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dwtisgay · 2 years

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I've mentioned this before, but what makes skephalo really fascinating is that the entire relationship is documented from the start till now, hours and hours of content and clips where they'd sit together almost daily on stream and talk and hang out because of this you can chart the progression scarily well if you are insane enough to watch all that content. Of course some things are behind the scenes and they are both very good at being theatrical and faking things, badboyhalo especially thus the skephalo issue becomes as this, what is real and what is fake in all that content?

my method with mapping them out was just brute force, collecting information over time and comparing it with other moments to see where the patterns of behavior repeat and where they break, this is a really fucking mentally insane task that I don't wish on anyone but it does explain why skephalo discussions are so lacking in the general sphere because they either draw in the same crowd as karlnap who cant pick up the subtleties (this why a lot of the popular skephalo clips are cringe) or more commonly people at first glance dismiss skephalo as blatantly fake, I know I did at first when I first joined the fandom, but over time I'd get exposed to little bits of inconsistency in their theatrics that made me go hold on? especially with badboyhalo

there are subtle progressions and phases to their relationship that I will divide using years and I will also map out notable moments that I remember

The start

they've first met at the end of 2018 in the infamous "I applied for staff on 50 minecraft servers" skeppy video, bbh was the only person who responded to skeppy because he knew skeppy was a popular youtuber and hoped skeppy making content on munchymc would popularize the server tl;dr of the video is that skeppy keeps "pranking" bbh till bbh has a meltdown and gets pissed, this video is not faked as far as I could tell, bbh did have an inkling, I think, that skeppy might do something, but due to the fact this was their first time interacting I do think his reactions are genuine in it this video blows up and really kicks skeppys brand as a "minecraft prankster" into high gear, skeppy then riding the high of that video tries to milk bad for more content by convincing his mods and admins to force them into calls together and shit like that a couple more videos of this get made and in the last video of this nature skeppy asks people to go follow bbh because he felt like giving back to bbh (and I assume also because he felt bad for harassing this dude) skeppy manages to get bbh to 100k subscribes, bbh at this point has been on youtube for almost 7 years and he hasn't cracked past 10k at the time, bbh is VERY thankful to skeppy for this to the point of crying - skeppy feels morally good about this now its never explicitly said by badboyhalo but the way he phrased things to me in the early years whenever he'd talk about his relationship with skeppy is that he felt so thankful that he would've let skeppy get away with a lot and boy did skeppy take that sentiment and run with it

2019

so with that running start I am sure they've realized they're a great pair, talked about how they wanted to handle videos and what their boundaries were going forward, right? wrong 2019 skephalo is very rough play, skeppy is exactly what you'd expect from someone who would do prank videos in that time period: 0 empathy 0 social awareness skeppy had two ways of creating content at the time, prerecorded videos and more commonly going live with a prank/plan in mind and winging it and then editing down the stream later a decent amount of the prerecorded videos are faked I am very sure of, like the pizza video, due to later inconsistencies that they'd drop but there are multiple videos and theories online about that so I wont discuss them I am more interested in the ones that are not faked and they more often than not happen to be the livestreamed ones! in those not faked ones I am very certain they've never had conversations about boundaries because guess what? they've had them live instead! in the middle of it happening! a notable prank of skeppys at the time is that he'd go live without telling bbh, join a call with him and keep streaming for hours with bad unaware that what he is saying is broadcasted to hundreds/thousands of viewers oh he'd tell bad eventually, when the time is right and the moment is funny and bad would get pissed and it would net the views and rinse repeat, there are plenty recorded instances of streams of this nature that I could find and in each and everyone bad immediately after finding out tries to calmly tell skeppy not to do that and skeppy would promise till next time, this prank definitely was one of the shorter lifespan pranks it stopped happening pretty fast but it showed me a couple of things -they never talked about the types of pranks -skeppy cant actually understand when bbh is being serious and when he isn't when they are live and it took upwards of 3+ times of bbh telling him to stop I think bbh had to tell him to stop in private and that's when skeppy got the hint I am not saying badboyhalo was completely a doormat victim in all of this, bbh is very smart he recognized that him and skeppy are growing in popularity, he knew what people wanted to see from him and he leveraged this, I think his reactions were 60/40 fake to real a lot of the time bbh didn't trust skeppy but he could trust in not being able to trust him, and he was willing to let skeppy do things like that because he figured it was worth it in the long run after skeppy did the live streaming without telling him, bbh started becoming wary of it knowing that it is a possibility with skeppy, and he'd check skeppy's channel to make sure skeppy isnt live, to circumnavigate this skeppy would stream instead on his backup channel starting a really fucking insane cat and mouse game but hey thats their entire relationship also talking about shipping and possible feelings in this time period I definitely think there isn't much to be seen, a lot of popular clips are from this period but they are just skeppy's repressed gay pandering coming into play while bad is just trying to avoid it/stay neutral skeppy was the first to tell bad he loves him to get him to soften up after a prank and bad immediately throws it in his face very coldly

amusingly it was also in this time period, after skeppy singlehandedly spawned a ship by himself, seems he got too fruity for his birches and said he was "uncomfortable" with being shipped with bad, while he was telling bad that he wanted to kiss him, that he loved him etc etc this isnt to say there was nothing there, I definitely think skeppy got a crush on bbh first

here is the clip that killed skephalo in 2019

things of note: he never joked about wanting to kiss a6d or hug him or told him he loved him not even once (also the excuse is very dreamcore, bisexual denial) skeppy has talked a LOT about kissing bad, but one of the bigger moments that is still big till this day is this clip

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now funnily enough the stream where this clip is from actually illustrates perfectly why I think badboyhalo faked a lot of his reactions, the stream starts out with skeppy griefing bad for around half an hour, bbh at the time was known as "the angriest man on youtube" and he'd spend a lot of the time just having breakdowns and yelling at stream because he knew that's what people wanted from him but it definitely took its toll on him in that stream alone he goes from riled up and shouting and breaking down to quiet and hanging out with skeppy and talking with him and messing around like pals, he is exhausted after the shouting but he seems generally okay to be around skeppy for extended periods of time because he enjoys his company another stream that is always brought up to the counter that bbh wasn't faking it point at the time is his birthday stream, where the memes and bullying got so intense he starts crying

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again without context it looks fake, but things of note -bbh is a very easy crier -this was a huger wave than usual of memers -bbh immediately moves on after and goes into his "shouty persona" my assessment is that he probably cried for real because it was overwhelming or tiring to him/he was having a bad day but he knew there wasn't much he could do about it a common thing bbh does is he tells people to "stop" and it just makes things worse, he is aware of this and most of the time utilizes it to his advantage (telling meme donos to stop, increases the donos) but I do think when things get rough he doesn't actually have a failsafe on how to handle things when they get overwhelming so he just defaults to asking people to stop which backfires the 2019 era in a nutshell is VERY blurry boundaries, exhausting to watch and has some of the most fascinating interactions I've ever had the displeasure to witness between 2 humans who still say they like each other , this period of time held a lot of mixed emotions from both parties they definitely were fond of each, skeppy would let bbh track his location irl fairly early on in their friendship, and then 3 months from then you'd have bad telling skeppy that he wouldn't even consider them friends

2020

okay moving on to greener pastures, 2020 has skeppy maturing and them getting closer, MUCH closer than they were before, if you clicked on any of the previous videos or looked them up in 2019, I'd like you to compare it with this shit

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this was in the middle of 2020, in the dream smp so what happened in the time period between? absolutely no clue in much the same way I think if you are stuck with someone you hate long enough you can start to like them, or if you stare a stranger in the eyes for 10 minutes you fall in love - I think they just spent SO much time around each other mapping out how the other thinks and talks that they've just become comforted by each others presence

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skeppy in this period still pulls pranks on bad, but they take on a "pig tail" pulling quality, bbh definitely enjoys this softer side of skeppy and encourages it a lot and they seem to have a better understanding of each others boundaries, live streams become more about hanging out than fucking with each other. The transition is very subtle and very gradual that I'd be hard pressed to point out a moment as a "Moment" sure there are things like skeppys breakdown and bad comforting him you could point to, but I wouldn't call them quintessential moments but a byproduct of their growing closeness in the odd situation they've found themselves in

I glossed over the meetup stuff in 2019, because a lot of it was non serious, the moment where bad offers skeppy to move into his house was later addressed by skeppy in a stream in which I have since frustratingly lost, he says that he was sure bbh was joking and wasn't actually serious about renting him a space or so he assumes anyways there was one serious attempt in early 2019 where skeppy wants him bbh and a6d to meetup at vidcon but bbh throws every excuse in the kitchen sink at him, while skeppy gets more and more upset as the conversation goes on, the video is privated sadly and I couldnt find clips of it but it is the first mention we have of bbh saying he dislikes planes, skeppy offers to drive him, and then bad says he gets nauseous being driven, skeppy tells him he can drive and bad says "ah shucks I am busy" basically bad tries to outright avoid saying he doesn't want to go while making up shitty lies in the process, skeppy is hurt by this and throws a tantrum the reason I bring up the meetup now in 2020 is because in early 2019 you could tell one of the biggest factors bbh didnt want to meetup with skeppy is that he simply didnt trust him but as they got closer and the lines get blurrier, the topic is revisited multiple times and each time with the same excuses or under "joking" pretenses you can tell there is a larger issue here than just bbh not trusting skeppy if you watch this clip even though it seems fake and like they are acting a lot of these issues and fears are genuine and byproducts of 2019 trust issues, skeppy still thinks bad doesn't trust him, and it is causing a rift between them I wish I could show you the 2019 clip because it is a lot less bullshit and uwu theatrics and really shows "oh wow this is an issue between them" but meetup things aside 2020 marks them as obscenly fond of each other, and can almost finish each other's sentences by the end of it, they have some issues with communication still and they default to theatrics instead of talking about it but overall its not 2019 and thats great, I'd say this is where skeppy's crush properly flourishes and his obsession with bbh starts to really kick into gear, and bbh loves and enjoys this

2021

can't start a year without a drunk stream where you ask 20k viewers if they know if your crush is straight or not what I am referencing above is the since deleted best decision any content creator could do once they get to a legal drinking age, which is stream it live! skeppy turns 21, does a drunk stream and in front of god and his people asks chat if they know if bad is gay, keeps repeating bad's name while giggling, acts like a fool around him and is generally just embarrassing with such a great start to the year you can tell they got worse in their totally heterosexual behavior, which frankly I didn't think was possible

now going back, that's a good question to ask, is bad gay? a better question would be, is skeppy? skeppy has demonstrated over the years so far an issue with hypermasculinity that he only starts to shed once he meets bad, he only does soft gay shit solely with bad and not a6d who has his own masculinity issues going on that no one cares about skeppy fucks, as I am sure will come as a surprise to some of you, he is a very successful fuckboy from the offhand mentions he tends to drop here and there, it seems to be just a girl thing but due to the influence bbh has had on him I would not be surprised if he started to consider more and that influence is very considerable, bad is soft and very in tune with his emotions, skeppy starts matching this and he also becomes really soft, and starts acting in frankly bisexual fuckboy disaster ways I wasn't kidding earlier when I said this year was much gayer than 2020, their voices got even softer, skeppy ditched the pretenses and stopped griefing and pranking bad outright, and all the content they made together that pretended to be that was just filled with so much love and adoration and respect I honestly feel disgusted watching it at times I think this is the year where bad starts really liking him back hard, and that's why the tone shifted the only way I can describe how bad talked, interacted and or did anything skeppy related was infatuation and it wasn't all theatrics, he'd manage to make any and every topic about skeppy simply because that's where his brain was constantly at this year

speaking of bad's infatuation this is the year when the egg arc was also introduced and its plotline is nowhere near subtle and it puts every other romance coded ship on the server to shame bad gets infected by the egg, skeppy sacrifices himself so bad can continue to live free of its influence, bad doesn't want to live without skeppy and thinks kissing him will free him but when that doesn't work he throws himself back again at the egg bargaining with it to give skeppy back

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now if you watched this without knowing about the whole skeppy jokes about kissing thing you'll note that this is probably just pandering and you wont be fully wrong, but I just explained how skeppy went through a phase where he regretted doing the kissing jokes and how bad tended to stone wall him when he did in 2019, now compare to this, this is what makes skephalo intriguing this is also the year where the skephalo renaissance happens, mostly by bad liking unhinged kissing fanart and showcasing art of him and skeppy making out with tongue on stream - but skeppy isn't also blameless, he draws himself choking on bad's dick in gartic, amps up the flirting, and bares his heart to him multiple times etc the big elephant in the room by this point is the meetup, why isn't it happening when they are so fond of each other? how does skeppy feel about it when before he saw it as a sign that bad didnt trust him and still held him at arms length and that upset him, did they simply move on from it? is it still in the background?

how can they be this close with that between them?

you know how I said before I cant tell you a specific moment where their emotions and tones shift? well I can now, the 2021 gayness uptick happened specifically around march-may, so everything I wrote above for this year barring skeppy asking chat if bad is gay, started full force around those months the difference is so marked and stark that it just jumps at you full force I cant tell you in certain terms why, but I can put on my little tin hat and speculate it had something to do with them finally talking about said elephant! since to me that was the only thing stopping them from getting closer

around march bbh and skeppy made a deal that they would meet before the summer is over and the months ticked by with no indication of them meeting but the odd thing was, they only seemed to grow flirtier and more into each other - which you would think would negate my theory but hold on! by july (7/15/2021) bbh was actually, and every seriously considering going to vidcon and he seemed he would go through with it too and this took a LOT out of bad, he spent 4 or so hours explaining to puffy and skeppy why he was so afraid of vidcon reusing a lot of the same old things he'd say in the past, and adding in more things like how he wants to meet skeppy before they go to vidcon and if they dont they will just ignore each other at vidcon, but instead of skeppy taking it personally and getting upset with him like he usually did they were literally on the same page for once, skeppy even said that he just wants to do whatever bad was comfortable with and that there is no pressure so, my analysis on why they got so close is that, bbh finally explained to skeppy his fears and reasons and skeppy finally understands that its not an issue with him, they've probably affirmed how much they care for each other and assuaged their anxieties and skeppy is willing to wait because it seems that bad DOES want to meet up eventually

in a youtube video I have since misplaced and I am too tired to search for bad goes "me and skeppy are in agreement that our first meetup shouldn't be in vidcon and we will just ignore each other" skeppy previously would've yelled at how incredulous that is and would've been hurt and taken it personally

but now he finally understands and agrees with bad because he wants this to be perfect for him you can even see in the first clip I sent in the 2020 portion that bad mentions he wants it to be 100% at around 13:30 minutes and bad says and I quote "he(skeppy) wont accept that" it seems like skeppy finally did the meetup ended up cancelled but there has been no issues between them and they kept going strong with the gay if you want to consume any skephalo content I recommend this year as their peak, honorable mentions being "blow on my dice" ppsat, pride month jackbox, chess stream where andrea and alex ask if they are dating, ant calling them platonic soulmates while drunk and gushing

2022

so where are they now? well...skeppy is not having a good year, his merch company got bought out, he got triple cancelled on twitter and youtube and he has been feeling demotivated about his videos he literally dropped off the face of the earth and the only person in contact with him is bad and the only reason we know this is because bad is still rotten enough to go "oh skeppy told me this" or "skeppy did that!" skeppy still puts out videos with bad but they lack the charm they had in 2021 and he seems to just be doing them for the sake of doing them the mcc bodes well for skeppy getting back into content but I genuinely think he has been traumatized from ever streaming because he is actually self aware enough now and fears he will say something stupid because he does tend to blurt out and do stupid shit if you haven't watched the dnf skephalo mcc video I really recommend skeppy's pov him and bad are really cute

-------------- I could've added so many more clips for each year but that wont actually help you understand skephalo, it isn't defined by definitive moments because they are very good at showing others only what they want to be shown and a lot of their interactions are made with the mindset of entertainment first and foremost I hope I managed to showcase that just because they approach things from a theatrical perspective doesn't mean there isn't much more going on under the hood

Dnf tends to have a lot more raw unfiltered moments, where as skephalos moments are all filtered through a bullshit filter because they just have so much experience with being live for hours together and never saying what they mean ever

#skephalo #be warned this is 4k words slammed out at fuck o clock at night #I wasnt kidding when I said thesis #long post #if I made a typo no I didnt #also I had to reformat this whole thing because the ask got deleted somehow and it refused to post #the things I do for this fandom #Youtube

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thegirlwhowrites642 · 2 years

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From Book 1(or From book they were introduced) to 7 -changes following characters(some are minor) goes through(characters arc) :-

Harry ,Ginny,Ron,Hermione,Remus , Tonks, Percy, Fleur, lavender

I remember reading this ask and being like "is this a challenge?". I could write books on some of these characters and on others there's very little to tell.

But you know what? As Barney Stinson would say:

Challenged accepted.

I'll need to be very synthetic which is not something I'm good at.

Lavender Brown

Lavender does not sustain any relevant change through the story, she's always painted as very girly and in contrast to Hermione. It's not surprising seeing that she's not a particularly relevant character. The only change we see is that at the start of OotP she doesn't believe Harry but then she's at the first meeting of the DA. She is not stupid or a coward but it's not a revelation of her character, she's always been a clear Gryffindor.

Fleur Delacour

Fleur doesn't really change, we just see new sides of her. In GoF, Harry finds her unlikable, and only when he saves Gabrielle, she warms up to Harry and we discover that she's not that bad. In HBP the Weasley women go through the same thing, with the addiction that seeing that she will be a new member of the family and they have to live with her, her unlikability is far heavier on them. One change that I guess we could see is when in DH before the Battle, when Percy comes back, she's the one that tries to break the tension by asking about Teddy to Remus. This shows an ability to read the room, and as basic as it is, it does seem to be an improvement for her. Most of the rude things she says to the Weasleys in HBP seem to not come from hatred but an inability to have any type of social filter. In an analysis of her character, we could see how this may be linked to her being part Veela.

Percy Weasley

Percy is always presented as an ambitious and smart character who is very academically driven. This does not change. I do not personally recall and have not found any declaration of loyalty towards Dumbledore in the early books (but please correct me if I'm wrong) so him taking the parts of the Ministry is not a change for him. There's on the other hand an interesting change in his relationship with Arthur.

Percy feels a connection with his father for his job at the Ministry and even seems to share Arthur's biggest interest. In the second book, he tells Harry that the optional subjects he should choose are divination and muggle studies. Percy has actually taken all the optional classes because we know he got 12 owls, so these are the ones he really likes and values more (I find it really interesting that the other is divination personally). Now, this is important because when Percy gets away from his family, he mainly rows with Arthur and shows resentment towards him. This seems to be a change due to Percy working at the Ministry for a year and having to deal with having "Weasley" as a surname but of course, we'll never know for sure. He could've bottled up those feelings against his father for years.

Percy needs the Battle of Hogwarts to come back to his family. As every Gryffindor he has braveness but also a lot of pride and stubbornness. By this point, he has no problem addressing his excessive ambition and his wrong behavior toward his family.

Nymphadora Tonks

Tonks is another of those characters that we don't really see changing, we just see different sides of her. If in OotP she's vibrant, funny, and energetic, in HBP she's depressed because of the whole Remus matter. I've seen people during the years say that the way she acted in HBP was out of character and my question is: based on what? How can you say that when we didn't know anything about her intimate emotional sphere? Between the scene in the infirmary and the one written by JKR outside the books, her attitude towards Remus doesn't seem to change. She's extremely sad but she doesn't sulk in silence. In DH she seems to return to her OotP-self which is coherent with her being now married to Remus. We don't know how she reacted to Remus going away, just that eventually they patch it up.

Remus Lupin

Remus is the incarnation of self-hatred. We see it from his very first appearance in PoA, just think about how he stays away from Harry for years and he keeps that attitude even when he becomes his professor. This is a central part of his character, something he constantly battles with and he seems to have a real improvement with the birth of his son. Remus is incredibly happy, he seems to finally start to see himself as worthy of love. Personally, I've always interpreted Remus making Harry Teddy's godfather as a sign of gratefulness for setting him back on the right path.

I've always found Remus's death very fitting because it made sense for me that at the end of the story all the Marauders died but that death is also an enormous tragedy for Remus' character because he's killed when he has finally started accepting himself and had in front of him years of happiness. It kind of cuts his arc right in the middle.

We could talk about the "marauders era" but I feel like I'd be going too much into speculation. What we can say is that surely Halloween of '81 caused a regression in his self-esteem, despite that, I think it's important to remember that it's suggested that Remus always had a sense of gratefulness towards the Marauders (specifically James) on a level that indicates a sense of feeling undeserving of their support.

Hermione Granger

Hermione is not a character that changes a lot, actually. Especially if you consider how much page space she has. But nonetheless, let's dive into what we have.

Managing stressful situations -> In PS we see Hermione not being able to act straight under pressure, in CoS she is not really involved in any action but she seems to be able to handle herself in PoA. Though PoA is also the book in which she goes completely out of control about the optional subjects. The narrative seems to imply that Hermione made a crazy choice taking them all, but we know that both Bill and Percy did it which means it's possible. This implies that Hermione didn't know how to deal with the pressure that all that work required, maybe because some of the subjects were difficult for her, like divination? We'll never know. From GoF, this trait of her seems to disappear.

Social skills -> We meet Hermione as someone with very poor social skills and who has a hard time making friends. I do not consider her becoming friends with Ron and Harry a sign of improvement because the event has very little to do with her social skills. I think in this aspect her friendship with Ginny, and to a minor degree, Neville and Luna, is far more significant. They are born in a more natural way even if still in forced circumstances, like all the time she spends at the Burrow. By the end of OotP, she even learns to not attack Luna on her beliefs. I do not consider the advices she gives Ginny (about Harry) and Harry (about Cho) improvement because I do not think she ever had a problem understanding situations as a third party, she doesn't know how to act when she's directly involved.

Family -> Hermione progressively distances herself from her parents spending constantly more time with the Weasleys to the point that one wonders where she would have spent Christmas of 1996 if she hadn't fought with Ron. It's not clear what are her motivations and feelings about it. In OotP we know that she cares about them knowing she became a prefect because at least they know what that means. The apex is her wiping away their memories of her but we know she eventually restores them. She's accepted by the Weasleys as family but through Ron, instead of that unconditional way in which Harry is a Weasley. If and how much she feels grateful for the Weasleys is not clear.

Ron -> I don't think her view of Ron changes much frankly, she was always more susceptible to his behavior. She seems to officially develop romantic feelings for him during CoS because, by the start of PoA, she obviously likes him. She always seemed pretty aware of her feelings but not open to making the first move. In HBP she invites Ron to the Christmas party which is surely an improvement but she remains very vague and in fact, we all know what happens. She does kiss Ron first but considering that they are three minutes away from a very likely death I don't think it can be considered character development. She also shows repeatedly that she's aware of Ron's insecurities but doesn't really act accordingly with the exception of her complimenting Ron about his idea of the fangs before the battle, could they have possibly talked about what happened with the locket? I suppose the real end of the arc, even if we jump from a first kiss to marriage, is her marrying Ron and having children with him.

House-elves -> The information we know about what she does after the books suggest that she eventually learns how to properly deal with the house-elves matter. While her feelings about the issue in the books are correct, her way of dealing with them is deeply wrong.

Ron Weasley

Ron is a character that consistently messes up and consistently improves himself afterward. From the start, we are made very aware of Ron's insecurities and his need to prove himself.

Insecurities regarding Harry -> From the first book we are made aware that Ron's aspiration is having glory, and success, in short: what Harry has. These feelings arrive at a peak in GoF when Harry becomes one of the champions, Ron eventually understands his error and apologies. Since then he really tries his best to suppress his insecurities about Harry and besides a comment about height in HBP, he needs a Horcrux to bring them up again. The destruction of the locket is symbolically Ron finally completely getting over this insecurity. It's made quite obvious by the story, especially when Harry says that he just knows it must be Ron who destroys the Horcrux.

Insecurities regarding his siblings -> He feels the weight of being the sixth son and the confrontation with Ginny who is the only girl, he constantly feels overshadowed and like he's not enough. The twins seem to be the main source of his insecurities, as suggested by Hermione. Like the ones about Harry, these too find a moment of resolution with the destruction of the Horcrux. The final push in the direction of understanding that he's not the least loved could probably be attributed to what Bill does for him during the period he is separated from his best friends during the seventh book. But we can already see significant growth by the end of OotP where he becomes very open to the idea of Ginny being included in his group of friends. By this point, he has won the Quidditch Cup and the twins are not around anymore. It's interesting to notice how he will end up working alongside George for life, unfortunately, though, the factor of Fred being dead can't be ignored.

Hermione -> Already in the first book, we see an arc with these two. Ron goes from being mean to Hermione to becoming her best friend. During the second year, he already manifests romantic feelings toward her. But as PoA makes it clear, he has absolutely no grasp on what he feels for her, for that we need to wait for the Yule Ball, and even there there's still a solid level of denial. By the fifth book though, Ron's attitude suggests that he has become aware of his feelings. In the sixth, I do not think that Ron doesn't know what Hermione feels for him. Hermione's attitude is far too explicit. I think he doesn't believe to be enough for her, as his reaction to Hermione kissing Krum suggests. If she was actually with the famous Victor Krum then the moment they get together she'll realize that he's not enough, right? This is reinforced by the whole Felix felicis mess. His relationship with Lavender seems to bring a new level of maturity to Ron as we see blatantly at the start of DH. Ron here also repairs his error of not inviting Hermione to the Yule Ball. Yet we know that he won't be completely rid of his insecurities until he comes back and destroys the Horcrux. After we'll also have the first moment in which Ron openly acknowledges his feelings for Hermione with Harry with a quote that I absolutely love: "All's fair in love and war, and this is a bit of both" (and then he married her and they had babies).

Career choice -> Ron stopping to be an Auror, a lifelong dream due to his need of proving himself, suggest an ability to finally overcome all those insecurities that he had, despite the fact that he will inevitably remain in part a person inclined to develop insecurities, he does a great job on himself.

Prejudices -> Ron is a character that grows up in the wizarding world and as a pureblood, despite the Weasleys being quite accepting and progressive we see him retain some prejudices, specifically against werewolves and half-giants. But because he's Ron, he soon overcomes his bias. While he never treated them badly, we also see him becoming sensible to the enslavement of the house-elves.

Luna -> Ron also becomes consistently more friendly with Luna. If in HBP he still calls her "Loony", in DH he shows a strong affection for the girl, highlighting Ron's great improvement in terms of maturity after the Lavender situation.

Ginny Weasley

Ginny is a pretty easy character to follow through the story, because of the role she covers in Harry's life her presence is usually well defined.

Confidence -> We are first introduced to Ginny in the form of a young girl with a strong personality, a need to not be left behind by her brothers, and a strong fascination for the famous legendary Harry Potter. Already from the scene where she runs after the train, we see the definition of her personality, both strong and sweet: she half laughs and half cries. Ginny's big expectations for Hogwarts are completely destroyed in this second book. We discover her as someone who has some strong insecurities regarding Harry and has a hard time fitting in. These insecurities that she could have probably easily gotten over considering her previous attitude are instead increased by Riddle's diary. This is a very different Ginny from the one we'll discover in OotP where she's outgoing, popular, and confident, the Ginny we'll keep seeing for the rest of the story. In between, we had PoA where she faded into the background, and GoF where she was already a lot more outgoing, her main insecurity remaining Harry, this is the year where she finally decides to get over him and starts dating Micheal. [for more about Ginny's insecurities check this post]. It's also interesting to note that during the progression of the books she becomes less and less open to being shoved aside because she is the girl or the youngest, her disagreement is consistently more and more strong. Becoming the mother of a youngest sibling who is a girl offers her the opportunity of ending that cycle.

Trauma -> At the tender age of eleven, Ginny goes through an enormous life-changing trauma that many readers during the years have described as "mind-rape". We see frequent glimpses of how this negatively affects her during the second book. By the end of CoS Ginny seems to be feeling pretty well as for the very start of PoA (the trip to Egypt probably helped). She has a regression that leads her to fade into the background due to the dementor incident, this and her being a lot more out-going in GoF suggests that her second year was the one dedicated to resolving the major part of her trauma. She goes back to being herself but with the inevitable changes of someone who lived through something so dark. She becomes quite guarded with her own feelings and has strong responses to people not respecting her boundaries.

Harry -> Ginny grew up hearing stories about the famous Harry Potter, and soon her fascination with this boy develops into full romantic feelings, probably a combination of Ron's stories and actually meeting Harry. It's important to notice how her feelings are never dismissed as a crush, she's said to have always been "quite taken" with Harry (GoF). And Harry is canonically the person who understands her perfectly so we have this on good authority. Ginny is overwhelmed by her feelings for him which make her uncharacteristically shy. Her insecurities when it comes to Harry contribute to her being subjected to Riddle. By the end of CoS, she seems more comfortable around her future husband. But PoA reminds us that she still has feelings for him and is still shy about it, even if she has a moment of boldness with the singing card. GoF is what changes everything, the combination of Harry's crush on Cho and Hermione's advice brings her to try to live a little and start looking at other fish in the sea, even if we know that deep down she never really gave up on Harry. During her fourth year, finally able to act like herself in front of him, she becomes quite an essential part of Harry's life. In the summer of '96, they officially become close friends, and during HBP we see glimpses of Ginny becoming increasingly worse at hiding her feelings for Harry while dating Dean. By the time of the break-up at Dumbledore's funeral, we know for sure that she's in love with him (that "I like you so much" is the worst disguised I love you in the history of time). DH reminds us that, in case someone had forgotten, Ginny has come a long way from the shy little girl, and clarifies with Harry that she's going to wait for him. And she did, ladies and gentlemen, she did.

Defender of the marginalized (Neville and Luna) -> In GoF she's embarrassed about going to the Ball with Neville, in OotP she defends him. At the start of OotP she calls Luna "Loony" (not with ill intention but it shows she has not taken the time to get to know her) by the end of the book they are friendly and in HBP she outright defends her from bullies. [for an insight into her relationship with Neville and Luna, read this post] This theme has a continuation with what she does at Hogwarts during the war.

Fleur -> In HBP she has an arc in her relationship with Fleur who she detests. At the end of the book, she begrudgingly accepts the girl in her family. [a clear nod to Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" if you want my opinion]

Quidditch -> She goes from training herself for years in secret to entering the house team as a second option in a position she doesn't prefer, to becoming the life and soul of the team and finally, she becomes a professional player and then a sports journalist. The theme of "coming out of the shadow" is very dominant in her character.

Writing -> Through the series, Ginny manifests an interest in creative writing. An activity strongly linked with her biggest trauma but we see a complete reappropriation of this passion when she becomes a journalist. While maybe due to her fading into the background in PoA, it's still interesting to note that the year dedicated to her emotional recovery is also the only one where in the book there are no elements that associate her with creative writing.

Harry Potter

I'm writing the summary of the summary of the summary of the summary for Harry because I could write seven other books on him.

Family -> Harry lives with a constant need of having a family as we see in the first book very explicitly. At the start of the series we see Harry hating the Dursleys (mainly Vernon) but still having some sort of need to connect with them, they are technically his family, after all. It ends when Sirius arrives in the picture and Harry completely takes him in as a parental figure, relying on Sirius' official role as his godfather. How Harry reacts to the argument between Sirius and Molly in OotP shows how the Weasleys are like family to him, but Sirius is family. With Sirius' death, the role of Harry's family falls exclusively on Ginny as made explicit in DH [for a bit of an insight on this, read this post]. Harry concludes his story as a husband and a father, finally achieving his heart's greatest desire.

Ron and Hermione -> Harry is never particularly confrontational with them, not surprising considering how he grew up. He avoids calling out Ron and he takes Hermione's nagging internalizing his annoyance towards her and fundamentally ignoring her. In the fifth book, he has a lot of understandable pent-up rage and he takes it out on them. Probably because they stick with him through that, in HBP he feels a bit more comfortable at occasionally criticizing Ron and manifesting verbally his annoyance towards Hermione. Nothing spectacular, mind you, but still, there's a bit of a change. Through the books, Harry also becomes progressively more aware of Ron's insecurities but he finally really grasps how deep they are rooted only with the destruction of the locket.

Ginny -> Harry's journey with his feeling for Ginny is more of a finding out something that was always there instead of about acquiring it. Since the first book Harry has a certain pull toward Ginny. In PS, PoA, and GoF is quite subtle, in CoS is honestly kind of thrown in the reader's face, it's very obvious even if Harry has no idea about it. But it's only in OotP that Harry's subconscious is finally given a full justification for this attraction he has for Ginny because she finally shows herself to him completely. By the time Harry kisses Cho, it's becoming quite difficult for Harry too to keep ignoring how superficial his feelings for the Ravenclaw girl are, and not coincidentally right after, it starts to become impossible to ignore Ginny in the book. Harry is reminded of their connection with darkness, she establishes herself as Harry's source of optimism, and the growing feelings that Harry has for her are nearly revealed to him in the easter eggs scene. At the end of the book, Harry's protectiveness toward her comes back all the way from CoS. Through HBP Harry's feelings for Ginny become constantly more impossible to ignore until the big revelation. Harry has a denial phase, a very long pining phase and then he finally kisses her. Their relationship is blissful oblivion (;D) and it's made quite clear that it's far from a casual teenage romance. Then there's the break-up, which funnily enough shows how much Harry loves her, and in DH, he associates more than once Ginny with marriage and family. His fight with Ron in the tent forces Harry to think about how uncertain he left things with Ginny and of the possibility of her being in danger. Before the final battle, Harry is open to losing Ginny's trust if that means her being alive. As we all know she is his last thought before dying and so it's not surprising then that Harry's story ends with him married to Ginny with kids.

Touch -> Harry is clearly someone that is not exactly comfortable with physical affection, clearly due to his upbringing. The first person he hugs in the series is Ginny in HBP. Touch is a strong component of their relationship and Harry seems to become a little more open to touch with other people too thanks to Ginny. In DH he hugs Mrs. Weasley and Ron and he doesn't feel uncomfortable when Hermione takes his hand in front of his parents' grave (admittedly he had more pressing matters at that moment than feeling uncomfortable but still). If we look at Harry's last thoughts of Ginny before dying there's once again touch ("[...]and the feel of her lips on his—"). Emotional conversations though seem to remain something he's comfortable only with Ginny and I suspect that to remain true for a very long time.

Being the hero -> While for us it's always obvious that Harry is the hero of the story, we're reading books named after him, in the story it goes a tad differently. PS establishes Harry has a natural hero, fighting evil is part of who he is, a concept remarked by Dumbledore and Ginny (his mentor and his soulmate, not exactly two random people). When he arrives in the wizarding world, Harry has this old fame and there are hints of him not being an average wizard, but it's only in CoS that Harry starts seeing that there's something out of the ordinary about him. Harry grows progressively more aware of his own role in the story and also of his own nature, GoF besides being the book that changes everything in the tone of the story and officially creates the need for conclusion in the HarryVSVoldemort situation, is also the book in which Harry starts thinking about being an Auror. OotP is the book in which he knows that he's not normal, status accentuated by his PTSD and survivor guilt, but everybody keeps telling him that he has to act like he is. When he finally learns about the prophecy in a way there's a sense of calm that settles in him, at least it all finally makes sense. And in HBP he is finally let into the big scheme, he works with Dumbledore. The sixth book is the best written one of the series because it's the more structured. Harry Potter lives both as Harry and the Chosen One with a constant back and forth between these two realities. The Harry one is strongly linked to Ginny, in fact, the break-up is symbolic of the Chosen One burying Harry deep down. In DH the Chosen One keeps being dominant over Harry and all the moments in which he allows himself to think of Ginny are the moments in which despite the Chosen One best efforts he can't hide Harry underwater. The death (where non coincidentally Ginny is brought up again) is in some way the actual death of the Chosen One. His mission is completed, the one that comes back is a Harry who actively chooses the take upon himself the mantel of the hero. It's Harry Potter that kills Voldemort, not the Chosen One. That chapter of his life officially closes with Ron and Hermione who in a way are also saying goodbye to the Chosen One and to their roles as his helpers. Harry saying that he needs to talk to Ginny is an indicator of this new Harry who is finally whole, merging the different parts of him, he's grown into himself, let's not forget that this is a coming-of-age story before anything else. This new Harry is the one we fully see in the Epilogue, aware of his identity as a hero but also free to finally make his own choices.

Dumbledore -> Harry for the first four books is very trusting of Dumbledore, but as for a lot of other sub-plots, then everything changes. OotP is the book in which Harry starts seeing that maybe Dumbledore is human after all and in fact, during HBP he is open to the possibility of Dumbledore being wrong. Harry is devastated by Dumbledore's death who was both his mentor and a grandfather sort of figure. His last protection is taken away and he has to step into the real world. Through DH Harry discovers another side of Dumbledore and that, added to his frustration and depression, leads him to become quite frustrated with Dumbledore who, at the end of the book, it turns out, had one last card hidden from Harry. Then there's a final reconciliation in the metaphysical King's Cross where Dumbledore owns up to his mistakes and Harry, in typical Harry's fashion, forgives him.

James and Lily -> since the very beginning of the story Harry craves the idea of meeting his parents. He particularly looks up to James and hopes to be like him, he finds pride in the idea. This is true until Snape's worst memory where feels a bit like a fool for all the years he looked up to his father. He also has a first real approach to Lily and he likes how she behaved in that situation. At the end of OotP, we see Harry reconciliation with his father, accepting that after all, it's part of being a human being flawed, yet from then Harry looks more at his mother like we can easily see when he talks to his parents and Sirius and Remus before walking to his death.

Neville and Luna -> Harry sometimes is a teenager like everybody else and so he looks down on people like Neville and Luna who are kind of the losers of the situation. But thanks to the two of them going to the Ministry with him he learns better, after all, he values courage above everything else and he grows to really respect them. This is underlined by the contrast in his feelings about riding the train with them in OotP and HBP.

Note: Before someone starts with the "But you didn't talk about this and that!": it's a synthesis.

#now you guys understand why it takes me so much time to answer?#I've re-written this thing a million times #lavender brown #fleur delacour #percy weasley #nymphadora tonks #remus lupin #hermione granger #ron wealsey #ginny weasley #harry potter #remadora #romione #hinny #thegirlwhowrites642HPmeta

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kg-clark-inthedark · 1 year

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Chapter 7 of Beyond the Spheres by kg_clark

I can recall only two moments in my life when I felt completely helpless. The first was the day that changed everything, seventeen years ago when I was suspended motionless in the air to watch Daud drive cold steel through Jessamine’s heart. The second was that horrifying realization that there was nothing I could do as Delilah cast my daughter in stone before my eyes. Now a third moment of powerlessness is coming glaringly into focus as I’m following Alastor into his apartment upon our return from the wedding and he suddenly just…vanishes.

One instant he’s leading me inside, smiling beautifully back at me, and the next he has disappeared into a plume of inky, fading smoke. It happens right in front of me with no warning, just like I had secretly feared it might. I’m not even quick enough to grab his hand, instead swiping the empty air where he had been just a moment ago.

For a few seconds I simply stare in disbelief. Surely I’m imagining things. This must be a cruel trick my mind is playing on me. If I blink a few times, Alastor will be standing before me again, won’t he?

But the seconds keep passing and my pulse begins to pound in my ears as the apartment remains empty and silent around me. Blood rushes through my head and I eventually stagger forward with a delayed gasp.

“Alastor?” I call out to nobody. My voice sounds so harsh and alarmed I barely recognize it as my own.

Please, no.

As I stand frozen, glancing feebly around the apartment, my fingers find the back of my left hand to seek comfort in my rising panic. An onslaught of questions begins, all rattling against one another inside my skull with potential answers too terrifying for me to fully face: What is happening? Was that the same Void-mist I watched Alastor materialize from and fade back into all those times as the Outsider? If so, he couldn’t have gone back to the Void…could’ve he? After all this time, like it’s nothing?

Another, more sinister thought arises as I begin involuntarily pacing the floor of the apartment. If it is the Void that Alastor disappeared to, I doubt he went with intention. He seemed…happy here. He told me the first day we saw each other at the bar that he was enjoying his freedom. He wanted nothing more than to be rid of that abyss for good. No, there’s no way he would’ve chosen to go back all of the sudden like this. He must have been pulled away against his will. In that case, will he be able to escape?

If I’m right, Alastor must be so frightened. It’s that thought, the notion of him trapped and scared with no way for me to help him, that mutates my panic into a sickening despair.

I’m usually shown some type of direction when I’m faced with situations like this. However I don’t know where to begin now. I no longer have any way of accessing the Void. Alastor and his runes were my points of entry. And it’s with uncertainty that I even theorize that’s where he’s gone. The only clue I have to his whereabouts is that fleeting moment of black mist that he left behind. If I had blinked I would have missed it entirely.

Seconds turn to minutes with me pacing the small space and eventually becoming so overwhelmed by what-ifs that I find myself sinking to the floor in distress. I hold my head in my hands. What am I supposed to do here?

I think about earlier today and the shift in our relationship that occurred. All I’ve been able to think about since the moment I found him is getting to the point that we got to today. Today brought certainty, a certainty I’ve been lacking ever since I lost his mark two years ago. Now the future of it all has suddenly been brought right back into question.

I was never a man of faith even before I fell into the Outsider’s favor. Growing up the way I did, losing my father young and needing to fight for a decent life, the teachings of the Abbey of the Everyman always came off as too pious and out of touch for me to include them in my personal beliefs. I’ve watched too many rely on the Abbey for guidance instead of bothering to come to any true understanding about themselves or their situations. However, in moments like this when I am entirely at a loss, I feel myself aching for external guidance. I used to turn to Alastor himself all those years, but now…

I’m drawn over to the window to look out at the night sky. Much like an overseer studying cosmological signs, I search the stars’ shimmering lights for clues. Sokolov described them as guide points in a perilous, black, howling chaos.

Taking a steadying breath, I let go of my pride and ask the cosmos above to bring him back to me. A prayer of sorts. Whatever the endless blanket of fireballs and spheres truly is, whatever its motivations may be, I beg its mercy for the first time.

Please, bring him back.

Continue reading on Archive of Our Own

#beyond the spheres fic #dishonored fan fiction #dishonored fanfic #corvosider #trying to get back into self promotion #it makes my skin crawl #but I shouldn't keep avoiding it #dishonored

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steamishot · 3 months

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~32~

i'm officially 32 years old! good lord. although it doesn't feel great to age, and also see everyone around me get older, i'm excited to watch my niece and the younger generation grow up. my niece is also officially 2 years old and it's been a blessing to watch her develop and now put together like 4 words. i was fortunate to attend her birthday celebration this past sunday. the turnout was huge and i was happy to get to see family/family friends that i have not seen in sooo long.

matt and i took a red eye flight back to NYC on monday/MLK day. he returned to work on tuesday/my birthday and i felt a little blue considering i went from socializing/partying a lot to basically being on my own again. the benefit to this is i feel the most energized/rejuvenated after being in my own space. all of my skincare/hygiene products are here. the bed we're most familiar with is here. and it's also nice to have quiet time all to myself - this was pretty infrequent at home living with my family who often babysat.

the job search is becoming depressing news to me again. it's a lot of waiting, waiting, waiting. however, matt has said he's not going to renew our apartment lease this year as he'll find his way back by september. with the 4 month notice, that means he needs to get something by end of april. my friend K who is always thoughtful, sent me a 90 day self-care journal for my birthday gift. i'm trying to be diligent with this as a quick daily habit which will be useful for my interim period before moving back. habits that i've kept up daily: a few minutes of chess puzzles, and at least one duolingo lesson a day. i'm now practicing chinese instead of japanese as it is more useful to me and i just hit my 41 day streak woohoo.

this week, i'm catching up with all the work i didn't do the past month i was in LA lol. i find it really hard to focus there because i get distracted easily. i felt guilty in this past meeting because i didn't seem prepared or as invested in the work (which may be myself projecting) so i'm working hard to make up for it.

recent events & future events:

went to vegas with matt's family. this trip turned into mostly meeting up with their family friends. they treated us to AYCE sushi (which was surprisingly good), provided us an airbnb to stay in, and we ate a yummy homecooked meal at someone's bougie house one night. matt, T, and i also hung out with V a 17 year old valedictorian and we all played poker together.

checked out the sphere at vegas! it's been a looong time since i've last visited vegas, maybe 7-8 years. on average, not much has changed. but it was interesting to go again, to see what my family gets up to since they visit pretty often. my parents will be going for LNY

visited BB at her new townhouse and had a girls dinner at her place with H & BT. it was a really nice visit because we talked a lot about work related things/behind the scenes gossip (i.e. a former employee who stole hundreds of thousands worth of laptops) that i'm out of the loop with. i'm the one who enters investigatory leaves on the HR system, but i rarely know what's going on until BB fills me in. at this point, i'm really looking forward to doing a hybrid schedule because i feel so disconnected to the work i do now.

introduced SZ to classpass and attended a local yoga class together. she's been checking out a number of other local yoga studios and i'm excited to try them out with her when i'm back.

party of the year - my nieces 2nd bday lol

watched hadestown broadway yesterday with matt, seated in the 3rd row from the front. these were the best seats we've had to date for any show. i remember i watched my first broadway (aladdin) show in 2014 in the balcony seats where you could hardly see the people on stage. 10 years later- started at the back and now we here lol

will be going to figure drawing at happy medium tonight with T. the model will be nude and we'll be supplied with a drink and charcoal - i'm excited!

due to broadway week and BOGO tickets, we'll be watching sweeney todd next wed!

double date with S&I next thurs, where I will make his yummy steak. i have pretty high expectations because S mentions his steaks are better than NYC steakhouses haha

equinox hotel staycation next friday-monday. i took friday and monday off this time around so we can fully enjoy the experience

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kridders · 11 months

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Word of the Day Story [Jan. 10th, 2023]

Pure black. Whistling music. Primordial soup.[1] Cold. The sound of movements of wind, and then finally, light.[2] Smith struggled opening his eyes from what felt like a thousands year rest, adjusting to the reflected light which shined over him. After his first conscious breath in his remarkably intact helmet, he next breathed in his surroundings, though there wasn’t much to see. Stepping was harder than Smith had imagined, but it wasn’t long before Smith was back on his way to Mont Pèlerin[3], the small outcrop which was seen by all participants as humanity’s next genesis. Out of the many engineers, physicists, and likewise utopians of the project, only the most flexanimous[4] of them were sent further into the stars.

Smith was nearly back to the settlement, following vehicle tracks and signs he had difficulty reading because of his thick dialect of Yankeese[5]. Though, as he got closer, a dread began to fill him, as the clear walls of the spheres they called home were covered in thick vegetation.[6] As Smith entered through the airlock[7] and took off his helmet, the first thing to strike him was a thick scent of vinnewedness[8] in the air, one he could only imagine if the air outside was breathable. Each step he took he couldn’t help but trample over the thick vine that now made up the floor, creating a gushing noise as his foot fell through to the bottom.[9] He called out, but to no response. Though, as he would soon find out, he wasn’t alone, and this was made quite evident as Smith entered the barracks to the sight of an outstretched palm around the corner. Smith was immediately relieved to see this, though as he turned the corner he was only struck with horror. The hand he saw was attached to an arm that could’ve been the length of a hose, and bending and turning like it had the form of one. He turned in shock only to see more of his teammates as amorphous things of flesh and sinew, but surely not bone. And at the center of it all, the origin of the vegetation which filled every chamber of their artificial habitat, a benign tree which they’d seen tens of thousands of outside. All that Smith could do was begin to realize the similarities of what were his teammates and the lifeformsms[10] which harassed them outside.[11]

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1 Stolen straight from Disco Elysium. I never finished it, at most I put like, four hours into it. It was one of those things where I pirate a game late on a school night, end up playing it until its a bit too late, and then never pick it up again. I'll likely never see what the rest of the game has to offer despite how much some of my friends have liked it, but some lines still stick out to me from when I ran out of money on the first night.

2 I remember when my History & Structure of the English Language teacher read this aloud, after she finished she went back to this line to say how much she liked it. That made me pretty happy. Though, I don't know, it doesn't flow too well? And it's not even wholly original. I'm glad she liked it but there was just a bit of guilt underneath it.

3 A direct reference to Half-Earth Socialism, and uh, reality too I guess. Specifically to the Mont Pelerin Society, a kind of neoliberal internationale I guess you could call it. I'm not sure if I had finished Half-Earth Socialism by this point or not, but it would come to basically define my current ideological standings in at least some part. For a bit I was pretty annoying about it, getting into arguments about how nuclear power shouldn't be the end goal, which is kinda dumb to argue about what is a better answer to fossil fuels, but y'know, that's sorta just what theorybrain does sometimes. I could get a bit caught up in ideals, but I've mostly tempered out now. The closure of nuclear power facilities is bad, even if moving to actual renewables should come alongside the move away from fossil fuels. But I was dumb, this is me 6 months ago we're talking about, a mere child. In classic pseud style, this whole story is actually a metaphor for the ills of ecocide, the impossiblity of truly understanding the mechanisms of nature, etc. I'm not sure if it does a great job at getting that across, but as part of the requirements I could only have one page for this whole story, so I worked with what I had. Had to cull quite a few sentences to get it underneath that limit. But look at me now! I can write forever. This is what true liberation feels like.

4 This actually isn't the full document for this story, as it has an earlier page with the definitions for each of the colored words. The point of this project, the Word of the Day Story, was to use these antiquated terms the class would get from a calendar full of them, and to synthesize a few into a short story. We got to pick which ones from a limited selection, though I think I chose mine pretty randomly. I didn't want to spend too much time selecting and have the whole class waiting on me. I'm a bit of a coward. Once I got all my words I eventually decided I wanted to do a horror-ish sci-fi story, inspired by the previously stated book, refer to [3]. Here's what flexanimous actually means, taken from the first page:

"flexanimous, adj. (/flɛksænɪməs/)

Having the power to bend or influence the mind."

Not sure if I actually used that correctly here. Not like it really matters though. Words are what we decie they are, and considering I'm the only current user of the word, I get to decide the meaning. It means you can make up your mind and have a strong resolve now.

5 "Yankeese, n. (/jaŋˈkiːz/)

American English."

Pretty self-explanatory for that one, though I use it more like an accent here. I think I used to think it was funny that the American kinda struggled with the internationalism of the mission, but its difficult for me to remember. Considered going on here about my worries about my poor memory but I don't need to put that down, I've thought about it enough.

6 Also a reference to the biospheres referenced in the beginning of Half-Earth Socialism. For the real biospheres, they call Earth "Biosphere 1." What nerds.

7 At this time, I had also finished or been watching The Martian in my film class. It probably contributed a lot to the idea of wanting to do a sci-fi story in the first place. My History & Structure of the English Language teacher was also actually my film teacher as well, just due to a quirk in scheduling. It's weird that I saw her twice every day for a whole semester, but now she's resigned here, to the footnotes. Not like many of my other teachers fare much better though. Highlighted 'airlock' here because it reminded me of the scene where the airlock explodes in The Martian.

8 "vinnewedness, adj. (/vɪnoʊedness/)

Mustiness, mouldiness.

Womby vaultages, hollow caverns"

This is the word that really made me decide on the horror aspect to the sci-fi elements I've mentioned previously. I sorta have a thing for gross horror. I've always liked horror, but it wasn't until I read Uzumaki, and likely 3/4ths of the rest of Junji Ito's works, that I decided that it was now an aspect of me. I didn't really know I liked gross/body horror until I read him either. Most of the gross stuff later in the story is directly inspired by the variety of Ito works I've read. It's a collection that spans from my bedroom here to my bedroom in my father's house an hour and a half away. He's gotten me all of my books, but I brought some here to read while I'm away. For some reason, writing that out made me feel a bit guilty. But to continue, my dad has always been the impetus for, well, a lot of my interests, but particularly horror. It was basically just him, and me at home looking at TribeTwelve analyses on my first laptop as a 13 year old. We've watched a lot of horror movies together with his big portrait of Lovecraft leering at us from the corner. I can't remember much from when I was young but I can still remember that night, seeing him carry it into the old apartment. He had got it from some woman? I'm not sure on the details of how he procured it exactly. But its this huge thing, this glow-in-the-dark looking paint on canvas. It's been leering at me for quite a while now. I even used to sleep under the thing in the old apartment.

9 There was this other kid in my class who said he liked my story after the teacher finished reading it. "Gross, but in a good way." It was what I was going for so I was pretty glad. I think after the teacher finished this line, they went "ough!"

10 A genuine spelling mistake that genuinely haunts me. Thinking about my old teacher having to read over this and correct it in her head makes me really embarassed.

11 The whole "becoming the life which had once inhabited the planet" concept comes from a Ray Bradbury story I had to read for one of my classes some grades back. I can't remember the name of it, but it was about this batch of space colonists sent to Mars, and slowly overtime they began using the old alien names for locations(?), their bodies transforming, habits changing, eventually becoming the aliens that had once been vanquished. I like a good bit of Bradbury stuff. I've read Farenheit 451, I think even watched some film adaptions of stories with my dad, and then I had that class where we spent a while talking about him, reading stories and watching short film adapations. Horror units in English are always fun until they get to Edgar Allan Poe.

Ending note:

Seeing all these influences put to word reminds me pretty starkly that I've always had an issue with creativity when it comes to, well, being creative, whether it be writing or what have you. I have a lot of artistic concepts I like but I never really know how to turn them my own, and even the metaphor of the story is based off something I was reading, with nothing of my own added. All art is derivative, but it often feels like what I create is just my influences put into a blender, and it isn't really greater than the sum of its parts - it can't be. Hell, even this method of analyzing comes from me reading House of Leaves recently. I've been wanting to dot a work with footnotes and I finally figured out a good reason to. The impetus of good art is "I could do that but better," but what do you do when you see good art? All I can manage is an imitation. I'm glad I could at least get some humanity to paper though. It's been a bit too long. This isn't of my own inspiration of course, I met a really interesting girl recently. My writing isn't as elegant as her's, mine's much more uh, Johnny Truant, though I guess that fits. Mood writing is pretty scary for me, and sorta makes me wonder if my lack of memory is more voluntary than anything. Proceeding though, that's the last piece of creative writing I've done in quite a while. Well, disregarding alternate history related things. I don't really hold those to the same regard, for whatever reason. Maybe I'll humanize some more of my writing at a later time.

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official-megumin · 1 year

Note

Warning: I'm sorry

Spoilers

Chapter one: PreCurrent Day/Hive bullshit

Okay so it's [BEFORE CURRENT DAY (BCD)] and this weird fuckin prosper orb is helping a planet very poorly and the shit worm tells someone named Savathun that that the traveller is gonna leave and to eat him to save her species.

She goes ahead and brings 2 moochers who also eat worms and now they're gods. Savathun, the god of cunning. Oryx, the taken king. And the third most dangerous one I don't remember the name of. Then they feed the species with worms and now the Hive is born.

Also the Vex are time traveling robots that can predict the future and came to save their species, the Cabal are people who fought the Hive and lost and some of them maybe have Void or something. Eliksni/Fallen are people who thought Communism Sphere was a Great Machine and then it left and ruined the species and now some are pissy about it (Fallen) and others are chill (Eliksni). Okay time for-

Chapter 2: Current Day/The Greater Depression/FUCK LIFE KILL US ALL

Don't need to explain this bit up till the Commie Ball rocks up and slaps its Magnum Dong on Mars. Humanity scuttles up and we get the Traveler to jizz on the planet and fix all the problems. Can you tell the writer doesn't know what she's talking about that much?

Chapter 3: Golden Age

We get Siva (all consuming nanotechnology that build with zero pollution), RA RA RASPUTIN (Warmind connected to every weapon in the solar system probably Silva and maybe he nuked the Commie Ball) exoskeleton made with Vex water (revised later) on Europa (we'll get there in like 7 chapters) by a piece of shit grandfather named Clovis Bray and everything is good.

AND THEN ALONG CAME ZEUS(The Witness and The Darkness) and something happened to save us. Either Commie Ball failed to kill itself or something else did it.

Either way this is where ghosts are born. And where we eventually get blue people so net positive.

Chapter 4: dark age/everything goes to shit

Not every reanimated corpse was good so someone formed the vanguard. And now a blue person leads it (I'll get there).

Every enemy learns the one weakness of guardians (ghost cores lol (yes this is important)), and now they're scared kinda not really guardians are maniacs.

Also fun fact: the Hive Gods all hate each other, also you can only truly kill a Hive God in their Throne World.

OKAY, blue people. Space magic rift + ball died= temporal rift and space radiation which made them technically a different species. Idk it's a human saiyan thing but closer.

Chapter 5: destiny the oneth

Vanilla: kill shit.

Next thing I remember: fireteam leader unplugs his lan cable and forces Crota to kneel infinitely and get killed by sword spam.

Next raid:"HAHA KILLED YOUR KID" followed by "HAHA KILLED YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" also queen mara Sov is gone.

That's all I remember.

Chapter 6nd: Destiny 2 year one

Vanilla: kill shit

Red war: The light has been taken! Retreat! Okay we got it back. Kick their AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (read sentence in super kami guru's voice, because please) Forsaken: Invade the Prison Of Elders with Cayde-6. Cayde-6 kicks ass. Cayde-6 rides down to the bottom floor. Cayde-6 kicks more ass. Cayde's ghost gets obliterated. We're too late. Cayde is lying on the ground, dead after being shot point blank by Uldren Sov, brother of Queen Mara Sov, and corpse to be. Cayde did get a joke in at the end though so it's kinda balanced out. Uldren also released the SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNNNNNNN. Anyway the rest of forsaken is revenge. For Cayde, our chicken loving, probably a criminal, friend. Then we murder a bunch of people, and it turns out an Awoken Wish Granting Dragon named Riven is alive and she was behind it all.

We kill(?) her and shoot Uldren Sov in the head with Cayde's revolver. Oh yeah riven doesn't die until the last wish raid.

Shadowkeep: idk there's a pyramid ship on the moon, nightmares of things you've killed, I didn't go past the first mission on this one honestly.

BEYOND LIGHT: TIME TRAVEL, ROBOTS, STASIS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Okay so we missed one person involved in Cayde's death, Variks. That's not important though because Eramis is mad and has stasis so now we gotta kill 'er. Then we do. Also Elsie Bray!!!!!!!!!!!!! This dlc was fun. Also Elsie is a time traveler trying to stop this world from falling like hers.THE WITCH QUEEN: Savathun infiltrated the vanguard acting as Osiris, and then I think she got her worm removed. She was also the taken queen.

Anyway Mars is back, funky time shit, shoot yourself out of a cannon to prove your ass is indeed fat. Infiltrate Savathun's ship and steal this blade, fight these light bearing hive. Oh this one's a bit tougher- is that a ghost? Shit that's a gho- HE'S BACK. And then you crush the ghost. You actually kill a light bearer. Move forward more, oh dear lord Savathun's degradation I mean GET THAT BITCH. you kill her. Oh no you're trapped. Oh no there's three of her now.

And then you fall face first onto Mars. And then you make the glaive. I named mine Mr. Stick. I don't own this dlc.

This has been my recap of destiny.

Ok so Yea That’s about the story but told very loosely.

The hive god you forgot is named Xivu Arath

Rasputin did NOT try to stop the traveler. However he did consider it.

The worm was also helped by a guy named Rhulk, who fuckinh bodied the giant beast that kept the worms submissive. He also inslaved their mom.

Also the traveler wasn’t doing it poorly, in fact. It was gonna choose the hive to empower, and the worms lied.

There’s so much lore revealed in the past Year. It’s crazy, so get the witch Queen if you can

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inknopewetrust · 3 years

Text

A Little Chaos

Summary: A thief finds herself at the center of the kidnapping of two girls and has the attention one very attractive detective.

Pairing: Detective Loki x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: Criminal activity, flirting, sexual references, brief choking, probably 16+ based on content but no explicit smut. A mention of pedophilia but nowhere near in detail.

A/N: I don't think I've ever written something like this and can I just say that I really loved it!? So, I really hope you all do too! Requests are currently CLOSED but I hope to open them soon again and with new characters to add to my list. Check out my Masterlist for all other works. Thanks so much for requesting this @mrs-blooooom! I just loved the idea so much and thanks for being so kind about all the delays!

One - pick the lock

Two - lift up the screen and frame as quietly as possible but make absolutely no rough work of it.

Three - slip on the shoe covers and assess the gloves before entering through the window.

Four - get to work.

That was always the structure, no questions asked. Though, you noticed the news beginning to trace your patterns. You had made a hit in another neighborhood two weeks ago and because the news began reporting the patters, you were sure the police weren’t far behind.

And perhaps on that particular Thanksgiving, you shouldn’t have done another–or picked that house, rather.

Detective David Loki had a million different things running through his mind on a daily basis. When a case such as the Dover-Birch one stuck itself in the middle of an already pending investigation of burglaries in the Conyer’s area, he had a hunch of who he would investigate first. But he couldn’t get to that immediately because Keller Dover convinced him and his superiors that the RV belonging to Alex Jones was the first and only way to go.

But even after interrogating the man who had a child-like innocence to him, David Loki was convinced there was something more to the story. There had to have been a connection to who burglarized the Dover’s that same night and where the girls could be... he was certain, but then he wasn’t because he wasn’t sure you were the kind of person who would kidnap two innocent girls.

On a particularly slow Tuesday, no new leads had come in and the investigation had stalled because Alex Jones had now gone missing without a trace. Although he was doing everything he could, Loki was far from finding a solution and decided to take the initiative into his own hands and dive into the file he had been working on for nearly five months–the one into you and your less-than-stellar activities. The post-it note sticking out of the side of the manilla folder contained an address to an apartment in the center of town. He plucked it out, tucked it into his pocket and walked straight out of the station.

You weren’t worried about being considered a suspect in the kidnapping of two girls. You had no connection to the Dover’s, Birches’, or the Jones’, as well as no connection to the scene of the crime. You were always careful, and the Dover’s had no security cameras. So, when your comm buzzed in the middle of the day, you weren’t expecting it to be the police.

“Hello?”

“Ms. L/n? This is Detective Loki with the Conyer’s Police Department. I have a few questions I would like to ask you.” The voice was cackled with the circuited communication buzzer but you heard the man loud and clear. You also knew exactly who that was.

Detective David Loki was an infamous creature of Conyers. One day he just seemed to sprout out of nowhere and into the public sphere, but you had known him for a while. You were never friends, and you were sure until now he didn’t even know your name, but he was the star pupil of the town. And the spotlight he was in, he absolutely hated it. Every time his picture appeared in the paper or when he had to speak on the television relayed that message and you laughed in pity. The poor man just wanted to do his job and that was one part he didn’t sign up for.

“Can I ask what this is regarding?”

“The investigation into Joy Birch and Anna Dover. I just have a few questions I’d like to ask you if you would step-”

“I’ll buzz you up.” You pressed the button and unlocked the door, opening it just enough for you to rest on the frame with one arm on the door and the other on your hip.

Another thing you knew about Detective David Loki was that he was one of the most attractive people you had ever laid eyes on. The man was a walking dream but unfortunately, on the other side of the law which was far from promising when it came to your vivid imagination.

“How nice of you to not barge into my home, Detective.” You called out to him as he appeared on the steps landing just down the hall from your door. Loki gave no smile but shoved an orange post-it into his jacket as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“This surely won’t take long.”

With a nod you moved away from the door, shutting it closed behind you. With the sudden and unexpected presence of this man who was a fine line between formal detective and loose cop, there was an urge to be exactly the opposite of what he wanted you to be. He had been trailing you for just enough time to learn patterns in your life, the people you associate with, the fact that you had a degree and a decent job. You had an apartment to call your own, a car that wasn’t stolen and yet you continued to break into people's homes and steal curious objects for what? Consignment sales? He wasn’t sure. But you weren’t going to give him the answers he was looking for. You enjoyed the life you built for yourself...even if you had to steal and sell things to arrive at ends meet to pay for everything in your life.

“So... what can I do for you?”

“Can you recall where and what you were going on the night of Thursday, November 28th?”

“Thanksgiving?” You asked with a raised brow and he nodded. Loki pulled out no notebook to take notes, rather he watched every movement. He was trying to identify guilt, but you were a casual sleuth. It wasn’t a game he was used to because all of his suspects eventually gave in.

“I got up around 8:30, maybe 9 and ate some breakfast, um I-” You took a seat on the arm of your couch, running a hand over your mouth trying to “remember” what exactly you were doing a few days ago.

“-took a shower and then got started on my dish to pass at my parents dinner. I made sweet potatoes and stuffing-or dressing... I don’t know what you call it.” Loki was far from amused that you were making this appear less than serious. He couldn’t let himself believe that you were stupid enough to believe he wasn’t there on behalf of the story that captured the attention of the entire nation, so he didn’t believe a word you said.

“When that was done I got ready, did my makeup, and headed out to my parents where my sister and her family were meeting us to have dinner. Then I left their house around 7-ish and came home.”

“After dinner you went straight home?”

“Yes.”

You looked at him with an unfazed gaze which he met but didn’t buy. It was a game. A cat and mouse game that he wasn’t willing to bite into but it was too late, you already had him on a string. Loki would be lying if he didn’t find you attractive, even in the slightest. You were a beautiful woman, and it was because of how you looked that you’ve never been caught. You always covered every inch of your body and you looked unassuming. You had a perfectly pristine house, looked like someone who didn’t need to steal to live but then again, most of the time, all the people who do steal never look like they would because that is what people are taught not to look for.

“I made some phone calls late last week and someone in your family spilled that you weren’t there. In fact, you haven’t been to a family holiday since you graduated college nearly ten years ago. Bad relationship?”

“I can assure you–whoever you talked to, they weren’t there. I was there. I can tell you what I wore, what I ate, what was on the T.V. and what color shoe my nephew was wearing that day.”

“Those could just be good guesses?” Loki let his eyes wander around the small living space. He looked at the picture frames, the vases, the bins, the T.V. stand, everything that could have screamed “out of place” to him but nothing did.

“You didn’t happen to pass two little girls on your drive home, did you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Two girls. I’m sure you’ve seen their picture on the news.” Loki pointed to the T.V. at first but then dug into his pocket and pulled out a single picture of two girls photographed on a playground. They were smiling widely and happily at the person behind the camera. You had never seen the girls so you shook your head no and crossed your arms.

“No. I’ve never seen them before. Am I supposed to?”

“I don’t know, are you?”

“What are you implying, detective?”

“Do you know the house you broke into on Thursday, November 28th was the home of Anna Dover. Anna and her friend Joy went missing that same night after returning to the Dover residence to find a whistle. You were inside the home at the time we believe the girls went missing. So, tell me–do you know where the girls are?” Loki was zoned in accusation. The man was unwavering in his tone or his assumption and you would say it was scary if you didn’t find it attractive. Why, God WHY, did the detective working on this case have to be everything you looked for in a man? It would be so much easier if he were old and wrinkled but he was far far from it.

“Detective, if I would have known you would come into my home and accuse me of kidnapping two innocent girls, I wouldn’t have answered the ring.”

“Where are the two girls? Do you know where they are?”

“No. I told you I didn’t take the girls.”

“But you were in the house? Did you see the girls?”

“I didn’t say that either.”

“What if I told you that you were a sloppy thief?”

“Excuse me?” You furrowed your brows in confusion. You were certain that you were not. There was never a time where you left as much as a trace of hair in a location that you hit.

“The bin.” Loki walked over to the T.V. stand that had three white bins tucked into slots. The bins were generally filled with junk except for one thing that the Dover’s told him went missing yesterday afternoon. A medium size blue decorative pot with yellow flowers on its sides. It was meant for shallow flowers as a table center piece that was gifted to Keller and Grace on their wedding day. Grace was distraught over it and it was sitting the left-most bin under the television. Loki pulled open the drawer and carefully took out the pot and you looked at it with a shrug.

“Where did you get this?”

“My mother.”

“I thought I told you that they told me you haven’t spoken to them in a decade?”

“Well I obviously spoke to them before that.”

“I am going to ask you again and I want an honest answer. Where did you get this pot?”

What were you supposed to do? The man literally cracked the code. If only you hadn’t chosen that house. Oh! How much easier your life would be.

“I plead the fifth.” Oh, fuck.

Loki set the pot carefully down and pulled a pair of handcuffs from his belt. It would have been hot if you weren’t terrified of what came next. Then you made an ill-timed joke.

“You’re not pulling those out for another reason are you?” You didn’t even laugh yourself because he simply ignored it and motioned for you to stand and turn around.

“I am going to take you to the station and we will talk more there. Stand up, turn around, and give me your hands.”

“I already told you I don’t know where the girls are.” Ignored again but the feeling of him pushing your shoulder with his hand and taking your wrist was something you wished you would stop replaying in your mind.

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything-”

The Conyer’s Police Station was wimpy compared to other cities. It was a small, single story brick building with three holding rooms and one interrogation room. You weren’t sure how long you sat in the holding cell, but it was nighttime by the time you were taken out of the room by another officer and into a brightly lit, slightly yellowed room with a mirrored window and a small desk with two chairs. There was a pencil and a pad of paper at the center of it but you were sure if it was going to be Detective Loki interrogating you, he wouldn’t need it.

The officer uncuffed you with no words spoken and pointed at the chair facing the window. You rubbed your wrists from the friction the metal left before taking a seat and staring into the glass where your reflection met your own. You had nothing to do with the two missing girls so you had nothing to give them, or rather, nothing to give Loki to further his investigation.

The man of the hour waltzed into the room a mere five minutes after you were sat down. He had a half-drank cup of coffee in one hand and a small grouping of papers in the other. Loki sat down, settling himself before looking up at you and beginning the interrogation.

“Please state your name, age, and address.”

You recited the information as told.

“How many homes a year do you burglarize?" Loki opened a file that was tucked under some papers with a series of pictures printed on a piece of computer paper. It was amalgamation of missing objects from families around Conyers. You were fucked, but you couldn't let him think that, or at least believe that you were guilty in anyway. Your stealing wasn't going to find those girls because you had no idea where in the world they were. You had never seen them before their faces were plastered on every hour of the news.

"Shouldn't my lawyer be here if you are going to accuse me of something?"

"Do you need a lawyer?"

"Do I, Detective?"

It was the attitude that angered him the most. A woman like you didn't need to steal. Based on your records, he had no reason to truly believe you would. Clean record. No screaming signs of intent or distrust popped out but he knew you were guilty. There was not a doubt. But there was something in that attitude that made him squirm. An attractive quality that he did not want to admit.

"If you answer the questions I ask truthfully, then no, you won't need a lawyer."

"Ask away." You leaned back in the chair with arms crossed and a determined narrowness to your eyes. It was a challenge. Try me, Detective. Do it, I dare you.

"When did you first start stealing?"

"When I was seven. My sister always had better stuff, so I took it."

"And that escalated to...what?" Instead of leaning back on his own chair, Loki leaned forward. His shoulders were hunched in an aggressive, intense tactic to scare you into admitting something that you didn't have any part of. He just wanted to find those girls and you happen to be a speed bump in the way.

"Minor petty theft. I never take anything over $500."

"How do you know what something is worth?"

"I'm sure you can find that in my file, Detective. Everything is there I am sure of it. You all know just how to frame the people you want. But I had nothing to do with those girls."

Loki's line of aggravation was growing thin. Sooner or later, attitude wasn't going to cut it and he was going to have to use the tactics he used on Alex Jones and other potential perpetrators on you. He never liked to get outright violent with women, but he couldn't let this go without trying to get something. The days were wearing thin and he needed to find Joy and Anna.

"You were in the Dover's house the night of the abduction. Where are the girls?"

"I told you I didn't have anything to do with that."

"Didn't or don't."

"Doesn't matter. I did not see them. I do not know where they are. Ruining children's lives isn't my MO, Detective-"

"But you do and you did! YOU were in that house. YOU were at the scene of the crime at the time they went missing. YOU are the one who knows what happened to those girls!" His voice was no longer steady and calm as he had been taught during his training. His string had snapped when in response, you laughed.

Loki flew out of his chair, rounded the table as the sound of his chair skidded across the floor and to the wall behind him. If you weren't so focused on him, you probably could have heard the surprised yells of the Detectives and Officers behind the mirror. The angered Detective roughly arrived at his destination–you, and grabbed the back of your hair, pulling your head back to look at him as he stood over you.

"Where the fuck are the girls?" It came out like a hiss. His eyes enraged with pain for the families and his own reputation if the case goes wrong and he doesn't find them in enough time. You weren't scared of him or his tactics. Rather, it was quite the opposite. If he wasn't attractive, you would have been disgusted but the man was the epitome of perfection and this scene would be one to get you off for years to come.

"I told you, I don't know where the girls are." He gripped your hair harder and you felt the chair waver underneath you. Still not scared.

"You're a liar, a fucking thief, and I don't believe you. Where are the girls? Do you like that sort of thing, huh? Do-"

"You sick fuck. I'm a thief not a fucking pedophile. I didn't take the girls!" You were slightly taken aback by his suggestion, but it was all a tactic. You had seen it on millions of police shows before. He just wanted answers, but he wasn't going to find them with you. Whatever in the sentence you had just spoken to him, Loki was worse off for it. He practically lifted you by the hair and charged you into the wall roughly. Not enough to leave a mark, but enough to make a point. He wasn't playing around but neither were you.

Loki's hand let go of your hair and one found itself on the wall next to your head as he closed in on you. You could feel his breathe on your face and his eyes pierced your goddamned soul. The other, well the other found itself right on your neck, holding you in place against the wall with a slight squeeze. Holy fuck.

"Keep this up Detective and I would have the means to believe this might lead to something else." The smile, your smile crept up on your face at your own assumption. You wouldn't complain if it did escalate to that.

"TELL ME WHERE THE GIRLS ARE? WHERE IS ANNA? WHERE IS JOY?"

"I told you I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE GIRLS ARE!"

There was something in your own anger that made him want to believe you didn't take the girls or had any clue where they were. He would hate to see a woman like you throw your life away for a career of crime. The proximity between the two of you was next to none. A knife wouldn't have been able to break the tension and the way he held you, unintentionally violent with a hand just a little too suggestively on your neck was a mistake but not one that he was readily going to admit. If this was any other situation, he might have let himself be willing to feel something more. But this was an interrogation, so he kept the face and squeezed just a little harder.

"Where are they? Tell me where they are?"

"Starting to sound like a broken record there. I would tell you again but I'm sure you have my admission of NOT KNOWING WHERE THEY ARE ON TAPE!"

Loki had enough and let your neck go with a jolt. His hands went to his belt where his cuffs were sitting and he pulled them out and turned you around. Your body was flush against the wall and one of his large, tattooed hands held your wrists together as he went to cuff them. This was another thing that would forever be engrained in your "sexy when it shouldn't be" file in your brain.

"Fine. You won't tell me where they are? Maybe a night in lock up will make you think." His voice was low, just at the base of your ear and his hot breath lingered on your neck as you could hear nothing but your heart beating out of your chest and the sound of cuffs closing.

But the man didn't get much further than that because the door to the room opened and like two deer in headlights, you both turned your heads to the sound of the intruder. It was another officer who looked both scared and amused and slightly embarrassed in regard to what he walked in on. He approached Loki as the latter man pulled you off the wall and forward, in front of him to walk toward the door.

"It was the hospital. Joy Birch was just admitted."

The look on Loki's face was priceless. You literally scoffed out loud and turned your face to his.

"I told you I had no fucking idea where they were."

Loki simply passed you over to the other officer and headed to the door, frustrated and confused about his own work and internal feelings about what had just happened–both the realization that you had no idea where they were and that he had been aggressive to the point where it kind of turned him on.

"Detective!" He was halfway out the door when you called out to him and if he had a mind, he would have ignored you and continued on, but he was so flustered that he did.

"If you ever want to use those cuffs sometime, you know where to find me."

Loki didn't say anything, but his eyes wandered. From your face to your body to the floor and back up. It was an unashamed look that made the officer uncomfortable, but you couldn't help but let a small, sly smile grace your face at his look. This man would be the end of your criminal career if he managed to find the time to reunite with you again.

And he did. Two days after Keller Dover was found in a hole and on a holiday he knew you were not going to spend with your family.

#Detective Loki x Reader #Detective Loki x Female Reader #Prisoners #Prisoners 2013 #Jake Gyllenhaal x oc #Jake Gyllenhaal x Reader #David Loki x reader #David Loki x Female Reader #Detective Loki x fem reader #Detective Loki #fanfic #writer #x reader #x female reader #i imagine after the christmas trist reader does in fact serve time for theft. but we ignore that for now.

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hayleysayshay · 3 years

Text

On Wu’s backstory:

Wu is a character many people find annoying, but I enjoy. His backstory is vague at best. Here is what we know.

Wu is the grand nephew of Hou-Ting. He is the only heir to the throne.

At some point he moved to Republic City. Commentary implies that he was there doing a degree

At some point Mako was made his bodyguard. Commentary implies that Mako was his bodyguard for the three years.

The canon status of all commentary is debatable. As far as I see it, the show is true canon, the only reason we take the commentary as canon is because nothing contradicts it, but it is particularly substantial.

So, let’s analyse this backstory. This is all my personal opinion and headcanon and based upon what I find interesting and what fits Wu’s character as we see it in Book 4.

Was there a Royal Family massacre and is Wu traumatised?

We don’t see any other family members than Hou-Ting in Book 3. In Book 4, we are introduced to Wu, and only Wu. He is the heir to the throne.

At the end of book 3, Ba Sing Se falls to a the angry citizens of Ba Sing Se. We do see them enter the palace. They are seen looting and burning.

So, did this mob murder the rest of the Royal Family? Wu is the only heir. He is the grand nephew. This implies both his parents and grandparents are dead. What happened to them? They all must have died fairly young if Wu is the heir as a twenty something in Book 4.

I believe this is the basis of the ‘royal family massacre’ argument. Wu is too young to be the only heir to the throne. And the mob were angry. Therefore, the heirs above Wu were killed.

Now to be clear: the real reason Wu is a young heir is because Bryke wanted someone young for Mako to bounce off of. He’s around the same age as Mako but has a completely different life to him. Wu is not serious whereas Mako is. Wu is flippant and Mako is serious. Wu is extroverted and Mako is introverted. Wu is rich, Mako is not. This contrast is more fun if they’re the same age.

I say this because I think it’s clear that Wu was created with no clear trauma in mind. Wu does not act especially scared, or traumatised by the past. He is cautious and scared of hearing of Hou-Ting’s death, but acts in a comedic manner (fake strangling sounds) but then resumes a proper mourning action (may she rest in piece). Wu acts fairly silly throughout the series, enjoys the attention from fans, and even towards the end he creates a plan that he hopes will gain him attention from Korra. Wu is breezy and flippant and shallow, only really maturing towards the end and appears to be genuinely committed to dismantling the monarchy.

The trauma seen in fan works is a result of fan expansions, and personally I don’t really see it having a strong basis in the show. Wu is never really shown to be scared, or withdrawn at any points. Wu is never shown to be angry at the local populace who killed his family, as although Wu is shallow he never treats anyone badly. So is he masking? That’s totally up to your interpretation. Wu could be burying all his negative emotions and is acting out to hide his trauma. This is perfectly plausible. Personally, the lack of anger is what slightly damns this interpretation for me, I’m sure he’d show something.

Also I don’t think Wu not being fully prepared to take the throne is unreasonable— it makes sense if he was going to finish his education before starting public duties and gaining more political experience. And he could have made public experiences but still be fairly shallow. It’s implied that the Dai Li have a great degree of power so Wu not taking things that seriously or having a lot of experience is perfectly reasonable: it’s not needed for him to do so. So no, I don’t think Wu being the primary heir to the throne has to be sudden and unexpected because Wu isn’t very well prepared or serious.

How Old is Wu?

If you take the idea that he was in Republic City doing a degree when Hou-Ting was murdered, he could have been eighteen at the time, and twenty-one by the time of Book 4. He could be older. He could have started the degree at a younger age however, so he could even be nineteen at the start of Book 4.

If you ignore the idea that Wu was in Republic City prior to Book 3, and only came to Republic City to be safe after the Queen’s death, he could he even younger, potentially around eighteen in Book 4 if you HC him as young, but he could also still be older than Mako. Basically nothing confirmed, but I think it does depend on how seriously you take the commentary about the degree.

Have Wu and Mako worked together for three years?

This is going to be my strongest opinion, but I don’t think their relationship makes much sense if they’ve known eachother for three years.

I feel like this was meant to explain what Mako was doing for three years, but Mako doing his job as a detective was enough. So I don’t think it was needed.

In the episode where Wu’s coronation is ruined, Wu has a breakdown. Mako asks why he even wants to be King. He apologises, and Wu says that ‘no-one ever spoke to him like that’.

No-one has ever spoken to Wu like, even Mako. For three years? I don’t buy it. Mako is professional but he does talk back to Wu. Mako doesn’t think Wu is deserving of power just because he was born into it. I can’t believe Mako would his tongue on Wu for three years.

Also, I think Wu and Mako have a nice arc over Book 4. They get to know each-other more deeply. Mako sees the more mature side of Wu. I just don’t get the impression that they really knew each other that well beforehand, and I think you’d learn more about each other if you were together 24/7 for three years.

Obviously a lot of fan works expand on this and make the whole three years together thing make sense (by making them fuck usually and then having ensuing drama), but my critique is that I often think this over explains Wu’s character and ignores the very real shallowness Wu does show in early Book 4 by making It doesn’t meant I don’t love these fics, but I just don’t really ever reconcile them with the version of Wu we see in the show.

What I headcanon.

Again, this is literally just headcanon, and the events have no real confirmation in canon, it’s just what I think is both interesting and what I think matches with Wu’s characterisation in the show, whilst also giving him a backstory and more depth.

Wu’s grandparent and heir to the throne had one child, who became Wu’s father. This grandparent and heir dies. This grandparent dies young.

Wu’s parent’s were married. It was a political arrangement as Wu’s mother was from a rich family. Their marriage is strained. They have one child, Wu and don’t really talk to eachother much. Wu’s Dad dies young from partying too hard. Wu is left the only heir.

Wu’s mother remarries a wealthy baron or something. Because of not doing widowhood properly she is not welcome at the palace and moves away from Ba Sing Se. She and Wu have a strained relationship, since she never really wanted Wu in the first place. They sometimes exchange letters. (This could be swapped for his father and his mother was the heir but honestly I just wanted a strained relationship with a maternal figure. She got her happy ending but not with Wu).

Wu and Queen Hou-Ting have a very strained relationship as Hou Ting considers him weak, and despises animals which Wu loves.

Wu ends up with no real close familial relationship and is used to never really caring about anything. He is very isolated and is mostly raised by Dai-Li appointed carers.

At twenty ish Wu decides he wants out and asks to study in Republic City. The Queen is against this but Wu is insistent and she sees it as an excuse to get him out of her hair.

Wu moved to Republic City. After the fall of the walls, the Dai Li are in disarray as much of the leadership flees the city. Wu was previously appointed Dai Li bodyguards but Republic City officials replace them with city appointed bodyguards instead to maintain order. Unsure of how to proceed with Wu, Raiko and the other leaders agree that Wu shall complete his degree whilst Kuvira restores order. Wu is rarely included in meetings that decide the Earth Kingdom’s policy because they don’t like him and everyone just accepts he will be a King supported by his advisors and won’t rule himself.

Wu is of course horrified but he has a lack of personal stake in the death of his great aunt other than the realisation that he is now under a lot of pressure, which Wu mostly just ignores.

Wu completed his degree. After this, he begins to move into the public sphere and begins to make public appearances. Instead of a rotating team of bodyguards he requests a personal one, Mako, because he saw him a newspaper and thought he was hot really cool. This happens around six months before Republic City.

Mako treats Wu as a job, but the events of Book 4 eventually push them to become better friends and get to know eachother. Wu matures What happens next is either comics canon or my own ideas.

This is complete headcanon and I expect some people disagree! Hope it makes sense.

#wuko #Prince wu #mako #legend of korra #tlok #lok #avatar

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justlookingvm · 3 years

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Tessa Virtue’s leap from Figure Skating Olympic Champion to Executive MBA | Kneading Dough Canada

https://youtu.be/JAAkEDRFJ1A

Host: Vinay Virmani

T: If you’re going to build something, you need options in your life. I’ll say this especially as females, it’s important to be independent. To feel like you can be self-reliant and to take care of yourself.

[Intro presented by Tangerine]

V: Tessa, welcome to Kneading Dough Canada.

T: Thank you so much for having me.

V: It’s a pleasure. Kneading Dough Canada is a financial empowerment platform as you know, where we talk money, we talk mindset, we talk about financial lessons that you’ve learned along the way to hopefully inspire the next generation.

T: Well I’m so grateful to be on, I really appreciate it. I think it’s always refreshing to hopefully lend that female lens but also maybe that perspective from the amateur sport world too.

V: Yeah, you know Tessa you’ve accomplished so much, both in your personal and in your professional life. As an athlete you have achieved so many incredible honours, you’ve represented us, this country of Canada at the highest of international levels, but what I’m really excited about is you’re about to add another accomplishment in the form of three very special letters, MBA behind your name. Talk to me about that decision.

T: It’s been you know lingering in my mind for a long time. Education was always a priority in my household growing up in my family, and I thought about law school for quite some time and then I retired at 28 or 29 and thought maybe that’s too long (giggle) and realized also I wanted to flex a bit of a creative muscle. So this MBA program has been a dream of mine for quite some time. I want to be a student again in every sense of the word and I’m eager to learn the ins and outs of the business realm and that corporate sphere that I’ve had a unique perspective of, you know for 10 15 years, but if I’m going to take on a new role whatever that may be then I really want to feel like I’ve adopted that rookie mindset once again, and earned my stripes, I’ve gotten the credibility to to deserve a place there.

V: I want to take it to the world of figure skating though, because the world of figure skating is so glamorous as a sport. You know

T: I wasn’t sure where that sentence was going to land. It could have gone so many directions.

V: I I’m so like fascinated by the world of figure skating because the glamour, the imagination, the costumes, the drama, the whole production value. It looks so beautiful and elegant, but behind it there’s also rigorous routine, training and it’s not cheap.

T: Uh huh

V: So growing up, dd you have those conversations with your family and did you understand the investment that it was taking to sort of put you through the highest levels of figure skating.

T: The 2 things that my parents were always wiling to invest in or prioritize were education and sport. And it was important to them that we were exposed to as much as we could be. I’m the youngest of four. You know I’m of two minds because on one hand I do believe they tried to shield me from the burden of that sacrifice, that they made for all kids and for you know all of these adventures. But I was also keenly aware of it. I knew the the toll and I knew the cost and um you know I felt that responsibility…

V: Was there anything that you remember early on where there was an incident or a moment where you were like, I recognize like you talked about the toll.

T: My parents were so conscious to ensure that I wasn’t carrying that weight, and yet I moved away from home when I was 13 and I was kind of budgeting at that age for groceries and 7-eleven runs (laughs), whatever it is that a 13 year old needs. Taking taxis everywhere and I made a decision when I was 15 um to be able to do it on my own. My mom was always quick to say you know you have to look after yourself and you always have to make your own way and she was all about sort of creating that sense of security and freedom, so that I had options.

To be honest I had a tumultuous relationship with my father when I was a teen and I think it was just a decision, at that point. I didn’t feel right.

V: Yeah

T: I didn’t feel right accepting that kind of support anymore um and maybe it was a bit of pride you know, not wanting to

V: You don’t want to be dependent on anybody.

T: Totally. Yeah, and that’s not to say that I’m not aware of the privilege that I had growing up to have those opportunities. It was just a real marker of OK, if this is the path I’m choosing, um and I really need to make sure that I can I can do it on my own or in a way that really isn’t such a burden.

V: You know talking to you today has reinforced independence. You know being independent, not being dependent and and just being self-sufficient. And how gratifying that is, you know I think a lot of people, especially as you said, I hope a lot of young women watch this show and and really listen to your advice. And the fact that you took that decision at such an early age.

T: You know it’s interesting I found old journals not too long ago, and there was a page in one and I don’t know, judging by my handwriting I might have been 12? 11 or 12? And I had written my goals and that were, you know the to win the Olympics, be on Oprah, which I’ll settle for uninterrupted and Kneading Dough, uh buy a cottage, like buy a family cottage

V: Right

T: And at 12 that was on my mind and the feeling of walking into this cottage that my mom and I were able to dream of and then buy together, is so visceral and it’s it’s so much about, like I think back to being young and maybe not having, especially for her like that sense of security and and just really feeling like that can be a safe place now. Um so again it’s more of the representation of that.

V: I’ve heard you say something that has really resonated with me always because it’s something that I believe in. That the highs are so much better when you’ve experienced the lows. And obviously Scott Moir and yourself accomplished so many great things together. Something that I always try to tell the younger generation is, sometimes you have to just sit back celebrate your failures.

T: Well we learned to embrace it by making it part of our process, in that, not only did we anticipate failure and expect it and embrace it, well, we practiced it. So we learned to fall on demand, get back up, refocus, and

V: OK

T: be back into our program still trying to amalgamate as many points as possible.

V: You know I remember once um I must have been in grade school and I and I failed a few subjects. I was never a good student.

T: OK

V: And you know we didn’t have a lot of money at the time and I remember my my dad, I was really afraid to tell him that you know I’ve failed these courses and blah blah blah, but he said to the family, he said, alright everybody get ready we’re going for dinner. And we went to this restaurant that was only saved for like birthdays or anniversaries. And so we get there and he’s ordering all these great things on the menu and I’m like “dad, I don’t think you heard me like I failed, like I failed and here you are taking it t the restaurant.” And I remember he looked at me and he said “You know I want you to celebrate this failure. I want you to take it in because if you’re winning all the time, you’re not going to learn anything.”

T: Wow, and obviously that stayed with you

V: Oh yeah, you’re always going to learn so much more from the losses.

This next set of questions is called the two cents round, so you can’t overthink these things.

Tessa, we all know about your discipline but what do you splurge on?

T: Clothes

V: Clothes, OK, all right. What part of your budget are you working on lowering?

T: Clothes (big laugh). Actually not really because I will say, it’s more what it represents like part of that is like my I love it and it’s become also intertwined with my career and my brand if you will. Um

V: Its an investment in yourself.

T: I think so, that’s how I twist it

V: So, what is us the best financial decision you’ve made so far?

T: Hire the right people

V: Building the right team around you.

T: Yeah absolutely.

V: Describe your financial persona in just one word.

T: I want to say careful?

V: Careful.

T: Careful in that I’m strategic

V: I like that, OK

T: But I’m willing to have some fun.

V: OK, all right. Tessa if you could run any business, what would it be?

T: My own.

V: Your own. OK. All right I’m not going to push you more. [Tessa laughs]. They say patience is a virtue, how long did your first paycheck last?

T: I mean I spent my whole career basically operating at a deficit, so everything went back into training. I worked towards certain things and the you know I was really fortunate to get some funding and bursary grants, and then eventually sponsors and um was able to build this little nest egg, but mostly it went right back into training.

V: Tessa, this year we’ve been having such important and meaningful conversations about women in sport. And you know of course there’s such a long way to go for those conversations really to achieve equality, but as somebody who’s such a big advocate for women’s empowerment in sport, how do you feel that you want to lend your voice to those conversations?

T: I think, currently the biggest impact I feel I can have is really connecting with those young female athletes at that precipice of maybe dropping out um for all the heart breaking reasons that we’re learning about through research. Whether that is you know body image, or lack of self-confidence, lack of self-worth, it’s just not good enough. Like the access to resources, there are opportunities, um I think those conversations are really important and that’s where I’ve been feeling most fulfilled, when I’m able to connect with those athletes and you know I’ve been able to benefit from all of the lessons and the opportunities that sport has lended it uh to my life. And I just so want that for other female athletes. And you know we’re seeing that there are more mentors, more representation, more access to viewing these formidable female athletes, and I hope that resonates.

V: Tessa, we’ve uh had the opportunity to work on a few branded campaigns together. There’s this Tessa grace, and there’s this element of everything being held to a certain standard. In everything that you do, especially things that are public facing. Talk to me a bit about that.

T: I hate the word brand but I’m going to say it, my brand has been

V: I mean you definitely have a very strong brand

T: Well it’s been built on the very foundation of me and my personality and if those values aren’t upheld in every sense of you know the word, then I’m I’m not useful to anyone. Then I’m then no brand would want to hire me, um because it if it gets diluted, then I then I just think um it’s losing the very essence of what resonates with people. And I’m really careful about that like I only partner and pair with brands that I would authentically stand behind and feel really good about promoting.

V: I love that

T: And I’m conscious of where I lend my voice and my likeness, a very clear mission statement, and you know I love to be hands on but that’s where like the creative fulfilment comes in

V: Right

T: And honestly that’s where the most successful engagement also comes. If I’m involved and it’s a collaborative process, um it’s much more successful for the brand too.

V: You know, over this past year, there’s been such a strong connection to mental health and financial wellness. Many Canadians have a very high debt to income ratio, which can be very stressful. For you, how do you protect not only your mental health, but when it comes to financial wellness. How do you really protect your sanity?

T: As an amateur athlete I grappled with that um day after day. I think it’s important to find purpose in saving and planning. So, you know my mom started those conversations with me when I was young but that was all to sort of plant the seed of like you need to plan for this. And if you’re going to build something you need options in your life. For me you know it’s helped having a corporation for example, because a lot of my money is tied up there and it it’s great um but, it’s also made me very careful and strategic in how I spend it.

V: What is your one big piece of financial advice to all young women out there?

T: Surround yourself with the right people and set yourself up for independence.

V: I love that. Financial freedom.

T: Financial freedom.

#Tessa Interview: Kneading Dough

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shellyb04 · 3 years

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And here we are, all caught up. You'll notice I fell into a bit of a Chinese drama and historical hole for these last ones! I will try to post as I finish shows so I can give a bit more of a review. Enjoy!

A love so romantic (Cdrama)-Girl pretends to be a long lost granddaughter of the Gu family and falls for the Gu family heir. 8/10 Very funny. The last ten episodes get a bit annoying with dumb amnesia and such, but overall really funny main couple.

The Greatest Love (Kdrama)-An A-list movie star with a heart condition meets former girl group member and now most disliked celebrity. Against all odds, he falls for her. 9/10 This is extremely funny and a bit tropey, but it gets major bonus points for the ending. There's no crazy amnesia or unreasonable misunderstandings. Their dilemma at the end makes sense and wasn't dragged out for too long. There was a bit in the middle where she was trying to reject him that dragged for me and I didn't like the other girl group members very much. But overall, really fun.

The Rebel Princess (Cdrama)-A princess is forced to marry a general turned prince instead of her childhood sweetheart prince. They ultimately fall for each other and endure war, kidnapping, betrayal, and every other kind of misfortune that can happen in a historical drama. 9/10 This drama was refreshing because the couple was so amazing together. They were kind as well as cunning. They were the only characters not seeking power and I just loved the way they worked. It does get a little draggy during some of the palace politics. I also think some of the villians didn't think through their plans. But overall, the leads made the show. Although there are some genuinely heartbreaking moments and too many women committing suicide.

Love Script (Cdrama)- A CEO gets into an accident and believes he's a Prince from the Ming Dynasty. A psychologist is hired and she becomes part of the palace staff in order to treat him. But she begins to fall for him. 8/10 I liked all the characters. It's a really light show and there's a couple of plot twists that ultimately made the lead romance work for me. There were a few too many flashbacks and I found myself skipping through them a lot.

A Girl Like Me (Cdrama)- Ban Hua has three failed engagements, partially because of her blunt manner and explosive temper. She begins getting visions of the future and uses them to save her family from trouble, along with Rong Xia who has his own agenda...but will he be distracted by Ban Hua!? 8.5/10 I really liked this one. The story moved along rather quickly. I love that the Ban family are perfectly happy in their little sphere of life. They adore each other and simply want their family to be happy. The only real negatives are that I don't think some of the villain plots made sense especially toward the end and I thought the last two episodes should have wrapped up the story not made more characters power hungry and foolish. Overall, I really liked it, especially Ban Hua and Rong Xia's banter and courtship.

My little happiness (Cdrama)-An intern lawyer and a successful neurosurgeon who were childhood sweethearts meet again as adults only she never knew his name. Watch the duo fall in love. 8/10 This is a pleasant little ditty with no big problems. The relationship between the main girl and her best friend feels super real to me. I love both main couples. It's a simple sweet sappy love story. There's never any doubt how it will end so just enjoy the sweetness.

Oh! My Sweet Liar! (Cdrama)-Historical- A female painter infiltrates the home of a noble family to paint a copy of a precious item. When her escape goes wrong, she fakes a pregnancy by the family heir to save her life. They make a contract marriage so he can escape an arranged marriage he doesn't want. But there are secrets and plotting people throughout the family home. 8.5/10 I really liked the majority of the show. It was a bit slow the second arc of the show and really the last three eps could have been a bit more streamlined, but I loved the Li family. It was so nice to see the love between the family.

Shopaholic Louis (Kdrama)- A wealthy heir gets amnesia and is found by a poor country girl newly arrived in Seoul to look for her brother. The two fall for each other while searching together. 8.5/10 Super cute. I loved the main couple the whole way through. The side characters grew on me as well. It was a nice sweet story overall.

Love in Time-Cdrama- Writer and a CEO were friends in Jr high but had a falling out. Present day they enter a contract marriage. 8/10 A point bump for 30 minute episodes. The story was sweet and simple with a few pleasant turns. The last episode is a bit dumb. I would've rather just had more epilogue than a faked amnesia plot. I liked the side friendships, but wish the "villain" had a better motivation. Just " I loved him and worked hard for him so he should be mine" obsession got old. The tropes were in full display so avoid if you hate those.

Love and Destiny-Cdrama- A young immortal wanders into the wrong place and awakens the God of War. He discovers a secret about her even she doesn't know. The two fall in love, but bad things happen. Can they overcome destiny with love? 7/10- This one seemed to be a bit long at 60 episodes and it took WAY too long to get started. But by episode 14 or 15 I was completely into the love story and most of the side characters. The two "villains" were annoying but ultimately I understood their choices even if I felt they were immature. Overall, it's good, but a little too slow in some places and the last ten episodes could have given me some more couple moments.

Divorce lawyer in love (Kdrama)- She's a tough as nails divorce lawyer and he's her office manager until she goes to far in a case and her license is suspended. Three years later she's the office manager and he's the lawyer and he sees his chance for some payback.. Enemies to friends to lovers. 8/10 It has its funny moments. I enjoy most of the "case of the week" stories. I thought the resolution to the main antagonist was a bit hand wavy, but overall, solid and enjoyable with mostly fun side characters.

The Sword and the Brocade (Cdrama)- A concubine's daughter marries a Marquis in an arranged marriage. She has to deal with conniving concubines, controlling mother and mother-in-law, as well as a family that doesn't want her around, and a rival family all while trying to continue her embroidery career. 7.5/10 Started out fairly strong but toward the end it felt really drawn out. I feel like the last two plots should have been more combined cause it really dragged the pace of the show down. The characters were good. I liked most of the characters a lot, but a few began to make weird decisions toward the end.

The Eternal Love (Cdrama)- Modern woman sucked to alternate past where she has to share her doppelganger's body. The two with the help of their maid try to figure out what's going on. But things are complicated as each soul is in love with a different prince.,-6/10 The story is okay, although the last four episodes are weird. Chemistry with the leads is fabulous. Really not great production quality. I couldn't get through Season 2.

Eternal Love/Ten Miles of Peach Blossom (Cdrama)- Bai Qian and Ye Hua are star crossed immortals who fall in love in three different but intertwined lives. 9.5/10 Started off slow, then got wonderful about ep 10, then pain and misery for a few eps before back to joy and falling in love and back to pain. But one of the best revenge scenes by Bai Qian! I sort of hated that basically every other couple seems doomed. I tried to watch the pillow book before this and just got bored. I may go back to it someday as I love that couple.

General's Lady (Cdrama)- independent noble sent to marry the "demon" general at the border only to fall in love with him. However there are factions trying to harm them. 9/10 Super light and sweet with lots of kisses. I got a bit bored a little past the middle of the drama when they went back to the capital. But the last several episodes brought me back around and I laughed out loud multiple times. Love all the couples throughout and how it showed there were multiple ways to be a strong woman.

#kdrama #cdrama #A love so romantic #The greatest love #the rebel princess #Love script #A girl like me #My little happiness #Oh! My sweet Liar!#shopaholic louis #love in time #love and destiny #divorce lawyer in love #the sword and the brocade #the eternal love #tmopb #eternal love #General's Lady

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tenspontaneite · 3 years

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Beyond the Moon Gardens - Extracts (1)

For lack of anything else to post today, I’m releasing some extracts from one of my non-public fanfictions – Beyond the Moon Gardens – as my participation in the @raayllum valentine’s event.

Information on and context of the story itself is below the cut. The 10k of snippets are also below the cut.

(General overview of the content of the snippets: established rayllum, fluff, domesticity, horn care, silliness, cuddling.)

Story information:

‘Beyond the Moon Gardens’ is a successor to ‘In the Moon Gardens’. The former was written in a month in late 2020, and has been worked on sporadically since. The latter was written in approximately three weeks between December 2019 and January 2020. Both are currently incomplete. I do not intend to publish either to the public in full, but may well post further extracts in time.

‘In the Moon Gardens’ is a story about Callum and Rayla getting married; however, the circumstances are deeply unpleasant and the experience is traumatic. ‘Beyond the Moon Gardens’ is considerably longer, and is focused on trauma recovery, hurt/comfort, relationship development, and fluff. The story is structured around a plotline involving rescue and disaster relief efforts in a Sunfire elf city called Lux Marea.

All snippets presented below take place on day 7 of the story’s timeline. They have been carefully curated for fluffiness for the purposes of Valentine’s day, and do not contain any of the hurt/comfort or post-traumatic scenes prevalent in the story at large. Some extracts have been edited to slot together and minimise empty space.

I may potentially post further snippets throughout the week if people are interested.

The extracts:

(Snippet 1: domesticity, fluff, city descriptions. Context: Callum and Rayla are staying in fancy diplomatic quarters in the city, where they arrived somewhat earlier in the day.)

Rayla turned away from her reflection and went for the door.

She glanced around, and found Callum in his own robe sat at the sofa in front of the window. Surprisingly, he wasn’t drawing. He was just staring out across the city, looking pensive.

“Not drawing?” She asked, and he startled, looking up at her in surprise.

He blinked. “Oh. I didn’t hear you.” He said sheepishly as she approached.

She snorted, and moved around the sofa’s edge to plant herself down beside him. “So I noticed.”

Callum smiled at her, looking for all the world like the best thing that had happened to him today was her sitting down next to him, eyes settling on her like he’d be perfectly happy to do nothing but look at her forever. She withstood that expression for only a single second before she had to lean in and kiss him. He made a pleased sound, reaching out to rest a hand on her back, fingers stroking reflexively over the thick wool of the robe. “You smell nice.” He said happily, turning his face sideways to tuck his nose behind her ear. He was undoubtedly getting a face full of wet hair that way, but he didn’t seem to mind. “Fruity, sort of.”

“They’ve got a lot of soaps in there.” She said, and her voice came out more soft than amused. Stars, but she loved him. “It’s nice. There’s all these soaps, and towels, and I think bath oils too.”

“You think?” He inquired, curious, still with his face in her neck. He pressed a kiss to her damp skin.

“Didn’t check them out properly or anything, but there was a drawer full of some fancy stuff. Bottles and the like. Looked like it might be bath oils.”

With a final kiss to the edge of her jaw, he pulled back to resume staring at her contentedly. “We’ll have to have a look later.” He said, and paused to give her an appreciative once-over. “That dressing gown looks nice on you.”

She rolled her eyes. “You say that about literally everything I wear.”

“That’s because you look good in everything.” He claimed staunchly, and honestly, he wasn’t looking half-bad in his dressing-gown either. The colour was familiar on him, but the casual comfortableness of it was weirdly pleasing to look at. Made him look cosy and cuddlable.

Rayla shook her head, then leaned in to kiss briefly along his jaw. It prickled a little. “You might want to see if they’ve got razors in there.” She said dryly. “You’re starting to prickle.”

He blinked, startled, and raised a hand to his jaw, feeling along it. Mercifully, he grew facial hair extremely slowly, making it less of an issue on the move, but it did still grow. He’d last made an attempt at shaving some two weeks ago, and that had sufficed up to now. “Elves don’t grow beards, though.” He said, after a moment. “I’d probably better just stick with mine.”

Once or twice, they’d made an attempt at shaving his bristles with Rayla’s swords, which had been kind of nerve-wracking, and plenty memorable. For lack of proper razors to be found in Xadia, they’d eventually ended up getting him a small knife that he claimed was alike enough to a ‘straight razor’ to work, though it periodically needed to be sharpened to an absurd degree. It was all very strange to her, even after a good half year of living with him. “Maybe.” She agreed at last, and gave him a sniff. Fresh from bathing, his state of uncleanliness was far more obvious to her nose than it had been before. “You should be getting washed up first though. You’ll make your dressing gown stink.”

He snickered. “Bet I reek to you now that you’re clean.”

“Just a tad.” She prodded him in the side until he started moving. “Off with you. Wash up.”

Evading her hands, he leaned in and planted a final kiss on her forehead before leaving, disappearing into the bathroom while she shook her head at him. She heard the water start up quite soon after, and eventually ended up staring out of the window like he had.

The city was still bright, both with sunlight and with the ongoing glory of the temple’s radiance. Settling into a sort of quiet lassitude, she watched it with eyes half-lidded, following the patterns of steaming light as though the smoke from a fire.

It was a striking city. Unlike Lux Aurea, which was so much gold it hurt to look at, Lux Marea was a thing of contrasts. The buildings were all built from the same dark stone as the bathroom had been done in, a grey that cast deep black shadows behind the gaze of the sun. And yet – every building was lined with gold. Accents on the corners, or moulding between the bricks, or running in thick channels up the walls…it gleamed, rich and distinct against the stone. Some of the largest, richest buildings had elaborate golden murals on their sides, luridly metallic and shining in the sun. All of that gold was glowing with magic now.

Rayla wasn’t much for aesthetics. But even she could appreciate the beauty in that view. She watched it for a while longer, lulled a little by the twisting patterns of glowing haze rising from the buildings, then stood and went to find something to do.

(Snippet 2: Calum and Rayla investigate the supplies their fancy bathroom is stocked with, discover bath bombs and are confused, Rayla points out various horn-care items, and Callum makes her very flustered by offering to use said items)

After that, they went through and classified each of the mysterious drawer goodies a little faster. They found more varieties of lotion, some weird nearly liquid soaps, and a pot of some mysterious mini chalky spheres whose purpose neither of them managed to guess until Callum’s hair dripped on one and it sizzled. “Is it supposed to go in water?” Rayla wondered, befuddled.

“No idea. Try it.” He suggested, and they took the rinsing pot, filled it with water, and dropped the thing in. It fizzed and foamed magnificently, releasing pleasant odours and bits of dried flower as it dissolved, and both of them stared at it with fascinated consternation.

“Is that for baths?” She asked him, befuddled. “What’s the point?”

“…Fun, maybe?” He offered, reaching out to swirl a finger in the foam. “It looked pretty cool, after all. Maybe you’re supposed to throw them in the bath for the fun of it?”

“Fun foam and nice smells?” With a huff, she put that pot aside as something to maybe experiment with if she felt like it. “Well, maybe.” She snorted, and in the last unexplored corner, found something highly important. “Oh thank god.” She said, in that way she’d absolutely picked up from Callum, and he looked over with interest.

“What did you find?”

She brandished it triumphantly. “Toothbrushes.”

“Oh thank god.” He echoed instantly, peering over. “My teeth feel disgusting.”

“You’re not the only one.” She withdrew both toothbrushes from the drawer and set them aside. “Well, at least we know what everything in there is now. Mystery solved.” She went to close it, but was stopped with a hand on her wrist.

“Wait, but what about those?” he asked, indicating the small collection of things she’d already set to one side of the drawer with the horn-scrub.

“Oh.” She’d forgotten he wouldn’t know those on sight. “Right. Well, this thing here-“ She plucked up a narrow, vaguely curved implement with a soft-smooth coating. “-is a horn buffer. For making horns smoother once you’ve already scrubbed all the rough bits out with a proper scrub.” She planted it in his hands, since he seemed fascinated by it, and withdrew a sort of soft spongey thing with a texture like felt. “Horn polisher. Same thing, kind of.” He took that as well, and she pulled out a pot of thick paste that turned out to be exactly what she thought it was when she uncapped it. This one had obviously attempted to smell as pleasant as possible, but it still had a very strong and distinctive edge to it. She wrinkled her nose. “Horn polish.” She said, closing it up again. “To be applied and used with the polisher. And lastly-“ She picked up one of the remaining bottles, “horn oil.”

He looked weirdly interested. “What’s the oil for?” He asked, leaning in. “I mean, I guess the rest of it’s to make your horns smooth and shiny, right? So what about this?”

“It’s kind of fancy and unnecessary, and expensive, so not everyone uses it, but usually you put it on after scrubbing or polishing.” She explained, withdrawing the bottles one at a time. “They smell nice, which is good after the polish, and letting it sink into the horns is supposed to make them healthier and glossier-looking. You can technically put it on multiple times a day if you’re really into your horn presentation, but pretty much no one bothers.”

“Because it’s expensive?” Callum guessed, and she made a so-so noise.

“Well, there’s that.” She said dryly. “But it’s just kind of a lot of hassle, you know? If you’re already washing and doing your hair and keeping your horns not-gross, it’s just extra fuss you don’t really need.” She shook her head. “It’s less effort than full on polishing, I suppose, but I’ve never been bothered about polishing my horns except on special occasions anyway. It’s a lot of work.”

“Huh.” He said, in a sort of weird tone of voice. Rayla turned to him, and found his expression similarly strange. Thoughtful, interested, and a little bit furtive.

She eyed him suspiciously, picked up an armful of the supplies they’d set aside, and stood up with them. “What’s that look for?” She asked archly, setting things onto the broad side of the bath. He followed her lead, picking up the rest of it and standing, looking a little shifty.

“What’s what look for?” he asked innocently, putting it all out in neat rows.

“I know that face.” She told him, unimpressed. “I’ve told you so many times I know that face. That’s your dumb idea face. So out with it.”

For a moment, Callum looked sheepish. Then he cleared his throat, and looked at her, and she reflexively fell silent. “I…was wondering if you’d let me do your horns.” He said at last, and she made a strangled noise in the back of her throat.

“What?”

(Snippet 3: tail end of the horn-care discussion, domesticity, Rayla bemused by the concept of room service, Callum pestering Rayla for details on how horn care works, and discussion of one of Rayla’s newer hobbies)

“That’ll be nice, then.” He said, sounding very at peace with the idea. “I can wash and comb out your hair, maybe. Give you some hornrubs.”

Her cheeks heated. “Callum.” She complained. “That’s so sappy.”

He pressed his face close alongside hers, and she could feel his smile against her cheek. “Treat you real good.” He said, very contentedly. “I’m gonna spoil you rotten.”

Rayla managed a strangled, deeply embarrassed sound in the back of her throat. A little indignant, she protested “You can’t just say things like that.”

“I can, and I did.” Callum grinned against her skin, and leaned in further to kiss her near the corner of her lips. “Love you.” He lifted a hand from around her waist, fingers settling at her jaw with a gentle suggestion of movement. Feeling near to bursting with mortification and adoration, she grumbled wordlessly but followed his hand, allowing him to lead her face around so he could kiss her on the mouth.

“You,” she muttered, into his lips, “need to get dressed.”

He paused, then huffed a surprised breath over her skin. “That’s right, I’m still just wearing a towel.” He remembered, ruefully. “At least I’m drier now.”

“It’s been ages, of course you’re drier.” Rayla shook her head at him, then nudged at his arms until he let her go, extricating herself from his embrace. She had difficulty looking him in the eye when she turned, after all of that. “…Get dressed.” She repeated, softer, and shoved the dressing gown he’d hung nearby into his arms. She leaned in, kissed him once on the lips, and then turned away to leave the bathroom.

She settled on the sofa, ensconcing herself beneath the soft blanket she’d found, and stared out at the city while her heart recovered. Sometimes, she loved Callum enough that it was a little hard to cope with, like she was afraid that the emotion in her would rupture if it built too far. He was used to her retreating a little at times like that, just long enough to breathe and feel slightly less overwhelmed.

He took long enough in the bathroom that, eventually, she guessed that he was shaving. That disappointed her, a little. She liked to watch him when he shaved. It was always so strange to her, something quintessentially human; a bizarre banal grooming ritual that reminded her again and again that he wasn’t an elf, he really was a whole different kind of being to her, and his humanity was made of so many little things. He never failed to chuckle at her for how she watched him shaving, but had grown very used to her keeping him company for it.

She sighed, and looked out on the city under the sun, and regained her emotional footing. By the time he emerged, clad once again in the dark red dressing gown, she had her equilibrium back and looked up gladly at his return.

“Where’d this blanket come from?” He asked, bemused, coming over to join her. She held one end up so he could sit down under it with her.

“One of the drawers. There’s a bunch of stuff in here.” She informed, and once he was seated she didn’t waste any time in reaching out to run her fingers along his still-damp jaw. It was so smooth. She murmured, pleased, cupping his face between both hands.

He coloured a little, looking across at her with soft eyes. “You’re so weird.” He told her, sounding utterly besotted, and she leaned in to kiss him lightly along that jawline.

“Love you.” Rayla said contentedly, and drew back just enough to nestle firmly against his side. He wove an arm around her back and turned his head to kiss her at the brow.

“Love you too.”

After a good bit of cuddling and watching the city together, Callum admitted to wanting a drink and Rayla to not knowing whether their waterskins were still filled. They were, as it happened, but-

“You know, if you wanted fresher water, or moonberry juice, we could just ask for it.” He pointed out. “All we’d have to do is open the door and ring a bell and someone would come up, and we’d ask for a drink, and they’d have it up for us just like that.”

She shook her head, utterly exasperated at the idea. “That’s so weird.” She said, and then actually considered it. “…Let’s do it.”

He laughed, and obligingly got up and went to the receiving room to fetch the bell. He mostly-closed the intervening door for her sake, so that when a servant responded to the ring she didn’t feel particularly on edge about it. They couldn’t see her. It was fine.

After a short conversation with the servant, they were off, and Callum shut the outer door before returning. “Five minutes.” He said, and true to his words, there was a knock at the door not too much later. He went to answer it and brought back an actual platter, balancing an entire jug of moonberry juice, an entire jug of water, and two glasses.

“Did you ask for a whole jug?” She asked, disbelievingly, as he set it down on the low table ahead of the sofa. “Or the water?”

“Nope. Actually, they passed along their apologies for not leaving a jug of water in here in the first place. Apparently that’s their usual thing to do, but since they were hurrying for us it got forgot.” He poured her a glass of juice, and then some for himself, and sat back.

She snorted. “What a terrible standard of service.” She said, mockingly. “I mean really, forgetting to leave us wee little glasses and chilled water, what is this place coming to?”

He snickered at an inopportune moment, very nearly making a mess with the glass he’d been in the process of drinking from. “Don’t say that around Vervain, I think she’d actually explode.”

“Right there on the spot.” Rayla agreed. “It’d make a terrible mess.”

They traded a few light-hearted quips on the subject of the accommodations while they had a drink, then they set it all aside for later. Callum, who was clearly angling for it, managed to get her onto the topic of how exactly a proper horn care-and-polish was supposed to go, and she spent pretty much the entirety of that torn between being increasingly embarrassed and increasingly amused. He was so interested, like she was sharing arcane magical knowledge instead of stupid basic grooming tips.

“I mean, I’ve seen you using your horn-scrub on the road sometimes, to file away rough or flaky bits, right?” He was saying, while she leaned over to lay against his chest. He reflexively put an arm around her even while gesturing with the other one. “You kind of go…with the sort of curvy lines in your horns? Like one at a time?”

“They’re called ridges, Callum.” She informed him, incredibly amused. “And yes. You need to file along them all one by one, and be careful to keep the shape too. If you do it badly you’ll flatten out the tops of the ridges and it looks really stupid.”

He stared down at her horns with fascination, and lowered his gesturing hand to trace the shape of – she presumed – one of her horn-ridges in detail. She made a flustered sort of murmur at him, but he seemed too busy to notice. “Right, so, hm.” He almost seemed to be speaking to himself. “Yeah, if you just file it from the top it’d all flatten out. So you have to sort of work around each one? Following the curve?”

“That’s why Moonshadow horn-scrubs are so much more complicated.” She informed him. “We need the wee fiddly parts to get between all the ridges and file it right without losing the shapes. Takes forever. Our horns are more of a pain than almost any other kind of elf’s.” She grinned up at him. “Unlucky for you.”

“Are you kidding?” He asked, incredulously. “This is great. Means I get so much longer to spend on you. You never let me spoil you enough.”

She processed that, and groaned, burrowing her face into the wool gown over his chest. “You’ll change your tune soon enough.” She muttered, but wasn’t entirely convinced. Callum really was an incredible sap when it came to doing things for her. “It takes so stupidly long.”

“I’m counting on it.” He declared happily, and she huffed.

“You’re ridiculous.” She informed him, and after nearly ten more minutes of him trying to wrangle intricately detailed horn-polishing knowledge out of her, just rolled her eyes and said with exasperation “It’s like polishing armour, Callum. Or boots. You just buff it up, then go at it with polish on the polisher for ages. There’s not much of a trick to it.” She paused, but did add “Gets kind of messy though. The filing stage puts horn dust and bits everywhere, and once you start polishing you get like…murky polish liquid all over your hands. Better put a towel down.”

Eventually, after enough sitting around that the cuddling alone wasn’t engrossing enough anymore, Callum did go and get his sketchbook and immediately sat down to begin producing what Rayla was certain would be the first of many, many drawings of the city. He drew it as seen from above first, and Rayla settled in to watch with half-lidded eyes.

She’d grown very used to spending time watching Callum draw. In large part, this was because he tended to spend a lot of his free time doing it, and she was often around when that happened. It was quite satisfying, to sit there and observe as the shapes on the page took form. But even so…

There was only so much of watching him draw that she could do before she started getting bored. Throughout their journeying, it had rarely got to that point. What with the time constraints of camp-craft and travelling, there’d been little enough spare time that Rayla hadn’t felt compelled to find anything else to do. Now, though, she found with surprise that her fingers were itching for her knives.

“Huh.” She said to herself, with interest, and Callum turned his head to peer at her.

“Hm?”

“My knives.” She said, and then realised this wasn’t especially helpful. “My carving knives. Just realised I’m hankering for them a bit. That’s never really happened before.”

“Oh.” He thought, then looked pleased. “Looks like you’re starting to make a habit of it after all. That’s really nice.”

“Less nice when I don’t actually have the knives.” She snorted, and considered her empty hands.

Rayla, on the whole, tended towards active ways of passing the time. She liked to train, and she liked to exercise, and if Callum was free she always liked to go flying with him. But inevitably, after half a year spent together, there had been plenty of afternoons and evenings in their off-time when she was too tired to go out for training, or Callum was spending time drawing and she wanted to be around him, and she ended up with nothing to do.

He’d been the one to gently pester her into taking up some sort of hobby. At first she’d just grumpily sharpened her weapons over and over again, but with enough work he’d got her to try other things. He’d suggested either knitting or whittling, on the basis that both involved the use of stabby implements, and she was a fan of those. Knitting she hadn’t taken to. But whittling…

At first, she’d just done it because he’d prodded her into it, and she didn’t hate it, and there was nothing better to do, so she might as well. But now, considering her empty hands with consternation, Rayla realised for the first time that she actually kind of wanted to be doing it. When had that happened?

He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Pick up some things in the city tomorrow, maybe.” He suggested, and turned back to his drawing.

“Bit of a waste, when I’ve got a plenty good enough set of knives at home.”

“You don’t need to get a full set. But it could be nice to have a couple of the main ones around, for travelling with.” He shrugged. “You can practice on any random bits of wood, right? So it’s mainly the knives you need.”

She snorted. She’d learned enough to know that the type of wood one chose was, in fact, very important. But…yeah, for messing around like she did, random wood was usually fine. If splintery. “Maybe.” She said in the end, already thinking of the knife she used most. “It’s not a bad idea. Clothes and supplies are the priority, though. So maybe if there’s anything left after that.”

“We’ll need cold-weather gear, if we’re going through the Shiverthorns in winter.” He remarked, and huddled into the blanket like the mere thought was making him cold. “Thick cloaks and stuff.”

“Which are expensive.” She reminded. “And also heavy. It’ll slow you down.”

He shrugged. “I figure that’s okay. We won’t be in a huge hurry to get back, after all.”

(Snippet 4: Callum and Rayla discuss dinner options, watch the sunset, and investigate the light fixtures. Context: in this story, I worldbuild Sunfire elves as some weird blend of French and Roman.)

He hummed by way of agreement, and pulled her tighter in to his side. “For now, let’s try not to worry about that.” He said, determinedly. “Today our job is to relax and rest up, and that’s it.”

Rayla sighed, and shifted around to lay part-way across his front, face half into the red wool at his chest. “I can probably do that.”

They cuddled for what actually didn’t end up being that long, because there was a knock at the door. It echoed sharply through the polished wood, even with the intervening door closed. Rayla, who’d heard no footsteps of any kind due to the ostensible soundproofing, stiffened immediately.

Callum blinked, then carefully extricated himself from her. “I’ll go get it.” He said, and she didn’t object. She didn’t relish the thought of being seen by strangers when she was in her bathrobe. That was private.

He unlocked and opened the receiving room door, closed it behind him, and then unlocked and opened the outer door. There was actually a decent degree of sound loss between there and Rayla’s current spot, so she couldn’t hear what was being said beyond stray words. After a while, Callum said something in a distinctly goodbye-ish sort of voice and the encounter ended. He considerately locked both doors for her on his way in.

Over his arm, he was holding a neat stack of clothing and armour. “Already?” She asked, startled, and watched as he set it all down on the bed.

“Already.” He agreed, seemingly pleased. “I guess their drying spells really are useful. Look, they’ve cleaned your armour. And our boots.”

Rayla lifted herself from beneath the blanket to go over and look. All of their things looked fresh and new, bereft of the dull beige hues imbued by travel and sleeping in dust and dirt. It half looked like they’d re-dyed some of it, honestly, to get the clean colours back. She lifted Callum’s scarf from the pile, sniffed it, and hummed at it.

“Laundry smell?” He asked, amused, and she shrugged.

“Unsurprisingly.” She considered putting it on him, but in the end decided she was enjoying the look of him in the bathrobe, all cosy and comfy-looking. “What else were you talking about?”

“Hm?”

“With the servant.”

“Oh.” He paused to collect his thoughts. “Dinner stuff. He wanted to tell me the options they’ve got, so we can order ahead of time.”

Rayla made a thoughtful noise, and drew him by the wrist back over to the sofa again. “And?”

“You want me to list it all off?” She nodded, and obligingly he went off listing the various items on the menu, many of which were evidently examples of bizarre Sunfire ideas about cooking. Snails, really? Frog legs? Her nose wrinkled at that one, and Callum’s lips quirked. “They serve glow toad too.” He admitted ruefully. “I mean, I guess I heard they were delicious, but it’s one thing to hear it and another thing to have it on the menu, you know?”

She made a face. “Ez would never forgive us.”

“Bait would never forgive us.” He agreed, snickering.

“And besides – ew.” Rayla shook her head, and waved her hand. “What else?”

He went through all of the selections, drinks and desserts included, and then finished up by saying “He left a sort of booklet thing behind with it all written down, if you want to look over it.”

She stared at him with exasperation. “Callum. You really just stood there and said it all when you could have just handed me the bloody menu?”

“Well, you did ask.” He said, like this was reasonable, and she sighed fondly at him.

“You dumb prince.” She told him, affectionate, and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek before going to look for the menu.

By this point, it was around four in the afternoon, and the sun seemed to be making a very definite bid for descent. She retrieved the Booklet of Food Options and retreated to the sofa with it, where Callum had already planted himself to watch the city. There was a hint of yellow-green in the bright clear sky, and the angle of light from the sinking sun was casting some particularly dramatic shadows. The temple was still gleaming with light off to the side, and the golden circuitry through the city still exhaling. She stared at it for a moment, certain that tonight’s sunset really was going to be spectacular, and then opened the menu to start looking.

It had been long enough since lunch that the sight of so many food options was plenty enough to make her start considering the idea of an early dinner. In an hour or two, maybe. Some of it was too weird or too exotic to consider, but there was a lot that wasn’t.

She passed the booklet over when she was done making selections, but Callum seemed too occupied with the burgeoning sunset to want to look at it. She snorted, leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, and then leaned comfortably into his side to watch the city.

The sun fell over a period of around half an hour, sinking lower and lower, until the sky filled with such intense yellows and deep reds that it seemed almost to have caught fire. The grey slate of the city turned bloody red in the light, every golden trace lit up and shining in the growing dark. The few wispy clouds left in the sky were shining too, until the sun began to pass beneath the lip of the sea on the horizon, and the blue-green edges of the dusk glittered with stars.

“That,” He said, very softly, when dusk was ebbing into twilight, “was a really incredible view.”

Rayla had little artistry in her heart, but she’d appreciated that sunset. She knew that by contrast it must have touched Callum deeply. She looked at him, taking in his expression, finding it every bit as amazed and awed and happy as she could have hoped for. Her heart fluttered, happy for that he was happy, and in the warmth of that contentment she reached over to cup his cheek with her hand.

He looked at her, leaning into the hand, and offered her a small and very soft smile. Her thumb smoothed over his cheek as he lifted his hand to settle atop hers. Wordless, she leaned in to kiss him, warm and brief, and lingered there close by his face for a long while after their lips parted. He sighed very quietly, entirely happy and entirely at ease. It was peaceful in a way she’d dearly missed.

Feeling utterly suffused with warmth, Rayla nestled in beside him, fingers hooking lightly in the soft red wool of his robe. His arm came around her, and both of them sighed, and both of them settled, and it was quiet.

Neither of them felt the inclination to move or speak for quite a while. The sky was dark and full of stars by the time she shifted, and the city’s golden circuitry shining boldly through the shadow. The Moon, ascendant in the sky, was very nearly full.

“Might not be so bad after all, staying here a while.” She said, finally, and pressed her lips to his neck. “Comfy, nice bathroom, nice views…and the food options look kind of incredible, honestly.”

He chuckled, soft and fond. “Bit of a weird honeymoon.” He murmured into her hair. “But I’ll take it.”

She huffed. “Honeymoon.” She repeated, shaking her head.

Well. She supposed if they’d had to go through that whole forced marriage ordeal, they did at least deserve to get a nice holiday out of it. Even if most of that holiday was going to be spent working, the not-working parts of the day looked to be a lot fancier and more luxurious than they were back home.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Was her conclusion, in the end. “Did you decide what you’ll be eating?”

“Pretty much.” He kissed her brow. “You ready to order? It’s still kind of early.”

“Eh. It’ll do.” She shrugged, and listed off her selections. He kissed her again, then gently untangled himself from her limbs to go off and summon a servant.

The room had gone darker while the sun set, and the soft yellow glow of the fireless light fixtures along the walls had grown more prominent. Now a little curious, Rayla took the opportunity to investigate one, and on closer inspection found it to be some sort of…weird bioluminescent plant. Or maybe animal? It had long rigid tube-like structures that had plainly been cultivated into ornamental shapes, that looked almost like some sort of stone, though it had obviously been painted or dyed the usual deep red. It exuded a number of softly glowing yellow-orange tendrils from the openings at the end of the tubes, short and blunt but weirdly pretty.

She reached out cautiously to touch one, and at once the tendrils retracted inside the tube, the light dimming. Startled, she drew back to watch it, but the tendrils didn’t start to tentatively reappear again for another minute, during which she heard the light murmurs of Callum conversing with whatever servant he’d summoned.

When Moonshadow elves wanted light after dark, they just used enchantments, or glowstone, like normal people. Fancy Sunfire elves, however, apparently favoured plants. Or animals. She honestly wasn’t sure which this one was. Some sort of land-coral?

“I ordered the food.” Callum said, when he returned. “They said it’ll be about half an hour. And they’ll bring it all up at the same time so we don’t get disturbed twice.”

“Perfect.” She pronounced, with satisfaction, and then dragged him over to meet the light fixtures. Predictably, he spent a good ten fascinated minutes investigating the weird glowing polyps, and then a while longer sketching one out, and was half-way through that when the food arrived.

(Snippet 5: after dinner, Callum and Rayla engage in some silliness, then cuddle. Domesticity.)

“I’m so full I’m not going to move for a week.” Rayla announced, after staggering her way back through to their sofa, followed by an amused Callum. “It’s going to take at least that long to digest all of that.”

“That might make it tricky to get supplies.” He said, pretend-thoughtful. “But I’m sure we can work something out.”

She snorted, patted him on the shoulder, and then promptly pulled him into her side when he started looking at her in the imminent-cuddles sort of way. He hummed contentedly, turning his face into her shoulder, breath warming the wool over her collarbone.

“This bathrobe is so comfy.” He said happily, words muffled by wool. “It’s so nice.”

Having had very similar sentiments about his bathrobe earlier, she quite agreed. “Shame they didn’t include wool pyjamas, really.”

He didn’t offer any response for that, just snuggled, putting an arm around her waist. It was almost a little uncomfortable, really, what with how full she was, but she didn’t protest. She just held him close, smoothed her free hand over his hair, and looked out over the city. In the dark, watching the vaporous light rise felt very much like watching fire. It was very entrancing.

Some time later, Callum started to show signs of beginning to fall asleep on her. She looked down at him, snorted, and then nudged him until he stirred. “If you fall asleep now you’ll be up too late.” She informed him as he made plaintive noises at her. “I’m not having you exhausted and useless for your magic channelling nonsense tomorrow.”

“But you’re too comfy.” He complained, and she smirked.

“That sounds like an invitation to be less comfy.”

He opened an eye to peer at her suspiciously. “What do you mean, ‘that sounds’ – hrk!” His words cut off as, unceremoniously, she swept him up with an arm under his back and another under his knees, on her feet with a quick shift of her weight and his. She grinned down at him, finding him instantly and distinctly awake. “….Honestly this is still pretty comfy.” He said, weakly, when he’d spent enough time staring wide-eyed at her to recover his words.

Rayla pretended at thoughtfulness. “That sounds like a challenge.” She said, and he looked alarmed.

“It wasn’t! It wasn’t!” He protested, to no avail; she stepped around the sofa, judged her angle, and tossed Callum at the bed.

He wasn’t particularly aerodynamic, but her aim had been good enough anyway; he sailed neatly between the posts at the corners and impacted decadent Sunfire quilting with a muffled oof. She was laughing at him outright when he turned, staring at her with a sort of red-faced stupefaction that told her exactly what he thought of the whole experience. “Your face right now,” she managed, doubling over to snicker in his direction. Hilarious.

“You know, there’s a saying,” he began, a little dazed. “About trusting someone as far as you could throw them.” He pushed himself up on his elbows. “You could probably trust someone a lot, is what I’m getting at.”

“…I actually do sort of know how far I could throw you, now that I think about it.” Rayla said, thinking back. “It comes up in assassin training sometimes. Throwing teammates at walls and the like, to give them a leg up. I lobbed someone about your size around six, seven metres once.” She paused, and added “Lengthways, I mean. Throwing someone upwards is a lot harder.”

This did not make him any less wide-eyed. “That’s like, over twenty feet,” he marvelled, looking at her with plain admiration. “You’re amazing.”

She huffed, reflexively bashful at the praise, and shook her head. “Amazing at throwing people, at least.” She said dryly, and went over to stare down at him from the foot of the bed. “How’s the bed?”

“…Very nice, actually.” He said, after a pause for consideration. “You’re pretty bad at making things less comfy.”

“You’re definitely awake now though.” She pointed out smugly. “So my work here is done.”

He snorted, sitting up fully to beckon to her. Obligingly, she bent forwards to meet him with a brief kiss. “Hard not to wake up when someone throws you half-way across the room.”

She rolled her eyes. “It was not that far.” She said, and after a moment made the executive decision to fall forwards onto the bed, face impacting the plush duvet and sinking in. Her feet hung from the edge, and Callum giggled.

“Hehehe toes.” He said, and reached out to poke one. He found her four-toed feet amusingly charming every time he was reminded of them, which would have been funnier, except her feet were pretty ticklish and she twitched every time he prodded like this.

“I will kick you.” She warned, and he subsided with another snicker. Instead of messing with her any further, he shuffled over and started playing with her hair. “Mm. Better.” With a sigh, she closed her eyes and tipped her head forwards, face smooshing deeper into the bed. His fingers carded through her hair, nails trailing lightly at her scalp.

“You didn’t brush it.” He noted, carefully working out a couple of tangles, and she shrugged.

“Couldn’t be bothered. ‘Sides, it only tangles again when we cuddle, anyway.”

He hummed, and went through it again more purposefully, parting it carefully around her horns as he looked for and eliminated a few knots. He brushed around her hornbeds and she shivered. Apparently noticing the reaction, he did it again, more deliberately, chuckling at the way she murmured and pushed her head into his hand. “You look like a shadowpaw when you do that.” He said, affectionately, scritching gently around her horns. “Headbutting people’s hands when they pet you.”

“Anyone else and I’d be cutting off their hands, trust me.” She mumbled at him, already a little indistinct and fuzzy around the edges of her thoughts. Hornbed-scritches did that. “…Suppose the shadowpaw’d do that too. Except they’d bite the hand off instead, if they didn’t like you.”

“What I’m hearing is that if you were an animal you’d probably be a shadowpaw.” He sounded very fond.

“Mm. Guess so.” What would he be? Something doggish, probably. Friendly and playful and loyal, and then all teeth and fierceness when threatened. That sounded about right…

She drifted, a little. It was hard not to, when collapsed onto a comfy surface with one’s hornbeds being rubbed. He stopped after a while though, evidently noticing her drowsiness, and stroked a hand over her head between the horns as he chuckled. “Now who’s falling asleep?” He teased, and she made a half-hearted rude noise at him.

“’s your fault.” She muttered at him, indistinct around the duvet in her face.

“Uhuh.” He sounded amused, and stroked the back of her head again.

(Snippet 6: very detailed depiction of horn care, which in-setting is considered intimate)

She was suddenly very glad he’d interrogated her so persistently on the procedure earlier, because she wasn’t at all certain she’d have been able to tell him anything more sophisticated than ‘um’ when he was literally about to do her horns for her.

“You’re so cute.” He told her affectionately, obviously very aware of her current emotional state, and then finally set soapy hands onto her horns.

“Oh my god.” She muttered, cheeks flaming, feeling the weight of his hands, the subtle pull at the rest of her skull. She had never been quite so aware of her horns as when he started soaping them up and washing them, and it didn’t take long at all for the warmth of his skin to soak far enough through the keratin so that she could feel it in the living horn. A little while later, he applied the coarse-bristled-brush-side of the horn-scrub to her left horn, and she made a tiny embarrassed sound at the ceiling. “You should scrub them harder than that.” She managed after a moment, since he really was being too gentle about it. “Horns are tough, you know.”

He hummed with interest, and obliged, scrubbing hard enough that it pulled at her head a little. The towel-pillow had been a very good idea of his, really. “How much horn care do you normally do?” He asked, curious, getting the washcloth to rinse her horn before scrubbing again. “I’ve seen you file them, but…”

“…Usually just this. A good scrub to make sure they’re clean, and then filing down the rough bits.” Rayla offered a mortified noise. “But it’s been weeks and I’ve not even done that. They’re probably so dirty…”

“Shush, they’re fine.” He huffed at her, and kept on at her left horn until he was satisfied with it, moving over to the other one. Rayla regarded the ceiling with a persistently red face the whole while, cheeks feeling nearly as warm as the half of her body that was still in bathwater. “I wonder if your face is going to be this red the whole time.” He remarked, when he’d apparently finished with the washing.

“Probably.” She muttered, self-consciously, and felt her gut squirm when she felt the first experimental scrape of the fine filing parts on her horn.

Callum laughed softly, and started setting to work with the file. “If you say so.”

For all that he’d never done this before, the muted sensory feedback Rayla gleaned from her inner-horns and her ears suggested that he seemed to be doing fine with it. He readjusted the file enough that she could be relatively sure he was respecting the curve of the ridges, and worked slowly along the shape of each one, from the hornbed to the pointed tip, over and over again.

As she’d told him, it was a long process. It took a long time. Long enough that, contrary to her words, her embarrassment did start to burn out a bit, the red of her cheeks easing until she only felt a little flushed, a little flustered.

“I see why you thought the cloak would be a good idea.” Callum said ruefully, a while in. She could only imagine how much horn-dust and flaky bits of keratin must be littering it. “This does get kind of messy.”

“Told you.”

“For now this is just making your horns go sort of…pale, and scratched-looking.” He commented, working the file around one of the ridges on the underside. “I guess it goes dark again once you start buffing it?”

She made a small despairing noise, but agreed “Yeah, basically. Honestly all you really need to do is wipe it over with a wet cloth and it’ll stop looking like that. But…”

“But I’m not stopping there.” He said, with evident satisfaction, and a little more heat rose in her cheeks.

He was slow and meticulous about the filing, but got through it a lot more quickly than she could have if she’d done it herself. It was hard to work on your own horns – the angle was bad, you couldn’t see what you were doing, and adjusting to get the undersides was a huge pain in the arms. By contrast, doing it for someone else was just…a lot easier.

Finally, he set the scrub down and went for the washcloth again, soaping up and rubbing her horns clear of dust, poring over them for any spots he’d missed. When he was finally satisfied, he said “and now I buff them?”

“Mmhm.” She confirmed, bringing her hands up to hide her face for a moment. So, at her confirmation, he started on that part next. He evidently hadn’t expected how vigorous the buffing and polishing stages of horns were, because she kept telling him to press the buffer harder, and he kept making worried noises about it, and she had to keep assuring him that no that’s how it’s supposed to be, and eventually she start started laughing helplessly at him.

“I feel like I’m going to hurt your neck,” he complained at her, when the strength of the requisite motions pulled at her head. “Or like, hurt your hornbeds, or something.”

“I’ll be fine, Callum.” She assured him, still laughing, mirth and embarrassment squirming in her chest. “This is just how it goes, you know.”

“At least I brought you a pillow.” He sighed, and obligingly kept on. A fair while later, when he was done with the buffing and had washed her horns again, he leaned back a bit to admire his work. “That really is looking a lot smoother and shinier.”

“And you’ve not even done the polishing yet.” Rayla felt very weird then, laying back, eyes fixed on the ceiling. She’d been through embarrassment, and then amusement, and now…now, there was something else. She felt almost calm. Almost settled, like she’d finally started to grow used to this. Like the novelty of his hands on her horns had worn through.

Now, she felt kind of comfortable. At ease, in a way. Her mind was drifting in the way it did when Ethari or Runaan had helped her with her horns before, like this was just a normal thing. A normal thing that took ages, and that one had to daydream through to pass the time.

“I’m actually really looking forward to seeing what they look like when I’m done.” He was saying, as he put the buffing things down and went to get the bottle of polish and the polishing tool. “I’ve never seen your horns all done up before.”

“Maybe now you’ll finally understand what I mean when I say my horns have gone gross.” She pondered, and he laughed. “Finally you’ll know what well-kept horns are supposed to look like.”

“I have seen other Moonshadow elves’ horns, you know.” He informed her, obviously amused, and she heard the cap of the polish opening. A moment later, she smelled it, because there was really no mistaking that smell. “Yours still look nice no matter how long it’s been since you scrubbed them.”

Rayla made a disagreeable noise at him, and he snickered back, and then finally set about the polishing.

She’d told him, earlier, that horn-polish was pretty potent stuff, and that’s why you applied it to a sort of spongy cloth attached to a handle, rather than scrubbing with it by hand. At full strength, it actually melted the outer surface of the horn – just a little, just enough to meld it all down into a smooth, gleaming, perfect surface. Diluted polish was fine if you did it regularly, but with how long it had been for her…she’d told him to keep it undiluted. And it stank.

Her nose wrinkled, even with all the pleasant soap smells competing, and held her neck lax as Callum worked on her horns vigorously enough to pull her head back with every other movement. That was just how it went, so she wasn’t bothered. The towel was enough padding that it didn’t hurt, so she just laid there and let him work.

“Think I might actually nearly be done.” He pronounced at last, sounding genuinely a little out of breath. She’d told him it was hard work, and evidently he’d found that out for himself. He sounded very pleased, though. Like he’d done a good job and knew it, and was plenty proud about it. “Just got to wash all this polish muck off, right? Soap your horns up again.”

“That is the last stage.” She agreed, trying to glance up at him, but all she could really see was the top of his head. “Aside from oiling, I suppose.”

(Snippet 7: aftermath of horn care, domesticity)

It was then, by the sink, that Rayla finally removed the towel from her head, and Callum made a loud noise of pure joy at her. She stared at him, alarmed, and then noticed where he was actually looking. Oh.

“Shiny!” He exclaimed, gleeful, and reached out to stroke her horns. “Oh my god.”

“Callum!” She complained, but she was already laughing, because honestly she should have predicted this reaction. He practically groped at her horns, bright-faced and beaming, and she flushed all the while she stood still and let him. “Are you going to let me see them any time soon?” She asked him, dry. “Or are you just going to stand there groping them?” He subsided at that with a very high-pitched giggle.

“Hehehe,” he offered, and then “yes, go look! You need to tell me how well I did.” He took her by the shoulders and turned her to the mirror, his face lingering by her shoulder in her reflection with the enormous grin still very much in residence there. He was such a dork, honestly.

Finally, Rayla tipped her head forwards and inspected her horns. They were…shiny. Very shiny. Every ridge had been filed and buffed and polished to a gleam, and when she turned her head, the light glimmered off of them like they’d been waxed. Her eyebrows went up, and she lifted her own hand to feel along one. It was smooth. Entirely dry, but as she ran her finger along one ridge, it felt so smooth. Their dark colour was actually glossy. “…Wow.” She said, a little admiringly, and tilted her head to watch the light move. “That is shiny.”

He looked absolutely delighted by that response, as if he’d needed her go-ahead to be certain that, yes, that was definitely impressively shiny. She smiled, helpless to stop it, and turned her head to kiss him on the cheek; her reflection mirrored her.

“You did a great job, Callum.” She told him fondly, her cheeks pink at having seen exactly how great a job he’d done. Stars, but the second anyone saw her they’d know exactly who was responsible for those horns. “My horns haven’t been this shiny in years.”

Callum looked at her like she’d hung the Moon, like this praise was enough to render him utterly overjoyed. He tugged her around enough to kiss her, deep and excited and full of energy, so much so that she made a muffled noise of surprise into his lips. It caught her off-guard, and she was feeling a little breathless and a little dazed when he drew away a few moments later. “You have to let me do this again.” He told her, beaming. “I’m going to keep your horns this shiny, just you wait.”

Her cheeks flamed, and she ducked her head, suddenly flustered. “You can’t just say things like that.” She complained at him, and of course he looked utterly unrepentant. He leaned in and kissed her, then moved and kissed her on one cheek, and then on the other cheek, and his hands were already up and stroking along the wide bases of her horns again.

“Smooth,” he commented, gleefully, fingers warm around her horns. His face was very, very close to hers. “They’re so nice.”

The heat in her face decidedly didn’t abate. “Oh my god, Callum.” She mumbled, shaking her head, and he just kissed her again. Feeling increasingly dazed, she said into his lips “you know, it’s a lot faster if you’re doing it regularly. You can skip the filing and just buff and polish instead.”

He considered this excellent news, if the way he kissed her was any indication.

Finally, she summoned the force of will to reach up and peel his hands from her horns, stepping away. It was not easy, because – because when he looked like that, so elated and alive and full of delight, when he kissed her so enthusiastically, it was hard to think of pretty much anything. She looked across at him, incredibly flustered, and couldn’t see anything except how beautiful he was. “You, calm down.” She ordered him, gruffly, and led him by the shoulder to the basin. “We came in here to brush our teeth, you numpty. Not fondle Rayla’s horns.”

“But Rayla’s horns are really really pretty.” Callum pointed out cheerfully, and she made an involuntary noise half-way between embarrassment and pleasure.

“Be that as it may, Rayla and her horns want you to brush your teeth now so we can go to bed.” She said, and she shuffled over to the basin to make good on her words.

(Snippet 8: Callum and Rayla go to bed finally. Cuddling, fluff.)

It proved as magnificently soft and comfy as she might have expected, when she peeled back the covers and climbed in. Callum meanwhile was perusing the canopy with consideration.

“Curtains or no curtains?” He asked her, and she considered it.

“Curtains.” She decided, and watched with satisfaction as he reached out and unhooked the bed’s attendant drapery. She reached to the one closest to her, and he got the rest; it all fell into place, a rich dark red that blocked out the light from the room around them and cast their bed into soothing shadow. Something settled in her then, that hadn’t quite been at ease in the unfamiliar surroundings, or the openness of the room. She sighed, and burrowed down under the duvet, laying her head back on the pillows.

He joined her, lifting the covers and slipping in, closing his eyes for a second in obvious profound enjoyment. “This is so much better than hard cold floor.” He murmured happily, and she smiled, tugging him to her with a hand at his shoulder. He went gladly, and within moments they were pressed close, legs tangling, the warmth of his skin comforting against her own.

“Been a long few weeks.” She sighed, resting her forehead against his, and he lifted a hand to stroke her cheek.

“Kind of an understatement.” He murmured back. “I’m glad we’ve got a chance to rest now.” A pause. “Sort of, anyway. Aside from the work.”

She understood his meaning, though. There was something strangely safe about the idea of the time they’d spend here, whether it would be a week or longer than that. This wasn’t home, where there’d be people to explain things to, or where they’d have to adapt their old life to fit around what had happened. This was a new place – unfamiliar, but easier to cope with for that unfamiliarity, in its own way.

Here, she thought, they’d be able to find their footing a little. Settle a little more into their new normal, before the vagaries of travel and normal life needed intrude again.

“Me too.” She agreed, at last, and reached a hand across to press lightly around the back of his neck. He made a soft, pleased sound, then shuffled to give her better access, face smooshed into the pillow. She kissed him on the cheek, and he peered at her with one green eye, a smile fluttering on his lips.

“…Thanks for letting me do your horns.” He mumbled back, eventually. “I liked it.”

Her heart fluttered. “I’ll repay you sometime.” She promised, and moved her hand to smooth down along his upper back, enjoying the warmth of his skin. “Tomorrow, maybe. Give you a nice backrub or something.”

“Sounds great.” He shifted closer, tucking his face against her shoulder with a sigh. She kissed him at the top of his forehead, stroking him gently from the nape of his neck to his shoulders and back. He made quiet contented noises at her, drowsier and drowsier, and steadily began to drift off.

She lingered there, holding him, trailing fingertips over his neck as he settled into sleep. It really had been a long day for him, for all that they’d spent the latter half of it indoors and resting. Now, finally, he’d be able to sleep properly, in a bed comfortable enough to ease the ache of his overworn muscles. Now, finally, without the city’s doom hanging over them, they could rest a little.

Rayla smiled into his hair, nestled against him, and closed her eyes. She wasn’t aware of falling asleep, but it took her anyway; almost between one moment and the next, she was gone.

#rayllum #rayllumvalentines #moon gardens #these snippets will probably not get posted to ao3 #i'd like to reiterate that I have no intention of posting the entire story either #but i hope you can enjoy these extracts regardless #i adore this fic tbh #it's a delight to write #which is probably how i managed to write 120k of it in one month #still proud of that #one heck of a personal record really

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mc-critical · 3 years

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Okay hi its me again💜 i enjoyed your answers to my questions but im here again lol

My Question now is probably annoying or hard but i asked another page a while ago and they said it was too hard (had to re search a lot for it) but i find it very interesting.

Ranking All Imperial Sultanas from MC/MCK by how Influental/powerful they were,would be very happy if u made a list with reasonings i love yours blogs and how well they're formulated.

I'll have to agree with the other page you've asked this question that it's going to be hard answering to it when it comes to history. There's still stuff we don't know for sure (we don't even know precisely how much political influence Hürrem actually had historically!) and there is a lot of research to be done in order to give a full perspective.

That's why I'm going to limit myself to the show. While I feel the hierarchy is even more of a mess there, the conclusions one can drive are far more clear cut, especially when it comes to the evolution of power being explored on a thematic level through the Sultanate of Women.

That said, for me, the most powerful and influential sultana in the show is Kösem. She got the most from the power as a sultan's favourite and the power as a valide. She had the support of both the people and the Jannisary. She was a regent during the early years of Murat's reign and even after Murat took away her regency, she could run her foundations and had meetings that were her making decisions about the state. She represented the state almost her whole life to the point she went as far as to remove every single threat that stood in its way. Out of all the sultanas, she was the one who had the most chance to utilize and extend her power, yet she was the one with the most opposition from people who were capable of anything to take her down. She fought with enemies that put her under constant pressure, but also had their fair share of power and it was a lot more possible for the odds to turn in their favor when it came to it. Kösem managed to overcome all of them not only through sheer force of will, but also through the sheer confidence in the amount of power she wields (and the way she uses it).

The two most important "branches" of Kösem's power that make her stand out among the rest are the reach her power has and her experience. Kösem's touch of power was relatively early - Ahmet and Mustafa, the the most important people in the whole empire, were in their death beds, Handan, the Valide Sultan, didn't know what to do when everyone else was only seeking their own benefit, and the only one who could stand up to the people in what was a massive revolt, was Kösem. By expressing the confidence that the sultan was okay, she represented the country as early as episode 7, she gained another, new wave of respect in the harem and it all unraveled from there. She was starting to "lose" her innocence, she clashed with arguably the most powerful people in the harem (Safiye and Halime + Dilruba), Ahmet, for all he was, acted very "loosely" with her, in terms of what he permitted her to do when it came to the boundaries of her power in the harem and his heart, he relied on her to make decisions when he couldn't, he looked up to her, he sought her advice, he even left the state in her hands in the end. Thanks to the evolution of the SOW, now that very powerful and influential women are the norm in the harem rather than the exception, Kösem was both in a precarious, yet very powerful position, she grasped what the ones before her had and yet got to lengths no one else before (or after her, show-wise) did. Her power spread everywhere, she had so many areas of influence, to the point Murat, the padişah himself, felt overshadowed by all that. But most importantly, she reached out to the people, they all loved and respected her. No sultana was as close to her people as Kösem and I feel that's the most valuable power one could have.

I would put Safiye as second. She's been in power for so many years and she perceives her own power as so massive it's hard for her to let go of. Her dresses, morning routines, material possessions, servants were exemplary. She was so influential in the harem that she was still pretty much perceived as a Valide, even when she already wasn't. She was apparently close to Queen Elizabeth in the show, as well. She also had foundations, even though reaching to the people was far from her first priority. What brings her down for me, is that her influence began to waver slowly, but surely, ever since she was imprisoned in that tower. (yes, she still had a concubine to poison Ahmet, but still...) She lost from Kösem eventually, but she still had very strong presence and was a remarkable member of the SOW. Something from her was left even when she was at her "weakest" - the person manipulating Osman.

I don't know where to put Turhan, to be honest. She was certainly very influential, because she could amass people to her side and staged this massive coup and what helped even further, is her being in a high position from the very beggining and her thematic role in the evolution of power in the SOW, that while everyone else there had their power from their positions as favorites to some extent, at least, Turhan got it solely from herself and what she achieved on her own, because the love and favor from the padişah in her case, was absent at best. But.... her achievements and early apparent upper hand at first only stemmed from the fact that she was Kösem's shadow, she was essentially fooling her and playing with her trust. That is surely bold and the amount of time she succeeded to win in her hands is definetly something, but that facade could last only so far and when it dropped.... Kösem and Turhan were pretty much on equal ground. They were doing move after move and Turhan won only because she used Kösem's weakness. And her weakness.. wasn't the amount of power she wielded. Turhan manipulated her to let go of her personal restraints, which was what she thrived in, but that wasn't really related to power. Power was what Turhan wanted to get, not what she fully had. The same goes with influence. The spheres of Kösem and Safiye's influences were also much bigger than what Turhan ever got and no matter how well she twisted her words, her stunt could even become ineffectual later on, because she has neither ideals, nor principals, but we cannot deny she went way beyond her predecessors for the thing she craved, so I guess she could be here for now.

The Halime and Dilruba (+Davud) faction is not to be underestimated at all. Despite that, similarly to (one aspect of) Turhan, most of their power came from their ruthlessness and how much they were willing to use it. It's interesting, because Halime's most "powerful and influential" was her at her most desperate point, when she seemed to be losing control, because when everyone (the Jannisary especially) learned about Mustafa's condition, no one wanted him to be their sultan, and when Mustafa was dethroned and Osman was the one who ruled. The faction being ready to do anything to be in power and win caused them to beat Kösem in certain instances and were the reason for one of her biggest losses. As far as I recall, they were setting people against Osman and they were also fueling the fire around him, as well as the other stuff. Their opportunism is also a key thing in their power, while it could be also Halime's flaw, when it was her strenght, it fully showed. Knowing when to act (post-E25 Halime and especially Dilruba) and circling around all sides (pre-E25 Halime) is important and advantageous, compared to those who are more direct in their motives. However, when that ruthlessness of the faction is gone, they end up believing way too much in their own victory, hence they let themselves get off guard. Which is what, as well as their ruthlessness that caused Kösem to act even more against them, brought them to their end. And Halime herself could act very irrationally when the opportunity finally seems to come for her, which made her fall under Safiye's traps.

Nurbanu had enough power to guide Selim, hide his mistakes and win him supporters in a way, even though I'm sure she could also be pretty independent of him. She also ended up defeating Hürrem, all things considered. She was cunning enough and she gained influence considerably fast, judging by MC's themes, of course. However, we didn't see much of her influence outside of Selim in the show and seemed to have opposition quickly after her supposed victory was approaching, with the Safiye case she didn't have the upper hand in, in the end. (though it hadn't been such an easy battle, I'm certain of that.) Nurbanu is definetly the most powerful and influential concubine of a prince, but would she be more powerful than the current/future valides before her? I can't say for sure.

While I don't see her as the most powerful and influential sultana of the franchise, Hürrem definelty brought something new to the table, especially in regards to all the traditions she broke, her more extensive foundation work and her getting in contact with the statesmen, along with vast political allies. Hürrem was the sultana whose power stemmed from her favorable position, but that alone. And thanks to both SS and the themes and the time period, that also could only go so far. Her fatal flaw (the fixation of her enemies and her taking the more opportunistic political allies instead of truly testing their loyalty) made her political alliances become unstable in the end. She had her severe amount of influence, but that influence... seemed to disappear little by little when she seemed to be losing, especially when it came to Rüstem. Her power comes from Süleiman and if/when he dies, Hürrem loses absolutely everything. She has her fair amount of legacy, of course, especially with the favorable treatment and her marriage and how far could one start going on the road of power (though that was more on the themes that set Hürrem as a trendsetter for similar character arcs, not so much on Hürrem herself, but it's stil there), but there're sultanas more powerful than her.

I don't think I'm going to go through all the dynastic sultanas when it comes to power, because their characters and arcs are very rarely connected to power. Still, I find the most powerful and influential dynastic sultanas of MC to be Şah and Mihrimah, and of MCK: Hümaşah. Şah is especially there when it comes to influence and how many things she succeeded to pull off, to the point she could beat both Hürrem and Mihrimah, if she truly wanted to, and Mihrimah had SS's favor and her own growing confidence in her own capabilities, which is also very important. Hümaşah has her power as Safiye's daughter and then, very loosely, as a harem ruler, even though she's not more powerful than her or most of the MCK sultanas.

Ayşe Hafsa had her own fair share of power as a Valide Sultan. She wasn't that massively influential and she didn't weave political plots, but she was very strong in the harem, which she ruled with grace and poise. She had everyone there obey, respect and at times even fear her and she didn't give up so easily in her fight with Hürrem. She was a tough opponent precisely because of the power she had in the harem and even Hürrem admitted she was looking up to her to an extent. Everyone listened to her sound advice and SS considered her his conscience, even though she slowly lost her influence of him in S02B. (and even then SS still cared for her enough, of course)

A bit of a bizarre opinion maybe, but I put Gülbahar and Mahidevran next to each other when it comes to the power they wield in their respective shows. That's mostly when it comes to the vast amount of supporters they both have gained whether it's thanks to their sons or their own personalities, which could put them a step above their rivals at times. (the "Mahidevran is dependent on others" remark.... could actually be as much her advantage as is Gülbahar's seek of supporters and how she uses that.) Both have sons they strive to advice in their own beliefs and while sometimes they may not listen, they respect their mothers a lot. Both gain their strength and power without being favored by their respective sultans. Mahidevran's power shows much more when she rules her harem in Manisa, as she she shows decisiveness and justice and yet can use the same firm hand Valide Hafsa once used with her when necessary. Gülbahar's power shows much more in the castle with all the reach she has thanks to her supporters, along with her big ambition to get what's hers. I would put Gülbahar before Halime and Mahidevran after Ayşe Hafsa in this list.

In theory, Handan had a lot of power as a Valide, but she could by no means adapt to it. She was trying to exert it as much as possible, yet she never discovered how exactly to do it, and when she seemed close to discovering, someone either worked behind her back or everything just went all wrong. Nearly everyone's lack of respect thanks to Safiye's influence was even harder to get over. Handan wasn't suited for this harem life and her only solaces were her son and Derviş. Power wasn't Handan's thing at all, still she was an awesome character.

Farya and Ayşe are a tricky case. While Farya was the closest person to Murat ever being favorable to someone (besides Atike, actually no wonder they're besties!) and he married her, she didn't have the safest position in the castle, because she couldn't have children for the longest time. What Farya got in the end was only a slightly more favorable position that could end at any given time and Kösem becoming her enemy didn't help, either. Ayşe practically ranked above Farya as a mother of Murat's children, but her relationship with Murat was strained, at the very least, and that could pretty much cost her her life. Gülbahar only took advantage of her. The girl was stuck in an abusive and toxic relationship and all she could do to end it, was take her own life and that of her children. Thing is, we're talking Murat and he's as abusive and toxic with all his women as he can get, along with his fear for someone to betray or outshine him, so there's only so much power you can get during his unpredictable and (both direct and deep-seated) anger induced reign, so both Ayşe and Farya are on equal terms when it comes to power. Murat screwed both of them over so hard, I don't think there was ever time or a chance for them to seek such power and influence like others have and I don't blame them for it one bit. It's really, really heartwrenching, actually.

#magnificent century #muhteşem yüzyıl #muhtesem yuzyil #magnificent century: kösem #magnificent century kösem #magnificent century kosem #ask #therealhaseki #am I missing someone? (who isn't a dymastic sultana and isn't Sah Hüma or Mihri)

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triviareads · 3 years

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For you alone, I think and plan (The Wedding of Charlotte Bridgerton)

For Kate and Anthony 2021 Week, Day 7 Prompt: There is no "I" in team.

Once the engagement of The Honourable Charlotte Bridgerton and James De Courcy, Earl of Clairmont, was set, Lord and Lady Bridgerton were united in the cause of ensuring their eldest daughter’s wedding went off without a hitch.

That is not to say there were some questions about the match, as the precedent the Bridgerton family members had set was so wildly different from Charlotte and Clairmont’s staid, if not secret courtship.

Lord Bridgerton in particular was extremely dubious at first. After an audience with Lord Clairmont during which the earl asked for Charlotte’s hand, he told Kate in a rather helplessly befuddled manner, "I had to give him permission- he said all the right things!”

“I am glad he did…?” Kate trailed off. Anthony was always (over) protective of his daughters, but Kate was confused as to what the issue exactly was.

“Perhaps I was hoodwinked,” Anthony said darkly. “Clairmont is a politician, through and through.”

Kate stifled her laugh. “The earl is not one to dissemble, my lord. I am sure whatever sentiments he expressed were perfectly in earnest.”

“So our daughter assured me…” Anthony trailed off before sighing deeply- once, then twice.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Whatever is the problem, my dear?" she said in an exaggerated monotone.

Anthony finally blurted, "It's just, I didn't expect Charlotte to settle for a man such as him."

Kate tilted her head slightly as she examined her husband. "I do not understand your meaning.”

Anthony frowned. "I feel rather like how Simon must have felt when Lord Geoffrey applied for Caroline's hand."

Lord Geoffrey Findlay-Watt was the third son of a marquess who was of middling age and fortune, and did some undisclosed work for Whitehall. It had been a tremendous surprise when he had approached the Duke of Hastings for Caroline’s hand- pretty, vivacious Caroline- and what more, that the Lady Caroline had accepted his proposal with alacrity.

The marriage itself had turned out surprisingly well. Lord Geoffrey doted on his younger wife while Lady Caroline was solicitous to his needs, and the two led happy, mostly separate lives.

Kate finally understood what Anthony was getting at, and was rather amused.

"Could it be that you wished for a more handsome man for your daughter?" Kate teased. "Someone more roguish, perhaps? I do not forget that all but one of your sisters married rakes of the first water."

Anthony shuddered. "God no, after the debacle with Amelia, I should be glad if neither Charlotte nor Mary entangle themselves with such men.” He turned consideringly towards Kate. “In that sense, I suppose Clairmont is a capital fellow.”

Kate chuckled, glad to have mollified her husband so easily.

On the whole, however, the Bridgerton family was quite supportive of the match.

When Edmund heard that the engagement was set, he merely grinned, shook his head, and said, “I suppose it is natural she should settle her own affairs quickly- Charlotte has always done what she wants.” Edmund had always made a pet of Charlotte, who was seven years younger than him. Miles, though still five years older than his sister, was far more likely to treat her as an equal.

Anthony pointed out to his eldest, “Not that you tried very hard to introduce her to your friends- or watch over her.”

“Why should I play matchmaker?” Edmund asked his father amusedly. “Particularly when Miles here fulfilled that position nicely, if unwittingly.” He reached over and ruffled his younger brother’s hair.

Miles scowled at Edmund, and then said to the room at large, “How was I supposed to know Charlotte had formed a tendre for Clairmont- or that he reciprocated it? They just talked- a lot.”

“My dear,” Kate told her son wryly, “marriages have been proposed on the basis of much less.”

Anthony laughed loudly at that, while their children pulled faces of varying levels of disgust. After twenty-six years of marriage, Lord and Lady Bridgerton still delighted in alluding to their unconventional courtship.

“Well I for one am glad Charlotte’s getting married,” little Mary said loyally, skipping over to curl up next to her papa. “I want a big wedding- will it be a big wedding?”

Anthony looked fondly at his youngest daughter. “Of course sweetheart,” he told her. He turned to Kate and added, "It seems Charlotte would not have it any other way."

Indeed, Charlotte seemed intent on a proper society wedding, the kind that was light on church attendance (for which respectable member of the ton would be awake and sensible before noon?) and positively overflowing with guests at the wedding breakfast.

Such a task would have been daunting had Charlotte not known so exactly what she wanted, or that Anthony and Kate were not equally eager to please.

Anthony quickly offered to procure a special license for his daughter, as had practically become de rigueur among their family, but Charlotte, to his surprise, refused.

“Why ever would we need it, Papa?” she asked, looking so sweetly up at him, Anthony could not help but feel he was being made fun of in some way.

He flushed and stammered something to the extent of a special license allowing for them to be married at Bridgerton House if they so chose.

(In truth, it was a rather clumsy way for him to inquire whether certain… liberties had been taken, and if the wedding had to be moved up).

“No, we are content with a common license,” Charlotte told him kindly. “Clairmont will be meeting with the bishop any day now to procure one.”

“Then what shall I do?” Anthony asked, feeling quite helpless.

Charlotte thought for a moment. “If you could secure St. George’s for us, we would be much obliged- oh, and will you send for the Bridgerton tiara from Aubrey for me?”

Anthony blinked. “I-yes, of course,” he quickly agreed, adding, “And the family jewels, I suppose?”

Charlotte’s lips curled upwards in a grin. “Of course,” she told her papa. Anthony smiled, happy to be on the same page as his daughter once more, and he went to accomplish the tasks given to him with great alacrity.

(Anthony later relayed this dialogue to Kate, who wisely refrained from mentioning the singular occasion in which she had found Charlotte and Clairmont in the gardens, Clairmont pressed up against the tree by Charlotte who was kissing him deeply).

For Kate’s part, she eagerly took her daughter to all her fittings and arranged every facet of the wedding breakfast personally. She even endured an entire afternoon with Charlotte and the Duchess of Hastings vetting every member on the guest list including the assortment of colleagues Clairmont insisted on inviting.

“Really, one would think he were attempting to build some sort of coalition at your wedding breakfast,” Kate said, taken aback at the extent of the list Clairmont had so obligingly provided.

“Come now, Mama,” Charlotte said laughingly. “Surely you must know by now that for men such as Clairmont, every event is an opportunity to shore up more support.”

Kate looked consideringly at her daughter. It was fascinating to see how comfortable Charlotte already seemed to be with the spheres she would be inhibiting as Lady Clairmont. Kate drew comfort from this, thinking back to how unprepared she had been when she first became the Viscountess Bridgerton, and how lost she would have been had she not been aided by her mother-in-law and Daphne.

Kate smiled to herself. How heedless she and her husband had been back then! How impetuous and deeply misunderstanding of one another they were initially! It was only later that any understanding had been reached, and only then had their love blossomed.

Her daughter, on the other hand, had ensured she would have the immense privilege of marrying a man whose ambitions and desires complimented her own, and their temperaments and affections would always be in accordance.

In that moment, Kate had never felt happier for Charlotte.

In the end, the wedding was all things lovely, and the wedding breakfast was full of laughter and gaiety. Somewhere in the middle of the breakfast, no less an august personage than Lord Melbourne came by to give his congratulations to the happy couple.

Kate and Anthony watched with pride as Clairmont kissed Charlotte’s hand reverently before introducing her to the Prime Minister. Charlotte curtsied deeply and spoke at length with her husband and Melbourne, saying something with a twitch of her lips that made the Prime Minister burst out laughing.

Just then, Anthony turned to Kate, his gaze full of adoration when he asked her quietly, “We did well, didn’t we?”

Kate beamed brilliantly up at her husband.

“I rather think we did.”

#kateandanthonyweek #kateandanthonyweek21 #Bridgerton #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony bridgerton #kathony #bridgerton fanfiction #miles bridgerton #edmund bridgerton #edmund bridgerton ii #mary bridgerton #charlotte bridgerton #lord melbourne

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grifalinas · 3 years

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Kay so I made an attempt to read that PnP reimagined with Lizzie as a boy and I have thoughts. With apologies to the person who recced it to me; I still appreciate you telling me, it just wasn't what I was looking for. Also note that I only got to the end of the first chapter because right away it starting ticking my 'no' boxes for PnP reimaginings. (Yes, I have read enough PnP reimaginings that I have a list of 'no' boxes.) This is all c&p'ed from a post I made to dw hence the format.

I'd like a genderbent Pride and Prejudice where Lizzie is a boy, because the Bennet family having a son changes and recontextualizes quite a bit about the story as well as the Bennet family's situation + the upbringing of the Bennet children + events of the story even beyond just the relationship between Lizzie and Darcy. Like if I read an adaptation of PnP where Lizzie is a boy, I don't want "PnP, but we changed Lizzie's pronouns and occasionally name, used most of the same dialogue but also lazily changed it in places, and tweaked the narration" because not only is that lazy, there's no point to it. I could just reread Pride and Prejudice if I wanted that. I want the author to sit down with the historical context of everything that happened in the book and say "what about this would have different implications if the Bennets' second child was a boy?" and then reconsider the entire story. An incomplete list of what I mean: 1. Would the Bennets even have five children if they had a boy right out the gate? We know that they had five because they were trying to have a boy, and that they eventually gave up. It's easy to imagine them having five anyway because we know that this was common in their era and social sphere, and because Mr. Bennet's original attraction to Miss Gardiner was more for her fashion and physical attractiveness, but that still has to be taken into account because the context of them having five children completely changes when they have "five daughters, no son to cut off the entail" vs "five children, only one boy, and he's their second child". For that matter, the context changes if Lydia is the only son as well- if they have a son and still have five children, the birth order brings a lot to the table for our understanding of these characters and their lives. Their second child being a boy vs their fifth child being a boy vs their first child being a boy or even their middle or fourth child being a boy all carry their own implications. 2. Obviously Darcy being attracted to Lizzie is going to be different if Lizzie is a boy, and obviously that needs to be explored- how does he deal with that? What changes about their interactions, what stays the same? If Lizzie But A Boy is still treated as a viable option for marrying Darcy, then you haven't really changed anything but Lizzie's pronouns. 3. A lot of events in the story change not only if Lizzie is a boy, but also if the Bennets have a son, period. If Mr. Bennet has a son to join him in cutting off the entail, then Mr. Collins will not inherit Longbourne and there is less urgency for Mrs. Bennet to marry off her daughters. Is she still going to try? Of course, and Mr. Bennet being irresponsible about his daughters' dowries and saving money so that they can make good matches is still going to have an impact, but how much say does his son, the future inheritor of Longbourne, now have in this matter? Boy Lizzie will have been spending the last at least few years of his life learning how to run his family estate after his death, how has this affected the matter? Has he persuaded his father to put aside more money for his sisters' dowries? This would line up with Lizzie's initial characterization of trying to take care of the young Bennet sisters in the absence of their parents' attention to their upbringing; Lizzie as a girl (along with Jane) attempted to be the moral guide for her sisters because her mother wouldn't; does Boy Lizzie attempt to be their financial support even before it is his duty as head of their family? Do he and Jane take on the roles of guiding and guarding their sisters and ensuring their futures? 4. Speaking of which, how does Lydia's elopement change if she has a brother to come to her aid? Lizzie explicitly mentions that part of what made Lydia easy prey to Wickham was that she had no brothers, and her father was inattentive at best. What changes about the entire Lydia elopement if Lydia has a protective brother who will do the duty his father will not? How does the matter change if Lydia has a brother who will go to London

to look for her, completely willing to confront Wickham in the name of protecting his sister? What are Boy Lizzie's actions here, now that he's not bound by Girl Lizzie's limitations of having to sit on the sidelines and hope and pray and care for her family in this trying time? 5. The entire relationship between Jane and Boy Lizzie is going to be different than it will be between Jane and Girl Lizzie. Yes, they can still be close; a brother and sister born a mere year apart can easily be close. They can be each other's greatest confidante very easily. But the context is still going to be different. 6. How, if Mr. Bennet has a son, does Mr. Collins come into the picture? Does he still attempt to woo one of the Bennet sisters? With Jane assumed to be courting Bingley and Lizzie now a boy, that makes Mary the obvious target. The book straight up says that Mary might have been persuaded to marry him if he could be pushed in her direction, and since Mr. Collins was fine going for the "plain" Charlotte just because she paid attention to him, he would have no problem going for Mary if she did the same. And Mary had a higher opinion of Mr. Collins than the rest of them did. What's more, without an estate coming his way, would Mr. Collins have had any appeal for Charlotte? This is something that has to be taken into account! It changes everything! 7. And this is all just off my head. The balls, the behavior of Bingley's sisters, Georgianna's admiration for Lizzie, Lizzie's relationships with Lady Catherine, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Charlotte, the entire visit to Mr. Collins, all of that has to be reconsidered in a whole new context if the Bennets' second child is a boy. 8. And finally... is Mrs. Bennet going to be just as gung-ho about getting her son married off as her daughters? Her son will be provided for regardless, and his wife will be her successor in Longbourne. There is a chance she will outlive her husband (she certainly assumes so in the book) and when her son is master of Longbourne, she will be expected to make way for her daughter-in-law as the new mistress. This was offensive to her when Charlotte was destined to succeed her and she would be turned out, but how would she feel if she were still to live in her home as her son's widowed mother, and his wife is now the mistress of said home? Would she be discouraging her son from marrying until she were gone, or would she still be pushing him? What would be her standards? How does this change their relationship? I want to think about these things! I want to speculate and possibly even read a well-written story about them! I want other people to point out things I haven't thought of or don't have knowledge or context regarding!

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casually-inlove · 4 years

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19 Days Character Archetypes. He Tian

This idea had been dancing around the back of my mind for a little over half a year now. I wanted to compare and contrast 19 Days characters with the list of archetypes proposed in the neo-Jungian research and finally, I got some time to spare. For this post, I am going to talk about He Tian. Before I begin, however, let me clarify a few things. Since the subject is fairly complex, I do not intend to write in detail about the theory itself or the studies mentioned because that is not the purpose of this post. I am only looking to give a quick and basic run-down of the common archetypes shared by the 19 Days characters.

What is an archetype? An archetype is a set of predefined characteristics, a mould. Carl Jung described the archetype as a “fundamental unit of a human mind” or a “primordial image”. Simply put, the archetypes are the recurring and simplified patterns — but also symbols. According to his ideas, these basic symbols exist universally irrespective of epochs, nations, cultures, races, places, etc. Jung believed them to be shared by the so-called collective unconsciousness. However, even before him, the philosophers of old introduced the ideas of pre-existing ideal immaterial forms which shape the material reality. Since the archetypes are fundamentally primordial, they permeate every single sphere of human life. Art, media, movies, day to day interactions — all of them deal in archetypes.

While working on his research, Carl Jung defined the driving impulses of the human psyche. In turn, that data helped him come up with underlying basis for human behaviour. Based on his findings, Jung outlined the so-called primary archetypes. Later his research served as a basis for many other studies and classifications, particularly for The 12 Archetype Model, proposed by Margaret Mark and Carol Pearson in “The Hero and the Outlaw”. Naturally, there can be an infinite number of archetypes, each having their subtleties; still, the short lists give the generalized picture. Deconstructing characters to these basic blueprints is a fair game because a character, no matter how complex, is still an abstract entity.

For this series of posts, I am going to rely on the 12 Archetype Model mentioned above. The list goes as follows:

1. The Innocent

2. The Orphan

3. The Hero

4. The Caregiver

5. The Explorer

6. The Rebel

7. The Lover

8. The Creator

9. The Jester

10. The Sage

11. The Magician

12. The Ruler

Having examined this list, I am led to believe that He Tian primarily represents a mixture of The Hero and The Rebel archetypes.

The Hero and The Rebel

Let us start with the most obvious, the Hero. This archetype is closely associated with the ideas of masculinity, and thus it is also referred as the Warrior, the Crusader, etc.

The Hero archetype characteristics

Motto: Where there is a will, there is a way

Core desire: to prove one's worth through courageous acts

Goal: expert mastery in a way that improves the world

Greatest fear: weakness, vulnerability, being a “chicken”

Strategy: to be as strong and competent as possible

Weakness: arrogance, always needing another battle to fight

Talent: competence and courage

These go very much in line with what we know of He Tian. His childhood flashbacks suggest that he indeed intends to be “the strongest”.

The failure to protect the puppy, the harsh words of He Cheng — all of it led him to become fixated on becoming the Hero, the one who swoops down and single-handedly saves the day. It is in the way he stands in to fight She Li for Guanshan or rushes to prevent Jian Yi from getting kidnapped. It is in the way he attempts to resolve the other boy’s problems with debt collectors. It is in the way he deflects the coke can and decides to meet his father for Guanshan's sake.

He Tian yearns to be the strongest because the alternative — being weak and helpless — has already scarred him in the past. Whatever joy he used to have as a child was taken from him, because he was not strong enough to handle things on his own. He entrusted the puppy to his brother and the man betrayed him — or so He Tian was led to believe.

More than that, he wants Guanshan to come to him, whether it’s talking about his complicated past or whether it’s about learning the guitar.

It goes without saying that He Tian is almost eerily good at anything he does — as such he believes he can learn music from scratch in a short time. That speaks volumes about the confidence he has in his capabilities, and yet to an outsider's perspective this might come off as blatant posturing.

Apart from almost baffling self-confidence that he shows, He Tian is also known for his nearly abnormal physical prowess. He managed to hold his ground against several armed adults (which is probably just flawed writing) and way back he even managed to impress Guanshan by effortlessly hopping over the school fence, so it makes one wonder what kind of training he had undergone.

However, the truth is, The Hero is also susceptible to weakness. In his work, Carl Jung has coined the term “The Shadow”, which became a stand-alone archetype in his list. The Shadow stands for our suppressed, ignored or denied traits, in other words, it is everything that we cannot see or refuse to see in ourselves. The concept of this hidden darkness has been since absorbed into a number posterior studies, such as Robert Moore’s and Douglass Gillette’s “King Magician Warrior Lover”, where they introduce triadic paradigms of the archetypes and their corresponding active and passive shadows. Notably, they link the aforementioned archetypes with the concept of “masculinity” and its development throughout adolescence into adulthood.

What is The Shadow to The Hero archetype? When The Hero cannot fulfill their purpose, they surrender to the shadow. The dark side takes their best qualities and transforms them into flaws. The confidence thus turns into arrogance and hubris, courage into foolhardiness, competence into bravado and posturing — or the complete opposite happens. Courage transforms into cowardice, confidence into insecurity, etc.

Whereas He Tian is concerned, before he had developed an emotional attachment to another person (and by doing so gained something to cherish), we could observe some of the definitive shadow patterns in his behaviour. Until he recognized Guanshan as someone to know and to protect, he used to goad the other boy, if not outright assume the position of his superior, demanding obedience and subservience. He Tian also used the snide tone when talking to Guanshan, and he did so in order to establish his power to steer the boy in what he deemed to be the right direction — that is attempting to curb Redhead’s short temper and brashness. And in doing so, he was not shy of subtly threatening the boy or using physical force to make his point.

To be in touch with his masculinity — that is to channel his energy constructively in order to feel strong and needed, — he required to have someone he could play the knight for. Once he could direct his inner impulses properly, his violent tendencies have subsided.

Even so, in his aspiration to be the ultimate good — driven by the hatred for his family background, perhaps — He Tian often opted for doing rash, foolhardy stuff, such as attempting to take on the debt collectors all by himself, for instance. Sure, he would have gotten to “save the day” and be the hero, but that single moment would have cost him his life.

Now, having glanced at the Hero archetype, let us move to the next one, The Rebel. This archetype is characterized by the following:

The Rebel archetype characteristics

Motto: Rules are made to be broken

Core desire: revenge or revolution

Goal: to overturn what is not working

Greatest fear: to be powerless or ineffectual

Strategy: disrupt, destroy, or shock

Weakness: crossing over to the dark side, crime

Talent: outrageousness, radical freedom

The Rebel is also known as the outlaw, the revolutionary, the wild man, the misfit, or iconoclast.

Indeed, He Tian rebels quite a bit in the manhua. First and foremost, his rebellion is directed at his flesh and blood — Mr He and Cheng.

Not much is known about He Tian’s childhood, yet it is pretty clear that he hadn’t exactly had a happy one. His mother died early on and he was left to grow up practically without parents since Mr He is a textbook absentee father. From what He Tian knows, his brother backstabbed him, an act that keeps plaguing their relationship years after, while his father is labeled as a monster — someone who is ostensibly capable of eliminating people who disobey.

It is also clear as the day that young He Tian is traumatized by whatever dealings his family conducts behind the scenes. At some point, we even witnessed a scene where HT is tossed out of the burning yacht, while his brother is covered in blood and holds a gun. A violent experience such as this inevitably leaves a scar — and actually get to see it. He Tian is shown to experience something closely reminiscent of PTSD, recurring violent nightmares, the fear of the dark, etc.

Back in the present day, we see that He Tian wants to put distance between himself and his family. It manifests in living separately from his kin and cutting the contact to a bare minimum. He makes a point of stating that he is independent, severing the ties he deems to be dysfunctional. Yet the same time He Tian cannot quite let go of his familial bonds. In particular, whenever He Cheng is concerned, the boy sneers and flagrantly shows his impetuousness and disrespect.

In many ways he’s practically stomping his feet, attempting to show that he doesn’t need his brother, yet by doing this he proves the opposite: he still yearns his bitter feelings to be validated by He Cheng — and by his father too, to an extent.

This results in bratty behaviour on his part: He Tian orchestrates property damage at the He mansion, impishly rejects Cheng’s gestures of goodwill, etc.That is the work of the Rebel’s “shadow” counterpart — when the desire to overturn things and break free takes on darker shade and slips into dangerous territory. Resisting and opposing then becomes a way of life, and only through it does the “shadow rebel” feel certain of their self.

He Tian pushes at the boundaries of what is permitted and socially acceptable to feel in control of the situation. If we examine the way He Tian interacts with others, we will see that the shadow manifests in many other ways. He Tian is compelled to stir and instigate others, using his wit and cunning to make them uncomfortable or confused, and thus easy to manipulate to his amusement.

Speaking of socially acceptable behaviour, Chinese culture places a great emphasis on the respect towards senior family members — and I probably cannot stress this enough — He Cheng lets him get away with this lack of reverence. Deep inside He Tian seeks his brother’s approval and attention, but rejects it when he is given, and in the process he sets out to tear down anything that displeases him.

Establishing a connection with Guanshan let He Tian fulfill his Hero potential and channel his energy in constructive ways, and yet at the same time, it allowed him to tap further into his “Shadow” Rebel tendencies. That is, to it rub in into He Cheng’s face that he’s no longer welcome or needed.

Naturally, as a character, He Tian possesses traits of other archetypes — such as The Lover, for instance — albeit to a lesser extent, so I’m not going to dive deep in here. Let me just mention, that as a Lover, He Tian is compelled to increase his attractiveness to his love interest — we often see him fishing for compliments and validation on Guanshan’s part, which underscores his inner need to feel needed and wanted, yet also turns into clinginess at times.

With that, this quick rundown of He Tian’s character patterns is complete. All in all, you could say that He Tian is fairly archetypal at his core, and yet it’s the combination of these “trite�� features that mark him as an utterly realistic and believable character. It is because we’ve seen these archetypes countless times before that He Tian appears to be true to life.

Lastly, this is going to turn into a series of posts, but right now I cannot say when the next part is going to be up since writing this took me some time. In the meantime, you can read a bit more below ✨.

A bit more about He Tian | Support me at Ko-Fi

#19 days #he tian #long post #finally published

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