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moon-light-jukebox · 4 years

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Don’t Go - [Reid x Reader]

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Summary: After being tortured by Tobias Hankel, Dr. Spencer Reid is struggling and everyone can see it. Reader can’t bear his pain and tries to comfort him...only to be heartbroken when he says their night meant nothing.

Pairing: Spencer Reid / Fem!Reader

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 10.6k

Genre: Angst. Angst. Angst. But fluff at the end cause I’m not a monster.

Content Warning: Talk of drug use, language, penetrative sex, oral sex (female receiving), and just angst. All the angst. Get tissue.

A/n: This is set over the arc of episodes 2x16 - 2x18. A special thank you to @imjusthereformggcontent and @catsadams for reading through the beginning of this in its first form. You’re both angels. I hope this is everything y’all wanted it to be, my doves. Thank you for sticking with me.

Request prompt: Can you write a fic where Spencer is high on dilaudid and tells you that your night together was nothing and that you're nothing to him. Then the next day he can't rember telling you and and he can't figure out why you are avoiding him.

-- Don’t Go --

The first indication I got that today wasn’t going to be normal came when Special Agent Grant Anderson shuffled into my office just after 9:30 am. He didn’t knock before he entered and then shut the door quickly behind him.

I glanced up from the paperwork in front of me, my eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “Something on your mind, Special Agent?” I teased.

Ever since Anderson made a mistake that led to SSA Elle Greenaway being shot a few months ago, a lot of people on this floor had been giving him the cold shoulder, despite the fact that Greenaway had forgiven him before she left the BAU.

When I first joined the bureau and was assigned to this unit, Anderson had been my first friend. He was there for me when I felt nervous and like I was a complete imposter. He’s the reason I was still a member of this team; I’d never turn my back on him.

“Something’s up with Reid.”

I propped both of my elbows on the desk, my chin resting on my folded hands. “Well, he was just abducted and tortured. That’s gonna have an effect on someone.”

Anderson was already shaking his head before I got done speaking. “This is different. I just tried to talk to him while he was getting some coffee. I asked him about David Tennant taking over as The Doctor and he…he snapped at me, y/l/n.”

Okay, that’s odd. “Maybe he just didn’t feel like talking,” I defended. “He was tortured, Grant.”

“I’ve known him since I started here. He’s…something is wrong.”

I leaned back, crossing my arms over my chest. “It can’t be anything too bad. I mean, he’s surrounded by profilers. His mentor is Jason Gideon for god’s sake. If something was wrong, they’d know.”

Anderson walked forward and braced his palms on my desk, his eyes boring into mine.

“Dr. Spencer Reid is also one of the best profilers in the world. I’m telling you, y/n, something is wrong.”

I conceded with a sigh. “What do we do?”

“I think you should talk to him.”

My spine stiffened. “Me? Why?” But I knew why.

Anderson scoffed. “You know how he looks at you. And I know how you look at him.”

Dr. Spencer Reid’s nervousness around me could have been blamed on many things, Anderson insisted it meant he liked me. I wasn’t convinced…because I saw how he looked at JJ.

How I looked at Reid was obvious. He was the most brilliant man I had ever met, he was kind, sweet, and his eyes sparkled when he talked about something he loved. My heart fluttered when he realized he was rambling and he blushed, and my day was made whenever he would seek me out to talk to me.

I had a crush on Spencer Reid.

“Alright,” I said. “I’ll talk to him.”

He shot me a relieved smile and backed away from the desk. “Sooner than later, please.”

Such a sassy bitch, I thought as he shut the door.

It was well after 6 pm when I gathered my things to leave the office that day. I had been hired as one of the many, many agents that worked under JJ. Media liaison wasn't her only role; she also fielded hundreds of requests for FBI assistance every week. It was my job to go through those requests, make initial judgments, and then send out responses.

I had always been happier working behind the scenes, so a job filled with paperwork suited me just fine. All I wanted to do was help catch bad guys, and with the BAU I felt like I was making a difference.

Speaking to Reid had been on my mind all day, but I had expected that I'd have the night to think up a plan of attack then talk to him first thing in the morning, but when I walked past the bullpen I saw him at his desk.

The entire floor appeared to be empty apart from him. His shoulders were hunched, his head resting in his hands.

I was opening the doors before I realized what was happening. I had crossed the distance until I was standing in front of him before I even knew what I was going to say.

“Reid,” I said softly. I almost touched him, but I didn’t think he’d like that. He didn’t seem to like to be touched.

His head snapped up; the circles under his eyes were darker than normal, his hair was messier than usual, and his clothing was in disarray. He cleared his throat, his tongue running over his dry lips.

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to.

"I can't imagine what you're going through," I began, standing at the end of his desk. "I don't even know how to begin to think about it. So, I won't ask you to talk about it. I won't ask you to talk at all. I just…I just want you to know that I'm here if you just want a friend. If you want to grab some coffee and talk about nothing…whatever."

Those warm brown eyes were duller than I’d ever seen them, but they ran over my entire body quizzically, like he wasn’t sure I was even there.

After a beat, I decided it was best to leave him to it. I couldn't force him to accept my offer…not that I would force him even if I could. "Goodnight, Reid."

I turned and made my way back to the double glass doors of the bullpen. I hadn’t heard him move, so I was completely thrown off guard when his hand wrapped around my wrist. My eyes looked up to meet his, confusion plain on my face.

His eyes weren't dull anymore, they were shimmering but not in any way I ever wanted to see. He swiped at his cheek angrily when the first tear fell. "Don't go," he rasped.

I won’t.

We didn’t speak as we took the elevator down to the lobby. It was only when we reached the front doors of the building that I spoke. “Where do you want to go?”

He scratched at his forearm, his eyes moving over the room behind us like he was expecting someone to run out from any direction. I wasn't a profiler, but I recognized hypervigilance when I saw it.

“I don’t know. Not here.”

I nodded. “Alright. Do you want to go…get food? Coffee?” He shook his head, his hands now picking at the threads of the cardigan he wore. “We could go for a walk?”

“I…” He cleared his throat, his eyes rising to meet mine. “I don’t want to be around a lot of people right now.”

“Okay, we can-“

“But,” he interrupted. “I…I’m afraid to be alone, y/n. I’m…I’m so fucking afraid.”

I reached for him only to still my hand at the last second, millimeters away from touching him. “I won’t leave you alone, Reid.” My teeth dug into my lower lip as I thought. “We could go to your apartment. Or mine.” I quickly added when I saw how his eyes widened at the mention of his place.

“I…I don’t want to go home.” He licked his lips again, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Then you don’t have to go home right now. We’ll go to my place. We can order dinner, watch a movie, or we can do nothing. It’s up to you.”

The look of relief on his face, combined with the smile he sent me warmed up a part of my heart I didn’t even know was cold.

The ride to my apartment was mostly silent; I had turned the radio on for background noise. Spencer’s eyes kept staring out of my passenger side window while his hands twisted in his lap.

He followed behind me quietly when we entered my building, then took the elevator up to my apartment. Spencer’s eyes glided over my apartment, taking in the photos of my friends and family on the walls, the throw pillows on my couch, and the titles on my bookshelf.

I went into the kitchen to get us both a bottle of water only to find him standing in the same spot when I returned.

“Are you hungry?”

He shook his head.

“Okay, do you want to sit down?”

He nodded, following me over to my couch. I curled my feet up under myself, my hands folded in my lap. “Spencer…I know I said you don’t have to talk, and you don’t. But…I want to help. I just…I want to do anything I can to help you.” I let out a breath, embarrassed that my voice was already thick with tears. “If that means sitting here beside you and just staring at the wall that’s fine. I…I just want to help.”

Reid’s head swiveled over to face me, those beautiful brown eyes were frightened. “Tobias…he…he hurt me. And I can still feel it,” he whispered, his voice raw even in that hushed volume. “It’s all I feel. I just…I don’t want to hurt anymore, y/n. I can’t stand it.”

I couldn’t stop myself from rising up on my knees and moving towards him. “Can I hug you? Is that okay?”

The words weren’t out of my mouth before he wrapped his arms around my middle, laying his head against my chest. When the first sob wracked through his body, I felt something inside of me crack. The second sob triggered my own.

I didn't know what had happened to him, and if I did know, I don't think I would ever truly understand. But the agony he was in affected me more than any pain I had ever felt myself.

My fingers ran through his hair, tugging at the soft tangles. His hair is curly, I thought absentmindedly. He always wore it slicked down…but it was curly.

Spencer finally quieted after a few moments, his sobs turning into sniffles. “Thank you.”

I gave a broken chuckle. “Don’t thank me for caring about you, Spencer.”

He pulled his head back to look at me, his eyes moving over my cheeks. “You cried for me.”

I nodded.

“Why?”

The question was so unexpected that I wasn’t prepared to do anything but tell the truth. “It hurts me to see you hurt.”

Spencer looked at me for a moment longer, absorbing my words before his palm came up and cupped my jaw, his thumb wiping my left-over tears away. He gentled pulled my head down until my lips pressed against his. Our first kiss was tender, his lips were slightly chapped but still unbelievably soft. Something about this kiss broke my heart more than his tears did.

My hands had come up to cup his face, my actions a mirror of his own. “I…I don’t want to take advantage of you, Spencer,” I mumbled out when we had pulled apart.

He chuckled softly. “You’re worried about that?” His mood became somber when I nodded. “Y/n…you know how I look at you. Everyone does. I don’t…I don’t want this if you don’t. I don’t want you to do this out of pity-“

“Spencer,” I gasped. “I would never…I’d never touch you out of pity. I-I want to touch you. I have for a long time.”

you. I have for a long time.”

Tears started to shine in his eyes again at my words. “Then please touch me, y/n. I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. I just…I just want to feel how I feel when you hold me. It-It doesn’t hurt when you touch me.”

Our lips came together the second time in understanding and hope. My mouth brushed against his with a promise that I was touching him because I wanted to. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, his teeth nibbling on it while his hands wove into my hair.

I moved to straddle his lap, my knees on either side of him, while my hands started working on the buttons of his shirt.

Spencer’s tongue ghosted against my lips; the groan he gave when I immediately let him inside made my core throb.

He froze when I started to push his shirt off his shoulders. “What is it?”

“It’s…I don’t want you to see…what he did to me. Please?”

I moved off of him quickly, extending my hand to pull him from the couch. I led him down the hall to my bedroom, not turning on the overhead light when we entered; the only source of light was a sliver of moonlight through the curtains.

“You don’t have to show me anything you don’t want to,” I whispered. “Do you…”

His lips crushed against mine, his hands grabbing my hips to pull me against his body. Those long fingers started working my shirt up my body, breaking away momentarily to pull it over my head.

Once my pants were down my thighs, he pushed me back onto the bed. He had removed his cardigan but left his button-up shirt on. I reached behind myself to unhook my bra, feeling a sudden nervousness rise up in my chest.

His fingers were warm when they brushed over my collarbones, drifting down over my breasts. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured.

I pulled him on top of me when I leaned back on the bed, our lips meeting in a heated frenzy. He palmed my breast, his thumb brushing over my nipple, causing me to arch up against him.

Spencer’s lips moved down until he was mouthing my neck, his teeth nipping at the skin, all the while his hand ghosted down my body until his fingers hooked on the top of my panties.

His head lifted, his eyes searching mine. “Can I touch you?”

I nodded, my hand moving atop his, guiding him inside my panties; I couldn’t control my gasp when his fingers parted my folds to brush against me.

My hands went to his belt. “I-is this okay?”

He nodded, his mouth coming down to cover the tip of my breast, his tongue teasing my nipple to a point. Those long fingers gathered wetness from my opening to bring it up to circle my clit. Ever the scientist, Spencer paid attention to every reaction I had, he wanted to learn how to touch me.

When his middle and ring finger entered me, his palm grinding against my clit, I finally got his pants open. My hand snacked inside to palm his cock, pulling a grown from him.

“Can I push these down a bit?”

“Please,” he breathed, his lips coming over mine.

His pants were down to his mid-thighs before I wrapped my hand around him. He was bigger than I expected, not overly thick, but longer than anyone I had been with before.

“Y/n,” he whimpered against my lips, his fingers speeding up inside of me.

I gave a few pumps, my movements uncoordinated. “I want to feel you inside me, Spence. Please?”

Reid groaned, removing his fingers from my heat. “Do you have a condom?”

I turned to my bedside table, fumbling in the darkness. When I turned back to face him, I saw two of his fingers in his mouth. The same two fingers that had just been inside of me.

“Jesus,” I breathed out, finding the sight of him sucking my arousal off his fingers incredibly erotic.

He took the condom from me, his lips quirking up in a smile. "I've…I've never done that before." His eyes moved down to my still covered pussy. "I want to…but I-I don't want this time to be worse for you than it has to be," he said with a self-deprecating chuckle.

"Hey," I muttered, my hands cupping that well-defined jaw. "This isn't going to be bad for me, Spencer. Just being with you is wonderful."

My words felt heavy in the air. Because they were true.

Spencer swallowed thickly, rolling the condom down over his length. I tugged my panties off, leaving me totally bare to him, while he still had most of his clothing on.

Even with that weird detail, this was still wonderful; being with Spencer like this was…everything.

I gripped him, lining him up at my entrance. His forehead dropped against mine when he started to push inside of me.

“Spence,” I breathed, my hands clutching at his hips.

“Are you okay?” he panted.

“Better than okay. You feel so good.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I don’t think anything could feel better than…fuck.” His slim hips pressed against mine when he was fully sheathed inside of me.

I felt my pussy flutter at his words. I’d never heard Spencer curse like that before.

We started a steady pace; his thrusts were even, and my hips rose to meet them. His arms were braced on either side of my head, his lips brushing against mine while he fucked me.

Calling it fucking seemed wrong. It was so much more.

“Y/n,” he groaned. “I’m close.”

My hand squeezed down between our bodies to rub my clit. “Hold on. I’m almost there.” I whined out.

His moan seemed to tingle across my skin when he dropped his head against my shoulder. “I want to feel you cum, baby.”

I whimpered at his words. “Spencer, harder. I need it harder.”

His hips snapped against mine as he slammed into me, I felt his teeth on the tender skin where my neck and shoulder met for a second before he bit down.

The mix of pain with pleasure sent me over the edge. My pussy clamped down on him as I found my own orgasm, pulling him over the edge with me.

My fingers ran over his back, scratching at the material of his shirt. I breathed his name out over and over while I floated back down from my high.

I felt his tongue soothe over the bite mark he had just given me as he gave a few more jerks inside of me before pulling out. He placed the sweetest kiss against my lips and when he pulled back, his eyes were shining, but not with tears this time.

After we cleaned up, we ordered take out and watched some sci-fi movie that was on cable. I couldn’t tell you a thing about it; I was too busy watching Spencer’s face when he told me all about it. I was enraptured by his voice, the way his hands moved.

He was so beautiful.

Before I was ready, I realized that it was already approaching midnight. “It’s late,” I said.

He nodded. “I should go.”

It was childish, but I couldn’t stop my lip from jutting out in a pout, causing him to laugh.

“What is it, beautiful?” he questioned, his voice teasing.

I shoved his shoulder. “Don’t ‘beautiful’ me, Spencer Reid,” I scolded, delighted when he laughed. “I just…I’m not ready for you to go.”

Something in Spencer’s eyes changed. He seemed almost relieved at my words. “I’m not ready to go either.”

I leaned over, placing a soft kiss in the center of his lips. “Then don’t go.”

Spending the night with Spence was worth how early I had to wake up the following morning to drive him by his apartment before work. I had offered to wait and give him a ride to work, but he had gotten a text from Garcia. They had gotten called to Houston for a case; Morgan was going to swing by and get him.

“I’ll call you when I can,” he promised, cupping my face when he kissed me goodbye.

The circles under his eyes this morning weren’t as dark as they had been before.

I could barely contain my excitement when we got the notification that the team was headed back. Part of me felt silly for being so excited. I mean, it was just one night; but it hadn’t felt like just one night.

Spencer hadn’t called me during the few days he’d been in Texas, but I hadn’t really expected him to. If anyone understood his job, it was someone who worked with his team. The BAU was such an elite unit within the FBI for a reason; they would stop at nothing to solve a case.

When the glass doors of the bullpen opened and I saw Hotch stride in, heading for his office, I couldn’t contain my smile.

“I saw that,” Anderson muttered.

I reached out and smack his arm. “You wanted me to talk to Reid.”

He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. “And judging by that mark on your neck you did more than talk.”

I scowled at him. “See if I’m on your side the next time you fuck up,” I teased, knowing he wouldn’t take my words to heart.

He just offered me a wide smile. That’s how Anderson had lasted so long here, he never really held onto anything.

“Your man doesn’t look so good,” he said suddenly.

I turned, my eyes seeking out Spencer. He was right, the dark circles were back under his eyes, his clothes were wrinkled, his hair sticking up in every direction.

He never turned his head in my direction.

I had wanted to give Spencer some space when he first arrived back. What if something about this case had affected him? I thought that maybe that was the reason he had been avoiding me.

My department always had more paperwork than usual when the team came back from a case, so I wasn’t able to leave until after 7. While I gathered up my things I debated about calling Reid, thinking he was already gone. When I went to take Hotch some files about 20 minutes earlier Spencer was rushing out of the bullpen with his bag clutched in his hands.

Even though I wasn’t expecting to see him, I couldn’t stop myself from looking in the glass doors when I passed by out of habit.

He was sitting at his desk. His head was tilted back, and it looked like his eyes were closed. Even in a position that most people would appear relaxed in, he still seemed incredibly tense.

I can just pop in and tell him hi, I reasoned. Let him know I’m not expecting anything, but I’m here for him.

I had given a lot of thought to my relationship with Spencer over the days he was gone. He was still healing from what happened with Tobias, it wasn’t fair of me to put unreasonable expectations on him right now. I was his friend before anything else. I could put my personal feelings aside if I needed to.

Squaring my shoulders, I pushed the doors open and headed towards his desk. The only person still at their desk was the newest member of the team, SSA Prentiss.

“Hey, y/n,” she greeted.

I had intended to return her greeting, but Spencer’s eyes snapped open and zeroed in on me. The look in his eyes made my blood freeze in my veins. He looked at me like he’d never seen me before, like my presence in this space was annoying to him.

Reid stood abruptly, pulling the strap of his messenger back up on his shoulder before he brushed past me. I had barely processed his actions before he was already leaving the bullpen.

“Spence!” I called. “Hang on!”

He just kept walking. I all but sprinted in my attempt to catch up to him. “Spencer, what the fuck,” I whispered. I knew he had seen me. Once I was closer to him, I reached out and gripped his elbow in an attempt to get his attention.

His entire body jerked as he spun around to face me. “Don’t fucking touch me,” he hissed, venom dripping from his words.

My body recoiled from him like he’d slapped me. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I thought…I just…”

Just then a pair of agents walked past us and they did not bother hiding the curiosity in their eyes.

Spencer’s hand shot out and gripped my forearm, pulling me along behind him. The hold he had on my arm was almost painful, but I couldn’t focus on anything. My brain was still playing his words over and over again.

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

He didn’t stop until we reached the copy room; he jerked the door open and shoved me inside.

“Spencer!” I yanked my arm out of his grip, rubbing the skin with my other hand. “What the fuck is going on?!”

“You thought what?” he snarled taking a step closer to me. “You thought that because I fucked you that means you’re my girlfriend now or something?”

My eyes widened at his words. Something cold and heavy settled in the pit of my stomach while some unnamable feeling made me throat constrict. “N-no, I didn’t think that. I just-“

I had heard Spencer’s laugh so many times before, it used to make me smile every time I heard it. People who hadn’t heard him laugh before might have thought the sound that he made when he heard my words was a laugh. But it wasn’t. It was harsh and brittle. His face was pulled into a smile that was condescending.

“Are you sure, y/l/n? Because you’ve sure been fucking acting like it all day. I feel your pathetic little looks everywhere I turn. Like I kicked your dog or something.”

I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes because…this wasn’t Spencer. This wasn’t my Spencer. My Spencer couldn’t use chopsticks and held my face when he kissed me.

“Oh, my fucking god,” he groaned in disgust. “Are you going to cry, y/n? Are you kidding me right now?”

People always say terrible things happen so fast, it’s what I read in witness statements all the time. This was a terrible thing, but time seemed to slow down for it. I saw everything in perfect detail, I heard every single syllable that came out of this mouth.

When the first tear slid down my cheek that dark, brittle laugh left his mouth again. “If you weren’t being so pathetic, I might feel bad for you.”

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered, wiping at my cheeks.

“Why am I doing what, y/n?” His voice was so much louder than it was before. It didn’t make sense that he brought me to a more private place to avoid attention but now he was…yelling at me. “We fucked, do you get that? That is all! I don’t know what sad little schoolgirl fantasy you built up in your mind, but that night wasn’t special to me.”

Oh. I swallowed down my emotion, my eyes moving away from him to stare down at the floor. I wished I was the sort of person that could lash out whenever I was hurt, to hurt that person back as badly as they hurt me; but it’s just not who I was.

Like a shark that smelled blood in the water, Spencer moved closer to me. His fingers brushed over the strands of hair that hung near my shoulder. “I hate to be the one to break it to you, y/n. You’re not special. You were just a desperate girl that wanted attention. You were a pussy to use.”

I jerked back violently at his words, putting as much distance as I could between us. My entire body felt so cold, my face frozen in a mask of confusion.

Reid scoffed once more before he turned and left the room.

He never looked back at me.

I’m not sure how long I stayed in the copy room after he’d left. It may have been seconds; it could have been hours. I think I was in some sort of shock; my body just autopiloted to a place I felt safe.

I don’t remember unlocking my office door. I don’t remember collapsing in my chair and burying my head in my hands while sobs tore out of my chest.

All I remember is hearing my name a moment before I felt someone standing beside me.

“Hey,” a familiar voice called softly. “What’s wrong, y/n?”

I lifted my head and looked into the worried face of one of my best friends.

Anderson didn’t say anything further, he just pulled me up from my chair and wrapped his arms around me while I cried.

Pain is a universal experience, but everyone feels it differently. Everyone heals differently.

My grandmother used to say, “Everything will be different in the morning.” I was never sure if that was true or not, but today I chose to believe it was. The pain and humiliation that burned in my gut when I remembered Spencer’s words yesterday wouldn’t last forever.

I had made a mistake. I had let someone use my body only to find out that person wasn’t who I thought they were. I wasn’t the first person to make that mistake, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be the last.

Anderson had stayed with me in my office last night while I pulled myself together enough to go home. He didn’t ask what had happened, but he wasn’t stupid, I’m sure he suspected what had broken my heart.

In a perfect world, I would have fallen for someone like Grant Anderson. He was kind, funny, and a constant source of comfort when I felt my world breaking apart.

I had always tried to think of each painful moment as a lesson in some way, and lessons can teach you both good and bad things. Even my worst moments of pain, I couldn’t regret the choices that lead me to them. Every single experience shapes us into who we grow to be.

One day, when this pain in my heart wasn't so sharp, I think I might be able to look back on my night with Spencer Reid without feeling regret. He had been my friend, he was hurting. How I tried to help his suffering was a mark of who I was.

How he caused me pain was a mark of who he was.

Grant had sent me a text around 6 am, asking me if I was going to take some personal time. The BAU wasn't assigned to an active case today, but I had sent some files over to JJ that looked promising. My money was they'd be headed out to New Orleans tomorrow to catch a serial killer once she had reviewed those files.

A very large part of myself wanted to stay home; I wanted to hide from my pain and tend to my wounded heart in private. But no matter how big that part of me was, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t let this pain consume me.

I wouldn’t let it.

With that thought in mind, I squared my shoulders and walked into the headquarters of the FBI.

The hardest moments after a tragedy are the moments after; after the first wave of pain has passed and you’re expected to go back to your normal life. The world never slowed down just because you were in agony.

JJ came by and told me she thought New Orleans looked promising and asked if I could contact the lead detective for any updates then forward those to her.

She wasn’t a profiler but even she knew something was wrong. Right before she walked out of my office she said, “Hey, are you okay?”

It's always so much worse when they ask you if you're okay because they never want an honest answer. So, on top of all the agony, you feel you have to pull off a convincing lie.

“Just tired, JJ.”

I don’t think she quite believed me, but she was kind enough not to push me any further.

A few hours later JJ was on the phone the detective heading up the investigation into the murders happening in the French Quarter. It looked like the team was heading out to New Orleans sometime tomorrow morning.

My job mostly had me working with JJ, but SSA Hotchner was the unit chief. It wasn’t uncommon that I had to get his signature of approval on something JJ needed. So, when it was time to stop by Hotch’s office, I made my way there with no outward reluctance.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Spencer standing around the cluster of desks that housed his teammates. They all called out in greeting after I dropped the files off, but I had only waved over my shoulder and rushed out of the room.

Anderson had been popping in and out of my office all morning. First, he had made excuses for coming by, but much to my amusement he had dropped the façade after he came to ask me if he could borrow a pen…while he was holding a pen.

The biggest dilemma of my day was over coffee. Of course, I hadn’t gotten any sleep last night and I was dragging. Caffeine was obviously the answer.

But if you knew Spencer Reid, you know he was always at the coffee machine in the BAU bullpen.

I could just go downstairs to counterterrorism, I thought idly. But if I’m already in the elevator I could just run down the block and get coffee. JJ wouldn’t mind.

I was still debating my options when I heard a tentative knock on my door.

I am not proud of my actions, I’m truly not. But there is only one person in this whole building who would knock on a door that hesitantly.

The blinds in my office were closed…but I had left the door unlocked.

On instinct, I slid out of my chair, knees hitting the floor, and hid under my desk.

What the fuck are you doing, y/n? I mentally scolded myself. This is a new low, even for you.

It turned out to be pointless anyway.

He didn’t open the door.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Anderson began. “But…”

“I have to tell you?” I supplied after a beat.

He flopped down in the chair on the other side of my desk. “Exactly.”

The small smile that curled up on my face was the first real smile I’d had in almost 24 hours.

How had it only been 24 hours?

“Listen,” he said, bringing my attention back to him. “I know it’s about Reid. I’m not a profiler, but it’s all that makes sense.”

“How’s that?”

One of his dark brown eyebrows raised at the question. “I mean, even if we ignored everything else, the fact that he keeps walking past your office door is a dead giveaway.”

I rubbed my temples with my fingers. “Grant, I can’t right now.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t,” I whispered out. “I don’t…I need to hold it together. Just for a while longer.”

Grant reclined his back against the chair, his eyes surveying me. “Fine. But I don’t like seeing you like this.”

I don’t like feeling like this.

“Alright,” he sighed, rising to his feet. “I have to go run some sort of errand for Garcia.”

I didn’t bother asking, he’d say it was “classified.”

All the air seemed to leave the room when he opened the door.

Spencer was standing on the other side, his hand up like he had been about to knock.

Grant’s entire body jerked while Spencer’s eyes widened. “What are you doing here?” my friend demanded.

The most startling thing was how surprised Spencer looked at Grant’s tone; like it was some oddity that one of my closest friends would have been angry on my behalf.

“C-can I talk to you?” he asked, his voice squeaking on the last word.

I licked my lips, weighing my options. How could he hurt me any worse? I gave Grant a nod, signaling that I was okay. He moved out of the way, granting Spencer entry, but I knew my friend; he wouldn’t be far.

The man in front of me waited until the door was shut before he spoke. “Did I do something?”

My eyes had dropped down to my hands only to shoot up to his face at those words. What?

“To make you upset?” he clarified. “I…you’ve been avoiding me all day. And I know you were in here earlier when I knocked.”

His words tore at the bandages I had wrapped my heart in, ripping my wound open again. All I could do was wrap my arms around my middle in an attempt to physically hold myself together. “W-why would I want to talk to you?”

If possible, he looked even more confused than I felt. “What is going on?” He took a step towards me. “Baby-“

My reaction to hearing that word come out of his mouth was visceral. I shot to my feet, almost stumbling over my chair in an attempt to put more distance between us.

Spencer froze. “I…I don’t understand,” he pleaded. “Please, y/n, you have to talk to me. It…it hurts me to see you hurt.”

Any work I had done to repair my heart was destroyed at his words. I never should have let him inside. The look on his face twisted a knife in my stomach. He had the audacity to look distraught over my tears like he wasn’t the cause of them.

“I know I said I’d call but I was just so busy with the case…I thought…you’d understand.”

I ran my tongue over my teeth while my eyes blinked rapidly in an attempt to clear the tears that were clouding my vision. If I couldn’t remember everything about yesterday so clearly, I would doubt that the man standing before me now was the same monster that spewed venom at me yesterday.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Reid.”

He flinched at my use of his last name. “I want you to tell me what happened.”

“Why?” I rasped out. “Do you want it to hurt more? Why are you doing this to me?”

Spencer took another step towards me, his hands were outstretched. "I don't-"

"Don't fucking touch me." I tried to fill my words with the same venom his words had yesterday when he told me the same thing, but my words came out as a broken plea.

He blinked and dropped his hands to his sides. “I deserve to know why you’re treating me like this.”

A sad sort of laugh came out of my mouth at his words.

Somehow the non-acknowledgment of my pain hurt worse than anything. “Do I mean so little to you that you forgot our conversation yesterday?”

Spencer shook his head, his hair flopping around his ears. “No, I didn’t talk to you yesterday.”

What? “Yes, you did.” My voice shook but my words still tumbled out of my mouth. “You pulled me into the copy room and told me…you told me that our night together was nothing…you told me that I was nothing.”

His brows knit together, his mouth popping open. “What are you talking about? You’re…you’re everything, y/n.”

“Reid, please…I know I’m pathetic, but I can’t take this. I can’t…” My shoulders started to shake. “Please don’t make me feel this again.”

“Pathetic?” he questioned. “What are you talking about? Is this…is this some sort of game? You don’t want to be with me…so you do this? Did Anderson tell you about my mom?”

“What?”

“My mom has schizophrenia. Is that why you’re trying to make me feel crazy?”

My brows knitted together. “I…Nobody told me about your mom. I’m not trying to make you feel crazy. And I wanted to be with you. But you told me you didn’t want to be with me.”

He still denied my words. “No, I haven’t talked to you. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“You avoided me all day yesterday. When I finally came to talk to you in the bullpen you walked past me like I wasn't there. Then I went after you." I held up my arm, pushing my sleeve up to show him the finger-shaped bruises. "You dragged me into the copy room. You told me I was pathetic. You mocked me. You told me I was just some girl…some pussy for you to use."

He kept flinching at my words like they were whips leaving lashes all over his body.

“You told me I was nothing. You told me our night together was nothing.”

“No.” He continued to shake his head. “I…I wouldn’t say that. But I especially wouldn’t say that to you. You’re wrong.”

I just shrugged. “Ask Prentiss. She saw me follow you out of the bullpen yesterday. Ask Garcia to pull the security footage. There’s probably a recording of you breaking my heart.”

“No, no, no,” he muttered over and over again.

“I don’t know why you’re pretending you don’t remember, Spencer.”

He didn’t say anything else; he just turned and left my office, slamming the door behind him.

JJ was suspicious when I called her from my office phone instead of just walking over to see her, but she didn’t ask any questions about the mysterious illness I told her had hit me. She just told me that she hoped I felt better and to take all the time I needed.

I knew that the team was set to fly out after JJ presented the case at 10 am in the morning, meaning that going back to work tomorrow wouldn’t be too hard. No matter how badly I hurt now, I couldn’t lay down and cry about it.

Part of me was afraid if I laid down, I wouldn’t be able to get back up.

With that in mind, I would give myself today to feel the full force of my heartbreak. I would cry when I wanted to, I’d watch sad movies and make myself cry more, I’d eat junk food that ultimately only made me feel worse. I would feel this pain for one day.

I told myself Spencer Reid didn’t deserve more of my tears than that. I told myself that over and over again until I almost believed it.

Anderson had been texting me all day to check-in, I had even gotten a nice call from Penelope Garcia asking me if I needed anything.

The most unexpected call came at 8 pm that night from a number I didn’t recognize.

“Y/n?” the voice asked. “This is Prentiss.”

Oh. “Oh. Hi, Emily.”

“Listen, I called for two reasons. The first is that I wanted to check in on you, and the second is…the second is a bit more personal.”

Oh. I cleared my throat. “I’m as good as I can be, Emily.”

She sighed. "I figured. Which brings me to my second question. Did something happen between you and Reid?" After a few moments of my silence, Prentiss hurried on. "You don't have to tell me. It's just that…Reid came up to me this afternoon and demanded to know if I had seen you come into the bullpen to talk to him yesterday."

“What did you say?”

“Um, I told him yes. Because I did. What is going on?”

My fingers picked at the edges of the blanket in my lap. “I don’t know. Anderson thinks something is up with him.”

“We all think something is up with him.”

Her confirmation didn’t make me feel any better.

I arrived to work the following morning at 9 am, a full thirty minutes later than usual. JJ had stopped by my office to see how I was doing, followed by a visit from Prentiss. Garcia had teetered into the room about 15 minutes after Emily left, giving me a frosted cookie that was bigger than my hand.

“Cookies help,” she had said confidently.

I hoped she was right.

Anderson popped in last. "Hey, ooh." He skidded to a stop. "You look terrible."

I shot him a withering look. “Thank you so much, Grant.”

“You know what I mean.”

“…That I look terrible?”

He nodded, his lips twitching at the corners. “Anyway, Hotch needs the mileage forms for the SUVs. I can run it over to him.”

My teasing tone vanished. “I’ve got it, Grant.”

I wasn’t sure if that was true, but I had to believe it was. Or at the very least it would be soon.

It took every ounce of will power I had not to let my eyes wander over to his desk when I entered the bullpen. I could almost feel him looking at me. It went against every natural instinct I had to ignore him…but what else could I do?

Hotch wasn’t in his office when I knocked but the door was unlocked. He never minded if we walked in when he was out if we just had something to drop off. I tried to find an open space on his desk to set the forms when I heard the door squeak on its hinges behind me.

I spun around, my startled eyes connecting with a pair of sharp brown eyes.

“Oh!” I exclaimed. “I’m sorry, Agent Gideon. I didn’t see you there.”

He gave me a small smile, but that sharp look didn’t leave his eyes. “No, I don’t suppose you would have,” he said simply. “It’s hard to notice anyone else when you’re trying so hard to not notice someone.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Gideon just nodded. “I’m going to tell you something. Now, you can take these words to heart, and I hope you do, or you can take them as the ramblings of…a sentimental old man.”

I shifted my weight from foot to foot. “Okay.”

"A lot of people think that the most important thing you can have in a relationship is love," he began, his eyes never wavering from mine. "In my not so humble opinion, they are incorrect. You see, y/l/n, love fades. Love isn't a thing that can stay in one form forever. It's always changing… its fluid."

“Sir, I don’t-“

“You know what the most important thing is?” he asked as if I hadn’t spoken. “Mercy.”

I just blinked at him. “I…I don’t think I understand.”

He just smiled at me, his hands moving into the pockets of his jeans. “Maybe not yet, but I think you will.” Gideon’s gaze broke from mine, looking through the windows of Hotch’s office to settle on Reid. His head was bent over his desk while his fingers ran over the pages in front of him. “He’ll need mercy, y/n. More than anything else.”

Agent Gideon turned back to look at me. “He’ll need it from all of us, but I don’t think he’ll need it from anyone more than you.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say in response. I truly didn’t understand what he was talking about.

With one final smile, he turned and left the office, leaving me with my thoughts.

Agent Gideon’s words were still swirling through my mind the following afternoon when I got another odd call from Agent Prentiss.

“Hey, y/l/n,” she began, her tone annoyed. “Listen, have you heard from Reid?”

My entire body stilled. “No, I haven’t. Why?”

“He was supposed to meet us at the plane. Morgan and I are waiting for him but he isn’t answering his cell.”

I hated the worry that wormed its way through my heart at her words. “I’m sorry, Em. I haven’t talked to him.”

She clicked her tongue against her teeth. “It was a long shot. Thanks, y/n.”

For several minutes after she hung up, I just stared at my phone. Don’t, I told myself firmly. He’s not your problem.

Spencer Reid wasn't my problem…but I couldn't just stop caring about him overnight. That's not the sort of person I was.

I kept telling myself I was calling to check on him for me, because I was the sort of person who checked on their friends.

It didn’t make it easier when he didn’t answer my calls either.

The need to silence the shrill ringing of my phone pulled me from my sleep the following night. I still hadn't heard from Spencer, but Prentiss had called me this morning to tell me Reid had gone to see one of his friends and "didn't have a signal." Her tone indicated she thought he was full of shit.

My eyes cracked open to look at the caller ID. When I read the name of the person calling me, my fingers frantically pushed “accept.”

“Spencer?” I asked, my voice still thick with sleep. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything.”

I sat up in my bed, my eyes looking at the clock on my nightstand. “It’s after 3 am. Did something happen with the case?”

He cleared his throat. “Um, yeah. The unsub is a woman. We tried to catch her tonight…but we can try again tomorrow.”

“You’ll get her.”

The only sound I heard was his uneven breathing. “That’s not why I called.”

My tongue ran over my lips while I pulled the blankets further up my chest like they would be able to protect me in some way. "Why did you call?"

“Do you think people deserve forgiveness?”

“I…I think it depends.”

“On what?” he asked desperately.

“On what they did…on if they’re sorry.” I cleared my throat. “Did you do something, Spencer?”

“I made a mistake.”

Somehow, I knew he wasn’t just talking about what had happened between us. He sounded just like I remembered him sounding when I wrapped my arms around him that night he came to my house.

His voice broke when he spoke again. “I’m so lost, y/n,” he sobbed. “I’m so lost and I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

I fought to control my own emotions when he spoke. No matter what happened my heart still ached at the pain in his voice. “You might be lost, Spencer. But you’re not alone. Your team…your family found you. They brought you home. They’re still here for you. They’ll bring you home again.”

We sat in silence for a few moments, both of us lost in our own dark sea of pain.

“I don’t deserve to ask you to forgive me,” he said at last. “So, I won’t ask. I don’t even…I don’t even remember what I said.”

I think my subconscious mind had been connecting these pieces together for a while because in the darkness of my bedroom at almost 4 am, things finally began to take shape. The darkness that hung over Spencer was finally starting to take form.

“Just focus on the case, Spencer. We can talk when you get home.”

“Wait,” he called out. “Don’t go. Not yet.”

I don’t think I ever will.

The clock on my wall said it was just after 7 pm the following night when there was a knock on my door. Frowning, I made my way across the room, pressing my eye to the peephole, slightly surprised at who I saw.

I had figured he would come for me at some point, but I hadn’t expected it to be the very moment he got back into town.

…but it isn’t the very moment, I reminded myself. JJ had texted saying their plane was landing at 5 pm this afternoon.

He didn’t knock again but he didn’t move away from the door either. I think he knew I was there, just out of his reach, debating my options.

Opening yourself up to something that might hurt you is one of the most foolish and brave things a person can do. When someone you cared about broke your trust, how could you put your heart back into those very same hands?

I remembered Gideon’s words from that afternoon before they had left for New Orleans.

Over the past several days I had realized that that day in the copy room it wasn’t actually my Spencer that said those things. Something dark and painful had clawed its way into him and was trying to hollow him out.

That dark thing didn’t deserve my mercy…but I think Spencer did.

With a deep breath, I started to unlock my front door, grateful he couldn’t see that my hands were shaking. He looked tired but a different sort of tired than I was used to seeing. Weariness had crawled underneath his skin and was draining him slowly, but he didn’t look as defeated as he did the last time I saw him.

No matter how many times I had thought about this moment, I still wasn’t sure what to say

“I came…I came to explain.” He said at last.

I was still frozen in place watching him shift uncomfortably. I knew he wanted me to invite him in…but, how could I? Trusting him enough to talk to him was one thing but how could I allow him into the only place I felt safe?

Gideon’s words played through my mind again. Mercy.

Taking a step back from the door, I waved him inside. I moved to sit on the couch, but Spencer just stood in front of me.

"When Tobias abducted me…" he trailed off, balling his hands into fists. "He had dissociative identity disorder. It's much more rare than people think. Whenever it's been observed under clinical settings, the most that has been observed is 2. Tobias had three.

The first was him, the next was his father, and the last was the Archangel, Raphael. Tobias’s father abused him horribly… Charles broke something inside of him, he fractured him. The only way he could survive was to start abusing drugs. He took them intravenously.”

Gideon's words had started to weave the pieces together, but it was actually Spencer's words from our night together that cemented everything in place. “I don’t want you to see what he did to me.”

"He thought he was being kind when he injected me." Spencer crossed his arms over his chest, tapping his tongue against his upper lip. "You hear about addiction; I could tell you the statistics on people who suffer from opioid addiction. But I never in a million years thought it would be me.”

I didn’t realize I was crying until a tear fell from my face and hit the back of my hand.

“I’m not the person who gets addicted to things. I’m not the stereotypical picture of an addict…but that’s what I am, y/n. I’m an addict.” He reached into his front pocket, pulling out a small coin. “This is a newcomer’s chip…from narcotics anonymous. You get it at your very first meeting. I got this an hour ago.”

“Spencer,” I rasped out. “I’m so sorry.”

He came to sit beside me on the couch then, his hand covering one of mine. "I thought I could handle it. I convinced myself it wasn't that bad, but it was. What I did to you was reprehensible, y/n. And I am so sorry." Spencer's voice broke, his shoulders shaking with repressed emotion. "I will be sorry about that day for the rest of my life. I don't deserve any sort of second chance."

I turned completely towards him, throwing my arms around him. “Yes, you do, Spencer,” I whispered into his hair. “You do.”

This night felt so much different than the first night I held him like this while he cried. I didn't know the cause of his pain that night, but it broke my heart nevertheless; now that I knew the pain inside this beautiful man…I think the pain I had been feeling was tearing at my soul.

Addiction doesn’t discriminate. It’s a disease that will sink its hooks into anyone and refuse to let go. Spencer had made a mistake; his actions had gutted me. But…was it really him? Or was it the monster that has hold of him? It was in these thoughts that I finally began to understand the weight of Agent Gideon's words. "He’ll need mercy from everyone…but from no one more than you.”

I wasn’t in love with Spencer…at least not yet, but I did love him. In those moments when loving someone felt impossible mercy was the most important thing you could offer. I had to show him my mercy while he moved through this…because I knew love would come later.

“I’m here for you, Spencer. I want to help you in any way I can.”

He pulled back, his wide brown eyes meeting mine. “I can’t ask you to battle my addiction for me, y/n. I wouldn’t even if I could.” His voice was earnest when he spoke, his hands coming up to cup my face with a touch that seemed so familiar. “I promise that I’m going to try. I’m going to mess up at some point, some moments will be harder than others. I can’t…I can’t be perfect at this. But I promise I will never stop trying.”

“You don’t have to be perfect, Spencer. You’re not worthy because you’re perfect. You’re worthy because you’re…you.”

His eyes were soft when they ran over my face, his hands coming up to cup my jaw again. “I can leave, if you want…I know you’ll need time…I can’t expect-“

I leaned forward to brush my lips against his. “Don’t go,” I whispered. “Just be with me. Be here with me, Spence.”

I'm not sure who moved first. It was like all the pain in my body gave way to such a burning need that it almost consumed me. Our lips barely broke apart when I pulled him from the couch, guiding him to my bedroom; our actions were so similar to what they had been on that first night that felt like a lifetime ago.

But everything was different.

My bedroom was lit only by the dusky orange glow from the setting sun. I didn’t get to question Spencer about anything. His hands moved urgently against my body, ridding me of my shirt and bra. I unbuttoned his shirt, careful not to push it off of his shoulders. My nails scored his chest while his mouth moved down to kiss the column of my throat.

Spencer’s knee was wedged between my thighs when his mouth closed over my nipple. My hands tried to move down to undo his pants but when his teeth tugged at the tip of my breast all I could do was whimper.

“Spencer. Please.”

His eyes opened and lifted to meet mine. He looked nervous for a moment before he started to kiss down my body. I lifted my hips to help him remove my pants. When his fingers hooked into the waistband of my panties, I realized he had never seen me in the light before.

I felt his index finger trace down my slit, spreading me open under his gaze. He swallowed thickly when one of his fingers entered me, pulling a moan from my throat.

“Can I?”

“Yes. Yes.” I wasn’t sure what he was asking, but I would have given him anything in that moment.

I wasn’t ready when I felt his tongue tentatively lick my pussy. My hips bucked off the bed causing him to chuckle.

“Hold still,” he whispered as he spread me wider. He inserted another finger into my heat while his tongue fluttered around my clit.

“I’m trying,” I whined. “Fuck. I thought you said you hadn’t done this before.”

Spencer lifted his head to press a kiss to my inner thigh. “I haven’t,” he replied, his voice needlessly smug. Before I could comment his lips closed around my clit again.

My fingers were tangled in his soft brown hair while my hips rocked against his mouth. “Spencer, I’m close. I want-fuck! I want to cum when you’re inside me.”

He rose up on his knees, his hands moving to his belt. He had looked reluctant to leave his current position, but I needed him now. "You can eat my pussy to your heart's content later."

Spencer’s hand froze, his eyes snapping up to meet mine.

“What?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. You just…you said later.” The confusion must have been plain on my face because he clarified, “I can have you later too.”

My arousal was still pulsing in my body but now something else was too. I knew he didn’t mean sex when he said he could have me; Spencer meant he could have me, he could be with me.

With that thought, I urged him up my body so I could press my lips to his again. We were still kissing when I felt the blunt tip of his cock brush against me before he slowly pushed inside of me.

“You…I didn’t know something could feel like this,” he said when his hips settled against mine,

I didn’t either.

I think he must have felt the same frantic need I did. His thrusts were forceful as he drove into me. I was already so close that I could feel myself approaching my peak.

“Spence,” I whimpered out.

“I know, I feel you. You’re right there.” He reached between our bodies and rubbed his thumb across my clit.

My back arched as my orgasm washed over me, my mouth hung open in a silent scream. After a few more thrusts, I felt Spencer find his release too. He whispered my name against my hair while he slowly came down, pressing soft kisses all over any part of my skin he could reach.

The frantic mood from before had lifted, but something still felt urgent. Spencer had gotten up a few moments ago to dispose of the condom in the bathroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

He hadn’t removed his clothes again, and something about the energy in the room made me put my clothes back on too.

I was sitting at the end of my bed when he came out of the bathroom a few moments later. He looked resigned and…almost defeated.

“Spence,” I started but he just shook his head.

He came to stand in front of me before he spoke. “I have to…I can’t hide from you.”

I stood up before he could move. “You’re not hiding anything, Spencer. Not anymore.”

He pressed his lips against mine again. I think he understood the gravity of my words and what revealing his body meant. He knew I’d see him; I’d see all of him. But whenever I looked into his eyes when he started to open his shirt, I felt like I saw more of him than I ever had.

Everything he felt was floating through his amber-colored eyes. His hands shook and a few tears leaked out of his eyes when he pulled his shirt from his body.

The bend of his left elbow was covered in bruises in all different phases of healing. It looked like one of his veins might even have blown.

When I brought my eyes back up to his, I found them shut tight.

“Hey,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his middle, careful of his arm. “Spencer, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” he breathed out.

I only held him tighter. “It will be. One day it will be.” I let out a shaky breath of my own before I spoke again. “You know I’m going to fall in love with you one day, right?”

His body jerked at my words, a tiny sob leaving his mouth.

“It’s true, Spencer. You have to know that. You’re worthy of love. You’re worthy of my love.”

He pulled back from me, his hands cradling my face while his eyes searched mine. “I’m not. I’m not worthy…but I’m going to try to be.”

The slashes and cracks in my heart didn’t feel so painful when I kissed him again. It wasn’t my job to fix him. It wasn’t his job to fix me.

But I could show him mercy while he fought his battle. He deserved that.

Everyone deserves that.

Taglist: @rachelxwayne @pinkdiamond1016 @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace @nanocoool @andiebeaword @imjusthereformggcontent @rainsong01 @violentvulgarvolatile @mys2425 @al3xmnd @imfalling-inlove @cielo1984 @shadyladyperfection @kissingvalentino @goofygubler14 @hopebaker

#Spencer Reid #Spencer Reid Angst #Spencer Reid x you #Spencer Reid x reader #Spencer Reid x y.n #Dr. Spencer Reid #Dr. Spencer Reid Angst #Dr. Spencer Reid Fluff #Dr. Spencer Reid Smut #Spencer Reid fluff #Spencer Reid Smut #Criminal minds imagine #Spencer Reid imagine #Criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds smut #Spencer Reid fan fiction #criminal minds fan fiction

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sullys-nose-hair · 2 years

Text

Toby woby x Rosey toesy part one🥺🤞 @nonotthebasement a little short and unfunny but who cares

Reaching their small, tan colored hands they gripped the rough time of the roof, some of them causing the material of the tiles to cut through some of the layers of their skin, blood pouring out of the wounds staining some of the roof with the crimson substance.

Lifting their small 2 ft legs their booty cheeks slapped together, the skin on skin sound erupting throughout the quiet neighborhood causing the short haired person to cringe a bit and pause in their actions, listening if anyone came out of their houses or if any rapid animals came nipping at their small 1cm toes which would cause the to squeal like a pig and most likely wake the whole neighborhood, if their booty cheeks pounding against one another didn't already wake them up.

They already know that they is gonna be a milf when they grow up, they ain't gonna let their fat, juicy ass go to waste brushing to see PERFECT AND CUTE thoughts away bc their the most amazingest most toe curling mouth watering person to ever exist, who cares if they be fatherless and motherless at least they have a fat ass that makes gun shot sounds every time the move their SHORT AND PERFECT AND CUTE legs.

Lifting themselves up with muscle they have they twerked their way to their child hold friends ugly ass beas-i mean Tobias's room window and knocked on the window with their CUTE AND ABSOLUTELY PERFECT tan hands, the movement going to their ass and making it do that skin against skin sound that they be hearing all day long. It gets tiring being a thick ass bitch sometimes, especially when they only be 4'7🥺🤞

Opening the window Tobitch cutely pulled his CUTE AND PERFECT 4'7 friend making them fall cutely on his bed, making that familiar gun shot sounds coming out of their ass, Tobitch watching it jiggle like the beast he is.

Bringing his ugly, boney hand up he smacked their fat ass and bit is crusty lip when he saw how it jiggled, a small pile of crusty forming on his boney lap.

"OW YOU ASSHOLE WHY'D YOU DO THAT!? THIS WHY YOUR MAMA A BURNT CHICKEN NUGGET '' the 4'7 person with the fat ass yelled angrily with their breedable and submissive voice.

" S-s-sssss-sssssss-sorry my bebeh growl can't control myself when hat fat ass is basically in m-my face." Tobitch said darkly in his alpha voice.

"Bro really turned into a snake for a moment there." Rose said moving their SMALL CUTE AND PERFECT 4'7 body so that they were sitting up and looking at Tobitch with their usual submissive and breedable expression.

"Whateva" Tobitch rolled his eyes flipping his wrist and tucking some of his non existent hair over his ear, trying to look cool but miserably failing bc he's a stupid idiot.

Jumping off his bed they cutely listened to their ass cheeks slap together, hearing the familiar gun shot sound while they could feel Tobiches stare on their ass, probably watching it jiggle again. Such a weirdo🙄

Turning around their big tits flopped together as they stared at him with big eyes, their 4'7 frame looking smaller as they wrapped their 1inch hands around their arms. Hitting their lip sexually.

"Why the fuck is it so cold in here? Did the cold empty space that your brain should be in finally spreading to your house?" They aid in their sot high uwu voice that discord mods love so much🥺

Sometimes they forgot that they were even doing the voice, spending so much time getting money from discord mods. They did other things for the mods but we'll get into that another time.

"Ugh, how rude is that? Anyway, my dick was just hot so I had to cook it down" rolling his eyes like the 'bad' bitch he is, his sassy tone made Roe want to bitch slap his face. But there's no point in doing that, it's not like the crusty, musty bitch could feel pain anyway.

"Mhm, ok crusty toes" cutely making their leaves outta his bedroom door that was just so tall compared to their 4'7 frame, they paid no mind to the sound of their ass making the gunshot noise.

Ain't no way they are showing up to this crusty, musty, dusty, sweaty, Walmart shoes, fatherless, sister less and ugly masks house without getting some food in their stomach that's inside of their smol 4'7 body.

The fatherless fucker better be having some toe curling chips or sum.

#creepypasta #creepypasta meme #homicidal liu #jeff the killer #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta thirst #eyeless jack #im a simp #laughing jack #obsesión #ticci toby

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kiara-w · 3 years

Text

RaccoonInnit. (a Rewind one-shot?)

This a ficlet based on the fanfic Rewind by @a-non-ymouswriter, and exploring what if Tommy and Tubbo were hybrids in the Rewind universe. Especially with Tommy being very clingy because of trauma.

TW (Trigger warning) for emotional abuse, manipulation and mention of self-harm.

Wanna read more?

Apologies for any grammar errors, english is not my first language.

—————

Hybrids.

They come in many shapes and sizes, including different abilities that help with survival. But with every advantage comes a disadvantage, or a necessity to keep living.

And for Tommy Innit, there was one necessity that always made him feel ashamed.

He isn’t clingy, at least not all the time. But when spring is over, and the leaves start to fall, holding on to precious things is necessary to feel at ease and ready for the dangerous seasons. It's something that raccoon hybrids often do, hug their family or friends tightly at a young age to feel protected, and then offer protection when they reach adulthood.

If he could change one thing about his life, it would be that.

********

"You too, huh?" Dream asks awkwardly, Theo's head is buried in one of his shoulders with his arms close around his body.

Tobias is in front of him, his eyes look away and he doesn't give him an answer. He only pulls Tommy closer to him, even though the boy is already clutching his left arm very strongly.

Sapnap and George try not to laugh next to him, but the other people around don't find the situation as funny as they do. They are supposed to have a meeting after all. And both Tobias and Dream manage to sit with the two people still clinging to them.

Well, this will be difficult. He thinks as he notices how Theo closes his grip a little more tightly and hears faintly the sound of a growl. But he is not upset by it.

The thing that made him upset was finding out that Theo had hidden that need from them. George had been the first one to notice him a little distant, but by the time they really thought something was wrong, they found the man curled up in his bed around blankets, ears twitching, ringtail bristling, and awfully whimpering.

None of them were animal hybrids, but that doesn't mean they couldn’t have asked, that's why Dream was angrier at himself when he demanded Theo for an explanation.

"I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable." His protege had said with a low gaze and clearly embarrassed.

After hearing that, Dream didn't hesitate to give permission to be hugged.

********

Tobias feels angry.

He is feeling a lot of things actually. Happy being hugged by Tommy, frustrated at the sight of Dream with Theo, and hurt by seeing the aggressive look in the eyes of his old best friend. Unlike Tommy in his arms, who almost seemed to be sleeping with a faint smile.

But I deserve that look, don't I? He remembers one day, very long ago, when Theo asked him with an embarrassed face if he could hug him for the rest of the day. What was his response?

"I don't think that’s a good idea, we have a meeting discussing your situation, remember?" George's house had been burned and Dream had asked for consequences. "Besides, it would look embarrassing."

But by the time he saw the dirt pillar reaching the sky, he wished nothing more than to be able to hold Tommy one more time and never let go. He would've been more clingy than his friend would’ve ever needed.

And then Dream showed up with him. The strike of anger and jealousy that he felt during the winter days after, thinking of how his friend would hug that smug bastard looking for safety.

That mental picture always made him regret so many things.

********

Dream knew exactly what to do when Tommy, face red and looking down, grabbed his hoodie in silence.

In the free time he got between his visits to Logstedshire, he had read a lot of things about raccoon hybrids. How they tend to be aggressive towards people they distrust, how they used to find small places to sleep often away from big groups of people, how needy they could become during cold days.

He hugged the boy, moving himself and Tommy to the small tent to avoid the rain.

Sitting in the bed, he stroked the boy's hair and ears, and he noticed small sobs coming from him.

"Why?" Tommy's voice sounded hurt, but he didn't move away. "Why do I only have you?"

Dream only pulled him closer. "Because I'm your friend, Tommy." and the boy only cried more.

They stayed like that for quite a while, until Tommy's breathing got slower. What started with him clutching Dream's hoodie, ended with him hugging the man during his sleep.

After that, hugging Dream became a habit during the rainy days.

********

Tubbo woke up with a jolt when he heard a clap of thunder. The hard sound made an echo in the presidential office.

It was raining a lot those days. But as he looked at the window, a sudden fear rose up inside him as he remembered something. He almost collided with Ranboo as he exited the room.

"Tubbo? Wha- What's wrong? Are you-"

"I need to go to Tommy." He quickly walked past him.

"Tommy?" Ranboo's voice was close to a whisper. But he hurried up to follow him. "Why do you want to see him?"

Tubbo tried to ignore how soft the voice of the hybrid had turned. "It's raining. He gets clingy when it's cold and he needs someone to hold onto."

That's when Ranboo blocked his way, meters before he could get to the front door. "Step away, please." Tommy needed him, but the tall man grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Tubbo, he is- You can't go see him."

"Why not?" His voice grew louder and he felt irritated as he took one step forward. "He can't come back, but that doesn't mean I can't go to him. Let me through!"

"I'm not letting you go there, Tubbo." His tone was firm. After all, if he exited the building, Ranboo wouldn't be able to follow.

But goat hybrids are stubborn, especially when something is standing in their way. His horns tackled Ranboo's chest strongly, but his tall friend didn't move.

"I need to see him Ranboo!" He put all his strength into trying to push him. "I shouldn't have exiled him! He is all alone, don't you get it?!" Tubbo tried to ignore the tears running down his cheeks. "Wilbur- he's gone, Phil and Techno are not here either. I- I'm the only he can..."

He dropped to his knees as Ranboo held him close. "He is too proud to admit it. He- He bites himself to try to avoid asking. He did that a lot in Pogtopia."

"I- I know. You told me."

"Please, let me go."

"I can't."

"Why?..." How did he forget the answer?

"Tubbo," Ranboo embraced him, his voice sounding choked as well. "He's gone."

********

Philza turned around when he felt his cape being pulled.

They'd just finished their part of the outing and his son stood behind him with that horrible smiling mask covering his face.

"Tommy?" he talked to him in the softest tone he could, like treating a small animal that could flee at any second.

It was strange when Dream left Tommy with Phil for the mission of the day, and it was even stranger that his son had started a contact after being silent for months. He missed his voice, louder than Techno’s and warm like Wil’s. Ender, he missed him so much. Even so, he tried to hide the hope in his words. "Do you need something?"

Just let me hear you. Talk to me, please. But the boy didn't answer, his ears were down and his ring tail moved slowly. "We're close to the base, I know you want to wait for Dream but it's getting cold-"

He stopped as Tommy’s head hit Phil's chest weakly, and his hand grabbed part of his robe.

It's something that raccoon hybrids often do.

Philza couldn't resist a fond smile.

He realized that his hands were shaking when they rose up to touch the boy’s hair, and he caressed his ears as gently as he could.

Closing his eyes, forcing some painful memories away, he remembered his younger boy's face, blue eyes with a shy and pleading look to be held. He remembered the warmth of holding him during the rainy days when he was little. And when he remembered how Tommy called him dad a long time ago, Phil's eyes started to tear up.

His arms hugged Tommy strongly. Avians had instincts too. Wrap their loved ones in their wings it served to provide, or in his case, feel comfort. And so his black wings surrounded his son in a tight embrace as he breathed in the boy's hair.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Forgive me, please don't go. He wanted to scream those words but for some reason, he couldn't. He felt Tommy shaking and his grip tightened a little bit more.

He didn't want to let go, no if it meant the boy going back with Dream.

He could kill him, he thought. Once Techno came back, they could end with the nightmare that surrounded them and his son would finally be safe.

But his thoughts of hope were interrupted when he noticed how Tommy was struggling under him. And he barely managed to avoid the swing of the ax directed at his heart.

"Tommy?! What-?" The boy was crying away from Phil. Tears dropped below the mask, he listened to ugly breathing as Tommy hyperventilated, his tail moved aggressively and he heard a growl coming from him.

He forgot that Tommy was claustrophobic.

"Mate, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

Tommy's ears moved quickly to the side and his head turned. Dream was walking towards them with Techno next to him. And before he noticed, the boy ran towards the other masked man and tackled him into a hug.

Could he really call himself Tommy's father? Shame and frustration filled his broken heart as he watched Tommy being petted by the man he hated. "It's fine, Toms. I'm here." Dream seemed ignorant of the deadly looks he got from him and Techno. "We took longer than we thought, but I knew you could hold on."

As sick as Dream’s games were, that was the moment Phil started to question if he really deserved to have Tommy back.

********

Technoblade thought that Tommy was running at him.

It was a foolish thought, the voices told him, but it still hurt. He would've asked what happened, but when he saw Phil's look of regret and frustration, he could get an idea.

Especially when it also happened to him a few weeks ago. The last rains started to become poisonous to every living thing that wasn't crimson. Lucky for them, the most basic armor could offer protection, but the durability would drop quickly.

And because of that, he, Tommy, and Dream were waiting for the rain to pass inside some caves next to a mountain.

The green man went deep, looking for coal to make torches in case mobs would spawn in the dark. That left the piglin hybrid with Tommy. The raccoon boy curled up against a wall, hugging his legs with his mask covering his face.

And he sat next to him. Not too close to touch, but enough to notice the boy shaking, the fur on his ring tail was bristling as well.

"I'm here, you know." He told him. Just like his father, he had noticed the way the boy fiddled with his tail and tried to hide his ears in his hoodie. "We don't have to talk, and I won't hug you back if you don't want to."

In the past, when Tommy's pride got the worst of him, Techno would always tell Wilbur or Phil. It was his way of compensating for the fact that he didn't like that kind of physical contact.

But at that moment, he was more than willing to let Tommy hold him as much as he needed to, even if it would take all of his strength not to hug back, even if the boy despised his existence, and even when he knew that he had lost all right to call Tommy his brother. He wanted to be there for him.

But the raccoon hybrid kept quiet. Only when he looked at him he realized that he was sleeping. Shivering, but his breathing was slow.

"Tech, I'm cold." He frowned at the memory. The voices began to speak louder, demanding that he give some warmth.

Techno's eyes stared at him softly. Despite not being sixteen anymore, Tommy still looked so small next to him. His arm surrounded him, but before making contact, another memory came.

Suddenly, it was not the boy resting anymore, he was curled up on the floor, shaking, blood dripping from his nose, and with several bruises on his face.

"It stays in the pit."

His hand backed off immediately. A wave of quiet anger filled his mind. Some of the voices were cruel to remind him of that sight.

Blue eyes saw him with anger once. And then again in a plain, in a little refuge whose name Techno had already forgotten. Tommy looked at him that way when he mocked his pain. And that look would be engraved in his heart for the rest of his days, he wouldn't forget.

How could he? When the boy's face was getting hard to remember recently, always covered in a mask and staying silent.

Technoblade felt the most pain at the thought of forgetting Tommy's face.

He stood up and left his cape around the boy carefully. He walked until he reached the exit of the caves. It was still raining, so he leaned on one of the walls and watched the raindrops slowly kill everything.

He breathed, ordering his thoughts and calming every single voice. Their mission wasn't over. The best thing he could do was not lose his focus.

A few minutes later, he heard footsteps behind him, and the smiling mask appeared in his vision. Dream held his cape in front of him.

It was a single second of confusion. He grabbed the cape and the masked man spoke, making Techno's rage rise once again.

"Don't show compassion now, Technoblade. You once told him to die, and I pushed him to keep living."

Dream went back to the caves without expecting an answer, leaving him alone with the screaming in his head, every voice demanding blood, and never getting the satisfaction.

Techno liked to consider himself a calm individual, able to control his emotions better than others. But the voices called him a hypocrite when he pictured all the ways he could kill the masked man beside him.

********

Tobias blinks a couple of times when he feels a movement by his side.

And he almost screams seeing Theo clutching part of his shirt, eyes closed, and sleeping very peacefully over his shoulder.

For a second he considers the possibility of him dreaming, but he remembers entering Tubbo's house just minutes ago, he sat on the big couch feeling tired, and he didn't hear Theo come in.

He must be waiting for him. He recalls Dream asking Theo to wait since there were other matters to be discussed. And Tommy had gone with Tubbo to do other things as well.

A little part of him feels sad that he can't stop time at this very moment. But a warm feeling fills him as well, and he closes his eyes getting closer to the body beside him.

Just like raccoon hybrids often hug their family or friends.

He smiles. Theo can kill him later, he wants to enjoy the moment a little more.

—————

Man, this was a long one. You could say this is a bunch of ficlets into one? I dunno I just wanted to write something sad.

#dsmp rewind #ficlet #tw manipulation #tw emotional abuse #tw mention of selfharm

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it-was-summer · 3 years

Text

Video Killed The Radio Star - Chapter 5 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Sorry for the lack of content in the past two days, I have been working a little more this week and certain things happened that made me a little depressed. I am feeling better and I am hoping that you all enjoy this new chapter! Please reach out if you ever have any questions or send me a message if you would like to share any theories!

Warnings: Talk of addiction, just emotional garbage, let me know if I missed anything!

Plot: Spencer Reid extends an olive branch. We explore how Y/N is dealing with the aftermath of her abduction and how she is dealing with it all.

Word Count:3.1K

You were screaming, your ears were ringing so it was all muffled, but you could feel the air leaving your lungs. But, before you could see anymore of the gruesome sight in front of you, a newer and prettier sight blocked your vision. You only recognized him from the photos you found of him, Spencer Reid.

If you were in a different situation, preferably one where you hadn’t just watched someone’s head get blown to bits, you would feel embarrassed. He opened his mouth and that's when all sound returned “Y/N,” you could hear your sobs “Look at me.” Your eyes were shifting anxiously, trying to look behind him to see Heather. Spencer moved his head with yours, his eyes fixed onto yours.

You tried to speak, but all the words were lost as you sobbed, you took in a deep breath before you managed to say "Dr. Reid,” Spencer tried to hide his surprise, he knew you had researched the team, he just didn’t expect you to call him Doctor right out of the gate. “I want to go home.” you pulled in a desperate gulp of air, trying to calm down. Spencer was about to reassure you that you would be home soon, but the EMTs were already moving you. Your eyes caught one last look at Heather’s exploded head before your body went limp on the gurney.

Spencer watched the paramedics take you out, a surprising feeling of anxiety rising in his chest as he watched them leave before he turned around to focus on the corpse behind him.

You woke up to the sounds of steady beeping, eyes opening to confirm that you were in a hospital bed. Your foot was in a cast, carefully suspended as you looked around the room. You could see your mother right outside, talking to someone that you couldn’t quite see from your position on the hospital bed.

Your mother looked over her shoulder and saw that you were awake, gasping gently in awe. She worked her way back into the hospital room with a relieved smile on her face. “You’re awake,” she sighed happily, reaching for your hand. She was looking for something else to say, finding herself at a loss as she stared at her only child, her only daughter. Her eyes met yours and you gave her a tight smile.

“Hi, mom,” you said in a voice so quiet, knowing that your throat took some damage from all the screaming.

“Hi, honey,” she began to cry tears falling silently as she held your hand tighter.

“Excuse me,” a timid voice interrupted the moment.

Your attention was pulled towards the voice, smiling quickly at the sight of Dr. Reid standing there as he fidgeted with the strap of his bag, looking incredibly awkward as he did so. “Dr. Reid!” you exclaimed as your bed rose slowly so that you could sit up in the bed, you looked for the button, only to find that your mother was the one who was pressing the button.

Spencer returned your smile as he shuffled closer to the bed, “You can just call me Spencer.” He kindly informed you. “We usually don’t visit, but I, well, just wanted to see how you were doing.”

You swallowed nervously, not knowing how to answer him, “I’m alive,” you settled with a nervous chuckle, Spencer let out a tiny scoff and nodded in agreement. You turned your head towards your mother, “Can I get a moment with,” you began to say doctor before you stopped yourself, “A moment with Spencer, please?” you begged your mother sweetly as you saw the hesitation in her eyes. That was natural, of course, because her daughter had just been abducted for a good four days.

But, she left nonetheless smiling at Spencer as she did so. You cleared your throat softly, you knew that as soon as you spoke about it, the abduction, you would break. You motioned for Spencer to come closer with a grin, waiting to speak till he was at the side of the hospital bed. “You saw my videos,” Spencer blinked at your statement, waiting for you to continue. “I thought I was going crazy, seriously. Then when it happened, she,” you felt your voice crack, “She was horrible. I’m so scared, so scared, that I’ll never be able to recover.” You croaked softly, stealing a glance up at Spencer. “Will I be able to recover, Spencer?”

Spencer couldn’t help but feel like he was being thrown into the limelight with that question. He knew the correct answer was a simple yes, he could just say yes and leave it at that. His time with Tobias made him see things differently, made him want to be more inspirational, to be more open, but it was hard. “You’ll be able to recover. It’ll take time, but you can.” was all he could manage before he was digging into his bag to look for a pen of some kind. “If you ever need anything, I could,” he found a sharpie, “Could I give you my number?” He asked, holding up the sharpie with a tiny grin.

“Are you allowed to?”

“Well, I don’t think-”

“I was kidding, Spencer.” you pointed down to the cast on your foot. “Would you be the first to sign my cast?”

Spencer uncapped the pen, writing his name in bold lettering followed by his number underneath it. “It’s beautiful,” you laughed softly, turning your head to look at Spencer. Spencer felt a tiny shiver cross his spine as you graced him with a look of adoration. He nodded stiffly, heading over to the door. “Spencer,” you called.

“Yes?” He turned around, half expecting something from a romantic comedy to happen. Then again you were lying in a hospital bed, he doubted your mind was on the same track as his.

“Thank you. Please tell the rest of the team thank you for me too?” Spencer felt his smile return in a second, then he nodded, and he was gone.

***

March 16, 20XX

It was your third day out of the hospital. You were sleeping in your old room at your mother’s house, your mother didn’t want you to go back to your apartment and you had time off from your job, so you were sleeping in your old room. It was around three in the morning when it happened, you could feel something pressing onto your stomach. The memory shot through you as you sat up in a cold sweat, looking around for her. She wasn’t there, of course, thank god she wasn’t there.

You stared up at the ceiling for a while after that, waiting for sleep to crash down on you, but it never came. Every time you would close your eyes you felt, suddenly, numb, you could feel morphine in your veins. The part that scared you the most was that when you opened your eyes you missed it. You missed feeling numb and that terrified you.

It was around five in the morning that you got up, grabbing your crutches quickly, silently realizing that sleep was never going to come to you as you walked out of the room with a frown.

Two hours later, your mother emerged from her room at the sound of the television playing. Upon seeing you she frowned, but you simply patted one of the cushions on the couch and she was smiling as she took a seat next to you. You wanted to tell her how you were feeling, tell her how you felt like you needed something more to keep the edge off, but guilt consumed you. You felt so guilty for worrying her, you felt guilty for waking her up, you felt like a burden. She didn’t need to know that her daughter was thinking like that, she didn’t need to know that her daughter was feeling overwhelmed. So you sat next to her in ignorant silence, watching the television play.

It was just after noon when it first happened, you caught the tiniest look of pink light, something outside of the kitchen window. Suddenly you were in the room, in the pink room again, fire spreading throughout your body. You squeezed your eyes tight, trying to breathe, trying to calm down. You opened your eyes, blinking away panic as the sight of your mother’s kitchen reassured you that you were safe.

You let out a slow sigh, rolling your shoulders back, attempting to calm down. She was dead and you were out, safe. You shouldn’t be scared of someone who can’t hurt you, but then again people are scared of the dark and darkness isn’t even a person. You grabbed a glass, filling it with tap water, and walked back to the living room with a fake smile.

March 20, 20XX

It took about four days to persuade your mother to let you go back home to your apartment. You didn’t necessarily want to leave her house, but you were scared that with all of your anxieties and flashbacks you would worry her further. It was better to let her think that you were healthy and that you were doing better.

You waved from the doors of your apartment, watching her get into her car as you walked into the lobby of your apartment. After a momentarily struggle with your crutches, you managed to get to your apartment door. You stood outside of the door, fear making the hairs on your arms stand up as you slowly reached for the door handle.

You pushed the door in, watching it swing wide open as you quickly hobbled in, removing your keys from the lock as you shut the door behind you. Carefully limping over to your desk, you plopped down onto your desk chair. You frowned as you watched your closed computer on your desk, feeling as if you should be speaking. You hated to be alone now, you never said it out loud, but you always felt like someone was watching you now. It would be at any time of the day, morning, noon, or night and you would get the feeling that someone’s eyes were on you. That, someone, was watching you, waiting for you to be vulnerable, waiting for you to slip up and do something wrong.

You scooted closer to the desk, looking down at the photos you had printed out, chuckling to yourself as you remember how you took the time to leave tiny notes on them, they were misplaced but all of the notes were still there. You had hoped that your notes made them feel better, you wrote them in guilt. You felt guilty for your videos, feeling as if they were useless to the case, but now you could see that they helped.

After a couple of hours of cleaning your apartment, or making an attempt to clean it, you were lying on the couch trying to ignore the feelings that were washing over you. In the coming days, you were a blizzard of emotions. You would get angry at little things, flinched if something touched you when you least expected it, but the two emotions that controlled you a majority of the time were helplessness and fear.

You would yearn for some kind of release from your mind, convincing yourself that if you could get your hands on something strong enough, the world would simply melt away and leave you in mind-numbing bliss. You wanted to feel nothing again, all you wanted to do was stare at the ceiling and let your mind be empty. Right now, for example, you were alone and everything was silent, and yet your mind was screaming. Screaming in a silly panic that someone was in your apartment, screaming that something bad was about to happen, and in the darkest of times crying that the wrong person died in that room. If you were simply numb, you could float out of your mind and feel as if you were normal for a couple of hours, maybe you would feel less helpless.

Fear would enrapture you daily with a simple memory. You would wake up in the night, chest burning, phantom pain spreading through your chest as you felt a paring knife dig into your skin again. You knew you were safe, but something as simple as a kitchen knife made your heart race. That wasn’t normal, you knew it wasn’t normal. You just didn’t know who to talk to, you couldn’t think of anyone.

So you were lying down on your couch, staring up at the ceiling as you tried to think about anything else but the abduction. There was a fleeting thought, one involving Spencer Reid. He had given you his number to call if you ever needed to, but every time you would punch the numbers into your phone you would stop yourself from pressing the call button. Convincing yourself that he simply gave you his number to be nice, not because he was trying to be your friend. You realized how painfully stupid you sounded, but you decided you were right and left it alone for now.

March 21, 20XX

You were lying in your bed, feeling soft air fan your face as you opened your eyes. You smiled seeing him next to you, you couldn’t make out his face but you were comfortable with that. You let out a giddy giggle as you felt his hands wrap around your torso. You went to say his name, but that’s when you woke up.

Your heart was racing as you rolled over to your right, letting out a secretly disappointed sigh as you saw that no one was there. Heather had left you hating most romantic things, you had a personal thing against roses now, but even she couldn’t ruin romantic dreams. You were happy those were yours to enjoy still. You rolled onto your back, pressing a hand into your chest as your heart thundered in your chest. It had been so long since your last romantic endeavor, well unless you counted Heather as a romantic endeavor, which you did not. You were happy being single, but certain things would happen that would make you suddenly feel very, very, lonely. You loved, love, but you weren’t quite ready to feel it yet. Something always seemed to hold you back when in the presence of new romance, this time that thing was trauma. You couldn’t imagine being happy with anyone, especially not now.

You relaxed into the mattress, letting out a soft hum as you closed your eyes again, reliving the dream you had just seconds ago. It would be nice to have that, but it was just a dream and that was all it would be for now.

You sat up with a gentle grunt, you didn’t want today to be like the last, today maybe you would do something differently. You didn’t want to feel like porcelain today, you wanted to feel normal again. You had spent twelve days feeling broken, so maybe today could be different. You slipped one slipper on, the cast on your right leg already working as a big, hard, slipper, as you made your way towards the kitchen.

You were about to make something for breakfast, toast a bagel if that counts as breakfast when there was a gentle knock at the door. You hobbled over as fast as you could, opening it to see a man standing there with red roses. You felt your mouth go dry as you stared at them. He frowned when he looked at you, apologizing for going to the wrong apartment. You shut the door quickly but stood there frozen. You felt your chest tighten as you let stray tears fall from your eyes. You walked back into the kitchen with tears streaming down your face as you put the bagel into the toaster.

You were sitting at your kitchen table, picking at your bagel as you thought about it all. You needed to think about it because you couldn’t let something as simple as a bouquet of roses make you feel so helpless. You couldn’t let that experience hold so much power over you.

It would be smarter to visit a therapist, but you were already struggling to make ends meet, no need to add to that problem. So, for now, you were your therapist. The healthy thing would be to think about the present instead of focusing on the past, however, the past was also just twelve days ago. It was possible that in this situation it was better to simply give it time. To let the pain run its course until one day you woke up and felt better, but that was just as good as not doing anything. You had to do something, it would drive you crazy to just simply wait around to feel better. That wasn’t who you were, you took a tiny bite of your bagel.

Spencer was on the plane, coming back from a case in Arizona. He was leaning his head against the walls of the plane, gazing out the window to watch the clouds. In the past twelve days, he felt particularly strange. By strange, he felt like something was in the works. He was an avid follower of philosophy, he had a bachelor’s degree in it after all, but he didn’t know how he felt about fate. A little over fifty percent of Americans believed in fate, but Spencer didn’t know which part of the statistics he fell under; the fifty percent that didn’t believe or the fifty percent that believed.

Nonetheless, he felt as if something was going to happen. It wasn’t a good feeling, nor was it a bad feeling, it was just simply a feeling. An anxious shiver moved down his spine as he watched the clouds move, he was hoping it would be a good thing.

The sun was setting now and you, having spent all day trying to decide what could help you, watched it from your window. The sky was turning a beautiful color of purple and pink, the colors mixing as you sat on the edge of your bed. You blew some hair out of your face, picking up your phone. You looked down at your cast as you typed in the number, fingers shaking with anxiety as you hit the green button at the bottom of the screen.

“Dr. Spencer Reid,” you smiled hearing his voice, feeling unusually calm all of the sudden.

“Hi, Spencer,”

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teshamerkel · 3 years

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Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Seekers of Soul

Chapter 15 (28 Pages)

<< First | < Previous | Next >

Tobias considers Nia’s ultimatum, and a deal is struck.

TW: Panic Attack

The mountain air is cool and thin, but the rock underfoot is hot, pleasant against his skin. Tobias tilts his face up to the sun, soaking in the heat of the day.

A familiar voice calls from nearby, tone a playful sing-song. “Toby!”

Tobias smiles, his eyes still closed. “You’re supposed to be quiet when you’re hiding, you dork!”

A giggle, the quiet clack of stone. Tobias huffs a laugh and opens his eyes again, taking a moment to admire the endless blue sky, not a cloud in sight. Then he follows the shout to his right, where some huge boulders have long since settled against the cliffside.

“Too easy,” Tobias teases, ducking into the cleft between the rocks, expecting to spot the glow of a little flame in the shadows.

Huh. He could have sworn she was over here.

“Toby! C’mon!”

Tobias backs out of the boulders, turning around in confusion. How did she get behind him so fast?

He scans the small, flat area they’re playing on, but there are only small patches of brush this high up the mountain, everything else a stone landscape of neutral browns and grays that she would stand out against like a sore thumb.

“Toby!”

Somehow, she sounds a little farther away. Did she leave the safety of the trail? Skin prickling, Tobias hurries over to where the path drops off steeply down the cliffside. He peeks over the edge, expecting to see teary green eyes peering up at him from far below. But no, she’s not there, either. He’s not sure whether to be relieved or even more worried.

“Toby?”

This time her voice sounds nervous, like when she’s scared but doesn’t want to admit it. Tobias spins to try and locate where it’s coming from, heart pounding.

“Where are you?” He calls.

“Toby!”

Down the trail! He rushes after her, worst case scenarios flashing through his mind. Did she climb up somewhere and get herself stuck? Did a cliff collapse and sweep her down the mountainside? Is she hurt?

Tobias trips over a dip in the path, and when he slams into the ground it’s no longer dirt and rock beneath him, but smooth wood. He blinks at it, recognizing the distinct pattern of bark.

He’s at the guild.

“Toby!” Her cry comes from somewhere even farther away, her voice high and shrill.

Tobias tries to scramble to his feet, only for something heavy to land on his shoulders and slam him back down. The air gets knocked from his chest.

When he looks up he’s surrounded, Pokemon from the guild staring down at him with blank expressions. He spots the pansage he accidentally burned when he was eleven, the venipede he admired until he overheard her calling him names, the spinarak who kept tripping Tobias with their webs until Tobias scared them off with an ember attack. The group parts, and Xander steps forward.

“You failed her,” the luxio says, voice calm. Like he’s not even surprised.

Another wail of Tobias’ name from beyond the mob. Tobias’ stomach rolls.

“Let me go! I can still help her!” He shrieks, struggling uselessly against the weight pinning him down, scoring claw marks in the wooden floor.

“You already tried. You weren’t good enough.”

“I know! I know! Please, just let me try again! I have to save her!”

Xander’s expression remains unmoved. The other Pokémon continue to stare him down, faces unnervingly still, and somehow that’s more terrifying than if they were attacking him.

A shrill wail from somewhere out of sight. He has never heard her sound so terrified.

Tobias snarls. He gasps in a breath, holds, and releases a powerful wave of fire. It’s stronger than any attack he’s done before, fueled by desperation. And then he’s alone, and the guild is in flames around him, smoldering and crackling as it slowly burns down. But none of that matters, because he can move again.

“Toby!”

Tobias stumbles to his feet, staggering towards the voice. “I’m coming! Hang on!”

He sprints down the hallway, panting hard as he runs and trips and runs again. The hallway seems endless, somehow dark and closing in tighter and tighter despite the flames chewing at the walls.

Then he sees her, curled up away from him at a dead-end. Her tail flame is small as a spark, her tiny body wracked with shivers. Her skin, just a shade darker than his, is bruised and scraped. Tobias’ heart jumps in his chest as he rushes to her side, grabbing her shoulders—

And then he’s holding Nia’s shoulders instead, blinking at the riolu suddenly standing in front of him, cloaked in the dark of night. They’re at the docks, and her eyes are shining with tears in the light of his tail, her fists balled up at her sides.

“This is a second chance,” She whispers.

Before he has a chance to respond, the riolu lunges forward and shoves him in the chest, hard. He stumbles back into empty air, his stomach dropping as he falls into the darkness of Afon’s waters, frigid cold and too thick to swim through, too thick to even move his arms.

Then he realizes he can breathe. And he can hear rain. Thunder booming overhead. The howl of the wind.

Tobias cracks open his eyes, squinting at the dark sky as rain pelts the earth in icy, stinging drops. It hurts. Mud sucks at his limbs as he sits up, shuddering. He’s so tired. So heavy and cold. He needs to get home.

He staggers to his feet, swinging his tail around to try and shelter the tiny flame at its tip with his body.

“Toby!”

Tobias freezes, breath catching.

She can’t be out here in this. Why is she out here?

Tobias stumbles forward through quickly rising puddles and thick mud, his exhausted, numb limbs forgotten as he searches for the glow of her tail flame. Where is she? Where are their parents? He can’t find her on his own!

Tobias stops to yell her name, and then the names of his parents, too. He turns around and around but can’t seem to recognize the mountainous environment through the sheets of rain and darkness.

He’s lost. He’s lost, he lost her, and now he’s stranded in the dark. His tail flame is petering dangerously low, and the terror in his chest overtakes him completely. He’s breathing hard, lungs heaving and only inhaling rainwater. Was he running? From what? Why is he crying?

He can’t breathe.

Tobias trips and falls into the mud, shaking arms barely able to hold him up. After a moment he gives in, balling up against the rain. He tucks his tail flame under his body as he shakes.

He’s going to die. He doesn’t want to die.

He can’t be the reason she dies.

“Vivi,” he whimpers, curling tighter against the rain. “I’m sorry.”

And all at once, it stops. The rain, the wind, the cold, the pain. Tobias distantly registers that he’s panting loud in the empty quiet of the room, voice on the edge of a sob. He’s warm, and lying in something soft. He takes a moment to catch his breath and blink away the blur of sleep. Wait, no. Tears. Both. He frowns and pushes himself up from his nest, wiping at his eyes and looking around as he wakes up.

Oh. Right. He’s at the inn in Afon’s Cap. Faint dawn light is filtering in through the window, cold and gray but without a hint of the rain from his dream.

Tobias glances over his shoulder to look for Nia, already crafting a snarled excuse to deter her from asking about him crying out in his sleep. He’d managed to avoid that happening since she’s been here. But the nest beside his is empty, and the events of last night come back to him—

Nia, eyes wet but lip curled into the start of a snarl, soft voice raised to a furious shout, the steel in her words—

Tobias’ heart sinks, hot anger curling his hands into fists around a handful of hay. That’s right. He hadn’t gotten to sleep for hours last night after that, worked up as he was.

Why is it so important to her that he treats her like a friend? He doesn’t want friends. He just wants to get stronger and make sure that the outlawed trio gets taken down, one way or another. That’s his only goal, and unfortunately he needs a partner to accomplish it.

He knows being part of a Seeker team is the best way to get the experience, training and knowledge he needs. He knows that, and he grudgingly admits that Nia is right about her being the only one with a choice in teammates. No one wants to be his partner. Nia’s the only one who has even given him a shot.

It’s not blackmail. It’s a second chance.

Ha. Right.

Tobias gets up and stretches. He smooths his red scarf, making sure it’s tied tight before grabbing his money bag and making his way downstairs, out of the tiny inn. He’d paid last night, so he just gives the poliwhirl at the counter a nod before making his way outside.

The morning is clear, the waters of the docks calm and foggy as the sun rises. He shivers in the cool air and looks around, only to stop when he recognizes a familiar silhouette perched at the edge of the boardwalk, legs swung over the edge. Nia. Tobias isn’t sure whether to be surprised that she woke up so early or angry because of last night, so he just walks up to stand beside her.

“Ready to go?” He asks, feeling awkward.

Nia looks up at him with unreadable ruby eyes. “...Yeah, sure.”

And that’s all that’s exchanged between them as Nia rises to her feet, adjusting their satchel before following Tobias to the stairway nearby. He leads them cautiously through the foggy morning, especially once they step onto the bridge leading back to the forest. He hates being so close to so much water.

It isn’t until they’ve scaled the rocky cliffside stairs and stepped into the lush forest that Nia speaks up again.

“Did you decide, or do you need more time?”

Tobias huffs a breath out his nose. He’s not an idiot—he knows this is the only option he really has, teaming up with the riolu. And if he has to grit his teeth and put on the baby gloves to avoid hurting her feelings? So be it. But he wants to beat the crap out of a training dummy to clear his head before answering, so he just says, “I’ll let you know sometime today.”

He’s grateful that she doesn’t push, going back to her routine from the day before of looking around at the plant life and the other Pokémon they pass. A pair of goomy slither by, likely on their way to the port, and Nia waves at them with a tiny smile. The goomy smile back and wave their antennae.

They continue on through the forest, Tobias wracking his brain for any loopholes he can think of to get Nia to drop her sudden team requirements. Before last night, Tobias might have thought he could just intimidate her into caving, but after seeing her not only stand against him but back him into a literal corner...

She’s gutsier than he thought.

Tobias should know that by now. He learned that firsthand when he snuck into a mystery dungeon and Nia followed him to make sure he didn’t die on the way, even stepping between him and a pack of feral Pokémon.

Tobias sneaks a glance back at the riolu, hardly able to reconcile the bloodied, bristling Pokemon from that dungeon with, well...Nia. Wide-eyed with wonder, the faintest hint of a smile on her muzzle as she lights up at the sight of a caterpie climbing a nearby tree.

Tobias thought her never-ending awe was annoying at first, but he’s gotten more or less used to it by now. Occasionally his gaze even follows hers, curious despite himself to see what mundane thing has caught her attention. It’s...tolerable now. Nia’s tolerable now. He hates being forced to talk and act “nice,” but maybe he could get used to that song and dance too if he absolutely has to.

It takes the two of them hours of traveling to get back to the guild, weaving through undergrowth and gigantic trees. They take a tunnel entrance into the underground, and when they walk through the blue-lit crystal passage, Tobias recalls the talk they’d had after facing down their first unofficial “mission” together. The earnest, hopeful look on the riolu’s face as she offered her paw and the chance to form a Seeker team. She’d claimed that they made a good team, and they…they really had. He’d forgotten about that already. About how well they’d worked together when they weren’t arguing and were just focused on staying alive.

When the two of them reach the mission boards, Nia turns to him with a questioning look. He hesitates, still unsure. “I…I think I’m gonna go train. I’ll let you know what I’ve decided by tonight.”

The riolu seems satisfied by that, and nods. She opens her mouth, as if to ask him something, but then seems to think better of it before parting with a quiet, “I’ll talk to you later, then.”

Tobias watches her go, noting that he should probably go see Maggie and let her know that they’re back, that he’s fine. But the training area is always quiet this time of day, and Nia will likely stop by their quarters anyway, so the charmander rolls his shoulders and heads for the training floor. When he arrives, it’s nearly empty. Most Pokémon are out on missions today, since the trainers have the day off.

A familiar form catches Tobias’ eye. August? It looks like the rillaboom is practicing a graceful string of battle movements, his leafy mane trailing behind him. Tobias has only seen the guildmaster on the training floor a handful of times in his whole life, so he stops to watch, surprised.

August is light on his feet, despite his large size. Tobias would have expected someone with so much power to be practicing his hard-hitting grass moves or his drumwork. Instead, August’s movements almost look like Val’s, fluid and dance-like. Tobias doesn’t even realize he’s been staring until August finishes a sequence and turns to him with a warm, toothy smile.

“Tobias! Good morning.”

The charmander jolts out of his thoughts, offering a respectful nod. “Hey, August.”

The rillaboom walks over to him, plopping down cross-legged on the ground. “See anything I need to correct in my form?”

Tobias blinks. Surely he’s joking. He has no idea how to judge any of those movements. He’s still trying to figure out the basics himself. “Uh. It looked...good? To me.”

August laughs, patting the ground in front of him. “Why don’t you sit? You have time for a chat?”

Tobias would really rather not, itching to claw at a training dummy as he is, but if there’s anyone he’s not going to snark off to too often, it’s the guildmaster. So he takes a seat, curling his tail around himself.

“I spoke with Maggie yesterday. She tells me you and Nia went to Afon’s Cap—a lovely place. How was it?”

“It was, uh, fine.”

“And did Nia find who she was looking for?”

Tobias opens his mouth to respond, only to realize that he doesn’t actually know the answer.

August must see his panic, because he brings a thoughtful hand up to his chin. “You went with her, right?”

Tobias’ gaze slides down to his hands, sitting folded in his lap. The rillaboom’s tone isn’t judgmental, simply curious, but somehow that makes Tobias feel even worse for not having an answer. “...Yeah.”

There’s a moment of quiet, and then August hums, “You are having teamwork issues, I presume.”

It’s not a question, and Tobias’ head snaps up to give August an indignant glare. Who told him? Maggie?

“Oh, don’t give me that look. It’s quite obvious from your answer alone. Why are you two not getting along?”

Tobias snorts. August has known him since he came to the guild as a kid. It’s obvious to anyone who knows him. “You really have to ask?”

The rillaboom gives him a look in return, somewhere between amused and exasperated. “As your doting guildmaster, yes. Yes I do.”

Tobias rolls his eyes. “Fine. You know the drill—I don’t get along with others, and they don’t get along with me. Same old, same old.”

“It seemed Nia had been willing to give you a chance, though. That’s far from the same old.”

Tobias bites back a sharp retort, frowning at the floor.

“She gave you a chance. Shouldn’t you do the same for her?”

Tobias lifts his chin to meet August’s eyes. “And who says I haven’t?”

August stares back at him, unwavering. Eventually, Tobias breaks eye contact first. The rillaboom sighs. “Tobias, be honest. With me and with yourself. Why are you two not getting along? Have you talked about it?”

Tobias avoids the rillaboom’s searching gaze, picking at the claws on his foot. “She wants us to be friends.”

There’s a surprised moment of silence. “That’s not the usual reason I hear for team disagreements.”

“But I don’t want that!” Tobias snaps. “I just. We’re on the same team, yeah, whatever. But just so we can reach our goals. It doesn’t mean we have to be friends!”

August takes a moment to respond. “Tobias...you don’t have to be friends, but you do have to be partners. You are a team.”

“We are partners,” Tobias says. “We go on the same missions, we train together, we even live together!”

“And yet, do you know her weaknesses?”

Tobias frowns. “Well, yeah. Psychic types, flying—“

“No,” August interrupts. “Not a riolu’s type disadvantages. Nia’s weak points. Is she scared of certain Pokémon? Off in her aim? Doubtful of her fighting capabilities?”

Tobias hesitates. He doesn’t know that sort of stuff, but...

“Being a Seekers team requires much more than simple type knowledge and the ability to brute-force your way through a dungeon. Say you come across a sharpedo and need to rely on Nia’s fighting capabilities. What would you do if she was frozen in fear by that specific species? Is she holding back on certain powers or moves because she doubts herself and is too ashamed to ask you for help? There are more elements to battle—and to a Seeker’s duties—than the basic textbook knowledge, Tobias.”

The charmander’s brow furrows, recognizing the truth in that statement. “But how are you supposed to know those things?”

August snorts, a warm, almost teasing smile on his face. “You talk to her. Get to know her.”

Tobias slumps, giving the bigger Pokémon a disdainful look. “You’re all about the power of friendship, huh?”

August chuckles. “There is a reason the best Seeker teams consist of Pokemon who have known each other for years, Tobias. Experience, yes, but also becoming true partners. Talking, sharing, growing close, trusting one another. Most teams are made up of best friends. Families. Lovers. Pokémon who have the utmost faith in one another.”

Tobias frowns, shoving away the part of himself that immediately rolls its eyes at the mushy words. He hates that the words sound so reminiscent of what Nia said last night.

Trust, huh?

Surely...surely it isn’t really that important. What’s important is how strong they are, that they strategize and are well-prepared. That they can fight. Isn’t it?

But then he thinks of Nia, calming that tropius calf with a gentle touch and the most ridiculous of tactics. She came up with that plan. The better plan. Not him. She was right, he was wrong, and if he’d stuck around to listen to her instead of darting off on his own, he could’ve been a part of it.

“So tell me, Tobias,” August says, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward to meet the charmander’s eyes. “What is so wrong with giving Nia a real chance? With talking to her? Sharing yourself with her?”

Tobias shrinks away from August’s intense stare. He swallows hard and opens his mouth, and eventually words croak out. “I...I haven’t talked to anyone like...like a friend in years.”

“To grow, one must push past what they are comfortable with,” August rumbles, not unkindly. There’s a knowing look in his eyes.

“I don’t know how to do it anymore,” Tobias rasps. “How to...talk to other Pokemon. Talk about myself.” Be kind. Trust others.

“You do,” August insists, smiling without a hint of hesitation. “There’s a reason I approved your team papers, Tobias. If you need help, just ask for it. Nia is on your side, whether you want to accept that or not. And Maggie would move mountains for you.”

Tobias looks down again, gripping hard at his legs. A prick of shame sits in his chest, sharp and nagging. Maggie...Maggie would say the same thing. Maggie has been saying the same thing.

“It’s important to care about others, Tobias. Especially as a Seeker. Your wants and dreams are important, but so are everyone else’s. Remember that. Try to see things from others’ perspectives.”

The charmander nods but doesn’t respond, too lost in thought. He hardly registers August placing a giant hand on his head in an encouraging gesture before going back to his training. Idly, Tobias watches the rillaboom start up his graceful stream of movements.

Tobias doesn’t know if he has ever felt this conflicted. He doesn’t want to pour his heart out to Nia and share secrets with her like a couple of cubs, but between Nia’s ultimatum and his own guildmaster’s words...well, it’s not like he has much of a choice anyways, if he wants to stay a Seeker. He just has to act nice and appease the riolu, right? He can do that. Probably.

Tobias considers leaving right away to find Nia, but she’ll probably either be eating or visiting Andyn and Xander’s teams. So instead, he decides to work off his pent-up frustration from last night’s argument, moving to one of the unused dummies with fire building in his throat. He’s going to scorch the poor thing to bits. Archer is gonna be so mad.

__________________________________________________

It’s nearly sunset when Tobias trudges his way up to the medical floor. He’s exhausted again, but feeling much less tense. He’d stopped by the cafeteria for a quick bite to eat, and was going to grab something for Nia as a peace offering (yeah yeah, he’s gonna be a suck-up) when he’d realized that he had no clue what her favorite foods were. They didn’t eat together all the time, sure, but it still lends credence to Nia and August’s points, reinforcing that the charmander is so caught up in his own goals that he’s failing to observe the simplest things. That could get him killed in a dungeon.

So he’d grabbed a basic fruit medley and made his way up. He stops at the doorway to their quarters, not at all surprised to see Nia sitting in the middle of the room with a bunch of books spread out around her. She’s clearly focused, mouthing along to the words she’s reading, a small pad of notes at her side. After a few seconds, he clears his throat. Nia jumps, a hand flying to her heart.

“T-Tobias! You scared me.”

Tobias snorts, then catches himself before making a snide remark. Nice. He has to be nice. “I…made my decision.” Nia blinks at him, unmoving, and he tries to tack on something to make it sound less like a demand. “Did you, uh. Wanna talk about it? Or are you busy?”

Nia’s face is openly surprised at his mild tone, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes. He can have manners when he wants to! He usually just doesn’t want to.

“Y-Yeah! Yeah. Sure.” Nia scrambles to her feet, sending the spread of books a hesitant glance before making her way over to the door. Tobias turns and leads them away from the medical ward, going up a few flights until they reach the mail landing area. Soft, warm, evening light fills the open area, and there’s hardly a Pokémon in sight.

“Oh.” Nia stops, something like recognition in her tone.

Tobias glances at her, a defensive “What?” slipping past his lips. Immediately, he backpedals, looking away and out into the pink sky as he says, “I...come up here to think sometimes.”

Nia blinks, then smiles, small and almost secretive. “Seems like a good place for it.”

Before Tobias can question her, Nia moves to one of the ports to peer outside. Tobias follows, recognizing the rarely-used platform and settling down on the warm wood to stare out at the sky. After a moment, Nia joins him, the two of them sitting propped up on either side of the opening, looking out into an endless sea of treetops. Nia doesn’t speak, letting the wind fill the silence.

Tobias opens his mouth, then closes it again. Repeats the process a few times before managing to say, “Can you just…tell me what exactly you’d need me to do? For you to stay on the team with me.”

Nia meets his eyes, face unreadable, searching his gaze. “I’m not trying to make you something you’re not, Tobias. I just...I just want you to actually try treating me like your partner instead of someone you got stuck with dragging around.”

Tobias frowns, but doesn’t object.

“Just...” Nia sighs and rubs at her face with a paw. For the first time Tobias really registers how much of an emotional toll this whole ordeal is taking on her, too. “I know you can be kind. Patient, even. I’ve seen how you are around Xander’s siblings, and Maggie sometimes. I just want you to try to stop hiding that part of yourself. I’m not here to turn on you or judge you or stop you from hunting down those Pokémon. I’m here to help. To take that journey together with you.”

Tobias frowns, swallowing an impulsive response. His immediate thought is to dismiss Nia’s words as a lie, but the riolu has done nothing but try to help him since the moment she got here. Not ratting him out when he ditched her, helping him out of tough spots, even bringing him lunch. He...doesn’t really have a logical reason to think she’s lying now.

It’s a strange, foreign thought.

“In return,” Nia says. “I need you to try to do the same for me. Just...trust me. Talk to me. And actually care about my goals and feelings, too.”

Tobias nods. That’s...understandable, he supposes. Fair. He looks down at his hands. Oh. He’s still holding the bag of fruit. Feeling incredibly awkward, he leans forward and holds it out to her. “I, uh. Wasn’t sure if you ate yet.”

The riolu blinks out of her serious expression, clearly surprised, and reaches to take the bag, opening it and peering inside.

“I dunno what your favorite fruits are, so I just grabbed a bunch.”

He’s not expecting the small smile that curves her lips. “Thank you.” She pulls a small persim berry out of the bag and rolls it around between her palms. “I really like these.”

“Persim berries,” he says, making a mental note of it. “Huh. They’re usually not very popular with fighting types.”

Nia looks at him, ears pricked. “Really? Why?”

Tobias almost growls for her to go look it up in one of her billions of books. Almost rolls his eyes and tells her to ask Maggie or one of her friends. Instead, he bites his tongue. She still insists that she’s human. And she seems genuinely curious, as usual.

“They, uh, cure confusion statuses. From attacks. And since most of those come from psychic moves, and fighting types are weak to psychic types...” Tobias shrugs, not sure how to articulate the rest. It’s just a thing in the Pokémon world. “Most fighting types say they taste weird.”

Nia nods thoughtfully, looking at the little pink fruit as if it holds some sort of secret to the universe. She takes a moment to bite into the berry, peering into the bag. Then, she reaches in and pulls out a rawst berry, offering it to him. He blinks at her paw, then up at her face.

“These are your favorite, right?” There’s nothing proud or boastful about the words, nothing to suggest she’s rubbing the knowledge in his face.

Tobias doesn’t bother to hide his surprise. “How’d you know that?”

She smiles again as he takes the berry and nibbles at its seed-dimpled skin. “I asked you when we were at Hadley’s place.”

Oh, right. She had. He doesn’t think she offered up her own answer, and he knows he definitely didn’t ask. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Nia says, finishing the other half of her berry. “How about...we just start over?”

Just as Tobias is about to ask what she means, she jabs her open paw in his direction, smiling in an almost shy way. His mind flashes back to the blue light of the tunnels, the both of them bruised but proud. “I’m Nia, your new partner.”

Tobias snorts. Still, he reaches out his own hand to clasp hers, giving it a solid shake. “Tobias. Your, uh...new partner. Really this time.”

Nia giggles and pulls back to continue searching through the fruit, and Tobias fiddles nervously with his scarf. She...really means this, doesn’t she?

“So Tobias, what’s your favorite color?”

The charmander snorts, raising a brow at her. “Seriously?“

“Come on, communicate!” Nia laughs. “Mine is yellow.”

“Big surprise there,” he mumbles. She’s like a ball of sunshine herself—annoyingly bright. “I guess mine is probably...green.”

Nia tilts her head. “Really? I would have guessed red.”

“Because I’m always angry?”

Nia’s expression drops into some form of panic. “N-No! It’s just, your scarf, a-and—“

“Calm down, I was joking.”

“Oh.” Nia stills, an awkward silence falling between them. “S-Sorry. Um. Favorite weather?”

“Hint: I’m a fire type.”

This time, Nia does laugh. “So...bright and sunny?”

“Anything but rain, really. You?”

Nia’s face softens. “Sunshine is nice, but I’ve always liked snow. I love how peaceful and pretty it is. The smell of it. Plus, there’s always hot chocolate and sledding with—“ she stops, eyes blanking out to something vacant and searching. After a moment, the look sours into frustration.

“Still don’t remember?”

Nia breathes out, shaky. “Y-Yeah. Um. Does it snow here?”

Tobias nods, looking out over the forest and picturing it as a landscape of white and ashen brown. “Yeah. We usually get a lot of snow. You’ll have to wait a few months, though.”

Nia perks up. “Oh! I forgot! I was going to ask about that. When’s the first day of autumn here?”

Tobias tilts his head, thinking. It’s nearing the end of summer now, so... “Probably in about two weeks? I’d have check the calendar to be sure. Why?”

“Well, um...” Nia fidgets. “Hazel mentioned something about a meeting for Pokemon who used to be human. I-I found a flyer for it at Afon’s Cap. They’re meeting in Ghatha on the first day of fall, so I was hoping we could maybe...go?”

Tobias straightens up, wanting to protest that they’d only just gotten back from a trip for her benefit, but...this is what her and August were talking about, right? Caring about other Pokémon’s wants and goals? She’s his partner. For real now. So...he guesses that kind of has to be his goal now, too?

“W-We can take a mission that takes us out that way! So we aren’t missing out on Seeker points,” Nia adds, wringing her paws.

Tobias sighs. “Nah. We, uh...we can go, don’t worry about it.”

Nia visibly relaxes. “R-Really?”

“We’re partners now, right? If some info pops up about the outlaws that I want to find, then you’ll help me too, right?”

“Of course!” Nia says, beaming. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and Tobias can’t find it in himself to doubt her sincerity. “Thank you so much! How far is it?”

Tobias hums, leaning back. He doesn’t think he’s actually been to Ghatha, but he knows roughly where it’s at. “It’ll be pricey, but I think walking to the nearest flight station to hitch a ride could get us there in half a day?”

“Flight station?”

“Yeah. It’s a post where Pokémon are employed to give lifts to those who need to travel. There are land and sky Pokémon available around here, but ocean areas get water types, too.”

“Wait—you mean we would fly there?!”

Tobias meets her enthusiasm with a snort. “You might lose your lunch, but yeah.”

Nia only looks more excited at the prospect, bouncing in place. “I’ve never been flying before! At least, I don’t think so.”

“If evolution was still possible, I could fly myself one day,” Tobias says quietly, looking out at the sky. Imagining the wind breezing by him, the trees far below...it brings to mind rides on his parents’ backs, and his heart squeezes in his chest. Suddenly he recalls a flash of his dream last night. Something about a storm? And…Vivi. Maybe Nia senses the way his mood drops, because she doesn’t say anything more, pointedly focusing on her food.

After a few moments of silence, Tobias reigns in his emotions and looks over at her again. “So you did find Hazel?”

Nia nods, excited all over again. “I did!”

She dives into her experience at Afon’s Cap, telling him about searching the town, meeting the pichu brothers he’d passed once or twice, and breaking down crying at a little outdoor cafe.

(And even though she doesn’t directly say it, there’s an awkward gap in her words that makes it clear that he was part of that breakdown. He actually feels a bit guilty about that.)

“So Margot takes me back to her house, and her mom—a raichu, I think she said?— starts making me tea. I’m thinking that she’s going to tell me about Hazel, but it turns out she is Hazel!”

Tobias lets out a low whistle. “Whoa.”

“Yeah! Blew my mind, that’s for sure. Apparently she goes by Alice now to avoid people bothering her about her human roots. She’s been in the Pokémon world for like 40 years.”

The charmander blinks. 40 years? “So she couldn’t find her way back?”

Nia shifts, some of her enthusiasm dying down. “W-Well, she said she tried for a year or so, but then she just focused on building a life here instead.”

Tobias nods. He supposes that makes some sense.

“But I’m not gonna give up,” Nia says, voice hard with determination. “Even if no one’s found a way back yet, there has to be one, right? There has to be some way to find out how we got here and reverse-engineer that process!”

“So that’s why you want to go to the human thing at Ghatha?”

Nia nods, grinning. “Yeah! I figure if anyone’s gonna have answers or any idea what to do next, it’ll be them. Plus, talking to Hazel was...nice. I want to meet more former humans. Not that Pokémon aren’t great! But it’s different when you weren’t born and raised here. It’s…hard, being dropped into a strange world and getting separated from the people you love. Not feeling comfortable in your own body, or knowing the basics facts that everybody else knows.”

Tobias...hadn’t really thought about it that way. Sure, he knew she missed whoever she left behind, knew she dreamed about them most nights when she whimpered in her sleep, knew she was constantly reading in her free time to try and catch up on the basic knowledge that all regular Pokémon have, but...he hadn’t really thought about how it would feel. To feel so out of place and alone in so many ways, just because of her origins. He can understand that all too well.

Ugh. Now he feels bad again.

“Well, we’ll go check it out then,” Tobias says, decisively. “See if anyone can help.”

For a moment Tobias thinks Nia is about to cry. But then she just smiles, giving him the warmest look he’s received in ages. “Thanks, Tobias.”

He shrugs and looks away, fighting off an embarrassed flush.

“We can look around for information about the trio you’re looking for too, while we’re there,” Nia suggests. He looks up at her, surprised. “There’d probably be more info or rumors about them in a big city like that than out here, right?”

“Uh. Yeah.” Good point. So this trip could actually be beneficial for both of them. “We could ask around at the local guild or outlaw services.”

“Or just talk to the townsfolk,” Nia says thoughtfully. “You never know who knows what.”

For the first time this evening, Tobias lets the smallest ghost of a smile onto his face. “All right, so we have a game plan. Work on local missions and training until closer to the first day of fall, then make our way to Ghatha.”

Nia nods. “Sounds good to me!”

“We’ll have to let August know about our plans, but I’m sure he won’t have a problem with it.”

“Awesome! D’you wanna go let Maggie know and see what she thinks?”

“Sure.”

Nia jumps to her feet, grabbing the half-empty bag of berries. Tobias follows her lead, stopping when he remembers something he’d thought of earlier while training. “Oh. Uh. Hold on.”

Nia turns back to him, head tilted. “Yeah?”

He opens his mouth to talk, but then closes it. Starts again. “If I, uh...start being too much of a jerk again, could you just, like...say something? So I know. I know it’s stupid, but—”

“It’s not stupid,” Nia objects softly, cutting him off. “I’ll say something, sure. But um. I’ll try to be patient with you if you try to be patient with me and all my questions?”

“Deal.”

Nia relaxes, turning back to lead them down to the medical floor. “Great! Uh, can I push my luck and ask something right away?”

Oh no. This is what he’s gotten himself into, isn’t it? Constant questions that a ‘mon fresh out of the egg would know. Fantastic.

Swallowing his impatience, he says, “Shoot.”

“Um. How do you not set everything on fire with your tail? We live in a giant tree.”

Before he can stop it, an incredulous bark of laughter slips out of his throat. Tobias had been expecting something about Ghatha, not this.

Nia turns to him with an embarrassed expression. “Come on, it’s a reasonable question!”

Another snort of laughter escapes him. “No, it’s really not.”

Nia looks close to laughter herself now, gesturing helplessly at his tail. “Fire ignites things, Tobias! Do you know how long I’ve been wondering about this? I didn’t even ask Maggie because everyone treats it so normally!”

“Fine, fine.” Tobias swings his tail around. “Here, touch the flame.”

Nia’s smile drops. “What? No!”

Tobias rolls his eyes. “Do you want to find out or not? We literally just became partners again. I’m not gonna burn you.”

Nia still hesitates, glancing at his face, but then she holds her breath and shoves her paw into the middle of the flame. After a heartbeat she breathes again, staring with wonder. “It’s just...warm.”

“It’s not an actual flame,” Tobias explains, watching as Nia pulls her paw out of the fire before putting it back in and wiggling her fingers around. “Think just...an extension of my body that imitates a flame. If I get really worked up or angry I can make it heat up to where it would hurt.”

“Wow,” Nia breathes. She pulls her paw back out, flipping it over to look at her palm. “So can you feel my hand when I do that?”

Tobias lets his tail relax again. “Nah. It’s not like that. Think of it more like...fur. You don’t feel pain when your fur is cut.”

“Right, no nerve endings,” she murmurs. “That’s incredible! I bet it makes sense in an evolutionary context too, if I look into the charmander line’s behaviors and natural environment...”

She seems like she’s talking more to herself than him now, so Tobias gives her a nudge. “Walking, remember?”

“Oh! Sorry!” She laughs and hurries to continue down the staircase. Tobias follows. After a moment, she speaks up again. “Sorry if this is like, um...uncomfortable to think about? But water is kind of painful to you, right?”

“Normal water stings a bit, yeah. Water type moves are more dangerous.”

“What would happen if your whole body went underwater? Like, your tail and everything.”

“I’d die.”

Nia trips, falling into the wall and turning to him with a shocked expression. “What?!”

Tobias snorts a quiet laugh. “Okay, that’s just a myth. It really depends on what kind of water we’re talking about. If I fell into a stream, I’d be in pain but I’d be able to flail my way to the bank and pull myself out.”

Nia’s brow furrows. She doesn’t look much more relieved. “But?”

“If I fell into like...the ocean or something? I probably would die if no one came to help me. Holds true for most fire types—we get incredibly weak incredibly fast if we’re submerged in water.”

Nia’s frown only intensifies. “That seems like a really unfair disadvantage for fire types.”

Tobias shrugs. “I guess, but we just try to avoid water types and big bodies of water. We make up for it by having really good resilience otherwise. Other types have disadvantages too.”

Nia turns back around and they continue walking. “Like what?”

“Well...you’re a fighting type. So you’re weak to psychic and flying types. Most fighting types are afraid of heights, and depend on solid footing for their attack patterns to really be effective.”

“So it’s hard for them to fight in aerial settings,” Nia concludes.

“Right. And since fighting types are also weak to psychic types, that means they’re just dumber in general.”

Nia stops, whipping around to yelp an offended, “What?!”

Tobias can’t help cackling a laugh. Arceus, she is so gullible.

“Oh my god, stop lying to me!” Nia says, looking like she can’t decide whether to laugh or smack him.

“All right, all right,” he says, motioning for her to keep walking. “It actually means that you’ll have more issues detecting psychic energies. Like...a reflect move or an illusion. It would naturally feel more “off” to me than it would to you. Not sure if that holds true for you since you can use aura abilities, though.”

“Maybe I can ask Val,” Nia says thoughtfully as they turn onto the medical floor and follow the familiar path to Maggie’s room.

“Ugh. She’d probably just tell you something super cryptic and weird.”

Nia laughs. “You just say that because you can’t beat her.”

“You can’t either,” Tobias accuses.

“Yeah, but I’m actually okay with it.”

Tobias huffs an irritated breath, but doesn’t take the bait. Soon enough, they arrive at their usual place. Maggie’s inside, carefully stepping over Nia’s scattering of books as she tries to reach her desk area.

“Oh! Sorry, Maggie!” Nia hurries over to collect the thick tomes and scraps of paper. Tobias rolls his eyes and scoops up a few of the books to dump onto the growing pile in the riolu’s arm.

“You’re fine, dear!” Maggie balances the riolu as she teeters dangerously to one side. Nia stumbles her way to their alcove and gently dumps the pile onto the ground. Maggie chuckles under her breath, turning back to Tobias. “Tobias! It’s good to have you back, love. How was the trip?”

“Uh. It was...fine. I—we—“

“I found Hazel!” Nia’s voice calls from their alcove. Tobias relaxes as the riolu hurries back out, taking over the conversation. Saving his butt once again.

Maggie goes back to cataloguing the herbs on her desk, happily listening to Nia’s retelling. Tobias silently joins the meganium, easily falling into the old routine and working in tandem with her vines. The riolu notably leaves out the bits where Tobias ditched her, and the charmander eases into his work as the two chat.

Tobias won’t ever admit it out loud, but...maybe he could get used to this. He’ll give this partners thing his best shot, and if it doesn’t work out…well, he can burn that bridge when he gets to it.

#pokemon mystery dungeon #pmd #pokemon #riolu #charmander #tesha draws #pmd seekers of soul #tesha writes #nia and tobias

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alj4890 · 3 years

Text

Bryce x F!MC*Chris in a one shot.

A/N Just because I need more Bryce in Open Heart and was feeling a little angsty at how little we see him along with the whole "friend" mess. Plus it has been a crazy week personally spent in doctors' offices and hospitals, so my mind has definitely been in a medical mindset, LOL.

Rating PG for a little bit of language

@krsnlove @openheartfanfics @ofpixelsandscribbles @anotherbeingsworld @choicesficwriterscreations @twinkleallnight

Masterlist

Ghosting

Chris didn't know how things had gotten to this point.

It couldn't be the work hours. She worked the same shifts Bryce did.

They had not had a fight. The last time they were together had been perfect. Romantic. Sheer heaven.

But if it was, then why had she not heard from him?

Not one phone call.

No texts.

Zero conversations at work.

Not even a flash of his flirty smile.

Absolutely nothing.

Chris thought they had become closer than ever when she was poisoned. Knocking on Death's door had caused Bryce to admit...well almost...what was in his heart.

And she certainly had not held back how she felt about him.

Then what happened? Why the silence? Why the pretending they did not have intimate knowledge of the other? Why was Bryce only speaking whenever their friends were around?

"Rookie?"

Chris looked up. Ethan, Harper, and Tobias were staring at her as if in expectation.

"Sorry." She mumbled. "My mind was elsewhere."

Ethan didn't bother to hide his irritation. "Do you know when it will arrive at work or is that too much to ask?"

"Lay off, Ethan." Tobias warned. "Everyone has their moments."

"Not weeks' worth." Ethan snapped. His eyes cut to Chris. "If being a part of the diagnostic team is too much for you then--"

"It isn't." Chris got to her feet, glaring at her mentor...one she thought was a friend. "I know you wouldn't understand since I doubt you're human, but this hospital is not my entire life."

Ethan stiffened, preparing to rip her a new one, when she turned on her heel and left the office.

Grumbling about a pretentious know it all doctor having something rather uncomfortable shoved up a certain orifice that should never be treated so badly, Chris hurried toward the elevator and slammed on the down button.

Without looking up, she stepped forward and into the arms of the one she hadn't had any contact with.

"Whoa there!" Bryce dropped his arms and ran a hand through his hair. "Where's the fire, Valentine?"

Tears pricked her eyes at something like that being the first words he said to her after weeks of radio silence.

Ignoring him, she reached over and punched the first floor button.

Bryce cocked an eyebrow. "Chris?"

She folded her arms and kept her gaze locked on the floor numbers counting down.

He reached over and stopped the elevator.

"What are you doing?!" She knocked his hand away when he brushed her hair over her shoulder.

"Checking to see if there has been any damage to your ear." His lips twisted into that smile she had once claimed made her melt. "I could have sworn you had perfect hearing."

That did it. That was the spark to set off the tinder that had been doused in gasoline, propane, and napalm.

Chris rounded on him, causing him to back up against the wall.

"How would you know if my hearing was perfect? You never talk to me!"

His eyes narrowed. "I do too."

"You don't!" She wanted to grip his scrubs and shake him. "You haven't called. Come over to see me. Asked--"

"I've been busy working and studying." He snapped back. "You're not the only doctor who has to do that."

"Please." Chris hit the button to get them going. "We used to study together. I know you don't break a sweat over books."

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed how hurt Bryce seemed.

"Chris, I know we, well, I mean I--"

She eyed him struggling. "Save it, Lahela. I don't care anymore."

He visibly blanched at her choice of words. "Chris, come on. You don't mean that."

"I do mean exactly that." She walked out of the elevator, leaving him devastated as he watched her walk out the front door of the hospital.

****************

That night, there was a timid knock to Chris's bedroom door.

"Who is it?" Chris called out from under her mound of blankets.

"It's us." Sienna, Elijah, and Aurora poked their heads in.

Chris softly groaned at her roommates' unwillingness to let her wallow in misery.

"Is she under the blankets or preparing to show Scalpel Jockey that she doesn't need him to have fun?"

Chris sat up with a start when she heard Jackie's voice on speaker phone.

"Really?" She sighed. "Every roommate has to be in on this?"

"She's been under at least three blankets." Aurora reported to Jackie.

"Five." Elijah finished counting the corners.

"Five blankets!" Jackie exclaimed. "This is worse than we thought."

Sienna sat down on the bed and threw her arms around Chris. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened." Chris wriggled out of her embrace. "I just needed to be alone." Her bottom lip trembled at the thought of this actually being her reality. "I'm--I was--tired."

"Is she doing that lip twitch when she won't share the whole truth?" Jackie asked.

The other three said, yes.

"Don't you have better things to do?" Chris snapped. "Jackie should be focusing on patients and interns minding their residents. You--"

"I am." Chris could practically hear Jackie's proud smirk. "But I am one of those highly talented doctors who can not only keep watch over my patients and keep those interns in line, but also make a friend of mine get her act together."

"I have my act together." Chris grumbled. "My act can be together while enjoying the comfort of my room."

"Get dressed." Sienna ordered. "We're going to Donahue's."

Chris shook her head. She could feel the familiar sting of tears forming at the thought of seeing Bryce there with the other surgeons. "No thanks."

"I'm sorry," Sienna's voice had sharpened. "Did that sound like an offer?" She jerked the blankets off of Chris. "Aurora, pick out an outfit that will make men drool. Elijah, go start the shower. And you," she jabbed a finger toward Chris, "You will get ready and go out tonight."

Chris's jaw dropped while the others scrambled to do as she said. She could hear Jackie's compliments over Sienna's bossiness as her friends left the room.

Knowing she wouldn't get a moment's peace, the young doctor forced herself out of bed for a night of drunken revelry.

***************

"Here." Sienna slammed down a tray of shots. "First thing to do is to get you relaxed."

"How relaxed do you want her?" Aurora asked eyeing the numerous glasses. "This will send Chris to the emergency room!"

Chris was tempted to down them all just to get out of staying in the bar crowded with doctors.

"They're not all for her." Sienna giggled. "We can't let her drink alone."

Elijah picked one up with a grin. "Anything for a friend."

"Is she drinking?"

Chris's eyes darted toward the cell phone sitting on the table. "Jackie?! Why are you still on the phone?"

"I told you. I have wonderful multitasking abilities." She replied. "Now down three shots."

Chris glared at the phone while doing so. She winced at the burn while slamming the third glass down. "Happy now?"

"It's a start." Jackie cackled. "Now go flirt and mingle. Dance and Gary! Who allowed Fisher to give an enema to the patient in room 3145?!"

"Have fun with that." Chris smirked at the panic she could hear before ending the call.

Aurora blinked a few times after her fourth shot. "I don't know why I try and keep up with all of you when it comes to drinking."

Elijah side hugged her. "Because you're the best."

A shy, delighted smile appeared on her face.

Sienna pushed Chris out of the booth. "Go do what Jackie said."

Chris caught herself before stumbling into Tobias. "Okay, okay. Jeez you are freakishly strong for someone so tiny."

Sienna burst into giggles while trying to appear fierce. "Don't you forget it."

Chris shook her head while making her way to the bar. Not bothering to meet anyone's eyes, she squeezed in between two men and asked Reggie for a bottle of water and a Rum and Coke.

"Looks like you're feeling better, Rookie."

Her gaze flew to Ethan's. "Not really." She cocked her head toward the back table. "I have too many doctors forcing their prescription upon me."

He chuckled at that before sobering. "Listen Chris, I'm--I apologize for being hard on you today."

"Me too. I mean for not giving our work my full attention." She dropped her head for a moment. "I promise I'll get my head back into the game, coach."

He nodded in approval. "I know you will." He squeezed her shoulder before finding his way to his usual seat.

She slipped onto a barstool while waiting on Reggie to finish her order.

"Another round of beers please."

Chris froze at the voice coming from over her shoulder.

Bryce moved beside her before realizing it was Chris.

His eyes widened.

She ignored him.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey." She repeated in what she hoped was an I'm not interested in you, hope you get your heart stomped on tone of voice.

He folded his arms on the bar, drawing her eyes to the way his t-shirt formed over his muscles. His hair was flopping dangerously close to his right eye causing her to be tempted to brush it back. His handsome face held sad longing in its expression.

His eyes were traveling over her low cut top and miniskirt before lifting back up to her face. "You look amazing, Chris."

Her lips twisted into an overly bright smile. "I know." She thanked Reggie when he handed her drinks over. Sliding out of her chair, she made certain to brush up against Bryce.

His body stiffened with lips parting in anticipation. His hands lifted to grip her waist, as if hoping to keep her there.

She immediately sashayed away, casting a mischievous look over her shoulder. "Have a good night Bryce."

"Chris, I--" he slouched against the bar as she left him for the back patio.

*****************

After delivering the beers to his fellow surgeons, Bryce glanced more at the texts Jackie had sent.

If you don't get that big head out of your ass, you will lose Chris forever.

She's not the type to stay single. Chris can only wait so long on you to decide what your relationship is.

Because me and everyone else are going to make sure she moves on.

And stop introducing her as your "friend". Everyone knows that's a load of BS.

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he headed out to the back patio.

***************

Bryce halted in his tracks. Sitting beside Chris with his arm draped along the back of a seat meant for two was Tobias.

The pair were laughing while looking at one another.

Bryce grit his teeth together while trying to appear casual as he hurried over.

"I nearly lost it when you told Mr. Thompson--" Chris jerked her head to the left when Bryce squeezed into the spot next to her.

He smiled at her while slipping his arm around her waist. "Thanks for saving me a seat, Beautiful."

Her eyes narrowed.

"I never saved a seat for you. Feel free to take the one over there, Bryce." She turned once more toward Tobias.

Not one to give up easily, Bryce leaned close to her ear.

"I can't keep my eyes off you." He whispered.

He felt her stiffen. "Try." She ground out.

"Try what?" Tobias asked, thoroughly enjoying the couple's fight.

Color flooded Chris's cheeks.

"Can't we go somewhere private?" Bryce whispered.

"Feel free to leave!" Chris snapped.

"I guess I should go and check on Ramsey." Tobias chuckled at Chris trying to explain she meant for Bryce to leave. "See you at work Thursday, Valentine."

Chris wiggled away from Bryce. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to spend time with my favorite doctor." Bryce scooted closer, keeping his arm around her.

Chris eventually ran out of room to escape him. "I'm not your favorite anything anymore." She lowered her voice when she noticed other patrons turning their attention toward them. "I doubt I ever was."

Bryce's teasing expression fell. "Chris, you have been since that first day I found you crying in the supply closet." He ran his fingers through his hair while huffing at himself. "If I'm being honest, you have been the only one I wanted since I first laid eyes on you."

Chris shook her head. "Yeah, well, wanting me whenever you felt like it is not what I thought we had." She downed the rest of her drink. "I thought we were a couple in love."

Bryce leaned forward, bracing his arms on his legs as he looked at her. "Chris, we--I--you mean more..."

Her heart picked up the pace in anticipation. She knew hoped he felt more for her than friendship with a side of sexual attraction.

When he seemed stuck at finding the right words to express his feelings, she felt her need to be under every blanket in her apartment return.

She rose unsteadily to her feet.

"Chris, wait." Bryce pleaded, reaching out for her hand. "You know how I feel about you."

"No." She shook her head. "I really don't. Each time I think I do, you then stop calling and start introducing me as your good friend."

"You are a good friend. The best." He stood up pulling her into his embrace, hoping she would understand. "I've never had that."

She snorted, trying to push him away. "Please. You make friends everywhere you go."

His arms tightened around her. "I don't mean that. I mean, I've never been friends with someone I dated."

She stilled. "What?"

He shrugged. "I usually picked the most attractive and went after them. I didn't feel the spark of friendship and attraction for any of them." A soft smile formed as he looked into her eyes. "Until you came along."

Her eyes narrowed. "So you've been ghosting me because of that?"

"Yes." He shook his head. "No. I mean, I didn't mean to." His head dropped in frustration. "If I was with anybody else, you would have been the friend I would have gone to for relationship advice. But since you are the one I want to be in a relationship with, I couldn't come talk to you about how I should go about this."

Chris's lips were parted in confusion.

Bryce decided he wanted to communicate his feelings in a different manner.

Taking advantage of the position they were in, he captured her lips in a heated kiss. He felt a sense of triumphant when her fingers tangled in is hair. His hands drifted down, molding her soft curves to his hard muscles.

Bryce was dazed by the way she responded to his touch.

Chris broke away from the kiss. Her breath brushed his lips while she lifted her eyes to his. Gripping his t-shirt, she shook him.

"As a friend," she began, "I suggest you tell this Chris exactly what is in your heart or else she will end up ghosting you for a change."

His typical flirty smirk formed. "You think she might feel the same way about me?"

"Maybe." She replied, smiling back. "You'll never know if you don't tell her."

"I do hate unsolved mysteries." He muttered leaning down to kiss her once more.

Chris placed her index finger on his lips, stopping them from meeting her own. "Feelings first Lahela, then that."

"I love you, Chris." He responded.

She relaxed in his arms. "I love you too, Bryce." She leaned forward to kiss him. "And I'll make sure to give you an outline of how you will behave in our relationship.

His laughter soon turned to a moan from the intensity of her kiss.

"An outline huh?" He teased.

"Maybe a PowerPoint presentation." She smiled against his lips. "What else are friends for?"

#choices bryce lahela #bryce x mc #choices open heart #choices fanfic writers creations #choices oh #choices game #choices fic writers creations

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darling-i-read-it · 4 years

Text

Roti

1x11

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, mental health problems

Author’s Note: Will graham I will die for you any day of the week just text me

I took lines directly from the script so some may seem familiar. Those sentences are not mine.

Official Episode Summary : The BAU team searches for Dr. Gideon, who has escaped custody and intends to kill psychiatrists who have profiled him; Hannibal misleads the team in order to get Will and Gideon in the same room; Jack questions Dr. Chilton about Gideon's escape.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

Tag List: @llperfectsymmetryll

(not my gif)

It was snowing steadily outside when you went to sleep that night. There were a few inches above the ground by the time your consciousness slipped into no man's land. You woke up slowly, looking at the other side of the bed where Will had fallen asleep. The blankets had been kicked off of both of you and you were freezing the second you awoke.

Will laid on his back, body tense but still asleep. Sweat clung to his gray shirt. He was hot when you grabbed his arm and he instantly woke up, staring at you with scared beady eyes.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” you whispered and he shook his head looking around to get his bearings.

“Is this real?” he asked, voice wispy. You nodded quickly and scooted closer to him.

“Real,” you told him. When he looked at you his eyes pleaded and you sat all the way up, looking down at him. “Let’s go outside.” He nodded and clung to your arm as you got out of bed, wiping the sleep from your eyes. You led him outside and you stood on the porch, the dogs running past you into the yard. It had stopped snowing.

He shook beside you but it was colder outside. You didn’t touch him in fear of making him even hotter.

“Take the day off,” you whispered.

“I can’t.”

The alarm went off inside.

“You dodged a bullet Chilton. Gideon’s escape foregoes a trial and a very public humiliation for you,” Wil said as you walked together into the office of Frederick Chilton. You looked around curiously. Will had asked you to come, having serious concerns that this time around they might not let him out. You were to be a trainee, if anyone asked.

Chilton sat behind his desk and raised an eyebrow at the sight of you.

“Who’s this? I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure.”

“Y/N Y/L/N. Trainee,” you said, shaking his hand. Will grabbed your arm and pulled it back quickly. He didn’t want any part of Chilton touching you beyond that handshake.

“They’re letting trainees come on such high profile cases now?” Chilton paused, looking between the two of you. “Ah no, you’re thee Y/N. I wasn’t aware I was in the presence of such a high profile couple.” Will let out an annoyed sigh.

“We’re here to talk about Gideon,” Will said simply.

“How do you do it? Is there a part of you that hates your boyfriend's mind?” Chilton asked.

“You sound like Freddie Lounds,” you said and he feigned hurt

“I can see where you like each other.”

Work that day was hard.

Hannibal noticed.

He gestured for you to come into the office just before Will’s appointment. You stepped inside. You had never been in here alone with Hannibal you were pretty sure. With Will, heck with Tobias or Jack but never just with Hannibal. It made you feel like a patient.

“How is Will?”

“Will is terrible but you know that already,” you whispered. You trailed your finger along his desk and turned around.

“Why don’t you have a seat in the chair?” he asked as you hoisted yourself up onto the desk.

“It makes me feel to much like a patient. When I’m on the desk I’m an observer. I don't’ have to have any input on what you and Will discuss,” you told him. Hannibal walked over to you and leaned against the desk beside you. “He wakes up at night sweating through the sheets, almost crying,” you whispered. “He doesn’t know if I’m real when I comfort him.” You stared straight ahead at the art on the walls. You took a deep breath in.

“How does that make you feel?” Hannibal asked.

“Broken hearted,” you breathed. “LIke I can’t help my best friend. Because I can’t.” You finally looked over at Hannibal.

“You’re doing the best you can,” Hannibal said. “That is occasionally all we can do.” You shook your head and while you stared into Hannibal’s eyes you felt a pull. An emotional pull you hadn’t felt beside him anymore. You pushed it away quickly, looking back at the wall.

You felt an angry lone tear go down your cheek.

“It isn’t enough.”

“Do you consider yourself in any of this? Perhaps that by attempting to take on WIll’s problems you are making more problems for yourself,” Hannibal suggested.

“I don’t care about me or my social life right now. I care about Will.”

The door, which was open, was knocked on as Will walked inside. You wiped your eyes and pushed yourself off the table.

“Am I interrupting?” Will asked. You shook your head and walked over to the door quickly, eager to leave Hannibal to it. Will grabbed your arm before you could leave. You quickly stopped.

“Yeah?”

“I-” he started. “I’m sorry about this morning.” You shook your head and put your hand to his cheek lovingly.

“Don’t worry about it. Have a good session thing,” you said quietly and he let you go. He thought about asking you to stay but thought better of it. He knew that he was hurting you daily by being like this and he hated seeing you hurt almost as much as you hated seeing him hurt.

You shut the door behind you and Will’s eyes welled with tears.

“She loves you,” Hannibal said. “Very much.”

“Glad to know someone will always be in my corner,” he muttered. “Even when I’m not.”

With Gideons escape you were worried about pretty much everything. You sat on your own desk outside the office as Will and Hannibal talked. To get your mind off things you called Alana.

“Hello?”

“You alive? Is this the Chesapeake Ripper?” you asked. Alana laughed mockingly.

“Gideon isn’t the Ripper,” she told you.

“Still.” You paused. “Are you okay?”

“I’m better than your boyfriend. Speaking of, you need a vacation when Will regains his stability for putting up with him. I can’t imagine living with him.” You sighed.

“He cuddles well. Good kisser. You get any hot protective detail?” She hummed a no.

“Thinking about giving into Hannibal's flirting,” she muttered.

“Hannibal's been flirting?” you asked. You kicked your feet around. This was what you needed. A girl talk.

“Sort of. I can’t tell.”

“You're a psychiatrist Alana, how can’t you tell?”

“Because I can’t be my own psychiatrist.” The door to the office opened. Will’s eyes were filled with water.

“I gotta go. Be safe.” You hung up the phone and stood you, bringing your hand to Will’s face. You wiped the tears and noticed very quickly how hot he was. “Wil you’re burning,” you whispered.

“I’m naturally hot,” he joked dryly.

“Shut up. What is your temperature? Take some aspirin.”

“We can check later and I just took some. I just wanna go home.” YOu nodded stiffly and glanced at Hannibal behind him. He gave you a solemn look of pity. You wrapped your fingers around the side of Will’s neck and it ached with the heat.

Alana handed you a bowl of ice cream and you took it, sitting on the chair in her office. She sat on her desk facing you and the window.

“If you get killed hanging out with me Will is never going to forgive you,” she said, pointing her spoon at you. You took a bite of your ice cream and then pointed your spoon at the men around the room, watching.

“If he gets through them perhaps it was fate,” you suggested. “Plus Will told me to come.” It was true. When Alana invited you for dinner Will practically shoved you through the door. The hunt for Gideon was on and he figured it would be safer with a detail than with him at work.

He almost dropped you off at Hannibal’s but decided against it when he thought about it.

“I hope he’s okay,” you whispered offhandedly.

“You don’t need to worry about him,” Alana said.

“It’s literally my job as his girlfriend to worry about him.” Your foot bounced nervously.

“It’s why I didn’t date him when I had the chance,” she said.

“Because he’s to much work?”

“I didn’t know if he was stable or not.” You nodded slowly.

“But you like Hannibal whom is likely hiding his instability,” you said. She laughed and shook her head.

“I never said I liked him. I just said he might be flirting.”

There was a shot outside the window. You stood up quickly and looked outside to see Gideon on the ground and Will, kneeling beside him. You dropped your bowl. It broke. You ran out the front door and quickly skidded to the ground beside Will, grabbing his arm. He looked at you and for a moment you weren’t sure if he recognized you.

“Real or-”

“Real. Real.” You put your hands on his cheeks and he was still burning. He put his head on your lap and you looked at Alana who had just come outside. “Call Jack. And Hannibal.” She nodded and ran back inside to get the phone.

You held Will on your lap, somehow calm, running your hands through his hair wildly to get him to stop shaking.

Hannibal met you at the hospital after talking to Jack. You sat beside Will’s bed, his hand in yours as you looked at his unconscious body. You were still crying, so scared for him.

“His temperature was 105, degrees and I didn’t make him go to the doctor,” you whispered. Hannibal shook his head, walking toward you. He pulled up a chair and sat beside you.

“You can’t blame yourself for this,” he whispered.

“What did Jack say?”

“Nothing you want to hear right now,” he told you. “I swear I will rip that man's head right off hi-”

“It’s okay. It’ll all be okay.”

Hannibal took your other hand and you let him hold it as you stared at Will, your face tear stained and puffy.

“Will he be okay?” you whispered.

“Will’s going to be alright,” Hannibal whispered but he honestly wasn’t sure anymore.

1x12

#will graham x reader #will graham imagines #hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal lecter imagines #will graham x reader x hannibal lecter #hannibal lecter x reader x will graham

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moon-light-jukebox · 3 years

Text

see? - [Reid x Reader] - Chapter 4

masterlist

previous chapter // series index

Summary: Spencer’s entire world has shifted, but before he can dwell on any of it, he and the rest of the team must race against the clock to find the unsubs newest victim.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Category: Angst (for now)

Word Count: 3.7k for Chapter 4

Content Warning: Normal Criminal Minds stuff. Mentions of drug addiction. Angst

A/n: This chapter is the last planned one from Spencer’s POV. This is sort of another cliffhanger...but I’ll try to have chapter 5 out as soon as I can. Thank you for reading!

-- The Price We Pay --

(Spencer’s POV)

The most terrible moments in my life never happened slowly. I couldn’t be sure if that’s because of how my brain processed them or that’s just how they happened.

My hours with Tobias seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. My father all but ran out of my life. The light left Maeve’s eyes in a fraction of a second.

This was different.

I heard Hotch's question; I saw the pain ripple across his face when Garcia gave a muffled reply.

“Penelope,” he said, his voice sounding hollow. “I know you know where she is. I think she’s…she’s in danger, Penelope. Please.”

Hotch doesn't say please. Hotch doesn't beg. I knew that, of course, I knew that. I had known the man for over 10 years now.

That is why his behavior didn't make sense.

Looking back, I think this moment happened so slowly because my brain refused to process the gravity of this moment. It was trying to protect me.

Why would Hotch ask about Y/n right now? I knew Garcia must have helped her go into hiding…but why were we talking about it now?

Despite my brain lagging, my body knew something was wrong. My lungs seized. I heard Rossi say something. His voice was coming from the right…but I couldn't hear him. It's like I was underwater; everything was muffled.

My body was going into shock, but I couldn’t understand why.

“Reid. Reid.” I felt a hand on my shoulder, gripping tightly, trying to anchor me to the moment. “Spencer, come on, kid. Focus.”

He never calls me Spencer, I thought, turning my head to the left to meet the wide brown eyes of my friend. “Derek? What…You’re still driving back.”

“We were a block away.” He turned me more towards him, his left hand coming up to grip the back of my neck, applying just enough pressure to make me focus. “I know this is hard, Kid. But we need you.”

Realistically it had only been minutes since Hotch picked up his phone, but it had felt like hours. And everyone in this room had already pieced together a puzzle I was still struggling to see.

I blinked. Then I blinked again. “Y/n doesn’t have a family." When I turned my gaze to Hotch, I saw my unit chief, my boss, my friend tense for a second before he lifted his head, meeting my gaze head-on. "You…You created the Nightingale system after Haley died. It's emergency family relocation. She's…she wasn't close enough with any of her family to use it."

All of the pieces of the puzzle were there, right there in front of me, but I couldn't snap them together.

Hotch didn't say anything for a moment; he just looked at me. Then he lowered the phone from his ear, clicking a button before the sound of clicking keys filled the room. "You're on speaker, Garcia."

"Sir?" she questioned, her voice nasally and thick with congestion. But even though that, just that one word was dripping with sadness and unease.

"You need to hurry, Penelope. We think the unsub may already have her."

She gave a choked sob before the clicking of her computer keys got faster.

But this doesn’t make sense. “The unsub only takes pregnant women,” I rasped. “He’s…he’s after…but he’s not after any pregnant women…he’s after…”

My mind seemed to wake up with that thought, adrenaline finally running through my system and becoming useful.

Pregnancy, on average, lasts for 280 days. Our unsub wanted heavily pregnant women…he wanted women that were about to go into labor.

Images of the night I was outside her apartment flashed in my mind. The only night I had ever had with her…279 days ago.

The thought of her being with someone else pained me, but I grasped onto the idea with both hands, holding on tightly.

“She’s not…she doesn’t fit the victimology. She….she wouldn't be far enough along. Not unless…" My words hung in the air, my tongue-tied in my mouth, refusing to finish them.

Because if the unsub had her…she would have been pregnant when she left.

My world was slowly shifting into focus at the same moment I felt JJ’s hand on my upper arm.

“Spence,” JJ whispered.

“Did you know?” I choked out. “Did all of you know?”

Morgan clicked his tongue against his teeth before he shook his head. “Nah, kid. I didn’t know.”

But my eyes weren't on either of the people at my sides; my eyes were across the room. My eyes were locked on the man I had always trusted with my life. The man who was the best father I had ever known.

“No one knew besides Garcia and myself,” he said firmly. “I ordered her not to tell anyone else. If you have any issues, you can take them up with me.”

“If I have any issues?” I hissed, my teeth snapping together. It wasn’t until I felt wetness on my cheeks that I realized I was crying. “You…She’s pregnant.”

All of the tension seemed to leave his face, leaving him looking as battered as I felt. “We’ll do this later, Spencer.”

He never called me Spencer. “Is…is the baby…mine?” I had to ask, but everyone in the room already knew.

The man I thought was my friend nodded. “Yes.”

“Hotch!” JJ shrieked. “What were you thinking?! What was Y/n thinking?!”

Any emotion in his eyes hardened at her tone, his shoulders squared. The familiar coldness I saw when he faced down monsters and madmen took over his face. He didn’t look like my friend, like the man I had always admired. He wasn’t Hotch, he wasn’t Aaron; he was Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner. And he was giving that look…to me.

“I did this because she asked me to. She showed up at my house in the middle of the fucking night because of a fight she had with you. She was…She is like family to me, and she was terrified. Because she went to tell the man she loved that she was pregnant, and he was cruel to her. He said he wished she was dead."

I didn’t flinch under his words; I knew what I had done.

“How could she trust you after that? She didn’t even know you had a problem, Reid.”

My addiction was always the elephant in the room. It didn't matter that I had struggled with it for the better part of 10 years; the team still refused to speak about it out loud.

Until now.

“You should have told me,” was all I could say.

Hotch didn’t budge. “You should have been a man worth telling.”

I flinched then; it was like he shot me. I think it would have hurt less if he had shot me.

Rossi stepped forward, placing a hand on our unit chief’s shoulder. “We don’t have time for this. If he does have our girl, we have to find her. We have to find…them.”

“Garcia,” Hotch barked out.

"I've got it! Her address is 20 Royal Oak Road. But I don't know if she'll be there. I hacked into her computer, and she had…she had a doctor's appointment scheduled for tonight."

I wanted to ask why she would have a doctors’ appointment scheduled for tonight…but I knew why. “Who is her doctor?”

“Reid,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry-“

“Who is her doctor, Garcia?”

“His name is Dr. Johnson. He’s affiliated with St. Mercy’s hospital.”

Hotch grabbed his jacket, already heading for the door. “Rossi, you and Kate go to the abduction site. See if they have any sort of surveillance, witnesses. Anything. JJ, you’re with me at her home. Morgan, I need you to get to the hospital. Spencer-“

I didn’t hear what he told me. I was already out the door.

I had climbed into Morgan’s SUV without thought, settling in my seat a moment before he jumped behind the wheel.

My friend didn’t say anything while we made the 5-minute drive to St. Mercy’s hospital. He said nothing while we both ran inside the hospital’s entrance. The first time he spoke was to the nursing staff, flashing his badge and asking them to pull Dr. Johnson away from whatever patient he was with.

I’m not sure what Derek said, I’m not sure how he was able to convey to them how urgent the matter was, but the doctor was in front of us moments later. He was an older man with thinning white hair and tanned weathered skin.

“Sir, I’m SSA Derek Morgan, this is Dr. Spencer Reid. We’re with the FBI, and we’d like to ask you a few questions about one of your patients.”

“I’m afraid I can’t talk about any of my patients without-“

“I understand that sir, but these are extenuating circumstances. We believe she may be in danger. You heard about the murder in Eugene yesterday?”

All color drained from the man’s face. “You think the person who did that has one of my patients?”

“Yes, we do,” Derek said firmly. He was always so good at this part. He could talk his way into everything. I couldn’t help but wonder what that must be like. “She’s very heavily pregnant, possibly…possibly with a boy.”

“I have several patients that are in their last trimester but…” he trailed off, shifting uncomfortably.

“We have reason to believe that Y/n Y/l/n might be in danger. Her records indicate she had an appointment here with you tonight.”

Dr. Johnson frowned. “I don’t have a patient by that name. I…” he trailed off, his gaze shifting over to me. “I have a Y/n Reid.”

Ever since my confrontation with Hotch, I had been existing in a detached state. Maybe it was my mind’s way of keeping me safe. But hearing her name… “She goes by Reid?” The corners of my lips twitched involuntarily despite the pain radiating from my chest. Of course, she did. It would be the last name I would ever look for.

“I’m afraid I really can’t give out any more information –“

“How far along is she?” I interrupted.

“I’m sorry, I can’t-“

Every single bit of calm and control I had inside of me seem to snap all at once. I took a step forward, my hands balled into fists at my sides. “Listen,” I seethed, my voice like iron. “Not only am I a federal agent, but I am also the fucking father. I want to know when she’s due!”

Dr. Johnson was quite a bit shorter than I was; and while I had never felt like a particularly intimidating person, he seemed to shrink back under my focus. "She's…she's set to be induced tomorrow morning. I have my patients come in the night before. I wanted…I wanted her to be induced earlier but…" He adjusted the glasses on his nose. "She's just so stubborn. She thought she'd go into labor on her own. But I can’t let her go over 42 weeks. She’ll be 41 weeks and 6 days tomorrow. But she never checked in for the appointment.”

“Son of a bitch,” Morgan breathed, pulling his phone out of his pocket and typing rapidly.

“Do…do you know the sex of the baby?” I asked, still trying to hold on to a hope that we were wrong; somehow, despite all of the evidence, we had all been so wrong about this.

“I do. She…Ms. Reid doesn’t know. She wanted it to be a surprise.” He looked uncomfortable for a moment. “Do you…do you want to know?”

“NO, he doesn’t.” I turned to look at Morgan, my eyes struggling to focus. “You’ll find out in the delivery room, kid. We’re going to find her. We’re going to find them.”

It seemed like a ridiculous thing to stress, but it brought me some small sort of comfort while my friend led me out of the hospital to the SUV.

Morgan had called Hotch to confirm what we all already knew. Y/n had disappeared to Bend, Oregon, and she was in the final days of her pregnancy. Rossi and Kate found a car registered to Y/n Reid abandoned in a grocery store parking lot. There was an infant car seat and two bags in the back seat. One bag contained baby items…the other were the sorts of things a mother might need in the hospital.

We were all to meet Hotch and JJ at Y/n's apartment, and Hotch had asked that I come along in the hopes that I would see something everyone else had missed.

Because I had known her better than anyone.

“Kid,” Morgan said softly, breaking the silence inside the car. “We’ll find her…we’ll find them.”

I found myself nodding in agreement automatically. It felt like the right sort of reaction to have. My friend was worried about me, and sometimes you just do things because it’s better for the other person.

I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how Y/n felt that night. The night she left.

"Her phone is still on," I found myself saying. Morgan didn't respond, but I saw him glance over at me out of the corner of his eye. "The same phone she had before she left. I don't know why she never disconnected it. Sometimes…" I broke off, emotion suddenly clogging my throat, threatening to strangle me. "Sometimes, I call it just to hear her voice. I know she won't pick up. But the…the message is still her voice. I always leave a message. I don't know if she ever checks them. But I always leave one…just…just in case." My hand came up to wipe angrily at my cheeks, embarrassed both by my confession and the emotions I couldn't seem to hold in.

“She’ll hear the messages, Reid.”

I gave him another automatic nod.

It turns out Y/n didn’t live too far from the police station. Her home was in an apartment complex on the south end of town, on the third floor. I couldn’t the number of steps from the elevator to her blue front door. Twenty-three.

The instant I stepped inside, it felt wrong; everything felt wrong. The living room was basic and utilitarian. Impersonal. Nothing like Y/n. She was the sort of person who always felt like home.

This didn’t feel like anybody’s home.

I followed Morgan through the house, taking note of how clean and orderly everything was. Y/n had never been messy, but her apartment at home was filled to the brim with objects and things that made her smile.

"There are no pictures on the walls, nothing personal,” Morgan noted, giving voice to my own thoughts. “Hotch?” he called.

“We’re in here,” his voice replied, leading us down a small hallway.

On the right side of the hallway, there was another door that had been thrown open, and we found the other member of my team standing inside.

The room was painted a pale grey with white curtains hanging across the only window. There was a small, darker grey crib against the biggest wall and a rocking chair in the corner.

Something about the sight of that rocking chair was a punch to the stomach because I could see her in it so clearly. Her eyes soft while she moved the chair back and forth, holding a tiny bundle in her arms.

How long had I wanted to be a father? How many times had I dreamed of starting a family with Y/n…only to lose it all now?

“Spence,” JJ said, stepping towards me.

I couldn't look at her; I ignored her because I couldn’t do anything else. “The doctor said she didn’t know the gender of the baby. But I don’t think she would have painted the room pink or blue. She was never that sort of person.”

My eyes ran over the rest of the room. There was a small chest of drawers against another wall with some sort of platform on top of it. A changing table, I thought absentmindedly. There were pictures of stars hung on the walls, small boxes of diapers stacked neatly in the closet.

By the time I made my way over to the rocking chair, I could barely see anything. My torture by Tobias had cost me so much already; my addiction had robbed so much from me. But now I was standing in my child's nursery, and I was having trouble remembering any pain that had ever felt worse than this.

There was a small table beside the chair with a small lamp placed in the middle, but my eyes were fixed on the book pearched on the edge of the table. My fingers wrapped around the spine of the book, lifting it with shaking hands. The cover was white with a tiny bunny rabbit on the corner.

“Kid,” I heard Morgan say softly from behind me.

I couldn’t stop myself from flipping open the book, even though I knew it would bring me nothing but pain.

'The Story of You' was written on the first page in swirling script, right above a sonogram picture. My eyes moved over the outline of a face that I knew I would love for the rest of my life,;my fingers moved over the glossy paper, tracing the outline of my child's features.

A strangled sound left my throat when I read the words underneath the photo, my eyes squeezing tight.

“Spencer?” Rossi asked, coming up to my side. “What is it?”

I couldn’t open my eyes, but I tried to clear my throat, willing myself to speak. “The doctor said she didn’t know the baby’s sex…but…but I think she did anyway.”

Because underneath the photo, I saw her familiar handwriting.

Knowing the name of a child that wasn't even born yet wouldn't help me find her; it wasn't relevant to the case, but I couldn't move past it.

“Isaac Benjamin Reid.”

I couldn’t be sure how long the silence lasted before Rossi asked if that name had any significance to y/n.

“No, I don’t think so,” I said softly. “It’s…it has significance to me. Isaac Asimov is my father’s favorite author. I hadn’t read any of his works since my dad left…but one day on the jet, Y/n got me talking about it. The next day I found a copy of I, Robot on my desk at work. She didn’t say anything, but I knew it was her.”

It was always her.

“And Benjamin?” Hotch prodded.

I let out a heavy exhale. “Ben Walker is my NA sponsor. He has been for over 8 years.” It wasn’t lost on me that none of my team knew about Ben. I never talked about that part of my life; I hadn’t even told Y/n he was my sponsor. I had no idea how she knew about him, but there was no doubt in my mind that’s why she’s selected this name.

“This doesn’t make sense,” JJ muttered, causing me to finally look up at her. “I’m sorry, but none of this makes sense. You said that she didn’t know the baby’s sex.”

"That's what the doctor said," I clarified before closing the book softly. "I guess she just had a feeling."

My friend nodded. “Of course. But how did the unsub know? Garcia has been digging for over an hour. Y/n was…she was hiding, Reid. She worked from home. She doesn’t have a social media presence. Garcia can’t even find any indication that she has friends.”

“So, how did the unsub find her?” Hotch finished. “How did the unsub know she existed? Let alone that she was pregnant with a boy.”

Kate stepped into the room, her eyes moving over everything. "Alright. We need to revisit each victim. Then we need to determine if he came here for y/n or if he just found her. If she's over 40 weeks, I'm sure it's obvious that she's pregnant."

JJ moved to the window and pulled back the curtains, her eyes moving over the street. “But how did he know it was a boy? How did he know any of the victims were pregnant with boys?”

The ringing of Hotch’s phone cut through the air. “Go ahead, Garcia.”

“Sir, I’ve been trying to hack not the security systems of the buildings around the supermarket. I’m not sure what I’m looking for, but I’m trying to find any vehicle that seems evil.”

“Did you find anything?”

"Kevin and I have been running license plates against the state of Oregon's DMV. There's a bank two blocks away from the grocery store. Their security footage captured a black sedan driving by about 15 minutes after Y/n's debit card was used at the grocery store."

Rossi spoke next. “Is there any reason to suspect that car?”

“The plates belong to a different car, a red Volvo. It’s not much, but it’s all I’ve got.”

Hotch nodded. “It’s our best lead. Can you track the car through traffic cameras?”

“Doing it now, sir.”

We all started moving towards the door before Hotch gave another order. "Send us the most recent locations, then every single location afterward as soon as you get it. We'll split up and try to canvas the area. Y/n could go into labor at any moment. He couldn't have gone far."

Hotch didn't bother telling me to stay behind this time, but I felt his eyes on me when I got into one of the SUVs. Maybe it was guilt, maybe it was his knowledge that I wouldn't listen to him anyway.

It didn’t matter.

Morgan set off at a breakneck speed, his door barely closing before we started moving. His posture was tense, and his eyes were moving over the landscape rapidly.

“She’s gonna be okay, Spencer.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “You don’t know that Derek.”

“Yes, I do,” he said firmly. “She’s not just a pregnant woman. She’s a profiler. She’s one of the best profilers I’ve ever seen. I don’t know how this son of a bitch found her, but Garcia created her background. There is no fucking way he knew who she is. He doesn’t know he took an FBI agent.”

The thought should have brought me comfort, but it didn't. It just tore an even bigger hole in my chest. Y/n had left because of me. She had gone into hiding because she was afraid of me. She had a new identity that had potentially made her vulnerable…made my son vulnerable because of me.

Morgan was right; we had to find her.

Because I didn’t think I would be able to survive her paying for my mistakes.

------

Permeant Taglist : @rachelxwayne @pinkdiamond1016 @sickeninglyshoujo @justagirllookingforherplace @nanocoool @andiebeaword @imjusthereformggcontent @rainsong01 @violentvulgarvolatile @mys2425 @al3xmnd @imfalling-inlove @cielo1984 @shadyladyperfection @kissingvalentino @goofygubler14 @levylovegood @diesinspanishbcimhispanic @criminalmindzjunkie @addie5264 @hopefulfangirl24 @vellichor01 @ellegreenawayapologist @mcntsee @eevee0722 @peacedolantwins2 @ashwarren32 @goldencherrymooon @pumpkin-reads @mood---board @gublersbooblers @lesbian-emilyprentiss @badkittybang @quxxnxfhxll @jessayln-jpeg

All Spencer Reid: @mediocre-writer @haihappen5 @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist @hatemyselfbutitsokay

See? Series taglist: @bluegoopplaidsalad @notasofti @bisoner @haylaansmi @ameliamonster @amirahroronoa @gredvb @riley-the-pan-nonbinary @solangeltorres @gwendolyn02 @sallyjacksontheweirdauthor @fangirl-nonsense @immahotmess @falcon-arrows @obsessivereaderchick @flor-sin-petalo @rexorangecouny @keomoon @hermanthewormman @sakurashortstack @criminallminds @boiled-onionrings @sierraraeck @t0xicllama @thequeerishere555 @lexiessimagination @blameitonthenight21 @abbyg217 @lil-roaster @wooya1224 @faesyl @tessa-laurel @little-blue-fishie @fandomyfangirl @youaremyfiveever @evelyncade @sunshine-ncs @maikanna @wishiwasabook @swiftingday @thelastfirerbender @alligatorrampage @notebookgirl30 @forever-a-cynical @alligatorrampage @samayoshito @readandreid @mvlanchqly @odetobeetlebum @notebookgirl30 @meowiemari @calm-and-doctor @overthelame-bow @virtualpeanutartisanjudge @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @spencersblog @justanothetfangirl @jhillio @peculiarinsomniac @spencer-blake-supremacy @adoregin @forever-a-cynical @supersouthy @smile-child-13 @angiieguevara @we-are-dreamers42

let me know if you’d like to be added to any of my tag lists.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #dr spencer reid #Dr Reid #dr spencer reid fics #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fan fic #criminal minds angst #Spencer Reid angst #reid angst #see? series

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imagineaworlds · 3 years

Text

I Love You (Part Fifty-Five) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: Cursing. PTSD. Depression. Mentions of a hostage situation, shooting, murder, suicide, physical trauma.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 10,588

Timeline: Season 8 Episodes 13. Right after part fifty-four.

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Before the front door was even closed, Hotch grabbed my waist, and he pulled me into a hug so tight I thought my lungs would collapse. To be fair, after a moment of being caught off guard, I started squeezing him back with every ounce of strength I had, too. It had been such a long, stressful day. We did everything we could have to help Reid, but it wasn’t enough. I had sat across from him in our house just that afternoon, promising him that Maeve would be alright. I told him that she was going to survive for him, and that he would get to hold her in his arms, just as Hotch and I were holding each other that night. But I lied. Maeve… She… Well, she wasn’t as lucky as I was. When I was taken, I practically knew how to get myself out of it because of my training, but Maeve had been waiting around for her knight in shining armor to come rescue her.

Watching Reid break down over Maeve’s body, refusing to even touch her because he didn’t get to hold her while she was still alive… I couldn’t help but think about the contrast between them and us. I remembered when Hotch found me, he broke down out of happiness and relief. He was so glad that I was safe, that I was alive, and that we were going to have a baby. We were lucky because he got to hold me in his arms again, kiss my lips as much as he wanted, to say “I love you” until his throat was sore. We got another chance together, whereas Reid and Maeve didn’t even have their first chance. It all felt unfair.

For some reason, I almost wished that I could trade places with them, just for a bit, so that they could be holding one another like Hotch and I were, so that they could kiss each other for the first time, so that they could look each other in the eyes and say “I love you”. Even though I didn’t want to lose Hotch in a million years, it almost felt like we had stolen some of the time that Reid and Maeve deserved— even though that wasn’t the case, realistically. It just felt like it should have been them standing there, relieved to be with each other. Spencer had been through so much. He deserved to be happy. He didn’t deserve this mess. He should have been able to hold Maeve…

Hotch’s arms constricted around me more and I sort of felt his knees buckle. He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck, breathing through his nose against my skin. I heard him sniffle lightly as a cold tear drop ran from his cheek and onto my neck.

“I’m here,” I cooed to him, pulling at the ends of his hair. “You’ll never lose me.”

That wasn’t guaranteed, though. For all I knew, I could have been lying to Hotch, too. Maybe someone would take me again, and they’d actually have the balls to end me. Maybe someone would take Hotch and I would be left to raise our family on our own… The thought made me want to throw up. I hadn’t put it in perspective like that. It was easy to think about dying— painful, but still easy. To think about losing Hotch randomly now, with our growing, happy family… My head started to spin, and I started to cry. I couldn’t lose him.

Hotch’s arms moved around me so that he could sweep me off my feet and cradle me close to his chest. I let him lift me off the ground, one of his arms sliding under my knees, his other one holding my back up. I kept my hold on his neck, letting him hug me as hard as he could as he slowly dropped to his knees.

We had all lost so much— Hotch more than anyone. But Reid had been through so many traumatic, unfair events. It all started with Tobias Hankle, and everything since then seemed like an attack on him, too. This… How was he supposed to recover from this? How were we supposed to help him?

That empty question kept me up all night. Hotch and I hardly even made it to the couch, still cuddled in each other’s arms, eternally grateful that we could be together. Nothing needed to be said. Nothing even needed to happen. We just sat in silence, listening to each other’s breathing, feeling the way our hearts beat in our chest, thinking about how things could have ended much differently in Hawai’i. All this time, we took each other for granted. We took our daughter for granted. If I hadn’t acted as quickly as I did when they took me on our honeymoon, and if Hotch hadn’t found me as soon as he did, then it was entirely possible that he wouldn’t have me—or neither of us would have our little ray of sunshine. We weren’t going to forget this. I don’t think anyone on the team was going to forget. Ever.

----

No one heard from Reid for about a week, and after an extremely tough case where everyone was still trying to reach out to him, I decided to head over there with Scarlet. I figured that he would be willing to see me if she was with me. After connecting the way we did during Maeve’s kidnapping, I thought that it was worth a shot. Maybe he would talk to me. If he wouldn’t reach out to his closest friends, like JJ and Garcia, maybe he would at least open up to someone who wasn’t as emotionally involved. It was easy to do that sometimes. Opening up to our loved ones was difficult because we never wanted to be judged or ridiculed by the people we knew best; but opening up to someone who was practically a stranger, like a therapist or someone on the internet, felt freeing. Since Reid and I had never been close, we hardly knew anything about each other. I’d said it before, but that was no one’s fault. It happened naturally. But now that he was suffering, and it was clear that he needed someone to talk to, I decided that I would at least try to be that shoulder he could cry on.

I adjusted Scarlet on my hip as I headed up the steps to Reid’s apartment. JJ had given me the address after I told her my idea, and she agreed that it didn’t hurt to try. When I reached the top of the steps, I stopped after noticing all of the gift baskets gathered in front of his door, all unbothered and unopened. I cocked a brow. That wasn’t right. Why were these all here, and why hadn’t Reid at least taken them inside once he knew no one was just outside, waiting to bother him? Was something wrong? Nothing felt wrong. But maybe that was why he hadn’t been in contact with any of us since Maeve’s death.

I stepped over the baskets to urgently knock on his door. “Reid, are you in there?” I leaned around Scar to get a look at the gift baskets, noticing the huge pink, cursive print that read: To Reid, From Garcia. I smiled lightly. Oh. I knocked again. “Reid, wellness check.” Nothing. “Sound off or I’m coming in.”

“Here,” I heard him respond weakly.

I let out a relieved sigh. “I brought Scarlet. Do you want to at least talk to her, if you won’t talk to anyone else?” I heard shuffling inside, the sound of a heavy piece of furniture being dragged around and books being kicked out of the way. And then the door opened. There was only enough space for Scarlet to fit through, so I caught the hint. “Okay.” I helped Scarlet down to the ground and held her tiny hands as she struggled to slowly waddle into his apartment. The door shut on my face the second Scarlet was inside. I scoffed. “I’ll be sitting out here, I guess.” I turned and slowly crouched onto the ground, groaning as I did so, catching myself before I could topple over after my foot hit one of the gift baskets Garcia left. I inspected it carefully. There was chocolate, containers of cherries and nuts, and stupid miniature figures from Doctor Who. I looked at Reid’s door while asking, “Hey, Reid, do you mind if I snack on some of this stuff?” I waited a moment for an answer, but nothing came, so I decided to just go for it. There was too much there for him to eat on his own, anyhow.

Halfway through a bag of Hershey Kisses, my phone started ringing. I leaned to the side so that I could grab it out of my back pocket while still chewing on the piece I had just popped into my mouth moments prior. Aaron Hotchner. I sighed as I answered the call. With a full mouth, I said, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered honestly, “I just wanted to check to see if you got through to Reid.”

I looked over my shoulder at the door to see that there still wasn’t any movement or noise. “Well… He opened the door and let Scarlet inside, but he kept me out.”

“He let Scarlet in?”

“They really connected the day Mae—” I stopped myself. “He’s always been fond of her, baby. You remember when she was born. He had just lost Emily, and hearing that we named our daughter after her… I think something just clicked for him.” I trapped the phone between my ear and my shoulder so that I could unwrap another piece of chocolate. “He’s so good with her, baby. You should have seen him that day.”

“You don’t think it’s weird?”

I shook my head somewhat, still keeping the phone trapped. “Not at all. I think he’s just lonely.”

“But the whole team—”

“I think he needs someone impartial, Aaron.”

He sighed on the other end. “You’re right.”

I smirked. “I know.”

“When do you think you’ll be home?”

“Whenever one of them gets too tired or fussy to keep hanging out with each other.”

“E.T.A?” he teased.

“Not available.”

He laughed. “Fair enough.” I could hear him pouring himself a drink in the background, probably a glass of bourbon since the case we had gotten back from last night was a doozy, and his reward was a few drinks here and there whenever we made it through one like that. “I’m worried about him. I don’t want him to leave the team.”

“I know… I don’t either. But it’s his choice, Aaron. If it were you in his shoes, what would you do?”

“You know what I did.”

“Yeah, but you had me there to pick up the pieces. I mean, now, if you were in his shoes today—”

“Stop,” he demanded quickly. “Please.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized sincerely. I reached to grab a gummy bear. Garcia had really outdone herself with all of these custom gift baskets that she clearly put together on her own. “It’s just been on my mind.”

“Mine, too.”

The steps just ahead of me started creaking, giving me a heads up that someone was coming. I looked up to see Morgan’s bald head slowly appear. I laughed to myself at the thought, watching as more and more of Morgan began revealing himself to me until he finally reached the top stop, at which point he looked over and spotted me. We both froze. A smile grew on his face, too. We both looked guilty when we realized that we had been caught coming to check on Reid, even though we knew that it was potentially futile.

“Baby, Morgan just got here. I’m going to have to call you back later.”

“Okay,” Hotch said, “call me when you’re on your way home.”

“Of course. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I hung up on Hotch, leaning to put my phone back into the pocket of my pants. As Morgan sighed and sat down next to me on the floor, I handed him a handful of chocolates. He silently thanked me. We both started snacking on the chocolates, crumbling up the small tin foil wrappers and piling them up between us. I rested my head on Morgan’s shoulder.

“He’ll only see Scarlet,” I whispered.

“Well, the kid’s always liked talking to kids,” Morgan whispered back. “He’s the only one who can get through to the child victims.”

“I know.”

“He would have made a great dad one day…” He threw a wrapper angrily at the wall opposite us.

I scrunched my brows together. “He can still—”

“Not after that.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

Morgan chuckled lightly. “You’ve always been an optimist.”

“And you’ve never been a pessimist. So, what gives?”

“Nothing.”

“And I refuse to believe that,” I teased.

Morgan looked down both sides of the hallway to make sure no one was around or eavesdropping. “You know how I’ve been teaching those Academy lessons on Saturdays?”

“Yeah, you make Prentiss go.”

“Yeah, I do.” He nodded. “Has anyone told you which drill I make my cadets do the most?” I shook my head in response. “Home invasion where an entire family is being held hostage. One adult male, one adult female, one son, one baby. Care to guess why I do that one the most?”

My shoulders fell and my eyes softened. All this time, I had been so caught up in the fact that, as Jack and Scarlet's parents, it was mine and Hotch’s responsibility to take care of them and protect them. I never stopped to ask myself how Morgan and Prentiss possibly felt responsible, too. Morgan was the one who first took the initiative to befriend me when I joined the BAU, and we had been best friends since. We had always been protective of each other, but that came with the territory of being field partners, friends, and now he was the godfather of Scarlet. He probably felt an immense urge to protect us because we were his family. I couldn’t stand the idea of facing another Foyet incident, but Morgan was likely terrified of it happening, too, because he didn’t want to be the one to find us.

“There are nights where I can’t sleep,” he explained, “because I have nightmares about what could happen if something bad happens and I can’t save you. You were the first person I had ever met who understood what I went through as a kid, and you were the only other person I knew that was just as damn stubborn as I was to not admit it. You were the one who held me when I found out that Garcia had been shot. You were the one who made sure that I was okay in New York, even though you were the one we should have been worried about. I was the shoulder you cried on for months after Haley’s death because you didn’t want to worry Hotch or make him more upset than he already was. And then Hotch called to tell me that someone took you in Hawai’i, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I worried endlessly every day that you were gone. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t think about anything other than finding you because I wanted my best friend back. I wanted my partner back. I wanted my sister back. And when we found you, I was so relieved. It felt like I could finally breathe after holding my breath all my life because you were safe, you were in Hotch’s arms, and you were still fucking worried about me even though you shouldn’t have been. And then when Scarlet was born…” He choked on a light sob. “And you asked if I would be her godfather, I made a promise to myself in that moment that I would never, ever let anything happen to you guys ever again. You and Hotch have been through too damn much, and I can’t risk losing my partner again. So that was why I slept on your couch almost every day when Hotch was gone. I didn’t want to get a call in the middle of the night, calling me to a crime scene that looks eerily similar to all the shit we see at work, only to find that it’s you, Jack, and Scarlet. I couldn’t bear the thought, so I stayed as close as I could. Then when Hotch came back, and I knew I couldn’t sleep on your couch forever, I had to start working towards being efficient as hell in a situation like this. I look at family annihilator crime scenes all the time, and— you’re right, all I see is you and your family. But I don’t let it wear me down or distract me. I let it encourage me to do better, to try to stop those guys before they can hurt anyone else. There are times, though, sugar, like what happened with Maeve, and I can’t help but feel pessimistic. We’re supposed to help people like Maeve. We’re supposed to help families like yours. Yet we seem to fail nearly every time—”

“We don’t fail.”

“We’re always too late,” he argued. “That’s failing.”

“You know… Every time I’ve almost lost Hotch, I thought I was going to die. I’d see him in pain, and I’d struggle to even breathe. Those people we help… At least we’re making a difference in their lives so that they don’t have to know what that feels like.”

Morgan shifted uncomfortably while reaching for a candy. “Hotch struggled when you went missing. I’ll never forget that.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t really understand what it was like. Hotch’s reaction to seeing you hurt was worse than how Reid reacted, and he didn’t even lose you entirely. Reid was capable of holding himself back, of biting his tongue and regressing into silence while Maeve was still missing. Hotch, on the other hand, had been lashing out. He was so angry, so upset, so lost without you. The only thing he could focus on was finding you, and even then, he needed someone to keep him on task the whole time. But he found you, and he was so relieved, and he was himself again. He won for once and we could all tell that he was so grateful. But Reid lost. He didn’t get to feel that relief. It’s going to take him a very long time to recover from that. A long, long time.”

The doorknob suddenly creaked, causing Morgan and I to both jump to our feet. We stood at attention, shoulder to shoulder, watching as the door opened ever so slightly. My attention was lowered when I saw Scarlet come waddling out of Reid’s apartment. I reached down and carefully picked her up, groaning as I did so and felt my back strain. Morgan watched me silently, taking notice of my struggle, something that he was likely going to point out to Hotch later before I could even get home. Great.

As I propped Scarlet on my hip, I looked back up at the door that was closing in our faces. I figured that would be it, he wouldn’t want us around any longer, so I turned on my heels like I was going to make my way out of the building, but Spencer’s door stopped just in time before it could close all the way, and I saw one of his eyes peek around the corner. Reid got a good look at me, but all we could see was his left eye and part of his cheek.

“Can we—” Reid paused to clear his throat after he noticed how quiet and high-pitched he sounded. “Can we do this again next week?”

I looked to the side at Morgan to see his reaction since I didn’t know what to say or do. I mean, of course I wanted to oblige, but his question had caught me off guard for multiple reasons. For starters, I didn’t expect Reid to say anything to us that day; and next, was he really going to be like this for another week? Was he going to be like this for months? Maybe he should have been talking to a therapist and not a baby.

Morgan shrugged, letting me know that it was my decision.

My eyes met Reid’s one eye as Scarlet tried climbing around in my arms. She was always so damn fussy, I swear. “I think we'd both like that,” I answered, referencing me and Scar.

Reid nodded to thank me for understanding.

“Hey, kid,” Morgan stepped into his view to catch his attention. “Are you okay?” Reid closed the door within an instant, shocking Morgan. “Well,” he scoffed, “okay, then…”

I shrugged at him, not knowing what to tell him, then we left, heading home together.

----

After that, we kept up with the ritual for a few weeks. Every Sunday, which was when Maeve would usually call Spencer, I took Scarlet over to his place. It was nice. They hung out, and I relaxed. He never asked me to come in, he never even talked to me. He would open the door for her, let her waddle in, then he would let her come back out whenever they got bored. It worked. She was always excited to go, and she was always wiped when we were leaving.

About a month into it, Spencer kept the door open after Scarlet went in. I finally got to see him. His fair was so long, so flat, not at all puffy and lively like it normally was. He had bags under eyes, just like Hotch. His apartment reeked, I could smell it from where I was standing, and it looked like a complete wreck. I pouted at him. He shyly asked if I could help him with something, to which I nodded and carefully stepped into his apartment.

All of Garcia’s gift baskets were empty and stacked on his kitchen counter. He had eaten through everything. Thankfully, he had eaten something, but as for showering or cleaning his apartment, I couldn’t praise him as much. There were books scattered everywhere, pages ripped out of a few here and there, spilled coffee on the table, clothes littered around. I knew he was depressed, but if I would have known that the rest of his life had fallen apart like that, I would have kicked down the door in order to help him and hold him.

Spencer kept his eyes lowered as he whispered, “Can you help me clean up?”

I nodded eagerly. “I’d love to.”

I sent him to his bedroom to go shower while I started with taking all of the trash out to the dumpster behind the building and cleaned up any spills around the place. Coffee, sodas, orange juice. It was like he knocked it over and didn’t have the energy to fix it. I knew that feeling. Then, when he came back from his shower, he and I started working on picking up all of the papers, organizing them, then collecting the books that he had angrily thrown around. He didn’t say anything. I could tell he was ashamed of his state of living, but it really wasn’t his fault, and I wished more than anything that he understood that. I was just glad he asked for help before it got any worse.

As I finished putting back the last book Spencer had thrown on the floor, I turned to see that he was sitting down on the floor and pulling Scarlet onto his lap. She giggled and poked at his face. Reid didn’t mind, though. He let her play with his curls before making a move to playfully bite at her finger. She laughed and snatched her hand away. He smiled back at her and started bouncing her on his knee to keep her laughing.

I tried biting back a smile as I sat across from them on the floor. I made sure to keep my distance because they were sharing a moment, and this was the first time I had seen Reid smile in so long, I didn’t want to take that away from them. He deserved to be happy. After everything that happened, he deserved to forget about the burdens of the world and just focus on playing with Scarlet. He was always so good with kids, too. That was why I offered that he hang out with Scarlet rather than talk to me or Morgan or someone else. With Henry and Jack, Reid always just seemed to… click with them. I looked at how he was playing with Scarlet, and I knew right then and there that he was going to be the best father one day. I wanted to tell him, but I knew that after Maeve, he wouldn’t want to hear anything about that kind of stuff. That was understandable.

He finally looked up at me and asked, “Do you know why Scarlet’s the only person I’ll talk to?”

I leaned back, stretching my arms behind me to keep myself propped up. “I have my suspicions.” But that was all I said because I wanted to wait for his answer.

It didn’t take a profiler to know that Spencer Reid was hurting, and he thought that he needed to suffer alone. He didn’t want to burden others with his troubles, and he certainly didn’t want to sit around while someone would lie to his face while telling him: “It’ll be alright” or “She’s in a better place now” or “You’ll stop hurting eventually” or some other bullshit like that. I knew that if I lost Hotch, I wouldn’t want to hear any of it. It wasn’t going to be alright, Maeve deserved to still be with him and not in some “better place”, and, honestly, he was never going to stop hurting. If she was really a soulmate—like I assumed she was—then he was never going to get over it. And I wasn’t going to sit there and lie to him. But I knew that he was scared of talking to anyone because he didn’t know who understood him like I did versus someone like Morgan who was willing to lie to him just to make themselves feel better.

“There are so many things that I wanted to say to Maeve, but couldn’t. And there are things now that I wish I could you guys, but I… I really don’t want people’s pity. I just wanted someone to talk to who would listen and not judge me. I want to be able to speak freely, to say the things I wanted to say to Maeve, to admit the things I want to say to the team, and… and I’ve found that talking to a baby is the best way to do that. You know, she’s still so young that she’ll sort of listen while she fusses in my arms, which helps distract me from wanting to cry all the time. And she doesn’t really know how to say anything except for ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ and ‘curls’.”

“Curls!” Scarlet cheered while leaping forward to reach for Reid’s hair.

He laughed and let her pull lightly on the strands of his long hair. “Like that.” When she started pulling too hard, he tickled her stomach to get her to let go. In a fit of laughter, Scarlet felt weak, collapsing in his arms while trying to fight him to make him stop. He gave up after a few more seconds. “I talk a lot about Maeve with Scarlet,” he admitted to me. “I talk about how much I miss her, and she listens. I’ve been telling her stories about our phone calls— her favorite one is the one where Maeve told me she loved me for the first time. It’s my favorite one, too. But, most of all, I’ve just been talking through my feelings with her, and it’s helped tremendously. Is that pathetic?”

“No,” I insisted quickly. “I’m glad that you’re at least getting the chance to talk to someone. It’s never good to bottle things up, Spencer, you know that. Talking to someone—even if it is just a baby—is a good first step towards healing. I’m proud of you.”

Scarlet started throwing a tantrum because she was getting tired and wanted to go home, so I let her fall into my arms while cradling her and cooing her to calm down. I wanted to stay with Reid more than anything… but duty called. The baby wanted home, and I had to give in. So, I stood, and Spencer saw me to the door. Though the hallway was just there, and I could tell that he was eager to be alone again, I turned to inspect him one more time, and I pushed his curls out of his face with my fingers. He let his eyes flutter shut.

“I’m proud of you, Spencer. Truly.”

His lip quivered as he tried to hold a sob back. Before I could see him crack, though, he practically shooed me out of his place and shut the door on my face. I sighed and looked at Scarlet. She was already asleep in my arms, sucking on her thumb while snoring. She was so like her dad.

When I got home, I found Jack passed out on the couch with his homework on the floor. Hotch was sitting with him on another cushion, reading the news on his phone. I leaned over the back of the couch and kissed his cheek. He smiled and turned his face to look at me before pressing a kiss directly against my lips. After we parted, he reached to take Scarlet from me. With my arms free, I stretched. He chuckled at me as I walked around the couch so that I could sit with him, stopping so that I could take a chance to kiss Jack and tuck him under a blanket, then I collapsed against Hotch.

“He let me in today,” I said. Hotch couldn’t believe it. “We cleaned up his place. I don’t think he’s okay, but he will be.” I nuzzled my head against his side.

“I didn’t want it to be him,” Hotch whispered.

I cocked a brow at him. “What are you talking about?”

“Out of everyone on the team, I didn’t want it to be him who had to go through what I went through.” He looked at me. “He’s so young… and he’s alone… He has no one to fall back on. He still doesn’t understand the world, and he doesn’t even understand himself. At least with Haley—” He stopped when Jack squirmed on the couch while yawning and rolling over. When we were sure that he was still asleep, Hotch continued. “At least with Haley, I had you, I had Jack… and I understood myself and the world enough to understand what was happening and why it was happening. But Spencer… He doesn’t have any of that. He’s like my family, Y/N, and I didn’t want it to be him… Anyone but him.”

I didn’t know what to say to any of that.

Hotch flung his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side, then he kissed my forehead. I nuzzled against him. After spending the afternoon with Reid, I realized even more now just how lucky we were. I didn’t have to worry about missing Hotch. I didn’t have to kill myself over the fact that I wouldn’t get to hold him ever again because he was there, and he was holding me, and I was his, and we were watching our children sleep peacefully. Just to make sure it was all real, though, I grabbed Hotch’s free hand and kissed his knuckles.

“I love you,” he whispered against my hair.

“I love you more.”

He chuckled. “I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Don’t make me get all cliché on you, Agent Hotchner.”

As we chuckled again, we relaxed and snuggled against each other, but we didn’t fall asleep. We couldn’t. It was too hard to rest while knowing how easy it was to lose everything. It reminded me of how we were after Haley died. We were paralyzed, but at least we had each other to get through it, and we had Jack to encourage us to get better. Spencer had no one. Spencer didn’t have a loved one to lean on, he didn’t know how to open up to people, and he didn’t know how to deal with his emotions. It was going to destroy him.

------

criminal minds family: @peggy1999 @gorgeousdarkangel @alex--awesome--22 @oceaneblu @brithedemonspawn @absolutemarveltrash @bshelley322 @rousethemouse @sunshinepower17 @weexinling @pettttyyyc @Braty-angel

#Criminal Minds #criminal minds fanfic #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner #Aaron Hotch Hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfic #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner imagine

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mischiefandspirits · 3 years

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Doppelgänger (15/19)

Previously on Doppelgänger ~ Masterlist ~ Next time on Doppelgänger

Danny, Sam, and Tucker were just 14 when they took a look inside the portal Danny’s parents had built. From there, everything changed. They woke up with white hair, green skin, and powers they could learn to control. They were hybrids, halfas.

They were the hero Doppelgänger.

{Doctor's Disorders}

“Ugh, what is that smell?” Danny asked as he and Valerie approached Tucker.

“This,” Tucker held up a spray can. “It’s my new all-over body spray. I made it myself, I call it Foley by Tucker Foley. It combines with your natural odor to create a sweet, manly scent that smells different to everyone who sniffs it.”

Their noses scrunched up as Tucker started spraying himself.

“Tuck, you smell like a sweaty cookie.”

“By choice. The ladies will be swarming all over me.”

“Doubtful,” Valerie snorted. “You smell horrible.”

He pointed at her with the can. “You don’t count. You’re already dating Dan-”

The can slipped from his hand and clattered to the ground, spraying Valerie in the process.

She scowled as the smell of sports bra and sugar cookies washed over her. “You better hope this washes out,” she growled and shoved past him towards the locker room. Thankfully she had first period free so she could shower and drown her clothes in perfume. It didn’t completely help, but it was better. Maybe she should consider keeping a spare set of clothes in her locker. It’d help for the times she tears her clothes in a fight.

“Anyone in here?” Tetslaff called just as she finished fixing her hair.

“I’m here,” she said, tossing her mini curling iron into her locker. She grabbed her bag and walked towards the door to see Tetslaff eyeing her.

“You feeling okay, Gray? Any bug bites?”

“No. I’m fine. Why?”

“All students need to report to the gym. Anyone else here?”

She shook her head. “Bailey was in here, but she left a few minutes ago.

The PE teacher nodded and escorted her to the gym. She was surprised to see the entire student body either sitting or laying on the floor and bleachers, most of whom were glowing. The teachers were hovering over everyone as a man in a doctor’s uniform drifted through, occasionally stopping to talk to the students.

When he saw her, he came over. “And who do we have here?”

“Valerie Gray, what’s going on?”

“What symptoms is she showing?” he asked Tetslaff, ignoring Valerie’s question.

“None as far as I’ve seen,” she grunted and the doctor frowned behind his mask.

“Interesting. She’s the fourth one. Sit her with the others.” He gestured to the corner and Valerie smiled to see Danny, Sam, and Tucker waiting there.

They looked surprised when she joined them and Danny pulled her into a hug. “You okay?”

“Other than still smelling a little awful, I’m perfect. What’s going on?” she asked, pulling back but staying pressed into his side.

Sam gestured to the other students. “Some sort of ghost bug, literally. A whole swarm attacked the school and started phasing into people, resulting in that. You didn’t notice?”

“I’ve been in the showers.” She sent Tucker a look and he ducked behind Sam. “None of you got the bug?”

They shook their heads and Danny pointed off to the side, “Jazz did though.”

Valerie looked over to see Danny’s sister curled up on a mat, her body fuzzy at the edges. “Well, there goes the idea that prolonged exposure to ghost hunting equipment is what’s protecting us. Are your parents doing anything?”

Danny shrugged. “We’ve been in here the whole time. The doctor said he wanted us close since we’re the only ones showing signs of immunity. And they took our phones so I can’t call my parents.”

She smirked and took out her phone. “Looks like they forgot to take mine.”

Danny took it and the three crowded around him to keep him from sight.

“Do your parents have something that could fix this?” Sam asked as Danny dialed.

He thought about it for a second then smiled. “Mom, Dad… Yeah, I’m okay… Really? That’s weird. Why wouldn’t they tell you anything? Nevermind, I’ll explain everything, but can you guys grab the Ghost Catcher before you leave?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is it just me or does Dr. Rand look really mad that his patients are being cured?” Valerie hummed.

Said doctor was currently standing off to the side as the teachers lead students through the ghost catcher, Danny’s parents sucking up the ghost bugs as they were pulled out.

Jazz took in his scowl with a frown. “Maybe it’s a pride thing? He was pretty much useless.”

“Or maybe he was part of a government conspiracy to experiment on us while we possessed ghost abilities,” Sam suggested.

“Sounds like something the Guys in White would do,” Danny muttered sleepily from his spot in Valerie’s lap.

“He’s a doctor. All doctors are evil,” Tucker agreed.

“What’s his problem?” Valerie whispered to her boyfriend.

“He’s afraid of doctors, nurses, hospitals, so on.”

“What’d you say his name was again?” Jazz asked, still staring at the man.

“Dr. Bert Rand.”

“Bertrand? Like Ms. Spectra’s gh-assistant?” Jazz stuttered.

The trio turned to her, then groaned, “Oh my god, we’re idiots.”

Valerie frowned as their voices nudged at her, but pushed it aside as Jazz asked, “What?”

“Spectra was a ghost, same for Bertrand. They must be behind the attack on the school,” Sam explained.

Valerie narrowed her eyes and moved Danny off of her. “I need to go to the bathroom.”

Jazz bit her lip as the girl left, then nudged Danny. “You three should go too. You, uh, don’t know when you might get another chance.”

They frowned, but agreed quickly and left.

Jazz smiled and leaned back. Those three could take care of the ghosts. Now she just needed an excuse for when Valerie got back.

{Pirate Radio}

Jazz sighed as she relaxed on her blanket, only to frown when someone started messing with the radio.

She sat up to glare at Tucker. “Knock it off!”

He held up his hands and backed up.

“Come on, Jazz. This music bites,” Danny said. “It’s our turn to pick something to listen to.”

“I like it. It relaxes me.”

“Well, we do outnumber you four to one,” Valerie pointed out.

Jazz grabbed the radio and held it close to her, scowling at the younger teens that she had joined on the Ops Center for stargazing.

Just then, the ground began to rumble and a pirate ship of all things burst intangibly out of the street.

Jazz jumped to her feet and gestured her brother back. “Danny, you, Sam, and Tucker need to go. Uh, go get our parents. Downstairs. Out of view.”

“R-right, we’ll go get them,” Tucker said and the trio ran off.

“I thought your parents were out,” Valerie said.

“Oops, I forgot.” Jazz turned to the girl and was surprised to see her pulling a ghost pistol out of her bag.

The girl froze. “Oh, uh, Danny gave it to me. For, you know, protection?”

As cute as it was that Danny was so worried about his girlfriend, Jazz would have to talk to him about handing out weapons of all things.

“Got anything else in there?”

Valerie tossed her a thermos just as a group of pirate ghosts landed on the Ops Center. The two girls went to work blasting and sucking up ghosts. Jazz saw a pair heading for the shield and pointed them out to Valerie, but Danny or one of his partners cut them off. She turned back to the main group of pirates and smiled when she saw the other two flying through the air.

She frowned when they seemed to fire on nothing. “What are they doing?”

Valerie looked up, then gave her an incredulous look. “Fighting the ghost captain.”

“I don’t see anything.”

“Weird,” she shot a headless pirate and Jazz sucked him in. “Can you hear him?”

“No.”

“Lucky you. He’s a brat. Maybe eight or nine years… Okay, so he’s eleven. Like that makes a big difference,” she snorted. Then her eyes widened and she barrelled into Jazz.

Something exploded behind them.

“You’ve never babysat, have you? Jazz asked as they picked themselves up. “Kids don’t like to be told they’re younger than they think they are.”

“I’ve only babysat actual babies. They don’t talk back,” Valerie said.

The ghost ship flickered then disappeared.

“What happened?”

“Doppelgänger caught the brat.”

The sound of a guitar-strumming echoed around them and two of Danny’s trio slammed into the ground in front of the girls.

“Ember’s back,” they said, rubbing their heads. “You guys might want to either get inside or put on Specter Deflectors before you get hypnotized.”

“M. Bersback? The guy who gave us that awful Vapor Drone? He’s a ghost?” Valerie asked.

They stared at her blankly, then one threw their hands in the air. “Oh come on! That's not a clue. That's a billboard! We really got to start paying more attention to these things!”

{Reign Storm, Part 1}

“Did you get the book report done?” Valerie asked as she passed Danny a water bottle.

“Mm-hm.” He took the bottle and tried to drink it.

“Lid Danny,” she chuckled.

He scowled and took the lid off. “I think you beat the ghost out of me.”

“Then I did my job,” she chuckled. “Seriously though, you’re doing really good.”

“Can I have my black belt then?”

“Not quite. Now come on, we’ve still got fifteen minutes before we need to clean up.”

He groaned, but pushed himself to his feet and followed her over to the wrestling mat. Jazz had somehow talked Tobias, the wrestling coach, into letting them use it for their sparring in the morning after Tuesday’s practice in return for cleaning up after. It was a lot better than sparring at home, even if it did mean getting up way too early.

Of course, being at school meant there were sometimes distractions.

“Think fast, Fentoni!”

Danny turned just as Valerie caught the football that was headed for him.

“Unless you’re here to spar, then get lost, Dash,” she huffed, tossing the ball to Kwan.

“Spar with Fenton?” Dash laughed and Kwan joined in.

“You’d snap him in half before he could even throw his first punch!”

“I thought I said to get lost,” Valerie growled stepping between them and Danny.

Dash leered at him. “You gonna let a girl fight your battles.”

Danny raised an eyebrow as Valerie stiffened. “Now you f-ed up.”

“And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean, Baxter?” she asked, cracking her knuckles.

Kwan grabbed Dash’s shoulder and whispered something that made Dash pale.

“J-just that Fenton’s too weak to fight his own battles, he has to rely on his girlfriend to do it for him. I did-din’t mean, you know, that a girl couldn’t kick butt.”

“Nice save,” Danny said and Dash gave him a death glare.

“Leave,” Valerie said.

They did.

“I’m definitely going to pay for that later,” Danny chuckled as he got into position on the mat.

“If you’re not going to fight back then stop antagonizing him,” she said.

“I’ve considered fighting back.”

“Then why don’t you.”

Danny raised an eyebrow. “You haven’t met Sidney Poindexter, then.”

“Who?”

“He’s the ghost who haunts my locker. He gets huffy with me if I try to get back at Dash. I was putting my annoyingness to full use on Dash when we first met and Sidney is paranoid I’ll do it again. According to him, I’m just as much of a bully as Dash if I do and he hates bullies.”

“Need me to take care of him?”

“Nah, we’ve got a truce. He’s not too bad. I just can’t pull anything on Dash without risking a lecture from him. And he’s still learning modern slang so a lecture from him is even worse than one of Lancer’s hip and funky fresh talks.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you guys know why Nathan’s been giving me evil eyes?” Danny asked as the trio walked home.

“He’s got a crush on Valerie. He’s ticked you and her are dating,” Tucker explained.

“He came up to me the other day and tried to tell me I needed to, Get your cheating boyfriend away from my Valerie! It took me fifteen minutes to get him to back off and I think he still believes you’re two-timing Valerie and I,” Sam said.

“We’re dating? Sam, why didn't you tell me? I'd have put my book down.”

Sam shoved him towards his stoop. “I want to break up. It’s not me, it’s you.”

“Okay, but I get Tucker in the divorce.”

Tucker shook his head and linked arms with Sam. “Sorry, Danny, but you knew I was a gold digger going into this.”

Sam shoved him away as well. “You can have him.”

“Changed my mind, he’s yours now.”

“You’re both awful,” Tucker fake whined and marched off.

“See you tomorrow,” the two yelled at his retreating back.

Danny turned to Sam. “Are you going to head out for patrol or do you want a snack first?”

“Depends, what’s the likelihood your food’s contaminated?”

“My mom and dad are partway through a new invention.”

“Pass.”

“You guys are ridiculous,” he called as she went to the nearest alleyway.

“Ectoplasm’s not a veggie,” she called back.

“Okay, fair,” he snorted and opened the door. “I’m home. Anything happen while -”

Danny cut off as he saw his family in the living room surrounding a certain fruit loop.

“Ah, hello, Daniel!”

“You!” he shouted, tossing his bag aside and marching up to the group. “What are you doing here?”

Some of his anger lifted as he saw his mom accidentally poor tea right onto Vlad’s lap. “Totally valid question.”

“Still steaming?” Vlad asked in his creepy stalker voice.

“You have no idea,” she growled.

Vlad turned his attention to Danny. “I was just, you know, passing through. And then I saw that marvelous battlesuit and thought, since I can't just destroy Jack and take it, I suppose I'll steal its secrets right out from under his nose!”

Danny’s fists clenched as Vlad met his dad’s eyes with a smile and the two started laughing.

“Oh I swear, I am such a josher,” he held his cup up to Danny’s mom. “More tea please.”

She poured it on his head.

“Not there! Ooh!”

Danny’s mom stomped off and his dad followed.

“I don't know what you're up to, Plasmius,” Danny started in a whisper, then blinked. “Actually, I do. You just told me.”

“That’s right! And say a word and I'll share your secret with your little friend.”

Danny stared at him blankly. “What friend?”

“Miss Gray.”

“How do you even -”

Danny was cut off when an alarm sounded through the house. His dad ran back into the room and hit a hidden button to bring up a radar system.

“Galloping goblets, it's the Ecto-Exodus Alarm!”

“The Ecto-whaty-what?” Jazz and Danny asked.

“The Ecto-Exodus Alarm! An alarm that only goes off when we're about to face a massive ghost invasion!”

Danny faked reaching into his pocket so he could grab the Fenton Phones out of his Space Fold. “I need to make a call!”

He felt Vlad’s eyes on his back as he ran upstairs, but ignored them.

“Sam, Tucker, please tell me one of you can hear me?” he said into the phones and through their link as he shut his door.

“What’s wrong?” Sam said.

“Ghost invasion. Big one. Coming right at us,” Danny said and transformed. “We need to get back here right now.”

Danny’s ghost sense went off.

“Too late.”

Danny flew out of the house as ghosts came pouring out of the portal and onto the street. His eyes landed on Johnny and Kitty and he flew towards them.

“Hey Thirteen, what’s going on?” he asked as he came level with the bike.

“You mean you haven’t heard?” Kitty said, turning to him. “Pariah Dark’s back.”

“Who?”

“If you don’t know, we’re not going to tell you,” Johnny snorted.

“Come on. We’ve been letting you mostly run wild as long as you don’t hurt anyone or destroy anything. Can’t you just tell us?”

Johnny growled and stopped the bike. “Look, we don’t know too much. He’s way, way before our time. All we know is that he’s called the King of All Ghosts and someone woke him up. Now he’s trashing the zone and looking for some ring that will give him ultimate power or something when paired with his crown. He’s powerful so everyone’s getting while the gettin’s good. Speaking of which.”

Johnny took off, but Danny didn’t bother to chase him. Instead, he turned to Sam as she joined him.

“This is bad. No kidding.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tucker flinched as his ghost sense went off for the fifteenth time. Where were all these ghosts coming from? He hoped he got into range of the mind link soon. Sam at least should be transformed so he should be getting close. Why did he have to choose today of all days to visit the gaming shop in Elmerton?

Someone blasted him and he groaned. He’d wanted to regroup with his partners before picking any fights. He turned to his opponent and groaned again. “What are you doing in town, fruit loop?”

“Haven’t we already been through this, Daniel?” Vlad asked flying closer and Tucker rolled his eyes.

So Danny or Sam have talked to him then. He hoped they were okay. “Refresh our memory.” Goosebumps swept over him and he gestured towards the ghost. “Are you the reason all these ghosts are around?”

“I’m flattered you think I could organize all this.”

“You’re right. We forgot you put everything into intelligence and strength. No way you could convince all these ghosts to listen with your charisma being a dump stat,” Tucker said, nodding. “Our bad.”

Vlad looked confused for a moment, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not here to play games, Daniel.”

“Then you’ve got the wrong half-ghost.” If he didn’t want jokes, he should have gone with Sam.

Vlad scowled at him, then he was being grabbed from behind. He looked up to see another Vlad holding him. The older halfa pinned one of his arms behind his back and held the other out to the first Vlad.

“Let go of us, creep!”

“Calm down, Daniel. I’m not going to hurt you,” Vlad one said, flying closer and grabbing his wrist. “I simply need you to hold onto something for me.”

“And why would we ever help you?”

Vlad one disconnected his glove from the hazmat and pulled it off, revealing green skin and black nails.

Wow, Sam would like those.

“Because this is a powerful relic,” Vlad two explained as Vlad one slipped a green and black ring onto Tucker’s middle finger. “One which I’m sure you’d want to keep safe and out of the hands of dangerous ghosts.”

“Like you?”

Vlad one smirked and replaced his glove.

“If it’s so powerful, why would you give it up?” Tucker asked as the Vlads let him go and merged together.

“That is for you to discover on your own. Ta!” He teleported away.

“We need to get a restraining order or something,” Tucker muttered, rubbing his shoulder. He glanced down at his hand uncertainly. Vlad could certainly have been lying, but if he wasn’t, Tucker couldn’t just toss the ring and risk it ending up in the wrong hands.

With a sigh, he continued on his way. The trio could figure this out together. Thankfully he only had to fly for a few minutes before his mind connected to Sam and Danny.

#danny phantom #valerie gray #jazz fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #Doppelgänger au

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perriewinklenerdie · 4 years

Text

Hand in my hand (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC

A/N: Hello, hello, hello! We back, how we feeling, fam? Everyone alive? When I say I got thrown into the writing pit after yesterday’s chapter, I mean I was *slammed* against the wall, not the first and certainly not the last time either. So, it is a rewrite of two scenes in particular, with my own twist and added touches cause I couldn’t help myself :D

Special thanks to my friend @strawberrwess for coming up with a line in here and letting me use it <3

AO3 link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24471001

Tag list: @paleweasels, @kittykatchoices, @valiantlychaoticbarbarian, @radlovedreamer , @usuallyamazinglyaverage, @strawberrwess @palestazure, @cordoniaqueensworld, @universallypizzataco, @princess-geek, @faithhasnowords, @mightyfangirlofthefandoms, @drakewalkerfantasy, @timmagicktoad, @laceandlula, @greywitchyshots, @llamasgrl, @gingerjane15, @bucket-harrington , @marywrites-things , @ethanplaysfavorites , @mfackenthal , @betelgeusebee , @simsvetements, @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction, @buzz-bee-buzz, @owleyes374, @cora-nova, @aworldoffandoms, @l822, @cream-ray, @ughhhxjazzy, @silverlitskies, @justendlesssummerfeels, @togetherwearerapture, @desmaranj, @edgiestwinter, @friedherringclodthing, @daisy-ashton, @waytooattuned, @choicesgremlin , @lapisreviewsstuff, @the-soot-sprite, @writerapprentice, @chasingrobbie, @choicesobsessedd, @x-kyne-x, @thisperfectmemory, @drakewalker04, @rookie-ramsey, @jlynn12273, @thepinknymph @dr-brianna-casey-valentine, @a-i-n-a-a-s-h @justanotherrookie

Enjoy! <3

-------------

The administrative office is strangely empty and quiet when they enter, the artificial lighting making the white of the walls and furniture even brighter. After making sure that they were alone, twice, for the good measure, Claire strode towards the desk, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of the screen. It was unlocked, there for the taking

“Is it bad that I was expecting that to be the case? Amateurs.” she muttered under her breath, causing Ethan to let out a laugh that he had to stifle. Claire sat down on the chair, clicking a few buttons on the keyboard, her eyes scanning the information before her. Ethan walked over to her side, putting his hand on her shoulder to get her attention.

“Let me, I’m more familiar with their system.” He spoke gently, their eyes locking for a brief moment when she stood up to make space for him, their faces in close proximity long enough for his thoughts to get swarmed with all kinds of images that threatened to overwhelm him and make him throw all this inhibitions to the wind and just reach for her.

Claire moved to the door, leaning against the frame, watching the hallway for anyone that might sink their mission. Meanwhile, Ethan took the seat and got to work. He combed through the files, looking for the name of the senator, but it proved to be more work than he anticipated, for his eyes kept straying to Claire. She was keeping guard, but more often than not, he felt her gaze on him, and found it incredibly distracting.

“Is there something on your mind, Claire?” he smirked, directing his attention back to the task at hand.

“I like looking at fine things, Ethan. That’s all.” She shrugged her shoulders, looking back towards the corridor. “So how often do you come here?”

“Very occasionally. I’m consulting on a research project with an immunologist which requires me to come by a few times a year, but I largely try to avoid the place.” Ethan answered offhandedly, his tone neutral for the most part, sparking up only when he mentioned his research.

“Because of Tobias?” after receiving no answer from him, she carried on. “Ethan, Tobias seems to enjoy messing with you.”

“Oh, he does. He messes with everyone, I’m no exception here.” He nodded after a moment of consideration, without delving into the memories too much.

“Even when you were friends?”

“Of course. After all, we were both troublemakers. But while I was direct with challenging my authority figures, he always was a prankster.” A ghost of a smile appeared on his face as he recalled his first med school year.

“Challenging your authority figures, huh?” Claire grinned widely, looking back outside to make sure they were safe before walking towards him. “Do you mind me challenging you, Dr. Ramsey?”

“No, as long as I get to challenge you too, Dr. Herondale, I don’t.” he looked up at her, electricity humming softly in the air around them. After a long, intense moment, he continued. “We had one particularly uptight professor with some… very outdated theories. Tobias swapped out his projector slides with rude drawings.”

“You draw?” she asked, surprised, laughing when he nodded.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Is there anything you can’t do? Actually, don’t answer that, I don’t think I want to know. Don’t burst the bubble for me.” Claire held her hand up, looking over her shoulder to check on their situation. “What kind of ‘rude drawings’ did you do?”

“What makes you think it was me?”

“Was it not you?” her eyebrow shot up in a question. He held his breath, fighting to keep a straight face, before ultimately failing and laughing warmly. “Thought so. So, what was it?”

“Some women and men in very revealing poses.” He admitted, his cheeks reddening slightly. Claire giggled, her eyes widening a bit. Nodding her head, she brushed her hand against his shoulder.

“If you ever need a model, hit me up.”

“I’m going to pretend I understood the last part of that sentence and accept your offer. Anytime, Rookie.” He mused softly, his hand moving to brush his fingers against hers, twining them for a short moment. Wordlessly, they spent the next few seconds, reveling in the quiet comfort of each other’s closeness. Eventually, they fell back into the everyday world, him going back to searching for the senator’s name on the long list of patients while she retreated to her previous spot by the door.

“Anyway, the professor did the whole two-hour lecture without one looking back to notice why we were laughing. Me? I always preferred calling him an idiot to his face.”

“Sounds like you.” she teased him, moving her weight from one foot to the other. “It also sounds like you two were having a lot of fun together.”

All he did was hum quietly, then his attention was focused solely on the task at hand. His smile fell as he sat back in the chair, confirming what they both were afraid of. “There is no Farrugia anywhere in the hospital. Are we sure June’s tip was reliable?”

“I think so… Could he be under a pseudonym? Would a hospital allow that?” Claire’s confusion was clear on her face as she walked over to him, leaning against the desk, folding her arms over her chest.

Ethan nodded, deep in thoughts. “It’s possible. But that means we need to figure out what a senator neither of us has ever met would use as an alias.”

“But it may not have been the senator who came up with the alias at all…” she trailed off, the gears in her head turning. Letting out a deep breath, she spoke up. “Okay, what do we know about Tobias? He would have been the one to admit the senator, and it seems unlikely he’d pick a name at complete random.”

“No, almost nobody would.” He agreed, leaning forward, resting his head on his hands.

“Can you think of any name that might have popped into his head? A relative, or friend, or-“

“Dwight Theodore Lewis III.” He stated firmly, a spark in his eyes. Claire shifted in her place, turning to face him more directly.

“Who?”

A smirk lit up his face when he recalled that piece of information. “It was the name of Tobias’s fake I.D. He kept it framed on his desk as a memorial to ‘all the good times’ they shared. He used it any time he needed to avoid getting in trouble.”

“Great.” She drummed her fingers against the surface of the desk in excitement. “So is there a Dwight Theodore Somebody the Somethingth in the records?”

A few clicks later, a file popped up on the screen and Ethan turned fully towards her with a wide and satisfied grin. “Room 734. That’s in the V.I.P. wing.”

“Kenmore had a literal V.I.P. wing?”

“There’s more than one reason I despise this place.” He muttered under his breath, sharing a knowing gaze with her. He opened his mouth to say something else when the voice of a woman reached their ears, indicating she was approaching them. They both froze, uncertain what to do. Not enough time to run and nowhere to hide, about to be caught.

With no warning, Ethan reached from his seat for her, his hand grabbing the front of her scrubs, and pulled her onto him. She stumbled, her knees hitting the chair, hands grabbing onto his shoulders to keep her balance. He looked up at her, eyes locking for a brief moment, and she couldn’t find a sliver of hesitation if she tried. His hands pressed firmly against her back, pushing her onto him even more, and with one, small movement from him, his lips touched hers urgently, like he couldn’t wait a second more, like he’d combust if he had to stay away from her.

The intensity took her breath away. Her heart stopped beating, only to pick up its pace the moment it came back to life, her head spinning. She twined her fingers into his hair, pulling on the strands to pull him closer, even though it was humanly impossible to do so. Their faces were as close as they could possibly be.

“Oh! Uh… Sorry!” the same female voice rang behind them, but neither noticed nor cared. Retreating footsteps were barely acknowledged, for they were far too gone. The lady closed the door to provide them privacy, making Ethan grateful, mostly because it allowed him fully sit her in his lap. He grabbed her by the hips and hauled her into the sitting position, her knees locking him down in the chair.

A soft sigh slipped past her lips when Ethan directed his kisses down her neck, moving aside his own lab coat, a bit too big and hanging loose on her body, then the material of her scrubs, to reveal the skin on her collarbone, teasing it lightly with his lips. Claire shifted on top of her, drawing a strangled groan from him.

Ethan stood up and carried her onto the desk, stepping in between her legs, kissing her like there was no tomorrow. His hands were running up and down her back, holding her in place, closely to him, while her fingers combed through his hair gently. Claire’s heels grazed against the back of his thighs briefly, preventing him from stepping away at the same time.

When the kiss finally broke, they were both out of breath and out of mind. He leaned away from her, with no enthusiasm, wanting nothing more than to dive back into her and never stop kissing her. Knowing that they both had duties to fulfil, he reluctantly moved back, though his hold on her never lessened.

“We should… We need to…” he panted as he spoke, his eyes darkened with desire. Claire nodded, grinning widely at how certain he was in all his movements.

“Room 734. Yeah.”

---------------

Her laughter ringed in the air as her and Baz ran out of the hospital through the main entrance, not daring to look back and see if Tobias was still following them. Just then, ever the savior, Ethan pulls up in front of them, slamming the brakes. He called out through the open window.

“Need a ride?” unsurprisingly, he was incredibly smug about it. Baz laughed, throwing himself towards the back seat.

“This is just like a movie!”

“My hero.” Claire giggled, opening and closing the door to the passenger’s seat hastily. She turned her head towards the building, just in time to see Tobias bursting out of the entrance. “Ethan, hit it!”

His foot slammed on the accelerator, the car speeding away, leaving Tobias far behind them. Looking back at his form that was getting smaller and smaller, she noticed his amused smirk. “Looks like this round goes to Edenbrook.”

She then turned back around, letting out a relieved laugh as her forehead fell against Ethan’s shoulder. He looked at her briefly, a soft smile lighting up his face. Claire leaned back into her seat a moment later, her breathing evening out.

“So, did our plan work?” he asked, relaxing when the tension left him.

“Like a charm. We should be expecting the senator to join us in the hospital soon.” She grinned, her heartbeat picking up when Ethan looked at her again, his eyes softening.

The silence was comfortable, a striking contrast to the adrenaline-driven events that took place just minutes ago. Ethan kept stealing glances at Claire, Claire kept on brushing her fingers against his, seemingly by accident.

“You two can hold hands, you know?” Baz’s voice rang from the backseat, causing them to freeze in their movements.

“We don’t-“

“Why would you-“

“Oh, come on. You couldn’t be more obvious if you tried. Both of you are flushed, your lips are bruised, not that I have any idea or want to know when you two found the time to make out on a mission. So, please.” He laid it all out for them, then leaned forward, grabbing their hands and joining them firmly. “Commit to it, dammit.”

Ethan fought the overwhelming smile, tried to bite it down, but ultimately failed and just accepted it, his fingers tangling with hers. Claire nodded, catching Baz’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He winked at her knowingly, then sat back in his seat with a satisfied smile.

#ethan ramsey #open heart #ethan x mc #mc x ethan #open heart fanfiction #choices fanfiction #choices #fic #fanfiction #ethan ramsey x mc #dr. ethan ramsey #mc x ethan ramsey

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