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#help she can't swim
shortgremlinman · 4 months
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Help she can't swim is so cool. You listen to it for the first time and yr like. Woahggg cool scream-y indie rock band and you listen more and yr like. Woahhh gay undertones.
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Day #270: Today I Listened to ‘Pass The Hat Around’ by Help She Can’t Swim.
I was quite relieved when the screaming started. For the first two minutes of gentle octave unison singing, I was thinking that a second album is much too early to go all mature. The angst was fashionably late, but it got there in the end.
This is definitely an album opener, in that it’s more of a prologue for the record than a full song in its own right. PTHA’s not hugely developed but it’s the sort of thing that’s designed to get the crowd as pumped as possible at the start of a gig, and… well, I’m not listening to it at a gig but I’d like to.
The tonality’s weirdly folky with the drone bass – I could definitely imagine a stripped back version with guitars in open tuning. The drums are great. I like how they substitute the hi hat for rim clicks and interject the beat with plenty of semiquaver snare fills.
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dreamlogic · 4 months
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2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)
#ctxt#i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70%#i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections#to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh#going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long#while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time#but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed#to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach#and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me#and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually#i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op)#but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever#i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it#money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out#but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now#genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year#and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough#to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last#in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was#bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive#and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there#but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety#it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself'#and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time?#and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it#i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults#i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed#instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things#and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need#chronic blogging
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dootznbootz · 5 months
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lkjsf just wrote a scene tyfuihgujhkl Penelope being the Water Wife™, plays with Argos like this.
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Thoughts on childe in the new archon quest 👀
HHNGNGAUUGHHGHAHHHAAUUUGHHHHHHHHHH QUEST SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT
AGUGHUGHHGH HE'S SO CUTEEEEE I WANNA SQUISH HIS CHEEKS SO BADDDDDDDD
man i didn't realize how much i've missed him. even without my bias Childe's such a fun character and has room for so many cool interactions. i wasn't surprised at all when he got arrested that seems like a very Childe thing to do, also the fact that he was going to ACCEPT THE CHARGES IN ORDER TO DUEL CLORINDE HE'S SO FUNNY. i've been using the korean dub lately and all the VAs did a phenomenal job too, Childe getting dragged off to literal prison is the most hysterical thing EVER
also ok, hear me out. i know Childe attributed his mood swings and the loss of control over his Vision to his connection to the Abyss, but honestly my mind immediately went to the Sinthe potion, since one of the side effects is losing control of emotions which might be tied to his Vision. not sure which one it'll end up being but either way it'll be interesting!!
i have one complaint about the Archon Quest tho and that comes with Childe's fight scene
we were so close. SO CLOSE. TO A FOUL LEGACY TRANSFORMATION. WE WERE SO CLOSE TO SEEING MOTH AGAIN AND THEN NEUVILLETTE JUST HAD TO STEP IN AND BETRAY ME. HE JUST HAD TO RESTORE ORDER DIDN'T HE!!!! I'VE BEEN DENIED MOTH YET AGAIN AND ONE IS SO FUCKING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISS HIM SO MUCH GODDAMMIT AND WE WERE SO CLOSE BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
nothing against Neuvillette obviously, i know he lowkey had to knock Childe out but MAN i have been moth-deprived for so long and i am In Agony
and yes the Archon Quest made me come up with a bunch of brainrot for Childe and Foul Legacy what about it
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How about them going ice skating? Gil is pretending he can’t ice skate so Thena helps him and guides him but then Thena challenges him to skate alone but with every challenge there is an award right? So he says something like if I can skate to the other side without help or falling I get a kiss. And she agrees fully believing he can’t so he surprises her how naturally he can skate. Some fluff and humor :D
you choose wich AU it should be. The Thenamesh receptionist AU or the Thenamesh Ice Queen/ Tyrant King AU :)
Gil inhaled the cool, crisp air of the outdoor rink. There were other people skating, light chatter, the scent of zamboni fluid and hot cocoa in the air. It was perfect!
Thena gasped as Gil fell forward and flat on his face. She made her way back to him in her pristine white figure skates. "Are you okay?"
"Ugh," he groaned as she helped him pick himself up (which was never going to be an easy task in any form of skate). "Fine, just tripped over a chip in the ice or something."
The Ice Queen smiled, though. Maybe it was the light snow dancing in the breeze, or maybe it was the twinkling lights everywhere. But she took his hands in hers, gloves on gloves, and started skating backwards gently. "Just hold onto me."
Gil happily followed suit, moving at her pace, careful of his movements. How could he say no to that?
And sure, he didn't really need her help--not like this, at least. But who was he to say no to his Princess?--his Queen, rather.
Gil shuffled along, not really having to fake any clumsy movements when all he was really trying to do was stay as close to Thena as possible. She had a natural grace to her, as always, guiding him around the rink with his hands in hers. "Why haven't we done this before?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well," he shrugged, smiling at the stunning woman with her blond hair floating around her and the faux-fur collar of her coat on her cheek. "You are the Ice Queen, after all."
Thena rolled her eyes. "How did you become so respected when your jokes are so terrible?"
"Couldn't tell you, Sweetheart," he chuckled, happy to let his girlfriend lead him around. "When did you learn to skate?"
"When I was young," she shrugged, still moving blithely without a care to those who may be behind her as she led Gil by the hand. Everyone made room for them, anyway, between the intimidating beauty of Thena and the sheer size of him behind her.
Gil stared at her, though, eager just to keep holding her hands and hear her talk more. "Did you do it seriously?"
"No, it was just one of the many activities I was supposed to do," Thena mused. She didn't have to explain further, and they both knew Gil already knew what she was talking about when she brought it up.
Just like Gil came from a long line of people in the business, Thena's family also was the foundation upon which her current empire was founded.
"What else did you do?" he asked, hoping to hear more as he followed her around and around.
"I suppose the things everyone at boarding school did," she sufficed before looking up at him again. "Think you can handle it?"
"Handle what?"
Thena let go of his hands, turning away from him and leaving him standing on the half line. "You seem to be doing fine. See if you can reach the far wall and back without me."
Oh, it was a challenge. She hadn't even noticed that he didn't really need her help not falling. Well, if she asked, he would tell her that he had fallen for her a long time ago, and then she would roll her eyes, and pretend she didn't think it was funny, but she'd have that cute smile on-
"Gil!"
"Hm?" he blinked, returning his attention to the woman even shorter than him than normal in their skates. He tilted his head at her, "what do I get if I do?"
"Bribery, really?" she raised a brow at him.
"Come on, Princess, number one rule of business," he chuckled, leaning closer to her, "nothing comes for free."
"Fine," she sighed, leaning away from him primly. "What do you want?"
"A kiss."
"Just a kiss?" she raised her brow at him and he nodded as if she were promising him riches beyond belief. She shook her head at him, "fine, one kiss--go."
Gil took off like a shot, able to propel himself rapidly with the muscles he had. He made it there and back in record time, skidding to a halt just beside her so he didn't get ice shavings on her.
Thena stared at him, her jaw bobbing. "Wh-"
"Sorry, baby," he chuckled, coming right up to her and rubbing her arms with his hands, "but I can skate fine. I really did trip on something when we first got here, but you were the one who started leading me around."
"But-"
"And I wasn't going to say no to holding your hands," Gil shrugged innocently, perfectly accepting of it as she slapped his arm hard enough for onlookers to seem concerned. "Now, I believe I have a reward to collect."
"You are unbelievable."
"Hey, a deal's a deal, Ice," he grinned down at her, although he soon leaned down to be in a better position for kissing. "Business is business."
Thena's lips twisted as she leaned up and in slowly, and not steadily. Her eyes darted away a few times and Gil was delighted to see a soft and pretty blush in her cheeks. His Ice Queen had a shy side to her when it came to the smallest of affections.
Gil closed his eyes, always in bliss as Thena touched her lips to his. She pulled back, satisfied with the deal. But she didn't go far, and that was all the sign Gil needed to lean in, asking for another one.
Thena let him wrap his arms around her, her hands sneaking into his open coat and onto his chest as she leaned up for him. They parted again, her needing to breathe just a little more heavily than before. Gil pressed his nose to her cheek, their eyelashes brushing each other's skin as they hovered still entangled.
Gil smiled at her, letting her pull away just enough for him to get to see those killer green eyes again.
Thena did her best to feign some disapproval, "what did I tell you about kissing in public?"
"Hey, this was my prize to collect," he smiled at her, kissing her cheek, "no conditions apply."
Thena shook her head at him again, although she clearly wasn't exasperated enough to pull away as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Fine; pleasure doing business."
"Oh," he winked at her, "pleasure's all mine, Ice."
"Insufferable man."
"Excuse me," he chuckled, taking her hand in his and now the one to pull her into his pace, "but you still owe me a date, Ice. So I guess you'll just have to suffer through it."
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erysibe · 6 months
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i know bill is racist against native americans bc of his time in the u.s army so like maybe seeing mary in camp from time to time puts him on edge. but he can't say shit bc arthur and dutch keep him in his place and mary takes advantage of that. :)
however, with micah, she avoids him as best she can bc micah is known to agitate certain party members by indirectly attacking their counterparts ( like jack and john, arthur and dutch ) so in this case, micah would bother mary to bother arthur, the favoured.
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making Saoirse a fully functional Vindicator was both the best and worst decision I've made because, on one hand, she's extremely strong with higher damage than any of my other characters... but on the other hand. she's extremely strong with higher damage than any of my other characters.
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pluviacuratio-a · 11 months
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♣ MMMMMM
farmer au making a comeback maybe?
👀 coral island/stardew valley... maybe even animal crossing... hmmmm.
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dbphantom · 1 year
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I'm going through some of my H2O fanfic documents for... reasons... and I fucking forgot that I gave every single one of Lewis's family members names that start with L ahsggsgss. Do you think that his parents realized as soon as they had their first kid that they could do something extraordinarily funny. I think that's what happened.
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dubiouslexism · 2 years
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not to be a freak but i have no clue what i'm supposed to want to do for my birthday
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shortgremlinman · 5 months
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absolute choon.
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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youtube
Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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crownshattered · 7 months
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|| Yes, Kira is from Mondstadt and has no connections to Fontaine, and as such isn't driven by duty to the nation to help the people there.
But you better bet that when shit hits the fan (and if you know, you know) she will dive RIGHT in and help out as much as she can, even for complete strangers~ That's how Varka raised her. If she is capable, she must always help others. So that's exactly what she does~
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gettothestabbing · 11 months
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Car wouldn’t start out of the blue yesterday. None of my neighbors are home when I am, so I called a towtruck and they gave me a jump in my garage. The guy said to pour Coke on the battery to get rid of corrosive acid, which I am 90% sure was not a joke, because he had no other suggestions.
I was worried the issue was way more serious than just a jump. The car is 10 years old, bought off the side of the road after it was in an accident that permanently changed the shape of the frame around the engine. I’m glad it works because I don’t have the time or money to rent a car rn. But I do have to think about how much longer these repairs are worth keeping this car.
I can’t trade it in unless I get it registered in the proper state. Which I put off doing, despite having everything I needed for it, because I hate the DMV more than almost anything else. The last time I was at the DMV, I frowned because I was being told I had to go to a different line and do a bunch of stuff over again. I’d already been there for almost two hours. My frown prompted the worker to start shrieking at me “not to get angry” and “stop threatening me.” It was surreal and embarrassing. We weren’t even making eye contact, how is a frown a threat? 
New Jersey was the worst. Everyone I stood near in that DMV back in 2020 was talking about how much they hated living there and how they were trying to move away XD Even though I’ve moved twice since then, I never went back to a DMV. Lockdown made getting a good time to go too hard in MI, and in OH I’ve been working and traveling so much that I always found a good reason to put it off just a little longer.
Oh, and they cancelled over half of the vacation time they’d already approved for me at the end of the month. They actually cancelled ALL of it and didn’t clearly communicate that to me, but when I realized and explained I was going to a family reunion and about my grandpa’s health, they felt bad and gave me 3 days back. Plus, the AC and the outlets in one room are still out of commission too. I have two fans going at full power that I carry from room to room. And my left wrist feels like it’s damn near about to fall off.
This week is giving me whiplash.
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wife-of-all-dilfs · 6 months
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Hii! I love love love all of your finnick fics! Could I please request a fic where reader is also a victor from an earlier game and she is in an established relationship with Finnick. They both get reaped (not the same district) for the 75th games and reader gets critically hurt in the part where the cornucopia spins. Like she falls into the water after maybe being injured and she can’t swim, so Finnick has to risk everything to save her life.
I’m really looking for like a hurt/comfort with a seriously injured reader and Finnick going through hell to save her because he cannot imagine a life without her in it.
Thank you so much if you’re willing to write this or something like it, feel free of course to change anything to your liking!
two souls, one heart | f. odair
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summary: finnick refuses to lose the love of his life. your inability to swim complicates things, especially when the cornucopia begins spinning.
pairing: finnick odair x fem!reader
warnings: pre-established relationship, heavy angst, drowning, death, bone fracture
notes: thank you so much!!! i really enjoyed writing this, shed a few tears but still enjoyed it lmao. listen to 'beginning of the end movement v' by the newton brothers on repeat for the full experience <3
A quiet nursery rhyme was being sung by the water's edge.
The calm waves around the Cornucopia lapped at the rocks, the blistering sun causing the surface to sparkle. Wiress' voice interrupted Peeta as he mapped out the arena's clock-like wedges in the dirt. Everyone was focused on the map; you should have been too.
Dark blue ripples had your eyes captivated. So tranquil. So hauntingly beautiful. Loving the sea was in your blood, as your District Four was your home. You would think coming from a fishing district would mean your swimming abilities were mastered. In reality, they were practically non-existent. No matter how many times Finnick had attempted to give you lessons, they never stuck.
Neither of you seemed to care though, always too enraptured by simply being in each other's company—feeling Finnick's hands support your body as you floated on the surface...
"Don't you let go of me, Finnick Odair, or I swear to god I'll drown you."
"Will that be before or after you drown first?" he chuckled, though ultimately tightening his grip on your body in an attempt to reassure you.
....hysterically laughing when he got wiped out by a sudden wave...
"No way! I can't—" You broke into a fit of laughter— "I can't believe that just happened!"
"Are you laughing at me, sweetheart?" Finnick asked, trudging through the water towards you, his hair drenched and swept across his forehead.
"Yes!"
You doubled over, knees buckling as you struggled to contain your laughter. Despite trying to put up a serious front, Finnick too let a few chuckles slip at the hysterical sight of you.
"Oh really?"
Just like that, his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you down into the cold water, earning him a squeal just before you crashed together below the surface.
...and washing up on the sandy shore in each other's arms, salty lips capturing one another.
"I'm covered in sand," you murmured against Finnick's lips.
He gave you another kiss before pulling away. "It's okay," he said, pecking your lips again. "I'll help you wash off in the shower when we get back." And then sent you a stomach-flipping grin.
Even though you wouldn't trade those memories for the world, if you had known your life would soon depend on the ability to swim, you would have paid much more attention to the lessons.
Finnick stood closely beside you, his trident digging into the dirt as he gripped it tightly in case of an attack. He had noticed your drifted attention, observing the way your eyes stared at the rippling water, like death was lurking just beneath the surface waiting to drag you down to the murky depths.
He could protect you from most things in the arena, but fear was something entirely different. A trident couldn't defeat the darkness in your mind.
A hand slid onto your lower back, rubbing gentle strokes to gain your attention. Your gaze tore from the blinding blue and settled onto Finnick's face beside you, watching his mouth curve into a light smile. You knew the silent words he was trying to convey: 'You're okay, sweetheart. I've got you.'
For a fleeting moment, the anxiety had disappeared. How could anything ever go wrong with Finnick by your side? The corners of your mouth quirked, preparing to send him a smile in response. But it never came. Something new had caught your attention. The woman by the water was no longer singing.
Wiress had been murdered.
The second Katniss let her arrow fly into Gloss' chest, everything around you seemed to explode into action. Anything that could go wrong would go wrong—Murphy's Law. And it did.
The Careers had initiated an attack.
Charging forward from the waterside was Cashmere, determined to avenge her brother's death. Instinct quickly kicked in and the spear in your hand was sent barrelling through the air and into her chest. As you watched her body slump to the ground, an enraged yell came from the side.
Finnick was fighting Brutus.
With your only weapon lodged within Cashmere's chest, aiding Finnick was impossible. Enobaria revealed herself beside Brutus, displaying her vicious fangs and throwing a dagger that sliced a small cut across Finnick's shoulder. Though the wound was minor, your heart lurched as he cried out in pain.
Before a single thought in your brain could form, your legs were moving. Not towards Finnick, but after Enobaria. Remember who the real enemy is—screw that. Finnick could have died. Your Finnick. He called out your name, his voice hoarse and frayed, but you continued on, hatred fuelling each step. It seemed Katniss and Johanna had the same idea, following behind you with their weapons bared.
Salt water sprayed onto your face, but you paid it no attention. Nor did you notice as the jungle surrounding the island began to blur into one overwhelming hue of green. Only when your body was thrown to the harsh rocky terrain did you realise what was happening.
The Cornucopia had started to spin.
Nothing could compare to the terror you felt as gravity's merciless force dragged your body toward the violent waves surging against the rocks. Just as your lower legs breached the edge, a hand grabbed onto your own. Katniss. She too was hanging onto Johanna whose only lifeline was an axe buried in the rocks.
A moment—that was all you were given to scan your surroundings. Supplies and sharp-edged weapons were flying everywhere. White water was spraying into the air. Finnick, who was thirty feet away, was gripping onto a rock ledge whilst keeping Beetee from sliding into the furious waves. His head turned to the side and even from a great distance, your eyes met.
It was at that moment you knew, you just knew the odds weren't going to be in your favour. God forbid you lived a simple happy life with the man you loved, days spent together on a calm beach. God forbid the Gamemakers gave you one last chance to be in his arms. God forbid you survived.
And with that sudden realisation, the universe, sick as it was, decided it was time.
Your hand began slipping from Katniss's; an unseen tear fell from your eye, and you smiled. A smile of goodbye sent to the love of your life. His face contorted into one of agony, lips moving but you couldn't hear his voice over the roaring waves. Still, you knew exactly what he was shouting.
"NO! NO!"
There was nothing he could do but watch your body disappear into the waves, repeating over and over "no, no, no," and praying his cruel eyes had deceived him. They hadn't.
Dark blue was in every direction you looked. The undertow tossed and rolled your body like a ragdoll in a washing machine and despite your attempts to swim, the surface only seemed to be slipping further and further out of your reach. Darkness engulfed you, so thick that you couldn't tell which way was up or down. That was when the panic set in.
Your arms and legs thrashed frantically, struggling against the water's force, desperate to reach safety or an air pocket. Cold water flooded your throat as you gasped uncontrollably. You screamed as every attempt at breathing felt like fire burning in your lungs. Finnick. Where was he? Where were you? What was happening? Why wouldn't it stop?
Thoughts submerged your mind in terror, and you were powerless to stop them. All you could do was feel. Pain. Fire. Burning
At some point, the Cornucopia had ceased its spinning and your body came to a rest in the water. An eerie calm suddenly washed over you; a sense of clarity stilled your wild movements. This was the end. There was no future. No hope. The world above wasn't yours to call home anymore. You now belonged to the sea.
Of course, your water-logged mind had forgotten that home was where the heart was, and your heart was still beating... above the surface, in the aching chest of another.
Tendrils of hair floated around your face like fronds of seaweed. Rays of sunlight penetrated the surface, turning the surroundings a vibrant sparkly blue. As you sank further down, the water, now a comfortable lukewarm, cradled you in its embrace. It felt safe, like being in Finnick's arms again. Like home.
You gazed at the sun's rays; they looked beautiful. You felt beautiful. But time was running out and the bright light soon began shrouding your entire vision, though not before you witnessed a dark figure dive beneath the waves.
**********
Finnick loved the ocean. He spent most days in District Four down by the beach, swimming, spearfishing, and watching the sun rise and set on the blue horizon. If he believed in reincarnation, he would have imagined himself to be a lionfish or dolphin in his past life, living in an underwater world, free from tyranny and oppression. He loved the ocean.
But that love was incomparable to what he felt for you. So, when he dove into the rocky waters to save you and felt the currents fighting against him, he determined there was nothing he hated more than the ocean. Not as he watched its strong grip drag your motionless body further down below him.
Your back had just touched the soft seabed when he swam far enough down to envelope you in his embrace. He should have swum you back to the surface immediately, but in his distressed state, he couldn't help but foolishly stare at your lifeless appearance. Your skin was blue. It's just the water's colour, he told himself. Your eyes were closed. She's just asleep. Your neck didn't pulse under his touch. She's... She's...
He had no justification for that. Feet planted firmly on the sandy floor, he propelled both himself and you back up to the surface. As Finnick paddled back to the Cornucopia, the others reached down and helped lift your limp body onto the rocks.
"Is she...?"
"Peeta," Katniss quietly reprimanded him.
Finnick paid them no attention. He said nothing but trauma screamed in his eyes. His breathing was ragged and his hands were trembling as he frantically checked your pulse again—in both your wrists and your neck; he even pressed his ear to your chest. All he heard was the waves lapping against the rocks.
"No," he whispered again.
It seemed to be all he could say anymore. No. No, this couldn't be happening. You were just standing beside him a few minutes ago; your eyes were just looking into his. However much he tried to deny reality, it didn't seem to make it any less true. You were gone.
He choked out a rough determined breath, interlocked his hands over your chest, and began pressing repeatedly over your heart. Wet strands of tangled hair were strewn across the rocks like dead seaweed. The usual soft pink accompanying your cheeks was nowhere to be seen, devoid of any life.
"Come on, sweetheart," he muttered before pulling down your chin to blow air into your lungs. The kiss of life. And when nothing happened as he pulled away, he restarted the chest compressions. "Oh, don't do this to me," he begged, voice breaking. "Don't do this. Breathe."
Any moment now. Any moment, your eyes would flutter open, the colour would return to your glowing skin, and your heart would beat with life beneath his hands. Your lips would whisper his name and he would pull you into his arms, where he would keep you safe until the end of time.
"Breathe."
Thirty compressions. Two breaths. Nothing. He did it again. Thirty compressions. Two breaths. Silence. Maybe he should've just ripped his heart out and replaced yours with his own. Death would come for him within seconds but hearing something beating inside your chest would've made the sacrifice worth it.
Life would flash before his eyes and your beaming smile would be the last thing he'd get to see. His last thought would be of relief that you were alive.
Johanna rested a tentative hand on Finnick's shoulder. "Finnick, she's—"
"No, she's not!" he exclaimed, continuing his movements. "She's fine. Aren't you, baby? You're fine." He cupped your jaw, his thumb stroking your soft skin before he pressed his lips to yours and blew twice. "You're fine."
The golden bangle around his wrist glimmered in the sunshine as he pressed on your ribcage. All he had to do was keep you alive until Plutarch rescued everyone. One simple task and he failed.
"Finnick, we have to go," someone said. Who? He didn't know nor care.
Leave me, he wanted to say. Leave me here to die. Let the Careers mutilate my body, take my life, my last breath, but let it be by her side.
Something cracked beneath his palms and he knew one of your ribs had fractured. His arms stilled, half-expecting you to cry out in pain but then he remembered. And with that sickening crack came a devastating realisation—you really were gone.
A sob erupted from his throat and his head fell to your chest, drenching your already-soaked wetsuit with hot tears. Everything else seemed to disappear. The arena, the Careers who could attack again at any moment, the spectators who were avidly watching. Everything.
It was just him and you. He didn't care that his screams and deafening sobs could bring unwanted attention or jeopardise the group's safety. Any tribute with half a mind would know crossing him in such a state would be a fatal flaw. Even if they did, it wouldn't matter. Nothing mattered. Life no longer had meaning.
Finnick pulled your lifeless body onto his lap and cradled you protectively in his arms, lightly rocking back and forth. His forehead rested against your own, cold and damp. You always were the cold one, needing his touch to light a fire beneath your skin. He loved having you rely on him for warmth, but not like this.
"Come back to me, baby, please," he begged almost inaudibly. Tears were running down his cheeks as he brushed pieces of hair away from your face. His lips were on yours once more, heartbroken and painfully delicate; not to fill your lungs with air, but to fill your heart with his love in the hopes it would be enough to bring it back to life. "Don't leave me."
Pleas, prayers, begs, and wishes flew past his lips, over and over. And then they stopped and Finnick simply stared. Silence fell across the entire arena. The birds didn't chirp, the other tributes remained quiet, and the trees stood still. Even the water had calmed, resembling a perfectly flat mirror.
Finnick only had three words left on his tongue. Three final words to give you, wherever it was that you were. He slowly leaned down, squeezed his stinging eyes shut, and pressed a long farewell kiss to your forehead. His eyes remained closed as he parted from your skin, unable to take another look as he whispered his final goodbye.
"I love you."
And then, for the first time since he had rescued you from the blue depths, he felt his heart beating again. Just like yours was.
**********
There was a voice, distant yet reassuring—a lifeline to consciousness. Black was all there was. Coldness was all that was felt. It was desolate. But that voice... that voice was so anguished yet so familiar and encouraging that it lit a fire inside your chest, warming you from the inside out.
In the distance of the dark void was a figure, their body made entirely out of a pulsating golden light. Each word the voice spoke enhanced the light's brightness. "Come... me, please..." Brighter. "Don't leave..." And brighter.
The light was warm and comforting, just like the voice attached to it. Whoever's voice it was that brought the light resonated deep in your mind, tugging at the strings within your heart.
Your heart.
The thumping in your chest was weak, almost non-existent, but it was still there. Though it seemed time was running out. Pitch-black darkness outweighed the golden light ten-to-one; you could feel its cold breath creeping onto your back. So, you started running towards the figure. Sprinting. Until all that surrounded you was golden.
"I love you."
Water. At first, it came trickling out in two fluid streams from the sides of your mouth. Then suddenly, it was spraying into the air as choked coughs forced the liquid from your burning lungs. Light flooded your vision—not golden and inviting, but vivid and overwhelming.
There was something warm beneath your legs, against your arm, rubbing at your back, holding you in an upright position. While you heaved, dry-retched, and gasped, that soothing warmth remained.
As your airways began to clear and the expulsion of water ceased, your half-lidded eyes rolled around the area. Still dazed and disoriented, you struggled to make out what surrounded you. There was immense rippling blue, vibrant hues of green in the distance, dark rough grey beneath you, and elongated blobs of colour that stood a few feet away.
"Just–just keep breathing, sweetheart." That voice. The one belonging to the figure of light that brought you back. It was madly repeating the same words over and over. "You're okay", "Deep breaths", and "You're alive."
Shaky fingers brushed the stray wet strands of hair from your face. So warm. With the little energy you had, your head turned to seek out the golden light again. And you found it.
The blinding sun shining down reflected off his bronze hair, turning it a divine golden hue. His brows were raised and scrunched together as though he couldn't possibly believe what he was seeing. Deep lines were etched into his tear-streaked skin, evidence of his previous turmoil. Those sea-green eyes stared at you, afraid that if he so much as blinked, you would fall lifeless in his arms once more.
"You're here," he whispered.
Finnick. YourFinnick. Your light.
When your eyes met, a splitting grin lit up his face, made up of an inconceivable amount of raw emotion. You weren't sure what to do—smile, laugh, cry, kiss him? Your mind was scrambled, overwhelmed with love for the beautiful golden-haired man in front of you.
Without warning, your face scrunched up and the tears began flowing. You weren't sure why you were crying. Maybe it was because you had just been brought back from the brink of death; maybe it was because you couldn't believe someone actually cared so deeply about you.
Finnick cradled your face in his hand. "It's okay," his voice trembled, tears now cascading down his cheeks. His smile, however, never disappeared. "You're okay. You're safe now. I'm not letting you go."
He took your face into two large hands, brought you to his lips, and pressed a tender kiss to each tear that rolled over your skin. One of your hands rested over his; the other was placed against his chest, feeling it rise and fall so you could synchronise your breaths.
His arms moved to pull you tightly against him, almost like he was trying to merge your body with his. Or perhaps, it was your soul. You didn't care about the pain aching in one of your ribs. You wanted to tell him that his soul was already intertwined with your own, but words couldn't describe the sentiment as profoundly as you felt it.
In the simplest of terms your water-logged brain could muster, you whispered, "You're my light, Finnick."
Brows scrunched together, he looked down at you, fighting back the urge to start sobbing in your arms. If he had been anywhere else, if there wasn't an entire country watching, he would've gone on for hours, explaining how stupidly, selfishly, and incredibly in love with you he was.
But he couldn't do that. Not now. So, he placed his hand over the one you had resting on his chest and readjusted its position. He could feel the thumping, even through your palm.
Your eyes were full of emotion as you stared up into his. You already knew what his next words were going to be and for the first time since you were thrown into the water from the Cornucopia, you smiled.
Rhythmically, your hand and his pulsed together. Finnick's gaze flickered across your face and he grinned. "You're my heart."
3K notes · View notes
seosracha · 2 months
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HEART DEFENDER──────
౨ৎ⸻niki x fem!reader
⸻ synopsis, Nishimura Riki was truly and honestly, your sworn enemy, and everyone knew. You two shared lots of things, a friend group, academic rivalry, and most importantly school popularity. Receiving tons of confessions and notes on the daily from your fanboys and fangirls was nothing new. So you can't help but be shocked when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend for that same reason.
genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, highschool au
pairing: popular-footballplayer!niki x popular-fem!reader
wordcount: 11.5k !
tags: underage drinking, foul language/swearing, niki is an asshole, own characters included, y/n and niki are unrealistically popular but bare with me pls, jay is called a pervert😭, kissing
authors note! this was written for my beautiful babygirl , and it was also her idea so props to my pookie yall!!!😛 also no proof read so sorry for any errors!!
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A GENTLE HEAT falls onto the silk bed sheets, as a flickering blue light washes over the room, a sound waking you up from the dreamy state. You still had a hard time settling into the new reality that eloped you just a few days back. The summer was over, and so we’re all the exciting things you hadn’t been able to do. 
Although you didn’t mind, it brought you comfort to keep your body and mind active. You don’t like to mull over the fact that something is over, because that never brought it back, choosing to focus on every minute that was yet to come. 
Maybe that was exactly the reason you’ve become so popular amongst the male population of Alpine High-school, students swooning over your exquisite beauty, tall, well proportioned figure and beautiful mind. Some looks were only hungry for popularity and full of lust, but amongst all, you also found people who truly wanted to know you, and find out what was underneath the pretty shell. 
Some would call it cliche, to only stick around people who held the same status as you, or shared a similar popularity rank, but you truly never intended for that. Having two of the most popular students in one team, automatically makes the entirety of the group more desirable and unattainable. You never had control over any of these things, but you’d also be lying if you said it didn’t make you feel even more special. 
Your phone vibrates, Song Eunseok’s name displayed on the screen, messages filling up your home screen every second. You smile lightly and press one of them to shoot him a quick reply, preventing him from spamming you with keyboard smashes. 
Song Eunseok was one of your best-friends. He was there when others weren’t, and he was always the one to help you endure any pain in life. He was like a bandaid, keeping you safe from any infectious disease but also helping ease the pain, even if it didn’t feel like it at first. The affection in his tone, his words glowing with secrecy and honesty every time he spoke to you, that’s exactly what made him so notable to your heart. 
Kim Hana was also one of those people to you. Eunseok was good to you, but he’d never be able to substitute for a girl best-friend. You never treated Hana as a second option though. She wasn’t even a month older than you, but wiser than most. Hana always knew what to say or do, she was like a compass to you. You knew you could never lose her, or else you wouldn’t know which direction to walk towards. Still, behind the smart and intellectual facade, was a joyful and bright girl, who had the most infectious laugh you knew. Her smile was adorable and words of affection- comforting. 
Park Sunghoon was also a member of your clique, recruited by Jake who swam alongside him on the school’s swimming team. You’ve never been really close to him, he was more of a friend to you when others were around. That didn’t mean you didn’t care for him though. Sunghoon was different, he was very secretive and smart. He didn’t ever try, but always succeeded. He wasn’t flashy about it either, keeping most of his success to himself. 
Jake, who recruited Sunghoon, used to be your best-friend. You grew up with him, just like in every childhood best-friends movie, the two of you did everything together. Just like you, he moved out of his home country in his early years, which was one of the many things you had in common and could empathize about. You decided to go to the same highschool, following the promise you made in 4th grade; that you’ll always stick together. The reciprocation brought you a feeling of comfort and safety, at first you didn’t mind when he started getting closer with Nishimura Riki because you trusted him. You trusted him enough, and turned a blind eye enough until your once best friend wasn’t yours anymore. 
You tried to ignore the low pain it gave you, small weebs formed in your mind as you tried to justify Jake’s behavior, arguing that he still speaks to you so kindly. You were still in the same group together, spending most of your days together and laughing sweetly at the smallest things. But instead of calling you, he’d call Niki, instead of hanging out with you on the weekends, he’d hang out with Niki and instead of inviting you as his plus one to events, he’d invite Niki. 
That’s exactly why you hated Nishimura Riki, the last member of the seemingly ‘popular kid’ clique you formed. 
Niki was equally attractive and popular as you. He embodied a typical, bookish bad-boy character, the smitten look on his face winning girls hearts over every time. He was also a member of the football team, already earning a full ride scholarship for his sports successes. He was already an intelligent boy, but a free entry to college was nothing he’d deny. He was vastly athletic, but always dreamed of going to university. Niki may not have looked the part, but he truly was much more ambitious than many would guess. 
He didn’t have many reasons to hate you, but the sole fact that you were unbeatable, the first rank in school always alongside your name. He always stood proudly next to you on class president election day, but always ended up getting hurt when once again, you were chosen. Everyone loved you and even though he had his fair share of fans, he could never compare. 
So the satisfaction that taking away your best-friend from you brought him, was enough to console his damaged pride. It was enough to compensate for his stolen spotlight. 
You both had reasons to hate each other, and never even considered talking it out, even if you shared a friend group. Passive aggressive comments, and sarcastic remarks were enough to satisfy yours and Niki’s mind. 
___________
Niki, with his fair share of popularity, couldn’t get away from constant love letters clogging up his locker, or girls' heartfelt love confessions. With the face of an angel and skills of a child prodigy, it was inevitable in some way. Those same girls were the reason for his incredibly and annoyingly large ego. 
“Niki!” the brunette caught his attention with her squeaky and high pitched voice. 
He turned around to catch a glimpse at her, only to find her with a pink glittery box in hand. Niki could sense another thought out, insanely touching confession coming his way. 
“Do I know you?” he asked, trying his best to not make a rude face at the girl. At the end of the day he was the it-boy at his high-school, and had an image to upkeep. 
“You could get to know me. We have chemistry together!” she replied happily, completely neglecting the fact that his reply itself was a bit rude to begin with. 
“Is that supposed to be some sort of pickup line?” Niki chuckled, running a hand through his hair as his shoulder fell to his right. He leaned on the lockers trying to remember the girl he was speaking to. 
She pulls at the fabric of his blazer, a frisky look on her face “It could be if you want it to be” 
He felt his body tensing up, a wave of uncomfort speeding through his veins. He was used to girls shoving themselves onto him, but why couldn’t he be viewed as an equal to them? Just because he has stolen many women's hearts, didn’t mean he didn’t want to be treated with dignity and respect. 
He could feel a bead of sweat trickle down his spine as the unknown girl pushed her body closer and closer. His white shirt started to suffocate him, feeling the box she had in her hands press against his stomach. 
He could barely read the name Oh Jia off the girl's name tag, before backing away, making her stumble a little bit. 
“Don’t you think you’re getting a little too comfortable, Jia?” he asked. 
She took a deep breath. She thinks of the many nights she’d seen the boy infront of her standing proudly with a confident smile as he pulls her closer to his body. She is taken aback by the difference, wondering how she could've gotten so easily deceived by her own head to fall for such a fabricated version of Nishimura Riki, She had swooned over the cover, just like many girls before and after her. 
This was one of the many daily confessions the boy would receive. Some happened to be much more friendly and cute, even making Niki’s heart a little warmer. Some students just liked to test his limits, see how easy he can actually be. He hated that. He hated not being treated like a human being but rather a school attraction they all got to take turns trying out. 
Although you were sworn enemies, the similarity between yours and Niki’s experience love wise, was undeniable. 
“What is my pretty girl doing all alone? Where did all your friends go?” Hyunsik, a member of the student council, asked with a flirtatious tone stopping you from getting to your history class. 
“Yours?” you questioned with a calm voice, having an idea of who Hyunsik was. 
He smiled, wondering why you always played so hard to get. He was gorgeous, so what was your problem to just give into his warm embrace? 
“Don’t be like that” he answered, using his hand to push a strand of  loose hair behind your ear. 
You felt so incredibly uncomfortable. You had known Hyunsik for some time now, as the class president you did have to consult on important issues with him. 
“What do you mean, Hyunsik?” you asked, a wonky smile on your face as you tried to give the boy a sign that you weren't interested in him. 
“You know what I mean. C'mon Y/n, you don’t have to play so hard to get. We could have fun, I’d make you feel so good and happy” he confessed, his stance radiating confidence which was unbreakable. 
He was attractive, but his personality and ego completely erased any chances of scoring a date with you or many other girls. 
“I’m interested in someone else” you answered, backing away from him. 
“You always say that, yet you're still single” he said, offended by your relectuance. 
“I don’t think that’s any of your business though, Hyunsik. I have to go now” you said, not letting him say anything else. 
This wasn't the first time boy’s just assumed you’d be easy like that. Just like Niki, you hated it. You didn't mind the confessions, as long as they were kept cute and respectful. You hated being mean, and these situations just forced it out of you. 
__________ 
“Why don’t we call Minjun over here, you’ve been hanging out with him a lot, right?” Hana asked, turning to you. She shuffles to grab her phone, but you stop her. 
Niki rolled his eyes at her words, not in the mood to stubbornly try to keep a civil conversation with Minjun. Kim Minjun was a member of the football team, and the number two placeholder in school. He really was handsome- slim face and a defined jawline, dark thick hair, eyebrows not touched once but seemingly shaped by Aphrodite herself, captivating siren eyes that made you fear eye contact, and lastly plump cherry lips. You could go on about Minjun’s beauty for days and not get bored of the topic. 
He notoriously fought with Niki for the team captain position, and although never achieved it, still managed to be disliked by Niki. They had a visible rivalry. While Niki tried to beat Minjun for second place, Minjun tried to beat Niki for the team captain spot. The passive aggressive remarks only made it worse, but for the sake of the team they kept, or at least tried to keep it civil. 
It reminded you of your friend group. You always tried your best to hide your deep rooted hatred for Niki around everyone, for the sake of their peace. The difference was that Niki never tried. He couldn’t bear a minute without making a sneaky and rude comment towards you. In some way it made you feel better about yourself, knowing that you're mature enough to not bother your friends with your private issues. 
“He’s probably with the team” you answered, and she pouted at your response.
“He wouldn’t want to sit with Miss Perfect here, anyways” Niki snickered, poking at his lunch uninterested in what he saw on the metal tray. The pork cutlet seemed awfully indigestible today. 
“I think you’re more so the problem” Hana defended, knowing you wouldn’t probably respond to him. 
“It’s not like Minjun is perfect, c'mon. He’s an annoying, selfious fuckboy” Jake said, in an attempt to clear Niki’s name. 
But why couldn’t he defend you? Did he really dislike you that much? 
“He really isn’t though” you responded, and Jake seemed taken aback by your change in demeanor. 
It almost looked like he felt entitled to say anything, but you had no right to respond to him unless you weren’t agreeing with him. Maybe that was what was left after your friendship of 10 years, the entitlement. 
“Of course you’d say that, because you probably want him like all his other fangirls” Niki smirked, and pushed away his tray. 
“Dude, leave it. Can we just have a peaceful lunch period for once?” Sunghoon spoke up, looking up from his English notes. 
He usually never said anything whenever these tense situations happened. Sunghoon kept quiet, listening in on the meaningless words leaving your mouths. 
“I’m gonna go” you rose from your chair, and picked up all your things. Hana tried to stop you, but her attempts were useless, as you gave her a small smile and left the table. 
“Well, I will too then” Niki announced trailing right after you. 
He walked towards you, a stupid look displayed on his face. You hated that you didn’t have any power over him, letting him treat you like this for no good reason. 
“If you want to continue telling me how awful Minjun is, I really suggest you leave it, cause I’m not going to change my mind” you turned to him, as he stopped next to you by the lockers. 
“I just want to get some books from my locker, can’t I?” he tilted his head, and smirked evilly when he saw your annoyed look. 
Another thing you hated was having a locker right next to his. Whoever assigned them, must truly despise you.  Or potentially pray for your downfall.
He just scoffed at your lack of interest, and started to rummage through his pocket for the small key to his locker. 
As soon as both of your locker doors opened, a swarm of notes and pink, red or purple little envelopes fell out. Some were cutely decorated, with adorable glittery stickers, some just a simple paper ripped out of the author's notebook. 
You two looked at each other confused. You knew Niki was popular, and Niki knew you were popular, but not to this extent. 
It wasn’t an issue, for a long time, but as comical as it sounded this was starting to get annoying pretty quickly. Sometimes the both of you wondered what made you so special, what made you stand out so much. Was it the academic success that no other student seemed to achieve yet? Maybe it was the physical tasks that you conquered without breaking a sweat? Or was it just your appearance that was unique among all? 
His mind was rushing, but one idea came out on top of the bubble of thoughts. 
______ 
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Niki” you laughed at his absurd idea, wondering if Jake is somewhere recording this secretly. 
Niki can’t yet tell if you’ll buy it or not. The silence sinks into his skin, as the imprisoning walls surrounding you seem to close on him. Did he really just say that out loud? 
“Listen, we can just pretend to un-hate each other or something, and then date. It’s all fake, obviously. Do you think I’d want someone like you to be my girlfriend?” he responds. “We can’t tell anyone though” 
“I don’t think that’s a good idea” you mumble, and he chuckles. 
“Oh please don’t tell me this is about Minjun?” 
You look at him annoyed. Why does he suddenly care so much about your relationship with Kim Minjun? 
 “And what if it is?” you roll your eyes, turning away from his tall figure. 
“He doesn’t care about you, Y/n. Can’t you just agree, we both get something out of it” he says, exasperated. 
He reaches for your small shoulder, turning your body in his direction. He holds you while silence embraces the both of you. The sun subtly shines through the small window of the equipment room, illuminating his face, a sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you. 
“What is in it for me?” you ask quietly, the moment between the two of you, making your heart beat faster. 
Niki softens at the concern in your tone. 
He knew you liked Minjun, everyone did, but this much? Did you really care for that douchebag? Did you lay on your bed at night, your thoughts always coming back to Kim Minjun? What did he do to steal your cold heart so easily? 
“An empty locker, that’s for sure” he lets go of you “And assholes like Hyunsik won’t annoy you anymore, isn’t that enough?” he adds, his tone laced with confidence. 
“You know about Hyunsik?” you ask curiously. 
He stifles a sharp inhale, realization hitting him. 
Did you think he cares? He doesn’t. He couldn’t care less. 
He tries to calm his unsteady nerves, preventing himself from saying anything that could damage his uninterested approach to your person even more. 
“Eunseok told me,” he answered quickly, his gaze turning to the small window. 
You never told Eunseok. 
You never told anyone cause this wasn’t something abnormal. Yes, maybe Hyunsik was a bit forward about it, pushing himself onto you, but you just forgot about it after some time. 
“Alright’ you clear your throat “Let’s do it” 
Niki feels an unfamiliar warmth in his heart, trying to stifle the excitement that took over his body when he heard your words. 
“But what about our friends, Niki? Do you seriously think Sunghoon or Jake are that stupid?” you ask 
It floods him again; the comfort of his name passing your lips, and he doesn’t know why. He’s never felt this way. 
“Hana is a hopeless romantic, she’ll believe anything if you slap a ‘boyfriend’ label on it. Eunseok and Sunghoon don't care anyway, and Jake? I’ll figure it out” he answers, his voice so calm “Everyone else will just believe it as long as we make it believable” he proceeds cautiously, putting emphasis on the ‘we’.  
“I don’t get not telling our friends, honestly” you murmured, looking around the room. 
He sighed “No offense to Hana, but she’s the biggest blabbermouth I know” he confesses. 
You agree internally, not wanting to admit it, too proud of your friendship with the girl. 
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow” he says after a moment of tranquility, leaving the room after he finishes his sentence. 
You watch him step out and leave you alone with all the thoughts and worries. 
______
And so he did pick you up. 
You wondered if Niki had cleaned up his car for you, remembering the mess last time you were in it. Probably not though. 
“Let’s go,” he said, keeping the door open for you. 
He grabbed your hand tightly, pulling through the crowd of students gathered in front of the building. Some had a stupid look on their face, wondering how the two of you could ever be dating, some didn’t even budge. 
Your chest swells with a torment of emotions, as you feel his warm, wrought hand grip yours. Pride, confusion, determination swarm through your veins, making a mess of your head. You press your knuckles to the warmth of your cheek, flustered by the looks you were receiving. 
Your eyes scan the whole building, trying to find Minjun, worried what he’d say when he finds out. You never wanted him to think you were just playing with him, and by the looks of it, that’s exactly what he was thinking when his eyes spotted yours. 
A sad look of disappointment decorated his face, as you passed by, holding Nishimura Riki’s hand so tightly. 
You screw your eyes shut, chest rising and falling rapidly. You want to tell him everything, you know you could. But there was a boundary you promised to not cross, for yours and Niki’s peace. 
“This is bullshit” Sunghoon raises his eyebrows, as the two of you appear in front of all your friends. 
“The assignment you wrote for my physics class was bullshit, and I didn’t say anything. This-” he says pointing to your intertwined hands “This is for real, the real deal” he adds proudly. 
How long has he been acting? 
“When did all of this happen?” Hana asks excitedly. 
You didn’t like agreeing with Niki, and even though it was sad to a degree, Hana really was gullible. 
You smile “We just started talking, I guess. It really happened naturally” 
How long have you been acting? 
“But weren’t you just fighting last week? And I thought you had a thing for Minjun?” Eunseok asked. He wasn’t supposed to care. 
“No, no, Minjun is just a friend” you answer after a moment. 
Niki was surprised at your lack of hesitation, no signs of nervousness. 
“Well congrats then. I’m happy for you guys” Jake smiled, and his acknowledgment meant the world to you. 
You couldn’t not care for him after all this time spent together. You wished you didn’t care about what he thought, what he was up to, because it was no longer your place to ask or wonder. 
“I hope Minjun doesn’t feel sad” Hana ponders, her soft heart melting for the boy. 
You laugh at her kindness, but deep down you know she’s right “I doubt. I think I made it clear to him that I’m not interested” you reply in an attempt to calm her nerves. 
“I hope so, he’s really a good guy” she mumbles, a look of frustration on her face. 
You wonder why. 
“He isn’t but whatever” Niki professes, a disgusted tone lacing his voice. 
Eunseok laughs “One day anniversary and he’s already jealous” 
You never expected them to be so gullible, to fall for such a fabricated lie, but here they were laughing and making jokes about the two of you. It was hard to lie to your friends, especially Eunseok and Hana, but something in your head kept convincing you that this was indeed a good idea. 
“You should’ve made a big reveal at the game” Hana acknowledges, a sweet smile on her face as she imagines herself in your position. “Our school would win, everyone cheering you on and then boom- you run up to Y/nnie and kiss her” she tells, a twinkle to her eyes. 
Niki laughs, and this time it seems genuine. He likes the thought of that, but can’t quite figure out why. Air is taken out of his lungs as he imagines carefully taking your jaw in one hand, and pressing a sweet kiss to your soft lips, as everyone cheers him on for leading the team to yet another victory. 
He can’t be thinking straight. 
“That’s a little bizarre don’t you think?” Sunghoon asks Hana, remembering watching something similar with the girl. 
Hana shakes her head, and he just chuckles at her persistence “I’m just giving him ideas, subtly” 
“Very subtle” Niki answers, and she winks at him. 
“Are we still on for the after party at yours?” Eunseok asks, turning his head towards Jake who seems to be totally out of it, as he hurriedly copies Sunghoon's chemistry homework. 
“Yeah, yeah. No matter if we win” he mumbles, devoted to a completely different world at the moment. 
A small smile forms on your face. You would definitely hold Niki tight, making sure no girl pulls him out of your grasp for a quick seven minutes in heaven. It’s all fake, though. Nothing more than just a pact between two sworn enemies who want a little more peace in their life. 
“Even if we lose, we still need to celebrate a good game” Niki smiles, and Eunseok smiles at his attitude. 
“With a captain like you my guy, we ain’t never losing” Eunseok winks at Niki, receiving a small laugh and bow from the boy. 
You felt guilty. This was the first time in a while when everything felt so gratifying and free amongst your friend group. With the constant fighting and teasing you never seemed to notice the charming dynamic between everyone. It felt like all along the both of you were the problem, and maybe your friends accepted this suspicious relationship so quickly, because it meant they got to experience moments like this once again. 
“What do these fucking hieroglifs say, I can’t decipher this shit” Jake grunts with frustration, as he pulls the notebook closer. 
Sunghoon laughs and tries to carefully explain every line of text to Jake. 
Maybe you were too focused on your own problems with Niki to notice that this is what could’ve been of your friend group. 
____
You and Niki seemed to get closer as time passed. 
The both of you didn’t even notice it, the barrier between you passing by like a breeze. It came all so naturally, and you never knew you’d have so much in common with the boy you swore you hated. 
You would accustom him to his practice sometimes, and he’d proudly show you off to all his teammates. The lines between faking it and being truthful have faded by now, confusing your heart a little. But just a little. Because at the end of the day it was fake. 
“I think it’s time you pay me back,” Niki said, a mischievous smile decorating his face. 
You looked at him with a confused expression “For what exactly?” 
He smiles, and brings his backpack to his chest, rummaging through it to find the key item. 
Niki was smart, very smart. He didn’t earn the number three rank for no reason, proudly representing the school on the pitch and in numerous academic competitions. Yet his mind couldn’t quite understand anything written in his physics textbook. He passed by fine, but it never satisfied him to cheat on his tests, and pay Sunghoon to do his homework for him. 
“Tutoring? Seriously? And what did you do to deserve it?” you asked, raising your eyebrow. 
He smiles widely “Well I haven’t seen any sappy men bothering you, so I think you owe me this one” 
“I haven’t seen any sappy girls bothering you either, so I thought we were even” you answer, not giving into his request just yet. 
You knew you’d do it. You did everything he asked you to do. 
“C’mon Y/n! I need your help, just this one time, please?” he pleaded, a pout on his face “I won’t be able to play in the game this week if I don’t get a good grade on this test” he adds in an attempt to convince you. 
You laugh at his desperation, and nod your head “Fine, but you owe me one” 
He nods hurriedly, and pulls out all the things you’ll need to give him the greatest tutoring session ever. 
“Imagine you’re driving a car” you said sketching a simple diagram “When you hit the brakes, what happens?” 
Niki furrowed his eyebrows, and you wondered how he couldn’t comprehend such a simple concept as Newton's laws. It was cute in a way. 
“Well I slow down, but that’s too obvious. This is probably a much more complex answer, isn’t it?” he pondered the question. 
“No Niki, it’s that simple” you laugh “That’s Newton's first law in action. An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an external force. When you hit the brakes, you apply force to the car, causing it to decelerate” 
His eyes lit up in understatement, as he tried to solve another question you threw at him. 
“Was it really that hard?” you asked him with a small smile, and he hesitated at first. 
His eyes glazed through the notebook, but soon enough he answered “Not really. It was much better when you explained it rather than Ms. Lee” 
“I’m glad” you answered “If it’s really that bad, you can ask me for help” 
“It really isn’t that bad though” Niki answered, with a chuckle. 
“Oh c’mon you don’t even understand Newton's laws, it is bad” you reply. 
“Okay you geek, I get it. But I thought I have to deserve your tutoring?” he questioned, a small smirk on his face. 
“You gotta help out a dumb bitch once in a while” he pretends to be offended at your words. 
Not so long ago, he’d probably blow up at you for those words. He’d probably make a scene, resulting in everyone being uncomfortable for a good two days. This time was different. You were different. 
“The way you talk to me- it’s unlike you” you inquire suddenly, after a moment of calming silence. 
“How come?” Niki asks, not raising his gaze from the workbook. 
“Your voice is softer” you smile, and he can’t help but reciprocate. 
It brings him a weird comfort. The words passing by your lips, make his heart warmer, a trickling yet pleasing feeling in his spine. He can’t quite pinpoint the moment you touched his mind so intimately, erasing any barrier between you and him. Being with you felt so easy. It feels so easy, that he even forgets why he hated you in the first place. 
“Are you coming to my game?” he asked, a new found passion for physics coursing through his veins as he solves yet another problem with ease. 
You looked at him adoringly “Obviously” 
He chuckled “I’m glad” he looked up at you “But I thought you hated football” 
Well you did. You hated it because Niki played it. But even if he didn't ask you, you’d come. 
“I just don't understand it, that’s all” you gave him a half smile, looking through his textbook for any more challenging questions for Niki to solve. 
“You don't have to be there if you don't want to, Y/n” 
You seem to enjoy the way your name slips his lips so delicately. 
“No no, I want to be there for you, and I think It’d be sus if I didn't show up. Plus, Hana has some new crush and wants to see him play” you chuckle, and so does Niki, noting that the girl falls in love with anyone and everybody. 
“Is it Jay? I’ve seen them mingling before” he questions and you shake your head. 
“Jay was last month, old news. I think his name is Sungchan? Or Seunghan, I don't know” you ponder the question, going back to that one conversation you had with the girl about her new love interest. 
The possibility that he’s also not the guy she likes now is very high-her heart swooning for any man that gives her the time of day. 
Hana was gorgeous and incredibly sweet. No wonder she had a new talking stage every week, no boy being able to handle her. 
“Sungchan. He’s a good guy. I can approve of him, definitely better than Jay” he recalls many situations including Jay, where the boy proved himself to be absolutely useless and weird. 
Maybe it was his team captain complex, but Niki seemed to notice many things that others didn't. His duty was to take care of his teammates, so catching onto the tiniest things was inevitable. 
“What’s wrong with Jay?” you question, and he laughs wondering if the words will even peer out of his mouth. 
“He’s like, fucking perverted” he laughs “Well maybe not that badly, but still, he’s just proper dodgy” 
You're shocked at his admission, and internally  glad your best-friend  got over him so quickly. 
Your conversation with Niki seemed to flow so easily. You never had to try hard, something always slipping off your tongue, his personality making it so easy. You never thought you’d have so much in common with Niki, so much to talk to him about. You were so fixated on something that was beyond his control, instead of pissing Jake off for being a horrible friend. 
____ 
“I need to go to the bathroom quickly before the game starts” Hana said hurriedly, her small figure rushing towards the bathroom, making you smile to yourself. 
You blush. You remember the brief mention Hana made, expressing the want for a more romantic expose of the relationship between you and Niki. You wonder if Niki remembers too. 
Usually you never cared for the highschool football games, skipping in order to study more or spend time with your best-friend. This time was different, you felt like a trophy to your oh-so-fake boyfriend, excited to see what comes after he scores a winning touchdown. 
“Can we talk?” Minjun’s voice takes you by surprise, making you stop in a halt. 
“Uh, sure” you reply, taken aback by the sudden serious tone and demeanor, knowing him from the bubbly personality and sweet voice. 
“I know you’re faking it” your heart sinks “Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to yourself? Seriously, Niki?” he asks, and you go completely silent, trying to figure out a reasonable answer to his accusations. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minjun,” you say after a moment of uncomfortable silence. 
A frown tugs at the corners of his mouth. He didn’t expect that reply. He doesn’t know what he really expected in the first place. 
“For whatever reason you are doing this, you could’ve just asked me. Why didn’t you ask me? I would’ve helped you, no matter how stupid it is” he kept going, and it felt like you were digging yourself deeper into this lie. 
He remembers standing in this same place, your hand hitting his arm playfully, your eyes lighting up at anything he said. In some way, he feels just as barren and vulnerable in your silence as he had that day. 
“Minjun, I think you should go join the rest of the team. They’re probably looking for you” you answered, wondering why Hana hasn’t come to save you by now. 
“I really liked you Y/n. Like really fucking liked you. I don’t know why you're doing this, especially why you’re helping out that asshole Niki” he added quietly, as Hana came up to the two of you. 
“Minjun!” she smiled at him, and he forced one himself “Fighting Minjunnie! I’m rooting for you! We both are!” she cheered. 
“Surely” he said, leaving the two of you. 
Hana turned to you confused with Minjun's sudden ignorance “Did you two fight or something?” she asked. 
“It’s nothing. I think he’s just stressed out” you replied calmly, leading the girl out to the bleachers. 
You tried to focus. You tried to be the perfect (fake) girlfriend for Niki, as he played one of his most important games, but Minjun’s words sunk so deep. They were all you could think about. 
You couldn't quite figure out why you didn't just admit it. Why didn't just tell him everything and end the bet with Niki? You wanted to so badly before. 
“Sungchan is playing like a bitch right now” Eunseok commented, disappointed with his friends performance. 
“Don't say that, Eunseok!” Hana slaps his forearm and he laughs at her anger. 
At least you knew she was still crushing on him, instead of Jay. 
“No seriously, what is going on with that man” Sunghoon said, squinting slightly, his eyes trailing behind Sungchans figure. 
Hana kept hushing them, begging for her friends to not speak so badly about her soon-to-be husband. You found it adorable, noting to ask Niki to set her up with him. 
“Our boy is doing so well though. Maybe he actually needed a girl in his life” Eunseok smiled at you. 
You felt a heat rush to your cheeks at his words, wondering if he actually performed any better this time. 
Maybe he was trying to show off in front of you? Or make you proud? 
“He’s been training like crazy” you say, and they keep hyping him up. 
“Jakey, are you okay?” Hana asked the boy sitting next to you, concerned when she noticed his tired face. 
He smiled “I’m fine, Hana. Don’t worry” he said fondly “Look Sungchan is waving at you” he pointed, the girl immediately turning her figure towards him to wave back. 
“Did you just see that? He waved at me! Sungchan waved at me!” Hana gleamed excitedly, Eunseok looking at her with disgust. 
“I can’t believe you like his bitchass” he half-smiled, shaking his head in a playful act of disbelief. 
“Aren't you two friends? Oh I’m so telling him about this” she replied, and he put his hands up. 
“Maybe your fantasy will come true” you inquire, and Hana’s mind races back to the moment she imagined a dreamy kiss on the field. 
“With the way he’s playing, I doubt there will be anything to celebrate” Jake said, and Hana hummed tiredly. 
“Can you guys leave him alone? He’s tired, okay?” she mused, and everyone nodded, done with teasing the girl. 
You can’t help but stare at Niki. Even with the heavy gear, he still manages to look good. When did he get so attractive? How come you’ve never noticed the pretty little mole on his chin, his gorgeous lips that begged for your touch, and eyes that grew whenever he talked about something he loves. He was right in front of you this whole time. 
You practically begged for Minjun’s attention just a couple weeks back, yet now you felt yourself fading away from the feelings for him. You can’t bring yourself to come up with any conclusion, or to bother with distractions, but why? Why was it so hard to just accept the truth as it was: you wanted Niki to want you. 
The game was nearing the end, and Niki could already smell the victory coming his way. He wanted to make you proud, he wanted to see your smile while you ran up to him, praises spewing from your mouth as he hugs you tightly. He hated that it was all fake, the realization dawning upon him; he wants you to want him. 
But he knows deep down that it’ll never be the two of you. 
A loud horn breaks your trail of thoughts, the audience screaming happily as Niki scores the winning touchdown. It was just like how you imagined, wondering if he’ll actually kiss you now. You know you wanted him to. 
He took off his helmet, his hair ruffled, beads of sweat falling down his face, but a wide smile when he spots you with a wide grin striding towards him. It’s just like he imagined. 
He doesn’t know what to do. Everyone is looking, and this is the moment he could victoriously hold you. It would make his ego grow, the perfect highschool popular kid image never dwindling, but what would you think of it? God what if you pushed him off of you in front of everyone. 
As much as he could prevent things from happening or predict anything, he couldn’t have known that you would be the one to initiate his deep rooted fantasy. He couldn’t have prepared himself for your pretty lips that pressed against him in a chaste, sweet kiss. You felt so good against him, and he couldn’t find himself pulling away. He never expected himself to enjoy such a fucking cliche moment- but here he was, wanting more and more. 
He wants to tell you everything in that moment- how he wanted this too, how he’d imagined your lips against his, and how he wants to kiss you everywhere. He knows he could. He’d even blame it on the slip of his unruly tongue. Yet there was a boundary he’d have to walk upon, a fear of losing you prevailing his selfishness. He knows he won’t. 
“Wh-” he tries, and fails to still his breathing. Niki hopes you can’t hear the tremble in his voice “How was it?” he asks, his voice unsteady. He doesn’t care though. 
“Your game or the kiss” you smile, and he wonders how you can be so calm about this. 
He smiles shyly “Both” 
“Stop” you laugh and he feels himself float above his body “You did great” 
“All for you” his response is amorous. 
Niki can’t help but laugh at your silence, watching you replay those words in your head. He pats your head, and throws his arm over your shoulder. 
How could any of this possibly be fake? 
“Good fucking game dude” Eunseok exclaimed, with a bright smile on his face, as everyone else decided to join you by Niki’s side. 
You looked around, a giddy and gleeful Hana, hugging a tired and sweaty Sungchan, as he smiled at her affection. Everyone had happily come down to congratulate the team, but Minjun was nowhere to be seen. Maybe you never intended to hurt him, but you so obviously did. 
“Jake you better fucking continue this energy at your disgustingly rich mansion” Sunghoon warned, and Jake smiled at his words. 
“You don’t have to worry about that” he replied contentedly, and you were glad to see him like this. 
Jake was rich. Like really fucking rich. To the point that he was offended when ‘eat the rich’ was trending, defending that he didn’t choose this life. His mansion in the hills was the go to spot for summer and any other party.
 But then again, it’s not like he didn’t have people to clean up after everything goes silent. 
_____ 
“Y/n!” you turned, your eyes meeting Wonbin’s, as you entered the kitchen you knew better than anyone present. 
You smiled, as the boy moved in your direction holding a red solo cup. 
Wonbin was your designated drink mixer and party buddy for whatever event hosted by whoever. You wouldn't call him a close friend, rather a person you’d talk to only on a special occasion. 
“Where your boyfriend at?” he asked with a grin, making you chuckle. 
The word didn't make your heart feel weird anymore. It felt so natural, normal, and sometimes you’d even forget it was all fake. For the past couple of weeks you’ve learned to forget easily, not wanting to pick apart Niki’s actions to maybe notice a pattern. You didn’t want to accidentally misinterpret. 
“Probably playing some stupid game in the living room” you sighed, hoping to get a little more out of him this time. 
You knew that the fake relationship was coming to an end, it already had gone on for way too long. 
“Mhm” Wonbin hummed, resting his body on the kitchen counter “It’s fake isn’t it?” he asked, taking you by surprise. 
You had absolutely no idea what to say. Wonbin really wasn't a part of any friend group you knew or were in, so what was the shame in telling him the truth? But it’d hurt your pride too much to say the truth out loud. 
You avoided eye contact, not knowing what reply would secure your safety and not damage your pride. Your silence made Wonbin laugh “C’mon, you can tell me” 
“It’s so embarrassing” you admit, and he shakes his head. 
“Not really. There’s plenty of girls who dream of this whole fake dating type of shit” he defended, and it made you smile lightly. 
He was right. There were girls out there who fantasized about a fake relationship, and there definitely were also girls who dream about a relationship with Nishimura Riki. 
Even though you initially hated his guts, maybe you were lucky after all? 
“I just can't comprehend the fact you chose Niki out of all people to be your fake boyfriend” he chuckled, and took a sip of his own drink. 
“It was his idea, I promise” you replied, and Wonbin mouthed a ‘no fucking way’, unable to imagine Niki, the person who swore he hated everything about you, ask you to be his fake girlfriend. 
“People can be really annoying, and I guess we just had some things in common after all” you added, and he nodded, still trying to visualize the situation you described. 
In a way it felt good to tell someone. You had been hiding it for so long, the lies eating you alive. 
It had been so long that you didn't even know what had become of this initially fake relationship. The line had already been blurred a long time ago, and it was hard to move along it at this point. He had done so many things, in private, that you didn't know where you stood anymore. 
“I can tell you actually like him” Wonbin admitted, once again taking you by surprise “The way you talk about him, it’s different” 
“You act so smart and psychological, it’s so annoying” you huffed, and turned away from him, chugging the drink he had previously made for you. 
He laughed “The truth hurts, doesn't it?” 
“I don’t like Niki” you said, trying to sound as confident as you could, but Wonbin saw right through you anyway. 
He didn't want to continue the topic, knowing he had already exhausted your limits. You also knew that no matter what, admitting something like that out loud wouldn't be easy either. 
The built up hatred and anger you had for Niki, couldn't have just disappeared so easily after a couple conversations and hangouts. But it did. And it frustrated you so much. 
“You guys playing spin the bottle in the living room with us?” a red faced Hana asked, peeking her head into the kitchen slightly. 
“With us, meaning?” Wonbin asked, making Hana slightly stumble into the kitchen. 
She started putting down her fingers “Well me, obviously” she smiled “Sungchannie, thank god” she let out a steady, thankful breath “Some girls, Oh Jia, Lee Chae, I don’t really recognize the rest. Oh, and Eunseok, Yang Jungwon, Minjunnie and some others” she went on, her drunken state making the explanation much longer than it should've been. 
“No, no, no! Niki too! Y/n you need to come!” she exclaimed, eyes wide. She took your hand and pulled you with her. 
You looked at Wonbin pleadingly, and with a small smile he trailed right behind the two of you. He always claimed to be ‘too old’ for those type of games, but always ended up staying till the end of any. 
Park Wonbin was truly full of shit. 
Your eyes met Niki’s as he sat in the circle, his back pressed against the couch. You looked at him, mouthing ‘what are you doing’ and he pointed to Oh Jia sitting across from him. 
You knew she liked him, and it definitely didn't make you happy. 
“I can see some couples here, yall into shit like this?” Jungwon asked, eyeing not only you and Niki, but Hana and Sungchan who seemed to have already made the news that went around school. 
You chuckled quietly and shook your head “It’s nothing that serious, just a stupid game” 
“It will be serious for you soon” Jia mumbled, her friend turning to her with a shit eating grin. 
Oh if they only knew how absolutely out of it they looked. What the fuck were they even talking about anyway. 
“I don’t think we should be playing this” you whispered to Niki, who previously patted down a seat for you next to himself. 
“Look how many people are playing, doubt me or you will get chosen” he smiled, and you nodded.
Still, isn't the sole fact you are even agreeing to participate weird? Shouldn’t you be mingling in a closet somewhere deep inside the house? God what was he thinking. This was so unbelievable, and you weren't surprised  that Wonbin had caught on. 
“Me first!” Hana cheered excitedly, as Eunseok had finally brought a bottle to play with. 
You looked over at Sungchan, who had a sad expression on his face. You could see his eyes praying on the bottle to land on him, his hands trembling with each spin. It was cute. 
The Gods above must have heard his prayers, the bottle landing on him with no doubt. 
He smiled and leaned into your bestfriend to plant a quick kiss on her lips. She pouted and grabbing his head, pushed for more. Maybe she was drunk, but you knew she’d remember this well. Although a witness, you’d hear about it for a long long time. 
“I’m guessing you don’t want to spin, Sungchan?” Eunseok chuckled, and the boy holding onto Hana, shook his head no. 
“Two players down so quickly” a boy with black hair, who you didn't recognize, commented. 
While Jungwon went in to spin, your eyes caught Minjun’s. You couldn't read him, his expression stone cold. He was either mad at you or didn't care. That’s the thing, you didn't know. 
“Stop looking at him” Niki whispered, cutting your moment with Minjun short. 
“I think he’s mad at me” you said, and Niki furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 
“Why?” he asked, eyeing Minjun down. 
“He figured it out, you know, figured us out” you replied, putting emphasis on the word ‘us’ “I didn't admit, obviously, and that’s why I think he’s mad. He’s convinced I played him on purpose” you added, and Niki’s gaze softened. 
“I’m sorry” he said quietly, his eyes falling onto his lap. 
You looked at him confused, “What are you talking about?” 
He finally looked over at you, his face displaying a half smile, that felt cold to you “I ruined your chances with Minjun. I guess I was only thinking about myself back then, so I’m saying sorry. I can talk to him when this is over” he answered, and you felt your heart break. 
He didn't like Minjun, you knew it very well. Minjun knew it too. But somehow he felt bad for the both of you. If only he knew how much you didn't care about Kim Minjun at this moment. How much you actually cared about the boy next to you. Maybe if he knew he wouldn't feel so sorry, you thought. 
“You don't have to be sorry, Niki. We both wanted this” you smiled, and squeezed his hand. 
“I can tell Niki really wants to go now” Sunghoon exclaimed, and hurried Niki to spin the bottle. 
The boy hesitated, looking over at you. You nodded for him to go ahead with a smile. God was this weird? You agreeing to your (fake) boyfriend playing fucking spin the bottle. Not only that , but playing with him. This was so stupid. 
He took the small soju bottle, and spinned it lightly. He prayed it would fall on you. 
Or one of his bros, no homo of course. 
The music was blaring, and you hoped that bottle could feel your intense stare, successfully landing on you. 
As much as luck was on Sungchan’s side today, he seemingly took all of it with him earlier. The bottle pointed straight at Oh Jia, the girl who was known for her little obsession with Niki. 
She looked at you with a disgusting smile, and moved her body towards Niki. He looked at you, and you didn't even know what to say. You couldn't tell him no, he wasn't yours after all. 
“Sorry, Y/n” she muttered, and you felt your blood boil at her annoying, high pitched voice. 
She moved even closer, but her actions were stopped with Niki moving the bottle's nozzle to point at you. 
He didn't even let you or Jia speak, eagerly going in to kiss your lips he missed so much. It hasn't even been 3 hours since you initiated the first one, but his lips starved for your touch. You could feel it. You could feel the desperation in his movements. The taste of his chapstick mixing in with the saliva, it was much more passionate than last time. 
“Payback for last time” he mumbled, pulling away, his voice unsteady. 
You looked at him dumbfounded. What the fuck did he just do? Was this another stunt to show off his cool, popular boy persona, cause it seemed just like that. But you couldn't blame him either, you started it. 
No matter what, it felt good, and you wondered how to get yourself to stop. 
“That’s cheating!” Jia’s friend exclaimed, crossing her arms. 
“The bottle is clearly on her, I don't know what you're talking about” Wonbin defended, and you smiled at him. 
Jia huffed, leaving the game along with her friend. 
“We’ll leave too” you said, watching them go upstairs. 
Jungwon sighed “I’m forced to kiss the boys now” 
You looked around, not a single woman in the circle that was initially full. 
You pulled Niki’s hand, taking him to an empty room. He felt confident at that moment, rehearsing his confession in his head. He was going to tell you. He was going to tell you, and it was going to be amazing. You’d listen to him in awe, and then agree to be his actual girlfriend. 
“I have something to tell you” he said, as you closed the door behind yourself. 
He sat down on the bed, and you stood in front of him “Me too” 
“You go first” he smiled, and you looked out the window, the words lingering at the tip of your tongue. 
You wanted to tell him how you actually felt. But you knew you couldn't. You were enemies, nothing more. 
“We should end this,” you said after a moment of silence. 
_____ 
Things had gone back to normal. 
You didn’t expect much from Niki, guessing he’d either be overly nice to you, expressing his thankfulness for helping him get rid of annoying fangirls, or go back to being annoying himself. 
But he was neither. He didn’t say anything. Just like he didn’t say anything that day, he had gone completely quiet ever since. Instead of teasing you, he ignored you. 
He ate lunch with the football team, and it hurt you to see him laugh purely with them. It even seemed like he had gotten along with Minjun, which confused you even further. They hated each other, but now? It seemed like they were just laughing at your misery, getting high off of seeing you like this. Was this just a huge plan to get you looking like a complete loser?
Maybe he should’ve been sorry that day, not only did you lose Minjun, but everyone of your fanboys at this school. That sounded awful, but it was partially true.
You two had only revealed the 'breakup' to your closest friends, not exactly reaching any agreement regarding the rest of the students. 
You could pretend to be mad at him in front of your friends, but it hurt you so much. It hurt to see him behave like this towards you, knowing you did nothing wrong. You two were never real, so why was he so different so suddenly. You just hoped that it was a performance for your friends to make it more believable, but as days went by, you started to doubt it. 
“This is a sign that I shouldn’t regret not dating Hana,” Sunghoon chuckled, looking over at the table Niki was seemingly having more fun at. He never laughed like this with all of you. 
Was it all for show?
“Fuck off” you mumbled, looking down at your lunch, which was vastly unappetising today. 
“It’s not your fault, Y/n, don’t worry. For all I know, it was probably his fault anyways” Jake said, which made you suddenly look up from your food for the first time in a while. 
“You defending me?” you chuckled, and he shrugged. 
You looked over at Niki once again, attempting to catch him looking at you too. 
But he can’t. He can’t bear to look at you. He can only think about the dark heat of that room, your words ringing in his ears. Resisting the searing force that wanted, more than anything, to try and tell you again. 
“God, this is so annoying!” Hana exclaimed “Y/nnie didn’t do anything, and he’s acting like a pussy all of a sudden” 
She pouted, a weird vibe circulating all of you today. It felt like you were mourning him in some way. 
You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, a text message from Minjun lighting up your homescreen. It was ironic, a picture of you and Niki on your lock screen, a message from Minjun decorating it. 
Minjun: Can we talk? 
You thought about replying, the scenarios of him playing a stupid prank on you along with Niki replaying in your mind. Nevertheless, you texted back a short confirmation, and locked your phone. 
You could feel his eyes on you, as you set your phone down on the table. 
“What did you want to talk about?” you asked, your voice unsure of the situation. 
It felt familiar, meeting in the equipment room, but this time instead of Niki who had the prettiest face out there, it was Kim Minjun.
“I knew it was fake” he said, and you felt a heat rise to your cheeks. 
You looked away from him, your eyes landing on the window. The sky was gray, the sun no longer shining in through it. 
“I don’t want to talk about this again, Minjun,” you sighed, tired of the topic already. Especially tired of talking about it with him. 
“No that’s not the point” he stopped you from leaving, you turned towards him once again. 
“Then what is it Minjun? Did Niki tell you all about it? Did he tell you how stupid I was to fall for him, even though it was all fake? Did you get me to come here only so you could make fun of me for being so naive? Is that what it is?” you blurted out. You had suddenly lost control over your words, your response coming out much harsher than you intended. 
“What are you talking about? Do you seriously think I’m plotting behind your back with Niki?” he asked hurriedly. 
Now that he said it, out loud, it sounded so stupid. You knew Niki long enough to know he hates Minjun more than he has ever hated you, and would never ever make any deal with him.
“Maybe” you huffed, turning from him “I don’t know Minjun. Can you just say it already?” 
He sat down on the chair in the far right corner, his hand signaling for you to come closer, patting down the chair next to him. 
“I guess I did sort of figure it out, the fact that what you and Niki had was fake. But he told me about it himself recently. He also said you didn’t intend to hurt me, and that he forced you to do this whole fake dating thing” Minjun relayed the message, and you didn’t know Niki would remember your conversation during that stupid game. 
Niki was evidently mad at you for ending things with him, but encouraging Minjun to try with you once again? That was what pissed you off the most, you couldn’t figure him out in any possible way. One day you can’t figure out the actual intention behind his words, exchanging sweet words and kisses, and the other, going back to complete strangers. Not even enemies, strangers. 
“He really said that?” you asked, and Minjun nodded “I really didn’t want to hurt you Minjun. I’m sorry for leading you on, in some way. I should’ve never agreed to it in the first place” you add, avoiding eye contact with the boy. 
You hear him chuckle, and with a furrow to your eyebrows you look up at him. 
He smiles “It’s not your fault I already know that much. I shouldn’t have blown up on you before the match like that anyways. It truly is none of my business who you hang out with” he assured, and it made you feel a little better. 
“I know, but I just hope you can still speak to me comfortably after this” you gave him a small smile, still unsure of your situation with him. 
“I’m not going to try and get with you again though, don't worry” he said calmly, and although you knew it, it still felt weird to hear. 
You chuckled “Not to sound selfish, but why? Am I not cute anymore?” you pouted sarcastically, and he laughed. 
“I can see you like him, like a lot. I even felt stupid for saying those things to you, cause you made it so believable at the party. The way you look at him, the way you speak to him, that’s not fake. All of it is real, and I wouldn’t want to stand in the middle of that” he answered, and you felt your heart skip a beat. 
And you thought you were good at hiding it. 
“Niki doesn’t feel the same though” you gave him a sad smile, fiddling with the material of your sweater. 
“You think so?” he asks, but it doesn't necessarily sound like a question. 
You hum in agreement, and he chuckles lightly “The same goes for him. Trust me it’s real. I can see it, hear it and feel it. The way his voice was so sad yet hopeful when he spoke to me about you, I know he likes you. Niki is just really stubborn, and he’d rather live in misery and not tell anyone instead of just admitting his feelings to you, or honestly anyone else” he explains, and you feel your heart start to beat faster. 
Was he right? Did Niki like you? Or did Minjun have a terrible judge of character and all this way a complete bullshit.
“What should I do then? Gosh this is so annoying” you sighed, combing your fingers through your hair. 
“Tell him? What else is there to do? If I’m wrong, which I’m not” he smiled proudly “-and he doesn’t like you, I owe you big time” he offered. 
“I don’t know if I should take that risk, though” you said, and he rolled his eyes playfully. 
“Do you really want it to be like this for the rest of highschool? God, if he doesn’t like you, you’ll just find someone better” 
Easier said than done. 
But maybe he was right. At the end of the day you had nothing to lose, so why not just tell him?
“Fine” you grumble, and he laughs, taking your hand to pull you out of the room, before any teacher finds you. 
_____
You had left a note in his locker the next day, too scared to face him yourself. 
You waited, hiding your body behind the huge column, peeking to see if he had come to grab something from his locker already.
You felt like one of his fangirls. Giggling to yourself, as you awaited the arrival of your mighty savior, Nishimura Riki, hoping you are the one he picks. Hoping that he reads your note, and whispers an ‘I like you too’ rosy cheeked, hot breath and all. 
How did you get like this? You curse yourself for letting something so seemingly small, so innocent, writhe under your skin and possess your mind. 
You didn’t catch it, lost in your mind, envisioning the numerous scenarios that could occur after he receives your note. 
He sighs with annoyance, a note filling his locker, it had been so long since he received one, it felt unfamiliar. Niki was frustrated, hoping that the notes weren’t making a sudden comeback. 
He opens it, curious as to what it may be. He couldn’t help it, wanting to remind himself of the feeling reading confessions like this brought him. But what he didn’t expect was to see your name written on it. 
He thought it may have been a prank, a stupid way to get you back together made up by your dear friends, but it wasn’t. This was your handwriting, the same one that wrote all his physics notes and study guides. 
‘Niki, it’s Y/n. This is weird isn’t it? Like me writing notes to you. I hope you don’t see the pink envelope, and throw it out like you always do. But I’ll know if you do, anyways. Well first of all I wanted to apologize. I don’t even know what for, so this may be stupid, but I feel like I should. You looked so sad, and I know it’s because of me. So I’m sorry, Niki. If I did something wrong, something to hurt you, please tell me! Anyways, I wanted to tell you something. I like you Nishimura Riki. I’ve liked you for a long, long time now, but I myself didn’t know it just yet. But I’m saying it now, and I'm very much sure of it. I guess it took some stupid physics tutoring, geeky Wonbin and finally Minjun whom you hate so much for me to realize. God, maybe I shouldn’t talk about him in a note where I confess to you? Forget it. I didn’t kiss you that day to show off, I kissed you because I really freaking wanted to. And it felt so good when I did. So please don’t think I ended things with you that day because you kissed me, no, not at all. I guess I just couldn’t stand this relationship being fake, because to me, all the things I did were real. You don’t have to reciprocate, or even say anything, I just wanted you to know. And I would hope you feel the same, but it’s okay if you don’t’ 
His mouth runs dry. 
It explodes in his chest all at once; how bad he wants to grab a fistfull of your blazer, stroke his fingers against your ivory jaw, and kiss you senseless. He would rub his thumb against your swollen lips, and tell you how much he likes you. 
He looks around, spotting your shoe slightly peeking out from behind the column a little ahead of the lockers. 
“Baek Y/n!” he shouts, and you're suddenly brought back to reality. 
Your mind had been rushing for so long, you didn’t even notice Niki walking up to his locker, and managing to even read the whole note. 
You slightly peek your head out, and catch his eyes already looking at you. He strides towards you quickly, and you can’t tell if he’s mad or happy. He holds the note in his hand tightly as he stands in front of you. 
“What is this?” he smirks, and you still can’t tell if he’s about to make fun of you or return your feelings. 
You shrug, looking away from him. 
“It’s cute. You even put those stickers we bought at the stationery store on it” he points out, chuckling, and grabs your hand so you can face him again. “What do you think I’ll say now?” he tilts his head, and you find it incredibly attractive. 
“I don’t know” you murmured, unsure of the situation you have gotten yourself into. 
“Let’s see” he scans the note again “I think I like you too” he smiles, and you don’t know if he’s fucking with you or not. 
“You think?” you ask, copying his action by tilting your head slightly. 
He laughs “Are you really going to make me say it?” 
You nod with a smile “Mmm” 
“Yes Y/n, I like you. I don’t think I like you, I definitely like you. I’ve also liked you for a long time, but I didn’t want to admit it because I knew you probably didn’t. And that day, when you ended things, I wanted to tell you. But I’m glad you did it, even if I had to wait a little longer. That fake relationship was fucking with my head big time” he answers, and you feel stupid for not letting him speak first that day. You could’ve avoided this whole misunderstanding. 
But things happen for a reason. 
“Are you being for real?” you ask, and he chuckles. 
He grabs your shoulders “Very real” 
You pull him closer, tightly embracing his body. He smiles, the familiar scent hitting his nose. Niki’s cheeks are glowing red, and he can’t hide his toothy smile. 
“So would you want to be my girlfriend, like my real girlfriend” he asks, his voice muffled by the material of your sweater. 
You laugh lightly at his tone “I don’t know…. You tell me” you tease, and he pulls away to look at you with a small pout. 
“Cmon, just tell me” he pleads. 
“Yes Niki, I want to be your real girlfriend” you answer, emphasizing the word ‘real’. 
Now you could finally enjoy him, and by the way your heart beat, this time you were certain it was real. 
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