#i Hope you feel save and loved

[contactlessdrivethru]

there is something unique and deeply special about monkey d luffy as a protagonist. he’s overwhelmingly ADORED by the fandom. he’s consistently the most or at least top 3 most popular characters in the whole series. peoples takes about him are gushingly positive. and that’s… really uncommon.

a LOT of fandoms i’ve witnessed or been in have a tendency to favor characters other than the main character. especially in anime. the main characters are often written as a blank slate for readers/watchers to project onto, but that makes them not as interesting and so they don’t get the fan attention.

but luffy is so far from that. and he’s ALWAYS been this way. we love him so much. he’s the heart of the story and the heart of the fandom in every single way. and i think that speaks to how well-written he is as a character. he’s fun and charming and complex and interesting and he makes us laugh and cry and cheer and hope and love. he’s able to inspire so much joy in people, both in his world but also in this one. and i think that’s really special. i feel so grateful to have found this story that means so much to me, and i’m so grateful that luffy exists.

#i’m in a very emotional mood tonight and i was just. musing #about how wonderful our best boy is #and how much true and genuine joy and hope and wisdom he has given me #i feel like i’ve learned so much from him about how to love people #and that’s. freely. enthusiastically. easily and without abandon. #love you monkey d. luffy. you saved my life #one piece #monkey d luffy #one piece meta #personal

[canisalbus]

I've been following you for years, and I love your art. Seeing you repost your older art pieces reminded me how much I loved the angry, bitter, miserable Machete art and how it resonated with me... but a part of me is also so happy to see the current art of him being happy. Cute art of him as a unicorn, or chilling in a bathtub with Vasco. Like, we're all growing and healing :')

#thank you! #he's been angry and bitter and miserable for so long it feels nice to give him an ounce of happiness for a change #some reasons to live besides spite and sense of duty #answered #anonymous #I always saw him as a character who's unsalvageable corrupted and doomed by narrative #and that the only way out of his miserable existence was a well deserved death #it sounds extremely cliche but I genuinely had no idea it would be so cathartic to view him through a lens of like #hope and healing and being worthy of love and saving despite your evident flaws and failings #unplanned redemption arc kapow #Vasco really just sauntered in and flipped the whole situation on it's head #sorry folks he has a boyfriend and gets regular pets and hugs and kisses now

[nancywheeeler]

hopeless time loop. the way out isn’t to save everyone. the way out isn’t to save even one person. the way out isn’t to change anything. the way out is accepting how it happened the first time is how it always will be. that’s how you acted, that’s how they acted, that’s how you would have acted every time if you weren’t given the curse of hindsight. the way out is accepting you can’t fix the past; you can only forgive yourself for it.

#there's this game i love called little hope that plays with these ideas (though not with a time loop) #i do love time loops narratives that explore how a person is confronted with their life and their choices #when forced to live the same day over and over again #and i LOVE time loops that try to reverse mistakes made and lives lost #but to see a character put themselves through loops upon loops upon loops #trying to rectify past mistakes (especially in the case where people died) only to be confronted with the reality it isn't working #and even in a loop where they save everyone the loop just resets #because the universe is essentially saying 'no that isn't how it happened and you know that's not how it happened' #it compels me! #i feel similarly about time travel where time 'fights back' #like this idea that there is a central timeline that time does not like being diverted from #so it will try to course correct itself #you save lincoln from an assassination only for him to die in a train crash #it's a cool way to confront the idea of fate #anyway all tragedies are hopeless time loops thank you for coming to my ted talk #a shout into the void #1k

[kaltacore]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

#sorry. i cannot shut up about this. this scene stuck with me the moment i saw it and i just couldn't get it out of my head #i mean. i liked essek well enough. i just got attached to other characters more. but then 'it's not fair' happened and it sealed the deal #it was just. so beautiful. so sincere. so important for a character who just started to learn how to care about people #his reaction wasn't intentional. it didn't change anything. but it showed how humane he had become. how deeply he cared #mighty nein are no joke pal #they're gonna make you feel all these unknown emotions like sympathy and love and affection even when they're incredibly painful #essek experiencing closeness and attachment in all their forms. as something beautiful and something aching. is so important to me #they saved him because they had good hearts! and these good hearts sparked so much joy around them! #but if a good heart grants you an ability to experience joy so profoundly. it makes everything else feel like that #you get it. i hope you get it. anyway e140 did so much psychic damage on me i probably will never recover #in a good way mostly <3 but yeah. yeah. it makes me feel a little insane #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #critical role

[kateis-cakeis]

I think what really gets to me with the finale is that Merlin was so close to getting Arthur to the lake. Yet, there was no plan beyond that. It's like even if they did get there, who knows if anything would have happened.

The idea that there was still more tragedy awaiting even if they made it, that yeah despite all of Merlin’s magic, he couldn't save Arthur's life.

It was always the possibility of the Sidhe, but there was no guarantee. It was all hope from the start, endless hope that failed them in the end.

Because well, it was always supposed to happen like this anyway... Arthur was meant to die so he could rise again, there was no alternative

#bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #some little festive angst for you all on the angstiest day of the year for this fandom ;) #i just feel for Merlin so much all that hope to save his loved one and yet and yettttt #like genuinely what would have happened like Merlin has gone around murdering Sidhe left and right djdjdjd #It was always meant to be this way is something that we all must come to accept with the canon #As Julian Murphy said in the infamous commentary they had to deliver on Arthur's death because they had been building up to it for so long! #anyway i love it watching Arthur's death is kinda like a strange catharsis for me these days #like it's I look at it like it's okay there's still hope it's okay to watch him die and feel sad it's not over forever

[kinokoshoujoart]

oops all rock (springtime edition)

i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…

could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)

#my art #sos awl #debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff #or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs #i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know #and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love #rock tumbling (sos) #story of seasons a wonderful life #bokumono #story of seasons #harvest moon #hm awl #harvest moon a wonderful life #bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too #there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them #but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK…… #idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!! #fanart #awl rock #bokujou monogatari #hm anwl #unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry…….. #also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool… #ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted #mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters #OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING #i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version #and also fun secret things related to DS #this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu…. #i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)

[thedisablednaturalist]

People who are worried they aren't helping with climate change or any other big world problem bc they do something like make video games or art or are a cashier at a grocery store:

You are helping. You are making the art that helps me, an environmentalist actively working to restore biodiversity and ecosystems, get through each day. You are helping those of us on the front lines enjoy living or take a well-needed break. The person loading my groceries into my car is making it so I can eat that week and have enough energy to do my work. If you want to do more, you can volunteer, donate, and boost the voices of local community leaders working to protect and restore the local ecosystems, but don't feel bad if you can't. We are all in this together.

#the only people who should feel bad are the ones actively contributing to the problem more than anyone else is #i mean rich people who take private jets not you who threw away a plastic bottle instead of recycling it #and fill up their giant swimming pools during droughts (and dont even swim in them!!!) #i personally chose my field bc i didnt want to stand by as all this bad crap happened #and because i love being outdoors and i love critters #but everyone elses jobs are important too #even people who cant work are valuable bc you give us a reason to fight for a better world for you #eventually i may have to stop working if my health gets worse but that doesnt mean i wont be valuable #i hope this makes sense #ramble #conservation #environmentalism #save the earth

[deer-with-a-stick]

I love how all of the companions' stories revolve around autonomy and I love how some of the romances show the whole "I love you for who you are"

Don't love how so many people are misinterpreting them though

#i think the romances thing really applies to wyll astarion and gale #wyll romance means you see beyond mizora and the half devil thing later #astarion romance means you see beyond the sexy facade and you prove to him that he doesnt need to perform for you to love him #gale romance is him getting over and understanding that mystra was never going to care about him like that #and that he doesnt need divinity to be loved #he's lovable as he is #anyway i feel my 'fuck mystra' feelings coming up again #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate three #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #baldur's gate three spoilers #bg3 spoilers #i dont know if lae'zels romance works for this but i know that she figures out kindness along the way #i really hope they fix karlach's quest we're allowed to save everyone else #i saw someone compare her and gale and yeah sure it works #i tend to compare her and astarion more though #and its a little upsetting that karlach doesn't get the freedom she wants so hopefully larian patches that #astarion might not get the freedom to walk in the sun on the 'good ending' but he's free of cazador and he can finally choose for himself #and seeing as he's not dead and how he's been a vampire for around 196 years (not over 200 yet) there are still ways to help him #harder for karlach because either she dies and ashes are all thats left she goes back to avernus or shes a mind flayer #also its arguable easier to live in the shadows/underdark than it is in literal Hell #easier to reach him too

[lenaellsi]

Why does aziraphale tells crowley he forgives him??? I literally just finished it and its driving me insane

hello anon! hope you're doing okay after that ending!

that's a hell of a question. there are a few different answers, and i think a lot was going on in aziraphale's head at that particular moment, but this is what I took from it:

-this is a dance aziraphale and crowley have been doing for a long time.

there's some sort of moral conflict. aziraphale repeats heaven's party line. crowley asks a bunch of uncomfortable questions. aziraphale doubles down. crowley calls him an idiot. aziraphale forgives him. crowley storms away. pretty much half of their relationship is built on these kinds of destructive patterns at this point--of course they'd fall back into it during the worst fight they've ever had.

-aziraphale is angry.

he's heartbroken, and he doesn't understand why crowley has decided to abandon him in what should be (from his perspective) the happiest moment of their lives since the fall. he's lashing out, and intentionally hurting crowley in the same way he's been hurt. he's not stupid, no matter how much miscommunication is happening in this scene--telling someone "i forgive you" after they've kissed you is going to hurt, and he knows that.

this reading comes mostly from michael's performance. several people have noted that in the moments immediately after the kiss, aziraphale says "I l--" and then cuts himself off. then he goes on a Michael Sheen Face Journey TM and ends up angry, and that's when we get "I forgive you." whatever else is going on with aziraphale in this moment, he's pissed.

-forgiveness is what aziraphale does.

in aziraphale's very first (modern day) scene of the season, we learn that forgiveness is "one of his favorite things." he forgives maggie's rent, and he forgives gabriel enough to shelter him from heaven and hell while he's vulnerable. it's an instinct for aziraphale, for better or worse, whether it's because it's something he thinks he SHOULD do or something intrinsic to him as a person who desperately wants to do good. occasionally, it's even something he does for his own gain. (see: forgiving maggie was a kind action, but he himself admits that part of his motivation was that she always knows how to find his music.) it makes sense that he would fall back on forgiveness as a framework for understanding a mess of complicated and painful emotions. it makes him feel better, forgiving people, and he needs the comfort of that here.

-he means it.

he forgives crowley for saying no. he forgives crowley for breaking his heart. he forgives crowley for always asking 'damn fool' questions. he forgives crowley for kissing him at the worst possible time. he forgives crowley for falling. he forgives crowley for making him doubt. he forgives crowley for being kind, and clever, and ridiculous, and special, and someone he couldn't help but fall in love with, no matter how much it hurts them both.

and unfortunately, forgiveness is the one thing that will always make crowley walk away.

#gos2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 #good omens meta #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #for what it's worth? crowley also meant to hurt aziraphale. that kiss was 40% hail mary temptation 10% a gesture of love and 50% 'fuck you' #and i love it like YES kiss him to hurt him YES tell him the worst thing he could possibly hear and then in 3 years save the world together #with the weight of everything said and unsaid between you!!! drama!!! i hate it here!!! (but i love it) #i hope any of this made sense. i have a lot of feelings about this moment and very few coherent thoughts #and i'll be the first to admit that i find it much easier to get into crowley's head than aziraphale's. i do love him though #asks

[rodolfoparras]

been very low energy these past few days... zzzzz

so anyhow have this ask where i write a fic for the fic writer 🫶🏼 little gift

thinking about price who isn't very vocal in bed, not because he's insecure or anything, he knows how much you love the noises he makes. you make it obvious, taking it as encouragement that you're doing well

he just... isn't. it's not something he's used to, having taken a dominant role in past relationships (heteronormativity the worst enemy of gay whimpering men).

that was until you two tried something new, price was reluctant at first, never having been... submissive like this. it felt a bit jarring at first, not that he didn't trust you, of course he did! with his life, even

but all those thoughts oh so quickly melted away, as your hand gently pumped his length. price hadn't expected you to be so gentle with him... so slow and sweet, whispering all the praise in the world into his ears, that he "was taking it so well", "so good for agreeing to this" and "you're so handsome, all nice and hard just for me" needless to say, this was driving him insane.

price wasn't a vocal man, but when you suggested he gives up control, "just to try it out", you'd tell him, it's like a switch turned in his head.

now, he's riding your dick all pretty, soft tears flowing down his cheeks... and so, so loud. he squeaks, whimpers, at basically every movement you make, your cock sliding against his warm entrance and gods, it just filled him up so good.

it was like it brushed against his prostate every time he merely shifted to get a better grip. price really tried to keep his noises in at first but every thought of his was melting into nothing as you thrust inside.

you guided his hips up and down your length, he's so so close, and you, so merciful, lets him cum all over your chest because he has been so good and pliant.

the mess he makes of himself is worth everything you've done to him, begging and moaning your name while his cock spurts small streams of cum after he's so spent and there's nothing left.

FELT SO SILLY WRITING THIS

love u?!?!? /p enjoy

- 🌷

Anonie when I say I have tears in my eyes from how beautiful I found this I’m being 100% serious

Thank you so much you don’t know how sweet of a read this was I’m going to read it over and over and over 😭 literally all I want in life is to be the one to care for price and have him go on auto pilot

Imagine your whole life being the one to take care of others putting everyone before yourself even in bed and sure while it’s absolutely a nice feeling sometimes he just wants to be taken care of, believe it or not at first he thought he couldnt be submissive because he’s always been the one in charge that is of course until he meets you you’re much older yourself a captain as well and beside the fact that you’re a wonderful soldier you’re also a wonderful person

After every harsh mission you’ll be the first to check upon him even though he’s told everyone he’s fine if it’s been a practically hard day you’ll see it on his face won’t mention it but you’ll instead offer to go on a walk with him and he loves it so much, going on long night walks where you talk about everything and nothing sharing cigar and leaving the work and worries behind

Or how you’ll always remember his food preferences and bring it to his office when you see that he hasn’t frequented canteen for the day you’ll even sit with him while he eats and he’ll feel shy about eating alone so he’ll offer you a bite but you’re just happy to spend time with him

You’ll even take time out of your busy schedule to take him away from the base have him visit some places he’s always wanted to visit whether it be a restaurant, somewhere up in the mountains or wherever else his heart desires to go

And out on a mission it feels so different with you sure he has 141 to check up on him but it’s different with someone older someone who’s also in charge keeping an eye on him or an iron grip on his hips to make sure he stays close by and nothing hurts him

Sure he’s been a captain and spent many years in the industry and knows damn well how to take care of himself but it feels so nice to be cared for once

And when he tumbles with you in bed he ends up in a headspace he thought he could never visit, falling so submissive, feeling so safe allowing you to care for him til he’s sobbing in your embrace

#thank you sm anonie I was feeling meh but this helped a lot I love talking about my old man #also I hope you’re feeling better Angel a #and also friend you shouldn’t feel silly writing this I thought it painted such vivid scenery and it was beautiful described so pls be proud #I loved it sososos much #alec answers #saves #🌷anon

[girlgerard]

mommm white people on tumblr are misconstruing my posts again despite the post being entirely about how important wording is + how i don’t feel comfortable posting large statements when i haven’t fully processed them yet.

#if you want to put me on a blocklist for loving netanyahu you can! i don’t! and no matter how many times i get told i do #i still don’t! #i literally said i hope his balls get cut off IN THAT POST #i don’t know how that read as unclear. #perhaps there are no hidden genocidal messages behind the wording of my tumblr posts - who knows! #when i said i cared about every single civilian living in that land i meant it. if you decide that i actually don’t that’s not my problem #if you somehow took my words and decided that what i really meant is that i’m a government bootlicker who loves murder #you can do that all you want. it won’t make it true and it won’t help save any lives #i was in ramallah and jerusalem six months ago. have you gone? #if the answer is no maybe think about that for a second #moreover if you’re viewing this from a purely racial or religious framework you have no idea how to navigate this subject #i don’t view israel and palestine through which government i want to back. why the fuck would i do that #palestinians and jews and everyone else in that land is who i care about. i care about gazans #if that’s not enough of ‘a side’ for you i don’t really think there’s much of a conversation to be had. #do you think i wake up every day NOT thinking about gaza? do you think i wouldn’t feel nauseous every second of every day because of gaza? #do you think that within everything i’m saying that the most logical conclusion would be to post all of my thoughts on tumblr? #because if you think any of that we’re not going to have a productive conversation. i don’t take kindly to being told my own emotions

[httpiastri]

dear everyone,

a while ago, i hit 1.5k followers on this blog.... i didn't want to get too sappy but i really wanted to write something, so:

the fact that over one and a half thousand individuals follow me is truly insane and too much for my little brain to grasp. i want you to know that i'm so extremely thankful for each and every single one of you and this makes me so so so happy. this is way more than i ever had expected when creating this blog.

i made this account back in june purely for my own enjoyment; i created it mainly because i was disappointed in myself for having stopped writing, since writing has been such a big part of my life since forever. ever since i stopped writing about kpop, i had barely written anything at all... i made this account just for fun with no pressure and no expectations, and before i knew it, this blog turned into something so special for me. the blog, all of the people i've met through it and all of the moments we've shared, all mean the world to me.

honestly, i'm not sure what i would do right now if i didn't have this blog and this community. these last few months have been pretty rough for me, but i've always been able to come back on here and gain a smile or some laughter. you've all helped me so much, even if unintentionally – every single interaction helps me push forward. i'm eternally grateful for every single like, comment, reblog and ask i've received on here, and your kind words really do mean the world to me. i don't know where i would be without you.

i hit 1k a while ago but didn't celebrate it properly, so i decided to make an 1k/1.5k-celly that i will be releasing soon (when i have more time to actually write)(hopefully at the start of december). please stay tuned!

and once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all so so so much. you truly are the best. 🧡🧡

#i never got near this much support on my old blogs (or wattpad accounts for that matter) #my most liked fic on my kpop blog had a little over 300 likes #and now my most liked fic here has over 3k notes #its all so insane to me #i'm so incredibly thankful for this community #i truly do not know how i would've stayed sane if i didnt have you all and this all #the support and sweet words i've been receiving is so so kind and i'm so so thankful #i read through every reblog & comment & ask i get and they make always me feel so warm #i get so giggly and kick my feet even at someone writing like “this was alright” in the tags of a reblog #i have a photo album saved for my fave tags & comments for when i feel down :((( gives me so much happiness #i love every person who's ever even shot a glance at my blog #hope everyone has a wonderful day 🤍🤍 #thank you again!!!! from the bottom of my heart

[harmonysanreads]

Wow....wow....wow....

#hsr spoilers #idk what to feel anymore #i thought 2.1 turned my brain into mush i was clearly naive #i followed the quest through a playthrough and i'm already having an existential crisis #wonder how everyone else is doing #it's relieving to know that aventurine is safe but sunday............. #will need extra time to organize my feelings and thoughts for him #now don't misunderstand the quest made me love him even more it's just... his story really is sad #i sure do hope they give him closure and a chance #my favorite moments has to trailblazer gaining the harmony path and the last cutscene where robin saves sunday :( #you can't enjoy the penacony story if you play with a speedrunning mindset #take breaks and let the acquired information soak #and the fact that there's still more left phew... #harmonysan.txt

[gayofthefae]

If Mike lied and El heard Will then the only person who took that speech as romantic was Will and that is just PEAK unreliable narrator my GOD.

#stranger things #povs #byler #byler options #el and mike are unknowingly on the same page both knowing those words are platonic/bs meanwhile will is in the back like #they're so in love :'( #while mike cries in distraught over his crushing guilt and el uses her anger towards this to save max #and will is like #wow can't believe the power of their love did it :'( #the reveal that the ga were in will's pov the entire time is going to be SO sweet though my god #bc ppl have a tendency to think they're immune to the puppetry that is cinematography but no one is baby #not unless you stop and think through it first impressions always manipulated #'i felt hope because will was feeling false hope then i returned to the objective view that it's not there' #no babe you felt hope because it slipped through to will because of how overt mike was being then you returned because he crushed it in #himself.

[givehimthemedicine]

never forget El isn't just touchy feely as a random personality trait, she's spent most of her developmentally critical years horribly starved of touch and warmth and love :)

and every moment of physical comfort she receives is precious to her as an antidote to some specific moment in her past when she suffered the lack of it :) and you can also see the shadow of her traumas in the ways she thinks to give physical comfort :)

and also don't forget that her trauma didn't end with the lab :) when we first meet her her traumas are drawn from lab days but by later seasons it's clear some of the traumas guiding her behavior are just... the show :) such as the crushing pressure of everyone counting on her to find Will :)

and if I spend more than 2 seconds thinking about what any simple little moment of closeness/physical affection/comfort must mean to El I will start sobbing and never stop :)

#eleven #lab feels #the max ones are heavily relevant to my fic #el is fairly into touching peoples heads during hugs in general #but her comforting max involves a lot of head stroking and i'm thinking it's because that's an old self soothing habit :( #also I realize 'its okay' is an extremely standard thing to say to a distressed person but #what if she says that to max because she remembers joyce saying it to her in the void and it making her feel better #and what do you wanna bet she held onto max's hand like that because she remembers going into the void to find will #and knowing she's his only hope and his fate is completely on her shoulders and all these people are counting on her #and then feeling will's hand dissolve in hers. and not knowing where he went or how to help him #and now she's gone in to find max and it's the same thing all over again and she's max's only hope #only this time it isn't some kid it's her best friend and the person she probably loves most in the world. and who trusts her to save her #do you know how terrified she is that max is gonna turn into smoke too. and disappear to somewhere el can't find her or help her #do you know how terrified she is that she's going to fail her #do you get what unfathomable trauma it is that she did fail her (it wasn't her fault but with her hero complex she'll feel like it is) #i will be adding to this gifset in season 5 when max wakes up #im fine (im not) #angst #mine #bestof

[sovonight]

books & flowers

#sovo art #he gives her a bouquet that says 'i will die without you/your presence soothes my pain/my love is hopelessly unrequited/you enchant me' #then avoids her for 1 full week in fear (hope?) that she will decipher his feelings #of course she deciphers them but then thinks he can't possibly have put all those meanings in for *her*. surely she's mistaken #and she doesn't want to make things Weird between them bc he has very clearly called her a friend before so that must be all it is #so she thanks him for the gesture of Friendship and internally he's like 'ah. i'll have to resort to truly desperate measures #like verbal communication. or perhaps i will save myself the shame and just disappear off the face of this realm forever' #xan x radri