#he's just like me he's got the stinky brain

[skrunksthatwunk]

i love ichiban so much. like in general but like. he's so neurodivergent. so so much i haven't been able to let go of it since i started playing. he's still filtering everything through dragon quest after 18 fucking years in jail without touching it and his loved ones realize and adapt to this bc they're cool so theyre like,, okay,, lemme put it like this. so you got a debuff from your one night stand. it's gonorrhea. and he's like okay i understand. that blows but im ready to hear my treatment options. and then he'd handle it like a well adjusted adult. he just processes it in a roundabout kinda way. he's just like me fr. and he's fully hallucinating gamer shit in the middle of street fights and his friends (who he met 2 days ago) are like lol ok cool cat that's wild. keep hitting them idc. my stats are going up? that's actually really cool ty for telling me i love you forever. i would die for you. and they're right for it. like they just accept him as-is with little fanfare because that's just ichi. they get on his level conversationally and it's not some awful horrific burden to talk about a thing he likes. and he hallucinates and he's not portrayed as some scary monster or unsettling pitiable thing. he's a cool guy and he's got all these nd traits and i think a lotta ppl probably need to see that. it feels very humanizing to me idk. he's a deeply kind and intelligent and loyal and dependable and wonderful man. one of the game protagonists ever maybe THE game protagonist ever and he's always in fucking situations constantly, as is the case with every rgg protag. anyway i love him. i know a lotta ppl look at him and go oh adhd for sure bc he's bouncy or whatever. and while i question that impulse i see you,, but that is NOT all okay. my man has some comorbidities. he's at a quaint little buffet of the dsm-5. something is UP with him and he's doing marvelously and everybody loves him and I love him too. yeag

#i mean. dq wouldnt help him understand stds more than growing up in a soapland did. regardless #basically i missed a neurodivergent character bracket submission and i was thinkin about him #and like all rgg protags hes just. in situations constantly. hes just plopped into whatever and he excells or fails comedically #rgg #ylad #kasuga ichiban #he's just like me he's got the stinky brain #also the party members who arent in the scene where that '? you guys arent seeing that???' conversation happens like. when do they find out #i hope i worded this right? i think he's interesting rep and there's good things to take from it #like. the hallucinations arent brought up ever again i dont think. theyre like ok ichi but we gotta solve this mystery or whatever #hallucinations/psychosis generally are usually treated as a big dramatic angsty thing #but instead theyre like okay. you wanna go play mario kart? #idk there's something nice to me about it #i imagine it would be kind of a relief to tell someone that and have them just accept it and not tret you any differently for it #but i also dont experience hallucinations/psychosis broadly (probably? tbd) so like. grain of salt on this post. my perspective is limited #anyway i would ask him to help me move. i would trust him to pet sit for me even if hes wacky hijinks prone bc he's a protagonist. etc

[citrine-elephant]

what if zane just had implants in his brain to make him think faster (on account of how fast he can move and process the battlefield)

but it was just that meme of "i'm stupid, FASTER"

#borderlands #why did i only think of this like... 3 years later #legit consideration tho... part of my brain still wants to imagine him as a very smart hyper-genius dude #but in lore he's not genius levels #maybe out of impatience #but could we consider he's actually got some literacy problems #im in no way shaming btw! #it's just interesting to think since he was born on pandora #maybe just consider he has a lot of issues writing and sometimes with reading #like he did better than someone like captain but he still struggles #the idea moxxi/marcus had about presenting someone else to fool your enemies #and under/overestimate you #like how apparently he refuses to take baths #just presents himself as this cold and clean genius badass #but he's got adhd and he's stinky and has some learning difficulties #again no shame in it i try to be aware of that with myself + not shaming intelligence #please let me know if i'm saying the wrong things #the post wasn't even about intelligence but i gotta tag-ramble lol #*technically wasn't. memes but was thinking more of processing faster like a computer

[emmyrosee]

Geto doesn’t know how to respond to pet names.

It took him a long enough time to become used to the traditional “baby” and “love,” it was just recently when you started busting out these absurd nicknames for whatever thing you could be subjecting him too.

You were cooking once, and you called him “scnhookums” and asked him to pass the peppers. He dropped the tray.

Driving, you told your “stinky man” to take a left. He slammed on his brakes.

You’d been painting his nails and got some on his cuticle, and you asked your “little poop” to pass you some acetone. He just took his hands away.

It’s not that he doesn’t… like them, they’re just not quite what he expects. They’re so extreme, so left field that in a way, he feels as if you’re mocking him, making fun of him.

He doesn’t like that feeling.

But what he hates even more, is when you pause on giving him disgustingly sweet pet names. This, makes him feel like you no longer care, no longer wanting to take the time to come up with the gushy names that keep him in a shy state.

And you haven’t given him one in days.

He hasn’t been able to sleep. Nothing major, nightmares plaguing the dreams he thinks should be pleasant, 

“Shhh,” you soothe. “Stay asleep. I’ve got you.”

He merely nods and lets his head bury back into the pillows, your lips press against his temple before he lets his breathing even out once again.

As if your kiss soothed the monsters that dance, he’s able to sleep a few more hours, waking up disgustingly late and pouting to find your side of the bed cold.

He’s not proud of the pout okay, you’re just really good at scratching the affectionate itch that digs his brain. all he wants is his ‘pooky bear’ to cuddle their little ‘chickadee’ and let him fall back asleep in their arms.

He’s sure those names aren’t far in your arsenal of names.

When he finally does come to search you out, he’s not completely surprised to see you, stretched out on the couch and in a state of relaxation he finds envy in.

“What’re you watching?” He asks, shuffling into the living room. You smile up at him and say nothing, but instead pat your lap as an invitation for him to come and curl against you.

With a nod, he does just that, letting himself lay down on the couch with you, his head nestled in your thighs. Your fingers instantly start their magic on carding his loose hair, and his eyes slack slightly at the tingly feeling.

“Feel better?” You ask, and he hums contently. “I told you more sleep would help. You just never listen to me.”

He says nothing, merely letting his fingers gently trace the lines on your kneecap.

There’s a whirl of silence in the room, and he feels his eyes grow tired from your loving touch, the post warmth of his shower, and the cat that’s curled on his feet, keeping them warm under her rhythmic breathing.

“My handsome man,” you mumble, bending down to plant a kiss at his temple. his eyes widen as he cranes his head up to look at you, curved in surprise and a glimmer of love in his dark pools. “So pretty it hurts… my handsome, pretty man.”

That. That, he could get used to.

He smiles dopily and turns his head to nuzzle into your thigh, trying to hide the heating of his cheeks from you and your potential teasing by keeping his face buried.

But you don’t pick on him. Instead, you click your tongue adoringly and press another kiss to his temple. He feels your nose taking deep breaths of his scent, and your thumb strokes his cheek lovingly.

“Shut up”, Suguru says happily, as an acceptance, letting his sleepy eyes close and allowing your affections to swallow him whole.

Yes, he thinks to himself. It’s the fluttery feeling everyone talks about. The air filling his lungs and his head skipping beats just by the tone of which you call him handsome.

You call him your man.

Maybe pet names don’t always have to be sticky and sweet; but it just makes the most meaningful ones penetrate his heart that much more.

And this pet name, he hopes you decide to keep.

#don’t look at mE IM SOFT #geto suguru #geto suguru fluff #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x reader fluff #geto suguru x gn!reader #geto suguru imagine #geto suguru jjk #geto #geto fluff #geto x reader #geto x reader fluff #geto x gn!reader #geto imagine #geto jjk #jjk #jjk fluff #jjk imagine #jjk x reader #jjk x reader fluff #jjk x gn!reader #jjk x gender neutral reader #jjk x yn #jjk x y/n #jjk x you

[chaosandmarigolds]

(slowly sets random sting ray plushie I got for my birthday down) Brain-rot. so I present Dad!Simon and Ollie at the aquarium

Simon! Who was currently two weeks deep into babysitting oliver and it being the middle of summer almost everywhere and everything had been exhausted

"Library time with Miss Rue?"

Ollie frowns from his ice cream,- which you would murder simon for if you found out which is why they were both sworn to secrecy, "MIss Rue is jus reeed-ing Peter Bunny again. No want."

"No want." Simon echoed slowly, leaning against the kitchen counter as he tried to think.

"Big mall?" "No..."

"The zipline park?" (A normal park with a little kid zipline)

"No."

"The animals?"

"Nope. Momma said we stinky after animal."

Simon nods again, the local farmer's markets would normally have a little petting zoo- so that had also become a staple. "She did- rightoo laddie. Okay...okay, let Mister Riley think for a minute."

Ollie nods to his babysitters words and takes another hefty bite of the ice cream, "We could....we could see fish? We see fish."

"Fish?"

"We go fish, in-in big pool."

Simon who spent ten finding which aquarium within a fifty mile radius had the best reviews because if he is...might as well make it memorable

Simon who made sure Ollie wore is water proof shoes because...well he just knew the kid was going to jump into the little kiddie water pad the aquarium had

Simon who packed a towel and change of clothes for that exact reason too

Simon who so has baby shark stuck in his head

Simon who once the tickets are purchased is already trying to trick the tyke down, basically playing marco polo

Simon who held up Ollie without a second thought to see the Jelly fish, telling him how he was once stung while he was down in Japan, smiling to the childs laughter

Simon who spends the extra fifteen dollars so Ollie could feed the stingrays, keeping an arm looped around him to keep him stable

Simon who of course notices the looks he's getting from the group of moms, he ignores them though

Simon who tried to politely turn down the one who came up to him, nice woman, seemed kind- yet...she wasn't...you

Simon who had to get more firm and did lie when she wouldn't get the message-

"Listen lady- I could kill ya without even blinking 'n you are really testin my patience so ho' bout you leave me 'n my son alone before i get annoyed?" Just how he assumed it would've gone down the woman became flustered and excused herself, meanwhile, Ollie was still being held in the air to look at the catfish.

Ollie looks to Simon as he then lets out a sigh and adjusts his grip on the boy, "Ister Riley?"

"Yeah, lad?"

"Mommy said killing people isn't nice."

Simon clears this throat, "Mum is real smart like that."

Simon who gets Ollie a plushie and teehsirt

Simon who feels really proud of himself when Ollie is fast asleep for the entire car ride home

(annnnyway thats it<333 any feedback and all that jazz means the world to me!!)

#simon riley imagine #simon riley fanfic #cod x you #simon riley x reader #cod fluff #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #coco's chaos <3 #mw2 ghost #ghost mw2 #dad!ghost #dad simon riley #dad!simon riley #xfem!reader #x female reader #x fem!reader #coco’s pre k universe! <3

[bigguyenthusiast]

Random ghost head cannons because I’m having brain rot <3

Simon ‘simp’ Riley loves to follow you around when you’re doing chores (or anything really)

You have to bring some groceries ? Well, he has a car and two big arms to help you carry whatever you want, plus he can reach anything’s that’s too high for you <3 come on get in the car

Got a doctors appointment ? Of course he’ll be by your side, what if you need moral support ? Come on darling he’s just looking out for you :(

Need to get some supplies for a project you’re randomly interested in? Not only is he coming to check it out but he’s funding all of your little hobbies, he loves seeing his darling so interested in something

If he finds out about your little celebrity crush, he’s so stupidly jealous, just annoying you with questions like “if he and I were in the same room, who are you going to”

“What if I died? and he wanted to marry you would you say yes? Be honest”

“Be honest who’s more good looking, I won’t be mad” (lie)

He’d secretly want to ask you, if he was a worm would you still love him?

Oh and god forbid if he sees you on the couch with little Riley by your side, reading a book, a thin blanket resting on you, this man will nudge his dog off of your lap so he can take a little nap

He’ll wrap his large arms around your waist as he rests his head on your abdomen, and if you wrap your thighs around his neck, good luck paying attention to that book :P

One time he came home from deployment, sneaked into the house to surprise you, and he saw you in the kitchen, two pots on the stove, one left alone and the other has you stirring it, you had a pretty little apron around your waist, Riley was the first to be aware of his sudden arrival, running to her owner as she jumped up and down, happy to see him, you turn around with a gasp, running to your man that you haven’t seen in weeks, still in his uniform, he’d pick you you and take his mask halfway off, bringing your lips together

You’d tell him to go shower while you finish dinner and he’ll just shake his head and wrap his arms around you as you continues cooking.

He’d be spooning you, both of you on the couch, you’re on tiktok and he’s watching over your shoulder, and if you see a thirst trap of a character, and worse if you saved it? He’s crossing his arms, turning around and thrust his butt to push you off of the couch “what? Sorry I don’t think your boyfriend would appreciate you cuddling with this stranger”

You taught him to use these emojis 😒🙄 and he can’t stop using them in every sentence

Simsim 🍑: I’m close to your favourite Chinese place, what do you want 😒

Stinky farts💨: chicken curry and rice please :3

Simsim 🍑: since you asked so nicely 🙄

Stinky farts 💨: ok stop using emojis I hate it

Simsim 🍑: I thought you wanted me to be more expressive

Stinky farts 💨: I take it back, and don’t forget to get me a sprite

Simsim 🍑: ?

Stinky farts 💨: please 🙄🙄🙄

Simsim 🍑: okay 😒😒😒

#call of duty #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #cod x reader #ghost x reader #ghost #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #ghost mw2 #ghost call of duty

[eddiesghxst]

a very big thank you to my bby @mmunson86 bc she listens and entertains all of my random ass bursts of inspo and helped me decipher the plot to these two babies (and many many others hehe), ilysm stinky 🤍

————

18+ — MINORS DNI

pairing: older!NASCAR driver!eddie munson x pop singer!reader

summary: Eddie's a famous former NASCAR driver who now does paint jobs for celebrities, and you just so happen to need a paint job

contains: oral (f receiving), banter, flirting, and eddie being head over heels for reader <3

word count: 2k

| nascar!eddie x pop singer!reader masterlist | -main masterlist- |

Thursday is Eddie’s favorite day.

One more day til the weekend, things are slow at the shop, and Bug, the detailer, usually pays for lunch. So, Eddie’s usually pretty fucking happy on Thursday— usually. However, it’s hard to be happy when you wake up to a music video of a famous pop singer crashing the car you’d just spent weeks working on.

Now, Eddie’s all for creativity and expressing art in different forms of destruction, but it’s hard to see the art in smashing a brand new McLaren, freshly painted and detailed by none other than Eddie Munson himself. Sure, you paid for it, so it’s basically a waste of your money, but it’s also a waste of Eddie’s time and work.

“Turn this song off, Bug,” Eddie grumbles from under his mask, focused on spraying fine lines of paint onto the car in front of him. It’s your song.  The song that you’d smashed Eddie’s car into smithereens for. That being said, even if Eddie is utterly and incredibly displeased with how you’d decided to treat Eddie’s hard work, his heart skips a beat when he hears the familiar tone of your voice, “You don’t like my music, Munson?”

Eddie pauses his task, blinking a few times to clear the possibility of the paint fumes finally getting to his head and making him hallucinate. And if Eddie’s hallucinating, then his brain is quite vivid because the click of your heels is drawing closer and closer with the smell of your sweet perfume.

Eddie puts the spray gun back on the cart next to him and stands up, facing you as you approach him. Eddie sighs, tipping his head to the side as he removes his gloves. This isn’t the first time he’s met you; no, he met you when he dropped the car off at your film set. You were kind and soft-spoken, with a pretty smile and voice that made Eddie’s chest erupt in butterflies he hadn’t felt in years. You were gorgeous then, and you’re gorgeous now, standing in front of him with that sinister little glint in your eyes.

You’re a pretty young thing, that much is obvious, but it doesn’t negate the fact that you crashed Eddie’s car.

“How can I help you, doll?”

You smile, tipping your head as you watch Eddie remove the mask from his face, tossing it onto the tool cart along with the disposable gloves. “Need a paint job for my new car. Wanted the best in town.” You sweetly say.

Eddie huffs out a laugh, “A paint job?”

You blink up at Eddie, pretty eyes and cute lashes batting up at him. God, you’re perfect. It's no wonder why the entire world is head over heels in love with you.

“You crashed my car, honey.” Eddie points out.

Your hopeful gaze falters then, lips dipping into a ghost of a frown, “It wasn’t my idea.” You respond. “You crashed my car. For a music video,” he drawls, “Do you know how much time I spent on that car?”

Bug seems to take that as his cue to leave because suddenly he’s tossing his tool in his toolbox and calling over his shoulder, “Goin’ to lunch, boss.” And there goes Eddie’s free lunch.

A flash of guilt passes through your eyes before you huff with a roll of your eyes, shifting to lean on one foot as you cross your arms over your chest, “It wasn’t your car.” 

“It’s got my work written all over it.”

“Again, it wasn’t my idea.”

Eddie tilts his head, lips pouting as he shrugs mockingly, in a way. “But you went with it.”

Eddie had been slowly walking you backward across the empty garage, pressing and pressing until you reached his parked car, your body coming to a sudden stop with a hitch in your breath. You huff out a laugh, rolling your eyes for the second time, “Well, I was filming a music video. I just do what they tell me to and look pretty— it’s kind of my job, Eddie.”

“Yeah?” Eddie’s eyes fall to your lips for a split second.

You lick your lips, cocking your head to the side as you gaze up at him, “Obviously.”

Eddie’s lips twitch like he wants to smile, a smirk lingering in his tone as he mocks you, “Obviously.”

“You really don’t like my music?”

You feel like you’re losing your mind. Not only are you standing in the famous Munson’s Paint & Body garage, but you’re standing face to face with the Eddie Munson— famous former NASCAR driver and hot as fuck body man.

It’s like all those Sundays you spent back in high school watching him race as your dad bet money with his friends on who would win are flashing before your eyes. Okay, so you’re fangirling a little bit; who wouldn’t? It’s Eddie fucking Munson.

“Never said I didn’t like your music; I just don’t like the fact that you crashed my car.”

And well, you feel bad. You didn’t know the car would get hurled off a cliff in the middle of the California desert, but it was a little late to protest against that when it was flying through the wind at 90 miles per hour with literal flames decorating the wheels.

“I’m sorry,” you finally apologize. “I shouldn’t have let them destroy your car… which was technically my car for my music video.” You and Eddie share a playful gaze, but it’s soon overthrown with something lustful when Eddie reaches out, fingers toying with the waistband of your denim skirt. “You’re playing with fire, princess.” He lowly says.

You hum, tipping your head as he towers over you, bodies pressing against one another as you dance along the edge of the thick line of tension, “Wanna do something about it?” A sly smirk and glinting brown eyes have you weak in the knees, your body heating up like a fucking furnace as the man silently gazes at you. 

It’s like the spread of wildfire when he presses his lips against yours, a warm hand coming up to cup your cheek as he presses you against the hood of his car. Your skirt is short, and it rides up when he maneuvers you further up the hood. You let out a shaky breath against his lips when the cool metal of the car meets the hot skin of your thighs.

You’d be lying if you hadn’t somewhat come here with the intention of getting your hands on the handsome older man— there’s no denying there was some kind of energy bouncing between the two of you when you briefly met him on the set of your music video. Eddie’s got a way of looking at you with daring yet respectful eyes that make you want to pounce— he had it then when you first met, and he has it now.

He’s pawing at you like he’s addicted, big hands grasping at your sides as he practically devours you. It’s sloppy and wet and so fucking addicting you wish you didn’t have to breathe so you could just keep kissing him.

He’s slinking his hands down to your thighs, hooking them into the crooks of your knees and pressing them up, spreading you wide for him as he kisses down your neck. He reaches one hand up, tugging down at your shirt to give him room to mark the swell of your breasts. Your breath hitches when your bare nipple meets the cool air, and he laves his tongue over it, “W-what about— fuck.” You whimper as Eddie hums, kissing further down your body and fully pushing up your denim skirt to mouth at your thighs. You press your thighs closer together, pressing up onto your elbows to gaze down at Eddie as he kneels between your legs.

“What about your employees?” You ask.

Eddie mouths at your thigh, kneading at the fat of your skin as he speaks, “Just me and Bug today. Open up, baby.” His brown eyes are like swirling hypnotic pools, and your body moves in accord with his directions, thighs parting to show him the damp material of your flimsy panties.

Eddie groans, leaning forward to drag his tongue up the damp spot before gently nipping at the material. He’s impatient, so he only hooks his thumb in the hem of the cotton and hooks it off to the side, keeping it pinned beneath his thumb so he has full access to your dripping cunt. He doesn’t waste time, laving his tongue from your opening up to your clit, teasingly running the tip of his tongue in circles over your sensitive bud just to hum at the pitiful whimpers and whines that escape your mouth. 

Your eyes roll when he closes his mouth around your clit, sucking and licking and teasing until you’re fully moaning, reaching down to thread your fingers into his curly locks, knuckles curling at the root to gently tug him deeper into your cunt.

“Yeah, yeah,” He breathes, “Fuck my face, princess, there we go.” It’s so wet, his voice, so wet and eager and mind-numbingly gorgeous.

He teases two thick fingers at your entrance before sinking them into you and curling them in a come hither motion. Your legs twitch to close around his head, “Oh, fuck. Fuck, Eddie, I’m so close.”

You’re teetering on the edge, heat brewing in your lower tummy as Eddie devours you like it’ll be his last fucking meal. The lights overhead are bright, and there’s heavy metal playing from the shop speakers. Still, all you can bring yourself to focus on is the sinful drag of Eddie’s tongue up and down the entirety of your cunt, sticky strings of arousal and spit smearing all over your thighs and his face, and your moans increase in volume when he slinks a hand up to squeeze at your chest.

His fingers are gentle yet overwhelming as they pet at your sensitive spot, and before you know it, you’re body is tensing, and you’re coming around his thick digits, soaking his chin as you fail to keep your thighs open and sounds to a minimum.

Eddie doesn’t mind, though, it seems, because he only moans and nuzzles his face deeper into your pussy, greedily licking into you like it’s his last chance— and hopefully it’s not.

You must have spaced out because, between the immense pleasure and the sinfully beautiful sight of Eddie between your thighs, you seem to only come back to earth once Eddie places your panties back over your pussy, pressing a gentle kiss to your covered and aching clit.

He snickers when you twitch in overstimulation, “You’re real cute when you cum, you know?” He says before pressing a kiss into your thigh. You huff out a laugh, leaning on your elbows to watch as he stands up to hover over you, pressing his palms into the hood of the car on either side of your blissed-out body. “Thank you?” You say. Eddie laughs, eyes twinkling with admiration as he gazes down at you.

“I’ll cut you a deal, alright?” He starts. Though your mind is still foggy with the lingering effects of your orgasm, your eyes narrow in suspicion as you tell Eddie to continue. Eddie sighs, leaning in further, “You let me take you on a date, and I’ll paint your car— I’ll also forget all about you crashing my car.”

Even if you want to point out that the car wasn’t Eddie’s, yet again, you can’t help the giggle that slips from your lips as you give in and nod, “Okay. One date.”

Eddie beams, raising an eyebrow as he responds, “Yeah?” You want to lean in and kiss him, but you think the heat of the moment from before had been fuel to the boldness that you’re now lacking.

You nod before holding up your index finger, “One,” you stress, “No promises for a second. I don’t have another car for you to paint.” You joke, but Eddie only shrugs with a smug look.

“Sweetheart, I’ve got enough cars for you to last a lifetime of dates.”

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie x reader #stranger things fanfic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson au #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson smut #eddie x you #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson headcanon #eddie x fem!reader #stranger things au #nascar!eddie #older!eddie #older!eddie smut #eddie munson x singer!reader #nascar!eddie x reader #older!eddie x reader

[evilminji]

Can You "Accidental Baby Acquisition" Yourself?

Like? Say you have a You... who is NOT You, obviously, but A You in the Multiversal sense... and their childhood suuuuuucked. Just? Truely awful for reasons beyond their control.

Such as the veil NOT being so easily peirced in their reality and humanity a bit more... Reactive(tm) to ectoplasm, due to the lower concentration of it in the Everything of their Universe. Which makes their parents research? Unattainable. Dangerous.

Ultimately fatal to their elder sister.

And then later, them.

Not that they were even the loving if wildly eccentric parents most of the other You's KNOW and have. Due to that very say research and their long-term exposure to their own samples. The Reactivity.

"Pit Rage" as some circles call it.

They weren't themselves. Stopped BEING themselves long before their children ever came into the picture. If they could think clearly, they would BEG for someone to save their children. From them. From their house of horrors. From what they've become.

And well? You exsist outside of Time. In the Zone. Maybe you have a wide and crazy adventure with this grizzled, worn, badass of a You. Figure he's pretty cool. Ask if he needs anything. And he laughs this broken glass in your chest sort of sound and says:

"Not unless you could give me a real childhood."

Like? Dude. Buddy. My buddy dude. Gonna have to explain that one. You can't just drop that and walk away. We Crazy Action Bros Adventure(tm) bonded. You can tell me. And reluctantly... he kinda does.

And... Look. You exsist outside of TIME. Your mentor IS Time. You can TOTALLY do that.

This.

But like? You realize... there wouldn't be TWO of you... right? If you take mini-Bamf out of the timestream at point A... you, big guy, stop existing at every instance of point B and onwards.

Yeah. Yeah, he gets that. Fully consents. His life was full of bad decisions and dramatic bullshit. He wants a real childhood. His sister back. Wants them BOTH out of that house and somewhere safe. If he could do it himself, he would. Call it his fucked up way of healing. Finally facing his trauma. It's haunted him long enough.

.....well then. Now You've got a baby and a fussy toddler. They have superpowers because of course they do. That house was OSHAs waking nightmares and deepest fever dreams. Jazzypants is hungy. And baby You did a stinky.

This is Fine(tm).

You're a King! You can TOTALLY handle this! Teeeeeemporarily. Since it's not like they can stay HERE. The Zone is literally uninhabitable long term for the living. So time to fire up the ol Brain Meats. Gremlin Ideas formulating. Loading... Loading... Loooooooading. Got it!

You kidnapped them.

Brilliant! FRIGHTY! Where's the Trenchcoat Booze Slu-...SLUHeuth. Sleuth! Totally what I was planning to say, Starshines! Don't curse. Cursing Bad~☆

The Detective Of Loose Morales in The Trenchcoat, who's Soul I Own, Frighty! Where's he at?? *Distant muffled answer* Close enough! Time to give him a heart attack! And throw a fight! Can you toss me a nightmare medallion? I need to instill mortal terror! Thaaaanks, Frighty! Also can you change diapers? *affirmative noises* Ancients, you're the best.

Smash cut to John Constantine. Busting up some cult, as you do. When? Oh fuck. The leaders heading for the store room! Not today, fucker! They fight. They struggle. It's Manly and Gritty and dramatic! When?

A terrible CRASH. Some artifact must have activated. What... have you DONE? *dramatic musical sting* swirling green and DEATH radiates out from a pin prick of nothing. A black hole in reverse. The cold oblivion of space, given bones to claw its way free. Eyes that sear in colors too technicolor and hypersaturated to be mortal. Green. Green! GREEN.

Ice and stars and death and a terrible, unspeakable Crown.

Two... two little sprogs. Tiny bits of nothing in a monsters hand. KIDS, wrapped up in something they never should of even had to nightmare about. John's eyes catch on red, red hair. A tiny little headband with butterflies on it. Pressed so close to dark locks, as she wraps herself around her little bits of a sibling.

The other ones dressed up in stars.

Someone SOLD their fuckin KIDS. Or this damned this STOLE them. It doesn't matter. Not now, not to John. Because this bastard isn't keeping them. He slides like breathing into the waves of luck and chance, odds and fate. Is on his feet and drawing attention. Whatever it takes, he's leaving here with those kids.

He laughs and it's not a kind one.

"Oi! A word if you will?"

@hypewinter @hdgnj @the-witchhunter @nerdpoe @ailithnight

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #danny tricks John in taking the munchkins #john TOTALLY won these infants fair and square guys #he says showing up covered in ash to the next meeting #with two toddlers he has no idea what to do with #so uuuuh #anyone want two kids? #batman put your fucking hand down

[alyakthedorklord]

Agent D to watchtower

(Fic)

Flash And Green Lantern, bored, stuck on monitor duty at the watchtower, cheerfully badmouthing batman together when a notification rings through the room.

Hal snaps to attention, because notifications on monitor duty don’t usually mean good things, but at least they’re things.

Oh holy crap that’s Batman’s caller ID.

Green Lantern and the Flash do NOT scramble like kids caught staying up badmouthing a parent at a sleepover, sending chips and cookies flying. They are professional world savers. Incredibly powerful men. Yep.

“Batman!” The Flash squeaks. “Whats- uh. Whats the situation?”

Whatever it is has to be dire. Batman never calls for help, ever. So it has to be a really big problem. Unless he’s spying on them. And is about to growl at them for talking behind his back.

The line is silent for a few moments, just long enough for Hal and Flash to trade terrified looks, and then…

“This is Agent D, reporting in.”

That voice is not Batman.

It’s not Batman’s deep, growly baritone. It’s slightly accented, boyish and light, despite the serious tone to it as whoever the voice belongs to whispers into the communicator.

Too young. Far too young. Thats a kid.

Hal checks the ID- yep, this is Batman’s communicator. How on earth does this kid have it?

“Uh… nice to meet you, Agent D. Can you tell me what’s going on? How are you calling us right now?”

“I’m deep in enemy territory.” The kid whispers, which isn’t really an answer but definitely catches Hal’s attention. The kid is whispering like he’s scared someone- or something- will hear him. “The darkness is endless. Any and all sound travels here- it’s a massive echo chamber. This is his territory. I’m not sure if I’ll make it out of these caves- if he hears me, I’m done for.”

“Whoa, whoa, hang on.” Hal says quickly, eyes wide as he stares at the indicator on the screen. “What’s going on? Where are you? Do you need help?”

“Negative on the extraction.” What the hell? Who is this kid? Who taught him to talk like that? “It’s too late for me. But I have urgent info the Justice League needs to hear!”

Hal and Flash exchange a concerned look. The kid knows he’s got a Justice League communicator. It isn’t just some random thing he’s picked up.

“We’re all ears, kid.” Flash says.

“Alright,” the kid says seriously, taking a breath like he’s bracing himself for the words he’s about to say, Hal and Flash leaning closer to the monitor as they wait for whatever he has to say. “Batman…”

“…is a butthead.”

Hal stares at the monitor.

Flash stares at the monitor.

“…what?”

“Batman is a butthead.” The kid repeats. “A stinky butthead. He’s mean and old and dumb and a big butt.”

Is there something in his ears? Is there something in the Doritos making him hallucinate? Did a kid really steal Batman’s Justice League Communicator to call him a butthead?

“He’s such a big butthead, we should call him Buttman instead of Batman.” The kid is saying, glee seeping into his serious tone. “There goes Buttman, in the Buttmobile.”

“These are-” Hal begins, then has to stop to let out a laugh or else he won’t be able to maintain a serious voice for the game they’re apparently playing. Flash has his hands pressed over his mouth, shaking. “These are serious claims, Agent D. Do you have any proof?”

“Yes!” Agent D announces. “He makes me wear PANTS and do GRAMMAR! And! And last Wednesday he wouldn’t let me have dessert, and he won’t take me on patrol with him, and! He was mean to Agent A! Even though Agent A is just worried about him because he got hit on the head and got a concussion because he doesn’t have a skull to protect his brain and his head is all squishy like a Butt!”

Hal is nearly crying with the effort it takes to hold in his laughter, clutching onto the desk for support. Thankfully, the Flash has recovered enough to play along with a shocked gasp.

“Is that why he wears that Armored Cowl?” He asks Agent D. “To protect his squishy head?”

“Yes.” The kid insists, voice dripping with vicious glee. “I saw him take it off once and he doesn’t have any hair. He’s wearing underpants on his butt head.”

“Is it… is it special underwear? Or just normal?” Flash asks, grinning madly and shaking as well. “He doesn’t have legs on his head to wear it right, so-”

“The ears on his cowl are the legs.” The kid says immediately.

That mental image is enough to bring Flash down to the floor beside Hal, cackling madly. They get ahold of themselves, swallowing down their laughter to get back to the kid, but then they lock eyes, setting them off all over again as Agent D’s giggles echo through the comm line above them.

“I can’t- oh god, I can’t breathe.” Hal gasps, clutching at his chest. “Fu- um, gosh, I needed that.”

“I’m never going to be able to look him in the eye again.” Flash wheezes. “That’s an image that’s going to stay with me forever.”

“Good. Memorize it: this information will not be repeated.” The kid says seriously, deepening his voice in what is clearly meant to imitate Batman. Flash cackles again.

“In all seriousness, kid.” Hal says, crawling his way up to the desk to stare in bewilderment at Batman’s caller ID. “Where did you get this communicator? It’s meant to be a secure line. Emergencies.”

“Well,” Agent D says, voice lightening out of his Batman imitation and into a tone of sweet, angelic innocence, “he shouldn’t have left it out in the open then.”

“I didn’t.”

Both Hal and the Flash freeze, hearts stopping in their chests at the familiar angry growl.

Batman.

“Uh oh.” Agent D mutters.

The next thing they hear is the flurry of motion- the thump of the communicator being jughled, the scraping of cloth and shoe on stone, the whoosh of the communicator being swung through the air, and the patter of feet running full tilt.

“ROBIN!” Batman’s voice shouts, the only response a cackle of young laughter.

“Run, little man!” The Flash urges, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Go go go!”

“It’s too late!” Agent D shrieks. “It’s too late! The Buttman is coming! Remember me! I sacrificed myself for the greater good! Like the spies who got the death star plans! Remember me!”

“It’s not over yet!” Hal cheers, even if he knows theres no escaping Batman. “Evasive maneuvers! Keep going!”

“YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” Agent D bellows, but a moment later the sound of running is cut off with two grunts, one much deeper than the other, and the sound of a scuffle.

Scrabbling and slapping of little kid hands on kevlar armor can be heard between thumps of the microphone hitting something. Finally, the sound settles, enough for Hal and Flash to hear Batman mutter, “you sure about that?” as Agent D groans dramatically.

A moment later, Batman’s voice comes over the communicator clearly for the first time.

“Batman to Watchtower.” he says, voice flat and businesslike as ever despite the kid gighling madly in the background. “Comms have been compromised.”

“We noticed.” Hal smirks. And Batman was the first to let the secure line get infiltrated! He’s never letting him live this down.

“The perpetrator has been apprehended, and will be punished accordingly.”

“Aww, no, Batman, come on.” Flash wheedles on behalf of his new buddy. Hal is kind of worried too- Batman won’t be too hard on the kid, will he? “Agent D was just having some fun!”

“Yeah, don’t be a butthead!” Agent D shouts, before giggling again.

“You know you’re not supposed to be down here alone.” Batman grumbles. “This is probably one of the safer things you could have picked up. And it can send a distress signal that can summon the entire justice league. What would you have done if Superman decided to smash his way through the cave?”

“I know how to use it!” Agent D complains. “I’m not stupid! I’m good with technology, and you showed me how in case of emergencies!”

“And this was an emergency?”

“A boredom emergency.” Oh god, Agent D is sassing Batman.

“Seriously, Spooky.” Hal interrupts, because he’s actually a little worried for Agent D, “whats his sentence?”

Batman huffs, and then there’s a grunt and a small oof like he’s readjusting his grip on Agent D. “Considering this isn’t his first offense of the night…”

“I’ve done nothing! I’m innocent! I want a lawyer!” The sounds of struggling come through the communicator, but Hal doesn’t think it’s working very well. The kid is trying to escape Batman, after all. “You’re always saying we can’t be judge, jury, and executioner! Put your money where your mouth is! I want a lawyer!”

“Alright.” Batman hums, much to Hal’s shock. Is he really playing along with the kid? “Green Lantern. I’m promoting you to Lawyer. Answer my next question carefully.”

Still a little shocked, all Hal can say is, “um… okay?”

“What is twenty-four minus twenty-four?”

Hal frowns. That doesn’t sound like a lawyer question. “Excuse me?”

“Twenty-four minus twenty-four.” Batman repeats.

“Uh… zero?” Why does Batman need him to say this? Doesn’t he know math? Can’t he whip a calculator off that belt of his? It wouldn’t surprise Hal in the slightest. Hardly the weirdest thing Batman’s got on there.

“Lets add some words to that problem.” Batman growls. “If I had twenty-four cookies before someone was left unsupervised in the kitchen, and none after… then how many cookies are currently rallying for a stomachache against Agent D?”

Hal won’t lie. That’s impressive. The kid doesn’t sound grown enough to have a big stomach. “Twenty-four.”

“No!” Agent D shrieks. “No!”

“Sounds like an admission of guilt from your lawyer.” Batman growls. Oops. Hal forgot that was his job! He should have dodged the question!

“No! Leading the witness! Your question was a trick!” Agent D shouts, in an impressive show of melodramatics. “I want a better lawyer! This one sucks! I bet this guy didn’t even go to law school! Also, he wasn’t given all the relevant evidence or time to prepare his arguments! ALSO also he was appointed by the opposition! Rigged jury! I want a retrial!”

How old is this kid?

“Nope, too late. Welcome to Gotham, chum.” Batman huffs. “Now then, stealing a Justice League Communicator, eating all of the cookies, which were meant for both of us and I was very much looking forwards to, and calling me… Buttman.”

He growls the last word, and Hal watches Flashes fist teleport to his mouth to hold in the bark of laughter threatening to escape. The serious way he said that stupid name… even Agent D has stopped his dramatics in the face of the court to cackle!

“Don’t laugh.” Batman growls, in exactly the same tone that made them laugh in the first place. “I am deciding your punishment.”

“You can’t do anything!” Agent D jeers. “I already told the Justice League that you were actually a Butthead! I’ve eaten all the cookies! All twenty-four tasty, tasty cookies and you can’t have any! I’ve won! There’s nothing you can do! You’ll never get your cookies back!”

“Is that so?” Batman hums, and if Hal didn’t know better, he might think Spooky was smiling. “Well then. I guess I’ll have to tickle you until you toss your cookies.”

“Wait- no!” The kid shrieks, and then the communicator breaks off into peals of desperate, full bellied laughter, interspaced with pleas for mercy and one final, deep voiced line.

“Batman, out.”

The comm channel is cut, leaving the Watchtower’s occupants in an echoing, shocked silence.

Tickles? TICKLES? Batman, the hardass of the Justice League, the no-nonsense, work no play, spooky scary bastard… left his communicator where a kid could get it. A kid who stole all of Batman’s cookies. Who Batman retaliated against for stealing his cookies with tickles.

And his voice had been… not non-growly, but lighter than Hal has ever heard it. Ever. The kid had seemed completely at ease with him, mocking him, grumbling about homework and treats. It was almost as if…

“Oh my god Batman is a dad.” Hal whispers into the silent room, eyes wide. “This is the greatest thing to happen to me ever. I’m so glad I decided to stay to keep you company.”

“So am i, so you can tell me later i didn’t hallucinate that.” Flash says fervently. “He’s a dad. He’s a dad to the giggliest kid I have ever heard in my life.”

“He punished his kid with TICKLES.” Hal wheezes. “His kid calls him a butthead for making him do homework- oh my GOD. His kid grabbed a JUSTICE LEAGUE COMMUNICATOR- he knew exactly what that thing was!”

“Came on the line like a proper secret agent!” F agrees, vibrating. “Oh my god, please tell me we have that saved. Do we have that saved?”

“Quick- before spooky deletes it!”

#dick grayson #bruce wayne #batman #robin #justice league shennanigans #found this in my notes app #here you go #enjoy

[gassydumbjocks]

Stupid Like A Jock

"Wait, wait, bros, I have a big one..." PPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRTTTT

After that Adam could only hear that characteristic noise that echoed in his ears and made him roll his eyes feeling nauseous.

"Will they never stop being animals?" He said to himself, as he tried to change into his normal clothes and run away from the locker room as quickly as possible.

Saying the last few days have been hell for Adam is an understatement (not that the rest of days weren't, a pale scrawny nerd like him was the lower class in the hierarchy). especially since all the guys in his class seemed to be starting to take an interest in being part of the football school team, turning into one of those dumb jocks.

Each day that passed, Adam swear he could see a new boy with a varsity jacket, a backward cap, and that dumb laughs and slangs those idiots used, "Bro" and "Dude" being some of the poor few words they would use.

But that wasn't all, as He could tell, the worse was the gym class and locker room time, those places were like punishment for him, surrounded by big animal brutes, bulking, flexing, burping and farting on each others like pigs after they drank those nasty protein shakes.

As he walked out, some bros seemed to notice him, and called him out "Broo, where you going lil dude?" Parker, Quarterback player and leader of this oafs pack smirked and pointed him with a dumb and almost childish look walking to him.

You could say Adam was shorter not just from Parker, if not every boy in that room, reason that made him fear becoming a target for them to tease and torture for their own fun.

"Eh, i-i was just heading out to next class" he stuttered, feeling the stinky B.O. of the jock approaching him, making his best not to gag.

"Haha, nothin' of that bro, you gotta start bonding with real men more, those books and smarts makes you no good" Suddenly, Adam felt two of the other jocks holding each of his arms, Both of them making dumb laughs and obliging him to get just some steps from the alpha athlete.

"No! Let me go! You animals!" He Panicked trying to get them off, just to recieve a Belch from one of them in his face "EWWWWWWW!!!!"

"Give me that shit" Parker ordered one of his sidekick friends, and then he handed him a syringe with a very strange and dubious origin substance, before inyect him in his neck.

"AUUUCH" Adam cried, once the syringe was gone, they got him free, and he rubbed the affected zone "You are a bunch of... BOOOOOOOUUUURRRRRPPP!" A deep hearty belch with an almost animalistic sound came from his gut, he covered his mouth.

"What in the hell did you do to me?!" he asked, and after some seconds, a loud rumble sounded in his stomach, he put his hands in his gut and grunted for the pain.

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!

It only made him more embarrased, he tried to cover his ass then, but something felt different, as if his body was being all invaded by something that ran over all his muscles.

"Now bro, this will make you fart and burp all your brains out, you'll be a straigh alpha dude!" Parker announced and all the other Jocks there yelled celebrating in unison.

"NO!" Adam made his best to talk "I wont! -UUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRP! Be a stinky-BUUUUUUUURRRPPPPP!!! Ape like all of you!...

PPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTT

The stinky air formed around Adam, as he all of a sudden let a dumb laugh, like the ones he hated so much from those guys, inhaling the putrid air of his gas, and smiling "Uhh dude, i feel bloated" He said dumbly.

"Its all that protein and tacos you had in lunch bro!, uff, man you gotta quite mexican for a while" He mocked wafting the air with a smirk, patting his back "We have a newbie, boys" He said, and lead Adam out to room, where they would go with the Coach office to inform the new recruit for the school team.

...

After two days, Adam was changing his clothes in the lockerroom, as he drank a bottle full of Protein to prepare for his bulk up session, belching after finishing up the bottle.

He got to the gym with the rest of his team, and fist bump with all his dudes, expect Parker, instead he letted a fat beefy belch rip to him and Parker did the same as they blowed it to both their faces after laughing hard.

#iq loss #male farts #male burp #dumbing down #musk #alpha man

[pinktom]

What do you think pink about tomarry content creators getting abusive tomione asks suddenly? First obsidian, then I saw one more account getting and now seminar arts. Is it only one person doing all this?

Btw my jaw dropped with your no filter answer where you said that whenever harry comes the chemistry between to marry best tomione 🤣. I would love to hear more of your no filter thoughts

I have no doubt those asks were sent by trolls. I, however, am simply a hater—I see an opportunity to hate, justified or not, I pounce. x]

In ascending order, here are the reasons I think Tomione sucks.

PS: If you know this post is gonna piss you off and press "Keep Reading" anyway - that is entirely on you. Send me anon hate and I'll assume you're a masochist who wants me to spank your pert, round hinie and call you a naughty, naughty girl.

“Book nerd loves book nerd uwu” trope does not fit Tom Riddle, and I find it obnoxious.

Like I touched on when I was first sipping on that haterade, Tom Riddle values usefulness. By this logic, you could easily contrive up a scenario in which he wants to use Hermione’s skills for whatever reason. 

However, the route that is usually taken in Tomione is that Tom is … impressed … by her intellect. A woman… who is… smart? He’s intrigued. 😏 He’s never once met a smart woman in his life before. And certainly not one so independent and feisty. She doesn’t swoon over him like the other girls do (eye roll).

I never got the impression anywhere in canon that Tom Riddle cared much about intellectual pursuits beyond those which were immediately useful to his goals, so for the very basis of a relationship to be his interest in her brains – to me, it’s tedious and off-base.

And also icky honestly lkjdflkj. Hermione’s two crushes are on a couple of stinky smelly boys (Krum, Ron), where the hell do you go off acting like she wants some mysterious, twisted dark boy? I’m offended. 

Absolutely zero chemistry; once Harry steps in, it’s game over

Because these characters lack any common ground, shared values, or compelling circumstances that tether them together, there is zero chemistry. You can try to fabricate those things with a little bit of crack!cocaine, but then you’re forced to contrive a lot of additional personality traits and circumstances that diverge them from their canon selves. (Which yes, you can do, but it only works if you’re gonna do something really interesting.)

As much as people like to har har about how canon doesn’t matter, here’s the truth: yes, it does. Our communities only exist because we’re referencing shared source material. However much you can bend characters around, everyone knows each character has an essence that just “feels like them” on a deeper human level. 

As such, we all know Tom Riddle and Harry Potter are intrinsically connected to each other. In Tomione this presents a conundrum. I could cite dozens of fics, but I’ll stick to two very well-written ones I enjoyed.

In one of them, Tom was a criminal and Harry was a detective on his tail; no matter how many times Tom fingered Hermione, he was always more entangled with Harry, because the stakes and intensity between them were so much grander. Same thing with the other fic but amplified by the Horcrux bond. At their very first encounter, when Tom and Harry laid eyes on each other, they both immediately felt an arresting connection, with distrust and intrigue. Hermione instantly paled in comparison in both stories.

It’s just like the moment Harry steps into the frame, you see how transparent and superficial the “commonalities” between Tom and Hermione ever are. Books and cleverness - oh but Harry, there are more important things! Like being spiritually linked! And sharing unique and intimate traumas in common! 

Heterosexual Tom is truly disgusting to read about

Look–it’s a matter of taste. We’re all products of our environments. For me, no amount of feminism or fantasy can overrule everything I’ve seen and experienced in my life. ( ಠ_ಠ )

I don’t enjoy reading about women in relationships with men who are controlling, violent, and selfish. Even the way Voldemort treats Bellatrix in canon always makes me wince, because I see it like this … here’s this girl who grew up proud; who was beautiful, rich, extremely gifted and powerful; and she turns into this horrible sniveling creature. Say it ain't so! I wish she'd killed him when he broke her ass out of Azkaban.

But back on the topic of Tomione specifically — I think there’s another layer to it, which is the greasy self-insertion aspect which makes me uncomfortably aware of how much the author’s ginie is tingling at the idea of Tom Riddle lifting a brow and saying, “Is that so, Miss Granger?” while she scowls and tells him to fuck off !!!

It’s of course not the self-insertion in itself that’s icky. It’s more just that the type of person who wants to self-insert into that particular heterosexual scenario is, uhh, too basic for me and my big powerful fujo brain.

And I guess that's gets me to the very core of why I find Tomione basic, trifling, and underwhelming. 

Tom Riddle is allowed no faults whatsoever in Tomione

Oh, sure. He’s controlling. He’s mean. He grabs her wrist and says, “What were you doing talking to Malfoy?” 😠

But so... ? Tom Riddle is a deeply embarrassing, mentally unwell trainwreck of a person. He's so much grosser than that. Yet you do not get that feeling at all in most Tomione fics. His worst character traits are often there but they’re made to seem sexy and flattering at all times.

I’m not saying your run-of-the-mill Tomarry fic doesn’t suffer this fatal flaw too—but when it comes down to it, Tomione doesn’t allow for his unsexy fallibility, period. Because the sexiness of the ship really depends on heteronormative romantic tropes and fantasies, which tend to be quite rigid and narrow. 

And I understand and empathize with why this is; just look at Reddit, so many women in heterosexual relationships already must put up with mortifying, embarrassing, and unhygienic things (y’all know which posts I mean 🙁). 

That’s just not what I’m here for. I love Tom Riddle because he’s a superficial narcissistic lunatic with no self-awareness and emotionally stunted outlook.

I don’t want to hear how he terrified the orphans if I’m not gonna hear about how he pissed the bed and got his bare ass whipped by a mean, toothless matron for chatting in sermon. I don’t care to see him bossing around those wimps at Hogwarts if there’s not at least one student who looks at “ENEMIES OF THE HEIR BEWARE” written in blood and feels tummy-churning secondhand embarrassment.

#tom #server #asks #offensive content #anti tomione #shipping wars

[yoonzinuhh]

RUN TO YOU

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : reader x seungcheol,reader x mingyu (NOT A POLY !)

𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 : office au. boss x worker,co workers,fluff,smut,comfort,hurt,angst.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 : SMUT minors dni !! reader has fem descriptions. drunk sex if you squint but are sobered up and is done with consent.

𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 : this is purely fiction. i have no intentions in sexualising any artist. just for entertainment purposes. let me know if you want to be tagged !

series list , episode 2

episode1.

party lights blinding your eyes,stuffy,almost no room for anyone else to enter. if you weren’t so drunk right now you probably would be crying to leave this moment. but this was nice,the party was nice and what’s more nicer is you finally got into your dream company and here you are partying with your few friends who probably went out to fuck with someone while you were grinding onto some man and in your defence,you’re little drunk.

you feel a deep and hot breath against your neck,probably the man you were grinding your ass on for like the past 10 minutes.

you turn back putting your hands over his neck only to earn a smirk.

“if you weren’t going to stop this moment i probably would’ve fucked you right here” god he’s hot.

“well what’s stopping you” is all you had to say and he is already rushing you into one of the rooms upstairs,kissing you even before the door was locked.

pushing you against the wall,his kisses travels from your lips to your jaw to your neck.,all that while his knees were moving between your hot core. you were literally humping on his knee.

“you sure you’re sober for this ? you want this..right?” he whispered in between the kisses.

“y-yeah just be gentle..i’m fine” you moan out when he sucks behind your ear.

taking you to the bed without breaking the kiss the tall man hovers over you while his hands are at the hem of your pink satin dress that tightly hugged your body.

“beautiful” he smiled and started sucking off your nipples slowly. his other hand finds your chest,slowly massaging it making your bud hard. going down and down he stops at your core,slowly opening up your legs. looking up making sure you were okay he just pecks onto your underwear only to snatch it away the very moment.

your panties which is probably in some dark corner,all wet and stinky while he’s eating your out like no tomorrow. sucking,licking,kissing,tapping. GOD you’re going crazy over a man you have no idea about.

sticking two fingers inside of you,slowly moving making sure you loosen up he increases the speed. keeping his fingers go in and out,little faster and then deeper. you feel your stomach heat up,almost flipping you out.

“f-fuck im c-“ he just stops the contact. you can’t help but whine at the loss of touch only for him to put his tip on your entrance.

“tell me if you want to stop” he enters you. so slow as if the time stopped. the feeling of being full when you’re so sensitive from earlier. eyes shut so tightly,this felt like heaven. the pain was soon replaced with pleasure as he focused on moving while massaging your hips.

“f-faster” you moan,not holding back any of it. you just want a good fuck before starting your 9-5 from tomorrow. and this guy fucks you so good,better than any of your exes,hitting your spot and making you a screaming mess.

“shit im cumming” and you let it out. so does he,pulling out he rolls over next to you.

it feels dirty. sweaty from all the partying and fucking. smell of alcohol and cum that’s literally dripping out of you. all of that when you’re sleeping naked with a stranger who probably has killed people or has a wife. so dirty,so ugly.

———————————————————————

you woke up to the sound of your alarm ringing right into your brain. the stranger who you slept with behind you,strangling your waist so tightly,checking the time

8:10 FUCK. FUCK YOU’RE SO FUCKED UP.

you just stand up too quick not caring about the man behind you.

“you’re leaving already?” his deep hoarse voice startling you but you can’t care more because you might actually lose your job the very right moment.

picking up your clothes and phone,putting them over you messily you practically run out of this place not caring at all.

tags : @thepoopdokyeomtouched @leah-rose03 @wonwootakemyheart @fragmentof-indifference

#seventeen #svt imagines #svt x reader #svt fanfic #mingyu #mingyu x reader #scoups #scoups x reader #scoups fanfic #seungcheol fanfic #seungcheol x reader #svt seungcheol #svt series #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #svt smut

[hcdragonwrites]

Peach Flesh @jttw-monkeybusiness fic

Art by @jttw-monkeybusiness - characters by @jttw-monkeybusiness

TRIGGER WARNING. TRIGGER WARNING. THIS FIC IS 18+ THERE WILL BE GORE AND BLOOD, VIOLENCE AND SEX IN THIS. NON CON ELEMENTS TOO. PLS IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU READ ANY OF MY OTHER ITEMS. YOU HAVE BEEN FORWARNED.

Welcome to my fic! This is like a Filler between Kiris Wonderous comics of the Six eared monster and Wukongs eventual slaying of him. I had @celestialkiri help and brain to pick over as I asked them a slew of questions. They also proof read for me so I made sure i got their boy just right.

ALSO THIS IS A BAD MAN. A BAD MONKEY. I HAVE MAH SPRAY BOTTLE READY-HE WILL EAT YOU IN THE “DEAD FOREVER” KIND OF WAY.

(Though I may accidentally have tripped you all up with this one my bad friends.)

I am also just posting it to Ao3 so the tags can def warn people TWICE about whats in the fic.

ANYWAY ENJOY THE STINKY MAN HIMSELF. (Im sorry sophie i will write you happy i promise)

#hcwrites #writing stuff #hcfanfics #18+ post #for jttw monkeybuisness #six eared macaque #6 eared macaque #jttw au #jttw tag #jttw fanfic #adult fanfiction #sophie #tw blood #tw noncon #tw gore mention #tw gore detail #tw violence #jttw x reader #ALRIGHT THE BEAST IS DONE #THIS MONSTER IS OUT IN THE WORLD FOR ALL WHO ARE OLD ENOUGH TO SEE #pls Mac is so spooky man #as kiri was telling me i went ‘oh shit’ #like he is NOT someone to fuck around with #he will kill you and mutilate your corpse and never think of you again #hes an asshole #a hoe #a cannabalistic hoe #six eared macaque at his most evil tbh.

[sweet-luv-club]

✎ breastfeeding m! Kylar like he deserves ♡

. . . ˚✧.⊹ tags ⊹⁺. ೀ

2.5k words (wow im a horny bastard), informal writing, m! Kylar with cock, unprotected p in v sex, unrealistic sex, Kylar is a very submissive and pathetic (/affectionate) top, lactating pc from cow transformation, BIG GIANT TATAS and AFAB anatomy terms. u got coochie n it'll b called cunt and pussy but Kylar doesn't call u by either feminine terms or masculine terms so it's,,, gender-neutral reader-ish??

. . . ⋆ ꮺ˚⊹ notes ⊹ ༘˚

WHY BOTHER HAVING A BREAST MILK MECHANIC IF U CANT GIVE IT TO ANY OF THE LOVE INTERESTS... SMH VREL GET ON IT /LH also dis is a shoutout to da fellow transmascs like me that don't mind hvin big tatas 2 feed kylar <33 my first full fic i tink!! enjoy!!!

♡ ┆ u 2 are on a date at the part as usual. when u casually suggest it, his brain just stops working. his mouth hangs open and u have to shake him to snap him out of it. 

"uhh, haha, sorry, darling... c-could you repeat that?"

with a smirk, you do. you lean in and suggest going somewhere private so he could enjoy your milk directly from the source. all the blood in his cheeks rush to his cock almost immediately. he is so down bad for u, he's fucking floored u even suggested it.

♡ ┆ he gets more cocky, confident, and possessive during sex, but at this point, he's only squeezed your chest so far, not sure how he could even begin to explain himself. he’s seen u lactate when u cum, he just didnt know if it was overstepping a boundary to just dive in. its early into the relationship so he doesnt know if youre comfortable with that part of your bovine biology. hes a perv but hes also a polite boy!!  well... most of the time ♡ he couldnt just walk up to u and say i want ur milk babe, you deserve better than that, he just didnt know how to ask... so ofc he's over the moon you're the one who brought it up

♡ ┆ absolutely solidifies in his mind that you're an angel sent from heaven to protect him and love him

♡ ┆ he's a stinky little anime nerd /pos. pre-relationship, after you saved him from bullies, he draws u and ur cute fluffy cow ears and massive anime-like tits in all sorts of erotic ways. does all the hentai tropes. fists his needy, leaky cock at night to the drawings he's made of u. when you start dating, it was like he was walking on cloud 9 when you wanted to recreate some of his erotic drawings (bc ofc u pushed to see his sketchbook when he mentioned it was full of only u lol)

♡ ┆ cant go to the manor, kylar isnt comfy w that yet. cant be in pc’s bedroom, kylar doesnt even want a single chance of someone who knows you and lives with you to see u giving him milk, it's his and only his in sight, sound,,, and ofc taste. hed get jealous if other orphans u live with saw yall doing it, bc if they see he thinks theyre never gonna forget the sight..... which could lead 2 all sorts of trouble since they live with u and he doesnt. he wants it to only be his even in memory. PATHETIC /POS so yalls only option is a cheap-ass love hotel. maybe someday youll fuck somewhere nicer but this’ll have to do… not to mention kylar is thrumming w/ excitement. he’s fucking trembling at the mere thought of getting to taste your sweet milk, directly from your heavy chest which was always tempting him… PATHETIC /POS (1)

♡ ┆ at first, kylar cant get his bearings. he sits next to u on the bed, hands politely on his lap while his cock strains against his pants. hes strangely silent until u snap him out of it with a kiss on the cheek. “ah… d-darling, you don’t know how much this means to me.” he says in a shaky voice. you chuckle and slowly begin to lift your shirt, making sure to give him a show. the way your heavy tits laden with the milk he craves always looked like they were spilling out, your bra barely being able to hold them back never failed to do a number on kylar’s psyche. 

♡ ┆ ”c’mon, you’ve already seen me lactate. get me wet first, babe, then it’ll come out.” you tease as you unclasp your bra effortlessly and toss it to the side, your tits swaying with every movement you make. kylar is hypnotized. just a lot of spacing out in general until you two really get into it.

♡ ┆ your back is laid on the bed, and Kylar moves to get your pants and panties off. the sight never fails to make him breathless. he figures the quickest way to taste your sweet milk is to eat you out, so he does, very diligently. he dives in and devours your pussy like a man starved, he does this every time. he just can’t believe someone as perfect as you would willingly give yourself to him, and he wants to show his gratitude properly, always…

♡ ┆ this mf latches onto your cunt with an intense need and desperation. not only is he making his beloved feel good, he’s working to get your milk flowing as well… it makes him especially ravenous. licking up and sucking on your sensitive folds, using his hands to part your lips and plunge his tongue into you deeper… when you pat his fluffy, unkempt hair and moan… “fuuuuck yes, that’s it, good boy…” he goes absolutely ballistic in his brain. it goes w/o saying that he has a praise kink, loves giving and receiving it. he’s especially emboldened when he feels his head sandwiched between the softness of your thighs, he’s going delirious with need at this point, eyes all half-lidded and bleary, focused on nothing but lapping up the fluids your cunt makes. he's fucking groaning against your folds, can't get enough of your sweet taste. his cock is straining to be free right now, but your pleasure takes precedence.

♡ ┆ eventually, he takes your clit into his mouth and sucks hard, tongue swirling around it as he’s making you scream. “K-Kylar!!” it fills him with a sick thrill, like he’s letting all the strangers in this damn sleazy love hotel know that he’s the one making his darling cry out with pleasure. he pulls back for a moment, a string of saliva connecting between your cunt and his lips to smirk confidently at you. “that’s it, darling, let it all out.” he says, as he’s licking a broad stripe up your pussy, “let them all hear how much you love what i’m doing to you.”

♡ ┆ the moment he sees your tits drip with milk, he unlatches his mouth from your cunt with a soft pop, halting the intense suctions for now. his eyes sparkle with curiosity and hunger, seeing you laid out on the bed with your cheeks flushed, mouth hung agape from moaning so much just does something to his fucked up brain. he wastes no time capturing a nipple into his mouth and giving a hard suck, groaning when your milk hits his tastebuds. it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted…

♡ ┆ he kneads at your tit, trying to coax more and more milk out of you as your cow ears flicker atop your head. needless to say, he’s getting off on your moans, the taste of your creaminess, and the softness of your chest… he loves it. all of this, it’s only for him and him alone. he laminates your nipple with spit using his tongue, moaning as he drinks up every last drop. keeping a hand on your pussy, he gently bites down, making you yelp, yet he also felt your cunt twitch at the action… that gives him an idea for later. he shows love to your other breast, licking up all of the milk that had been dripping off to the side as his fingers rub at your pussy, the slick sounds making his head spin. his breaths are heavy and erratic as it fans over your exposed skin, adding a layer of eroticism from his desperation being conveyed this way. 

♡ ┆ finally… the moment he’d been waiting for. he releases his mouth and cups both of your heavy breasts, pressing them close together and sucking on both your nipples at the same time. wow… just like in his hentai mangas. the sensation makes you feel embarrassed, but you can’t deny how good it feels, either… as his fingers dig into your plush, large chest, he suckles, licks, and bites, doing anything to get more milk into his mouth again. some of it drips in between your chest, and it gives him a devious idea…

♡ ┆ he retreats for now, taking a finger to swipe up a drop of milk on his chin and lick it, a crazed hunger in his green eyes. he pulls down his pants and boxers… out comes his cock, blushed at the tip and leaky with pre-cum. “darling… would you be willing to hold up your chest for me, please?” he asks in a sweet voice, and you comply without question. you already knew what he was planning without him having to outright say it.

♡ ┆ he holds the sides of your breasts securely and moves up on the bed, positioning himself under your chest. you feel something hard underneath your boobs… and without further ado, Kylar thrusts his cock in. he moans so loud, breathing sooo heavily as he pistons his hips… he’s just in pure disbelief. the milk that had dripped between your chest earlier aids him in creating a slick passage between your pillowy tits. it takes him all his willpower to not immediately cum… which he inevitably fails. his cock splatters all over your chest, and a little bit gets on your face. “ah…!! i-oh no, i’m so sorry… i couldn’t help it, it just felt too good…” he pouts with a voice whinier than usual. you reassure him that it’s more than okay with a sultry smile, and you collect his cum with your fingers, licking it all up.

♡ ┆ the sight of you doing that of your own volition without him even asking to… grrr he’s going feral! and he realized you hadn’t cum once! that just won’t do. so while waiting for his cock to stiffen up again, he pulls out and lowers himself back down and thrusts a finger into your dripping entrance. he gets off on the sound of your moans, and he reaches down to take a nipple into his mouth again, the dual sensation of kylar’s suction and his finger curling inside you driving you mad. he establishes a rhythm with both actions, and it’s not long before he adds another finger into you, the squelching noises from your naughty pussy tempting him making his cock twitch back to life very quickly. as your inner walls tighten around his fingers, he searches desperately for your sweet spot while feverishly lapping up any milk from your breasts. and finally… he finds that one gummy mass inside you and just absolutely goes to town on it, making you cry out loudly. he reluctantly detached himself from your tit, and as his fingers were pressing down on your sweet spot, he held his hand firmly over your pubic mound, pressing down and quickening the pace of his fingers going in and out of you. it’s not long before you scream his name and cum on his fingers, soaking his hand in your precious nectar… not to mention your chest flowing with milk as well.

♡ ┆ he’s now hard again… and you take a moment to catch your breath. he’s too impatient this time, however, he wants to thrust into you now. you feel his cock press against your overly sensitive entrance but you manage to gently push him down onto the bed to take control of the situation. “ah ah ah. not so fast.  just came, ya horndog.” you tease lightly, while kylar groans and pouts. you reach down and press a kiss to his lips, your tongues meeting each other once again as they get entangled. you taste a hint of your own milk. kylar can feel your breasts pressing up against him, the weight making him get more needy and feverish with his kissing. his breath hitches when you start grinding your cunt onto him, tip of his cock leaking with cum onto his tummy as your pussy presses down on it. your hips buck back and forth on top of him as you take control, allowing yourself to rest while keeping kylar sated.

♡ ┆ when you’re finally ready to have sex, you teasingly bounce your cunt on the tip of his cock, and you see tears in his eyes. “pc- my love, come, on, let me in, pleasepleaseplease- ah!!” 

his babbling is interrupted by you finally giving him what he wants. as your velvety walls sink down onto him, threatening to overwhelm his senses, you press your breasts onto his face. “you know what to do.” you say with a flirtatious smirk. kylar immediately gets the memo, he’s been dying to do this since you first saved him. he latches onto your nipples and tugs down at your breasts while you start bouncing your pussy on his cock, the dual sensations driving you both mad.

♡ ┆ you’re expertly riding him as he whimpers helplessly beneath you, humping into him so hard the headboard slams into the wall from your passion. his mouth is overflowing with your milk like he wanted… his brain is just melting, much to your delight. your cow tail swishes behind you playfully as he grabs your plush hips and thrusts up into your movements, the sounds of your moans and wet slapping reverberating in the room. 

♡ ┆ the warmth and softness of your cunt makes him wanna cum again. poor boy… he was never good at lasting long. “kylar, hold yourself back right now or else i’m pulling myself off.” you tease, but he takes that to heart and whines in disappointment. “i’ll be good… i’ll be good, pc, i promise, just please dont, ah… leave me!” you smile at him. “i’m not leaving you dummy, ever.”

neuron activation time……. his eyes widen in disbelief as affection floods his heart. he grips your hips more firmly, thrusting up into you at such an animalistic pace that the poorly constructed bed almost sounds like it'll break. the plush of your ass bounces back on his lap, and it makes him grit his teeth trying to hold back. he has a fire in his eyes, as if his life’s whole purpose now was to make you cum on his cock. he bites down on a nipple like earlier and feels your cunt clench around him. he alternates between bites and hard sucks as his hips thrust desperately upward while you struggle to keep riding him. “that’s a promise, okay? dont! ever! leave! me!” he punctuates each word with a thrust deep into your womb, hell-bent on breeding you. 

♡ ┆ it’s not long before stars crowd around your eyes as you two climax together with your own loud moans, his semen flooding the depths of your warmth while your own cum coats his cock and drips down to his balls. your milk drips down your breasts again, and even though kylar is weak, he still manages to find it in himself to lick it up. as you catch your breaths, you two giggle conspiratorially, pressing your foreheads together and exchanging words of pure love and affection for one another… right before going back in for another round. you two rented out this room for an extended period of time, after all.

♡ ┆ now kylar takes whatever opportunity he can to bite and suck on your precious chest, pulling you in school closets or dark alleyways just so he can have a taste of your milk.

♡ ┆ ofc it’s not long until you both rent out a room at the hotel again, you going along with one of his crazy hentai recreations. it ends up with him on your lap and you, jerking off his sensitive cock, rubbing his pre-cum all over his shaft as he has his fill of your milk.

#saccha.txt #degrees of lewdity #dol #dol kylar #kylar the loner #kylar the loner x reader #dol kylar x reader #cow tf! reader

[fizzing-imagines]

Anniversaries | Billy Hargrove x Alt! Reader

Notes: I wrote this when I was drunk, sorry

Words: 930

Warnings: None

"Ready to go?", you asked your boyfriend with a grin as you hoped into his car. School was finally over, Billy and you had the entire rest of the day planned out. It was your six month anniversary today, and you were buzzing in excitement. You were so excited, you even picked out the outfit Billy loved most on you - a metallica top, a red skirt and fishnets with old, black boots. Your lips were dark red, your eyelids black and you made sure to keep your hair in place. "Almost.", he said as he reached into his backseat. With a small smile on his face, he handed you a brown paper bag. "Happy anniversary.", he said to you. "Billy, we agreed on no presents.", you said as the bag landed on your lap. "I know, but just look at it. It reminded me too much of you." Now curious, you looked inside the bag to be greeted by a stuffed bat. It's wings and ears were red on the inside while the rest of it's body was black. "Oh, Billy." Your eyes got a bit watery as you pulled it out of its bag. "When we don't see each other, I want you to have something to hold on to." The bat was probably the softest stuffed animal you ever held in your arms. It was perfect. "His name is Stinky.", you said with a grin. Billy laughed at your words while taking one of your hands in his. "I'm not even gonna ask why." He leaned forwards to give you a kiss after finishing his sentence, something you gladly took. Billy gave you one last kiss on the cheek before sitting back down and buckling his seat belt. "Alright, let's get my sweet girl and Stinky to Skull Rock then." You buckled your seat belt as well, then sat your newfound friend down on your lap.

It was a short drive. From his previous escapades before you, Billy knew the way there like the inside of his pocket. His right hand rested on your inner thigh for the entire drive, only moving it to use the gearshift. From the corner of his eyes, he watched you play with the ears of Stinky. It was the cutest thing he saw all day. "You're adorable." He said his thoughts out loud, mouth working faster than his brain. You blushed at his words. "Thank you, Billy.", you said with a slight blush on your cheeks. Your boyfriend smiled at your reply and continued driving. After two more minutes, he parked near the forest Skull Rock was in. "Wanna take Stinky with us?", he asked while opening his door. You nodded and put him in your bag before getter out yourself. Billy had a small bag with some drinks and snacks in his trunk, which he carried with his left hand while holding your hand with his right. The two of you walked for a few more minutes before plopping down in front of the rock. Your boyfriend pulled you onto his lap, squeezing your hips in the process, and added a kiss on your shoulder to that.

You stayed there with Billy for hours, talking, laughing, eating. Neither of you wanted this moment to end, and he especially made that really clear. This was Skull Rock after all - he ended up with you in his lap, making out while his hands snaked up-and-down your sides. Soft moans left his mouth in between kisses. "Gonna marry you.", he eventually whispered after parting his lips millimeters from you. You leaned back a bit to look him in the eyes, followed with a "What?". But he just smirked and started kissing you again. That was all you needed as an answer. Eventually, his fingers gripped into your waist a bit too tightly and you started to giggle. He noticed how ticklish you were, to your disadvantage, and pinned you against the rock to continue tickling you. "Billy!", you yelled out underneath laughter. "Billy, stop it!" It didn't sound too serious when you were laughing. He had his fair share of fun with this as well; your laugh was so beautiful. Your smile was so beautiful. The way the corners of your eyes crinkled, the blush on your cheeks, your furrowed eyebrows. So, so beautiful. You got him to stop by finally shoving him off of you, straddling him by his hips while towering over him. "Jesus fuck, Billy." You were out of breath, face flushed from the lack of oxygen. "Definetly marrying you.", he said. "You're very obsessed with marriage right now. We're only graduating in two weeks." Billy sat back up, leaning onto his arms while looking you in the eyes. "Can't help but think about you as my bride.", he admitted. "And honestly, I got you another thing." Your eyes went a bit wider at his words while you watched him pull something out of his pocket. "William Derek Hargrove!", you said loudly while lightly slapping his shoulder. "No presents!" But that smile didn't leave his face. And you quickly shut up once you saw two matching rings; they were two silver rings, made of small skulls that would wrap around your finger. "It's not the actual ring yet.", he said while taking your left hand. "But it's a promise ring. A promise that I will make you my wife one day." He slipped the ring on your finger, kissed it once and then put the second ring on his own fingers.

"Can't wait for that day.", you whispered before kissing him.

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fluff

[omgjwon]

Tᕼᗴ ᑭᗴᖇᖴᗴᑕT ᑭᗴᗩᖇ ( 양 정원 🌙 )

pairing: jungwon x gn!reader

warnings:food,

genre: fluff fluff and more fluff

wc:0.8K

Enhypen masterlist 🌙( to join the Enhypen taglist please send an ask, comment or message me!)

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inspired by beadaboobee’s “the perfect pair” ( such a good song!)

“won” you spoke as you sharply turn your head up to face your boyfriends who was currently lying beside you on your sofa watching funny monkey videos on YouTube.

“yeah babe” he responded eyes still glued on the monkey

“this might sound random but do you think we have any pears?”you questioned before reviving a rather questionable side eye from him.

“hey! Don’t Side eye me!” You yelled playfully before a pout grew on your lips.

“I’m just joking” he chuckled “but i don’t think we have any pears around here” jungwon sighed before quickly standing up

“Where are you going” you frowned not wanting your boyfriend to leave.

he zipped up his jacket before saying “I’m gonna go get you a pear”

“No no no! It’s fine you don’t have too I don’t even want one anymore!” you responded quickly not wanted to be an inconvenience to him

“you sure you don’t want one anymore?” He raised one eyebrow

“Yeah I’m sure” you said even though you most definitely still wanted a pear

“Well riki asked me to go meet him before he goes back to Japan for a week so Im gonna get going anyway” jungwon muttered

“Oh well have fun” you replied trying to make it sound like you were happy that he was leaving to go hang out with Niki

“I’ll try, Niki can get a bit goofy sometimes” you boyfriend sighed before making his way back over to you and placing a long kiss right on your lips

After a while he broke the kiss before tucking a piece of hair behind your ear and Whispering in that same ear

“I’ll be back soon baby ,mkay?”

you nodded hopping that he wouldn’t be able to tell that you didn’t want him to leave

“Bye wonnie..” you muttered under your breath as you heard the door slam.

You tried to entertain yourself but you ended up getting bored quickly therefore you decided your best option was to take a nap, you placed your head down on the pillow and before you knew it you were fast asleep

*BANG* you felt yourself jolt awake at the sudden noise

“Babe I’m back!” You heard your boyfriends voice say from the kitchen After connecting the dots you were able to use your sleeping brain to come to the conclusion that jungwon had just got back from hanging out with Niki and that the Big Bang was the front door.

You smiled before making your way to the kitchen

“There you are!” He yelled excitedly before opening his arms for you signaling he wanted a hug

You happily ran into his arms before smiling into his chest

“How was Niki?” You asked him curious to know if there was any hot gossip going around.

“Actually I didn’t meet Niki i did something else that was very important” jungwon declared with a sense of pride in his eyes

“Go on” you uttered

“I got you something” he smirked before taking out a box of pears from a bag

“YOU GOT ME PEARS?!?! But I told you not to get me them :(“ you frowned

“Yeah but I know you better then that, I know you 100000% wanted those pears so I had to get them” jungwon muttered

“thank you thank you thank you!!!! I wa s really craving these today” you ranted before opening up the large box and grabbing a pear, just as you were about to take a bite jungwon grabbed your arm.

“Before you get stinky pear breath can I have a thank you kiss?” He pouted cutely and you couldn’t help but give him what he wanted

After your little thank you make out sesh kiss jungwon said something that almost made you drop your pear to the ground

“Y’know I had to drive for over an hour to find a box of pears. is there some kind of trend going on that involves pears?”

“YOU DROVE FOR HOW LONG?!?!” You gasped in shock “and no there is no trend I just really wanted some, but anyway back to the first topic, why did you drive that long to get me pears?” You frowned feeling bad that you unintentionally made you boyfriend drive around the whole city looking for a fruit.

“Why wouldn’t i I’ve got to get the perfect pears for my perfect pair”

Jungwon smirked as he spoke

“You definitely practiced that on your 1 hour pear expedition” you giggled “still can’t believe you did that tho”

“Anything for you” he sighed before picking you up and carrying you to your shared bedroom for a cute cuddle session

#enhypen #Enhypen fluff #Enhypen imagine #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #Enhypen Drabble #enhypen drabbles #jungwon fluff #jungwon x reader #jake x reader #jake fluff #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon fluff #jay fluff #jay x reader #heeseung fluff #heeseung x reader #Sunoo fluff #Sunoo x reader #Niki fluff #niki x reader #Lee Heeseung #park jongsung #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #kimsunoo #nishimurariki

[eldritch-spouse]

PINNIE— important question! BREG’S MUSK, what does it really smell like??? Is it like axe body spray cranked up to 1000 or is it like.. unwashed sweaty underwear you’ve left in the laundry for too long and now it’s both moist and stinky

[Please man, don't make me describe smells, my sense of smell is fucking awful, my brain doesn't?? Categorize scents right.]

He's usually got a bit of hint of sweat on him.

It's heavy. Some people would consider it unpleasant, others would say it's just an overly masculine musk.

He's noseblind to his own scent except when it mingles with yours, which Breg finds to be very pleasant.

#Bregory