#i dont think it helps that for the most part there arent day to day memory barriers.

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

me, every night for the past three weeks: oh im feelin good rn! and i had a good day today!! im definitely not gonna lie awake filled with anxiety and dread over my future tonight :D

me, lying in bed 20 minutes later looping famous last words: by talos this cant be happening

#its like im fine literally all day qnd then i start to get ready for bed and the Dread sets in #like its an actual physical feeling in my stomach and i just suddenly out of nowhere have to hold myself back from crying #i literally go from perfectly happy to on the verge of tears in an INSTANT and idk whats causing uty #it #like i know broadly ehat the causes are but idk whats causing the specific switch at night #am i tired?? is it just bc im tired??? bc its not consistently at the same time and most of the time i dont *feel* tired #or is it just like. i knoe im going to bed so i know im gonna be alone with my thoughts and so they all come and hit me at once??? #idk idk idk i just know i hate it and i want it to stop i want everything to fucking stop #id say i need a minute to breathe but really ive been using the past four months as my minute to breathe & thats part of the fucking problem #because ive been putting this all off for so long bc its so overwhelming but now theres so much igotta do and theres real tangible deadlines #so i cant keep putting it off but i DO and its just making it all even more overwhelming and my parents arent fucking helping #but its not even their fault because im chosing not to talk to them about this bc talking to them about it makes it all real #and i dont want it to be real yet im not fucking ready for it to be real yet i just need a goddamn minute TO FUCKING BREATHE #i wish i could freeze time and just give myself a day where none of this matters #actually a days not long enough i think i need like. two weeks. two weeks for me to get my shit together where none of this bullshit exists #and i can just do whatever i want and not have to think about deadlines and decisions and the fact that this is all ive wanted since the #7th fucking grade and now that its actually here i cant fucking stomach the thought of it being real because im a goddamn coward who cant #fucking commit to anything or get themself to DO anything and i know its not really my fault bc i probably have adhd and i get #knocked off my ass with a migraine every ither fucking day but i still feel like i should be more prepared for this than i am #and im not prepared and im not ready and i cant get myself ready because i cant do things like this myself because i dont really want to be #doing them at all #like sure! the bitch can write a 400+ page fanfiction no fucking problem!! they can find time for that but a college essay?? even finding #schools to apply too???? dont be fucking ridiculous they cant even get half an app done in the time it takes them to write a two 6k chapters #delete later

[oscill4te]

everything always peaks me. then im on the other side, see so much hostility, just as bad as what peaked me, and its like nvm. damn. oscillation at its finest.....

#i made a post like this before but i fell into a very bad trap where i just ranted about “both sides” and thats never really helpful #i think there is just a lot of “us VS them” in this world. no one is ever willing to hear others out. they just look at characteristics #of yours and make broad assumptions about you. #i dont know. i feel like everyone in my generation is so willing to jump for your throat these days for different opinions #its their right of course; but i dont know. its like if you have even a slightly different opinion on something; you cant discuss it 2gethe #i want to meet some other fellow normies man; idk #and i say that as someone who isnt really “normal” in most peoples eyes #but i can chill and talk with ppl who have diff opinions from me as long as... they arent super hostile and think in black&white... #mostly feminism and lgbt stuff im talking abt here but yeah. i just want this world to be safe for women & lgbt+ folks yknow #i base a lot of my opinions on that #im trying to just. not care anymore. im just a human at the end of the day and so is everyone else #everything feels so black and white. i just want to belong somewhere. i dont know. #my parts all have different opinions on things so i never have a stable stance on anything #i just try to have compassion and reduce my cognitive dissonance as much as possible #that led me to veganism. lgbt rights. feminism. but even within these groups there is so much hate and fighting #i cant pretend i dont fall into the black and white thinking but i always actively try to challenge it #i tell myself: the world is not out to get you. but why does it feel like it is? clearly everyone else feels like that too

[newdayslinguine]

.

#god i love watching videos of people cleaning like hoarders houses #its so satisfying #my family arent hoarders but like. it’s getting there. #i could probably get rid of half of the things i own like im part of this #but like in theory i can and someday will do a big clear out #which is very different from hoarding disorder #like for me its just financial anxiety #and thinking smth like the moneys already gone if i never use it #that helps with dealing with it at least #anyway that got personal. all this to say: cleaning youtube is so cool and fun #esp midwest magic cleaning #big fan. the guys autistic and actually understands hoarding disorder and makes sure to set aside valuable stuff #and like admits to not making his own bed most days and like seeing cleaning people mention stuff like that is really encouraging like you #dont have to be perfect even people whose lives are about cleaning aren’t necessarily perfect

[ranboolivesaysstuff]

IMPORTANT POST PLEASE READ

Im gonna be honest and open for a sec, and please do not take this as "oh I HATE my community or I dont like the people who watch me" but honestly as of late (and I did highlight this during the mcc bit), ive felt like I havent been able to really be in my own community simply because of the constant way that "discourse" is handled. Making vague posts and not really tackling issues in a good way, all that is going to do is just show people a big "THIS COMMUNITY BAD" sign and not actually help anything within the community, all its going to do is have the good and potentially good people leave or not join in the first place. The way that discourse is treated that ive seen has been the main reason why I have started to try to distance myself, which has been the most heartbreaking thing I have had to do. I want problems to be solved in a mature, civil way, with either a dm or a reply, not an entire vague thing that only says "bad things are happening" and doesnt elaborate on anything or barely elaboratesa and only gives people on both the inside and outside a bad sign of what the community is. Making posts whenever something happens being like "here we go again" is only going to highlight the wrong things, and actually DOESNT help the issue at all! The problems should be discussed directly with the people who are doing said problems FIRST! Bring attention to behaviors and things that arent good DIRECTLY! And also, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO!!! It is not your duty as a viewer or fan of me to be involved in any of this if you do not want to! Just enjoy the content and make silly posts! As someone who constantly tried to fix and get into every problem as it was happening, it took a huge toll on my mental health, and I want you guys to just be able to enjoy the content without having to worry about what you say about it! Be constructive! Dont make posts again just being like "wow this community is so bad" because that doesnt solve literally anything! If you have enough passion to make the posts saying "wow this community is bad" then only post about that, you are only spreading that negative message, and not uplifting anything of actual value! And if the person you are trying to help is not willing or not listening, BLOCK! MUTE! DONT BRING MORE ATTENTION TO THE PERSON IF THEY ARE NOT BEING A GOOD PART OF THE COMMUNITY!!!! I know I say that if I see problems I will call them out, but I shouldnt have to babysit every single time a thing happens within the community as that just isnt a healthy way for a creator or a community to be handled. This does not mean that I do not care about the issues or dont want them fixed, rather it shouldnt take me having to make some grand statement every single time something happens it should take only your own self reflection and self awareness. And to add onto this, make sure that every once in a while no matter who you are you think and have that self reflection, you should be open to being willing to learn and grow as a person! And again, I do NOT want anyone taking this as "Wow this community is terrible" but rather that we just have things that need to be fixed and changed and THAT IS OKAY! I do not hate the community, I care so much about it that I want it to be a silly place for my content again! I want it to be the reason why people get into what I do because of it again! And I want to be able to just have fun and relax without having to worry about how every single thing that I may say could have someone stirring things up that simply dont help or solve anything! Take care of yourselves. And this isnt coming from a place of "I hate the community as a whole" but rather again I want to be able to exist and make content that we can all enjoy without having to worry about walking on eggshells around me or around eachother! At the end of the day im just a fella that wants to make silly videos for you all, and you are people who enjoy said videos. Nothing more. Nothing less.

[mokkkki]

the way you write is so beautiful... tips for somebody new to writing who wants to write like you?

YOU are so beautiful, thank you so much! im not sure about any tips i have, but ill give it a shot. these are what i personally believe to have been the most important things:

find your wavelength my writing became a lot more stylized and personalized after i found an author that i resonated with, as well as a couple of themes. it just helps to know what you are actually interested in writing in, versus what you think other people would like to read. im personally interested in writing about relationships and dynamics, so my writing will always be more character than action driven. also, it helps, because youre always going to end up writing what you want to write, even in the smallest of ways, so why not embrace it fully? write what you want to read. otherwise, you wont have fun. and writing is SO MUCH FUN. knowing what youre into and what youre trying to channel gives you a really strong basis for all of your writing - not only will it take time for you to find your wavelength, meaning that youll have to expose yourself to many different genres and authors, which is a must, youll always be able to look back at that ONE creative piece and grab some motivation from it.

expose and explore creativity is everywhere - tv shows, movies, books, fanfics, comics, art, architecture, history (!!!), mythology, sports, reality - literally everywhere you can think of. dont wait for inspiration because its everywhere if you look hard enough. familiarize yourself with the seven basic plots, the thirty-six dramatic situations, basic foreshadowing elements, and other essentials. this isnt something to study or memorize, just to KNOW - its good to be aware of the foundations of literature.

embrace the brainrot and maintain a balance become obsessed w your own ocs, your own plots, your own everything. be your own biggest fan. to enter an abusive relationship with your own work is extremely upsetting, because youre doing wrong by the wonderful world youve made, and doing wrong by that part of you that just wants to be creative, too - and if that happens, its probably because you arent writing what you want to write, or controlling what doesnt want to be controlled. let your characters be individuals, let them go where they want to go, just follow and note what theyre doing. sometimes writing is a passive activity rather than active creation, and thats okay! thats when you know youve built a solid world that can run by itself and you just contribute to. that being said, while theres nothing quite like the hours spent ravenously typing, you need to find a balance. you are as important as your work, because without you, the work wouldnt exist. i also reccomend forcing yourself NOT to write on specific days. some ideas need to marinate, and some people need to rest.

i hope this was helpful <;3 if you ever need more help (and this also applies to those reading), feel free to reach out! im open to being a beta reader or just a brainstorming partner. lots of love!

#writing tips #ask

[the-s1lly-corner]

Dude, imagine something like: TADC x Mime! Reader. Reader usually stays quiet most of the time, but sometimes they suddenly talk startling everyone around them. At the same time, they are like, very expressive, using exaggerated gestures and facial expressions, and usually communicates solely through their miming skills. And if you wanna go extra crazy THEY COULD ALSO HAVE SOMETHING LIKE MR. MIME FROM POKEMON, where they like, do a mimic of a wall, and then a invisible wall appears out of nowhere or something like that

I hope you understood what i meant, sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language 💖💖

TADC cast x mime!reader !

eueueu i totally understand what youre saying and i love the idea sm!! i love it when mime characters have mime physics, or when clown characters have clown physics!! love it so so so much!! sorry if this is a little short, ive been writing personal stuff all day and the back aches are starting to creep back in already </3

CAINE:

his jaw drops the first time you speak, he genuinely thought you were totally incapable of speech thanks to your whole theme going on... i think he would love your little mime tricks with the invisible walls and barriers and... did you just no clip through the floor while pretending to walk down some stairs...? where did you go?? where? was there another no clip glitch issue thing going on? he thought he fixed that...!

POMNI:

ah, a jester and her mime.... not the weirdest pairing... though granted pomni doesnt commit to the bit of being a jester and doesnt do tricks or jokes.. while you do commit... i think she would grow frustrated if you put a barrier up and made her slow down... calm down.. chill.. sure you understand the whole "finding the exit" thing going on with her, but rushing things probably wont help.... to time out she goes... probably gives you a side eye if she sees you just randomly walking on some invisible platform to just. leave in the middle of an IHA

JAX:

tries to coax you into using your powers for evil... i have a feeling jax doesnt like people who arent talkers... like being incapable of speak is one thing, i think at most is that he would make decisions for you (ie wrap an arm around your shoulder and be like "oh well me and (reader) were just thinking about......." yk? like in a joking way) but i dont think he likes quiet people... tries to coax you into speaking more... imagine you never spoke before in front of anyone and you finally reveal that you can talk, to jax, and he tries to tell everyone but no one believes him. psychological torment 101

RAGATHA:

i like to think she plays along with your mime antics, pretending to also be putting up invisible props and such... though her actions and movements are noticeably more sloppy and not as... fluid...? afterall, ragatha hasnt spent time practicing to be anywhere near your level! is a little surprised when she finds out your stuff is at least somewhat tangible within the digital world... thinks your emoting is cute..

KINGER:

so you know how he gets startled by gangle simply standing next to him? its like that with you, but he jumps when you randomly start talking next to him.. ponders... invisible safe square/cube/whatever... though i think part of the comfort of a pillow fort is that hes out of sight... but i think he would enjoy it at least a little if you created something like that for him

ZOOBLE:

enjoys that you dont talk much, zooble doesnt like chatty people i dont think... though they are willing to listen to you on days where you do feel like striking up a conversation... you actually get a laugh out of them when you banish jax to time out (aka putting up 4 see through walls around him for whatever length of time to atone for whatever crime he committed that day)

"he took my arm off.. give him an hour.."

GANGLE:

art kid meets art kid, you guys are both a little silly... okay sure your stuff is more performative, and while gangle does have a comedy and tragedy mask her thing is more so in drawing and painting imo, i love me artistic gangle... loves doing your makeup, if its not just a permanent part of your digital face, and can be customized... not much to be said here... theres comfortable silence between the two of you when you hang out since you dont talk often and gangle doesnt know what to talk about and may or may not fear ruining the dynamic between the two of you

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #jax x reader #ragatha x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

[footprint-in-the-snow]

I actually desperately want someone to explain every reference in the SATVB art please <3

okay so i havent figured out Everything but this is most of what i can gather. sorry there arent links to specific references im not supposed to be doing this i need to be packing for uni 😭 but this is everything off the top of my head !

starting from the left wall theres the peep show poster which matty has said to be his favourite show in a reddit comment, idk what the streets poster is a reference to, the ghost on an island is an antichrist reference 'theres a ghost on this island' and then the petrol can is an its not living reference as 'danny works in a petrol station'

so the back wall obviously the cancelled banner for lols, 4 days since last incident as a general meme reference?, do not use emergency only is likely a reference to mattys abstinence from social media and being a bit OTG, flushed away poster is obvious, the fake matty quote which he never said and was on the problematic, oasis poster as they need to stop marding and get back together!!! from Q with Tom Powell and various other Oasis call outs, Maroon 5 as problemattic beef, Newcastle United as duh, Frozen as he referenced liking frozen in a couple 2014 interviews particularly the moshcam (?) one, idk about the IDs and then the box from the philharmonic orchestra album, the icon from the mind shower detox thing they did for notes which was a 3d tour thing that's still up and then the height chart as matty is short <3 and the good boy points which i dont know what it is referring to specifically but i think its funny

now the window/right wall has la poesie est dans la rue is etched into the tree and is an easter egg in quite a few music videos and is a reference to love it if we made it, the minion i assume is a reference to the deuxmoi thing of matty sending minion memes to a girl, and then a camera i assume is a general comment on the lack of privacy you get as a celebrity and 'house with just three walls' etc

the couch and table has matty smoking and chained to the couch as a reference to the consumption bit and could be reference to the idea that he is stuck in a position of his own doing, hann is a wizard i presume as a hobbit reference? and then the dubai and malaysia flags as he got banned,oxygen tank from consumption, cross due to the religious signposting on his ig story and a juxtaposition to his atheism, thesaurus for those big words, infinite jest as its referenced in sincerity is scary, wine, cigarettes, xanax as a reference to 'Xanax and a newport' in part of the band, i live cum mug from the problemattic, american flag as a lot of their music is informed by Americana especially on notes(? maybe also just because america)

then on the floor here theres the coke bottles as matty cannot be seen without one, the piss/apple juice from when he was spotted with gabbriette, the fox i saw on twitter means temptation so could be a very subtle hint towards temptation from porn and the right and so on, raw meat from consumption and its being 'swept under the rug' so could be a metaphor for matty being problematic and it being glossed over by him, hairdye as there was twitter rumour he dyed his grays and matty has previously said he would not, flame and wok box as the boys used to work there, typewriter from the typed up letters he used to do but u dont know what 'im not a beatnik im a catholic' is a reference to, true romance is one of mattys favourites and was a key inspiration for the robbers video

i have no clue what this is other than human blunt? and seeds and beans? as a gyat reference? help?

this corner has the married computer so man who married a robot, lotion and tissues for activities, cow with glassjaw hoodie as a nod to when we are together and also the nme interview where he mentions that hoodie as the one he put on at 13 and took off at 19 if im correct, grass block from satvb promo, tent could be a nod to reading and leeds? then skeleton with the lab coat i dont know exactly but i think it could be another problemattic reference with me on the brain, and then 2013 george with his blue gatorade as in most gigs you can see his blue gatorade with its own stand!! (though i watched trsmnt the other day and it was orange) and he is producing i think it could have been drawn from a photo but i cba to find it

and last but not least, ross!!! who is also jesus as there were lots of memes surrounding him looking like jesus or being a personal jesus and so on, also could be to do with the problemattic post of ricky gervais on the cross for being an atheist, penguin!! because ross likes penguins, bees are a manchester symbol, beer, robber with the iconic 2014 shirt, greggs sausage roll i presume from when one got thrown onstage but also the twitter meme of 'i saw matty crying in x greggs' and then i think the last on is a mortal kombat character and nearly forgot but ross also has a lamp as he turned off the lamps at the end of when we are together during atvb on stage

#sorry if this is really messy and jumbled #but hopefully its a good overview!! #ethan goes off on one again #the 1975 #matty healy #ross macdonald #adam hann #george daniel #at their very best #asks

[joron1a-stardustlor]

Do you have scottbing hcs because im starving

the way i very audiably gasped and started jumping up and down when i saw this

Dont you worry fellow bretherin i'll feed the few scottning shippers out there;

SCOTTNING HCS [Scott x Lightning]

(Miniscule warning for child abuse/neglect and toxic relation ships*)

-Hmmm calling them either muscledirt or stardirt and nobody can stop me

-nobody would really be suprised if they were told scott and lightning were dating, but they never made it official, everybody knows but they just dont mention it

-Evil power couple who do very mean shit together

-their relationship has about three moods they are either fighting,making out or crying

-Lightning gets cold easily, so often he cuddles up to Scott for warmth, heas always suprised at how warm his skin is

-Scott is an unhinged farm boy, the biter even, will often wait for lightning to walk into a room to merely jump out from above and attack as a form of affection

-On the other hand Lightning does it at the most random moments

-Unless your're Sam or Brick who constantly encounter them doing this, you wont know if theyre serious or just messing with eachother

-For the most part they do this for fun and like to think of it as their own special way of showing affection

-Mommy issues x daddy issues exclusively*

-Going off from the last one Lightning always wanted to talk about what happened between him and his dad to Scott but he wasnt sure how to

-Scott then proceeded to tell Lightning about his Ma and how she used to beat him on how for most his childhood had deal with her liking his sister and treating him like shit to help him feel more comfortable

-Lightning's Dad always had high expectations and put a lot of pressure on him and ignored him when he failed, how after Cameron won, His dad had been ignoring his existence to the present

-The two often bonded over their parental issues

-Scott grew up eating dirt and gruel, the most he can cook is toast, bacon and eggs on the other side lightning is can cook amazing steaks and salads

-Scott of course pretends to hate Lightnings cooking, but in reality he made the best steak and salad you could ever dream of

-Lightning always calls out Scott for how skinny he is and always forces him to eat more steak

-Scott often replies to this with when is all the muscle in your body you get from steak going to work on his brain

-Lightning was willing to teach Scott how to properly cook a meal, leaving him a few simple ingredients to which one lightning since he realized he was missing some, when he came back Scott already burned himself and caused a fire

-they were supposed to be making hot dogs that night

-Scott likes tell Lightning hes a shmuck for being all rich and succesful and dare him to spend a week with him on the farm, to which of course Lightning said yes

-He quit after learning that all they had for breakfeast was a can of corn

-The amount of internalized homophobia i can fit in these two

-The two were very nervous to tell their parent about dating amother man but both their families were supportive

-Lightning started to fall for scott around the time he and courtney broke up

-Lightning and the other members of team dude were trying help Scott cope with the fact that courtney was just using him

-On the inside Lightning was kinda happy they broke up, mostly bc he knew courtney wasnt good for Scott

-Scott and Lightning insult eachother as a form of flirting with the other however the two arent too big on regualr flirtjng and compliments unless they feel like it

-They bust out the good tunes on saturday nights with some imagine dragons bursting through the radio/j

-As I have mentioned before, Scott and Lightning arent too big on regular romance but they do have their moments,

-Scott tried to cook something for Lightning bc he was having a bad day, and completly messed up and burnt the thing to a crisp, he was near tears at this so they just wrapped themselves up in blankets and cuddled for a while

-Both Lightning and Scott have scars after roti and they often caress the others scars as a form of comfort or reasurrment

-Scott has undiagnosed PTSD and depression, he often feels the need to push his feelings down and cover up anything he might make others feel like he is a nuisance

-He often has Nightmares or Panic attacks of Fang, Lightning feels guilty bc he is not good at comforting people and often needs Sam's help to make sure Scott doesnt hurt himself,faint,or hyperventilate too much

-In these situations the best thing Lightning can do is hug Scott and hope it calms him down

-Lightning likes watching sports live on tv or even better in the actual stadium, his favorite sports to play/watch are Football and Basketball, Scott despite not playing it himself argues with Lightning saying Baseball is better

-Lightning responds saying if he likes baseball so much to name every baseball player

-They enjoy doing stupid shit together, shit that could get them in trouble with police, stealing things,shoplifting,jaywalking, well thats Scott for the most part, all Lightning has ever done is steal a really expensive motorcycle

-They enjoy the others hobbies a lot, Scott always goes to Lightnings games and Lightning is always up for watching Scott hit and break bottles with a baseball bat

-Scott is Pansexual

-Lightning is Bisexual

Srry idk how to end hc lists but ty so much for asking me to make one

Dinner has been served :3

#total drama #total drama revenge of the island #total drama hcs #total drama headcanons #td scott #td lightning #total drama scott #total drama lightning #scottning #Muscledirt #THEM THEM THWEM #abt the image btw -> #THE WAY SCOTTS LOOKING AT HIM IM GOING INSANE OVER THESE TWO :33333

[papakhan]

Lol why would someone even say that. Like... idk im transmasc im personally mortified of the idea of getting pregnant but... its none of my business if another man wants to be pregnant why would there be any judgement there 😭😭😭 plus the post was very funny people need to stop projecting over a sillay little post. Have a good night king the haters dont get it

the thing is I totally understand trans guys being uncomfortable with the concept of (trans) men getting pregnant. In our society its a very gendered concept, it gets fetishised by weirdos online all the time and to a lot of (especially queer) afab people its strongly associated with control and abuse. I totally get it. That was me not so long ago but after a lot of research I became more comfortable with it because I want to have children one day. I shouldn't have to expose this part of myself as a defence against people calling me transphobic when I am literally trans and half the fight for trans people is "my body my choice"

what gets me is that the tumblr fallout community gets in this fucking argument allll the fucking time over whether the fallout universe should be "dark and gritty and ~realistic~" in regards to Everyone being transphobic Or if the wasteland should be some kind of trans haven without the binds of society. I personally lean on the latter and get a lot of comfort out of the idea that the Great Khans specifically are a bastion of trans joy and experience and to them women having dicks and men giving birth is just. normal.

the end goal for trans people should be to de-gender concepts like pregnancy and penis but we're never gonna fucking get anywhere if trans people project their dysphoria onto each other and start self-flagellating themselves whenever someone steps out of line or makes a stupid joke.

And yeah this is an overreaction to someone critising a stupid post of mine but I'm more mad at the wider culture of the fallout community (and tumblr) regarding this topic because like I said shit like this keeps happening. part of my job is about educating people about trans bodies and saying shit like "don't assume who can and can't get pregnant" and trying to help fellow trans people find comfort in a country that's actively trying to get them all murdered. To then log onto tumblr dot com and get called transphobic because I said I love headcanoning Papa as trans and him being able to deflect the Legion's misogyny because of his transness is like a slap to the face. you guys are meant to be the transgender love website what the fuck are you talking about?? Also Saying that I'm enabling transphobia by allowing people who arent trans men to reblog my post is also stupid and for the record most people in my notes right now are either trans people who are genuinely agreeing that Papa is trans or ghost fans who think I'm talking about their band (but are still trans and still agreeing).

sure maybe I should have put a trigger warning on the post or something because it might trigger someone's dyphoria, but just say that. Don't act like I'm the problem and that I'm too stupid to recognise internalised transphobia and calling me "too comfortable with joking about trans bodies" when 1. I wasn't joking About trans bodies and 2. ITS MY FUCKING BODY

My joke was about how Caesar cant handle Papa being trans. it was a joke about how society cant handle trans people who they can't clock. it was also a joke about how Papa comes from a society where transness is so normalised that he wrongfully assumes that its something everyone can do. At no point was I "nasty about trans bodies" like this person claims I was. In fact I think that pretending that I was says more about how they view trans bodies than it does about how I do, That I can mention trans pregnancy and they automatically assume I'm fetishing or being disrespectful.

anyway. that's a lot of shit. thanks for letting me ramble and tucking me into bed so sweetly <3

#ask to tag #txt

[carpsoup]

so in Arti's campaign, giving pebbles the garbage wastes pearl, he mentions "it [the illegal experiment] was taking too long" and "I didn't think she would--[collapse/die/etc]"

In what world did he even consider that slurping up aaalll the water wouldn't result in a catastrophic failure for Moon??? It might've taken ages to complete without murdering Moon, but surely the results would've been much better than 1 collapsed and 1 rotting iterator. It would've been different if he were a solo iterator, but he was not.

oh boy oh boy I do have some thoughts on this so Im gonna use this as an excuse to ramble a bit under the read more <3

Tbh I think he was just extremely desperate! When you bring a neuron to moon she comments how the inability to fullfill the task given to the iterators drove many to madness. We dont know how long its been since the ancients left. It could have been hundreds or thousands (if not more) years, or whatever their equivalent to years is. No matter how logical or smart the iterators are, that time spent frustrated and angry and in pain is enough to cloud anyones judgement, I think. And iterators arent just perfect logic machines, they can be led by emotions instead of the facts they know. We see this with suns sending pebbles the pearl despite knowing he would be too desperate to be careful with the experiment, and with moon not stopping pebbles even though she knew the danger she was in. So maybe pebbles did know it would damage her, but hoped despite that, that if he was just fast enough the damage wouldn't be too big. Maybe he wanted to trust his mentor that they wouldn't send him information on how to make an experiment that could damage or even kill him or his sister. And this is very much just my own interpretation, but maybe he didn't even register correctly that another iterator, especially moon, could get so badly hurt. We know from moon that iterators dying pretty much never happens, sliver being the big exception. Moon has been there long before pebbles was alive. And even if the entire reason he was built was to help her recover, she still lived and continues to live despite her age and faulty machinery. She has been a constant in his life since the day he was created. Maybe part of him knows that there is no way he wont hurt her. But how easy is it to listen to that when faced with an existence thats defined by not being able to die. And the frustration that comes with that. I think the thought of finally being able to find a way out of a existence they were most likely programmed to despise, not only for himself but for others as well, made it hard for him to think about the consequences. Being so close to a solution after all this time, maybe he couldnt wait any longer. Or maybe he did just use 100% of his big smart brain to be the stupidest motherfucker alive. Who am I to say

#What he did to moon and himself is still horrible #but I think the worst part about it almost is how understandable it is #does that make sense? #the iterators are in my brain constantly always. Sorry if this is absolutely incomprehensible #carpsounds #ask

[marcyyss]

' Summer Romance '

Bruce Yamada x Reader

I took this idea from a hc post, i dont remember the person's user so pls if u know it tag them :(

Summary: you and Bruce always go to the same summer camp, and since then you two are best friends! You guys know that you like each other but never make a move, till one summer

Today was the most waited day for you, it was the first day of summer camp and you get to see Bruce once again!

You were waiting for Bruce's car in the enter of the camp, you were nervous because your friends told you to confess to him this summer, you were always talking about him, his eyes, his smile, his hair and how much you missed him

As you were daydreaming about him, you heard a car parking close so you turned to that car and you saw the most handsome, cute, pretty and adorable boy of all time " Bruce Yamada " looking at you with a big smile, as always so you run to him and give him a big hug

— " Bruce, i missed you so much! "

— " I missed you too y/n! How are you? "

— " Im great of course, because im with youuu "

— " Haha stop it, my parents are here "

Bruce said goodbye to his parents and they left.

— " I love your parents, they are so sweet.. not like you "

— " I never saw YOUR parents tho "

— " They dont like you "

— " My in-laws dont like me?! "

It was a common joke between you two, everyone thought that you and Bruce were a couple so you let them think that because its funny

— " I dont like you either, next summer im going to stop going here and leaving you ALL alone "

— " Finally, a peaceful summer "

— " So Bruce.. We should get inside right? "

— " Sure, lets see what "FUN" activities we get this year "

You two enter the camp, it is a nice place, nature, friends, adults that they are supposed to be helpful but they arent.

Actually you guys are "famous" there, everyone know you two, and you know everyone

— " I always thought thag i will be super lonely here and everyone will hate me "

You said, randomly as always

— " Yeah, i know, but little silly me talked to you so now i have to stand you all summer. "

— " YEAH BUT, you love me, your parents love me, now kiss me Brucyyy~ "

— " BRUCY?! Thats the best nickname you could think of? "

— " Duh, what kind of name is Bruce anyways? I cant think of anything else "

— " DONT YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF MY NAME. "

You and Bruce were either the BEST team in the activities or rivals who wants the other to lose.

Like in some activitie which you and other person had one of ur feet tied together and you had to go to the finish line first to win!

You and your partner fall, and Bruce and his partner won. Of course you said that Bruce pushed you but he did not ( or he did?.. )

And in a fishing activie, you two were in the same team and the camp had fish to eat for a whole week

The part that you two enjoyed the most was sleeping time, you and Bruce sneak out of the cabins and go for a walk by the lake, its like a rutine of everyday, breakfast, activities, lunch, rest, activities, dinner, and walk by the lake

— " So.. This girl Penny looked at you with love eyes "

— " I kissed her last year, totally not worth it "

— " Maybe she got better in kissing? "

— " Maybe she didn't? I dont want to kiss her again, im traumatized for last time "

— " HAH, its not worse then when i had to kiss JAKE "

— " I Can't believe that you actually did it. "

— " I wasn't going to lose truth or dare "

— " Surprised that no one asked us to kiss tho "

— " Awww Brucyyy do you want to kiss meeee? "

— " Yeah. No. "

— " You are diying to kiss my lips mua muaaa "

time passes and you two sit near the lake

— " Im so exhausted, doing activities and games all day is tiring "

Bruce said, as he lays down on the floor

— " Yeah, i know, its kinda fun tho.. "

— " Of course it its, its fun spending time with you and beating you on games "

— " You know im the best "

— " Yeah sure y/n, I AM the best "

— " You know Bruce? I always liked you "

— " Ugh, disgusting "

— " You are disgusting! "

— " Yeah, i like you too "

— " Damn, i guess i should kiss your ugly and disgusting face now MMWAAAAK "

You grabbed his face and kissed him

— " Ew, so disgusting, you are a worst kisser then Penny "

— " Shut up. "

Agggg i love Bruce

#fluff #headcanons #fanfic #bruce yamada #bruce yamada x reader #finney blake #finney blake x reader #robin arellano #robin arellano x reader #the black phone x reader #vance hopper x reader #vance hopper

[mai-komagata]

canon

look when i say canon aint no thing i dont mean there isnt a shared. body of work from which we do interpretation, fanfic, fanart, whatnot.

what i mean is that text doesnt exist free from interpretation. these things didnt actually happen. art only exists insofar it is interpreted by subjects. is a author interview canon? that is a tricky question. authorial intent can inform our interpretation of media. but it doesn’t have to. so things that are extra textual can inform our interpretation and they also can not.

even limiting our selves to the things on the page, was that decision from set design an indication that the machine actually works this way, in a technical sense, or was it a limitation of budget, and is actually grander? or is it only symbolically that way, to evoke mystery, but doesnt mean future writers cant change it?

did an actor make a particular choice bc that is unchanging characteristic of the character? did they have a bad day, or was the scriptwriter that day wonky? and if they are part of the text are they valid?

i guess what im saying is that the audience is part of the general machine of understanding art. it isnt static. what brings you the most in depth understanding of the world, the most enjoyment, the most potential to tell more stories? i dont like the word canon bc it somehow mixes the idea of the text of the story and the interpretation of the story in a weird way so there can only be one.

I can tell you very clearly what the text is and what is extra textual, for sure. but i dont think that is the same as what people imply when they say canon… i feel what they mean when they say it is that only a strict literalist reading of the text is canon, and like… im not a fundamentalist in real life, why would i think that way about fun happy art?

because the implication is that if something is not canon it is just a headcanon… and like, no? that is the paradigm i think is not useful. there are things that are extra textual and subtextual that totally help in media interpretation. and contradictory things can coexist. but also, if they arent helpful then ignore them.

#media analysis #fandom #canon #look im a nobody #with a minor in media studies #but really who cares what i say #i never subscribed to literalist theology i aint doing it for fandom

[olivyh]

More format-less hc

So I tested positive for covid shortly after senior prom (which my school said was like the super spreader), and have been feeling like garbage since monday, so have an angsty hc/thought

TW: Mentions of illness, death if you squint and uhh tuna ig bc things go better in threes

Since Yuu is from another world with different diseases, they’re no equipped for the different viruses that can go around twst. This means that a common cold for yuu, since their body isnt used to it, could hurt them much, much more than it would hurt a person native to twisted wonderland. They dont have the natural immunity that everyone else has.

Imagine Adeuce making fun of yuu for falling sick over something that everyone gets as a kid, brushing it off and going about their day. they start to get worried when yuu doesnt show up to class the next few days, which turns into a week. crewel (since we all know crowley isnt doing much) takes them to the infirmary and, without any barriers to magic, magical solutions do nothing for them. that week turns into a month, and that month turns into two. The students don’t know what to do, the dorm heads are scrambling to find a solution because without yuu’s help, nrc has fallen into the disarray that it was before they got there.

the first years don’t care, they snap at their seniors and spend every available moment by yuu’s side. they still host their study sessions, just in the infirmary rather than the library. they still talk to their friend, even if their friend hasnt woken up since that first week. ace wishes he hadnt made that joke, he thinks its his fault that yuu fell so ill. he cursed them, he thinks. deuce tries every single of his mothers remedies, and laments every time they dont work. jack leaves the finished notes and schoolwork by their bed, and he feels a part of him sink whenever he sees how large the pile had gotten- so large that he had to move part of it to the floor. epel talks to yuu as if they can listen, pacing back and forth and ranting who knows what, mostly vils still-strict skincare regime (although he uses those same techniques on yuu, when he notices that they look particularly….gaunt, and pale. he doesnt want them to look like a ghost anymore). sebek can only stand and stare at what used to be his first friend besides silver. he’d known that full humans can get terribly ill, and that fae recover much faster than most species, but seeing it in person sends a chill down his spine. he returns to diasomnia in silence for the first time. grim is inconsolable, refusing to leave his dormleaders side even when offered the most expensive tuna there is, even when bribed and pulled at. he only ever leaves to take care of the dorm, which shocks the rest of the student body. the tanuki claims that he absolutely has ti keep the dorm clean or yuu will be upset with him. in reality, he cant stand to look at their sickened face anymore.

or malleus, spending every moment yuus other friends arent there by their side, quietly telling them stories from his homeland or trying his best to help them magically, but even he knows theres not much he can do without hurting them more. visitors soon notice little things among the gifts, small flowers, intricate jewelry (that is, jewelry that is much different than the gifts from the dormleader al-asim), small statues and books, and… who left a used “gao-gao dragon-kun” toy?

if they do wake up, the rest of campus will never take their presence for granted again, nor will they ever be alone ever again.

if they dont, i mean hey, ghosts exist in twisted wonderland! (really trying to bring the mood up here guys)

this turned out a ton more sad than i wanted it to, and i made myself sad, so im gonna go get myself a popsicle and skip

more of my online classes

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland headcannons #twst angst #twisted wonderland angst #twst yuu #ace trappola #deuce spade #jack howl #epel felmier #sebek zigvolt #malleus draconia #grim twst

[anti-endo-haven]

terrified to even use our sign off for this.

we, well, actually i, have been so fucking scared that this makes us invalid. i once talked about it and our system friends didnt go "oh yeah that happens!" they went "oh... hm thats weird, usually..." and its scared me. im so terrified.

normally, we dont split with roles. our mind and body have a huge struggle connecting, and we have a hard time understanding our needs due to trauma and other disorders (adhd, reactive attachment disorder, undiagnosed autism), so i think that may be why. we have some caretakers and soothers, a worker, a protector, and one alter whos kinda like a gatekeeper but he cant control memories, but thats all ive ever seen. most are fictives with no clear roles.

ever since i figured out were a system, i.. regretfully didnt try to change how we– how **i** functioned. i let everyone do whatever they wanted, and i simply did everything. i tried to function like a singlet while i had 70+ people in my head dissociating or screaming or complaining. sometimes others help, but its not their role. sometimes a few have a mindset of "i dont have to do it, im new here, idk what to do" and i get it. theyre new, they really dont know how to live our life and function yet.

but we never even tried to function as a multiple

we are extremely young, no adult or professional believes us, we arent diagnosed, and were afraid to talk to our therapist because she gives us a weird look and constantly tries to shoot our experiences down as something else.

no one is a true frequent fronter, so i have a hard time thinking of who i could "assign" roles to.

i think my bfain needs help in figuring out WHAT we need help with, because were just splitting alters with no roles. they dont seem to be fragments really, or maybe they are and i just cant tell the difference?? because they feel fully fledged. just no role. its like my brain just gives me random guys on the street to hire or something.

its frustrating, and holy fucking shit my head hurts so bad right now auuggh

It’s not weird to split and an alter have no role upon first being around. It’s normal for a few, if not a majority, of systems. Even we do this.

We give the parts that split with no roles a few days to get their bearings and see if they front or if they’re just around to help out other alters or something else. If they don’t front, they have no role because they’re the only ones that need to know what they do at that given time. If they front? Hey, what role best describes you? We have a list. One doesn’t describe you? Okay, we’ll go to a blog and anonymously ask for a role name with a flag specifically for you and others like you to have a role as a just in case.

Not every alter needs a role or has one that you can tell. It’s okay to not force roles onto an alter.

If you can, try asking them what they’d like to help with. Cleaning? Caretaker. Protecting the body from others? Protector. Things like that.

You’re young. Focus on what you need rather than what others want from you. Be patient with yourself and see what everyone can say in your system to help function together.

#anti endo #did system #system #osddid #endos dni #traumagenic system #actually did #endos not for you #actually traumagenic #did plural #did plurality #osdd plural #osdd plurality

[samooooo1]

based on my digimon master online game, how would be like a 24 year old fem! tamer who found in her doorstep a cardboard box with 4 digieggs (wizardmon, terriermon, (fem!) lopmon (she is terriermon's younger twin sister) and meicoomon) and when they hatch as lil keemon, zerimon, kokomon, and a fluffier looking snow botamon with faint light markings (that sign that she is a meicoomon when she grows and evolve to her actual form);

and the lil keemon is the one who loves y/n a lot compared to the other 3 who like her too; with a timeskip of 2 years later with him now as a wiz giving her a flower before confessing his feelings for her and gladly she accepts his feelings.

(Credit to the artist (Artist is mentioned down there on the right side))

(Sorry but I cant picture myself this scenario, as you would have been like a mother figure to them which is why I will do platonic version but no more or less, sorry since it probably would be heading a entirely diffrent way then you wanted but such scenarios are also platonic in my eyes.)

B/f x reader

Growing closer

_____________________

It was a cold nice day, finally after 8 painfully long hours of working, since you gotta make a living somehow, you took office job and after it was finally over and since it was over, first thing you done was to watch TV, there way to many TV Series that have to be finished by you and to little time to sadly do it. After watching a couple series for some hours, you heard a sound from the door you went there, thinking what or who would do such thing this late at the day.

You have gone to your door and opended it and found.. a cardboard with some eggs in it? You were weirded out having never seen such eggs.. and big at that to, you first thought these were Ostrich eggs.. so you tried to cook them but they were to hard and couldnt break which frustrated you.

Sooo, like any person with the average IQ of -5, you used Google to try and find out what these eggs were or better say from which animal or organism they came. To your suprise, they werent any ordinary eggs.. these eggs were called Digieggs and after some throughout research you found out what will come out of these eggs, some Digimons named Botamon, Kokomon, Zerimon and Keemon, they were fictional characters from your childhood Show 20 years ago, you used to watch it so much but sadly have forgotten most of these times.

So you made sure to take them with you everywhere, as to make sure that when they hatch you can see it in a instant. After some further hours of waiting they hatched ! You saw and felt like a Mum VvV, seeing their kids being born, you were very happy :D

Now the funny part.. you dont know what they eat, nor what they can eat or not, they arent any organic organism but you decided milk and some meat should be ok for now.

You searched up their names and what they could "evolve" into, or as people would say "digievolve" into. Now you got a Keemon, small and friendly but sometimes somehow angry, how? I dont know, a Botamon, a chaotic little energy ball, a Kokomon very cute choco looking like digimon and lastly Zerimon, weird but also cute.

Now there was another small problem, you never had to take care of any kids, much less since you were a only child and pretty much got always what you wanted, you never had to do anything. Now that you were a fully responsible adult and moved away from your parents and took a job to pay rent and your living expsenes, you didnt know if you were able to take care of these little Digimon.

Sooo, you called your bestfriend over, he was at first not believing a single word you have said but the moment he was in with you.. He was fascinated, such cute little creatures? But then he asked for what reason did you actually call him.

"So... hehe, basicly if I would this alone, there be to much for me to work off... and I dont wanna be a single mum, and since we both are already bestfriends why dont you help ne :D Also these little kids need a dad."

"Wait wait wait wait- a dad? But why me!"

You mentaly slapped yourself and just gave him a unfazed stare.

"Who is a man, is my closet friend, can weirdly be a good dad, can help me and is always there for me :D"

He just sighned and.. even though to us its obvious and you being a blind person ( in terms of reading the room), he has feelings for you and taking care of them with you.

"You will be the mother?"

You just nodded VvV. "Then... eh.. should I adress you as honey then, infront of the kids?" At that point you just stared at him. Would that title suit you?... Yes, yes it would.You happily nodded.

"So we be parents then? :D" you asked, he just embarrasedly nodded and you jumped in the air, feeling all happy and friendly, atleast you wont be having to deal all this alone, you have someone by your side during all of this.He just smilled at you, how could you be so blind to his feelings but because of you.. he be doing this, out of love for you.

2 Years Timeskip~

After some years parenting, both you and B/f have come far, your small little kids that you named happily, Botamon, you named him after your Uncle, his name was Kai, and little Botamon gave some Ninjago Kai vibes off, and he always watched that show as he grew up.Kokomon, you named them Choc, because of his chocolate coulered self and his affinity to liking sweets that are always sided with chocolate flavor.Zerimon was named Lemon, he is coloured like a Lemon and loves Citrus fruits, noice which is why the both you of named him Lemon and he is the exact opposites of his sister Zerimon.Keemon was the weirdest of the bunch, he was like a clingy dog which is why ya named him Max, he wouldnt leave neither your or B/f sides, always calling you both Mum and Dad, which at times made you chuckle and B/f a blushing mess, yet as they digivoled all into their respective forms you couldnt help but smile at them and B/f and even thought it might have seemed as if you were oblivious to B/fs feelings, you werent, you also liked him but wanted just to tease him so much it also made you realise how thankful you were that he was by your side, supporting and helping you no matter what or without any complaints, so one day when it was late and the kids were sleeping, you invited him to the livingroom since before you both have sleeped seperately but now you wanted to be more then just friends, you took him to the livingroom and confessed to him.

When he heard those words from you "I like you more then a simple friend".. he cried, he was happy beyond any thing that could be scaled, this one was one of the hapiest day of his life, and yes finally after so long you are finally his. He took you by arms and hugged you, its safe to say that you both went to bed after that confession but didnt did the deed as you both were faithful followers of the lord, you saved yourself for day you both will marry.

But the both of you pray and hope that the lord will bless you both with more such happy moments , the moment that the both of you will spend together, as lovers and one flesh, just as the lord always had planned for the both of you.

_____________________

Thanks for making a request but please, any kind of family bond should also be kept as one, but I hope you all enjoyed this small fic and wish ya all a blessed day/night.

God bless ya all!

;)

#digimon x reader #x reader #digimon #x female reader #x fem!reader #best friends #besties #besties to lovers

[alpinezro]

hi... I HOPE THIS IS ALRIGHT TO ASK but ive admired how you render for a long time and you mentioned a while back in a post that you'd studied light particles n how they work and i have been. deathly curious as to how you went about doing that... drawing from reference and doing studies of course, but was there any particular way you went about it? i hope this finds you well. anyways . sorry ! thank you for your time

no need to apologize, and thank you so much for asking! not sure i can provide the best explanation, but most of what i learned was off of youtube and some blog-ish websites. this probably wont make any sense at all but ill try my best.

The Anatomy of Shadows

a big part of it was learning the anatomy of shadows, specifically the terminator and different varieties. heres a diagram,

terminators are just where the light and shadow meet. you always want to be able to tell where the terminator starts and ends!!! be CONFIDENT and BOLD with them!!!! they communicate so much information about structure

more on the different types of terminators/shadows. the ones i most use are cast and body.

a great example of these is the rembrandt triangle, composed of the shadow cast by the nose (cast shadow) and the shadow of the cheek (body shadow). body shadows are so so aewsome because they represents changes in planes. cast shadows r just kinda there. but i think they get softer the further away from the object they are since the light particles wiggle their way underneath and create reflection/ambient light

Ambient Occlusion and Light

SPEAKING OF WHICH!!! ambient light is basically just, the light particles that are bouncing around in a scene. imagine you're at the beach and its a really cloudy day, the shadows arent gonna be dramatic like they would if you were in a dark room with one light source.

youd think that we're kinda like. enveloped in light by default but no, we're pretty much always in shadow. shadows are the normal part. light is a strange freak that broke into your house and fucked everything up.

more about ambient occlusion. ambient occlusion just occurs when objects get close together and light cant wiggle its way in, as stated earlier. heres a shitty example. AO is key to realism.

this guy explains it better than i ever could

Lighting Focus or Whatever the Fawk its Called I Forgot But There's Definitely a Scientific/Cinematic Term For This

another thing. level of detail in shadows is gonna be way different than in light and vice versa. u know when u spend a bunch of time outside and u go inside and its just solid black for a few seconds? its a similar idea here, ur eyes are so focused on the lit area they dont even give a shit abt the shadows.

because of this, i try to keep shaded areas blurred. a lot of detail is implied, just let the viewers mind fill in the blanks.

last but not least,

Subsurface Scattering (on the skin, at least)

can i be so honest with you for a second??? i dont actually know what this means, like in depth. im sure this has something to do with light penetrating through semi-transparent skincells and illuminating blood,, but i cant be sure. thats just an educated guess. past oakley is always smarter than present oakley for some reason.

i usually combine it with reflected light to create a more cohesive look. burt like... yeah... theres plenty of people who can explain this better than me

ok thast all i hope this helped at least a little!!!!! LOTS of youtube videos. lots of visualizing silly little particles bouncing around. i probably forgot some stuff.

this video is realy good

#art tips