#i feel like a lot of men in the original series had hints of this behavior but not to this extent

[ratherbeinsunnydale]

i just gotta say i really love how they are portraying the very specific type of man that viserys is. which is like, nice enough? and to be clear, i’m not saying he’s nice but that on the surface, he appears to be a very kind and caring man and father but maybe not a great king. but he also does not do anything to buck against the norms of westeros and will do what is most convenient for him because he is afraid and ultimately spineless.

like he loved his wife and cares deeply about her, but also he pressured her through multiple pregnancies and no he did not include her in the choice re:the birth and let her die terrified because he was too spineless to tell her the truth of the situation or include her in the decision he made

and he loved his daughter but not enough to claim her as heir until his brother pissed him off and then to try and do damage control and say he should’ve always seen it and yet after naming her heir he continues to exclude her and belittle her before his council while still eventually cashing in on the fact that he did name her heir (even if he’s not doing any work or putting in any effort to prepare her)

and he’s disturbed at the thought of marrying a 12 year old but also is comfortable regularly meeting with and grooming his 15 year old daughter’s best friend and is unnerved that Laena is being tutored on how to speak to him and persuade him but is willfully ignorant to the possibility that otto holds a similar sway over alicent and also is willfully ignorant to the fact that rhaenyra agreed to the marriage but would genuinely have never felt comfortable with him marrying her best friend

viserys just has this vibe of like “hey he could be worse” and sometimes a vibe that he thinks he’s pretty alright because of that and it can just be very sinister. he’s so spineless.

i don’t know what i’m saying i just feel like it’s a flavor of character thrones hasn’t quite touched on before. and i’m enjoying their take on it and paddy considine is great.

#house of the dragon #i feel like a lot of men in the original series had hints of this behavior but not to this extent #it just feels like a very evolved take to look at viserys and be like hey this guy maybe he won’t marry a 12 year old and he won’t cheat on #his wife but he’s still kind of a piece of shit #although i will also say watching some of the creators and actors talking i’m not even sure they are 100% aware that this archetype is what #they are playing with #kinda like how emily carey said alicent enjoyed the time she had with viserys #but we can also definitely say that she is being pressured to go there and not 100% comfortable #rather rambles

[tojisrealwifey]

ok, first things first: that work of art you call your mind has made me feel things I didn't know I was capable of feeling. saying im invested in the crybaby series is an understatement. im counting the seconds for you to bless my lovesick mind with (hopefully) a cathartic chapter.

next, I wanna know the inspiration behind the series. did you hear a song or maybe watch a scene that spurred on this beautifully painful heartbreak?

lastly, I just wanna say, as a fellow writer, the angst is immaculate. I struggle in that department because I believe angst needs a hint of romance in order for it to work, but you, you, my dearest, you do it flawlessly.

I love you and everything you do. 🫶🏾🫶🏾🫶🏾

FIRST. i love you.

i'm glad to know that my fic has made you feel such things. i was under the belief that that part of my talent had been lost, but i'm glad it's working again hehe.

i hope this story continues to sate your lovesick mind because by some miracle it has managed to do so for me 😘

to answer you question, there were a lot of different inspirations that led to them accumulating into this series.

for instance, there is a song that has a huge hand in this concept, which is glimpse of us.

it was a song that made me cry the moment the music started despite its lack of relatability to me.

there was something so sad about the fact that this person couldn't help but be reminded of his previous lover while he was with his current lover.

and to add to my angsty nightly 3 AM crying sessions, i would put myself in the place of the woman who's being compared to an ex (i'm delusional and i like to cry) because in my mind, being in her position is much more depressing.

when i started this series, it wasn't a series at all at first. it was going to be a one-shot of sorts with multiple characters, like those:

"JJK men when they first find out you're pregnant"

type fics.

the one i had in mind when i began was "things JJK men do that unknowingly hurt you" yeah, something along those lines. i got this idea when i thought of toji staring at another woman at a festival (which is how the story starts) but then i couldn't help but add more as i kept writing.

like adding that the woman looked like his ex-wife, and that he might be attached to her in a way still.

originally it was just like he was watching her cause she was another target for his job blah blah blah.

then my brain happened and wanted to make it sadder.

i'm actually so shocked to know you like the angst cause the ones i used to write before would like not be sad at all. i myself have trouble understanding if what i've written is a tearjerker or not, so i'm happy to know my work is improving, even just by a bit.

this truly made my entire month! muahh i love you so much!!

#toji x reader angst #toji x reader smut #toji x reader #fushiguro toji x reader #jjk toji #toji fushiguro #toji zenin #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji smut #fushiguro toji #toji and megumi #megumi x reader #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut

[esther-dot]

lysa wanted to marry sansa and robert arryn, does that debunk the ashford theory?

I haven't read the Hedge Knight so this isn't my thing, anon, but Martin has talked about how much he knows regarding the as yet to be written story, and it is a lot. Not only do we know of certain mysteries he's unraveling across the series (R+L=J), he's spoken about how he likes to have things readers will catch on rereads, so it makes sense to me that Martin knew Sansa had been betrothed to to Joffrey, would be marrying Tyrion, that he also knew her endgame romance, and that while writing the novella, he created a little nod to it. Aligning it completely doesn't need to be the goal, anymore than we would expect a carbon copy of pre canon events replaying in canon in any other scenario, but we certainly see the echos and references of pre canon in canon, and I have to think that's the case here.

Also, Sansa is about to be present at a tourney in TWOW, she's talking about her favor, there's this whole pre canon thing about a Stark girl and Targ at a tourney, so it doesn't feel weird to think maybe Sansa was on Martin's mind. And of course, in canon, Sansa is the maiden fair which is interesting when the Ashford girl is referred to as fair maid, and this idea of a revolving door of champions is very reminiscent of Sansa's unfortunate experiences thus far, with men who help her, fail her/hurt her, and then on to the next (the Hound, Tyrion, Dontos, LF...).

A potential match with Sweetrobin doesn't feel like an obstacle to everything that does make this feel like a thing, especially when, it is not merely the matching names that connect the two, it's the details that create all sorts of parallels with Jon, making him seem like the canon Targ this will ultimately be about. Let's revisit that revolving door of "champions" for Sansa, who is the guy who killed her monster in canon? 🤔 butterflies-dragons wrote a lengthy meta in 2021 about all of the Jon hints, and I find there's too much pointing to it all as quite intentional, even with a missing Robin.

Since I've been digging around in old posts and saw a bit of the evolution on this theory, I'll just point out, a lot of people were happy to consider this foreshadwoing for Sansa and Aegon, but the "Sansa is going North" fans rejected that, and it's funny that when people started to consider that her likely path, the theory had to be abandoned when, there's a Targ in the North too.

I'll go ahead and link to a several more posts I saw about it, in case anyone is interested. 2017 post (show verse), possible reference to it in GoT, and a 2018 meta that also considers Jon.

These two 2015 gifsets use the Ashford theory for the Sansa x Aegon pairing (1, 2), these two use Jon or Aegon (2016, 2018), and here's a Jonsa one.

There's also a Jonsa fic inspired by the theory, originally posted in 2016.

#jonsa #ashford theory #dot chat

[presidenthades]

I am doing very minor revisions of Daemon’s Handbook (mostly formatting and continuity errors), and I wanted to do some behind-the-scenes commentary before too much time passes and I forget my original thoughts. Here’s Chapter 11!

(Note that these commentaries aren’t canon to the verse until/unless the author writes them into the series. I might change my mind on a few points later, but these are the thoughts I had while writing.)

In my early outline, the big scandal in the last chapter was supposed to be Luce and Aemond getting caught in flagrante by somebody aligned to Otto (the servants’ passages scene in Chapter 9 didn’t happen in this version). I was writing it as a parallel to the Episode 4 brothel scene, so I was going to have it take place in the city somewhere, and there was going to be a lot of drama with Luce and Aemond being forcibly separated while Daemon searches for Luce. But the pacing was off and the necessary sequence of events was too contrived, so we got the version that currently exists in the fic.

I kept wondering if it was plausible Clement Celtigar to be stupid enough to unwittingly act as Otto’s lackey. I decided the answer is yes. I try not to character bash, but the Celtigars make it too easy. 😭 Seriously, read about them on the ASOIAF wiki (and look at Edwell and Bartimos’s pages).

I imagine that Otto pretended to be more familiar with Rhaenyra’s side of the family than he actually is, and he dropped some hints (without outright saying it, because like Daemon thinks in this chapter, young men want to believe they come up with their own ideas) that Luce favors Clement, and that she enjoys visiting the library late at night. Then Otto had the note forged in Aemond’s handwriting and left it for Luce. I’m sure this scheme was a lot smoother and sneakier than my bullet points can convey.

I picked the library as the setting so I could play with the trope in a lot of Aemond/OC fanfics (which I really enjoy! But I also enjoy flipping tropes) where Aemond and his love interest rendezvous in the library.

ASOIAF has names for hours of the day (eg hour of ghosts), but GRRM hasn’t revealed all the names. So I extrapolated names for all 24 hours of the day. “Hour of the cat” in the forged note is 11PM.

I spent a while debating how badly Luce injures Clement. I considered making it a lot more grievous (with a knife involved, as a redux of Driftmark), but that would have drastically darkened the story’s tone and changed the fallout from the event. So Clement gets away with a bit of testicular torsion, which Dr Google tells me *can* be serious if not quickly given medical treatment.

Bartimos comes close to calling Luce a whore. If he said it, Daemon would probably have given him the Episode 8 Vaemond treatment. Again, that would’ve been a very dark tonal shift, so Barty stays quiet.

Clement wants 8 sons and 2 daughters because a crab (his house sigil) has ten legs total, two of them being pincers. But Luce doesn’t care about the symbolism, and she ain’t having that many kids.

Normally Luce would have sneaked off alone to meet Aemond in the library. But she brings Rhaena because the argument with Daemon is still fresh, and she’s smarting from his (reasonably accurate) accusation that she doesn’t think enough with her upper brain. So in a strange way, Daemon’s diatribe benefited Luce because if she’d gone alone, there wouldn’t be any witnesses to defend her.

Daemon’s snooping around the girls’ letters is also proving to be surprisingly helpful several years later! If he hasn’t read Aemond’s letters to Luce, Daemon wouldn’t notice the handwriting discrepancy.

Daemon spends the entire fic paranoid about Hightower schemes, and he’s FINALLY right! He finally gets validation! 😂 But he also has zero evidence, literally just gut feelings and vibes.

Baela has been having a great time with Cregan Stark (who canonically has a thing for bisexual tomboys). The Northerners are staying around longer than most wedding guests because the distance is so far, so Baela has plenty of time to keep seducing him. By the time Cregan leaves, I imagine he’s going to make an offer to Baela, but she’s going to put him off for a while longer; she’ll *probably* accept him eventually, but she’s not sure Moondancer will like the cold.

After Daemon confronts Aemond, Aemond goes to the Tower of the Hand to confront Otto. I’m not sure what exactly they say to each other, but afterwards, Aemond tears his room apart looking for the present he planned to give Luce three years ago. I don’t know where he eventually finds it, but it’s probably a laughably obvious spot he totally overlooks at first.

Jace has already been setting up a gossip/whisper network in the Red Keep, so she’s able to hear first thing the next morning about the library incident.

I like Paddy Considine’s take that Viserys *does* have the “blood of the dragon,” he just forces himself to control his temper because he’s trying to be a good king. Also, when he’s a walking corpse in Episode 8, he has the wherewithal to draw his dagger and threaten to cut out Vaemond’s tongue. Viserys would 100% call for Clement to be gelded and gossipers to be silenced. So, for once, Viserys strongly approves of Daemon’s violent streak. 😇

I spent a while debating Clement’s punishment. He kissed Luce when she didn’t want it, which, for most girls, would unfortunately be swept under the rug since he’s the heir to a notable house. But things are different with the royal family. Luce doesn’t want an unnecessarily cruel punishment; she was friendly with Clement until recently, and in Chapter 7, she’s restraining Aemond from violence against Ulf. Even though she’s quick to defend herself by any means necessary, she’s by no means a sadist. She was also deeply affected when Aemond lost his eye (which she partially blames herself for), which leads to her resisting punishments that involve maiming.

Jace also advocates for less violence, but not because she’s a softie. She prefers the diplomatic route, which is harder if you’re trigger-happy to forcibly amputate your vassals. But she knows a monarch has to make hard decisions sometimes, and she’s willing to do what it takes. For example, if Clement had done worse than kiss Luce, Jace *would* want him to be gelded, and she’d have no qualms about it.

Helaena did not have a vision or prophecy about Aemond and the book. She just saw him panicking in his room and figured out what he was up to, because she’s his sister and she knows him. 😂 And because she knows him (and Luce) so well, she can deduce they’re probably going to patch things up, so she packs his bags for him.

No God’s Eye duel in this verse, but I couldn’t resist slipping in a reference about Luce jumping into Vhagar’s saddle 😭

ASOIAF book readers can probably deduce what Joff’s candle is. And that’s all I’m gonna say about it until we get Joff’s POV. 👀

Joff kisses Daeron’s cheek purely to distract Daemon from asking more questions about the candle. Daeron is now very confused. I like to imagine he runs off to Jace and Aegon’s room screaming “Aegon, Joff kissed me, what do I do????” But Jace and Aegon are newlyweds so Aegon isn’t going to appreciate Daeron’s interruption 😂😂😂

That’s it for the Handbook commentaries! Fingers crossed that I have an update this weekend about my next fic in this AU-verse. 🤞

#my writing #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #meta #hotd fic #house of the dragon fanfic #daemon’s handbook

[thenightling]

Alex and Paul (the first gay couple of The Sandman)

Some Sandman fans may have missed that Alexander Burgess and Paul McGuire were couple in the original Sandman comics.  

  Don't feel stupid if you missed it. It was deliberately subtle at first.   

Remember, the first issue of The Sandman was published by DC comics in 1988.  Neil Gaiman had to be discrete. He had a lot more freedom later on and that's why in The Sandman: The Wake you got to see Paul out right call Alex the "love of his life." I didn’t even notice it at first when I read it in 2017 but then I heard a fan reading that made it much more obvious.

 Now here are the subtle hints at Alex and Paul's relationship from the first issue of The Sandman. (Note: It's also more obvious in the first chapter of The Sandman audio drama and the first episode of The Sandman Netflix series).

1.  First, we don’t even see Paul until Roderick Burgess is deceased. This is because Alex would not have dared to have an open gay relationship when his father was alive. Also keep in mind this was the late 1940s when their relationship would have started. Homosexuality was still very much illegal in the UK. A common trope was to pass off your lover as a live-in employee.  For women it was sometimes a housekeeper or maid. For a man it was a groundskeeper or handyman.  This was Jerry Dandridge's explanation for Billy Cole in the 1985 film Fright Night. Paul’s official title is the gardener but that seems to just be an excuse as to why he’s allowed to live in the property. 2.   The use of language.  Here you can see Paul calling Alex “Darling.”  It’s not just an “English thing.”  Most English men in the 1940s and 1950s would NOT have called another man darling.  A woman to another woman, yes.  A woman to a man, yes.  A man to a woman, yes.  But a man calling another man “darling” is like shouting “Hello, we’re gay!”

3.  The next clue is in that same scene.  

This is a visual clue.  You have a blond man in a turtleneck smoking a cigarette (a visual stereotype idea of a gay man) and the painting of Roderick Burgess glaring down disapprovingly.     4.  Notice Alex’s wording.  “We’re safer just leaving him down there.”  Why “we”?  That indicates that they are in on it together.   Alex had no real reason to tell a mere gardener about his supernatural captive.  The implication is clear, they are “partners” and Paul is living there with him.  And again, Alex’s father is glaring down disapprovingly. 5.  Paul asks Alex if he fancies a game of tennis. You don’t usually get asked by your gardener if you want to play a game. This is no mere employee and employer relationship.  

6.    Now it’s been over twenty years and Paul is still with him.  Paul’s status has changed from gardener to personal assistant.   Alex hands his occult organization over to Paul even though Paul (weirdly) doesn’t believe in magick. They have an immortal being that doesn’t eat or drink locked in the cellar, with solid black eyes, and cannot escape a crystal cage inside a binding circle but he doesn’t believe in magick...  

7.  You don’t usually live with your gardener turned personal assistant who is also your driver.  Also I’ve been told that this is a come hither look Paul is giving him right here.

8.   In 1988 Paul is still with him, pushing Alex’s wheelchair.  And Paul calls Alex “love.”  Darling and love are not terms men usually use toward other men except if they are not straight.

9.   He trusted Paul with the key to Morpheus’s cage.  I doubt he would do that with just anyone.  

10.   Later the relationship is made much more blatant in The Sandman: The Kindly Ones when Paul refers to Alex as the love of his life.

11.  Paul is now a lawyer. The implication is clear.  Alex shared everything with him.  His fortune, his estate, everything.   He financially supported Paul and paid for his law education. Alex was Paul���s Sugar Daddy.  He’s older than Paul by roughly twenty years.    

12.   It’s hard to see but on the nightstand next to Alex’s bed is a copy of Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, which Neil Gaiman admits is a love story between two male presenting entities.  

13.  There’s a cruel moment in The Sandman: The Wake where it looks like Paul might have died but he hadn’t.   He and Alex finally get a happy ending.  

#The Sandman #Sandman #Alexander Burgess #Paul McGuire #Neil Gaiman

[bookofmirth]

Was sjm planning on making Mor and Azriel endgame or did she just want it to be Azriel has feelings for Mor and it’s one sided? Do you think I’m ACOMAF Mor had romantic feelings for Az, but it was complex/complicated? I’ve seen people say they were supposed to be mates/endgame, but I feel like maybe they weren’t going to get together and it was going to be revealed why, but I think sjm decided to do that by making Mor queer which isn’t okay. I think if she didn’t want to make Mor + Az endgame, then she could’ve either dropped hints in ACOMAF that she was queer or it could’ve been that she didn’t see him in that way. I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense!

We don't know for sure, without a doubt what sjm planned for Az and Mor. She's never talked about it at an event that I know of. She's hardly talked about Mor, for that matter, other than saying she's excited to write her story. The best that we can do is theorize and guess what sjm's intentions were until she actually comes out and says what her thought process was.

I was talking with the groupchat about this a LOT today, and IMO sjm was flirting with the idea of them, decided against it, but then didn't decide until acowar why it wasn't going to work out. Perhaps they would have been like chaolaena, or feylin. There was something there, but not in the endgame way and perhaps she didn't come to that conclusion until later on, when she was drafting acowar? Maybe.

I agree with you completely that it's not really okay for her to have made Mor queer as a way to explain why they hadn't been together/wouldn't be together. Queerness isn't a plot device in the way that it seems she has been writing it. Case in point - Mor continues to only matter when she's causing other people romantic strife, which is fucking ridiculous. I judge sjm hard for this. Mor didn't need to come out in acomaf for it to be clear where sjm was heading with the two of them. It's a pattern with her writing, though - Oh look, Mor is queer! Oh look, Helion is Lucien's father and everyone is supposedly too dumb to have noticed! Oh hey, Amren remembered this random thing called the Dread Trove!

I do lean towards them being the original plan because 1) moriel had better, more iconic quotes in acomaf than other ships we are currently debating, 2) like you said, if Mor was always supposed to be queer, then it shouldn't have felt like it came out of nowhere in acowar, 3) it shouldn't require character assassination to show why two characters won't be together, and 4) she had super romantic images on her pinterest that she titled "Mor and Azriel".

SJM is a pantser, and I think this is a glaring example. Her intentions are suspect at best because her intentions do, can, and will change. Trying to understand her intentions as a writer can honestly feel like trying to herd cats. I also think that she starts things off based on aesthetic choices (e.g. Az pining over a woman for 500 years can seem really romantic), and then when she realizes she has to make it work in practice, she fudges things to get the characters where she wants them to go (e.g. wait, now let's make her a queer woman, ummmm but what do we do with the mess we've made of Az's character? Let's make him lean into it with Elain!)

I seriously, seriously doubt that sjm put the thought into making Mor homoromantic/bisexual as an organic, natural choice. I think that instead, she was just trying to cover her basis and explain Mor's actions (IE sleeping with men) and OF COURSE the only reason someone wouldn't want to be with Az is if they are GAY!!!!!

I have a lot of thoughts on this subject but ultimately, it's in my top three wishlist of the series: to know wtf she was thinking with these two characters.

#moriel #acotar #ask #anon #sjm critical

[seeds-and-sins]

Cursed Dangers

Pairing: Henry Drax x Original Female Character

Rating: Mature/Explicit (SMUT!! RAPE!! LOTS OF CUSS WORDS! UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ALL THE WAY!).

Description: Following the devastating events that took place in the North, leading to the sinking of the Volunteer and the deaths of many. We follow the life of Mister Baxter's one and only child, Maeve Amelia Baxter. Secure and sheltered under her father's watchful eye for far too long, as news of the tragedy passes through the Baxter estate, she starts to realize that not everything is exactly as it seems.

Author's Note: I do believe this to be the most questionable and morally corrupt fic I have ever written. I would caution that the passing reader exercise a bit of discretion when reading because even I found this to be a little rough. I just thought it would hold true to the character, because he is a very bad individual. I enjoyed writing him, but still, this got a little out of hand in my opinion. I do plan on turning this into a series.

Maeve was now certain that someone was living in the attic; Footsteps in the middle of the night, pattering at the ceiling above her bed, distant conversations that felt all too close and voices all too familiar. Her father went up there an awful lot lately too, and he was never a very good liar. When she asked him about it, showing even a morsel of concern that he might not know the answer either, he was a bit suspicious.

I haven't the slightest idea what you are referring too, love. There isn't anything up there, you've seen so before.

Oh yes, something was definitely off. However, there was always something off with her father's dealings. Starting with the many shipwrecks that occurred under his management, the more recent one being that of the Volunteer. And then, of course, the men he kept company with weren't cheerful or pleasant in the slightest. She did feel a sort of pang in her chest when she heard that Captain Brownlee had gone down with his ship in the wreck, he was perhaps one of the few men in her father's business that she considered a good and respectable man. Then there were the others, the one's like Henry Drax, that made her equally as hot as they did cold. The one's that fueled her curiosity, no matter how much she wished they didn't, and she just couldn't stay away.

She had a bit of Irish in her blood, her father said so, from her mother's side. If the telltale red streaks that layered the bits of a stark blonde didn't already give that away. And her rosy cheeks. And her porcelain skin. And the reason why dangerous things always seemed to excite her.

About two years back, after her mother passed away, she had managed to convince her father to let her go on a voyage with one of his whaling ships. Her father insisted that she could only go if he went with her and so he did, albeit begrudgingly. It was the Volunteer, and Brownlee was a wonderful host to say the least. Her only complaint was that it was just so cold, frigid even, so cold she thought her toes would fall off. That was when she met Henry Drax, a modern marvel among men, brooding and determined and with a hint of mystery to him. But stories had circulated from the other crew members to her that Drax wasn't all that much a marvel at all. From one fellow she heard that the man had partaken in cannibalism, from another she heard that he was chronically infected with a deadly venereal disease, but then she heard from none other than the troublemaker himself-Cavendish-who told her that Drax was the best lad, a perfect lad, the hardest working lad, the most honorable lad. Cavendish was a hoot.

She pushed all the tales aside and sought to make her own assumptions about the man, dangerously so. Her father seemed fond of him, but then again, her father's judgement was largely skewed toward greed and profit. Drax was the best sealer, the best whaler-no doubt-and Maeve witnessed it first hand. Before having spoken to him at all, Drax looked at her from afar often and his eyes were deep and dark and penetrating and for some reason she always knew when he was watching. The first time she spoke to him, it was to ask a simple question, and he answered her and called her little bird and it made her stomach twist in a delightful way. There was that one time, in the deck below, the crew was drinking and cheering and singing sea shanties left and right, and the boat was swaying so hard that Maeve was struggling to catch her footing. She would have fallen if Drax hadn't caught her shy a full inch off the ground, allowing the boat's harsh tip to pull her back upright. She gawked at him in surprise and then they both laughed and for the remainder of the festivities, he didn't let go of her once. And then there was that one time-oh gosh, that time-when Cavendish had said something degrading to her, meaning no harm by it in his mind, but it was a disgusting comment no less. At first Drax laughed with him, but it was fake and lacking all of it's usual jolly mirth, then the next thing you remember was Cavendish flush to the ground, cheek buried into the wooden plank of the deck. Henry rung his hand out and the spot between her legs exploded with need and desire and she thought her cheeks couldn't get anymore red. And Henry smiled at her before helping Cavendish to his feet, and luckily Cavendish still had the same heart eyes for his fellow mate because Maeve wasn't sure how she'd feel if she had witnessed a full on fight involving Henry Drax.

She thought about him a lot, truly, she couldn't help herself. She thought about that time he removed his coat from his very own shoulders to place it over hers: the coat gobbled her up, inches laying flat to the deck from excess, and warm and big like Drax himself. She thought about when she felt the smooth and slippery back of the first whale she had ever seen, right before he stabbed his massive harpoon through it's heart. She thought about the looks he would give her, when he thought she wasn't looking and when she did look, and he never looked away. She most especially thought about the last night she spent with him, before they made it to port. The waters were still and the air was chilly and it would have been her final night on the Volunteer. She'd probably never see any of these men again, these sailors that she had grown fond of and that doted on her as if she was the queen herself. She made sure to kiss every one of them on the cheek before they went to bed. Cavendish tried to sneak a kiss on her lips and when she kneed him between the legs, the whole crew bellowed laughter. And Drax-well-Drax's goodnight kiss was special to her for some reason. He cupped the back of her head as she kissed his cheek and she wondered if he would ever let go. When she withdrew, his eyes were like crescent pools of endless black and his lifted eyebrows softened his entire expression. She grabbed him by his suspenders when no one was looking and whispered in his ear to meet her on the deck in ten minutes. She harbored no regrets that night when she gave herself to him, even as he took her like the starved man that he was and left her with marks covering every inch of her body that would remain unseen to her father's prying gaze that next morning. He watched her leave with Mister Baxter that next day, following her with beady eyes the whole way and unable to pull his gaze even once. She smiled back at him then, where he had that same look of need in his eyes and she wished she didn't have to leave.

Oh, how she ached to be with a man like Henry Drax, but ever so the hypocrite, her father would never allow it. He married an Irish woman and worked his way up the hierarchical ladder into riches and he still would never accept Drax as a potential suitor for Maeve. Never. He would seek no same fate for his only daughter. He had not worked so hard, only for her to fall back into the same societal pigsty that he had crawled out of in his youth.

In fact, since her mother passed, her father kept Maeve on a tight leash. He didn't want to even fathom the idea of passing her off down the aisle. She was pleased for it, reckoning that she wouldn't have to worry about ever marrying and carrying children and being that quiet and obedient dame that men of her particular class so desired.

No. She had already given her heart away, never to be seen again.

Her father told her that Henry Drax was no more. He died in the wreckage also; Cavendish too, and Otto, and McKendrick, and even that young cabin boy who never had the gull to talk to her because he was always a bumbling mess when he tried. She cried into her pillow for them, but she cried especially for Drax.

Then, she found the letter, from a surgeon, one from the Volunteer. She was snooping in her father's office, contemplating braving the attic to see what was up there, when she spotted it on her father's desk. She couldn't believe what she was reading and her heart broke with each horrifying new plot; the cabin boy was sodomized and killed, the sodomizer and killer was Henry Drax, Brownlee was attacked by Drax and he did not survive, Cavendish sailed the ship further north, the ship wrecked in the ice, the men of the Hastings were all sunk in a storm, the men that survived were waiting for their deaths' in a small tent in the middle of nowhere, inuits arrived, helped them-maybe something to hope for-but no, Henry Drax killed them too, and then he killed Cavendish, and then he fled, leaving his fellow crew members behind to die in a barren icy wasteland... the surgeon was the only survivor.

Her heart broke, it split apart as literally as it could without knocking her down, she was a dead woman walking. Her eyes flitted to the attic door and as crazy an idea as it was to fathom: Could her father be harboring a fugitive? A monster? A Murderer to the highest degree? She felt tears trickle down her cheeks because the Drax she just read about simply couldn't be the one she held so dearly. He was rough-yes-rugged-yes-and he had no qualms about his desires and no filter for those desires, but he was also so tender with her in passing, so gentle, and a man who truly did treat her good. She was now starting to see that all he was, was that of a lie. That perhaps her trust had been manipulated and betrayed and meaningless to the likes of a man like him.

She threw the letter down on the desk, bunched up the skirts of her pale blue dress and stormed toward the attic door. If she didn't do it then and there, it would have followed her for the remainder of the day and even some more. Maeve was angry, boiling with rage, and she was sad and she wanted to cry, and she was just a mess. And if her suspicions were true, then he would be there for her to take it out on. He would finally be there when she needed him and no longer be the same honorable man she once thought him to be.

She rose up the concrete stairs, the creaking of a cot up ahead made her pause, before she continued barreling up the rest of the way. She dropped her skirts when she rounded the railing of the staircase, a concrete column pulling her to it's side as her suspicions were proven.

"Urgh, go away n' ask Stevenson to help ya'." His words were slurred, back turned to her, an empty bottle of rum rolling on it's side beside the cot. Maeve felt an uncomfortable dread fill her to the core, she leant against the column, tilting her head to the side to consider the remainder of the attic. It was still empty as ever, with a scarce amount of light filtering in from the creaked open shutters in the window. "Did'ya hear me ya'-" Drax twisted his body to face her, he squinted in her direction, and then frantically fumbled to his feet.

Maeve frowned at him, boring holes into his empty vessel-soulless vessel-with her brilliant blue eyes, as she scoured her mind for words that would not come. He weaved his fingers through his greasy black hair, slicking the matted strands back and forcing them sleek.

"Little bird." He greeted in a gravely voice, sobered up some from the surprise of it all. He smirked at her with his rotten teeth, and she dropped the side of her forehead to the wall as she continued to stare at him. "Well?" He held his arms open, beckoning her to him. She mustered the courage to shake her head, watching his entire resolve slowly falter with the lowering of his arms and his once brilliant grin.

"W-W-" She gulped, lifting her chin. "Why did you do it?" He gritted his teeth, hands falling to his hips.

"Do what?"

"You killed all those people..." She was surprised he even heard her, as she was speaking so softly, so quietly. And he did step forward and she stepped back and his stern jaw went taut. "You raped a boy!" She spoke a little louder, voice wavering. Her hands crowned at her stomach, to hopefully ease the pain there.

"I do as I please, when I please." He shrugged, careless of the nature of his actions and the pain they brought her.

"I should-I should go tell the authorities." She placed a hand on the railing, her heart beating faster and faster as a deafening silence thickened around them. He tugged the hem of his pants higher up his hips.

"I s'pose I'll have to strangle ya' then. You think ye' can outrun me?"

"You'd hurt me too?"

"Well, if you plan on tellin' others 'bout me whereabouts, then yes." Her nostrils flared and she held her breath, one passing moment where she made her decision, or at least was considering it.

"You're a monster."

"So 've been told."

"Have you no conscience? No guilt for the horrid crimes you've committed?"

"Would ya' think 'dem so horrid if there weren't rules in place to say so?" Her chest rose and fell with a deep breath.

"Yes, I would. Because I don't believe in hurting other people."

"Well, it's the only thing I know."

"I don't believe that."

"That why you're still standing there?" Drax was an exceptionally good hunter and when his prey was about to dart, he knew exactly when and how. She rushed down the staircase, barely stood a chance as he drunkenly managed after her and caught her just before she erupted in a scream. His dirty palm swallowed her lips and his other arm wrapped around her waist. With his hot and steamy breath at her throat, the scent of rum burnt her nostrils and she hissed against his skin.

"Shhh..." She struggled, his lips pressing to the nape of her neck and he groaned into the flesh there. "Shhh, little bird, shhh!" He grew more and more forceful as she continued to fight him, pulling her backside flush to his front. "If yur' father finds out that you know 'bout lil'ol me it won't end well for you n'him. D'ya understand?" She whimpered and then deflated, growing slack in his embrace. "Good girl, good." He chirped, obnoxiously slapping her lips with the firm hand there.

"Miss Baxter!" It was Winona, the maid. "Are you alright?!" That hand over Maeve's lips encompassed her whole jaw and then her head was being jerked past her shoulder to face Drax. He warned her with a threatening glare, then nodded in the direction of the attic door.

"Y-Yes!" Maeve shouted back instantly, "I'm fine! Please! Don't fuss!" He huffed against her lips and she trembled, then he shoved her so hard she was stumbling back against the concrete wall. He doubled toward the attic door and carefully closed it shut, turning the bronze lock in at the top. Maeve's eyes went wide and she flattened herself as far as she could against the wall.

"Fuck..." He breathed, somehow more breathless than he was having moved so fast to catch her. He twisted to face her, eyes crested and she knew that look better than anything. It haunted her for days after they said their last goodbyes and haunted her more so as she thought him dead and now it haunted her because she loved that look. She hated herself for loving that look now. The look of desperation, of need, of pure unadulterated want, in it's most primal form. "Been waitin' so long for you to come and pay a visit, little bird." She flinched with each step he took, closer and closer till his arms were on either side of her, effectively caging her in.

"Ah yes, I be wishin' fur ya' all day and all night to come see me as we're here and now." His other hand cupped her cheek, the tips of his fingers weaving through her loose hair and he chuckled. "So fuckin' gorgeous. Softest and sweetest lay I eva' had."

"That's all I was then?" She squeezed her eyes shut to hold back tears. This was overwhelming and terrifying and heartbreaking and she had never felt so many things all at once. "Just a lay?"

"Ahhh, no, no, don't think that." His tone was sickly sweet and she opened her eyes to watch him take joy in curling his fingers in her hair, he yanked her head back. "You're worth a wankin' to." She found herself scowling, rolling her tongue against her cheek before spitting directly in his face. His expression clenched as he turned his head away, before he laughed, ducking his head off his shoulder to wipe away her spit. He surprised Maeve, fingers curling hard around her throat and slamming her head against the wall. Her eyes rolled in her head and she went dizzy.

"Now, now, sweetie, I like it a whole lot betta' when you don't pretend ya' hate me, ain't that so." Her brain was scrambled, the back of her head throbbing and she worried she might faint. But somehow, she responded.

"I do." She choked out, his fingers clenched harder and he growled.

"Oi, yeah?" He urged, "Let's see shall we?" Tears ran down her cheeks, his grip loosening the slightest bit as he hunched down. His other hand lifted up the frilly edge of her thick skirts. "Let's see." His movements became furious, hand fighting through layers of her heavy skirts till he found what he was looking for. He found her bloomers, palm immediately cupping her womanhood and his torso pressed against her, dwarfing her completely and smothering her with his broad chest. Her head snapped back and she gasped, the heat undeniable at her core, bloomers wet at the apex of her thighs, and body betraying the vicious rage that swelled in her. "Fuckin' 'ell..." His voice was hoarse and thick in her ear. Before ever knowing about the crimes his very hands committed, she would have done anything to hear that voice every night against her sweaty skin. Now it only filled her with disgust and she wanted to cry, but the duality of her soul was that she was stubborn and didn't want to do anything that would appease him. If she cried he might like it and if she didn't he might like that too, and the conflict was ever so apparent when she bit her bottom lip and held back a whimper because he surely liked that. His fingers began to rub and mold her soft folds through layers of fabric and he cackled. "You should feel yo'self, little bird-Shit-" He licked the side of her cheek and she winced as his sand papery tongue left it's slime on her skin. "Yo'want me so bad. You've wanted me for such a long time haven'ya, poor lass. I shan't be the only one thinking of our night out on that deck, me' cock buried in your tight virgin cunt, pullin' sweet sounds from these pretty lips." And as if a wick lit off of a burning match, fast and brilliant, her entire body imploded on itself and she couldn't control the way she wracked up against the hand at her throat and pleasure burst behind her eyes. An uncontrollable moan escaped her lips, wanton and dry from the pit of her throat. "That's me' girl! Me' good lass! Right 'der, that's da' spot!" He removed his hand from her skirts and they fell at her feet, her legs shook like a quake and her hands grasped his muscly shoulders for stability. She hardly had any time to collect herself before his dampened fingers were breaching her lips, her taste thick on them with his own dirt ridden-natural flavor. She gagged as he shoved them in entirely, then with uncharacteristically sweet kisses along her cheek, his fingers were replaced by his lips.

She retaliated as best she could, as his tongue wrestled her own and the taste of him and her flooded together into a cocktail that nearly sent her over the edge again. He groaned, lips parting slightly to exhale a desperate wheeze, hands now resting at her waist and squeezing tight there to keep her in place. He was a heavy breather, through his nostrils, chest heaving, and there was a time she found that so undeniably pleasing, because it added to this edge and more proof that Drax had no inhibitions when it came to his habits. But now she hated it, she hated how loud he was-

He withdrew in a loud wince, teeth clenched, he hissed, head craning back from Maeve as if burned by fire. His fingers lifted to his full lips, the bottom one split and bleeding cheery fresh liquid. His forefinger and middle brushed against the crimson, his lip twitched in a sneer before he laughed, looking between Maeve and the blood that pooled on his appendage. She was glaring at him with all the ferocity she could bring, despite her appearance betraying her completely. She looked as disheveled as one could possibly be in this scenario. Her chest was flush, cheeks were flush, droplets of sweat dribbling off her brow, and her lips were plump and red as he too had awarded her with his gnawing sharp teeth.

"That how you want it'den, hmm?" The way he gently grappled onto her jaw this time made her uneasy, guiding her chin and lips where he wanted them. He invaded her space once more, until his lips were but a centimeter away, as if his eyes were tied to her violently blue ones by a string.

"I don't want any of it." She whispered, he licked his lips, the blood smearing from the action and as he removed his hand he gave her cheek a light slap.

She had nowhere near enough strength to fight him, his arms lifting her onto his shoulder.

"Please Drax! No! Not like this!" She cried out, weakly beating her fists at his back.

"Shut up, ya'hear? Don't want yur' father finding ya' with a cock down yur' throat, yeah?" He tossed her haphazardly onto the bed, catching his breath and then pacing back and forth as he admired her from afar. He shook his head, swiping a hand over his face. "Fuck' you're perfect, ya' get that', huh?" He chuckled to himself, pacing like that tiger Maeve saw at the zoo, back and forth, ready for a feast. "Yur' so fuckin' lucky men don't line up to taste this cunt. They'd bend ya' over and fill ya' good. Yur' pa' would charge ten shillings for ya', one go each." He stopped and snatched her ankles to yank her close to the edge of the bed and she whined in protest. Her palms rested against his chest, one on each pectoral and her brain was foggy with lust, but the rational side of her was yelling inside: keep fighting.

"You've done the most immoral and cruel acts. Please, understand. Please let me go." There was no reasoning with him, not with the force he used against her own outstretched limbs, till her elbows were bent and he was practically laying on top of her, faces leveled. She could feel his arousal then, the bulge jutting against her skirts, large and thick enough to feel it through many layers.

"No, I wouldn't allow it ya'see. You's belong to me, you's always have." He stood fully, hands then running down her legs and bunching her skirts back. Fingers caressed in reverse, leaving goosebumps behind. He delicately removed her matching slippers, letting them plop to the floor. Her toes curling next to his furry cheeks, his palms engulfing them, thumbs curving into the soles of them and massaging tenderly. "Yur' such a naive lil'thing. Thought that night I was' gon'have to take you in yur' cabin, but there ya'went invitin' me to the deck." Her bottom lip wobbled and she hid her embarrassed and hurt expression in her hands. "Such a good girl, aren't ya'? Neva' could'ave dreamed havin' ya'like this, me' darlin' girl." Her lips parted as she felt his scruffy lips press to her ankle. "So soft, like a seal pup, mi'n ta' defile and tek' as I please." He dragged her down closer if that was even possible, guiding her legs around his waist. He went silent as his hands ghosted along her body, caressing every curve and hungrily taking in all of her covered self. "Da' one thing I regret from that night is not gettin' to see all tha' was underneath, huh? De's damned clothes in me'way." She couldn't look, not when she felt something sharp and hard running down from the top of her bosom to the bottom of her corset. "I won't make da' same mistake dis' time." Her eyes bulged from her head, elbows propping her up when he sliced a blade down through layers and layers of her dress, the stitching parted to reveal silk nude skin beneath. With the knife clutched in one hand, he ripped at the fabrics until they were no more. It reminded her of the first time she watched him hack through seal skin in the distance and she almost vomited. "Fuck, look atya'!" He exclaimed, strands of hair coming undone from their sleekness, falling out before his eyes. Maeve crawled away, but he grabbed her ankle with his freehand and pulled her back with a click of his tongue. "Such a fuckin' cock tease." The blade was cold when it touched her skin and her back arched as a thin red cut was made just below her breast. Her nipples perked up, asking for attention where her inner self was in turmoil and begging to be swallowed up by the pits of hell. Anything was better than this, no matter how good it felt, no matter how amazing his calloused hands were, she cried to be given reprieve, to wake from this seemingly endless nightmare.

"Fuck you!" She yelled, in one last attempt at gaining some semblance of control, but her fighting came to an abrupt halt when the blade of the knife was dangerously close to her throat.

"I'll slice yur' throat and fuckya' till you go cold."

"P-Please. Don't." She mumbled, the tendons in her neck visible and tight with tension, collarbone defined, rising and falling with her breasts.

"The only thing I want leavin' yur' lips is me' name. Understood?" She slowly nodded, he tossed the knife to the side on the bed without a second to spare. She didn't care where it landed, too caught up with him hurriedly unbuckling his belt and discarding his white baggy shirt and getting as naked as he possibly could. He easily adjusted Maeve on the bed when he was good and ready. Fully understanding her predicament she sobbed silently to herself and allowed him to move her as he wished.

"Ya'know, I usually don't fuck me' whores from the front..." The both of them released a noise when his hairy thighs met with the back of hers. "But I make the exception for me' sweet lil'bird..." He hovered dominantly above her, one hand lining his solid dick with her folds. Her fingers curled into the bunched up sheets and ripped shreds of her dress, bracing for the unpleasant pressure. "I like to watch the fight leave yur' eyes, lass, because ya' belong to me and you's give yurself to me so willingly that it makes me' cock twitch and me' heart flutter, yeah?" She squeezed her eyes shut, his cock head pushing in inch by inch. Her hands had a mind of their own, grabbing anything and everything and soon landing on his hairy chest. His breath fanned out across her face as he exhaled heavily. "Fuck yur' so tight, lil'birdy-and wet-'so fuckin' wet..." His words trailed off into gibberish and then his pelvis was flush with hers and she yanked at his chest hairs. Unable to form a coherent thought, she began muttering prayers under her breath, thighs locking around his hips.

"Please, please, please, please, please."

"Yeah, that's it." He moved his hips and she was a goner. The mix between pressure and that all too enjoyable drag of spongey skin on skin and the fact that she could feel everything. She whimpered, head hitting hard back against the cot and there was a soreness that lingered from Drax's earlier stint with her and the wall. The tears running down her cheeks held no specific reason anymore, if it wasn't sadness, or frustration, or rage, it was insurmountable pleasure that made her toes curl and her body ache. "Open yur' eyes." She wasn't sure she heard him correctly and her mind was so muddied that it took her moments to realize he was speaking to her. "Ya'fuckin' bitch. Open." It wasn't said in anger, grunted out perhaps, his thumb then shoving back her eyelid and she got the idea then. She stared at Henry Drax like he was the sun, the first streams of light filtering in through the blinds in the morning. Her eyelids were droopy, sight blurred by lust and need and desire, body completely devoid of any fighting now. "Ye' become so cock dumb, fuck." That same thumb was shoved unceremoniously into her mouth and she sucked on it as she met his gaze. His hips were like a piston, cock splitting her tiny figure in half. "Good god!" He growled like a bear, then hunched closer, moving his hips harder and faster, panting and grunting with each thrust. Her hands held onto his strong biceps for dear life as her body gave way to him. He leant down and kissed her lips, returning her earlier favor and sinking his teeth into her bottom lip till blood burst on his tongue. She didn't think-she couldn't. His hand slithered between their bodies to find her special spot and her vision ebbed away as another earth shattering orgasm overcame her.

He growled rather loudly as his seed released into her, her cunt gripping his cock like a vice and he stopped his thrusting altogether to sit there in the warmth. Sweat coated their bodies, one hand propped beside her head and the other swishing her juices around her oversensitive clit. He grabbed her thighs then, massaging them and sitting back on his haunches with an exaggerated sigh. She rose to her senses fast as the high dissipated, lips parted slightly as she eyed him from below and tried to steady her heartbeat.

She sniffled, hands poised still on his arms, now having slid down to his wrists. His eyes traced her entire torso, then when he met her own, he moved down till his lips were grazing her collarbone. His tongue licked a path down, lips slurping a nipple in between his teeth. She cried again, fingers sifting through his hair and tugging. He tasted the smeared blood near her cut, practically drinking the liquid as if it were wine from the finest vineyard. He worked his way back up her body, cock still hard inside her, he kissed her chin and then her cheek and then her lips and she shuttered. Red marks, blood splotches followed everywhere, his puffy lips akin to bristly paintbrushes grazing along a blank canvas. She held him to her, no longer pushing him away, his lips touched down on her neck and she released one final gasp before he settled there. His beer belly rested against her own stomach, hairs tickling her, but she was too tired to fight anymore. He suffocated her with his heat and his weight, but she couldn't bring herself to do a thing because his lips felt so perfect against her and he felt so right above her. She allowed another sob, arms raveling around his neck and fingers digging into his scalp.

"I hate you." She whispered, he lifted his head to stare at her and hummed.

"To the contrary, ye' love me." She was disgusted with herself, and with him. His serious and stern brow flicked up at her in question. "In fact, ye' dream of bein' called Misses Drax, spendin' the remainder of yur' days wit' me' cock buried in ya' and me' seed growin' in yur'belly."

"You're the fucking devil, you'll never have me like that." He snorted, cupping her cheek and caressing the red skin there. He didn't believe her.

"And you are nothin' but a whore fer me' pleasure, while I am under yur' papa's roof. That's all." She closed her eyes, swallowing thickly. He felt a sharpness at his throat and when he awkwardly tilted his head down, he caught the glint of his knife. He shot up to his knees, smirking as he held his hands up in defense. His cock twitched inside her and she grimaced at the feeling. The point of the blade rested at his gut then and she oh so wanted to stab him for the devil that he was. "Go on, lass. You's was the one who's said you wasn't too fond of hurtin' others. Now yur' goin' to hurt me?" He licked his lips, tongue dragging across the curly hairs that poked out around his mouth. She shook violently, her hand vibrating as she held the knife to him. He wrapped his own hand around her wrist, steadying it for her. "If there's anyone I would let kill me, it'd be you. Ye'd be the only one to get a free chance, lass, so use it wisely." She blinked, her free hand wiping away a waterfall of wet salty tears.

She couldn't kill him, the wretched man that he was. She couldn't. And it made her hate herself even more. After a few beats, he pushed the knife down, till her knuckles rested beside her head.

"Now ye' can't hurt me, no ye' can't. Because ye'love me, lass. Because this world wouldn't be much good fur'ya wit'out Henry Drax in it. S'that it?" He dragged his hips back, thrusting in gently. She closed her eyes and turned her head away. "Naw'no ye' don't..." He forced her head back, aggressively wiping fresh tears away. He closed the distance between them, mouthing and tonguing at the salty droplets. "I want ye' to say it."

"No." She cried.

"Yes." He grunted back, "Say that ye' love me. Say it like ye' said it on the Volunteer. Tell me." Her jaw clenched, as she turned her head back, their noses brushed, he was staring deeply into her eyes when her eyelids fluttered open.

"I love you." She uttered, shame swelling in her like an infected wound.

"Good girl," He grinned evilly, smug as he made another thrust that curled her toes, cock still hard and her body still aching for more. "Ye' belong to me and such a worser man I'd be to not give ye' what you be wantin' so badly." He kissed her cheek and she bit her lip in disgust. "T'make yer'dreams come true, lil'bird. Hmm? Would ye'like that? Make me a richer man for it too."

"Go-" Her fingers defeatedly uncurled from the knife, cupping his jaw, she met his gaze. "Go fuck yourself, Henry Drax."

He was so close, she could feel the laughter that bubbled out of him. It shook her body whole, like his cock.

Oh, to love life's cursed dangers.

#the north water #Henry Drax #Patrick Sumner #warning: rape! #dead dove don't eat #original characters #baxter #henry drax x oc #ofc #amc

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2023 Movie Journey #7: Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania

ant-man and the wasp: quantumania. wow, these titles just keep getting longer, huh. pretty soon they’re going to be listing every character in the name.

i saw this one in the theater, and saved the following as a note while i was waiting for it to start:

omg, i wondered why they recast cassie in the third movie with an actress that's much more prominent, featured in everything from big little lies to detective pikachu. and then very helpfully, while i'm waiting here, one of their pre-movie features was a game with the actress who will be starring soon in are you there god, it's me margaret...and she is the same actress who originally played cassie!! i didn't know that. so now I wonder if she had a scheduling conflict, rather than just getting replaced. that would be better imo since the actress who took over the role is great but i liked the original too and i don’t like when an actress is dumped from the role she originated for reasons like ‘we need somebody more well-known now that the role is more important’

gosh, i have a lot to say about this one i think. i always intended to watch the ant-man movies because they seemed fun, but it was the release of this one that got me to finally, actually do so. by the time it was coming out and jonathan majors was going to be the new antagonist and i was a huge fan of his (all things that weren’t true a couple of years ago) i was really happy to be able to catch up on the others and then see this one in the theater. and it was a great time. spoilers ahead.

ETA: i wrote this whole review, and saw this movie twice in theaters, only days before the news broke about jonathan majors being arrested. i have big, complicated feelings now about what he’s accused of and the consequences he’s faced versus how so many white men have been treated when they face similar accusations; about how it changed my opinion of him and destroyed my desire to see him in creed iii; about how talented an actor i still think he is and how much it sucks that people can be both talented and behave in ways that horrify me when i don’t even know them; how he was the beating heart of lovecraft country and i’d never seen a black man in a TV drama get to be that before, especially when surrounded by such a scene-stealing, strong cast; and how i may never be able to watch that series again, the same way i doubt i’ll ever rewatch this movie. but i reviewed this movie not knowing any of that yet, so my thoughts about him were true for that moment, and i’m leaving them in like a time capsule for my own experience.

it was NOT what i was expecting, though, so that made the first part of the movie really hard for me to get through--i was probably at least a third of the way in before i started enjoying it. there was just a ton of worldbuilding and what felt like a huge genre shift, from the action-comedy (with a hint of scifi) of the first two to suddenly a lot of scifi-fantasy. i couldn’t help being reminded of star wars, and how much the details of the whole ‘alien world’ part of it bore me, when i just want to watch carrie fisher exist. here, i was thrilled to see michelle pfeiffer have a much bigger role, but i didn’t need it to be happening inside a world we didn’t previously know existed in the ant-man universe, one where even the ants that had originally been the point were absent during all that worldbuilding.

however, i felt like the setup did pay off enough in the end that i enjoyed it, and i don’t think it would bother me so much in a rewatch. part of what had me so off-balance in the beginning is that each movie occurs inside the larger mcu with a huge time gap between ant-man installments, so they expect you to know what happened offscreen (they include minimal descriptions, but it can still be confusing as a standalone viewer) and the offscreen happenings create real effects on the story you’re jumping into. for example, knowing that the snap happened at the end of the last movie (and even knowing vaguely what the snap was) didn’t stop me from wondering what cassie’s life was like while the others were gone. was she raised by her mom, or were all the adults in her life vanished? if so, what happened then? i know i could try to look that up with mcu research but i wish instead it had been more directly a part of the movie since she was a more central character this time--or that there had been an ant-man movie that fit between this one and ant-man and the wasp, somehow.

but anyway, this movie was very clearly setting up a new antagonist, which they did by further developing the backstory of michelle pfeiffer’s time in the quantum realm. once i got into it, i enjoyed it a ton, because it meant a ton of screentime where she was working opposite jonathan majors, and all of those scenes felt like gifts just for me--they’re both so unbelievably talented and they’re also actors who can do such great dramatic work, it was hard for me to wrap my mind around them being in this marvel movie with all its action and cgi and creatures.

the family dynamics in this one were also important, and we got great interactions between the two couples, but it really did feel quite different than the first two movies, and i think that’s why--the ultimate focus of the story was kang, the new villain, even when it came to how scott’s burglar talents would be called into action. his sudden existence drove the action. i feel like my opinion was backed up by the very end of the movie, too, when the movie flashed a closing card like the first two had. that was one of my favorite little parts of the sequel, when the closing card added a question mark because the snap had left scott stranded and we would have to wait to see if he returned. but whereas the other ones ended with ‘ant-man will return’...this one ended with ‘kang will return.’ 

and i can understand why, since scott was left feeling uneasy about kang’s death but otherwise his life--and therefore his story--was neatly tied up. even if they bring him back for other mcu appearances, there’s no part of this movie that requires a next ant-man installment. which further points to how much of this film was an extended setup for kang to move on to other mcu battles, even though i think they fit it all into scott and hope’s families and lives and overall development well enough. 

there is one question i found myself left with after seeing this, that may have been explained in the movie--it was such a long movie with so much happening, i might have just forgot that they addressed it. but scott was stranded in the quantum realm for years after the snap. even though he was stranded for less years than michelle pfeiffer, i wonder why he never discovered any hint of the other worlds she roamed through? was it just that his suit tech kept him in one layer of that space, and she had moved through so many of them, she ended up in a place he couldn’t get to? did he just stay put and try not to move for five years and thus wouldn’t have seen anything? another thing i could probably research but won’t, lol. 

overall, i don’t think the ant-man world was necessarily improved by being moved to space (even if they call it the quantum realm)--but for me personally, that was heavily outweighed by my enjoyment of michelle pfeiffer and jonathan majors getting to fill the spaces they were in like the talents they are, and the rest of the characters and cast being just as great as always. living so intensely in this world for a couple of days really left an impression on me, but it was a super fun impression and i’m glad i visited.

#ant man and the wasp: quantumania #2023 movie journey #michelle pfeiffer #jonathan majors

[idreamtofmanderleyagain]

Im going to give much more in-depth meta after I watch the new Hellraiser a second time with my boyfriend. I'm letting my initial thoughts percolate, but I want to rewatch to see what I catch.

I enjoyed the movie. I don't think it was better than H1 or H2, and personally I think I even liked H3 more.

I think it is sleeker and less clunky than H2, but I'm not sure that necessarily makes it better vs. my own personal preferences...

I think Jamie Clayton did a great job with the material she was given (but more on that aspect later). I appreciated her subtle approach. Being completely honest, I think she lacked some of Doug's gravitas. That said, if we manage to get a sequel, I think she has a lot of room to grow with the character (which tbh is how Doug got the level of gravitas he had. His presence is most distinct by H3, she's closer on par with him in H1).

I liked Reilly and empathized with her. She's very much not Kirsty to me, but I could see some parallels. She was a strong main protagonist.

There are new lore elements that are brilliant additions, and there are questionable ones that feel more like they serve to glue this film's plot together/just to be "cool". Whenever that happens, the deeper themes seem to suffer a bit.

Speaking of the themes, they were the film's strongest point. And yet I could not help but feel the absence of the themes of desire and longing and sexuality. Had they kept closer to those core elements, I felt like the story may have actually come out stronger. There is an almost gender-blind quality to the film that I think pulls away from dynamics of personal experience that might have developed the characters a lot more, particularly when it comes to women's experiences, which were just so strongly present in the original. The lack of a deeper queerness (as in, more than just the presence of gay men being gay for a minute) tied into these themes also feels like a missed opportunity. There is a hint if you squint. There are VERY good bones here, but there was something that really left me wanting.

Viewing this as a potential first installment to a series, theres a lot of room to grow.

I think this was an honest effort, which in many ways paid off, and I very much welcome the film's presence in the franchise.

#hellraiser #hellraiser 2022

[natashasfilms]

Chapter Twenty-Four - Surprise Reunion

Summary: Returning to Hawkins for spring break, Aria is finally glad to be back at home to see her mom and friends. However, she soon finds out that the danger they’ve all faced before, is back yet again. This time, she may or may not fall at the center of it.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Original Female Character

Warnings: This story contains mature themes such as sexual content, strong language, violence, mentions of alcohol and drugs, blood, gore, and death.

Note: I imagine Aria Kaul as South Asian but I have decided to let you, the reader, imagine her appearance, hence the reason why I have not given her a face claim. However, her race does not affect the story, whatsoever. You, as the reader, are free to imagine her however you want. If you don’t see her as South Asian, then that’s fine. It won’t affect the storyline.

Series Masterlist

“Pizza?” Dustin questioned, everyone’s eyes trained on the pizza van that parked near them.

Aria watched the people in the van exit, lips parting when she saw the familiar faces that she hadn’t seen in months.

Jonathan, Will, Eleven, Mike, and a guy she didn’t know the name of walked towards them, causing everyone to grin.

She ran over to Eleven, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl as tight as she could. “Oh my God, El!” Aria squealed in excitement, pulling away to grab the sides of her face. “You’ve grown so much!” Her eyes moved up towards her head. “And your hair!”

Eleven laughed, nodding her head. “I missed you.” The girl admitted, causing Aria’s heart to swell with pride.

“I missed you, too.” The older girl grinned, bringing her in for a second hug. They pulled away again and Eleven looked over her shoulder to see Dustin, Aria noticing and letting the girl go to her friend.

She watched as Eleven walked away, turning her head forward to see another face she hadn’t seen in months. Jonathan made eye contact with her, feeling guilty for not answering her letters in months. He promised to explain why he hadn’t later.

Aria waved a hand at him, a small smile on her face as Jonathan waved back. She hated how distant they became. She finally fixed her relationship with Steve and she desperately wanted things to go back to normal with Jonathan.

Her wishes were answered when Jonathan brought his arms out, Nancy beaming at the sight of her boyfriend and best friend reuniting, to give Aria a hug. Aria ran over and wrapped her arms around his waist, Jonathan laughing from almost losing his balance.

Aria grinned into his chest and she couldn’t help but feel an immense relief of finally seeing him again. She had missed him so much.

They pulled away from the hug and Aria finally noticed how much he had changed. She pursed her lips and punched his chest, surprising Jonathan. “I hate you. Like, a lot.” She pouted. “You didn’t answer any of my letters, asshat.”

Jonathan sighed, guiltily. “I know, I know. I’ll explain why, okay?” He looked at Nancy who had a small smile on her face. “I’ll explain everything to you guys.”

“You better.” She said, and she suddenly realized she had a lot of explaining to do to the California group, about her past. “I have a lot of things I need to say too.”

Jonathan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, looking at Nancy. His girlfriend shrugged, knowing it wasn’t her place to say anything.

Steve walked over to the three, his arm wrapping around Aria’s waist. Jonathan saw the gesture and raised an eyebrow, causing Aria to become flustered. Steve gave Jonathan a tight lipped smile. “Jonathan.”

“Steve.” Jonathan gave him a firm nod, the two men trying their best to be civil with each other.

Aria still didn’t know why the two didn’t try to at least be friends. As far as she knew, they had their differences three years ago which were now sorted out. Aria and Nancy rolled their eyes at their boyfriends’ antics, scoffing at their behavior. The two men noticed and scrunched their eyebrows in confusion, not taking the hint.

Aria hugged Will and Mike, giving the former an extra tight hug after not seeing him in so long. She was introduced to their new friend, Argyle, who she immediately took a liking to. He seemed like a cool and hilarious dude.

Dustin told Eleven, Will, and Mike about Max in the hospital, the three growing worried in concern. Aria and Nancy thought it would be best to take them all to see Max and Lucas, despite Aria’s heart still breaking at the mere thought. She knew Lucas would be grateful to see them once again.

She kissed Steve before she left, knowing he was going to go with Robin and Dustin to the school to take the boxes to the donations. The gesture left everyone who didn’t know about their relationship that formed again literally thirty minutes ago in shock.

Aria, Nancy, Jonathan, Will, Eleven, and Mike got into Argyle’s pizza van, driving towards the hospital. Aria could feel her heart race as the images of Max bandaged in bed tore her apart on the inside.

They arrived at the hospital, rushing inside to find Max’s room. They all followed Aria and Nancy who had been here a few times, as they walked into the room. Argyle waited patiently outside to give them space.

Lucas was reading a book to Max when he heard the door open, his lips parting as he saw his best friends again. “Oh my God.” He breathed out, standing up from his seat to hug Will and Mike. “We’ve been calling you guys like crazy.”

“I know.” Mike answered. “We came as soon as we heard.”

Aria’s eyes darted over to Max, her breathing becoming heavier as she felt tears form again. She backed away into the corner, her hand turned into a fist to push against her mouth to stop any sounds that may come out.

She still wished it was her instead of Max. She wished everyone would have just listened to her and let her be the bait. She wanted nothing more than to be in Max’s place. She saw all the pained looks on everyone’s faces. She could have prevented this. She was supposed to protect them no matter what. And she failed to do just that.

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington series #angst #fluff #reticent series #steve harrington x aria kaul #steve harrington x oc #steve harrington x original character #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Questioning

Summary: Three friends are wondering about themselves.

Part of Pride Week Series! There is no Alternate title!

Pairing: None. Hinted Izuku/Tenya/Ochako.

Same universe as Tiger Said I Could

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Iida Tenya had a problem. Or well, he had two problems.

One, he was pretty sure he had a crush on Uraraka, and while that itself wouldn’t be troublesome normally, it became troublesome when his best friend Izuku also had a crush on the other girl. And Tenya wouldn’t interfere with that. Izuku struggled with attraction. Iida had been privy to many long talks about Izuku and his worries over his attraction to people. Being trans for Izuku was never something he felt shame for, but his dysphoria would kick in with a vengeance concerning attraction. If Izuku did feel attracted to Uraraka, Tenya would step aside.

That led to the second problem; he also had a crush on Izuku. Maybe. Tenya didn’t know. He never found other males attractive, which led him into a spiral about how he found Izuku attractive. If he found Izuku attractive, did that mean he liked guys? Or did he only like Izuku as he knew the other boy was trans?

Those thoughts made him ill, and he would push them aside. It also made him question everything. He was the lone Iida son who felt sexual attraction. Tensei had more or less threatened their parents when they pushed for an omai, and then they focused on Tenya instead. Tenya’s attraction to girls was fine for them. But was he interested in boys? Or…

Ugh. Tenya had no idea.

-

Uraraka Ochako was confused. She had two crushes on her best friends and didn’t know if they were real. Ochako found both really pretty and sweet, kind and gentle to each other along with her. She liked spending time with them, just hanging out. And sometimes, if she thought about kissing them, that was her business.

However, it confused her. Liking two people… was that normal? Was it not? What did it mean she had crushes on two people? She knew it could happen, but usually, she thought one crush would be lesser than the other. These weren’t; these were just as strong and just as deep as anything else. She liked them both so much.

She didn’t know what to do or think. She really didn’t.

-

Izuku liked his two best friends. He didn’t know what it meant, but he did. He liked them a lot, and it confused him so much how he liked them. He wanted to hold their hands, kiss or hug them.

Izuku’s issues with attraction were hard to deal with. Any sort of arousal sent him into a dysphoric spiral while he constantly fretted about an interest in men. His papa, Tiger, told him it was okay, he was still a boy, but it still confused him so much. Everything confused him, and he hated it.

But he liked them both, and he didn’t know what it meant.

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Notes:

-Originally, I was going with ‘queer’ here and the trio would be in a queer relationship but then I was thinking and ended up here cause sexuality and romance is confusing, and Izuku would need all the help he could get honestly.

-The three do end up together further into the future. Just… it takes a while.

-Not seen, being as always being an asshole and having some sort of one sided interest going on. Probably Todoroki or Bakugou. Maybe Shinsou.

#bnha #bnha au #music's pride week 2022

[gwydionmisha]

Strange New Worlds

I am still digesting Strange New Worlds: All Those Who Wander

Here there be Spoilers:

.

.

.

.

I am still so angry about the ableism and the teasing us with what looked like could have been a really interesting character and rare representation if they had wanted to explore it, then yoinking it right the fuck away, that I'm struggling to work out what to say, but I'm going to try.

The thing is, I actually was liking it up until that point despite the issues and some choices I was not best pleased by.  I rather liked them making Pike the man Kirk ended up spending his entire adult life trying to be and not pulling it off.  I was cool with them showing how Uhura started to become Uhura, because it meant that character getting a real arc, and they definitely are showing the canonical character's strengths, even if the drifted into Starfleet thing was not a choice to my taste.  This is a thing early 20somethings can struggle with.  Just because I'm not the intended audience (I hardly ever am outside of things like Torrchwood, Black Sails, and Our flag Means Death) doesn't mean a thing is bad, if that makes sense.  I really like the Nurse Chapel upgrade, even though I have concerns about what they might do with her Spock wise.  (I'd rather see her with Erica Ortegas).  They gave me men in my age range to look at who are worth looking at.  I liked the pretty doctor, but I am really hoping there is more to him in season two.  I really, really liked Erica Ortegas, even though I feel like the writers didn't bother to develop her properly, trusting Melissa Navia's charm and swagger to paper over them not bothering to give her an arc.  I rather liked them giving the original series network execs the finger by bringing Una back.  I have hopes that La'an's arc will do more with recovering from/learning to live with trauma, since they laid some ground work there.

I don't want to get into the whole Spock T'Pring issue or the Spock issue in general because that's a whole other massive and complex ball of string and I wanted to be asleep an hour ago.  Just... take as read my thoughts are complex here and I'm still digesting, okay? (Update: two and a half hours ago as of this going up on Tumblr Sunday morning.)

And then there was Hemmer, who was my favorite, once they started to give the actor things to do, because the actor was really fun to watch and it's hard to emote that well through that much make up.  (Yes, I know the actor knew when they hired him.  This isn't about that).  Seriously, they had all the ingredients to do all sorts of interesting things with him.  They could explore his culture.  They could explore his back story.  They could expand on the nubbins of a character they had only started to hint at that i had every faith that the actor could have pulled off.  There was so much potential for this to be a break out character and... They decided to fridge a rare character with a disability played by an actor with a disability on the first day of Disability Pride Month because... Why?  Shock value?   Because they realized killing off the barely characterized fat character by himself wouldn't pack a punch and we know a bunch of the characters need to survive for ToS?  (Were there any other fat characters with names on the ship?  it's possible I missed one, but the fact that I can't think of one is telling.  Fatphobia is an exhausting problem in media too).  Because they need to make the Xenomorphesque Gorn the new Borg so instead of killing some red shirts, they decided to kill the OC off with the most potential who also happens to mean a lot to an under-represented group of viewer Paramount doesn't care about to make the stakes feel real?

I don't know, but I'm so angry about it, I'm not sure even Ortegas and Chapel can keep me watching, or my curiosity as to how certain other threads develop.  (Not a sentence it would have occurred to me at any age I would be writing about nurse Chapel until this show premiered).  I have a year to think about it, but I don't trust them any more at it will take a lot to win me back to this show.

Which brings me to my other main point: a lot of the problems not counting the finale are because they had so much stuff that needed to be in the first season and not enough time.  We know fuck all about Ortegas and hemmer's backgrounds and lives.  They didn't get arcs of their own.  Lots of characters had stuff seeded for future season(s) that would have had some essential breathing room if they'd had an traditional trek length season for wiggle room instead of the shortened prestige format.  

Trek needs that room to breath in order to work a lot of the time.  You have all these characters in a first season to meet.  They need to establish a group dynamic.  The audience needs enough exposure to each to get an idea of what's their deal, basically.  (Ex: Pike's foreknowledge of his fate, Una being a secret Illyrian, La'an's Gorn trauma, etc.).  Every episode needs a puzzle or an actiony thing or a mystery or whatever plot.  Every episode needs to advance one or more character arc.

The heart of Trek has always been it's characters and relationships every bit as much as the world building and science fictiony social commentary bits.  When Trek works well it balances these things.  (I still think DS9 is far and away the best old Trek and the Kelvinverse movies are unwatchable.  No, I won't be taking criticism on this, reasonable people can disagree and you won’t change my mind).  You need Serious episodes and big plot episodes (if you are TNG era or later) and silly episodes and exploring a culture or concept episodes and gee whiz episodes and weird historical exploration episodes and RL social commentary reflection episodes and cool puzzle episodes and character arc episodes, etc..  You need to be doing 2-3 of these things in each individual episode and pretty much all of them in a season.  It is pretty much impossible to jam all that into thirteen episodes when traditional Trek had approximately twice as many.  Were some of the individual episodes not great?  Absolutely.  (I grew up on ToS in endless syndication and watched the animated series in real time when they were new.  A lot of the oldest trek is not great.  TNG is super uneven and the first two years... not great.  I bailed out of Voyager a few years in.  I only managed a few episodes of Enterprise.  Even my beloved DS9 had duds here and there).  The thing is though?  The longer seasons gave them room to shake out the bugs, to experiment, to really explore cultures, and from the start of TNG on explore character and do long character development arcs, to build a real sense of who the crew are separately and together.

The season was too short to fully develop most of the characters.  It was too short to do more than give some of them, like Una, more than one character issue for us to look at.  Una is an Illyrian and second in command, but what else?   Dr. M'Benga is the Doctor and had a sick daughter, but what else?  Ortegas is butch and an excellent pilot, but what else?  Hemmer is blind and the chief engineer, but what else?  And yes, I basically know the TV shows and the movies (except the third kelvinverse one, halfish of Voyager, lower decks, and most of enterprise).  I loved that novel Garak's actor wrote about Garak.  I think we read some of the Diane Duane expanded trek tie books on tapes on care trips around the turn of the century?  I know the stuff I know pretty well, because I've seen the bits I like often.  I don't know the expanded universe outside the visual media much at all.  I know fuck all about Aenar and I'd really, really like to, but oh well.

I just...  idk.  I was really enjoying it, but I don't trust them to fix the problems.  Not anymore.

To be clear, I’ve noting against short formats in general, I just feel like this was better suited to a longer format schedule.

#Strange New Worlds

[jadelapis]

Listening to a review of the first season of Netflix's Shadow & Bone (to remember what went on) and in the middle of the podcast an angry Ship Shaming rant started (about DarkAlina or w/e the ship name is). I finished the review, it was a good review (I want to be very clear, aside from the rant that generated this post, it was not a hate listen or anything), but the Ship Shaming irked me.

Like, I don't actually ship Darkling / Alina (because I didn't ship anyone in that trilogy. It is extremely easy to guess what I shipped in Six of Crows though, but if you need a hint, think gay thoughts; And I haven't read the latest trilogy so I have zero opinions regarding that).

But looking at my choices in life (the things I am writing for original fiction) it's honestly a surprise I didn't ship it.

Look there are certain things I love:

Fucked up relationships and fucked up people

Hero / Villain Relationships (particularly in the sense of showing how easily the hero could become a villain).

Like I do ship some uh "healthier" relationships (you will never convince me (Meg)ThanZag is a bad idea lol.) But you, podcaster that isn't reading this, had just pointed out how much Mal fucking sucks in the books (He is much more mature and less of an asshole without reason in the show). Like, if your main choices in BookWorld are: "Fucking Asshole I grew up with who doesn't seem to appreciate me and pouts all the time"

Or....

"Possibly (definitely) evil General who is at least paying attention to me" I don't blame ANYONE who finds the latter more compelling, you know? The Podcaster suggested it was Grooming (correct). That was the point. I'm pretty sure Leigh Bardugo wrote it that way deliberately. Like, you could certainly argue you have to be careful with these things in Kidlit because you have an impressionable audience (though yes there are many adults reading). But I felt like Bardugo did it well, you know? Like. Leigh Bardugo never showed the interactions between Kirigan/Darkling and Alina to be a good idea.

While I cannot read minds, I suspect Bardugo wanted you to see why Alina was drawn to the Darkling (aside from elemental powers you know?).

I am not like, a professional or expert, but I think part of grooming (not in all cases) is making the target feel good (about the predator). Like, I've seen it argued that part of the reason predators are so effective is they tend to treat the (young) victims more in a way that feels like the child's / target's concerns are being taken seriously, compared to say, dealing with their parents, you know? I can't cite that, it was a random tumblr post on my dash weeks ago, so don't cite me.

Like, part of the subplot of that trilogy is about Powerful Men taking advantage of vulnerable girls. So once again, I argue the point is made that Darkling/Alina is unhealthy.

but I'm not here to Ship Shame.

I suspect the people that Ship DarkAlina do so knowing it's fucked up. I can't like, take a census, and I'm unwilling to read a mountain of fanfiction / scrutinize profiles for this rant.

But let me put it another way. Let's talk about author V.C. Andrews. Best known for the Flowers in the Attic Series (which I am familiar with, but have not read). She wrote a lot of fucked up shit. That was the point. You may not have known the plot of whatever V.C. Andrews book you picked up, but you probably knew (definitely knew if it wasn't your first V.C. Andrews book) that it was about fucked up shit. Fucked Up Shit was basically the V. C. Andrews brand.

People are allowed to like fucked up ships or fucked up fiction for whatever reason, whether it's a therapy thing or they just find it fascinating, I know there are a myriad of reasons to do so, this is just off the top of my head.

Now, I know this is a longer post and more open to malicious interpretation, so I'm going to just leave a few key points here at the bottom:

As many people have stated in other posts, Ao3 offers exquisite filtering tools, and you have to click to consent to read anything explicit. So if you think fucked up pairings are fucked up and not your cup of tea: filter them out at a minimum. Do NOT click on fics tagged "Dead Dove: Do Not Eat", etc. I'm not willing to debate the ethics of AO3, or ethics of fucked up ships, or any other weird bullshit about shipping and fandom. Complain elsewhere.

I try not to spend my time hate watching / listening / reading things, since this rant was halfway through the podcast and only lasted like 3 minutes, I figured I'd continue. And I was right to.

Just to be safe I'm casting a spell of "Fuck Off, TERFS"

If you do like reading fucked up shit and / or fucked up ships, I'm more than willing to talk to you, especially if you want to analyze yourself. That's why (at least for the time being) I'm allowing reblogs and such. While this was prompted by a particular media, it doesn't have to be about the Grishaverse.

#Jude Rants #A rant I may flesh out into a blog post at a later date #Vague Shadow & Bone Analysis #Please don't make this into a Shipping War

[alaffy]

X-Men ’97, Ep.1x02 – Mutant Liberation Begins (Spoilers)

One thing I do want to briefly mention is how much I enjoy the music in the show.  The background music for the original series, bar the main theme, was…well, let’s just say it isn’t where the money went.  The score for this show is so much better.

I’m not really going to do a full recap for this episode, more of a rundown of some of important things that happen.  I would say that episode two is probably the weakest episode of the season.  It’s still got some very powerful moments, but there’s a lot of things being set up or dealt with in this episode and due to time constraints some things are just handled too quickly or some things don’t quite work like they should.

For instance, the (almost) whole team not trusting Magneto’s motives to them having no issues with him leading the team, should have probably been more then one episode (although given the time constraints I understand why that’s not the case).

The whole conversation between Rouge and Magneto was confusing when I first watched the episode.  For those who didn’t see the original series, when Magneto first appears, none of the X-Men except Xavier know who he is.  That is made very clear in the dialogue.    So, for Magneto and Rouge to be hinting at a past relationship, it just seemed like the writers had created a huge plot hole two episodes into the new series.  Of course, the retcon is eventually explained in episode 5; but it would have been better for some explanation to have happened here. 

The main part of the story has elements from the “Trial of Magneto” comic waaay back in The Uncanny X-Men Vol. 1 issue 200.  The outfit that Magneto is wearing is the one he wore at the trial (and I think for awhile in the 1980s).  There is an attack during the trial and it’s because of Magneto’s actions that Magneto ends up not being found guilty.  Magneto does become the Headmaster of Xavier’s school at the end of the comic (although in the comic, Xavier is taken away by Lilandra in order to save his life during this trial).  Nathan Summers will be born during this trial (although Cyclops will not be at the birth). 

Speaking of which, the whole Jean goes into labor thing.  I liked Wolverine’s reaction to her going into labor.  I liked the throwback to “making a car a convertible,” when she telekinetically rips off the roof of the car during labor pains.  But the whole hospital thing…I don’t get.  Or rather I feel like there’s information that’s being left out.  Because one would think that if the local hospital actually has a policy saying they won’t deliver a Mutant’s baby, wouldn’t that be something Jean’s doctor would have A) known and B) prepared for. 

Except we don’t see Jean’s doctor or there’s no mention of calling her doctor.  The only thing I can assume is that Beast was Jean’s doctor (given how the Mansion has far superior medical technology) and that Jean was planning on having the baby at home.  Of course, as Beast was dealing with the attack at the trial at the time Jean went into labor, Jean and Wolverine went to the hospital; only to find out that they wouldn’t accept her as a patient.  Of course, this would still beg the question of why, if Beast was her doctor, he wouldn’t have checked out the hospital beforehand to make sure there wouldn’t be any issues.  And, of course, this is all speculation as none of this is explained at all.   

As for the X-Ecutioner’s speech, hmmm, why does that seem so familiar? (yes, I’m being sarcastic).

Then, we have the moment where Storm is shot.  Again, this is from the comics, except it is Gyrich who is the shooter and that it was not at Magneto’s trial.  And, just like the comic, she was told it would be permanent (and actually, in the comics, she didn’t get her powers back for like three years).  Watching Storm in this moment, when she realizes she can’t use her powers, is really heartbreaking.

And the moments after, when Magneto takes everyone into the upper atmosphere is quite intense.  Had this been the original series, there wouldn’t have been any tension because there’s no way Fox Censors would let Magento drop any of those people to their death.  But with this show, I think this is the moment where I realized that there’s a distinct possibility that Marvel might let this happen.  That beyond the occasional cheesy dialogue and the soap opera moments, Marvel was taking this show dead seriously when it came to the topics of bigotry and hatred (and this was just the tip of the iceberg).  But, of course, Magneto didn’t drop them…but only because he was fully committed to honoring Xavier’s trust in him to continue Xavier’s work.  (And also because, well, it really makes the second half of the series that much stronger). 

At the end of the episode, Magneto is fully accepted as the new leader of the X-Men.  Storm decides to leave the X-Men.

Oh, and another version of Jean appears at the X-Men’s door, asking for their help. 

#x-men #x-men 97 #x men 97 spoilers

[devil666lovesblog]

When a Little lover became my love slave

I started this relationship when I was eight years ago, and that is a successful relationship to me in many senses of the word. I never knew her exact age since I never asked her to show me her ID, she told me she is in F.4 and some part of my mind treats her as 13/4 year’s old when she shows me her body.  The original intent of starting an account in this popular social network site among the teenagers is not for her but for chasing another girl Mr. Chan the slut(See the YAC series). However, Mr. Chan disconnects me after acknowledging that I don’t have a WeChat account. She sees it as a sign that we shall not go any further. Thus I was stopped there and looked for somebody else. I chased her until I reached there then I met other girls, and none of those relationships lasted for more than a month or so. The spark starts easily and it dies off just like a match, and most of time those relationships remain purely emotional and nothing physically. 

One thing strikes my mind when I read all the profiles of teenagers is that she dresses in lolita style with a Japanese name spelled in English, and my instinct tells me that she is M type girl (The submissive one). Those type girls enjoy direct control/abuse/manipulation even abuse and torture by men interested in having sex with them, and I am an extreme S type (As those who read my novels should be notice by now). It is amazing retrospectively on how much information a photo reveals: I see her as a M type girl, shy, not extrovert, passive and probably quite nervous. What she dresses is not exactly a school uniform, what I can tell from my instinct is that she wants to attract guys by projecting a submissive image, and every girl is there to look for suitable guys. Maybe placing a profile in here(to publicize her presence in a social network) is already courageous and being brave to her. 

The trouble is that she already had a boyfriend, one would have to ask whose teenagers in their adolescent who don’t have a ‘boyfriend’ or lover? I just happen to have faith in the attraction of the opposite type and her reproductive instinct would guide her to my bed. Those are many inexperienced guys madly seeking the attention of their Godness (only to be disappointed and used by the girls as ATM or human transporter or a security guide) by trying to chat with  their godness 20 times a day and send voluminous comforting words in Whatsapp. It would place me in a bad spot light if I apply the same ‘strategy’ to make me look younger. I don’t usually strike for the most beautiful/popular girls I could find, and she is not very pretty and attractive in this regard.

I let things happen on its own accord, there is no rush to take a delicious feast. I was imagining fucking her in various postures with her school uniform on without underwear and bra with a lot cum shoot out, my dick is never so hard before in my life when I am masturbating. The first thing I ask her is to tell me about her dreams then she tell me nothing about that. I felt my time has come when she start the conservation by asking me about what guys thought about virginity and sex in general, and she hinted that she want to have sex after she is formally married (But she would probably get marred quite early as compared to her peers). It was surprising to me when it doesn’t follow the gradually-became-more-intimate pattern, but I am not scared of any new pattern and new mode of relationship. Since human intelligence evolved out of intra and inter sexual competitions, it follows that male and females could relate to each other in many different ways not previously defined and categorized.    

I see that is the green light for me to progress with her till she became my girlfriend. She is giving me the opportunity to impress her.  Then instead of just answering her with pure scientific knowledge in an objective tone, I gave my answers in the form of short stories with my own feelings and emotions embedded.  And also take the opportunity to tell her about my ex-love-affairs with a lot of juicy detail (which she doesn't reject). She is very concerned that her boobs are not big enough to the guy she is formally in love with since he read adult comics which the female characters often have 36G boob sizes which is unreachable for her. i.e. She is not secure with her relationship with her boyfriend.  So one of her ways to strengthen their relationship is to try to initialize further physical contact as a lover, but it sounds like she had some ‘technical difficulties’ in doing so. She said she is not satisfied when her boyfriend is of M type, and he doesn't even permit her to suck his dick instead wearing a Chastity belt for male. Another sign that her relationship with him is unsatisfactory is that She also chat with many different guy on the topics of sex with many different guys. When she is chatting about sex topics her hole would be moistened for no apparent cause, I deduced that she probably has a lot repressed sexual desires and she masturabate in front of the computer(when home alone). What I answer her is that HongKong guys usually define virgin as someone who never had a penis inserted into her cunt through her vagina and the dickhead touch her womb and ejaluate sperms inside those girls usually had a visible hymen and usually not knowing too much about sex. 

I begin to understand more of her trouble when I use my sexual experience as a guide toward what may/may not happen when she is having sex for the first time. She are reluctant to admit that she masturbate during the sex chat and get high by imagining the storyline of she is being abused or tortured and commanded to follow exactly according to the plotline of my stories like Ivan who steal the test paper then I force it on her and taken her virginity. However, she has her limit and she would only allow her boyfriends to touch and squeeze her boobs from the outside with bras on, and occasionally let her boyfriend to finger her cunt outside the trouser when it gets really itchy. I can also tell she really enjoys my sexual fantasy and one time I commanded her to imagine herself to kneel down and suck my dick squeezing my balls but she can’t have it her way unless I gave her the permission. She replied to me half an hour later and said she fell asleep (after masturbating to orgasm). You may or may not believe that is almost my beginning of writing sexual fantasy, that is the period I learn and practice how to write and improve on my skills of writing sexual fantasies which target M-type girls during the love affair.  I figure the more she is immersed in my sexual fantasies, chances are more likely she would like to taste my real dick and eat my cum. We did establish some types of pleasure bonding even before we formally dated, that is when some dating couples rigidly follow the ‘schedule’ and routine of formal dating and never let desires to have leeways.

Since we increase our frequence of chat very much when she love to play in the role of submissive sex slave, my initial speculation is confirmed when she start calling me master in one of our conversation. 

‘Master, what do you want me to do?’ 

‘Master, where do you want me to suck?’ ‘Master, how fast do you want to suck?’ 

‘Master, do you enjoy my service?’ ‘Master, am I making you happy?’ ‘Master, am I allowed to have orgasm?’ There was one time I asked her not to wear any underwear when she was sleeping, and another time I asked her to use her fingers to test the tightness of her butthole then report to me. But she won’t obey my command of not wearing the underwear during the school: She said she would be wet before no time, and her cunt would be shown to everyone in the Catholic all-girls secondary school, it is just too embarrassing.

And my subtle power struggle with her boyfriend is reaching to the new height when she suddenly said she decided to have sex with her boyfriend in the coming Saturday. I was

getting jealous as she expected, and said I am going to take part in a ‘dangerous’ demonstration the coming Wednesday. There are some chances when we clash with the police and are arrested/beaten up and never to see each other again. So if she is indeed interested in developing a more complete relationship with me, she would be regretted in the future of the one step she is yet to take. That is how I managed to see her undress and masturbate in front of me for the first time. I remember vividly when she is very reluctant to open the door and hesitate to undress in front of me like she is doing that for the first time in her life, let alone I ask her to take off all her dress when I secretly takes a few  photos of her naked body in the process, and the hard battle in her mind when to have the male organ to piss to place inside her mouth. (I deliberately did not wash my dick in front of her.)  Then I am confident she is not playing as a virgin although she doesn't have a visible hymen, I ask her to kneel down before the master when she is trying very hard to suck my dick. As a master I command her: Obey my command exactly or I will be leaving. Then I can see desire sparkles in her eyes when her eye is open wide with a stiff dick right in front of her face, I ask her to use her tongue, to use her face, to use her eyes, to use her ears and to gently massage the dick. She is not a excellent learner of sex skills but her skin is very soft, especially the feeling of her eyeballs are unforgettable. I said: The first task for you is to make my dick hard and the master wants to cum in your face/eyes to denote that your body belongs to mine. As she sink it to her desires I tell her to undress her clothes, her trouser so I could play with her boobs while she trying hard to put my dick inside her mouth, and when her hands are too soft I demand her to make a tunnel of her boobs: That is what we called Sausage-egg style of sexual intercourse. And when her boobs are rubbing both sides of my dick I reward her by saying: Your boobs are not as inadequate as you think they are. See, you are making dick harder and the master is happy with that. I remember her tears in the eye and at the moment I use her eyeballs to rub my dickhead until I shoot right into her eyes, and later I force my dick deep inside her mouth to have a taste of her mouth through my dickhead. My dickhead could feel her throat when I was thrusting backward and forward slowly then she would be even more ashamed but excited. As she adjusted to my rhythm she moved her head accordingly, avoiding her teeth to touch my dick and keenly observing my reaction. It is like she is disgusted with the whole idea of oral sex but she don’t knew how to please me otherwise. I said the oral testing of her mouth must last at least five minutes for me to see her again when her mouth is for the long lasting pleasure of the master, and if I ejaluate before that she would not have the chance to have my dick thrusted into her slutty hole. So she practiced with my dick five times but only twice that I either shoot in her mouth or shoot cum right to her face. She is disgusted at the presence of my sperm in her face, hair and inside the mouth; but without my permission she is not allowed to clean my sperms from the face. For that would be disrespectful of the master. Later I allow her to spite my sperms from the mouth in the toilet but I follow her there and start fingering her deep in the cunt with my other hands squeezing her boobs. I said that is a punishment of not exactly doing what I want her as a sex tool. After she spit my sperm then I took off all my clothes and she started to massage my tummy, my dick, my chest then my face using her boobs. She also has to masturbate in the toilet seat when I am kissing her lips then I start sucking her boobs, her nipples are very hard and she moans loudly with her face flushing. She then has my permission to wash her whole body while I am rubbing her butt with my dick, squeezing her butt and boobs, kissing her neck...etc. I tell her that it is the couple-shower which is often practiced by hookers and escorts to please the customer, but the way they do it is not natural and unlike real lovemaking thereby I don’t go to these places very often.   

We begin to run out of the time since the shower is way too enjoyable for both of us, it is not just sex but a bit of romantic feeling that engulf both of us. She probably never saw a man naked right in front of her for the first time and she is very curious to explore my manhood with her hands then her foot, and she can do excellent footjob. Her body is weak and her virginal fluid contains some blood, that prevents me from going the full mile with her. But as she departed from the bathroom with me I suddenly put my finger deep inside her very wet pleasurable tunnel and she instinctively kneel down next to the cage she kept her pet dog, then I thrust my dick inside her butthole while holding her steadily in her boobs. She quickly adjust to my dick inside her other hole and her hands begin to massage her clitoris, and I fuck her other door rigorously just like I am fucking her vagina. I said your dirty slut is so slutty that you enjoy me abusing her shithole. She moan and moan and moan until she reaches orgasm and I shoot inside her butthole and said: Slut, your asshole is the container for my cum and so do your womb; you are my walking womb built for my dick’s pleasure. I am happy it is tight. That is almost over when we dress up, she open the door for me wanting me to leave fearing her tutor teacher would arrive soon; but I take out my penis said it is dirty from fucking her butthole and she have to clean it up otherwise I won’t leave. I can see she is very much embarrassed but she is very excited about the possibilities somebody else is watching her orally serve the master’s dick. 

Right after this wonderful experience something else happened between us in two weeks, I meant after she had taste of my cum in her mouth and butthole she add me into her friendlist in the Facebook, and we communicate in that medium mostly for that time one, and I wrote daily sexual fantasy of how I conquer her in public toilet/in backseat of car/ in the closet/ on her bed and in her school. It is almost effortless for me to make up stories like that when I had an ongoing sexual relationship. It is a big step for me since then I would know every of her friends from schools and more of her private life, while previously I have to take her word on the face value. Also she would know more about my habits/interests/dreams and interpretation/IT ideas/OU research/Slashdot and my localist political aspirations. Many of them are new to her. I am not worrying about her, see what is beneath my mask with so much information about me at her disposal. I don’t really organize my information in any of my social media accounts, and I write a lot of posts everyday. For a girl of her intelligence, the fastest way to get to know me is by fucking me in the bed since any man would have a hard time pretending to be someone else in bed. And in my facebook there are also hundreds of would-be-competitors with her for my dick and soul, at least that’s how she see them after our first sex act. Thus a one-time-off sexual encounter would not be enough for me to remember her, and she is yet to be my formal girlfriend.    

Probably it is her reproductive instinct that works its magic, since then one day she told me she was unhappy when she lost a purse in a taxi she rode, and asked me if I could buy a replacement for her. And we go through the list of purses and handbags on what she likes on the ebay. She is a considerate girlfriend since she won’t demand expensive LV purses that are very popular among HongKong girls in a formal dating relationship. Instead she picked something much more affordable, then immediately I made the order via a friend’s bidding account. However, it is at that time I realize something odd there. I ask her: How may I deliver that purse to you? If I send it via mail package then your parents would be suspicious of getting a package from someone they don’t know? And that is in my name so you can’t take the package. I will have to see you in order to give that to you. For other guys, they won’t mind traveling an hour from their home to her home just to drop a package and do nothing else. However that is not my style. She quickly understood my intentions without me saying so. I can’t distinguish whether it is her cunt which is very itchy to drive her to ask me to give her a gift or she genuinely ignores the delivery issue when she said: Okay. Do you want me to blowjob you? Blowjob with hand or mouth only(Deep throat)? Or you want a footjob with me? You want cum in my face/my eyes/my nose/my ears or all of them? How many times do you want fucking my face? Do you want me to swallow in blowjob? Do you want Sausage-egg style sex with my small breast? You want body messaging with my breasts, with my cunt or both? Do you want me to masturbate in front of you? Do you want to play with my other holes? Would you put objects on my vagina/butthole? Would you like me to finger my own cunt/my asshole? Would you like to play with me without a bra? What shall I wear when you fuck me? Shall I wear underwear or not when you fuck me? Would you like 6-9 style intercourse? Would you like me to lick your balls? Would you like me bath with you then fuck? Would you like me in a lolita dress/school uniform/T-shirt/pants/trouser? What is more arousing to you? Anything else you want me to do?       

Instead of answering her directly, I ask her a surprise question: Do you like it in the ass again? She became silence for a while then said: No, please not, although I clear up both of my holes for sex with you last time, my ass hurt for a week and I try very hard to hide that from my parents. Now it hurts whatever when I was going to use that hole normally, and if you do that again and again many times;  my female friends or even my mother would notice the difference. I replied: So you are okay if I use your vagine for pleasure and hole-drilling? She said: I am your girlfriend and my holes are there to make you happy. I said: You were not mad at me when I took the virginity of your asshole? Do you regret it is me but not your boyfriend to be the first one to put his dick inside you and cum? She said: A little and that really hurts. A little regard, I don’t expect we would go that far. I said: You promise you are going to make me happy with all your body parts. WHICH PART DO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND? It is painful at first, but I see you already start enjoying me exploring your anus. And you still have the virginity when no guys would normally ask about the virginity of your asshole, and if you refuse then I would not use the hole you reserve for your husband after you are married. But you can’t hold up yourself in the sight of me, which means you are truly in love with me. Although you said no but your hole is mouth-watering for my dick, and the same mouth also sucks my dick very hard and lets me cum inside. You are making me want to put my stick deep inside your little hole every night and fuck till you drop and all cum inside your womb.

‘Ah, don’t make me pregnant. You can do anything you want to me, MASTER, just keep my body fit for your pleasure. Please, my mother would kill me if she knew that.’

‘So, let’s forget about plans. YOU JUST HAVE TO OBEY ME like a SLAVE, or otherwise I will tell on your parents, your classmate and your boyfriend.’

‘Masturbate tonight with your finger tonight then take a photo with your smartphone.’

‘Master, I can do as you wish. But I really hate to be photographed in this fashion. I will obey you everything else.’

‘Okay, do the masturbation and I will check up with you tomorrow morning. Good night and sweet dreams.’

Next day morning: ‘Good morning, dear. How was your masturbation last night? How long? How deep?’

‘My parents are here, you are making my face red. I masturbated for half an hour before I slept last night with your photo.’

‘Good day. Try to do that in the school toilet.’

‘NO WAY, my classmate would notice when I moan..’

‘Good day.’

Next day morning: ‘Good morning, show me your cunt that you have masturbated? This time without underwear for whole night then you play with your clitoris’

‘Yes, master, I have done that and it felt very good. I will try very hard in the school toilet but fail. I am not aroused. I will try that again tonight. Good bye, dear.

Next day morning: ‘Good morning. Do you miss my dick from your last night’s DIY? How is your cunt today?’

‘Not bad, I cummed in my bed imagining you knock down the door, tie me in the bed by the edges, and forcibly rape both of my holes.’

‘You finger your asshole also? How do you do that?’

….. That has been going for a week until the day we made an appointment. And not surprisingly her boyfriend became her ex and refuse to contact her anymore, no guys can tolerate their girlfriend have sex with somebody else before them. And they don’t want to share that hole with another guy. That her boyfriend is mixed and handsome looking, but his looks are no comparison to my sexual fantasies corresponding to what she needs both in her mind and her body. Girls are choosing a guy with intellect and creativity expressed in my stories and dreams, and my expressive power is an excellent weapon. Unlike those guys who correspond with their girls in half Chinese, half Cantonese and mixed with English grammar and sentence structure unknowingly. My stories are either formal traditional Chinese with reference to the classic and in formal language, and I talk to her in Cantonese; and I did write about IT/OU/international affairs in English. One part I love about her is that she enjoys reading formal Chinese literature. 

This time she said she want a longer fucking time when last time she haven’t had enough. Thus, she has found a time she doesn't have to be tutored, and to be certain her parents are not home. Her mother works regularly in her father’s business, and occasionally her father gets home early just for the heck of it while her mother goes shopping. It is not easy for her to make time, and I do think she enjoys the thrill of our ongoing secret affair and sexual adventure while I am not known by her parents/friends/classmates...etc. That secrecy added to her satisfaction of our sexual relationship.

I just realize that when a girl really want sex with you; they will always made time and place for your dick, they will make arrangement of time for you and you don’t have to beg for their attentions due to the expectation of intense sexual pleasure throughout encounter. This girl enjoys the conflicting feeling of shame and being exposed half-publicly to someone who shares the same feelings with her. And I believe this applied to all girls to some extent. Female sexuality is, by definition, more complex than male sexuality. And once a girl is hooked to have sex with you, then all she want to do everyday is to copulate with you. She is a Virgo with a lot of willpower and some intelligence, and one can imagine what happens to other non-Virgo girls who are neither intelligent nor the restraining power of her. It is just a matter of time and opportunity that they would crazily fall for someone.

Unlike formal dating I don’t stop openly flirting with other girls until I have taken her virginity, so I have the advantages of both worlds. I am formally single and she is not my girlfriend, thus she can’t complain too much about my other relationships unless she formally became my girlfriend; and at the same time she want sex only from me and it is impossible for girl who ventured into mature womanhood to go backward. 

On the second date we had, the night before I forgo the part to ask her to masturbate, and I don’t remind her either. But during the afternoon when she had lunch in the school I inform her via SMS that I will pay a visit to her school and bring it with a tool to torture her. Also, I ask her to get her cunts wet before departing from the school, and I will stick whatever I want inside her hole be it wet or dry. ‘Rape the dry hole’ would be really painful for a girl like you but of some enjoyment to an extremely S guy like me. Five hours before the time we meet I start counting the time to destination in my Facebook and it is the medium which I get to know her. That amazingly is foretold by her dream which she is running down the stairs in school just like the clock with nobody inside. I also happen to be the only person to interpret that dream for her.

After I SMS that I am near the school, she is really scared that I would break into the school to grasp her and rape her right there; she try to complain about that but to no avail. And we play cat and mouse games until she rushes back from the school. It is probably the fastest time she ever reached home from school. This time I caught her in the ground floor of the building she lives with her parents and go up with her in the same elevator with my hands under her trouser and throughout her legs and occasionally in her underwear on the butthole to heighten her sexual arousal further, she smartly stand in front of me to block the sight of the camera, it is just like a secret lovers going to a love motel. Yes, I treat her home as a love hotel and I can fuck her in whatever ways and whatever place when I like it. If I am twenty years younger, I may not have the guts to do that and I may just give her the gift at the ground floor and run away just like the night I am dating Rabbit. I would not run away from my fate again only to be regretted for the next twenty years. I am confident that I can subdue this little slut in her soft or in the ground. Master fears nothing, Master conquers everything. Or otherwise remains single for the rest of my life.

The elevator trip wasn’t really long, I am sure that felt very long to her. Although she is embarrassed and relectuct, but she get into her role of a sex doll readily and start to enjoying the molestation of her body when her try hard not to moan. It is her job to do whatever the master please even in public places. I figure she does enjoy the risk of being seen doing indecent things in the public just like her quick blowjob last time when the door is half open, my point at that time is just to blow my sperms to her face to insult her then she would want even more sexs with me. And this time I decided to take her virginity out of her hole and will not leave until my sperm are inside her womb.  After we leave the elevator then she almost runs to her door for the fear of her neighbor seeing her fornicated in the hallway, and I walk slowly and confidently. When she inserts the key in the keyhole, my fingers are in her butthole pretending to my penis moving backward and forward. ‘Please, not in here. Not in here, I don’t want to be seen.’ ‘So have you masturbated in the school toilet according to my order, slut slave?’ ‘Yes, I do’ ‘Your asshole is still very tight, does it feel good when I touch it?’ ‘Yes, please don’t do it here. I...I will do everything you want inside.’ ‘You want my thing inside your little tunnel, do you?’ ‘Ah....Ah...Ah...no please’ ‘I want to cum inside your tunnel and into your womb, otherwise I won’t leave.’ ‘Maybe...you hurt my butt.’ ‘Kneel down and suck my dick with the door half open NOW.’ Then she does exactly as I wish with face redden and her eyes avoiding my eye. ‘Open your eye wide to see your master’s dick. Isn’t that great?’ As my hands enter her school uniform to tease around her small peaches, ‘Taste good? You want more? Sex slave!’ It is hard to talk when my dick is varying its depth inside her mouth but I can feel some air flow from her throat passing through my dick, she has a lot of water in her mouth when she is mouthwatering my dick. I learned that last time her cunt was really wet and got extremely wet when slight manipulation of my hand, my fingers weren't even inside and it got wet like she is very excited to have her first blowjob. But it wasn’t exactly like a professional blowjob it was like tasting my dick with her flexible tongue. And gradually she gets into the basic steps of blowjob when her tongue is circling my dick and her head moves back and forth with the same angle, and her fingers encircle my dick. ‘Not enough strength, strengthen it.’ ‘Now, another hand takes off your underwear. It is difficult to take off underwear in her posture when almost all schools wouldn’t allow girls to wear short trousers. As she is trying in vain to search for entry into her trouser, I adjust her posture so she is bending forward when I close the door in the apartment she lives in. ‘Pull down your underwear then touching your clits like when you are at the school, stupid student.’ That is probably her first time she is doing a blowjob with her left hand, while her right hand is moving back and forth until she finds the hole and starts fingering her holes. ‘I ask you to play with your clitoris. Your fingers are not allowed to touch anything inside.’ So she encircled her swollen clitoris when her other hand and her mouth were moving in sync, I can tell she had some practice and some training with her mouth before. ‘Switch your hand, swing faster, play with your boobs’ So she tries squeezing her boobs alternatively while her mouth is doing her best to please the dick of her master. It is probably I had many sex experiences so it took her almost ten minutes for me to reach a more excited state and she can felt my dick grow inside her mouth. It is at that moment I realize when a lover copulates it is not just their bodies moving against each other but also their sexual/love experience communicated through those motions and the inner feelings. Like now she realizes I am sexually experienced, probably much more so than her ex-boyfriends. And one thing I imagined is that her boyfriend refuses to let her taste his dick is for the fear of blowing all his sperms out within ten second her tongue touches his dickhead. It is like telling his girlfriend that he has no willpower, and at moment she takes off her clothes. His dick already expands to its maximum capacity, the very idea that his girlfriend using her mouth to please his most sensitive part is just too arousing to bear. If he is honest with his girlfriend then he won’t lose his girlfriend to me, and after today when I shot cums deep inside his girlfriend’s small tunnel. All is lost for him and her next boyfriend. This notion of fucking someone else’s girlfriend is probably more arousing to me than just having sex with a young girl. For I have seen girls of her age work as prostitutes and pleasing me with her pale red apples and dripping cunt. That young prostitute thought when she let me cum inside her womb she would have the chance to become my real girlfriend and move to HongKong with me. 

 ‘You are mouthwatering my dick, don’t you?’ ‘ANSWER ME: Yes or No?’ She nodded her head. ‘Is this your first blowjob?’ Nodded again. ‘You would need a lot of practice and I would cum in your mouth many times before you get the heck of it. Do you like blowjobs?’ ‘Do you like my dick?’ Nodded again. ‘Now let us go to the soft to play with 6-9 style sex, take off your bra since I want a Sausage-egg style sex.’ I go to the soft with her and she was on top of me with her mouth continually messaging my dick and my fingers are thrusting back and forth in her birth canal that is full of fluid, my mouth is sucking at her hole with my other hand messaging the nearby of her butthole. I can tell she is working very hard with more concentration to this job than she is playing online computer games. I always wonder what would be like if I am fucking her hole when she try to play such a game, I changed my hand and with different angle of entry to her river of pleasure. Finally I shoot my cum without any warning right into her face and she is motionless to savor the moment. That is again her first 6-9 sex with cumming right in her face, she enjoy this kind of ‘insult’ and degrading. For most girls, their instinct is to remove the cum from her lips and tip of her nose but she is awaiting my orders: DO NOT touch the cum, leave them right there. Smell them chick.’ And with stimulation of sperms right in her face and the smells of it she cum, my fingers extend to Y shapes and rub even more rigorous inside and out of her little hole for pleasure for about five hundred times, then I can felt the twitching and squeezing of her tunnel and a lot of fluid is expounded right into my face. She is laying on top of me for a rest, and wait for a few minutes as a break then start fingering her cunt for the second time, but this time it took me ten minutes and she is yet to cum and my dick is not ready to shoot cum yet, then I led her to clean up the body with me in the shower again. Now she realizes that I could last very long in her mouth, and probably last much longer inside her really wet cunt, and her wish is now to get my dick invading her tunnel but she is afraid that would be hurting too much. Amazingly, instead of continue our sex she go back to play computer game while I sit in the soft look disappointed. She is sensitive enough to notice my disappointment, then she said in a lower tone: Maybe you can play with your object inside my hole. Thus I take out my toothbrush and start brushing her cunt outside, she really doesn't want me to put it inside. However, I said if not a toothbrush then I would put sharp pencils to write a book in her tunnel. So she allowed me to play with her hole with an electric toothbrush and her face twitch according to the rhythm of my hand inserting and withdrawing the vibrating toothbrush. I can tell from her face that she want real sex with dick inside her canal of birth, thus I led her to the bathroom and in the shower she again do all the messaging with all her body part to put soap in my tummy, chest and finally my dick. As long as it is time for washing all the soap away, she stands up and walks a small distance from me then asks: Do I not look like a virgin to a guy because my hymen is broken? I figured that she probably broke her hymen when she started masturbating, so I said yes. Then she sits on the top of me with her cunt aiming for my erected dick and my huge tent reaches her womb, she starts to move upward downward using the feeling from her cunt, then she is turning to left and right slightly many many times until she rests on top of me. However hard she try to rub my dick with the lining of her cunt it is not feeling anything with soap and tonnes of her cunt-water. So later she crawl likes a dog and I fuck her vagina in doggie styles when she change the angle of entry to her super-wet tunnel by holding the edges of washing machine, to increase the stimulation I squeeze and turn her left breast to left while turn and squeeze her right breast to right then reverse the direction. She ask me fuck her deeper and I said: THE MASTER would FUCK YOUR LITTLE SLAVE in whatever way I want, rotate your cunt according to my left hand on your breast, good; now follow the order from the feelings of your right breast. Yes.  IT IS ME PLAYING WITH YOUR LITTLE SLUT, shut up and message my dick using your watering holes. You are my sperm-container and act as one. She shut up and started rubbing my dick in various angles clockwise and anticlockwise many many many times. But her cunt is simply too wet, it is by that time I learn when a girl wants to leave a guy a long lasting impression by maximizing her wetness in the hole, thus maximizing the pleasure in the dick. However, she is not rubbing hard enough then I start to thrust very very very rigorous. All that fails to make us cum then she goes back to sit on the top of me in the toilet seat with her tunnel moving forward and backward with my arrow guiding her internally. This time I manage to rotate and squeezing her breasts then start tasting her ears, she turn to sit perpendicular to me and we start kissing passionately, it is like she try to suck the air out of my mouth and her tongue reach far and deep just like my dickhead is messaging the outlining of her womb. It is probably her first time to be kissed and fucked at the same time. I can felt her vagina start to twitch and squeezing my dick, then I leave her mouth and shout: Slut, I shot the cum inside you and fuck you in your womb. She cried with tears in her eyes, I just ignored her and shot everything inside. She rested on top of me and I finally took her virginity in an undeniable/irreversible way. One time is not enough for me so we repeat the ‘success formula’ and fuck five more times with all my sperms cum inside her womb. I said: Are you happy now with my sperm in you and you became my sex slave? She nodded happily with joy in her eye. She then cleans up my dick and I shoot her in the mouth, she swallows them without hesitation.    

And the next day she made the excuse of me fixing the game software for me to go her apartment to fuck her, I brought with myself contraceptive pills but she have to take me from the ground floor without wearing underwear with my dick in her mouth. This time my hands are her hole with a few pencils in her butthole. Before she opens the door I take her to the stairs for a blowjob then I cum in her mouth before giving her a contraceptive pill to swallow at the same time. Going back to her apartment  we started making love, she gave me her smartphone to call her ex-boyfriend in front of me but nobody responded. She said he dump her after she confess of having sex with me. However, this time she won’t be let me fuck her in the ass, I was fucking her with her back bending forward in her favorite chair in front of computer while she was playing computer game. She would take a cup of tea before I penetrate her with my dick. Soon enough the feeling from her vagina prevented her from concentrating in her favorite game. I said: Enjoy my dick in your cunt? Enjoy fucking by me? Her eyes are half closed and she can’t reply; she then adjusts my angles of entry to her vagina several more times before she sits on my dick again. And later I am on top of her fucking her in the soft, then I am fucking sideway then she is on top of me with my hands on her breasts. She moved her upper body gradually to almost vertical angle while thrusting backward and forward many times before I cum inside her. We then make love near the window in doggie style for the perspective of others seeing us doing what we are doing. This time my finger is inside her asshole when I ejaluate inside her.  We then go back to the soft to fuck several more times before I leave. 

After she formally became my girlfriend, our relationship grew much closer than before; and she started asking me about my topics of interest like dream interpretation, OU designs and IT ideas and my political aspirations, and about my daily life and other habits. I explain everything in detail. That is another plateau in our volumes of communication, we already talk a lot on Facebook. It is like now she has a keen interest in someone who took her virginity, and I had a feeling that she wanted to be my wife, not just girlfriend. However, strangely every time I ask her if she wants to be my girlfriend, she would vehemently deny any of that in her intention. When I said: Hey, my cum is already in your womb many times, she replied with silence.   

Originally our relationship would progress when we were passionately making love everyday just like a couple, but suddenly she asked me to buy an electric vibrator. That is something I really don’t like. I said it is better she adjust to a real dick than play with a mechanical vibrator all by herself. However she insists on me buying that to her, when I push for the reasons she said after a long delay that she is afraid of gaining weight when she is using contraceptive pills everyday. She said maybe we can use condom, however, the next time I fuck her with the condom on she ask me to ditch the condom. Apparently she is used to a real dick with no plastic on top of it. I pretend that I'm going to buy her an electrical vibrator and the things drag on for several weeks until August. Then she said: If you don’t buy that for me I will ask my boyfriend to do so (then presumably her boyfriend would start having sex with her), I said go ask your boyfriend to buy and tell him you had been cheating on him for two weeks, and tell all your other boyfriends what you have been doing behind their back with me. She is very mad and said her father is sick and would stay home for the coming week then she is not available for sex. Then after that week she said the same thing to me and I said I am not happy when I am passionately in love with her but can’t see my lover for two week, while she keeps dating guys and sees them once a week. She asked me to wait until September because she had to catch up with her homework assignments for summer holiday, and apparently she is having the fun of her life with me and forgetting all the holiday assignments. So if you don’t want to have sex with me then I could be there just talking to you? No (she can’t resist that temptation to fuck when I am nearby). I won’t have a girlfriend that I can’t see for a week, are you afraid of being in love with me and you can’t detach from me? I just don’t want to have sex any more, can we be normal friends? I said: You can’t go backward since I took your virginity, that is childish and immature. No, no, no! Then I said: You are no longer my girlfriend if you don’t comply with all my requests, then the MASTER’s dick would go to submit some girl else. ‘Go ahead and fuck all other girls, we are through.’ ‘You don’t mind me exposing you for who you are and what you did with me to your friends?’ Then she disconnected me from all her virtual social network accounts. 

I am betting on other boyfriends she had would not be able to satisfy her completely. Although she is really easy to be aroused, but every time we fuck it took at least half hour or more to make her cum. And the chances are likely her young boyfriend would cum in the first sight of seeing her naked, or when she starts sucking his dick. Therefore I am assured that her reproductive instinct would bring her back, no girls would ever run away from a guy that gives her orgasm after ograsm after ograsm; she just needs a very good excuse to cheat with me on another boyfriend. So I would email her occasionally to ask if she is having a fucking good day. Half a year after she broke up with me, I received an SMS from her current boyfriend saying I am sexually harnessing his girlfriend. I took the hint and emailed her with the title: So, you want your boyfriend to know about all our romantic liaisons? She then replied: No, my boyfriend accidentally browsed through things in my smartphone and he discovered our conservation. On what terms would you keep those secrets from him? Ah, aha; that is the purse all over again, I replied: Tomorrow afternoon 3:30 at the public toilet of this building very close to your school, you would have to perform orally, annally and vaginally to satisify me for at least three hours. ‘No, my parents would notice that I am not home.’ ‘So you want your parents to know you are a fucking slut suck all cum and swallow them in both of your holes?’ ‘No.’ ‘Do exactly according to my wish: SLAVE. Go masturbate now or I will send him your naked photos. I want you to take off your underwear and masturbate without fingering the vagina inside all night long. Tell me your results tomorrow.’ Then next day I fuck this girl from a prestigious all-girls Catholic school in a public toilet compartment with people coming in and out in other compartments, I cummed in all three holes of her three times for almost three hours then I call a taxi for her. Somehow her body understands this is a rush of time so no foreplay is needed. Her blowjob skills are considerably improved and she can make me cum in ten minutes. She later made up an excuse to her parents saying there is a problem that suddenly came up in one of her school projects which has to be discussed and fixed with her classmate, and they won’t be available in other days. If she fails that project then she may not pass that subject in that academia year. That night she sent me an email: I have done your bidding would you please delete everything you have on me? No, and I also record the sound we made when we are enjoying ourselves in that toilet compartment, would you like me to show it to him? And your sex skills are not completely satisfactory: I would only do so if I cum in you womb as much as I want in one fucking day and night of at least twenty-four hours. You knew I can’t do that and my parents would start searching for me everywhere. Then tomorrow see me in the same place at the same time, tell your parents this project would require two weeks to complete. What happened to me after two weeks? Make a new excuse that lasts for a week. Then after that week? Yet another excuse, making excuses is one of your best talents. When would you stop blackmailing me to sex? Confess that you are in love with me, and you want to be your girlfriend and want to marry me. No way. Then do what you are best at: SEX SLAVE, you do enjoy being sex slave; you cum five times yesterday. Don’t you? Yes, I do. See, don’t make your master mad or all your classmates/facebook friends/your parents would receive photos of your lovemaking with me, or I may just place them in my FaceBook. I will FUCK all I want until I get tired of your holes. You are in no position to negotiate, do you UNDERSTAND? Go masturbate in your bathroom now with your school uniform on.      

She compiled and I fucked her until she reached F.7 in lesser and lesser frequencies when I am also busy with other girls and projects. I no longer limit our fucking in public toilets, I fuck her in the public library, I fuck her in the stairs of shopping mall, I fuck her in the bridge, I fuck her in piano shop’s toilet, I fuck her when she is playing a flute in her mouth, and I fuck her in school (boys) toilet, I fuck her in the computer room, I fuck her in a restaurant when she is under the table and finally fuck her in her bed for two days and two night when her parents go to Shenzhen for almost three days. It is of course her to clean up the mess after we fuck. It was she wanting to be my girlfriend/wife afterward during those two days but I rejected her, and I said: I have asked you more than twenty times but you reject me every single time. Now, there is no chance for me to see Nicole. She has a bigger boob, and she is more intelligent and hardworking, and most importantly she submit to me willingly without the need of me blackmailing her with any evidence. She sucks and swallows all my sperms the first time I see her. Now if you want to keep your place, maybe you should bring your friend in this photo and we have a 4P sex party. Do you want to be my girlfriend or not?

[horse-girl-anthy]

RGU Commentary and Interviews

There’s a lot of great material from the creators of RGU, but it can be hard to know where to start. To make finding things easier, I’ve created a guide to the most interesting creator interviews and commentaries. Huge thanks to Empty Movement and all translators who’ve worked on these pieces over the years!

Ikuhara video interview from the final boxset

A classic interview that many people have seen. Ikuhara discusses Anthy, the Shadow Girls, and his hopes for the series’s entertainment value. He ends on what message he wanted RGU to send and how Utena’s character embodies values he cherishes. A great start for getting into creator materials.

Utena (Oh My!) UTENA

This is a special entry on this list. Originally released while the final arc was airing, it is a compilation of art, comics, and commentary from the RGU creators. Thumbing through it, you get a sense of each contributor’s tastes and personalities. The 52-page piece ends with a very insightful interview from Enokido, RGU’s lead writer.

Ikuhara and Saito episode commentary: 37, 38, and 39

These commentaries were included in a no-longer-available English release of RGU. Ikuhara and Saito’s talk ranges from serious discussion of themes, behind-the-scenes development, and silly conversation between friends. You really get a feel for their relationship in these. 

Enokido Privacy Files

Nearly lost to the ages, these are writings by Enokido that focus on Touga, Juri, and Akio. Provides major insights into Touga’s character that were only briefly touched on in the film. A must-read in my opinion!

Disturbing, Traversing, Borderless, Shaking Sexuality: The Place where Revolutionary Girl Utena was Born

Absolutely stellar interview between Ikuhara and art critic Mari Kotani. The translation work is superb, with many links and pictures providing cultural background. This interview was published in an academic journal published by Musashino University. Ikuhara and Kotani discuss a wide range of topics surrounding gender, sexuality, and society. This piece has had a massive impact on how I approach Ikuhara works and gave me a new vocabulary around subversive art. 

Be-Papas Interview

This entry, an interview with Ikuhara, Enokido, and character designer  Hasegawa, is far less serious than others on the list. It was published while RGU was still airing and mostly features the Be-Papas members joking around and refusing to give straight answers. The reason I included it is that I think it gives you a picture of the strong collegial spirit that went into RGU. You get a sense that these men share common values and truly appreciate working with each other. Without an atmosphere like that, RGU would never have been made.

Japanese Laserdisc Episode Notes

Easily missed, these notes are tucked away on Empty Movement’s Other Contributors page. It is unclear who wrote them--perhaps a mix of different staff members. There are notes for episodes 17 through 36. Much of the focus is on the production; for instance, which member of the team was responsible for which element of the show. However, there’s also lots of hints about the intended meaning of various symbols, motifs, and character beats. Particularly interesting to me are the explanations regarding character and episode names. 

Mamoru Hosoda Interview

After serving as a storyboard artist on RGU, Hosoda went on to direct films of his own such as Wolf Children and Summer Wars. Here he is talking about the character he was most responsible for bringing to life: Juri. This interview helped me parse out what the meaning of “miracles” is in RGU and the importance of the Ruka/Juri/Shiori triangle. There has been controversy over this interview, so I invite people to read and see what you think for yourself.

2001 video interview with Ikuhara

This interview took place at the Big Apple Anime Fest in the US. Though fairly short, Ikuhara demonstrates his trademark humor and personality. The main reason I included this one is that Ikuhara addresses the use of queerness/lesbianism in his works in a very thoughtful manner. 

Ikuhara Audio Commentary: Adolescence of Utena

A transcription of an audio commentary that was released along with the movie. This one especially focuses on the aesthetics, but Ikuhara also discusses some of his views and how he expresses them in his art. If you’re interested in the production side of RGU, I would check this out.

Interview with Igarashi Takuya

Igarashi Takuya was a director, script writer, and storyboard artist for RGU. He appears to be a particular fan of Saionji and discusses his character in depth. Additionally, the interview goes into aesthetic choices, the show versus the film, and what it takes to be a duelist. Interesting insights from someone who wasn’t a part of Be-Papas.

Utena 2011 Boxset Booklet Commentary and Ikuhara Episode Commentary

An absolutely MASSIVE amount of commentary from the creators, primarily Ikuhara. The first link leads to some of Ikuhara’s episode commentary, staff thoughts, the laserdisc liner notes, and other fun extras, including thoughts from composer J.A. Seazer. The second link contains all of Ikuhara’s episode commentary. Great both for people interested in RGU’s themes and its production.

Eulogy for the Fool - Ikuhara Kunihiko and Ohtsuki Kana Discussion

This interview is between Ikuhara and artist Ohtsuki Kana. An interesting entry because it was released in 2017, the latest piece on this list. Because of this, Ikuhara’s works Penguindrum and Yurikuma are also discussed. It’s essential reading on RGU’s legacy and Ikuhara’s storytelling/character writing preferences.

Enokido Yoji Interview: The Reality of This World Is Called Anthy

Stellar interview with Enokido, mostly focused on Anthy and her position in the narrative. It informs how I understand Anthy greatly. Also goes into deeper themes of RGU surrounding reality, ideals, and personas.

Ikuhara Kunihiko & Takemiya Keiko - Utena interview JUNE 1998

For the final entry on this list, I’m including Ikuhara’s discussion with Takemiya Keiko, a highly influential mangaka whose works span many genres. Not only do the two touch on RGU, but also some of Takemiya’s works. The interview contains a great deal of humor, with Ikuhara elaborating on what “prince” and “princess” mean to him. 

#revolutionary girl utena #rgu #commentary