#i assure you they would not care

[tomurakii]

I like bloodweave. Okay. But I DON'T like the version of them in fanfic where Astarion is a dick and Gale is like. Whining and pleading for him to be emotionally vulnerable (or just. Nice to him) prior to the relationship being established. Because that is just not accurate. Gale needs the player to express interest in him during his weave-teaching scene before he even considers hitting on them properly. Gale is entirely resigned to his fate and needs someone else to pull him away from it. Gale only starts being sweet and romantic and devoted after you accept his love confession and give him hope for the future. Gale says fuck all and then slinks away to cry privately if you break up with him.

Like he isn't chasing after people lmao. He isn't dropping to his knees and crying about anything much less this dickhead he met a week ago. He is overwhelmingly passive about literally everything personal to him up to and including his own death (provided there are no casualties/there is a good reason) until after the player expresses that they care about him. Astarion is not doing that in any of these fics.

Like Gale is friendly and a dork and doesn't wanna get murdered but he fully has a suicide plan. He thought the artefacts would help him survive but he didn't believe he'd ever truly live again. If Gale confessed and Astarion said/did like one (1) mean thing afterward Gale's romance is closed off forever. He's wandering into the forest to cry. He's killing himself immediately. His fragile ego and self worth can't take it. You have to understand that when we joke about him being pathetic it's not bc he's like. Sopping wet and chasing people down and begging for a scrap of attention. It's because he craves affection but would literally rather die than ask or even hope for it until someone else forces that hope back into his serotonin-deficient tadpole brain.

#i feel like u can tell when a bloodweave fic is written by an astarion stan vs a gale stan lol #because the astarion stans are just using gale as a vessel for like. their sopping wet meow meow #who screams and cries until astarion becomes emotionally vulnerable with them #which gale would not do. realistic bloodweave is astarion tries to fuck him in act 1 and he refuses because of the orb #and then astarion is like “boo what the fuck. change of plans” and gale is like “okay” and they never speak of it again lol #anyway #please god the gale characterisation in this place. half of you make him the soppiest most pathetic loser and the other half make him evil #he's not ACTUALLY a loser. when i joke about it the reason its funny is because its not true #hes just a regular guy with depression lol. hes not out here debasing himself begging for some old twink to care abt him #bg3 #gale dekarios #bloodweave #gale of waterdeep #does this make sense. i havent slept #i just mean that if you want gale to be sappy he needs to have like. prior assurance that his feelings are reciprocated #because if he doesnt have that and astarion is a dick to him he WILL just give up on the relationship #like hes not hunting people down after they deliberately upset him. i see so many fics where they create tension by lime #*like #having astarion openly fuck someone else after establishing a sort-of relationship with gale. for the drama #like hey. gale fully dumps you if you do that in game!! you have no way to convince him not to. he will dump astarion for that permanently

[fluffypotatey]

I find it deeply aesthetically pleasing, character-wise, that Arthur and Merlin are both very much like their mothers, which is especially meaningful in Arthur's case since he's never known his mother beyond a single painfully brief meeting in "Sins of the Father."

Not only does Arthur look like Ygraine (which adds several layers to the clusterfuck of his and Uther's relationship) but it's clear that he takes after her temperament, too. Yes, he sometimes shows his father's temper, and yes, he does stupid things when he's in a temper, but unlike Uther, who literally took his prejudices to his grave and beyond, Arthur never stays mad at people, and he's overall a far more caring and kind person than his father, which is an interesting case of nature vs nurture.

And then on the other hand, we have Hunith, who told a mounted, armed brigand to go fuck himself, later fought another (also armed) brigand with a twig broom, harboured fugitives on multiple occasions, and raised an illegal magic child out of wedlock, and Merlin "Fuck the Police" Ambrosius, who got in a fistfight, got thrown in jail for the fistfight, called the prince a bitch to his face in a public market square, got in a second, armed fight all within his first 48 hours in Camelot, and then committed treason on a daily basis for the next 10+ years, compared to Balinor, who became a weird antisocial hermit that lived in a cave for twenty years.

couldn't have said it better myself bestie

also, there's a reason hunith and ygraine never met in the show. their dynamic duo would outshine everyone, they'd be unstoppable, untouchable, I FEEL ROBBED

#ahem anyway #yes they do take after their mothers and yes this does provide insight in how merlin and arthur complement one another #and like i just have such a soft heart at the thought of arthur wanting to know about his mother and asking the staff what he can #maybe he asks the older knights who treat him like a nephew they never had and one of the most common thing they'll say is #“ygraine was kind and cared for her people” #“ygraine was not one to abandon the needy when times got tough” #“ygraine saw her role as monarch as one of service and not greed for power” #and mini arthur internalized that shit i accept NO criticism #merlin was a total mama's boy as we all saw and she had him drinking that anarchy juice since he was small #hunith was merlin's first hero and fuck i'm crying #bye i'm too soft for this #bbc merlin #headcanons #arthur pendragon #merlin emrys #hunith #ygraine #hunith & ygraine would have totally wreaked some shit if they ever met i assure you it is a CRIME (to me) THAT SUCH A DUO NEVER *gunshots*

[blazeturbo102]

Oh, I was wrong, my parents still think Crowley and Aziraphale are just buddies🙃(they've just started S2)

I'm literally dying to see them get to the last episode, I'll just be there watching their reactions like

#good omens #good omens 2 #he was like 'I like that Crowley cares for his... friend; enough that he doesnt want that offer of power from hell' #i had to stare at my plate for a moment before I answered so I could control my face lmao #i mean; Crowley would do that even if he really loved him only as friend; but that's not what my dad meant; i can assure you😮‍💨 #what did surprised me is that his fav is Aziraphale; and my mom's fav is Crowley; wasnt expecting that O.o #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #azicrow #go #go 2 #i said I'd be watching their reactions with a smile; but now that I think about it; ill probably just be crying my heart out🥲🥲

[theotterpenguin]

the way that (usually male) k//ataang shippers obsess over aang’s height… why are you so concerned about zutara shippers supposedly self-inserting like please the call is coming from inside the house

#today i encountered three different posts talking about how they can’t wait for aang’s actor to grow taller than katara 💀 #zutara #anti kataang #atla fandom critical #“zk shippers would ship k/ataang if he was taller” I assure you none of us care about his height because he’s 12… which is the actual issue #my post #not to mention that all shipping involves some degree of self insertion since there’s something about the dynamic that you personally enjoy #so moralizing yourself as “above” self inserting while being a hardcore shipper yourself is just hypocritical

[skitskatdacat63]

Boy King Seb :D

#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333 #he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today #this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!! #can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant #i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am' #this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!! #i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;; #okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH): #this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved) #its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph? #but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010) #its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves #seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his #so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better #whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it) #not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh #anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO #its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation #pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) #i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos #sebastian vettel #f1 #formula 1 #f1 art #formula 1 art #f1 fanart #formula 1 fanart #catie.art. #*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such #boy king au

[randomwriteronline]

Perditus grunted a little as he adjusted his leg while laying down against the rock. It was a pleasant day, all things considered: the sun was warm without being smoldering, the winds were strong but not as harsh as usual, and he had something to make the pain a little more bearable.

With his eyes shut he fished a flint lighter and a medicinal sghitt out of the pouch under his thigh armor.

He didn't bother looking as he heard footsteps approach quickly; medication stuck between his teeth, he clicked lazily until he caught the telltale crackle of papery tissue catching fire, took the longest, deepest inhale he could, soaking in the acrid taste and familiar burn in the back of his head, and let an enormous cloud of septic-smelling smoke blow out of his mouth with a growling sigh.

His fellow debtor sat beside him nervously, scanning the horizon.

"Any news?" he asked.

"I was going to ask you," the Glatorian replied.

"None, then."

"None."

Hard nails tapped far too quickly against the rock.

Perditus took another drag. The numbing effect was starting to take hold of his anguishing limb.

"Do you think it'll be soon?" Atakus asked.

The Tapyri exhaled: "Maybe."

"Yes or no?"

"Maybe, I said."

"Maybe means nothing," the other said, glaring at him with his typical nervous anger, the fact that the larger being still wasn't looking at him inconsequential: "Will it be soon, yes or no?"

A shrug: "Probably, yes."

"You think?"

"Unless he wants to observe these freaks of nature do their merry little dance in a new environment for a while. But I'll bet a guy like him has already watched them long enough to get bored by now."

Another pause.

The hard nails were now scratching at the stone.

Another long drag and a puff of smoke.

"Do you think he'll kill us before or after the plan's done?"

"Who knows," Perditus answered lazily. He reclined his head to better bask in the sun. "Before would be a little annoying. For us, of course, he wouldn't care if we never saw what all this thankless work has been for. But then again we're his cannon fodder - maybe he'll wait till he has no need even for that."

He played with his sghitt, turning it between his fingers.

The knowledge that his eventual instantaneous murder would be inevitable had slowly but surely numbed him to the very same fact across the span of the many, interminable centuries that had passed since the day he'd started wracking up this blasted debt, and his only request (which he knew would never be taken into consideration) was to be allowed to die slowly, painfully, so that he could at least feel the life leave his body properly; but Atakus had never managed to make peace with the horror of their shared fate, and now that the moment was drawing near he was every day a little closer to losing his mind completely to the horror of his situation.

Frankly he was surprised the Potori had lived this long, with as anxious a disposition as he had. He'd always imagined he'd get out of his shackles with a stroke.

And yet here they both were.

Awaiting the second coming of a cruel god.

And while entire species were about to be massacred into heaps of melting, wailing scraps any second or day or month now, they were sitting against a rock under a pleasantly warm sun bathing in its light.

He could hear the Agori's irregular breath become louder.

"How's your leg?" Atakus asked in a fruitless attempt at changing the course of his spiraling thoughts.

"Hurts as usual." Perditus replied. "How's your heart?"

"Beating too fast," the Potori answered, "As usual."

The Glatorian's hand leaned over to the smaller being, offering the sghitt between his index and middle: "Take as many as you need."

The medicine was taken from his fingers by significantly shakier ones. He listened to the air slither with a long hiss into Atakus's lungs for the first time; the second was a little longer, a little less frantic, followed by a loud sigh; the third time was slow and deliberate, finally a little more at ease.

He listened to the sound of Skrall armor scraping against stone as the Agori laid back against the warm rock with him. A smaller hand placed the medication back in his palm, and he hummed gratefully before taking another drag himself.

The wind picked up slightly and dragged the smoke away from them.

He opened his eyes blearily, squinting in the sun.

Such a nice day.

Something far, far away, up in the clear sky, exploded. He saw the burst, a blot of bright hot color tearing apart the stratosphere, and long lines of white and faint red as pieces of whatever that was tried to land on Spherus Magna; but the destroyed body was barely above the size of a dot from where he was, and its meteors shriveled up into dust before coming anywhere close to the highest point available for them to strike, and in the end nothing of whatever tragedy had just transpired mattered at all.

The Glatorian hummed.

"Did something happen?" Atakus asked, eyes closed.

"No," his companion reassured him. "Relax."

The Potori did not respond, and got a little more comfortable.

Perditus glanced at him.

Maybe it made sense - he mused for a second, a second only - for Velika, of all cruel, paradoxical beings, to one day have complete and total control over this cruel, paradoxical world.

#bionicle #perditus #atakus #random writing #smoking tw #implied drug use #its essentially painkillers in the form of like a joint but im putting it there just in case yall want it #based on my hc of perditus having a fucked up leg prosthesis that hurts like hell so he needs medicine to have some time without pain #anyways ENJOY YOUR ALLEGIANCE W/ VELIKA!! YOU ARE NOW ENTITLED TO: lifelong debt; nihilism; the assurance that your boss WILL kill you #i dont necessarily care for atakus nor perditus but i like to look into characters' brains and their role as velika's allies is interesting #to me neither of them are properly 'loyal' bc that would imply they respect velika. which they fuckin Do Not #they are terrified of him and he has them in a chokehold bc he can kill them by looking at them slightly to the left if he so decides #but neither side has any respect for the other. theyre useful toys to velika and hes a volatile dangerous and powerful asshole to them #atakus n perditus are not necessarily friends?? either?? but theyre the only bitches on bara magna in this situation so theyre like My Man #just two guys enslaved by a sort of divine entity waiting to be fucked over by said entity. better than bein alone in this ig

[icewindandboringhorror]

A very interesting cloud formation!

#I don't think I had ever really seen clouds like this before? it looks like a cool painting or something :0 #Pulling just a few images from my cloud and sky photos folder which has like 650 pictures in it becvause I'm obsessed with the sky lol #I will usually spare everyone the cloudposting but... in some exceptions when it's really cool I must Share #(upcoming covid mention in tags for those avoiding the topic) #I WANT TO BE ON AN AIRPLANE SO SO BAD I am going to start casting evil spells to explode all these 'back to normal' bastards who are out #spreading virus and shit HHHHHH... Covid is NOT over actually contrary to popular beielf especially for people with health conditions #that make them more vulnerable or would have worse consequences if they were to catch it etc. etc. wearing a mask in public is #in MOSt cases not THAt much of a horrific terrible evil inconvenience and it helps keep everyone around you safer including these #vulnerable populations!!!! Even if I didn't have any problems myself I would STILL be masking because it's a small gesture that can make a #big difference in people around me being comfortable. It's not like people with health issues just never have to go out or go to the stor #or whatever. There are still people out there who could be helped by extra precautions that are being overlooked. grrrrr... #Like at this point since I'm vaccinated and everything I would MAYBE consider flying on an airplane IF everyone else around me #was masking and being just as careful as me. But at this point it's just the wild west and I would literally be the only one who gives #a shit or who gets tested freqeuntly before after and during traveling and wears the proper type of mask well fitting and not half off my f #ce and blah blah blah. And precautions work best when EVEYRONE is participating. There's only so much you can protext yourself if everyone #around you is doing nothing. So.. alas.. I still do not feel safe traveling. And probably won't for years until more progress is made in #terms of like understanding and treating certain long covid issues and etc. Since I think it's inevitable that if I start going out again #I would get covid. Me and my household bubble are some of the only people I know who haven't had it yet (or at least not knowingly so - if #so it was one of the asymptomatic cases etc.). So if I was GOING to get it anyway I'd at least like the assurance that whatever long term #issues I inevtabley suffer because of it will be more easily treatable at that point instead of entirely disabling even further than I'm #already disabled. etc. AAANYWAY!! all that to say. I JSUT REALLY WANT TO be on an airplane!!! I dont even like traveling and going places I #hate vacations and would rather be at home working on my projects I'm fixated on lol HOWEVER I love the view from airplane windows #like the very few times in my life Ive actually been on a plane and the window is so COLD when you lay your forehead on it and sometimes yo #even see little ice crystals and it's like you're just in a landscape of clouds with a sea of clouds above and below and aaaAAAAAA #Literally I want to get on a plane just to go up in the air and then land and fly back. I don't even want to go on a real trip. I just NEED #to see the sky I need to be IN the sky I need to have that VIEW and the cold and everything!!!! gRGGHGgg... And I will do that the entire #time. I think my longest plane ride was 7 hours and I do not watch movies. I dont text or play games. I literally do nothing to entertain #myself except stare straight out the window for 7 hours (with a few eating and bathroom breaks). not even joking lmao. It's like a trance #I LOVE the sky and clouds so much and the view you get from an airplane is like incomparable!! also I love airports with the big windows an #people watching. but mostly I just long for the sky view again. GRRR.. sobbing and yearning >:T

[set-wingedwarrior]

People really be talking about peace and love and understanding of others and social justice, then the moment a villain in a children cartoon sees the errors of their way and gets redeemed through love and understanding they yell outraged that they didn't use a guillotine

#Thinking again about steven universe unfair treatment #But this also applies in general #Besides the fact that deserved redemption in a show isn't linked to the villain actions but to how they're portrait by the writers #People in general really need to stop thinking too hard about inconsistencies and stuff in a show with 5yo target demografic #There's a time and a place for some kinds of judgment #And honestly there are things that we as older audience are meant to ignore or just mindlessly go with it #Because a kid wouldn't care #And making something entertaining and fun is more important than a continuity error #That's not to say children media can't be coherent and with complex characters and storylines #But I'm still more willing to let go mistakes in these cases #The target age plays a hard role in that for me #If you're that unable to do that and get outraged because children cartoon characters don't act like real people would then just drop it #Drop children media and go watch or read something for YOUR target demografic #I assure you you'll be happier #And critics will be more meaningful

[kaus-quietis]

iYeRkFolYeXnwiROkbdGsDrCelDVomRksXc cYwEmRzvOKceBOdRKdsDpOOvCVsuOZKsX cYOXdgSxoNxYgdRKdgOMkX'DcRKuOPbOO S kW iYe kxN iYe kbO Wo

#bsd fyodor #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fyodor dostoyevsky #bsd fyodor dostoevsky #bungou stray dogs fyodor #bsd fanart #traditional fanart #fanart #unsolved and endless #I don't care anymore I'll start having fun on my b l o g and really that is a pathetically simple c y pher right there for y ou it's not muc #and it references a song of course - one that fits perfectly for this fanart <3 #Fedya b!ting his fingert!ps I need this back in the manga - he really only did it till ch42 if I am not mistaken #while the anime skips this detail of his behaviour entirely so no b!ting action for anime-onlys </3 you don't know what you're missing #however despite not being drawn b!ting his fingert!ps like in ch42 so far - his f!ngertips and na!ls are still damag e d in the pr!son arc #!mportant detail for later I B E T mmm #G o dILoveHim ANYWAY here is the second black!haired Fedya that I p o s t on my blog you're welcome #looking at this I understand those who write y a ndere scenarios for him but I assure u dis a completely normal face for a sapio s e x u a l #I do not agree with the y andere takes at all because in canon (manga) he is very polite extremely gentle and overall soft & discreet #that is his aura and I wish more fans would respect that - he remains s!nister and fr!ghtening of course but that's because.. #oh but I will talk about that in my essay at lengt h #anyway Fedya b!ting his r!ngfinger my beloved <3 it's always this r!ngfinger bloodtra!l symbol!sm in 99% of my fanart of him... #I know exactly what it means... but shh interpret to your heart's des!re <3 #anyway did you miss me? why are you still on this hells!te? ah yes because it's still better than others that don't even have a tag system #imagine sharing this on tw*tter and not being able to write tag-novels as the OP or as the reblogger? I don't want that

[everysongineverykey]

being a sherlock holmes canon fan sucks. what the fuck is "i have never loved, watson, but if i did and if the woman i loved met such a fate, i might act even as [that story's murderer] had done" and "by the lord, it is as well for you. if you had killed watson, you would not have got out of this room alive."

#sherlock holmes #acd canon #holmes/watson #what! is! that! sir! #he'd kill for watson! he'd literally kill for him! #i want a sherlock holmes adaptation where someone mortally wounds/tries to kill watson #(or even successfully kills him) #and holmes tracks them down and instead of his regular self-assured pride and calm turning over of the criminal to the police #he just kills them. he's funny like that! he doesn't really often obey the law! he obeys justice! #he lets a thief go because it's christmas and he doesn't feel the man's really a danger to society. #he lets a murderer go because the deed was justified. (that's where the first quote in this post comes from.) #he threatens to attack an abusive stepfather with a riding crop. #hell he threw moriarty off a cliff! because he knew the man was a menace! #i would love to see an adaptation where the murder/attempted murder of watson drives him to kill. #or attempt to kill. and then realize he no longer cares. i'd love to see what could get him to that point! #where's that 'fuck you *goes back to old fandoms*' post. feeling that pretty hard right now

[dyketubbo]

oh also this is mostly so it can go down on record but clarification with the note abt shipping in my intro post abt not minding shipping unless its done with jaiden: i still consider qprs to be shipping as i always have because theyre still intimate relationships that you dont just like.. have with just anybodu. but if you see (ic) roier and jaiden as qprs i dont mind since they have iirc called themselves partners just not married/romantic. so while qprs are still shipping to me nonetheless since its pretty close to what theyve described themselves as in canon queerplatonic roier and jaiden enjoyers are fine by me

#also in part saying this because ill be honest im still like. affected by what the qpe techza drama did to me #i genuinely still get anxious and like. i dont know i start having a genuine trauma reaction when i think about #how people treated me because of that. all bc i said i saw qprs as shipping and wanted people to think more critically #about how they depicted and talked about qprs and how people would treat qprs as a way to get around shipping boundaries #and how all the people who shoved that stupid fucking clip in my face clearly didnt give a shit aboht listening to me #or even gave an actual shit about qprs. because not a single one of them pointed out how shit the explanation was for that dono #im forever grateful phil researched it on his own and came to his conclusion based off that research #and i forever fucking hate every single person who treated me like shit and genuinely saw no problem with acting like #'platonic soulmate headcanons' was the best way to describe qprs #fuck everyone who treated me like shit for saying qprs are shipping #fuck everyone who spread misinfo and claimed *i* was the one saying qprs are 'just friends' #fuck everyone who cared more about proving a point and having their little white mlm ship #than actually fucking listening to me and the others who were desperately trying to get qprs to be treated seriously #because i can fucking assure you the people i saw did not treat them seriously. not at fucking all. all it was to them was romance /p #and thats disgusting and i hope the qpr roier and jaiden people are better. please be better. and please respect me about this #thank you #mask mews #qsmp #roier #jaiden

[anewp0tat0]

oke everything's cool now so guess what new art tool i finally got :DDD

PEN TABLET YEAA

so I made a lizzy, fencing.

headcanon: while I don't think lizzy is the type to yell during a bout, I imagined a time when she beat someone especially hard and had to give a victory exclamation.

I also want to imagine that after BoA, o!ciel was then prompted to go to one of her tournaments. and he's happy because the person he's routing for is winning.

I'm going to art rant now so unless you wanna see that, thanks for viewing!

this is my first time working with pen pressure in digital art and I am incredibly pleased. I thought it would take me much longer to get user to, and I'm still pretty bumpy(not to mention it crashes on me) but otherwise it's actually going pretty good! I look forward to experimenting with digital painting in the new program I'm using. as of right now, I'm actually going slower than expected(these took like 5 hours 😶) which is ironic cause apparently having a pen tablet should make you faster according to other artists. but I think that's expected with where i am currently.

with all of this though I gotta make sure to not forget how to draw with my finger cause I still have a bunch of WIPs that I wanna finish on procreate😅... like a lot l😶

k I'm done now

#ik no one follows me for art rants or advice but whatever im fixating on this pen #so yea sorry about that. oh well #also i dont know if Lizzy still would have her fencing tournements after BoA... and i dont care either XD #this is my fluffy fantasy and i choose the comfort scenario #also i think she looks cool #anyway dont know if ill start pumping out art again yet but rest assured i have ideas and ill just hope they someday be brought to light #also!! guess who just discovered how to cut a post :D hehe. yay google #kuroshitsuji #black butler #kuroshitsuji fanart #fanart #elizabeth midford #lizzy midford #ciel phantomhive #o!ciel #sebastian michaelis #prince soma #soma asman kadar #agni (if you squint. sorry agni stans i forgot till last minute that i had wanted him to be there :< spoiler he's proud dadding) #headcanon #looking wonky anatomy wise but im looking at an uphill i hope :D #bruh i worked so hard to make that cut and tumblr removed it ;[

[blackmoldmp3]

extremely funny when you finally find the fuckin patient zero discourse post everyone’s been vagueing and it’s truly just someone impersonating a thesaurus in order to say nothing at all really. ‘academic sounding’ language doesn’t equate substance my darlings. this is related to my like my number one pet peeve on here. a microblogging website. where someone uses really dense language For No Reason and then acts as tho anyone being confused or misinterpreting it is just illiterate instead of maybe they’re just bad at writing. like u aren’t getting graded here u don’t have a word count to meet please if you are trying to make a point to a general audience be succinct. be clear. at the very least be funny

#don’t even ask me what it was about i immediately deleted it from my brain #nothing any of you would care about i assure you #i use weird words but it’s never to be like I know a lot and u can tell by my weird words. #it’s just bc i have something wrong with me #ANYWAY THIS ISNT THE FEMINIST LITERATURE CLASS YOURE GETTING A C IN ITS SUPERNATURAL TUMBLR….

[slippery-minghus]

hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

#well. i AM probably a monster for how much i dislike this lady #but i don't ACT on it #and i genuinely couldn't care less about her. i participate in decent human pleasantries because i am a decent human. #and at work we're stuck together #the thing that's irked me so much about this conversation is just.. her self centeredness #that she thinks everyone is out to get her. to undermine her. whatever. #bitch nobody cares about you enough one way or the other to put in that kind of effort. i sure don't #i empathize but i do not sympathize. to feel that pit that makes you feel like the worst kind of center of attention #i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you #you are not the cat with all the knives pointed at it #it's a terrible feeling to feel like you are! but when it influences your behavior to the point that you are making snide comments #to people who have no option not to interact with you then uh. then you're in the wrong buddy #and the people around you (who cannot easily leave! bc work!) should not have to bend over backwards to assure you #that they're not pointing knives at you. to protect themselves from your feelings making you say mean shit #like yes. i can be more clear with my intentions. i'm generally not the greatest at that. but my baseline that i want to #modify my behavior from is NOT one that a regular well adjusted person would take as anything but kind #and if a regular well adjusted person got a little offput by me volunteering to take work off their hands we would've had a very chill #3 sentence conversation about it MONTHS AGO. #i understand and respect (even if i find it annoying and overbearing) the need for me to announce my intentions like im working in a kitchen #and saying 'hot water' or 'knife' as i move around other people but we shouldn't have reached this conclusion this way #and frankly who's to fucking say me being more clear with my intentions will only feed the flames of her thinking i'm out to get her! #'i caught up on my stuff and your plate looks full. i'm bored. anything i can do to help?' could be a pointed knife for all i know!! #and if it is- and my actions still hurt her in that scenario- am i still responsible for the hurt caused?? #like WHERE DOES IT FUCKING E N D ? #personal #*exhales* okay i feel better now #i just hate talking about my interactions with her bc i just want NOTHING to do with it. i want her out of my head!! #but until i process it i can't let go #and i'm still going to have to go over all of this with my shrink tomorrow #it just makes me mad how much of my time this bitch takes up. i'm not getting paid to think about work right now!!!!

[daeluin]

i really don't wanna go all ☝🏾🤓 well acktually on tumblr of all places but i am begging you all... pick up a book. wikipedia is free. the ICC (the International Criminal Court) doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the UN. yes they're both in Hague. No, they're wildly different international organizations. You're thinking of the ICJ (the International Court of Justice), which is also in Hague. and no, the ICJ doesn't have jurisdiction to deal with these affairs

#like i get where the sentiment of asking the UN for accountability for Israel comes but a) that's not how the UN works #b) the issue should be with the Security Council and the US unilaterally vetoing any possible action #and c) THEY'RE NOT THE SAME. THE UN IS AN ORGANIZATION. THE ICC IS ANOTHER. THE ICJ IS A THIRD ONE. EACH HAS THEIR SPECIFIC ROLE!!! #like seriously it's not that hard to just google it #you're asking the US house of representatives why it wouldn't intervene on a criminal case in a federal court in Spain....... #and like ik ik i get petty bc this is my field of work but the insistent USamericans have in not learning how Int Law works drives up a wal #bc it just smells of american exceptionalism trying to believe themselves above the International community #like why would they care about it if it doesn't apply to them???? #you guys would never understand how even with all it's shortcomings and defects how important the UN and the ICC are on their own #degrading and ignoring these kind of international organizations accomplish nothing but assure the hegemony and lack of accountability #of the global north (specially the US)

[plushie-lovey]

Crying so hard I want the pumpkin kitty from BAB but I'm too chicken to go into my local store to see if they have it (having to go thru the heart ceremony specifically is what's making me anxious cause I've never actually gone thru the whole BAB experience before. And I don't wanna have to do goofy things in public by myself). I'm also struggling to justify spending $40 on a plushie this week

#this upcoming Friday is my birthday tho #but I have a bill due that's also coincidentally $40 #I supposed I could treat myself anyways. but still anxiety Dx #but what if I wait and they don't have it by Friday? like say they have it rn but they sell out by the 15th? #also I think I've mentioned it before but Im afraid people will think Im a hypocrite if I buy a BAB from a store #cause I said I was against supporting the company first hand and only buy second hand #but I know there's no way I could ever afford a pumpkin kitty second hand. scalpers are assuring that #so Im anxious about going to buy obe because of judgement. will people get mad at me #I don't plan on buying from BAB first hand often. hopefully this would be the only time (unless they bring back teal frog) #do you guys care? would you be ok with me getting a pumpkin kitty?? #Halloween is my favorite holiday I need her in my life #I cry #what should I do #viti shoosh