#i cant keep a straight face saying that fucking ship name
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tough guy bowser and his twink boyfriend luigi. ive said enough
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darlingpost darling post get out while u still can
this is my ososan self insert darling! not their real name they get named a la homestuck aka they need a name and so thats what we call this guy
visual arts student in their last year, no gender unless its funny, always wear comfy or flowy clothes that hide the chest (SHRODINGERS BOOBS?? ((they r flat theyre like a ken doll, )))
le ref sheet
IN MY HEAD darling was like photocopying some doujin pages they were working on (for fun) at some store bc their printer broke or wathevs and then fucked up and suddenlly all the papers are scattered everywhere!!! noooo the gay porn!!! and karamatsu is like oh hang on let me help u with those my good sir (darling is dressed like a mess here) and darling is so fucking embarrassed but still goes like ummm thank uuu??? and karamatsu is like of course! no need to thank me!! karmatsu matsuno!!!<introduces himself here and darling is like waaaa he so nice and doesnt think im a freak for LITERALLY PRINTING GAY PORN IN PUBLIC WHAT THE FUCK anyway they do small talk with like ah yes great work here get home safe dont lose those papers again yes sir yes sir!!
karamatsu goes on with his life but darling is like waaa he was so nice i wanna be friends or something but idk if i will everrr find him again siiighhh. buut like one week later darling is all dressed up on theyr way to the city museum bc they help out there for school credit (is that a thing in japan idk this is me playing with dolls) but still have some time to kill to get there and on the way they see karamatsu in the distance and darling is like oh! i can say hi!! so they go but bc they r dressed more cutesy now karamatsu immediately starts doing his bit before darling even says hi hes like: "AH YES OUR FATED MEETING WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!! YES IVE BEEN SEEING U IN MY DREAMS AND MAY IT BE FATE THAT HAS BROUGHT U TOGETHER¿ RIGHT NOW MY **DARLING**!!" or something like that and darling is an idiot so they go "OMG HE REMEMBERS ME FROM LAST TIME! AND HE WANTS ME TO KEEP HIM COMPANY!! OR SOMETHING IM NOT SURE WHATS HE TALKING ABOUT!" point is darling doesn't ask for his name cause they already know it and karamatsu quite literally just names them darling and then they go on a not date to the museum cause i say so
dont get me wrong i ship them but also theyre both so fail at this bc darling is an airhead and karamatsu is....karamatsu
they would be the kind of ship that starts dating without knowing which i find funny bc karamatsu would make a big deal out of asking darling out and darling would be like oh as a friend right and would miss every romance cue ever but then when darling would be like hey are we dating and karamatsuu would be like *dies from both exasperation and relief* and then darling would be too concerned about getting him to the hospital and forgets about the dating part im hjust having fun here
darling tag with silly stuff
ANYWAY darlin n karamatsu are besties darling likes hearing him talk bc its funny and they compliment him on his spakly stuff n music even tho darling knows shit abt music and karamatsu hangs around trying to cheerlead darling on stuff and darling does the same, idiot to idiot communication,
ALSO darling cant see very well n they make a very goofy lights r on nobodys home face whenever they dont wear their glasses and confuse the matsus constantly at the start probably lol,
like after hanging out a bit darling probably sees totty in the city and they go OMGG KARAMACHAN U DIDNT TELL ME U WERE GOnna be in the city we could hang out and ur dressed in pink if i wore my pink cardigan we could maaatch and then realizes, they fucked up and totty is like KARAMACCHAN WHO, but totty was like, with friends and the girls are like omg totty who is this and darling is like TOTTY WHO, and his friends rope darling into hanging out bc darling straight up glomped totty there and they r never living that down ever.
and then todomatsu confronts karamatsu like DO YOU KNOW THIS GIRL and karamatsu is like ah thats darling and totty is like DIE?? anyway they get along fine n totty calls them dari-chan i think darling also gets along with osomatsu darling draws him silly stuff on request n sometimes tries to play with jyushimatsu (dies) ichi probs thinks darling has something wrong in the head to hang out w karamatsu (they do) and choromatsu is like perpetually confused, no one uses the same set of pronouns for darling which creates confusion at the start
darling is technically a nickname (and an overly cutesy one too!) so darling gets named that way by karamatsu at the start so they go oh i guess we r besties for life now and so they go like ok so i need a cutesy nickname for him so they do that and with totty darling fucks up introducing themself to him so they end up being dari-chan to him as a way to make an even more cutesy name out of an already cute nickname i just think thats funny
uuu what else what else, picky eater of the eats meat variety, short, cant see, tummy hurts, lightweight but doesnt care, this is literally me bro, this post is already so fucking long idk what else more, im just playing with dolls man
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wheel inside of a wheel — continued (lighting out for the territories<3)
ingrid and annerose both having nightmares…..
Blindly, Ingrid’s hand found Annerose’s, curled up in a fist on the side of the bed. Ingrid uncurled her fingers gently, then linked their hands together. Her palm was sweaty, but Annerose didn’t mind. Ingrid didn’t answer the question for a moment, and when she did, her voice was almost desperate. “Because it was good there,” she said. “We say it’s a perfect place, and we believe it, because we don’t have to think about it. It’s good to have something like that to hold on to, to push out everything else. It’s mindless. It’s heaven. Don’t you understand, Fraulein von Müsel?”
“Annerose,” she said. “Call me Annerose.”
“That’s a beautiful name,” Ingrid said. When Annerose said nothing, Ingrid said, “It’s this place where time just passes. And you don’t have to be afraid of anything, because you know that everyone feels the same way as you. There’s no schemes. There’s no one who’s going to hit you. And they say, ‘You’re home! A home you never have to leave! Even when you die, you get to return to Mother Earth, and live forever in Her arms.’ You don’t have to think about the future. There’s just this… now… that takes up all the space in your head. I thought it would last forever. I really did.” She squeezed Annerose’s hand tightly. “Don’t you understand?”
“No,” Annerose said. “I don’t.”
….💔💔💔💔💔💔 oh wow this just confirms my sotp suspicions..
“You would do the same,” Ingrid said, but Annerose had to wonder if that was true. Despite being a member of the Rosenritter, and the fleet, Annerose had never killed anyone. She had never been tested like that. And she had always thought—
“I don’t know,” Annerose said. “Someone once told me that I’ve always been a little too good at enduring.”
Ingrid nodded. “You’re stronger than I am, then.”
“No,” Annerose said, emphatic. “Don’t say that.”
SHE HAS A CAPACITY FOR ENDURING… YK WHO ELSE HAS A CAPACITY FOR ENDURING???😭😭😭😭😢😢😢
the trouble finds u on heinessen as always girl😭😭and that FUCKING BISHOP.. id kill for ingrid’s POV on this situation and situation alone ik that girl is in love (cant even understand the alliance language just sees a pretty girl soldiering behind her) . the parallels of maggie and ingrid both having things for str8 girls😢maggie & ingrid once being an item … wow
i need some thyoxin ngl
“I’m just trying to protect her,” Annerose said. “There’s no point in bringing her through all of this if she’s going to be in just as much danger on Heinessen as she was on Odin, or Earth, or Phezzan, for that matter. She’s spent the last five years or however long having every independent thought poisoned out of her!” Annerose shook her head, frowning. Ingrid glanced over at her, concerned, and Annerose smiled, a little grimly.
They were pulling into the parking lot of the medical center now. “I won’t say anything against it,” Schenkopp said. He shrugged. “But let’s keep it professional, Müsel.”
She had no idea what he meant by that.
schonkopf dont be jealous ya girl is 1 of 2 ppl in space dat is undeniably het…
“And if I was her, mom? Would you say the same thing, if this was all happening to me? Would you tell me that this is all for my own good?”
Her mother’s face pinched a little, the professional facade broken for the first time. “I protected you.”
I Protected You!! why wont u play the long game & let ingrid be a useful tool .. being in an environmentalist cult that drugs its followers is just like the army if u think abt it… ur brother has fantasies of riding on odin in a conqueror’s ship.. and in canon lotgh he got that. wiaw will make his ass work for it tho lol
ice cream right after curry? human stomachs have evolved to be strong af
trunicht might actually be just as bad if not a bit worse than an earth cultist dropping on in😭😭 wiaw annerose getting all kind of (subtextual) gay allegations im obsessed… straight girl shoehorned in a political &!/ homosexual rigmarole
“I hope that Erwin is as sweet as your boy is.” Well hes giving some poor maidservant HELL in the empire 😭😭😭
annerose coming to this.. understanding of sorts after it being a lingering . conflict? issue? pre conflict but a line of dissonance btwn rein& anne in loob to now understanding reinhard’/ protectiveness over her situation a tad bit in dealing with ingrid & julian is rly nice. its rly nice. in a way, canon annerose kinda ended up losing both + was propped up as a political raison d’etre for reinhard (even deemed as space’s mother & responsible for reinhard’s own decision making) so its interesting that shes watching those parallel situations in julian+ ingrid n being so upset abt it like GIRL THAT WAS U.. IT WAS..😢😢
omg. ur brother’s an econ bro right? ask him to riddle me this. gotta love schonkopf😭😭
empire:alliance::noble families:elite corporations. forgot how the proper analogy format worked but ygwim.. reading about a heat planet while living under historical heat levels… nat rome u told the future big bro signed I.F. (he dont even know nat rome in this case hes just a bozo)
schonkopf’s tone being slightly disappointed when he heard julian cooks& not annerose…he came back down 3-0 with the flowers respectful manly man-ness & clocking ingrid’s tea tho LOL. getting confirmation that annerose is the only straight girl on this side of space is heartbreaking but annerose seeing ingrid as this sad wet pitiful baby cat is somehow.. idk..its even funnier to me.
Almost on a whim, Reinhard spent an afternoon putting together a fake resume and submitting it to companies on his shortlist who did have offices on Phezzan. He made up a degree for himself in structural engineering from PNU, gave himself a reasonable GPA and a scattering of skills, a fake year of experience at a local building firm as an intern, and a cover letter detailing his passion for challenging work in tough environments. He got one call back about it after a few days, and Reinhard showed up to his scheduled interview wearing a tie and a large pair of non-prescription glasses, his fake Phezzani ID card that he had borrowed from the High Commissioner’s office in hand.
reinhard canonly being unusually attractive (read: white bishie) tryna put on average joe disguises but being so bad at it is the funniest thing to me. u cant use ur boyfriend’s name to pretend at being both a prospective cultist AND a prospective engineer man!!!! if only frederica was here shed do reinhard’s face so he could at least try to blend in LOL. remember how she put makeup on a corpse? rly love how reinhard is sneaking around & pretending to be ppl throughout.… + obligatory nat rome engineering mention. sorry I.F popped out (except hed never be sympathetic to rvl he hates rvl cuz hes a tryhard extremist & a nat rome fanboy.)
A DUEL? these dumb nobles need to leave my yang out this mess (but itd be a boring story if he wasnt in the mix LOL)
Im actually crine at reinhard being bossy & demanding toward his foe in espionage😂😂😂well he did it ONCE he can do it AGAIN !! He The Blonde brat indeed
Muller scowled. “Salesmen always come when you’re eating dinner, because you’ll do anything to make them go away so you can enjoy your meal in peace.”
this line made me chortle. and the following dialogue is even funnier. unlike his beloved sister tho reinhard is NOT beating the gay allegations. what would rvl’s drag name be? he didnt get what he want exa-ctly. cuz miss muller dont put out easy but he got something~now will this intel make sis in time?
“I think you and your brother have the same kind of crazy,” he said. “You just haven’t had much of an opportunity to let it out.”
“What kind is that, Captain Schenkopp?” she asked, turning towards him. As he opened his mouth to answer, she reached up and grabbed his flyaway scarf, pulling him towards herself with it.
“The kind that I appreciate, Lieutenant Commander,” he said. woooo go straight people!
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Grand Admiral of Hell's Navy babysitting duty
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Part 2
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It was casual morning in the HoL until Asmo decided to show MC and the exange students squad some parts of Devildom not many had seen.
"Hey MC, have you ever seen Devildom's butterflies?" Asmo asked.
"No, i dont think i have" they respond continueing to sew belphies pillow.
"They hasnt seen them maybe bc theyre on that island. Maybe Levi knows what kind of ocean beast is there." Beel said munching on his after-breakfast snack.
"i havent seen that either. Maybe Levi knows how to get there." Belph spoke from couch with his head on MC's lap.
"You're right. LEEEVIIIIIII" Asmo screamed as if his life depended on it.
Instead of angry Levi comes angry lucifer and then after angry Lucifer comes angry Levi.
"Keep it down!!" Lucifer scream and Mc is wondering how the hell does the house still stand.
"What do you want Asmo" Levi looks at his youger brother.
"You know about that island where do bloodsucking crystalline butterflies live, do you?"
"Ofc i do. As a Grand Admiral i have to know where am i leading my ships." Levi scoffs.
"Well thats good to know. On that island you can get just by water and i dont know how do anything with boats and since on that part of an ocean is a sea monster... Who else that my sweet big bro can get us safe on that island. You can do that since youre Grand Admiral of Hell's Navy." Asmo says slyly to get to his point.
"And you think i can do that? Sure get to that island wont be problem for me, but as a Grand Admiral i also have limits! I cant do everything as i pleases, can I?" He tried to put him down from his idea.
"Fine plan B. MC you want to go there? Asmo turns to face MC.
"I mean, if i could see that butterflies, i could have some inspiration in making the butterfly hair clips as had the butterfly sisters in Demon slayer." MC says looking straight at Levi. "Would you please take me and the others there, Levi?"
"I-I mean,sure thing. Ofc yeah, anything for you. Why re you still sitting? Go dress up bc on ocean its sometimes cold. Try to hurry up if we want to come back before the night." Levi says and leaves living room to grab his stuff.
Asmo just smirks. "I know how to get something of I want to." and winks at MC.
They all met in the living room, luke, simeon and solomon joining too bc solomon said: 'Ive gotta see this' so here they are.
Levi came downstairs in his admiral uniform.
"So you decided to go full mode huh? Wanna impress MC that much?" Belph teases slightly red Levi.
"S-shut up. Lets go." And he pushes them out of house.
"Its about time you took us here Levi. Funny how you never let your dear big brother wander here alone." Mammon teases.
"Yeah no. I dont need nuclear explosion." He mutters.
"Alright my soldiers. All you have to do is preprare Bailoar and make sure All of them are safe on it." He says in a voice MC never heard him speak in.
"Yes Admiral" they say automaticaly and get to work.
Levi knows theyre talking about the situation and he just lets them bc 'I came here to enjoy a cruise with my human' mode is on.
"Its weird to see admiral Leviathan so chill today. He usually have stare that could kill if if he had that power." The soldiers whisper between them.
"You know what im not gonna fuck up today bc im not really in the mood to be feeding Lothan." one of them says. They all agree and go to do as their admiral wants.
"What is Bailoar?" Beel asked.
"I think its the name of the ship?" MC says.
"Yes correct. Bailoar is the ship i was using the most when i was still new. Shes not especialy big bc I dont want to take the other ones out." Levi explains when he leads them to a huge ship where on the right side is in caligraphy written Bailoar.
"How did you called her again?" Solomon stood there, mouth wide opened looking at the ship.
"Bailoar is bigger than seven football stadions..." MC says.
"Yeah shes tiny sorry. "He responds to MC. Then he turn to face his brothers, Angels and Solomon who were just observing the base.
"What are you waiting for? On board!" He ordered.
The cruise started nicely, wind was fine, the sea was calm...what can go wrong?
Lemme tell you. EVERYTHING.
"Levi how would you call Bailoar for humans?" Solomon asked.
"I think Bailoar is the ship that would never sink. I mean NOTHING can take her down." Levi says proudly.
"Like the Titanic?" MC said.
"What is Titanic?" Luke, Mammon, Asmo and Belphie asks at the same time.
"For the humans it was the unsinkable ship in human history." Solomon explained.
"yeah. Well it wasnt that unsikable bc in its first cruise ended up at the bottom in the middle of Atlantic ocean with at least 500 or more dead passagers." MC said as if by the way. The way their smiles dissapeard was really funny to watch.
"Yeah it did sank but the capitain of the ship was kind of stupid." Solomon says trying to calm a little panicked luke.
"Dont forget that Titanic sank bc it hit iceberg." Solomon reminded MC.
"Yeah and since levi is the capitain now lets hope he dont do anything stupid or at the bottom of the ocean will be us." MC says jokingly. All of the soldiers that were with them at the boat trying not to cross their way if they dont have to froze looking at Levi with tears in their eyes, some of them that pale that Satan could swear he saw their veins.
Levi responded very calmly.
"Yeah. Well im demon capitain, and on this ocean are not any icebergs."
"I know but is a sea monster."
Some soldiers had to leave to breathe it throught, or sit somewhere and calm down.
"Why does everyone look like were about to get eaten?" MC asks totally confused.
"Levi’s lowkey known only to come visit the base when there’s either an imperial order to wage war or suppress something or he’s going to 'whip everyone into shape' and those who fail his standards are gonna be eaten by Lotan" Satan explains not looking up from his book.
Mammon just laughs.
"yeah Levi has rage issues too lmao he traumatized his subordinates 😂👌”
(original idea goes to person i could not find so if you see this pls say its your idea and im more than willing to give you credit for this beatiful thing i'll Also tag @dicetheroll and @obeythebutler bc i can. Hope you'll like it <3)
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Incorrect Sanscent Quotes 2
Ships:
Errorink
Dustberry
Horrorlust
Kreme
Crossmare
Scifell
Afterdeath
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Ink: There is no good reason why we can’t sit down and have a conversation!
Error: I have a reason.
Ink: Which is?
Error: I. Dont. Like. You!
Ink: Really?! You cant say one thing you like about me!?
Error: ...
Error: I like it when your sad.
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Random Person: Wow I’m surprised that those idiots haven’t gotten hurt yet.
Nightmare: ...Idiots?
Nightmare: *turns around*
Nightmare: wait....
Nightmare: *sees that his crew is doing idiotic shit*
Nightmare: THOSE ARE MY IDIOTS-
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Geno, to the the others: Imagine that someone gives you a box with something in it that you lost during your life.
Ink: Wow! My mental stability, where did you find it?
Dream: My sanity! I haven't seen this in years!
Blue: I knew I'd lost that happiness somewhere!
Geno: ...
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Geno: I swear one of these days I will grab your neck with both of my hands and break it.
Reaper: How? You cant even reach it.
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Error: I cant believe we are stuck in this room together!
Ink swallowing the key: Yes truly unfortunate.
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Dream: Im sorry, what are you supposed to be again?
Ink: Im going as me...
Ink: But sexier.
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Dream: Im not mad, I just want to know why you guys would need a fake ID.
Ink: *incoherent mumbling*
Dream: what?
Blue: You need to be over 18 to hold the pets at PetCo...
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Ink: Attention crew, this is your captain speaking, we’re about to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. Blue just betted that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say that i’m about to be 20 bucks richer real soon.
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Cross: Did you bring the sun boy?
Killer: What?
Cross: You know, the star sans that makes you giggle all the time.
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Blue: What are you 5?
Ink: Yeah, five heads taller than you!
Blue:
Ink:
Ink: Im sorry please dont kill me—
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Nightmare: What are we doing?
Cross: Wasting our lives.
Nightmare: I meant for lunch.
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Dust: He died of natural causes.
Horror: You pushed him off the roof...
Killer: Gravity is natural.
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Nightmare: At least im going to die doing something that I love.
Error: And that is?
Nightmare: Dying.
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Blue: How long are we going to stand here and let him keep doing that?
Dream: Just give him a minute.
Ink: *pushing on a door that clearly says pull*
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Dust: Everyone knows the four steps of being apart of the Bad Sanses.
Dust: 1. Make a plan
Dust: 2. Execute the plan
Dust: 3. Expect the plan to go horribly wrong
Dust: 4. Wing the hell out of it.
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Ink: Okay guys who painted the Mona Lisa?
Killer and Blue: Mona Lisa...?
Ink: No it was DaVinci....
Killer and Blue: DA VINKY....?!
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*playing truth or dare*
Horror: Okay...uh, Killer? Truth or Dare?
Killer: Dare.
Horror: I dare you to call Classic Sans’s, Papyrus.
Killer: Thats easy.
Killer: Siri call Pappy.
Siri: Calling “Daddy”....
Killer: WAIT NO- NO- NO!!
*Dreams phone rings*
Everyone: ....
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Dust: I didnt get that drunk last night.
Killer: Dude you literally started flirting with Blue.
Dust: So what? He’s my boyfriend.
Horror: You asked if he was single...
Cross: And cried when he said he wasnt.
Dust: I-
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Blue: I smacked a mosquito that tried to bite me, and I killed it.
Blue: Then i thought, “Its just trying to get its food.”
Blue: What if I tried to get food from the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck....
Blue: How would I feel?
Lust: Are you okay...?
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Nightmare: *spins around in a chair ominously* I’ve been expecting y—
Nightmare: *chair continues spinning* shit-
Nightmare: *tries to stop spinning* shit!
Nightmare: *tries to grab something to stop spinning* sHIT!
Nightmare: *falls out of chair* SHIT
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Lust under his breath: Future husband say what-
Horror: What?
Lust: [internal screams of joy]
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Horror: Wow Boss you’re smiling a lot did something good happen?
Nightmare: Can’t I just smile because I’m happy?
Cross sighing: Killer fell down the stairs.
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Ink: Okay, I have a plan but I need some help.
Dream: *spins a wheel with everyones names on it* Sci, its your turn.
Sci: Damn it.
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Blue: Would you slap Ink for 2 million dollars?
Error: I would roundhouse kick him in the face for free.
Dream: Same.
Blue: Guys-
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Killer: Hey Dream do you have two tongues in your mouth?
Dream: What? No.
Killer: Do you want to?
Dream: W-what-
Ink: What?
Blue: What?
Horror: What?
Dust: What?
Nightmare: WHAT.
Killer: wHaT- wHo sAiD tHaT?!
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Horror about to murder Dust for breaking his lego death star: I know what you are going to say... he’s my friend and I should try to get along with him-
Killer who helped build the lego death star: Oh no he’s crazy and needs to go down.
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Horror: I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Error: I put the fun in funeral
Blueberry: I put the D in Dust.
Killer: *chokes*
Dream: What-
Dust: You smooth little fuck.
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Ink (rolling unsteadily on heelys): JESUS TAKE THE WHEELYS—
Blue: INK NO-
Error: WHO GAVE HIM THOSE?!?
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Cross: If Nightmare kills us, Im going to get Horror’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the accordion so my ghost can annoy the hell out of your ghost.
Dust: I’ll just get Killers ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.
Killer: My ghost wont associate with your ghost.
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Horror: I did a bad thing...
Dust: Does it effect me?
Horror: No-
Dust: Than suffer in silence.
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Killer: Wait- so I could have just told Dream I was in love with him?!
Blue: I mean yeah.
Ink: What did you say instead?
Killer: I told him I was straight!
Dust: Killer, no ones going to believe that.
Killer: Oh thank god!
Ink: No one except Dream.
Killer: Shit.
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Nightmare: I feel only one emotion and that is anger
Killer: You drunk texted everyone of us a thousand heart emojis...
Nightmare: Out of anger.
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Horror: I need to get something off my chest-
Lust whispering to himself with crossed fingers: please say its your shirt- please say your shirt...
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Horror: *choking*
Dust: iM tRyiNg tO cALL 911! But the 9 isn’t working!
Killer: Just flip your phone upside down and use the number 6!!
Horror stopping his choking for a second: what the f-
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Killer: Have you been yelled at by Nightmare yet?
Cross: I’m not scared of him.
Killer: So thats a no-
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Geno: Wait. Are you flirting with me?
Reaper: Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.
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Nightmare: Do any of you know how to drive?
Dust: Does it look like we had our lives together enough to learn how to drive?
Cross: I mean- I played Grand Theft Auto before...
Nightmare: Alright that works, Killer got us a van. Lets get going.
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Nightmare: *Locks Dust in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Dust: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?
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Nightmare: *Answers phone.* Hello?
Cross: It's Cross.
Nightmare: What did he do this time?
Cross: No, it's me, Cross. It's actually me.
Nightmare: What did you do this time?
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Nightmare: Fuck capitalism. It's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.
Nightmare, playing Monopoly: Sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.
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*Sci and Fell are in Paris.*
Sci: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?
Fell: But...
Sci: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...
Fell: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?
Sci: Yeah.
Fell: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.
Sci: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.
Fell: Okay, alright.
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Error, about Ink: He's speaking some kind of French.
Cross: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.
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Blue: How do tall people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?
Dust: Blue, it's four o'clock in the morning.
Blue: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?
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Dust: Damn, Sci, are you secretly cool?
Sci: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.
Dust: I do not.
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Error: Are you trying to seduce me?
Ink: Why, are you seducible
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Who the fuck--
Cross: Language!
Killer: Whom the fuck--
Cross: No.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer(or Cross): We both look very handsome tonight.
Dream (or Nightmare): You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."
Killer (or Cross): I couldn't take that chance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dram: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.
Ink: And you came to me?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: Between Error, Killer, Cross, and Ink -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
Dream: No one! They are my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
Blue: Ink?
Dream: Yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fell: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Sci: Aren't you forgetting something?
Fell: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Sci's forehead before running out.*
Sci (blushing a bit): No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horror: So what do you have planned for the future?
Killer:...lunch?
Horror: No, like long term.
Killer: Oh...um, dinner?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Person who just met Killer: What's wrong with you?
Killer: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: When you have lived with the Bad Sanses as long as I’ve had you develop thick skin.
Ink: Blue is not your color.
Killer: BLUE BRINGS OUT MY NONEXISTENT EYES YOU JERK-!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: You’re stupid.
Ink laughing: Is that all?!
Dream: Oh dont worry, give it time. It’ll eat at you.
[Later]
Ink: Am I stupid?
Blue: Just a little.
Ink: Damn him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Horror, just remember just because it can fit in your mouth. Doesn’t mean its food.
Horror: *spits out wrench*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: Oh my god, guys...Santa...he wont be able to reach us this year!
Ink: Um Blue-
Dream: Ink, I know what you are going to say, and im gonna stop you right there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cross: Nightmare can you call the Bad Sanses over, they arent listening.
Nightmare: Why? I’m not their mother.
Cross: Just do it.
Nightmare: Ugh, fine whatever.
Nightmare: GUYS! Get over here!
The Bad Sanses: *immediately runs over to Nightmare and are lined up like ducklings following their mother.*
Nightmare: I-
Cross:
Nightmare: Wait- no! I-im not! Listen... LISTEN! Im not their-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lust: Name three things that would ruin a first date.
Ink: I- uhm, Shitting my pants-
Geno: saying I love you.
Dust: Killing them.
Lust:
Geno:
Ink:
Dust:
Lust: Did this happen?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: You know, when I said yes to the Truce this is not what I expected to happen.
Dream: You and me both brother.
Blue and Dust: *almost burning down the kitchen*
Ink and Error: *having a contest on who can eat the most sweets before throwing up*
Lust and Horror: *watching the chaos and doing some wholesome flirting*
Sci, and Fell: *their experiments blowing up half the time*
Cross and Killer: *screaming on the railing of the second floor*
Geno: *passed out on the couch*
Reaper: *floating over Geno*
Nightmare and Dream: ....
Nightmare: Is it too late to return them all?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reaper, covering the phone to talk to Geno (or Lust take your pick): I'm talking to my credit card company. I tried to get an online subscription to the New Yorker and they declined me. Apparently, based on my previous purchases, they assumed it was fraud. That's crazy. I'm fancy. One time I had coffee-flavored ice cream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!
Horror: It's kind of complicated, but Kill-
Nightmare: Got it. Forget I asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink, who is not named Kyle: So I said to myself: Kyle-
Blue: Wait, Kyle?
Ink: That's what I call myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sci: Lust, where have you been? You left your cell phone in your desk and I assumed you were dead.
Lust: Uh, I would clearly be buried with my phone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Watching a horror movie.*
Fell: Are you scared?
Sci: In this economy who wouldn't be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: I have edge.
Dust: You really don't. You are literally the most wide-eyed person I've ever seen. You have the face of a cartoon lamb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: Just be yourself, say something nice.
Ink: Which one? I can't do both.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Horror: There's nothing that can dent our impenetrable bond.
Dust: I have a secret boyfriend.
Horror: You're dead to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fell: Classic, I think you should play the role of my father.
Classic: I don't want to be your father.
Fell: That's perfect. You already know your lines.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Did you notice how hot your brother has gotten?
Nightmare: *Glares.*
Killer: Because I have not!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sci: Everyone know what they're doing?
Lust: In general or the plan?
Sci: The plan, Lust.
Lust: *Sigh of relief.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer, Fell, Dust, Error, or Nightmare: How do people not swear??? Like where does their anger go?? How do they show their enthusiasm??? What if they stub their toe??? Like saying golly gosh isn't really going to cut it Barbara.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: *Playing out of tune guitar.*
Error: Hey, you take requests?
Ink: Sure.
Error: Please stop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fell: What's your biggest fear.
Classic: Being forgotten.
Fell: Damn that's deep.
Fell: Mine is the Kool-Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reaper: *Texts Geno about what kind of teddy grahams they want.*
Geno: Honey.
Reaper: Yea wassup.
Geno: Just realized u was saying the flavor you wanted. Not addressing me endearingly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*In the chip aisle at Walmart, doing a late-night grocery run.*
Cross: *Minding my own business, looking for tortilla chips.*
Cross: *Finds tortilla chips.*
Dream, to Ink: See, he knows what he's here for. He knows what he's doing. Be more like him. MAKE A DECISION, INK.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: Is 4 a lot?
Horror: Depends on the context. Berries? No. Murders? Still no. Ex’es? Yes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fell: Be careful.
Classic: I always am.
Blue: I respectfully disagree.
Horror: I don't think any of us are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sci: I wasn’t sure what kind of chocolates you liked so I got them all.
Fell: Sci... there are like 300 boxes here.
Sci: I panicked, okay?!?! Valentine’s can be very stressful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blue: Alright I need you to swear-
Ink: Fuck!
Blue: AS IN PROMISE-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Killer: So, I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast.
Dust: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
Killer: Breakfast burrito, but yeah.
Dust: I pity your dentist.
Killer: Joke's on you. I don't have a dentist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dream: Oh, babe. I didn't want whipped cream.
Killer: Well let me fix it for you, babe.
Ink: And this isn't soy.
Error: Sucks to be you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nightmare: [Pointing at the broken coffee machine.] So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Dream: ...I did. I broke it.
Nightmare: No. No you didn't. Dust?
Dust: Don't look at me. Look at Horror.
Horror: What?! I didn't break it.
Dust: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Horror: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Dust: Suspicious.
Horror: No it's not!
Reaper: If it matters, probably not, but Lust was the last one to use it.
Lust: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Reaper: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Lust: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Reaper!
Dream: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Nightmare.
Nightmare: No! Who broke it!?
Horror: Nightmare...Geno's been awfully quiet.
Geno: REALLY?!
[Everyone starts arguing.]
Nightmare: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty/sixty bucks?
Nightmare: Two thousand, four hundred and thirty seven dollars.
Ink: Dollars?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ink: I guess that's your new best friend now, Dream. Emphasis on "Iago," backstabber.
Dream: I'm surprised you've read Othello.
Ink: What the hell's Othello? I'm calling you the parrot from Aladdin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lust: Reaper, don't take this the wrong way, but, you're insane.
Geno: That may well be, but the fact is, it wouldn't kill us to meet some new people.
Reaper: For the record, it could kill us to meet new people. They could be murderers or the carriers of unusual pathogens. And I'm not insane, my mother had me tested.
Lust: Reaper you’ve never had a mother-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lust: Why are you crying?
Some random person: Because I'm stupid.
Sci: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#kreme#crossmare#incorrect quotes#sanscent#dustberry#scifell#bloodlust#horrorlust#errorink#driller#kream#dream sans#ink sans#swap sans#star sanses#bad sans gang#geno sans#afterdeath#Reaper Sans#cross sans#lust sans#sci sans#error sans#nightmare sans#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder sans#sans#undertale
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watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.
feelings.
very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful
anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start
in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr
listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?
For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies
i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics
fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service
slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it
wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0
i lov them
through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart
in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back
my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think
no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.
some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART
lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him
being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize
wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top
that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.
It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss
fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-
and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy
i have Learned. caves = gay.
accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)
the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it
early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin
EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.
i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance
baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)
jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"
jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry
lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((
up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all
seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez
that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir
would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE
when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious
all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them
hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)
its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
they are SO insufferable pleeeeease
in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”
in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.
the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss
the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)
ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok
you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!
jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)
i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.
the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic
and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic
i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon
and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*
The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears
wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh
me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”
its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ
everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice
ngl the sword flying looks very dumb
“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;
the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes
untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo
related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious
and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof
and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )
highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.
lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((
on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn
also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'
when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///
hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss
they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad
when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN
so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted
even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf
wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)
the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid
wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)
LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k
take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood
zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth
cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!
wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn
everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??
showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.
justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁
jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief
my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession
the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.
“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”
"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd
also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice
yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON
they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((
wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer
both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w
;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all
wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience
the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected
on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY
lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;
they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together
also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy
wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation
did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins
jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;
i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .
im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA
when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair
also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point
sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?
wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"
unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)
and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.
jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say
i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-
i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE
a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:
SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’
literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour
babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That
(not that the pain is over LOL)
lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’
“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......
and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.
THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY
great now i made myself sad
and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??
JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.
and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it
enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏
jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him
babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future
one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks
wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺
so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh
a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad
her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao
its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.
like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby
and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”
anjo sensato :(
xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...
the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof
song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.
wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.
THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change
should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells
the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is
u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever
BAT WEN NING
wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’
(they didnt) (yet)
DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.
i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again
also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever
mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy
also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious
i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something
jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he
the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”
in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT
oh my god oh my god
the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead
lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞
also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck
i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...
poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'
ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth
wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.
ME ON THE OTHER HAND"
the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*
"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard
not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho
i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...
re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?
idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling
i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again
jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god
and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night
i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not
jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'
the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl
never trust a dude with a fan.
nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!
when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.
and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy
netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)
the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........
there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.
that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*
#m.#ANYWAY#ENOUGH TALKING#THIS IS SO LONG#LOL#but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want#rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql#untamed#the untamed#fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough#also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo#IT WAS V SHOCKING#i did not recognize him at a l l#but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice
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S4e10 is the first time i want to actually rewatch an entire episode of handmaids tale.... ok wait second time - was it the new “ofglen” who blew up that important building with all the commanders inside and the handmaids outside - that ending was great
But omg
First off elizabeths moss’s acting!!! Ive gotten too used to that same dreadful look shes been making for the past couple seasons that... the wide range of facial expressions really surprised me and it just!! Wow
the suspence the whole episode. Nothing EVER goes right in this show. I knew what i wanted to see but i fully expected fred and serena to go free and happy. That back and forth feeling was super engaging
I loved that even though there was that tension between june and moira before, moira jumped right back to trying to fight and doing all the screaming and ranting for june - someones gotta do it and june was too mentally exausted
K like im still confused why everyone can go in and out of the waterford prison so easily and was like.... dooooo they want june to kill him?!?!? Why are you leaving her alone???
And i was so excited like yesssss shes gonna kill himmm - well first i thought she was gonna go to serena and kill her baby
But when she was walking around that room... like a cat pretending not to notice the mouse in the room - we just know june too well to think she wasnt at least planningggg something
Also fred is fucking DISGUSTINGGGGG as usual. Lying during his ... conference like WHY are you just gonna beleive this psycho at face value?!
Oh and serena thinking shes got all the power back.
Omg the two of them. I cant
And fred really being such a fucking disgusting person to think ANY part of june enjoyed his torture. She is so strong dude - i could never sit there not knowing if my plan will work and playing nice. I thought she was gonna break that glass and stab him
And like. Ok. Lukes not the worst but also - his whole - just get over it!!! Attitude.... even if she cant get him on the wall why are you reprimanding her and trying to pretend she can just get over that trauma with some food. Absolutr lack of empathy.
But june saying hes gonna be on the wall... i was so giddy!!
And i rewatched that smile she made when larence told her she hanst lost her touch- well she could barely contain her smile throughout that entire negotiation. And i loved watching larence put on a show like ‘ah we rlly miss waterford! My brother!!’
Gah and just. Also... i kinda thought june was gonna kill mark when she was outside his building. Men in this show. She went through 7 years of hell and you told her youd help and fucked her over and then throw an entire dramatic tempertantrum when she calmly sits on a bench near your house.... lol wow..i mean uncomfortable but have some prespective
And i wanna say the like demand straight to - oh im sorry. Didnt mean to he a cunt - i meant please? Act june did, its not overacting but knowing june it is so it was funny af
The suspence watching fred get ready to go.., i was literally chanting for the plane to be to gilead but it was so much better! Watchint him get arrested all shocked. “Im a man! I have rights” all the fucking ew... open the door back up and slap him
I just thought he was gonna get sent back and wed watch the commanders all hang him. But it to be lawrence - again with his ‘oh? Is there anything i can do to stop this? No? Ok bye fred!’
And i mean i knew we were in for a treat with nick taking him but i was NOT EXPECTING JUNE to just POP OUT of the trees!!! Fucking perfect. A literal horror movie just for fred
Also why did he keep calling nick son.... like... no one likes you???? Do you really think you can regain power just saying words like this???
And this is e first time i fucking LOVED seeing june in a red coattt and her faceeee like last episode when she turned from calm to screaming - it wad so good and so intense and such good acting and that heartbeat music got me
But hereeeee i cant even desribe the combination or rage and calmness pouring out. Not to be a weeb but thats the first time i think ive ever seen a live action representation of how i imagine anime cool characters to act
That power play of nick and june making out in front of fred loool - i dont care about the ships but that was perfect
“This is sick” - whats sick is how you never run out of things to do and say that make me feel sick...
I loved how june told him to choose - i feel like jt was a call back to his lawyer saying that she CHOSE to be a handmaid. Like theres not good option here
Does anyone think she actually would have shot him dead IF he did choose the gun - part of me wants an alterantive ending where he chose that just so i could watch june either tell him ‘no thats too easy’ or like shoot him in the foot so he cant even run right before being like
Oops i missed and chasing him down anyway
I hate horror movies but watching them all chase him down UGHHH IVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH GLEEE - k not never but ya know
OMG ALMOST FORGOT that sceneee with june and emily talking at the table about how june wants him to be scared to death. And fucking luke - with his judgements turning and looking. I feelll like.... emily helped june decide to do this. Because after getting to the end of the episode it seemed more like they were planning in plain sight in thay scene
I havent rewarched the show. So maybe im remembering incorrectly but it does feel like this fits because - wasnt emily kind of what inspired june to actively start rebelling when she drove the car around and ran one of the guards over
Anddddd the songggg from the 1st? Or 2nd??? Season. The ending right? I just remember that the last time we heard that song was when june first started a quiet resistance against gilead and all the handmaids were together in it. So it brought back those feelings of like ‘FINALLY its happening!!’ And it fit soooo perfectlyyy
When the girls first ran up to fred i thought they were gonna surround him and reinact that “shame” thing they used to be forced to do. I mean i guess they did without actually saying it cause they definitely killed him the way gilead forced the handmaids to kill people in the first season
And it was wonderful to watch! Thank you handmaids tale for making me feel like a psychotic sadist for enjoying that ENTIRE scene. I was giggling like i was watching a disney movie
Gonna ignore that part where june picks up the baby covered in blood - ew
I wanted to seeeeee serena get the finger - more so - i wanted to watch tha family come in and get her and be like - hey guess what your coming back to gilead!!! And see it end with serena as a fucking handmaid - GIVING BIRTH TO THE BABY BETWEEN (i forget the one who visited hers name) LEGS!
But fuck seeing fred on a wall with the “dont let the bastards grind you down” from the the very beginningggg - it felt sooo goodddd
And i just needed to squeal over this episode some more! I watched it hours ago. But i kinda wanna rewatch it rnn
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Mandalorian & Flyboy
A/N: yes I know that other Mandalorians can take their helmet off but lets just say that reader cannot
Word count: 3.4k
As the war against the first order dragged on rumors about where the information gained on the first order started to pop up. When communication officers let it loose that there hasn't been any major intelligence missions in over 6 months. Rumors of a spy in such deep cover that the resistance cant even know, others of the information being bought from outside sources, Poe himself is caught listening into the base gossip. When he asks Leia she just shrugs it off going back to the task at hand. If he didnt know how good of a lier the General is he would have just let is slide, he kinda did shaking off anyone who asked the elite Commander what he thought just continuing with missions ‘The information isn't putting us in danger so why think about it’ he remembers remarking to a group of newer pilots when they again were asking about the rumors.
The idea almost completely left his mind when he caught a glimpse of Painted Beskar retreating into the forest from a back entrance of the hangar where he was working on small repairs to his x wing, it took a few seconds for him to process what he saw, or thought he saw; A Mandalorian some of the best warriors in the galaxy but very few are left they have become more of myth some believing that they are all gone. A possible mandalorian sneaking out of the base… the General. “Fuck!” he exclaims shooting up running to the general’s quarters expecting to see the worst he burst in only to see the General looking over a data pad “poe is there a reason you are bursting into my quarters at this hour?” she asks he sputters “I-I there was someone who left your quarters that i had never seen before” he breathes out putting his hands on his waist “I wanted to make sure you were ok” he nods now feeling slightly embarrassed “Poe no one was in here, get some sleep you have been working to hard” leia says calmly shooting poe from her quarters.
Poe left to his own quarters even more confused he could have sworn that he saw someone, something, leave from the base but tried to put it to the back of his brain ‘I am just tired’ he repeats in his mind going through the motions to go to sleep; which is just pulling off his clothes throwing them over on a chair in his room then flopping onto his bed. He fell asleep but it was almost like his head just hit the pillow when the morning call came out over the loudspeaker waking him up. He goes through the motions of getting up and ready BB-8 rolling around waiting for Poe, as a commander he was ordered to a mission briefing it was based on new information on trade routes used by the first order. Hearing this poem\ is thinking again about what he saw last night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Poe decided that he wanted to get to the end of this person that has been in his mind, once a week he watched from behind his X-wing when a Mandalorian snuck into base went to where the general’s quarters where for about an hour then would sneak back out. Then the next day he would have a meeting about new information on a different topic. He finally had enough after a month and a half of watching the Mandalorian in there painted and dirty beskar mysteriously come and go in the base he went to the leia to get answers without starting even more rumors not everyone like mandalorians seeing them as brutish or savage like bounty hunters who care on of credits.
After a mission brief he stayed behind as everyone except Leia left “General” he asked, gaining her attention from the holotable “Yes Poe is there something you need?” “Well yes, who is the Mandalorian I keep seeing leave the base” he cringed at himself at being so brash. Leia let out a sigh shaking her head slightly “it seems you met my new opritave” “He is resistance?” “SHE is a bounty hunter and informative as to what is going on in the underworld” leia explains briefly not giving up to much information “Why work with bounty Hunters how do we know she isn't just selling our information to the first order” he responds confused “the first order along with the empire killed off most of the mandalorians and mandalore, those who survived mostly don't want to work for the first order unless they really need the credits. And i know her she may be in a dark line of work but her heart is true” leia turns off the holotable going to leave the conference room also leaving poe with new questions ‘why are you helping the resistance; how much are you getting paid’ the resistance already has low funding so how are you getting paid at all ‘have you done anything else than just gain information for the resistance' poe could feel himself get frustrated with this and mentaly decides that he is going to talk to the Mandalorian and get some answers.
When it came time for your weekly meeting with Leia you transferred the information into her data terminal while chatting with the general, more like she talked and you listened, nodded or gave small replies. As you leave the hairs on the back of your neck standing up, someone is near, your strides pick up slightly leaving the base of your ship. Taking the long way to your ship you catch a glance of someone following you so hiding behind a tree waiting for the assailant to walk past you, just like baiting a trap he walks past you and in and instant you grab him putting the man into a choke hold while holding your trusted baster to the side of his head.
“Why are you following me” The distorted voice grunts through her helmet, poe puts his hands up in surrender “I just want to talk i've been watching you come and go and i just want to know who you were” he chokes out looking in his peripheral vision and is met with an emotionless visor staring back. You losen the grip on his neck dropping your arm but only to search his body for a blaster “i didnt come armed im not stupid your a madalorian” a dejected sigh is herd through the helmet as you go to sit om a fallen tree and motions with your blaster towards a stump near her. Poe gets the message and sits there is a silence when she finally takes a deep breath “i you are just going to stare i have better things to do” “Wait not, shit ok, i'll just be straight forward, Why are you helping us, the resistance; bounty hunter normally don't care about any of this just about what keeps their pockets filled” You are visibly irritated by the off hand comment about bounty hunters “I am not most Bounty hunters, but it seems you are like most flyboys nothing more than moof milkers who think just because they can fly a star fighter they are important” The mandalorian stands holstering her blaster “be glad i didn't put a hole in you fly boy” You growl out stomping away to your ship.
Poe sat there cursing himself he just insulted a mandalorian, not just any a really hot, resistance fighting Mandalorian “leia is going to kill me”
Poe thought it was safest to stop watching you when you came to the base not wanting to anger you more. Until he was asked to meet with Leia on the day you make your drops. He knew it wouldn't be good so when he walked in to see the general and you sitting there you more just leaning against the wall your visor felt like it was staring into his soul “Poe i thought you should properly meet our friend after your stint in the woods” she says almost standing between the two of them “how?” “I told her moof milker” You snear “(Y/n)” Leia scolds the mandalorian. “If you are going to be so interested in my dealings enough to follow her to her ship you might as well know who she is to the resistance” she continues “(Y/N) here is a bounty hunter and spy for the resistance her father helped with taking out groups of imperial loyalist shortly after the fall of the empire.” as she started talking about her past briefly he looked over her leaning form her armor had blue grey paint over parts of her helmet, her shoulder pauldron had a mud horn on it, the rest of her armor was silver beskar that was slightly worn from years of use and he can see the top of a pack that matched the silver beskar partially covered but and small cape. “She is here to help us gain information on the first order without having to put our numbers at more risk, she can get more done than a full squad of fighters can and we don't have the numbers anymore.” “I can also get places you can’t” you grunt out and stands walking over to stand in front of poe looking him up and down behind your helmet and thinking ‘he isn't to bad looking’ “(Y/N) Djarin” you sat curtly “since you are so interested in my work why don't you join the general in my drops” poe can hear the smirk that is placed on your face before you walk out of the room surprisingly quiet for how much armor you are wearing he stared as you left amazing by your voice and thinking over your name in his head “Close your mouth dameron before you catch flies; you are dismissed” she calls out to the dazed pilot shaking her head. Poe just nodded taking a deep breath walking to his quarters BB-8 was waiting outside of the door waiting for his master “Hey buddy” he starts to talk about you to his little buddy “an her name- buddy her name is so pretty” he says dreamyly
Over the next few week he started going to meet the general and (Y/N) he even started to talk to her outside of the meetings walking back to her ship and a few transmissions here and there at first it was just him rambling and you putting your input in here and there but as you got closer you started opening up your family growing up losing your mother at a young age and traveling with your older yet younger brother and father then when he settled down and took off the helmet for good and you put it on changing some things slightly. Talking about visits to your dad and brother between work was the thing that got you really talking, only stopping when you realized you had reached your shipe 5 minutes ago. Poe found out that for a scary bounty hunter you are a dork and he loves it when you realize you have no idea how to truly socialize with anyone that isn't your family or poe. He prides himself on the small chuckles and breathy laughs he can get out of you. If he didn't know better he would think that this flyboy had a shot with this badass woman he has fallen for following her around like a lost dog whenever he could.
You had started to come to base more than just once a week for Poe so when you and him out in the forest surrounding the base and you both hear explosions and the tell tale signs of Tie’s you both jump up running towards the base. It is the First Order they found the base and was able to surprise attack the base X-wings were already scrambling to get in the air. Poe calls for BB-8 while running to his X-wing jumping in getting into the air.
Stormtrooper transport land and whole battalions of troopers unload the battle is in the air and on land You use your two blasters and jet pack to take out hoards of troopers. Once landing you hold out your arm activating your vambrace flamethrower keeping the troopers away from you one shoots you the blaster deflecting off of your shoulder pauldron then you deliver a front kick to another while almost nonchalantly shooting two more troopers. Over the speakers a coded message rings out that was the message to retreat most officers fall back to get onto transports and get hasmany supplies and important information as possible. You try to give as much time as possible to the resistance to get to safety you picks up a larger blaster that one of the dead troopers had and used to to hit more enemies as possible you watch out of the corner of your eye three tie fighters chasing a familiar Black and orange X-wing before the Ties shot it down and it goes down into the forest “No!” you yell, shooting the last troopers she can and take off running towards the towers of smoke rising in the trees.
You run as fast as possible to the crash site hoping Poe is ok. When you get there it is not a pretty sight flames almost cover the entire ship you pull open the cockpit and your eyes widen poe is limp in his seat you pull out your vibro blade form your boot using it to cut him out of his harness pulling him out of the wreckage and presses the button to release his droid pulling him as far from the wreckage right before the ship blows and you cover his body with yours grimacing as shrapnel imbeds itself into the spaces between the plates of armor. Once the explosion stops and it's safe you look down at poe blood blossoming on his abdomen and body “poe” you call out trying to shake him awake; he just shakes limply under your hands you reach to feel a pulse but you can't sense anything “No Poe wake up” you call out tears welling in your eyes blurring your vision “It's not funny poe come on wake up” your voice breaks and you try to do chest compressions anything but nothing changes. BB-8 watches as you try to recestate Poe and responds with sad beeps missing his master. You ripp of the helmet and you feel like it's suffocating you as tears stream down your face mixing with the dirt and sweat on your face. You have felt pain but nothing like this sobs rake your body shaking with pain gripping onto poe “You- You can't do this to be dameron, you can't leave me now” you are blubbering now not caring if any one sees you it feels like a part of you had died.
“You- Fuck- Your so beautiful even- e-even with tears” Poe rasps out barley awake staring at your face contort to confustion then passing back out.
Hearing him makes you jump up grabbing your helmet, slipping it on and then picking up poe running calling out to BB-8 “Come on we gotta get back to my ship!” You jump over logs, adrenaline coursing through your veins pushing your body to its limits, not caring how much you are gonna hurt in a few hours, just focused on saving power. You see your ship and slow reaching to press the button on your brace to open the cargo door and run up the ramp placing him on the floor knowing it's not the most comfortable but not caring, pulling your helmet back off you rush to grab the box filled with medical supplies and pulling out bacta patches, stim shots, and the emergency cauterizer.
You pull off his tsttered clothes striping him down to just boxers and looks for the worst wounds on his abdomen and thigh injecting a stim shot then going in with the cauterizer working on shutting the wounds glad that he wasn't awake for this part the smell of blood and burning skin isn't new to you but knowing it's him makes you sick but once you sealed all the major wounds you placed bacta patches on them then using bacta spray on everyone else. You sit there for a second looking over your work then staring at his face it looks calm but it doesn't have the wrinkles from his smiles or the look in his eyes what she watches from behind her visor so seeing it without it is something else. Her com link in her brace goes off and she scrambles to grabs her helmet then connecting, a relieved sigh leaves her mouth it was leia “I'm glad you made it” leia says with somber undertones “(Y/N) i'm sorry to say but we haven't been able to contact dameron he was the only pilot we can't account for he might not have made it” she says sadly he was like another song to her leia was keeping it together for the sake of the resistance “i know he got shot down by three tie i was able to get him and BB-8 out before his ship exploded “ she explained and watched as a new hope filled the general’s eyes “that is amazing how is he’ you sigh looking down at poe now noticing the slight rise and fall of his chest “ he is knocked out now but once he wakes up i will know more” she explains “How did they find you” You ask now no emotion present in your voice back to being a mandalorian “i don't know we are trying to figure that out but for now get off world and lay low until we can find a new base” Leia says with a sigh “take care of him ok” you nod “always” you sign off and go back to poe looking over him before getting into the cockpit of your own ship and old imperial command ship you had found for cheap and fixed up yourself. Once in hyperspace you come back out to see poe stirring, you quickly kneel down next to him as he opens his eyes “where am i” he looks around frantically until he sees you “(Y/N) he says softly reaching for you “what happened” he asks “you where shot down; i got there just in time before your ship exploded” you explain watching as he grabs onto the bottom of your helmet “i- i saw your face” he says almost unsure “i thought i lost you; you weren't breathing you were gone” your vision went blurry whether that was from tears or the blood loss of your untreated wounds you didn't care and neither did poe as he lifts up your helmet slowly almost waiting for you to stop him… you don't he drops it with a clang and sits up you are quick to help him. He takes your face in his hands staring at you with so much love and emotion in his eyes that he starts crying also “you are so beautiful” he whispers leaning in to kiss you; you meet half way and the kiss is explosive full of passion and sorrow for what could have been lost he moves his hands down the side of your neck to the back pulling you in closer your hands hold onto his cheeksIt is not a pretty kiss it is dirty and sweaty your tears mixing on your cheeks at they are pressed together, the only reason you separate is to breath and even then your foreheads are touching “you are the first person other than my family that has seen my face since i was 11” you whisper out looking deep into his eyes. He smiles rubbing soft circles into the sides of your face “I'm glad you are just so beautiful. I love you so much, i have fora while you are so complex in all the best ways you are anamazing warrior badass in every way but so soft spoken adn dorky i would die a thousand times if it means i can see your face” he confesses tears start filling your eyes again and his voice breaks with emotion “I love you too, your snarky hummor and being dumb enough to follow a mandalorian in the woods; i knew you were the one and as long as i am arround you are not dying” she responds softly leaning in again to kiss him. Maybe it wasn't horrible that one person saw her face.
#poe dameron#Poe dameron x reader#Poe Dameron x you#poe dameron fanfiction#mandalorian#Mandalorian reader#Star Wars fan fiction#Star Wars x reader#din djarin x reader#Mandalorian x reader
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Addictive Drug
Ushijima W. x Reader
Masterlist || Previous || Next
3) Down To Business
After officially joining the bosses side and becoming a temporary member of the Japan’s Agency, the boss finally told you what was and is happening.
“A drug dealer? Cant you guys easily cut that off?” You said looking at your nails.
“Easier said than done” the boss said getting up and looking out his office window. “My two boys, the best of the best failed to cut them off. We need your help.”
You scoffed. “Maybe they aren’t the best after all” you mumbled.
Ushijima felt his blood boil at your rudeness. Tendō noticed this and pat his friends back. Obviously telling him to “let it go”.
“The drug dealer behind this all has been nicknamed the Big Man.” The boss said giving you a piece of paper. “Also by the looks of it, he has a sidekick with him”
You scanned the paper. It had pictures of what the two people have been doing. It also had descriptions of them. There was also a photo of the big man. When you looked at it, your eyes widened.
“Are you okay?” The boss asked you.
You quickly looked up from the paper and nodded. You then continued to look at the paper. It reminded you of someone from the past. After a moment of silence, the boss sighed.
“I’ve done some snooping around and found that someone local may know the big man. He works at a car dealership and is pretty successful” He said while showing you three his computer. “His name is Yosho Ayashi”
On the computer it showed the car dealer ship with the guy posing with a thumbs up. After the boss let you guys take a glance, he turned his computer away and spoke again.
“I need you three to try to get that man and bring him back to me. We need as much info as possible. No matter what.” He then gave each of you an earpiece to wear.
“Wear these. You guys should be able to communicate. I suggest coming up with a plan too.”
You looked at the boys then nodded. When the boss dismissed you all, you quickly took your ear piece and put it on.
“y/n what are you doing?” Tendo asked. Ushijima just stared at you.
“We need the info ASAP right? Lets get going then” You said continuing to do what you’re doing. “Ill be on my bike and-”
“no.” Ushijima cut in.
Everything went silent.
“What.” You said completely frozen.
“I said no. I need to keep an eye on you cause who knows what you’re capable of.” He said putting on his ear piece.
“Do you even trust me?”
“no. Also it’s the bosses rule”
You groaned and grabbed Ushijima’s tie. His eyes widened in shock and a bit of disgust. You just ignored his expression and begged him to let you ride your bike. After a long pause of silence from Ushijima, he gave in.
“Good, now that’s that settled, we need a plan” Tendo suggested.
While brain storming idea’s on what to do, you had an idea. It was simple to say the least. When getting to the dealership, you would pretend you’re trying to buy a car and lure Yosho into a different room. Preferably where the car of your choice is. While that’s happening, Ushijima and Tendo would be setting up everything to ultimately kidnap Yosho. After lurring Yosho into the right room, that’s where Ushijima and Tendo will come out of hiding.
After getting your plan approved by Ushijima and Tendo, you guys were off. You quickly grabbed your key’s and went on your bike. You already had the address for the dealership so it was ok. The boys car followed behind you.
When you got to the dealership, you parked your vehicle and waited for the boys. While waiting, you dug into your bag and found a lollipop. You unwrapped it and put it in your mouth to keep your busy for a bit. The flavor of it was also pretty good.
When the boys finally came, you quickly jogged to them and talked to them about what room you would be luring Yosho into.
“you guys saw the layout of the dealership right?” You asked them while looking at your lollipop.
“Yeah, you should go to the room where the motorcycles are, there's one in particular that is away from the others” Tendo suggusted.
“I saw that, ill lure him into that room, you guys know what to do right?” You asked them while putting the lollipop back into your mouth.
Both boys nodded.
“Good, ill see you guys later” You said turning around to walk away.
“Wait.” Ushijima said turning you back around and looking right into your eyes.
The way he looked at you made you have slight butterflies in your stomach. He was so close for what?
“Don’t have that.” He said grabbing your lollipop and putting it out of your mouth. “Its unprofessional” He then threw the lollipop somewhere.
At first you got mad but then remembered it’s not a good idea to have an outburst. So to cope you just mumbled to yourself and walked away from him. This was your time to act like a normal citizen.
When you got into the dealership, you took notice of how many people were there. After searching for Yosho for awhile, you found a guy that fit the discription. Quickly you went to Yosho and acted like a normal buyer.
“Excuse me sir” You said running up to him.
Yosho looked at you up and down then smiled. “Yes how may I help you?”
You batted your eyelashes and looked around. “Well im here for a thing and that thing only.” You said looking straight at him. “I need a new motorcycle. Something that will fit my taste... can you help me?”
Yosho nodded and turned around. “This way ma’am”
You silently cheered to yourself and followed after Yosho. He’s such a nice guy though he could be the devil in disgusted and you don’t know.
Meanwhile, Ushijima and Tendo were already inside the building looking for the room. When they found it, they quickly went inside and hid. While hiding, they got their hand cuffs ready for action.
~~~
“Over here we got the....” Yosho said but you ignored him and looked around for the room you were supposed to go in.
When you found it, you grabbed Yosho’s arm and pointed to where you wanted to go. “That room, can we go in there? Isn’t there like a super cool motorcycle in there?” You asked while titling your head.
Yosho sweatdropped and looked at the room you pointed at. He then nodded and walked away from you. You followed behind, secretly smirking to yourself.
When both of you were in the room, you quietly shut the door and creeped up on Yosho. His back was facing you. At the corner of your eye, you could see Ushijima and Tendo hiding.
When you got close enough, you jumped on Yosho and pinned him to the ground. Your legs were around him to secure him. You then grabbed his arms and put them behind his back.
“Stay fucking silent or ill have my boys do way worse” You said gripping his arms tighter.
Tendo and Ushijima ran out of their hiding spots and cuffed Yosho. After cuffing him, you got off of him and left Ushijima handle him because he was stronger than you.
“So it’s going to be this way huh y/n” Yosho smirked.
Your eyes widened. “How do you know my name?”
Yosho slightly laughed. Tendo and Ushijima looked at you in confusion.
“I know a lot of stuff about you. Even about you and Hayas-”
You cut him off by punching his face. “Shut up.”
Yosho coughed a bit then chuckled. “they are coming. They know you’re here.”
Tendo and Ushijima looked at your face. It was blank with some confusion. Who was coming? Who are they? Suddenly, a loud bang was heard from the door. It was followed by an a explosion.
Taglist:
@toaster-stick @lilidrawz
#anime#fanfic#fanfiction#haikyuu!!#Ushijima#wakatoshi#ushijima wakatoshi#Ushijima x reader#Ushijima x y/n#Ushijima x you#assassin#motorcycle#haikyu#animefic
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Oh shit, Homestuck 2 is back! Looks like the art team problems are getting worse, but maybe the writing’s good? Quick, recap of the story so far, since there was a hiatus
Previously, on Homestuck 2:
DIRK: I’m evil now and we’re on a new planet where we shall create our own lifeforms and rule them as gods
ROSE: I’m making memes and vaginas
DIRK: NOOOOO
ROSE: Jade got me preganté and we named our kid Yiffy and I kept it a secret from everyone this whole time, including my wife but inexplicably not the dictator I’ve trying to overthrow, who kidnapped her
JOHN: NOOOOO
CALLIOPE: I’m in ur bod drinking ur juice
JADE: NOOOOO
CALLIOPE: Oh, like you’re not used to having weird people inside you, skank
JADE: Wow, rude, I’m kicking you out of my brain for that
CALLIOPE: NOOOOO
JOHN: Man, I love how my son tells me everything and keeps no secrets
KARKAT: John! Vriska’s alive and she murdered the clown pope and your son is hiding her because he and his friends are wanted for treason
JOHN: ......
KARKAT: You’re supposed to say “NOOOOO”
John: Why would I? That fucking rules!
We now return to Homestuck 2
Yay, we’re finally seeing Davebot, Aradia, and Calliope. Fun fact: In a comic with like ten billion retcons and timeline splits, this Aradia is still the definitive “real” Aradia in a way no other character can claim to be (except Sollux), which is a fun endgame for a character who was introduced has having hundreds of thousands of duplicates. I can not wait to see how the HS2 writers ruin her. (Also, where did they get a rocket ship?)
Also it it me, or is there something a little off about this art?
DAVEBOT: beep boop
ARADIA: i have told you several times that i was a robot before and i know for a fact you dont have to say beep boop
DAVEBOT: hm that sounds fake does not compute
ARADIA: david
DAVEBOT: mom
“David”?
This is the first indication in the entire series that any of these kids’ names are short for anything, something Hussie explicitly said wasn’t the case but which was never actually addressed in the comic proper so I guess it’s not a plot hole. Still, it feels a little....wrong?
ARADIA: well we are both an infinite number of years old living countless lifetimes at once but thats no reason to waste any of our...
Wait, what?! Aradia is Ultimate, too? When did that happen?! Why does she not need a robot body?
DAVEBOT: time
DAVEBOT: say time
ARADIA: ...
DAVEBOT: time then make a weird face
There’s a fine line between “callback” and straight up recycling a joke.
ARADIA: would you say you are hung up on leaving your wife and friends behind
DAVEBOT: are you
ARADIA: am i hung up about leaving your wife and friends behind
ARADIA: i do not think that i am no
DAVEBOT: arent you even a little guilty about ditching your boyfriend
ARADIA: what
ARADIA: oh fuck
I do like the implication here that Aradia flat forgot about Sollux. Poor dude can’t catch a break. .
Ooh, an [S]. An extremely basic one, but still. Also, from this scene in the epilogues:
The distant sounds of war travel above the canopy of a forest. The artillery fire fades to a series of muted knocks and thuds as the sound waves cross beyond a thinning patch of the forest and arrive in a clearing of grass and shrubbery. Above, the sky is dramatic, colorful, menacing. The way it looks when a storm is coming. The clouds are wild, whipped into a sort of spatial frenzy, as if they know what’s imminent is no earthly phenomena. Aradia stands in the field, her mouth gaping wide. But not at the sky.
Probably the starkest example of how the epilogues presented Earth C has falling about and doomed and stormy and scary like the system crash in Reboot and Homestuck 2 has it all sunny and bright. I kind of wish HS2 kept the semi-apocalyptic feel of the epilogues, even if it made Aradia’s spurious decision to leave Sollux behind way more dickish.
Oh hey, God’s back, and back in the body of the OG pre-Retcon Jade Harley. There’s something very Shoujo about this posing.
DAVEBOT: thanks
JADE: They sit in each other's presence, the silence between them as meaningful as any words they could exchange.
DAVEBOT: its always really cool to hear how meaningful my silences are
DAVEBOT: especially while
DAVEBOT: CALCULATING
DAVEBOT: CALCULATING
DAVEBOT: especially while i am attempting to experience them
I think Calliope, and possibly Aradia, is shipping Dave/Aradia right now, which is a pairing that has some comedic appeal were it not for Dave’s gayness.
ARADIA: i think she looks quite lovely covered in the viscera of the all-powerful enemy she consumed
ARADIA: floating lifelessly in our periphery
We just established that this is months after they left Candyland. Has Jade’s body been covered in the blood and guts of Lord English this entire time? Take a goddamn shower, Jesus.
Oh, there we go. Much better. Also, the one thing I heard about this upd8 was all the discussion of jorts, and then Dave references jorts, but no one is actually wearing them, unless Aradia’s got a pair on under her cultist robes? (Also, is Calliope’s Jade body healed from the shard of reality that killed it originally, or is there just a huge hole under her shirt)?
JADE: As a point of curiosity-
ARADIA: oh shit!!!!
The dead Cherub possessing the body of an equally deceased Goddess of Space pauses at the interruption. Were she to voice her opinion, it would be that --actually-- it is not unusual for those whose primary concern is The Grander Scheme to have a passing curiosity about the insignificant. So when one really thinks about it, any annoyance with the attendant’s small mindedness is both understandable and warranted.
ARADIA: :(
Given how much time was spent on how Terezi can sense Dirk’s narration, I like how Calliope’s narration is literally just her talking out loud and everyone can clearly hear it and just assumes it’s like a troll quirk.
ARADIA: in this form our bodies stop aging once we reach maturity i think
ARADIA: the god tier keeps our physical form locked in a state of undying
ARADIA: even in death the bodies do not decay
ARADIA: only lay dormant
DAVEBOT: no thats boring
DAVEBOT: like how long have you been alive
JADE: yes, that one.
One of the things I don’t fully get about Calliope is why there’s stuff like this she doesn’t know. Another thing I don’t get: How come John and Jake are visibly middle-aged? They’re gods, too.
ARADIA: you were there too i threw your air conditioner into the sun
DAVEBOT: wow thats fucked up
DAVEBOT: thats not where that goes at all
JADE: these events are not-canonical.
ARADIA: rude
I believe this is a reference to Pesterquest?
DAVEBOT: is that the trope of being hundreds of years old but looking young forever patently sucks ass
DAVEBOT: a plot device an asshole would write
ARADIA: :(
JADE: that is not what i am trying to say at all.
DAVEBOT: hmm wow yeah thatd really be a sort of pot/kettle situation i guess
DAVEBOT: i cant believe im the only woke one here
DAVEBOT: its hard being such a visionary AND such a fine metallic specimen
What the fuck is David even talking about? What?
DAVEBOT: but can she see why kids love the sweet cinnamon taste of cinnamon toast crunch
JADE: i do not know, or care, what that means.
ARADIA: neither do i :)
I like the “Best Narrator” mug, and with this sudden headache to interrupt the laughter comes the end of the chapter and presumably a lead in to the next one when we’ll learn what’s blowing Calliope’s mind
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Fantasy High Rant (and why you should watch it)
Ok I got suggested this and I cant believe I've been sleeping on this series in the last two years. This series is freaking fantastic! I’m screaming.
Overview is this is a modern d&d fantasy land a la Onward Style, where we follow fantasy Scooby Doo gang as they try to solve the mystery of missing students while interacting with the fantastical citizens of Spyre.
I hella love it, because while it has such a great mystery of whats going on in the town, who is doing what and why, etc etc, and it just GROWS the more you watch it. You think it was something simple, but the conspiracy rabbit hole gets deeper and deeper. But to me the main pull is just seeing how our Party just interacts with everyone and each other. This is a very character driven series, which makes sense this is a d&d party, you have to get attached to the party if you want them to work together.
Fabian Seacaster: God he’s fun to watch. The rich kid high class type of character but is just has so much gusto. I love his relationship with his family, it’s adorable. He just adores his parents and his parents adore him back. Like Addams style adoration. He is a bit full of himself and arrogant and has a thing of living up to his father's legacy as well as his family name, but I think his arc is him learning that he doesn't have to define himself through his dad and can be his own person. Plus my favorite moments are him screaming “WHAT IS HAPPENING” because out of everyone he mostly the straight man dealing with people.
Gorgug: I just love him. He is just so sweet. He is just a gentle giant and confused all the time. I feel so bad that he keeps getting the shit end of the stick to save the rest of the party. Like the whole "stealing backpack" shit to basically set him up as the outcasts of outcasts. Granted I’m laughing my ass off when it happens, but he is just so anxious it’s cute. He is just very sweet and genuine, even if he is a little awkward. I also love him just asking if people are his dad lol he just wants to know. But when he rages he’s basically God-Tier Shaggy.
Fig: lol her angsty teenage years finding out she isn't who she thought she was. Tbf her dad basically said she was the reason for her parents divorce soooo take that as you will. Her being the "bad girl" but also very helpful when she can is great. Her flirtatious punk attitude, the winking, and rocking bard stuff. I low key like the idea of her being with Gorgug because of the moments in Barbarian class and giving him drumsticks. And I also like her with Fabian as just a wild cool kid power couple. Also her fucking with Goldenhoarde is the best with her being sexual,with him. Its super funny.
Riz: I freaking love him. Kid detective on the case. The business cards for friendship which I mean, makes sense. His goal from day one was to find the missing girls and babysitter. I'm sorry he has a poor house to use water cereal, but his mom just loves him and I think that’s sweet. His family is the coolest and he isn’t afraid to admit how cool his family is. But he has direction, he has a mission, and he does it with determination. Plus I love how he is The Ball and everyone is just going with it and now supports it. Him fucking with Fabian is great. And I'm glad he is reconsidering his life choices after meeting the AV kids.
Adaine: She needs help. The panicking one. I mean, her family,obviously looks down on her and she is literally jealous of all the other kids parents (love the gnomes). She is learning to find her own magic her own way and trying to shatter the expectation forced on her. God I support her just fucking people up, especially with Pixie Boy.She is just trying to deal with things which honestly this adventure is getting her to open up and not take shit. Character Arc: Don’t Take Shit.
Kristen: I’m just watching a train wreck here. Like she was 100% Helios all the way. But now it is just watching her questioning everything about religion after dying. Its amazing from looking into other religion herself and just how it ALL escalates from there as she is pulled further and further away from her religion and old life. Learning that how she was raised was just so fucked. Like I'm just seeing how far this goes and if she will pick another god instead or just not be a cleric anymore.
Also I'm like never going to post a completed version of this post because I’m way too fucking obsessed. I went from ep 8 yelling about Kristen’s religious life to episode 13 plot-twist end. I basically am physically restraining myself from watching episode 15 before I type this or else this will never be typed. I can literally go off about all the characters there is just so many good moments.
Basically, check out the show yourself. It’s on Youtube, it’s hilarious. Watching the reactions and faces is just so much fun to see. 100% recommend.
Now excuse me while I scream spoilers for episode 8/13/14 underneath:
Midway through Ep 8:
Ok it was fucking Kristen! Like not her obviously, but she was the hellmouth! She was the initial sacrifice! Demon-Dad Garthox said that the Hellmouth can be opened inside a person, and Goth Kid Blane was working for the Harvestmen Helios to get that page. And lo and behold the page was in the corn vat that Kristen's book was pushed into! Coincidence? I think not!
They thought that it was somehow Adaine's magic that caused it, or the very least it was the bully,guy who chucked Kristen's book in. But no, the page was already inside her book and fell into the corn! If bully ass McGee didn't hit the book out of her hands, then she might have been the victim! Which makes sense, why not have a follower of Helios bring the end times in His name.
Which means that it could be Daybreak or her parents that gave her the page in her bible for this.
God,is this what Helios meant when it "wasn't her time?" Because she is needed as the Hellmouth Sacrifice?
And this makes the whole "sneaking into heaven" part make sense now. If Aguefort was trying to be assassinated by Helios, he could sneak into Helios Heaven and spy on them from the afterlife. He's a weird ass man I'm sure he can pull it off.
Also Fig's Dad is hella cool and I totally love him for,trying to be a parent and mature about this. Fig is totally supportive of him and I love it.
Ok I'm going back to finish episode 8 I just REALLY needed to rant about that.
Screaming about Episode 13:
The oracle was going to return,if the country was in danger. It was but she was,kidnapped/killed on an illusion ship to stop,her. Rix dad is a spy and he was 100%,super dope about it and him just finding his family secrets I was just crying like, he found his legacy, his entire family was,badasses he was so happy and took up his dad's gun for justice. Like how cool is it for a goblin spy,being small and already default evil to infiltrate that is so clever. That is what gets me on this show,is that they take these cool setting and ideas and how they are twisted to fit the fantasy. Cops? Fantasy cops. Skateboarders? Fantasy skateboarders.
Which lets be real, I think the best battle where they really,worked together was during the skateboarders.
This mystery is building and building and I,guess Penelope is,trying to,be queen,via homecoming queen which is,weird and has a Sarah berry vibe to,it. Which is fucking nuts.
Now I’m wondering if nice guy,pixie actually was in on it day 1, or if he was turned over after he was "beaten" like the bad guys offered him a way to make his dream girls his 2D pets. Which, gross. But Biz part doesn't necessarily fit with the main plot. He obv isn't behind this.
Kalvaxus is a demon with money. His money needs to be destroyed. So they are funneling his money through the banks. They used his ship in disguise to kidnap/capture/kill the oracle to prevent her from returning, which she said she would if the country was in danger. Yes the religious Harvestmen wanted to start the apocalypse via Kristen, but ass-elf diplomat said it wouldn't really work, but it would break the treaty and start war. Kalvaxus. Coach Daybreak had control,on Zane, who had control over Johnny Spells to kidnap girls, and since Alwin had a spell to find "maidens/virgins" they need the girls, either as a sacrifice or as conduits to power the arcane source. Was all of this to raise Kalvaxus from hell to the mortal world? That would explain the power source at the arcade with the trapped girls, to keep the connection going. The only,thing I can think,as to why Penelope would be as high up as she is in this conspiracy is if Kalvaxus is her dad. Which I guess,everyone has dad issues in,this group.
Side note, I appreciate how Gorgug thinks himself as,dumb but gets really smart ideas and the whole party agreed they are smart. Like,he was the first to,put 2 and 2 together about Kalvaxus== KVX bank, even if he didn't outright say it.
All,the adults are really,enjoyable,to see. I fucking love Rix’s mom shes so cool. And Gilear is actually really,pitifully funny. I wouldn't think I would like,him as much after that first episode, but he is actually hilarious being the lunch lad and just trying his best.
Live Screaming Episode 14 (lots of incoherent):
fucking He'll Riz got the drop on Biz but he fumbled the attack with a nat1.
Ah shit! This is their shit! The prizes are the girls shit as trophies. Zelda headphones. Skateboard girl. You need to give the items back!!!
Fig's German Shepard patrol finally works out
And Riz is now in Penny's game, oh this hurts because this is the girl that he wants to help.
Biz is like a terrible chucky cheese mascot.
I love it when Fabian says "whats happening" because for all his rich person elegance his bafflement amuses me.
It's so sad to see these girls just be this, shadow of themselves. Like no personality at all.
Adaine does will with the divination rolls, I don't think I,could be able to,do this that well.
Damn they are taking the girls,into the power source, they need girl power. Literally.
Gorgug is just so sweet to call his parents for help. Too bad it didn't work. Its a gnome game, sweet.
damn this is a lot more dangerous than before. This is why we don't split the party.
Make Gorgug fly again that would be awesome. But Adaine flying is good too.
Riz using his gremlin powers to fuck up the parascepts from the inside is fucking amazing, why the hell is it funneling to the school.
Sucks that Fabian just kept running all the way out the building. But lets say Fabian having that motorcycle is just so op. Plus it called him Daddy let's not forget that.
Gorgug using the headphones with Zelda’s music is just so sweet and clever. See hes a simple man but very smart. Practical I think.
Lol only the guys got sucked into the game. No girls in video game.
The Bebe raises Gorgug’s rage. Riz is right: hot topic vs av nerds.
Where is devil dad, like he wasn't kidnapped or kidnapped figs mom or whatever right??? Like i get suspicious when people don't respond immediately.
OMG Gorgug is God Tier Shaggy.
Biz is doing the Fantasy Truffle Shuffle.
Cut his wings Gorgug!
Riz!!! Keep her here!!! FUCK!!! HE DIDN'T!!! Biz is soooo creepy.
Yes! Keep the ghosts so sad I would love the bag of holding but too bad it didn't work.
Gorgug’s parents are just so freaking sweet and supportive.
Hold shit Gorgug’s honesty got him double crit. That sucks but I lowkey hope he keeps the white hair.
That motorcycle is so op. But hes in a racing game with the hangman, at least he has an advantage.
Kristen's philosophers are just so op. I love how her religion is just searching for eternal knowledge.
NAT 20 THE NAT 20 FUCKING YES LETS GO RIZ JUST FLIPPING IT OFF AND SCREAMING FUCK YOU holy,shit that was funny. Too bad it was wasted on such a dumbass moment.
Just smashed the palimpsest that's how the owlbear popped out. Wow it was hilarious how biz popped out. But holy,shit Riz not even giving biz a chance as he starts shooting off fingers that’s amazing
I love them fucking with him because hes an ass. Oh, Alwin modify memory to make him think it was his evil plan. You know still fuck him tho. Ugh are those pictures. No. They know it was the group and photos of their house. Ughhhhh and now things are getting more dangerous,
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CUSTOMER SERVICE
E T S Y
Darling Fallon Sep 3, 2013
Sensational (sin-sational!). i write on behalf of myself (S) and my lover (m). we have been ripped off by bulk-produced molded hoods before and i can only say HAND CUT LATEX ONLY never look back!! worth the money and will eventually pay for itself. neck fit like loving glove and adds dynamic intensifier to breathplay. Lovely proprietor replied prompt when “m” had questions re: breathability (she added extra breathing hole at no extra cost). class acts all around (and not just in our dungeon!) will return for more but “m” needs a break first if u get the drift lol1!! thanks to lady j!
Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Latex Chrysalis Hood (translucent…
3 Helpful
myMister Aug 24, 2013
this one writes on behalf and with permission of MISTER. this one quaked with bliss when package arrived. truly awful to behold in the wise hands of MISTER. this one’s neck is small and delicate For His Pleasure and all item adjustments were made to order and did not affect shipping time. if this one could be so efficient For His Pleasure this one would be in heaven on earth. instead, this one is less than a hole. item truly enhanced <O sensation. without a doubt will be used over and over in this household for due punishments of this very worthless one. discrete pgk’ing. thanks to designer J for deepening this one’s service to MISTER.
(NOTE FROM MISTER – WILL PROPRIETER PLEASE PRIVATELY EMAIL TO DISCLOSE IF YOU ARE MALE/FEMALE/OTHER SO “myMister” (this one) WILL BE ABLE TO PROPERLY ADDRESS YOU IN ACCORDANCE WITH ITS FORMAL ROLE)
Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Throttle Collar w/ attached Gas…
1 Helpful
JulieJuice August 3, 2013
LOL rip-off!!! cant believe all u ppl sucking this guys dick. says everywhere in product descript. (and you guys reviews!!) that custom sizing is no additl. cost but mine cost more!! only small alteration to titty holes cause of my cleave situation. bullshit. not buying from him again.
Response from J
Hi again Julie. If you check our many enlightening inbox conversations from 7/5-7/16 you will be reminded the additional cost was due to your request of more ring hinge insertions as the standard amount in pattern block “was not bling enough”. Cleavage was irrelevant. Sizing related alterations are always no added cost. Custom alterations requiring additional materials/effort and adjusted pricing will always be discussed and approved on client end before any exchange of payment.
Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Hexagon Restrictor Harness…
HELPFUL?
HannahCakes! Jun 1, 2013
Hey Whats Up I’m Caleb (obviously don’t have an etsy) and using my lady’s account. She got the catsuit for my birthday and she looked so sexy like J-Lo or someone. Didn’t want her doin the latex stuff because I thought shed have to shave off all her pubes and personally i like that kind of thing a lot but no harm done. Anyway she was super sexy and the suit thing looked good and stayed together even when we started rockin. To other full bush guys out there if youre girl wants to wear the latex stuff SHE CAN KEEP HER BUSH she just has to use lube to oil up the bush that she has.
Purchased item: DeMarco FetishWear – Domina Catsuit w/ Pussycat Zipper (red…
7 Helpful
HannahCakes! 3 months ago Friend Ignore
Caleb Review
Hi J,
Saw my boyfriend’s 6/1 review and I was like uh ohhh. I asked him to leave one because he went gaga over the catsuit, but I wasn’t expecting all the bush stuff. If you don’t want to be associated with that and want to delete, that’s ok on my end. A little embarrassing! – Hannah!
Reply from DeMarco FetishWear 3 months ago Friend Ignore
Hi Hannah. Please don’t worry about it, any positive review is welcome. His feedback has apparently hit a chord with some specific hesitations and concerns buyers have been experiencing but not confiding with me, so I plan on keeping it up for the time being. Enjoy your garment.
JoeyoftheHerd 3 months ago Friend Ignore
Moo-cow snout muzzle thing – (idea i had)
Hi. Is this idea good
Reply from DeMarco FetishWear 3 months ago Friend Ignore
Hi Joey. Are you interested in a custom cow muzzle/mask, like the pup play masks on my page or are you just brainstorming for personal reasons?
Reply from JoeyoftheHerd 3 months ago Friend Ignore
idk it’s just an idea i had
Reply from DeMarco FetishWear 3 months ago Friend Ignore
It’s a cool idea
Reply from JoeyoftheHerd 3 months ago Friend Ignore
Thanks man i thought so 2
1234Brett10093456 3 months ago Friend Ignore
I REMEMBER YOU FROM RAWHIDE
JULES yes I know who you are and I know your name are you scared yet?? I remember when you used to hang with Roscoe out at Rawhide because Roscoe pretended to hire you because he secretly wanted to fuck and suck you till you cried and I saw all that. I have brown flippy hair, blue eyes and am tall/cut versatile but lean TOP. I know you faked being gay. You heard of bi-now-gay-later but have you heard of gay-then-straight-betrayer (you)? That is fucked up that you still sell stuff but pretend to be a gay guy because that makes your stuff sell better because the gay guys want to fuck you. I know you are faking because my muscle bud Tomas (latino) saw you making out with a ginger chick at the wet bar in Entrance last week. He said it was probably a joke but I know it wasn’t because he said he saw tongue. I wont let you be a breeder without a fight. I am willing to tell EVERYBODY YOURE SECRET. But I wont if you prove to me YOU CAN STILL BE GAY. Im attaching a pic of my cock so you know im not lying and can follow through. I will only believe YOU ARE GAY if we can see each other face/face (i can host only on fri- I have two roommates) and our cocks have to touch and you have to stay hard for at least five minutes while I suck and jack your cock and tongue your balls (shave or dont i will leave that up to you). condoms ok but if you want to be a breeder so bad maybe I will just breed your ass but if youre actually a gay guy you’ll like it and cum thick ropes as I fuck your dirty little slut hole and youll tell me youre a hole while I fuck it with the shiny precum head of my cut fucking cock (7inches erect). you will smell my hole and BECOME GAY again IT WILL HAPPEN - Brett Costino
TheSteelyDanMan 2 months ago Friend Ignore
Latex & Breastfeeding Concerns
Good morning, J I hope you are well. Returning customer, here. My kajira/wife and I are splinter Gor lifestylers (NOT KAOTIANS) [link] but are currently isolated due to our deviation from standard kajira beautification ideals and the arrival of our first child (girl - Gemma) two months ago. My wife’s submission has usually been expressed fashion-wise in various strict latex outfits, a few of which you have kindly provided us over the past couple of years. Naturally, the arrival of a mini-me results in some changes! My wife, insecure after birth, wants to return to strict full-coverage latex, but this desire is at odds with her physical situation of actively nursing Gemma and we both have worries. Does the constriction of latex effect or otherwise harm milk production, or could secondhand latex exposure harm our baby? I imagine you have catered to many lifestyle situations where this might be relevant so I thought I would ask. Thanks very much. LEO
Reply from DeMarco FetishWear 2 months ago Friend Ignore
Hi Leo. While I have catered to many lifestyles, I’m afraid I must exercise discretion in this situation, as it would be on par with giving medical advice. I will say any allergy is a possibility and one should exercise undue care with a very young infant, not just in matters of latex. I highly encourage you and your wife to discuss this with her doctor as frankly as possible. In the long run it might be worth reevaluating aspects of your wife’s submission and temporarily making do with latex pieces that do not restrict the breasts, while nursing is a part of her daily reality (I’m sure I don’t have to tell you examples are available on my page). Best of luck and congratulations on the new addition to your family.
NoraBarnacle 2 months ago Friend Ignore
A sincere offer…
Several months ago, I bought a pair of latex gauntlet gloves from your shop. Since then, astonishing changes have come over me. I used to be high-powered, highly controlled, a formidable woman (natural ash blond, green eyes, 45”-40”-44”) I was determined to keep these feelings to myself, but I can no longer resist, as I wholeheartedly believe your Dominating spirit, imbued in the gauntlets, is leading me forcefully but masterfully into your care. If it pleases you, know I have not touched my aching slit for one month total as I am uncertain whether you desire me to feel pleasure that is not approved by you. There are no images of you on your site, but I have drawn an accurate picture of you in my mind and I know you are the Man that I never knew I was waiting for, the Man who will lead me, the Man who will hold my neck and strike my forehead to his knee in his insistence that I allow myself to be led. When I wear the gauntlets, they are your own gallant hands restricting my weak bones. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I can no longer resist. I do not desire to resist. Please message back so I can properly present my acquiescence, body and soul, unto you. I squat disgracefully on my plump thighs, full of whorish tremor that makes me unworthy, but still I desire. I will service your home with my ardent hands and service your thick and striving cock with my wet tongue. Respond to this small soul. I submit to your gallant wisdom – A Secret Admirer
RicoMetals 1 month ago Friend Ignore
Redhead Modle in Pic for Serve Her Serrated Corselette
Hey man-to-man who is she. I love redheads. Does she modle for other people/would she modle for my pieces? there’s no head in the pick – what’s her nose situation? we could all do collab and I think it would be hot. Let me kno - RICO
Reply from DeMarco FetishWear 1 month ago Friend Ignore
Hi Rico. I have not blocked you (yet) because said model wanted me to reply to you first and inform you, she’s already an established performer in her own right and does not want to model for a guy who “thinks I need some sissy seamstress to pimp me out to shitty welders online”. As I only have basic welding experience, I can offer no further comment or defense on your behalf.
DerryBerry454 1 month ago Friend Ignore
Inquiry re: standard leather sleep-sack dimensions
Hello Miss J, quick question:
I will buy this item no hesitation no delay if you tell me right now about your vagina. Questions I prioritize:
1. Color labia (outer)
2. Color labia (inner – aroused)
3. Clit length in centimeters or whatever measurement is most flattering to you
4. Range of clit engorgement
5. Depth of vaginal canal (I will allow ballpark figure as I know not everyone has graded speculums lying around)
6. Percentage of clit orgasms v. vaginal orgasms – bonus points if you describe uterine orgasm, if that is your experience (no pressure to answer last part, as I understand it is not necessarily vagina-adjacent)
7. Are you hairy? What color?
8. When you wash your vagina do you douche or do you use fingers to rub through labia folds and that is it?
9. Color of menstrual blood
10. If you wear panties, do you find the crotch of your panties degrades due to PH of your vaginal discharge? (give me the qualities and I will calculate this for you)
While a picture of your vagina is welcome (and will only be for my private use) I really do like gathering these stats (I’m kind of a nerd) and would appreciate as much openness on your behalf as possible and you will benefit too because I’ll give you money for your lovely product. Talk to you soon! 😊
B O A R D
[RUBBERVALLEY FIENDS THREAD 3/3 2006-PRESENT] TOPICS: 850 POSTS: 10,356
DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Hey people, we’ve reached the end of the summer and you know what that means – Ivan himself of the halls of Rubber Valley presents inaugural post of their annual sweeps week filming extravaganza – first photoset already up and we’ve got the goddamn brilliant LYDIA SUCKS sons! The greatest bitch on the face of the planet almost psyched us out but she’s here she’s low and she’s ready to blow. Vid upload will probably take till tomorrow to render but we’ve got some great pic galleries already. Ivan really spoiling us pigs lmfao. Seeing lots of setup and dress-up and behind scenes stuff for yall candid pervs. We’ve got full body latex and face coverage hoods and I see a breathing tube and the barn inversion setup. Possible inverted ceiling fuck? The boys can dream. Links to download pics results in PERMABAN – only official links to Rubber Valley site allowed, don’t know how often I have to say it. You want to pass ripped screenshots you do that through email *casts pearls before swine*
GOBgobGOB: no pic of lyds upside down yet ☹
LordJim: Not interested until I see Ivan haul out the FuckRacers from two years ago – wonder why he doesn’t bring those around more often? Great view stats on current vids and who doesn’t like a fat ass getting auto-fucked while she steers the go-cart supine?
SUCKPUNTER: lmfao all views are you bro
GOBgobGOB: D I R E C T H I T
SUCKPUNTER: hey lordjim where’d you learn the word supine
LordJim: Yeah “laugh out loud” very funny guys.
SUCKPUNTER: did you learn it at college
DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Lydia looks gr8 folks. Queen pristine and ready to cream. SUCKPUNTER – chill out because I’ve got my eye on you. Don’t take the bait Jim. You’re like thirty.
SUCKPUNTER: at least I don’t get off on bitches doing the pinewood derby
LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: LYDIA!
GOBgobGOB: LYDIA!!!
McLovin: LYDIA LYDIA LYDIA
TheWorldofMartinAmis: Goddess. Wish she’d get her boobs done though.
LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: same! I’ve been waiting for years for her to get into xtreme body mod. Right up her alley. If she’s at EXXXOTICA EXPO next year I’m going to try to get her meet and greet and ask. I know tattoo guys who’d pay HER to give her first tat.
McLovin: Lydia wouldn’t go. She’s like indie transgressive.
DungeonMaster (MOD 2): nice to see you again lockSTOCK. I see your POV but Lydia has several interviews where she says most of her viewers see her bod as a clean palate in the art of pain – as in, wounds have to go away in order for us to appreciate a fresh ruining ; ) tats and huge implants are a little tougher to work around. Anyway in my mind you can fix bad tits but you can’t fix bad attitude
ThatOneFootGuy: id suck her feet
McLovin: woah fuck 4th latex pic in dressing series with her mouth open and her eyes shut – who the lube guy with his arm right down her front?
SUCKPUNTER: lol hand clear to her pussy and hes not even hard faggot
McLovin: scope the ginger amazon in the background with camera – new girl? Don’t recognize. Didn’t know Ivan was bringing new people around this year’s sweeps.
LordJim: I wondered too when I saw. I’m sure DungeonMaster mod understands if I copy/paste following from Ivan (no pics, text w/actress info):
Newcomers are always welcome in RUBBER VALLEY (especially if they’re lovely, and especially if they’re ladies!) and this old goat is pleased to welcome DOMME LUX, our friendly neighbor down south in that little town called Chicago. Mysterious as she is alluring, you’ll see her shining light sampling tidbits of delight off our Valley Girls throughout the uploads this month (or even taking a crack at a couple!) We’re just getting to know her, but I have a feeling she’s a generous gal at heart as she kindly offered us the services of her Personal Valet, Jules DeMarco, who himself spoiled us all year with devious latex devices for our steadfast daring dollies after the unfortunate 2012 passing of our beloved torture designer Merrick Marvel (memoriam post 03/04/2012). Check out Jules’s Half-Bag Breast Mummifier in scheduled post 7/22 (Heather Bunny in the inverted Wench Wrench) the diabolical Arachnae-Hood (Lacey Jane, spinning in our trusty Landscape(her) Rolling Pin 7/16) and the Double-Fuck Full Body Boa Binder with eerie inflatable bubble hood (Lydia Sucks, finale post 7/31, don’t miss it, SUBSCRIBE). I must confess, we took advantage - the poor fella ran himself ragged helping us with film prep all week. So as an apology we let him get up close and personal with Rubber Valley’s reigning heroine LYDIA SUCKS fitting her in a custom four-limb black latex catsuit with half-face hood, made especially for her brave beautiful bod. He takes a good long time greasing her up before Ivan and Barry get her hoisted and joisted and in her best bitch-bat position among the rafters of the exalted Rubber Valley barn, where we leave her to squirm in terror! (but let’s get real – what scares Lydia? We’re wracking our brains!) Uh-oh, is Domme Lux looking jealous in the background? Is she plotting a little comeuppance for our Lovely Lady Lydia? Only one way to find out – SUBSCRIBE!
DungeonMaster (MOD 2): Np lordjim, if you hadn’t posted I was going to. Looks like we’ve got fresh meat in the valley.
TheWorldofMartinAmis: very pretty girl, but always bummed when a new one turns out to be top. Call me old fashioned, I come to the Valley for slaves.
SUCKPUNTER: firecrotch
GOBgobGOB: brb too busy crankin it. milky gingerbread titties come to daddy
McLovin: @TheWorldofMartinAmis, Ivan always has at least one femdom around. Room for everybody in the valley
LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: holy shit I know that guy.
SUCKPUNTER: lmfao faggots know faggots
LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: no for real. His real name is Jules Marinelli. I worked with him one summer lifeguarding beaches for the park’s district. Our boss found his website where he sells his sex stuff, and it was this whole big thing. Found the kink club Entrance through that (check it out if you’re in my hood ever – huge, clean, not too much gay shit, great ladies of all stripes hanging around, but limits on drinking if you’re trying to access certain levels). He’s bi. He’s either secretly Domme Lux’s slave or Domme Lux is his slave and it’s mega on the DL because it’d hurt her career if it got out she could ‘verse. There’s all this gossip.
SUCKPUNTER: bi guys r fags
DungeonMaster (MOD 2): SUCKPUNTER – that’s strike one. lockstock – not deleting your post because from what I can see JDM doesn’t/isn’t acting in explicit scenes, but let’s cool it with doxxing info. Looks like he’s had an experience with that before, and as a small business owner myself, I know how it can suck. We aren’t gossiping high school girls. Settle back and enjoy what Ivan gives us.
GOBgobGOB: *sees dudes in the chat and stops jacking off*
LockSTOCK2FUCKINGBARRELS: NP mod, feel free to delete it later before it causes problems.
TheWorldofMartinAmis: going back to previous discussion – don’t think a breast job automatically constitutes body modification
DungeonMaster (MOD 2): think about it martinamis, it’s a slippery slope – you want to see some swollen battered fish get destroyed, or a fresh natural girl get destroyed?
SUCKPUNTER: i am not a faggot and a whore’s a whore and im here to see whores fucking destroyed
GOBgobGOB: *tony soprano voice* she was a HOOOOER
SUCKPUNTER: fag or cunt all whores get fucked
LordJim: Mod, step up. This isn’t going to get better. With all due respect
SUCKPUNTER: fag or cunt ALL WHORES GET FUCKED
DungeonMaster (MOD 2): yeah, already done. That should be the last of him. Don’t know why I expected that situation to turn out differently.
FROM: [email protected]
Subject: Debrief – valley week
Jules,
As discussed, attached is current info for my old webmaster service from when I had to run my own fansite. Decent price and decent vendor system. Can only be an improvement on what you have now. That is not an insult, but I know it sounds like one. Stay with me.
[link] [link] [link]
And above, the top three most trafficked boards I’ve found following my own career and the rubber valley gang. We’ve caused quite a stir already and its only July 15th. I wouldn’t count on this causing an uptick in your business, but I think you know that. The standard gentleman at home spending twenty bucks a month for guaranteed links to a woman being fucked inside out while wearing a sensory deprivation hood simply doesn’t translate him to spending 100-200 dollars, contacting a seller, taking measurements, and going through the effort to order he and his special girly the hood itself. But I know you believe you’ve chosen your life the same way I believe I’ve chosen my life and won’t whine. I will say, if your ego is bruised, that your clothes are wonderful. They feel maybe half like death. I’ll wear them again and again.
On a funnier note: I have accounts myself on all the above message boards and post semi-regularly. It might amuse you to do the same thing, but you need to be careful regarding your identity. Feedback from viewers is never relevant, but it needs to be pure (don’t ask me why – my brains are fucked out). I won’t tell you who I am, and you won’t tell me who you are. Maybe we’ll find each other.
I wouldn’t tell your Cathy, since some sensitive (if inaccurate) information is flying around. Your instinct towards privacy, while cute and old fashioned, is an apt instinct. Looks like the good people of Chicago can’t keep their fucking mouths shut. Will you be able to find a straight job if your work now goes up like a dead dog’s gut? Don’t despair. Your nice long cock dropped so well down my throat while your Cathy beat my clit with the edge of your belt (nice touch – whose idea was that?) so while you might not get another chance to perch in a lifeguard’s throne, you might very well have a future in film. You’re vigorous, discrete, disciplined, clean, and a cutie-pie. Have your Cathy make some films of you alone or you two together. It’ll excite her, so you have no choice but to be excited yourself. You’re excited reading this. You believe you chose this.
Anyway – Cathy! Don’t be insulted on her behalf. I loved playing with you both. She’s kind and a lot of fun, which are virtues I still let myself appreciate in others. Let her know I appreciate how she let me use you. She’s a good girl and has a good future in store, especially with her personal valet running her life. Pick her outfits, pick her makeup, pick her clients, pick her laundry soap – is it already like that? I want to be buried alive, but you want to be buried in chores. Please dream big, Jules.
Rubber valley is where I have the most fun out of all the shoots I have in a year, but I really was lucky that you two showed up. Poor old Merrick Marvel (not even that old – colon cancer). But out with him and in with you. I enjoyed our river talk and I felt very safe in the car with you at the wheel, though I know I tormented you a little (but I’m pretty sure Cathy helped you out later with that – will you write back to me what she did to you, and if she let you come?) At one point you were with Ivan in the garage, and I tried to have a little talk with her about oblivion, but she either understood my point and got scared, or simply didn’t understand. It’s unfortunate, kind of soul-sucking, how our dominant “loved ones” transform into necessary evils. Adjust the tube. Grasp the handle. Move the thigh. Use the vocal cord to form the order. But what do they know? I never knew how to explain.
I’ve attached some personal pictures of me. I like knowing that you have them. I won’t contact you again except under strict business purposes, so let me sum up. Serve Cathy well. Don’t let her get bullied. Flourish creatively. Keep that belt. Fuck as often as your body commands you to fuck (if I suspect that sometimes your body is Cathy’s body by proxy, then this number will double, perhaps triple, but the choice is out of your hands because she owns your cock). You have a lot of growing up to do. Don’t despair. More to come.
We won’t see each other soon, but we’ll see each other again. Ciao!
I expect improvements.
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Lydia S
#SAFEWORLD#unto itself but also sneak peek at rubber valley sequence#inspired solely by all the fetishwear providers on etsy that exist#Jules being relentlessly sexually harassed on the internet: this is normal and doesn't bother me. guess im built different
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the 100 diaries S2 E6
quarantine diaries: may 28 2020
season 2 episode 6: “Fog of War”
thats a nice map clarke. but how does she remember this much information about the mount weather cuz she wasnt even there that long. does clarke have photographic memory??
yeah clarke. i wouldnt know what to say to finn either. but look at prettyboy bellamy trying to defend finn. like he shouldnt because what finn did was absolutely terrible but good for him. stay loyal my dood
enter finn looking real jealous of bellamy. i mean he should be. cuz lets all be honest. no one can compare to prettyboy bellamy
fuck off murphy. why is murphy pretending that he just part of the gang now? and why he gotta joke about my boy monty like that??? do not apply salt to my wounds. other people may like you but bygones are not bygones just yet. i remember what you did. but also i cant believed that they actually pardoned finn? is he seriously not gonna get punished?!
mount weather crashed the exodus ship?! sooooo question for y’all: did mount weather also sabotage the landing of the 100?? like they were meant to land on mount weather but they didn’t. is this ever clarified later in the show??
mom saying that clarke isnt a soldier and yet she sent clarke down here. knowing there was a good chance she would die. bitch. you dont even know. abby youre little girl has killed in cold blood before. but i guess these two are not ready for that conversation yet.
“assimilate them to the gene pool” bc ofc these people didnt just take in these kids out of the goodness of their hearts. these people are sick...
also i know that dante is playing the good guy in this situation saying that he wont put the kids in cages like animals but is willing to just that to grounders? what kind of message are you sending here buddy??
side note: does anyone else think that dante’s son looks like a Jim carrey wannabe
again jaha and kane. what are the odds? who would have thought? not me. my crack ship is not done yet
yeah the louder and the more you shout you come in peace kane the more i believe it.
you can’t be friends with everyone jaha. dont you remeber the last time you trusted be they sold you.
18. 18. 18 people were killed. FINN. FINN. FINN. there do need to be some repercussions
maya and jasper look like they could be siblings. both pale. both dark hair.
why does finn have a gun?? yes finn they need to keep an eye on you. what do you think youre going to do? i think youre gonna shoot people finn. thank you for putting the gun down.
umm i dont think that it was accident. like i get that youre mentally unstable dude but 18 people? thats a big ‘accident’ id just prefer if you owned up to it.
ofc the acid fog comes now. the fricking art room..... the dead body is still there isnt it
ofc one of the guards die just to be more dramatic
damn they really should have cleaned up the dead body. plus it must stink. and yet there is finn with that face saying ‘don’t look at my past sins clarke’ as he runs to cover the body
youre telling me that tents really protect against the acid fog it looks as thin as a person’s shirt.
yeah finn you are the enemy. ‘you don’t look at me the way you used to.’ yah bro you killed 18 people but you dont see that bothered by it. also i know honest is the best policy but telling clarke the honest truth of how you got her watch back may not have been the best move.
“come on they gave us cake”-jasper trying to convince the others to donate their blood (21:15) this is the strongest argument i have ever heard in my life.
monty keeping his priorities straight. i stan! and i just love how done he is with maya. i straight up laughed when she came in with that notebook!!! are they making maya a good character now??
“because the standard treament sucks compared to you.”-maya trying to flirt with jasper lol
big yikes when maya revealed the grounders. ‘everyone knows but no one talks about it’ waht? i shouldnt be surprised tho considering all the shit that goes on in america that everyone know thats going on but doesnt talk about because it makes certain people feel uncomfortable
“die” - monty (23:35) YES MONTY YES MONTY. monty is officially my favorite character!
the fog is a weapon. did not expect that.
oooh no. carol of bells. indeed. as in bellamy “bells” coming in to be a badass.
its your boy lincoln!! and he does not look good. what are you doing octavia? you still want licoln after you just saw him feast on a human? this girl need to have higher standards.
side note: so reapers are basically modern zombies and if they have zombies in this show they can have vampires. so i stand by what i said before. these mountain people are just modern vampires literally sucking the blood and life out these poor 47 kids. and just when we thought they caught a break with all the cake
honestly im surprised that kane is still good. i thought that he was gonna turn evil. also these grounders have it wrong. at least during the fight between wells and murphy bellamy gave wells a knife to have a fair fight
preston burke becoming a doctor again!! cue grey’s anatomy theme song
seriously what is lexa doing here….oooh theyre smarter than i thought. we love female leaders. she be out here being sly. though not going to lie i still prefer anya.
alternatives for Octavia calling for lincoln **lincoln dear come hither** or **hey demon lincoln its yah girl octavia**
‘neither do i’ awww finn. i feel sad for you but at the same time. you killed 18 people. i reaaaally dont know how the writers are going to redeem finns character.
jaspers face tho when dante turned his back was like bitch you dont know whats coming to you.
yikes when dante grabbed his sons neck. but also his name is cage. ironic because mount weather is a cage
did raven just say to finn to suck it up? ummmmmmmmmmmm
JAHA!!
#the 100#the 100 diaries#bellamy#clarke#finn#raven#octavia#lincoln#jaha#kane#abby#jasper#monty#monty is king
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tgcf lb the fourth chapter 23 - 33
“hmmm looks like theres people in the fertilizer. i shan’t say a word” ok king of minding your business i guess
oh looks like it has a long tongue. oh i dont care for that at all
The build of their bodies were similar, and atop their shoulders, all of them carried cudgels that were densely covered in sharp wolf teeth. It created an illusion that a pack of wolves had transformed into people. attack of the furries? okay.
It was easy to comprehend after thinking about it. This person had been buried in the desert sand for fifty to sixty years. The flesh of his body had long been transformed into nutrients for those Kindred Moon Herbs. He had been entirely consumed until the only thing remaining was a mere skeleton. when this book isnt being very funny its being very grim!!! yikes!! also this was an episode of hannibal
Ke Mo definitely had never heard someone ask to go first in this place. His eyes widened and looked like bells as he asked in astonishment, “You want to go first? For what reason??”
Xie Lian naturally couldn’t reply and say it was because he wasn’t scared. Thus, he chose an answer that conformed with the norms of society. “General, these are merely innocent merchants just passing through. They even have a child amongst them.” - love watching the immortals trying to act like humans. would have been funny if xie lian had just hit em with “well i cant die so its chill”
That young man had crossed his arms. With an indifferent gaze, he thoughtfully sized up the deep Sinners’ Pit.
A bad premonition sprung up unbidden in Xie Lian’s heart. “San Lang?”
When he heard Xie Lian call him, San Lang turned his head. He smiled faintly and said, “Everything’s fine.” - edgy bastard lets go
What Ke Mo had been cursing was, “It’s this slut again!” - me when a corpse gets up and knocks all my soldiers into the sinner’s pit what a relatable reaction
oh now im switching translations here we go
does hua cheng just straight up transform in the darkness? edgy bastard. also hualian having their little discussion while ke mo keeps trying to attack im still amused by these kinds of shenanigans
banyue guoshi ma’am your backstory.... rough. im on your side im sure you had your reasons
why do the soldiers keep her up near the top of the pit of death if she keeps getting up and knocking them all in? am i missing something? or are they just that dumb/dead fjdf;adjsf
fu yao: y’all alive? lmk. if not ill guess ill go back to the the merchants who totally promised to stay put in the circle. in case its not clear i do not care what happens to said merchants.
hua xie... of course thats the fucking name he picked. also looks like that wasnt so much a parallel being drawn between xie lian and the general as it was the same exact line
fasdlkfjsldfdsf god xie lian really has a hard time. you help some orphans, you try to keep people from dying, you try to save an orphan and you trip and get trampled but you cant die so you wake up in a river full of corpses and just float away. actually tbh i really appreciate him as an immortal character this is the shit i like to see. love xie lian ready to defend himself from the slander of being completely flattened. he was only mostly flattened
cunty vibes so strong all the wildlife in a 10 foot radius just chuck up the deuces and split
ITS RAINING SCORPION SNAKES. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH A REVEAL. love that the umbrella is just always on hand
okay i guess fucking. everyone is here now why not. we’re all in a hole covered in scorpions and everyone knows each other but not everyone is admitting it but we know. we know. still not 100% sure what is going wrt pei su/pei ming/general pei/pei junior im a bit confused idk
okay i cant explain it but im attached to him now.
i like banyue. i feel like theres going to be a few background female characters i really like but im not so sure theyll get a lot of development. wind master come back you and your lady friend i would like to know more of you. anyway fuck this pei guy(s?). also they just put banyue in a jar? fair enough
is xie lian another mc who cant cook? so much so that everyone who knows him just leaves if he offers? love that for him
okay we’ve got ONE identity admitted. i liked how casual it was. i wonder if hc was waiting for this bc yeah he was not subtle i feel like he definitely wanted xie lian to know. if he didnt then bruh. get lessons in how to act human please
screaming. no words. cant wait to meet him. and hua cheng please keep up the good work. i love that now we’re just. sitting. chatting. chilling. okay.
yeah it makes sense that hes an immortal i think you would have to take this attitude after 800 years
this authors note about not writing ugly characters.... fjkdalfdjfa obviously i dont think holding beauty as such high standard is good it warps our views and values etc etc but also i would expect nothing less from a story like this. yes we know everyone is going to be beautiful theyre immortal and beautiful and young forever
lmao at exile being a temporary banishment for crimes.... yeah that sounds about right tbh. rich elite fuckers
oh good we haven’t forgotten about human face disease boy. im wondering when we’re going to find out how important he will be bc he clearly matters otherwise he’d have been resolved already also yeah how tf does he have that disease that sure sounds like an issue
i dont like him. pei ming i also wish you to die of syphilis. also of fucking COURSE xie lian’s cultivation method doesnt let him read dirty books
im just saving this because its funny
okay lang qianqiu i see you falling asleep at the meeting. i like you already but you are not above suspicion. actually you know what i suspect you already. crown prince of the kingdom that conquered xianle? idk if youre good or bad but you know something i learned this lesson from beloved morally grey huaisang
okay last comment for this post. mxtx’s little authors note about everyone being straight except for hualian but you can make up headcanons as long as you dont split hualian up fjdlfakdj. i just find it silly to write a story thats so clearly for an audience that understands shipping and ships often and say not to split a specific couple up but i mean to be fair i kind of get it that sentiment as an author and not wanting people to do certain things with your work, although again i think its silly
i guess the point of this note is just to be clear that no one else is going to get together so no one argues about it and i dont actually know much about how this was published but it seems like it was serialized so i can see why that would be an issue. personally i dont really care for knowing stuff like that ahead of time but i know a lot of people do and it seems to be thing in other cnovels ive seen to know whos going to get together as far as major characters are concerned i guess thats part of the draw and i guess i kind of get it
not sure how much other romance will be in this but also i think its kind of ridiculous to be like “these are the only two gay characters” in a cast that just keeps growing but whatever shes really leaving that work up to the readers to make it happen which they’ll do anyways so whatever. also there had to be at least one of the 33 officials who fought hua cheng who thought he was hot. theres no way that didnt happen
#if theres a note that explains why some of the immortals have a whisk can someone point me to towards it?#im assuming its not actually a kitchen whisk although that would be something#is it like the feather dusters songxiao carry?#tgcf liveblog#mouse mumbles#i guess this is what im doing with my time now
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Wainlock + Zane Space Pirate AU
So quick alternate universe idea thing. Thank you @jakobslock and @majimalordofthenight for being there to go along with it.
So, Wainlock and Zane Flynt. Just hold with me for a bit.
Like. okay straight from our group chat with minor clean ups.
ZANE THE SPACE PIRATE A LA TREASURE PLANET.
He wants to swindle a bunch of rich folks but he ends up falling in love with the wealthy man and his explorer employee.
Zane with an open chest from half his buttons being undone. But also the idea that he's sailing a ship IN FUCKING SPACE. Don't forget the hot as hell coat he wears along with a sword an actual sword. Wainwright is being nice to his crew, actually listens to the lower status cabin boys. Sleeps with the crew. Has a few stories to tell. He's paying them all handsomely, even pays one of the cargo runners double for him to run and grab a crate of apples. "Pocket the change, I don't want any money back from you."
And Zane starts to get a sick feeling in his belly when he revises his plan to not only ask for triple what he would normally get for something like this into the oasis regions. But the idea that he is going to kidnap and ransomed the pair out as soon as they find the temple of Oular [News flash all these odd names are made up]. the treasure of millions.
And Alistair is equally as nice with the crew. Helps out in the galley and actual pulls his weight when he's done all he can to get their heading correct among the stars. Actual hands off a trick or two to the cook on how to best cut vegetables.
Alistair manages to help fix a tear in the secondary sail that had been there for months. "Sometimes we don't have the time or the funds to fix what is deemed unnecessary. However. Not much is needed for this. A simple bone needle and some strong fishing line will work temporarily."
"How temporary?" And it's one of the deck hands that speak up.
"Five maybe six months if it's good wire and the storms aren't too rough with this girl." and Alistair pats the mast before he follows the most capable of deck hands up.
They hook into the mast netting to keep from falling and Alistair walks him through it. Doesn't take over. Waits for the pirate to get his frustrations out before walking the man through it.
"And tie a good strong knot into each thread through. It strengthens each stitch and helps it hold closed even if one of them snaps. This can be applied to clothing too. Especially a favourite shirt. Like the one I’m wearing." And Alistair just scoots his vest open slightly to show off the stitching job he had done the year before on it.
Wainwright and Alistair are dining with the crew out on the deck, under the stars as they sail through what could be comet dust. Wainwright brings the wheel-man and the on duty sail turner their supper and eats with them a little. It shows that he respects the crew.
"Lord Flynt. Or would you prefer I call you Pirate Lord Flynt." Wainwright watches Zane tense up as they talk in his quarters. "It's been nearly a month so I feel like dropping the mask is either going to get me killed or thrown overboard. Or a better option. However. I know you aren't some navy man, half your crew is on wanted posters in some ports. But I feel that I am as good as safe with this crew. You picked a good lot for your ship. All of them." Wainwright waits for Zane's reaction but only gets a one eyed glare. "Very well. Alistair and myself have known since we hired you to take us to the Oasis galaxy. We want to share with you the fame that is going to come from finding this place. I don't want my name on any part of it. I don't care for fame like my daddy did. I just want the histories of the universe to be known."
And Zane is stunned. absolutely stunned. hes quiet as Wainwright explains that he wanted the Flynt crew to be the ones to sail them. "You've sailed through the pull of a black hole and past a double belt of asteroids. I know that you ad your crew alone can fly safely into the area of the Oasis that is notorious for it's gas storms."
Wainwright smiles softly. "Pirate or naval admiral or whatever. you are the best of the best when it comes to danger and I for one, respect that. I've paid off the rulers in both the Terra Nova galaxy and the Terra Afer sector [real names but they don’t exist]. You are all free men in those parts. I have read quite a bit on you and your crew Mr. Flynt. I admire your perseverance in the ways of travel. I don't with to be bait or simply diced into pieces. I want to share in what is knowledgeable. I have a lot of money I never asked for. Which means I have a lot of funds for you and your crew should you prove to me that I will not become some plaything once we find this temple. I have an idea as to what pirates do Mr. Flynt. I have a few scars from the first time I was aboard a ship as fine as this."
And Zane is left gaping at Wainwright as the man heads out of the captain's cabin. That little rich shit took all the wind from Zane's sails and instead anchored the idea that he isn't his daddy at all.
Zane being fucking confused. But then he calls in his first mate, sits the man down. "Gabriel, these two are not to be harmed. They know who we are. What we've done. And yet- they came aboard willingly. This Jakobs, he knows everything and yet hes paying us what a regular naval vessel would make. Hes got everyone's names, not as threats but as people. All of us, and hes paying us as if we were the navy. These are not prisoners or problems. These two men are my personal guests now. Keep treating them like crew, as they have treated us like equals."
"Good. I'd have hated to hurt Sir Hammerlock after he taught me how to play the whole Instringus [made up lol] symphony play-set on my fiddle. Even though he cant play it himself." And Gabriel twiddled his fingers slowly, looking down at his clawed fingers in slight sympathy. "I think they've taught us more than we could ask for, captain, something's we didn't even know ourselves."
"I agree boyo, Barnes is even learning how to read from Hammerlock's personal diaries. I have never met anyone who would do that if they truly didn't mean the best." Zane sighs through his nose. "This changes things."
Zane looks at the parchment that he and another pirate lord had signed the week after Zane had found out he was taking a pair of rich men onto his ship to go discovery some whatchamacallit.
but now he can't deliver on that promise as Wainwright and Alistair are no longer targets but allies.
It takes him a second to realize he fucked up more than royally as Captain 'Handsome' Jack won't take no.
he is indeed a dumb of ass and needs to get both Wainwright and Alistair back into his quarters.
Zane panicking when they reach the outer edge of the Oasis galaxy. This is A) one of if not the most dangerous Galaxy if one doesn't know how to navigate it. Zane and Gabriel do. B) Captain Jack is set to meet them at the outer edge where Oasis meets Nobilis which is where they ended up heading to due to Wainwright wanting to stop near Haberst Forture the city planet to settle debts that some of the crew had accumulated. and C) both Alistair and Zane know that Jack's ship looks like THAT
So as Wainwright Stays on deck he can see Hyperion son John La Paige or now known as Handsome Jack with a scar in the shape of a cracked star on his cheek. Wainwright can feel his stomach drop as this kid was one of his friends' son. "Do- you know this bastard?"
"Yeah- I know him. I used to be his uncle when it was much simpler times. His Grandfather and my daddy were thick as thieves. then one day. poof, John La Paige was gone. His father said he had run away. I had suspicions that John had been taken at age 14 and this is where he ended up." Wainwright sighed. "He was a brat back then. I suppose now he doesn't take kindly to not gettin’ his way."
And it's not long before Handsome Jack is boarding The Sentinel. Wainwright knows that he can't go willingly. Can't make it that easy or Jack will do something else. Alistair is hidden under the loose boards under Zane's bed. It's a thick enough space for an average human and Alistair thanked all his stars he wasn't claustrophobic. Wainwright never put Alistair on the manifest for the crew. Zane never knew that Alistair was going to be the explorer coming with them. Jack probably doesn't know that Alistair is on the ship. But it's better that Wainwright makes sure the love of his life is safe.
"Well Well. Well. Uncle Wain in the flesh. Ahhh, it's so good to see you after all this time."
"John. I wish I could say the same about you."
And it's minutes of dancing around each other before Wainwright makes a reach for his gun, gets instead a knock to his chest from Jack's fist, then a swift kick and a series of blows to his ribs and back. Jack yelling about how he was abandoned and taken. How Flynt had delivered him like a nice little package. And Wainwright played into it. looked at Flynt as if the man had been playing him. Looked at the crew like they had betrayed him.
Gabriel had caught on the fastest had already taken the special compass Alistair had been using. "I take it you never figured out that Hammerlock didn't really stay on Port Leio. But he did have a nice compass. Embossed with gold and- proposal rubies. You really thought he had decided to stay there? Please. Anyone who has heard of Temple Oular can't resist going there themselves. Too bad Hammerlock couldn't stomach it."
Wainwright played his horror up as much as he could. Screamed himself hoarse. Yelled till he was blue in the face. and Went after Zane in a show to kill him but Jack's men grabbed him first. Jack then handed over what could only be described as a solid gold small chest filled with what is known as tear drop stars. Specially compacted star dust into the form of imperfect tear drop shapes that are worth millions each. "I feel like I'm short a couple."
"You know how fragile those little shits are. Besides, No navigator."
Zane gave a glare to Gabriel that felt real. And they all hoped it had been bought by Jack and his men. Zane knew it was when Jack took his time departing, he had done deals with the man in the past. the Pirate king himself. So for Jack to take his time meant he was happy with their exchange. Zane even used his detector to see if anything was off about the chest. "She's true boys!" And even as the deck erupted in cheers at a success Zane could feel his stomach sink as Jack's ship disembarked and started to sail into the Oasis.
They waited until Jack's ship was out of range before Barnes went and retrieved Hammerlock. "We have a plan that should he be taken- well it's messy business but he has a specific- uh- thing in his blind eye. Because he can't use it he decided that he should put it to some use. there is a tracker in it should he be kidnapped or killed. He thought that it would be useful in times such as this. However it is a few decades old but it has been serviced. If the specifications are right- and he is sure it was- then it should go undetected as it uses infrared signals and not x-waves. Virtually undetectable unless scanned for specifically with a certain code."
"And what is this code?"
"An 8 character long pass-code that has absolutely no significance to anyone. maybe on luck but it was randomly generated." Alistair smiles. "Unless he's dead, of which I don't think John- er- Handsome Jack will kill him until he has everything that Wainwright has. that includes the family vault."
NOW. Imagine Zane fitting Alistair with a set of pirate clothing that makes Alistair look like a badass and hot as hell. "I'm not sure about the torn sleeve of this coat."
"It's just the elbow mate, nothing to worry about. It shows off that metal arm of yours." And that is coming from one of the riggers as he helps cut the coat sleeve specifically to show off the robotic arm.
Alistair comes from below decks, looking like a prime rib steak of a pirate. and Zane looks the explorer up and down, feels himself heat up to the roots of his hair. "Well, I'll be. You can clean up nicely for a navigator."
"Oh please. I hardly pull this off. The coat feels garish and the pants- well they aren't as fitted as I'm used to."
"That's the point Sir Hammerlock. Easy access and movability are the name of the pirate game. The layers thereafter are for status. And you my de- you look the part of a pirate lord. Off to save your fiancee."
"How did you boys find out?"
Zane snorts along with a couple chuckles from those milling about the deck. "Anyone with eyes can see the love you two hold. Even I can see it and I only have the one good one."
"Your second one is also useful."
Zane pauses. "Aye, it is. I take it you know echo tech."
"Know about it? Zane Flynt I made the echo eye mark one and four. You are wearing my design. But that is not my version. That is Henry's my old partner's patent." Hammerlock smirks. "That is also the bootlegged version. I can tell because you would have a dial on the one side for heat, infrared, ultraviolet, and normal. I will get you the real one once we are back in Jakobs' territory."
God and Alistair is getting worried as the Oasis system has some of the worst patches to fly near. But Zane and his own Navigator Patelli know how to cruise through the system. "I've been here too many times Alistair. I know how to pilot through the Vandert nebula”
The babe is careful during a worm hole pass by, even this far out they could get sucked in with a wrong move. "One way is the wormhole. The other is the heavy pull of Werq and her many layers of dense gaseous winds. Dont need to be crushed by gravity thank you."
And zane gets the Sentinel threaded through no problem along with the crew doing their work properly. "Ain't no navy can pilot like this." And Alistair hums appreciatively.
When they enter the "coast" or the temple whereabouts Zane takes Alistair into his cabin for the night. "I dont know what is gonna happen. All I know is once Jack has everything he wants from Mr. Jakobs, including the entry to the temple, hes going to kill him and leave his body. He has no mercy rules. I want ye to be prepared in case we're too late. I dont want to watch you crumble Sir Hammerlock, I dont think I can take watching a dear friend die like that again."
"I've known Winny for a while. If he dies- well he will be the last i will love as i do now. We have plans in place should that happen. But I wont burden any of you with my grief should it- should he be on the other side." Alistair squeezes Zanes hands in his own. "I trust and know you and your crew have done their best, even if it didnt start as such."
And Zane takes his chance then and there. Kisses Alistair quickly and roughly, gives everything he has into it. "I've come to love ye both dearly. I hope it doesn't come to death. But I'll fight as best I can to get you to your fiancee in time. Jack needs to end here and- I have nothing left for me. My crew can mourn me but Gabriel is going to take my place if I'm killed." Zane heads to his wardrobe, pulls out a long box with rich engravings on the box. "Mr. Jakobs had this made for you should you need it. Asked me to keep it hidden and safe. That's why we spent nearly a full week at Port Leio. It has the sharpest blade I've come by in a few years. And it's all yours as I think this is the right time."
When Alistair holds the sword it feels right. Perfect almost. it was made for him. He may have a rifle but this- this feels like it calls to him. "Mr. Jakobs also had one made for himself and told me to hang onto it. I have a feeling he knew what was going to happen."
"Winny did have a sort of intuition about him when it came to gambling and deals." Alistair tested the balance.
Zane huffed happily. "He has good taste." His eyes look Alistair up and down.
"I hope you're referring to the sword Mr. Flynt." Alistair teases.
"Oh- I am indeed."
It's not long before they fall asleep tucked together in Zane's bed. holding each other as the night of final rest looms over the ship. In the morning Alistair is petting through Zane's hair, his echo eye off and Alistair's fingers are tracing where it would sit. "You deserve so much Mr. Flynt. more than what was dealt to you. I wish you could see what Wainwright and I see in you. Pirating can only have so many years. And you have outlived them." Zane lets himself drift as he listens to Alistair's whispers. he's not meant to hear them as they are far too intimate for what Zane should want.
And Zane knows that it may very well be his last day. he's going to give his all in order to save Wainwright and kill the dreaded pirate king Captain Handsome Jack.
[WARNING: GORE]
And lets be real it'll look like At Worlds End from Pirates of the Caribbean. All fighting and yelling and anger but also love and trust and Zane comes through canon smoke and plunges his sword, the one Wainwright asked him to hold onto, right into Jack's chest, but that doesn't mean Jack didn't turn to see who was yelling. And Jack's sword pushes through Zane's ribs at high force as Zane kills Jack through the heart.
Jack is sprawled on the deck, dead and bleeding. while Zane is kneeling over him, hanging onto the hilt of his sword so he doesn't slip any farther down the blade of Jack's upright sword in his own chest. It's hard to breath. he can feel himself slipping. he's heaving actually. trying to get as much atmosphere as he can. And as he starts to fall down a little more onto the blade he looks over at Alistair and Wainwright on the star dusty deck of the Hyperion Master. Zane can see that they're okay now. He's done his job. He tries to smile but he can't, he can't feel much either. And he can see that it's his own blood soaking the front of Jack's clothes, that he's dying. He can hear his name being yelled in slow motion almost as he slips the last little bit where his body is fully kneeling.
What he doesn't know is it's Wainwright calling out to him, racing over to him. Alistair quickly next to as they watch him give up.
It's been three months of space travel. three months of getting to know each other. and three months of falling in love with each other. And the pair watch as Zane leaves them. "He knew it was coming my dear." Alistair is holding Wainwright in his embrace, they both have blood and goo and what ever else all over them. Alistair can feel in his bones the path Zane had forged was over. He watched the little red light on Zane's echo eye fade out.
However
The temple of Oular is in the Oasis galaxy, the galaxy known for it's mysterious magics.
Star dust, cosmic radiation, some mumbo jumbo bullshit everyone thought was fake.
Nope, all real.
[GORE OVER]
The Emporatta lake is a glowing body of water infused with life. IE the fountain of youth perhaps. Archer and Barnes are the ones to pull Zane off the sword and cover him in the old tattered flag that they held onto from the ship. The first one they had on the main mast.
Gabriel is holding himself tight on one side from fighting but he holds himself as best he can with the crew, all a little worse for wear. Some recovering on the ship. But Zane is the only death. (Idk I don't write it)
And so they follow the tales, using the door to Jack's captain's quarters as a makeshift platform to bring Zane's shrouded body into the waters of Oular. Wainwright and Alistair hold the two other corners as they wade into the water with Barns and Archer. "On the count of three we lower the body into the healing waters. One, two, three." And slowly they let the door sink to the floor of the opalescent water. Everyone has to cover their eyes as the body emits a bright white light, green at the edges. The water ripples as a drum sound bangs loud in their ears. It thrums loud and shakes the planet before altogether it ceases. A loud screech being the final sound before the water moves and Barnes grabs at the hand searching out in the opalescent water. And Zane is floating up in the waist deep shallows gasping for breath and looking around before shakily moving so he's standing. Everything on him is gone. the door is gone. His clothes are gone. the flag is gone. He has a massive scar going from his sternum to where his upper arm touches his side. It's where the sword had cut him, where it was shredding his body as they moved him. He's naked, but whole.
"Captain Flynt?" Wainwright asks softly
"It's Zane, just Zane. never captain. That was me brother." Zane pants heavily, wiping water from his face so he can see. His eye is still a milky white from being blinded but it looks healthier. his other wounds seem cleaner, not as botched or nasty. He smiles warmly. "I never want to go to the afterlife if it meant leaving you lot. Smart feckers, all of ye."
And Wainwright and Alistair are tackling him into the waters, both of them laughing and crying because holy shit this one man is immortal, he has to be, there is no way. And Zane gets to kiss them both under the lake surface. He's laughing like it was nothing. The crew are running through the water in celebration. And Zane feels so damn good. He's happy. He's alive. And Jack is dead. Alistair and Wainwright share a kiss before taking more kisses from Zane
Oh you bet your sweet ass that they're going to get married at one point. And being a "back then" thing Zane is standing at the steering wheel as they are on the journey home. They're way away from the Oasis galaxy, halfway to the Jakobs section of the Border galaxy. And Zane is more than happy to be the one to marry Wainwright and Alistair. He's got the words written down for them so he speaks out to the crew and the pair as they stand just below the wheel deck. They're in new clothes as they're anchored back at Port Leio. And Zane watches as soon as he asks them to recite their vows. He's happy as hell to be the one to do this for them. He watches them exchange rings before he's has to clear his throat. "As Commander of this ship and Pirate lord of the Border galaxy I am pleased to pronounce you as husbands. Go ahead and kiss as you enter this new chapter of life."
Zane jokingly saying that he'd let them have his bed if he can be posted up i a nice inn at port. And Wainwright laughs. "Zane my boy, I own this port, the luxury hotel is ours for the week. Your ship is going to get repaired. We may also have a surprise for you later tonight if you'd like."
END
#wainlock#zwainlock#wainwright jakobs#alistair hammerlock#zane flynt#fic#alternate universe#Borderlands 3#borderlands#bl3#my fic#pirate au#otp: wainlock#otp: zwainlock
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whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister.
~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~
under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY
( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )
background
the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!
woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking, >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd
during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.
evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.
her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!
they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?
not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.
the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns
but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.
fun facts?
evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP
very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn
LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to
as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably
her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour
loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh
bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere
not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from
never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes
is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY
weird plots???
best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly
enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it
u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up
just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~
past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO
ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama
hit on her itll b funny
anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off
someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK
someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa
any of the college kids need a tutor?
roommates?
ANYTHING PLS HMU <333
#;;ooc ( out of crissy ).#hello this is angry daughter shes scary but we stan#sorry this was so long pls hmu#ALSO LOOK AT MY COOL ICON!!
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