why wouldn’t you- Are you afraid of me? Is that why you didn’t come to me for help?”

Jaskier’s lids fluttered open and Geralt watched with nervous anticipation as two of the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen, blue as cornflowers and brighter than the spring sky, tried their best to focus on his face. “Geralt?”

“I’m here, Jaskier. What’s ailing you? Please, tell me how I can help you.”

“Hurts,” the bard managed to groan. “To breathe.”

“Fuck,” Geralt growled. “We need to get you warm. Lambert should be back with your clothes by now.”

Jaskier’s head lolled back against the pillow and he struggled to reach for his Witcher, “Hold me.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll warm up-” he gasped between words, as if every syllable pained him to expel “-faster if… you hold me.”

“Hmm,” Geralt’s brows furrowed in frustration. He knew Jaskier was right, that he’d feel better faster with skin-on-skin contact, but he also wanted to hold Jaskier for other, less emergency-based reasons. That was unacceptable. Losing Jaskier to death or sickness or other human reasons was intolerable but losing him, in all senses of the word, because of Geralt’s impossible feelings? That would be truly horrendous.

The warring factions of his heart were still clamoring over a decision when Eskel and Vesemir re-entered carrying two large trays. One was covered with foodstuffs and the other held an enormous clay teapot and mugs. A small pot of honey, gathered from Vesemir’s very own beehives, was the most obvious sign of affection Geralt had ever seen the older man display for a near-stranger.

“I’m gonna… get… spoiled,” Jaskier gasped. The eldest Wolf shot Geralt a glare.

“Why aren’t you in there with him? You know the best way to warm up a hypothermic person is skin contact, Geralt! I certainly taught you better than this.”

“I didn’t-” he stuttered. “I wasn’t-”

“He’s afraid,” Jaskier smiled sadly, cuddling himself deeper into the furs as he turned his gaze towards the fire. All three of the Witchers could smell his sadness, even more potent than the illness ravaging his delicate human body. Geralt winced when his brother and father glared at him in tandem, expressions nearly matching in fury. The bard was still looking away, watching the flames send dancing patterns of light against the stone walls. “Don’t worry… won’t ask… for any more.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt whispered, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. “May I hold you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, that’s our cue to leave,” Vesemir smiled beneath his mustache. Jaskier was too tired to blush, and opted to bury his head in Geralt’s shoulder instead. “Come along, Eskel. Let’s see what Lambert has gotten up to.”

“What about Jaskier’s clothes?”

“He can borrow Geralt’s for now. I’m sure our White Wolf won’t mind sharing; he’s the possessive type, after all.”

Geralt rolled his eyes and grumbled out of habit more than disagreement.

When Vesemir and Eskel had gone for good and the door was closed, Geralt pulled Jaskier out of the furs and removed his own shirt. He settled the bard against his chest and buried his nose in Jaskier’s dark hair, breathing in the scents of sweat and sickness and now, thank the gods, tangy-bright happiness. “Gods, Jaskier. Don’t scare me like that ever again. I can’t lose you.”

“I didn’t… want… to disappoint.”

“You never do and never will,” Geralt intoned. He pulled the furs over them both and splayed his large hands across Jaskier’s back. The bard’s skin was overly hot in some places and freezing in others; Geralt buried his panic in order to care for... for the man he loved. He took a deep breath and rubbed slow circles between the bard’s shoulder blades. “I… I love you, Jaskier.”

“Hmm,” the bard hummed tunelessly. “Love you… too.”

Geralt helped him sit up and drink a mug of tea. He listened, slowly allowing himself to relax, as Jaskier’s breathing eased and his heartbeat balanced. When the tea was gone and the fire was re-built to Geralt’s satisfaction, the Witcher tucked Jaskier’s head beneath his chin and wrapped his arms around the bard’s shoulders. “Oh, my little lark. I’ve been so foolish for too long.”

“Yeah,” Jaskier grinned into the Witcher’s warm pectoral. “Me... too.”

“Well, we’ll have plenty of time when you feel better,” Geralt murmured, lips pressing over and over to the top of the bard’s head. Jaskier couldn’t keep himself from smiling, even as he drifted back to sleep. The Witcher felt something settle in his chest when he whispered: “Rest up, dear heart. There are many more adventures to be had.”

#geraskier #sickfic #geraskier sickfic #geraskier fluff #getting together #bouncey's endless getting together fics #jaskier whump #winter at kaer morhen #wifey's prompts #comfy's prompts #anything for you boo #geraskier fluffiness #geraskier ficlet

557 notes · View notes