#i hate drawing myself but anything for the bit

[bogkeep]

grousing about ai art stuff

every time i open twitter (my mistake) there's a new thread on how to spot ai art or ai photos by finding all the mistakes in it, and like obviously this is useful and it's good to watch out because they kEEP SHOWING UP EVERYWHERE AHHH HELL WORLD HELL WORLD, but it's also a little depressing that we're training ourselves to nitpick all kinds of details within a piece of art.

like even before the artifically generated image boom randos on twitter would reply to fully finished illustrations with the most asinine unsolicited advice possible. art's gonna be flawed sometimes! i'll draw someone in a weird pose because of vibes! i'll wing a hand! i don't fucking know what a house actually looks like!!! like yes of course the way a human artist creates flawed art is different from the way an algorithm doesn't actually know what anything looks like because it has no mind. it doesn't know shit. so it's not that it's UNRELIABLE but it's like. it's like... i've been telling myself and others every time i'm struggling to make something look Just Right that actually nobody i going to be staring as hard at my art as i am while making it. if i don't point it out people aren't likely to notice unless they are going through it with a fine toothed comb BUT NOW WE ARE DOING THAT APPARENTLY. WHICH IS ANYONE'S PEROGATIVE AND FAIR ENOUGH! PEOPLE CAN LOOK AT MY ART HOWEVER THEY WANT IT'S FINE

but it's ALSO so depressing to consider having to analyse every single piece of art you come across like that my goddddddd i just wanna enjoy it!! i wanna enjoy art!!!! i mean the main reason i finally stopped going on twitter regularly was during the NFT boom and i got so tired of having to vet every single artist i came across to make sure i wasnt retweeting nft stuff. like that really ruined my previously enjoyable experience of LOOKING AT NICE ART ON MY FEED WITHOUT PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE.

god another thing that happened during the dark nft times was how certain art styles tended to be nfts. and i don't mean the ugly apes and stuff, like of course there's those, but there were a lot of artists who sold their souls to crypto and there was just a certain Vibe to a lot of those styles. like i got a sixth sense for it, i would see a piece of art by an unknown artists and when i checked - yep, that was a crypto guy now. and you know what!!!! i hated that!!!! i hate that it ruined entire art styles for me!! AND NOW ARTIFICIALLY GENERATED IMAGES ARE DOING THE SAME!!!!! like what tends to tip me off is less because i spotted some wonky hand or a weird flap but because the style is a popular one for the ai bros to imitate. you know what i mean right!!!!!! it's kind of how the ai photos look a bit too clean and crisp and smooth in an unsettling way. it just pings the brain a bit.

ULTIMATELY the absolute main method i have for filtering away ai images isn't so much looking for mistakes, but by checking sources. it's the same way i check that i'm not reblogging from reposting accounts Because That's A Thing I Care About Too - if there's no description or the description seems off and i don't recognise the OP, i check the original post/blog to see what's up. if the image gives me a weird vibe, i check where it comes from and who posted it. oftentimes the comments on posts with ai images will point it out - they're not always accurate and there's definitely been times where people are a little too trigger happy to accuse art of being AI... but it can be a good lead or confirm suspicions. on one hand, i don't want to do detective work while im having chill scrolling time, but on the other hand - i already had this habit for other reasons, so it's less disruptive to me than the alternative. it also helps that it's very rare for ai shit to turn up in my tumblr feed. i don't want to keep looking over my shoulder!!

(also for anyone who wants a little bit of optimism in the middle of all this, here's an episode of Better Offline podcast that outlines how it's very unlikely for generative ai to actually get much better. here's the part two also.)

#we live in the stupidest timeline

[idontplaytrack]

Hey, if i don't mind can i request a Janis fic where reader gets jealous of her spending too much time with Cady. It can turn into Smut if u want

Thank you!

Talk Too Much

Janis ‘Imi’ike x insecure fem! reader

Warnings: coarse language, self-loathing, smut— fingering, oral(reader receiving)

Cady and Janis get paired up for a project. Reader doesn’t like feeling what she’s feeling and ends up confronting Janis about it.

Turned out way shorter than I thought it would be😔

The Baby Project. This stupid project that has caused Janis to spend too much time with Cady. Way too much. The teacher decided that the best way to pick partners for it were to draw names out of a box. You got stuck with Aaron. Aaron, of all people. While Janis had to partner up with Cady— for two whole weeks. Not that there was anything wrong with him, but for the past week, seeing Janis even talking to anyone but you as much as she has, left a sour taste in your mouth. You hated that Janis' attention was on the redhead so much.

"You know I wouldn't mind if you wanted me to get Cady to switch with you, right?" Aaron has noticed your odd behaviour.

"No, no. If she likes spending time with her that much, go ahead." You scoffed, "Cady's more likeable than I am, anyway." "y/n, what the hell are you talking about?" He squints, still holding the doll in his arm.

"Mrs Strickland said no swaps, and since they seem to be so chummy, I might as well just give up." "Okay, those are two separate things. One, okay, fine we cannot swap partners for the project. Two, Janis freaking loves you. The whole school can tell- everyone sees it. Right now she's just laughing because their fake baby has a weird eye— it's broken, look at it. This school has barely any budget."

You watched them both sat side by side at the back of the class.

"You know her, she will never do anything to hurt you. They're just doing whatever's needed of the project— to pass this class. Talk to Jan/is about how you're feeling instead of sulking all week like you have been and acting like you're okay when she talks to you."

You wanted to scoff and him again, but he was right. And you just didn’t like that he was right— your mind didn’t like that. What it liked, was fucking things up for you, making you think of the most ridiculous, untrue statements that made you feel like shit.

After this class, was lunch. You walked up to Janis and just put your arm around her waist, “Hi.”

“Hi, baby.” She presses a quick kiss to your cheek.

“I need to talk to you.” You answered.

“Okay.” She says, allowing you to lead her away to somewhere private. You practically dragged her all around school, she tries to keep up with your pace and you eventually locked yourselves in the janitor’s closet. “So…I’ve been a little jealous of you spending more time with Cady.” You started.

Janis looked at you, her brows raised as she smirked, “Jealous? Oh, boy am I glad you can be honest and tell me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means…I’m glad you’re opening up to me. Though, I’m just trying to work properly with her so I can pass the class instead of flunking. i never meant to upset you, I’m sorry about that. How are things with your baby project? Aaron isn’t just making you do everything, is he?”

“Seeing as he has the doll right now, no. He’s been fine to work with- other than you and Damian, he’s probably the next best project partner.” You told her, “See, I know for a fact that you’re just trying to do a good job on the project. It’s not like you’re randomly just spending a bit more time with Cady for no reason. But I just…y’know, think of crap that isn’t true sometimes and make myself feel shitty. It automatically makes me think that you like her better than you like me, you like spending time with her than with me, that you’d fall out of love with me and fall in love with her. God, I talk too much. Just a load of bulls—”

You were rambling.

Janis shook her head, “Don’t ever force yourself to not feel things. Feel those feelings, work through them, let them pass- but don’t shove it down. Talk to me, write it down. Never keep it to yourself. I’m here.”

Her hand rests on your hip as her other hand brushes the hair out of your face. “Kiss me.” You requested breathily. She gave a small shrug and pulled you in to kiss you. Your tongue flicked at her lips in a silent ask for permission. The kiss deepens quickly and turned into a handsy make-out session. You were acting like a touch-starved, needy person. Whining into the kiss when she bit down onto your lip, Janis laughs teasingly.

“Want me to keep going?” She asks cheekily, hand roaming your ass.

“Yes.” You nodded impatiently, “Yes, please. I want you to fuck me and make me feel good.”

“Oh~” Janis teased, running a finger up your side, “Okay, princess. I’ll make you feel good.” Janis slips your leggings off in one swift gesture, hand cupping the mound making you yelp. Janis chuckles, looking down at her hand on your cunt, “God, you’re so wet.” She runs her middle finger up from your entrance to your clit, where it stayed, teasing it in slow circles which left the tiny bundle of nerves yearning for more. You whined, unable to keep your desire unheard. She captures your lips to shut you up as her fingers skilfully spread your lower lips and pushed into your tightness. She groans lowly at the feeling, “Fuck, you feel so good, y/n.”

That compliment gave you butterflies and had you dripping. Janis smirked into the kiss, caressing your cheek with her left hand as her right hand fucked you like there was no tomorrow. She went pretty fast, but it was just the pace you preferred in a quickie situation. You kept whining, the lewd noise began to fill the tiny space. “You want people to hear you, baby?” She purred into your ear, “Want to let them know you’re mine? How good I’m making you feel right now?”

A strained noise gets caught in your throat when her thumb pressed flat against your clit. She gave you no chance to detach your lips from hers, even when you had to cry out. It felt like torture, but it also made you more aroused, grinding against her hand in sync - with its movements.

“Damn. Am I fucking you or are you fucking my hand, baby.” Her teeth tugs on your reddened lip as she asks, allowing herself to see your face.

“I don’t care, just make me come.” You panted, grabbing her face and reconnecting your lips.

“I will, honey.” She promised, adding a third finger which slid inside without resistance. You moaned into her mouth, knees buckling feeling the stretch and her assaulting your inner sensitive spot repeatedly. Letting out a muffled high-pitched whine, your hand fell lazily on her shoulder, nails grazing her clothed upper back. “Fuck.” You whimpered, “Fuck— gonna come— Ah~” That exclamation at the end came out as high-pitched as it could, making Janis give you an almost perverted grin as she slams her fingers into you.

Her hands squeezed your breast as you began clenching around her fingers, breath coming out in short pants. The whining, it doesn’t stop. So do Janis’ fingers and hand, efficiently coaxing an orgasm out of you. You buried your face in her shoulder to muffle your noises while you came, arm around her upper back for support. “Yeah, baby.” She chuckles, pressing a kiss to the crook of your neck, “Such a good girl, aren’t you? Coming for me just like that…I wish you could see how pretty you look right now, y/n.”

Her hands held you on either side as she squatted then kneeled down before you, spreading you open. “What—”

“Cleaning you up, of course.” She stated in a tone completely opposite to her intentions, making you feel the flutter in your core. Janis gently licked you clean, but it quickly went in the opposite direction. Sinfully quickly.

“Okay.” Janis chuckles, breath fanning against your heat, “Looks like you’re all I’m having for lunch today.”

“Fuck you.” You grunted, bucking your hips against her face.

She grabs your thighs, “Yeah, go ahead babe. After class, I’m all yours to have tonight. And all weekend.”

————

🏷️ Tag list!

@ashecampos @cheesysoup-arlo @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

#auli’i cravalho #reader insert #x reader #female reader #wlw #queer #lgbtqia #lesbian #janis 'imi'ke x fem reader #janis ‘imi’ike #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #fanfiction #mean girls 2024 #mgmm fics #drabble #requested fic

[personishfive]

in which: april 1st special

#my art #comics #p5 #goro akechi #i hate drawing myself but anything for the bit #inspired of course by classic april fools askblog special events lol #i'm not gonna make a big fuss but if you send in an ask for a limited time it'll come with an akechi doodle gomic. #you know. in the spirit of things #it's not april 1st quite yet where i am. but don't worry about these things <3 #i'll just rb this again tmrw i guess lolol #april fools 2024

[blaiddraws]

been wildly ping-ponging between projects and not finishing any of them. but finally. finished a worm thing. it doesn’t help that it ended up being so long. ignore any pacing issues (this is an command). you'll wanna click through

honestly it still feels like it’s got problems but i just want to stop thinking about it now

(this occurs Before it becomes semi-public knowledge that subway boss ingo is. a worm now.)

#i have a very high standard for myself for. characterization #and some bits of this just feel a little. bit. like i could do better #but whatever I'm not perfect o7 at least i got it done #reporter lady and cameraman are just two random characters i made up on the spot for the sake of this comic #they have no real relevance #pokemon #submas au #ghost worm au #ghost worm ingo #subway boss emmet #submas #for the record I'm not saying i hate this or anything #I'm just saying. it is not to my standards #ANYWAY. #This was kind of an excuse to draw protective worm #and also worm hugs #(also. he's. hm. ingo is still very much as aware and intelligent as he's always been #but living as an animal for decades. centuries? depending on your timeline? and living with those animal instincts #he's accepted them basically. and also. he's not more 'impulsive'. but he has less inhibitions.)

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[prick-love-for-arting]

... Mhm

#haikyuu!! #fan art #sketch #yahaba shigeru #traditional art #haikyuu art #vent art #idk if it actually is but its there in case people dont want to see that kind of stuff #anyway im going to rambling about projecting for a bit because im not feeling so hot rn #1 its low self esteem hours for... reasons I'd rather not disclose because i dont need others feeling bad about it anyway blah blah blah #constant feelings of being undesirable and like im not valuable for just myself throwing that onto Yahaba and his relationship to oikawa #2 i feel very guilty about the way I'm feeling atm because other people are very happy and i just feel like im making things about me being #sad if i say anything to those involved #3 i hate asking for attention and feeling like I'm going out of my way trying to get it when everyone else seems like it just fucking #happens to them instead of searching for it #man maybe getting bullied in middle school did have a lasting impact on me #drawing my boy crying keeps me from crying!! #screaming and crying and whatever else goes with it #anyway... #mutuals please dont ask me about this i just needed to throw it out into the void

[mimocrocodilelol]

Very lazy mutant mayhem Donnie sketch

#my art #imadesomething #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem donnie #art #very sorry for not being active #i won't be able to post anything in this and next month #fucking exams #you have no idea #how much i hate this fucking exams time and myself #for not being able to study properly nor draw #i... iam tired #but anyway #hope you won't miss me very much #sorry for venting a bit in the tags above

[c1nn4-bunny]

Woagh what? Biblically accurate Cecil?

Hello Jon. Apologies for the deception: I'm not actually a rabbit/deer void thing.

Doing a teeny tiny little... thing (not really a study, just a test) on. My actual appearance because. Idk, I've been liking it a lot more recently. (<- got called sir on the bus twice today. felt good.)

Also yes that IS meant to be a wolf shirt, I bought it when I was 13 okay, let a tboy live— (the fact it still fits is proof I haven't grown at all)

And now for the list of every character/person my girlfriend says my average white boy ass looks like /hj

Secondary piece for reference

Cashew (Blush Blush): Yeah I can't deny this one. I'm a standard average sized blondish-brunette white boy, it's unfortunately uncanny... and also the college thing too I guess.

Kim (Omori): ... I don't get this one. I really don't. Maybe hoodie era? Otherwise it's just the glasses.

Wheatley (Portal): No Comment.

Martin (TMA): But I apparently also sound like Jon? [confused cryptid radio show host noises]

Whatever THESE mean

No seriously what do these mean—

Mari wants me to add this one: "you look like a youth pastor."

anyway feel free to add onto this list (/J)

#c1nn4bunny.png #i have no tags to add to this since its just. me #not even my sona just me. #absolutely earth shattering that im NOT an shapeshifting void roseboy irl right? sorry u _ u #my hair is sunbleached so uh. thats why its darker towards the roots #havent died it in a while. #last time was entirely blue ... the dark ages /j #on a note: drawing my gap has honestly made me a lot more comfortable with it #its not like I hated it. i was entirely neutral and if anything annoyed at people trying to get me to do cosmetic procedures to 'fix' it #(spoiler: they wouldn't anyway) but like. normalising it for myself. its cute and adds a bit of uniqueness to me I think. :] #already draw my random scars and specific darker freckles so why not the gap too y'know? #helps to feel comfier in my own skin :3 #also this was colour picked EXACTLY from a pic I took of myself specifically for this. same pose too. #anyway back to drawing myself as a silly bunny thang in every other context specificallyselfshippingiamsosorrymybrainisinfestedrn #lmao wait also elaborating on the 'looks constantly worried' point #I was on the bus a month ago and this guy asked if I was alright. I apparently look constantly on the verge of a panic attack. wonderful. #rbf? no no. i have rff (resting fear face) #there's one other guy I could add a 'oh shit I kinda look like him oh no thats awkward' to but I'd have to change the image for wheatley— #*dyed. im. tired okay

[bokettochild]

Greetings mortal.

I would like to request that you feed us more Hyrule and Wars.

While you are hopefully at it, Wars can join Time and Twilight and lose the shirt.

Please.

A lot please.

And thanks you.

Buh bye.

Hyrule stuff is in the works (I have a whole fic/comic in the works, even if it's just starting to be scripted) but I can oblige with shirtless Warriors!

By ways of an explanation, I was trying to figure out a reason for him to be shirtless, because everything needs a good reason or my brain won't process it, and I decided to draw him swimming with the others. But then when I was drawing it, I realized that I had a lot of empty space left in the picture and decided I'd add someone behind him, like helping him wash his hair or something (since Wars deserves to be pampered and taken care of by the others). then I realized I can't draw bubbled for the life of me, and then one thing led to another and I ended up deciding warriors could just rest in a hot tub and get a message or something, and well....

Yeah, I've already pinned Legend as the group masseuse in my fics, so I guess he's here too. The point was to give you shirtless Wars, but I guess we got a bonding moment and some Warriors pampering instead.

i'm kinda sorry? It looks a bit weird but you've been waiting a long time so.....

I'm sorry it's so weird! My brain does weird things when I don't keep it in check!

*goes and hides in shame to draw Twilight and Four to make myself feel better*

#i hate myself #this.... #why did i make this? #is it as weird as it feels? #it feels weird #they should get to bond but this isn't anything like the request #you can just see Wars' abs is all #and his forehead #I liked that bit #that was fun #he looks good with his hair back (i love him with it down too no worries) #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu warriors #lu legend #asks and answers #idiot can't draw #ketto's drawing misadventures

[plugnuts]

I must be a masochist or smth with the designs I’ve come up with for these digital boys

#bits of banter #not even. kidding #for hours now I’ve just been sitting. drawing on my phone trying to get these two (profile and digital/program) consistent #with both their original designs and how I’ve designed them myself #GOD ITS SO HARD #I must hate myself #if I were drawing on anything other than a phone then I bet this’d be easier but no #it’s just me and Saturn (my phone) against the world huh #I PUT. HOODIES. ON THEM FOR A REASON. AND YET?? STILL HARD

[noxtivagus]

dfhaskdfjsdkf good day 😭

#🌙.vents #i don't remember sleeping this long i think i woke up 12 then 2 then #5. i wld've slept for longer if i didn't force myself to get up n i think the milk tea helped wake me a bit #i'm so.. #the burden of my regrets r so suffocating. there are times i can't see anything else when i'm drowning in them. #if such trivial failures affect me this much then how tf will i survive in this cruel world? #i know i'll always find my way but i wonder the lengths of what i sacrifice. of what i deny and destroy within myself #& of how it'll affect me in the unforeseeable future. of what more loss and pain it'll bring in this world #compared to before i don't often put up a mask anymore. even if it's painful i choose to be authentic. i've improved in that sense #but it's not enough. perhaps i'm simply too harsh on myself; forgetting i am human and that i falter too. i'm not perfect n i shouldn't be. #even with my shortcomings there r ppl that stay. that say thank you. and. yeah. yeah.. that should be proof enough of real reciprocation #but. #i don't know am i really just so afraid of being forgotten? left behind? thinking of it n i used to write of that fear often back then #opening up to 'friends'. being told i was loved. that i would always have my place here #this is pathetic i grew up relying too much on success for my worth. i know i'm so much more but #i placed this on myself. this is the ocean i chose to drown myself in. so when i falter in the only thing i grew up being good that #bcs it hurts yk i used to draw. i painted a lot as a kid but what happened to that passion? #i used to write. a lot. but these past few years.. i don't know what's wrong with me. why it's so hard to do that again #piano. if i continued i would have.. i really had the potential to be. good. i mean i #i've never been a genius i've honestly always hated being called that. i know i've always been naturally smart but. #my hard-work carried me further. and i'm not.. smart enough or good enough to be a genius. never have been. #hollow compliments. before hs it was like everyone really just knew me for my brain. nothing of the way i wrote or my passions. just smarts #so now i'm just a shadow; a ghost of who i used to be. in that aspect at least. but. now w my other strengths they've been faltering too #i'm sorry i should've been better i should do more i know i can. but maybe i. i've always overestimated myself #i think when i was around 6-8 before grade school i can't really remember anymore but there was this competition i think #i would've gotten second if i didn't hesitate. if i didn't fucking hesitate. n i think that always stuck with me #bcs i was really quite the timid shy kid. even though i was older i wld be the one following apollo.. i'm sorry. they deserve more than me #bulbel is making me cry bye wtf

[mementoasts]

oouughgh i'm suffering so many ideas can't draw anything oouguugughhgh

#the void screaming #the number of times i've opened csp today; did a 5 minute sketch; closed csp; and reopened it to do another sketch dfjhfdsjkdjsdh #IM TRYING TOO HARD I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DRAW TO BE PRODUCTIVE but also i just rly wanna draw anyway grrrrrrrrr #the thing w/ being unable to perceive time is that it feels like it's been over a week since i last drew anything. which is just false LOL #so my brain is always like brrrrrrrrrr you need to do smthn you haven't done anything this month YES I HAVE BE QUIETTTTTT #brainrot these past few weeks has been insane i keep wanting to write/draw the emos (and mine) #i keep side eyeing my huge charms file sdfghjkjh yeah i could maybe draw a cheeb rn but. *looks up with eyes glowing red* i don't want to. #another funny thing about no time perception lately is that i can force myself outta art block in like. a few days #bc i'm perpetually like OKKKK YOU NEED TO DO ART IT'S ALL YOU'RE GOOD FOR CHOP CHOP YOU'VE HAD A LONG ENOUGH BREAK #i need to go outside or smthn afhjds but nowhere to go nothin to do can't drive no friends :( get me outta butt ass nowhere for a bit man!! #i wanna GO somewhere with PLACES and get my head outta the clouds for a day 😭😭😭 i hate it here sometimes #ANYWAY no im just gonna go gamin and try to not touch my tablet for the rest of the night #that's it that's my big rant in the tags thank u for reading my screams :)

[d0d0-b0i]

(manifesting) im gonna post art soon instead of illnessposting live i am simply rn being the sickest mf out there B) (<-- did nothing but sleep or lay awake pondering nothing these past two days)

#also ik ik i dont owe anyone anything this is more of a summoning for myself #i havent drawn anything properly in three days and my hands want me to die #only doodles n such and i just wanna DRAW but i have been paranoid and feeling like death is trying to claim me #and now that im a bit more coherent idek where to start ;w; #dunno if this is covid or nah but man it is a nasty little bitch..! #feeling better tho tis just my throat now that hates me and my nostrils wanting to cry #also the lower rib pain but weve all had that ukno huffaw

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Wrist hurts, can't sleep, stressed out, so I actually braved the Ironwood tag and found some cute art. We interrupt your regularly scheduled (well, queued) karate nonsense content for some of that nonsense instead

#it's just been wall to wall karate kid and cobra kai posting around here lately huh? #i scrolled my own blog earlier and there's even less variation than usual #it's mainly just my queue though and i've slowed it down again #but l always get a bit freaked out when my wrist pain flares up #because it stops me from drawing or doing basically anything productive #and that activates aaaall the money worries #(that's why i've been so talkative today i'm beating back the stress with a stick made of distractions) #so we're having Ironwood Hours around here for a bit #but boy howdy has that fandom apparently gotten even less hospitable in the last year #i've always avoided it because of the incessant ironwood hate #but it looks like that's gotten worse! fun! ugh #but i braved it long enough to find cute fanart and now i'm retreating back to my corner of mostly talking to myself #personal stuff

[unknowablecore]

drove almost 2 hours out of the blue listening to my dad's old Jethro Tull cd to sit in the mountains and touch a tree.

#chatter #got a last minute hotel to stay tonight lol #somewhat personal vent in the tags but not rly bcs i hate sharing a lot online #september and october are always rough for me and this year has stayed true to that theme #literally this was when i was considering remaking socials last year after being off them for awhile bcs i missed sharing fanart and stuff #sometimes I feel like I need to be away from everything all the time like I'm not made for anywhere cue feelings about greywaren #small part of me is hesitant to share any post-greywaren hcs though im just to sentimental and soft about adam and ronan es and esp esp ada #deflecting by blabbing about greywaren in the tags #im literally going to write fanfic and draw just for myself a bit sorry #i will get public greywaren art out soon #she loves sharing but she hates giving away anything that feels a little to close to her heart #jesus shut me up #feels good to grit out the bare minimum online haven't done it in years

[luvsavos]

life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)

#mar.txt #vent? i guess? #again:girlhelp: #i need $120.25 still and of course i didnt get a job in time because why would things go my way and even if i do a bunch around the house #the money is due the day before my dad gets paid so that won't work #im panicking sort of to the point of being kind of nauseous from it haha #turning to art comms from my friends out of desperation but i don't think i'll get enough to cover the last bit of cost #not to mention the issue of my phone absolutely fucking sucks ass so i can't do digital art until i get a new one so any comms i DO have/get #will have to wait until i get a new phone for me to finish them and i know that's kind of A Problem which is why i'm only asking close #friends who i know won't be bothered by the idea of paying upfront then having to wait a little while for the finished product #though at least i can get the paper basic sketch done，since i draw the basic thing on paper then do more detail and whatnot digitally #idk if any of my moots wouldn't be bothered by that. i can promise i will get the full things done once i get a new phone. i'm just really #fucking desperate rn lmao god i fucking hate everything #i need to just. stop letting myself feel the emotion of excitement over Anything in the future. because when i do it always，ALWAYS goes #wrong. youd think id learn by now but no apparently im just too fucking stupid to #anyways. ill draw humanoids and i can try my absolute damndest at mh monsters even though i kind of struggle with anything but malzeno #practice makes perfect right? hahahahahaaa. fuck me. #not to be concerning on main but if this were me a few years ago i think at this point i'd be genuinely considering offing myself because i #am SO fucking tired of literally everything possible going wrong and even the things that are SUPPOSED to bring me some comfort or happiness #among the ocean of everything else ALSO going wrong #obviously the more money that could be tossed my way the better but hell i'll even do just paper sketch comms for a lower price i am #genuinely desperate because i really REALLY just want this ONE fucking thing to go right for me. god. just One thing. #alternatively if anyone wants to just. Give Me money. idk id feel bad about getting money without giving something in return but if anyone #WANTS to do that theyre free to as well. idk just dm me for my paypal if that or a shitty probably time-delayed comm sounds like smthn youd #be interested in??? even tho who am i kidding lmfao nobody will，that would be too good and i'm obviously just not fucking allowed to have #good things huh #ugh. sorry for the vent post Again. i swear we'll return to the usually scheduled funnyman stuff and ocposting. eventually. :/