#i have a maximum 5 or 6 hours before i have to start watching the baby lmao

[dxncingwithastrxnger]

I woke up at 2:30am after barely 3 hours of very restless sleep and I decided to write to pass the time

It’s now 3:30am and I’ve written about a thousand or more words in the past hour alone, smh

At least it means I’m really invested in the story, though. It’s gonna be looonnggggg, at the very minimum 4k+ words, lmao

#am so tired #and i have to babysit tomorrow again #but #i can't sleep #not surprising though #i can never really get very good sleep while i'm at my uncles #especially when my little brother is here with me #i have to share a bed with him and he is an awful person to have to share a bed with most of the time #but even when it's just me here #i just can't sleep very well here for some reason #like ever #so yeah #who knows how much longer i'll be up #i have a maximum 5 or 6 hours before i have to start watching the baby lmao #purple_strxnger

[sleekswosobession]

you don’t have to be perfect

barça fem x teen!reader, lucy bronze x teen!reader

request: here

A/N: also i would just like to say, if anyone has any feedback for my writing it’s greatly appreciated cuz i’m not the best writer ik that but i want to improve.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was apart of the contract I first signed with Barcelona that I continue my studies and finish school. Not ideal, but I get by with around 80% and sitting on a B for most my classes. What I didn’t factor in was the amount of stress I would have on top of the League and UWCL games when exams and assignments from 6 different classes were coming up. That’s hard on a 17 year old.

I felt myself start to drift away from everyone in the 2 weeks before mayhem. First it was denying to go out with the younger girls like Salma and Vicky, both of whom understood. Vicky being the same age as me and Salma only 2 years older than us. Then as expectations rose, classes became longer and filled extra information. All the time I wasn't on the pitch, I was studying. Or sleeping. (we dont talk about how even thats being cut down to maximum 5 hours a night).

Living with Lucy meant that she was bound to catch on to what was happening. It was inevitable. She took me under her wing when I first arrived along with some of the older girls and since I don’t speak Spanish natively, I was told to go with Lucy who was told to keep an eye on me. It’s nice, when you don’t want her to worry about how you’re ignoring everyone and have bags under your eyes whenever she sees you. She really does try her hardest to get me to do anything that’s not over analysing and over-studying the numerous topics, but no matter how much it pains me. I always turn her down.

After another night of studying until 2am, there’s an early morning training session and I know I’ve only gotten 4 hours of sleep. If I told the medical staff I’m sure they’d pale.

I’m aware that I probably look like death walking, but it doesn’t bother me. If I pass with above average grades, I’m happy and I know my actual parents will be too. I ignore the concerned looks that Irene and Alexia give Lucy, and get changed ready for the training session.

It’s gruelling, the lack of sleep from the past 2 weeks has finally started to catch up. When I least needed it to. Maybe I am working too hard. It’s too late for that though. I know I’m being watched by the captains, acting for a little bit longer won’t do much harm. Can it?

When the third water break rolls around, I sit on the floor and flop onto my back, closing my eyes. Too tired in the moment to do anything other than breathe. The sunshine above me dulls as Lucy and Alexia stare down at me. When I open my eyes. My captain has a raised brow, while my roommate has her arms crossed.

“Y/N, get up please. Now.” It’s Lucy who speaks first. I don’t give in. What’s their problem?

“No. I am fine where I am thank you very much.” I bite back. Lucy looks like she’s trying to hold herself together and Alexia looks furious. Unconsciously, I sink into myself hoping the ground could swallow me up.

“Nena, we won’t ask again.” The spaniard says, her voice low as she sticks out her hand.

I reluctantly take it, pulling myself up and staring at the two in front of me.

“Come.” Alexia says blankly, leaving no room for argument before walking toward the main building. I sigh, doing as she says or I know I won’t hear the end of it. Lucy trails just behind me, her jaw set and making sure I don’t run away.

When inside I’m placed on a couch, wishing and praying to any extra-terrestrial being that I can leave this confrontation. What is it even about? Why am I here? I’ve done nothing wrong.

“So, we noticed you’ve been pushing people out. You also look dead.” Classic Alexia, straight to the point.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I look away.

“Really? Because when I go to bed, which is around midnight and sometimes 1 if I’m doing other work. Your light is always on. You better fess up now before we make you do extra laps, and clear all the equipment from training.” It’s Lucy this time, starring daggers into me. Still, I don’t let up.

“Maybe I left the light on.” I shrug. “And why do we have to do this right now? I have 2 exams tomorrow. So, if I may. Let’s finish training so I can get to study and do other things.”

“This is exactly what I’m talking about Y/N. You’re deflecting absolutely everything we say. You’re not taking the information in. I get you’re stressed but that doesn’t mean you isolate yourself.” She pauses, sighing deeply. “We are going home right now. You will not touch your school work, this has gone on for long enough. I know Alexia agrees with me.”

“Before you argue, just think. Is this really the best way I could’ve prepared? Yes nail in, do the study for good results. But also remember to utilise the support system you have, the team, the coaches, take a break.” By the end of the rant I feel tears well in my eyes. I feel someone hug me and I can tell who it is by the obscurely large hands.

“Nena, go home with Lucy. Get some rest, and not only will you feel better but it gives your brain a break. When the week is over we can talk more but for now go.” The Catalan smiles warmly. I nod my head saying thanks before walking with Lucy to the car.

“Do you feel alright? You do look very pale.” She places her hands against my face and frowns. “No temperature. I’ll get some food into you and we’ll have a rest day. Just us.” I nod slowly staring out of the window as my mind races.

When we get to the apartment, no conversation is made and I immediately go and take a shower. It’s there that I cry and let all my frustrations out, the stress finally taking its toll on my mind.

When I’m dressed and ready I walk out to the smell of pancakes and Lucy sitting on the couch with Narla next to her. She hears me and turns her head around, eyebrows furrowing at the state I’m in.

She pats the open spot next to her which isn’t taken by the Westie and hands me a plate, which I accept gratefully.

It’s a comfortable silence, but I know she’s waiting for me to say anything. And this time, I do.

“I’m sorry Luce.” My voice is quiet and more high pitched compared to what it normally sounds like.

She smiles lightly.

“Hey, these things happen. You’re smart, just as Alexia said give your mind a rest and you’ll do better. Myself, Keira, the rest of the team only want the best for you and your well-being. Let’s not talk about this now, take it step by step. You’ll be ok.” I nod wiping freshly formed tears as she pulls me into a big hug, giving the rest of her pancake to Narla who eats it happily.

- - - - -

And ok it would be. I end up playing Fifa with Lucy the rest of the day before eventually falling asleep against her. As for the exams, I pass by with good grades and after everything’s done the team takes me out to a restaurant to celebrate. As much as I deny it, this team is the most important thing to me. I love and adore them all so much.

#woso #woso x reader #woso community #woso fanfics #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona femeni #barca femeni #barca femeni x reader #lucy bronze #lucy bronze x reader #alexia putellas

[rhiaarrow]

With Bad joking about preparing to go live as a hermit if the eggs are gone for a long time it really got me thinking about how important the eggs and their eggy actors have been to him.

Not that they haven't been important to everyone, the eggs are such a huge part of the server but tonights ramble is about Bad.

To the shock of absolutely no one! I'm a Ghostie first and foremost, with a hyperfixation and a penchant for writing novel length rambles. This is just the usual atp :')

Before the Qsmp Bad was not a daily streamer, not even close, just check his vods channel. Hell, even when he joined the QSMP he didn't stream every day of the start of the server. He only streamed one or two days for a handful of hours...but then he got Dapper.

And with him being a single parent Bad had to log on every day to do Dapper's tasks.

(Yes, Q was also a single parent but he had ppl babysit Tilin, also she died within the first 2 weeks of her being around soooo yeah, different circumstance)

Then because Bad was on every single day he took up a position of babysitter for most of the eggs since their parents couldn't be on as frequently.

To begin with it was mostly just Tallulah, she could've been taken care of by Philza but her schedule didn't originally line up with Phil's so it was easier for her to wake up for Bad to do her tasks.

Then Ramon started joining them some nights so he could hang out with Dapper.

Then Bad became closer with the French and started to watch Pomme for them when they logged off for the night since Pomme was a night owl.

Then Vegetta stopped logging in as often and Leo kept barely missing Foolish so Bad started taking care of Leo's tasks when Foolish couldn't and she started spending time with him as well.

Then Richas started hanging out with Dapper and Pomme, so they formed the late night trio and hung out almost every night which eventually became Richas just hanging out with Bad whenever he felt like it.

Then Pepito arrived and since Roier wasn't on as often late last year Pepito would hang out with Bad and Foolish most days.

Then Em immediately decided that Bad was her favorite Uncle and would hang out with him when Bagi went to bed if she wanted to stay up.

When the eggs disappeared, rather than his usual 6-10 hour streams Bad was streaming 3-5 hours because his entire time on the server was usually spent hanging out with the eggs.

I've rambled before about how qBad and Tio Bad are two separate things because Tio Bad isn't rp, it's just ccBad atp but I feel like some people don't realize the extent to which ccBad spends time with the Eggy actors.

Every single stream, from 5-12 hours, he's only ever without an eggy companion for a couple of hours maximum.

I mean there's the probability of each egg just showing up to hang out with Bad at any point in the day,

Obviously you've got these 3;

Dapper, Pomme, Richas - highest probability

Then these 3;

Empanada, Pepito,Tallulah, - high probability

Then these 5;

Ramon, Chunsik, Sunny - low probability

Chayanne, Leo - lowest probability

There is no egg that has never shown up randomly to hang out with their Tio Bad (and yes I am counting the Ghostie streams in this, it was still ccBad so yknow)

ccBad spends so much time with them.

Not counting all the stuff he's done on stream with all the eggs, he has;

built the snowman with Talluladmin and Pommin,

played battleship with Pommin and Ricardão,

worked on create farms with Dappmin,

worked on the signs with Pommin and Ricardão,

built decorations with Empanadmin and Pommin

Just to name a couple of the stuff we know, not even mentioning the nights they just spend together after stream doing nothing important

The server feels especially empty as a Ghostie because ccBad himself is just so used to hanging out with not just the eggs but the eggy actors as well.

His days are usually dictated by what one of the eggs wants to do, not even necessarily his kid.

If an egg wants to go on an adventure to find a particular thing but knows it's rare or could take a while, they know that the easiest thing to do (if they don't want to drag their parents to do it) is probably ask Tio Bad to take them to look for it. Em's done it, Tallulah's done it, Sunny's done it, Pepito's done it, Leo's done it, literally every egg except Chay and Chun.

His ass is always online and always willing to do anything for the eggs, unless it's ridiculously dangerous, then he draws the line.

If that man does go live as a hermit due to everything reminding him of the fact that the eggy actors are temporarily on break I will not be shocked.

ccBad spends so much of his time with them, not just their little eggy characters.

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #badboyhalo #qsmp admins #qsmp meta #qsmp eggs #rhia rambles

[unhingedmarvelandclassicwhobuff]

How long was the Hex up around Westview?

The timeline for the second half of WandaVision is pretty clear:

Episode 4: Monica and Jimmy meet outside the Hex the same day as the missing person’s case was reported. 24 hours after that SWORD sets up camp and they spend that night trying to crack the sitcom puzzle

End of episode 4: Monica is ejected from the Hex at first light

Episode 5: the following day and into that night

Episode 6: the same night

Episode 7: that morning

Episodes 8 and 9: that day, with Wanda collapsing the Hex in the late afternoon

Unless there were more time-skips we weren’t made aware of, this makes perfect sense.

But that doesn’t tell us much about what the timeline is for the first half of the show, and honestly, it leaves me with several questions.

Hayward says in episode 5 that Wanda’s visit to SWORD HQ happened 9 days before, but since everything else in that story he told was a lie I don’t know how much truth there is to that. I question this because if that’s true, then even if Wanda went straight to Westview, how the hell was SWORD able to assemble so many scientists and get there so fast?

According to the MCU Wiki (which again, should be taken with a grain of salt), SWORD Headquarters is in Florida. If Wanda only had her car and wasn’t flying, then that means it must have taken her several days just to get from there to Westview. And after that, how long did it take the FBI to get their missing person case in and contact Hayward to send Monica up there? And after that, how long did it take for Hayward to assemble so many scientists from different fields to bring them there? I don’t actually recall this, but I am told that there was a 24-hour gap between Monica and Jimmy looking at the Hex and SWORD arriving, and honestly, even that is a stretch in my opinion.

Point being, I don’t really think it makes sense for all of that to take place in the span of just 9 days.

So that then begs the question... how long was the Hex up? And perhaps more pertinently, how much of it did the outside world see on the broadcast? The implication I got from episode 4 is that the first three episodes of the show are more or less exactly what Darcy saw, minus the weird stuff. So how much else was there? Were there more “episodes” that we didn’t get to see? Darcy says to Vision that she has been watching the broadcast for “the past week”, so that means it’s been at least 7 days from the time SWORD showed up to Wanda expanding the Hex, and I don’t remember how many days are shown to pass in episode 4, but again, what about before that? If we’re to assume that Darcy discovered the broadcast on the same night that SWORD first set up camp, then that makes the time between that and the end of the episode a maximum of five days. She does say that her instruments picked up a ton of radiation, so if there was that much then she probably did start picking up on the broadcast quickly, so that tracks.

That’s not even getting into White Vision. Hayward says offhandedly that SWORD has taken Vision apart and put him back together “a million times”, and while that is clearly a hyperbole, it still means a lot. I bring this up because from what we are shown in episode 8, it looks to be the very first time they are dissecting him, which doesn’t make sense because while it’s not clear how long they have had him, it was probably for at least a few years. [To be honest I support the theory that Hayward was deliberately putting on a show of Vision’s corpse being desecrated to provoke Wanda, so that might explain this part, but still.]

Look, believe me, I desperately want to believe it wasn’t more than 10 days, but logistically that doesn’t really add up.

I suppose if you think about it logically, the possibility that the Hex was up for longer than we think wouldn’t make Wanda any worse of a person if her level of knowledge is what it seems to be. The only thing that really troubles me about this is the possibility that being under the Hex for that long caused permanent mental scarring on the townspeople.

#wandavision #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff concerns #tyler hayward #sword #monica rambeau #fuck tyler hayward #fuck sword #wandavision critical

[xwhitenoise]

Having now watched all 80ish hours of Fantasy High (excluding one-shots) here is my final ranking of the PCs:

1. Fig. Initially started out with a dire case of Main Character Syndrome but wound up having one of the most meaningful character arcs. Her confession scene with Ayda made my heart race in a way that no actual-play relationship ever has before. Also, her realization at the end that it wasn't her outward persona that Ayda loved, but the REAL Fig, the one she was able to see because her feelings for Ayda made her inner self shine through—aaaaaahhhh

2. Fabian. Does he make a lot of stupid and sort of boring choices for a bit? Yes. But god, everything that happens to him is just so wild. He also has what ultimately turns out to be the most frightening sequence in the Nightmare Forest, because later on they establish canonically that Cassandra wasn't lying about the rat being the only illusion they made, and the fact that Chungle-Down Bim was really there and almost got him at last... genuinely horrifying.

3. Adaine. She has anxiety! She grew up feeling unloved! She gets to kill her dad!! That scene she has near the end with Jawbone, where he tells her she's easy to love, absolutely killed me. Also Siobhan is so clever that she earned maybe the biggest "oh SHIT" moment from Brennan when she tried to use Illusory Script to recreate the transubstantiation spell. Iconic.

4. Gorgug. Love my boy, love how he's at all times operating at Maximum Gorgug, but kinda wish he'd gotten... more... anything lol. They never really gave him an opportunity to develop in any way, which is unfortunate. Also his relationship with Zelda is dull as shit lol

5. Riz. He has one of the most plot-relevant arcs but he gets very little time in the spotlight, so the scene with his dad, while EXTREMELY emotional, isn't super resonant because there wasn't a lot of buildup to it. It doesn't feel Earned. Murph is an extremely competent player tho and I hope he gets more interesting characters in other campaigns.

6. Kristen. Sucks how the one with the most relatable and tragic premise has the worst execution lmao. Some of the best gameplay in this entire campaign happened when Kristen was dead. It's just lucky that they wound up making Fig bi, because otherwise the only queer relationship among the PCs would be this cringe-inducing mistake that's just largely done for laughs. She's ultimately a boring self-insert who gets to be undeservedly important to the plot because it was decided right out the gate that she was a "chosen one." She just. Sucks. And it's too bad because her player is a decent comedian and overall really cunning person, who may have been capable of crafting a compelling and meaningful arc if they'd actually like. Tried. But OH WELL

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #anyway hilda hilda was the funniest scene overall #'they left this at MY HOUSE?' #'your police house' #'the POLICE HOUSE? you mean the PRECINCT?' #'yes. i'm a very old woman i don't know these things'

[belltrigger]

I posted 672 times in 2022

That's 610 more posts than 2021!

187 posts created (28%)

485 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@glassesblu

@dingo-on-a-farm

@allaboardtheblankship

@eyreyereye

@megadraws

I tagged 630 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#blankshipping - 500 posts

#glassesblu - 121 posts

#everybody look! - 93 posts

#submas - 83 posts

#rs submastober - 79 posts

#submastober - 75 posts

#anon ask - 67 posts

#bell fic - 62 posts

#dingo-on-a-farm - 58 posts

#allaboardtheblankship - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i'm gonna go throw my cat at them because a game told me i can fight someone for eye contact (and they also have to give me money when i wi

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Emmet, Emmet. °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

54 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

#4

Trainer Kudari would like to battle!

56 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#3

@tsumisan6v9 said my first Kudari was friend shaped! Here is a Kudari that is threat-shaped to balance out! He has been placed upon The Cube tm for maximum gargoyle lurking.

I have come to the conclusion that it's the collar that makes for the threat. It creates a great threat display.

62 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

#2

I bet Ingo sometimes has some questionable coping mechanisms over in Hisui too. On some days he wakes up and sets the table for two people like it's a habit and if that happens he already knows the day is gonna be hell because he will find himself compelled to do certain things that don't make sense. He holds doors open for people who aren't there, insists on making two cups of tea and all in all his behavior becomes a bit reminiscent of someone being compulsive because he INSISTS he has to do this, he doesn't know why, he has too. It culminates with Akari finding him standing outside his house at night, next to the lantern and just all but staring in the distance. "I can't go to sleep before he comes home." He starts before she can even ask the question. "I always wait until he gets home and leave the light on, he gets worried when he can't see the light from the window, so I always leave it on until he gets home.... I know he's not but-" He stops himself and stays silent until he feels her nudging his shoulder. "... Would it help if I keep watch for a while?" The look on his face tells her that he isn't too keen on the idea, but he nods before heading inside for a night of uneasy rest. Hikari spends about an hour keeping watch , lost in thought, before she finally kills the light when she is sure that Ingo has fallen asleep by now.

Over a hundred years later and a thousand miles away from Hisui , Emmet always keeps the light on before he leaves home.

Anoooonnnnn, you're so right. So right.

He's more than once handed something to empty air, letting go without a second thought, only to stare blankly at whatever it was as it drops to the ground. Some of his pokémon have taken to catching the items or picking them up for him, but even then he still has to take a moment to process the dissonance ricocheting through him.

Anytime someone gives him food, he just smiles softly as he splits it in half, explaining that the last time he didn't share, he was given the cold shoulder for hours. Most people assume he's talking about one of his more sensitive pokémon, but he's never seen giving it to any of them.

Him standing outside as he waits for the someone whose identity he doesn't even fully recall is so sad :(( He tried waiting inside, full of nervous energy as time passed and no one came through the door. He couldn't stop bouncing his foot as he waited, waited, waited. It slowly turned into waiting outside for them at night, so as to relieve the worry of this person who floats at the periphery of his memory. If he went to sleep, would they recognize the house as theirs? How would they know he was there, waiting for them? Akari was reliable, though! She would certainly recognize the person he was waiting for, because he had told her of the smile he remembered. If he could trust anyone for the evening shift, it would be her...

One day, each of them think, the light they leave on will be seen.

66 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love the headcannon that Ingo has really expressive eyes but a non expressive mouth/face while Emmet has a really expressive face and emotes a lot but his eyes don't really show much or any emotion. So what if something like the pandemic happens and they have to wear masks and people keep confusing them for each other whenever they're not wearing their hats/coats cuz "oh. The one that never smiles is Ingo so obviously the one with the sparkle in their eyes is Emmet" BUT NO! It was Ingo all along! Idk just a random thought I got at work

Hello Anon! (｡･∀･)ﾉ

Let's not forget that even though Unova is supposed to be based on New York City, they are still very very much 'Japanese Train Men.' Which means, they are likely to wear face masks whenever they are not feeling well, so we can have this kind of confusion whenever we'd like! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

After a while of wearing the masks, the Twins just forget they have them on. When someone calls Ingo "Emmet," he switches tracks instantly, addressing them the way his younger brother would. He doesn't point out their mistake, even though it just confuses the person even more when later the same day, Emmet is seen wearing a completely different outfit.

Emmet, on the other hand, just tilts his head at the person, with a confused "I am Emmet?" Where Ingo seems to understand the easy mistake -they *are* identical after all- Emmet is surprised every time. To him, it's obvious which one of them is which! His eyes don't light up as wonderfully as Ingo's do when they see something they like. Ingo is so so handsome even with the mask obscuring most of his features.

They get a selection of face masks they wear, which are supposed to be specific to each of them so that people can tell. They each get a bunch of different ones related to their pokémon, one for each with their respective triangles. Ingo gets one with a purrloin mouth on it, because they both think it's cute. Emmet gets one with sharpedo teeth on it for the same reason.

But, sometimes, they'll still grab the wrong mask, and confuse people all over again.

113 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[mcdreamy45]

Six Beliefs on Social Networking for Business

Social media has been around for quite some time now. People have started to browse more on the internet for guidance or research before buying something or starting a project. Because of that, more and more people have started using social media to promote their products or business. The recent growth of social media, or consumer-generated media, has given rise to bidirectional communication between consumers and marketers. Some evidence shows it helps companies' business performance by influencing, for example, product sales, consumer attitudes, and consumer decision-making. This area is constantly changing because we are learning new things daily and beginning to understand how it works and harness its true potential. We have to go with the flow. Otherwise, we will get left behind, and if you are in business or wants to be in business, we can’t afford to stand and watch.

Here, I mapped out people’s beliefs about using social media for business. If you have other more valuable things to share, feel free to comment on this post.

Belief #1: Not all customers are into social media.

This might be true, but in some way, most people, especially your target audience, use social media in their everyday lives. Or even if not all, you can still harness the power of the internet by ensuring you optimize your website to be easily searchable in search engines like Google. This may take some time, but it is doable once you gain momentum.

Belief #2: Social media can’t be measured.

This is not true. Social media is highly measurable. There is a lot of software that we can use, even for free to track our social presence or campaigns. We can even track our website performance, people who visited our sites, etc.

Belief #3: You can’t do-it-all in-house

Like most say, you need to hire experts to make it work. This may be true, but if you are starting your business and don’t have much budget allocated for a great campaign or to get exposure, you can always start small, do-it-yourself. All you have to do is do your research; there are a lot of free software you can use, type the keyword of your industry and study what is popular or what works; try ubersuggest[1]; they offer a wide range of keyword ideas and other important stuff to learn from.

Belief #4: You have to spend hours per day on social media

You do not need to do this. You can always use a social media planner like Planoly[2] to plan your social media posts and campaigns.

Belief #5: Social media can replace your website.

This is not true. Your website and social channels complement each other, especially if your business has a product or service to promote. You can always include your website within the post or campaigns.

Belief #6: you have to be on every social channel.

This is not true unless you already have a team or have hired a firm to handle all your social media. If you are working alone or just starting, 1 to 3 maximum is acceptable. Otherwise, it will be very challenging on your part to manage all your social media channels. Before choosing which social media, make sure you have determined where your target audience is primarily using and focus your business on those social media channels.

   [1] https://neilpatel.com/ubersuggest/?utm_source=ppc&utm_medium=google%20ads&utm_campaign=brand&utm_term=uber%20suggests&utm_campaign=2022%7CQ1%7CSearch%7CABS_TOP_Brand&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=9016992746&hsa_cam=16967631265&hsa_grp=133638292457&hsa_ad=593698074693&hsa_src=g&hsa_tgt=kwd-466983413006&hsa_kw=uber%20suggests&hsa_mt=e&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0f2GmIWQ-QIVowh9Ch1Xow_ZEAAYASAAEgJNyfD_BwE

 [2] https://www.planoly.com/

#social media #business #socialmediamarketing

[dopaminergicaddictions]

The hallucination got to much worse yesterday. I wonder why? I couldn't focus cause I was so tired.. I heard it talking at me during therapy it went from inaudible just i could hear it trying to it was saying full sentences. This is why I always worry about sleeping cause when I talk to someone I can drown it out very easily when I actually slepe even when it's 5 hours of sleep.

I took maximum dose at 5:35 last night and laid down at 6:30. I got up a few times over the night and had to take like 30 to 40 minutes to knock back out but I woke up at 6 am. I am staying up. It fixed my schedule and the hallucination went back to the way it was. Quieter and less distracting and I can focus again. I prob got 7 to 9 hours but it's so segmented with bathroom breaks. That's its somewhere in between.

My will to live went from 2 to like 8. My doctors don't want to increase from 1.0 to 1.5..... I'm having my therapist Erin call in cause of they can just get me to fucking February 21st sleeping every fucking night. I'd need two weeks without weed and I'm going to go back to fucking normal.

I'm requesting a gene test and a hair test for the 22nd... I want to rule out the gene thing... cause I mean tbh.... with the onset. How it visited everyday and went away after I stopped being high it it's so obvious thc... but until i see that I don't have the gene and as long as I hallucinate I'm going to keeo worrying...

I worry that I have the gene but thc started it..... if that's the case I'd wait until the thc drained out and end it if it hasn't left once I get the thc out.. when I sleep regularly and everything it seems to get minorly and I mean minoely better every single day...

I'm worried I won't slept tonight. My doctor is pushing me to see a psychiatrist to take over and percribe a higher dose.... it's making me lose hope cause just push me through the next month and half. It could be done tomorrow or next week or even before the 22nd.... maybe it'll be Feb 10th... but I need to SLEEP EVERY SINGLE DAY. I'm going to take less than maximum dose at 10 tonight and if I'm not sleeping by 12 I'm going to raise it so hopefully I'm our by 2. At least now my 17 hour mark is fucking 10 pm... 10 pm seems like so fucking long from now. I wish I could take it at 8 but I tried 12 hours, I tried 15-`16. I guess my body needs 17 waking hours.

Wish me luck as if Erin can't get them to push it to 1.5... I'm going to have major issues Well before this goes away. Getting in with a psychiatrist is almost impossible and they are going to push fucking antipsychotics and anticholinergics... and prob antidepressants for christ sake. I won't take any of those EVER... and it could be a useless thing to do If they won't increase it.

I'm hoping that after my doctor has another provider in the loop they'll consider it. At least they'll give me 1 for the foreseeable future but I can't scarfice one night of sleep.

I'm not joking yesterday it might as well even been November 15th when I couldn't even watch a movie or talk in therapy without the voice taking away my entire fucking focus... and today it's like wait it's Jan. 12th and It's like it even improved from the day before I didn't sleep...

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW for possible assault, alcohol & drugs, graphic-ish description of what happened. I don't know what happened last saturday? I met this guy through tinder & agreed to meet him in a pub. he brought me a drink but it was too busy to hear each other so he takes me back to his place, gives me another drink and rolls a joint to share. I'm there thinking yes, I'd like to hook up with him, hashtag ho era and all that, and then he starts kissing me. and it's. not great. (1/?) - sunshine anon

It's also kind of rough. But, like, whatever, I've dealt with bad kissers before I guess. At some point he asks if I wanna give him oral and I'm like... a little shaken by the kissing still but I say sure. I start and I'm sort of struggling with it and I say that it's hard for me (i think at this point I was starting to want out of the situation) and he just says it's hot that I'm struggling and does the hair grabbing thing. (2/?)

obvs I'm not doing a great job because I kind of don't wanna be doing it anymore so he asks if I wanna have sex- and at this point I think I say something along the lines of "uh okay I guess" because I'm thinking the sex will be better than the oral/kissing was and hey, i'm in his home, I've had his drinks and alcohol, whatever. So he sort of starts grabbing me and putting me where he wants me- in a position I know is painful for me but I was struggling to make words until (3/?)

He's about to put it in, at that point I kind of snap back into my head and say I brought condoms bc like. If we're gonna do this I wanna be safe about it. So he puts one on, goes back to putting me where he wants me and starts. It immediately hurts too much for me to deal with so I say that, but I can't remember if I said to stop but after a few minutes he takes me over to the couch so I'm on top (4/?)

I give it a go but again it's hurting too much and then it becomes apparent that he just doesn't seem to care. Like I'm visibly in pain and squirming and keep saying it hurts and he's just bouncing me up and down. At some point I think I tell him to stop again instead and he picks me up and carries me to the bedroom and starts again (I'm internally panicking by now). I'm saying it's hurting again so he stops for a maximum of like 10 seconds before saying shall I go again (5/?)

I think at that point I didn't wanna piss him off- and again felt guilty that I'd taken his alcohol and weed and I was starting to feel out of it and dissociated and sort of made the connection of "stop = switch positions" so I nodded while grimacing and he went again. It was still painful but a little less and occasionally felt good but I was still trying to get him to slow down to a comfortable pace and was on the verge of telling him to stop again when he said he was (6/?)

gonna finish so I just kind of rode it out. And then we went back to watching whatever show we were watching. And I was still panicking, so I said I'd leave in half an hour and got dressed (I didn't remember getting undressed??) and got an uber to my friends place where I had a full on panic attack and said something about how I thought I consented just because I didn't want the possibility of him not taking a no. But like... (7/?)

I didn't SAY no i said stop, i said it hurts too much, andc he didn't listen to that. and idk. It's been 2 days and I've been so fucking spaced out on everything and I'm avoiding my friends/housemates in case they ask how the date was and I'm just trying to focus on uni work (which isn't going well). I know in theory I should do some damage control for my grades/job so I've spoken to my wellbeing team and my academic mentor briefly (8/?)

and told my manager I'm likely to be out of it for a few days. and i know its bad because I'm dissociating so much and get panic attack symptoms from thinking/talking about it but idk if I have a *right* to be. Like. I keep going back and forth between "it was my fault for bla bla bla, he did stop for a moment, he did sort of ask before, he wore the condom i gave him, I did technically consent at parts" (9??/?)

and "he didn't care he was hurting me, he was laughing the whole time, he went harder when i said stop, he just switched positions when i said stop, he was LAUGHING the whole time. If it'd been me I would never have continued, it's not that hard to see when someone's in pain" Idk how to feel or what to think basically. I have a wellbeing appointment on Friday I guess we'll see how that goes but fuck. I can't function rn (10?/10)

Hi sunshine anon,

I'm so sorry about what happened.

I'd like to share with you this article about the spectrum of consent - enthusiastic, willing, unwilling, and coerced.

Enthusiastic consent is actively wanting to participate, not fearing the consequences of saying yes or no, and that saying no would mean you'd miss out on something you want.

Willing consent is when you care about someone but may not be interested in the moment although desire may begin after saying yes, and that you only dread the consequences of saying no (as in it would hurt their feelings, etc).

Then there's unwilling consent, which is when you fear the consequences of saying no more than saying yes (you don't want to say yes but saying no would be worse), there is not only a lack of desire but a lack of desire for desire (you don't even want to develop desire), and that they'll stop bothering you if you say yes.

Coerced consent is when you're threatened for saying no, that you'll be hurt for saying yes but hurt more for saying no, and that saying yes means doing something you actively dread.

It sounds like your consent shifted through the spectrum from start to finish; you initially wanted to hook up with him (ho era, I love that), but then when he kissed you that consent was more just willing because you weren't really comfortable, but you still wanted to have sex with him. Your consent shifted more towards unwilling perhaps when he asked for oral and when the sex began, and then it seems to have become coerced as the sex continued because he blatantly ignored your body language and your verbal communication that it hurt etc.

The thing is that you are (or should be) allowed to revoke your consent at any point. You can be in the middle of sex and change your mind and that's okay. You can say you're not interested and change your mind later too. Just because you gave consent at some points doesn't mean you gave consent to all of it. You don't deserve to feel pressured by anyone to feel that any consent you provide is irrevocable.

You're right that it's not hard to tell when someone's in pain, and if it were me too I would never have continued either. I don't mean to postulate other people's motives but I find that abusers aren't thinking about anyone but themselves when they're taking advantage of someone. You may find this video helpful.

I hope the appointment went well, feel free to let us know how that went. I'm not sure what Wellbeing is exactly, but I do recommend getting set up with a therapist if you haven't already and if that's possible for you. A professional could help you process and heal from this experience.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, please feel free to add on. I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #sunshine anon #tw r #tw sa #tw abuse #trauma details

[seabreeze2022]

Grand Banks Columbus to Sturgeon Bay (Part 3)

“For want of a nail, the war was lost” as the old adage goes.”

I delivered the 42’ Grand Banks trawler, “Susan Lee”, from Columbus MS. starting Sept. 27, 2022 to Sturgeon Bay, WI. The trip lasted 25 days with final delivery on Oct. 21, 2022.

On day 21 of the trip, Sunday Oct. 16, 2022, I sought safe harbor from an impending gale at South Shore Yacht Club, Milwaukee, WI. I docked the “Susan Lee” port side to, facing away from shore in the middle of the yacht club basin. There were two boats tied to the same dock between myself and shore. This was as deep in the pocket that I could dock. About 130 yards off my bow was the jetty protecting the yacht club. I was directed here by the Dock Master. This turned out to be about the best place to weather the gale, given what docks were available. See the photo above: we were in the horse shoe docked on the top side half way down the dock.

Sept. 16 Sunday. National Weather Service: 

      HAZARDOUS WEATHER OUTLOOK. 

      FREEZE WARNING IN EFFECT, until 0700am.  

Initially, I plugged into shore power to a power pedestal close by on the dock. I secured the vessel with multiple lines to as many cleats on the dock as I could. Using spring lines both fore and aft, plus multiple bow and stern lines. I conferred with several local Captains, who each had decades at this yacht club, on what I should expect from the storm. Three of the Captains had their boats tied to the docks and would end up doing multiple checks during the gale. We checked with each other on multiple occasions and I provided an over watch while they checked on their boats. Since even being in the open on the dock was dangerous.

Winds were coming from my port beam, holding me off of the dock. The fetch was about 1,700’ during the majority of the gale. This caused a constant surge washing me away from the dock, then a pull slamming the boat back into the dock. This sawing back and forth went on for 36 hours, constantly. A sway to starboard, followed by a sudden jerk as we stopped at the maximum stretch of the lines. Then during the lull of the winds or the bottom of the swells we would slam back to the dock. As winds increased, I decided to unplug shore power, fearing that if my lines broke. I would rip the power pedestal off the dock and electrocute someone. 

One of the local Captains agreed it was the prudent thing to do. He unplugged his boat as well.

I was able to ease some of the slamming back into the dock, by lengthening the bow lines. Realizing the severity of the gale, I pulled the secondary anchor and rode out of the bilge. Cutting the spliced line to remove the anchor. I then added that 3 stand line to the starboard aft cleat.

Photo shows the snow flurries.

As the storm grew in intensity, while evaluating anything I could do to mitigate windage. I determined that opening up the side clear vinyl panels on the fly bridge would reduce windage. Temperatures were so cold that we actually had snow at one point. Clear vinyl, cold temperatures and high winds do not mix at all. Several of the clear vinyl panels cracked; due to their inflexibility, as cold and gusty as it was.

The gale lasted about 36 hours. I instituted a rule initially, that after dark when outside of the boat and even walking on the dock. My crew and I would wear inflatable PFDs.  We were bundled up for 30 degree temperatures, plus wearing foul wx gear. While walking down the dock which was positioned 90 degrees to the wind. We could easily be blown off the dock by the sudden gusts. I extended the rule to both day or night, when outside the cabin; we would wear PFDs. As the winds increased, we would stay on the boat and not even try and get on the dock.

Before nightfall the second night, I had secured the boat by 22 different lines through 6 hawse pipes to 5 different cleats on the boat. If I could have used any other cleats on the boat or dock, I would have! Luckily the cleats on the dock were extremely strong and large. But I was restricted on how many hawse pipes and cleats I could access on the vessel.

I was constantly evaluating the lines for chaff, both at the dock and through the hawse pipes. Adding anything I could get my hands on, to protect the lines from chaffing. Including several of my T-shirts and towels from “Susan Lee”. I used every single fender of the 13 fenders on board, to buffer it against the constant surge slamming us back against the dock. Four of the fenders would end up getting shredded by a single piece of angle iron on the dock, where a ladder was usually attached.

“For want of a Hawse pipe….”

During the first 24 hours three different hawse pipes came lose from the outer hull of the boat. 

I had at least 12 more hours of gale force winds to go. First, the port mid-cleat hawse pipe came lose and slid down the lines. I increased the chaffing gear where the lines were now chaffing against the raw fiberglass of the outer hull. I had to time the surges to slide the chaff gear in place. It would be easy to lose a finger or two if not diligent while doing this. I was completely surprised when the first hawse pipe came lose, but dealt with it as best I could. Being proactive, I doubled down, inspecting the other hawse pipes. Sure enough, several others showed signs of imminent failure. Eventually the aft port, port mid cleat and bow port hawse pipes had all separated from the hull and slid down the dock lines. As each hawse pipe pulled loose from the hull. I would add chaffing gear between the lines and the raw edge of the hull.

Tuesday Sept. 18, National Weather Service: 

    GALE WARNING IN EFFECT UNTIL 7am WEDNESDAY 

    NW gales to 40 knots with gust to 45 knots.

    Waves nearshore 6-9 feet and 18-23 ft. off shore.

         (Windchill charts: 40 knot winds with 30 degrees temps is equal to  13 F.

Waves are impressively breaking over the rip rap sea wall just head of us and shooting 20-30 ft. into the sky.

“For want of a hawse pipe, the line was chaffed…”

Tuesday Sept. 18 0922 am, National Weather Service:

    STORM WARNING IN EFFECT TILL 7 pm. Wednesday 

    North winds 30 to 35 kts. with gust up to 50 kts. waves 14 to 19 feet. 

The worst of the gale came at night. By this point, both of us traded one hour shifts. Checking lines and weather conditions. I feared enough, that I slept in the main cabin during my off duty time. Fully clothed for 30 degree temperatures, in foul weather gear, wearing shoes and my PFD. Headlight in place and hand light ready. I prepared an emergency “go bag” with wallet, cash, and passport in case our lines parted. I knew we would be blown across the basin to the leeward dock within seconds. The “Susan Lee” would be bashed to pieces in a short time due to the surge and wind. 

During the night, 6 different lines chaffed through. That is close to 1/4 of the lines attaching us to the dock. This dramatically increased the strain on the remaining 16 lines, of which several also showed signs of chaffing through.

“Even though 3 hawse pipes pulled out, and the lines chaffed through. The ship was not lost!

We eventually outlasted the storm. Damage incurred was 2 clear vinyl windows cracked, 4 fenders shredded, 3 hawse pipes pulled lose from the vessel, at least 6 lines chaffed through. With an estimate of $18,000 in repairs. Actually, being proactive we were pretty lucky to save the vessel!

I would love to exaggerate this story, but there is no need. I truly feared that the “Susan Lee”, that I had spent almost 3 weeks on, was about to be lost. And that I would be lucky to scamper on to dry land and not die of hypothermia in the water with winter clothes on, or be crushed between the dock and the boat.

[cinnamonest]

Xingqiu - Yandere Profile

I actually just got my sweet bookworm boi to his next to last ascension, my hydro baby, my angel, I love him even if bc of him I have to marathon fight the oceanid

I’ve had a lot of reqs for him & Chongyun dating back to January again lol but it only felt right to wait until I finished both so I could release them at the same time, so, Chongyun’s will be up immediately after this!

=======================

TWs: fem reader, yandere, confinement, manipulative behaviors, mentions of homicide, gaslighting, Xingqiu being a spoiled arrogant brat

TWs (below cut): noncon/dubcon, manipulating and guilting reader into sex, overstimulation, fluids/cumplay, humiliation 

Since there's no canonical age but he has a bit of the rounded young face I'm tagging with the sh*ta tw as well!

=======================

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 7 Brutality: 3 Physical capability: 4 Mental/emotional instability: 6 Restrictiveness: 7 Sexual sadism: 5 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Tries to buy his way to you, initially. He's grown up seeing the power that money holds over people, and, well, his father can always just wave a bit around and get whatever he wants from most people, so why should you be any different? He goes for stereotypical "girl" things like flowers and jewelry at first, unless you have some prominent and well-known interest, in which case he'll invest in something related to that.

Honestly, for all his chivalry and all that, his maturity is something of a faux one, a sort of projected self-image of the gentlemanly figure he strives to be... but when he lets that slip, he can be something of a childish spoiled brat. The thing is... he's completely unaware and refuses to acknowledge that he can be so immature. He likes getting what he wants, when he wants it, exactly how he wants it, and being denied the things he wants isn't particularly common in his life. So rejection comes not so much as a disappointment so much as a shock. No matter, you're just... a brat, yourself. You think you're too good for everyone, he reasons, so you play hard to get.

Really, after recovering from the initial shock, he realizes he likes things this way. He likes challenges. It would be no fun if you came to him easily. You may be a brat, but in the end, the one thing he refuses to ever do is lose. Chivalrous gentlemen are fine with having to earn their things, so really, he's thankful that you reminded him of his morals, of his desire to truly earn the things he wants. It will make it that much more meaningful.

So he goes heavy on the idea of "courting", following whatever old and prudish traditions may exist in Liyue. If you're from somewhere else, he figures, that could be why -- clearly he hasn't followed through on whatever is normal for your culture. Silly him. He makes an effort to research whatever those traditions may be, and goes to the absolute maximum on performing them. Lavishes you in gifts of all kinds, constantly giving you compliments. He even goes to the effort of, if all else fails, reading romance novels targeted at women to get a better grasp of what exactly you're supposed to like, and emulates those behaviors.

Overall, though, in later stages Xingqiu slightly more mild for a yan, allowing you to have interactions with others (even if he’s irritated), such as his family, family servants, and his friends, and will even take you outside now and then. However, he will cut off your ties to those friends you had before that weren't mutual friends. He's also one of the least likely yanderes to ever kill someone, and will avoid hurting people if possible -- if anything, he prefers more discreet methods like ruining their life socially or financially.

He's also a lot more moody behind closed doors than he is to most people. His attempts to be oh-so-mature eventually kinda crumble, and the more comfortable he becomes around you, the more he lets his immaturity show.

He could assign family servants to looking for you, but really, he prefers to do it himself, this is about love after all, he doesn't want to assign them to a task they would never perform as diligently as he could. But rather than stalking, he chooses to just kind of... stay with you. He's somehow always where you are, "coincidentally" running into you everywhere and then somehow nothing having anything to do, because he clings to you for hours until you finally have to go home, and even then, he'll just follow you to continue the visit there if he can. No point in watching from a distance when he can be right there with you. And again, he's actually surprisingly unaware that his clinginess is so obvious, he's oblivious to how obvious his infatuation is. Which is a bit odd, considering that he's usually fairly perceptive, but he's so confident in the fact that he is normally perceptive that he allows himself to slip into abnormal behaviors without really realizing it, because he's not constantly on guard in the way some less socially adept yanderes are.

On a genuinely sweet level, there's one little thing he keeps hidden from you. He's actually written a lot of love poetry for you, verses about you and all of the things he loves about you so much... Despite usually being fairly confident in his work, he can't bring himself to show it to you. He's too flustered. And considering your negative reactions to his affection (read: not wanting to be kept like a captive animal), he is actually a bit sensitive to that perceived rejection, which further discourages him. He keeps them all stashed away, stuffed into some fairly hidden drawer. Should you ever come across them and bring them up, it's one of a very few things that will genuinely make him super embarrassed, and he'll just insist they weren't about you, even though the details make it obvious they were, and storm off, never bringing it up again.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

It's not kidnapping. It's... relocating. He's far too chivalrous to resort to something so brutish as kidnapping! He'll make sure you want to come with him. He can easily arrange for there to be rumors and reports of... occurrences near your home. Criminal activity, maybe false rumors of mysterious disappearances. Hell, he'll get Chongyun to testify that your house has demonic spirits in it. Something to make you want to move out. Maybe some things start happening to you -- you get the feeling you're being watched, you get threatening messages mailed to your home, you have strangers (read: randos who will do anything for some mora he gives them) telling you you're not welcome in the area and to get out. It's all incredibly confusing and scary and you have no idea what brought it all on!

Luckily for you, you have a rich, generous friend who makes it more than clear you're welcome to come stay with him for a while at any time. Eventually, no matter what it takes, he can push you to a point where you'll take him up on that offer. Something feels... oddly ominous about the way the gates to his family estate close behind you once you walk in. Like they're sealing your fate.

And once step one is done, step two of his plan goes into place - make sure you never want to leave. He can make that happen, there's plenty of space here for you to roam, plenty for you to do, and even when he's not there to entertain you, there's plenty of servants to keep an eye on you and make sure that whenever you try to leave, they'll smile and tell you you can't go just yet miss, there's this or that going on tonight! The young master said he had something important for you when he gets back later! You can't go out now, there was just an attack by some deranged person in the town still on the loose! Just... go back inside for now.

Of course, it's wishful thinking, but he likes to maintain the delusion that he can just keep this going indefinitely, that you won't finally one day put your foot down and tell him you've been stuck here nearly a month and you're ready to at least go visit home. He might even entertain it a bit - sure, you can go visit your old house with him and collect some of your old things to bring back with you, but he makes sure to make it look at though whatever problem he made up is still occurring. Nonetheless, if you're insistent, or at whatever point you finally crack and catch on, demand to know what's going on - well, it's not pretty. He gets into something of a tantrum if you don't comply, but ultimately, in his own little huffy, ticked off way, says you can't leave, and that's that, no more questions allowed, and no more of this ridiculous demand to leave. Of course, darling is taken aback at first, even thinking he's joking, but it soon becomes very clear he's completely serious, and intends to enforce that command.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

When he's with you, he's tends to be pretty clingy, both physically and in conversation, never ceasing talking about this or that, and he's actually a sleep-clinger as well, keeping an iron grip around your waist when you sleep. So, whenever he's at his home, he insists on you being in his presence, usually physically touching, so you won't really get an opportunity while he's just in another room or something because you can't get any privacy to begin with. When you're in public, he's incredibly watchful over your every move and incredibly clingy then as well, so don't expect such a chance to arrive either.

Thus, your best bet is to try when you're under the watch of guards, whenever he's gone for whatever reason. They've been instructed to watch you from a distance, you see, he doesn't want them interacting with you directly, so you'll have a few chances here or there where they get distracted or their backs are turned. There will likely eventually also be a time where there's a scheduling error, you end up unsupervised! However, physically getting out of the estate is still difficult. There's still posted guards everywhere. So all in all, it's fairly difficult, especially in broad daylight, the only time he's not with you.

When you're inevitably dragged back kicking and screaming by some poor guards that aren't getting paid enough to deal with this, after getting back and hearing the report he deals with it in that unnerving saccharine way of feigning ignorance to try and get a reaction. Now, he knows you weren't trying to get out... right? Surely you got distracted by a bird or something, right? That's the only reason why you'd ever try to leave, right? It's obvious he knows better, and is just fucking with your head, but it's best not to lie. What he wants is an admittance of guilt and an apology, preferably down on the floor begging for forgiveness.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Moderate, leaning towards difficult. He's perceptive, and intelligent, but that intelligence is largely a sort of book-smarts type of intelligence. He's generally crafty and a prankster himself, so pulling things over on him is difficult because he's familiar with the mindset and methods of doing so, but he can be tricked if you put on a believable enough act. Basically, a darling who is a good actor stands a much better chance.

However, he's ultimately a learner. You can get away with some tricks or plots once, but he won't fall for the same thing twice. Any sort of escape or deceit you've tried once, he'll make active efforts to guard against and prevent in the future.

Manipulation, though, you can forget it. He's way too proud and stubborn to be emotionally manipulated, in the end getting his way and what he wants takes priority over making you happy, so don't expect to be able to manipulate him based on the notion of something making you happier.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

Fairly lenient, actually. You get a lot of access so long as your behavior is good, so really it's wise to be on your best behavior in the long term of things. He can get you anything you want, especially reading material. And you actually get to go outside, yay! He's like my earlier Childe profile on that -- he likes to go on dates, and he's actually really enthusiastic about it! He's big on date planning, wanting to see everything there is to see and do everything there is to do together. The rules are that you just need to be physically attached to him in some way -- you can hold his hand, grab at his sleeves, or he can do so to you (although he'd prefer you cling to him. He likes the image it projects to people around you). He actually gets really hyped about said dates whenever you plan them, he'll talk to you for hours plotting out all the things to do on this particular outing. At one point, his smile drops and his voice goes low and he tells you that, just a reminder, you know the rules for dates, right? ...Good.

Similarly, if you ask, he'll let you accompany him on more trivial outings as well, say if you'd like to go grocery shopping, and he certainly won't turn down a trip to the bookstore. The same rules apply, although he's a bit less excited for something so mundane.

One thing he won't do, surprisingly, is let you have anything to do with Guhua arts or skills. He won't teach you anything he knows nor let you learn, and if you were a follower of it before, he'll cut off your access to any material. His reasoning is that he just doesn't really think anything to do with combat suits you. You're better off learning more passive skills and hobbies.

In reality? He can't stand the thought of you ever being able to present a challenge to him in that sense. It would kill his ego if you ever managed to do something related to the Guhua arts better than he can, or even half as good as he can.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Well, to occupy your time, he has things that need cleaning you know... Honestly, he's messy, and he's already used to having maids, so he kinda treats you like one to some degree. Of course, he's active in his little heroism adventures, but when it comes to his own living spaces and such things he can be a bit lazy. So, he'll give you tasks to do sometimes, he likes the power rush too that he gets from ordering you around a bit. It soothes the ego.

Outside of your strolls together, you can't be going outside (and you don't get to choose when you do go on your little walks and dates, he does, although he may grant you the wishes of your begging). Also, don't actually try to talk to the guards. They're there to watch you, nothing more, so pay them no mind, and by no means should you ever have a reason to make conversation with them. If there's an emergency or something you need, you may inform them and get help, nothing more. And really, they're more afraid of this rule than you are -- you'll have difficulty finding one even willing to talk to you, they all take the warnings they've been given very seriously.

He eventually gets nitpicky and makes all sorts of little behavioral rules, it's incredibly obnoxious. But honestly, suffering his bratty tantrums is enough of a punishment, even if he didn't usually follow it up with actual punishment, which, for him, tends to be something perverted in some way.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He actually gets jealous rather easily, often over people who are no real threat. You can never be too nice to anyone -- even after he introduces you to his father and older brother, he expects you to be happy to meet them... but not that much. If you show too much excitement or happiness over any other being, he gets pouty, especially other men, but also your friends, male or female, family, even animals. His first reaction isn't to kill, rather, just an increase in isolation. Drag you back home and make sure you get a lot of time to yourselves, seeks reassurance that you really love him. If it's his own family, he might get grouchy towards them, snap at them a bit, bitterly drag you back off to your own room, where he'll then proceed to get equally grouchy towards you until you have given him enough reassurance he deems sufficient. In his own time, when you're not around, he makes sure to make it perfectly clear to those around him that they aren't to get in between you two.

He's one of the better yans to have in this regard, though, because he's unlikely to resort to killing anyone. He's got too much of his self-image invested in the idea of morals and justice to be able to do so, he can't delude himself into believing it's right or acceptable. It's not impossible to push him to that point, but it wouldn't just be someone you show any positive reception towards -- if Xingqiu did end up killing a rival, it would have to be one for whom you have very blatantly made clear you have actual romantic and sexual affection, someone who poses a genuine, real threat.

Xingqiu is a sort of open book when it comes to jealousy -- it's obvious to everyone around you that he's mad at someone else for even looking at you, and he doesn't try to hide it. It makes him that much angrier if someone doesn't obey his silent demand to stop interacting with you, doesn't seem fazed by his glares and coldness. He'll meet with them privately and make things clear verbally, since he tells himself maybe they're just dense and too stupid to understand. But they only get one more chance. Cross him twice, and they'll likely find themselves in financial ruin after pulling some strings through the connections of his father and brother.

What would make him significantly more likely to kill someone is someone who poses a legal threat, someone who catches on to what's going on and threatens to get him in serious trouble for it. Even if he tried bribing them, well, they'd likely just pretend to accept, and someone so bold likely wouldn't bow to threats.

This is where he can slip into the mindset of a delusional yandere. He once again projects the image in his head, that knight he wants to be for you, and hey, sometimes to save the princess, the heroes in his martial arts epics have to get their hands dirty, have to unfortunately get blood on their hands for the sake of the greater good. And hey, then it's usually called character development. Most of his fictional heroes tend to have killed at least one person in a sort of epic battle to defend something precious to them. This is no different. Of course, ambushing an unarmed person and running them through hardly counts as an epic battle, but he doesn't really take that part into account.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

Again, a bit of a spoiled brat at times. He's pouty, gives you the cold shoulder, yet dramatically inserts himself in front of you and whatever you're occupied with so you can't do anything. Basically he's forcing you to acknowledge his pouting and ask him what's wrong so that he can pull the "oh, nothing" until you ask again, and maybe he'll eventually bitterly, passive-aggressively make it clear what you did wrong. The bright side is he's easily soothed - an apology and some groveling will fix his attitude pretty quickly, although he'll have an infuriating air of superiority about it all, telling you he's glad you were able to understand what you did and have, hopefully, learned to correct the behavior in the future.

Worse offenses, things that make him genuinely and truly infuriated, are significantly worse, but rather uncharacteristically for him, he's quiet. And that's what's do frightening about it - for once you almost wish he would blabber or complain or whine like you're so used to, but his fury is dead silent. He moves without speaking, harsh motions that will either shove or tug you to wherever he's trying to maneuver you, and he shows how he feels through actions rather than words - he slams doors and objects, stomps, everything about his body language is frightening enough to make you stiffen and jolt.

Thankfully, Xingqiu is a milder yandere when it comes to severity of things he'll do to you in moments of anger -- he's one that can control himself well enough not to severely hurt you, break bones or anything like that. When it comes to his flashes of anger, at worst he might slap you in his tantrums, but he has at least enough self-control and empathy for you to manage better than a lot of yanderes.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Below. It's mostly that he thinks rather highly of himself - he's an important person you know. He saves people, he goes around doing his little vigilante thing, and he's not afraid to flaunt sometimes.

If you happen to also be from a rich family, you can earn a little bit more respect from him, you're cultured and sophisticated. If you're intelligent, you can get some validity in his mind as well. He'll still consider himself more intelligent and higher status, something you'd be mindful to remember, but he'll begrudgingly acknowledge it.

A commoner darling, though? God forbid an airheaded one? Forget about getting any respect - you're more like... A cute little puppy to him. Dumb and loud and clumsy, but nonetheless very cute and loveable. You were just... Made to be something of an accessory to him. And he loves and values you, you mean the world to him really, but that's all the more reason why you should accept your place as such.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

It drives him up the wall. You know, his father could arrange his marriage to a ton of young rich daughters in Liyue who would be more than happy about it, but he can't get the attention of ONE girl he likes? It's infuriating. And it makes him all the more insistent to have specifically you.

For Xingqiu, it's a mix of both desperation and a pride thing as well. One one hand he desperately does truly want his feelings to be returned, he wants you to love him, he wants the fantasy he has in his head of you two having a long, happy future together. On the other hand, rejection is also a mark on his pride, and that irritates him beyond comprehension.

So don't expect him to ever give up, really. Unlike a lot of loving yans though, he doesn't blame himself, he directs the rejection hurt outward - maybe you're just so spoiled yourself that nothing is good enough for you. Maybe you're just playing hard to get. Maybe you just think constantly turning him down is funny, it's amusing to you, and, well, he doesn't take lightly to you trying to play games with him. So while he'll continue to try and earn your love, don't be surprised if it results in an irritated mood swing every now and then.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

A lack of desire/hesitancy to resort to violence or more morally wayward methods. He stakes a lot of his pride and self-image on being a chivalrous, upright, just person, someone who should exemplify right and punish wrong, and unfortunately for him he's not a delusional and can't convince himself that he's doing the right thing. He wants to be a gentleman, your knight in shining armor, the storybook hero he projects in his head that always comes to save his princess, who in turn is receptive and showers him in praise and affection and gratitude. You're the problem, you see, you're not following through on your role in all this.

As such, he really, really hates having to dirty his hands in any way, or do anything that he knows is wrong and will consequently drag him into guilt. Not that he can't be driven to it, because he certainly can, but if it reaches that point, that means you didn't cooperate with him to begin with, which would have made things so much easier, so he'll definitely rid himself of that guilt by redirecting the blame to you, or deluding himself into some bizarre justification.

Another thing... his family's compliance. Honestly? His dad is far too busy and far too done with Xingqiu's shit to expect any help from him. His son tends to be picky, whiny, and demanding -- now that you're here, he's finally satiated, finally actually paying attention to the important matters his father wants him to be involved with, finally not causing nearly as much trouble now that you're around. You can bet he's more than happy to put in some extra funds and personnel to restrain some random commoner, so long as his son is satisfied. His brother doesn't really agree with it all, but his brother wants this and his father is supporting it, so... his hands are tied. He turns a blind eye. And the staff, the servants? They're getting paid far too much to care, and besides, the family is incredibly influential -- should they get fired, it could smear their reputation. It’s kinda really discouraging, being surrounded by so many people, but none of them willing to help you.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Bounces back and forth. On one hand, he wants to maintain, again, a gentlemanly and sophisticated image, and in his mind, such people don't normally think about such things, don't behave in lewd or degenerate ways. On the other hand, he's a nasty little perv that secretly sinks to the absolute depths of depravity. There's not much he can't get off to. If his poor brother hadn't been so busy being concerned about the martial arts books under his bed, and had dug further, he would have found that those books are actually just a cover-up for a different set of nasty, gross materials he's spent years accumulating -- some of the most vulgar smut you've ever seen, stuff you question how he ever even got ahold of. Surely the book house wouldn't sell this kind of material... it's honestly a mystery how he manages to get so much.

With his first few interactions, he tends to display the former image, but the more time he spends with anyone, the more that inner little pervert side tends to come out. He's definitely one to get touchy, his light grazing little touches become firmer and more daring, his hands always rest just at a point that's right on the boundary of being inappropriate. Sometimes he'll straight-up grope you and pass it off as teasing. He's also like Kaeya in that he intentionally tries to embarrass you by making your mind go to lewd places, making obvious innuendos and euphemisms, then pretending like he doesn't know why you're looking at him like that... oh, is that what you thought he meant? Wow, you must have such a dirty mind, you little pervert.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Something like rape is barbaric! Of course he would never, eeeeever do something so awful, so unbecoming of someone like him. And he really never will. He's another yan that will simply... Secure your consent by whatever means necessary.

In the end he'll most likely guilt trip and gaslight his way into it. I mean, you're staying with him for free, he took you in, he feeds you and clothes you and you can't show one little bit of gratitude? He treats you like a wife and you can't fulfil your end of that role? Don't be selfish. He loves you so much... He'd do anything for you... don't you want him to be happy too?

He'll try different approaches. If seduction doesn't work off the bat, he'll try gaslighting, if that doesn't work, he'll try guilt tripping, if that doesn't work, he'll make up a bizarre lie - he has to have sex or he'll die, somehow! You get the idea. If you really, really, really push it, he may just resort to a vague threat of sorts - nothing too bad or deadly, but hey, it would sure be a shame if this recent market crash affected your family financially... Not that he knows anyone who has power over the local commerce or anything.

With a more timid, soft darling, you're likely to end up essentially... Dubcon'ed. Half-noncon'ed. He just kinda... Slowly goes for it, and at your protests insists no, it's ok, you'll feel good... And a timid darling too afraid to stop him doesn't exactly fight back or resist, so hey, silence is a green light.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Experimentation

As I've said, he's a nasty little perv deep down, and he can get off to, well, a LOT of things. And he loves to try new things out, no matter how weird it may be. He's one you can get into a lot of things involving toys and objects, or physical forms of things applied to the body (think temperature play, hot wax, nipple clamps -- anything that has to do with objects being used on you). Part of the fun of it all is having something new that he's never tried before! Even if it turns out to not be his favorite thing, he'll still enjoy the trying it out, and those things he DOES find himself liking, well, he'll just have to add them to the little mental list of favorites.

And he, honestly, enjoys the little reactions you often have to the notions of this or that -- the shock and sudden fear on your face when he tells you today you'll do this or that, and how you shake your cute little head so rapidly. It's not that bad, he promises, and he's done a lot of research and reading to be sure he does things correctly, so no worries!

Body writing

It's kinda comical because you can't make out a word. With his canonically horrendous handwriting, but fondness for the act of writing, it makes for what essentially looks to you like abstract art on your body -- but just know it's the lewdest, most degrading shit you can think of that he'll get all over your thighs and stomach, marking you as his. If nothing else, he gets off to it, and based on the little things he whispers in your ear, you know it's the same sort of humiliating things. If he takes his time, he can write better, but he gets caught up in the heat of the moment.

Lingerie

He's a fan of lacey, frilly things. And he will definitely invest in as many as he can buy, ornate and intricate things, stockings for your legs that have pretty lace patterns at the top of the thigh, bras and panties that are somehow both lacey and perfectly see-through. He's also a big fan of things that have holes in them for easy access, so you can wear it the whole time. And, if he's feeling meaner, he'll definitely have you walk around in just that for a while -- not out where anyone else in the estate could see you, of course, but in his room with him.

Master/slave

He's not a sadist per se, and doesn't really put you in pain, but he loves your submission. And no better way to exemplify submission than with service. The little bastard already makes you act like a maid outside of bed, but now he likes it even more -- there's a certain rush of power to laying out a command and seeing you follow it. Not to mention the cute look on your warm face as you follow though with the degrading shit. Oh, and you'd better believe he gets humiliating. It's not necessarily degrading in the sense that he says or makes you say bad things about yourself, but rather, just the commands themselves, getting on your hands and knees and crawling over to him, and demanding you slowly strip down. Make it cute, give him a show, you know? He won't be cruel in the things he says about you, yet your pride is still wrecked by the end of it all.

Voyeurism/masturbation instruction

He loves to watch you get off, honestly. It ties into the slave thing to a degree, making you follow every little command, telling you exactly how to touch yourself and move your hands. He'll sigh and tell you no, you're going to fast, you can't do it that fast yet... and if you get too overexcited, he'll just have to make you stop, since you can't seem to listen, and maybe not get to cum until tomorrow, so you can learn to behave better about it next time.

Fluids/Cumplay

He has something of a fixation with all kinds. He loves seeing the trail of saliva from your mouth when you pull off his dick, the way cum drips out of you and runs down your thighs. He also likes seeing it splattered across your face, your chest, in your hair, something about the sight of it nearly has him hard immediately after and ready to go. But he also likes how it will gross you out, leaving you tied up so that you can't wipe it off, are forced to just stay there with it dripping out of your holes and down your skin in a way that makes you shiver. And, really, he loves your fluids too, sweet salty slick that's just so mesmerizing to watch coat his fingers and face. But his favorite thing, probably has to be running his fingers through your own juices and slick, collecting it on his fingers, holding it up to your mouth and telling you to suck them clean. Somehow, it's even hotter when you're licking your own fluids off of his fingers, although you doing so with his is certainly nice too.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He’d like an heir one day. He's one to want a kid, maybe two, but not a whole lot. Just enough to have a proper family structure, much like the family he was raised in. It's the proper thing to do, he thinks, a natural part of the social order and continuation of a legacy. As a natural extension of his spoiled brat tendencies, he often doesn't think very responsibly in regards to preventing children, so, lucky for him, that ideal will likely come to fruition eventually, if physically possible.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Absolutely uses overstimulation. Whatever sorts of toys exist in Teyvat, he's rich enough that he can easily obtain them - little things he can attach to you and leave buzzing, or thick plugs and internal toys to stuff you full and leave you there to suffer in stimulation and stretching for hours on end. And he doesn't leave you alone, no, he stays close by, leaving you tied up and blindfolded, the occasionally lazy checkup of "oh, how are you holding up over there? I almost totally forgot you were there!" in a mocking tone while he goes about reading his books or practicing or jerking off to the sight.

Also ruined orgasms. Ugh, he's the worst. Gets you right to your peak, likely also after hours of edging, and then just... stops. Right as you reach the high, stops all motion, leaves you whimpering and sobbing, it's literally painful to actually reach it, and then still have that orgasm taken from you. And he'll be sure to remind you that if you were good, you could experience it in full, he could make you feel so good and let you ride out that high... but so long as you insist on being such a stubborn little princess, unfortunately, he can't just give you that. He hates this too, you know, he says. He'd love nothing more than to share pleasure, but you insist on being difficult.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Legs and thighs. He likes the aesthetics of legs, the softness, the way the flesh feels in his hands. The way touching them can make you jolt, the sensitivity, the way they leave little marks so perfectly if he sucks and bites at the skin. It's just really pretty.

#yandere genshin impact #yandere x reader #yandere xingqiu #yandere x y/n #tw: noncon #tw: dark content #tw:shota

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 8

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language? Warnings: None? I think? Please let me know if I missed something Notes: Bit of fluff with some anxiety/update on primary conflict. Next chapter will be a cute date with Dani, the one after that will be maximum h*rny, and then what will likely be the finale. Music for this chapter here. PS this one is a bit on the shorter side, but I hope y'all still enjoy it. Past Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco, Pt. 6: Elegy, Pt. 7: Harmony

Chapter 8: Obbligato

(Obbligato: An instrumental part which is essential in a piece of music)

“Okay, okay, serious this time, please? I’ll give you a kiss if you try hard enough,” you promised, grinning up at Daniela as you did. A week had passed since your talk in the library, with the two of you spending most days together, and you were progressing nicely with the musical lessons. Still, your girlfriend (you would never get tired of saying that word) was prone to getting a tad ‘distracted’. By you, usually. Not that it was intentional by any means. There was only so much you could do to keep her focused when the two of you were this close together.

“I could just kiss you anyway,” Daniela teased, leaning in with familiar intent. Right before your lips touch, however, she pulls back and smirks. “But if you insist, I can handle the challenge.” Then she’s turning back towards the piano, carefully finding the starting position. Even with her prior experience, you were impressed with how much she had already learned, and couldn’t help but be immensely proud of her. If anyone could meet Lady Dimitrescu’s expectations within a three month timeframe, it was the two of you. Except, of course, you still had to double-check just what her expectations were.

In the meantime, you were excited to hear your girlfriend play through the sheet music you had written up. Most of what you were working with had come from the family’s storage room, but you had also found some blank sheets, and figured it couldn’t hurt to create songs of your own. This particular one was relatively simple. It had been based on a song from a game you had played years ago, and only posed a moderate challenge due to its interesting rhythm. Daniela had seemed to enjoy playing it, with you even hearing her practice the song outside of your lessons, but had so far today refused to play it seriously.

Finally that was going to change. Once she found the starting notes, she nodded to herself, then started playing. For the first time today her expression is stern, focused. Seeing her like this was nice. She was always cute, you just thought that she was extra cute like this. But you tried not to let yourself get too distracted, knowing that you couldn’t give her feedback if you didn’t pay attention. In your head you “play along”, fingers miming the movements, knowing that it would help you catch any possible mistakes. Throughout the piece there are only a couple that you catch, none of them being severe enough to ruin the experience. Finishing with a little flourish, Daniela returns her gaze to you, grinning expectantly.

“Well? I seem to recall you promising me a reward,” she said, perking a brow. Laughing a little, you roll your eyes, before moving in to give her exactly what she wanted. Both of you are smiling into the kiss, enjoying every moment of it. Soon enough Daniela is running a hand through your hair, and pressing against you more, tilting her head just enough to deepen the kiss. You’re blushing hard now, thoughts going everywhere other than music. It’s not until you pull back for air that you remember what you’re supposed to be doing right now.

“As wonderful as this is… we still have a few more songs to go over,” you murmured, despite how much you wanted to keep kissing Daniela. By the way she groaned in frustration, you figured she felt the same way, more or less. “Hey, don’t fret too much. Think of this as an opportunity to earn a few more rewards,” you teased, gently patting her on the shoulder. For a moment she simply pouts, but eventually she sighs and gets ready to play another song…

------------------------------------

Rushing up the steps, practically two at a time, you desperately hoped that you wouldn’t be late. This was your third “update meeting” with Lady Dimitrescu, which by itself was enough to make you a nervous wreck. Add in the fact that this was the first time you’d be meeting alone? And in her personal study, no less? Well, it was safe to say that you were terrified. You hadn’t even been told why things were different this time. No, you were about as clueless as could be, given the circumstances.

By the time you make it your Lady’s study, you cannot tell whether your heart is racing due to stress or physical exertion. Regardless, you make it there in short time, arriving precisely at the scheduled hour. After taking a moment to settle your nerves, you briefly knock on the chamber door. There’s the sound of movement from inside before the way opens. Lady Dimitrescu has to bend a little to see out, but quickly smiles when she meets your gaze. Which was rather unexpected. The last time you had met with her she had been distanced, although still polite. Then again, Daniela had also been with you, and the focus was, as always, on her.

“Lady Dimitrescu,” you greeted, giving a short bow per customs. Then you were being waved in, brought over to a small sitting area, where you waited for permission to sit down. Once it was given, you relaxed a little. Maybe I don’t have as much reason to be nervous as I thought, you muse.

“Please, make yourself comfortable. There are no reasons for you to be unsettled, as far as I am aware,” Lady Dimitrescu said, smile disappearing for a moment at the end. But it’s back as quickly as it had vanished. Did she suspect something? Perhaps she had seen the way Daniela looked at you, or even overheard the whisperings of your roommates. Both thoughts do little other than renew your anxiety. Noticing this, Alcina frowns and shakes her head. “I was merely joking. Now, let us get to the reason for our meeting: How are Daniela’s lessons fairing? There is only so much I can glean from listening.” Glad to have something to think about other than your secret relationship with your boss’ daughter, you nodded and began explaining.

“Lady Daniela is making outstanding progress, in my opinion. Even with her occasional… lapses in attention, once she puts her mind to something, she’s quick to master it. At this point she can sight read nearly as fast and accurately as myself. However, we’re still going over vocabulary, as well as keys and their corresponding chords,” you answered, barely able to maintain eye contact with your employer. Thankfully, she seems to have accepted the inevitability of your nervousness. You were especially thankful now that you prepared to ask her a question. “My Lady, may I inquire about what specifically you expect from my teachings? If there are certain genres you wish for Daniela to be familiar with, or techniques-... I must admit I am unsure as to how to best meet your requirements.”

Slowly reclining in her chair, Alcina appears to ponder your question. In the meantime she sips at her beverage, holding the cup as if it were a fragile heirloom (which it could very well be), eyes looking into the middle distance. Then she gives a soft hum, setting her cup down and returning her attention to you.

“I suppose I can understand your concern. In some ways you have already exceeded my expectations,” she said, expression oddly plain in comparison to her positive phrasing. “My daughter has rarely invested herself in anything as much as she has in your lessons. For this, I am left wondering what she finds so captivating- the music, or the one who pulls the strings?... But that is not the answer to your inquiry, is it?” In that moment, you are incredibly still, willing yourself to keep a straight face, despite the racing of your heart. At your silence, Alcina perks a brow, expecting you to respond. You can’t, your mouth suddenly dry. “What I expect is a passion to educate, a drive to see my daughter flourish. I expect you to teach her exactly as much as she wants you to, focusing on whatever brings her the most joy. But I expect professionalism. Your duties come first, above your health, happiness, and all other desires. Am I understood?”

“Yes, my Lady. Of course, my Lady,” you replied, stuttering, eyes wide. Did she know? Or merely suspect?... There’s another thought, one you try desperately not to voice, only to hear the words fill the room before you can stop yourself. “May I ask where Lady Daniela’s desires fit into this?” Silence hangs heavy over the room for several seconds. Your employer has narrowed her eyes, lips curled downwards into a sharp scowl, watching you with thinly-veiled anger. All you can do is gulp and wait for her response. When it comes, you are surprised by the stability of her tone. It was almost as if she respected your gall.

“She is young still, with the mind of a lovesick maiden. Daniela does not know what she wants, not really, nor does she understand what she needs. If her… flirtatious nature begins to interrupt your instruction, then your response must be swift, and uninterested. Regardless of how unkindly she takes your rejection, I will ensure that she does not harm you,” Lady Dimitrescu said, giving a stern nod at the end. Though her tone was reassuring, you hardly felt better, considering you were far past the point of turning Daniela down (if anything, you had only turned her on). “Now, with that settled, I believe I should let you return to your duties. Oh, and do tell Cynthia that the tea she brewed was perfect, should you happen to see her.”

Then she looked away, practically ignoring your continued existence. So you rose to your feet, gave another bow, and left before your panic could devolve into a breakdown. Daniela is not going to be happy about this.

#daniela dimitrescu #daniela dimitrescu x reader #resident evil: village #re8 village #serenade #my brain got stuck on this for some reason #sorry it took so long #very excited for the date chapter tho! #gonna be hecking cute

[nerdythebard]

#27: Athena, Goddess of Wisdom

She had to make her appearance eventually, Gods and Goddesses.

Athena is probably one of the most famous deities. Daughter of Zeus, born despite his schemes, ready to defend the people and Olympus. Contrary to Ares's bloodshed, she represents strategy, military wisdom and careful planning. Spoiler alert: we're not making her a Battle Master ;)

Next Time: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE JAGUAR CRY TO THE BLUE CORN MOON!?

Let's see what we need for the SMITE version of Athena to appear in our D&D game:

Ultimate Defender: Even bigger protector than Artio, Athena is a Guardian with High Crowd Control and High Defence.

Reach for the Sky: Athena uses long-reach attacks and her Ultimate allows her to appear by her companion's side for some extra protection.

You and what Army: Athena can summon the Defenders of Olympus to form a shield wall around her, as well as taunt and goad enemies into fighting her.

---

I know I've done this before many-a-times, but I really have no choice here. Athena is a guardian, she has the divine blood of Zeus in her veins... I have to make her a Protector Aasimar. We get a +2 Charisma and +1 Wisdom, 60 feet of Darkvision, resistance to necrotic and radiant damage, ability to speak Common and Celestial, the Light cantrip, and Healing Hands, which lets us recover Hit Points equal to our level once per long rest.

We're going to take the City Watch background, which gives us proficiencies in Athletics and Insight, two languages of our choice, but we're actually going to customize it and replace the Watcher's Eye feature with Legal Authority from the Inquisitor background. This allows us to become a representative of the law, pass judgments and sometimes even carry out the sentence. Basically, we can now tell those who attempt to invade Olympus

ABILITY SCORES

Strength will be first, our weapon is a spear and those are not labelled as finesse. Next is Constitution, we need to be able to take hits. Follow that up with Wisdom, it's kinda our thing, especially when it comes to strategy.

Charisma will be next, it's important for a good leader (and a proud crafter). Dexterity is a bit lower than I would like it to be, but in SMITE Athena is not the quick-and-nimble type. Finally, we're dumping Intelligence. We really need other abilities more, plus it wasn't a smart decision to punish Arachne for winning a competition.

CLASS

Once again, I'm putting a small twist on the prediction and I think this is the first time on the blog we're doing this.

Level 1 - Paladin: We start with the divine warrior. Paladins get a d10 Hit Dice, [10 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points, proficiencies with light armour, medium armour, heavy armour, shields, simple weapons, and martial weapons. In the artwork, we see that Athena is not turtled-up in armour, so giving her a half-plate in addition to a spear and a shield seems like a good option. Our saving throws are Wisdom and Charisma, and we get to choose two class skills (Intimidation and Persuasion).

We start by getting Divine Sense, which informs us of any celestial, fiends, or undead within 60 feet of us. We know the type, but not what the creature actually is.

Lay on Hands is similar to our racial ability, Healing Hands. We have a pool of healing energy, equal to [our Paladin level x5] which restores itself at each long rest. As an action, we can touch a creature and restore its Hit Points by whatever points we have left in the pool. Alternatively, we can spend 5 points to remove one disease or poison from the target.

Level 2 - Paladin: We get Divine Smite. Whenever we hit a creature with a melee weapon attack, we can burn a spell slot to add extra 2d8 radiant damage (+1d8 for each spell slot above 1st-level to a maximum of 5d8). Damage increases by 1d8 if the enemy is a fiend or an undead.

We also get to pick a Fighting Style. To fulfil Athena's role as a guardian, we're once again going to pick Interception. Whenever a creature within 5 feet of us is hit by an attack, we can use our reaction to reduce the damage by [1d10 + our proficiency bonus]. We must be wielding a shield or a simple/martial weapon.

Paladins also get Spellcasting. Charisma is our casting ability, and we do not learn cantrips or rituals. Paladins have access to their full spell list and can each day prepare [Charisma modifier + half of Paladin level rounded down] spells. We start with two 1st-level spell slots:

Divine Favour bathes us in divine light and power, allowing our weapon attacks to deal extra 1d4 radiant damage for 1 minute (concentration).

Heroism increases your allies' morale. Until the spell ends (1 minute, concentration), one willing creature we touch is immune to being frightened and gain Temporary Hit Points equal to our casting ability modifier at the start of each turn.

Shield of Faith surrounds one creature of our choice within range (60 feet) for 10 minutes (concentration), granting it a +2 AC bonus.

Level 3 - Paladin: With Divine Health we are now immune to disease. We also get to pick our subclass, our Sacred Oath. Athena is a devoted protector of her city and the gods, so making her take the Oath of the Crown, to uphold the spirit of the nation and service to law seems fitting. We start by getting some Oath Spells; those are always prepared for us and don't count against the total number of spells known:

Command forces a Wisdom saving throw onto one creature within 60 feet of us, as we utter a single-word demand. On a failed save, the target is compelled to execute that command to the best of their ability at the beginning of their next turn. The command cannot force the target to harm themselves.

Compelled Duel forces one creature within 30 feet to turn their attention towards us and fight one-on-one, provided they fail a Wisdom saving throw. For the duration (1 minute, concentration), the compelled target has a disadvantage on attacks made against targets other than us and must make a Wisdom saving throw when attempting to move more than 30 feet away from us.

We also gain access to the Cleric's Channel Divinity. Once per short or long rest, we can use one of the two effects listed below:

Champion Challenge acts similarly to the Compelled Duel spell, as it prevents creatures who fail a Wisdom saving throw to move further than 30 feet from us. The difference is, this ability affects every creature within 30 feet radius.

Turn the Tide lets us use our bonus action to bolster the injured. Each creature of our choice within 30 feet of us regain [1d6 + our Charisma modifier] Hit Points, provided they have no more than half of their Hit Points.

Level 4 - Paladin: Time for our first Ability Score Improvement. We will, however, take the Spear Mastery feat instead. We gain a +1 to attack rolls made with our spear, the damage dice of the spear change from a d6 to d8, we can use our bonus action to extend the spear's reach by 5 feet until the end of our turn, and finally, we can prepare ourselves for a charge. If a creature that we can see within 20 feet of us gets within our spear's reach on its next turn, we can use a reaction to make an attack against it that deals additional 1d8 damage. If the creature used Disengage before, we're not getting the opportunity.

We can also grab another spell: Protection from Evil and Good grants one willing creature we touch protection from aberrations, celestials, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead. Attack rolls against the target are made with a disadvantage, and the target cannot be charmed or frightened by the aforementioned creatures.

Level 5 - Paladin: With Extra Attack we can now attack twice instead of once during a single Attack action.

We also unlock 2nd-level spells and gain two spells from our subclass spell list:

Warding Bond ties up to one target within 60 feet of us. For 1 hour the target gains a +1 bonus to AC and saving throws, and resistance to all forms of damage. Additionally, whenever the target takes damage we take the same amount of damage.

Zone of Truth creates a 15-foot-radius sphere at a point within 60 feet of us for 10 minutes. Creatures inside the sphere must make a Wisdom saving throw or become unable to lie as long as they remain within the sphere's boundaries. They are not compelled to answer, however.

Level 6 - Paladin: We get our first Aura option. With the Aura of Protection, whenever a friendly creature within 10 feet of us must make a saving throw, it gains a bonus equal to our Charisma modifier.

We also get another spell: Magic Weapon transforms our non-magical weapon into a magical one, for the purpose of overcoming resistances and immunities. Until the spell ends (1 hour, concentration), we also get a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls done with the weapon.

Level 7 - Barbarian: Surprise! I believe it's the first time we jump into the rage machine. I can already hear you saying 'Ares should've been a barbarian!'. Maybe. Maybe not. Hear me out, though: Athena's rage is cold and calculated. Precise and bottled up, to be unleashed only when necessary.

Multiclassing into Barbarian doesn't give us any new proficiencies or skills, but we do get the Unarmoured Defence. When we're not wearing armour, our AC equals [10 + our Dexterity modifier + our Constitution modifier]. Unlike Monks, we still get this benefit even if wielding a shield.

We also get access to the Barbarian's key feature...

As a bonus action, the Barbarian can Rage and gain the following benefits (provided they're not wearing heavy armour):

Advantage on Strength checks and Strength saving throws

Bonus to damage rolls (+2; changes as we level up) for weapons that use Strength

Resistance to bludgeoning, piercing and slashing damage

The rage lasts for 1 minute (unless we dismiss it earlier, are knocked unconscious, fail to attack a target on our turn or taken damage during such) and while it's on, we cannot cast spells. For now, we can Rage twice before taking a long rest.

Level 8 - Barbarian: We gain Danger Sense, to better detect hostility. If we're not blinded, deafened or incapacitated, we have an advantage on Dexterity saving throws for effects we can see, such as traps and spells.

We can also forget about defence when making a Reckless Attack. When making our first attack on our turn, we can choose to do it recklessly. This gives us an advantage on melee weapon attacks that use Strength on our turn, but until the end of our next turn, all attacks made against us also have an advantage.

Level 9 - Barbarian: We can now Rage three times per long rest.

We also get to pick our second subclass, our Primal Path. And this is the moment where we get our Athenian warriors with the Path of the Ancestral Guardian. With Ancestral Protectors, we can call upon spectral warriors of the past which hinder the attacks of the first creature we hit while Raging. Until the end of our next turn, the target has a disadvantage on all attacks that aren't against us and when other creatures attack the target, they gain resistance to the damage type of the attack they make.

Level 10 - Barbarian: Halfway through the build and we're getting another ASI. We're gonna raise our Dexterity by 2 points.

Level 11 - Barbarian: Normally, we would've gained Extra Attack here, but we've already got it from our Paladin levels and they do not stack. We do, however, get Fast Movement which increases our movement speed by 10 feet provided we're not wearing heavy armour.

Level 12 - Barbarian: We can now Rage up to four times per long rest.

We get a new subclass upgrade. With Spirit Shield, our ancestral spirits now provide aid to those we defend. While we're raging, and a creature we can see within 30 feet of us takes damage, we can reduce the damage by 2d6.

Level 13 - Barbarian: At this point, our Feral Instincts are so sharp we have an advantage on our Initiative rolls.

Level 14 - Barbarian: Time for another ASI. Let's round up our Strength and put the other point into Dexterity.

Level 15 - Barbarian: Our additional damage while raging now becomes a +3.

We now get a Brutal Critical. Whenever we score a critical hit (Natural 20), apart from doubling our weapon damage die, we roll one more of the same die and add it to the score.

Level 16 - Barbarian: At this point, our Spirit Shield reduces the damage dealt to our allies by 3d6.

We also get another subclass upgrade. With Consult the Spirits, we can now use our ancestral warriors to cast either the Augury or Clairvoyance spells without a spell slot or material components once per short or long rest.

Level 17 - Barbarian: With Relentless Rage, we can now fight despite death. If we drop to 0 Hit Points while raging (and don't get damaged enough to insta-kill us), we can make a DC 10 Constitution saving throw and gain 1 Hit Point on a success. Each time we use this feature after the first, the DC raises by 5 and resets after we finish a short or long rest.

Level 18 - Barbarian: We get the final ASI of the build and we put two points into our Dexterity. We can also now Rage five times before rest.

Level 19 - Barbarian: Our Brutal Critical increases to two additional dice when scoring a Natural 20.

Level 20 - Barbarian: We end with Barbarian 14, which ends with another subclass upgrade. With Vengeful Ancestors, we can truly pull the Uno Reverse Card. When we use our Spirit Shield (which now reduces damage by 4d6), besides just reducing damage, the spirits now deal force damage to the target, equal to the damage prevented.

---

And that is Eda Athena, the Owl Lady! Let's see what we got:

To start off, we're a tank with many protection options for both us and our allies. With increased movement, advantages on initiative and damage-dealing rolls, plus some protection spells, we can easily lead and strategize.

With a half-plate and a shield our AC is 17, we have a +2 to our Initiative, 40 feet of movement, and an average HP of 175.

Unfortunately, our spell repertoire is not great, negative modifier to our Intelligence (if you want to fix that, be sure to hunt for the Headband of Intellect), and no ability maxed to 20.

---

Okay, I think this is not a bad build. As always, treat these as suggestions and modify your own builds as you please. I hope you've enjoyed yourselves and I'll see you in the next one!

- Nerdy out!

#smite #hirez smite #protector aasimar #aasimar #dnd build #dnd #d&d 5e #dungeons and dragons #greek gods #athena #paladin #oath of the crown #barbarian #ancestral guardian

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

If you find me on the edge, we’ll jump together.

Pirate au pt 4

azriel was so insanely close to sucker punching berdara. but unfortunately the bargain forbid him from hurting her until after they found the huge hall

he was heading towards his own ship when gwyneth stopped him. “pick your best men I can fit 5 maximum of you on my ship” 

“and why exactly are we taking your ship” 

“and why are you determined to be difficult” he nearly laughed at that, him difficult when she had spent the last 10 minutes toying with him at every chance. 

“I am determined to be fair, we’ll play for it” 

that peaked her interest as her eyes went wide “sword fighting, combat, cards, good old fashioned fists?!?” what was with this girl and fighting.

“uh no I was going to suggest rock paper scissors.” 

“who hurt you to make you so damn boring” 

“who made you a masochist” 

gwyneth didn’t falter for a second “wouldn’t you like to know” she said with a lazy grin

“so majesty are we going to play or not?” 

“best of three”

she put her fist up in answer. 

once again I’ll cut to the chase, after many rounds and accused cheatings azriel won 

“Oh fuck off” she grumbled while he smirked triumphantly 

“that’s not very nice gwyneth” obviously her response was to give him the finger

“bite me” 

“don’t give me any ideas” 

“do what you need to do we leave at dawn” 

“you’re going to be a delight on my ship aren’t you” 

“always am” with that they went back to their respective crews and ships to prepare. 

now that she had left to her own ship azriel thought over what had just happened. he wasn’t so much of a fool that he couldn’t admit she was  beautiful, with hair of flaming locks and a slightly insane look in her eye. there was something about her that despite being incredibly violent she radiated a certain amount of joy. every insult, every quip was said with a bright smile on her face. and she had pinned him with an alarming amount of ease but he wouldn’t let that happen a second time

and fucking hell he had made a bargain. well he knew for sure this journey was going to be something else alright 

on the shadowsinger azriel made an announcement to his crew “everyone sit your asses down and listen up. 5 ladies from the silver majesty are coming aboard our ship to assist us in our search for the huge hall. I am under bargain that no harm will come to any of them, so by affiliation every person aboard the shadowsinger is under the same bargain. you have any questions, take it up with rhys and cassian. I have shit to do in preparation for this voyage and to make sure our other ‘business partners’ stay up and running in our absence. do not bother me” 

about an hour later he was once again alone in his chambers with his first mate and quartermaster. 

“so you really believe they can lead us to it” cassian asked

“I believe that she made a bargain and knows the severity of a bargain.” 

“you bound yourself to the captain of our biggest rival, who you currently want to murder, captain I trust you with my life but I hope you know what you’ve gotten us into” rhys ever the strategist 

I hope so to he thought instead he said “I have thought over every possible outcome and we will come out of this with the huge hall and their heads strung up like trophies nailed to the wall.” 

————— gwyn’s pov at the same moment—————

alright crew fortunately the shadowsinger is on board, pun not intended, unfortunately I lost rock paper scissors and now I will be choosing 5 of us to join them in our hunt for the huge hall. so Em, archeron, VIv, and cressieda you guys are coming with me, bring only as many weapons as you can fit on your person. nuala cerridwen you guys are in charge. if everything is not in order by the time I get back I will start slitting throats. there are instructions in my chambers. so fuck, drink, steal, kill you guys know the drill.” 

gwyn sat with nesta and emerie strategizing 

“how do you see this playing out” nesta asked 

“oh we are going to walk away from this bleeding money with the shadowsinger kneeling at our feet” 

------------------------back to azriel’s pov------------------------

azriel watched as for the first time since he had become a pirate, there were women on his ship indefinitely. to gwyneth’s right stood a tall slender women, with her hair in a simple braid, she was assessing his ship with eyes that looked far too old for her age

to berdara’s left was a thin women with eyes that cut through him, they were sharp and very resentful. she was devastatingly beautiful with two katanas at her hips. behind them were two women with white hair but their differences lay in their skin tone. one had the fair skin of the winter court while the other had dark skin that contrasted her hair marking her as from the summer court. 

azriel looked over to his own crew. cassian was starring at the female with the swords practically drooling over himself while rhys looked indifferent. 

lucien was also starring at the women to gwyneth’s left but he looked at her like he recognized her rather then whatever the fuck cassian was doing 

the women noticed cassian and immediately threw a dagger at his head. it didn’t miss by much. 

“hey!” cassian shouted. “if you had chopped off my hair I swear to fucking god I will rip out your throat like its nothing” 

the girl looked him up and down and ignored him. “really you could have killed me”

so obviously she threw another one. it fell right between his arm and ribs

“berdara can I have a word please?”

“of course”

“rhys please make sure they don’t kill each other” 

“no promises” he replied not looking up

gwyn followed him into his room. 

“so shadowsinger, what do you want to talk about?” she gave him a light punch on the shoulder. he glared at her

“what do I want to talk about? hmm how about that girl just threw a dagger at my quartermaster. twice!”

“ok 1 that girls name is nesta and 2 if she wanted him dead he would be. so I consider that a great success” gwyn smiled earnestly. 

“are you forgetting the bargain we just made?”

“clearly threats were not taking off the table or have you forgotten ‘i will dump you in the river’ or ‘i’m going to shoot you in the head’ or ‘i will leave your guts across the 7 courts’ etc. hers was just a little more physical thats all.” 

“well can you try to control your crew” cheap shot but worth it, until gwyn broke out into a fit of laughter.

“me? control nesta? I thought you said you’ve heard the stories, you must have heard about the time she climbed 6 mountains in 5 different courts to find a man who ripped her off by 2 coppers. coppers! and I was all ‘that’s my girl’  because if there was one thing I’ve learned in this business it would be that men will take every single opportunity to tear you down but they can’t do that if they don’t have limbs.” 

“great so your entire crew is just as insane as you are”

“we maybe insane but at least we aren’t crying over every dagger that comes within an inch of our hearts.” 

“yes I’m sorry we would rather not fucking die”

“oh poor you, you must be a truly terrible pirate if death doesn’t stop at your door every once in a while.” 

“you know I am very much regretting working with you at this moment”

“wait you aren’t in love with me? shocker.” gwyn’s whole demeanor changed and she brightened as if some realization struck. “but that reminds me I was told I need your help to find the treasure and I certainly don’t need more man power so how will you be contributing?”

“I had thought about that and I was think about something you-”

“aww you think about me?” azriel rolled his eyes

“I was thinking about something you said and I would like you to elaborate on the blank map.”

“no please?”

“please” he forced out 

“well my informant who found me the map has never been wrong before and my witch says it reeks of magic.” 

“you think its spelled.” 

“I do”

“and you think I am going to help you uncover the magic?”

“indubitably” azriel was kind of impressed by her certainty

“aren’t you?”

“yes” he grumbled

“thought so, I’m smart like that.” 

“of course you are perfect in every way possible” 

“look any other day I would love for you to shower me in accurate compliments but we are kind of on a time crunch” 

“yes majesty”

“you know what its kind of growing on me, I too consider myself a queen” 

az ignored that and went to his closet. he opened the doors and unlocked the safe taking out the only thing in there. it was a small vile that contained a vibrant blue liquid. he gently carried it over to gwyn

“this is the last liquid fashioned by the last pheonix to ever exist”

“oh my fucking god you have pheonix piss” gwyn was practically jumping with glee. 

“I mean I wouldn’t exactly put it that way but yes, the liquid of the pheonix was said to act as a serum to reveal ones truth. it should be powerful enough to break through any ward or spell. and while mostly used on people it should work on objects too.”

“wait wait wait, that could get you millions and you’re going to use it on this??”

“who’s drooling now? yes it could but this hall could get me more and I’d prefer it not in the hands of certain people.”  

“alright I mean not really how I operate but it’s yours so you can do whatever you want with it.” “glad you approve, map?” gwyn cautiously pulled out the blank map and set it down on the table. 

he opened the vile and began to pour it over the map, praying that this would not be in vain. the vile had cost him greatly. he looked down and gwyn stole the words from his mouth “holy fucking shit.”

#gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel #pirate au #acosf #my babies #I do be lacking the motivation to write so part 5 might be in a while

[thevirgodoll]

hi! i was wondering if you have any tips to stay organized and stay on task? i’ve been doing a short online course this year and have really struggled to ACTUALLY bring myself to do the work, as assignments and lessons are not under any time constraints i just don’t do it. i also have adhd so get bored or distracted easily. do you have any tips for me?

This is really close to me because I also have ADHD. I have both inattentive and hyperactive type. *As a result, this academic tip guide will be a guide for people with ADHD and not neurotypical people, without disability. There is a difference.*

I am doing online as well this semester.

1. I create a schedule. If I do not create a schedule, I will be unproductive the entire day. So, what will help you is to do things in orderly fashion.

For example, at 12p - I will do this assignment/watch this lecture. You have to dictate what time you’re doing everything. Then, you also have to block out technology distractions while you are working. 

-> Even if you’ve gotten halfway through the day with no schedule, write down or block off times on your digital calendar for what you are going to do at each time. ADHD is easier to tackle if you break things down into smaller tasks.

*Pro tip that I almost forgot: before you do anything, wear your day clothes. Don’t wear pajamas. Actually getting dressed or even doing hair/makeup changes things.

2. Download the Forest app after you have created your schedule. I consistently recommend this because it works in increasing productivity. It allows you to set it for however long you’re doing this task, say 30 minutes.

-> Why?: It will block all apps on your phone for (insert time here) to plant a tree, and if you leave the app your “tree” will die. Eventually, the more sessions you do, the more points you will gain to plant different plants, and eventually plant real trees around the world.

3. Have a list (& a planner) as well. Not only is the schedule creating structure, but the list creates even more structure so you know what you need to get done for the day. It also helps you not fall victim to the classic symptom of forgetting. Each day, you should write down what you WANT to get done and create your own times to look at lecture and assignments. Have goals for the day.

For example: complete assignment 2.

If you do not have expectations with yourself before the day begins, your ADHD will kind of take over and do something else. I have structure to my day. I set a timer to wake up at the same time. I take my ADHD medicine 90 minutes before my final wake up time, and I do my morning routine once it kicks in. Having the same routine helps.

-> Focus on your goals. Don’t be super harsh about the times.

-> Don’t overwhelm with how many things on to do list. Again, break it up into small tasks. For example, one part being: Wash dishes or fold laundry. It makes it less overwhelming to your brain and gives you a choice of which task. Typical non ADHD people just tell you to prioritize tasks but that doesn’t work for us. Do it in a random order and it gets the job done.

4. TAKE BREAKS! The other side to this is making sure that you give yourself adequate breaks.

*For hyperfocus, wait til your hyperfocus has started to wear off. Use it to your advantage for peak productivity. It is no joke.*

-> The misconception is that some people with ADHD are lazy and as a result, some ADHDers won’t take breaks. You can take a break. Healthy, long breaks do more for you long term.

-> Have a timer set. For example, after a 45 minute session or an hour session, I will take a break to do another task that has nothing to do with studying, like laundry, eating a snack, or stretching. Then after that task is done, I will go back to studying.

5. Have a workspace. Only do work at this space. I do schoolwork at my living room table and it is perfect. I do not study in my room because that is my sanctuary for relaxation and rest, not productivity. Make an effort to make the workspace clean, with your supplies - laptop, notebooks, pens, etc - readily available.

-> Once I get to my workspace, everything for the morning is already done. I’ve done my morning routine, so all there is left to do is hydrate while I study.

6. Recognize if you have adequate energy to do the task. Sometimes, with ADHD you may neglect your needs. If you are not getting enough rest, here are some tips:

•Bed should be for rest only.

•Blackout curtains

•Lavender essential oil, I have a diffuser but you can also put it on your pillow

•Background noise: pick what you want, lo fi music, rain sounds, binaural beats, singing bowls

•If all else fails, ADHD is often comorbid with other illnesses, meaning you could have a form of depression causing insomnia for example. This should be considered if you are having long term issues and symptoms.

7. Don’t overdo it. We are not neurotypical. Executive dysfunction is real - meaning our brains actually shut down when it perceives a task to be mundane.

-> You do not have to fit everything into one schedule for the sake of being “productive”. Each day should be what you know you can do, and there are different days to tackle different goals.

-> When you feel like you cannot continue, which is literally a symptom of ADHD, sit still for a few minutes.

8. Have a “What I Did Today” List. Because of how ADHD actually makes us feel, we don’t realize how much work we have put in. ADHD actually can be explained easily, we have about 2 dopamine workers showing up to work while most people are at maximum capacity. We are working overtime to do our best, even on medicine. So, acknowledging what we did today is good and encouraging, or at least reflecting in a journal.

9. Play music. It’s recommended to play study music without words because with ADHD we will submerge ourselves into the playlist of nostalgic 90s R&B. I recommend lo fi hip hop on YouTube, video game instrumentals, classical music, or jazz instrumentals. Whatever gets you going just do it!

General ADHD tips:

•Rewrite lecture notes and type the lecture notes.

•Color code with bright colors and pretty drawings or calligraphy

•Instead of telling yourself “I need to take notes” which usually leads to procrastination say “Rewrite lecture notes and emphasize main points” ... this is useful in your to do list but in everyday goals

•Generally try to get your assignments done ahead of time if there is structure to certain courses, if not, again, stick to the schedule. If you slip one day off your schedule then don’t beat yourself up. Breathe!!!

•Side effect of most ADHD meds is that you’re not hungry so buy easy things to eat like muscle milk or yogurt and granola or smoothies so you can sustain yourself

•Get a dry erase board to show what you need to do for the day and put it on the fridge with command strips

•To avoid forgetting things, put them at a table near the door where you leave your apartment/dorm/house.

•Don’t overthink the time it takes to get ready, often that’s why ADHDers are late. Better to be super early than late though - have a routine set so you know how long each task takes - for example “I know a shower takes me 15 mins, washing my face takes 60 seconds and a few more including sunscreen/moisturizer, etc...”

•In that same grain, set timers for going to the bathroom, showering, etc just in case you one day hyperfocus and push yourself too far

•Open the blinds!!!!

•Clean your room and tidy up your space. A cluttered space impacts your mental health in a really negative way. Your space reflects your mental state at times as well, so check in with yourself. Have a specific day where you know you’re going to clean, but ADHD sometimes gives us bursts of cleaning so take advantage of that as well.

•Anytime your water bottle empties refill it. Have your water bottle or mason jar next to your workspace, and drink 5-10 gulps. Seriously. ADHD depends a lot on hydration, especially if you are on medicine which naturally dehydrates you. If you do not stay hydrated, you’ll get that massive headache mid day and crash sooner. A lot of times, lack of productivity can be due to not drinking enough water.

•If you don’t take medication, then sometimes you may notice you love coffee, and that’s because it’s a stimulant. Too much of anything is not good, but balance it with water. If you’re going to use coffee to kinda “medicate” then do it close to when you’re going to be productive.

•Setting yourself up to do a task rather than envisioning the overwhelming act of doing the entire action. “Okay, lets just get up and get the first step down, such as opening the laptop or wetting the toothbrush.” Baby steps.

•Take advantage of accommodations! Your college more than likely has an Office of Disability Services. Also, email your professors...they’re actually just as stressed as you about classes being online.

•Remember that you’re already trying as hard as you can, so don’t listen to the narrative of “try harder”, “you’re *r word*”, “you’re cheating by using medication”, “just do it,” “it’s easy,” “what’s so hard about it?” or “you’re lazy”. Anyone telling you that, even yourself, is wrong. And DO NOT allow anyone to be ableist, even yourself.

•Validate yourself. Don’t let anyone to do the “I experience that too”/“I know what you mean”/“we ALL have trouble with this!” and they don’t have ADHD. No. It’s our experience, it’s valid, and unlike anything on the planet. If you’re reading this and you don’t have ADHD - no, you do not experience any of the things in my next bullet point.

•Don’t be hard on yourself if you stumble along the way getting this right. ADHD completely changes your executive functioning.

We see the task, but our brain blocks it.

We have something marked down as “important” but our brain tosses it out in the “trash”.

We watch an entire episode of a show, but our brain ignored the entire thing. Our brain picks and chooses what is stimulating, our brain changes our interests.

We have sensory overload, we have no dopamine, we have bursts of curiosity that cannot be contained (often inconvenient) and if interrupted, our brains cannot take it.

People often discount how many things ADHD actually changes because it’s widely misunderstood. I want to take the time to acknowledge that ADHD, formerly known as simply ADD, has different types: primarily inattentive, primarily hyperactive-impulsive, or combined which is what I have. So it’s not “hyper” and “relatable”. It is also not a buzzword to use to describe things. I must put stereotypes and misrepresentations of ADHD to rest.

It impacts us emotionally as well, which most people don’t know... such as rejection dysphoria — extreme sensitivity to being criticized to where our brains self destruct. Our brains don’t regulate emotions well.

ADHDers - do not fall victim to how everyone else operates and call yourself a failure. We have to work twice as hard and the results actually come out brilliant especially with our determination and imaginative ideas that are also seen in autistic individuals, honorable mention!

There’s good days and bad days. There’s literal changes in thinking that other people do not experience. We all collectively know wouldn’t be who we are without ADHD, but we all recognize the challenges. However, it makes me happy to see messages like this so that I can make a difference and hopefully help one person with ADHD, especially of color, at a time stop being so hard on themselves. 💗

#answered #mental health #adhd #actuallyadhd #studyblr #save

[streetlight11]

Somebody to you

Summary: Going on a school trip with your best friends is something you've ever wanted but luck wasn't on your side. Not only were you going to see your childhood enemy on the trip, but you had to share cabins with him due to unfortunate circumstances on your end. How would the trip turn out?

Theme: College au, enemies to lovers

Genre: a little angsty, slightly suggestive but nothing too serious, fluff ending 

WC: 7.8k

Pairing: Jeong Yunho x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hey there :) This one is a little longer than my other fics. Tell me if there's any mistakes! Anyways, hope you like it :))) 

“Okay everyone, so as you may all know, the school has decided to let a few selected classes from each course go on a field trip to the mountain lodge where you will get to take part in fun activities such as skiing. Those classes who are not selected for this trip will be going on a different trip respectively since they could not accommodate a whole resort for the entire school.”

The school’s principal said through the loud speaker, announcing the school trip to everyone on campus. After he called out the selected classes for each trip, the students were visibly excited. But even then, somehow, two students from two different classes couldn’t help but frown as they both let out a defeated sigh.

The thought of seeing each other on campus was already disappointing enough. But to be stuck on a resort with the other, definitely never crossed their minds. After class was dismissed, you packed your bags too slowly for Jennie’s liking as the older girl tapped your nose teasingly.

“Hey. What’s with the face? You okay?” Jennie asked.

“No? It’s already bad enough that I see his face here everyday. Why do I have to see him again for the trip?” You said in an annoyed tone, causing Lisa to exchange a knowing look with Jennie.

“Are you talking about Yunho?” Lisa asked, a small sympathetic smile appeared on her face.

“Who else?” You puffed your cheeks. You three soon left the classroom, only for Jennie to speak up. “Oh come on, Y/N… Let’s ignore him and just enjoy this trip, hmm? Besides, look on the bright side! Yeri, Jihyo, Sana, Chungha and Mina will be there too!” You could only groan, making the two girls laugh.

By now, everyone knew the two Tom and Jerry on campus. You would never go a day without at least one verbal fight with him. You had just entered the cafeteria, finding for an empty table when you spotted him from afar with your eagle eyes.

You internally groaned when he happened to turn towards your direction as though he knew you were right there.

Yunho gave you a cold stare before turning back to his friends, allowing his smile to reappear on his face as if nothing happened. You continued your day as usual, despite not looking forward to the trip that was set to due in a week's time. 

The week passed by pretty fast as you were unfortunately running late due to morning traffic. When you arrived on campus, you were at least 20 minutes late. However, apparently everyone was already given the chance to find a partner for each room and there were a total of 32 cabin houses that could accommodate a maximum of 9 people in each house.

You looked around to find your friends, but you nearly dropped your bags when you realized that they already had 9 people. With two girls whom you weren’t close with but you recognized them to be Yeri’s classmates. Jennie and Jihyo frowned, mouthing a series of ‘sorry’s and also saying that the headmaster didn’t give them a choice to wait for you.

You shook your head and smiled, telling them that it was okay. 

Just then, the headmaster turned to the latecomers only to speak up. “Do all of you have a cabin to join?” The 6 students shook their heads. Just then, a familiar voice spoke up from just two rows down.

“She can room with us. We have one extra spot left.” This made you turn your head, only to lock eyes with Jeong Yunho. Of course you would never agree to staying in a cabin together with him, but at that current moment, you had to weigh the pros and cons.

It’s either you stay with complete strangers who may or may not be the best of people or stay with an enemy whom you know almost your whole life and suffer with him for the next one week until the trip ends. What could possibly go wrong.

Eh, what the heck.

“Sure, I’ll stay with them.” You said as the headmaster nods, pointing his hand towards Yunho’s group of friends.

You hesitantly walked up to them but the minute you stepped foot in their circle, Yunho was quick to speak up.

“Just because I helped you, doesn’t mean I don’t hate you anymore.”

“Oh, I didn’t ask for your help anyway. And, don’t worry, I still hate you.” You said. Yunho made a face at you, earning a roll of your eyes. The rest of them who witnessed this couldn’t help but glance back and forth between the two enemies.

They were soon heading off class by class respectively. At this point, you were thankful that you could finally reunite with your best friends instead of being stuck with him.

The journey to the mountains took at least 4 hours but it was worth it.

When they arrived at the resort, it was a lot more beautiful than in the brochures. Everyone left the buses in awe at the spectacular scenery. Since it was almost the start of winter season, snow already began to coat the mountains and the roads in that area. 

The temperature was cold and breezy, making them wear warm protective clothings. You got excited when you saw the skiing park right beside the resort, pulling Lisa and Jennie over to the railings. “Wow look!” You gasped with a bright smile on your face. Both Lisa and Jennie did the same as they watched the people ski down the slopes professionally.

After they’ve all entered the main lobby of the ski resort, the headmaster made an announcement.

“Alright everyone. When the staff calls out your name, please come and collect the keys to your cabins. I’ve already told the staff workers here to label and assign each cabin to the respective groups according to what you chose earlier. After I have dismissed everyone, you are free to roam around, explore this resort before going to the main food hall for lunch. I will give you about an hour and a half of free time. Do I make myself clear?”

Everyone responded in unison and soon, the staff member began to call out the names of the student representing each cabin to come forward and collect the keys. After everyone was done, they soon dispersed to go to their cabins.

You stuck with your friends as you followed them to their cabin. Unfortunately, their cabin was at least 5 blocks away. Making it difficult for you to even sneak out and go to their cabin at night like you planned. Nevertheless, the cabin interior looked really nice and cosy. The wooden interior makes it even more warm and spacious.

“Wow! It’s so pretty!”

“This is nothing like the pictures!”

“I wish we could live here together.” 

A series of compliments were thrown the minute they entered the house. You were excited to stay in these kinds of cabins despite knowing you wouldn’t be sharing it with these bunch of people. The girls were about to explore more when you spoke up.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to it. Text me if you guys are going anywhere fun!” You laughed.

“I’m so sorry Y/N! I really hoped for all of us to stay together.” Jihyo apologized, making you shake your head.

“It’s fine. We’re gonna see each other often during the activities anyway.” You said before you waved goodbye to them, leaving the cabin to go to your designated one on the other side of the resort. When you were just 4 feet away, you could already see the shoes scattered around the doorstep, making you sigh.

You didn’t have anything against the guys, because it was quite easy to say that you knew most of them on a name basis just that you aren’t close friends. However, the only person you knew the longest but also happens to be your enemy since high school, was obviously Yunho.

So when you pushed the door open, you immediately took in the wonderful pinewood smell of the gorgeous cabin. Completely ignoring the excited males running around the lodge.

“Oh, Y/N. Hey.” Hongjoong acknowledged you first, causing the rest to do the same.

You gave them a small smile followed by a nod before entering the cabin further. Once you were standing in the living room, just staring at Seonghwa who was wrestling Yeosang, a voice spoke up from the steps. “All the rooms have only one bed each, 3 queens and 1 king. We’ve already decided who rooms with who.” Yunho announced coldly.

“And…?” You paused, urging him to continue.

“And? Isn’t it already obvious who you’re rooming with? The boys figured you wouldn’t be comfortable sharing a room with someone you didn’t know. But I’m taking the bed. You can sleep on the couch.” Yunho said. You rolled your eyes, proceeding to walk in his direction before you came to a stop in front of him.

“I’d rather sleep in the kitchen instead of sharing the bed with you.”

“Be my guest.” He taunts. You could only growl before heading up the stairs. 

Hours went by in a flash and it was already dinner time. You were already exhausted from the activities you did earlier in the day. Already planning to take a shower and head to bed the minute you reach the cabin.

A few minutes later after everyone was dismissed from dinner to head back to their cabins and rest, as promised, you immediately went to your shared room with Yunho only to unpack your things and organize them a little before heading for a shower. You didn’t realize it had been almost an hour and it was nearly time for the lights to be out. 

Students were told to turn their lights off and sleep by 10pm. It was already 9:47pm. Yunho was downstairs with everyone else, probably still playing games.

You decided to take a quick warm shower. Taking only your towel and phone with you. You completely missed out your new clean clothes, thinking you could just get them later after the shower. About a good half an hour later, you had just stepped out of the bathtub shower completely wet but definitely fresh.

You reached for the towel on the rack and soon towel dried your body slightly before wrapping it around your body. You turned off your phone and left the bathroom. However, what you didn’t expect to see was a room filled with guys. You shrieked upon seeing them, making them flinch as they turned around to look at you.

“What the hell are you all doing in my room?!” You nearly screamed from both annoyance and embarrassment.

“This is my room too, darling.” Yunho said with a smug look on his face.

“And didn’t you say you were hanging out downstairs?”

“Mr Kwon was going around doing his rounding duties.” Mingi said bashfully, eyes clearly respecting your almost naked figure just desperately clutching onto your towel for your dear life.

“And why of all the rooms, you chose this one?”

“Because I said so?” Yunho replied for Mingi, making you scowl.

“Have I mentioned I hate you?”

“Not today actually, no.”

“The least you could do was warn me, Yunho.” You loudly whispered.

He rolled his eyes at you thickly. The room fell silent but you were still staring at your bag that was placed perfectly beside San on the ground. You wanted to tell them to leave but you thought it might be a bit rude considering you weren't exactly friends with them.

Somehow, Yunho could sense your uncertainty. With that being said, he got up from the bed and walked over to your luggage on the floor. He took the carrier and brought it over to you by the bathroom door. “Here. No need to thank me.” He said before turning back to go to his friends.

You couldn’t help but stare at his descending back, unsure as to why you suddenly felt a weird pull in your stomach. You ignored the feeling and soon disappeared back into the bathroom to change into a pair of sweatpants, a shirt and a thick hoodie.

You came back out a few minutes later with slightly dryer hair since you spent about 10 minutes blow drying it. You placed the luggage back beside San, taking out your charger and plugged it on the side table. When you turned around, the boys were still chatting and playing their card game only to speak up to Wooyoung and Seonghwa who were sitting on the side opposite Yunho.

“Move elsewhere. I’m trying to sleep unlike you owls.” You groaned as the two boys scurried away to sit nearer towards the centre of the mattress. 

Once you climbed onto the bed, Yunho raised his eyebrow up in question.

“Uhh, who said you’re sleeping here? You’re taking the couch.” Yunho said firmly with a hint of irritation in his voice but you couldn’t care less. “In your dreams.” You said as you turned to let your back face them under the covers.

You didn’t see his burning glare, closing your eyes to sleep. 

You fell into a deep slumber within 5 minutes, you felt lethargic as it took over your body almost immediately. A few minutes went by, the boys were still in the room playing a series of games from both card games to truth or dares. Remembering to keep their voices at a minimum. They were half way through playing Uno when they heard a shuffle coming from behind Seonghwa.

They watched as you rolled over in your sleep, only to face them.

But what made them feel so endeared by it was the way you laid. You were laying on your side, one hand tucked under the pillow. The other rested in front of your face, in a way covering your face.

Your hair draped over your face while your lips parted open very slightly. There was a few stifled laughter filling the room, only for Wooyoung to speak up in a hushed tone. “How is she so cold and feisty when she’s awake but so cute and vulnerable when she’s asleep?”

“I know right? Look at her.” Hongjoong giggled softly.

“You cannot not tell me you don’t find her attractive, even the slightest bit.” Yeosang directed his question to Yunho who was seen staring at your peaceful figure.

“I don’t know if I can answer you…” Yunho whispered.

The guys smiled as they continued playing the game. About half an hour later, Hongjoong was the first to urge the rest to head to bed since it was already late and that they should let you rest.

They left the room, not forgetting to clean the room after themselves. The minute everyone was out the door with only Yunho left in the room, he turned around to look at your sleeping figure. Yunho very quietly made his way to you, only to stop behind you. He carefully reached up, letting his hand hover over your face for a second.

He let out a soft sigh before he gently tucked your stray hairs behind your ear. Careful not to wake you up. Yunho couldn’t help but stare at you for a little while longer before he spoke up very quietly to no one in particular.

“What are you doing to me, Y/N?”

You stirred awake in the middle of the night, feeling the urgent need to use the bathroom. You got up groggily, only to shuffle your way to the bathroom. After you were done, you stepped out of the bathroom only to turn the lights off and head back to the bed. However, before you could lay back down, you saw Yunho curled up on the couch. From where you stood, his back was facing you but he looked fairly cold as his body was shivering slightly.

Despite the heaters in the cabin, the cold breeze from outside still managed to seep into the cabin.

You didn’t know why but you felt bad seeing him in that state. You wished you could just wake him up and call him into bed but you were afraid he might feel uncomfortable with it. So you opted to just take two of your jackets, one thick jacket and one full length windbreaker.

You quietly made your way to him, only to drape both jackets over his frame. He shifted in his sleep but never woke up. You carefully went back to bed, giving him one last glance before laying back down again.

5 hours later, Yunho woke up to a weird feeling of warmth engulfing his whole body. He remembered the night to be cold. For all he knew he was shivering last night. Yunho fluttered his eyes open, looking around to see what was the cause of warmth. That’s when he notices the pile of jackets on top of his frame.

He knew for a fact that it wasn’t his. With that being said, he glanced behind him only to see you still fast asleep on the bed. He couldn’t help but smile as he got up to take a shower.

Minutes turned into hours, they were all gathered by the ski lodge to go snowboarding. They stood according to the people in each cabin. You were standing between Jongho and Yeosang, while Yunho stood behind you.

They managed to follow the safety guidelines correctly, only for you to join your friends instead of sticking with the boys. They of course didn’t stop you from going. However, that doesn’t mean Yunho would choose to stop keeping his eye on you from afar. Others might think he’s just figuring out ways to torment you and cause you to make a fool out of herself since they always fought with one another.

But in reality, he was keeping an eye on you to make sure you never hurt yourself because after last night, he suddenly had a change of heart towards you. He just doesn’t want to admit it yet. You were racing down the hill with Yeri a few feet behind you, wanting to challenge each other to see who could win.

You were reaching the bottom but you didn’t notice the boulder ledge right in front of you until a voice called out to you from ahead. It was Chungha and Mina.

“Y/N, watch out!”

You didn’t have enough time to react, your nervousness took over the board as it began to wobble. You were just about to hit the boulder when somebody came swooping in from your left, toppling you over the hill instead of the ledge. Your heart jumped out of your chest as a scream left your lips.

You couldn’t even bother to see who saved you from plunging to your death as your bodies tumbled down the hill mercilessly. But the person who saved you, was holding you tightly against them. Putting a hand behind your head to protect it. Just when you finally rolled to a stop, that’s when you carefully pulled away. 

You could hear a whole series of voices calling out to them but you couldn’t care less.

You were about to thank whoever that saved you but your words got stuck in your throat when you realized who it was. You were laying on top of him with your hands tucked between your chests. His arms were wrapped around your body, keeping you close to him. Snowflakes coated his hair and little on his face, probably the same for you.

Your faces were just inches away from each other but nobody wanted to pull away. “Are… Are you okay?” Yunho asked softly.

“Y-Yeah… you?”

“Mhm.”

With that, you carefully got off him. While Mingi and Hongjoong helped Yunho up, Jennie and Sana rushed over to help you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You asked him again, definitely not buying his answer since he practically took most of the hit. You knew he was at least in a mild pain but he put up a strong front. “I’m fine… really.” Yunho said. And for the first time ever, he flashed you a genuine smile that somewhat made you feel something in the pit of your stomach.

After dinner, they all headed back to the cabin where the boys were all tired and agreed to rest early for the night. Yunho showered first before letting you use the bathroom. Needless to say, the two of you didn’t argue much ever since the incident earlier. You simply talked to each other when you needed to.

You left the shower wearing a hoodie and a pair of loose pyjama pants. Yunho was just taking a few pillows from the bed when you stopped him.

“Yunho… uhh, you can take the bed. I’m not sleeping yet.” You said. Of course he took this chance to sleep on the bed, he did feel unsure if he should let you sleep on the couch. Before he could say anything, you left the room not forgetting to remind him again slightly louder.

“Sleep on the bed.” You soon closed the bedroom door only to head downstairs to make yourself a cup of tea. You could feel yourself starting to catch a cold, hoping the tea could cure your sickness.

You didn’t know how long it had been since you went downstairs. After what felt like forever, you finally went to wash your mug before going back up.

You came back to find Yunho lightly snoring on the queen sized bed. The cabin was still chilly despite the heaters so he had a hoodie on. The thick duvet covered up to his waist. He was laying with his stomach down, arms tucked under the pillow to support his head. He was facing the couch but he looked too pure and peaceful for you to even feel creeped out.

You found yourself smiling softly at him before going over to the couch. You laid there for a moment before you too fell asleep.

It was almost 4 hours later that he woke up to go to the bathroom. He turned off the bathroom lights and closed the door, ready to head back to bed when he saw you on the couch. You looked like you were shivering even though you had a thick hoodie on.

Yunho’s lips tugged into a smile as he walked up to you only to stop behind your figure. He shook his head softly at you before carefully slipping his arms underneath your knees and torso. Yunho swiftly lifts you off the couch, earning a very light groan from you. He carried you all the way to the bed, tucking you underneath the duvet before climbing in beside you.

Once he was sharing the space with you, Yunho gently pulled you against him until you were practically side hugging him. After he managed to find a comfortable position for both of you, that’s when he finally relaxed. He made you rest your head on his shoulder while his other arm rests on top of his chest. 

Your right hand was tucked between your bodies while your left arm was draped over his stomach.

Immediately, the warmth was too nice to ignore as he soon fell asleep not before planting a very chaste kiss onto the top of your head. Yunho had no idea why he did that. He just felt like doing it.

The next morning, you woke up to an unusual warmth hugging your body. You never felt this warm during the previous morning when you woke up. You thought it was the heater’s work so you instantly relaxed further into the warmth. Just then, you felt a soft squeeze on your waist, making you open your eyes.

You carefully looked down to see an arm hugging your waist from the back. You didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. Just this alone was enough to make your cheeks flush red.

You mentally shook your thoughts away before you cautiously slipped out of his grasp to take a shower and got ready for breakfast. Thankfully, neither of you acknowledged it to avoid any awkwardness.

Hours went by and the activities today were less tiring but it did drain a bit of their energies. The boys were quite charged that night as all 8 of them gathered in the lounge area of their cabin. It was already half past eleven at night. The boys were just playing Jenga when Wooyoung noticed a figure stepping foot on the ground step by the stairs.

“Oh, Y/N. Are we being too loud?” He asked with a slight crinkle in his face, afraid of you lashing out. But instead, you smiled while shaking your head.

“No… I just… I couldn’t sleep…” You admitted to it shyly, fiddling with the hem of your hoodie before looking up to accidentally lock eyes with Yunho. Just then, Yeosang spoke up, asking if you wanted to join them. It took you less than a second to nod in agreement, making Yunho scoot over a little before patting down the space beside him.

Minutes ticked by as you watched them play, occasionally joining in. However, your eyes started to become droopy. Sleep was slowly taking over you as your head felt light with each passing minute.

Just then, right when Mingi was about to pull out the Jenga wood, Yunho felt a sudden weight on his left shoulder making him glancing down. That’s when he saw you resting your head on top of his shoulder. Since he couldn’t see if your eyes were closed or not, Yunho gently pat Jongho’s thigh who was seated on his right.

“Is she asleep?” Yunho whispered. The younger boy leaned over to take a peek. Curiously enough, the rest did the same.

“Yeap.” Jongho said softly in return, a smile gracing his lips. Yunho felt your hand grow limp on his sides before it dropped to his upper thigh, close to his hip bone. He glanced back up to see the rest of them smirking and giving him suggestive looks before one by one began to tease him.

“Looks like you’re finally weak for her huh?”

“Are you sure you hate her? You definitely don’t look like you do.”

“Sure, push her away if you hate her.”

“Do you need us to give you more proof that you’re actually in love with her?” Yunho simply glared at all of them, hoping you didn't hear any of this and thankfully, you didn’t.

About an hour later, everyone was heading to bed so while everyone was going to clear up the mess, the boys told Yunho to bring you upstairs. Yunho gently woke you up, shaking your arm softly.

“Y/N? Hey… wake up. Let’s go sleep upstairs, hmm?” His voice soothing to the ears. You stirred awake only to tilt your head up, too tired to realize how close your lips were. But of course, Yunho was too awake to notice the distance.

“Let’s go back to our room.” Yunho said as you nodded, struggling to stand up. Once you managed to find your balance, you made your way up with him to make sure you didn’t accidentally hurt yourself while going up the stairs.

Once they were both in your rooms, you walked over to the couch, making him stop you. “Woah, where are you going?”

“The couch?”

“What? Why?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“I thought you didn’t want me to sleep on the bed?” You asked, clearly still groggy from the nap. This made him let out a soft chuckle before walking to you. Yunho slides his hand around your waist only to guide you to the bed. If you were slightly more awake, you would have turned into a blushing mess. Once he sat you on the bed, he urged you to sleep.

“Then, where are you sleeping?” You asked with a small pout on your lip. Damn, you were making it so hard for him. “It’s okay. Just sleep. I’m not gonna do anything.”

“No, no, I know… It’s just… I want you to sleep with me… I mean, share the bed. It’s not too comfortable on the couch to be honest.” You finally admitted, making him smile. Yunho couldn’t help but chuckle softly at your words even though it was the most innocent thing he’s ever heard from you.

He gave in to your request, quickly taking off the hoodie he was wearing, only to leave the thin sweater he was wearing underneath. He soon climbed into bed after turning off the main lights in the room.

The minute he laid down on the mattress, you instantly craved for his warmth just like the night before.

Yunho allowed you to lay however you wanted, resorting to your head on his chest while your hands were hugging his torso. He could feel your legs tangle with his. The warmth engulfing you nicely. The both of you soon fell asleep without even waking up in the middle of the night unlike the previous nights.

The next morning, you both stirred awake around the same time. Neither of you realized the position they slept in until you moved your head slightly to feel his lips brush against yours. You were laying on your back with him on his side, so close to you as he hugged your waist.

Initially, your head was turned away from him but when you woke up, you turned your head to the opposite side. That’s when your lips accidentally brushed over his. Your heart almost leaped out of your chest while he grew awake when he felt that small skin ship. The room fell quiet for a second, simply just staring at each other. You were the first to pull away, climbing out of bed to excuse yourself to shower.

A few hours later, they had just gone back from husky sledding and ice karting. They were all gathered to eat dinner. Yunho was seated with his friends while you sat with your friends a few rows down from him.

But from where he sat, they could clearly see each other. Halfway through dinner, the host announced a quick game of run and hide. The objective of the game was for the leaders of each course to try and find the hidden treasure located somewhere in the resort. However, there will be a surprise during the game. Whoever finds the treasure and successfully brings it back to the dinner hall wins.

You turned to Lisa and Chungha who were seated opposite of you when you heard them squeak.

“I would rather stay here.”

“Me too!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as your eyes naturally found its way to Yunho’s. Your gaze lingered on each other for a minute before you looked away. The selected leaders were being called upon, with you being one of them.

Even though you were dreading this idea, you didn’t want to disappoint your classmates and course mates. You got led to the front along with 4 other students. You looked around to see that they were all students you weren't familiar with.

Besides, since you were going against each other, being in alliances wasn’t really important. However, your strategy soon got thrown in the bin when Yunho was pulled up to a stop beside you. You looked at him for a brief second, only to see a small smirk on his face. You tried to hide your smile by looking away but your lips gave it away and he definitely saw it.

The instructions were given, brand new torchlights were distributed and everyone was ready to find the hidden treasure. Once the whistle was blown, all 6 students dispersed to find the hidden treasure.

You and Yunho went separate ways at first. You went to the east side of the resort while he went to the west side. They were told that the treasure is not hidden in the cabins so you avoided doing that. The only areas that were out of bounds were the cabins and the forest that led to the mountains. Other than that, every other place is accessible.

You carefully searched through the trees along the pathway, searching along the cabin houses. Everywhere you could think of. 

You were too busy searching for the treasure that you didn’t notice the person wearing a scary mask walking down the path with chains tied to his wrists. The man looked scary as he had a weird way of walking, almost like he was limping.

You were about to turn the corner when someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you back, using one hand to cover your mouth from behind. Once you were both squatting down behind the small bush, you let out a soft yelp as you felt yourself crash against a firm back. You glanced back to lock eyes with Yunho who whispered to your ear.

“Don’t scream…”

You were about to question him when the chains being dragged on the floor, followed by a low growl made you whip your head forwards. You clutched onto Yunho’s forearm out of fear as he slowly removed his hand from your mouth. His other arm was still wrapped around your waist. 

“How did you know I was here?” You asked when you turned around to face him. 

You tried to ignore the close proximity but he was doing nothing to hide his wandering eyes that travelled from your eyes to your nose, down to your lips and then back to your eyes. “I saw you searching through the bush and then I saw him.” Yunho said before looking back down at your lips again. This was enough to make your heart skip a beat as you turned back around to hide your blush by peeking out the gap to check if the coast was clear.

“I think we should-” You said as you turned around to talk to him when you saw the man dressed in the same way as the previous scary dude just metres behind Yunho.

“Go! Get up!” You yelled as you grabbed his hand and soon the both of them ran out the little alley between the two cabins. You ran hand in hand only for you to realize that there was more than one of them.

“This way!” Yunho said, bringing you back to the main building of the resort. You made your way to the other side of the building, only to come to a halt when Yunho spotted a treasure chest sitting behind the reception counter. It was hidden on the bottom shelf where no one could easily see unless they went close to the counter.

“Excuse me! Can you pass me that treasure box?” Yunho said to the clerk working behind the counter. She went over to the treasure box, only for you to see that you’re being cornered by the scary looking people.

“Yunho…” You warned by tugging on his sleeves and of course he got the signal.

The minute he took the treasure box, he quickly laced his fingers with yours and soon bolted down the lobby towards the main outdoor food hall. The two of you ran despite being chased by the scary looking men.

You were just a few feet away when a few same looking men blocked their paths right at the side entrance of the hall, making you both halt your steps. The other students who were watching gasped and screamed at you to take the other entrance on the other side. Yunho turned to you and asked if you could sprint. When you nodded, he told you to run around the back of the hall and go to the other entrance.

He managed to distract the men while you ran and when you successfully entered, you went straight to where the host and the other 4 students were. Who had treasure boxes too but they were empty.

Yunho managed to enter the hall, a few minutes later with a smaller treasure chest in his arms.

The host opened your boxes at the same time, only to reveal that your box was the correct hidden treasure, earning your course the win. Everyone cheered as you turned to Yunho who had a bright smile on his lips.

You then remembered what happened earlier beside the cabin. The memories came flooding in and you couldn’t seem to get that out of your mind.

Yunho took a few steps closer until he was right in front of her. You weren't sure what he was doing so when he pulled you into a hug, you found herself smiling against his chest. Both their friends were definitely shocked by this comeback but nevertheless they were glad that you two wouldn’t be fighting anymore.

After dinner was over, they all headed back to their own cabins. You hugged your girlfriends goodbye before joining Yunho and the others. They were walking down the path in silence while his friends were occupied with chatting to each other. The two of you were walking a few steps behind. Neither of you said a word until he spoke up first.

“I didn’t think you could run that fast.”

“I used to be a part of the track and field back in high school, remember? Or maybe you just didn’t realise since, you know...” A soft chuckle left your lips, making him do the same.

“Sorry if I scared you earlier.” He apologized.

“It’s okay. For all we know, you actually helped me from getting caught.” Yunho let out a laugh as they turned to enter their cabin.

He let you walk in first, holding the door for you. Such a gentleman. Once they were in, Wooyoung immediately took off his windbreaker and yelled happily. “Hey guys! Should we watch a movie tonight?” A series of yes went around only for you to turn to Yunho who was already staring at you expectantly.

“You can join them if you want. I think I’m gonna rest for a bit. I’ll see if I wanna join after.” You said, making the boys nod.

They all soon dispersed to their own rooms as Yunho followed behind you. Once you were in your shared room, he told you to shower first and so you did. But while waiting for you, Yunho sat on the bed in silence. Just thinking about how good it felt to hug you earlier and be that close to you.

Of course cuddling in bed is nice but you’ve never been that close in public. And for some reason, he liked it. He didn’t realize how long he had been sitting there for until he heard the bathroom door unlock. And out comes a freshly showered you with only a towel wrapped around your body. If he were to guess, you probably forgot to take your new clothes again.

“Forgot to take your clothes again?” Yunho asked with a soft chuckle, making you giggle with a nod.

He watched as you walked to your luggage, only to squat down to find your clothes. Once you took the clothes you wanted to wear, you excused yourself to go change and he just nodded. About 3 minutes later, you came back out looking as cozy as ever and all he wanted to do was hug you.

“Your turn.” You simply said, seeing him nod in response. When he disappeared into the bathroom, it was your turn to sit on the bed. You were just scrolling through your phone, looking at the pictures Lisa took of you at the ski lodge when you heard Yunho left the bathroom.

You looked up to find him walking out with just grey sweatpants on and nothing for his top.

Has he always been this toned?

You looked away to avoid him from thinking you were a creep, only to hear him chuckle. A few seconds later, he walked to you, stopping in front of you. Since you were sitting with your legs dangling off the bed due to using your phone while it's charging, Yunho had to stand almost in between your legs. That is if he took a few steps forward. 

“Are you really not coming down?” He asked.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Come on, let’s hang out for a bit. When have we ever been this close without actually being on each other’s throats?” His comment made both of you laugh as you realized he was right.

Just then, he extended his hand out for you to take. So you did. However, before you could go far, you tugged on his hand while staying in place. Yunho turned around to look at you, silently asking if something was wrong. But instead of talking, you decided that actions definitely speak louder than words.

With that being said, you took two small steps only to lean up, pressing your lips softly on his. You could feel his breath hitch in his throat when you kissed him. Your lips soon curved into a smile as you felt him snake his hands around your waist.

He pulled you against him, only to guide you gently back down onto the bed. He scooted you up a little before climbing onto the mattress, resting in between your legs while he hovered over you.

Your lips never once parted. 

Yunho hugged your waist as he carefully slid his hands underneath your hoodie. He slides his hands up your sides while he kisses your lips passionately before making his way down your neck. You were playing with his hair, feeling him kiss your neck when there was a sudden knock on the door. 

It made both of you jump while he pressed his forehead into the crook of your neck. He planted a quick kiss to your collarbone before he pulled away to speak up. “What?”

“Hyung. Noona. Are you guys coming down to join us?” Jongho’s voice sounded muffled from the other side of the wooden door, making you giggle softly underneath him.

“Yeah, we’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay!” Jongho said, and once he was gone, Yunho turned back to you with a small smile that melted your heart. “Do you still want me to say I hate you?” He whispered as his eyes lingered on your lips.

“Only if you want me to say I hate you too.” You teased.

“Yeah, I definitely don’t want that.” Yunho said before kissing you on the lips again, feeling you wrap an arm around his head to play with his hair. Something he was weak for.

Yunho gently caressed your sides, messaging the skin on your waist. His hands remained respectful so as to not touch you inappropriately without your consent. Just when he wanted to pull away, you purposely bucked your hips up, brushing your lower half against his.

A soft groan left his lips as he sucked in his breath. “Look who’s being needy now.” He teased.

“I’m not the only one.”

Yunho emitted a low growl from his throat, only to kiss you again. Except this time, his kiss was slightly rougher. He kissed his way down your neck, only to leave a mark on your skin where your shoulders and neck meet. You hissed when you felt him bite your skin. Yunho pulled away to see his art, making you blush.

“Are you seriously marking me now?” You asked with a laugh.

“Why not? At least now people know we’re no longer enemies.” He shrugged, earning a soft slap to his chest. 

He couldn’t help but give you his cute toothy grin before kissing you on the lips again and soon helped you up. He threw over a shirt before they headed downstairs to find the boys already scattered around the living room. “Oh yay! You guys made it! Come on, we’re watching Infinity War!” San announced as they made extra room for Yunho and you.

You ended up sitting in between Yunho and Yeosang, but the minute you sat down, the other boy noticed the bruise growing on your neck. This made Yeosang smirk as he tried to come up with an excuse to make you leave the room for a bit.

“Y/N, can you help me get the box of soda on the counter? I forgot to take it.”

“Sure.” You soon got up to leave and the minute you’re gone, Yeosang turned to Yunho with a knowing smirk on his face.

“So, you two finally got along?” Yunho got confused at first but then when Yeosang pointed to the spot in between his neck and shoulder, the boy finally understood what Yeosang was referring to. He could only whisper a quick “shut up or I’ll kill you” before you came back.

The rest of them smirked at Yunho as well, only for you to get confused. “Is everything okay?” You asked.

“Oh yeah, everything’s okay. Is everything okay with you?” Hongjoong teased, making you frown.

“Yeah…?” Some of them were seen giggling and you were still confused. So a brilliant idea flashed into Yunho’s brain, wanting everyone to shut up. With that being said, he gently cups your chin and turns your head to him only to kiss you outrightly in front of the others. You immediately melted against his lips, ignoring both the screeches and giggles coming from all the boys.

Yunho bravely kisses down your neck to go over the spot that was now bruised, only to lick the burning skin. Yeosang faked a gag as he groaned in his spot.

“Okay, okay! We get it. Jeez.” Yeosang said, earning a laugh from the others. Yunho pulled away with a smirk on his face before placing a chaste kiss on your lips.

“Good. If any of you open your mouth about this to anyone, I’m gonna keep doing that in front of you.” Yunho warned teasingly, making them agree to the deal. your cheeks were burning red now as you turned your face to bury them in his shoulder.

Yunho could only chuckle as he kissed the top of your head lovingly, making your stomach do a flip.

That night before you went to sleep, you broke the news to your friends in your group chat. Everyone went crazy but they were happy for you. It was quite needless to say that almost all of them had expected this day to come sooner or later.

The two of you fell asleep in each other’s arms, with him holding you close. Yunho was happy to say the least. Since he’s actually had the longest crush on you just that he never admitted to it. He pretended to hate you because he was too shy to tell you how he really felt about you. He was just glad that both your classes were chosen to go on that trip.

~~~

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