#i don't want to do this again. i don't.

[camellia-thea]

.

#it's been. a week. and this upcoming week is only going to continue. #i have 40 dollars to my name. my entire family bar my mother is ill. we are flying internationally to go home. #my sister spent all evening sobbing in my arms because she's also sick which means she can't do the things she really really wanted to #*i* haven't been able to do anything since day 2 of said holiday and so i've missed the entire thing and that's not at all gutting #and the government *still* won't pay me. so again 41.85 to my name. #i'm sort of just waiting for everything to implode even worse. #like. something else has to go wrong. there's no way that we're finished with whatever this hell is. #it's just shit. really shit. i feel like shit. both physically and mentally. #it's just like a massive set back. i feel like i don't know my limits again. #oh hey! crying made you feel like you couldn't sit up on your own! congrats! #walking outside to sit in the sun while people were out took you out for a day and a half! #and like. i'm not recovered at all so it might change but this is so fucking scary #i don't want to do this again. i don't.

[egophiliac]

was gonna wait 'til I'd done all the poms, but it's been a day, so have Vil with a Salazzle 🍎

#art #twisted wonderland #poketwst #what are they plotting? you don't want to know. #sigh. once again the whole 'i don't wanna do more than two each' thing is coming back to bite me. #salazzle was the immediate obvious one and then there were like two or three others i was really torn between #(milotic is the other obvious-seeming choice but there were others i felt fit more in different ways and...yeah) #then i remembered i don't actually have to draw more than one pokemon so here we are #with the ✨QUEENS✨ #(me drawing salazzle's weird little feethands: heheheheh)

[licollisa]

Three Earthlings

In which Sans was a dinosaur kid instead of a space one (.)

#i always wanted to redraw that painting #anyway i packed so many details on that first pic #3 pride flags in total and i designed a whole ass surface monster school logo in canva #and sans is wearing a cloud patterned cardigan cus do you really love him if you don't make him a pinterest girl #undertale #sans #frisk #babybones #lico arting #the deal was they don't try to learn each other's lore again lmfao

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #chilchuck tims #kabru #BF in this context could be boyfriend or best friend. The line is so blurry. #Chilchuck less so but whatever is going on between Shuro and Laios & Kabru and Laios is giving strong: #“dude if you were a girl I'd date the hell out of you”. And from the genderswap extra's that sentiment is canon for BOTH. #This was made prior to the translation of the Laios & Kabru & Shuro restaurant date comic and honestly I am just feeling vindicated. #I don't even know what to call this dynamic other than a situationship. There is so much going on between all of them. #Even on a purely platonic reading - the miscommunication and male yearning for friendship hurt so bad. #When we got the Big Hug scene in the epilogue arc I was whooping and hollering! Pure catharsis moment! #I also don't like hugs very much so I really felt it went Shuro ('hates being touched') went in for the bear hug. #Do not get me started on the agony of 'always lying' Kabru telling the truth (I just wanted to be friends) #and 'always believes' Laios thinking it's another lie and brushing him off. #I am once again supporting dungeon meshi day by posting art. Please watch dungeon meshi. #obligatory edit because I’m tired: YES. Chilchuck cares for Laios and him admitting it was a huge part of his arc #YES he is more just fed up with him that actually hating him. #I needed a third guy to be canonically done with his ass for the THREE WEED SMOKING GIRLFRIENDS reference

[lazylittledragon]

do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

#ramble #yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am #and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. #drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks #i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me #one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know #i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary #some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier #and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless #signs that i should go to bed ^^^^ #i will resume my pity party tomorrow

[bejeweledbaby]

obsessed with fics where steve and eddie were each other's first kiss when they were children but they don't connect the dots when they meet again as adults. Neither realize that this eddie is that eddie and this steve is that steve.

let me set the scene:

the older kids are having a small get together at steve's place and they're all sharing their first kiss stories. eddie starts regaling the group with the story of his first kiss with this beautiful boy at summer camp who had gorgeous hazel eyes and the softest hair. steve thinks the story sounds a little too similar to his first kiss. he starts connecting the dots when he realizes the chocolate button doe eyes he used to dream about years ago are the same chocolate button doe eyes he's been dreaming about in recent months. when it's steve's turn to share his first kiss story, he's like, "well, actually you've already heard it." and now eddie's connected the dots and pulls him into the bathroom to kiss about it. and there's some heartfelt love confessions and then they ride off into the sunset together.

#i could've totally articulated this better #i am not a writer but i am always thinking about steddie meeting at summer camp and then never seeing each other again #and when they do they don't realize who the other person is #anyway #if someone wants to write a fic or rec me a fic about this #please do #like please please please please #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things

[quixoticanarchy]

what’s really ironic about the “just let everyone get infected w covid!! herd immunity!!” arguments now is that letting the virus run rampant through the world has actually achieved the opposite: everyone may get infected, but then they’ll just keep getting infected. delta infections didn’t protect against the original omicron variant. omicron BA.1 doesn’t protect you against BA.2.12.1. none of them really protect you against BA.4 and BA.5. mass infection is not going to create mass immunity, it just means that with every infection you’re rolling the dice on what this unpredictable and very creative virus is going to do to you

#play stupid games (encourage mass infection) win stupid prizes (mass infection... w indefinite reruns)!!! #covidposting at work again bc it really never changes (except for the worse) #don't even get me started on the ppl who originally were just lambasting the herd immunity crowd but now seem totally fine w it #bc 'vAcCiNEs pRoTeCt aGaiNsT sEveRe dIsEaSE' well maybe i don't want to take that risk!! #maybe i don't want to see what an infection will do to me! but thanks for fucking around so that i can find out :// #coronavirus #covid19 #public health #skravler

[ruubesz-draws]

Quality time with the eldest (Earth) and the youngest (Minus One)! Whatever could go wrong??

Yet again, another cat moment for Minus One. He likes Legendary the most out of all the brothers

Goodbye, Minus One... you will be missed :'(

(Pro tip! Be careful with your belongings at the beach. You never know what might happen to it)

#godzilla #godzilla x kong: the new empire #godzilla minus one #godzilla earth #godzilla ultima #shin godzilla #godzilla x mothra #earth and minus one having some quality time #but then ion dragon had to ruin it #it's always that guy #at least minus one is strong enough to defeat him lol #and he's safe! #he enjoyed his lil flight #but do it again and Earth will defo have a heart attack #and probs destroy the whole planet #and we don't want that now... #do we? #btw #I STILL SHIP GODZILLA AND MOTHRA AND I AM GOING TO DRAW SHIP ART JUST YOU WATCH ME HHHHHHHRRRGGGG #anyway Ultima is into science so he's been... busy ig #shin is just shin #i wish i could sleep like shin #do not repost #my art

[buggachat]

(random s5 finale musings) tbh I don't think Marinette chose to keep The Secrets™ from Adrien because Gabriel asked her to. I feel like Marinette keeping secrets like that is so consistent with her character; she hates giving people bad news, she hates rocking the boat, she hates upsetting people, she always chooses to keep any 'controversial' information to herself for as long as she can get away with (examples: bubbler scarf, telling Queen Bee she was benched, confessing to Adrien, warning Chat Noir about Scarabella or Rena Furtive, never told Chat Noir about Chat Blanc, etc) that I just totally believe she would've done it either way. She was even already having nightmares about Adrien hating her for finding out she defeated his father, so I feel like Gabriel's request was moreso giving her a go-ahead than it was a primary deciding factor, yknow?

#ml s5 spoilers #tbh half the time when thinking about it I forget that gabriel asked her to do it at all #because it just feels like such a Marinette™ thing to do to me lol #to be fair maybe I'm downplaying it? I do think Gabriel's plea struck some emotional chord with her too and helped push her that direction #but again I. totally believe she'd do it either way #and I do strongly believe that her decision is moreso ''I don't want to hurt Adrien'' than it is ''I want to honor Gabriel's final wish'' #she loves to avoid verbal/emotional problems and hoooo boy idk a worse verbal/emotion problem than #telling your boyfriend that his entire life is a lie and that he's not entirely human and that he was abused and controlled and puppeteered #all his life and also that his father was a terrorist and that she saw his mom's corpse in the basement #I mean. I don't think I'd have the emotional maturity to break that to someone either and I'm not.... FOURTEEN.... LOL

[lilybug-02]

Bribed with Chocolate. The way it should be.

Part 22 || First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

More to come as this is a two-parter. But you know how I am with schedules.

Bonus:

I think this was an equally possible reaction from Chara.

#Chara and Azzy have another talk #Finally Chara shows their mischievous side. #and Azzy knows Chara's language well #my art #deltarune chara timeline #art #bread #deltarune #ngl im so happy with how that chocolate shake came out. I want to eat it so bad #yay 6 pages of taking :') i hope you guys like that lmao #Glad I got this one done in basically a month and a week! Hah. I'm trying me best :') Halloween.. Exams and a ton of other things came up #surprisingly these backgrounds weren't terrible to do... I mean took more than two hours but you know what I mean #i struggled with how to frame the background though. I actually liked drawing it. But because both the background and my characters-- #--are super colorful I have to make sure I don't muddle the whole page. #Ive been thinking of doing the overworld in black and white recently... may help me actually finish the comic lol. idk i may make a poll #gonna try and get the new part out in maybe a month again? sorry. Thanksgiving and Christmas get me exhausted.

[meagancandraw]

You ever think about how neither of them got to say goodbye?

#TSAMS #Sun and Moon Show #The Sun and Moon Show #TSAMS Lunar #SAMS Lunar #Sun #SAMS Sun #FNAF Sun #FNAF #Five Nights At Freddy's #MeaganCanDraw #I love New Moon a lot don't get me wrong but Old Moon's and Sun's relationship wasn't black and white (as much as NM wants to insist it was #YES Old Moon treated Sun horribly YES he wasn't the best person but #their relationship was also complicated and messy and they both genuinely loved each other despite everything #So much of what they did was for each other and that adds even more to the tragedy of their relationship and Moon's death #Sun and Old Moon's final conversation was them fighting #Moon's final in-person words to him were “I love you and I'm sorry” #to which Sun didn't say anything bc he was mad at him (which I don't blame him for given everything that happened in that episode) #Do you think Sun has realized this? How often does he go back to that moment #How often has he imagined himself saying or doing something different? Something that would've resulted in them leaving that bunker togethe #Meanwhile Lunar lost the person who gave him a new life and a family that actually cares about him #And he was in Moon's head for months and saw first hand how much his regrets and trauma affected him #Both of which would eventually destroy him due to the cycle of self-loathing he was trapped in #How much does HE think about that? #Anyway sorry for not posting for nearly (checks watch) two years?? #It'll likely happen again #1k

[ryuucae]

Bygone days

#ffxiv #ff14 #ancients #hades #hythlodaeus #azem #art #digital art #illustration #FF14 again sighs BUT #I have wanted to do a drawing with these three since forever! #And i thought the BG was going to break me #BUT I DID IT WOO #Not half bad I don't think! #It took me every bone in my body to not change the colors though LOL I went into this w/ a palette in mind and I needed to stick to it!!!

[egophiliac]

at this point I'm not going to finish this, but I need everyone to know that I don't CARE that it was Kamejim, this scene has been replaying itself in my brain for the past week --

#art #super sentai #kingohger #king-ohger #let them dance for real! #LET THEM DANCE FOR REEEAAAL #me at the preview: oh no i really don't want an episode about himeno romance #me after the episode: i need more exactly like this please #i have. a problem. #you know i won't say i forgot that sebastian is actually like 25 and just wearing old age makeup 24/7 #because i am incapable of ever forgetting the most incredible character trivia of all time #but i was not expecting this backstory. i can't believe they managed to improve on it. #i did however manage to forget that one nurse is named ~elegance maun~ #sorry everyone else you are all great #but i do think ishibana is the best actually #then again we are headed back to toufu next episode. hmm...

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

#writeblr #i was doing a lot with high school students. over and over again #other teachers kept asking me what i was doing differently - why the kids listened to me. i am not particularly foreboding #and i have a pretty firm personal policy of never reacting in anger #godhelpme. #i was always kind of taken aback #because in general the kids were pretty easy. i explained i needed to keep everything “PG-13” because this was my workplace #and it was kind of their workplace #too. besides #i love swearing #and since i couldn't swear #neither could they - so if they were going to say “fuck” or become violent #they needed to choose a really specific time #because we only get “the one”.. sure enough - nobody wanted to waste the one very specific “fuck” utterance. kids listened. #i think just because - that rule makes sense. the kids understand that i don't want to be unfair to them #that censorship is stupid #but that i'm under these rules too so like let's ride it out together #also i look young and tbh between me and u nobody wants to make the nice english teacher cry #the way these kids defended me to their friends was really genuinely so heartwarming bc the Grouchy Frat Boy #would be like MISS RAQUEL DOESN'T DESERVE THAT KIND OF AN ATTITUDE BRO DON'T TALK BACK TO HER

[strawbcrrycandy]

Fearbook Ghouls

#my art #monster high #mh g3 #mh #monster high g3 #draculaura #twyla boogieman #twyla #twyla boogeyman #i dont remember how its spelled 😭 #toralei stripe #the new dolls are sooo good i really hope they get here someday #this is a cry for help mattel #do you want my money #man i don't like how twyla turned out i may draw her again by herself #i hate how it all turned out actually #oh well