#i can't believe its been like... what. 5? months already... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

certified-bi · 1 month

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Okay all my thoughts because some people have been saying that not supporting this change is not supporting artist and creators and as an artist fuck that.

1. Audiences owe you nothing. You have to convince them to engage with your creation not the other way around. This is something both the nonprofit theatre I work with recognizes and huge companies realize. It's just part of life. There are so many talented people in the world making amazing art, videos, music, writings, and on and on, and there's only so much time in the day. I'm not saying you shouldn't know your worth, just that being flippant about how little you care about those who can't pay isn't a good move. On that note...

2. PR is everything. If you haven't made a visible effort to push patreon, channel memberships or other avenues of making money, don't be suprised that your creation that was previously accessible to those without extra cash and to those who can't support foreign subscriptions due either to conversions or because it simply doesn't work, being made private isn't popular. There's a big leap from "We want to have more artistic control" to "We can't afford to make our content accessible to most of our audience," and people are smart enough to see this. You either have to make budget cuts or give into sponsors. This isn't unique to Watcher, it's part of literally every production from broadway, to Hollywood, to YouTube. Unless you can fund it yourself or get viewers to pay(which given how many are already strapped for cash...) that's life.

Not to mention they simply do not have enough followers to make the switch to a paid only site(dropping the first epsiode only on YouTube isn't going to draw people in, they're just going to say "oh why start if I'm not going to see the rest" and not watch) especially not one that is buggy and a security risk. Even if the switch had been supported its not going to end well. The only reason services like nebula and dropout work is because of the large amount of series and creators and the fact those creators still are partly on YouTube so new people are drawn in.

3. As for the price, 6 dollars a month is a not a good starting price for only their content and that's as someone who pays for nebula. I'd be paying the same amount for a fraction of the access to others work. Actually it'd be twice as much. And before someone says "it's only a coffee-" that's for you. Not everyone has your lifestyle. And with every other patreon and subscription service that says the same thing, it all adds up and I simply don't think 60 dollars for 48 videos a year on a subscription basis where you don't get to keep the videos if your situation changes, some of which don't appeal to every viewer is a good move. If you were able to buy physical copies of your favorite series they've made that'd be different, but that's not what this is.

4. I do believe that the employees deserve a livable wage. I also did not hire them. It is not on the viewers that they hired more people than they could afford to. They can charge that much if they want to to try and balance this out. They also shouldn't be suprised if not many can or will sign up. They also don't have to be based in L.A. L.A has ridiculous costs associated with it, and quite honestly it doesn't really add much to the content. I'm not saying they need to move to the middle of nowhere Kansas. Simply that living and basing your studio in a super expensive city and then being suprised money is tight is just weird.

5. Something that occurs to me is that they might get more views if their playlists were better set up. Only some series are given playlists. It'd be easier to find all of the series and binge them if they didn't just show off their more popular shows. Honestly the only draw the streaming site has to me is that the series are actually labeled well.

Do I think the weird ass energy towards Steven is necessary? No. He's not the only one at the company and they're all adults. I actually liked grocery run and homemade, and like to see them back. The parascoial attachment to Ryan and Shane is annoying in people's criticisms, but that doesn't make them completely wrong. If you're going to brand yourself as the anti capalist underdogs you can't get away with being dismissive of your poorer fans. The dissonance is what is causing this backlash and makes you look like hypocrites. I definitely think Steven is turning into the fall guy which is fucked up, his statement and the fact dish granted is one of those shows that make people uncomfortable about wealth flexs doesn't help matters.

#watcher #they really need a CEO who has business experience first and foremost or at the very least a consultant they actually listen to #they also should put more focus on other personalities and actual give them a chance to stick. none of them got famous or a fanbase in a day #give some of the others time to grab attention

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moonxytcn · 1 month

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Hii could you write a gluff/comfort billie x fem reader who is from europe (non english speaking/ dutch speaking but idk if you know dutch so its not that important) and they speak english but have a very obvious accent and is insecure abt it and struggles with pronounciation and like finding the right words and it gets really frustrating for reader? I know this is a very long request and if you don't like write things like this then dont feel bad or anything also i love your writing so much! <3

having an accent sucks

Billie Eilish x fem!reader

Summary – reader is insecure about her accent when speaking English.

warnings – fluffy, more cute content.

word count – 851.

a/n – hello, I hope this is what you wanted when you requested it, thank you very much for that by the way. and this comment about my writing made my heart warm, thank you anon <3

English is not my first language so there may be some errors.

This gif isn't mine, I found it on Google

–––

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a soft golden glow over the room where you were getting ready with Billie, you felt your anxiety growing with each passing second. In a few minutes, you would be heading out to meet Billie's friends, and it would be the first time you'd meet them. You couldn't help but feel nervous. You and Billie had been together for 5 months, having met her parents in the first 3 months of the relationship.

The reason for your nervousness? Simple, you were Dutch, and despite being in the United States for a while, it seemed like your accent had decided to stick with you, and it was very evident when you spoke. This had become an insecurity of yours since with the added accent, you ended up having difficulties with English pronunciation, stumbling over words and always desperately searching for the right one.

Finishing fixing your hair, all your mind could think about was whether Billie's friends would understand you, and if you would embarrass yourself with your awkward pronunciation. There were so many 'what ifs' running through your mind that you had to stop for a moment and catch your breath. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you began to unconsciously murmur words in English to practice pronunciation and avoid embarrassment, trying to imagine how it would sound to someone who had heard English all their life, fearing the judgment that could come, whether verbal or not.

Billie paused for a moment upon hearing a murmur coming from her girl beside her, glancing briefly at her through the mirror and seeing what she already imagined was happening. She always knew that you struggled a bit more than others to learn and speak English. And although she knew you didn't like how you sounded when you spoke, she always found your escaping accent absolutely adorable. She remembers it was the first thing that caught her attention when she heard you ordering coffee in line, she knows very well that's when she fell in love with you, it might as well be love at first sight, if you believe in that.

"Babe." Billie called softly, wrapping her arms around you from behind, looking at you through the mirror.

"Yes?" You answered softly, knowing you were caught and already knowing she knows what you were doing.

"You know you don't need to worry, right? They're my friends, they would never make fun of you if they know what's best for them. And even if they did, I'd be by your side and protect you. Always." She says, looking into your eyes with those beautiful ocean blue eyes.

"I know, I just— you know how diff-diff neuken!" You speak, already getting frustrated because you can't pronounce it right again. (neuken - fuck)

"Difficult?" Billie says softly, leaving a light kiss on your neck, you just nod, playing with her fingers that are on your belly. "I know. Believe me. But all I see whenever I hear you speak is how perfect your voice is and your accent just makes you more unique. Love, your accent is the cutest thing ever, I'm serious. Okay?" She says.

You nod, letting a small smile escape. "I think I'm ready to go. Just, promise me you'll stay by my side, always."

"I promise, darling. Always. You don't even need to ask me that." She says turning you and giving you a chaste and soft kiss on your soft lips.

–––

Arriving at the restaurant where Billie arranged to meet her friends, she parks the car and turns to you in the seat and grabs your hand giving it a squeeze to let you know she's here. "Ready?" She asks. You nod and take a deep breath seeing her get out and come to your side to open the door for you. Getting out you go straight into her arms and give her a tight hug, she hugs you with equal force knowing you need it.

"It will be alright, love. I love you." Billie says breaking from the hug and looking into your eyes holding your face with a softness that only she has.

"I love you, so much." You say giving a peck on her lips.

Entering the restaurant you soon find the table where her friends are. Approaching they soon see you. "Hey guys, this is my girlfriend Y/n." She introduces you.

"Hey everyone." You say already noticing your accent is very visible.

–––

Opening the door to the house together with Billie you can't wipe off the huge smile that's plastered on your face. When the door closes you jump into her arms and shower Billie with kisses while the last one becomes a slow and full of love, happiness and affection.

"I'm so happy! I didn't mess up any words today, did you see?" You say excitedly to her. While she can only look at you with adoration in her eyes, mirroring your smile and watching you ramble on about how good the night was, how much you liked her friends, and how happy you were for not messing up anything today.

"I'm proud of you, love." She says softly to you. Stopping your rambling upon hearing this, you look at her for a moment feeling tears of happiness wanting to spill. Closing the distance between you, you hope she understands everything you want to say to her at this moment.

"I love you Billie. God I love you so much, you're an angel in my life." You say softly against her lips, not wanting to separate yet you just grab her like a koala. And she understanding, takes you to the bedroom where she lies on the bed and hugs you as tightly as she can, whispering praises in your ear and saying how proud she is, and happy for you.

#moonxytcn requests #billie eilish #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish fic #billie eilish x you #billie eilish imagine #billie eilish fanfic #billie eilish x fem!reader #billie eilish x y/n #celebrity imagine #wlw #gxg #moonxytcn writes

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h8ani · 8 days

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Sasuke Uchiha x Reader

Word Count - 4k

Warnings - smut, angry sex, public sex, fear of getting caught, hair pulling, angst, slight paranoia, kinda non-canon structures (its been a long time since i watched naruto tbh so disregard the village not being exactly how the anime is), oral - male receiving, face fucking, gagging, degradation, penetrative sex, fem!reader, choking, reader is described to be wearing a dress in this chapter, there’s a voyeur

A/N - Just a reminder that if you have joined my taglist and change your username please let me know! If you haven't joined I put the link down below :) But holy hell you guys I can't believe I actually finished this after almost 5 months in my drafts, but I hope you enjoy it!

taglist! - @bloodsiren @blackfire2013 @benkeibear @suyacho @kodzukein

join my taglist → here

Part One → Part Two → Part Three → Part Four

It’s been a few days since the last time Sasuke was over. You’re used to the silence in between his visits; it’s become second nature to go days, even weeks, without seeing him, and the radio silence between each time he visits has become more common than the last.

It doesn’t bother you. It does. You could really care less. Sasuke has been the only thing that’s been on your mind. You absolutely hate him. You feel…conflicted.

Limbs tangled with one another, all you could hear were the heavy breaths that escaped both of your lips, your body rising and falling every time Sasuke took in a deep breath as you laid on top of him, his hands dancing along the skin of your back so featherlight it almost tickled.

Neither of you had uttered a word, just basking in the feeling of touching the other’s skin; the warmth radiating off each other’s body heat brought a sense of familiarity that you couldn’t quite pinpoint just why you felt most comfortable in his arms. You mentally shook the thought away; there was no need to focus on that. Your mind had already cleared up from the sex fog he had put you under and had started to race with a million different things that you wanted to bring up to him. Why did he do what he did? When was he going to leave again? He’s going to leave right away, don’t be stupid. When were you going to see him again? Why did he leave in the first place? You wanted to bring up so much, but you couldn’t brush off this feeling that something was about to happen, as if the rainstorm you were caught up in earlier today was a warning of a disaster brewing and about to happen.

“What’s wrong,” Sasuke spoke up, his words sounding more like a statement than a question. His eyes were trained on you, making your stomach involuntarily tighten with their intensity. He had been focusing on the multitude of expressions that had graced your face within the last minute; you were completely oblivious to his stare; somehow, he wanted to blame the sex for your lack of inattentiveness and not the fact that you may feel safe around him, no it couldn’t be that. Being distracted has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you being incompetent. Yeah, that’s it.

Your eyes met his, and before he knew it, your eyes lit up, a small smile appeared, and a simple shake of the head erased any form of contemplation he had previously seen. “Nothing.” You quickly say, “Just thinking.” Bullshit

“About what?” He interjects, his hands that were once dancing lightly across your back were now holding your hips, gripping ever so slightly.

“Just thinking, random thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”

“If it doesn’t matter, then you can tell me.”

Huffing a sigh, you stare back at him, his emotionless pools of black not letting you get a read on him, yours: uncertainty. “You won’t answer me even if I ask.”

He raises and sits up, causing you to reposition yourself in an upright position as well; your eyes stay trained on him as his stare hardens, almost as if what you just said offended him somehow. His eyes glance into yours as if he needs to be wary now. “I’m not answering anything about why I’m back in the village or why I left.” He blurts out quickly, a scoff following soon after. “You know you can’t say anything about seeing me. Don’t go blabbing about it to any of your little friends, or I won’t be coming back.” His stare solidifies as your jaw drops ever so slightly; the hardened look he’s giving you makes your chest tighten, and your body rises in temperature.

Sasuke sees your expression fall ever so slightly before you catch yourself and, in turn, sends the signature scowl he’s grown accustomed to back in his direction. Your eyes narrow while you sit up straighter, the discarded sheet on the bed now pulled tightly to your chest, and he curses at the way that made his stomach clench. He doesn’t care if you’re mad at him, but he can’t lie and say he didn’t want to ruin your two’s good momentum today. The sex was great, and he wanted to leave on what would be considered a good note for the both of you.

“I think you should go,” you say simply. You avert your glare and decide to stare at the wall instead, avoiding his eyes. “You know where the door is.” Ouch.

He rubs his face and sighs. “Look, you don’t get-”

“I don’t care, Sasuke. Like I said, it didn’t matter. So why don’t you just leave? I never saw you, and I’m not going to tell any of my “little friends.”

You sigh and throw the blankets off you, quickly grabbing your clothes and slamming your bathroom door shut.

Your throat tightened from the moment you got up, wanting to get away from him from the very moment he opened his stupid mouth. You take a slow, deep breath and let it out; the tightness in your throat drops to your stomach. Why would he even snap like that? What gives him the right to think he could speak like that to you? You miff another sigh out as the conflict in you bubbles up even more with the thoughts running rampant. How stupid could you be for thinking he actually could’ve been somewhat of a nice human being after today?

Your thoughts were quickly silenced by the sound of your front door opening and closing, the door shutting louder than necessary. Fucking asshole.

You shake your head to rid yourself of your thoughts as you look at yourself in the mirror, you fix your hair and check over your outfit in the mirror, quickly doing a little 360 in your mirror. Everyone had decided that tonight was a good night to hang out and have some drinks as no one had any missions for tomorrow, so there was no need to worry about any impending hangovers.

You changed into a nice dress that fell mid-thigh; it was form-fitting and casual enough that you didn’t overdress or underdress with it. You pulled your hair into a high ponytail and just enough makeup to cover any eye bags that were more prominent than usual, no less from your sleepless nights thinking about he-who-shall-not-be-named-or-thought-of. You looked yourself over in the mirror and smiled. You felt pretty tonight, and it was nice not constantly to be in work mode for once.

The stressors from work and the expectations you always got from everyone took a toll on your body more than you would have liked. You were expected to never make any mistakes and always be three steps ahead, and it was simply a lot. Was it fair? Probably not, but it was also what you got for being a perfectionist at such a young age. You gave everyone expectations where you could only rise instead of fall. If you fell, everyone would know, and you just couldn’t have that.

You leave your apartment and make your way down to meet your friends. The air had a slight chill to it as the sun was finally setting, but something along with the chill was bothering you. You couldn’t brush off the feeling that someone was watching you.

Your feet skid to a halt as you spin, eyes cascading along the rooftops of the buildings around you. Your breathing picks up as your heart begins beating, and you feel every thump as your anxiety spikes. You internally curse yourself for being so stupid as not to even bring a single shuriken with you. For god’s sake, you could’ve popped one in your purse just for safekeeping. The anxiety you feel is derived from being paranoid, and you have to remind yourself no one is watching you and that it’s just your own mind playing tricks on you. You take a deep breath as you hear a name call out to you; turning back around, you see Shikamaru and Choji waving you over. You speed walk over to them, swallowing down the feeling of someone’s eyes on you. Was Sasuke here again? You wouldn’t expect him to be over so soon after the fight you two had just days ago. He’s never over this soon after he leaves anyway. Usually, it takes weeks for him to come over, sometimes even months. Although his eyes being the ones you’ve felt had to have been it, there’s no other explanation.

The buzz of the alcohol was finally settling in; once you got inside, you decided you needed a tiny little shot to calm your nerves and anxieties, then another once all your friends arrived and wanted to take a group shot, and now here you are ordering your third. You’re a lightweight, no shock about that, and feeling a bit dazed as you stare at the shot of alcohol sitting in front of you. You’re so zoned out, not even realizing the presence of someone taking the seat next to you at the bar table.

“You look nice tonight.” A familiar voice catches your ear, and you turn, seeing Shikamaru next to you. A sudden rush of heat hits you as you stare back at him. “Oh, T-Thank you.” You stutter out and mentally smack yourself. You divert your attention back to your shot glass, suddenly remembering how intriguing it was just two seconds ago.

Suddenly, hearing the sound of glass scraping against the bar table, you look up and see a similar shot in Shikamaru’s hand. “Cheers?” He holds up his shot glass, waiting for you to do the same. A small chuckle leaves you as you hold yours up and clink your glass with his. “Cheers.”

You knock back the shot, grimacing over the familiar burn down your throat and the fuzzy feeling deep in your stomach. You sigh and slump back against your seat as you look at Shikamaru. “You look nice too, I think I forgot to compliment you back.”

He chuckles, “Thanks, I didn’t really know what to wear. I wanted to come in sweats and a hoodie, but Ino just about had a conniption when I mentioned that.”

“Oh, don’t lie, you didn’t even want to come to this.”

“And you did?”

“Well, you got me there, didn’t you?”

Laughter fills the air around you two as you continue to talk about past missions, the latest drama you’ve heard around the village, and even as mundane as the midnight snacks you two have had, you were actually…enjoying yourself; the thought of Sasuke had been dissipated like the rain that had come and gone from the prior days. Listening to Shikamaru talk was something you found yourself rather enjoying. Still, maybe that’s just the alcohol in your veins talking. Yeah, that was definitely it. “So, what’s new with you?” Shikamaru asks, his eyes finding yours, and the sudden tightness is once again back, whether that being because the only thing that seems to be ‘new’ in your life was Sasuke and every little defiling and obscene moment between you two replayed again in your head or because you actually might be liking the attention Shikamaru is giving you the world will never know.

“Ah, you know. Lots of training, lots of missions, lots of-”

“Staying in your apartment all day and night?”

You quirk an eyebrow up at him, lips slowly following suit. “Shikamaru Nara, are you stalking me?” An indiscernible giggle leaves your lips, which shocks not only you but also him. You can see the pink rising to his cheeks at your minor faux accusation; his eyes widen, and his hands immediately come up to defend himself. “No, I just hear Ino constantly nagging at me to hang out with her, that’s how I know. I don’t stand out of your window or anything like that. Do you know how much time and energy that takes? Do you know-”

“Shikamaru?”

“What?”

“I was joking.”

“Oh.”

“You know, for someone with an IQ higher than a tree, you’re kinda dumb.”

“You know what…Shut up.”

The air around you as you step outside drops a few degrees, causing you to shiver despite the multiple shots you had earlier. Glancing around, you notice how barren the pathways are and how barren the town seems. You glance back over your shoulder to see that Shikamaru is already on his way with his teammates, all drunk themselves, as you see them stumbling against each other.

Your apartment isn’t far from where you are, so you, in turn, make your way down the path. Bad idea. The more you walk, the more you regret that last shot you took and every single life choice you seem to have made tonight because the line you had been walking in had slowly turned into a wave, making you plant your hand on the building beside you. “Just a little more, and I’m almost home.” You blow out a sigh before taking another step forward. Looking up, your body freezes as you see a rock fly past you and fall to the floor to your right. Your senses come to realize that someone is near as you stare at the rock. The alcohol has slowed your reflexes because you’re yanked backward, a scream bubbling up in your throat. Still, before you can release it, a hand is clasped over your mouth, and you get dragged in between the two buildings down the small alleyway.

You begin kicking back and screaming into the hand, fighting as you’re dragged back further into the small space between the two buildings, your front pressed against the wall and the chills finding their way back up your spine once you hear his voice. “How stupid could you be?” His voice is loud in your ear, hand still firm against your mouth, not allowing you to utter a word. “Walking home drunk is one thing, but what the fuck are you wearing?” He seethes. Your dress is already riding up higher on your thighs, just below your ass, due to being pressed between the wall and the man himself. It took all of one big gust of wind to blow it up or one perverted old man to ‘drop’ something of his to catch a look up your dress. The anger that welled up in his chest was undeniable as he pushed off of you and spun you around to slam you harder into the wall itself. Your eyes caught him scanning over you; his already dark eyes seemed even darker tonight. The dress you wore hugged every inch of you perfectly, and it drove him madder seeing it hiked up higher than intended, all thanks to him. One more inch, and he could see the little lace thong he knew you were wearing. He finds your eyes and tsks at the dumbfounded look you gave him; just how stupid were you?

“Sasuke-”

“Shut up and get on your knees.” He cuts you off, hands gripping your arms and tugging you down until you plop down on your knees. The dirt underneath you digs uncomfortably into your skin. You look up, pupils dilated as you stare up at the ravenette. “Unless you want us to be caught, I suggest you not utter a single noise.” Without warning, Sasuke pushes two fingers past your lips and into your mouth, pumping the digits like they were his cock until they were soaked with your own spit. “I suggest you act right, given your circumstances.” He speaks, and your eyes narrow up at him; the urge to clamp your teeth on his fingers threatens to come to fruition, but you can’t ignore the subtle throb in between your legs. “Suck.” He says while pushing his fingers deeper and tugging his pants down with his other hand, pulling down the material along with his underwear, allowing his cock to spring out. You could feel yourself salivate just looking at him, wanting to trade his fingers for his cock against your better judgment. He presses his fingers down harder against your tongue, causing you to gag and choke on saliva; you can hear the snicker that comes from him as he watches you trying to quieten your coughing spout.

His hand threads into your hair, messing up your almost perfect ponytail, the grip burning your scalp as he pulls you forward, knees dragging against the ground while the tip of his cock presses against your wet lips, his precum smearing across them in an almost erotic way that Sasuke doesn’t think he could last by just looking at you.

You drop your jaw open while he pushes his cock past your lips, enveloping himself in the warmth that is your mouth. The grip on your hair grants you nothing but pain as his hips begin to move to their own rhythm, his cock hitting farther back than the last thrust. You try your best to breathe through your nose as he fucks your face to his liking; maybe if your mind weren’t so focused on Sasuke being here, cock down your throat and his eyes watching you so meticulously, you’d have the nerve to push back, make him slow down, maybe even explain why he knew you were out with your friends in the first place and not at home.

Tugging you even tighter, Sasuke pushes your head until your nose is brushing against his stomach; your throat tightens as he effectively pushes each inch into your throat. “You feel me? Do you think that Shikamaru could ever stretch your throat out like I do? He might as well try something with you seeing how fucking drunk you were tonight.” His hips rock forward until his dick hits further back into your throat. You choke around him, drool effectually spilling past your lips and down your chin.

Eyes squeezing shut, you sputter another cough, which turns into a gag around his length. A disapproving noise is heard from him as he pulls away, allowing you to take in deep breaths. As you open your eyes, you see him crouched down in front of you, a look one can only describe as displeasure. “How stupid could you be?” he says, slightly shaking his head before he speaks again. You’re supposed to be better than them.”

“Better than-”

Crack!

“Naruto! You idiot!” You gasp as you hear the rest of your friends walking down and getting closer to the alleyway you were in. They must’ve just now left the bar you all were at; this isn’t good; you need to leave; they can’t see you like this. You pull farther away from Sasuke as you see them pass the opening between the two buildings, all of them stumbling and unknowingly passing you as they walk.

Another tsk leaves his mouth as he shoves you forward; you catch yourself on your hands while grimacing at the sting that travels through the skin of your knees. You feel his hands positioning himself behind you, all while pushing your dress up to your hips and pulling your thong to the side. Suddenly feeling every bit of alcohol drain from your system, you become hyper-aware of what is really happening; you jolt forward, and before you can spin around to ask him what he thinks he’s doing, you’re yanked back by your hair, back arching to the point where you’re staring straight into his eyes. “Make sure to be quiet, or else everyone is going to see how much you love taking my cock.” A deep chuckle vibrates through him. “What would they think when seeing you on all fours in an alley? Perfect little (y/n) crying from how good my cock makes her feel; how would you ever live that down? You think Shikamaru would ever give you the slightest bit of attention after that?”

Letting go of your hair, a knee between your thighs pushed them further apart while you balanced yourself on your hands. The itching feeling that someone could see or be watching from a distance burns brighter than the pain in your knees. The swollen tip of his cock prods your already glistening entrance; you bite down on your lip to stop any form of a whine from slipping out. You swallow down the nerves as his hand leaves your hair to slip around your throat; the silent plea that he wouldn’t make this difficult left the moment his hips slammed into yours, his hand tightening on your throat, restraining the scream that threatened to bubble out. He gave you no time to adjust, his hand leaving your throat and falling to your waist, fingers digging into your flesh so tight as he slammed into you that you knew bruises would be there by morning.

You can’t help but glance up, fearing that any of your friends could leave the bar at any time and pass by, seeing you in the most compromising position you feel like you’ve been in. The subtle feeling that there’s a pair of eyes on the two of you grows larger while you scan around. No one has passed by the entrance, and this feeling could only be explained by you being scared of getting caught.

Sasuke’s breathy grunts found your ears, and a pang of alarm shot right through you as he was the one making noise. The subtle sound of skin slapping skin makes you even more fearful. The coil in your stomach is already winding tight; the quieter you have to become, the more your pussy grips him. You clench around him, pussy squeezing for dear life. Your nails dig into the ground beneath you, knuckles turning white.

“Oh, God…” You pant, dropping your head down between your shoulders. The sounds of everyone’s voices can be heard in the distance, and you try desperately to focus on anything other than the impending orgasm that’s slowly building up.

Sasuke shifts, bringing his hand in between your legs and fingers quickly to find your clit, rubbing quick little circles. You bite down hard on your lip, the silvery taste of metallic dancing on your tongue from allowing the moan that threatened to escape. No, You won’t give him the satisfaction of making you cum, especially this fast. You grab his hand to stop his fingers and feel his hand that was once placed on your waist slide across your skin and reach back up to your throat, drawing your back flush to his chest, knees digging deeper into the gravel on the ground and seemingly reaching deeper within you, a desperate whine left your lips as your eyes faintly rolled back. “Stop me from making you cum, and I swear to god, you’re going to regret it.” He growls while tightening his grip on your throat and bringing his other hand back to your clit. His hips snapped into you even deeper while he assaulted your clit. You struggle to gasp as the coil in you snaps; your body shakes as you lean back into him more, pushing him even deeper that you swear you see stars. You spasmed as you dug your nails into the hand that held your throat while he continued to pound into you.

He was chasing his own release, and the way he felt like you two would be caught at any moment spurred him on even more. He knew tonight was a lot, even on his standards of fucking you, but the way your pussy was fluttering around him, the deeper he got, and the rougher he became, he couldn’t stop. Your walls clenched around him, climax dragging out as your pleasure was heightened as he fucked into you; your name tumbled off of his lips before he bit into your shoulder, muffling the sinful moan he released as he came. You both fell forward, barely catching yourselves before hitting the ground, with heavy breaths syncing with one another while you catch your wit on what you two just did.

The feeling of someone watching you never did go away.

The angry pair of eyes attached to the redhead at the back end of the alleyway never left you two, either.

network: @enchantedforest-network

#i hate you #i hate you part 4 #sasuke x reader #sasuke x you #sasuke x y/n #sasuke uchiha #sasuke #sasuke uchiha x reader #sasuke uchiha x you #sasuke uchiha x y/n #sasuke x fem! reader #sasuke x female reader #sasuke uchiha x fem! reader #sasuke uchiha x female reader #sasuke smut #sasuke uchiha smut #benkeibear made both minors dni and support banners #enchantedforest-net

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girlunknownsblog · 1 year

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What would it be like if you told him you were pregnant ?

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

Eren Jäeger : Eren didn't want kids, when you told him the news he was so shocked he had to sit down. He's also not an asshole like some might think he'd be gone but not at all.

- No no no don't cry my darling, it will be fine we will raise him or her together.

Armin Arlet : Armin wanted to wait until you were married before attempting a baby. He always wanted to have a child with you since the first day he saw you in the bookstore.

- It's true ?! Tell me it's true YN! Oh my god I'm gonna be a dad. And of course you're gonna be a mom.

(Its Erwin but you didn't see anything ok?)

Jean Kirschtein : Jean is I think the one who wants the most children. He wants a very big family with you, 5 or 6 children that would be good. So when you told him you were expecting his child he almost died.

- *sob* Oh my god YN. *sob* Are you serious *sob* I can't believe it's working, It's the most beautiful day of my life YN. *sob on your chest* thank you, thank you, thank you.

Levi Ackerman : Wow. We all know that this man has a soft spot for children. Even if he says that in such a world it's a waste of time. You are the woman of his life, and suddenly the future mother of these children. He cried (don't tell anyone...)

- Oh my god YN you make me so happy, we are going to have a child soon.

- You have to wait roughly 8 months before the birth.

- Too long already.

Erwin Smith : Erwin also had no plans to have children. But over time he started to resent them and who better than you to wear them and become their mom (say like that it's strange) when you tell him he was in heaven. Really. He was almost crying of Joy.

- We've been waiting for this YN child for so long! Thank you so so much my love.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

All the pictures are from Pinterest ofc.

Little lack of inspiration but it comes back guys dont worry.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱

#levi ackerman x reader #aot x reader #armin arlert x reader #aot boys #attack on titan #zeke jaeger x reader #erwin smith x reader #eren jaeger x reader #snk x reader #connie springer x reader #reiner braun x reader #bertolt hoover x reader #snk boys #snk

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mecachrome · 2 months

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omg k i just saw ur top 3 landoscar moments post from october 2023... any changes/updates since then? new moments made it onto the list? or if not... favorite moment of 2024 so far? (i just like hearing (reading?) ur thoughts it's like reading an intellectual (but still sappy in my fave way) bedtime story 🥰)

hklsdfhlsfhd naurrr... this is so embarrassing why am i still deeply landoscarpilled 6 months later 😔

but honestly i have been thinking about this and the sheer volume of crasyinsane material and lore we've accrued since last year because now i'm like how would you even begin constructing a top 3....... the possibilities are endless!!!

in terms of pre-october content that i might have missed before, i'd say most of this ask still holds (lando's biggest fan dot mp4 will NEVER lose its insanity to me. quintessential landoscar meta as far as i'm concerned) but now i also desperately need 2 shout out portrait painting challenge...... when it came out i was of course susceptible to the "you look beautiful" bantz though mostly just wrote it off as shipbait and since then i've looked back on this video multiple times and been like ?! why was oscar's deference to lando so insane actually.... i've alr mentioned this b4 but 1) oscar taking lando's intro in stride and immediately responding i am ready lando norris 2) oscar playfully acquiescing and letting lando use purple after he'd already chosen it 3) >like 5 seconds later. "you like purple don't you?" "uhhhh... i can do now" (who says that.) 4) another stunning display of lando Nooticing and fixating on oscar's hair swoop and last but not least 5) the way oscar FOLDS OVER and giggles helplessly when lando tells him i've just done you all pink ??? like. OKAY. cheers

looking @ recent content..... personally i find 814 so fascinating because while there are many Discrete Moments i can point out that make my brain explode i also feel like to some degree the reason we (? or maybe just me. again i apologize for the nonsensical drivel i create) love to make parallel gifsets of them is because they have such an understated dynamic built off many minute unspoken habits and wordless exchanges and essentially Patterns so there is less of like... a need for spontaneous intimacy.... if that makes sense. it's about the consistency of reciprocal comfort... iterations..... palisades palisades......... ok this is totally not related to the ask i've just been rotating it in my mind

anyway 10 personable favs !!! arranged chronologically

finish the lyrics (oct 2023): a deeply obvious one but you can't Not include it 😩 i can't believe this came out a week after i answered that because seriously what da hell. @ OSCAR PIASTRI WHAT IS WRONG WITH YEWWWWWWWW. there are sooooo many things i could mention here that i feel have already been exhaustively expounded, the most obvious of course being the classic ojp Heart Eyes moment(s) (Many such cases......but also specifically the love story one) (like i'd argue silverstone was mostly responsible for getting 814 off the ground BUT this video was when their dynamic became the most "mainstream" and accessible to fandom as a whole... the amount of non-f1 fans i saw qrting reups of that clip!!!!) anyway but then you also get 👉 whatever the inside joke they have about old town road is. oscar saying "i reckon you'd be unreal in a karaoke bar in japan" which i still think is such a Line... just me ??? the way he verryryryyyy softly sings "yes" with lando at the end of their love story karaoke and the insane camera angle of him just out of focus. like. really in general there is just such a soft and lighthearted and Fun air to their dynamic in this video that makes me ;__; AND this is another prime moment of lando narrating oscar's firsts for him (singing on camera at mcl!!!) . ALSAURR lando tapping oscar on the bicep while sarcastically complimenting him. once again for two guys who never touch it compels me... actually i could go on about this video tbh like how oscar nearly falls off the couch giggling at lando playing the songs together and then it cuts to the next one and he's suddenly all flushed and his bangs have gotten all fucked up. he's so... they're so... let's move on.

splunk sim city challenge (nov 2023): many classic lines such as "i haven't even distracted you yet!" + oscar knowing his podium year and lando saying "you're a nerd!" + lando going ":) :o are you okay?" and so on... general setup of this challenge was crasy tbh. how it revolves around disrupting the other person's focus and the visual asymmetry of one being sat higher and having to lean over to distract them and how oscar just giggles goodnaturedly when lando sticks his cue cards in front of his face instead of getting annoyed and—SO ON. also forever obsessed with how oscar wordlessly lifts his eyebrows at lando at the end lol

that one sticker video (nov 2023): this video is insaaAAANEEEE to me. ANYONE ELSE??? first of all oscar and lando gingerly standing across each other on either side of the flower bed (while zak brown assumes a power stance directly on it lmfao) is already so visually overwhelming but then the way oscar glances up as he's removing the sticker from the cap, how you can seeeeee him calculating the move the entire time and being adorably pleased about it, @__@ the way lando grins at him afterward... (also crying at zb glancing at them and being equally charmed by their antics) wahhh TT__TT the vibes of this clip... immaculate

oscar thanking lando in their final post-race message (nov 2023): honestly the entire message in general but :__) one of my fav 814 moments OAT is oscar including lando in his thank you speech and lando not really expecting it and being genuinely touched by the gesture. lando is so endearingly fidgety the entire time honestly and the way he perks up a bit and wrings his hands together and playfully smiles at oscar when he mentions him... okayyy. anyway 2 me it's reminiscent of yes/no challenge "am i the funniest teammate you've ever had?" "(shyly) yeahhh... you're up there" (said in the same baby-ish voice as "so... lando?" UGH. UGHHHH) and how lando genuinely gets a bit awkwardly flustered by it like!!! god. wait ALSO i don't have the space for this so i'm throwing in end of season awards MMMM debatable + how gleefully lando threw oscar under the bus and in general just the incredible expression work going on for both of them during this exchange. God [2]

si rapid fire questions (dec 2023): this video was crucial in determining that oscar... well. is obsessed with accommodating and mirroring lando. many things we already knew (aka listening to whatever music lando listens to; insert prema lap "maybe i should move to an english team because the music's better" moment here) but equally important is oscar "stealing" lando's dinner, how lando presses him on the back to the future question until oscar just changes his answer to his, and of course as you know per my blog title NO I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU HAPPY is in my eyes top 5 most insane things oscar piastri has ever said. likeee... lando showing a bit of jokey remorse over enforcing his rules (don't even get me started about lando and game/challenge rules...) but oscar being sooo determined 2 honor his teasing 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 :melting_face: x100!!!

need to split this into two lists because apparently there's a div character limit 😔 continuing on

hilton spa ad (feb 2024): of course this pained me because of This Moment (specifically lando bringing his hand back down when oscar tried to lift it from beneath him 😮‍💨) but that is neither here nor there. obsessed with the salmon at the engineering table anecdote because the most logical explanation for oscar Not doing that anymore is because lando didn't like it... or he just eats different things now but we already know that he's adopted lando's preferred meal b4 so that's equally a lot 2 digest !!! also >the callback to their one million LOOK AT YOU/HIM moments >how they touch shoulders exactly Once when they sit down and then never again despite lando continuously leaning into oscar's space to get to the button... eugh. also just top tier oscar faces + hair 🥰

opening title behind the scenes (mar 2024): thinking about all the hilarious gifsets of this moment that i ate up deliciously 🧡🧡🧡 this was such a significant reminder of how 814 have just gotten like, exceedingly comfortable around each other & have learned 2 communicate via the most inscrutable expressions and noises and gestures that somehow suit Them perfectly x__x although i doubt they will ever really become ~effusive~ with each it's frankly even more devastating that they both help each other care less about maintaining appearances / how they often get so sucked into their interactions (see next bullet point) that everything else kind of just fades away in that instant.... all right ⚠️⚠️⚠️ maybe that's a bit of a stretch but we can pretend for the rpf lens!!! see also my tag spiel in this beautiful tuva gifset.

photo day antics (mar 2024): do you ever just...... what went on in bahrain. honestly. more from this weekend in a second but this video plus the accompanying photo encapsulate their dynamic so perfectly it makes me scream... how 814 are not only so annoyingly focused on each other all the time but also stand SOOO UNNECESSARILY CLOSE while every other teammate pairing is spaced out normally. yuki and checo glancing at them alksfdhdf 😭 truly so ridiculous that the poor photo person tried to get lando's attention and they pretended to comply for two seconds before oscar was lifting his foot to show lando his boot again. also why did it take oscar a million years to step away from lando and put a more appropriate amount of space between them...?! and even then it was barely that much........... (10 paragraphs of speaking later) I prefer really not to speak.

accidental waist grab (mar 2024): this gave me psychic damage so bad i should be lobotomized. we've already spoken about this perhaps erm excessively but why did lando feel the need to stand JUST as close to him if not closer after they broke apart. there was truly no need...... honestly the way this ship will have us looking up driver cams and staring at esteban ocon's ass as he gets out his car just for a single glimpse of their parc fermé dynamic.

bahrain post-race interview antics (mar 2024): You already knowwwww. the sky sports "he follows me everywhere" moment is equally important but the f1tv interview giving us horrifically natural banter (juxtaposing this with their previous interview moments...), lando's dumb faux australian accent and oscar playing along as always, and most of all them HIJACKING THE INTERVIEW & commiserating on camera together ❓❗️ lichrally the grid photo all over again. often when i have emotions over an 814 moment i worry that i sound overly He_Only_Got_Two_Eyes.jpeg but truly sometimes two people are just objectively insane. plus land of piastri/lando piastri.....

also runner up is the f1tv interview with lawrence aka lando's cooing noise @ oscar discussing lily (anyone else frame by frame color pick oscar's face to see how badly he flushed... no? just me?) + the beautiful self-aware surfacing of the CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATIONS of their relationship...... !!! love when 2 guys expose and confirm their own sincerity in trying to verbally resist it. hem

is this anything. sorry eve LKSFDHLDHSF thank u for the ask & pls lmk what ur fav moments are too 🧡

#ask #i need to stop answering asks like this. sorry

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sea-of-dust · 7 months

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WHHHAAAAAAAAA

Lyney,Venti,Hu Tao x Gn! Reader

summary: imagine getting spooked on Halloween and then they get spooked by a nightmare.

Notes: lyney...LYNEYYYYYY, I got my ass kicked by @nian-7 for an event. Don't question it please it's a horrible story. Modern au

Hehe~ FYM HEHE. The amount of TIMES this man has scared the hell out of u during October. Magic tricks, flying shopping lists you name it he's scared you with it.

He adores you don't get him wrong, but it's fun seeing your scared expression, watching you cover your face and quiver its cute! But he does wonder if you do get infuriated

You can tell when he thinks this, only three or two scares on days he doubts, 5 or 4 when he's feeling cheeky, and one because he's either planning a bigger scare that may cause you to verbally scream, or if he just wanted to give you a break.

You can't really get back at him for his antics he just smiles. "My such a small spider for someone as delicate as you to hold" he takes it and kisses your cheek. You tried every scare you knew on him only for him to just turn it into a flirtatious move.

And so your final scare...one you didn't even think would scare him. You got out of bed to get some water stumbling out while he twists and turns in bed searching for you with his eyes closed, when he tries to find you and fails his eyes shoot open. You lean down to get some water hearing heavy steps toward you, stoppping suddenly you notice his distressed face when as soon as he lays his eyes on you he nearly tackles you, not saying a word yet trying to hold back his sniffles. "You alright?" You hug him softly but he hugs you tighter.

Trying not to show you his face he burries it into your chest. "Lyney?" You wrap your arms around his waist bringing him closer, hearing him take a few small breaths before looking up at you as if that never happened. "Ah my darling y/n! I guarantee nothing is-" "bull" you point at his cheek "your make-ups a bit smudged" rubbing it a bit watching it smear "must have been a nightmare, lemme help you fix it"

You help him wipe off his make up watching him avoid eye contact a few times. "What was it about?" sighing you scoot closer cupping his cheeks, he doesn't answer looking down a few times. "And why do you wear make-up while you- that isn't important whatever it was im sure youll feel better after you sleep" as soon as you finish the small tear drop and put down the brush he mearly tackles you. "Thank you..."

He's gonna make you wanna rethink your life decisions. "Hey y/n wanna know what month it is" "God please just get him away from me" "hehe"

He likes smaller scares only small kisses or random taps sometimes a whisper behind your ear.

The worst he will use the wind to blow at your ear, and then you turn around and see he's not there only to pop up upfront of you.

Best part for him? He always gets to show affection while bullying you. His two favorite things ever

His favorite activity during this time is dragging you to Haunted houses. "AHHHHHH Y/N ITS SO SCARY LETS LEAVE!!" "We already paid" "BUT THE GHOST IS SO REAL LOOKING AAAA" "you can litterally see the paint chipping" "PROTECT MEEEEEE" you have to give him piggy back rides out still not believing he's scared of a little wooden cut out, atleast he got cuddled by you at home saying something along the lines of "I'll cover your eyes next time don't worry".

Fun fact he "totally" wasn't he had diluc vogue for him horribly. "He just wanted to have an excuse to hug you" "with the way he yelps? That guy's got a problem" "yea..." flawless convincing

He wakes up in the middle of the night because he had a bad dream. Definitely hugs the life outta you. Sometimes they aren't even that scary but he still hugs you he just looks for any excuse for a cuddle

If you ever scared him you might be able to get him to cry. Of course you don't push him to that point unless he deserves it for thinking hiding a realistic spider sticker in the bathroom is funny but that's another story there's always a simple "scary figure in the dark!" Tatic. He's always fallen for it and will get behind you seeing it

The worst scare however will always be...DIONA?? he sees her in his nightmares. Just thinking of sneezing so uncontrollably infront of you, he knows you knew about his allergy but he's just scared of embrassing himself just because of a cat bartender. He already sees her flexing her ability to bring him to his knees trying to show why you shouldn't be like him

Only time he screams when waking up and the only time he dosent cuddle you after a nightmare. He practically shakes you awake about it. "I know there's a bit of cat hair on me" "really?" "No I just wanted you to get so scared you fainted please go to bed" you grab his arm pulling him down "it'll be fine I'll be sure to keep cats away" toying with him a bit pulling him closer. "Please let's just sleep" he hugs you back suddenly softly falling asleep after

COME HERE!!! she's using that ghost to torture you into staying by her side even more during this time of jumpscarin people.

This is like free ads "what if we use this time to promote the coffins as decor?" "Wouldn't that result in backlash?" "Not if they're of lower quality" she's definitely putting them on sale

She loves this time of year so much she is more into making you shop with her and then scaring you.

Not only with her ghost but also with locations she walks with you to. "It's once said people have come here only to not make it out the other side!" "They're right there tho" you point at the line exiting next to you. "Shush lemme continue my legend"

She also likes you scaring her from behind but also just appearing from normal. "BOO!" "Oldest trick in the- WOUAGH" the ghost busting through her face suddenly as she gives the thing a high five. "Never do that again" "Doin it again!" "No!"

She will resort to using realistic looking monsters and bones. "Watch we'll scare away these kids!" "That's not the point" she shushes you quickly "who knows maybe they'll be too busy running away to even get any candy" "just don't take all the candy for yourself" "I won't after all you'll always be at the bottom of the bucket" you sigh harshly kissing her cheek "I hate your jokes so much"

You don't really try to scare her back knowing you can't top her in this department. So you just took em....even the horrendous petnames.

"Hey pookie" your eyes widen at that nickname. "No." "You know well enough it's dangerous to go alone~" "honey please stop trying to make me join your weird ghost hunting thing" "noooo come on its 50 percent off" "there wasn't a price anyway" you went into the mountains staying straight faced even when some of the scares got you, thank God for your ability to appear as if you don't care.

She goes to sleep at night happy she got to bully you, until that nightmare hit her like a truck, her eyes shoot open as she slowly scoots over to you wrapping her arms around you. "You wouldn't right?" She blows near your ear. "You wouldn't..." she lays as close to you as physically possible

She'd fall asleep soon after and then wake up with a "WOAAOAOAAOAOA" "huh?" "YOU" she covers her face inching away. "I what?" You could feel your eye bags get darker so you turn around and try to go back to sleep, unfortunately she gets all up in your face "you didn't really say you wouldnt love me if i didnt exist" "WHAT?!?" You wake up fully at her statement turning quickly toward her. "YOU DID IN MY DREAM!" "WELL DREAM ME CAN FLY OFF SOMEWHERE AND NEVER COME BACK!!" You hug her tightly "I would love you if you didn't exist, you mean alot to me even if you're horrid this time of year" placing a small kiss on her cheek you go back to sleep rather quickly. Doesn't stop her from clinging onto you like a stuffed toy. She'll be enjoying playing with your hair for the next few minutes before she falls asleep aswell

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realcatalina · 11 months

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What flower is on Catherine of Aragon's necklace?

White rose and? If you say red rose, then you need to have your eye-sight check, seriously.

Read further if you want to know what this reddish-orange flower might be.

This portrait needs no introduction. There are multiple theories as to who it us and my fans know I firmly believe it is Catherine of Aragon and not Mary Rose Tudor.

Well, about a month ago I've red an article which mentions the problematic: Michael Sittow Exhibition and Catalog Review by Stephan Kemperdick.

He is curator in Gemäldegalerie in Berlin.

And words of Dr Kemperdick has restored my faith in proffesionals who deal with art. Because his take upon this portrait...it's pure proffesionalism at its best. How it should be.

(Although bit confusing to normal fans because Mr Kemperdick is refering to the portraits not by names we fans use...but their locations or other names...I was ok with it...I think most of you would struggle with it.)

He makes such excellent points regarding this portrait.

And today I'm going to talk about one of them, one which I have known about for while, but kept putting on for later, because I had no answers.

This necklace is not showing white and red roses!

The white flower looks like rose, but the other flower is not even red! It's orange-red! And has pointy leaves! Roses with such petals didn't exist in Tudor era! (And I'd say they don't even now.)

White rose+orange-red flower with pointy leaves is not representation of Tudor rose!

(The tiny red and white flwers could be representing Tudor roses, but they seem to have just four petals...but that can be just optical ilusion...we don't have them in HD.)

That this necklace is showing Tudor roses is false observation, which is insisted upon! And false observation made both by Mr Mathews when he identified it as Mary Rose and by Friedländer(the guy who identified it as Catherine of Aragon in 1915.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe it is Catherine...but what the hell is the other flower?! What is this orange(or slightly red) pointy thing?!

I tried to find something which would fit...but it's probably not orange lily...tulips look good from side but not from this angle...

What the hell is it...and why would it be important to Catherine.

Straight away i went to look, how does pomegranate flower look like.

Colour ok? Orange-ish red...but completely wrong shape of petals.

So I thought that is the end of the theory. Then I went on holiday...and by chance there were dozens of pomegranate trees/shrubs. Most had already nice green fruit(not yet ripe), rather large even.

But there were few blooms and I noticed something.

Pomegranate flower has something very curious behind the petals.

And I thought...is that beginning of fruit already? Seems odd...These things were very red...and all pomegranate fruits on tree were very green...not hint of redness in them.

Apparently this thing behind the petals of pomegrante flower is called sepal, it protects the flower in the bud, and then in some fruit types the sepals can form 'accessory fruit'-it doesn't fall off, but becomes part of the fruit itself. In pomegranate's case, can you guess which part?

And amazingly, after petals fall off, often the sepals are no longer so vividly red...but instead turn to peachy orange with some redness:

Normally it has 6 sepals but I've seen few with 7, and on grown fruit(already not orange) I've seen even 5.

So I think it is possible that the orange flower on Catherine's necklace are sepals of pomegrante.

Pomegranate in unsual form.

Seriously, it has been identified as Catherine for so long..before Mary Rose nonsense started...and nobody thought to investigate if it could be pomegranate?

...Insisting upon false observation indeed!

And remember what Mr Mathews said...it can't be Catherine of Aragon, because her symbol is pomegranate...and she is not wearing it.

Except she might be wearing pomegranate...just not in usual form.

#historical portraits #catherine of aragon #katherine of aragon #catalina of aragon #sittow

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loving08 · 11 months

Text

Love or Pain

Nicholas leister x reader

summary: Y/N and Nicholas has been best friends since childhood but Y/N started to have feelings for Nick. will she confess her feelings to him or the entry of Noah in their life will change everything??

Part 5

It was the first time Nick had behaved like that towards her so she doesn't know what to do, it's like they had a fight or something. It's been 2 weeks now, they haven't talked yet she wants to talk to him but the look he gave her while leaving, she's not being able to forget that.

Y/N just sighed and continued to lay on her bed when suddenly she remembered about their secret place. they would always go there to spend some time whenever they would feel sad or needed some space. she thought going there for some time will get her mind off from all the things and boy.... she was so wrong!!!

When she arrived at their place she comes out of the car and took a deep breath, just breathing the scent is already making her feel better. She walked ups to the road to go and sit where the scenery is perfect, where she and Nick would always enjoy each other company.

she reached near the spot when she saw two figures already sitted there, they have always thought maybe no one knows about this place, she just sighed and thought of going back when she heard it, she heard Nick's laugh and got confused. Is Nick's here? if he is, who is there with him? she wanted to confirm her guess and took some steps forward to get a clear view and then she saw, Nick and Noah together laughing at something. she felt hurt, why did Nick brought her here? it was there place only for both of them so why? not even their parents or friends knew about this place?? she was so deep in thoughts that she didn't realize Nick has already spotted her.

When Nick saw Y/N he felt a little pain in his heart, he hadn't seen her for 2 weeks, he missed her and he wanted to apologize to her how he behaved towards her, so he called her name to caught her attention and when he did, he felt a strong sense of pain, even if she is standing at a far distance he can see her hurt look. He stands up to go over to her when she turned and run away from there, he widened his eyes and ran after her. He soon caught up to her and took hold of her hand, made her turn around and said "why are you running Y/N? why are you running away from me??".

Y/N looked at him hurt and said "you brought her here, how can you do that Boo, it was our place, our safe place we have never told anyone about here and you just brought her without even thinking about my feelings, how dare you, how can you do this Boo" and tears started to fall from her eyes. "I know I know but I didn't think it was a big deal Bee, its not like its a secret place that no one will know about it" Nick said. Y/N just doesn't know what to say anymore, what had happened in this 2 weeks, he was never like that, how can he change so much in such a small amount of time.

she wiped the tears from her face and said "what had happened Nick, you were never like this, you would have never done something like this to hurt me ever, is her coming in our lives changed everything so much and if I remember correctly just some days ago you didn't wanted to get along with them and now you are letting her come and interfere in our lives". Nick looked at Y/N and said "C'mon Y/N don't be so dramatic, I know I was being like that but after getting to know her I don't think she's bad anymore and I think you are still forgetting what you have done to her, she was very upset Y/N, you should atleast apologize to her".

Y/N can't believe what she's hearing and said angrily "are you stupid Nick, how can you believe her when she said I told her to do that, you have known me for so long, we have been friends since diapers and you believed someone you have known for what, not even for a month, are you kidding me and yeah you said to apologize to her, never. Why should I apologize for a something I never did, she herself had gone to Ronnie, she planned that Nick. I don't know why she is doing this but believe me Nick it was all her please". Nick shook his head and said "how can you say that about someone Y/N, why will she let herself get harm, I mean she told me how rude you were being to her when I was not around but I didn't believed her but now its looks like she was right".

Y/N just continued to looked at him, feeling her heart getting broken and hurt with every words leaving his mouth, Nick looked at her in the eyes and said "were you always this rude and mean Y/N, was all this year were you faking everything, anything you ever did was it really from your heart or you just wanted to win people over". Y/N let out a bitter and painful laugh and said "you know my mom always told me loving someone feels amazing, its such an beautiful feeling that you cannot even describe it in words but she never told me that if the person you love hurts you, it will hurt this much". Nick started to realize he may have done something wrong or has assumed the situation wrong, he was not liking the way their talk was going and said "what are you talking about Bee, I can't understand".

"I love you...., I have loved you since our childhood, I never said anything to you about my feeling because I knew you never thought of me that way". Nick was shocked, he never thought she loved him in that way, yes he did felt a flattering feeling around her over the years but today listening to her stirs something inside his heart.

he just looked at her wide eyed and with a shocked look, Y/N looked at his face and felt nothing but hurt, she turned to leave but before that she wanted to tell him one last thing so she turned back to him and said "I have always supported you, cared for you and loved you but maybe.... maybe that was not enough. I am hurt Nick way too much, loving someone shouldn't hurt this much right, then why do I have to get hurt". she put her hand on his face and softly said "I can't let you hurt me anymore Nick, if I did I don't think I will survive, I will get shattered and that's why from today we will not see each other anymore, I will keep my distance.... Don't think that I'm abandoning you, I am not, I'm just trying to protect my heart, myself....".

she smiled sadly at him and said "it was good knowing you...., Goodbye Nickolas" and gently kissed his cheeks and got inside her car and left there with a broken heart.

Nick looked ahead at the disappearing car crying, realizing what he had done, not only he didn't realize your feelings for him but also how he had hurted you and now...., now he knows what those feeling he felt for you all these years, now he can name them, now he realized that he also loves you but its too late.... he had broked you.

Part 6

#nicholas leister #nicholas leister x reader #nicholas leister x y/n

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sawrinwrites · 3 months

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March Content Plans (Long Update)

As it is now the 25th here in frosty England, it has officially been 2 months since I published my first piece of fan fiction. In that time, I've released:

A one-shot containing my first ever attempt at both monster smut and an explicit F/F sex scene (which is currently my most popular work????)

A low angst (I know, I can't believe it either) romantic one-shot from the POV of a golden retriever

4 chapters of an emotionally intense story that is so far from my usual writing style I have to re-read earlier chapters to remind myself how to write it (a deliberate stylistic choice but boy, am I paying for it)

3 chapters of what was meant to be a fun side project and is quickly turning into something deep and dark and wonderful in its own right

All in all, that's 4 bodies of work spanning 57.7k words released over a period of 9 weeks (not including the 15-20k which got rewritten / replaced / outright cut). Which is, for me, insane. It's also a pace that I won't be able to maintain going forward, so for the sake of setting expectations (my own, more than anyone else's), here's the current plan for March:

The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow Ch 1-3 update Given that this has gone from "werewolf smut hiding in a multi-chapter fic" to "multi-fic exploration of abuse with a healthy dollop of smut", I want to revise what's already been released to better align with what I have going forward. There won't be any plot / event changes, scenes that get altered will be getting either an expansion or a rewrite, depending on the work needed (which will include adding more smut-adjacent content because it's currently lacking and I want it to be better).

Untitled - An Ember POV Story to Celebrate 1yr Since The Bees Kissed (March 25th) @reeves3 put the idea in my head and now I have a collection of outlines covering various points in Yang and Blake's relationship all told from the perspective of the Best Girl. They won't come out in chronological order as I'm looking to line them up with various events, but the current plan is that March 25th will cover the introduction of a new member into the Xiao Long-Belladonna pack.

Additionally, I'd like to release the following chapters but I am forcing myself to accept that these will likely get bumped to April:

The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow Ch 4

Shattered Divinity Ch 5

There's a few reasons for the (temporary) slowdown in content:

I am supposed to draft 1 - 3 OC novels this year (the mistake of mixing alcohol with an empty resolutions boards and the word "bet") and I need to dedicate more time than I have done to those projects to have any hope of doing that.

Rather than wait for the fan fic writer's curse to hit, I've gone and done it to myself by buying my first house. The offer got accepted yesterday, so now I have to deal with the joys of legal and financial paperwork. And start prepping for a move. And every other stressful time consuming thing that comes from this period. Don't get me wrong, I am fucking ecstatic, not least because it means me having an actual bedroom for the first time in almost 4 years, but the next steps are going to take a chunk out of my usual writing time.

@kaelidascope is about to drop a veritable feast of content. Look, I'm not subtle about how much I enjoy her work. She's my favourite fan fic writer. She's probably one of my favourite writers period on account of the emotional damage and veritable joy Mightnight Menagerie has brought me. And I'm not just saying this because she's been exceptionally complimentary of my own work (which, by the way, I am still freaking out over). She is one of the main reasons I started writing fan fiction. If it wasn't for the original Beestfic, I'd never have written The Hunt. Which means I'd never have had the concept ideas that initially led to starting The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow, and without that fic, I wouldn't have had the 3 experimental scenes between Yang and her grimm which ended up inspiring the idea to write Best Laid Plans from Ember's POV. So I will be setting aside some time (translation: every waking moment I have during release weekend) to thoroughly immerse myself in the relaunch. Also there's two Menagerie chapters due and the previews are already threatening my analytics brain and unfortunately it takes time to launch that kind of assault on AO3's comment section.

So yeah. A few things going on in March. I'm gonna try and do this as a rolling monthly thing going forward in lieu of trying to have a timed release schedule. Hopefully the April one will be a bit lot shorter.

#content update #fuck this is long #march is gonna be a MONTH for me yall

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bestworstcase · 7 months

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do you think it will be significantly harder for oz to reconcile with salem’s cause than the rest of rwbyjnor? with the way things are going i can see how the kids could get there but i’m so curious to see how oz will react. even if he is opening up more now, it’s a whole other thing to go back on the mandate and shift his view of salem after how long it’s been.

honestly i think the hardest part is already over in that none of it is buried anymore. for thousands of years ozma wore himself deeper and deeper into this rut, methodically cutting salem out of history until he had nearly absolute control over the fact of her existence. and then he locked the proverbial tower and threw away the key.

he had no plan.

like, prior to the fall of beacon, ozpin was just rotting. he dissociates through all of V1 and only wakes up when qrow alerts him that salem has "pawns" at beacon. and—look.

beacon academy—the school ozma built—is modeled after salem's father's castle. the headmaster's office is in her tower.

what does that tell us about how ozma conceives of himself, how he feels about his task, about what he really wants?

then the lost fable happens. ruby asks what ozpin is hiding, and jinn tells his whole story. he's made to relive it all over again, see himself make these choices once more. (he sees himself tell the god of light no. he hears himself say "that world just isn't as dear to me without her." he sees her tell him the truth—the gods ended the world—and he sees himself choose to tell her nothing, because he didn't trust her, and keep making that choice for years.)

thennn he spends months boiling in self-hatred and guilt before finding the wherewithal to climb back up and try again. he returns with a narrative monologue about fear, and rising above fear:

"fear of growing closer to someone; a subsequent fear of loss. fear of failure. and, as more people depend on you, those fears can take on greater power. but... fear itself is not worthy of concern; it is who we become while in its clutches. will you be proud of that person? will you forgive them? will you understand why they felt the need to do the things they did? will you even recognize them? ...or will the person staring back at you be the very thing you should have feared from the start?"

i wonder

what he might be thinking about, there.

anyways, consider the lyrics of 'until the end':

To live free or die, it’s all the same The enemy was right, there’s no reclaiming In waves of shame We’re desperate to make amends But through a simple soul we lie complacent Love brings us dreams But grief makes the heart burst at the seams As light fills my eyes I’ll picture me beside her And pray that I’ll inspire I promise I’ll be here until the end I promise I’ll be here until… ...Our story has been told Til our bodies break down every door Til we find what we’ve been looking for And stare with pride into the face of fear In our finest hour, I’ll be standing here

and also consider the way 'fear' lists his, er, fears:

We live in fear that we might fail Fear that we'll succeed Fear that we may not provide The things our loved ones need

in waves of shame, we're desperate to make amends.

and, we live in fear that we'll succeed.

ozma believes that the only way to save the world is to destroy salem. the only reason he agreed to return to the world at all was because salem was in it. that world just isn't as dear to me without her.

he's been stuck and stagnating all this time because: 1. he believes everything the god of light told him. 2. he, like salem, believes that the gods will rule against humanity. 3. he's terrified of the world ending. 4. he believes the only way to avoid that is to destroy salem. 5. salem is, and has always been, his reason for living.

he cannot destroy salem because she can't be destroyed. but he also cannot destroy her because given the choice between losing her and losing the world, he would choose her. he already did choose her.

he's afraid to fail. but he's even more afraid to succeed.

the point of contention between him and salem, fundamentally—the reason they're in conflict and the reason they haven't been able to reconcile up to this point—is #1. ozma has faith in the god of light, regards him as the supreme creator, and does not believe that there is any possibility outside of the binary given by the mandate. salem rejects that, utterly.

shatter ozma's faith, and reconciliation becomes possible very quickly, because that is what he wants. it's less that he needs to be persuaded to reconcile with her and more that he needs permission, because right now he has it carved into his bones that doing what he wants will doom the world.

i think salem will actually be the one much more reluctant to reconcile, as opposed to striking a truce with the vacuo coalition, because ozma abused her trust in such a profoundly horrible way and she is very obviously not over it. like... as things stand right now, ozma is straight up pining for her while salem desperately just wants him gone. "why do you keep. coming. back."

#emotionally salem is a lot closer rn to the way blake felt about adam in V6 than anything.#because ozma's spent the past few thousand years treating her exactly the way adam treated blake after she left him #but the fandom is. not ready for that discussion lmfao

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shimmerofstars · 9 months

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Upon rewatch, Arcane actually has two layers with regards to Jayce, Mel and Viktor. The framing of the show suggests one thing, and depicts another. Watching Viktor cough up blood in between Mel and Jayce making out makes the whole experience uncomfortable at best and suggests Jayce is choosing Mel over Viktor or his science work, especially when later, Jayce going to Mel for comfort over Viktor's prognosis fades from this (Jayce laying on Mel's lap):

To this (Viktor sitting alone in front of hextech mixed with his blood):

except...

Jayce was with Viktor, spending time with Viktor by his bed at the hospital right before he went to Mel for emotional support.

And that scene where Jayce makes love with Mel? That's literally in the middle of the night- the stars are out. He's not at work because he's not on work hours. He's not choosing anyone over anything, he's having a romantic life and events outside of his work while also maintaining his friendships.

Or the framing of this scene in episode 5:

Jayce: Yesterday's smuggling fiasco was nothing. These manifests are full of discrepancies, dating back months.

Viktor: This is a poor use of out time.

Jayce: I'm a councilor now, Viktor. It's my responsibility to make sure the hexgates are safe and protected.

Viktor: What about our pledge to improve lives, for those in need? For the undercity?

Jayce: [sighs] Look, I'm sorry I didn't announce our other projects in my speech. Soon we can do everything we-

Viktor: Soon? There are people who need our help now, Jayce.

Which can be interpreted as Jayce thinks trade discrepancies are of equal or more pressing concern than the lives of those in the undercity or that Jayce is prioritizing the lives of future citizens over the people he could help now, except...

Before Mel suggests that Jayce, a scientist who's familiar with the technology and is proficient enough in social situations and public speaking that Heimderdinger allowed him to give the annual Progress Day speech, should be elevated to the position of councilor and specifically given the responsibility of tracking down the person who stole the hexgem, the two options were:

a) do nothing about the fact that the hexgem, which is extremely powerful and can power almost anything (including weaponry) has been stolen by someone willing to kill six people to get it

b) shut down everything powered by the hexgems so that they can't be accessed by the thief until they find the missing hexgem

The council controls all of the activities of hextech and has the ability to control if, when and how the technology is used, which would include the distribution of hextech into the hands of the people. Considering the fact that the council is already highly wary of magic and currently believes that the stolen hexgem will likely be used as a superweapon, there is a zero percent chance that the council would approve of mass producing hextech to distribute to the people, especially for people of the undercity, who the council likely perceives as inherently more dangerous or less worthy, or both. Jayce being a councilor and taking his duties as councilor seriously gives hextech its only chance at independence (as Mel put it: "With that comes the potential to shape your own destiny") and distribution to the people living in the undercity. Which would only be possible if 1. Jayce gives the council the reassurance they need that the technology will be safe in the people's hands by addressing or catching the thief and 2. Jayce having a vote himself increases the chances that a motion to distribute the technology would get passed. Meaning that Jayce needs to take his duties as councilor seriously to achieve his and Viktor's dreams of helping the people, and he is just as concerned as Viktor is. Even if Jayce gave up his councilor duties/work to achieve the ultimate form of hextech with Viktor (like Viktor wanted him to) that's the perfect medicine/healing technology, it wouldn't mean anything if none of it could get to the people because the council believes it's too dangerous.

Anyways I just can't quite figure out why Arcane is sort of framing Jayce as someone who's prioritizes Mel/his councilor work over Viktor/helping the people while showing that Jayce's councilor work is important to helping people and dedicating multiple scenes to show that Jayce does hangout with/work with Viktor.

#Maybe it has something to do with how Mel is sort of framed as somewhat suspicious or morally questionable #until her motivations and true self are revealed in episode 8 hits you like a truck #arcane analysis #jayce talis #mel medarda #viktor

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bridgeportbritt · 6 months

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A Fresh Start Rehabilitation Center | Cypress, SimDonia

???: Who could be here for me? Mom and Dad would've called first.

Arabella nervous: Hey there...

???: Oh, my Watcher! Arabella??

Arabella: Hey, Alex.

Alex: I can't believe you're- how did you-? Oh, my Watcher.

Arabella: I hope you're not mad.

Alex: Mad? no! I'm confused, but I'm so happy to see you! How'd you find me here?

Arabella: Umm... we're best friends with the Queen.

Alex: Really? Diana sent you here?

Arabella: We've been worried about you, so she had someone do some digging. Once we found you here, we knew we needed to see you in person. Diana wishes she could be here, but..

Alex: I understand. Gosh, I'm just happy to see you. Sorry, I said that already. Let's sit and catch up.

Alex: So, how is Diana? You've seen her recently?

Arabella: Yeah, she's doing good. Busy, of course. Seems like she's been pregnant forever. Won't be long now.

Alex: Aw, and you?

Arabella: Well, we just had little Madeliene not to long ago. I don't think I've seen you since I had Jayme.

Alex: Wow, three little ones? You guys aren't wasting no time. Gosh, I feel like I've missed a lot.

Arabella: Yeah, it was like you fell off the face of the earth there. What happened?

Alex: Right... well, it's kind of a long story, but after the wedding fiasco... I was really struggling.

Alex upset: I tried my best to keep it together for the coronation. It was just... seeing her again. Knowing that because of me... my best friend almost...

Arabella: Alex, no one blames you for that.

Alex: Yeah, I kept trying to tell myself that. But, after the coronation.. I just... kind of went off the deep end.

The rest of this post describes substance abuse, alcohol, and drugs. Please read at your own risk.

Alex: The partying, the drinking, the drugs. I was spiraling out of control hard and fast. I- I didn't even recognize myself anymore.

Arabella: Oh, Alex...

Alex: I was just so torn up with guilt and I hated myself for even dating that guy. I felt so violated and used. And I just let everybody down once again with my stupid choices.

Arabella sobbing: I'm so sorry you were going through that, Alex! We should've paid more attention and been there for you!

Alex: No, don't think that, Arabella, really. You were living your life! I was a mess and isolating myself on purpose. Eventually, my parents caught on and sent me here.

Arabella: I'm so glad for that. I... know life is crazy and we don't see each other as much, but... I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my best friend.

Alex: Thanks, Belle. Even though being here sucked at first, it's working its magic, I guess. I've been sober for 5 months, therapy 3 times a week, group twice, activities up the ass.

Arabella: That's amazing, Alex. I'm so proud of you!

Alex: Thanks. Plus, I kind of met someone..

Arabella: Oh, really?

Alex: Yeah, his brother's a patient here. But, my dad's company works with his. He owns a clothing brand. Or "lifestlye apparel" as he likes to call it. He's cool.

Arabella: He sounds like the most normal guy you've ever dated.

Alex laughs: I know, right? No "salarypersons" from Mt. Komorebi this time around. We're just friends for now. Gotta stay focused on the program. But, I only have 3 months left, so... who knows?

Arabella: Wow, that's a really mature way to go about it. I am so impressed, Alex. You're killing it! You're so much stronger than you realize. I can't wait to see how you flourish after this.

Alex: Thanks, I'm excited to. Feels like - ugh - a fresh start.

Arabella chuckles: Ah, that's why they call this place that... Well, care to show me around? Let me into Alex's world?

Alex: Sure, since it's a little less messy.

#simdonia #chap 12 #alex was always a party girl #but she partied for fun not to cover up her pain #hopefully she stays on the right track #sims of color #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #ts4 #royal sims #sim: alexandra #sim: arabella #tw drugs #tw alcohol #tw substance abuse

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gloomyfilm · 11 months

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A LOVE LETTER TO THIS IS US 🍋💌☁️

/for full ambiant experience click on the audio before continuing\

I still can't believe two summers ago I decided to give This Is Us a try, fell in love and binge-watched the whole 5 seasons available.

Every night, I would get to cooking in a very romanticized fashioned way à la Nancy Meyers main character, pour myself a nice fresh drink as people still enjoyed the warmth of the early evening hours.

By the time dinner was ready, world would accordantly settle for peacefulness as I made my way to the couch to get all cozy and snuggly.

Here would begin, the events I was truly not prepared for..

In just under 2 episodes, I was now finding myself unexpectedly and completely invested, all thanks to the writers for having done such a terrific job on the dialogues, cliffhangers and time traveling. For approximately the next two weeks following, my nights were paced up by This Is Us and driven by my own hunger to find out: what on earth happened to the Pearson family?

From the very first episode, --- which features one of the most beautiful closing scene I've seen on television along Labi Siffre's song "Watch Me" --- up to the last episode of season 1, emotions would come to the surface, hitting a specific spot within me...

By episode 14 from season 2 it was clear, if not clear then, that the tissu box would be kept close by for the remaining time of the entire series.

Imagine some stranger dropping on you some hard facts about life, death, society issues, love, mental health... to sum it up: YOURSELF.

precisely, accurately and totally out of the blue. 😃

As the seasons went on, I was admiring how the flashbacks and foreshadowing started to merge all together into one. It would only get all the more brilliant with each new episode I was discovering.

The show succeeded in giving its audience a range of life observations to think about. Therapy-wise, if you couldn't afford a therapist, This Is Us was there for you. I still rely on and appreciate many of the thoughtful and life inspiring excerpts.

Moreover, it delivered the people with a brand new music playlist. Yes, another key element to all this greatness is the symbiosis between the storylines and the soundtrack. Hold my Spotify, to this day I still listen to the score in my bed, to meditate, to get dreamy. I've also come to discover wonderful artists and can hardly detach their songs from the show as it gave their melodies a new sense of clarity and depth.

When having finished the fifth season, I was desperate for more but afraid to google the show and potentially find out it had been canceled.... which is NOT what happened of course because we're talking about thee show that has garnered over 17 million views in less than 3 days for its trailer alone. alright lovelies?

And so just like that, comfortable in my bed and all up to date, the sixth and finale season of This Is Us was premiered in early 2022.

Only couple of months after having cried an ocean over its past seasons, -- if reminder was needed --, I emotionally began this last chapter of what felt in some parts like my own life portrayed on screen. ✨hopes were high - tissu box storage ran low.✨

Season 6 would open to a flashbacks filled episode echoing Season 1, already preparing us for closure and ultimately heartbreaks. Eventually some people were a bit disappointed by the simplicity of the final episode, but the last minute or so really brought it all up for me. It was ending, right there before our very eyes and it was beautifully executed. The ultimate disappointment would have been to not experience any shivers, but that never happened, the show always got in my feelings in one way or another.

The empty boxes of kleenex that I've been sitting on can testify, your honor.

Last but not least, an aspect of the show that I've truly enjoyed is that all characters and actors were given dedicated moments to shine.

The chemistry between them was real, felt and seen both on and off the big screen and that's precious. I miss this cast.

This year, just a few weeks away from my birthday, there'll be no new Jack Pearson butt to be seen, no mothering singing Rebecca, no anxious Randall, no queen Beth, no indecisive Kevin, no self sabotaging Kate and oh do I miss them all. But I am so grateful for the people behind this project and their creative genius that bought us such a magnificent television program. I had low expectations, it now holds a special place in my heart like no other tv series.

This Is Us did not just narrate a story about some random family, it narrated life authentically at its worst and finest. With poetry and grace, it presented different storylines for each and every single one of us to identify, it offered us our very own reflection, and an opportunity to change, learn, heal or grow. This is the reason why so many of us worldwide described it as close to home,

because This Is Us.

🎂 And a very happy (late) birthday to our boo Milo Ventimiglia (08/07/1977) 💘

#milo ventimiglia #mandy moore #this is us #tiu #tiuedit #i am so grateful for this #filmedit #doyouevenfilm #my gifs #mental health #televisongifs #jack pearson #rebecca pearson #Spotify

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not-poignant · 15 days

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hi pia i just wanted to respond to what you said in your tags about the burnout w chronic illness. and i dont mean to condescend or blame but i think your burnout came about because you are an absolute beast of a writer!!!!! the amount of words you were pushing out consistently had me wondering what kind of spell you must’ve been on. (in a good way, except it turned out to be harming you) you worked really really hard for a long time, i think harder than many healthy people even (my chronic illness could never). i know you also enjoyed writing (we enjoyed it too!), but that workload honestly never looked sustainable. the astounding part is not that you burned out, but that you managed to push for so long, despite your handicaps and hardships. want to be careful not to sound like im praising/blaming you. but you’re really just build different than a lot of folks. i hope you had time to recharge so far and keep taking it easy. i do miss your updates but i can assure you im fine waiting, as are your other readers! its really okay! get better soon 💐🐀💓

Hi anon,

This is very kind of you to say, but tbh, I don't think many people know how much some writers can, well, write.

I might seem like an over-achiever, but there are writers out there who easily write around 6000-10000 words per day, and release a book per month. I have met successful authors who aim for 150k or 200k at NaNo, because 50,000 words is 5 days of work to them.

It's hard for me to comprehend, because I know I can't do that. But likewise, I think many folks don't realise that I actually used to write a lot more than I do now!! For some years it was normal for me to write 50-80,000 words every single month. NaNo was a joke. That caused burnout, and so I adjusted down to a 25,000 minimum monthly wordcount which sometimes felt so easy that it was absurd. I now have a maximum which I have to adhere to per month (50k), because it's too easy to go past it.

For me, writing is relatively easy. It's still work, yes. I still need to put time into it. But I don't need to put in the same amount of time as someone who hasn't done it for thousands and thousands of hours. I don't need to put in the same amount of time as someone who can only touch type at 80 wpm, when I touch type at 120-150 wpm.

The amount of stories is an issue, and the number of chapter updates is an issue, but the actual output re: words themselves really isn't. In fact I've written more words this month than I did last month already, and will very likely hit my monthly minimum with the next chapter.

The things that contributed to my burnout are multifaceted. Getting a puppy. A death in the family. Not having access to the mental health drugs I need to function for a long period of time. Friendship disintegration. These things can cause burnout in anyone, even if they are working very sustainably, because they all require separate labour on top of the labour that someone is doing for their job.

When I come back from hiatus, I will not be writing less. I don't believe the wordcount is the issue and haven't for a long time. I will be scheduling out less chapters, because admin is overwhelming to me. If you told me that my job wasn't writing anymore, but I had to schedule + figure out when to post twice as many chapters, I'd fail, lmao.

So I will be addressing admin stuff! But the amount of words I was pushing out, anon, was completely sustainable, and in fact a highly reduced number compared to what I was pushing out 6/7 years ago. Anon, I have been pushing out this many words or more for 5 years without stopping until now. It's felt comfortable. It's been so much less than what I used to make myself write.

So yeah, again, it can be hard for people who don't do this professionally to imagine writing at this level. And all professionals are different. I couldn't write 150k for NaNoWriMo, but the people writing 100k a month find that extremely easy to do. How I feel about their output - that it's impossible (because it is for me) is not how they feel about their output. For them writing 50k a month to make it easy might be extremely laughable to them, like, 5 days of work and then they get 25 days off. That's sometimes how I've felt about 25k (though it's more like 10 days of work to me - which is great, because I have chronic illness lol, so I need a lot of rest days and periods).

The amount of words I was pushing out consistently will be the amount I go back to because that is truly the most sustainable part of my job. I don't expect folks who haven't plugged in as many hours into writing, and who haven't written millions of words to understand, but the fact is the more you do something, the faster you get at it. The more practice you have, the more competent you become.

That was actually how I knew the burnout was so bad, because the easiest part of my job - the words + the writing - was impossible last month, and I only ended up with 14k for the first time in 5 years, and had to make a call.

The reason the hiatus is so frustrating is that so much of it is being caused by external factors, and not actually the job itself. Like yes, I am working on too many stories, and I can address that, but I was actually doing much higher wordcounts when I was working on less stories.

It's all the extra stuff that becomes very overwhelming! But I'll get there anon, and my wordcounts aren't going anywhere.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #no one else can decide what is causing my burnout except for me and my therapists #and someone else being like 'i couldn't imagine writing your wordcounts so it must be that' is like #it's kind of you to want to problem solve it anon but that is not the problem #those word counts are actually the *solution* to #a different kind of burnout i had 5-7 years ago lmao #if a person cooks dinner every night all their life #and then has 20 other things in their life go wrong #so they can't cook dinner anymore #the thing they need to permanently stop is not cooking dinner #it's the 20 other things #aslkfjsda that's where i'm at #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

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