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league-of-blorbos · 5 months

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This is gonna be a long and weird post from me, and I don't know if it'll even be comprehensible in the end, but I just wanna put my thoughts out there about my feelings for Jhinhwei and why even as everyone else has fallen in love with this ship, I'm struggling to get into the idea of it.

(And to get this out of the way, this is all just my personal interpretation of these characters, I'm not gonna shame anyone for shipping something I don't or reading a character differently than I do. I'm doing this mostly cuz I just wanna voice my thoughts on this pair and maybe hear from people who think differently than I do. Also the other ships I tagged will make sense in a moment I PROMISE!)

It's not that I don't understand the appeal, oh no, this ship feels like it was handmade to appeal to Tumblr's love of darker, tension-filled, inherently toxic, homoerotic romance. It's LoL Hannigram, it's someone who's at least somewhat moral falling obsessively in love with a psychopath, and now they're at a cross roads of if they want to try to remain a decent person but abandon their love, or embrace the darkness within them and allow themselves to be in love with this horrible person. There's so much potential for drama and complex explorations of love and obsession that this ship should absolutely grip me.

But it doesn't, even as it's gripped others who like the same other pairings that I do.

My two other favorite ships (bear with me, I think understanding why I love these two helps rationalize why I don't ship Jhinhwei), the ones that have actually worked their way into every crevasse of my brain and I think about scenarios of them while trying to fall asleep is Kayn/Rhaast (big shock I know /s) and Simon/Betty from Adventure Time. They are also two pairings that delve into obsession and where neither partner is fully good (or in Petrigrof's case, more like good people with unintentionally toxic behavior).

Let's start with Rhaayn cuz I've rambled enough about that ship on here to fill a library (hehe voicelines references). Rhaayn is more of a classic enemies to friends to lovers with the Symbrock dynamic of Rhaast being a parasite that is fighting for control over Kayn's body being thrown in there for spice. The fun with this ship is seeing how their fight forces them to have to share moments of closeness and eventually bond with the other, and how through those moments, Kayn and Rhaast both find a perfect mirror for themselves. They find someone with the same level of bloodthirst and similar war-related trauma, but also someone who balances them as they are opposites and the same in so many ways.

Petrigrof (spoilers for both Adventure Time and Fiona And Cake) is sorta the opposite of Rhaayn in that a lot of Rhaayn focuses on how they fall in love, while Petrigrof's main story starts after already being together. The other way they're different is that while I very much SHIP Rhaayn, I'm kinda lying when I say I SHIP Simon and Betty as my favorite part is that they don't stay together in the end. The Youtuber Sarcastic Chorus has already done an amazing analysis of this ship that matches a lot of my feelings on them, but to sum up, how Petrigrof ended is all due to Betty and Simon's mistakes. They loved each other so much that Betty was willing to throw so much of herself away for Simon, while he was blinded to how much she was doing for him, and even in the moments where he did recognize Betty was doing too much, he let her keep trying as he thought it would undermine their relationship if he didn't. And I love that their story is a lesson in how even well-meaning obsession can be toxic and that you need to know when to walk away and move on, even when it hurts you and the person you love.

Simon is just as madly in love as Betty is and vice versa, and they're both equally responsible for the way they ended up. While with Rhaayn, both crave each other's company because they've found someone who is just as violent and fucked up in all the same ways as they are.

But compared to those two pairs, Jhinhwei feels too unbalanced, and not just due to the power imbalance. To summarize it, my other ships feel like two people who ruin each other (or heal each other, or both!), while Jhinhwei mostly feels like Jhin trying to ruin Hwei and the main draw is Hwei choosing to accept the ruin and his internal struggle about it. The story of them, as I read it, focuses almost solely on Hwei's arc and you could theoretically have him effect Jhin just as much, but first, any attempts for Hwei to "fix" Jhin would just recreate the issue for me in the other direction, where it's now about Jhin's internal struggle with Hwei trying to heal him. Second, I have a hard time reading that as anything other than drastically changing Jhin's character to the point where you might as well make an OC.

That last point is definitely more of a personal problem as I have way more trouble getting into Jhin's headspace than I do with Hwei or Kayn or even Rhaast. But to me, Jhin is almost more of a force of madness than a character I can dive into the complex mind of, and I'm kinda ok with that. A lot of people love trying to figure out how these characters' brains work and why they are who they are, but just like how Riot never wanted to unmask Jhin (until that goddamn concept art came out!), I'm ok with leaving the mask on and letting some things about Jhin remain mysterious, even at the cost of Jhinhwei not meeting a lot of the criteria to be a ship that I really fall in love with.

#and no ive never watched the show h@nnibal so that probably doesnt help #ive just noticed a lot of my mutuals love this ship and this is me trying to get into it but accepting that its probably just not for me #unless one of yall wanna try to sell me on it #league of legends #lol #leagueoflegends #riot games #hwei #jhin #khada jhin #lukai hwei #jhinhwei #golden artists #rhaayn #petrigrof

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aflamethatneverdies · 4 months

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top 10 comfort shows

thank you @sainteverge for tagging me xD i don't think i have 10 though. I need to find more comfort shows.

Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger: it's sentai, it's for selling toys to 5 year olds, it's an anniversary season, it's also still the best sentai season imo made with a lot of heart and one i watch over and over again. and also write fic for. pirates fighting against an Empire and in a polycule too, what more do i want. lies, i want more. but for now i settle for rewatching over and over. it's also really good during depressive episodes because it isn't complicated to understand and be emotionally invested in. i've used it to get through depressive swings this year lol.

Revolutionary girl utena: this show- y'all. i'm still in the haze from how good this show is and i have thoughts, so many thoughts but so many of the rambly variety and i've already started rewatching and just, this show is so good. soo soo good.

Natsume Yuujinchou: a slice of life anime about seeing youkai but really about being ostracised and shunned and about being weird and not feeling fully human and finding community with other weirdos. i really love its calm pace in certain moods, i love the characters and i want to know everything about Reiko. when will the seventh season come out, my crops are dying.

Black Sails: I've watched it twice, both times got something new out of it to chew on. It's a well plotted, well paced show and I can rewatch it again tbh.

Granada Holmes: It's Sherlock Holmes, it's Watson. It's got good acting. It's got a great read on the characters as they exist in the books. 'nuff said.

Shoujo Cosette: i don't think it needs a lot of explanation. It has a lot of rewatch potential and ability to wreck you during Fantine's scenes. It's good.

tagging @pilferingapples @lemeute @bodhimcbodeface and anyone else who wants to do this, really.

#personal #memes

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rosesakura · 1 year

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Hi hi!!! For ao3 wrapped:

3, 6, 12, 16, 18, 19, 20, 29, and/or 30! I wanna know everything about your writing lmao, sorry if I went overboard I’m just very curious!!

I literally love you

obligatory under the cut note because I am 99% Julie is the only one who wants to read this rambling lmfao

3 -- what work are you most proud of?

I fucking wish I could say my whumptober collection but we all know I massively failed at that so :)

I actually haven't written much this year so a lot of this is going to be repetitive lmfao I am actually proud of the progress I made on the stars are already dead because it's such a heavy topic to write about (cathartic for me, but also heavy) and for a while, I was updating pretty frequently.

6 -- favourite title you used

okay so I do actually love the the stars are already dead title because I think that it illustrates Oikawa's overwhelming sadness and depression. the thought process was playing on his connection to the stars and how he was always so excited by the vastness and awesomeness of space but now it seems so insignificant to him and he no longer has that kind of appreciation. also people would probably say he's a star athlete and so he's "already dead" because of being so numb because of his sister. I put a lot of thought into that title, actually!

12 -- how many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

LMFAO dude you are not ready. there's also a difference between wips I have started and which ones I actually aim to post and/or finish next year. for haikyuu, specifically? I think I have maybe 10? they include finishing tsaad, some more zombie background, mermaid AUs, and a new fic I don't think I've talked to you about before 👀

if I am including potential other fandoms, it's, uhh.... way more lol got a lot of fire emblem on my mind, specifically sylvix and casphardt, potentially some octopath? maybe some outlander! I am ambitious but I have no time lol

16 -- what's your most common "Additional tags" used?

protective *insert character name here* lol I am but a simple lady who just wants to feel safe. also hurt/comfort and emotional hurt/comfort

18 -- the character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

fucking YURI from fire emblem, god. he is impossible and part of the reason i lost my motivation for whumptober -.- Oikawa has also been a bit of a bitch for me this year, but I think that has ore to do with the fact that he is very severely depressed so it is altering the way I would usually write him. not impossible but has slowed me down a bit and stressed me out about being too ooc.

19 -- what's one pairing you want to explore next year?

I have so many tbh I am garbage. I have alwaaaaays wanted to try writing Tanaka/Kiyoko and I Will force myself to try that out sometime soon. also love Kyoutani/Yahaba and think they could be fun! I have also never written a poly ship before and have an idea for bokuakakuroken !

other pairings for other fandoms include (potentially) Todoroki/Momo, Claire/Jamie, Link/Zelda (haven't touched them for YEARS), and some older fire emblem games, perhaps Leo/Sakura, who I wrote my very first fic about.

20 -- which work of yours have you reread the most?

ones I haven't publish yet. LOL okay um here:

all the sylvix chapters from reach for my hand (oops I love them), demons at daybreak, soft silver kisses, and chapters 15-28 of Unravel (special attention to 23 because I am always in need of Daisuga)

I like to read my oneshots a lot because I am very low on time and energy, or I'll read parts to try and inspire me or make connections when writing another chapter

29 -- favourite line/passage you wrote this year?

I had to go hunting for this one. but it's from chapter 11 on tsaad and I think you commented on it too. I was so pleased with the whole interaction between Iwaizumi and Takeru and almost made myself cry rereading it today lol

"And it was in that moment that Iwaizumi truly understood: Takeru needed to talk about them. Iwaizumi and Oikawa had both been careful not to mention either of his parents, too worried about upsetting him. But Takeru wanted, probably even needed, to talk about them. After all, one of the ways the dead stay alive is through the lives of others, through their pictures, their memories, their stories, never truly fading from the earth as long as someone carries them in their heart."

also thought I'd post this lil snippet of an unpublished fic because i really like my idea for it :)

“Do you know what the worst part is?”

Kuroo snapped his mouth shut and swallowed sharply, scared to hear about the worst part.

Kenma drifted closer to him, close enough that he was nearly pressed against the glass. From this close, Kuroo could see the pain in his eyes, easily see the marks and cuts left over from his group’s poking and prodding.

“I thought that, out of everyone here, you would be the one person who wouldn’t hurt me or wouldn’t let anything bad happen. And I shouldn’t feel good with you here. But I do.”

Despite the positive note that Kenma’s sentence ended with, Kuroo couldn’t handle it. Kenma was right; he shouldn’t feel good with Kuroo here because Kuroo did let them hurt him. He had been so positive he’d be able to keep Kenma relatively safe. He had failed in the one thing he promised to do.

“I know,” he managed to choke out, glancing away when Kenma pressed his hand against the glass of the tank. “I know, I know I fucked up. I just came to check on you. I’ll go.”

“Aren’t you listening to me,” he snapped. “I don’t want you to.”

30 -- biggest surprise while writing this year?

that it's hard to do when you have a full time job. :) I'm always surprised when people like my writing tbh. i know that sounds bleh but it's true! especially with tsaad, it's a very personal and very sad story so to see people react to it so positively is a beautiful surprise <3

#thank you so much for letting me ramble!#and forcing me to reread my fic to find a good writing line from this year lmfaooo #i love you so so much thank you!!!!#lovely asks from lovely people #cat answers!

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mcdbutgay · 2 years

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i just wish that jesson had actually TRIED to build mcd's world a lot more. i feel like a good spinoff series they couldve made was like a prequel to garroth finding and training zenix, meeting aphmau, etc. called smth like 'days at the training academy' or something, where garroth would've filled the protagonist role, and characters who also went to the training school like azura, laurance, and dante would've also made an appearance.

more under the cut bc this is LONG 😭

not only would it have helped add depth to mcd's world (as the training school is something we only hear about but never see; we don't even know where it is located T-T), but it would've helped establish the character's relationships prior to them appearing in mcd.

some examples of relationships it would have given more screentime to are:

- garroth and azura. i HATE how azura's feelings for garroth only ever get mentioned, but she never really acts upon them. i get it though, because like, what's she gonna do about it however many years later? i just feel like with a spinoff that focused purely on the guards, they could have built on what they had already stated in mcd; how azura truly cared about garroth and was very close to him. how, even though garroth hurt her by rejecting her feelings for him, she still cared about him enough to keep good relations with him to the present day. and how she probably wishes she could ask him again after all these years to finally let him go. and thats only scratching the surface of what they could've done, there's just so much potential here T-T

- garroth and laurance. this isn't even me being a gaurrance fan, this is me saying how much potential they had as friends 😭 i know they have a trust bond in mcd, but i feel like it often went unexplored and the only reason they even interacted is because they were both interested in aphmau. so to fix this, what they could have done was show how they originally met, and how they were rivals. i feel like making them rivals in their time at the training academy would've been kinda cool, because they'd actually have a reason to try so hard and be at the top of their class like dante said they were. then, when they reunite again years later they just laugh about how dumb and stupid they used to be, always competing to see who was best, only to realize that they're STILL competing, except this time it's for a girl. (i have SO MANY hcs for them but let's move on)

- garroth, laurance, and dante. i talked about this in the tags of one of my other posts, but ill restate what i said here: i think that garroth and laurence have a very informal relationship with dante, despite dante sort of putting them both on a pedestal. i think that after what gene did, dante goes to the training academy and IMMEDIATELY gets this like, friend,,, crush? on garroth and laurance. like he just REALLY admires them and thinks theyre super cool and smart and he just really looks up to them bc they feel like a replacement for gene. and at first garroth and laurance dont notice dante because theyre too caught up with their own rivalry, but when they do they just have a bit of fun with him and tease him playfully bc he looks like he's about to faint when they suddenly come up to him. i feel like dante would have a bit of trouble training with others, so garroth and laurance start training with him after class just for fun. when garroth and laurance graduate they get sent off to their own respective villages and largely forget about dante (not bc they didn't care or anything, they just had different matters to tend to) so when they reunite with him they dont immediately recognize him at first. I COULD GO ON.

i cant think of any more but if i do ill be sure to add them. i think ive rambled for long enough haha ^^;; i'll probably include a lot of this in my rewrite so im looking forward to that lol

#i have so many thoughts about this #also i was thinking that for the main conflict in this spinnoff it could have to do with gene maybe?#at first i thought garroth and laurence couldve attended the #training academy at the same time gene did but #i think it wouldve been more interesting if gene was attending it during the time dante is also in it bc of drams but #that wouldnt make sense bc according to dante the last time he saw him was when #he erased everyones memories but his #it would be a plot hole if he suddenly showed up since this takes place BEFORE dante tells aphmau his backstory #either way idk if it really needs a conflict lol. it could just be like an episode by episode thing where #each episode is its own contained story #i think it could be like s1 myst levels of silly but just set in the mcd universe. of course there would be mentions of like #current events and wars and shit but for the most part itd just be the guards being silly teenagers lol #ashe.txt #garroth ro'meave #dante #azura #aphblr #mcd #mcd aphmau #minecraft diaries #ashe's mcd rewrite #laurance zvahl

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everything-laito · 3 years

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hey,,, i've seen this controversial opinion about laito not being sexually assaulted by cordelia. . .as the only opinion of laito that matters, what are your thoughts on it? i know you've made some posts in the past about cordelia and laito's relationship, but i think that now would be a good time to i guess, remake a post or clarify your thoughts so people could follow along?? i hope you enjoy your day.

*proceeds to crack all my knuckles at once*

This isn't really my own "response" cuz oh boy I'm sick of this petty ass drama lmao. To begin, SKLDJF I'm very flattered that you hold my opinion in that high of regard! I'd say there's others that have interesting interpretations of him too though :) but again, thank you :') glad you enjoy what I have to say!

I know I've already kinda responded to this via a screenshot here, just to hold you––and others reading this––over. As much as this is a great time to talk about a how-to-analysis, I’ll still put that as a separate post eventually, but I still will go over the philosophy of truth and writings etc. But anyways, to answer your initial questions, they’re under the cut!

And no, I’m not specifically calling anyone out here. These are just issues with the fandom that I find as a whole, along with some extremists. Thus, I’m not going to be putting tags for people to easily find this post because I don’t want to be wound up in this drama––once again this is just more commentary on the fandom as a whole, which hopefully you can apply to people you find!

I have a lot of my own thoughts about Cordelia and Laito’s relationship here (just in case if people need it):

1. Goes over potential grooming of Laito, facts about Cordelia and what happened before she did stuff to Laito, and when did she rape Laito for the first time?

2. Stuff about incest and how any relationship out of a parental/child relationship is abuse even if it’s not penetrative sex, more incest stuff, and just more thoughts on their relationship

3. Neuroplasticity, trauma, Karlheinz, and isolation

4. What does sexual trauma look like? And some stuff on Laito’s facade

5. More stuff on his facade, and projection on Yui

6. My thoughts on Laito’s dark fate vampire ending + Conclusion

7. Answering some inbox stuff relating to Cordelia

Sure I realize I might be missing some stuff but that’s just my whole analysis on them. I’ll probably make some follow up posts eventually but I’m not sure when that will be.

But as for this analysis/ramble, I’ll divide it up into sections:

The issue of hypocrisy in the Dialovers fandom:

I- oh dear god. Ok, just saying, there’s a lot of people being like “oh I hate Cordelia because she was abusive” then ??? yo??? Why do you like the boys?? They’re abusive and we see more of them than Cordelia??? I just personally hate hypocrisy. However, it’s okay to hate Cordelia! It’s okay to love Cordelia! It’s okay to hate the boys and it’s okay to love the boys too. But recognizing that you don’t like one or the other just because “they’re abusive” is a fallacy at that point.

The reason why so many people hate Karlheinz/Cordelia/Beatrix/Christa/Richter (or at least start off hating them) is because they are written as the villains of the story! Karl’s the main villain, and the rest (including the diaboys and Yui) are kinda just tragically wound up in his plans. You sympathize more with the boys because you spend more time with them and watch them grow! It’s a whole “us vs them” situation. Since those people were awful to the boys/the boys hate them, you’re like “yeah they’re bad!” But the issue with the whole “us vs them” situation (as in real life) is that people tend to excuse the actions done by the “us” party.

Same thing goes with extreme Karl/Cordelia/Richter fans (I’ve never seen a hardcore Beatrix/Christa fan but they’re probably out there). Some hate the diaboys but love the people in that party. They’ve also done some shitty stuff too! Bro, even Yui has done some terrible stuff! But that’s because she was a product of the events she was thrown into––and same with everyone else.

Karl has been the mastermind of all this, and for me I don’t have any sympathy for him, mainly because we’re not shown anything to sympathize with (except that he just is tired of living but idk why he wants to create a whole new race like lmao science nerd ig, I feel that king). A lot of people like him for his looks, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing––he’s a fictional character, objectify these characters however you want. This is more of a personal opinion of mine though. And maybe people do just sympathize with his outlook on life, that’s totally fine.

But since these characters are all attractive in their own regard, they all get the treatment of “pretty-boy” syndrome (Idek if that’s the exact name for it). Which is just the privilege pretty people get. But again, this is fictional, so it’s not necessarily important in this case. Bro I got into DL cuz of “ooga booga hot vampires” and stayed for the complex lore and characters (especially one complex character, wonder who that could be). I imagine most people got into DL because of that, or out of sheer curiosity.

Ok, I’m throwing out a lot of points but not really connecting them. Lemme give you an example: I don’t like Reiji. His character doesn’t vibe with me most of the time aside from the fact that he’s hilarious. But I just am very neutral/neutral-negative on his character. But I’m not like “oh cuz he’s mean/abusive” cuz LOL EVERYONES MEAN IN THIS GAME. Sure you can still say that, it’s just not a very strong claim. Hypocritical claims tend to be like that. Same with a lot of Yui haters. In this case, they’re more jealous that she’s there and not them, which I’ve explained a lot in this post about toxic femininity and Yui in the fandom etc. But it’s ok to just not like a character! It’s alright! I know someone who just doesn’t vibe with Subaru. She doesn’t know why, she just doesn’t vibe with him. There’s no need to defend it either. But the use of hypocrisy is my main issue, and I’ll get to that in the next section.

(There’s a really good post explaining this too but I cannot find it for the life of me. I think it was made by @/abottleofkarlheinz or @/the-madame21)

How opinions of fictional universes left unchecked can effect real life:

I’ve said this a little bit in that Dialover PSA post I’ve made about Yui that I linked a couple paragraphs ago. But the reasons why people say they hate Yui is concerning. If you don’t like Yui, that’s totally fine! Again you don’t need reasons to hate on a character or defend it. But if you do choose to defend those characters, make sure what you’re saying isn’t out of some other place in your heart. Let me explain.

In that “Yui PSA” post I made, I say how your attitudes in being critical of a fictional universe usually does reflect on who you are as a person, at least when you’re making certain claims. In that Yui post, I say that the hatred on Yui is a result of the “other girl” mentality. On top of that, it erases her experience as a survivor. Yes, this is a fictional character, but bringing that into real life can have some dire consequences if you don’t differentiate them. If you have the same attitude of Yui with other survivors if the “abuser is hot” then thaaaaaat’s so fucked up.

For example, there’s people who have crushes on real life serial killers! That- that’s absolutely disgusting! Those real people killed living people and effected so many lives and families. Dude I have fictional crushes on fictional serial killers, and that’s different, because it is a removed universe. It’s why I can still call myself a lesbian but still have crushes on fictional male characters, for a further example (and vice versa! I have straight friends who crush on fictional characters of their same gender! But that doesn’t make them any less straight. And no, I’m not erasing bi people here either, just clarifying in case if you needed that).

Not being able to differentiate your opinions of a fictional universe can get very toxic. Like I love Laito, but I’m not like “omg I wish he was real so he could do that stuff to me uwu” like no!!! UH!!! I wouldn’t want to date anyone like him in real life! That’s literal abuse! And if Laito was here in real life it’s not a controlled environment, he’d literally be able to do anything with you, etc. That’s what makes a fantasy, a fantasy. They’re controlled.

Also vice versa, some people get really triggered by Dialovers, specifically Laito’s route. A lot of non-consensual acts that he does have been experienced by people in real life in any extent, myself included. For me, it’s a personal escape from that, because it is an environment where I am prepared for those events and can control my exposure to it. For some, they are reminded of the reality they had to experience. Fictional universes are inspired by real life, no matter what way you look at it. Real life people are making it, after all.

I feel like I’m going in so many circles, but trust me, I’m getting to the point.

I- I can’t explain this enough but it is most definitely implied that Cordelia had raped and sexually abused Laito. If it was explicit, DL would be an 18+ game, but they cannot do that in Japan. I’m not going to like defend this point because so many people (myself included) have defended this point. It’s implications carry over into Laito’s character and why he’s like this. He’s a textbook sexual abuse survivor. I just,,,, cannot explain this enough. Same thing with overwriting the abuse of Yui. They get jealous of Yui. Sure I’d say a good chunk of people have ravishment fantasies here. At least the 18+ people in the fandom who are into that stuff. But oh my dear god, ravishment fantasies are super super dangerous to enact in real life. It’s possible to do them, but it would take years of building up to that point in kink. That’s a whole other discussion though and I’m not incredibly comfortable talking about it knowing that minors read my blog (I’ll also have to say here: no minors in kink--its alright to educate yourself but pleaaaaaaaaaase don’t enact on any of those activities until you are of age, and even so that still can be dangerous right as you turn 18).

But anyways, saying that Yui should enjoy this because she’s experienced the ravishment fantasy you’ve dreamed of? Oh fucking hell, if you leave that opinion and mentality unchecked and it goes into real life, that’s incredibly awful. Abuse apologists are absolutely terrible people, almost as much as the abusers themselves.

If you twist the narrative that Laito loves Cordelia or Yui loves the boys at the end of the first game, that’s still––ughhhhhhhh. Especially when it’s so obvious that Laito has so many mental issues with Cordelia. His whole monologue and breakdown at the end of Dark Fate definitely tells us that he has had such an issue with Cordelia. And MB+ Laito is still Laito. As for Yui, dude she literally goes through stockholm syndrome in the first game like it is so goddamn apparent idek how to explain this at this point.

Ok dear god lmao wow, uh I think that’s answering the first couple of questions?

The philosophy of truth:

“Truth” has been an incredibly debated topic in philosophy for years. Truth is more of a subjective item rather than objective. Sure you can have personal objective truths, but they may not be the same truths for others. For example, a tomato is red. However, that tomato is red to me, because I am not color blind. A red-green color blind person may see the tomato as being brown or more muted in color. That’s their truth. They can’t really imagine what red is (ok depending on severity of their color blindness), considering they have not experienced the color red in the same way people who don’t have color blindness do. God uh, here’s a whole ass essay about truth, I’m cherry picking some of the things in there that are relevant to this.

Basically what I’m saying is, truth is very subjective. However, there are philosophers arguing a more objective truth. But that’s a whole other discussion. Also, this isn’t to support any political opinion, but I can use that as an example. Let’s go for well... The death penalty. I’m in America, we have the death penalty in some states. Yes, this is a very controversial topic, and no I’m not arguing the ethics of it here. Just hear me out.

If you live in Europe for example (except in Belarus and Russia––ok when I looked it up they consider Russia in Europe and technically it is but also there’s the whole chunk that is not- lmao even the truth of geography can be subjective), you might be like “yeah what the fuck are Americans doing?” (a common sentiment that I also share lmao). But yeah, what the fuck are we doing? Why is the death penalty still in existence? Yes, there’s statistics that prove that it doesn’t deter crime, but even crime rates is caused by a lot of different things too. Even statistics aren’t always accurate, because of many different factors. They’re not objective either, although good statisticians try their best to get good results and not skew the data. (please try to see where your data is coming from and who it is sponsored by––it matters a TON)

I’d say the closest thing we have as an objective truth to argue the death penalty or not is money. Money, although the concept is subjective, is a very objective currency. It’s why artists hate “exposure” compared to “money” as sole currency. The death penalty is very expensive, and not even used that often.

So, although money is currency made by us, and is technically 75% linen and 25% cotton (in America at least) with some funky dudes n numbers printed on it, it doesn’t sound that special. However, it would be considered as a baseline of some type of “objective truth” in ~society~ because people are typically on the same page of what money’s worth. Even so, this baseline of truth is still subjective! If Bill Gates accidentally has a $20 bill fall out of his pocket, that’s nothing to him! But if someone who’s working very hard to make ends meet loses that same amount of money, it could deal a lot of financial damage to that person.

Ok, hopefully you guys kind of get my drift. There are a lot of theories of truth, I’m just explaining one (honestly I forget the name of this theory) because it is the closest to the types of truth we are dealing with. And in this case, it’s called “canon.”

What the fuck is analysis:

The concept of “canon” is the objective truth that we have when analyzing universes. They’re our bread and butter of interpretation and extrapolation. The art of analysis clings to this notion of an objective truth. It needs a baseline. I’m going off of Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle, because that type of analysis I have the most experience with.

This is called rhetorical analysis. Rhetoric is the use of words in a persuasive fashion, and the analysis part is a breakdown of how words are used in order to achieve persuasiveness. I don’t typically use a lot of explicit rhetorical analysis in my personal writings, but I guess a version of it. Which typically has to deal with intention and execution. A lot of analysis on language has to do with this. Language is incredibly subjective. Certain words carry individual meanings to people. I have gone over the difference between real and lexical definitions before, and I’ll do it again.

I’ll just copy and paste what I’ve said before here from this analysis:

To put it simply, lexical definitions are the definitions you find in the dictionary. This is an “official” and “agreed upon” definition. Real definitions (quite a misleading name in my opinion) is the definition that’s more kind of “felt” in a way and how you internally interpret the word in context (these can be through individuals or any niche group). What I mean by this is that when you say a word (for example) to convey a feeling, you usually won’t know the dictionary definition off the top of your head. You say that something’s “savage” for example when you want to describe something violent or gruesomely awesome (it depends if it’s in a slang context or not) but there’s many lexical definitions (and outdated lexical definitions) of the term. But the first definition that usually comes up is “adj (of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.”

But people typically don’t think of the lexical definition when they learn what a word means; they usually learn the context of it and apply it as such. And that’s what a “real” definition is. Laito has a differing definition of what affection and love is, and that’s his own meaning and what it means to him.

I’ll even add another example to that too. The word “cunt” in english refers to a vagina. That’s just it. It’s lexically synonymous with “vagina,” “pussy,” etc. However, “cunt” has a subjective meaning to it. This is where “real” definitions also come into play. Many people view the word as vulgar and dirty. And that’s cuz we live in a ~society~ lmao. Our use of language has shaped what this word means in a context outside of the dictionary. I’ll do you one more. The Japanese word マンコ (manko) is also vulgar slang that’s kind of like our word “cunt/pussy.” Sometimes I say “cunt” for jokes, but I don’t use it that often to begin with since it’s just a very strong word to most (albeit it’s not that strong of a word for me). However, マンコ is a strong word to many Japanese people, but if I hear it even though I’ve been learning Japanese, it doesn’t have that same effect as hearing “cunt” for me is (which still, idc if I really hear it depending on context) because I haven’t been shaped in a culture that uses Japanese.

Even so, tone, intention, and context is HUGE in this. If someone called me a “useless fucking cunt” when they’re angry at me, I’d be close to crying. If someone told that to me as a joke, I’d be like “lol yeah you right, bitchass” and if someone said that in a consensual sexual context, it would certainly tickle my masochistic heart.

DSLKFJ also sorry if you don’t like hearing that word, I just had to utilize a strong example for this. But anyways, now let’s change the lens to Dialovers.

No, it never explicitly says that Cordelia rapes Laito. It doesn’t. However, there’s this WACKY thing called being able to infer, reading between the lines, and identifying implications. Those are kind of all the same things. However, indirect exposition is used a lot in effective creative writing. The utilization of this type of exposition is more preferred when writing a story, because direct exposition is kind of referred to as “info-dumping” when used excessively. Forgive my jargon: this is just showing vs telling as we’re taught in every writing class. I’m personally very bad at it, which is why I stick to writing these, and stick to reading creative fiction. (NOT SAYING IF YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT THIS TO NOT CONTINUE TO PRACTICE CREATIVE FICTION, I JUST DONT HAVE THE CURRENT MOTIVATION TO GET GOOD AT IT)

Dialovers uses a LOOOOOT of showing. And even so, its “showing” ability is very minimal considering the Japanese language can be vague on its own, it’s medium (visual novel) does not show a lot of things explicitly most of the time (and even when it is shown it doesn’t convey a lot). There’s several CGs of Laito and Yui where it doesn’t show the amount of pain or the dire situation Yui’s in, compared to what she’s saying she’s going through.

When I made my whole breakdown on Laito’s HDB route from Yui’s perspective, I got several comments about how they didn’t realize how bad his route really was. That’s either because people might not have experience with verbal abuse themselves, can’t exactly see Yui’s body language except her head (and even so, her expressions are limited), or don’t know a lot of gaslighting/verbal abuse techniques/have done research into it. Honestly verbal abuse is kind of hard to realize, so I’m not calling anyone dumb here. Despite me knowing a lot of the signs, I didn’t know I went through it––and even so I’ve denied it. And that’s what is so effective about this game though! Especially Laito’s route! Because you’re also sucked in with limited knowledge because you’re seeing this through Yui’s perspective, and on top of that it’s isolating. You can only make so many choices, and I feel like Dialovers is perfect as a visual novel. You get caught up with a lot of shock value things that Laito says, which serves as a perfect distraction for your first time through. But anyways, I’m getting off track.

For example, many people found his Maniac 07 chapter to be very confusing. I broke that one down here as well, and even so I was confused at first (also I was like 14/15, dear god). It tells you SO little, but you know that Laito’s incredibly upset at Richter for some reason, and even so, Yui comments on it a little too. Laito is shown to still hate Richter in DF, but he talks about it a tad more.

Here’s a further example from my writings in that first part of the Cordelia/Laito analysis series but I have bolded the terms I use to convey this rhetoric:

There hasn’t been any flashbacks that specifically show us the first time that happened. However, I believe that there was a flashback in HDB that shows one of the first times. Here’s a scene from Laito’s Dark Epilogue:

Cordelia: ー Laito…Laito… Laito: …Hm? Is something the matter? Cordelia: I have a favor to ask. It just isn’t enough. You can do it, right Laito? Laito: You really are something…So that’s why you came to me again? Cordelia: Fufufu…That’s right, Laito. Come on, quickly… Laito: …Guess it can’t be helped. I’ll love you plenty. Cordelia: Aah…My cute Laito~ I love you. I really do. Laito: I can do it…right? Cordelia: Of course, Laito. Now, quickly…

First of all, ew. Second of all, Laito’s diction implies that this was maybe the second or third time this occurred. He asks a question, and ends it with “again.” We know by this that it is not the first time, but the question also means that Laito might not have expected to occur again. His tone also implies some surprise to it, at least in my ears. His other question, “I can do it, right?” screams hesitance to me. If this scene took place down the line, or after many times he did this with Cordelia, I don’t believe he’d be some level of surprised or hesitance.

That’s what rhetorical analysis is. You take the contextual meaning of the words, the tone they use, and extrapolate what they imply. On top of this, we know that the term “love” here is sexual, implying that they did something sexual. We are not given the details of this, but considering we know that Laito uses “love” before he rapes Yui in the game, we can infer that’s what happened (or something similar) to himself with Cordelia, considering he projects on Yui quite a bit.

I was going to go over what is good/bad analysis, but I think I’ve implied it anyways here. Utilizing separate information from different sources of canon in order to make sense of something is good analysis. That’s our objective truth: canon. I’m not saying I’m the best at analysis, but I am fairly confident in it. It’s how I’m able to attempt to answer some of your “how would Laito react” questions without it being specifically hinted in the game. You cannot cherry pick specific sentences and go off of that alone for analysis. It’s context. It’s reading tone. It’s knowing the characters attitudes towards things, how they speak, etc. There’s a lot going into analysis in general. I know I didn’t elaborate on Aristotle’s rhetorical triangle right now, but that’s for another date I suppose.

Oh dear god I hope I didn’t lose you guys, I know this is a lot of information, but if you have any questions/comments/clarifications, as always, please let me know!

Hope you enjoyed! -Corn

#analysis #ask corn

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tuesdayintheservantshall · 3 years

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Jimmy has no right to *that* hostile (ie downright homophobic). He already almost threw Thomas out onto the street without a reference; if anyone has a right to be scared it’s Thomas; he’s now aware everyone knows he’s gay and he knows at least one or two of those people(one of them being jimmy) would happily throw him under the bus given the chance. He’s literally never been so vulnerable and there’s no need for jimmy to rub it in

Hey Nonny you’re my first official fandom argument! Or you were when I first drafted this over a week ago lol. Since then I've waded into some drama bc I have poor impulse control. Well you're my first argumentative anon still! Do I get a prize, or do you? Have an, um apple of discord: 🍏And I will have one too: 🍏 (Intended tone: genuinely friendly, although if you are not already aware you should know that in fandom spaces messages like these are generally considered hostile acts. Most people don’t want to argue with strangers about why their faves suck, and especially not in response to tags they made about their overwhelmed shippy feelings. (Although I guess if hypothetically you’re the OP of the post I put the tags on and weren’t comfortable with them being on your post that’s admittedly a tough place to be in. Coming to me with your face on and asking me to remove my reblog or the tags because you’re not comfortable with them runs the risk of me being an asshole or taking something in your phrasing badly and starting a big fight. Uh, the chances of that seem rather remote so I’m gonna leave the tags where they are unless OP comes to me and says “I hadn’t wanted to say anything but actually -”.) Anyway I’m not gonna derail this into a long(er than it is) ramble on preferred ways to discuss disagreements in fandom but I might post something like that at a later date.)

God I use way too many parentheses. Apologies to any with a blacklist for Jimmy (do I still have any of those? not sure), obviously I don’t want to put this in the tags. I shall tag this and any further discourse on the subject with “the storyline that shall not be named”. Let’s get (finally) to it!

So, the first thing I wanna say is: yes, Jimmy makes homophobic comments and that’s bad, both because Thomas being gay is not the reason he assaulted Jimmy and because there’s hypothetically a chance someone who doesn’t already know might figure out Thomas’s sexuality based on Jimmy’s comment(s? There's the one before the rope tug and then I could have sworn there was one other one but I'm blanking on what it actually was.)However a) the moment I was commenting on wasn’t one of the homophobic comments and b) I find it important to distinguish between the specific manner of hostility (sometimes homophobic) and the level of hostility (nasty remarks and making a constant point of distancing himself) and the level is in fact 100% warranted. If you think nasty remarks and pointed distancing are more hostile than a person has a right to be towards the guy who sexually assaulted them, then we have a pretty profound disagreement.

As for your other point, regarding fear: Thomas and Jimmy both have very compelling reasons to be afraid of each other but I have to ask exactly what you think Jimmy is “rubbing in?” He initially tried to retaliate excessively against Thomas, backed down from that, and then discovered that instead of facing a reasonable consequence for assaulting him, such as being fired but with a reference that reflected the fact that this was one very bad mistake rather than a pattern*, Thomas was promoted to a position of direct authority over Jimmy. Although Jimmy was bribed into not making a fuss about this rather than, say, threatened, I think he has nonetheless been given a fairly clear message from his employers that they will back the senior coworker who assaulted him against any potential consequence he might try to bring. From Jimmy’s point of view, which is admittedly blinkered by fear and self interest, Thomas is the one in the secure, powerful position and Jimmy is the one extremely vulnerable.

I don't even just mean from his point of view like, ~emotionally. Genuine question: what would happen if Thomas started being overly touchy-feely again, or did worse than that, and Jimmy went to Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes or Lord Grantham to report it? I really don't know, and neither does Jimmy. Personally, I'm guessing that whether they believed him would probably depend significantly on things like Jimmy’s demeanor, and exactly what words he used, and basically whether he came across as a victim or as a brat trying to get someone in trouble. And which of those things a person seems like has no particular correlation to the facts of what they’re reporting - as we can see from what happened the first time! Like, Jimmy came off as spiteful and nasty and instead of being fired Thomas was promoted. That is actually what happened! The fact that Jimmy's motives were mixed doesn't change the fact of what Thomas did: Jimmy, when evaluating his safety, has access to one really strong datapoint and that’s that last time the majority of his superiors came down on Thomas’s side, either from the beginning or by the end.

Now, it’s true that he’s had a year to observe Thomas’s behavior and make an educated guess that Thomas really is sorry and won’t do it again. We can only speculate as to what extent he may have reached that conclusion and why he has or hasn’t. Some possible reasons why he might not have: trauma blinkers, homophobic and sexist beliefs, sufficiently bad at reading people to not know what clues to even look for, too self-centered to bother thinking about it in those terms... we don’t know. And perhaps he does know perfectly well that Thomas won't do anything like that again and any lingering fear is of cooties or of people mistaking him for gay and him being in the line of fire along with Thomas next time! You can read him that way if you want. You can say “wtf I see no fear of any kind”. It’s a flexible canon and none of these interpretations are actually contradicted by the text. Indeed I happily read other interpretations and when I babbled in those tags it was more "this is the interpretation I am thinking about right now" than intended to assert it as my One True Headcanon that I will not deviate from. But Jimmy definitely has reasons to be afraid, and of more than cooties.

Of course Thomas also has logical and emotional reasons to be afraid of what Jimmy might do, I'm certainly not denying that. (In fact, one of the things I find so compelling about these two is that they both have such strong reasons not to trust each other and they both reach out anyway.) It seems that Thomas’s belief in who Jimmy is as a person supersedes those reasons (“He wouldn’t be so unkind. Not on his own.”) but if Jimmy has a similar belief about who Thomas he keeps it hidden at least until the fair.

P.S. please reconsider the phrase “has the right to be scared” in every context but especially when discussing someone’s reaction to a situation that involved them being sexually assaulted. I offer you the alternative “logical reason to be scared” or "compelling reason" as perhaps capturing what I hope you meant. I think that’s a language choice that really does matter a fair bit.

#*the reference thing is tricky to think about because on the one hand I don't think it would be out of line (ethically #it would definitely be out of line from a propriety standpoint)#for Jimmy to want to know that the incident was affecting Thomas's reference in some way #but I also don't actually know enough about service and references to know how much room for middle ground there was #like if the reference says 'efficient worker but has made other staff uncomfortable in the past' or some other euphemism what does that mea #was that the sort of thing reference writers did ever?#but I don't think Jimmy actually cared about this #so I guess it's moot #the storyline that shall not be named

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homosociallyyours · 3 years

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Your last post about the ideal stunt girlfriend! I have some thoughts on this as well. I think first of all as you said the preference is that they just do not exist that is essentially why anything and everything they do seems to be picked apart. I am not sure what it is that someone can do then if their existence is the problem. (This is only in context of the 1D fandom because I have no idea how stunt girlfriend might be treated elsewhere). The blame for the closeting is placed entirely on the shoulders of the stunt girlfriend as if she is the one forcing a closeting whereas we do not know anything going on behind the scenes. (Just want to add that there is nothing wrong with someone choosing to be closeted in order to navigate a homophobic industry and world and to protect oneself.) I know the common story told about larry is that external people are forcing things upon them or are sabotaging them and there may well have been times where they were advised strongly (or manipulated and mistreated when they were younger by those who should have tried to help them in the industry) to stay in the closet but that does not mean that they do not have any agency at all for anything especially not in the present day. Perhaps in an ideal world they may choose to disclose their sexuality and their relationship (but even if they did not they do not owe that to anyone. Anyways the problem is heteronormativity and assuming people are straight by default). I do personally believe that both Louis and Harry want to at least be recognized as part of the LBTQA community for as long as they do not state things publicly (and also show that they are together to those that recognize it. I am a larrie so that is my belief lol) and possibly do want to come out at some point (both about their individual sexualities and their relationship) but until then they do have to perform heterosexuality for many numbers of reasons. And while they do that there is a need for a stunt girlfriend whether as PR or just for the purpose of appearing straight depending on their career needs. I know people who will speak out against attacks on Olivia might still have issues with Eleanor because one is PR and one is not (this is a simplified version of the reasons and I don't want to go into comparisons or reasonings people have for anything. At the end of the day neither attacks is justified to me.)

Okay this is already quite long and I haven't yet got to the point sorry about that. I think at the end of the day the purpose of the stunt girlfriend (when there is no PR involved) is to help maintain the closet until the closet is required. It doesn't matter who the person is tbh. If it were not Eleanor it would have been someone else so people who say things about Eleanor's personality, looks, character, mistakes she may have made do not make sense to me. None of these people know her yet they have made their own head canon version of her which is always a negative version. It would be the same no matter who was in her place. I think Louis' purpose for Eleanor specifically has to do with the story he wants to tell with his music and in interviews (a story that could possibly be most similar to his actual relationship perhaps even if not entirely the same) and I do believe Eleanor specifically helps tell it (as his longest public relationship). It allows him to mention a girlfriend that has "helped him" through tough times and give anecdotes about his "girlfriend". I think Eleanor probably does other things behind the scenes like a personal assistant as well we just do not see it. But the Eleanor we do see is the image that we are shown, the image that tells the story that Louis wants told. And that story in itself is so interesting and to me just confirms things that I believe about his actual relationship. So its more intriguing to me than something to stress over or look at negatively. I don't know Eleanor but what I know is this is her job and she will do it. It is work and I don't know why it has been villainized. I understand being frustrated by the situation and feeling like Louis (and Harry) may have not been happy through stunts in the past (potentially) but that does not translate to hating the stunt girlfriend. Disliking a situation you are in does not mean you dislike everyone who is part of it. But yeah anyways the end point is I do not see any situation in which people would be happy with a stunt girlfriend.

It doesn't matter which song she posts there will always be some criticism over it. It doesn't matter if she just posts herself with dogs or doing influencing there will be a problem. It doesn't matter whether she posts about Louis or not there will be criticism in either case. Lastly it doesn't matter if she talks with Louis' sisters or not either way there will be arguments that they are not on good terms. So I am not quite sure what it is that an ideal stunt girlfriend can do for fans. I don't see any situation where people who have already decided to have a problem just based on the concept of her being a stunt girlfriend will suddenly stop. But talking about these things might help at least some people understand the bias? I just think the best approach is that she keep doing what she feels is best according to the story that she has to tell and ignore the criticism (which can be tough I know because of the immense amount of hate you can get for it). I think if I were to find and guide someone my focus would be on guiding them on how to navigate the hate and I guess general tips based on the story that needs telling. And I think when it comes to finding someone it is probably a mix of finding someone who would look like what the ideal image of a girlfriend to a popstar should look like (which has its own problems and really we need to reevaluate standards of deciding these things) and also someone who can do the other behind the scenes work too?

Idk I have done a lot of rambling (and still probably haven't got all my thoughts down lol) but it was definitely an interesting post that led to some thoughts I felt like discussing. I hope you do not mind my sending an anon with all these thoughts. You do not have to post it if you are afraid of the reaction and can instead reply in tags?

I just want to end with agreeing with what you said about considering bearding to be like sex work. And also thankyou for your post.

hi nonny! thank you for your long and thoughtful response :) i hope you don't mind that i'm publishing it-- i think you made some good points and i appreciate that you really tried to answer the question of who to pick and what to guide them to do. image would definitely be key, as would an internet presence of some kind. i imagine celeb pairings would mean more frequent but less involved appearances while a famous/not famous pair would be able to get away with fewer public spottings but maybe more in depth/intimate scenarios.

and i really think there's just no way to please everyone, but you're right that the blame for closeting seems to fall on the shoulders of the woman who's bearding. :/// that often goes hand in hand with the narrative that they're (still) being forcibly closeted instead of looking at the very real history of ex-boybanders and performers who came out, which is relatively bleak/unsuccessful and making a decision to try to gain more credibility as solo artists.

meanwhile i share your perception that they want to be seen/read as LGBTQ+ by those of us who are part of that community. signalling is real, and it's not based on stereotypes like "oh he wore makeup! he has a limp wrist!" i mean as a queer femme from the south, when i go home i tone myself down quite a lot, but i still wear/use symbols that other queer people are more likely to notice, tell stories about myself that indirectly mention my gender and sexuality, and engage with queer history when possible in ways that straight people just. wouldn't perceive.

but of course you can do all of that and STILL want or need to be in the closet!

i really appreciate you responding to my question, even though i think you're right that there's no answer that would make the hatred these women get any less virulent. i do hope that, like you said, talking about it is at least useful in getting more people to realize that maybe it's undeserved? beards don't build the closets, they just stand there to make sure nobody walks in on the person they're working with while they're half naked, basically.

#long post #closeting #stunt mention #1d #if i get anyone trying to say HL don't signal queerness you're getting blocked #as i hopefully made it clear this is simply how i (and the anon) view the situation #other people can post their perceptions on their own blogs-- that's what they're for :)

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mrs-nate-humphrey · 3 years

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ok so we have seen over and over again people's assumptions about how gg main characters's instagrams would look like but how do you think their secret tumblr blogs would be? 👀

hmm! i just went over tumblr in general, because i don’t think all of them would have ‘secret’ tumblrs per say? everyone’s thing under the cut, cause it got SO long. i did not mention chuck because i don’t rlly see chuck as having a tumblr in any universe tbh - i feel like he would think it takes away from his businessy vibe or something.

dan's main would be something with a ts eliot url, like, a snippet from one of his poems, or it would be a whitman url, a snippet from a poem again (i see him with a whitman url of some kind & maybe his blog title is an eliot reference.) dan would 100% have the whole dark academia thing going in some ways, i think his blog would be organised as a grid, and he would reblog pictures of libraries, museums, occasionally of art, and also, quotes. so many quotes. so much literature. if you've been on tumblr long enough you know exactly the kind of blog i'm talking about.

dan's tumblr sideblog, on the contrary, would have nothing to link it to him. it'd probably be the tumblr default theme, pastel colours or something... i feel like dan is the specific genre of trans kid who uses a different set of pronouns online for anonymity purposes and then goes "wait a minute i like these pronouns BETTER". his url would be something extremely mundane and random like coffeeaddict779 or something, and it would be all #vent and #dont reblog. nobody who's following his sideblog knows what his main is, and vice versa.

serena would i think have one of those "be kind, do no harm :)" kind of hipster tumblr blogs, except she's incredibly sincere. she wouldn't have a sideblog, i don't think? and i don't think she'd attach her name to it in any way, probably just pronouns in bio and maybe a 'call me S'. she and dan would be mutuals on dan's main! her blog will be very, uh. aesthetic pictures, reblogs of dolphin videos and music and WIP art videos and anything else that'll catch her eye. she'll tag blair in fashion vids, nate in sailing posts, dan in literary stuff, and vanessa in film related/photography related things. she's having fun! every now and then she'll post a vent post but it's extremely vague and it's either something everyone who knows her irl already knows about her ('i hate my mom so much') or something that says practically nothing ('i am so worried about my brother and wish i could do more to help him.')

jenny's fashion inspo blog!!!! what more do you want me to say. she'd make it big in the fashion community and get anons all the time and she'd probably also have an etsy where she sells things she's sewn and made. everyone sort of knows she's an up and coming designer and she'd find a good community online hopefully!!! her blog would be something simple, with a url like jennydesigns or something (i bet that's taken rn, i havent checked) and her theme would be one of those themes that allows for u to have big images. she would probably post vents in the same way serena does, tag them #personal or #rambles, and have that neat code that allows for the tag to be filtered out whenever anyone views her page on desktop, you know?

i think eric would not have anything specific that he posts. he would just reblog random things - memes, things he finds interesting, jenny's original posts, stuff serena tags him in, cat videos, lgbtq+ positivity, etc. he'd try and stay out of drama (i think he'd turn anon off eventually.) he’d also post a lot of music reblogs or links, i feel?

vanessa's main blog would be one where she posts her own photos and films. because she's professional about it, it'd probably just be @ vanessaabrams. she'd have a sideblog specifically for reblogging other people’s work because she wants to support other artists, and it would be vanessareblogs or something like that, and her bio would mention “main tumblr @ vanessaabrams”. she’d be much adored in the photo/film community and just in general, because she’s one of the few people who hypes up other creators all the time and leaves nice comments in tags and all that. every now and then serena reblogs vanessa’s photography onto her blog and it almost always blows up, but vanessa doesn’t mind. i don’t think vanessa would have a vent blog or even a personal tag, she gives me big ‘i wanna keep my business totally off the net’ kind of vibes.

nate’s blog would be a lot like serena’s except, uh, more openly wanderlusty i think. a LOT of ocean reblogs. every now and then he reblogs keroauc quotes from dan which the girls find extremely hilarious. he talks a lot about sailing and gets a lot of sailing anons. he’d reblog a lot of positivity (mostly because he knows his friends are following him and he wants to brighten up their dash.) dan and vanessa jokingly dm him weed aesthetic posts all the time, but every time they do he reblogs and tags it ‘sent to me’ or somehting like that, and they cant decide whether to be flattered or embarrased. i think nate would also attract a lot of anons who ask for advice and it is something he never expected people coming to him for, but he definitely listens and shares whatever he’s got to say all the same. he’s this blog who should be weirdly niche but everyone sort of knows him and likes him.

saving the best for the last, lol. i have SO many thoughts about blair’s tumblrs.

i think she’d have a main tumblr that’s solely for classic film stuff (audrey! and more) and that’d be @ blairwaldorf, because, well, duh. i think she’d pay for a tumblr theme and get one of those really fancy and cute ones, like a floralcodes ms paint theme. i think she’d also have a sideblog that’s less serious, where she’d reblog things from tv shows, reblog things serena or nate have tagged her in, write her own meta for fandoms she’s in, just generally be a multifandom mess with a #personal tag but nothing too personal. it would still be classy, because she’s blair, but on this blog, she’s just a girl having fun.

and then she’d have a THIRD blog, a sideblog that doubles up as a vent blog. and this one isn’t linked to her other two in an obvious way, nobody knows it’s her, etc. on here she’d probably post a lot about her ed (but i think in a ‘i am struggling and i want to bitch’ way, not in a thinspo way - that’s a whole conversation i have no spoons for, so let’s not go there), she’d post about her insecurities and worries but it would be extremely untraceable. she’d have a fancy theme on this one too, despite it being a vent blog.

hm. now im thinking of the potential of like. dan and blair interacting super frequently on their vent blogs and neither of them knowing it’s the other person!

#meta #this was fun! thanks for the ask #i was initally gonna edit graphics #who knows i still may #but i realised that would take WAYYY too long #so have my words instead #anon #tumblr au #so i can find later if i need it

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dallonm-archive · 4 years

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So I Turned Church Mud Into A Novel Lol Oops | NaNoWriMo 2020

Folks the JOURNEY I have been on in the last 3 days. I’ve been on a great albeit chaotic Church Mud high and it led to? This?

For those who don’t know, Church Mud is meant to be a ~7k words short story for my writing dissertation (and it still is). I attempted to do Draft Zero over summer, completely missed the mark, pretended it didnt exist for a month and here we are. One thing I learnt from that attempt though was that there is a much wider story to be told than what we’d see in those 7k words. Back then I was content with it only existing as a short story, not having all the parts told, because I liked the idea of Felix and Dorothy existing in this small window with a happy ending that’d otherwise be temporary. But I cannot help myself :) I met my advisor on Wednesday and reaffirmed that I’m at a really good place with this story in terms of ideas, themes and character - what’s missing was just the plot. So that’s what I’ve been working on (and killing my sleep schedule over) since, and what happened was: I realise most of my ideas wouldn’t fit the short story --> But they’d work in a novel --> So I guess I’m writing Church Mud as a novel after I graduate? --> But I kinda wanna write it now --> But I can’t --> But I want to --> Chloe your dissertation --> Hey you want more novel content? Here’s chapter titles --> God I Can’t Wait To Write This As A Novel --> Hey that thing where you write a novel in a month is happening soon...could be a...perfect excuse to...….,,,

So I had a ~revelation~ at 4am: why can’t I write it now? NaNoWriMo coincides with when I’m meant to brainstorm this story, so why don’t I take what I have and pants it as a novel, intentionally #LoseNano2020 and use what I wrote to infer what the short story will look like whilst also have a Draft Zero to work with/finish/rewrite next year? I debated if this was a good idea because it felt ~unconventional~ but I realised that a) I want to write this as a novel anyway and b) this is where I’m loving the project and that’s what matters and c) makes it feel less like uni work lol I’ve spent the all day playing around with what Church Mud The Novel would look like, and not only am I o b s s e s s e d but it also taught me? so much? about the short story? I was worried it’d get complicated but from the vague plot idea I have, I have a clear vision of Church Mud The Short Story separate from the novel, but I also see how it would fit into the novel as a chapter, and seeing where it’d fit in has really helped me figure out where it sits in the twins’ lives and so many elements I hadn’t considered before. I believe very strongly in Writers Intuition and my intuition is telling me that this is the direction I need to go with this project. My only issue is Church Mud doesn’t fit as a title for the novel at all and was never going to be the title, but I really don’t care oop, I’m not titling it until next year unless I come up with a title so good I want to change the short story as well lmao. But other than that this is working so well for me and really catalysed the momentum I already had atm for this story. I’ve also wanted to rework how I share Church Mud things here and this is a perfect way to at least for the next month, but before I ramble more lets actually talk about where the story is!

CHURCH MUD

Genre: literary fiction Setting: California (+ probably some other states? Idk I’m not American wtf is a state), 1986 POV: third person present + retrospective moments, split between twins Felix and Dorothy The Vibes: hazy summers, hot air, 3am, saltwater breeze, grainy photographs, empty roads at night, the moon blurred by clouds, arms resting out car windows, abandoned churches, telephone boxes, getting lost on purpose, cigarette smoke, dust from an old Bible Deals with: faith & the weaponization of it to control others, identity, perceptions of reality, chosen family, independence v co-dependence, free will, trauma & what it means to “let go”

CONTENT WARNINGS: religion/religious imagery (specifically Christianity), trauma, toxic relationships, inferred addiction (all updates will be tagged with these/any more specific warnings)

This is still in very early conception, in the sense of it’s existence as a novel, but it’s definitely an expansion on the ideas I had for the short story, where these two seek to let go of their past together so they can live their own, new lives, and also restore their tangled relationship that could never be fixed through letters and distant contact. When Dorothy left the controlling religious cult she grew up in, she never gave herself a chance to properly process the complicated emotions that came with that decision, or the trauma she went through, opting to cope with it by putting all her energy into building her new life and embracing her identity. Watching her brother navigate the same new, confusing path she took four years ago forces her to look back on her own experience, and the repressed memories of events that prompted her to leave in the first place. When Felix catches up with her, he struggles with the realisation that adjusting to this new life and world won’t be easy, and whilst it was the right choice, his impulsive decision has ramifications. Trauma does not necessarily stay in the place you associate it with and for Felix, it’s like seeing all of it from a birds eye view, all at once, including everything he blocked out. With his faith, his sister, and his drive to be a good person, he has hope for himself and the world, but the pain and anger he harbours will not make it easy for him. ^by no means a pitch literally just the copy paste of the quick summary I wrote for myself lmao

The most exciting part of this to me is how different, yet similar the novel feels. This version of the story isn’t necessarily happier, it’s still rough around the edges, but it’s definitely from a different mindset and there’s this haziness to it that doesn’t exist in the short story. It feels like a grainy home video that they’d never let see the light of day. I wouldn’t call it dreamlike or softer because of this, but there is this distinct tonal shift from the short story to the novel that I can only describe through the aforementioned Vibes. As I said, I have an idea of where the short story would fit into the novel’s timeline as a chapter, but they still won’t be the same. The short story is obviously more restricted to one singular event, and that turns the intensity and tension up high. This difference is also 100% influenced by the fact that the short story is set only at night (bar for some potential flashbacks), and the night plays a huge thematic and atmospheric role. Of course parts of the novel will take place at night, but the presence of daytime changes the mindset to me? In the short story it feels like they’re stuck in this perpetuate-esque night, whereas in the novel you know that the sun will always rise.

This story is also very different aesthetically, but at the same time elements of the short story’s aesthetic come into play and clash with the unique aesthetic of the novel, where they coexist, but are also in conflict with each other. As you can tell from these two moodboards where you can really see how for the second I gave up trying to make it coherent lmao:

To me there are two distinct aesthetics, and they are both very different and exist in different ways, but they are both inherently part of the story, and it feeds into this idea of perception of reality and these two realities that the twins perceive: the “outside world” and the gated world they grew up in.

The stars of the show, my favourite disaster twins:

Not fragile, but not made of stone either

Loves very hard, sometimes more than she’d like

A protective and loyal soul, especially with those she loves, but she never wants to forget to protect herself

If I’m in love with my best (female) friend, no I’m not <3

-goes to the edge of the pier and stares wistfully at the ocean so everyone knows that I am the main character-

Loves her brother more than anyone else but is struggling to figure out his new role in her life. As teenagers she felt painfully tethered to him because they were always The Twins, and she had nobody else, as adults she hopes to find a balance between their deeply close bond and their harshly different lives

Arc driven by defining your identity and then redefining it, and facing the parts of it you’d rather lock far away. Also deals with her experience growing up as a girl in a religious cult in the 60s/70s, and the relationship faith has with her feminist identity.

As of now, there’s more focus on him in the novel, since the short story focuses on Dorothy and I feel to write him from an observer perspective I need to get into his head first

Just found out restarting your life completely is hard?

Trying to be a good person, wants to be a good person, but there’s an anger in him that he hates but it’s festering and it’s growing

But ultimately he is a sweet and soft person and that’s what he wants to be in life even though it’s hard, it shows especially with his sister

I think at some point he locks himself in a cabin and? I would too

Centred around perception of trauma and v influenced by my own experiences with that, where you think things will be easier as soon as you leave that situation but really it just makes you look at everything from a distance and be like “what the fuck?? that actually happened??” (which conflicts with the fact that you KNOW you’re in a better place and you would never go back, but it hurts and it’s hard especially understanding the placement of your trauma in this new space)

I need to give this dude and his sister a happy ending for my own wellbeing. I don’t know how that’ll look but these two will get their happy endings. I actually don’t think I’ve loved two characters more and I love all my characters deeply

And I think that’s all for now! This 100% was not the direction I expected to take but I am so glad I did, and I also love the opportunity to reintroduce this story because good Lord it’s changed so much (and this instance is the most change). I also think this is the perfect Nano scenario for me, as someone who’s never done it before, there’s zero pressure on me to “win” because I don’t expect to even finish this. I’m just going to see where it takes me and see what it’s given me at the end of the month. I’m also not outlining this at all lmao, one because me and outlines do not get along but also my Preptober is just. the work I have to do for my dissertation anyway, which is reading and gathering a lot of fiction/nonfiction about cults/religion, and all the weird and unhinged takes on it. It’s very slow but it’s also fun! My uni work this weekend is literally to read The Girls by Emma Cline so I think I won here?? I also want to dedicate the rest of October to the short stories I planned to write for Nano (I was going to work on my collection).

I don’t know if I’ll do a taglist for this - I have the og Church Mud one but like I said I’m rethinking how I want to share this story and updates for this will only be regular in November so?? But chances are I will be constantly on my bullshit for the next month and a half with this story, pretty update or no pretty update

My NaNoWriMo page is here, although fair warning I have No idea how this site works, this is my boomer moment. Excited to clown about this story though!

- Chloe

#first off my fatal flaw is interchanging between Felix and Dorothy and Dorothy and Felix #second off i would die and kill for them #writing #amwriting #writeblr #writeblr community #religion /#trauma /#nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2020

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franeridart · 4 years

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Anon said: How are you just like "Oh these are just some warm up sketches" and post a full finished piece, while I'm over here sketching a triangle person and calling it a finished piece.

I dunno if this was a legit question asking for a legit answer, but I do happen to have a legit answer so I might as well give it! If I wanted to go into detals with it it’d take me forever though, so allow me to separate it into two points to make it easier

I learnt how to be very fast in putting down my lines and trained myself into not overthinking every single dot I put down. This took about five or six years of drawing daily and a whole life of drawing occasionally before then, because to do so you need to reach a point where you’re drawing something you’ve drawn so many times that by now your hand sort of goes without you needing to think about it much, so it’s not a fast process, but boy is it worth it. Mostly learning how to not overthink it, overthinking it used to be 90% of my time spent on a drawing and dear god did it suck the joy out of everything I drew

I have two very distinctive ways of approaching a drawing, one where I actually put effort in it and the other where I just want to let the squiggles out of my pen, and warm ups are the second one - the lack of effort I’m putting in can have different forms and show in different ways, so a warm up could be a fully colored piece as it could be just a pencil doodle, depending on where and on what exactly I’m being lazy: it could be the type of tool I’m using that allows me to draw without having to line, it could be a very tiny canvas that lets me avoid a ton of details a big canvas would demand. I might be cutting the time I usually put in making sure my anatomy is correct, I might be using a shading technique that takes a tenth of the time my usual one would, I might be using a style that’s just easier and faster to draw, or drawing characters I’ve drawn a trillion times in extremely generic poses and clothes. There’s a lot of things that I can do to make things faster for me! It’s skills you gain as you draw a lot - you learn how to draw things the hard way, and then you realize that along the way you learnt how to do them the easy way too

hope this actually answers your question! If it was a question at all lol if it wasn’t then sorry for rambling, please pretend I didn’t say anything hahaha

Anon said: I love your newest comic!!! So adorable!! I noticed Bakugou's mom does the affectionate hair rustle thing to him in the manga/anime, do you think Bakugou subconsciously does the same to show affection cause of it? I love the way you draw faces and poses, it's so expressive!!

Ahhhhh thank you so much!!! And yeah, it might be! After all we do take a lot from the people we live with even without realizing, and he’s already so similar to his mom!

Anon said: I saw your bakushima comic from October 9th (2019) where Bakugo falls asleep studying and Kirishima sets him down on the table properly and it was so soft my heart is crying

;;;;; !!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked it!! <3<3

Anon said: If it not to much, could I possibly get a Ochamina doodle pls? I just love some sweet lesbeans 👉👈

Awww I’m not taking requests right now, but I’ll keep it in mind for next time I want to doodle and don’t know what!

Anon said: I love your art! I envy you.

Please don’t! There’s a lot of reasons why being me isn’t a lot of fun - if it’s just my skill you envy, then all you gotta do is draw a lot!

Anon said: i just went through your entire kiribaku tag and omg it was beautiful seeing the progression in your art skills but still keeping the same funny/cute/heartwarming/etc traits you thought up for their dynamic!! i hope that makes sense haha !! love your art keep it up

It does make sense!!! Thank you so much both for looking through the whole tag and for thinking so, it means a lot to me!! ;;; <3<3

Anon said: Hey fran! I hope you're doing well(especially with quarantine and all)!! I really love your anatomy and how fluid and stylistic it can be! It's super fun to look at! I wanted to ask you if you ever did any in depth studies on anatomy? Like muscles and bones. I've heard a lot of artists mention the necessity of studying bones/muscles, i'd really like to know your opinion on the subject

Ahhh god thank you so much!! And... hmm let’s see if I can word this properly and have it make sense - always keeping in mind that this is just my opinion, of course!

If all you want to do is to draw, then all you need to do is to pick up your pencil and draw - it’s really that easy as far as I’m concerned. You don’t need to know anatomy in depth to just draw, everyone has seen a person, everyone knows how a person looks. That is, if all you want to do is to draw for the sake of drawing. If you want to draw an anatomically correct looking human being, though, you do need to know how anatomy works - and the deeper you’ll go into studying it the more correct your people will look. It’s kind how everyone can draw a bicycle, but if you want to draw a realistic bicycle you’re gonna need to look up references for it, you know? It’s all on the level at which you’re interested in drawing, the more technically skilled you want to be the more you’ll have to study

As for my personal experience with this, I hate studying with a passion. Studying puts a damper on my enjoyement of everything, and drawing isn’t excluded from this - you put a book in front of me expecting me to study it and suddenly I never want to pick up a pencil again. This means that I never sat down and studied anatomy in depth and all in one go just to learn how to draw a human being, but it doesn’t mean that I didn’t, slowly and now and again and in bits and pieces, study parts of the body to get a better understanding of it. I know better about the skeleton than I do about muscles, and I still have enough to learn about everything that anyone who’s studied anatomy properly would find a trillion mistakes in everything I draw, but my way of going about drawing has always been and always will be putting my enjoyement of it first and foremost, so I’m not interested in putting myself through a tour-de-force to learn everything there is to know about anatomy just to make my doodles look appealing to someone with a medical degree haha I’m just doing me, and when the mood is right I look up how to properly draw something, but until then I just do it as best as I can with my limited knowledge, being fully aware that what I’m producing is far from accurate but being willing to make that compromise for my own comfort

So that’s my opinion on it lol it all boils down to how important it is for you to know how to properly draw the human body - of course it’s gonna look more professional and better if you’ve studied it, but everyone has their own priorities, you know?

Anon said: Thank you for your hard work, seeing an upload from you is so nice, and the colors are so pretty

Thank you so muuuuccchhhhh!!!! TTATT <3<3<3

Anon said: Opinions on Tokoyami Fumikage 💕

One of my top faves in the whole manga, actually! I have a drawing in the making of him, I should get back to it..........

Anon said: HOLY SHIT FRAN THE TOES HOW YOU DRAW THE TOES SO WELL FEET ARE THE DEATH OF ME AND YOU’RE OVER HERE DRAWING TOES THEY’RE SO GOOD PLEASE TEACH ME YOUR WAYS!!! -❤️

Thank you!!!!!!!! So pretty much my way of learning this specific skill was being obsessed with elves when I was fifteen and wanting to draw them all the time and also for whatever reason being convinced that they were not supposed to wear shoes so I just drew a lot of feet with references and tutorials and stuff till I could draw my elves properly. Which isn’t necessarily what you need to do to learn how to draw feet, but, I mean, it worked for me lol

Anon said: I love ur Bnha ships and all but what would u do if some of them didn’t become canon??

Oh, I actually don’t care about that at all? I don’t expect most of them to become canon anyway - like, ochadeku sounds reasonable and kamijirou seems to be getting there, but everything else I never even considered it as an actual possibilily. I don’t really ship because I want to see my ships become canon, I just like the potential in what I can make with them? If that makes sense? They’re just fun to think about and I like making fancontent, that’s all there is to it really haha honestly if I had my way no ship would ever be canon ever ha ha ha

Anon said: Slep is for the wek

No actually sleep is for Frans who want a chance at getting up tomorrow morning without an headache for once, so I should do that and go to sleep already lmao

#fran answers #a couple of long ones in this one !!!!!#feeling blabbery tonight

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follychromatic · 3 years

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Welcome to Follychromatic!

Welcome to Redwood Village! My name is Dimonds456, and I’m here to tell you about this world! This is essentially an FAQ, except no one’s asked a whole lot of questions yet aha.

What is Follychromatic?

Follychromatic is an original story that I am working on. The idea is that it would be a cartoon show, with at least 3 seasons, maybe more. The idea started out as just me wanting to make my own cartoon that worked with the 1930′s animation style, but it kinda... evolved from there. Now it’s Very Complicated lol.

What is the plot?

What I can tell you is that the world is black and white. Redwood Village is home to many residents, all of whom have a place. Everyone fits into their roles perfectly, and their society is perfect, and everyone is content! ...Except, maybe not.

One day, Fauna the Fox overhears a wolf calling out several flaws in the system, and is tempted to learn more. When she follows her out of town, she and the wolf- named Emma- have a talk, only for their eyes to suddenly and inexplicably change color! What does it mean? Is that good or bad? They set out to try and mend their broken homes, and meet many friends- and many rivals- on the way.

How much content do you have on Follychromatic so far?

Here? Not a lot. Written out on Discord to a friend and etched in my mind? At least 3 hours of conversation material! With a ton more on the way!

I am also, as of writing this (February 18, 2021), making an animatic for a potential pilot episode, so stay tuned for that! If it’s been a while, see if it’s already done. The tag is #/pilot episode !

What are some themes to look for in here?

I want to say a lot with this story. It is going to have themes of sexism and positive imagery, positive LGBTQ+ representation and homophobia, a trans character, a nonbinary character (and possibly more of each), racism and the consequences of it, implicit bias (which we all have, even me, and more people need to be aware of), Very Fluffy Valid Boys, references out the ying-yang, determined teenagers, different relationships (both healthy and toxic, romantic or otherwise), a few characters with ADHD, many with mental illness, I want to do autism as well and am currently researching the heck out of it, positive portrayals of all three of those, and much more.

My goal is to bring to light a lot of issues that our modern society needs to address, no matter how uncomfortable we are about it. There needs to be positive representation of different religions, and the gay person shouldn’t just be the comedic relief, and aroace people exist! Homeless people need to be discussed, and positive, healthy ways of dealing with them and helping them out. Drugs is another thing I want to talk about. All four ways of abuse need to be discussed (mental, physical, emotional, and societal). And I’m not done, but I’ll stop there.

Woah woah woah, what is the age group? I thought this was a cartoon!

It is! I hope. I am gearing it towards all ages so everyone can understand, but my target audience is going to be ages 12-adult. Anyone should be able to sit down, enjoy, and understand, but there are a lot of sensitive topics in here that I will not handle lightly or disrespectfully. Besides, many cartoons have talked about dark themes before and gotten away with it. ;)

Okay, who’s our main cast?

Well, the main character is Fauna the Fox (though I’m debating giving them all last names since there are multiple Fox families). She’s the one really keeping up morale and driving for a better place. Then, Emma the Wolf, who was the one to show Fauna that people everywhere are suffering, where Fauna thought it was just her. Dante the Dog is the local jock with a surprisingly large soft side, Momo the Monkey is a street magician (he’s also the funny one), Cassy the Cat is the one who is always looking for a bright side and is probably the mom friend, Rose the Rabbit is the passive-aggressive friend who won’t hesitate to insult you, but also will cheer you on every step you make, and finally, Ben the Bunny, who is the quiet, shy one we found out in the woods one day and immediately adopted.

How can I follow this story? Can I help in any way?

Not asking for money here (idk what to do with it if ya gave it to me anyway), but I do have a Discord server you can hop on! I take story suggestions there and go much more in-depth on the whole thing. Plus, there, you can see (almost) all the art I make as I make it. Of course, the same applies here, too, but Discord will be easier for everyone to manage. :)

Do you take asks and submissions? Can I tag you in stuff?

ABSOLUTELY YES. Flood my inbox! My rules for tagging here are they have to be related to this story somehow (even if it’s just a “this post reminds me of Momo” or something). If you just wanna tag me, my name is @Dimonds456. Tag that blog instead. :)

Do the colors have meaning?

Depends. Their placement on the body definitely does, but the colors themselves? Depends on the situation, and the character’s means of getting those colors...

That’s all for now! If you still have questions, I repeat, flood my inbox! I’d love to answer any questions you might have! I love this world, and all these characters, and I could ramble about them for probably years if you let me (don’t let me go that long though- I need water first, at least).

Discord server HERE! The link should take you to the welcome page.

Old banner below!

#faq #masterpost #follychromatic #dimonds456 #original story #frequently asked questions #original characters #cartoon

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waywardfacegarden · 4 years

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TAG GAME!

I was tagged by @mipadremadara !! Thank you so much??? I was so beyond words, so flattered, haha😅💕 Probably really dork-y, but I'm a total dork according to Sources, so.

Rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Top 3 ships:

Now this is just plain cruel lol, how am I supposed to choose ONLY 3??!?!? Impossible. But well, I'm going to write three of my main:

1) Narusasu/Sasunaru (of course. like who do you take me for??? Lol. they'll always be my number 1 :'D They have such a special place in my heart. And I have nothing to add about them because if I start I'll never shut up.)

2) Todobaku because I'm utterly OBSESSED with them recently lol. They have so much potential!! And the ship just keeps getting more and more interesting, the chemistry is off the charts!! The potential angst! The dumbassery! Nothing better than two dumbasses being in love. Two socially awkward, emotional disasters boys falling deep in love without knowing?? Oof, what is better than that??

3) Now this one was HARD because I have so many ships!!! But finally, I set up for one that I recently got to know and it's totally the cutest thing ever?? I don't even know their ship name (and sadly, I think there's not EVEN one, the fandom is so small I guess???) but they're Endou and Yamai from Konbini-kun; they're the cutest, softest thing ever?? Just a pure gay boy scared of being gay for Reasons getting to know (and falling for) his same-age boy co-worker, deliquent-who's-not-a-deliquent-at-all-and-is-actually-the-sweetest-bean-slash-animal-lover???? Oof. I love them both. They're my kids. ENDOU IS M Y BOY AND IF ANYONE EVER HURTS HIM I'LL KILL THEM WITHOUT DOUBT. Also, Yamai is so freaking sweet????????!!! Should be a crime. He's an adorable, gentle, amazing good boy, I love him.

+ As a bonus:

Harold/Sam/Nobu from the Canis Series (The Speaker) are The OT3, thank you very much. Never in my life have I ever fell in love so deep with a poly ship (CANON. CANON POLY SHIP) with three broken boys that are currently the "villians" of the story. Heartbreaking, full of angst ship, yet so beautiful. (IF YOU EVER READ THIS. [WHICH I REC SM] BE WARNED THAT THE STORY IS DARK. THE FIRST PART NO, BUT THIS SPECIFIC PART [THE SECOND] IS FULL OF DARK SHIT. Amazingly well-written and heart-wrenching but. Yeah. It's dark and heavy. Idk to describe HOW much but it is.)

Andddd Yuiji/Yamato from Koimonogatari, bc even if they're not canon I'm so rooting for them??? I hope they get together bc they DESERVE each other. They're just so sweet and their relationship is SO real and natural idek how to describe this warm feeling that fills me every time I see them. (Just for a bit of context, Yamato is gay and likes Yuiji's best friend. But for reasons, Yuiji realizes this, tells Yamato, and after Yamato Panics Yuji assures him he's not going to tell anyone bc he actually Likes Him As A Person (quoting) and he doesn't want to hurt him. They become friends and then get closer and become Friends who trust each other way too much and it's just really sweet how fond Yuiji is of Yamato??? My heart swells. He just looks at him with the softest eyes and [I know I said this was going to be brief but you know me already, you really thought I was going to be brief????? Haha no sir] he's so understanding??? He's always listening to Yamato without judging, asking him if he's okay, worrying about him, CARING, and cheering him up, it's just???? Even if they don't get together, they're the purest friendship ever.

One of my top ten moments from them:

Yuiji to Yamato: You are totally pessimistic, too damn honest, a real pain in the ass, but... I like you. [...] Someday, I hope you come to love yourself as well.

Yeah I didn't even had to look it up, THAT'S how much I read the scene and painted in my mind lol.)

Carrying on to the next question after all my rambling...

Last movie you watched:

I just watched The Fundamentals of Caring yesterday. Paul Rudd is shining as always, of course. Kind of dark humor with a slice of romance and emotional shit that left me crying lol. It was really really good imo, perfect Teens Who Don't Give a Shit and Adopting a New Family vibes. Messy but really well-done imo. (I'm just rec and promoting every thing I watch/read/ship at this point huh...)

Reading:

I'm currently reading only mangas AAAA, hahaha. I'm with Koimonogatari (still on going), Owari no Seraph, Haikyuu!!, The Speaker, Red White and Royal Blue (first and only book on this list lol), Omamorishimasu Dokomademo (hope I wrote this correctly loool), Kimi wa Natsu no Naka and Blue Sky Complex :))

Next on my reading list:

Seven Days (bc I heard this manga is Gold), Origin (a manga I bought months ago and never read), L's light-novel (The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases), Himitsu, and Golden Days.

Also, I made a bow with myself to read every single last manga Hayakawa Nojiko has made because their art is the most stunning, poetic, alluring thing I've ever laid my eyes on. So simple yet so, so unbelievable pretty. Also, their mangas are so so so good and so so so sweet and well-written??? Best mangaka goes to Hayakawa-sensei.

And from books, "Last Night I sang to the Monster" has been on my I-need-to-read-this list since soooo long. Benjamín is my favorite author. I hope I can give me some time to read it later.

What food are you craving right now:

For some reallyyyy weird reason, sea-food??? Lmao I don't even know. My cravings have been varying from fried-chicken burger from KFC to That Strawberry Cheesecake from SAM's lmao. It's pretty weird. But right now???? Give me shrimps. Fish. I'm In Need. Looool.

I'm tagging (although you're not under Any Obligation to do it if you don't want to) @tatakaedrey @jackverglas @tetsuskitten and I don't know who else???? Ahh haha, whoever wants to do it, I guess??😅

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR TAGGING ME :')

#about me #tag game #hdkshdk what else should i tag this #you already know how messy i am if you follow my blog but get to know how more messy i can be ;)

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laws-yellow-submarine · 4 years

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Updated Rules!

Hey guys, with the anniversary of the blog rolling around, and after taking such a long (but needed) break, I’ve decided I need to update/actually post some rules lol these will be linked in my description so they’ll be easy to refer back to! It’s nothing too crazy, just my attempts to keep myself from getting overwhelmed again; this blog was always meant to be fun and a way to relax, and if I get overwhelmed then it’s not serving that purpose.

1. Maximum of 3 characters per headcanons request! Scenarios are a maximum of 1 character! The more characters you ask for, the less detailed I can be, so keep that in mind when requesting. If you request more characters than what I allow, I’ll just drop a character to make it fit, so be aware!

2. NO MORE FULL NSFW ALPHABETS!! I can’t do it. It’s too much lol Maximum of 5 letters please! I am still ok if you ask for 3 characters with this, but remember more characters = less details!

3. I will always let you guys know when requests are closed! I admit I’m not always great about updating the description right away (I have to be on PC or the links get screwy), but if I haven’t updated it yet then the most recent post will always be the “Requests Closed” post. If something is sent in while requests are closed, I’ll try to at least let you know I’m not taking requests at that time, but if too many come in then I’ll just start deleting them. Please double check the main blog page before sending something in!

4. If you’ve been here a while you already know this, but for anyone who doesn’t I am a stay-at-home-mom to an almost 2 year old. Sometimes I take a while to answer requests, and I’ll probably have to take breaks more often just because my attention is needed elsewhere. Please be patient with me. If I haven’t explicitly said I won’t write your request, then it’s likely still sitting in my inbox and I just haven’t gotten to it yet. I try to get to everything in a timely manner, but sometimes things happen. I haven’t had any problems from anyone so far, but as we grow I just wanted to put that out there to hopefully head off any potential issues.

5. Related to #4, I also tend to talk about my son a lot; he’s a very important part of my life and I like being able to interact on this blog like I would normally, without having to hide aspects of myself. I post on this blog more than my main blog, which has now been reduced to reblogging whatever shitpost tickles my fancy at the time lol However I do recognize not everyone wants to hear about my kid or my rambling, so I do use the tags “leyna speaks” and “the spawn child” for related posts. Feel free to blacklist if you prefer!

6. Lastly, I reserve the right to refuse any request, for any reason or even no reason at all. Sometimes things just don’t work for my brain, or something will squick me out without me realizing. I really don’t have a problem with the nature of most requests, so I’m not going to try and list what I won’t write about because I can’t definitively say I 100% wouldn’t write something, but just know if I do refuse a request it’s nothing personal!

That’s all I got! Obviously I’m not gonna bite your head off if you send something that goes against these, I just wanted to have a general guideline for everyone to go off of! I really love this blog, and I really can’t believe just how much joy I get from checking in everyday. So thanks for being a part of it!

#rules

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shadowdianne · 5 years

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One word prompt: Vermillion. (Any pairing you want. Bonus for if it’s one I don’t know but you’d recommend. 😁)

A/N As Isaid to you earlier and for purely transparency sake I might have had asmallish fangirling moment lol. Anyway; since I’m a glutton for punishment Idecided to take two routes rather than solely one -because what’s life of a ficwriter if not that- The first take of the prompt is SwanQueen since, you know,we will always love these two ladies far too much :P

The secondis a Cissamione one, which I will reblog and add to this later so I don’tdouble tag and make this even more complicated than it’s already going to be. Thereason behind it lies majorly because it has quickly become my go-to secondship and I like the many opportunities one might take with them. (I’m choosing to blame @delirious-comfort here) The fact that Narcissa has alsobecome a delight to write and read has nothing to do about this; nope, nada.

Either way,enough of the rambling: I truly hope you like my take on this Emma. Thank youso much yet again for trusting me this prompt 😉

Set on:After s7 finale. Remember the color-coding of their magic back at s4? Yes,that.

1.-Vermillion [SQ Version]

/vərˈmɪliən/

“Have this happened to you before?”

Regina eyed Emma as the blonde poured a secondhelping of her cider before sitting in the couch in front of her. The warmgolden hue of the light softened some of the sharp angles the younger womanseemed to be made of; shadows crawling up her cheeks, down the silver ofcollarbone exposed by the loose collar of the shirt she wore. There was notrick, however, for her jittery movements, the way her fingers trembled andjumped against the surface of the glass and Regina could do nothing but focuson those as she, too, swirled the tumbler, lost in thought. Careful as she wasof not letting the drink fall, Regina was able to feel the liquid through thebarrier of the glass; the temperature of the room and the cider itself similarenough for her to not dare to drink it. Gripping the tumbler as strongly as possible, she tilted her head while the younger woman spread her legs, elbows restingagainst her knees, middle finger and thumb the only connecting points that keptthe drink from falling down into the carpeted floor.

Tongue probing her teeth, Regina let out a shortsigh as she crossed her left leg over the right, the movement one a part ofherself -the one that hadn’t quite gone away after her own trip over time and magicalcurses- still found strange. Stealing yet another glance to the younger woman,Regina dived into Emma’s green eyes, at the touch of gold that, dissimilarenough from the light inside her studio, seemed to bounce from speck to speckof blue.

Gold suited her. The thought was loud enoughfor her to not be able to dismiss it quickly enough, and the brunette foundherself pushing her body away from her seat, the sound of her high-heels mutedbut still loud enough to let her breathe through her nose, nervousness takingover.

She could lie. She knew as much. She could lieand pretend so they both could feign Regina wasn’t aware that Emma would alwaysknow when she was being facetious. It would involve a far too convoluted planning;however, one Regina didn’t feel like going through. Not when her magic kept oncrackling inside of her, wave after wave crashing against her diaphragm as shetried to regain her bearings.

“Everyone owns a signature.” Her voice feltscratchy against her throat and, despite her reticence, she let the cider touchher lips for a split second while she gave her back to Emma, eyes lost now onthe paneling of the walls. There was just so much one could do, she reasoned;her mind’s eye conjuring not only the panicked look Emma had sported as she hadknocked on her door several minutes earlier but on the lack of a ring on herhands. A ring she had learned to hate the moment she had seen it sneaking itsway around pale flesh. “A magic one.Signatures do not change: they aren’t linked to the type of magic one preforms buton what one is.”

She could hear Emma moving at her back, thesound of one hand brushing against jeans with strength enough to probably leavea faint imprint on the fabric making her swallow as her body was assaulted oncemore with the whispering heat of deep red. Red that was too vibrant, too powerful,against her usual lilac.

She had noticed the changes, of course she had;she had noticed the vein-like traces of red that had begun to appear every timeshe used her powers next to the blonde. The way dirty white had transformed intopale gold next to her; the vanilla-scented trace of it transforming into somethingdifferent, headier, the longer they went on practicing magic.

Which, she admitted as Emma sighed at her back,the sound of glass against the surface of the table one she vaguely registeredas she crossed her free hand over her stomach, fingers grazing the fabric ofthe dress she wore, magic classes hadn’t been all that strange for them bothever since she had come back. They had become a refuge from her duties as aQueen, from the constant scrutiny and vigilance. She had never asked outrightwhat Emma reason was but she still could feel it, pumping through the blonde’ssystem, fueling her spells.

And she could feel it once more now as she finishedthe remaining gulps of her drink: coming from the blonde’s body like cracklingenergy; tendrils and wisps of power that got tangled on hers. She refused to lookdown when she felt the telling signs of magic beginning to make an appearance,the red-colored glow strong enough for her to dig her fingers into her side,nails biting into her skin.

“Then why?”

Emma’s question was full of a careful nonchalance.Not exactly uncaring but cold enough for Regina to know the younger woman wastrying to feign an assuredness on their current predicament the question onitself destroyed. Pursing her lips together, Regina didn’t move when she feltEmma’s warmth getting closer, steps faint against the carpet, faux leather protestingas the woman rose her arms, the creaking sound the only thing that let Reginatime to prepare herself when she felt the tips of two fingers reaching for herback.

This hadn’t changed; touch wasn’t and had neverbeen part of their interaction. Not like Snow was with everyone around her.Their touches were just as careful as everything else; a delicate balanceRegina had found herself hating on. Which was precisely what made her shiver asEmma retreated her fingers, the point in where she had grazed her hot andholding a residual tingle that made the brunette feel drunk. Or, she thoughtwhile she glanced down at the now empty glass, stupid enough to maybe ask forit once more.

Her fingers were laced with red, burgundy andvermillion banishing lilac and mauve; electric currents mapping the veins ofher wrist before she was able to look away with a glimpse of gold making her gasp.

She knew, she berated herself as she felt Emma’ssilent presence as a second heartbeat: hers rushing through her neck. She knewthe color of magic after all, the theory behind the signature, the one she hadbeen so happy to not be like mother’s the first time she had performed somethingbig enough for it to show between her fingers. She knew what the paired colorsmeant, the fact that the red filled her vision solely when she was next to the otherwoman, heat, and darkness rendering everything else less important as she sunkinto the welcoming touch of gold. She knew.

How, however, was a thing that made her pause,afraid, unsure. Not because of the meaning on itself but of what it couldpotentially create, when there were too many gaps for her to fill. Didn’t shedeserve it, though? Licking her lips, she considered on turning, facing Emma’seyes as she spoke again, selfishness grasping her lungs as she breathed intothe ozone-like smell power left behind. She felt ravenous in a way that madeher head sway, skin tingling as she shaped the next sentence between her teethand tongue, vowels pushing through, air making vocal cords vibrate even beforeshe began to speak.

“Touch me again.”

It wasn’t an answer for Emma’s question andthere was an instant in where Regina feared the blonde would refuse. Glancingup, she wished for a reflective surface to spy the other woman’s face, the wayher eyes would probably be narrowed, sharp on their assessment of Regina’scommand. Ultimately, however, she felt fingers touching her spine, between hershoulder blades, delicately enough to make her close her eyes, lost in thoughtas she felt gold rushing through her, turning into red, deep, rich red thatmade everything else pale and grey. Back arching, lips parting, she could feeleach drop of red as blood, extending from the point where Emma kept on touchingher with child-like fascination.

“Regina.”

She heard the plea on Emma’s words, the way thewoman’s voice was strained, and Regina felt her muscles sag as electricityjumped and sparkled behind her eyelids, sharp enough to cut through her skin,embedding themselves into her bloodstream, blossoming deep inside of her.

“Look at me.”

Emma’s command held the same carefulness of before,but it was less brittle, and Regina found herself shaking her head.

“I don’t want to.” She could feel her lipsmoving but it was a faraway feeling, the kind of one she could disconnectherself from if she tried hard enough if she focused enough not only in the vermillionbut in the gold as well, in the aura,the two of them brought to her.

“Please.”

She turned, she felt her legs moving, herbreathing changing when Emma finally grasped her forearms, careful, slow. Yet,she didn’t open her eyes, not really wanting to, not ready for it.

“You know what it means.”

It didn’t come as a protest but acceptance andRegina felt her lips curve in a smile. A minute one, the kind of one that wouldnot be an answer to anyone else but the blonde in front of her. The one thatfelt closer and closer with each passing second.

“You do too.” Tilting her head, Regina finallylet her eyelids raise, the change of lighting quick as haloed by sparks no oneelse would be able to see, Emma mirrored her movements.

“I do?”

“Yes.”

Red surged forward, swallowing Regina whole. Redlike blood, like life.

Like love.

#swan queen #SwanQueen #prompt #emmasternerradley

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mageicalwishes · 4 years

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Ten Books I Want to Read in 2020

I was tagged by @captain-aralias :) So, in no particular order here are some books I want to read in 2020. Also, I really like reading, so I rambled A LOT. Sorry.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller - I’ve seen so many really beautiful quotes from this book on Tumblr, and I bought a copy it a few months ago. However, I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet. It sounds like an incredibly moving story though, so I’m definitely looking forward to reading it soon :)

Attachments by Rainbow Rowell - This has been sat in my TBR stack for at least 2 years now. Oops. I know literally nothing about this book, excpet that maybe someone gets engaged at some point? Idk. But, generally I really enjoy Rainbow’s more casual, laid-back style of writing (it makes her books incredibly easy to digest), so I’m excited to read some time soon.

The Outsiders by S.E Hinton - One of my all time favourite books! I re-read this like 3 times a year, and I doubt 2020 will be any different. I studied this book in Year 8 and the story just captivated me. The book follows a group of “Greasers” (basically low-income working-class kids), and documents their struggle as societal outsiders. Their are some really well-written, lovable characters in the book (Namely Johnny and Sodapop). And, overall, it just has a really amazing, interesting plot. It highlights the class differences of the 1960s really well, and I particularly love the sort of “found family” element of the gang. Also, it’s only around 200 pages long, so it’s a fairly quick read. Anyway ... If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it :)

The Fever King by Victoria Lee - I found out about this book on Twitter last week, and the plot outline on GoodReads really interested me. Here’s a little snippet - “The son of undocumented immigrants, Noam has spent his life fighting for the rights of refugees fleeing magical outbreaks—refugees Carolinia routinely deports with vicious efficiency. Sensing a way to make change, Noam accepts the minister’s offer to teach him the science behind his magic, secretly planning to use it against the government. But then he meets the minister’s son—cruel, dangerous, and achingly beautiful—and the way forward becomes less clear. Caught between his purpose and his heart, Noam must decide who he can trust and how far he’s willing to go in pursuit of the greater good.” So, yeah. It sounds like a classic enemies-to-lover romance story (Which is, unarguably, one the greatest literary tropes IMO ;)), with elements of political intrigue (Sort of similar to RWARB and Captive Prince which I love). So, hopefully I can get my hands on a copy of this soon.

Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray - I watched the ITV adaptation of this when it was on telly (Like 2 years ago now?), and feel in love with the wit of the main character - Becky Sharpe. Since then, I’ve wanted to read the book. But, I’m pretty sure it’s massive (we’re talking like 2000 pages). And, being a more classic book, I’m a little concerned I might find the language used a little abstruse. However, I really want to challenge myself to try and finally read it this year.

Birthday by Meredith Russo - I saw this book on Instagram and really, really loved it’s cover/page design, and instantly really wanted to buy it (I’m an absolute sucker for a pretty book). But, looking into it more, I really like the idea of a love story told in snapshots taken over several years. It’s also multiple POV, which I love. Hopefully, I’ll get a hold of a copy soon. Just FYI - Based on my little GoodReads search, it does look like this book covers some pretty heavy topics, and has some potentially triggering content (I, myself, am not particularly sensitive to those things - But others may be, so I just wanted to throw that in here).

Heartstopper by Alice Oseman - I saw these comics on Tumblr and fell in love with them - They’re painfully adorable. However, I much prefer having physical copies of books than trying to read things online ... So, I’m hoping to get the print books soon, so I can read the story in full at some point this year.

The Game of Kings (The Lymond Chronicles) by Dorothy Dunnet - From GoodReads - “ Dunnett introduces her irresistible hero Francis Crawford of Lymond, a scapegrace nobleman of elastic morals and dangerous talents whose tongue is as sharp as his rapier. In 1547 Lymond is returning to his native Scotland, which is threatened by an English invasion. Accused of treason, Lymond leads a band of outlaws in a desperate race to redeem his reputation and save his land.” I really enjoyed elements of the SOIAF (GOT) books, and apparently this series is similar in many ways, so it sounds like my sort of thing. I also, just love books with a bit of political intrigue, so the synopsis of this book really interested me. I already have a copy of the first book, I just need to get around to actually reading it. :’)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K Rowling - I have a confession ... I’ve never actually read this. My parents bought me a Harry Potter book box set for my 6th birthday, so I’ve read all the other books in the series, but the Deathly Hallows hadn’t actually been published yet. And, for some reason, I never went out and bought it. But, I think 2020 is the year I finally finish reading the Harry Potter books (I’m only like ... A decade late).

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz - I read this a few years ago, but I have pretty much zero memory of it - So I think it’s probably about time for a re-read. I know a lot of people adore this book, and I remember thinking the romance plot was incredibly sweet, but that’s about it. I have no idea what actually happens in this book anymore :,) So hopefully, I’ll find the time to read it again this year.

I legitimately suck at tagging people, because I know like literally nobody here, and I’m too awkward to tag like strangers lol (Fun social anxiety thingssss). But, I thought it would still be fun to take part. Sooooo ... I tag anybody reading this who wants to join in! That’s a little bit of a cop-out but ... Shhhhhhh.

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