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midnight-moth · 6 months

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Ok, so i don’t know who read what but for any of this to make sense, one of Phantom’s horns is broken. I guess that’s the most important part. The other important part is that Mountain in my mind has antler type horns and he sheds them.

So …

Kintsugi

CW past abuse mentioned, hurt/comfort

Phantom feels very self conscious about the broken horn. It’s like wearing a permanent bruise on his cheek, or a split lip. And he already has scars that will never heal. But this is different. Because it hurts a little. Sometimes it hurts a lot.

Like a tooth it’s connected to nerves and they’re just shy of being exposed. It’s irritated by the cold, by touch, or if he has a headache. In fact he believes he gets headaches because of it.

He’s tried all kinds of things but nothing really works. Nothing fills in the gaps quite right. Everything he’s tried is literally just a bandaid. Because he realizes that it’s not actually physical. And there’s nothing he can do.

The others can see him wincing when he pulls his helmet off. Even glamoured away it becomes a constant source of pain. He prods it with his fingers and his jaw clenches tight and he wishes he could just numb the pain all of the time. But that would take more energy and focus than he has. And no amount of quintessence is going to make the tissue grow back.

Mountain has an idea. What if some of the pain is like - for lack of a better term - a phantom limb. What about a prosthesis?

The pattern of the break isn’t too complicated. He thinks he could make an approximation of a match. But how to actually adhere it to the surface, he isn’t sure.

He looks over to the collection of bric-a-brac he’s collected on tour and his eyes land on a piece of pottery.

Kintsugi - a black earthen bowl threaded with gold. Resin and metal, fragmented pieces not only whole again, but stronger. And beautiful.

The bone white of his antler certainly wouldn’t match the onyx of Phantom’s horn, but they would compliment each other surely.

Mountain decided to consult some of the others, he wasn’t sure if he was overstepping, or being presumptuous. Phantom had always been clear that he didn’t need anyone to fix his eyes. That they weren’t broken. But he could still see - in his own way, and it didn’t hurt.

This was different. They all agreed. But their consensus was irrelevant if it wasn’t what Phantom wanted. Mountain decided that it would be more persuasive if he actually had something to show him. So he set to work carving. He shattered a few using the wrong tools, some were too big, some too small. He was grateful that some sentimental part of him always kept the ones that fell.

He felt like he finally got it right. Or as right as he could without creating some kind of mold. That would spoil the element of surprise. Which somewhere along the line became a part of it.

Late that evening, when Phantom had curled up with his head on Swiss’s lap and his feet tucked under Dew’s knees, he crept into the room like a thief. Which was silly because Phantom was the only one who was asleep. Others were carrying on conversations, the tv was on, light flooding the space from the various lamps scattered across the room.

The pack was all very aware of his preoccupation with this. And they’d already held up the other prototypes to Phantom’s unconscious form to see if they would fit. Tonight was no different, Swiss took the carved half of a horn and held it as close as he dared.

It looked right. It looked level. It had the same curve and bevel as the others. Something so tightly wound in Mountain’s chest begun to unravel. He hadn’t realized how involved he’s become. A single mindedness that had been consuming most of not all of his waking thoughts over the last few weeks.

He’d already purchased some ready made epoxy after learning that the natural resins came from poison ivy. After wandering in late one day covered in a rash, he consulted the internet for an alternative, feeling a little bit betrayed by his own greenhouse.

He still needed gold. A fact he lamented over at breakfast. Lunch. Afternoon tea. Later that evening, he received several visitors. They each came with an offering.

A broken chain that Cumulus didn’t wear anymore, Swiss with a single cuff link whose partner was missing, Aether took one of the small gold hoops threaded through his ear right out and placed it in Mountain’s large palm. He’s collected pieces from almost everyone.

Dew had something else to offer him. Fire. The kind of heat that Mountain couldn’t conjure in the Abbey’s hearth.

He sat patiently that night with a pool of gold and black in his palm while Mountain filled in the small fissures and cracks in the antler. Maybe it wasn’t necessary, but he wanted it to be strong. And it when it was finished, it did look beautiful.

The final task was convincing, or rather offering it to Phantom. Which was perhaps the most difficult. Mountain had put so much time, work, and care into this. At least if Phantom said no it would make a cool pendant for a necklace.

Mountain decided not to waste much time the next day, to ease the burden of anxiety he carried knowing Phantom might reject his offer, or be outright offended by it.

He found him curled in a spot of sun on the couch, digesting his breakfast and playing a game boy color which may as well have still been the height of technology for him.

The bit of antler and gold felt hot in his palm as he kept it in his fist behind his back.

“Hey Mounty, whatcha doing?”

Well, he was standing there awkwardly, staring. “Well, I have something for you. But only if you want it of course. It was just a thought. There’s no pressure. In fact you might think it’s stupid. Maybe it is stupid….”

“Woah, woah, stop trying to talk me out of it. I don’t even know what it is yet!” Phantom paused the electronic warbling coming from the device and put it on the coffee table.

“So, what is it?”

Mountain watched his tail dancing behind his back, like a kit about to open a birthday present.

“Please, just stop me if this upsets you.”

“Okay, I don’t know what you’re gonna give me that will upset me, is it more chores?”

“No bug, I made something for you. For your horn.”

“What do you mean?” Phantom’s fingers automatically reached for the broken appendage, running his fingers along the severed edge.

“I made a - a - well, here.” Mountain dropped the object into Phantom’s outstretched hand.

“Oh.” Phantom rolled the object around in his hands. It was smooth, it looked like Mountain’s antler, but the surface had been polished, lacquered. The fine crevices had been filled with gold epoxy, like little veins of sunlight.

“You hate it. I shouldn’t have assumed. I know - you’re not broken, you don’t need fix-“

“I love it.”

Oh no, his eyes were glazed over with a pool of tears. If he cries I’ll cry, Mountain thought. But too late. Two big fat tears dripped on his hand.

“I just thought maybe it would help. With the -“

“Pain.”

“Yeah.”

Mountain went on to tell him that everyone contributed something. Whether it was the gold in the piece or the flames that forged it together.

And if he was willing, he and Dew could attach it. But he had to be sure. Getting it off would surely be painful.

Phantom practically launched himself into Mountain’s lap.

“I want it. Can we do it now?”

“Yes, bug. Dew’s waiting.”

His ears must’ve been burning, Dew rounding the corner with a small brush and a pocket full of metal.

Phantom watched in fascination as the hunk of gold turned to a smoldering puddle in his hand. Mountain fished his glasses out of his front pocket and took the brush from Dew.

“I’ll have to work fast. It’ll set quickly. So, are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Mountain doused the brush in the epoxy whilst whispering a small prayer to Lucifer himself that it wouldn’t actually hurt when he touched Phantom’s horn. He’s stared at it while the ghoul was sleeping enough to know that there was no way the nerve was actually exposed. And that the pain may very well be emotional in nature.

He dabbed a thick glob of resin right in the center and waited for Phantom to scream. But he felt nothing at all.

Mountain worked faster now, painting the surface of the prosthesis and his horn before setting the newly carved piece on top.

He watched some of the epoxy spill out between the cracks, creating a glittering gold vein along the fused edges. He held his breath, waiting for too much to spill out and drip down the side, but it stayed in place. All those practice runs helped, and he was grateful for the abbey’s sacrifice of a few dinner plates.

“Well, it’ll take a few hours to harden completely. So I wouldn’t go head butting anyone. But it’s done.”

“Can I look?”

“Of course you can, bug.” Mountain dropped the brush into Dew’s outstretched palm as he rolled the cooling metal around in his hand like play dough.

He didn’t follow, even though they’d all helped, this was really Mountain’s labour of love.

Mountain followed to the ornate mirror in the hallway leading to the dorms. He couldn’t bare to look even though he’d already seen it. Because Phantom hadn’t, and he couldn’t bear it if Phantom didn’t like it.

Phantom was inspecting it close enough that Mountain wasn’t sure if he could see it at all. And then he remembered that of course Phantom would see it in his own way.

And he did, all of the donated objects carried little bits and pieces of their magic. And of course the antler was saturated with it. It was a part of Mountain at some point.

So to Mountain it looked like black and white, fused by gold. To Phantom, it looked like lichen greens and aqueous blues, copper ore and violet flower petals. It looked like his pack, how he saw them.

“I don’t know how to thank you for this.”

“You don’t have to. If you’re happy with it that’s all I need.”

“You know, I really thought I was broken. Beyond repair. But all of you, you fixed me. Filled up all my cracks and weak spots and now I’m whole again. But more than that, I’m better than I was. Stronger.”

Mountain couldn’t find the words to reply. Just strong arms and a hug that threatened to crack Phantom’s ribs, and if Phantom hadn’t been mended as he was by his pack, maybe he would’ve.

#this idea has been floating around in my brain since June #I guess when I first wrote about him #I know this is so very sappy #I do not care #mountain ghoul #phantom ghoul #Aeon ghoul #nameless ghouls #midnight moth writes

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