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#i can't believe it's not fanon
fangirleaconmigo · 10 months
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Geralt x Dandelion (Jaskier) in The Witcher books Masterpost
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I thought I would make a masterpost for my "I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon" (otherwise known as..."facts that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up but are, in fact, book canon") series.
I will add to this post, so rb it and keep an eye on it. I have at least one more big post coming up.
Geralt rescuing Dandelion from kidnappers (and slaughtering and threatening a bunch of people for him)
Geralt plays it cool, but secretly loves Dandelion's singing
Geralt and Dandelion Domesticity (sharing beds and clothing)
Geralt and Dandelion Domesticity (pooling money and Dandelion bullying racists)
Geralt is Dandelion's specialest boy (Dandelion defending Geralt)
Dandelion is Geralt's Most Important Damsel (Geralt defending Dandelion)
Geralt and Dandelion patching up each other's wounds
Geralt learning Dandelion's real name
Sweet quiet moment of Geralt asking Dandelion's advice (and Dandy begging him not to kill a dragon)
A doppler turns into Dandelion to protect itself from Geralt and it gets more interesting from there.
So the tag is I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon, and I also do a series called Canon or Fanon in response to asks. But since the tag system on tumblr isn't great, there are the biggies. Just thought I'd make it a little easier on you guys.
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ladycrimsonandblack · 11 months
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Whatever else can be said about this chapter, at least we will always have the fact that the popular fan theory about Sabo being an adopted D is one hundred percent true, and that his actual name is Sad.Bo.
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When I found out Ice Adolescence had been cancelled, my mum told me to just write a fanfic to cope with the loss and post it on ao3.
Why does my mother know what ao3 is and why is she telling me to post fan fiction on it??
I mean at least she's supportive?
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↑ live footage of my mum telling me to write Yuri On Ice fan fiction.
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thepringlesofblood · 2 months
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i need everyone in the dimension 20 fanbase to know: you can in fact get chungledown bim's full character sheet.
there lays hidden deep within the twisted catacombs of dropout.tv a single episode of "Dimension 20: Foundry" called "Making Chungledown Bim (with Lou Wilson)".
D20: Foundry is a series started during the pandemic which never quite took off, having only this one episode. while there are many obvious and much more likely reasons for this, personally I think it is because brennan knew it was the only way possible to trick lou into being an architect of his own demise.
in it, brennan and lou stat out Chungledown Bim [lou decides to take out the hyphen] as a 20th level warlock, complete with spells, invocations, feats, and more.
Some beautiful soul took his ability scores and a decent chunk of his information and put it on Chungledown Bim's page on the d20 wiki, but if ye be truly dedicated, transcribing his full character sheet would be possible from watching the episode, though as far as I can tell no soul has yet attempted such a feat.
I have not the time nor strength of character to accomplish such a task (which not even the heroic and dedicated scribes who work on the d20 wiki episode transcripts page have been able to do), but I put it out there to any of y'all that would be interested in such a thing: it is possible.
I would also highly recommend watching the episode, as it is what I can only describe as chaotic lawful. In the final 20 minutes of the episode, Lou DMs a short scene of Brennan playing Chungledown Bim with this new character sheet. I haven't watched that part yet - I have a gut feeling it will implant itself in my mind and be indelible for days to come, and I have a paper to write.
TL;DR if you are subscribed to dropout, you can find by searching 'chungledown bim' a video of brennan lee mulligan and lou wilson creating a full character sheet for chungledown bim. it's excellent. use this knowledge wisely.
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yuriyuruandyuraart · 9 months
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don't let your eyes wander
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araneitela · 12 days
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Me staring at test results: It makes so much sense for her, but if I don't specify or elaborate, then we end up with the fanon take. Ugh, how do I easily explain that if you look at the word 'sex' through a much more old-fashioned lens instead of the modern one, that you'll get a vastly different picture of it?
/takes angycat.png typing to my tags
#[ ooc. ] don't try to make it logical or edit your soul according to the fashion. rather; follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ post-it. ] in a way; you are poetry material. you are full of cloudy subtleties I am willing to spend a lifetime figuring out.#[ i'm so tired. i need to write a post on this or something. and somehow add it to my pinned. in some way. ]#[ 'sex' and 'seduction' are /not/ wrong in my opinion. HOWEVER-- they are /very wrong/ if we go by modern labels and perception. ]#[ god the horror of writing a muse that is so interlaced in a modern world; setting and culture but seems to /ooze/ something archaic. ]#[ this level of refinement isn't of our times in my opinion. these things that she loves aren't commonly loved nowadays. ]#[ there's so much about her that is old-fashioned to me and it's so in my face. and yet fanon doesn't see it. ]#[ i can't believe i'm an old millennial who's screaming boomer or older things. ]#[ but like can we acknowledge that sex in today's age isn't the same as it used to be? not /always/ but more generally so. ]#[ can we acknowledge that /seduction/ didn't always mean what people see it to mean now? ]#[ can we acknowledge that the FEMME FETALE TROPE HAS CHANGED /LEAGUES/ since the 2000s? ]#[ which is my biggest beef actually. and maybe all of my frustration plays into this most. it's that the femme fatale now is sexualized. ]#[ while that is /not/ what the femme fatale used to be. kafka plays into the old school femme fatale so well. film noir days. ]#[ i had this same struggle on yelan where they make VERY OBVIOUS draws to it by her music in her trailer. god; the jazz. ]#[ but kafka suffers from this so very much as well to a point where i don't dare to call her a femme fatale because then it's fanon. ]#[ the fanon i hate so much. ]#[ but just uuuughhhh. UGHHH. it's so much to explain. ]
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inhumansandwiches · 11 months
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oh, Kate...
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capricioussun · 5 days
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Will probably delete later but genuinely WHY do so many ppl hate uf papyrus. "He’s horrible and a bad brother and abusive >:(((" my guy. YOU made him that way
#always weirds me out when a really bad take becomes popular fanon and ppl treat it like it's an inherent universal take#happens to all characters I feel but it's esp frustrating when it's not just a bad take but just straight making a character a certain way#as a plot device. or to project ur own issues onto. at that point just. make an oc or smth. why mangle a character so severely. what is#the purpose#im not even going to TRY to pretend i have perfect ic flawless interps (I absolutely don't and know this)#but even w/ characters I have minimal interest in (like asgore for ex) it's important to me to at least *try* to keep them in line w/ their#og counterparts.#and you'd think. given how so many ppl infantilized Papyrus. that some of that would've bled thru into au counterparts#but nope. the fanon versions are practically just wholly different characters who just look similar and 'fill the same role' in their au#and it's honestly not like there's a shortage of other characters sans could have a toxic relationship with in uf#(bc let's be honest here that's 90% of the reason uf papyrus got characterized that way. for ppl to project onto and sympathize with sans)#I don't like having strong negative opinions on things and I especially don't like talking abt them publicly but idk if it's just weird#timing or smth I've seen so many bad takes the past couple weeks#to each their own and I'd never like. bash someone for having a diff take than me. I just don't...understand.#idk#I'm really tired and my eyes are sticky so I really shouldn't even be posting rn bc I will see this later and be like#can't BELIEVE that guy posted an opinion on the internet. WHY would he do that
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darkclouds-rainsounds · 9 months
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The above is a screenshot of one of tropes from Shadoo's section in the SPM TV Tropes page that caught my interest.
“Never mentioned to be killed...” Hm. If I go by my headcanon of how Dimentio fits into the story of the Pixl Uprising (i.e he's both the Magician's son and the surviving apprentice who defeated the Pixl Queen), then that would give another parallel of how Dimentio was once a hero who had a Pixl that could see the truth who stopped an antagonist who had the Dark Prognosticus who several thousand years later switched sides. And by another parallel, I mean it works perfectly alongside this.
The reason Shadoo exists (if they are the Pixl Queen) is because he couldn't go through with killing his sister; he cared for her too much and now here she is stuck at the bottom of the Flopside Pit of 100 Trials and wanting to exact revenge on the Ancients for sealing her away. Based on how Shadoo has a robotic text box and says that they were created by the Ancients, it can be presumed she forgot she was ever human. She forgot who she was.
Fast forward to the events of SPM and Dimentio's intended kill-shot for Count Bleck gets intercepted by Nastasia and knocks her unconscious in addition to injuring her. Either he had the power of that shot just enough to kill Bleck and no further and that's why Nastasia survived, because why waste precious energy? All he has to do is finish Count Bleck off who is already at death’s door thanks to the heroes.
Or Nastasia was just very fortunate to survive a full-powered blast. My money's on something like the former because Dimentio has well more than enough power to absolutely guarantee no one would survive an attack like that. (the average person who isn't a hero or built for combat— which Nastasia very much isn't— anyway.)
Then there's him saving O'Chunks and Mimi from what would have been certain death by teleporting them to Dimension D. We know they didn't end up in the same place as Peach and Bowser because neither they nor O'Chunks and Mimi make any mention of such. Pair that with the fact that the Void can't be seen from Dimension D and thus heavily implying that anyone inside it would survive the Void that would destroy everything else, and you're left with the only explanation of Dimentio having saved them. I do believe that Dimentio screwed up by not only "catching feelings" and he genuinely did care for the other minions deep down as much as he tries to deny that; and I have mentioned in a prior post about him putting all of the people who could have possibly done something about the Super Dimentio fusion in the same place.
If he hadn't cared as much as he did for them and just left them to their fates, he would have won. I feel that the reason why the floor came out under Bowser and O'Chunks is because of Dimentio— because why make a trap like that that is intended to kill any who don't make it out in time and then have it to where after a certain amount of time, it would give any of the heroes still inside who may somehow still be alive an escape and make a comeback? It makes no sense. And it's because of that, that Peach was able to survive by landing on top of Bowser.
Had he only teleported Bowser out and left O'Chunks, and teleported Peach while leaving Mimi, the minions wouldn't have been able to band together with Count Bleck and Tippi to recharge the Pure Hearts and destroy his invincibility. It was his inability to go through with killing them or just letting them die because he actually cared about them— cared too much— that caused his own undoing.
History literally repeats itself if one subscribes to believing Dimentio is both the Magician's son and the last surviving apprentice.
First Shadoo who may or may not be the Pixl Queen, was spared by her brother who couldn't bear to go through with killing her therefore causing future consequences for if she ever gets free. Then the minions— including Nastasia and Count Bleck who for the latter, Dimentio in his ever present wisdom decided to spare killing for later— with their love for each other that was allowed to continue existing all because he spared them for the time being, recharged the Pure Hearts and caused immediate consequences for himself and was the catalyst for his defeat.
In the first instance, he was on the “heroic” side. For the last he was on the “villainous” side.
#super paper mario#spm#spm theory#dimentio#shadoo#pixl queen#this is ofc just a theory since dimentio is an enigma but i see parallels and go 👀#and also ofc things like nastasia surviving dimentio's kill-shot is just my interpretation of how she did so#and then there's the (fairly popular?) fanon that dimentio teleported mimi and o'chunks to dimension d rather than them flip in on their ow#but we know that they couldn't have done so on their own— at least not o'chunks who is consistently shown to be incapable of flipping#and flipping seems to /only/ work on the person themself and can't be used on selected targets (if that makes sense). dimentio is special#bc he's the only character who is shown to always /teleport/‚ not flip. and we are explicitly shown a scene of him clearly using his#teleportation on peach (he uses his teleportation on mr. l and the other heroes when he explodes them but it's disguised by said#explosions due to how distinct it is and considering how for many years a vast majority of the spm fandom believes he /actually/ killed the#when jaydes herself literally says otherwise‚ those examples of him teleporting people other than himself doesn't count) anyway. point is:#even if mimi could flip in on her own‚ o'chunks wouldn't have been able to get in. probably. bc tippi /does/ show the ability to flip#both herself and the heroes to flipside on several occasions‚ but this ability isn't displayed by /anyone else/ throughout the game so#it's not farfetched to believe that /only/ tippi can flip other people in addition to herself#so i still firmly believe dimentio was responsible for mimi and o'chunks getting into dimension d at the end (plus it's /his/ dimension‚ i#think he has full control over whether someone can or can't enter it)#i did not mean to put an entire essay in the tags oh no
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tacticalgrandma · 1 year
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Looking in the Mel Medarda tag & seeing “Mel represents privilege & Piltover & [doesn’t actually say slut but] while Viktor represents Goodness & Virtue” takes & knowing I’m not going to be physically safe on this site when s2 comes out
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fangirleaconmigo · 1 year
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It's been awhile, Geralt x Jaskier enthusiasts, but here is your newest installment of...
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Otherwise known as...
Things that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up, but that are, in fact, book canon.
This time with commentary on the original Polish wording from @cherrypoison1889! Thanks, Cherry!
Today we're talking about dopplers, otherwise known as shape shifters, also called vexlings in the world of The Witcher. Dopplers are often used to expose the fact that Dandelion is a vulnerability for Geralt, that he loves him.
There are quite a few Geraskier fics that play with this trope. (I will give you a rec or two at the end of the post.)
It makes sense! Plus, the show used a doppler, (more on that later) so the concept is right there!
But does the concept of using a doppler to reveal Geralt's true feelings for Jaskier just exist in the fevered imagination of Geraskier fic writers?? Is this pure fanon? Or canon?
Well, you may have guessed (since I didn't write all this out for my health!)...
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It is canon.
In The Witcher book, Sword of Destiny, we meet a doppler called Dudu, who turns into Dandelion (Jaskier) to protect himself from Geralt. He even has a few choice words to say about what he sees in Geralt's thoughts.
Want the details? Of course you do, you've read this far, why not?
When Geralt meets Dudu in this story, the doppler is in the form of a halfling called Dainty Biberveldt. Dudu has bonked Dainty on the head, stolen his shit, taken his form, and is running around Novigrad making business deals with his ill gotten gains.
Dainty wants his shit back from the doppler, but does not want to turn Dudu over to the city guards because Dainty is a decent person who knows that they will murder the doppler in an absolutely horrific way that I will not describe to you. Novigrad is rife with violent bigotry towards non humans, and dopplers in particular have been slaughtered to near extinction. They've been subject to genocide, basically, just because they creep people out. (I could write a thesis just on the way this short story handles themes of racism)
But anywho. That's how we get Geralt's involvement. Geralt is pitching in to get Dudu under control so they don't have to involve bigoted law enforcement. (We stan Dainty ACAB Biberveldt in this house)
This particular scene opens when Geralt has pursued the doppler into a crowded marketplace and has finally cornered him in a tent. Dandelion is elsewhere in the market, being a slut, so he is nowhere to be seen. When Geralt corners Dudu, they are alone, and the doppler panics. He can't get away. So, he decides to be crafty.
First, he turns into Geralt as a way to protect himself. The book describes Dudu changing into Geralt, down to the last detail. Now there are two identical witchers in the tent. Then Dudu speaks.
"Don't come any closer," the second witcher said huskily and smiled. "Don't come any nearer, Geralt. I won't let you lay your hands on me."
So now he looks just like Geralt and has his husky voice. Perhaps he is hoping Geralt will not be able to harm someone who looks like himself. Perhaps he just wants to be equal to him physically.
Either way, Geralt's self esteem is too low for the first one to work. Here is how Geralt responds to an exact copy of himself.
"What a hideous smile I have," thought Geralt, reaching for his sword. "What a hideous face I have. And how hideously I squint? So is that what I look like? Damn."
So, Geralt reaches for his sword immediately, and the only reaction he has for himself is disgust.
Here is where I asked Cherry for her thoughts. Is Geralt as mean to himself in the original Polish? Hideous is pretty strong a word! Here is what she said:
Cherrypoison1889: Geralt is indeed very harsh on himself, when he sees the doppler transform into him. In Polish, he uses the word "paskudne" to describe himself, which is literally hideous. However, he also calls his face "gęba" which is a more vulgar word for face, which in Polish is "Twarz". So he's even harsher on himself, I'd say.
Oh noooo. But just when you think Geralt's low self esteem is going to be a strategic advantage, it betrays him. Why? Because when Dudu says, you can't defeat me, because I am you and I know everything you know...
"I am you," the doppler repeated. "you will not gain an advantage over me. You cannot defeat me, because I am you!"
That is where Geralt starts to lose ground. Why? Because Geralt of Rivia says, no, you can't really copy me! Because you are a good person, and I'm a bad bad bad man. I kill people. I'm a killer. You cannot relate. You cannot even begin to understand the mind of a bad evil killer man like me.
"No," the witcher countered, "you are not. And do you know why? Because you're a poor, little, good-natured doppler. A doppler who, after all, could have killed Biberveldt and buried his body in the undergrowth, by so doing gaining total safety and utter certainty that he would not be unmasked, ever, by anybody....But you didn't kill him...Because you're a poor, little, good-natured doppler, whose close friends call him Dudu...you only know how to copy what is good in us, because you don't understand the bad in us."
Geralt isn't saying this to be strategic. He truly believes it! He knows Dudu has seen his thoughts! Listen to what he says next...
"you aren't capable of defying me, because I am what you are unable of copying (sic). You are absolutely aware of this, Dudu. Because you took over my thoughts for a moment."
So, Geralt is like, you saw what a mess it was in there. You know what a killer I am. You may as well give up now.
I thought 'took over my thoughts' was a little bit of an awkward phrasing, it almost implies thought control, when I feel like the context is thought reading, so I asked Cherry about that. She said:
Cherrypoison1889: As for the "taking thoughts over" bit, it is the same in Polish, I am afraid. the word Sapko uses is "przejąć" which means exactly that, although I assume that the "take over" in English was meant to be understood as "acquiring" although I can't be sure of that. It sure does sound a touch awkward.
But back to the story, Tellico (Dudu) has now been inside Geralt's head. So he knows that's absolute bullshit, even if Geralt doesn't. He has seen what is in Geralt's heart, which prompts him to take another shape.
Tellico straightened up abruptly. His face's features, still those of the Witcher, blurred and spread out, and his white hair curled and began to darken.
"You're right, Geralt," he said indistinctly, because his lips had begun to change shape. "I took over your thoughts. Only briefly, but it was sufficient. Do you know what I'm going to do now?"
Do you? Do you dear reader, know what he's going to do now? I'm going to let you make a guess.
The leather witcher jacket took on a glossy, cornflower blue colour. The doppler smiled, straightened his plum bonnet with its egret's feather, and tightened the strap of the lute slung over his shoulder, the lute which had been a sword a moment ago.
Well, if you've read the books up to this point, we all know who's form he has taken. Cornflower blue, egret's feather, lute....smart doppler.
"I'll tell you what I"m going to do, Witcher," he said, with the rippling laughter characteristic of Dandelion. "I'll go on my way, squeeze my way into the crowd and change quietly into any old body, even a beggar. Because I prefer being a beggar in Novigrad to being a doppler in the wilds."
He then has a powerful monologue about being subject to extermination and genocide. About hunger and fear and freezing to death. He makes a very touching plea to Geralt, asking the Witcher why he is denied the right of survival, granted to everyone else, just because he is a doppler. It is about a page and half long and I HIGHLY recommend people read Sword of Destiny, because this is good shit. He says he will stay in Novigrad.
"As a resident of Novigrad, I'll trade, weave wicker baskets, beg or steal; as one of you I'll do what one of you usually does...."
The Witcher said nothing.
Now, Dudu, in Dandelion's shape, having seen Geralt's thoughts, takes his gamble. And boy does he have guts. He tells Geralt about himself, about his supposed bad bad heart.
"Yes, as I said," Tellico continued calmly. "I'm going. And you, Geralt, will not even try to stop me. Because I, Geralt, knew your thoughts for a moment. Including the ones you don't want to admit to, the ones you even hide from yourself. Because to stop me you'd have to kill me. And the thought of killing me in cold blood fills you with disgust doesn't it?
The Witcher said nothing.
Tellico adjusted the strap of his lute again, turned away and walked towards the exit. He walked confidently, but Geralt saw him hunch his neck and shoulders in expectation of the whistle of a sword blade. He put his sword in his scabbard. The doppler stopped in mid-step and looked around.
"Farewell", Geralt, he said. "Thank you."
"Farewell, Dudu," the Witcher replied. "Good luck."
Dudu wins that one, quite handily.
The doppler turned away and headed towards the crowded bazaar, with Dandelion's sprightly, cheerful, swinging gait. Like Dandelion, he swung his left arm vigorously, and just like Dandelion he grinned at the wenches as he passed them.
As he walks away, Dudu even plays the lute and sings "exactly like Dandelion". Then he shouts back advice for Geralt to pass on to the bard.
"Pass that on to Dandelion, if you remember," he called. "And tell him that Winter is a lousy title. The ballad should be called The Eternal Fire. Farewell, Witcher."
Dudu has seen Geralt's thoughts EVEN THE ONES HE WILL NOT ADMIT TO EVEN THE ONES HE HIDES FROM HIMSELF, and his next choice was to turn into Dandelion.
Now, do I think that the author meant to imply that Geralt is trying to hide his love of Dandelion? No. Slim chance of that. However, it isn't like it's a secret that Geralt hates killing creatures who do no harm or who cannot fight back. So there is still something a bit fuzzy to me about the thoughts that Geralt hides from himself.
It is ripe territory for a Geralt x Dandelion enjoyer to exploit, cultivate, and use for their fics and headcanons.
I asked Cherry for her thoughts about this, about what Geralt's hidden thoughts are having read the original Polish, and she said this:
Cherrypoison1889:
I feel like Dudu used Geralt's self-loathing against him, in a way. As in, if Geralt were to kill Dudu-as-Dandy, he would admit to himself that he is a ruthless, horrible person, who kills "intelligent" beings, despite what he claims, which would also make him a hypocrite. And we know Geralt is a big softie, so he wouldn't do it anyway. I think changing into Dandy was an additional precaution, just an extra measure in case Dudu turned out to be wrong.
I really liked this story, I don't remember reading it back when I read the books (it was ages ago, so I might be wrong anyway). It's really funny, and Geralt is babbie. Darling boy, he just bought himself a new jacket and it got ruined in the frenzy...
Babbie Geralt, that's our darling.
It is sad that Geralt has so much self loathing that it didn't help Dudu to look like him, but it is very sweet that Dandelion is such a point of vulnerability for Geralt, and that Dudu had his number.
Dudu wins this round soundly. The story isn't over. I won't spoil it in case you guys want to read it. But it has a great ending. It is definitely one of my favorites.
I will just never get over how easily he gets the upper hand on Geralt here. Geralt of Rivia, legendary monster hunter, defeated by little Dudu because of his low self worth, his mushy heart, his solidarity with non humans, and his love of a slutty bard.
Now, recommendations.
The Doppler Effect, by @a-kind-of-merry-war This is the first doppler fic I read in the fandom and it has alll the delicious emotional drama, pining, and sexiness that you want from a fic like this. It is excellent.
Images of You, by @pherryt This one is a delightful 'continuation' of what happens in Sword of Destiny. After Dudu learns about Geralt's feelings, he essentially matchmakes Geralt and Dandelion eventually receiving a sexy thank-you of his own.
Them, by @gilligangoodfellow I feel like dopplers and Dudu in particular is so ripe for exploration in fic. So it is wonderful to see a fic like this. It's a short character study of Dudu as gender fluid, with the doppler coming out to Zoltan. Seriously, try it.
Alright, thanks for reading, folks!
For more Geralt and Dandelion "I can't believe it's not fanon..."stay tuned. I am organizing a master post with all of the posts I've done. So keep your eyes out. (in the mean time, most of them seem to show up in the tag, just not all of them)
And lastly, THANK YOU CHERRY! I love having a partner to do these posts with!!
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witch-of-bears · 1 year
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The lack of self awareness of Grizznom shippers has always baffled me. Shippers that romanticize abuse and toxicity by denying it and sweeping it under the rug can already be unnerving enough but they go even beyond that. Like, they obviously don't care about Grizz at all. They just see him a tool to make Nom Nom happy because "he's sooo sad and lonely, he deserves it:(((". They don't care, otherwise it doesn't make sense to look at a guy that struggles with insecurity, bottles up negativity because he must be "the supportive one" and is still kind to jerks despite being uncomfortable and go "ah yes, I will ship him with the dude that constantly tries to use, belittle, humiliate him and was more than ok with getting him killed for a video, made the police hunt him down for a crab, and never tried to apologize to him and his family he also hurted, this ship is soooo healthy and wholesome💕💕💕"
[edit: read my self-reblog for follow up]
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backpackingspace · 1 year
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Okay but qui gon: doesn't let obi wan practice anything but the basic forms for years, has him doing translations in the library 80% of the time. Obi wan who was not that athletic to begin with. Who has to work so hard for any of his skills.
Qui gon: why is my padawan up out of breath when we've only been fighting for 5 minutes when I was his age!!!
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firendgold · 9 months
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If you're still doing the choose violence ask game: 2 (👀), 9, 10, 22 ?
I got such a rush from finally answering the first ask that I'm doing this for as long as people send me questions. So here we go again!
2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom
anon, I'm at work. I'm seeing this at work. :'D
Okay, serious face. Albus Dumbledore is probably my fave if I have to choose between him and Harry on this blog. I just have to figure out why he would never...
Bottom. Albus would never, I'm sorry. He won't. He can't. Like, maybe when he was having his whirlwind summer romance with Gellert, he bottomed every single time they fucked because he was so in love and this was his equal and his partner and so what if he was a little rough and distant sometimes in the bedroom, and always wanted to top and tug his hair and hiss out orders? This was The Man The Universe Had Crafted For Him, and he would absolutely bottom for him every time... and then the summer of 1899 ends. And Ariana dies. And Aberforth breaks Albus' nose. And Gellert fucks off to go be a fascist.
And Albus, alone and heartbroken, resolves to never trust someone that completely again, never love someone that same way, and never let anyone get into a position of power over him where they might be able to use his knowledge and talents for ill. That means physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically... carnally. So he has sex with plenty of other people, and even falls in love with a few of them, but he is in control at all times. He never bottoms again.
That's all I've got for that one.
9. worst part of canon
So the first answer that came to mind is posted here, but for fairness' sake I'll try to come up with another worst thing. (That's not related to ships, because I'm trying really hard not to be THAT violent on the violence ask game.)
I think... that if That Woman was going to introduce international schools, students and characters in the middle book of the series, she should have done more with them than having them vanish after Goblet of Fire, only to come back for either fake romantic tension and one line of exposition about the Hitler allegory Dark Lord of the Before-Times (Krum, Deathly Hallows) or to be married off to a Weasley for an aesop of It's Not About His Looks Now That They're Jacked Up (Fleur, Half-Blood Prince). I'm not saying Fleur and Viktor HAD to be best buddies forever with Harry, but it is weird that they have this unique bond that no other young students have had with each other in hundreds of years, they even lost one of their fellow champions, Dumbledore gives this very moving speech about remaining connected and not letting darkness and prejudice sever new ties, and then... nothing. No side adventures in France or wherever Durmstrang is, no communication from either side, nothing.
Feels like a huge letdown in hindsight.
10. worst part of fanon
Oh, no. That's not fair. There's just so many.
If I had to consolidate what I currently don't like about the HP fandom/fanon into a few lines, I think I would say that I hate the pureblood/Dark side apologism. I do believe in nuance in characters. I do believe redemption and/or walking different paths is an important theme in Harry Potter, and I think it's fascinating to explore that with any and every character you can think of, even characters I may not personally like. But I really, really hate the way the fandom has taken that and twisted it into this idea that we were sold a lie at the start: that the British magical government was fine the way it was, and so was the society around it; that Dark magic Isn't All That Bad, Really, and there are actually Good and non-prejudiced things about a few rich bitches passing down their knowledge and secrets and slurs for generations within the Family, and keeping the Family "Pure" is cool actually, and none of this has any relation to real life ideas about miscegenation and classism and racism and eugenics, what are you talking about?
It's just so worrying. As a minority, when I see people on tumblr/twitter/AO3 gleefully agreeing that we need to eat the rich and fix society and eradicate all the horrid -isms and -archys ruining all our lives, then watch them turn around and write a 200k epic where Dumbledore was the evil one for locking the Horcrux books away and championing marginalized members of society, Hermione is just uppity for wanting to make necessary changes to the darker parts of magical society that That Woman was literally pointing out for a reason, and Tom Riddle is only bad because he took the good segregationist pureblood ideas and added murder to them... and when that fic gets thousands of comments agreeing with them full stop with no examination of any of that... it makes me anxious, at a minimum. The same thing is happening now with Grindelwald now that he's actually a figure on the screen and not just some dude mentioned a few times in the book series: same apologism, same justification of atrocities, same good-guy-blame-games, same blorbofication even.
On the one hand... fiction doesn't always directly reflect or affect reality. On the other... this unironic pro-pureblood meta is a pervasive concept that has popped up in thousands of fics written by thousands of fanfic writers. It's happened for years, and it keeps happening, and I see very few fans speaking out against it or even acknowledging it as a problem. So that makes me ask myself, who actually is willing and able to examine the injustices of our society and build a better imaginary society through the lens of HP fanfiction, and who's okay with the prejudice in the HP world as long as it's coming from the faves they're attracted to?
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
Happily, this is a harder question to answer because I've been finding so many like minds in the past 5 years who go feral over the same 20 HP scenes as I do. ^^ But give me a sec, I'll think of something.
...
Okay. Got it.
In order to answer this question, I have to go back to the first time I, young teenager, avid reader, recent reader of the HP series once book 5 was out, realized that Harry and Dumbledore had a much deeper relationship than just headmaster and student. The thing that made me latch on to them and project like crazy, basically.
It's the scene in Goblet of Fire chapter 36 where Harry has been rescued from Fake Moody and he's in Dumbledore's office with Dumbledore and Sirius. Dumbledore asks Harry to relay everything that happened to him once he touched the Portkey in the maze—and immediately Sirius tries to protect Harry from having to relive it now, so soon after it's happened. And then this scene happens.
Dumbledore stopped talking. He sat down opposite Harry, behind his desk. He was looking at Harry, who avoided his eyes. Dumbledore was going to question him. He was going to make Harry relive everything. “I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry,” said Dumbledore. “We can leave that till morning, can’t we, Dumbledore?” said Sirius harshly. He had put a hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Let him have a sleep. Let him rest.” Harry felt a rush of gratitude toward Sirius, but Dumbledore took no notice of Sirius’s words. He leaned forward toward Harry. Very unwillingly, Harry raised his head and looked into those blue eyes. “If I thought I could help you,” Dumbledore said gently, “by putting you into an enchanted sleep and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what has happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you. I ask you to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you to tell us what happened.” The phoenix let out one soft, quavering note. It shivered in the air, and Harry felt as though a drop of hot liquid had slipped down his throat into his stomach, warming him, and strengthening him. He took a deep breath and began to tell them. As he spoke, visions of everything that had passed that night seemed to rise before his eyes; he saw the sparkling surface of the potion that had revived Voldemort; he saw the Death Eaters Apparating between the graves around them; he saw Cedric’s body, lying on the ground beside the cup. Once or twice, Sirius made a noise as though about to say something, his hand still tight on Harry’s shoulder, but Dumbledore raised his hand to stop him, and Harry was glad of this, because it was easier to keep going now he had started. It was even a relief; he felt almost as though something poisonous were being extracted from him. It was costing him every bit of determination he had to keep talking, yet he sensed that once he had finished, he would feel better.
This is one of the best scenes in the entire book, the entire series. It completely refutes the fanon Dumbledore who is often cold, cruel, inflexible and unrelenting in his quest for whatever the author wants him to be inflexible and cruel about at the time. It shows that Dumbledore, the real Albus Dumbledore, is one of the few people who understands what Harry needs and is able to provide it to him, even when others who also care for Harry would rather protect him or shield him from what he needs.
Kid me was particularly taken by how gentle Dumbledore is with Harry here. It made me look back and see how in some ways this scene, this closeness, is the culmination of all the times they've met and spoken before.
(You can imagine how painful it was reading Order of the Phoenix right after this.)
But yeah, that's probably one of my favorite scenes that other people ignore or haven't talked about/drawn/written about much. Which is ironic, because the scene right after that where Harry talks about Voldemort taking his blood and Dumbledore's eyes do the triumphant "lol Voldemort just fucked up" gleam is probably one of THE most talked-about scenes in the fandom (even though to this fucking day in 2023 people still don't realize what the gleam meant, when even That Woman has clarified what it meant in INTERVIEWS).
...And for me, safely at the end of the questions, that's all she wrote.
#fireandgoldposts#thanks for the ask!#choose violence ask game#Albus Dumbledore#not y'all making me put more gr*ndeld*re on this blog :') I forgive you tho#it's my own fault for having that headcanon. and to think I didn't think I'd be able to answer that question#I'm poking a real bear by finally talking about how much I hate the pureblood politics/pureblood supremacy/misunderstood bad guys trifecta#another thing that was perhaps interesting 20 years ago when people first started doing it but is now stale and infuriating#since it's now seen as fact and not fiction#the fiction of fiction even#I can't believe I didn't just write ''the worst part of fanon is every independent!Harry/manipulative!Dumbledore fanfic ever written#that's growth for me#oh god the worst part about no expanded roles for Fleur and Krum is that most fans only give Fleur an extended role#when they're SHIPPING HER WITH HARRY as some kind of ''ooh foreign beauty'' thing where he naturally resists her allure#and oh my god here comes the nausea again because flowerpot is another ship that's been done to death the very same way haphne/wolfstar has#and I love Krum/Hermione as much as the next person but fanon Krum is like NEVER allowed to move on from Hermione unless he's gay/bi#which is VERY rare to see. like please give me Harry/Krum fanfic recs if you have them#or Ron/Krum because that is so narratively satisfying#honorable mention for question 22 would probably go to the scene where Hermione and Ron try to get Harry to go to Dumbledore in year 5#after they find out what Umbridge is doing to him in detention and Harry just. CAN'T. properly explain why he doesn't want to go#but he's thinking about how Dumbledore has ''ignored him since last June'' and it's one of the few times we see him acknowledge that hurts#he mentions it several times throughout the book in his thoughts but that's one of the first times he refuses help from Albus#even though Albus would help him in a heartbeat oh my GOD it's been like 20 years since that book came out and I'm still feral about those#Goblet of Fire#Fleur Delacour#Viktor Krum#pureblood propaganda#and how much I am anti-that lmao#not fireandgold#oh my god having to reformat this every 3 hours because the bolds and italics won't stick is a fucking NIGHTMARE
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shopcat · 1 year
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i genuinely do take it so personally when people are against st/eddie Only because it's popular but will like every other god awful crackship rarepair bullshittery or just. every other couple possible basically like they would rather ship eddie and tommy h or soemthing IT DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYYYYYYY YOU ARE NOT COOL OR INDIVIDUAL U HAVE A COLD BLACK HEART like literally get over it i'm SORRY. they're so nothing they're literally so nonoffensive like i Get it i Get it but on the principle alone no i don't get it your soul is full of evil + happiness evades you
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bluejayblueskies · 2 years
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someone: haha so cool that [xyz] fandom universally decided to--
me: *immediately breaks out in hives*
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