I am the kind of person that firmly believes that in most cases, people should actually look at/ experience a media product before giving in depth opinionated criticism; that way they can actually have their own perspective instead being an echo chamber. Iām specifically talking about things such as a book, movie, television show, video game; things like that.
Itās this mindset that has lead me too look at many things when I couldāve just listened to a friendās review. Anyways, I beat Forspokenā¦.
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Happy Wednesday! Iām on spring break and blissfully alone at a cafe writing for a few hours this morning. The weather is just starting to turn nice (though its supposed to rain tomorrow) but I can feel spring coming properly, which makes me happy. I hope yāall are getting some nicer weather soon, too.
Iām plugging away on my new WIP. I previously mentioned Iām tentatively titling it Back and Back and Back. I also quite like Start at the End, though Iām not sure if that description will end up strictly accurate, so might not work. We shall see.
Iām going to go ahead and share the premise now (or rather, the inspiration) because why not? I was reading through @carryonprompts and found this one and quite liked the idea. I started daydreaming about it in earnest right away. This was the first thing I wrote:
Past
BAZ age 6, 2003
When I get home from school, Vera always makes me a snack. After that, Iām supposed to do my homework before Iām allowed to go outside and play. Thereās always pages and pages of it, and itās horrid, because itās so easy, it makes me want to rip it to pieces, or hide it under my bed. And if I have to read one more book about Dick and Jane, I think I might scream. (Iāve read every one of the books in my Beatrix Potter collections. Doesnāt my teacher know that if I can read words like presently, I shouldnāt need to read these baby primers?)
Even though I could do this stuff in my sleep, itās going to have to wait because today he is here.
Or at least, I think he is. I only saw a flash of red out beyond the trees, but thatās as good a sign as any. I donāt want to make him wait, because I donāt know how long heāll have to visit today, so I have to plan my escape quite quickly.
I donāt imagine this holding too closely to the book/movie. Iām taking inspiration from parts I liked (and can remember 15 years later lol) but shaping this to be a Watford-era, canon divergent fic with some time traveling/soul mate/destiny elements. It feels very ambitious for me to try writing time travel because it hurts my brain to even consume time travel media sometimes š¤£ and I am much more of a pantser than a planner when I write. Then again, the prospect of pulling off this sort of challenge intrigues me. Wish me luck!
Tags/hello/hope you are well š
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what do you think mulder thinks of diana fowley after biogenesis through amor fati? i don't think we really see anything on screen/in text (though i think it says a lot that he didn't have much of a reaction when scully came to his apartment & instead focuses on scully & their relationship lol)
yeah thereās basically NOTHING in the text but tbh i think finding out for certain that she was working with CSM really kindaaaa snapped him out of some thingsā¦mulder doesnāt give a fuck what people do to him, obviously, but itās a different thing entirely to find out that your ex is involved in something like that. like there are MILES from āmy partner makes me feel like shit and is maybe pretty abusiveā and āmy partner is like 3rd on the call list of a eugenics group that treats women like test subjectsā
like, scully was right, diana was monitoring MUFON women and collecting data on them. she was heading up the tests on cassandra. she probably knew the truth about samantha the whole time. just nasty nasty shit.
sheās the villain in the amor fati dream: the dismissive symbol of abandonment that offers another path.
one of the most interesting scenes of dianaās character to me, is in the sixth extinction, when she comes to see mulder in the hospital. and she knows what the effects of the artifact are, that he can hear what sheās thinking. that, therefore, he knows who she works for and what sheās doing. (imagine your ex-husband/wannabe boyfriend/obsession finds out youāre lying to him because he can read your mindā¦.shit is crazy!)
and she tells him that she knows he knows. but that he also knows that she loves him.
and she does love him. thereās no reason to lie about that then, she knows he would be able to tell.
scully knows it without hearing it, thatās how she gets diana to save mulderās life, ultimately. she comes to her and begs. tells her to please just think of him, who he is, who he was when she met him, who he is now. in the end, because of scully weaponizing how diana feels, diana canāt go through with it. she gives her life to help him.
diana seems to be one of those influences on mulder thatās only really all that significant when sheās close by. itās like how all the tension in the beginning builds up to him getting in her car when she tells him to, leaving scully, when diana is there instructing him.
i think being able to know who she truly was and her true intentions and allegiances, prior to her death, really goes a long way in the way he responds to losing her.
donāt get me wrong, i think heās upset. you can kind of see the shock cross his face when scully tells him. but he stays focused on his goal, which is to express to scully how important she is to him, in the wake of how discarded diana always made her feel.
mulder loved diana and grieves that she was killed, he doesnāt have it in him not to, but mostly heā¦wanted something from her, right? he wanted that approval and āaffectionā and to please her. he wanted her to believe him. the first thing that she says to disarm him (in the end) when she can tell heās uneasy, is, āhey. iām on your side.ā
learning who she really is, itās easier not to crave her approval so badly.
(this is the crux of amor fatiās ālast temptation.ā itās diana saying: youāre childish. you are going to fail. your path is not your own. āyou have to let go, fox.ā and itās scully countering: we need you. this is who you are.)
(itās why he responds in the end by telling scully that itās her thatās the voice of truth.)
and then in death, dianaās notā¦there for him to want anything from!! so itās like, again, yeah he obviously feels the loss, this was someone who meant a lot to him for over a decade. but also itās likeeeeee freeing in a way? it makes things simpler in a way? (heās able to communicate all of that to scully instantly after hearing diana is gone, after over a year of the tension hanging around it)
if you asked him about diana now, or even a year later, i think heād be likeā¦damn thatās crazy! šš mulder doesnāt have an awful lot of object permanence you guys sjdjsjfj
when scully comes to tell mulder that diana was killed, and he says to her, āyou were my friend, and you told me the truth,ā the language matters so much. thatās what scully called diana, āi know she was your friend,ā and he turns it back onto her. you were my friend. you told me the truth.
in my opinion, itās not that he doesnāt love and grieve diana, but that thereās a freedom in knowing the truth. knowing who someone is, and their intentions. knowing who has your best interest at heart. knowing where you stand in the world, what you want to do.
thatās really what allows for the openness and lightness of s7, in the wake of dianaās absence. mulderās always seeking, always learning.
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i love LOVE how we can pick the classes and how the scene just cut to Id and they just get jumped by MC. my mc is a healer and choosing the battlefrenzy zealot is such a funny option because i imagine my mc being unhinged after L's death
sksksksk I am so happy you like that and lmfao the combo of the frenzied zealot and a healer is tickling me so silly. Y'all have the best mc's š
even if your hunter may be unhinged now (v understandable) I can only imagine that they were a very special breed of healer when they were still working (and training to tame the frenzy!!)
ššššš Thanks for the ask š©·
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im choosing ignorance for right now but will cover it at the end of this (this being a whole essay š)
So, it looks like Baylan has a green kyber crystal in his belt. This post and others have pointed it out
Obviously, this begs the question of whom did it belong to? Immediately the thought would be Baylanās. He was a padawan of the Jedi Order, trained into knighthood, and eventually a general during the Clone Wars. He created his own lightsaber hilt and (maybe, idrk exactly how it works forgive me) chose his own crystal. And, even if he didnāt, it was still a part of who he was for that portion of his early life.
We learned last episode he misses the idea of the Order. With Baylan, thereās a heavy amount of sentimentality associated with the Jedi, especially if we believe (which I do wholeheartedly) that he lost a padawan.
But thatās what begs the other questionāis the crystal from his padawan? Did he take it from his padawans lightsaber and keep it for himself to carry on the memory of that kid (who i like to think was a female but thatās the girldad lover in me speaking)? Was it motivated by grief? Has he allowed himself to grieve at all, and if not, was taking the crystal his way of avoiding that emotion?
Or was it motivated by grief? There is no emotion, only peace. Is that when he ditched the code? How could he have any sort of peace after losing his padawan? Or, did he find that peace in keeping the crystal?
But then thereās my other questionāwhatās the significance of it? Dave Filoni, from what Iāve seen, is intentional. I donāt think adding what looks like a green kyber crystal in Baylanās belt is just some sort of happenstance that didnāt have any thought behind it.
And, with Baylanās character, itās way too significant. When it comes to how he feels about the Jedi, how he seems to actually feel a little bad about having to kill Ahsoka in episode 2. His relationship with Shin. The padawan braid. It all screams significance to me.
So, when it comes to significance, what role is it going to play by the end of the show? I really cannot see it being included and making Baylanās character so nuanced and intriguing and then not doing anything with it.
Mundi and I were talking about this earlier today. I mentioned these main two points, but also this-
And then Mundi had to drive the stake further through my heart and twist it around by basically saying what if Baylanās dying act was giving Shin his crystal (still thinking about this mundi THANKS)
I said a stretch at first, but it doesnāt seem too far-fetched anymore (except for her becoming fully good). Now, I donāt want Baylan to die. Heās the last character I want to die and I love him, BUTā¦
How he dies? I have no idea. Thrawn, Morgan, Enoch? Ahsoka, Sabine, Ezra? Betrayed by Shin? (very doubtful i feel) I think thereās a lot of options of how it could happen, if the cards are played right.
So if we think thatās the case, Shin is around when he dies or mortally wounded. Maybe she sees it happen to him like how he saw it happen to his last padawan. Shin is distraught, the most emotion we see from her because, well, itās Baylan whoās trained her and borderline raised her, and they have a moment together before he passes. Baylan makes her take the crystal (which would hit a lot harder if it is his original one and did not belong to his padawan) and they have some sappy goodbye thatāll have me crying for six weeks.
Weāve also all talked about how Shin and subtext from some of her lines that indicates some sort ofā¦ longing or curiosity regarding the Jedi. If, within the last two episodes, those are confirmed or itās revealed that Baylan could sense that feeling in Shin, i think (assuming he does die in this way) giving her his crystal makes sense.
Maybe she keeps it as sentimental in her own belt as I donāt see her turning fully to the Light in the show. But, if thereās another season, who knows.
Going back four paragraphs, I believe if it were Thrawn or Morgan who killed him or orchestrated his death, Shin would not follow them back. Sheād go with Ahsoka and the Gang TM home in the purrgil mouths. She clearly hates Peridea and, if Ahsoka and the crew are there to witness Baylanās death (for whatever reason), they could have sympathy on Shin maybe and help her home.
OK. I hope that covered those thoughts in a somewhat coherent fashion. Hereās where that chosen ignorance comes in.
Shinās braid. An anon actually sent a link to a tweet with both this AND the Baylan one in one post, so thank you nonnie for that!
Anyway. Shinās braid. Three (four?) green kyber crystals.
Why.
Did they, for some reason, come from Baylan? Did he just have a cluster of them and he gave her a few to include in her braid?
If the braid was her idea, did she want them included in it? Did they still come from Baylan if thatās true? Did she want to feel that connected to the Jedi from the start of her apprenticeship with Baylan to include them in her braid?
If the braid was Baylanās idea, did he include them? Weave them through the strands? Did he talk to her about including them? Including crystals in a padawan braid wasnt traditional, to my knowledge (not that they are traditional jedi). Was it some sort of selfish choice? Was the ghost of his padawan still lingering in the middle of these two that he felt he had to?
WHAT DOES IT MEAN. WHY ARE THEY THERE. WHAT IS THE SIGNIFICANCE.
I NEED THEIR WHOLE STORY RIGHT NOW
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Bobbyās in the hospital for some minor procedure and the boys kind of assume that heād want to be left alone and given time to recover. They know he hates nothing more than to be seen as weak.
In reality, Bobby is terrified as fuck, even though itās a super simple and pretty noninvasive surgery, and he wants nothing more than to have his boys by his side. And thatās what expects to have, thatās the only reason heās able to temporarily swallow his fear. And so heās waiting for them to stop by before the procedure, but they never came. Oh well, theyāre probably going to visit him afterward then! Nope.
And very quickly he starts to spiral like heās extremely worried he misinterpreted this whole relationship between him and the boys. Like he thought they were actually really close friends, but maybe theyāre just teammates who happen to spend a lot of time together because of their sport. Maybe they only invite him out when they have free time because of how awkward it would be if they didnāt and he ran into them. Maybe they find him super annoying and insufferable but only put up with him because heās a good coxswain.
Obviously being drugged up from surgery isnāt helping, but theyāre only amplifying insecurities heās already got in the back of his head.
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