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starsomens · 4 months

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𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 2・𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 ?

̩͙‿‿༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿ ‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ̩͙‿

Warnings: mentions of blood, short mention of a severed finger (not detailed), language, asshole Noah still lmaooo, like 1 person gets shot (it’s not fatal), not proofread

̩͙‿‿༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿ ‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ̩͙‿

Your body ached as you stretched the muscles. You body unraveled from the blankets like a flower blooming in the morning. Your stare up at the ceiling and see that it really isn’t a dream, and you didn’t wake up in your bed. The wedding ring still on your finger and your wedding dress long forgotten on the floor.

There was a knock at the door, looking under the sheets you had only slept in your underwear. Luckily there was a robe hung near the door. Grabbing it quickly, you cover yourself and open the door. You expected Noah or Alfred but instead see a short woman. Her dark hair starting to grey as she took over her face.

“Good morning ma’am. I am Vilma. I’m the housekeeper for Mr.Sebastian, however I am also assigned to you.” She stated

“A-assigned to me?” You ask confused

“Yes ma’am, any help or questions I can answer for you, I’m just a call away. Today I’ll be showing you around the mansion. I did bring you some temporary clothes while your things are delivered later today.” She handed you a neatly folded set of clothes “please forgive me if they are not up to your standards. They are some of my older clothes from when I was younger, but it would be better than just the robe”

You could feel your chest swell from the sweetness of Vilma. The sense of sweetness and warmth you could run into in the last 24 hours. How could someone so sweet work for someone like Noah?

“Thank you Vilma, this is more than enough” you thank her taking the clothes

“Now go on and get ready I’ll be waiting downstairs for you in the kitchen.” She nodded and made her way to the stairwell. Closing the door you walk over to the dresser that held a large mirror above it. You have out of breath as you look at yourself in the mirror you pick up your hair in a quick bun and get dressed. The clothes Vilma had given you were casual, but very comfortable. And they nearly fit like they were your own clothes.

After getting dressed, you exit your room and head out into the hall. You didn’t quite take a look around the first time since he just wanted to be alone, but the mansion was very big. And as much as you hated to admit it, it was very beautiful. It had a modern, but classic look with black and white trimmings along with some oak accents in the furniture. Course someone with this amount of money must have expensive taste. What else were you expecting.

You go down the stairs and try to find your way into the kitchen of course the smell of breakfast being cooked. After you enter into the kitchen you walk over and take a seat at the dining table. The kitchen was very large and beautiful had almost a Spanish structure. Vilma walks over to you with a plate of breakfast and a smile on her face. She sets it down with a cup of orange juice and tells you to enjoy. Another set of footsteps walks into the kitchen and who else but Noah. He finishes buttoning up his pure white dress shirt, as vans him a mug of coffee.

“Thank you Vilma” he takes a sip of the coffee “Jolly is going to be coming around later today to drop off some shipments. He’s also going to stay until I get back from the port. Make sure she stays out of the west wing.” he said, nodding his head towards you as if you weren’t even in the room. Didn’t even have the decency to use your name. You roll your eyes and scar softly as you continue to consume your breakfast.

“ yes sir, is there anything else?” She drying her hands from washing up the dishes

“that’s all. I’ll call if anything changes.” he seemingly chugged the rest of the hot drink and places it into the sink and passes by you without a glance. So this is what it was going to be like huh? You might as well just stay in your room for the rest of your life.

“And Y/N” he stops at the doorway “ you are not to leave. All of your things be delivered later with Jolly. Do you understand?” he ask you your main quiet and simply put another piece of food in your mouth.

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. do you understand?” he again fully turning his body to you.

“ yeah whatever” you didn’t even bother to look at him. of course tall tattooed man ruled his own eyes at you and made his leave

“ my ,my what a pair you two are” Velma shakes her head. “ I’ve been working with Noah, since he was very young and he definitely has not grown out of his sassiness, but you were probably one of the first people I’ve seen give him back the same sass. I’m very impressed.”

“ well, I’m not gonna let him push me around or tell me what to do” you standing up from your seat with the plate in hand. Vilma offered to take it and wash it for you “ no Velma it’s okay I’ve got it. You may eat breakfast the least I can do is help you wash up.”

You told Velma a bit about your child and as you helped her clean up the kitchen. She was honestly like having a grandmother around. Her aura was so motherly and uncomforting. It’s so easy to open up to her. At least you had someone to talk to in this hell.

After she began to show you around, beginning on the first floor, where the kitchen dining room and living room can be found. It had a modern yet classical look with velvet cushions, a fireplace, and an alcohol cabinet. Vilma leads you upstairs to explore the east wing of the mansion. She showed you the main bathroom most guests can use, a quiet study, 2 spare guest bedrooms and, an extra hallway closet that was the size of a child's room.

"Is this place always this cold Vilma?" you ask her feeling a chill run through your body

"I'm afraid so, Noah tends to keep the mansion at 70. But you tend to get used to it" she chuckles

"Right, is there anything I could around here aside from stay attached to you?" you asked "I just don't want to be a bother to you is all"

"Oh I wouldn't ask you of that dear I tend to-" just then the doorbell rang "Oh that must be Mr. Jolly." she said motioning for you to follow her "Now Mr. Jolly is one of Noah's dear friends and bussiness partners. In total there are 4, you should meet them later on" she goes and check the ring camera and in fact sees Jolly. As she opens the door a tall man, just a bit shorter than Noah steps into the home. He had long wavy hair, and bear and mustache but didn't seem to carry the same dark aura Noah did

"Aahh Vilma! It's so good to see you, how are you?" he said giving her a hug

"Oh just fine Mr. Jolly" she said propping the door open to help bring in some bags and boxes

"Vilma for the last time, it's just Jolly," he then turns to you "and you must be Y/N, a pleasure" he offers you his hand and you take it in a firm shake

"Jolly was it?" you asked curious of this man truly was named jolly

"Well, Joakim, but Jolly is what everyone calls me" he smiled at you "So, how are things with Mr. Perfection?" he asked

"Do you really want to know?" you ask casting your gaze to the bags that were being brought in, containing your things most likely.

"He always tend to be the lady killer of us 4. Always had the girls head over heels. But he tends to be cold and distant, but then again…I guess that’s what brings the women in” he said scratching at his beard

"If that's what you call going in sane then sure." you mumble causing the man to laugh

"thats why Joakim is around eh? To be the opposite and balance him out" he picked up 3 large bags at a time “Well I have to get these into his office before he strangles me, we’ll talk soon Y/N” he gives you a nod and begins to take the large bags into the east wing. Of course he was allowed there, but you cousins really argue on that could you?

You grabbed a few of your own bags and head to your room to start putting things away. You at least had you clothes and shoes now. Luckily they packed some of your books as well. Ima separate small box some family photos were also sent. The family portrait sent a pang through your chest. A frown now decorates your face as you set up the frames somewhere you’d be able to see them everyday. You sigh and grab your phone, you make a quick call to your mother hoping she’d pick it up.

“Hello? Y/N? My love are you okay??”

“Hi mom, I’m okay,” you answer “just missing you guys…..a lot”

“…honey if…no this isn’t right. Just come home! We’ll be okay sweetie! We can get lawyers, protection services anything!” She starts to rant

“Mom…we both know that’s not how this works. The last thing I want is for any of you to be in danger because k broke a contract” you sigh in half defeat

“I know Y/N, but this is your life we’re talking about. I’ll still try and find a way to get you out of there. I promise you!”

Before you could response to her you open another bags but your heart drops gazing into the bag.

“Mom I’ll call you back.” She kept talking as you hang up the phone and open the bag completely. It was bag full of money but it reeks! Some bills had some blood stains on them, but it wasn’t anything you were used to. You reach for the cash but pull your hand back. Pushing past your thoughts you stick your hand into the bag and move the cash around. All the other bills looked just fine so why was there-

“Huh?” That’s odd, you felt something….squishy? Grasping the item you pull your hand up and was met face to face with a severed finger. You could feel you blood cold as you let out a squeal and drop the finger to the ground. You slowly back out of your room your gaze never leaving the body part on the floor. You back up and run into a body making you jump and spin around

“You know we’re married so the money is also yours” it was Noah “you don’t have to take a bag” he gave you the stupid smirk he’s given you from start and you hated it.

“I didn’t take your stupid money” you huff “someone brought it to my room alright? Which by the way has a fucking finger in it!”

“You really like pushing limits don’t you flower?” He said pushing past you “lets go.” He simply said sliming the bag over his shoulder

“Go? Where?” You ask as he starts in the direction his half of the mansion

“To my office, come.” He gives you a single glance over his shoulder, not bothering to wait for you. You cross your arms and follow behind his footsteps. You stay quiet as you follow the tall male

“I thought I wasn’t allowed here”

“You’re Not. You’re only coming because I said so. After this you’re still not allowed here” he corrects you

“Mhm” you look out of the window and gaze into t eh garden you had no idea existed! “So is the prisoner allowed to go out?” You asked

“I can care less about you going into t he garden, we’ll discuss everything else in my office” he stops T two grand doors, similar to your father’s. He unlocks his using a key and walks in first. So much for Gentlemen.

“Close the door” he sighs setting the bag near his desk “ as you know obviously right now it’s not you frankly you’re going to stubborn to be part of a contract” he starts. You roll your eyes at the comment, knowing he basically meant every word he was saying about you.

“ That doesn’t mean I don’t have a job reputation to uphold. Which means you as my wife sometimes have to attend certain events with me whether you like it or not, we’re gonna be spending a lot of time with each other.“

“ OK was kind of expected it’s not gonna enjoy myself just going because I have to. Besides, can you get one of your so many girls to go with you and pose as your wife“ you ask him as you walk towards his desk

“ I mean I could, but word gets around pretty fast going with some other girl I have to go with a headache“ he said walking towards you and stops just a few feet in front of you. You were leaned onto the side of his desk with your arms, staring up at him, as if he were merely an ant. It wasn’t as if he could make you disappear off the face of the Earth with without a trace, and have a completely covered up within 24 hours. As much as Noah was not enjoying himself, he had to admit he did admire your boldness, but he also thought it was very stupid.

“Awh he also thinks I’m a headache. I can’t wait to see that fake routine in front of everyone.” you roll your eyes at him.

“ do you know eventually if you keep rolling your eyes like that, your eyes are gonna fall out of your sockets” he remarked, stepping closer “ in fact, that little mouth of yours is going to get you a whole lot of trouble if you keep it up” he continued to step closer to you until he was towed to toe, and you were slightly leaning back on his desk to keep a distance

“ What if it does? what exactly are you gonna do to? Kill me? Keep me locked away?” You begin to push your boundaries

Noah Leans forward until his hands hit The edge of the desk. Nearly laying you down with your back flat on the cold furniture.

And he whispers “ oh, I can think of 100 things, little flower” his voice was deep and husky, and then a sense it felt dangerous “ I will push you past your limits and break that little mind of yours.”

“ is that all?” You asked.

“ oh, no, it could be a lot more I can do” his hand, comes to your jaw once more, and brings you close to his face “ just keep trying you’ll be getting there soon enough” he paints a kiss your cheek. A hypocrisy to how he was gripping your jaw keeping you in place.

He finally lets go and keeps his eye on you as he walks over to what looked like a closet in his office he pulls out a red dress and held it up. It was a sleek off the shoulder dress with a delicate leg slit on the left side.

“ Don’t even ask if it fits you. It’s your size. Be ready by six sharp, we need to be there by 6:30. I’m not gonna wait for you.” he said, handing you the dress “ and try not to take your whole face with make up, three hours to get ready in the meantime, I have things out to work on you have any questions ask Vilma.” he walks over to the door and opens it as if kicking you out without a word you huff and you walk out of his office. He stepped out of the wooden doors. A tap was met with your left ass cheek. You look back pissed as hell, ready to unleash a world of

“ hopefully don’t find any more fingers in your bedroom” he teased with a mischievous smirk, knowing damn well that that finger freaked you out

“Asshole” you mumble as you continue to walk down the hallway with your head held high. You don’t care how much he would. “humiliate” you, you walk with your head held high and your dignity and pride higher. You guess he had nothing else better to do so you went back to your room to get ready. You did a half up half down here do with some loose curls at the end. Some delicate Rosie make up and a bold red lip to match your dress. And of course a little eyeliner never hurt anyone. It was already 5:50. All you had to do was get your dress on.

You managed to get into the dress and zip it just up to your mid back, but couldn’t get the rest. You needed help and hope that Vilma was around. You poke your head out of your room door and call out for her.

“ Vilma? Vilma are you still around?” You called out, but didn’t get a response. You thought it was strange seeing us how she was the housekeeper. You step out of the room and walk down the hall just a bit to see if maybe you could run into her. She was probably in another room in the house.

“ Vosen finished her shift for the day” and of course, no surprise you turn around to find Noah again “if you need help you just ask you know”

“ look I just-“

“ just shut up and turn around” side and turn around reluctantly, so that he could zip you up. His slender and slightly cold fingers touch your bareback as he zips up the dress to fit you perfectly. He stood there and took a look at you as you turned around in the dress. “ see it wasn’t so bad, Jesse looks good on you. Who knows maybe the dress just made you look better.”

“ oh ha ha, this suit makes you look more decent, but it still doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re basically an asshole “you snap back at him

“ you know I always wondered why some people liked feisty women. I can see why really keeps me from dying of boredom. Go get your burger whatever you have to bring with you, we’re leaving.”

He said making his way down the stairs, not even offering you help. You go back to your room and grab a small pocketbook along with your phone and of course some pepper spray just in case, because you could never be too careful. You come back into the hallway and down the stairs his gave me never leaving your form with each step you take. His gays scanned up and down like a predator analyzing its prey

“are you done staring?” ask him with an eyebrow raised.

“What can I say? I picked a good dress, come on” he said motioning his head towards the door. Outside was parked a sleek black car worth 4 times more the dress you were wearing. Different from the SUV Alfred had driven you in.

“Is Alfred not taking us?” You asked as he opened the passenger seat

“Alfred escorts me at times, but I like my own driving at times” as you take a seat into the expensive vehicle he shuts the door and makes his way open to the seat. The weight of the car shifts as another person is added to it. Putting the current drive the engine rev as you roll out of the rounded entrance of the mansion. The gates closed behind you and you were off to the event.

“ so exactly what kind of event is this? You ask him curious as to exactly where you were going to dress as if you were about to walk on the red carpet. Scanning his own suit it was different from the one he had worn before he wore his slacks but switched out his button-down and tie for a black turtleneck instead. His hair was combed with most of it to one side.

“ oh, for one people been nagging me to meet you second off, this is a general dinner that people within this business has to catch up and make sure everyone is where they should be. Money and businesswise.” he informed he never taking his eyes off the road.

“ Will my father be attending? “ you ask him

“ no he’s no longer the head of your family, especially the business part. Most likely Matthew might be there, but because he still knew all of this, he might not make an appearance, so don’t keep your hopes up.” he answers. “I just hope that your ass behaves. No smart remarks, no talking back, no sad comments or mumbling. You get that?” he answers as he stops at the red light. The red light, illuminating his face in a demonic, yet hypnotic way. Highlighting his features, his sharp jawline and nose, his deep, mysterious eyes.

” so I should just let you walk all over me then,” your head sarcastically “ what if I run into snot nose brat doesn’t know how to stop running your mouth?” You ask him sarcastically

“ well then you’ll have a little friend find common ground with”

Life is being and without taking his gaze away from you, he steps on the gas. He zigs and zags through the traffic. Every time he would glance over you, your heart would race a little because his eyes were off the road.

It is a long since before you knew it you were at the location. It was a very exclusive and very private gathering. there were other cars there much like his, some money, money on wheels at this point. You see men like your father, chatting outside, well, puffing smoke from their mouth and nostrils from the cigars that they held in their hands. They gave you a weird vibe, seeming to be the type of men to marry women and have trophy lives. Already had years of marriage under your belt exactly how to manipulate them. You made a mental note to stay clear of them.

You pull on the car door handle and open your door only to have it closed right away. Of course, Noah being as tall as he was his arms are long enough to reach your handle door again and turns your face to meet his gay but doesn’t hold your face like he did the last few times.

“Y/N, listen to me” his tone became authoritative “when we get in there, you stay close to me, you don’t say a word to them unless they greet you, and DO NOT, wonder on your own. Do you understand?”

“It’s just a party” you scrunch your eyebrows at him

“Fucking Christ” he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose “just fucking listen for once and don’t argue with me”

He gets out of the car before you could respond. You grab your things and open the door, Noah is already in your side to give you a hand to get out of the car. Taking your hand in his, he tucks it into his elbow taking his title as husband very seriously now that you were there. As you approach the door there is a muscular man guarding the door. He looks at Noah and then you and opens the door for you to talk in. You step into a grand hall with a glamorous chandelier. An older man starts to approach you and Noah and Noah clears his throat to whisper

“Follow me”

“Noah my boy! It’s good to see you” he said with open arms, Noah lets you go to give him a strong handshake, his gaze falls on to you next “I heard you married a lovely lady but nobody said she was this gorgeous!” He chuckles taking you hand in his and b shaking it delicately

“John, it’s a pleasure”

“Y/N,” you answer with a small tight smile, Noah’s hand finds the small of your back and he brings you into his side “the pleasure is mine”

“Listen why don’t you both get comfortable before the meeting starts, I’ll see you soon” he excuses himself and moves to the next guest

Noah then leads you down a grand hallway

“I’m going to be meeting with other heads of the organization, you aren’t allowed in.” He explains

“Huh? Why not?” You asked

“Because it’s none of your damn business. So you will behave and sit in a waiting room just for occasions like this. Got it?” He said caroling at an entrance to what looked like a living room area. There were 3 other women inside and some children as well. At least you wouldn’t be stuck in a room on your own.

“You’ll wait here until I’m done. DO NOT leave with anyone outside of this room, if you need the bathroom it’s down the hall to the left and it’ll be the only door there” he explained pointing down the length of the carpeted hallway.

“….fine, how long is this going to take?” You stare up at him, almost like a child who didn’t get their way.

“At most 2 hours, I’ll come get you when we’re done” he said turning away

“Why can’t I just go ho- back to the mansion?”

“Because you have to be here, now shut up and get in there” he cute you off as he steps into the room. The smell of cologne, cigars and alcohol leaked out into the hallway. You groan and take in a deep breath before walking into the waiting area. One woman who seem to be the mother of the two children there turned her head for a quick glance turn back. She had a short, bob cut, and we can only describe his classic makeup. Almost as if coming straight out of the 1950s. There’s another woman who has stood near a glass door that led to a balcony overlooking the scenery from the building. The building was placed near a cliff where there was a gorgeous outlook of the ocean. The moonlight pouring into the warm light of the chandelier. She held a cigarette over her left hand while her right arm crossed over her body to hold her left elbow. She didn’t even turn to look at you, as if nothing was even happening behind her. All you could see was her long blue gown and her platinum blonde hair running down her back.

The last woman you took note of was sitting on a couch with her nose in a book. Her hair was done up into a bun with some pins in it. Seeing as she may have been the calmest and most peaceful in the room, you go and sit on the other end of the couch. She took a quick gaze at you from behind her book. Brown eyes blinked at you and then go back to her page.

You hesitant to say anything or even attempt to speak to someone that was until someone had cleared their throat, and was now standing in front of you. It was the blonde woman who was just smoking outside of the window a few seconds ago.

“So, this is the mystery woman everyone has been wondering about“ she scans you with her sharp blue eyes, and the disapproving pout on her lips “do you even know what you’re doing here? who you’re married to?” She was interrogating you as if she had personal business with you. In a strange way it was intimidating, but in an annoying way.

But of course, you fire back because you wouldn’t stay shut “ and you are who exactly?” You ask giving her the same up-and-down scan she gave you.

“ Denise, the one who is actually supposed to be in your place” what does she mean by that?

“ what?”

“ marry, Noah. He and I were supposed to marry and continue the business as it should have been. Yet here he is married to you. A spoiled brat who thinks she knows everything because she saw her daddy holding a gun.”

“ Denise that is enough” The elder woman with children spoke up. “ none of this is her fault or her and frankly it is none of your business”

“ oh, Noah is my business. Whatever wants to take away is immediately my business.”

You stand up from and hold your head high, despite her being a couple of inches above you. You were biting your tongue wanting to say something snarky back or even throw a punch but instead you hold your nose high and your head and walk out of the room.

“ you have gone too far. You need to let the Pasco because it is not happening…” you hear as you exit the room voices the further you get away. You walked down the hallway towards the bathroom and make a right turn like Noah said.

The hallway was dimly lit, and eerily quiet for having so many people in the building. I didn’t know that they were only being a single door? Why were you looking at three? Shit, you must’ve taken a wrong turn. You turn yourself around and walked back down the hallway instead of watching the hall that laid in front of you you watched your feet with every step that you took deep in your thoughts about what Denise had just. You weren’t jealous, you weren’t envious, this wasn’t something you chose, but at the same time you really started question

Who was Noah Sebastian? Sure he was a mafia boss one of the biggest. you’re more than sure he’s killed, from what Jolly told you he’s a magnet, and from what you know, he can sometimes be a bipolar asshole. But who was he?

As he turned the corner of the hallway to go to the bathroom, should be you run into someone.

“Whoa there, you okay- oh,” at a man who stood at about 5 foot, 10. He had light brown hair and striking green eyes “ didn’t think I’d find such attractive lady here tonight”

You looked almost like a deer cotton headlights, not knowing how to react or what to say to the man that stood in front of you. It was safe to say that he looked like the type to harass girls into giving him their phone number only to ghost them in a week, you immediately wanted nothing to do with him

“ I should go there, expecting me back” you make up a bullshit excuse to get away. You round around him and start to walk just a bit faster.

“ come on sweetheart nothing more a little fun between strangers” he chuckled as he reached for your arm and pulled you back towards him “don’t be boring”

“I have a husband, and frankly I’m not one bit. Interested in you now. Let me go.” You said, pushing off of him, but his grip only became fierce the more he tugged against him.

”Ooo you’re a fighter. I like when they’re a little feisty, it gives me a challenge” He pushes you against the wall trapping you completely with your arm pinned over your head. His face comes uncomfortably close to your face as he whispers into your ear. “ just one night that’s all. That’s all I’m asking you.”

“NOAAAHHH!” You call out to the last person you thought you’d call out to knowing that it would possibly be your only salvation.

“Noah? You’re calling out for the most selfish and self-centered person in this building thing he’s gonna come and save you? Hey well that’s pathetic.”

You shut your eyes tightly, praying, hoping and begging to any God or deity that could save you now.

It was silent, and the only thing you heard, was the caulk of a gun, and the rupture of a bullet, leaving its chamber. The man that was once holding you against your whale, now screaming as your hand falls down to your side. Open your eyes slowly and see the brunette sitting on the floor and he held his knee. Assuming that he was shot in the knee look in the opposite direction to see Noah standing next to you. Gun in hand as he looks down on the man as he was the most worthless dirt he had ever stepped on.

“Really? You have grown out of this habit?” Noah grumbled in his direction, taking his foot and stepping on his wound to apply pressure. “ have you been taught to stay away from things that aren’t yours?”

“ it’s not like you were gonna pay attention to her anyway” he has his back

“Y/N,” he steps away from the man and goes to you “did he hurt you? Touch you?” he asked scanning you over

"No...I'm fine..." you said softly, Noah clenches his jaw and takes his coat off. He drapes it over your shoulders and leads you by the small of your back and pushes you gently

"Jared," he stops and speaks over his shoulder "You come near or touch my wife again, I'll cut you hand off."

The drive home was silent. Not a word, smart remark, sassy response. Nothing. The lights and buildings passed almost like a blur, you mind was racing, but you also felt as if you were at a standstill. However, you did have to ask him

"Who was...Denise to you?" there was a gap of silence before he answers

"She was an ex, of a sort. Nothing went past half a year or so. Why?"

Shrugging your shoulders you say "Met her. She called me a bitch and said it should have been her"

"fuck" he cursed under his breath "Look just ignore her, she's out of her mind and we-"

"but she was right" you sigh as the car comes to a halt in front of the home. You unbuckle your seatbelt and step out of the car "I have no idea who you are Noah Sebastian"

"Y/N." he calls for you as you shut the door and walk to the door without him. He comes out and follows you, "Y/N, believe what you want about me, but if you chose to believe her then you'd be the idiot" he mumbles as he unlocks the door to the large home. The inside just as cold as the outside, your heels clacking against the tile as you approach the stairs

"An idiot for marrying you yes, an idiot for following what you say yes. But my biggest mistake would be if I stay here” you stare into his dark orbs intensely, never breaking eye contact before. Noah felt something he never felt before, something weighing in his chest, that he could not explain. The fire in your eyes as you fire at him in just a few words. Could he say that he had romantic feelings for you? No, how you felt towards him why would he feel anything?

But something about you having no fear of him or anyone you’ve come in contact with, it was like something he hasn’t seen before. He watched as he dropped his jacket on the floor, discard it as if it were, and made your way up to your bedroom without as much as a glance or smart room or back. He stood at the stairwell for a couple seconds. His hands in his pockets, contemplating what was discussed that night, what’s to come. Big changes were being made, steps that would flip this entire world upside down. Yet the question that weighed in his mind

“Who the hell are you?”

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jishyucks · 1 year

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Walls, Brawls, & Sudden Rainfalls ‣ hrj

‣ pairing: renjun x reader

‣ genre: enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, fluff!, slow burn (!), college au

‣ wc: 23.6k (gawdamn)

‣ summary: Your first impression of Huang Renjun wasn’t the greatest. In fact, the first two encounters you did have with him were enough for you to conclude that he was just some cold-blooded boy who genuinely didn’t care about anyone else but himself. That was, of course, before the (damn) universe brings you both together to work on the local daycare’s mural.

↳ Alternatively where first impressions blind the fact that you two actually fit quite well together.

‣ warnings?: Brief mention of underage drinking, Renjun and reader argue really childishly lots, when I meant slow burn, I really did mean slow burn, very very brief mention of doing the dirty bc reader chooses to be dirty-minded (but they don't actually do it nonono)

‣ an: this is the longest fic I've posted ever (so far), so it feels like I’ve incubated it in the womb, went into labour, gave birth, raised it, and now I'm setting it shi free and into the world lmaooo,,, anyways thank you so much to @hoonieji (my bestie) for reading over this and reassuring me that it was going great,, I hope you all enjoy this!!! <333

‣ taglist!: @hoonieji @nanaflwers @dandelionxgal @flowerpotrenjun @renjun-fairy @she-is-dreaming @mosviqu @hibernatinghamster @glamourizz — can't tag @markleeiloveyou @lovehowdream

ONE.

With the hundreds, hell even thousands, of people in university, there will always be a handful of rude, miserable people that you were deemed to run into sooner or later.

Sure, not all of them mean to be rude. Often, there would be the occasional bump on the shoulder in the crowded corridors… Or there would be those newly woken up individuals who would give dirty looks, obviously not giving a single fuck. You’re a nice person. You understand those people since everyone did had bad days. But there was one man—cough—boy that genuinely had an attitude that needed to be fixed.

You didn’t know his name, nor did you want to know his name, but you could easily pick him out of a crowd because of the smug look he always repped. Funnily enough, it was the very look you wanted to very badly slap off of his face.

The only reason you knew of him was that he seemed to have a desire to be a menace to those who got in his way and unfortunately, you constantly ended up being on the receiving end of these situations.

There was one morning you had been running late to class—no—you were sprinting to the auditorium in hopes of only missing the run-through of the previous class. Your field of vision chose to settle only on the doors of your class, which at the time was a huge mistake. The focal point blocked out everything else, causing you to run into the before mentioned boy in a rough manner.

“What the fuck!?” You both were on the ground, briefly stunned at the collision, “This shirt is expensive!” You looked up and realized that dark coffee had stained the boy’s light-coloured shirt. The look on his face caused your heart to drop and eyes to widen.

“I’m so sorry! I really am! I’m just late–”

“I didn’t ask for an explanation,” he scoffed. He stood up, peeling the shirt off of his skin. It tented easily.

“I can repay you…” You say quickly, speaking before you could even process what you wanted to say.

“Can you pay for a hundred-dollar shirt?”

You shake your head, but you think of alternative ways to repay him. Only him interrupting you even before you could begin listing them indicated that he wanted none of it, “You know what? It doesn’t matter.” And at that he leaves you stunned, belongings still scattered around your puzzled self.

“Well fuck you, then,” you mumbled. Rolling your eyes, you were pulled back into the situation you had been in prior to the encounter. Class was a lot more important than some douche anyway.

Another encounter between you both happened after about a month of the first. The Starbucks found on campus was not at its busiest, yet it was not quite empty either. The baristas and cashiers worked their hardest to satisfy their customers, walking to and from different stations behind the counter.

“Hi, can I order a grande iced caramel macchiato?” You questioned, one of your earphones sitting in your hand. The cashier nodded, asking for your name and other necessary information before you paid.

You thanked her before slowly moving towards the serving counter, taking notice of the boy when you did. He had his head down, attention directed at his phone’s screen. He, too, had earphones in, practically blocking out his surroundings. In a way, you were glad he didn’t notice your presence, the memory of last month’s conflict running through your head.

You placed yourself at the corner of the cafe, away from the boy but close to the counter. When you ordered at a cafe, you would often pay attention to the baristas, watching as they mixed up the drinks. You could see yours being made, which had been quick as there were still people waiting for their drinks.

When the barista finally clicked a lid onto the cup, you begin making your way to the counter, ready to take it and leave. She slid the designated smaller straw next to the drink, so you grabbed it before the drink, then made your leave. Little did you know, the drink you took wasn’t actually your drink.

“Excuse me!”

You genuinely didn’t hear the boy calling you because of music blaring through your earphones. And even though he was waving his arms to catch your attention through your peripheral vision, your attention was poured entirely on the drink you held snugly in your hand, poking the straw in.

“Excuse me!”

He finally caught up to you, grabbing your shoulder to stop you. The sudden contact caused you to jump, attention shooting from the drink and up to the boy. You don’t say anything, pausing the current bop that was playing.

“That’s my drink,” he gestured towards the drink, “Well not my drink but my friend told me to pick it up for him.”

You look down at the name, seeing a Donghyuck printed on the sticker. You blushed and replied sheepishly, “Oh I’m sorry, I genuinely thought it was mine…” You hold it out to him, “Do you want it? I haven't taken a sip from it yet.”

“Of course I want it, I’ve been waiting for ages,” he mutters, promptly grabbing the drink from your hand. Without another word, he walks away, muttering a string of words you couldn’t quite make out.

“What? No ‘thank you’?!” You yell back.

He doesn’t turn back, and not because he had his music playing, but because he didn’t want to. You curse under your breath and walk back to the cafe, seeing that your drink with your name on it had been waiting for you.

Though you didn’t have the right to judge an individual, especially since you didn’t even know his name, the two encounters had given you a bad image of him. Two encounters in two different situations… you were being polite in both situations regardless of how embarrassed you had been only to be returned with cold responses. Who did he think he was?

“Li Shang.”

“I agree, one hundred percent,” you replied. Yeji held up a hand for you to give her a high-five, which you completed. The conversation topic on Disney Princes had been more entertaining than the chemistry homework due next week, “That’s why you’re my best friend.”

“Him and Prince Naveen,” she kisses her fingers in a ‘chef kiss’ type of movement, “That’s all I have to say.”

“Also!” You hold up a finger, pause for dramatic effect and state, “Tadashi Hamada.”

“He’s not a prince… but I will let it pass because it’s Tadashi Hamada,” she giggles. You watch her sit back in the library chair she pulled out from another table because it had padding for your butt, smiling. She drops her pen onto her textbook, “Taste.”

Before you could reply and add to her comment, a third presence appears to the right of you and the left of Yeji, which puts the conversation on pause. You turn to see Jaemin bent down to catch his breath. He had a wrinkled sheet of paper in one hand and his phone in the other, his bag open at the top.

“Woah, are you good?” You asked, standing up and assisting him towards one of the seats as if he were one of the elderly you helped once in a while at the old folks home. He nods but keeps silent, taking in deep breaths.

Once Jaemin finally caught his breath, he began to spew out whatever news he had for you or Yeji, “That’s the… most exercise I’ve… done in years.” He gulps and sighs out, “Anyways, Y/N you’re looking for a place to work or volunteer at right? Like art-wise or something? Kids? Puppies? I don’t know… I forgot what you were going for…”

You nodded, “Just any type of volunteer or temporary job… Yeah, I still have no luck.”

“Well, this is perfect for you then!” Jaemin flattens out the crumpled-up sheet of paper in front of you, “They need some people to help paint a mural for this daycare. No previous experience needed. As long as you can hold a paintbrush!”

Yeji leans in to get a look at the sheet, “Woah, you get paid too! That sounds like fun. I would do it with you if I wasn’t busy with these damn classes.” She sinks back into her chair and begins playing with the sheets of her textbook.

“I ran here because a bunch of people might want the job.” Jaemin says, “The daycare is literally just behind the campus.”

You stand up, the adrenaline Jaemin previously possessed taking over your veins, “Can you watch my stuff!?” Your phone was already in hand and you were ready to sprint out of the library and to the daycare Jaemin had been talking about.

“Of cou–“

And at that, you were gone and running towards the building. To your luck, the library was by the back of the campus, so the run wasn’t as far as you anticipated. You could sense other students eyeing you as you sped past, though you didn’t really care since you were merely a flash in their eyes.

Once you had arrived at the daycare, you entered and made your way to the front counter, “Hello, I’m here for the painting job?”

The lady at the desk looked exhausted, eyes halfway closed and face struggling to present a welcome expression, “Can you draw and paint? All that kind of stuff?”

“Yes! That’s mostly why the job appealed to me,” you replied, “Do you need a resum–“

“You’re hired…” she mumbled stiffly, “Please fill this sheet out and show up here on Saturday at one in the afternoon for further instruction.”

Smiling, partly stunned, you nodded before turning to leave. That was easier than you thought… all that running was worth it.

TWO.

You sat across the street from the daycare, contemplating whether it would be better to come early or right on time. Through the windows, you could see that they weren’t as busy as yesterday due to it being a Saturday. It wouldn’t hurt to show up early right? Standing up, you dust your butt off before making your way to the crosswalk.

“Hello, I’m here for the job information. I was hired yesterday,” you explained, “My name is Y/N L/N.” The person (wo)manning the desk was a different lady from a few days ago. The woman held a smile on her face, one that reached her eyes so, to you, it seemed like a genuine smile. You squinted at her name tag, which read Joy.

Huh… fitting…

“Oh good!” She exclaimed, “Now you can sit just over there as we’re waiting for another person.”

“Another person?”

“Of course! We’re not expecting one person to work on the entire mural alone. It’s larger than it looks, so we decided to hire anyone who asked. Those two were you two,” she explained the situation, “I’ll further explain the objective of the assignment when the other boy arrives.”

Your ears perked up as you nodded, Boy? A small little piece of you started hoping that, whoever this other person was, was cute.

You hear the door open behind you, a small greeting leaving the lips of the smiley woman, “Oh! This must be him! Are you here for the job?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the voice replied. It sounded rather familiar, but you were unable to pinpoint who it could have belonged to. Curious, you turn to look at the owner of the voice. Once you had processed who had been standing a few feet away from you, your jaw dropped.

You both speak at once, evidently shocked at the coincidence.

“You!?”

You couldn’t help but feel the sudden impulse to quit the job before it even started. You’d rather accidentally fall into dog shit than work with this unnamed douche of a boy.

“Do you two know each other?” Joy questioned, “That’s even bett–“

“N-no, not quite,” you interrupted, “We’ve just… had a few encounters on campus.” You choose to turn your body completely towards Joy so that you couldn’t accidentally look at the other presence.

Joy nods, “Makes sense… Anyways, name?” She directed the question towards the boy, pulling out another sheet from a clipboard.

“Huang Renjun.” It was funny finally being able to put a name to his face, especially after all this time. But you very much preferred ‘that boy’ over his name.

You feel him approach the desk, standing beside you as Joy begins going over the job instructions. You two were expected to paint a mural over the next month, about two to four days per week depending on how long you both worked. The theme of the painting is what was expected from a daycare mural, something pleasing to the eye, especially the eyes of kids. The two of you had freedom over what you wanted to paint but were expected to get the idea checked over by Joy before the actual painting started. Once that was approved, they’ll provide all the supplies for the painting process to begin. Easy.

If only you were working on the project with anyone else but Huang Renjun.

“Any further questions?” Joy concluded, shifting her glance between you and Renjun. You both shook your heads, “Okay good. I think a rough deadline for the idea should be around the end of next week? The boss really needs this done in a month.” You both nodded silently before turning to leave the daycare.

“How do you want to brainstorm the idea?” Renjun had muttered before you were able to walk off.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “How do you?”

He scowls, “I guess we can just meet up here during designated hours?”

“That makes the most sense, doesn’t it?” you don’t feel like replying to him kindly if he spoke with an underlying attitude. Someone really needed to teach him basic manners.

“Whatever.” Renjun leaves you alone in front of the daycare, giving you a chance to roll your eyes behind his back.

You choose not to walk away from the daycare until you’re sure he’s left, opting to use your phone and scroll through whatever notifications you’ve missed during the meeting. Your face is left in a painful grimace, one that you didn’t even feel you’ve rendered on your face.

You can’t believe you’re working on a team project with this particular boy out of all people. Yes, it was a bit overdramatic, but you’re not quite sure how to work with someone you’ve only had bad encounters with. It also doesn’t help that he seems to have mutual feelings for you—which you find particularly ridiculous since you really haven’t done anything wrong to him on purpose.

It’s somehow the next day when you’re able to tell Yeji about the happenings of yesterday. Though the topic only came up when Jaemin questions you about the gig and Yeji notices how your face contorts into a stiff frown. The both of you are sitting in the dining hall, food half-finished but untouched for the past ten minutes.

“What’s up with your face?” Yeji questions, almost laughing out loud at your shift in mood. This is something you really liked about Yeji. She was talented at reading facial expressions. There could be the tiniest quirk in your brow and she’d be questioning you to world’s end.

You purse your lips and stare back at her, “What face?”

“This face,” Yeji contorts her face into an exaggerated glower, “What’s up with that? I thought you were excited about the painting gig?” Jaemin nods along to what Yeji said.

You don’t reply for one long second, trying to figure out how to explain to your best friend what happened yesterday afternoon. “Do you remember that guy I was really pissed off about a few weeks ago?”

Yeji pauses to think, “The guy with the coffee?”

You think about it and realize that both encounters you’ve had with Huang Renjun involved coffee. “Yeah, him! Today, at the meeting, guess who came as my temporary partner for the project.”

“No way!” Yeji’s eyes open, “That’s a whole coincidence! No wonder why you looked all pissed.” You can tell by the new wave of expression on her face that she feels sorry, “Is he still… douchey?”

Your eyes widen as you nod, leaning forward, “Yeah, but what’s new?” You’re about to roll your eyes, mouth opening with an intention to add more, but Yeji’s eyes shift from you to something behind you. She holds her gaze there for a few moments before her brows furrow in confusion. Her eyes flicker back to you.

“You know it’s not good to be talking bad about someone behind their backs right?” You turn and see Renjun with a friend of his. “Someone’s ending up on Santa’s naughty list.”

Your brows knit together, “You’re one to say something…”

Renjun throws you a look before taking a long sip from his drink. You can’t help but look at the beverage, an iced matcha latte, and feel yourself craving it. It looks good.

Renjun clears his throat, “Anyways, we’re meeting tomorrow.” His friend stands awkwardly behind him, looking like he just wants to be there to eat.

“That doesn’t even sound like a question,” you point out.

He shrugs, “Because it’s not… I have places to be.”

You look over at Yeji who’s witnessing the attitude of the one and only Huang Renjun. Even you can see that Yeji’s shocked at how Renjun’s interacting with you.

“Fine, whatever,” you wave him off, “Whatever makes you leave.”

“Good, because I wasn’t even going to give you a choice. I’m showing up even if you’re not there.” At that, Renjun and his (poor) friend walk away, leaving both you and Yeji rather stunned.

In the corner of your eye, you see Yeji turn to look at you, so you look back, noticing her sorry expression, “Good luck tomorrow, Y/N.”

You thank her. Not because it was what people usually replied to the comment, but because you knew you genuinely needed it.

THREE.

Upon entering the daycare and being directed into a secluded room by Irene, another employee who ran the desk, you find Renjun sitting hunched over a sheet of paper. You could see his hand was working fast and that his attention was focused mostly on whatever he was doing. One side of the room gave you and Renjun a look at the main area of the daycare.

“You’re late,” he muttered, not looking up.

“You’re early,” you retorted. The clock at the corner of the room tells the truth. You had only been five minutes late. How much brainstorming could the boy have even done in that span of time?

He doesn’t reply to your response, slumping back in his chair to continue his brainstorming. You can’t help but make a face behind his back, slipping into a chair at the same table but across from him, refusing to sit next to him. You didn’t want him looking over your shoulder during your creative process, or else you’d lose your mind.

But then you remembered that you were here to work with him. “You know, we met up here so that we can work on the idea together,” you point out, “But you do seem like the person who wouldn’t know what the word cooperation means.” Not even two minutes into this so-called meeting and you want to leave.

Maybe you should just quit.

“You don’t even know me?” Renjun lifts his head towards you and scoffed, “So you can’t say that.” “You’re right,” you nodded, “I don’t know you, but I’ve bumped into you enough times to know you don’t give a single fuck about those you don’t know.” You pull out a pencil from your bag and take one of the spare sheets of paper sitting in the middle of the table. You start to write out random phrases that come to mind, whether it be inspirational or a pop culture reference.

Renjun scoffs, “I’ll have you know, most of our encounters happened because of you.” You can see he’s adding colour to his draft, giving you no direct attention, “This all would be avoided if you weren’t an accident waiting to happen.”

“You know there’s always better ways to go about those same situations,” you spit back, “Because, I don’t know, accidents happen? Other people wouldn’t make big deals out of them.”

Renjun mutters a quiet ‘whatever,’ under his breath, huffing out in frustration as he continues with his draft. At this point, you’re halfway done with your draft, which consisted of a cute scene of kids and a generic playground background. It was a bit mediocre, but you thought simple was cute. You both continue on in silence, letting the sounds of the kids playing drown it out.

The silence wasn’t awkward. In fact, you could listen to the serene, no-sound room as if it were a hit song you’ve been obsessing over the past week. Anything but Renjun’s voice was a blessing, especially in situations like this.

After about half an hour, Renjun looks over at your draft, “You do know kids can’t read, right? At least kids attending this daycare.”

You scowl. “Yeah and?” You continued with your business, “Haven’t you seen that movie ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’?”

Renjun thinks for a hot second, “No.”

Your eyes shot up at him, surprised that he hasn’t seen the classic. When you weren’t in the mood to watch other movies, you’d naturally gravitate towards rewatching that one. It was a good movie, one that made you cry, yes, but you liked the underlying meaning behind the movie. “That explains everything.”

“What do you mean?”

You ignore his question completely, “There were words on that daycare’s mural, I don’t think it’s wrong to add some words to the mural, Huang Renjun. Besides, lettering is what I’m best at.”

Renjun glares at you. “What if I don’t want words on the mural?” He quickly glances down at his own picture. It was more of a realistic picture, one of the skies with balloons floating through the scene. Attached to some of the balloons were toys or items associated with being a kid. It was simple, but he found it rather cute. To him, it beat your average picture of kids by a playground.

“What if I don’t want… whatever that is?” you childishly argue back, “Look, I know my idea is simple, but simple is easier and simple is usually best. Your picture has so much shading… imagine the two of us having to paint that.”

Renjun tries to hold back a laugh, “Are you serious? My picture’s obviously better than yours.”

You both immaturely argue for another twenty minutes, pointing out the most ridiculous reasons for why your own pictures were one-hundred-and-ten percent better than the other’s. And it was consequently the stubbornness that both you and Renjun possessed that leaves you both with no decision by the time the shift was near over.

Your eyes drift to the clock sitting above the window, “Time’s almost up and we still haven’t figured out what we want to do. Let’s just settle with mine.” You push the picture towards the centre of the table, eyes holding your hopes of your idea being chosen. Maybe Renjun will finally break.

“I don’t think we should,” Renjun shrugs, voice monotone, “Let’s just… decide on it the next shift. I really don’t want to deal with this—or you—right now.” Renjun picks his phone up and takes a picture of his and your pictures sitting in the middle of the table for reference.

You follow in pursuit before snatching your draft from its spot. You feel a sense of relief knowing that you can finally return to your Huang-Renjun-less life. “Fine, whatever you want. I don’t wanna deal with you either.”

The shift abruptly ends with Renjun taking his leave first, leaving the room without another word. He bids a quick goodbye to Irene, who has no knowledge of what just happened before exiting the building entirely.

Renjun feels nothing but irritation walking back to his dorm room. Days ago, he remembers being excited about the gig. He gets paid to do something he truly loves, all while giving such a flat looking building some colour to make it pop, which clearly was a win-win for both him and the daycare. But the fact that you’re there with the apparent purpose to contradict everything he’s planned, the excitement was simply sucked out of it all.

Renjun finally settles back at his shared dorm room, hanging his bag on the back of the nearest dining room chair before sitting himself at the couch, where both Donghyuck and Jeno were playing Super Smash Bros. Although they were rather loud, he’s just glad to be back in an atmosphere he knows he can relax in.

“Hey, how was your painting thingy?” Jeno asks, eyes glued to the screen. In between Jeno’s question and Renjun’s response, there’s rapid clicking coming from the two boys’ controllers.

“It was… fine, I guess,” Renjun mutters. He pulls up his phone and mindlessly swipes through social media.

Both Donghyuck and Jeno don’t fail to notice the bummed tone in his voice. Donghyuck speaks up, “‘I guess’?” There’s more clicking, “You suck at this, Jeno.”

“Remember who I’m working with?” Renjun hints, “She literally contradicts everything I say and do for no fucking reason. It’s draining.”

More clicks. Then Jeno finally replies, “That doesn’t sound fun at all. Maybe she’s not aware about what she’s doing?”

Renjun sighs, “I think she knows what she’s doing. I just think she’s doing it to spite me. You should hear her arguments. They’re so senseless and they make me want to laugh.”

On his phone, Renjun pulls up the photo he’s taken of both of your drafts and enlarges yours. This is the first time today that he’s able to properly look at your picture and he can’t help but actually like it. No, he still doesn’t like your idea about the kids and the playground, but the words you had chosen to letter over top the main picture.

Adventure Is Out There. Although it was pulled directly from the movie Up, the quote works perfectly well with the daycare’s name, The Adventurers. He liked it. But he wouldn’t admit that to your face.

Renjun zooms out of your picture to show both of your drafts once again, eyes glancing between both images. The gears in his head begin turning, Renjun’s creative process in the works, as begins mustering up an idea that could possibly work for the both of you.

“How about we take your quote and add it to my picture?”

It’s two days later and Renjun’s monotonously suggesting the idea that had developed in his mind some nights ago. No other ideas have been brought up since then and Renjun wants nothing else but to start on the project.

You look up at him with a raised brow, “Oh, so Huang Renjun’s finally admitting that his picture is plain as shit?” You’re not against what Renjun’s suggesting, only because what he was thinking made sense. The balloons that his drawing had reminded you of Up. It did go well with your quote, plus you were able to incorporate your want of lettering.

Renjun narrows his eyes at you, “It’s not ‘plain as shit.’ I just want to get this over with.” He reaches for a brand new piece of paper and begins drawing a second copy of his drawing.

You sigh. “Fine whatever. But I get to suggest something about it too.” You eye how quick he was to copy down his drawing, head pivoting back and forth to replicate it.

Renjun chooses not to look up, “What is it?” Although he was willing to hear you out, there’s still a splash of irritation in his voice.

“Don’t make it so realistic.”

His head is brought up to look at you, “And why not?”

“It’s a daycare,” you say flatly, “Do you not remember that? Where’s the ‘cute’ factor in making it look realistic? This isn’t a commission from the city, Huang Renjun.”

You have a valid point, Renjun thinks. He admits he’s been treating this as more important than it really was, but that’s just how he was. “Fine. It will be easier to paint anyway.” Renjun turns back to the new drawing, making it a little more kid-like. He refrains from colouring the picture before sliding it in your direction, “The quote.”

Pulling the new draft towards you, you pick up your own pencil and start your part of the drawing. Looking at Renjun’s sketch, you realize that you can’t place the words exactly how you had it on your original draft. There were areas that you didn’t want to cover.

“After you’re done, I’ll colour it,” Renjun mutters, “Write down the supplies we need, then we can leave.”

Only you using your eyes to look at him, you reply, “Sure.” And when he looks back down at his phone, you roll your eyes. Someone needs to tell him to simmer down with his attitude. Then maybe you can tolerate him easier.

You pass the sheet of paper back to Renjun and sigh. There’s a sense of relief in your chest when you realize that this part of the process was over. Thinking back to two days ago, the way you and Renjun argued over what to do for the mural, you thought that there was no way you were getting it done in time, at least not with both of you being satisfied.

But that’s all done and over with. Luckily this was the hardest part of the project.

Right?

FOUR.

“You’re gonna be there for how long?” Yeji peers over her laptop’s screen, eyes wide at what you just told her.

“Four hours,” you answer, “That’s not even that long, Yej.” You’re laughing quietly as you put your sneakers on, half-assedly tying the laces. The walk there is around ten minutes and it’s already 1:48. You can already hear Renjun’s ‘you’re late,’ along with his deadpan expression.

“I know, but I’m going to be here alone on a weekend afternoon,” she whines. You watch as her face quickly changes expressions, “Wait do you want me to bring you a snack later? Rub it into Renjun’s face that you have a great best friend who brings you food?” She bats her eyes and angles her face to convince you into saying yes.

You shake your head, “It’s only four hours today cause we’re finally starting the mural and we want to get the base done today. And I’ll be fine, I promise. Maybe invite Jaemin here for the time being.”

“He’s off somewhere with his friend,” Yeji sighs, “But whatever you say. I’ll miss you!”

You playfully roll your eyes, “Bye Yej. I’ll miss you, too.” And at that, you’re off to the daycare.

The peaceful walk to the daycare can be the calm before the storm, the storm being Huang Renjun. The idea made you laugh a little bit, childishly picturing Renjun like how animators would draw angry anime characters with a crimson face, steam blowing out of their ears and nose, and pupil-less eyes. You feel like that’s the only emotional state you’ve seen the boy in and you can’t help but curiously imagine how Renjun’s smile would look.

You shake that thought out of your head before you let it run further into nonsense, finally arriving at the building. Through the glass doors, you can see Renjun sitting by the front desk. Upon entering, Joy, who was sitting at her computer, looks up with a bright smile, “Good afternoon, Y/N.” Renjun does nothing but let his attention waver over you for a quick second before going back to his own business.

“Hi, Joy,” you greet back, “Sorry to keep you waiting.” Renjun finally stands up and stands at your side.

“Oh, no, no! You’re right on time and I will speak to you guys very quickly before I let you guys get to work,” she rounds the counter and leads you both to the meeting room like always, “So since the draft was approved, the supplies you needed, plus ones I’ve added are just in here. Grab what you need and you guys are free to start.” She shows you a closet near the back of the room, opening the door to reveal the many supplies that were ordered.

“Thank you, Joy,” Renjun nodded.

“It’s no problem! If you guys have any concerns, you know who to go to!” Spinning on her heel, Joy flashes one last smile.

“Chalk, white paint, string, ruler,” Renjun mumbles, taking the supplies up into his arms.

You grab the paint brushes, “Why do we need half of what you just said?”

Renjun’s walking out of the room, paying almost no mind to you and your question.

“Huang Renjun,” you say firmly, “Can you answer my question?” You both are outside at this point, “Or… or else I’ll chuck this brush at you!” Although it was a joke, you subconsciously knew you would if he seriously didn’t open his mouth within the next minute.

“So I can draw a grid?” He speaks to you as if you were stupid.

Oh, he’s going to get it, you think, but your thoughts and your body think and do different things. Your body decides to stay grounded where you were, “And why would we need a grid?”

Renjun huffs and turns to his bag. He fishes out the draft you both had made last week, only there’s a graph lightly drawn over it, “So we can replicate the picture onto the wall.” Renjun thought this over the past few days. If he and you wanted to mural to turn out exactly how you both had drawn it, eyeing it wouldn’t be the best to go about it. Hell, even drawing out a rough sketch of it could be difficult through eyeing it.

“Can’t we just free-hand it?” You’re not understanding why Renjun wants to make the job more difficult than it was. There were only two of you. If there were maybe four of you working on the mural, then sure, go ahead and draw a graph, but there were only two of you.

Renjun shakes his head, “I think it’s worth it to draw the graph, that way there’s no chance of messing up.” He fiddles mindlessly with the string he’s been holding. You can tell by the expression on his face that he’s serious about this. You want to tell him that, ‘bro, this is a mural for a daycare, it doesn’t need to be one-hundred-percent perfect,’ but Renjun looks like he’s ready to fight for what he wants.

“Fine, let’s draw the graph,” you say.

Renjun looks at you confused. Why’d you back down so quick? “Huh?”

“But you do it all on your own.”

Ah… There it is.

“I’ll just sit here and wait for you to finish.”

Renjun wants to laugh out loud, not because the situation was funny, but because he can’t believe you’re actually saying what you just said. “Are you serious?”

You sit down at a nearby bench and nod, “Why would I be joking? You sure do act like you know what you want to do… so, go ahead. Do it.” A spiteful smile rises upon your lips and you wave for him to go on with his task. Being the stubborn boy he was, Renjun gives you one firm look before turning towards the small ladder. He drags it towards the right end of the wall and begins preparing the materials.

You watch him out of curiosity, wanting to know how he’ll manage to do it all on his own. You want to see if he’ll ask for your help, or end up wanting to free-hand the rough sketch in end. But as you do observe Renjun, it’s clear that he’s not going to ask for help or give up.

Renjun measures out string that’s about the height of the wall, 3 metres tall, and then the length, which was near 4 and a half metres long. Grabbing measuring tape, Renjun uses the ladder to measure and divide the wall into foot-by-foot squares, marking the corners of the squares with dark chalk lines. The job’s going to take long, that’s for sure, and watching him move up and down the ladder, while he tries his best to keep his marks aligned, you can’t help but feel bad for making him do it on his own.

But then again, he wasn’t asking for help.

Renjun on the other hand is struggling and he hopes you don’t see it. Yes, two hands were enough for the daily tasks he has grown accustomed to, but two hands weren’t enough to do this very task efficiently. There’s a voice at the very back of his brain that was itching him to ask you for help, but as always, Renjun and his stubborn ass refuse to do so, even if he’s on the edge of falling off of the ladder.

“Can you hand me the black paint?” Renjun asks about forty-five minutes later. His hairline is drenched from sweat and the lack of expression on his face reveals how tired he was, “Please.” He hopes that you’d at least help with this.

Without another word between the two of you, you stand up and pick up the bucket of black paint. You quickly plop it down next to the foot of the ladder before looking up at him, “Are you done with the graph?” You try your best to sound disinterested, eyes moving across the wall.

Renjun blinks down at you, “Does it look finished?”

There’s a caring instinct in you that notices the exhausted look in Renjun’s eyes. His eyelids are drooping, and he’s sniffling from the constant moving he’s been doing. Renjun’s sweating profusely from the sun beating down on the both of you, and you’re brought to wonder if he was prepared to be worked up to this degree.

When your eyes meet his, you’re instantly pulled from your thoughts and you remember that you’re not supposed to give a single fuck about Huang Renjun, even if he’s working his ass off like this. He looks like he’s waiting for you to answer or leave to go sit back down. But a rogue idea somehow assembles itself in your head and you decide to just go with it. You roll your eyes, “Well, I’m going to the washroom if you aren’t.”

“Whatever.” He gives you one last glare before turning to the black paint and the string.

You start making your way to the front door of the building, sending Renjun sneaky glances. The second he’s paying you no attention, both direct and peripheral, you make a break for it and start sprinting towards the centre of campus. There was no doubt that you look like a madman right now, zooming past students who were still on campus despite the day of the week, but you didn’t care. If you want to pull this off, then you need to do this quick—and quick means running like you were in a life or death situation.

Finally reaching your destination, you decide to take a breather, hands on your knees and everything. Your mind wanders back to the day you applied for the gig, getting deja vu from the exhaustion you’re feeling right now.

Once you finally are able to catch your breath, you make your way into the building and sigh at the air conditioning.

“Y/N! Hi! The usual?” The Starbucks worker, one you’ve obviously seen plenty of times, looks at you in an odd way but goes with the flow nonetheless. She’s smiling at you, finger hovering over the screen in front of her as she waits for a response.

You nod and add, “Add an iced matcha latte to that too. Make it venti, please.” She nods and continues on with the usual routine.

You left as quickly as you came, although this time, you’re sprinting with a bit more caution, not wanting to spill the drinks you’ve used your own money for. You can’t help but wonder what Renjun was thinking right now—what were you doing in the washroom for so long?

The two drinks you were holding in both of your hands said it all, though there was still no explanation why you decided to sacrifice some of your time and money for Renjun. It was just the nice person instinct inside of you that decided to do so.

You’ll complain about it to yourself later.

When you finally return from your little mission, you’re lucky enough to arrive when Renjun’s distracted with the graph. You notice he’s done the vertical lines within the time you were gone.

“That was a long washroom break,” Renjun muttered rather loudly. He’s pressing the paint-soaked string against the wall, face angled slightly to the side in focus, “I was beginning to think you ditched me.”

You shoot him a glare behind his back and contemplate whether you should throw the drink that you bought for him at him. Instead, you say nothing and put the drink down next to his things, making sure it was in a spot that was safe from the surroundings.

Renjun looks back at you, instantly noticing that you were now holding an entire Starbucks drink in your hand, completely missing the one sitting by his things. “Didn’t know they had a Starbucks in the washroom.” His tone is dripping with sarcasm and hints of irritation. He still can’t believe he’s actually been working on the graph for almost two hours on his own.

“Oh yeah, they just opened one a week ago,” you shoot back. You plop into your previous place and sit there, taking out your phone to distract you from Renjun.

You don’t realize how much time has passed when you see a pair of feet stop in front of you. You’re brought to look up at the owner, “What do you want?”

“I want a break.” Renjun answers flatly, “I’m done with the graph. Now work on transferring it.” He holds out the same draft he had shown you earlier, waiting for you to take it. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to show his shoulders and he’s using a small towel, that was originally supposed to be for the paintbrushes, to wipe his forehead.

“Sure” was all you said before snatching the draft from his fingertips.

All the hard work was done for you. Transferring it was easy.

Gathering the supplies you needed, chalk, paintbrushes, and white paint, you get going on transmitting the draft onto the wall. The moment you start the rough sketch of the mural, you feel a wave of nostalgia hit you, remembering the countless activity books you completed as a kid. You can distinctly recall the pages where one side displayed a cute drawing of an animal or character of some sort, overlaid by a graph, while the page next to it shows an empty graph in which you were instructed to redraw the completed picture. This was exactly like that, only bigger and not for leisure.

Your delight in starting distracts you easily from Renjun, who you unknowingly finally notices the drink you had gotten him not even thirty minutes earlier. Although he’s a bit puzzled by the drink, remembering damn well that he never got the drink himself, he lets his line of sight drift to your half-finished drink sitting by your things. When realization begins settling in, he does one more thing to confirm his thoughts.

Twisting the drink in his grasp, Renjun faces the sticker label towards him, eyes instantly finding what he was looking for.

*Y/N*

His eyes flicker up to you, standing firmly at the top of the step ladder, unaware of the fact that his eyes have widened and the corners of his mouth have climbed higher on his face. Despite the fact he’s thankful and a bit sorry that he was giving you attitude the second you got back from your ‘washroom break,’ the larger part of Renjun that’s still certainly irritated with you doesn’t say thank you.

Not out loud at least.

FIVE.

Painting a mural required many steps because painting on a giant wall was different to painting on a smaller, feasible canvas. You and Renjun were lucky enough that the wall had already been painted white, which you guess covered whatever was painted underneath.

Two shifts ago, you both had managed to finish the outline of the image you both had prepared for the mural, and the shift after that, you both opted to outline the main subjects of the mural with the base colours.

Although no problems had really arisen between the both of you (if you didn’t count small arguments about what shade of said colour a balloon should be), one weird thing you both noticed was the fact that none of you will willingly start on the same side as the other. You were no professional artist, nor have you been painting your entire life, but you knew damn well that the process of painting an image often involved starting at one part of the painting (usually the top) before working towards the other end. But regardless, the mural was, to your surprise, looking well done.

Today was the third day, and counting, of painting said first layer, and if you were being honest, you were having the fun you expected when you first applied for the gig. But you knew it was probably because you and Renjun simply chose not to speak with each other, aside from the simple ‘where’s the thicker paintbrush’ or ‘can you hand me that (mural painting tool here),’ there was an unspoken almost-truce between the two of you.

Leaning towards the wall, you apply lavender-coloured paint in short strokes, following the shape of the balloon you’ve been working for the past eleven minutes. You have music playing through your headphones, the volume just above half, and you can’t help but bop your head to the music.

“It’s almost five,” Renjun says quietly to you. He’s been working in silence the past few hours, but he almost loses track of time because of how caught up he’s gotten with painting. If it hadn’t been for the watch on his wrist, he would have gone overtime.

You don’t reply to him, continuing with your painting while Renjun begins to clean up. He finishes up with what he was working on before climbing down the ladder. He rinses the brush down and dries it, placing it into the paintbrush container that was provided for you both. Noticing that you haven’t moved from your spot, Renjun calls out to you again, “Hey! It’s almost five. We need to start cleaning up.”

Renjun sighs when he realizes you still can’t hear him, forcing him to walk up to you to catch your attention. He tugs gently at your jeans, which almost immediately catch your attention. You pull one side of your headphones off and glare down at him, “What do you want?”

“I said it’s five,” Renjun reciprocates your attitude, “Start cleaning up.” He turns away and starts gathering his things.

You blow a stray piece of hair from in front of your face and roll your eyes, though you are surprised that Renjun had the decency to let you know it’s time to go. You climb down your own ladder and do just as Renjun did earlier before carefully placing everything into a large storage bin. Then, once you were sure all the supplies were gathered inside the bin, you go to retrieve the step ladder, folding it so that you could use your shoulder to carry it. Renjun stands at one side of the bin to help you carry it, already having his belongings hanging from one shoulder.

It takes you both no longer than a minute to return the supplies to the closet, leaving with a goodbye to Irene, but no exchanges between the two of you (unsurprisingly). You let Renjun leave first, staying back to text Yeji where she and Jaemin were.

At the library studying!

Jaemin brought brownies

Say less.

You arrive at the library within the length of two songs, immediately finding the two sitting in the area that you all usually sat at. You were expecting them to be deep in focus, table drowning in pages and textbooks of their respective classes, but instead, you catch Yeji telling Jaemin to ‘shut up before we’re kicked out.’

“I thought you guys were supposed to be studying,” you snort, taking the spot next to Yeji. After standing for hours straight, being able to finally sit down felt good in the knees.

“Yeah, we were, but then Jaemin decided to bring up the topic of ugliest animals and we’ve been arguing ever since.” Yeji glares at Jaemin, “He claims that axolotls are the ugliest, but I say they’re cute.”

Jaemin starts laughing but you send him a look that was similar to Yeji’s, “Axolotls are cute, what are you even saying!?” Yeji’s eyes widen as she brings a hand up to cover your mouth. She shushes you.

She removes her hand from your mouth and you repeat yourself, but lower your volume, “What are you even saying? They look like they’re smiling.”

Jaemin gasps, “Excuse me? Name an animal uglier than an axolotl.”

“Easy.” You shrug and answer flatly, “You.” Obviously joking, you wave your hand as if to shoo away the statement, “Just kidding. A blobfish. Those are ugly as shit.”

Jaemin’s brows furrow as he leans forward towards his laptop to search it up. The way his face contorts itself makes you laugh, looking at you as if he’s seen the most disgusting image known to man (which probably did), “Shit, you’re right.”

You nod, “Exactly.”

Yeji laughs because she knows she won the argument thanks to your help. She quickly moves on with the topic, twisting the chair to face you, “So, how was your shift today?” Yeji’s expecting to hear something entertaining, especially since you’re working with Renjun.

“It was fine,” you say, “But it’s been like the past few days where me or Renjun don’t even talk to each other except for maybe the start and end. We work on the opposite sides of the mural anyways, so there’s no conflict. I’ve just been listening to my own music, too, so even if he does want to talk, he has to make an effort, which I know he won’t do.”

“Oh,” Yeji says, “Well, at least it isn’t as bad as those first few days. You guys just both sound done with each other.” You nodded and play with your phone in hand, not noticing the way Yeji’s attention diverts to Jaemin, “Oh right!”

“Hm?”

“Jaemin, tell Y/N what you were telling me about Renjun!” Your ears perk up at the mention of Renjun and possible gossip. Jaemin, though introverted, loved to branch out which meant he knew people through people. You wonder what type of stuff he’s heard of Renjun through acquaintances. This should be good.

For the hundredth time within the hour, Jaemin is distracted from his pending paper, but he doesn’t mind. He’d do anything to get away from actually working on it. Besides, he still has a week to work on it. “Oh, right!” He sits up and slides his computer to the side, “It’s interesting actually.”

The way Jaemin starts has you leaning in out of curiosity. This is probably what Yeji feels when you’re preparing to tell her about your day at the gig. “What is it?”

Jaemin lets out a ‘haha,’ then begins, “So, my friend Jeno knows Donghyuck because they went to high school together, and Donghyuck was the guy that was with Renjun that day at the dining hall, so we all basically know each other. I just don’t know Renjun as well because the dude is M.I.A. almost all the time.”

“Mm-hmm, go on.”

“I was telling Jeno how you were doing the painting gig with Renjun—don’t worry I didn’t say anything ’bout how you sorta loathe the guy—and Jeno was saying how Renjun’s always using his free time doing stuff like that.” Jaemin stops talking as if he’s explained every single detail he can about his small story.

“What stuff?” You gesture for him to keep going because you’re missing a handful of information, “You can’t just end it there, the fuck?”

Jaemin laughs again, “Okay, okay, sorry. But in fairness, I was curious too so I said the same thing and asked Jeno to explain it a bit more.” The brown of Jaemin’s eyes visibly move upwards as he tries to recall what Jeno told him, “He told me that Renjun is always M.I.A. because he’s been volunteering at different places. He used to work at an animal shelter downtown, then quit to volunteer at the homeless shelter for women and children. But he quit that too, now he’s been volunteering at the retirement home near here. I guess he took up the painting gig for money though.”

You burst out laughing, “Ah, Na Jaemin…”

“What!?”

“Thank you for the laugh, Jaems,” you say, “But that’s such a bad joke. There’s no way Renjun’s done those things. If it is true, we’re not talking about the same Renjun.” The Renjun you know doing all that stuff? Please… it sounds like something straight out of a book.

“His name is Huang Renjun, right?” Jaemin’s head tilts to the side. You nod. “Then, it’s him.” You gawk at your friend, “I’m sorry, it’s just… hard to believe that Renjun—the same guy who acts like some douche to total strangers—has done all of that.” It’s hard to picture it all, but it explains why Renjun decided to take up the daycare gig. It was all adding up now, but you’re not letting the realization settle that easily. “It was hard for me to believe it, too, especially with what you’ve told us about him.” Jaemin uses his arm to prop his head up, “But, I trust Jeno. There’s no reason for him to make all of that up.” Jaemin has a point. You don’t know who this ‘Jeno’ is, but there really would be no use in making this up.

“You’re not making this up, are you?” You ask Jaemin. It’s still seriously hard to believe that all of this information was plausible. It’s as if Renjun, who you always viewed in a bad light, was now picked up and dropped under a new light. One in which you couldn’t even pinpoint if it were good or bad. Curiosity was getting ahead of you and you didn’t like it.

He shakes his head, “Why would I? Ask Renjun if you really don’t believe me.”

“No thanks…” You shake your head, “There’s no way I’m going to ask him about anything. Especially not that.”

“Suit yourself,” Jaemin pulls his laptop back to its previous position, “Anyways, I need to get back to writing this paper.”

With Yeji turning back to her own work, you’re left alone with your thoughts and the newfound idea of Renjun actually being… nice. It coincided with your earlier idea of Renjun repping a smile instead of the seemingly permanent scowl on his face. No, you weren’t suddenly switching up with how you felt with Renjun because, despite the fact that there is this huge possibility that he spends his free time doing generous deeds, it didn’t automatically dismiss the way he’s been treating you. You guess it was just nice knowing that this sort of mini-hell you’ve been going through because of Renjun can finally be put to a stop.

°•. ✿ .•°

“For Renjun?”

Renjun looks up from his phone before making his way to the counter. He quickly stuffs his phone into his pocket and grabs the drink he’s been craving for the past few days, “Thank you.”

“Have good one!”

“You as well.”

Renjun makes his way out of the cafe, cold drink in hand. At the back of his head, he wonders where Donghyuck is, because according to the time, his class should have been finished ten minutes ago and he still hasn’t texted. That wasn’t like Donghyuck at all. Usually, he would be bombarding the boy with spam texts asking where he was even though he already knew where Renjun would be waiting.

Even with that thought, Renjun shrugs it off, knowing that Donghyuck would find his way to him somehow. He decides to sit down at a nearby table, placing his bag on the chair next to him before fishing his phone back out of his pocket.

As Renjun finally decides to take a sip out of his drink, his mind frustratingly wanders back to that one shift when you’d bought him the drink without his knowledge. He still doesn’t know how you managed to get him his usual, especially since he’s aware he’s never told you it.

He rakes through the depths of his brain to recall when you could have seen him with the drink. The one time you bumped into each other at this Starbucks, it was Donghyuck’s drink he was getting, so there was no way you saw it there. The one or two interactions after that, he doesn’t remember having a drink in hand.

Then he remembers. The day before the first shift.

How the hell could you have remembered that? Were you that attentive?

Why am I thinking so hard about a damn drink?

Maybe it was because the stupid drink was the reason why Renjun’s been feeling a pang of guilt everytime he’s with you. It took that one small random act of kindness to draw Renjun’s attention to the fact he was the one who often started the arguments and bickering between the two of you and you simply just returned his attitude.

“Hey!” Suddenly, a body leaps out from behind him, almost weighing both Renjun and the other person down. It takes a moment for Renjun to realize who it was. He doesn’t even need to turn around to look. In fact, he’s not even startled by what Donghyuck had hoped was a jumpscare.

“What’s up?” Renjun questions, “What took you so long?”

Donghyuck shrugs and plops into the chair in front of Renjun, “What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing,” Renjun retorts. He takes another sip out of his drink and tries to act it off.

Donghyuck shakes his head, “You’re thinking about something. I know because your eye is twitching.” He brings his finger way too close to Renjun’s eye, “I can see it. Now you have to tell me.”

Renjun gives Donghyuck a look before glancing back down at the iced matcha latte sitting right in front of him. Sure, Donghyuck knows of you, but he doesn’t know of the interactions between the two of you. Renjun just doesn’t see the importance of telling Donghyuck these things. But maybe telling someone will get Renjun’s gears turning.

So Renjun tells Donghyuck. From the coffee encounters, to the gig, the rough drafts, the drink, and painting. He makes sure not to miss a detail, trying to avoid sounding biased. He wants to know what Donghyuck’s going to say about this situation and he knows that sounding biased wouldn’t grant answers that fit with the situation.

“It’s the fact that she still found the will to do something nice for me even though I’ve been a literal ass to her,” Renjun taps his index finger against the lid of his drink, “It’s not even that big of a deal but it’s been bugging me.”

Donghyuck sits in silence for a few moments, trying to muster up the perfect thing to tell his friend. “I really don’t know what else to tell you except that you’re stubborn as hell.”

Renjun’s taken aback, “What?”

“Sure, she probably felt bad for making you do the grid thingy on your own, but you’re right. You have been an ass,” Donghyuck bluntly continues.

“So everything that’s lead up until now… it’s my fault?”

“Well, not completely,” Donghyuck points out, “Both of you guys seem to want to spite each other. Plus, you both seem really stubborn, which, adding both of those together, equals a shit show. But, if I were being honest, you started the whole hating each other thing. I feel like if you were nice to her, then she’d be even nicer to you. A bigger person move would be to apologize and be nice.”

It’s once in a blue moon that Donghyuck’s words made sense. Renjun thinks it through—if he were to apologize, or start being nice to you, how would you even react? Wouldn’t it be odd for him to just switch up like that?

Renjun sighs. He feels like ripping his hair out. Maybe he won’t apologize just yet, not when his feelings are foggy. And maybe he won’t actively do nice things, only until he finally senses you wouldn’t react weirdly. He’ll just stop trying to spite you.

“You’re right,” Renjun nods. Donghyuck grins proudly at his friend.

Maybe that’ll do it.

At least he hopes it will.

SIX.

Painting day… five? Six? You’ve lost count if you were being entirely honest.

But it’s not that it mattered.

What mattered was the extremely ironic fact that you had somehow forgotten your earphones at your bedside table when you made it your number one priority on days like these in order to avoid any sort of conversation (or argument) with Renjun. But then again, there was probably a reason why the world had the audacity to pull such a thing.

Since that day at the library, you had not been able to kick the thought of Renjun doing angelic things during his free time when he’s literally been the human embodiment of bird poop on a windshield to you. The curious part of you was itching to ask him about it, see if the way he spoke about it would bring out that hidden angel in him. But when you continue to think about it, you weren’t sure if you would be overstepping some type of imaginary boundary that the both of you had mutually set up. Was there even a right time to ask him about it all? You can’t imagine a time where you and Renjun would even be close enough to have a conversation with the topic. Even now, just physically, Renjun still chooses to paint near the other end of the mural.

Well, as far as progress took him.

“You know if you painted as much as you’ve been staring at me, we’d be done this mural.” Renjun’s voice knocks you back into reality and it’s only then that you realize that you’re blatantly looking at him.

Feeling a rush of heat run through your cheeks, you look away, “Sorry.” You quickly look away and try to make yourself busy with the area you were painting at, brushing the paintbrush despite already having painted that part.

“There’s no paint on your brush,” Renjun points out. He wants to laugh but he tells himself not to because it isn’t ‘on brand.’ Pshh… as if that mattered… but it did to him.

“Oh… oh right,” you laugh awkwardly and dip the paint into the closest colour, bringing it up with no thought.

“And that’s the wrong colour,” Renjun points out again.

You look over at the mural and see that you’ve painted an entirely different colour on top of another colour. You gasp and put the brush down, “I’ll just… repaint it.”

There’s silence as you hurry to clean your brush, using a dirty rag to wipe off the wrong paint so that the remaining remnants of it can dry out quicker. You don’t notice Renjun side-eyeing you, contemplating whether he should say something about the constant mistakes you just made. But then he remembers what Donghyuck told him.

“Are you okay?”

You’re thrown off from the words that just left Renjun’s mouth. You almost snap your neck when you turn to look at him, eyes wide, “Huh?”

He isn’t looking at you, instead keeping his attention steady on what he’s painting, “Are you okay? You seem distracted.”

He’s an empath too? Wait, is that even how an empath is?

“Anyone can see you’re thinking about something.”

And a mind reader?

You are very much close to panicking, blinking at Renjun with no words to say. You’re contemplating whether this was the right time to tell Renjun what you know about him and ask him about it. “It’s nothing, it’s just…”

Renjun turns to look at you for half a second, then turns back to the wall. It’s like he was prompting you to say whatever you were wanting to say.

“I was just curious,” You start, “I heard that you volunteered at the retirement home near campus?” There was no other way to put it. You hope that you don’t sound creepy, as if you’ve been stalking him recently.

“Hmm?” This gets Renjun hooked, “Where did you hear that?”

“Jaemin told me.”

“Ah~ Jeno’s friend,” Renjun replies. Although the conversation has, so far, been awkward, you subconsciously knew it was an improvement from the bickering you both did. It was more civil, and you were actually glad it's taken a turn towards that direction. “What about it?” Renjun holds back the attitude that otherwise would have been evident if he weren’t trying to be nice to you.

You shrug and tighten your lips toward one side of your face, “Like I said. I was just curious.”

Renjun tries not to take anything of what you said, turning back to his painting.

Then you quickly add, “Do you have–uh–any stories?”

Renjun looks at you again and he can feel his interest in this conversation rising. He’s had many stories that he wants to share with his friends, but when he does share them, he’s left with the realization that no one’s listening. “I have a few actually.”

“Can I hear one?” You asked, “Sorry…. I have a soft spot for the elderly… you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Renjun shakes his head, “I’d love to, actually.” You begin to paint once again, this time properly, while you wait for Renjun to begin his story.

“My favourite story since I’ve started volunteering at the retirement home is probably when someone had the genius idea to play hide ‘n seek with the active elders.” Renjun snorts at the memory. A small smile rises up onto his face, but you don’t notice. He continues, “I was the seeker, which wasn’t a good idea since I was new and I wasn’t really familiar with any of the residents there, but I thought it would fun, so I still agreed.

I counted to fifty, and there were rules where they were allowed to go and everything. Just on the main floor, and I remember the activities director made it clear that they were only allowed on the first floor. So when I went to look for them, I found all of them pretty quickly, except one.”

“Don’t tell me he… you know…”

“No he didn’t die!” Renjun gives you a look, “Why in the world would that be my favourite story?”

You shrug, “I mean, you seem like the kind of person to.”

Renjun lets this comment slide and continues, “I looked for him for almost an entire hour. One entire hour. It got to the point where a lot of the other volunteers dropped what they were doing and helped out. I was actually panicking because where else could an old man be in a building that wasn’t too big. Then the phone rang and the desk lady answered it, all she heard was snickering and I knew right then and there that it was that man. He was playing us.”

You couldn’t help but laugh quietly, “Wait, so where was he?”

“We gave up looking. We knew he’d come out sooner or later. It was just enough for us that he was alive,” Renjun retorts, “RIght before my shift ended, the same man walks in through the door with a whole box of beer in one hand and ice cream in the other.” Renjun’s laughing now and the sound takes you by surprise. It was probably the first time you’re hearing him laugh.

You begin laughing along, “That sounds straight out of a movie! How the hell did he get out unnoticed?”

Renjun shrugs, “Beats me. But I like to think that as my favourite story because he fooled us all. And no one knows what he did in those hours he was gone.”

“I get why it’s your favourite.” You can tell just by the way Renjun told his story that he enjoyed these things. You’d think that, because the old man caused so much chaos, he would not deem that as his favourite moment, but you were wrong.

“Yeah,” he nods, “Then a close second would be the times they ask me to sing them their favourite songs. You can really see how playing something as simple as here comes the sun affects their day.”

It didn’t occur to you, at first, that Renjun just indirectly told you that he can sing—though you weren’t sure if he was good or not—but you were still dumbfounded, “You sing?”

“Sometimes,” he hums, “But it’s really nothing. Old people are impressed by anything.” Renjun puts the paintbrush down and flicks his wrist up to check the time, “Anyways, time’s almost up. We should start cleaning up.”

And you both do. You both go through your usual cleaning routine before dragging all everything back into the daycare’s small closet. Once you were both were ready to leave, you go your separate ways, saying goodbye each other with small, subtle waves.

And you know what was funny about all of this?

For the first time ever since you both met, there was zero negative intent behind any of your guys’ thoughts and actions.

SEVEN.

One new thing that you’ve learned from Renjun was that he was a pretty good storyteller, and alongside that, he had lots of stories to tell.

Wait that’s two things.

Nevermind that… The last two shifts of painting were pleasingly occupied with Renjun going on and on about his experiences at his volunteering opportunities. He jumped from talking about dogs giving birth to dressing up as an elf for an event at the children’s hospital—it’s like he’s lived so many lives in one.

A small part of you was jealous of the fact that he was able to experience all of this in such a small amount of time, but hearing these stories through him made up for that pint of jealousy. After one of his stories, Renjun had stopped what he was doing and turned to you, “Do you have any stories?”

You were slightly taken aback by the question, “Me?” It was a genuine question.

He nodded before putting down some strokes of paint, “Yeah. Do you have any stories?” There’s a tone in his voice that told you that he was being serious. He wasn’t being the Renjun that you’ve grown to know the past few weeks—but then again, maybe that Renjun wasn’t who Renjun really was.

“Not really,” you replied, “But don’t worry about me.”

“It doesn’t need to be like my stories,” he pointed out, “Just a story.” Renjun gave you time to think of a story, providing some prompts for you so that you were able to come up with one on the spot.

“How about a time when you thought you were actually done for?”

At that, you feel a memory surface from your first year of university when you, Yeji, and Jaemin were caught underage drinking in Jaemin’s dorm by the RA, so you told him the story. How you all were completely drained from your first set of midterms and how drugs weren’t the best resort. So why not drink? You remember Jaemin had gotten a bottle or two of soju from his friend from a frat and he’s been keeping it for ‘times like these.’ In the middle of the small binge, someone knocked on the door, and you remember Jaemin saying he was expecting somebody and was stupid enough to not actually look out the peephole before opening the door.

“And guess who it was?” you questioned.

“Ummm,” Renjun lined one of the pictures, “His friend?”

“Nope,” you shook your head, “It was an RA. Out of all the people. It really had to be an RA. We were caught and he threatened to tell a higher-up, I’m not sure who.” Though it wasn’t that much of a problem, you remember your seventeen-year-old self feeling fear that was probably harnessed from tens of people. You were scared—no—you were horrified. It hadn’t even been two full months into the semester and you’re already in trouble.. “You should’ve seen how me and Yeji were begging for forgiveness. It was probably the deepest bow I’ve ever bowed.”

“What happened, then?”

“Right in the middle of our apologies, the RA and Jaemin started laughing like maniacs,” you recalled, “Yeji and I looked up and they were laughing at us.” You click your tongue against your teeth, “That motherfucker Jaemin pranked us. The RA wasn’t an actual RA.”

Renjun bursted out into laughter, “Are you serious?”

You brought yourself to laugh, “Yes. I was so close to ending my friendship with Jaemin. But he treated us to food the next week so… It’s kind of a stupid story but I can still remember how I felt when it happened.”

“No, I get it,” Renjun replies. He stands back from the mural to look at you, “Especially knowing how seriously they act on underage drinking, that must’ve been scary.”

“Yeah, I think that’s mainly why Yeji and I were freaking out,” you nod. Realizing that you’ve finally finished the section you’ve been working on for the afternoon, you put the paintbrush down and pick up a rag.

“Are you done for today?” Renjun questions. You look over at him and he’s still putting down strokes of paints, “What time is it?”

You’re still trying to get used to you and Renjun getting along despite it being a good two weeks since you both had chosen to become civil with each other. But at the same time, it felt like weight was being taken off of your shoulders. It wasn’t like Renjun was a burden, but every time you had a shift at the daycare, you never really had the motivation to go because of him.

But it was different now.

“There’s still like fifteen minutes before shift ends,” you say, glancing at your phone, “Wanna start cleaning?”

Renjun nods, “Let me just finish this and I’ll be right behind you.”

°•. ✿ .•°

“Afternoon, Joy,” Renjun enters the daycare with a gentle smile, “How’s your day been?”

Joy grins from behind her computer, “Great, I guess. Yours?”

“Not bad.” Joy nods in response, “I’m sorry, I should have said this sooner, but today’s shift has been moved last minute.” She moves her rolling chair to the side so that she’s able to give Renjun all her attention.

Renjun frowns, “Why’s that?” He’s not sure if he could even think of a reason why a shift could be cancelled and moved, “Have you told Y/N?”

“Forecast says there’s going to be heavy rain today, so I think it would be better not to put new paint on the mural in case it gets washed off easily,” Joy states. At the end of her explanation, you enter the building with a quick greeting, situating yourself next to Renjun.

“But isn’t the rain for tonight? That seems to be enough for the paint to dry.”

“What’s going on?” You asked obliviously.

Renjun nods, “Our shift’s cancelled for today because of the rain.”

“Yes, but it’s better safe than sorry,” Joy sighs, “But you guys can go and have a rest day for today. I’ll see you both in a few days!”

Without another word, Joy swings herself back to her computer and you and Renjun leave the building slightly confused. The sky looked perfectly normal on the way here. The air was still. There was no sign of a storm happening tonight. But Joy’s statements were confirmed when you pulled out your handy-dandy cellphone and tapped at the weather app.

“She’s right,” you hold the phone for Renjun to look and he simply nods, “I guess I’ll see you next shift?” Adjusting your bag on your shoulder, you wait for Renjun’s response. He nods.

“Yeah, I will.” Then you and Renjun begin walking down the same direction. You both hesitate before taking another step, giving each other a look. “Where are you going?”

“My dorm room.” “Oh, me too,” Renjun laughs awkwardly, “Uh… wanna walk together then?”

“I don’t have a choice, do I?” you joke as you begin walking. Renjun follows shortly, keeping a good distance between you both. He chooses to walk your pace, keeping his eyes trained on the pavement in front of him. Although he feels like it should be awkward, there’s a comfortable silence between the both of you.

It’s when the air starts feeling more humid than earlier that Renjun notices that it has started raining. At first, he didn’t mind it. The way the rain fell onto his head softly tickled him, but he liked it. It felt like soft kisses, if that even made sense. He looks over at you and he notices that you’re not bothered by the rain either.

“It’s like Joy has superpowers,” you say, “One second, the sky’s blue, now it’s raining.” You only hope that the rain doesn’t get worse than now. Your dorm room is still a bit of a walk away and you’re not in the mood to get drenched.

Renjun nods, “Next thing we know, it’s pouring.”

And as if someone had snapped their fingers, the rain gets heavier, pelting you and Renjun from above. The raindrops completely contrast how they just were, thick and feeling like punches instead of the shower of kisses. You gasp and slip your bag off, bringing it into your arms to protect your expensive belongings inside.

“What the hell!?” You say over the loud pitter patters of the droplets. You don’t know why you’re frozen in place. Perhaps it was the rush of cold water washing over you.

Renjun thinks differently, opting to make a break for it. He glances over at you in near panic, noticing immediately that you’re not moving at all. Then, without thinking, Renjun takes no longer than a second to pull you along with him, sprinting down the narrowing pathway as it leads to the nearest building. He swings the door open, careful not to hit you in the process. When he takes out a key identical to yours, you realize then that this was his dorm building, “I think you should stay in my dorm while you wait it out. You might get sick.” You hesitate and think this situation through. Going to Renjun’s dorm? Were you even that close? What if–

“If you’re thinking about what I think you’re thinking, no I’m not,” Renjun grumbles, “Let’s go.” He waves you in and you’re led to impulsively deciding that, yes, you will accept his offer. And it’s mostly because you don’t want to be drenched in the rain, nor do you want to stand in this hot vestibule for however long the rain will last.

“I hope the dorm isn’t messy, but it’s mostly my roommate who’s messy.” It sounds like Renjun’s speaking to himself but you know he’s trying to warn you. He’s walking a few strides in front of you, looking back subtly to make sure you’re actually following him down the hall.

Soon, you find yourself walking through Renjun’s front door, greeted with a waft of some kind of candle scent. You can’t really pinpoint the smell to its exact fragrance, but you can describe it as homey–something warm and welcoming.

“Lonjoon!” A voice exclaims from the small couch, “You’re ho– oh, hello?”

You recognize the boy who stands up from the couch as Donghyuck, both from the times you’ve encountered Renjun and from Jaemin. You wave awkwardly, “Sorry for intruding.”

Renjun speaks up, “Y/N’s dorm building is by the edge of campus and it’s pouring outside. I offered for her to stay here while we wait for it to stop.”

“I don’t mind,” Donghyuck grins, “Hmm, so you’re Y/N? I’ve heard a bunch of things about you from Renjun! I’m Donghyuck.”

Your brow cocks and you give Renjun, who’s sliding his shoes off and fixing them to the side, a look before turning back to Donghyuck, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” he says, “You’re just as pretty as Renjun sa–”

Renjun throws his damp hoodie at Donghyuck’s face with the goal of shutting him up, “How about you go to your room and we take the living room?” Renjun approaches his best friend, holding him by his shoulders before pushing him in the direction of one of the rooms. It’s funny simply because he doesn’t even wait for him to reply.

Once he has gotten rid of Donghyuck, Renjun turns on his toes to face you, “Sorry, that’s just how he is… don’t listen to him, he makes stuff up all the time.” And although Renjun’s actually telling the truth—because no, he’s never called you pretty in front Donghyuck—he knows Donghyuck’s comments are believable to those who aren’t used to his shenanigans.

There were two ways you could go about it. Ignore him and make the situation less awkward, or tease him and see what he says. Either choice would be funny, especially because you could see that this boy is on edge with what his friend just said. But since you’re feeling nice, you choose the former option, “So, what do you plan on doing while we wait for the rain?”

Renjun quietly sighs in relief, “We can put something on to watch? I’m just not sure what we should watch though.” He makes his way to the couch and he gestures you to sit in the spot next to him.

It’s crazy how your mind works in times like these. At the back of your head, you almost make sure to keep an array of movies to watch, ones that you’re sure everyone would be content with. But with Renjun, one movie hovers above the others because you could still recall your astonishment when this whole adult man hadn’t seen the one movie you adore with your heart.

“How about the Pursuit of Happyness?” you say, “You haven’t seen it… so why not now?”

Renjun nods, “Yeah, sure. That sounds good to me.” Within a few clicks of the remote, the movie begins and Renjun’s offering you some snacks he managed to pull from the kitchen (or that have already been there, courtesy of Donghyuck). The rain outside is still going at it, but the movie masks the sound of the raindrops striking repeatedly against the windows.

Renjun’s incredibly entangled in the film. You can easily catch this in the way his eyes were steady on the screen as he leans towards it. He mutters comments every now and then, ones that complement your own thoughts of the film.

“It’s… it’s just going downhill,” Renjun frowns. His eyes finally leave the screen about half way through the movie, “I can’t believe you’re making me watch this. If it has a bad ending, I’m holding you against the emotional damage I’ll be experiencing.”

“I mean you did agree to watch it,” you point out. Biting your lip, you hold a laugh back despite the movie not even being comedic. It’s Renjun and his current state that’s making you laugh. It’s new territory for you, if that was even the right way to describe it.

So far, you’ve only met the stubborn and spiteful Renjun, and most recently, the generous and compassionate Renjun. His actual character, you’ve learned, sits in the middle of both of those. But the one you’re watching this movie with was different. He was vulnerable, ready to cry whenever the movie finally pushes past his breaking point. But you’re glad to see that he isn’t afraid to show it to you, especially since you both were still just starting this odd friendship.

“What the fuck. I can’t do this shit. What the hell?” You snap out of your mini trance and you realize why a string of profanities are leaving Renjun’s mouth. It was the very scene that had you bawling like a baby the first time you watched it, and tearing up now. The scene at the subway station.

You let Renjun watch it, keeping silent as you pay attention to the screen, too. You could feel your heart ache, the scene grasping it, as your mouth grew into a frown.

In a hushed tone, Renjun questions out loud, “Please tell me that this is the worst it gets?” Looking over at Renjun, you notice that he’s actually crying. There were tears streaming down his face and he’s sniffling like he’s caught the annual flu.

“I don’t want to spoil it,” you retort, sniffling yourself. Looking around, you spot a tissue box sitting at the centre of the coffee table in front of both of you. You reach for it, holding it out to Renjun.

“Thanks,” he sniffles. Once Renjun’s finished blowing his nose, he falls silent again, attention all on the movie. He’s so attentive that you know thoughts are running through his head at an unreadable pace.

Next thing you know, the movie’s end credits are rolling and Renjun flops into the couch’s cushion, “I get why you were surprised when I said I haven’t seen that movie.” He turns his head to face you, “Because that was a good movie.”

The way Renjun’s looking at you causes you to shrink under his gaze, though it wasn’t in a way where you were cowering. You felt… shy? There wasn’t a word that was coming up that described it precisely, but shy was alarmingly close. “I’m glad you liked it.” He stretches his lips into some form of lazy grin. There’s a very brief silence between you both but it was enough for you to recognize that the rain had stopped, or at least, it had gotten weaker over the past few hours.

“Oh the rain’s stopped,” you say quickly, “I guess I’ll get going then.” Within seconds, you’re up and grabbing your belongings. Then, you’re at the door, slipping your sneakers on thoughtlessly. At that point, you’re aware that it’s almost dinner time and the sun’s probably setting if you could see past the clouds.

Renjun follows you to the door, “It looks dark out, do you want me to walk with you?”

If your life were a reality TV show, this would be when the camera unsteadily zooms into your face as it simultaneously changes expressions into one that’s a mix of confusion and shock. “No, it’s fine, there’s probably some people walking from class.” The door’s open behind you and you’re ready to sprint out. But Renjun stops you.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” he grins, “I’ll see you around.”

“Goodnight, Renjun.”

Renjun waves and shuts the door. He lets out a huff before turning around to find Donghyuck standing there with the most irritating smirk sitting on his face.

“What?”

Donghyuck gasps, “Nothing!”

Renjun pushes past him to turn the TV off before going to fold the blanket he was previously using, “Then don’t make that face if you don’t have a reason.”

Donghyuck snickers and shakes his head in a way that only irked Renjun even more. He chooses not to say anything else because he knows that Renjun’s mind works fast enough to work two and two together.

That’s how it usually works, at least.

EIGHT.

Routines are meant to be routines.

Every shift you and Renjun were supposed to arrive, bring the supplies you needed to the wall, paint, realize that it’s time to clean up, and then leave. While you both painted, Renjun’s role was to tell one of his many experiences and your usual role was to listen. If not, comfortable silence or music will often fill that silence.

But today was different.

You and Renjun were finally painting the second layer of the mural, and although it initially wasn’t necessary, the second layer of paint gave the painting a bolder look. So you both went for it.

The day was going as it usually would. Renjun had finished a more recent story from the old folks’ home, going on about how he’s excited for Thursday. “Throwback Thursday. We play music and shows and films from their times. Even if they already do that anyway, it’s a bit more special because practically all the residents attend.”

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun,” you say genuinely, “I can’t imagine the nostalgia they go through.” You squat down and dip the paintbrush into the paint.

“How about you come with me, then?” Renjun offers, “Are you busy on Thursday?” He stands and waits for your reply, watching as you freeze suddenly at his question. You only freeze because this isn’t how it usually was. He’s supposed to say something like ‘it is fun’ or go on to tell you a story about a previous throwback Thursday. But asking you to come with him?

“Me?” You verbalize, “Come with you?”

“Yeah!” Renjun nods, “They love getting all the help they can get.” He carelessly strokes the brush against the wall and watches as the concrete completely disappears underneath the paint. “And it would be cool for you to be there. That way we can share one of these stories.”

“Um…” You don’t like using agendas, but right now would have been the right time to have one. “I’m not sure, actually. I’ll let you know before then, though. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Day of is fine, too.”

The minute you get home, you feel a strong urge to tell Yeji about the invitation. But knowing Yeji, you know damn well she’s going to convince you to go.

You guess correctly when she peeks over her laptop and over at you after you’re brief ramble about it. “Didn’t you say that you and Renjun were on better terms now?” You nodded. “Well, I think there wouldn’t be any harm in going. Imagine how horrible you’d look if you rejected that opportunity.”

“Renjun would understand,” you say quietly.

“Well, do you want to go?” Yeji questioned.

You blink at your best friend, “It’s not that I don’t want to go. It’s just…” You pause and try to think about why you’re stressing about something that wasn’t even that big of a deal. Renjun literally just invited you to volunteer. It’s not like he asked you on a date (and why would he?). It was just the idea of him actually asking you to spend time with him outside of that gig that made you stop and think.

“There’s your answer.”

“Huh?” your head tilts to the side, “Answer? Where?”

Yeji snorts and turns her attention back to her laptop, “You just said ‘it’s not that I don’t want to go.’ That implies that you do wanna go. Then go.”

With a little bit more pushing from Yeji, you find yourself standing in front of Renjun’s dorm building that very Thursday with a tote bag and your head filled with thoughts that you couldn’t even comprehend. If you focused hard enough, you could pick out ones about what today’s dinner will be, how the residents were like outside of Renjun’s stories, and what the retirement home looked like. There were traces of what remaining tasks you needed done for the mural and if you’ve somehow left assignments unfinished. Then there were ones of Renjun and–

“Sorry for making you wait.” You jump and find Renjun appear in your field of vision. He’s fixing his crossbody bag over his shoulder, then you watch has he fixes the cap on his head, “I’m excited! Let’s go then?”

You and Renjun make small talk on the way to the retirement, which you admit, thought would be further away. But when Renjun told you that it was just a walking distance from campus, he wasn’t lying. The walk only lasted about ten minutes and the next thing you know, you’re telling the lady at the front desk your name.

“Alright, here’s your volunteer badge,” she slides you a laminated tag, “And here’s yours, Renjun!” You follow Renjun, who pins his own name tag to the left side of his chest. He pats it before saying goodbye to the lady, turning to you to see if you were set to go in.

Renjun leads the way into the main lounge area. It was a rather large room, one wall being entirely windows. By the front, or what you believed was the front, was a big fireplace, and by that fireplace, a small grand piano. On top of the fireplace was a big TV that was currently playing the news, not that anyone was paying attention.

Scattered throughout the room sat tables and padded chairs, some of which were occupied by residents. It was almost exactly how you imagined it, almost book-like, or ones you’d see in movies. It was cozy, yet not too cozy for it to be suffocating.

“Oh, Renjun, you’re here!” A slightly older guy seems to appear from the side, waving, “And you must be Y/N? Renjun told us you might be joining. Nice to see you actually did!” He sticks a hand out and grins, “I’m Taeyong. I coordinate a majority of the activities for the facility.”

You shake his hand, “Nice to meet you, Taeyong. I’m a little nervous.”

Taeyong shakes his head, “Don’t be! Everyone’s pretty nice here, especially in the afternoon.” He lets out a quiet laugh, “Well anyways, we just called down the other residents so we’re just waiting for them to come. Then we start exactly at five.”

Taeyong turns to Renjun, “You’re taking over for music right?” Renjun nods and cracks his fingers as if he’s about to go step into a boxing ring.

“I usually take the role as emcee, but I was told I had other duties to go about for the next hour,” Taeyong says carefully, “Y/N, would you mind being the emcee? I promise you it’s not that bad. I even have cue cards if you need it.” Taeyong holds out a small pile of flashcards, holding them out to you.

Renjun lights up at the idea, “It would be fun if you did it! All you have to do is prompt the songs and the residents will raise their hands. Then you go up to them and hold up the mic to their mouths for their answer. Sorta like a game show host.”

“I guess I can try,” you say carefully. What was the worse that could happen?

“Great!” Taeyong claps his hands together, “Thank you so much, Y/N. I appreciate it!” He hands you the cue cards and goes to leave, “Have fun guys!”

Once Taeyong was gone, Renjun turns to you, “I know it’s a heavy job but don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. I promise you, the old folks have gone through a lot, so slip-ups won’t matter to them at all.”

You nodded, “I hope so. You better help me up there if something goes wrong.” You give him a look of warning, though it was playful and meant well. Renjun knew how Throwback Thursdays worked—this was your first one—so you don’t really have a feel of how it should be brought out.

“I will, don’t worry,” Renjun ensures, “How bout this. I’ll do the introduction and then you go from there. That way, you’re not super lost.”

“That would help,” you grin.

Soon, little by little, the residents begin filling the room, taking seats at what you understood as their usual seats. They chattered amongst themselves, having conversations that mostly consisted of today’s weather or the news that was playing on the TV. From a nearby table, you overhear two ladies lightheartedly trash-talking each other, arguing over who would get the most correct songs for this week’s Throwback Thursday.

You can’t help but laugh at the bickering. Renjun notices this and smiles to himself. He’s glad you’re enjoying it so far. “There’s a leaderboard, if you’re wondering why they’re so serious about this,” Renjun points out, “Well not really an official one, but they keep track of it themselves. I don’t even know how but they do.”

“That explains it,” you laugh, “I think it’s cute.”

Renjun nods, “It is. They remind me of kids sometimes. They get happy over the smallest things. I admire it.”

This comment makes your heart do a ball change—two quick beats before settling back into its normal rhythm. It was just endearing seeing Renjun be all soft around what he loves doing. It only hits much harder when this wasn’t the Renjun you initially knew.

First impressions were not always the best impressions.

“I think we can start with the intro,” Renjun nudges your elbow. He starts making his way to the front of the room. You trail right behind him, respectfully greeting the residents as you make eye contact with them. They obviously weren’t familiar with you, but they still smiled nonetheless.

Renjun grabs the mic, turning it on before giving it a light tap to test it, “Good afternoon everyone! Can you all hear me?” You see some of the residents nod, others verbally responding with the loudest whoop they can let out. “Perfect! How’s everyone doing this afternoon?” There’s a chorus of different answers, but you can tell that they all were content with their day.

“I’m happy to hear that! Welcome to this week’s Throwback Thursday! I think you’re all familiar with me, my name is Renjun!” Renjun turns to you, and gestures, “Today, I have my partner Y/N with me to help out! Can we give her a warm welcome?” Similar to earlier, they enter a chorus of replies, greeting you with waves and smiles. This made you feel much more comfortable.

“Okay! So you know how all this works, I play a song on the piano, and if you know it, raise your hand. I’ll trust Y/N’s judgment on who raised their hands first. She’ll come up to you all and then you can give her the answer! Everything clear?” Again, a chorus of replies. “Then let’s begin!”

Renjun hands the mic over to you, whispering a ‘have fun’ and a ‘you got this’ before sitting down behind the piano.

You look down at the cue cards given to you by Taeyong and find that it was the list of songs that Renjun was going to play for the night. There were about twenty songs listed down along with the artist. You felt a sense of relief wash over you.

“Hello everyone! Are you all ready for the first song?” you question. You still feel a bit nervous, but from how Renjun went through with the intro, you knew exactly how you want to host. The residents cheered and you can feel the anticipation. It was nice that they were all willing to participate. “Okay, this one is really easy, so get your hands ready! Renjun, cue the music!”

Renjun smiles and nods, placing his hands on the keys for the first song. He begins playing it effortlessly and you’re a bit taken aback by the way he was playing the song well—it was My Girl by The Temptations. Renjun had only played the intro when hands were already shooting up. Your eyes naturally fall on a man seated near the windows, glasses slipping to the tip of his nose.

You grin and quickly make your way over, “I believe you had your hand up first!” Your eyes find a last name on his walker, “Mr. Moon. What’s your answer?”

You bring the mic up near his lips and nod for him to answer. Before he speaks, he leans forward, “It is My Girl by The Temptations.”

Although you already knew the answer, you still look down at the flash cards, “My, my, my…” You pretend that the answer is wrong, frowning and letting your voice trail before switching up, “My Girl by The Temptations is correct! One point for Mr. Moon!”

You hear some of the other residents chuckle at your improvisation, clapping out of joy. You don’t notice as you walk back to the front, but Renjun’s smile grows wider.

“Next song!” You read it, and hum, “This one’s a few decades newer, but I know you all will know this one!” You turn to Renjun, quietly signalling for him to begin the song. You watch the residents as they wait for Renjun to start the song’s snippet. Again he plays the intro, an easy-to-recognize sequence bouncing across the room.

A different man raises his hand first, so you move across the room swiftly. This man doesn’t have a nametag, “Do you know the answer, sir?”

“Of course I do, I remember going to their concert back in the day!” He speaks through the mic. The people around you react, eyes widening.

“Oh, so you should very well know it, right?” You question, “Were you a fan of them?”

“A big, big fan,” the man uses his hands to speak, throwing his arms to gesture something large, “Good ‘ol days. But anyways, the answer is Open Arms by Journey. One of my favourites.”

“I guess you already know that the answer is correct!” you laugh, “Can’t argue with a fan. One point for you, sir!” He nods his head in pride before you turn to walk back to the front. At this point, you’re gaining more confidence despite it barely even starting. In a way, the interactions came naturally.

“The next song is one that might not come to you all easily since it’s a bit newer, but I guarantee that at least one of you will know it,” you say through the mic.

Renjun begins with the intro, and you’re familiar with the song because you’ve heard your parents play it plenty of times in the car growing up. So far, none of the residents had brought their hands up to answer. You’re actually quite surprised to see that no one was familiar with the song’s intro.

Renjun continues to play the song.

Then he begins to sing.

You remember when he had first told you about his time here at the retirement home and how he sang for the residents. You remember him completely dismissing the fact that he did sing for these people and after that, the subject wasn’t really brought up.

Now that you’re here and volunteering with him, you finally get a chance to hear him sing.

“Oceans apart… day after day… and I slowly go insane…”

What the fuck.

You almost say this out loud and through the mic in front of many many elderly people and you suddenly feel compelled to slap yourself.

Renjun’s voice was unexpected, but it was beautiful. You really didn’t have any idea of how his singing voice would sound but now that you’re hearing it, it perfectly matched his speaking voice. It was satin-like and captivating—a voice you could and you’d honestly like to listen to all day.

“How can we say forever?”

Your eyes drift to Renjun, who’s focused. His eyes are on the music sheets sitting in front of him. The expression on his face is calm and gentle, words of which could also describe his singing. You hope Renjun doesn’t notice that you’re looking at him, because if he did, it would be humiliating.

“Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you…”

Then your heart does this thing.

It was very similar to the little skip that it did earlier, but now, instead of falling back to the rhythm it usually followed, it only sped up in tempo.

What the fuck. You repeat to yourself. Your eyes widen before dropping to your feet in panic. Because it really shouldn’t be doing that. Not at this point in time.

“I raised my hand first!” One of the ladies knock you back into reality and you realize that a few people have had their hands raised. She was speaking to another woman sitting at the same table and you recognize them as the two women from earlier. You smile sheepishly, almost forgetting what your job is and opting to listen to Renjun and only Renjun for the rest of the game. You apologize, “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite notice. Can we play a small game of rock, paper, scissors to settle this fairly?”

They play the game as you make your way up to them. Once it was settled, you bring the mic up to the winner, the lady who claimed she raised her hand first. “What do you think the song title is?”

“Oh, I know what the song title is,” she chuckled, “Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx.”

“I love the confidence!” You say, laughing, “You are correct! One point for you, ma’am!” The woman cheered, ecstatic she got the point. Then, like before, you return to the front and you start at the beginning of the cycle for the next songs.

You try your best to keep yourself together, especially when the song’s difficulty requires Renjun to sing part of it. He had a voice to be proud of. You have no idea why he didn’t choose to brag about it. But maybe that’s just Renjun.

What’s ironic was the fact that Renjun was almost as charmed by you as you were with him. However, it wasn’t because of the way you sang, because if you were ever asked to sing, you’d warn them about temporarily losing the sense of hearing, but it was simply through the way you interacted with the residents. The best word Renjun could find to describe the way you spoke to them was genuine.

You genuinely seemed to enjoy speaking to them, making small talk throughout the game so that you kept them entertained. Renjun also concluded that you were actually a pretty witty person. Jokes and fitting comments were flying out of your mouth whenever you pleased, giving the residents a reason to laugh hearty laughs.

Though it really didn’t appear to be that big of a deal to anyone else, Renjun found it endearing. It was simply just a trait that he found worthy of adoring.

Renjun slumps behind the piano relieved that the instrument was helping him hide the smile that was uncontrollably growing upon his lips. And if you see him with that big, fat, doting smile, he wouldn’t know what to do.

At the end of the game and its conclusion, you actually find yourself feeling bummed that it was over. You stand at the side of the room, watching as the residents either take their leave or decide to stay in the lounge room a bit longer. You bow to the ones who cross your path, thanking them for being great participants.

“Will you be back next week?” a lady stops to talk to you, “You were refreshing to have. That young boy, Taeyong, follows the same script and it does get very tedious after a while.”

“I would love to, actually,” you say, frowning, “But I’m not sure if I will. Renjun invited me to join but I don’t know if this is just a one-time thing.”

“Oh, well,” she smiles sadly, “If you ever decide to return, you’re always welcome.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” you mirror her expression before she walks away.

In her place, another lady stops and reaches for your hand, “Thank you for a wonderful time!”

You shake your head, “It’s nothing, really. Renjun played a large part as well, I shouldn’t take all the credit.” Over her shoulder you see Renjun speaking to a few of the male residents.

“Oh! Speaking of that lovely boy, are you two together?” Her head tilts to the side in curiosity, “You two make quite a cute couple!”

Her comment makes you freeze in shock for a short moment. You and Renjun? A couple?

“Oh!” you shake your head, almost to the point where you could feel your head coming loose from the rest of your body, “We’re not dating! It’s nothing like that. It’s really the opposite! We only started being friends not too long ago!”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” she only picks up your last comment, “You ever go to connect a plug to a socket without looking?” You nod your head but she could tell that you’re confused. “You miss it a couple of times, making small adjustments so you can get that damn plug into the socket. Then, finally, right when you get it in, the electricity runs through it to serve its purpose.”

“I-I don’t understand what you’re saying, ma’am.”

“I’m saying that it doesn’t matter when you guys started ‘being friends,’” she laughs lightly, “If two pieces fit together, then that’s that. I know a match when I see one.”

And without another peep, the lady walks away, singing a tune under her breath.

NINE.

“Is this enough?” Renjun’s pouring paint into one of the paint trays at the bottom of the ladder.

You look down from the top of the ladder, “That looks like it, thank you.” You paint a few more strokes down before climbing back down to grab the newly filled tray. The goal for the day was to finish the second layer so that over the last few shifts, you and Renjun could focus on details and finishing touches. Judging by how much work was left, the two of you were probably going to end up working overtime. But none of you minded.

“You know, some of the residents were asking for you when I returned a few days ago?” Renjun watches as you pick up the tray. When your feet find their way onto the first step of the ladder, Renjun unconsciously steps forward to keep the ladder steady, “I think they really loved your company.” The corner of his mouth quirks upward at the recent memory of you and your interactions. Not one inch of his bone regretted inviting you.

“Really?” you light up, “I enjoyed their company, too.”

Renjun replies, “Yeah, really. I guess you made a really good impression on them.” Then Renjun makes a witty, lighthearted comment, “Unlike you did on me.”

You laugh and look down, “The feeling’s mutual.”

Out of interest, Renjun lets this burning question leave his lips, “Why did you hate me so much anyway?” Then he shakes his head, “I mean I understand why, but I wanna hear your side of the story.”

You take a seat on one of the middle stairs of the ladder and rest your head on your arm, “I guess… everytime we ran into each other, you weren’t exactly the nicest. I remember I apologized when I accidentally bumped into you that one morning before class and you made a comment about me not being able to afford your shirt or something even when I apologized.” “In fairness, it was before an eight AM and that shit was hot,” Renjun defends, “But you’re right. I could’ve handled it better.” He doesn’t even remember why he blew up that morning. But he does remember a feeling of remorse the moment he arrived in class and was able to reflect on what he just did.

“And that one time when I took Donghyucks’s drink,” you face palm because you don’t know how you even managed to do that, “You didn’t even say thank you when I gave you the drink when I could’ve taken it. Especially since it was you who had gone up to me.”

Renjun’s face heats up. He really was a whole douchebag to you. “I was in a hurry. But I could’ve handled that better, too.” Renjun pauses and drops his head to look at his feet, “I think my apologies are long overdue. But I really am sorry for both of those times. I don’t know… they were sorta both in the heat of the moment… but if I could go back, I’d treat you better. Maybe we could’ve gotten along faster.”

“You’re forgiven,” you reply seriously, swinging your legs, “Besides, it’s not like we haven’t made any progress.” You look up at the mural and remember how your relationship with Renjun had been when you both started it. It was almost the complete opposite. “I think I owe you an apology, too. It’s not like I’m completely innocent either.”

Renjun turns to go back to his spot, “You don’t even need to apologize. You were just treating me the way I was treating you.”

“Doesn’t make it okay,” you stand up and dip the paintbrush in paint.

“True, but still.” Renjun raises his head to look at you, “But I forgive you too. Even though I still don’t think you need to say sorry.”

You don’t say anything else. Instead, you playfully roll your eyes. Despite your reaction, you’re actually glad that you and Renjun were finally at that point where you could joke about about the past. Being able to openly share how you both felt, and just conversing about it proves that your relationship with him has shifted. It’s relieving.

“Hey Y/N?”

You look through the ladder and find Renjun staring up at you. His hair is falling back, fringe brushing past the corners of his eyes. He looks pretty. “Yeah?”

“It’s getting late,” he says, “Want to wrap up and get something to eat?”

You’re compelled to make a ‘like a date?’ comment, but you hold back. You and Renjun just made complete amends. You can’t be that bold just yet, “Sure. Where to?”

°•. ✿ .•°

A handful of bites and sips of pop later, you and Renjun are walking back from the closest fast-food restaurant from campus. The topic of conversation had been jumping from one to another, keeping the atmosphere comfortable and busy. Currently, it was about the pet peeves that came along with your roommates despite still loving them with all your heart.

“Sometimes,” Renjun sighs, “Donghyuck, he literally doesn’t wash the bottom of the cups cause he thinks that only water rinsing it is enough. He only scrubs the rim of the cup. Once, I was filling my cup with water and I see remnants of dried out coke floating from the bottom.”

You gasp and make a face, shaking your head, “That’s disgusting! Imagine if you didn’t see that. You’d just be ingesting dried coke.”

“He learned from that,” Renjun shrugs, “Cause even he experienced it. He always scrubs the bottom of the cups first now.”

“Good,” you retort, “Because I was going to tell you to remind me never to drink from a cup when I go over to your guys’ dorm.” Renjun laughs but he can’t help but interpret your comment in a way that could be considered overthinking. “For me, Yeji used to wash her clothes without putting them with like colours.”

“How is her wardrobe not fucked up?” Renjun sends you a look, “Especially her white clothing.”

You shrug, “Beats me. But that one time I caught her, I felt like her mom teaching her right from wrong. I have no idea how she’s never been told off in all her years of life.”

“I don’t know what’s worse, that, or Donghyuck’s old habit.” You shake your and head and look down. You wonder if Yeji had any pet peeves about you. What would they even be? You didn’t feel like you were doing anything pet-peeve-worthy. But then again, Yeji didn’t see anything wrong with mixing her clothing up.

When you see your dorm building growing in your field of vision, your eyes widen and you turn to Renjun, “We missed your building!” You stop in your tracks and try to do a one-eighty to go back to Renjun’s building. The two of you were so caught up in conversation that you missed it.

“No I did it on purpose,” Renjun shakes his head, “I wanted to walk you back.” A tickling sensation subtly appears and disappears in your stomach.

“You really didn’t have to!” you say shaking your hands as a way to deny his kind action, “The campus is safe anyways! I could have walked on my—”

“I know it is, but I wanted to,” he shrugs, “There’s a difference.” He’s right. There is a difference. Because it’s one thing to walk you home with some worry that you’d get into some form of accident, you know, to ensure your safety (which you understood as basic human decency), but it’s another to want to walk you home. Even with the knowledge that you’d be safe because there were other students probably walking the same way, he wanted to walk you home and it was probably because he wanted to spend more time with you.

You don’t know how to react to that implication.

He starts walking towards your building, hands stuffed into his sweater’s pockets. When he senses that you weren’t following, he turns back, “What are you doing?”

“Sorry,” you sigh, “I zoned out.”

You speed up to reach his side, trying to process whether or not you were overthinking or not. Before you know it, you’re at the doors of your building and you’re fishing your keys out of your pocket, “Thanks for walking me here, I guess.”

“You guess?” Renjun laughs softly.

“I mean like, it was unexp–”

“I’m joking,” Renjun rolls his eyes playfully, “I wanted to.” There it is again.

“Anyways, I’ll head in now,” you say, avoiding any awkward silences, “Goodnight.”

He grins, and you swear you see his eyes twinkle, “Goodnight.”

When you reach your dorms, Yeji’s standing at the entry way, arms crossed with a smirk, “I saw Mr. Renjun drop you off… care to explain?”

“What are you even doing staring out the window?” you glare at her and kick your shoes off. Walking past her, you tug your bag off your arm and plop it beside the couch, “And explain what? He just wanted to drop me off.”

“Key word is ‘wanted’,” Yeji walks up to you and digs her index finger into your shoulder, “I’m getting this psychic-netic sense that he’s starting to harbour feelings for you.” You want to laugh because Renjun? Feelings? For you? It’s laugh worthy. “No way. We just made up.”

“Yeah, but you both were all chill before today,” she rolls her eyes, “He’s probably starting to like you like you like him.”

“What are you even talking about?” You’re ready to escape this conversation. Mentally, you’re in a position that runners take when they’re about to begin a race, but in front of Yeji, you’re stiff as a rock, grounded and eyes wide as you react to what she just said. “Nothing,” she shrugs, “You didn’t deny it though.” Yeji cackles and makes her own great escape, sprinting into her room before shutting the door.

When Renjun finally gets home, he’s greeted with a bear hug from his own roommate.

“I thought you died or something!” Donghyuck yells, “Why are you home so late?”

“I had dinner with Y/N and walked her home?” Renjun’s confused. He leans forward and notices tears in Donghyuck’s eyes. He doesn’t know whether he should laugh or feel bad because he’s never seen his best friend in such a state, “Are you actually crying? Look I’m sorry, I actually forgot to update you.”

“Yes! I’m crying,” Donghyuck glares at Renjun, “It’s not like I splashed my face with water or anything.” Donghyuck wipes his ‘tears’ away and ‘sniffles’, “If I knew you had a date, I wouldn’t have sobbed my eyes out waiting for you to get home.”

“It wasn’t a date,” Renjun hurriedly denies, “It was just a friendly dinner.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Donghyuck waves off, “Friendly dinner my ass.”

“It was!” Renjun’s ready to jump Donghyuck, “We worked for a long time today and we also formally apologized to each other. It was fitting.”

“You know what?”

“No, I don’t know what.”

Donghuck clicks his tongue against his teeth, “You like her.”

“What even makes you say that?” There’s a bazillion things running through Renjun’s head, but none of those things were coming to a single conclusion that made sense with this conversation with Donghyuck.

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, “The past few days, when you walk through that door from the gig or just being with Y/N, you have this sickening—but cute?—I don’t know… love-struck? Charmed?—Whatever you’d call it—look on your face and it’s painfully obvious that you’re starting to have feelings for her.”

Renjun gulps. He’s at a loss of words only because he’s never heard or seen Hyuck say something so serious in his life, “You’re lying.”

“No. I’m not. I can’t believe you haven’t realized it yourself when you’re usually more emotionally intelligent than me.”

Stunned, Renjun thinks it through.

Sure the word ‘love-struck’ doesn’t really describe what he’s feeling for you, only because he knows it hasn’t gone that far. He thinks back to the day it suddenly rained, when you both watched The Pursuit of Happyness and he let himself be vulnerable in front of you. Then to the day at the retirement home and seeing your interactions with the older adults. Those few times you were too immersed in painting to comprehend what was happening around you… Hell, he even thinks back to the time you had gotten him that damn Starbucks drink despite how horrible he treated you that day.

What did all these days have in common? Sure, all these days involved you and him, and progression in the relationship between the two of you. But the thing that persisted was how his chest warmed up in a way that was almost entirely unfamiliar to him. Shit, it has happened so many times that it has become familiar.

Renjun sighs and he looks at Donghyuck with a defeated look, “I think you’re right.”

“About?”

Renjun gets deja vu. He remembers the conversation he had long ago with Donghyuck about his attitude towards you. Never would he have thought that it would get this far.

“My feelings for Y/N.”

TEN.

It was the final stretch. The mural needed no more than final details and cleaning up before it was finished. And after this, you and Renjun would be finished the project.

You’re excited to see the mural in all its glory—no unfinished patches and pending layers. You can already taste the satisfaction, especially because both you and Renjun had worked your asses off finishing it.

But there was an elephant in the room.

It wasn’t a massive elephant, but it was there, sitting right in between you and Renjun and you didn’t know how to address it without him misinterpreting everything.

The elephant: What would become of the two of you after all of this has ended?

You look over at him with that lingering thought.

It was rather baffling because your relationship with him appeared to be nothing more than two co-workers—maybe a little bit more than that. No. That’s wrong. You guys were friends—at least that’s what you considered him. You could easily tell he considers you one of his, too, but you weren’t sure that you were at that point where you would speak to each other after all this is over.

You’d hate to see your relationship with him falter after everything.

You’re hoping Renjun’s feeling the same way, simply because he hasn’t said anything all shift. Just a mere ‘hi’ was all that slipped out his mouth towards you, and a soft ‘thank you’ when Joy had come out to congratulate you both for almost completing the project. Otherwise, he hasn’t done more than breathe and paint.

“You’re quiet,” you say playfully. You’re not sure if you were overstepping boundaries but you wouldn’t have said anything if you weren’t comfortable with Renjun.

The noise in Renjun’s head nearly blocks your voice out completely, but you’re lucky to have caught his attention. “Hm?”

You finish the details of your current part of the painting and move onto the next. It was one step closer to Renjun, “I said you’re quiet. Is something up?” It’s a good sign that Renjun wasn’t shooting any sort of remark your way, but you can tell he’s avoiding eye contact. You haven’t seen Renjun so out of it.

“No,” he replies, “No, I… I’m just thinking.” It was Renjun’s turn to finish an area. He takes a hesitant step closer to you to complete the details of a new area.

Dot. Dot. You use black paint to add details to a bear’s face. Its eyes. It looks a lot better than it did just moments ago. “Can I ask what about?”

Renjun pauses and thinks about his answer. You. He’s thinking about you. But he’s not sure if it would be odd for him to be honest and up-front. Renjun’s adding details to a toy car. Dot. Line. Dot. Dot. “Things. I’ll tell you when I get it sorted out.”

“You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to,” you say. You move on to a toy train. Line. Dot. Two lines. Although you’re still truthful about what you just said, you’re still curious about what Renjun was thinking about. Things was such a broad term. It could be about anything—dogs, the colour periwinkle, even his best friend Donghyuck. But you guess you’ll let him marinate those thoughts.

“I want to tell you,” he says gently, “They’re just all jumbled and shit.” The best way to describe his thoughts was like a box filled with stray wires. All of them have been thrown in carelessly and now they’re knotted into one messy ball. He can’t even follow one wire if he tried.

Now you want it out of him ASAP because what the hell is going on in his head that’s causing him to act like this that would be making him want to tell you? Dogs? Periwinkle? Donghyuck? Although you’re panicking on the inside, you remain calm and give a hum in response. You’ll just have to wait until he’s ready.

Time flies and the shift is finished, leaving just a smidge of work left needing to be done for the final shift. Even with the mural not complete, it was already at the point where it did look finished. But with the sun setting, you’re not able to catch a good look at the work with its deserved lighting.

“I’ll walk you home,” Renjun says from behind you. You’re surprised he even offers to do so, especially since he seemed to be preoccupied with his thoughts. Despite this, you don’t refuse because you’re not sure if this would be the last time Renjun would be walking you home. Besides, you want to spend as much time as you can with him.

“How are those thoughts in your head?” you question. You both are halfway to your dorm and Renjun’s been mute the entire way. This was your way of pushing some sort of statement out of him because you’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious.

Renjun huffs and hums to indicate that he’s thinking of a response, “Do you ever think a certain way about something but… I don’t know, you have some sort of conflict with yourself about those same thoughts and feelings?”

You pause and think about what Renjun’s trying to get at, but he’s being unclear, “In what context?”

Renjun turns to look at you, “It’s hard to put it into words but it’s like… new thoughts you feel like shouldn’t even be there but are there. It’s not like they’re forbidden or bad, but it’s just weird.” He sees your building growing close.

“Hmm…” A part of you knows exactly what he’s talking about, “I get what you mean.”

“How would you handle them?”

“I think that those feelings wouldn’t be there in the first place if you weren’t actually feeling them… or considering them at least.” If you could laugh out loud right now, you would. But you weren’t really risking looking like a maniac in front of Renjun. Your response to Renjun was something you’ve been telling yourself ever since Yeji had you questioning your own feelings for your friend a few nights ago. You only came to actually accept them now.

“But I don’t think you should overthink whatever’s going on up there,” you bring a finger up to his temple and tap it gently, “Chances are that it isn’t as big of a problem as you think.” Then you laugh, “You know, this is one of the things that gave me a bad impression of you at first. You think too much.” Renjun playfully rolls his eyes in response.

You walk ahead of Renjun to open the door. You don’t notice that he’s looking at you with brighter eyes because you’re right. Renjun let pessimism win and its got his mind preoccupied with what can’t happen when there was still chances of you reciprocating his feelings (or at least, what he believed were feelings).

“Wait,” Renjun stops you at the door. He’s standing at the bottom of the steps with you at the top and he realizes now that there’s no turning back from what he’s about to do, “I have my thoughts sorted out now.”

“Okay…” You let the door go and turn to him expectantly, “I’m listening.”

Renjun swallows the saliva in his mouth and he feels his heart pick up in pace. Yeah… here goes nothing. “You know when I first met you, I really didn’t think for a second that I would even like you as a friend. Almost everything between the two of us clashed, but now looking back at it all, we were being stupid and childish.

“That one day when you bought me a drink during our shift… I think that’s when I knew that there was a chance for us to not hate each other. I know it’s a small gesture, but it was the fact you did something nice despite the fact we weren’t getting along. It was sort of a wake up call for me.

“Then everything since then and up ‘til now… the conversations we’ve had, the walks back to the dorms, the visit at the retirement home… I feel like my feelings did a whole one-eighty.”

Renjun takes a step up towards you and exhales a quiet breath, “I…I think I like you. A lot.” He doesn’t know where to look. “And it angers me thinking about how the mural is going to be finished because then I won’t have an excuse to see you anymore.” His head drops for a quick second before he tries to gather his last few drops of confidence before finally looking up at you, waiting for a response of your own.

You’re taken aback by Renjun’s confession, simply because you genuinely didn’t see it coming. It’s hard for you to create the perfect sequence of words to say to him. Your mouth hangs open and all you can say is, “Renjun…”

Renjun’s heart drops immediately with the implication that whatever you’re going to say is bad and he stumbles backwards, almost falling back from the stair he was standing on. “I’ll… see you next shift.” And at that Renjun’s walking away.

°•. ✿ .•°

You’re sitting across the street from the daycare, staring at the almost-finished mural. You’re waiting for Renjun to come and judging by the time on your phone’s screen, he’s twelve minutes late, which was funny because he never was late. Not even once.

You can see Joy sitting at her desk through the window while there are kids running around in the play area behind her. You wonder if she’s wondering where the two of you are. It’s the last shift of this gig and you guys are late. Shouldn’t you both be early to get it over with?

Huffing you decide to make your way in. It wouldn’t hurt to get the supplies ready without Renjun. That way, when he arrives, you both can start.

“Afternoon, Y/N,” Joy looks up and around her computer screen, “Last shift!”

“I know!” you say excitedly, “I can’t believe it. Sorry for being a bit late.”

She shakes her head, “It’s no problem at all. You guys are almost finished, anyways.”

The door behind you squeaks open and you turn to find Renjun slipping through the doorway. His face shows no expression when he makes eye contact with you, but greeting Joy, he offers a small smile. They have a quick exchange, similar to what you just had with her, before you both are sent to grab the supplies.

It felt negatively nostalgic, the way he was avoiding eye contact with you as you bring everything out. It was awfully similar to when you both still didn’t get along and you didn’t like it.

You peek at him through the corner of your eye, heart skipping a beat. You can tell he’s forcing himself to focus on the task at hand. He’s leaning in extra close to the wall, shoulder blade turned towards you in hopes to not to feel tempted to talk to you.

But it was odd. Only because he’s grown so used to your conversations.

The silence goes on for a while (it was just eighteen minutes, but it felt much longer), and everytime you think Renjun’s finally going to say something, he doesn’t. There’s some kind of heavy atmosphere engulfing the both of you and you could feel yourself practically suffocating because of it.

You decide to take matters into your own hands. Besides, you were the reason why he wasn’t talking in the first place. You were the reason why there’s this sort of tension between the two of you. “You know you left before I could even give you a proper response.”

Renjun’s breathing hitches at the sound of your voice, his movements halting simultaneously. “Judging by how you first answered, I didn’t think there was anything to hear.” He keeps doing whatever he was doing, but in his peripheral vision, he can see you turn to look at him. “I listened to you,” you say, “So now it’s only fair you listen to me.”

Renjun hesitates for a moment, but he slowly drops his hand before turning to look at you.

“That night, I was going to say that I felt the same about you,” you say nervously. You’re straight to the point, only because you knew Renjun deserved to hear what you knew he wanted to hear three nights ago. “I just… couldn’t find the words to tell you that. Cause hearing me say that, it’s actually lame as hell compared to your confession.”

Your heart decides to use the inside of your chest as a drum and next thing you know you’re facing the wall. You try to busy yourself by finishing the last part of the mural’s details. Your cheeks heat up and you continue tentatively, “I can’t even exactly remember when my feelings for you started to become more than friendly-type feelings? I don’t even know if that makes sense… I just… started to notice that I couldn’t even handle these weird tickling feelings in my chest when I’m around you and I could not, for the life of me, stop them, but it’s not like I wanted to. Fuck, this is embarrassing.”

You’re starting to ramble. Cute, Renjun thinks, holding back a smile.

Putting the paintbrush down, he swiftly places himself next to you. As distracted as you were with your long, long train of thought, you don’t notice him standing next to you.

“But I remember, at the retirement home… one of the old ladies put the idea of you and me being a couple in my head and I didn’t hate the idea of it… I think that’s when I actually realized that I liked–” You muster up enough courage to look at Renjun and you’re met with him looking down at you with adoration—the same ones the night that he confessed, “—you.”

There’s an entire marching band of butterflies in your chest and you’re sure as hell that Renjun can hear them with how close he was. The look in his eyes makes you want to melt into a puddle right in front of him, but you’ve embarrassed yourself enough.

“You have some paint on your face,” he says softly. You gasp and foolishly try to spot the smudge of paint on yourself.

If only you knew that Renjun was shamelessly lying.

Without another word, Renjun reaches for your face, lifting it up with the inner edge of his thumb. Then he whispers, “I-I’ll get it for you. If that’s okay?”

You’re too stunned to even say anything. All you’re able to do is nod.

Renjun brings his lips down to yours and as if your heart conducted the band of butterflies in your body, they halt for a beat and a half before taking over once again. His lips press against yours softly at first, and once Renjun recognizes that everything happening within this very moment was perfect, he allows himself to fall into the kiss, bringing you two closer.

The paintbrush in your hand falls to the ground and your hands instinctively find their way up to Renjun’s shoulders, using them to pull you up closer to him, deepening the kiss.

It truly was perfect—if you ignored the fact that the two of you were probably being watched by anyone and everyone in the daycare—but the moment felt perfect.

When you both finally pull away, Renjun’s eyes scan your face before he breaks out into a smile, bringing you to mirror it. “Did you get it?”

He nods. “Yeah… I did.”

BONUS SCENE!

When Renjun asked you to come back to volunteer for another Throwback Thursday, you were no fool to refuse. You’ve actually been waiting for him to ask you to join him again right after the first one ended—Renjun was just a few weeks late.

“That concludes this week’s Throwback Thursday!” You say, looking over at the residents, “I really want to thank you all for participating and I hope you all enjoyed it.” You can see the residents smiling, clapping their hands.

As the residents start to file out of the room, you turn the mic off, and you spin around to look at Renjun who’s seated behind the piano, “You almost made me cry.” Even after hearing his voice for the first time, you’re still taken aback by how captivating Renjun’s singing was. You don’t think you’ll ever get tired of it.

Renjun’s brows furrow, “What do you mean I almost made you cry!?” He stands up and approaches you in subtle panic, “Did I hurt you in some way or form or–“

“Jun,” you laugh, “Your singing almost made me cry.”

Renjun pauses and steps back, “Oh… then I guess that’s a good thing?” You nod and bring a finger up to poke his cheek which was pulled into a semi-pout. Seeing your finger from a mile away, he attempts to bite it gently but quickly retracts.

“Y/N! Sweetie!” You’re attention is pulled from Renjun to the same lady as last time. The one who made the ‘couple’ comment. She’s gotten a hair cut since you last visited, so you almost don’t recognize her, but she has the same smile. She’s waving for you to come to her and you do without hesitation.

“You don’t know how happy we all were when Renjun said you were coming in today!” She exclaims, “That’s why there were more people that came in today because they heard good stuff from last time.”

“Do you think I lived up to those ‘good things’,” you question, “I would have done better if I knew people had expectations.”

She nods. “I believe you did. Everyone had fun today.”

“Well, that’s good to hear then.”

You watch as her eyes flicker between you and Renjun, who was gathering the papers from the piano, “I’m sensing something’s going on between you two.” A smirk appears on her still-youthful face and you suddenly feel your cheeks heat up.

“You were right about last time, “ you say shyly, “We’re dating now.”

She lets out a sound of delight, hands coming together to make one loud clap sound. “Oh I told you so, sweetheart! This is what I love to see! Does this mean you’ll be coming more often?”

Renjun joins you two quietly and you nod, “I sure hope so.”

‣ an: hey you! you there who finished my fic! I love you sosososososo much for taking your time to actually read this entire thing (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ) <— [that’s me ugly crying] but I really do hope you enjoyed it,, maybe let me know what your fav part was? If you didn’t enjoy it (even a lil smidge) I’m sorry about that (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ) I’ll do better next time I swear (despite that though, I’m still thankful you read it <3)

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caffeinewitchcraft · 2 years

Text

Be kind to your writing.

I’ve been posting stories on this site since 2016. It’s a little amazing to me to look back at the first story I ever posted (a somewhat controversial fic fill of God trying to set Lucifer up with a guy) and the latest (an anti-hero superhero story).

Being kind to my writing is the only way I can continue as a writer. Every mistake I’ve made - grammatical and otherwise - is entombed on this blog. There are stories that didn’t accomplish what I meant them to do, stories that were meant to grow into series and didn’t, and stories that haunt me to this day because I never figured out the right voice for them.

I have hundreds of messages from people who don’t like my writing or my beliefs (notably one anon who told me to stop writing about gay things and tenaciously begged me to stop for like three months lmaooo).

But

I have thousands of messages from people who love what I post. I still get overwhelmed thinking about some of those messages. They paralyze me with how wildly grateful I am that I, of all people, could share something that resonates. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fully describe the joy that this journey has given me. This blog has given me a platform for the types of stories that I want to write and a community of readers and writers who have relentlessly cheered me and others on.

When I first started on this blog, I was ghostwriting far below market rate. I’d just quit driving an ambulance. I was in a very bad spot mentally and I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I’d been told that writing would never be enough, but it was all I wanted to do.

Creating this blog was a radical act of self-love. And it fucking worked.

Now? I self-published a book in 2017 and Im doing it again this year. Over 200 people support me on Patron and, with their help, I have the ability to write every day. I’m so ridiculously happy that I get to write and know that there are people out there excited to read what I’ve made.

I have pride in how far I’ve come. I look back at these old stories and I make an effort to be kind. The person I was - the writer I was - was learning. I still am learning. I enjoy reading my old writing. It’s entertaining! Sure there are bits that I don’t like, but it’s worth it to read old stories for the bits that I do.

After six years on this blog (september is my anniversary month!) this is my biggest takeaway.

Don’t be embarrassed by old writing. Be proud that you learned and grew from it. Celebrate where you’ve been and how far you’ve come. Treat your older stories as if the past you was reading them beside you. What did you need to hear then? Criticism and ridicule? Or encouragement?

Drink water.

#im supposed to be doing finishing touches on an anthology in review #and here I am being sappy on the internet #long post #caffeine chatter

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vole-mon-amour · 5 months

Text

Weren't they affected before? It was already so damn ugly and scary.

Larian are wild & I love them for that.

LET'S FUCKING GO. Gosh, hopefully I can continue with my Durge, that black screen was fucking wild.

I've never encountered Ascended Raphael, but this sound scary.

No idea what's going on here, but how dare you.

First they buffed Cazador, now it's Raphael's turn.

LET'S FUCKING GOOO.

Oh wow. Ngl, I needed this.

It didn't even cross my mind to TRY that, omg. My pacifist run is literally don't attack people.

Needed this one, too. I sometimes forget what I disarmed or/and get confused.

Again, didn't even know that was a possibility? It's either kill her or let her go?

How do you DIP weapons in ouddles? I'm confused.

THANK YOU. Damn, I thought that was just my game.

Hey, Larian, how about an owlbear bug where he talks to Oliver and I'm forced to watch from the inside him and his feathers? No?

THANK YOU. OMG, fucking FINALLY. ;_; It was such a fucking struggle.

Rude.

I'm not sure if I can keep Lae'zel for that long, but I'd try just for that. Hehe.

JUSTICE.

I am SO helping him this time around, especially as Astarion.

Hmmm. I think this shows just how much and how many players see Halsin as boring or/and that he exists. :/ They really need to fix that. I gotta write some feedback.

Lmaooo. Larian, I do love you.

This happened on my first run and yep! This is useful.

I'm stopping at PERFORMANCE AND OPTIMISATION. That was quite a read.

patch notes

#astarion #halsin #bg3 #raphael #gale #shadowheart #lae'zel #natisplaying

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icanseethefuture333 · 6 months

Note

Hi Desi ! Can i ask you who is stray kids would date a woc of different ethnicities ? Thank you :)

Oop! 😳 Time to spill some more tea then 🤭

MTL to date a WOC outside of Korea in Stray Kids:

(According to my pendulum, based off of their current energy / preferences)

Felix

I.N

Bang Chan

Changbin

Seungmin

Han

Hyunjin

Lee Know

Top row:

Left is Bang Chan, center is I.N, and right is Felix

Bang chan's reasoning for being third most likely is because he's very sexually enticed by woc outside of his race. They peak his interest and finds them attractive. I am pretty sure he's been with them before. Some of you guys might not want to hear this but it's giving he wants to soar his oats with just about anybody 🫣. I'm not really getting any romantic feelings, so he seems non committal or he would date a foreigner, but would really have to think about if he'd marry one. He's not really mature yet long term for a cross cultural or interracial relationship. Bang Chan is still ignorant in some areas of other cultures (he just wants to fuck 🥱). It's just giving like he is aware of other people's culture and then when dating someone who's not from the same culture, it's like he think would make a better partner than someone hasn't before. A know it all who doesn't really know it all ifykwim. When its like he can't hold any of his relationships down, he constantly searches for new beginnings or the next thing sexually (for any Bang Chan fans ready to fight don't be arguing with me on anon in my inbox!!! This is his energy for now, he's in his fuckboy era, do not put the blame on me for this! Sometimes we won't always hear the most pure or positive messages about our faves and that is okay)

Ngl I.N surprised me 😳 even though I did channeled before that his future spouse was someone that had dual citizenships (Korean and British). I was pleased to hear what his response was on dating a woc outside of his country or race. I.N's view on dating a woc that isn't Korean is quite positive. He shows admiration for them and has more pure intentions than I would say in comparison to Bang Chan (💀 I mean no shade??? but eh, I said what I said). I.N would be very supportive and willing to learn about his partner's culture or traditions. He honestly wouldn't care as long as they have similar family structures. I.N is rebellious by nature, so he just cares about his happiness and the happiness of his loved ones.

Felix's reasoning for being most likely to date a woc is given the fact he feels like he is an outsider in his own country and culture as well. He is Korean, but doesn't feel Korean enough? Felix resonates more with how he grew up in Australia and misses that lifestyle. There is water here and what seems like a beach. Felix could outpour a lot of love towards people that are different from him now and doesn't judge based off of racial stereotypes. Being able to travel overseas and meet new people has allowed him to open his mind and broaden his horizons. It's almost as if he was limiting himself in some areas (caring too much about labels, what's Korean, what's not Korean, what makes him Australian or what doesn't make him Australian). Controversial maybe??? Felix could feel more loved and respected by woc outside of Korea (I laughed I'm sorry 💀). There is a cultural difference so maybe they are more expressive with their love language where as in Korea they show it differently (I.E: a foreign woc might be affectionate and show physical touch, where a Korean woman would exchange gifts). Felix's view on dating woc could be more so a romantic fantasy or he likes the relationships he's seen in movies, television, or music videos. I channeled this before in a reading for him but I always think of Harry Styles and his Grammy's performance for "As It Was" to be his ideal romance. (Felix fr just as delulu as the rest of us LMAOOO 🤧)

Middle row:

Left is Changbin, center is Seungmin, and right is Han

Changbin is down for whatever honestly 💀. He's not the type to search for love but more so takes action only if he wants to experience it. He's romantic in general so if anyone could handle him and his quirks, then he's happy. Changbin would be very charming. I feel like he just needs the opportunity to meet a woc? I don't think he's ever dated a woc outside of Korea fr. "I had the plan, I just needed the platform" type of energy 🤣

Seungmin would be a hot mess I'm sorry 💀 I'm not even gonna sugarcoat it. It's like he wants to but he's not doing it based off of realistic decisions. It's more so he has an idea of what it's like to date a woc outside of Korea, but he's not focusing on the sentimental value of what it means to be in a relationship. Seungmin is very picky in general and makes romantic decisions based off of his illusions (another delulu??? Free the Virgos please). So because of his high expectations he would not be able to form long lasting connections. Also woc could be turned off by his behavior as well, they would most likely call him out or reject him because he's not mature enough. They won't tolerate it. Seungmin would just get his feelings hurt but it would be his own fault for being so damn sassy all the time 😂. He is stubborn though, so he would keep trying until he learns his lesson and also he finds the right person who can match his energy. The person he dates would require a looooot of patience because he is not easy to deal with. Very chaotic energy, but funny!

The reason Han is one of the members who is least likely is because he is more shy and introverted. So going up to a person and asking them out in general is not his thing. If Han were to date a woc that wasn't Korean, he'd have to be most likely friends first. "I have anxiety bruh." (💀). He'd want to take his time and get to know the person regardless of what their race is. I don't think he has much of a preference, it's just about who he's attracted to within that time. Han would be protective of his partner though and would express his love through gifts, money, etc.

Bottom row:

Left is Hyunjin & right is Lee Know

Hyunjin for being one of the members who is least likely to date a non-Korean woc is because he is very traditional. Whenever I do readings regarding his love life he always makes this very clear. He finds some woc (yes I said some because it's not a large number of woc he likes💀) beautiful, but it's not something he wants to go through all the trouble for. Too tedious for his liking. Hyunjin's fanbase is mostly in Korea as well so he could focus more on that because that is the attention he is used to getting from, so he cares more about catering to his fans, his family's expectations, as well as his own personal preferences. It's like he's not closed off to the idea, but Hyunjin doesn't like change. He prefers to stick to what he knows and situations that are predictable. To try being in a cross cultural or interracial relationship, it would make Hyunjin really anxious, nervous, and uncomfortable, because it is a type of environment he is not used to. I can say for sure say he's only ever dated a woman who was Korean or of Asian descent. Hyunjin would have to work on his confidence and care more about his own thoughts than other people's thoughts in order to be with a woc that wasn't Korean.

Lee Know is somewhat similar to Hyunjin's response, with a nicer approach. In his opinion, he feels like it requires courage to be in a relationship with a woc outside of Korea. He believes people who date someone that isn't the same race as them go through a lot of hardship. Channeled message: "I think if I was a father and my child looked like me, or looked like me a little less because they had features like their mama, whether their skin was maybe darker or their hair was a different texture. People would be very cruel and it would make me very upset as a dad. It's not a easy route to take. Maybe in the future when I am more brave I will think about it, as for now I am okay with being a coward!" (PLS 💀)

I hope you guys enjoyed this reading! I will be forming my own harem with these 4, take care besties 💋

#stray kids #stray kids tarot #kpop reading #kpop readings #celebrity readings #ask

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risingscorchingsuns · 1 month

Text

Holy fucking god alive I thought I’d never finish this 😭😭😭 i am so so tired lmaooo

enjoy your kyokaru everyone it’s feeding time 🫶🫶 eat up babes!!

———————————————————————

Don’t Let Go

It’s been a long few weeks. Hikaru has been training himself to exhaustion, and he’s not quite sure why. All he knows is he has to keep going. But there’s an ache in his chest that just won’t go away, and he’s not quite sure what to do with it.

Content: angst, fluff, comfort, hikaru needs a hug, please give this man a hug, sfw

———————————————————————

Morning is rising over the Demon Slayer Corps HQ. A frigid winter chill bites through the air, permeating it and seeping deep into the frozen ground. Pale pink wisps of sunrise streak across an icy morning sky.

A resounding crack sounds through the morning air- the sound of wood hitting wood, of a training sword striking a wooden dummy. It may be early, but the Corps never sleeps.

The Corps never sleeps, and these days, neither does Hikaru. Up at dawn, asleep past midnight, it seems all the young man does lately is train. When he’s not on missions, Hikaru is almost always on the training field, relentlessly drilling himself until his limbs no longer respond to his brain’s orders. He’s been burning the candle at both ends, nearly every day without fail, for weeks now.

And yet, he can’t seem to figure out why.

Hikaru grunts as he brings his wooden sword down on the training dummy again. Every strike, every blow, every well-aimed slash and jab is accompanied by a strange pang in his chest. It’s a feeling he’s become intimately familiar with over the years- he doesn’t have a name for it, but it’s nestled within his ribcage like a great ancient beast settling into hibernation. Every time wood connects with wood, the blow ripples through Hikaru’s body, and the beast in his chest roars. It claws at his insides at every moment, and Hikaru can’t figure out why.

But the beast never sleeps, so neither does Hikaru. Again and again, he keeps moving, keeps training. He’s not sure what will happen if he stops.

He’s not sure he wants to find out.

Crack! Hikaru brings down the training sword with such force that he snaps the blade on the dummy’s wooden shoulder. He growls with frustration, tossing the splintered pieces to the ground.

“That was quite the strike!”

Hikaru jumps, whirling around to face the source of the voice. When he recognizes it, he lets out a relieved breath.

“Lord Rengoku. You startled me,” Hikaru says evenly, though his posture is still tense. “What brings you out this early?”

“I could ask you the same!” The Flame Hashira, Kyojuro Rengoku, chuckles, stepping forward onto the training field. His shoes crunch softly on the frozen dirt as he makes his way over to the lower-ranked Slayer. “Getting in some extra training?” he asks, leaning to Hikaru’s side to peer down at the splintered remains of the wooden sword. He looks from it to Hikaru, raising one forked eyebrow.

“Yes,” Hikaru replies tersely, though he can feel his cheeks heating up. I can’t believe a Hashira saw me break my sword, he scolds himself inwardly. I need to do better. Frustrated, he gathers the broken sword and discards it, collecting a replacement from a nearby barrel. He readies himself to strike again, eyes narrowed and focused in front of him. Definitely not thinking about the watchful golden eyes of the Hashira standing behind him. Just the sword. The sword, the training, the feeling of the wood in his hands, the endless pressure to improve-

“Your form is slightly off,” Kyojuro suggests suddenly, snapping Hikaru out of his thoughts and causing him to jump slightly. “That’s why your training sword broke.” Kyojuro steps forward, drawing his own sword to demonstrate. “Plant your feet like this,” he instructs, shifting his weight. “Keep about seventy percent of your weight on your back foot, and thirty on your front.” He straightens, pressing the flat side of his blade to the side of Hikaru’s knee to straighten it. “Your feet are too far apart- your center of balance was off, and your follow-through was too strong. That’s why the sword broke.” He sheathes his sword and steps back, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he gives Hikaru a stern look. “But we both know you should know that by your rank, Eritora. You’re a Tsuchinoto. Sword stances is Mizunoto stuff.”

Hikaru growls under his breath. Of course he knows that. It was a stupid mistake, a rookie mistake, and they both knew that he knew better. The Flame Hashira had been giving him extra training lately, helping him develop his Beetle Breathing- he knew better than anyone that Hikaru knew better. It was an embarrassing mistake.

There’s that pang in his chest again. Hikaru grits his teeth, scowling at the sword in his hands. He opens his mouth to say something, say anything, just try to save face, but he can’t think of anything. He huffs, and swings his sword again. The blow is hasty and unrefined, and the wooden blade glances off the dummy.

“Sloppy,” Kyojuro says, his eyes narrowing a bit as he observes. He peers at Hikaru for a moment, cocking his head slightly. He glances over the other man, taking in his slightly disheveled appearance. The other man has deep circles beneath his normally-bright violet eyes, and his body language gives off a kind of weariness that Kyojuro recognizes- burnout. His stern instructor’s face immediately softens into a more concerned look, and he takes a tentative step towards Hikaru.

“Eritora, are you… okay? These mistakes, they aren’t like you,” Kyojuro says, his brow furrowing with concern. “You look… tired.”

“I’m fine,” Hikaru says quickly, forcing down the fresh wave of dull pain in his chest that sparks from the way Kyojuro is looking at him. “I’m just a bit out of it today.” He lowers the wooden sword again, readjusting his stance. He readies himself to swing again, but Kyojuro catches his forearm midway, firmly stopping him in place.

For a moment, all Hikaru can think about is how warm Rengoku’s hand is. How strong his arms are. The feel of his calloused fingers against his skin.

The ache in his chest comes back with a vengeance, so strong that Hikaru blanks for a moment. He staggers, relaxing his arms and meeting Kyojuro’s gaze. It’s warm, and kind, and creased with concern. It is not helping the furious beast clawing at Hikaru’s ribcage.

“Hikaru,” he says firmly, and Hikaru startles slightly at the use of his first name. Kyojuro drops his arm, and for a moment it just hangs there, unsure, before dropping back to Hikaru’s side.

“You need to rest,” Kyojuro continues steadily, his tone gentle. “You look like you’re about to collapse.”

“No,” Hikaru insists, giving his instructor a steely look. “I said I’m fine. I want to keep training.”

Kyojuro sighs, resting his hands on his hips as he takes a step back. He hasn’t been training Hikaru for long, but he knows the other man well enough to know that he has a stubborn streak something fierce, especially when it comes to knowing when to quit. Honestly, it reminds Kyojuro a lot of himself.

Now that he’s seeing it from another perspective, maybe that’s something he should work on.

“Fine,” Kyojuro relents, knowing that there’s nothing he can do to stop Hikaru, short of knocking the man out himself. “If you insist on training, at least let me instruct you. If I don’t, you’re going to hurt yourself.” Folding his arms, he fixes Hikaru with the same steely, stubborn gaze, making it clear that there is no chance for argument or protest.

Hikaru huffs irritably. He wants the Flame Hashira to stop nagging him, to just let him get back to it already. But he isn’t too stubborn to deny direct orders from a Hashira- Rengoku may be his friend as well as his instructor, but even Hikaru knows better than to argue with authority.

Besides, of all the Hashira, he’s quietly glad it’s Rengoku. He feels strange around him… a confused sort of strange, one Hikaru isn’t familiar with. The beast in his chest gets louder and more insistent whenever the golden-haired Slayer is nearby, and Hikaru isn’t quite sure what to do with that.

But quietly, he doesn’t really mind it, as long as it’s Rengoku. But he’d never say it out loud.

“Very well, Lord Rengoku,” Hikaru says, stepping back from the training dummy. He sheathes the wooden sword, and bows to Kyojuro, his eyes low. “I’ll continue under your instruction.”

Kyojuro nods and clears his throat, suddenly feeling very warm despite the biting winter air as Hikaru states his title. “Good,” he says quickly, shaking himself. “Now stand up, young Eritora. Don’t expect me to go easy on you just because you’re tired. You asked for this. If you want to tap out, you’re going to have to say it.”

Hikaru nods, his tired eyes fierce. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

The two men continue training, with Kyojuro keeping a close, critical eye on Hikaru’s form, swiftly correcting any mistakes. The Flame Hashira may be a deeply compassionate man with a soft spot for Hikaru, but he remains a warrior at heart, and a notoriously demanding instructor. But despite his many corrections, Hikaru continues to falter, recalcitrantly refusing to step down despite his own mind beginning to fray at the edges.

Kyojuro sighs at the obstinate swordsman, bringing the flat edge of his blade to smack against Hikaru’s thigh to correct his stance once again.

“Stance, Eritora!” he commands, darting forward. He sweeps the blunt side of his blade into Hikaru’s ankles, and the other man reacts too late, stumbling to the ground. “Dead again!” Kyojuro announces with a sharp tap to Hikaru’s neck. He regards Hikaru sternly, standing over him. “That’s the third time you’d be dead if this were a real fight. Hikaru, I know you’re determined, but you’re being reckless. A strong swordsman knows to take care of his body as well as his blade. Anything less is just foolish, not to mention irresponsible.”

Hikaru bristles, opening his mouth to argue. But he catches Kyojuro’s gaze, and the pang in his chest goes off again. He sighs, resting his thumb and forefinger on the bridge of his nose.

“I know,” he admits reluctantly, casting his narrowed eyes to the frozen dirt somewhere to the left of Kyojuro’s feet. “I know I’d be dead if this were real. And I know I should be resting, that there’s no point working this hard if I’m not getting anywhere. But if I rest…” Hikaru exhales, closing his eyes and hanging his head. “If I rest, my head gets loud. My thoughts get messy. I… I don’t know what to do other than train. I have to keep moving.” His face quickly creases into a scowl, and he looks down at his hands. “I… don’t know what else to do.”

Kyojuro’s gaze softens as he looks down at the indigo-haired man on the ground beneath him. He understands the feeling, as it’s one he’s intimately acquainted with. He knows the feeling of working yourself to the bone because you’re afraid of the reality that comes with stopping- the all-encompassing solitude, and the restless thoughts and doubts that accompany it.

It’s an intensely lonely feeling, and his heart aches at the idea of Hikaru experiencing the same thing.

“I understand,” he says gently, laying a comforting hand on Hikaru’s shoulder as he crouches down in front of him. As his hand makes contact with Hikaru’s shoulder, Hikaru almost flinches, leaning into the touch for just a moment as the ache seeps through him once more. Hikaru jolts, quickly composing himself and raising his head to meet Kyojuro’s eyes.

“You do?” he asks meekly, peering up at his instructor. Kyojuro nods, his blazing eyes softened with sympathy.

“I do,” he replies. “I know the feeling quite well.” He gives Hikaru’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze before withdrawing his hand, and Hikaru feels a faint twinge of longing at the loss of his touch. “But I also know that, unfortunately, burning yourself out all the time isn’t sustainable. You can repeat this cycle forever, but you won’t heal your mind until you properly rest your body. I’ve been a swordsman long enough to know that.”

Hikaru scowls at the ground again, feeling tears of frustration building in his throat. “But I don’t want to stop. I can still move my body. I don’t understand why I have to stop when I can still move. If I can still move, I can still work.”

“Just because you can physically move doesn’t mean you’re in any shape to push yourself,” Kyojuro replies steadily. Seeing Hikaru’s growing discontentment, he softens. “I know it’s difficult to stop, Eritora, but you need to take care of yourself. Not just for your own sake, but for your fellow Slayers as well. You’re of no use to anyone if you’re so worn out you can’t even hold a central stance.”

Hikaru’s scowl deepens, if only to hide the tears of frustration rapidly pooling in his eyes. He doesn’t respond, only turns his head to hide his face from the other Slayer. Kyojuro sighs again, gazing sympathetically at his friend.

“I’ll tell you what,” he suggests, the playful spark returning to his eyes as he leans in towards Hikaru. “We’ll meet in the middle. We’ll run through your melee takedowns one more time, and then you,” he points one finger at Hikaru’s chest, “are going to have a nice, hearty meal, and then take a nap.” The Flame Hashira cocks his head at Hikaru, an encouraging half-smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Deal?” He spreads his hand out in front of Hikaru, offering it to him.

Hikaru sniffles, scrubbing at his eyes with the sleeve of his haori. He raises his head, meeting Kyojuro’s eyes with a quiet determination. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he knows Kyojuro is right. And he appreciates the Flame Pillar’s efforts to meet him halfway.

Besides, a hearty meal does sound pretty good right about now.

“Deal,” Hikaru says quietly. He takes Kyojuro’s outstretched hand, (ignoring the sparks it ignites in his chest,) and allows himself to be pulled to his feet.

“Excellent!” Kyojuro laughs, giving Hikaru an encouraging clap on the shoulder. “Let’s get started. I hear the canteen has rabbit stew for lunch today.”

With that, the two of them get started. Placing their swords aside, Kyojuro stands face-to-face with Hikaru, dropping into a ready stance.

“Arm bar takedown,” he instructs. “Go!” In a flash of movement, Kyojuro darts forward, seizing Hikaru’s left wrist with his right hand and attempting to tug him in for a punch. Instincts kick in, and Hikaru flips his arm over in one swift motion. Grasping his inner wrist, Hikaru straightens out Kyojuro’s arm, pulling him forward, and firmly plants his forearm against the pressure point below Kyojuro’s elbow. He presses down sharply, and Kyojuro buckles to his knees. Hikaru finishes with a soft chop to the neck, and a triumphant shout.

“Good!” Kyojuro exclaims proudly, twisting around to grin at his student. Their eyes meet, and Hikaru suddenly finds himself acutely aware that he has Kyojuro bent over on the ground with his arms pinned behind his back. Flushing, he drops the Hashira’s wrist and jumps back, forcing his hands back to his sides. Caught off guard by the sudden drop, Kyojuro hits the ground with a soft “oof” sound.

“There’s that fire I know you have!” Kyojuro praises, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he stands back up. He dusts himself off, and rushes forward again. “Again!”

The two men drill each other for some time, until the early winter sun has risen a significant amount, causing the sparkling frost on the ground to melt as the morning thaws the world. Hikaru starts off strong, his passion renewed beneath Kyojuro’s instruction, but the young man quickly finds himself distracted once again. Kyojuro’s teaching style is… well, it’s very up close and personal, and whatever has been going on with Hikaru lately, being this close to the Flame Hashira is making it worse. Every time Kyojuro grabs him, pulls him in, even brushes his skin against Hikaru’s, the ache in Hikaru’s chest goes nuts. The beast tugs at its chains, throwing itself against Hikaru’s ribcage and filling him with an insatiable, painful want. He wants, wants something so bad that his heart feels constricted, but he has no idea what it is. All the while, his form is getting sloppier, and his mind is getting hazier.

What is going on with him?

Hikaru is snapped out of his reverie by Kyojuro grabbing his forearm, expertly incapacitating him and pressing him into the cold earth.

“Dead!” he exclaims, tapping the side of his palm against Hikaru’s neck. “Come on, Eritora, just one more takedown! I know you’ve got it in you.” Kyojuro helps Hikaru back up to his feet, brushing his palms against the smaller man’s chest to dust him off. Hikaru’s breath hitches in his throat. He can’t deal with this. He just can’t. His chest hurts so bad he can hardly breathe, and his thoughts are so clouded with a never-ending mantra of want-ache-want-ache-want that he can’t even start to think about forms anymore. He staggers on his feet for a moment before catching himself. Just one more, he thinks. One more drill, and then I can go do something else, to get my mind off of whatever the hell is wrong with my brain.

Hikaru takes a deep, grounding breath as Kyojuro surges in again. Bad idea. As Kyojuro grabs his shoulder to throw him down, Hikaru gets a deep lungful of the Flame Hashira’s scent. He smells so… comforting. Warm, safe, and kind of spicy, like ginger and peaches and sandalwood, it completely and instantly overwhelms Hikaru’s senses. The ache in Hikaru’s chest blazes like kerosene being poured on a fire, and he has to clamp his teeth together to keep from whimpering. Dull, throbbing pain shoots through his entire torso, spreading from his heart all the way to his fingertips as he tries to execute the counter-takedown, but his sluggish limbs don’t respond. He’s vaguely aware of his body falling, but he can’t fight it anymore. He doesn’t even have the strength for the defensive falling technique. He closes his eyes and winces, bracing himself for impact.

“Whoa! Hey, Hikaru, snap out of it!”

Hikaru opens his eyes, surprised at the lack of impact as his body hits the ground. He looks up blearily, and his brain snaps back into focus. Kyojuro had caught him- crouching on the training field, the Flame Pillar was cradling Hikaru’s body against his chest, a mildly alarmed look in his golden eyes.

“That’s it, we’re done,” he tells Hikaru, his tone gentle but extremely firm. “You’re not training any more until you get some rest. In fact, I’m taking you back to my personal quarters to ensure that you are taking care of yourself.”

Hikaru opens his mouth to protest, to tell Kyojuro that he was fine, but his body isn’t currently taking requests from his brain. He can barely think, much less move. He’s in Kyojuro’s arms. Kyojuro is holding him. He can hear the Flame Hashira’s heartbeat, the only sound he can pick out amidst the ringing in his ears. His mind is somehow both completely blank and full to exploding. He barely has any grasp on where he is at all, but all he knows is that he’s in the arms of Kyojuro Rengoku.

And it feels. so. good. The beast within Hikaru roars so loud he feels like his chest will surely collapse. He’s sure this is it, he’s about to die. He can’t draw breath, can’t form words, all he can think about is the warmth of the Flame Hashira.

And then, just as soon the ache flares through Hikaru’s entire being, it’s gone, and for the first time in weeks, the beast is quiet. Hikaru is lost, he’s drowning in Kyojuro’s scent, his arms, his everything. Nothing has ever hurt quite so badly and felt so damn good at the same time.

“Easy now,” Kyojuro says gently, and starts to ease Hikaru onto the ground. Panic sparks in Hikaru’s eyes, and he scrambles for words, gestures, ANYTHING. He barely knows where he is, what he’s doing, even his own name, he just knows that no matter what, he can’t lose this feeling yet. He can’t let go yet. Just a few seconds more. Anything. He’ll do anything.

“Wait,” Hikaru chokes out, frantic tears forming in the corners of his violet eyes. He summons everything he has, trying to grab onto Kyojuro, but all he can do is raise one arm. He weakly seizes Kyojuro’s haori, desperately trying to hold onto something, anything. Kyojuro startles at Hikaru’s sudden alarm, and lifts him close again, eyes wide.

“What? What’s wrong?” Kyojuro asks, his voice laced with concern. “Are you hurt?”

“Don’t… don’t let go,” Hikaru croaks. “Please.” He draws in a ragged breath, and realizes he’s trembling. He screws his eyes shut into an expression of agony, leaning against Kyojuro’s chest. “Just… just a few seconds more.”

Kyojuro freezes, the wheels in his brain turning rapidly as he tries to make sense of his friend’s reaction. Things are rapidly falling into place, and they’re making Kyojuro’s heart break for the dark-haired man in his arms.

“Hikaru,” he says gently, his voice barely above the softest whisper. “It’s okay.” He wraps his arms more firmly around the other man, and settles down onto his knees. Pulling Hikaru into his lap, Kyojuro cradles him into his chest, curling his own body protectively around him. Resting his chin on top of Hikaru’s wild indigo hair, Kyojuro closes his eyes. “I’ve got you.”

The dam breaks. The beast snaps its chain, roaring with agony as it surges forward against Hikaru’s ribcage. Hikaru grabs onto Kyojuro like it’s the only thing tethering him to this plane of reality, and lets go. A low, desperate cry of agony escapes his chest, deep from the depths of the beast within it. The wail lasts until Hikaru’s voice breaks, and then dissolves into heart-wrenching sobs. He can’t hold it back anymore. Gripping onto Kyojuro’s haori with everything he has, Hikaru cries and cries, unable to do anything to resist the force of his torrential emotions.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Kyojuro whispers, hugging Hikaru fiercely as his body shakes with sobs. “I’ve got you. I won’t let go.” He rocks back and forth gently, giving his friend the space he needs to simply feel.

Only when the sobs fade to sniffles, and the sniffles fade to the occasional hiccup or residual shuddering breath, does Kyojuro relax his hold on Hikaru. Threading his fingers through Hikaru’s indigo hair, Kyojuro strokes his head soothingly, trying to ground him. He doesn’t say anything, waiting for Hikaru to speak first, when he’s ready.

Hikaru sniffles. “I’m sorry, Rengoku,” he rasps, his voice hoarse from crying. “I don’t know what came over m-”

“None of that,” Kyojuro interrupts gently, readjusting Hikaru so he can meet his eyes while still supporting his body. His face is firm, quiet, and sympathetic, and beneath his gold-and-crimson irises is a layer of understanding. “I won’t sit by and let my dear friend beat himself up for simply needing a hug.” He allows Hikaru to gently disentangle himself from the embrace, though Kyojuro keeps one comforting hand on Hikaru’s forearm. “We’ve all been there, Hikaru,” he murmurs quietly, his face serious. “I promise you. It’s okay.”

Hikaru opens his mouth, struggles for words, and closes it again. He sniffles, nodding.

“Thank you,” he says quietly. “I… I don’t know what to say. I’ve just been… so tired…” Hikaru cuts himself off as a residual shudder courses through him, and he takes a few deep breaths before meeting Kyojuro’s eyes again.

“I know what it’s like to feel like it’s all on you, Hikaru,” Kyojuro murmurs. “I know it’s hard. But you don’t have to do it alone, okay? We’re the Demon Slayer Corps, not the Demon Slayer Just Hikaru.” Hikaru chuckles despite his tears, and Kyojuro smiles softly. “We’re all here for each other, my friend. We have to have each other’s backs.”

Hikaru nods, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. But there’s still a dull pain behind his violet eyes, and Kyojuro gives his forearm a gentle squeeze. He knows it’s going to take time, that whatever is going on with his friend, it’s more than just being a little worn out. But something in him reaches deeper, compels him to get a little closer than he normally would.

“Do you want another hug?” Kyojuro asks gently. Hikaru thinks for a moment before looking back up, meeting Kyojuro’s gaze shyly. He nods, just a little bit.

“Yes, please,” he whispers.

Kyojuro opens his arms again, and Hikaru sinks into them, wrapping his own around the Flame Pillar’s waist. Kyojuro wraps his arms around Hikaru’s body, pulling the smaller man’s chest flush with his and squeezing tightly. It’s a wordless, quiet embrace, but no words are needed to convey its meaning. Hikaru buries his face in Kyojuro’s neck and inhales deeply, allowing himself to be enveloped by the warmth of his scent.

The two men stay wrapped in each other for some time, kneeling on the half-frozen training field until their legs have gone numb. Finally, Hikaru pulls away from Kyojuro, their hands brushing together as if hesitant to let go.

“Thank you,” he rasps quietly.

Kyojuro nods, placing his hand on Hikaru’s thigh. “Any time. Really.”

Hikaru shakes himself, as if brushing away cobwebs in his brain. He feels drained and exhausted, but also deeply relieved. The physical and emotional toll of his breakdown is catching up to him, and he’s starting to have a hard time staying upright.

Kyojuro chuckles softly. “You need rest,” he reminds Hikaru, his voice gentle. “I’ll escort you back to the Butterfly Mansion, if you’d like.”

Hikaru looks up at Kyojuro. If he was his normal self, he would probably overthink this, but in the current moment, he’s so tired that all he can think about is crawling into the nearest futon and hibernating like a bear in winter. He nods gratefully.

“If that’s really okay with you, I think that sounds wonderful,” he murmurs tiredly, his eyelids drooping.

Kyojuro nods briskly, an affectionate smile on his face. “Of course,” he says, getting to his feet. He offers his hand to Hikaru, who gratefully accepts it. Wrapping an arm around his waist to support him, Kyojuro helps Hikaru to his feet. Together, the two men make their way back to the Butterfly Mansion, with a new sense of closeness, a newfound connection that wasn’t there before.

#hikaru eritora #leon writes #kyokaru #demon slayer #demon slayer oc #kny #kny oc #kimetsu no yaiba #oc x canon #rengoku x oc #oc fanfiction #kyojuro x oc #kny fanfic #fanfic #rengoku kyojuro #demon slayer fanfic

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amarias-yandere-blog · 2 years

Note

Can i get yandere inazuma character of your choice if that okay? Anyway they confessed and unfortunately s/o is already dating the traveler. Like, HELL no ain't no way they can win. This mf beat ei herself and they think they HAVE a CHANCE?! HELL no!!! Hahahah i love to see their reaction lmaooo

And I oop~ This is quite the interesting request. I'll be doing: Heizou and Ei Enjoy~

Warning: Yandere themes, gaslighting/Manipulation, other uncomfortable themes

Note: Aether and Lumine are not explicitly mentioned. This is very spur of the moment, has not been read over, and will not be edited after posting.

Shikanoin Heizou:

"Y/n... I have feelings for you." The confession from the detective was shocking and flattering, but extremely offensive.

He knew that you were in a relationship! He knew that you were not interested in him in the least.

And yet he had said this to you. Despite the genuine way he had said it, how he'd been careful to make sure you felt safe; you didn't trust him. You were shaking with anger, but also something deeper.

"Y/n? Is everything alright?" Heizou clearly noticed this. Nothing went past him, especially when it came to body langauge, tone of voice, and more. He was a trained detective, and a brilliant one.

But despite that, he could not compare to your sweet Traveler. You took a deep breath, giving a soft smile.

"Heizou, I'm honored, really. But I'm afraid that I don't feel the same way that you do about me." You paused to gather your thoughts, noting how his eyes narrowed at the response. You could not keep the hints of abhorrence from your voice as you continued. "You very well know that I am already in a relationship with the traveler. I'm sorry, but unfortunately, I don't love you as I love them."

Heizou smiled sweetly. He understood, of course. Who wouldn't understand? Well, you had assumed he understood. "Y/n, dearest, do you really think that they love you?" Heizou's question was purely innocent.

"What?" you could not keep the bite out of your voice as you glared at him.

"Come on, Y/n, any caring S/O would ensure that they knew where you were before letting you meet a friend- especially one who is a potential threat to them- before letting you leave. But the Traveler didn't, right?" Heizou asked the question as though he was explaining how to count to a two-year-old. As though you were stupid.

"No... they just trust me to take care of myself! Besides, they know you! You wouldn't hurt me, or anyone for that matter!" You found yourself spewing out the words before you could stop yourself. "You're the greatest detective Inazuma has seen!"

"...And yet you don't acknowledge me as such." Heizou sighed, rolling his shoulders. They cracked loudly. "You don't think of me as a threat, and that... was a mistake." Raiden Ei

You shuffled, looking at the woman uncomfortably. "I... I'm honored, Raiden, truly, but..." Before you could finish, the archon cuts you off.

"Ei, please."

"Huh?"

"My name. It is Ei." She explains swiftly. "Please call me Ei." The woman has a wide smile gracing her lips, turning the room a bit more light-hearted. You nod, trying to keep your gulp of nervousness from being too obvious. "Are you thirsty, Y/n?"

"No... I'm fine." You answer.

"Then please, give your answer. I am aware that you have budding relations with the Traveler, but surely...?" Her question is left open-ended.

"Ei..." You take a deep breath to settle your nerves. She hums, eyes closed, as though enjoying the way you said her name. "I am truly honored that you feel that way for me, but I'm afraid that I don't feel the same. I really do love the traveler, and they love me back." You pause, noticing her hand twitch. "We have plans to travel this world together, and eventually other worlds with their sibling. Surely you can understand?"

"..." Ei sighs, shaking her head. "I see." She sits back on her throne, looking colder than ever. "It seems that you have been manipulated into believing that this traveler loves you. I will have to fix that. I am sorry that I had not realized sooner, Little Light." The woman's purple eyes fix back on you, who shrinks back in fear.

"It is fortutous that the Traveler is not with you. If I were to face them in a fight again, I would surely lose, and Inazuma would suffer for it. But if they believed that you chose me willingly, then they will move on to Sumeru, not looking back." She waves her hand gracefully, standing up after. "This, too, is a form of eternity."

____________________

Hey everyone! Sorry for dipping for so long. I can't guarantee that I'm back, though, because unfortunately for a lot of Mobile Players, we're slowly being choked out of room for Genshin updates, and this problem (as well as my own burn out) had caused me to be unable to play for quite a while.

I even missed the opportunity to pull for Cyno because of this. But I am saving up for Kusinali, because archons are amazing, and also she's absolutely adorable. I also got a C1 Albedo! (I only pulled on his banner once, and he came home that ten pull) No Nilou, though, because her kit is very special and I don't have any built dendro characters. (RIP Collei)

Who're you saving/pulling for this next update? Are you planning on building any characters, or saving most of your materials for future characters?

Thanks for all of the follows, everyone! And thank you especially for the ask, @harukisakisblog!

The reason why I did two charas is because I've recently been building and playing Heizou's event (He is illegally fun wtf) and Ei has had my heart ever since I first learned her backstory.

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turtledotjpeg · 1 year

Text

(chapter 400 spoilers)

i have been fed and i must make stupid internet doodles about it

my wife is so successful and popular (said with distress) and she is doing her best and she just wanted to do healing and said 'noooo' to murders and she cried about kacho and hates being called old and kurapika is the only one she can rely on and i'm gonna cry

more thoughts (not interesting) under the cut because this is an art blog but I am compelled to yell into the void about this chapter

man I was ready to be happy just to see Melody for one panel, but there was So Much in this chapter 🥺 feels like we're getting to see some new facets of her personality (see: Old Maid Melody lmaoo) and it's so fun

it was nice to see her and Kacho getting to interact a bit more openly - for some reason I was expecting nen-Kacho to be more of a separate entity, rather than the "brought back to life" kind of deal where she basically feels and acts like she's the same person? I like it though, I want to see her messing with Melody some more lol

I was wondering if Kurapika's goal might come up re: the fourth prince's invitation, but it seems like the immediate concern with Fugetsu takes priority, which makes sense Zhang Lei also wanting a private audience is interesting, I wonder if that could give her and Kurapika an opportunity to meet up and plan things out before she visits terrorsandwich? Before all that, though, they'd have to deal with Benjamin (assuming it's a first-rank-first-served kind of deal), no idea how that's gonna work out unless they actually pull off the Just Murder Everyone plan

also lmaooo the love confession 😂 one the one hand I feel like all her initial suspicion and mistrust towards glasses guy has to be a setup for him to actually be more honest than she expects, but I still can't help being a bit skeptical of him... both because there has to be something going on with the heartbeat thing, right?

and also, even if it is probably what's most practical for the situation, I'm not toootally sure if I love this "stop being sad and go use your powers to help us do murders" thing lol (granted kacho was very on board with both of those, too, but. idk man, maybe at least try to comfort her a little or something? xD)

that said, he is kind of risking his neck to help them, and i Am extremely in favor of anyone and everyone being in love with melody, so i appreciate him for that haha

okay, totally baseless "theory" #1: he's melody's dead sonata friend possessing the body (& therefore lying about the not believing in ghosts thing) - probably unlikely given Fugetsu is also said to be "possessed" and that looks very different, plus it sounds like that's something Melody should be able to notice? but it'd give him a genuine motive to help her out while lying through his teeth about all the details

or totally baseless theory #2: he's literally just a normal guy with a medical condition

melody: but I just don't get it, HOW can your heartbeat be so calm and steady all the time?!? kaiser: oh, cause of the pacemaker you mean? melody:

(**based on about 2 minutes of research I don't think that's quite how pacemakers work, but it's hxh universe, there could be Something)

(on an unrelated note, I also really liked Tyson in this chapter…sounds like she was basically pressured into a death battle she assumes she won't win, but she's still just out here baking birthday cakes and trying to have a good time :( rootin for her)

...and finally can I just say, even if there was a good reason for it, I think it's hilarious that Melody's reaction to someone liking her is just "hmm... 🤔 kinda sus" alternative responses to "i love you": "with a heart rhythm as precise as an atomic clock?! yeah right!"

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh chapter 400 #hxh chapter 400 spoilers #hxh spoilers #melody hxh #senritsu #rereading this and oh god i'm an embarrassing human being lmao #but it's been long enough that there's no point editing the wall of text to try and hide my shame #“i am cringe but i am free” or something #(that's a lie i am cringe and i am constantly judging myself through the eyes of imaginary people who think i'm just the worst)#(but that's a Me Problem™ dw about it lol)

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fluffy-ami · 10 months

Text

“The best gifts of life” (Jing Yuan & Reader)

A/N: LMAOOO pls I'm so sorry again, this is so self-indulgent I'm crying, bear with me don't look at me and don't read this, I am having my rare lee moment before I either stop posting stuff for another year or finally get to work-

“J-Jing Yuan, I'm dyihihing!”

“Sure you are, my friend~”

You were alone in the garden with the general, your high-pitched giggles filling the air around the two of you, as you tried to escape his playful grasp. His free hand was softly squeezing your right hip and side, his wiggling fingers occasionally teasing your bottom ribs while he wrapped his other arm around your waist, holding you in place with ease.

“I'm sohohorry for tickling y-you! It wohon't happen again!~”

But you both knew it definitely would happen again.

“I bet you'd try again if I let you go,” the general chuckled. “You can't help yourself when it comes to making me laugh, can you?~”

His fingers danced all over the side of your ribcage, getting dangerously close to your underarm...

“Nohohot there!~” you squealed, immediately pressing your elbow to your side, trying to hide your ticklish spots from him. Jing Yuan laughed softly, a playful gleam in his eyes.

“Not the ribs, not the belly, not the armpits. What's next? Are we gonna have to check every inch of your body just to see where else you are ticklish? Maybe you'll like some other spots more~”

You could only giggle and squeak in response, wiggling around in his hold as his fingers brushed over the sides of your tummy.

“P-plehehease!~”

“Your weak spot really is everywhere, isn't it?” he teased. “Nowhere is safe!”

A few more giggles escaped you, making Jing Yuan smile, before he decided to let you go.

“Alright, alright. Sorry, I got a little carried away, my friend. Are you feeling okay?” the white haired man asked, a hint of apology and care in his gaze.

“H-huh?.. Oh,” you immediately stopped giggling as soon as Jing Yuan let you go. Well, that was a little bit... disappointing? “Y-yeah, I'm good. Don't worry about it.”

“...Do you not want to get up?” the general asked, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head to the side out of concern. He was surprised to see you in such a still position, wondering about the sudden silence. “Is something the matter?”

“Oh, no, Jing, please don't worry! I just...” you blushed slightly, looking away, your voice quiet as you mumbled, “...I didn't want- I-I mean-! I mean you didn't have to stop...”

“I didn't have to stop?” Jing Yuan repeated your words in a soft and quiet voice, staring at your back for a few more moments. Ooooh...

“You enjoyed it,” he said with a grin, “You enjoyed being tickled, did you?”

“H-hey now, I didn't say that!” your cheeks became even more red in a second, and you frowned at the general in embarrassment.

“Oh? But do you deny it?~” Jing Yuan chuckled at your quick response. “Okay, so you didn't enjoy being tickled, then?” he teased. The white haired man looked right at you, an endearing smile on his face as he waited for an honest answer.

“Y-you're so meannn...” you practically whined, this time not daring to turn around to look at him, your face felt like it was on fire.

“That's not quite of an answer,” the general teased, amused. “Is that a 'yes' or a 'no', my friend?”

“...That's just not fair.”

“Is it really that embarrassing to say that you like the tickles?” he grinned as you kept trying to dodge his questions, “How about I make you a deal? If you admit to liking being tickled, I promise to do it often”.

You could've sworn that Jing Yuan had a hard time holding back his amused laughter when he saw how quickly you turned around to look at him, your eyes wide and face flushed. You stared at each other silently for a few seconds.

“Sooo..?” the general smiled, raising his eyebrows expectantly and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“...I... don't mind it, I guess,” you huffed, looking away.

Another short pause.

“I had fun too, my friend,” the white haired man confessed to you in a gentle voice, letting you know there was no need to be embarrassed, “I enjoyed playing with you like that”.

“Stoooop, you're not m-making all of this easier-”

“And I'm glad to hear that you ‘don't mind’ it, because that means I can do this!~” the general suddenly made a move towards you, wrapping his strong arms around you with a playful grin and tackling you to the grass, as his wiggling fingers found your ribs again, making you burst out into another giggle fit.

As the saying went, the best gifts of life were the little things...

A/N: bro I would let him tease me until I fricking scream and sob and lying on the floor and I would still thank him ...wait nononono listen, listen- nononono listen, listen-

#honkai star rail #tickle drabble #tickling #my stuff #lee!reader #ler!jing yuan #jing yuan #reader insert #BRO HAS NO SHAME AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE #naaah that's definitely a lee mood bruuuuh-#somebody just bake me into a damn pie already #AND LET HIM EAT IT 🫵🏻#i'm so gay for everyone in this game bruh #i'm so cringe today 😭#DELETE LATER

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reitheist · 1 month

Text

bucchigiri ep 10 thoughts:

shindo is doing the absolute most 💀 chill out sweetie we all know you're evil

matakara seeeeeems back to normal but he's def not. zabu is gonna catch on I think

so is ichiya taking over matakara like a full possession thing or is it a 'warped' version of matakara

more catboy storytime let's goooooo

ok since reading that one utena greek choir post about these segments I've been trying to look harder into them. basically, the customer is arajin and jasmine is matakara. arajin is figuring out he wants matakara in his life, but matakara is already too far gone off the deep end of despair and inferiority to care (ie. 'seeing other customers') also might have something to do with ichiya 'shopping around' bodies to fight senya with, witch matakara or shindo being the customer?

ahh it's still matakara he's just very emotionally fucked up i see

oh shit is marito finally gonna have something to do again?

the monster thing is backkk

my prediction is matakara is going to beat kenichiro maybe?

ichiya's smile is pretty and so evil I'd let him possess me in a heartbeat

mint chocolate chip ftw

holy shit the fight animation here is so good

arajin DO SOMETHING

the lighting in this scene is very pretty. the colors in this show are always top notch

aww marito cares in his strange way

zabu is a good friend to matakara, but matakara is letting his fear get in the way and being an asshole as a result. direct parallel to arajin and matakara's friendship fallout.

komao standing up for zabu hell yeah

does this school have any staff? besides the cat teacher, I mean

matakara's eyes are so empty it makes me sad

LMAOOO he couldn't even keep ara in class

i think this is supposed to be a little intentional character moment for arajin here. at the beginning, he wanted to have an average highschool life and rejected being absorbed into the delinquent social hierarchy for as long as he could. now, he's running from normal school responsibilities and intentionally embroiling himself in a conflict for matakara's sake

so is it mandatory that the merging mark thing has to be near/on the ass or

as sad as I am for matakara I am very excited for him fighting merged with ichiya

senya fights with punches, ichiya fights with kicks

matakara, mahoro is not gonna be on your side much longer if you keep kicking the shit out of her brother (how is mahoro going to play in the finale I wonder? if she isn't completely sidelined, that is)

senya FINALLY shows up and we don't even get to know what he's gonna say until next week ughhhh

pretty good episode, but not quite as tight as the last two felt imo. feels like this was mostly setup for our final two episodes. I expect matakara is going to face kenichiro next episode and win. senya is gonna explain the whole deal with ichiya to ara next time, as implied by him appearing at the end. (though im not sure I have a clue where he's been all this time? just hiding?) I think it'd be a good beat for senya's story to resonate with ara and lead to him resolving to help (ie. fight) matakara

edit: just saw the after credits hmmm. they're def gonna play up ken's emotional duty to protect matakara next episode as they facedown. maybe ken is going to bring up matakara's brother? interesting.

#bucchigiri?!#bucchigiri predictions #bucchigiri lb #thoughts

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bi-bats · 8 days

Note

timkon exes to lovers? 👀👀

(also, hi!!! how’s it going?)

Hello!!!!! Yes I am SO stoked about that one honestly because I have literally like. 17k words of it or something cause it's one of my older fics! Here's a snippet:

“Hey,” Kon said, and the room was too heavy, too thick for him to be sarcastic the way Tim knew he wanted to be. “Hey.” It was barely a whisper out of Tim’s throat, and for a moment he wanted to lean forward and wrap his arms around Kon. Then he remembered to be angry. It had been so long since he’d been in his room that he barely remembered how he’d left it, but he knew somewhere in his head that it shouldn’t have been so clean. Everything was tidy except for his bed, which wasn’t made, and that wasn’t quite right. He knew he’d made it before leaving, the last time. He wanted to smell his sheets to be certain, but he was pretty sure Kon had slept in his bed. No, Tim. Bad Tim. Creepy Tim. There was an easier way to find out, anyways. “Did you sleep in my bed?” he asked, and he hadn’t quite remembered to leak the anger into his voice. It came out soft, too soft, the way being around Kon always made him. Kon’s face flushed, but he didn’t drop his gaze. “Didn’t seem like you were going to be using it,” he mumbled, shrugging, and that was the spark Tim needed to remember he was mad. “Well, I wasn’t, to be honest.” His voice finally found that icy tone he knew Kon would recognize, saw the moment his posture stiffened as he recognized exactly which Tim he was talking to. “I was just planning on stopping in here to breathe for a moment, because that party is starting to get a little too drunk for my liking, so imagine my surprise when-” “Why didn’t you leave?” Kon interrupted him, his gaze burning into him.

jadkjfak I LOVE that fic so much 💚 would love to finish it one day lmaooo

send me an ask about one of my WIPs!

I'm going to answer how I am under a read more because that is sort of a complicated answer, and I'll be talking about health stuff so consider that my health CW/TW for it

Hi!!! Thanks for asking!! I have been wanting to give a little update on how I'm doing because the answer is... not great, honestly.

I got put on medical leave for two months and got diagnosed with degenerative disc disease in my spine (which is something that doctors keep telling me I'm very young to have), and I'm doing 6 weeks of physical therapy for that. Honestly, I've had chronic back pain for 8 years, and I really haven't had time to process that information with all the rest of the stuff I have going on. I'm waiting for an MRI to see what's causing the degeneration.

I've also been having heart palpitations and lightheadedness and chest pain that were mostly addressed when we figured out that I have anemia (not the traditional kind, though, and it seems to be being caused by something else). That said, I wore a heart monitor for a week before addressing the anemia, and the results on that were very reassuring, so my heart looks okay. I've still been having some symptoms, but much less.

However, I've also been having really horrible GI issues that I'm waiting for a bunch of tests to see if I need any procedures or surgeries done to fix, or if it's a problem that can be solved more easily. I have severe nausea, acid reflux, problems actually digesting food, and I've lost like... 12-13 pounds in the last month I think? I get hungry and then I eat and then food makes me feel awful, but if I don't eat, I also feel awful. My body is flat out refusing to digest certain foods and I do not know why. There are other symptoms that I just don't want to share. It's been really frustrating. I feel horrible all the time. I wasn't staying at home for almost a month because I just didn't feel safe staying by myself. I actually answered some of these asks tonight while sitting on the bathroom floor because I wasn't sure that I wasn't going to throw up (I didn't though! yay!).

But basically, just about all of my energy is going into figuring out what's wrong with me right now. And when it isn't going into that, it's going into spending time with my friends and loved ones in an attempt to get through some of the pain/stress.

So yeah, things are rough. It's why I haven't been super active on here or ao3 this year. I am having a really difficult time focusing on writing, and that sucks, because I love writing. It's my #1 outlet and like. I fully can't focus on it.

Anyways. I don't really know where to end this, but that's what's going on with me. I might post a little update later on next week if I get any answers. I have a CT scan and an upper gi scan next week to see if they can see anything wrong just from that, and then more tests after that too.

Thanks for asking, though! I appreciate everyone's asks, this was a fun little distraction from all the stuff I just talked about💖

Also want to add for anyone reading this: I have many doctors trying to figure this out right now and they are running every test we can all think of. Please, please do not tell me what thing you think may be causing this in a reply or a tag, because it'll send me down a medical anxiety rabbit hole and then all I'll be doing for the rest of the night is panicking. I know the goal of any kind of comment like that would not be to make me panic, but that is what it would result in. So please, anyone can feel free to reply, but please don't reply with any sort of diagnosis or suggestion of what you think the problem might be. Thank you for understanding 💚

#☁️ eidoloony #batsasks #bibatrambles

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ashes-writing · 1 year

Text

outer banks ● one girl two guys pt 2 ● j.maybank + t. thornton

warnings

angst, jealousy and tension, reader has a not so good home life -drunk / childish parent and an absent father/no clue who her real one is-, Kiara Carrera and you/yn do not get along well at all and the reason why is revealed here, writer attempting something she’s never actually attempted before ( complicated relationships, fml ) swearing, mentions of 🍃and alcohol, probably a lot of fighting / confrontations because JJ is a Pogue and Topper is a Kook and yn/you/reader will be irrevocably caught in the middle of the bullshit.. oh and most likely, a little bit of the filth at some point in the future.

<- female reader, vague physical description that may become less vague if/when I do more with this.

word count

4783 exactly. Welcome to part 2, ig?

( i know where this is going now. there will be more parts. you're all going to be quite sick of my bullshit by the end of this probably, lmaooo.)

summary

continued from ( here ) One girl. Two guys. One a Pogue, one a Kook. Who will win your heart? My summaries are shiiit omfg.

taglist

the doc is ( here ) and presently, there's nobody, not a soul on it for outer banks. if you want to be tagged to my outer banks content, add your name.

@tbmunson bestie i love youuu and this chapter would not have come out without our talk. seriously, babes, I owe you my fucking life for this.