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nefastum · 2 years

Note

Hello there! Just coming by to drop off an HC or two as a fellow GriffGutsCa shipper... Sorry in advance for the gushing.

I've always been of the mind that Guts is like. A unexpectedly passionate lover? And super tender or sensual about it? And know when I say unexpected, I mean for Casca especially, (who didnt expect him to be very tender in the manga i would say) but Griffith too. It's easy to look at that monster of a man with how rough and uncouth he is and think he'd be a beast (and he certainly can be *wink 😉) in bed, but I like to think hes a mix of animal and sensual. Like he cares a lot about bringing his partners pleasure, and making sure they feel good.

On a related note, because I've seen it depicted badly before and kinda want your opinion: I could see him growing into a kind of sadism if either partner was into pain (bets on Griffith there it seems) especially since he is a bit sadistic in the manga (albeit in a non sexual way, mostly) though i think that, done right, it would take some getting used to for him, with plenty of reassurance that yes, they did actually enjoy the pain. I mean, he freaked out when he hurt Casca, I cant realistically see him being cool with especially hurting Griffith (another man) like that without copious aftercare (or during-care lol) and reassurances.

Also can I say how much I love that Griffith actually bottoms in some of your art? Personally, that boy is a switch at heart. It annoys me to no end that 90% of fics especially have him as a Dom, which has never made sense to me??? Because of all the people in the Band Guts is the person he is Least dominant with? He never tried to intimidate him once, not to mention he asks Guts to do things he isn't sure he'll be alright with (assassination) rather than just asserting it as an order. And he invites Guts into his personal space as well, or at least his body language does. Not screaming Dom to me. Is he possessive? Oh hell yes. But Dominant? Only when he needs/wants to be. 😊

Sorry again but I just want your thoughts. This fandom is so small and this ship is even smaller lol.

Hello there, love ♡

Don't apologize, I am grateful to receive so much tasty content 😇💕

First let me say, do we share like a cloned brain or something? I agree with all of this 1000% it's like reading something I wrote ♡

I could definitely see Guts being able to push his limits a bit and be a little rougher with his lovers- though as you said, it would take a lot of good communication and reassurance from them. He is enthusiastic/attentive about pleasing his partner as we can see in the manga, but mixing in any violence in a controlled manner would be uncharted territory for Guts. The only violence intermixed with sex he has known as been assault. Losing control would be something he fears instinctually, the thought of unintentionally hurting one of them would definitely trigger some uncomfortable memories at first. But I think if either Casca or Griffith desired rougher treatment, Guts would be willing to at least try. With constant reassurance, and if he were comfortable proceeding, I can definitely see him growing more confident of letting his sadistic/beast side out during sex. As long as his lovers are happy and convey that to him throughout, he’d move mountains for them.

And Switch!Griffith ftw~! I am glad you like my portrayal of him.♡ I believe that Griffith has both a strong sexually dominant side and a more submissive side in general. Only with specific people and when he feels comfortable though does he let himself be more emotionally vulnerable or seek the validation or care of others. In the sexual encounters we do see of Griffith, he takes the dominant role. This is something I feel he sees as both necessary and natural to him. But, like you said, he isn’t always seeking to exert dominance over others. There are times, with those he cares for and trusts deeply, that he allows the reins to fall from his hands for a moment. Seeks their input instead. I think he’s much the same in bed. Sometimes he wants/needs to show them how they belong to him, and other times he wants them to prove their love to him by giving to him. Validate his love of them. He’s extremely possessive, but not purely sexually dominant ♡

Thank you for these lovely thoughts, dear. We are a small fandom, but our braincells are united haha ♡

#berserk #oooh boy sorry if i wrote to much and missed something #wall of text ate my eyeballs while i typed haha #thank you for the lovely hcs

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violettelueur · 3 years

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— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE NINE || SMALL FLY AND REVERSE RETRIBUTION

↳ featuring : gojo satoru + ieiri shoko (mentions of fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + zenin maki + nanami kento) from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of corpse + mention of blood + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 09 march

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 2.4k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : boredom

↳ next episode : idle transfiguration

↳ barista’s notes : hi there everyone! right now i know i haven’t been the most active i have been but i really thankful on how patient you all are ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ once again, thank you all for the birthday messages you have given me and the love that you all have for Y/N, i’m really glad that you love her character ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ i hope you enjoy today’s episode even though it isn’t that interesting at all to be honest...

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

no cursed spells used this episode..

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“At this point, I’m not going to get any sleep if I keep doing this,” you mumbled quietly to yourself, as you leisurely walked down the stone steps that lead to the familiar track field you had been going to for the past few weeks for training due to the up and coming Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event.

Currently, there was nothing more than a few mild wind breezes as well as the brightness from the moon keeping you company as you decided to come out of your room for the night - how many times have you done this? You wouldn’t even know the answer yourself, you just let yourself go outside to get some fresh air.

Finally reaching to the bottom of the steps, you casually made your way to the tree you always sat under during training with your classmates and second-year upper-classmen before taking off your black longline coat to place it on the ground like a cover as you processed to sit before laying right on top of it leading your view to change from the field to the sky that was slightly shielding by the branch and leaves from the trees.

“What...am I even doing here?” you questioned yourself while raising your arm slightly above your face as you stared at your hand absently like the answer you were looking for was at the back of your hand.

From what you have learnt at being at Jujutsu Tech for some time, you learnt that everyone had a purpose of being at the institution that you were currently residing in now.

Everyone you have met and knew here at this moment in time had a purpose or a goal of being a jujutsu sorcerer.

What about you?

Fushiguro thought the world was unfair and the reasoning behind his reasoning of becoming a sorcerer was to be a tool within a system that ensured kind people were given more chances in living. However, unlike you, you weren’t really fond of his reasoning at all.

What happens if those ‘good’ people you saved become the criminal you refused to save? What happens if those ‘good’ people you deemed ‘good’ become the most immoral and sinful person you ever encountered? What happens if those ‘good’ people you save that smiled at your actions for them lead that smile to fade?

Like you mentioned, you weren’t fond of his reasoning at all. There were too many risks.

Kugisaki's reasoning was humorous as she wanted to move out of the countryside without any worries of financial issues but you knew somewhere in your heart that there was another reason she wasn’t telling you when you asked her during your usual weekend shopping trip with her. On the other hand, you admired her in some way, she was the personification of not needing to choose between strength and beauty.

However, that wasn’t the answer you weren’t looking for at all.

Zenin (Maki) wanted to escape the ties of the Zenin clan due to her situation of not being able to possess any kind of cursed energy compared to the averaged sorcerer, yet with the heavenly restriction that was traded with the lack of cursed energy, she processed superhuman physical prowess that was more powerful than most sorcerers you come to know.

Her reasoning? To become the head of the Zenin clan to irritate the other members.

When she mentioned her ambition to you, you were quite sceptical in the beginning but that slowly diminished once you saw the cheeky grin on her face, you soon came to realise that she wasn’t like any of them from whom you could recall due to your mother’s knowledge of them when she was still alive. Zenin was extremely strong-headed and straightforward which led to her motivation causing your respect for her to slowly rise up as each day went by.

On the other hand, you had escaped the ties of the clans, you had that advantage ahead of her since the day you came into this world, yet that changed the second you came into school that night. That wasn’t the answer you were trying to discover.

Then there was Gojo Satoru. A man that is known to be the strongest in this generation as he processed both the Limitless technique as well as the Six Eyes after 400 years assumingly and was the lone standing member of the Gojo clan unless your adoption made a change to that to which you knew it wasn’t likely at all.

To be honest, Gojo never told you his reasoning on becoming a sorcerer and it must be said that he didn’t really have a choice, to begin with. He was immediately placed into this world as the fate of the jujutsu world was resting on his shoulders while your clan was the maintenance of that order and if anything happened to the man himself, you were the next sorcerer to restore the stability of the world.

‘Ugh, what a drag…’

Although, without his words, you could predict what he wanted. Gojo seemed like he wanted a revolution. A change and actively collecting sorcerers that had the same mindset as him was one way of beginning it. You couldn’t deny that Gojo was a smart man but one with a hint of narcissist meaning to it.

Slowly, you come to realise that you were a tool within his plan.

Something you slowly wanted to take advantage of for the time being.

However, as much as his plan was one you were tensely going to follow, that still wasn’t the answer you desired at all.

“Because I’m not supposed to exist Fushiguro, you’re a Zenin by blood, you should know that my clan shouldn’t exist after the golden age, we disappeared,”

“That’s right...I wasn’t supposed to exist…”

Slowly you finally placed your arm back down to your side before closing your eyes allowing the darkness to consume your sight but you didn’t allow it to consume the whole of you since you weren’t willing to fall asleep outside in the world where you felt most vulnerable.

It was quiet.

From what you could sense around you at this current moment in time, there was no one around you right now, no sound of footsteps that were out of place and no lingering sense of cursed energy around you.

You felt free.

Completely free.

Even if it was for a couple of seconds.

“You know, instead of being a drag, maybe inform that you are here,” you stated, as you opened your eyes slowly to discover a well-known face staring down at you as their body towered over yours.

“You can sense me that quick?” Gojo asked, with a cheeky smile painted on his face as he tilted his glasses down to reveal his crystal indicolite eyes that somehow looked as if they were brighter than the moon that was above the both of you right now.

“You have an immense amount of cursed energy, it’s quite easy to sense you to be honest...too easy,” you mentioned, before turning on to your side as if to avoid eye contact with him due to the feeling of him studying you like you were s subject - it was creepy.

“If you are going to study me about my ability, just go to the library in the school to read about my clan, I’m sure that is enough,” you informed your teacher, causing him to giggle at your comment before inviting himself to sit next to you.

“Nah, I got the real thing of the lingering L/N clan here and I don’t like reading~” Gojo amusingly stated, before placing a hand on the top of your head before gently ruffling your hair. “Besides, you and I both know that something is going on right now,” Gojo seriously mentioned, causing you to become slightly tense as you began to recall the unexpected attack against him that he was hinting to you.

“Do you know any curse users that are willing to work with the two curses that you encountered?” you asked Gojo in the same serious tone he gave you only for silence to fill the atmosphere leading you to turn your head slightly to see what was wrong with your adoptive father, only to notice him staring off into the distance with a nonchalant look on his face only for it to change instant with the usual playful smile he always showcased to you.

“By the way, I told Shoko to expect you tomorrow to practice your reverse cursed energy technique,” the playful teacher stated before removing his hand from your head as he stood up on his feet. “It might be difficult for you to understand since she’s not the best at explaining, but I know you’ll get it! Get back inside and get back to sleep~” he said with a teasing tone, before making his way back into the Jujutsu Tech building, leaving you alone again with your own thoughts as you stared at the direction that he had headed off to.

“What a drag…”

ꕥ

“Shoko-san?” you called out, once the metal door slid open only to discover her standing between two metal tables with what seemed to be curse corpses resting there with blood splattered messily on their resting surface.

“Oh Y/N! Satoru said you were going to come by,” Ieiri mentioned with a small smile, as she turned to look at you while tying her hair back leading you to notice the very visible purple under eye bags she had.

Ieiri Shoko was the doctor within the Jujutsu Tech institution and was one of the only people that was able to use reverse cursed technique like you but more at an advanced level leading you to mentally thank Gojo for allowing you to learn from her since you had been struggling to use it to the level that she was. Even your mother was struggling to help improve your technique since the only time you were able to use it to your full potential was when you were in critical danger.

“What’s going on?” you curiously asked as you observed the gruesome sight in front of you while trying to ignore the horrible smell that was coming from the corpses as you gently placed your hand over your nose to block the scent.

“There was been an incident in Kinema Cinema and I have been asked to check out these since one of the sorcerers that were assigned to the mission stated there was something odd about them,” Ieiri explained before handing you a black elastic band leading to a confused look to invade your face.

“And I want you to help since Saturo said you have a really good sense of seeing residue of cursed energy, as well as sense, cursed energy itself,” Ieiri informed you leading you to take the hairband from her grasp as well as the other surgical mask that was needed in case you both needed to dissect something.

“Are you sure I’m allowed to do this? I don’t have a license,” you questioned, as you placed the mask over your mouth causing Ieiri to look at you before saying to not worry since she was here - which caused you to look at her with a sceptical expression before going on to the task at hand as you stood next to her to peer over one of the deceased curses that were laying on the metal bench.

While observing the gruesome sight, you began to steadily see a trail of the lingering residue of cursed energy from the whole body, yet for some reason, there was a connection to the brain as you continued to stare that the sight much to your dismay.

“Human?” you stated in a perplexed tone while continuing to look at the head as the most amount of residue was there for the most part. “There’s a connection to the brain, so I assume the brain stems have been tampered with to alter the formation of the body, but the person wouldn’t know any of that due to probably their now impaired consciousness...it’s as if the human has been transfigured in a way like the other one behind us,” you informed Ieiri, who seemed to agree with you as she lightly nodded her head.

“Though the relationship between the brain and the cursed energy is still a black box right now, they died because of the modification and not because of the sorcerer,” the doctor added, causing you to give a side glance in her direction as you continued to listen to her explanation.

“Do you think it’s to do with the soul?” you asked, as you fully turned to look at her while she looked at you in confusion.

“Right now, we’re looking at it in a biological sense but if we are talking about a cursed spirit like Sukuna for example that is doing this, it has to do with the soul rather than the body itself,” you informed the doctor, causing her to look at you with widened eyes as she didn’t expect her old schoolmate’s daughter to have such a high capability to come to different ideas since it was Gojo that was your parent after all.

“Kento will have to ask the culprit about their cursed technique to see if your theory is correct,” Ieiri mentioned, leading you to look at her confused once again as you threw your surgical mask in the bin, only for her to swiftly inform you that a grade one sorcerer by the name of Nanami Kento was the one to inform her about the situation.

“I have to make a quick call to him to explain the discovery we made. Can you step outside and wait for me before I call you back so we can proceed to your lesson?” the doctor asked you with a smile leading you to nod at her before making your way towards the metal door that had come through before as you took one more peek at the Jujutsu Tech’s doctor’s direction with a perplexed and doubtful sense.

‘What’s the reason for me to be out of the room if I got involved with the investigation? What are you hiding from me?’

However, you didn’t want to make a whole fuss about your suspicion since you really didn’t have the effort to voice out your concern leading you to leave the room with more questions plaguing your mind as the ringing tone carried itself in the air.

“This is such a drag”

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bsd-bibliophile · 6 years

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In relation to your magnificent post about Dazai's real self, what do you think about his scene with Q, and the scene after when he slaps Atsushi?

Mag-magnificent!?!?!? I never expected anyone to really think that highly of my ramblings about Dazai! Thank you very much, and I am so glad you like it!

So I think I’ll just walk through the scene and include different screenshots and explain as I go.

Dazai begins the scene all business with the mafia, definitely intending to hide any information he has while extracting all the information he can from Higuchi and Gin. This is also right after Dazai finished explaining to Atsushi in the manga that the side with the most information has the advantage and that he can think of about 300 possible ways the Agency can still win the war even though they do not have as many people or resources as the Guild or Mafia. Of course he’s confident and calculating while talking with Higuchi and Gin about Q and his ability until…

He realizes that they mentioned they came to protect him, meaning he would have been in danger and Atsushi and the secretaries are now in danger. The main reason I think this causes Dazai concern was that he never imagined that Mori would free Q and never considered this as a possible threat. He is well aware that Mori sees him as a threat, but at the same time as a pawn that Mori will use whenever he wants to, so I am sure that Dazai understands that Mori really would try and remove him from harms way while attacking the Agency and that Higuchi and Gin were only used to lure Dazai away. Dazai of course realizes this and knows it might already be too late, and I think that the reaction he has here is because he’s messed up big time. Not only does he need Atsushi in order to defeat the Guild, and later Fyodor, but the Agency is his home and he does care about Atsushi and the secretaries (even if he is usually putting on an act, playing around, and keeping distance emotionally from everyone, it is still the place he has been the most accepted and able to relax and be him self more often). I would think that he has already thought threw in that split second to all the possible outcomes and knows what the worst case scenario would be and that Atsushi, a key member of the Agency and Dazai’s plans as well as the one who has likely influenced Dazai to want to live again (you can read that analysis here), could be either killed or mentally scared from his encounter with Q. Dazai was also the one who locked up Q the first time and is very aware of just how devastating Q’s ability is.

I really like how Harukawa-sensei draws Dazai’s eyes with more light when he’s… how should I put it, on the side of good? He’s actually fighting for good, even though he probably believes that he isn’t worthy of being called one of the good guys at heart and that he is just acting like a good guy. But like when he realizes that the other Agency members are in trouble his eyes are drawn with very little darkness in them. That is Harukawa-sensei’s way of showing that Dazai’s motives are good in this situation and that he is not resorting to dark, evil means to reach his goals the way he did as a mafia executive. It’s because of this that I believe that Dazai is truly dedicated to his friends at the Agency and to being a good mentor to Atsushi, not just that Q is in the way of his plans and that he didn’t see this coming.

We don’t get to see Dazai’s face in the manga when he says his famous “I’ll rip your heart out,” or “I will hollow out your heart” line, but the anime definitely makes it clear that Dazai is now back into his dark mode. He wants to make it clear that Q will not get away with this. I also included the panel right before this line from the manga, and if you look at Dazai’s eyes they have more black in them than in the previous panels.

Basically how Dazai acts in this scene with Q shows that he is still capable of being the dark, evil mafia executive he was before, but now his priorities and goals are definitely more about saving his friends and protecting people. However, when it comes to protecting what’s his he will stop at nothing to do that. I think that this panel sums it up pretty well:

Then when it comes to the scene with Atsushi afterward I think that Dazai knows very well that he has to tread carefully. He more than anyone is aware of Atsushi’s mental state and what Q’s curse has done to him. It was Dazai who Atsushi told in episode 1, “You’re really confident. I’m kind of jealous. They called me a good-for-nothing at the orphanage as far back as I can remember. and now, I don’t even know where I’ll sleep tonight or whether I’ll be able to earn my keep tomorrow. No one’d care if someone like me were to die in a ditch somewhere. Yeah, I may be better off eaten by a tiger…” Even though we as readers and audience members are very aware of what was said to Atsushi at the orphanage and from chapter 39 we learned just how horribly he was treated there, but Atsushi only ever tells everyone else that he was kicked out and that he has no friends, family, job, or home. No one other than Dazai has seen Atsushi at his lowest point after leaving the orphanage, and that is why I believe Dazai is very much aware of how fragile Atsushi is in this scene.

Dazai starts by telling Atsushi that it’s time to go, but Atsushi is definitely more concerned with the fact he just hurt the people he was trying to protect and how he feels like he has lost the right to keep living. And saying things like “I’m no good” and “I shouldn’t have existed” are very strong words and Dazai knows he has to get Atsushi to snap out of it and calm down otherwise he won’t hear a word Dazai says (and I don’t think Dazai’s the kind of person to explain something more than once). But at the same time his objective is to help Atsushi get through this and pull himself together sooner than later for the his own sake as well as for the sake of Yokohama (now that Q’s on the loose they need to be on their toes). And considering the fact that Dazai keeps himself at arms length from people it says a lot that he will get down on Atsushi’s level and reach out to him and gently get his attention. But at the same time Dazai hasn’t had the kind of life that taught him to be gentle and patient, so he does the fasted, most effective thing he can to get Atsushi to focus:

These are two of my favorite pages in the manga (after the dog scene of course)! The fact that Dazai begins with “I have no right to take away your past” stand out so much to me! He is effectively saying that he understands Atsushi and what he has gone through. Atsushi’s past is what makes him who he is, and it is something very personal to him and Dazai does not want to undermine that in any way. And if all he wanted to do was snap Atsushi out of it so he would go back to the Agency and help Dazai defeat the Guild and the Mafia then I think he would have treated Atsushi more like how he treated Akutagawa and just told him to get moving, and Atsushi would have followed because he does respect Dazai. But before getting back to strategizing and saving everyone Dazai takes the time to give Atsushi some profound advice, “Do not pity yourself. If you wallow in self-pity life will be an endless nightmare.” I don’t doubt that he is talking from personal experience. How could Dazai not have wallowed in self pity before when he was always looking either for a reason to live or a way to die, whatever came first, until around the time he met Atsushi? Because he has been in the position Atsushi is in now he knows what Atsushi needs to hear, and he cares about Atsushi and wants him to move on and become happy. Atsushi was probably startled more by Dazai’s comment than by the slap (I mean, all Atsushi does is get beat up in half the chapters). And in the bottom panel it is obvious that Dazai has said something that had a profound effect on Atsushi.

But then it’s back to business as usual, you know, saving Yokohama and all that. I think Dazai knows that Atsushi needs time to process everything and that talking about it more at that point wouldn’t do any good. Dazai has probably done all he knows how to for Atsushi. The way Dazai helps is by giving space. He knows that Atsushi has a lot to process and then there are all the pent up feelings and uncertainties about himself that no amount of advice is going to help. And Atsushi isn’t used to displays of affection, or positive physical contact like when Dazai lifted Atsushi’s face to look up at him before he slapped Atsushi. Poor Atsushi was probably shocked just to have Dazai touch him without hurting him, and maybe the slap was more welcome to Atsushi than the gentle touch before it, but that is completely speculation on my part. Dazai more than anyone understands that affection and attention would be difficult for Atsushi to accept, especially with his emotional state being where it is at. So really Dazai is doing the most kind, caring thing possible by changing the subject and giving Atsushi time to think and understand what Dazai told him.

I feel like the last little bit there is all a jumble of thoughts, so I hope it makes sense. And I also feel like I stated the obvious a lot, so sorry if it got boring in places. I don’t really see any correlations between the real Dazai and these scenes, so I hope it’s okay that I only talked about BSD Dazai and his emotions/perspective. Thank you, anon, for the ask! I am flattered that you would value my opinion on important scenes like these.

#asks #dazai #q #atsushi #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #analysis

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mustdang-100 · 7 years

Text

Inevitable

BNHA Fanfiction Based on this incredible art and AU by @keiid. Idea credit is theirs.

“They always insinuate that it’s a quirk fit for a villain. But I’m used to it now. It’s inevitable, society being the way it is.” It was really only a matter of time before Shinsou Hitoshi changed sides. (Minor manga spoilers)

A layer of haze hung suspended in the room of the abandoned factory. Dirt swirled through the air, displaced from cracked floor tiles and decaying furniture by the four people who entered and spaced themselves evenly throughout. A coating of filth clung to the lightbulbs, rendering their light weak and nearly useless. Motes shifted in the blue-white glare of a television propped in the corner, the brightest source of illumination in the room. The very air tasted of dust.

It wasn’t the cleanest place the Villain Alliance could have claimed as a meeting place, Shigaraki reflected, scratching at his neck. But it was convenient. And he wasn’t stupid enough to bring an untested recruit to their main hideout. They were too low on members to risk any of them needlessly.

But then, that’s what made a new recruit so valuable. And this one in particular…

Shigaraki gazed at the purple-haired teen in satisfaction.

Oh yes. This one could could be exactly the kind of asset they needed. It was just a pity his joining their side had coincided with such commotion.

Shinsou was staring wordlessly at the news channel displayed on the TV, his arms crossed over his chest. A banner scrolled along the bottom of the screen, screaming in bold white letters on a brilliant red background:

YUUEI HIGH STUDENT SHINSOU HITOSHI SPOTTED FLEEING SCENE WITH VILLAIN ALLIANCE

Above the banner, a trio of reporters gleefully engaged in furious discussion of Shinsou’s character. They dug up the measliest bones of his past, pulling them apart, gnawing at the marrow.

“A Yuuei High student with a brainwashing quirk…”

“…witnessed today approaching known Villain Alliance members during an operation of unknown purpose…”

“…rejected from the Heroics Course after failing the entrance exam…”

“…nevertheless, he had quite a strong showing in the Yuuei Sports Festival…”

“…but mind-manipulation just really isn’t a very heroic quirk…”

“…a quirk like that…”

“It was only a matter of time…”

Shigaraki pushed a button on the remote in his hand, muting the TV. He watched Shinsou closely, trying to gauge his reactions, but Shinsou had not moved from the casual pose. He was holding his expression steady, trying to stay as stoic as possible. Yet, Shigaraki caught the barest curl of a lip into a sneer.

There it was. There was the anger Shigaraki wanted to see. The contempt for the trash currently passing for their society.

Behind the hand that clutched his face in an ever-present comfort, Shigaraki smiled.

“You see how quickly they turn on you?” he said, trying to sound soothing, calming. Trustworthy. “This society, with such a limited view on what it means to be a ‘hero,’ and on what kind of people and quirks are allowed to be heroic, would never accept you. You’ve made the right decision, in joining us. This is your chance to…”

“I don’t trust him,” Dabi said from across the room, rudely interrupting. “He just showed up today out of the blue, and we’re just gonna let him in? Just like that?” Dabi shifted himself off a dusty desk and stood upright, reptilian eyes cold as he turned to look directly at Shinsou.

“You hear me? I don’t trust you as far as I could -”

Dabi stopped talking.

His face went completely blank, as though wiped clean. His jaw went slack, his wide eyes clouded. Shinsou turned towards him, very slowly. A baleful smile crept across his face, so bereft of mercy that even Shigaraki felt a little chilled.

“You know the best part of leaving behind my aspirations of heroism?” Shinsou asked softly.

Nobody answered. Dabi stood, motionless, reduced to a mere puppet.

“I can use my quirk as freely as I want. You should be careful what you say to me.”

Shinsou’s crooked smile widened. The very room seemed to hold its breath.

“But I’ll let you off easy this time. Now, go stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done wrong.”

Dabi walked slowly to a corner of the room and planted himself firmly into it, back facing the rest of them. Just like a toddler in a time-out.

Toga laughed from her perch on a table on the other side of the room, manic joy gleaming in her eyes.

“Oh, well I do like him.”

Shigaraki couldn’t help but agree, despite himself. Where the Alliance’s persuasions had failed with the loud, raucous, violent Bakugou Katsuki, they had apparently succeeded with Shinsou Hitoshi. Of course, it made sense that the overlooked one, the stealthy one, the one constantly pushed to second-class by their hero-worshipping society, that he would be the one to take up their cause. He should have seen this before.

Although, Shigaraki almost laughed to himself, Shinsou hadn’t been so quiet in the arena.

“Your comments to Midoriya during the sports festival were quite… illuminating.” Shigaraki paused for effect, as if in remorse, and then continued. “I did consider reaching out to you then, and I now regret my conclusion that Bakugou would be the student most likely to understand our cause. That was my mistake, and one I am glad to be able to correct.”

Toga spoke up again. “Unmute! Eraser’s on the TV!”

Shigaraki hit the button on the remote as Eraserhead’s face filled the screen. Clearly cornered by the media at the gates of Yuuei High, his eyes were hard, his jaw set. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to hit the reporter currently shoving a microphone into his face.

The audio cut in, filling the room with noise.

“ – have anything to say about one of Yuuei’s students joining the villains that our country’s top heroes have been hunting for months?”

The young reporter’s smile displayed every gleaming tooth. She bared them at Eraserhead, the hero who’d been a thorn in Shigaraki’s side since their very first encounter at the USJ.

On screen, Eraserhead scowled.

“No comment.”

The reporter was not daunted.

“The Villain Alliance? The group responsible for the recent downfall of former Number One Hero All Might?”

“No comment.”

The camera managed to zoom in even closer on Eraserhead’s face.

“There’s an inside source reporting that Shinsou might have been working towards re-qualifying for entry into the Hero Course. The word is that he’d been training with you, specifically, possibly as part of a specialized mentorship. Does that make you feel partially responsible for this betrayal-”

Rage flashed, wild in a face normally so bland. There was an edge of despair and pain in that expression that gratified Shigaraki. That anguish convinced him more than anything else Shinsou had done or said in the past few hours.

The reporter took a startled step back from her target, moving out of frame.

“No. Comment,” Eraserhead gritted through clenched teeth. He then turned and slammed the Yuuei gates behind him.

Shigaraki turned to look again at Shinsou, whose face had taken on an expression closer to that of a wounded puppy than a hardened criminal.

“Second thoughts?”

Shinsou shook his head, seeming to shake himself out of whatever Eraserhead’s words – or lack of them – had provoked.

“No. I realized I wasn’t going to get anywhere, despite… despite Sensei’s help.” He shuddered. “I’m done trying.”

Shigaraki awkwardly placed a hand on Shinsou shoulder.

“Here, you won’t have to try. You can just be one of us; a crusader, fighting for the same cause we are. You can simply… belong.”

A glimmer of hope gleamed in Shinsou’s face, in tired purple eyes. Shigaraki smiled again behind his mask.

There was a lot of power in the word ‘belong.’

***

As soon as Shinsou clicked the lock in the dilapidated bathroom door’s handle, he ripped his phone from his pocket. He typed furiously on the small screen, logging in to an email address composed of random numbers and letters that he had memorized by heart.

The browser window loaded slowly, so slowly. His pulse pounded in his ears. He didn’t have much time before some kind of transportation arrived, to take them to the Alliance’s main hideout.

He had done it. He was in. Now he just had to keep from fucking it all up.

The page finally loaded.

One message sat unopened in the inbox. Its sender was a second familiar string of anonymous numbers and letters. The bolded lettering of a new message was somehow both a shot of adrenaline and a balm to his soul.

The message was short. The message was everything.

Good job. Keep in touch as you can, I will do the same. Stay safe.

-AS

Shinsou logged out of the account, and wiped the browser history. Inexplicably, he suddenly felt the urge to cry. That wouldn’t do.

He collapsed onto the closed toilet seat and pressed his hands into his face, as though he could push his emotions back, back down to where they must stay hidden deep in his hero’s heart. He could not give away the scheme. He and the USJ teachers had prepared for this undercover mission too long for him to let them down. He had trained his quirk, his body, and his emotions too hard for him to make a mistake now.

And puffy eyes would be a dead giveaway – he would fail his school. Fail Aizawa, his sensei. Fail himself.

Shinsou took a deep, barely-shaky breath, and stood up. He needed to rejoin the villains.

Shinsou showed no sign of tears as he shoved the phone back into his pocket, leaving the bathroom door creaking closed behind him.

Part 2: Impossible

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #shinsou hitoshi #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #long post #my fics #trying my hand at bnha fic #i have a couple ideas for a follow-up but we'll see

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