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#i know doc is probably a cat person but

empydoc · 1 month

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coping makes u do weird shit im thinking about hush with a dog bro

hush “i found a creature.”

doc “what? oh-“

hush “puppy.”

#sobs and cries #im a dog person #i know doc is probably a cat person but #dog.#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted hush #redacted doc #📼.txt #📀.fav

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argumentativeaxolotl · 9 months

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Random Human AU Cars headcanons that probably don’t make any sense before I go to bed bc I can.

Lightning McQueen:

- Has accidentally called Doc “dad” before

- Has accidentally called Strip “dad” as well

- Bro can literally not stop moving- like he will not sit still and he tries so hard

- He has the shortest attention span ever if it doesn’t have to do with his friends or racing

- He actually really enjoys American Football and plays a modified version with Mater sometimes

- He was an orphan growing up

- Bro would 100% go apeshit feral if he lost a game of Uno

- Loves carnivals

- Dog person

- Forgets he’s rich sometimes and he can make his own decisions about money

- His love language is hugs and gifts

- He bought the Hot Wheels of his car and continues to buy every variation

Chick Hicks:

- Bit other kids as a child

- Filled water guns with lemonade and shot at people’s eyes

- Daddy issues(actually this is canon isn’t it?)

- Cat person

- Frighteningly good at card games like Casino “house always wins” levels of good. Like bro will somehow know what your cards are without even looking at them

- He put rocks in snowballs

- Alcoholic

- Loves anything horror, gorey, and True Crime

- He’s notoriously bad at getting people gifts, like seriously bro is not allowed to buy anything for anyone for Christmas or their birthdays that’s how bad it is(someone usually gets it for him)

- He probably has a huge gambling problem

- His love language is giving gifts

- He gives gifts as a form of apology because he’s shit at words

- Literally the best mustache in all of cars- like he keeps that thing at top condition 101% of the time

- He never actually finished school because his dad forced him into racing as soon as he could

- Probably had rabies at one point and somehow survived

- If you somehow manage to become a good friend of his, he’ll actually be super chill w/ you

- Rich as FUCK

Strip Weathers:

- Legally adopted Cal after his parents passed away(or sumn idk)

- Has several scars on his arm from the crash during the tie-breaker race

- He, Tex, Lynda, and Cal were practically inseparable after the crash

- He and Tex are literally the bestest of buds like they are homies to the MAX

- He doesn’t hold any ill-will against Chick even if he should and is allowed to

- The “Boy Scout” of racing(think Superman or Captain America)

- He listens to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X while working with his horses. Cal cringes every time.

- He never swears unless he’s serious about something or is extremely upset or concerned

- He almost fainted when he met Doc for the first time, almost immediately asking for an autograph

- He has a ranch full of horses and enjoys horse racing as well as car racing

- Received an apology gift of both cologne and a miniature trophy from Chick

- He let Chick sign his cast after the crash

- He’s tried to teach Lightning and Bobby how to ride horses with Cal’s help. It did not go well

- He wanted to be a doctor for a little while before switching career paths

- Racing is literally in his blood(he comes from a very VERY long line of racers)

- Weirdly good at writing. Like for no reason.

- He heavily fanboyed over Doc when he was younger

Doc Hudson:

- He loves Lightning as his son

- He thinks of Sally as a surrogate daughter

- Unironically says “back in my day” whenever he’s telling a story

- He owns a shotgun and it’s hidden away in his house, far away from Lightning(who keeps trying to find it with no luck)

- He knows the most shit out of everyone and all their backstories. Bro hears the gossip and goes “nice”

- He loves watching fruit dissection videos on YouTube for some reason

- Bro is great at knitting. Like seriously. Give him ten seconds and you’ll have a whole ass sweater with a theme and everything

- He is an alcoholic(especially after his crash)

- Never got married or had children… until Lightning and Sally lmaooo

- He nearly started crying tears of joy when Lightning called him dad the first time

- He has several large burns and scars on his legs and lower back from the crash(like shit is really bad dude)

- His favorite movie is the original ghost busters

- He is a cat person

- He is a neat freak at heart yet gave up trying to clean out his garage because of all the bad memories

#cars 2006 #human lightning mcqueen #humanized cars #chick hicks #headcanon #lightning mcqueen headcanon #chick hicks headcanon #humanized chick hicks #doc hudson #strip weathers #humanized strip weathers #humanized doc Hudson #headcanons #humanization #I’m really tired lmao #it’s like 1 am #i’m very tired #lmaooo

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xysidhequeen · 7 months

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I wonder about Jason’s reaction with the good ghost dog, Cujo?

I love these questions so much, they make me think and flesh out this AU.

So. Jason met Cujo in probably one of the least ideal ways humanly(ghostly?) possible.

Cujo had wandered into the castle, as he does because he is a free spirit. He had followed the exciting new scent and found Jason's room. He then proceeded to chew on and eat all of Jason's shoes.

You'd think this would be while he was in puppy form. Nope. He was in his huge Hulk-Rottweiler-Hellhound form. So. He's just there, happily munching on Jason's shoes, remains of other pairs scattered about him like rubbery, leather confetti when Jason walks in. Sees this absolute UNIT of a monster dog wagging his tail and scarfing down the Doc Martens Sam has bought him last week.

Jason was sorta settled into the GZ at this point and just sighed, turned around and yelled out. "Danny your damn mutt is eating all my shoes!"

And Danny, who knew Jason hadn't met Cujo yet was like "How'd you know he's my dog?! You can't blame everything on me!"

And Jason stares him dead in the eyes, steps to the side so Cujo can see Danny and Danny just gets absolutely bodied by the goodest boy.

"You get to tell Sam your dog ate my shoes, fucker."

Jason wasn't that upset. He's not overly attached to things like clothes. They tend to get damaged often during spars and fights and workshop accidents anyways. Sam was far more upset. ("Those were limited edition Danny!")

Jason does love Cujo. He's very much a dog person. He doesn't really like cats. He swears they're all actually demons(and he's met demons. He uses this as proof). But cats adore Jason so much. He's a portable heater, so they climb all over him if given a chance. But he prefers dogs, and so he adores Cujo. Sometimes, he'll even take Cujo for walkies to the Underworld to play with his best friend Cerberus, and Jason will trade baking recipes with Persephone. Cujo likes Jason too, as he'll play fight with him, and he's harder to accidentally yeet like Danny.

Danny gets really flustered and tongue tied anytime he sees Jason and Cujo playing. A picture of Jason asleep on a couch with puppy Cujo laying on his chest is his current lockscreen.

#zee answers #dp x dc #danny phantom #dc x dp #dpxdc #dp x dc crossover #the king and his red knight #the king and his red knight au #tkahrk #tkahrk au #jason todd #jason todd/danny phantom #jason todd/danny fenton #jason todd x danny fenton #i also love the mental image of this tank man walking his tank dog around its so precious.#also you know how hell and their princes give Danny trouble sometimes? Jason has had Cujo use one of them as a chew toy before #its was very cathartic for him because that prince kept hitting on Danny.#he just went “Cujo get the toy” and pointed at him #lol Jason is basically Danny's HR. Him and Cujo anyways

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tinkerbelle05 · 8 months

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Could you do 1610 miles x masc reader going on a date to the aquarium :3

Let's Take a Break

Characters: 1610!Miles Morales x Black!Masc!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: (Requested) Thanks for the reqs love 💙

Warnings: none:)

Again so sorry, that this was late. But also, I never been to an aquarium before, like ever. This was cute nonetheless.

You wait outside the aquarium for Miles. It was still a tad bit annoying to always wait for him but he was out saving people from the "villain of the week" as he called it so you didn't complain too much. But feeling the sweat on your back made you wish he'd pick up the pace a bit more.

Suddenly the world goes black and you feel someone's hands covering your eyes. In a split second, your heart beats faster and your hand reaches up until you hear the familiar chuckle and smell the laundry detergent.

"Guess who?" The person asks.

"Um, I don't know who you are but you best get your hands off of my eyes, sir." you responded instead.

"Huh? Dude quit playing. You know who it is," Miles argues back playfully.

"Hey man, I got a loud scream and sharp nails so if you know what's good for you," you threatened him again.

You heard him sigh and take his hands off of your eyes, “Why are you like this?”

You bear a sharp grin, “You love me like this.”

Miles rolled his eyes and walks in pulling you into the building, “Yea, yea. Whateva.”

You both walked into the darkened building, water tanks filled with schools of colorful fish and of different sizes.

“They are beautiful,” you marveled at them. You walked up close to the glass. You’ve always cared for the ocean and anything in them. “Miles, look that’s a stingray. Did you know that a group of stingrays are called a fever or that they are in the same family of sharks?”

You look back to see him staring at you weirdly, “What's up with the staring?”

He had that lovesick look on his face with his hands stuffed in his pockets, “Nothin’”

Rolling your eyes, you walked to a different section, dragging Miles along the while talking about sea animals. You went to see the jellyfishes, penguins, and sea lions.

Overall, you had a good time with Miles. You ate some iffy food at a fast food spot though that’s probably gonna make you regret eating it in the morning.

You two were in a park now, with the sun setting and a cool breeze. You were so, so tired. But happy as well.

“You enjoyed your day, Miles?” You asked while his head was on your shoulder, it was a comfortable weight.

“Yea, you?” He replied, softly. He looks minutes away from falling asleep.

“Yea, I had a good time too.”

Tags: @butterfi, @justbeethings, @jam-skullz, @dreamxcollide, @shibble, @sleepdeprivationis4coolkids, @somber-starz, @maypersonne, @hoeboat101, @rosebunny, @midnight-the-shadow-wolf, @mur-docs, @eight-cats-in-a-box, @sawi-06, @707xn, @nagi3seastorm, @ghostsimp000, @cloudstrifefantatic, @vixqn, @yourtsahik, @spider-bren, @im-jisoo-im-okay, @andhdi68a, @itstooearly-its3am, @universallypeanutpizzapersona, @avatarl0v3r, @randomhoex, @nerdyparker616, @1uvvmi, @keawio, @centipider, @ellatienesuscosas, @gw3ndyswonderland, @jell0buss-37, @baddiebehaviourxx, @laylasbunbunny, @minimari415

Masterlist & Anonlist & Reqs Info & Taglist & 500 Followers Celebration!!

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yacinthemorning · 3 months

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A Lesson in Listening

Summary: Grian's brother is moving to town and staying with him while he house hunts. While introducing him to his friend, however, Jimmy and Tango seem to make quite a connection. Determined not to suffer through the pining, Grian and Impulse attempt to play matchmaker.

Ships: Grian & Impulse(Platonic), Jimmy/Tango (Romantic), ZITS (Platonic), Grian & Jimmy (Familial)

Warnings: mild acephobia, verbal fight, sibling bullying, misunderstandings, relationship meddling

If Grian was good at one thing, it was connecting people. Not to be a braggart, but he was a sociable sort who was good at reading people, made new friends with ease, and led the pecking order in his circles. It was his great talent, really. One of many.

“Humility not being among them, clearly.”

“Shush.” Grian hissed, whipping his head around to glare daggers into Impulse. The stout man returned it with his trademark innocent smile, as if Grian didn’t know what went on in the head behind it. “You’re distracting me.”

Impulse chuckled. “What’s there to distract from?”

“I’ll have you know mixing friend groups is a very delicate process!” Grian explained, holding his phone to show the opened notepad doc. “Inviting the wrong person could be the difference between success and disaster.”

“I think you’re overthinking things, G. Anyone who’d get along with you will probably get along with your brother.”

Therein lied the problem, though. Jimmy was nothing like Grian. Okay, well, nothing was a bit of a strong word. Jimmy was extroverted and sociable like Grian, and they both had a fondness for mischief and cats. And maybe Jimmy was the first person Grian always invited to karaoke night when he was in town, because no one else was quite as enthusiastic as they were. But other than that they were nothing alike! For one, unlike Grian, Jimmy was a massive loser.

“That’s a bit rude.”

Grian squawked. “Would you please stop reading my mind!”

“You should stop speaking your mind, then.” Impulse shrugged and returned to scrolling through his phone. Grian had assigned him the task of picking out the venue for the night out, being far more familiar with the town than Grian. He paused, “You might as well monologue, I know you want to.”

“I don’t monologue! I’m not Scar.” Another name was struck out on the list. Doc was angry at him right now, anyways. “I just want things to go well, can I not be excited that Tim is moving closer? I’ve barely got to see him more than once every other month for the past several years! By the way, we can’t-“

“Can’t eat red meat so make sure there’s other options, yeah, I know.” A large hand patted down on Grian’s head, ruffling his hair.

He pouted, falling back into the cushions of his couch. “I feel like you do not appreciate the skill needed to coordinate you people. It’s like herding cats, you know.”

“Why do you think we leave it to you?” Impulse leaned over Grian’s shoulder. “Who you got so far, anyways?”

“You, Scar, Gem, and Cleo. Mostly people he’s met before at least.”

A curious hum filled the air and Grian patiently waited for whatever idea was brewing in Impulse’s head. There were a few taps to his screen, then, “You think Tango can come?”

“Tango?” Grian’s eyebrow quirked up. “Isn’t he hauled up in his basement working on some game right now?” While most certainly a good friend, Tango was one Grian went almost just as long without seeing as his brother half a day’s drive away, despite being a street away. Once he had an idea he would dedicate himself to it until it was done.

Impulse sighed. “Yeah. Zed was able to get him outside for an hour last week, and he went on some business trip for a bit, but he also hasn’t eaten in like two days last I checked. It’d be good excuse to drag him out. He’s gonna forget what real people sound like outside his headphones if we don’t.”

“I honestly don’t know how he expects to survive if he moves out from you guys.”

“I already made him promise to give me a set of spare keys when he does.”

Grian tilted his head as he stared at his last message to the man in question. Something about a crazy idea for a remote-controlled cat toy he thought of. In all honesty it wasn’t the worst idea. Not the cat toy- Tango was a strong personality who left a big impression, but he was always polite. Certainly much more introverted than everyone else going, but not nearly as bad as Zed. At least, when he remembered to leave his basement. It couldn’t do them any harm. At the very worst he could sit in the corner and chatter with Impulse. “Yeah, sure, let’s invite him.” He said, already typing.

Impulse gave a thumbs up. “Tell him we’re gonna go to that barbeque place he loves, that’ll get him.”

“I said-”

“They have plenty of chicken and even vegetarian options, I double checked. It’s right across from the bowling alley, too. And call him, don’t text, or he’ll never see it.”

It was a small miracle Tango agreed to go. It was a small miracle he answered his phone at all. The mention of barbeque worked, though. How much of the rest of the evening they could convince him to stick around for had yet to be seen, but Grian was hopeful he’d stay a little while at least.

Impulse could deal with Tango, though. Right now, Grian had his hands full with Jimmy. They were running ten minutes behind because his poor little brother couldn’t bear going a day without a bubble bath. “C’mon, Tim, get in the car!” He shouted from the window.

Jimmy stumbled in, nearly dropping his phone between the seats in the process. “I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying, I just had to send a text. I thought this was supposed to be fun?” He whined. The second his door was closed Grian began driving, not waiting for him to get his seatbelt in. He was so tall and lanky he’d just smash his head through the glass whether he had one on or not, anyways.

“It’s called punctuality, Timmy. Something the hosts should have!”

“Alright, I get it.” He slumped back into his seat, caving as he always did. It must be hard, having an older brother who was always right. Of course, it was much harder being said brother, as Grian could attest.

The car ride was quiet, only the radio filling the space while Grian worked to remember where he needed to go. Jimmy was the first to break the silence, “So, I’ve scheduled some tours for this week.”

Grian hummed. “Anything promising?”

“Actually yeah.” He chirped, pulling out his phone. Before he could shove it in Grian’s face he put his hand up. It’d only been a month since he rear-ended a Toyota, and he’ll be damned if he hit someone else. The last thing his friends needed was to reignite the jokes about him being too short to see over the dashboard. Jimmy made a whine but didn’t try again. “There’s a place not far out of town in the farmlands. It’s small and old, but it’s an actual house with over half an acre.”

“I dunno why you care so much about land. A condo downtown is way better.”

“It’s nice, isn’t it? I could have a garden.”

“I guess.” The obnoxiously large sign for the barbeque glared high above the trees and buildings around it just up ahead. “Oh, we’re already here. Should be mostly people you met before, by the way.”

“That’s fine.”

Pulling into the parking lot, Grian could already see Impulse’s minivan and Cleo’s beat up old car. He clicked his tongue as he pulled up next to them. “See! I told you we were late, everyone’s already here.”

“Oh, come off it, they probably just got here, it’s fine.”

It was not fine, the host should always be first, but he wouldn’t expect Jimmy to understand. The two squabbled all the way inside, only stopping to tell the waiter their booking. A nice large table on the patio already had most of Grian’s friends sitting around, still having yet to be served even drinks. Everyone but Tango despite his phone, unmistakable with its Guy Fieri case, on the table. Bathroom, maybe? He was always terrible about going before he left. Scar was the first to spot them. “G! Timmy! You’re here!”

“That we are.” Grian mumbled and turned to Impulse. “Where’s-”

“Hey, Grian, just in time!” The scratchy voice of Tango shouted too-loudly behind them. He saw Jimmy jump, and both brothers swivelled on their heels. Tango jolted back a bit, friendly wave shrinking to his side at the reaction. His eyes grew wide, locking with Jimmy’s which mirrored him like two deer caught in headlights. “Oh!” He squeaked unintentionally.

It jogged Jimmy out of his fright enough to look away, though Grian took suspicious note of the redness of his ears. He gave his baby brother a raised eyebrow, but he didn’t seem to see it.

“Right, well, Tango, Cleo, this is my brother, Ti-”

“It’s Jimmy.” Jimmy jumped in at lightning speed, holding his hand out for Tango to shake with a wide smile. “The name’s Jimmy.” Tango hesitated for a second, before tentatively shaking back with an equally tentative smile.

“Tango, of the Tek variety. Nice to finally meet you.”

“I thought you said your brother was Tim?” Cleo asked.

Impulse scratched at his bread. “Honestly, I thought it was.”

��It’s not, my name’s Jimmy. Don’t trust anything this man says, he’s a menace.” Jimmy huffed, which got far too enthusiastic an agreement from nearly the whole table for Grian’s liking. Behind him, Tango snuck around back to the table. In a baffling move, as far as Grian was concerned, he paused at the empty chair across from his own and pulled it out. He nodded towards Jimmy, who muttered a sheepish thanks. Grian narrowed his eyes at the engineer, but he seemed to be pointedly not looking at him. A shared look from Impulse, though, let him know he wasn’t the only one who took notice.

“Well, then, Jimmy, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Cleo reached over the table, offering their hand.

Chatter very quickly picked itself up once they were all sat down. Most was directed towards Jimmy, asking what he did and the places he was looking at and how on earth did he get his hair that perfect. It was a bit awkward with him sitting at the end. Given the middle seat where Grian now sat was also empty, he suspected Tango’s little gentleman’s stunt had messed up the seating arrangement Impulse intentionally left.

It wasn’t the last. When their drinks came Tango had ordered some crazy bright red fruity slushy monstrosity like he was on vacation or something. For him it might as well be. Something that brightly coloured, with a fruit skewer at that, was basically tempting the gods as far as Jimmy was concerned, who looked more dazzled by it than the already bright blue drink he ordered. Only a sip had been taken before Tango was nudging it towards him, asking, “Wanna try?” Which he wholeheartedly accepted.

Honestly, between that and the conversation somehow always managing to close into a back and forth between the pair, Grian wanted to gag. Did his brother have absolutely no shame? Or maybe Grian was just bitter he had to order something lighter as their driver. It was at least funny to watch Scar also ask for a sip and be completely ignored.

A large platter was ordered over individual meals. It was just easier, when everyone wanted to try this and that. Astonishingly, it was probably the first time Grian had witnessed Tango eat a vegetable, when he tried one of the skewers the brothers ordered on the side. That was the power of good barbeque, he supposed.

They finally called it after Gem won the third round of bowling in a row. Grian tapped against the open door of his car, glaring holes in the back of his brother’s head, who was too busy saying goodbye to Tango to notice. “Come ooon Tim!” He finally shouted after the third obnoxious little giggle they shared. When he turned, Grian narrowed his eyes. You ain’t subtle. The pair finally said goodbye for real, and Jimmy ran to get in the car before Grian decided to drive off without him. He’d barely gotten his seatbelt on before he was furiously typing something on his phone. Really?

“So, how was it?” Grian asked.

“It was fun, your friends seem cool.” Was the distracted response.

“Mhm…” He leaned closer over his shoulder. “And how was Tango?”

If it was possible to jump out of one’s skin then Jimmy had jumped out of his skin, muscles, and bones. “Huh?” He squeaked, face red and eyes bugged. Grian only returned it with an unimpressed eye roll.

“Oh please. You nearly dropped a bowling ball on your foot while swooning.”

“Well… He’s a cool guy, isn’t he?”

And that shut Grian up. More efficiently than he would like to admit. He expected Jimmy to deny it, or be too flustered to say much of anything. When Grian failed to reply Jimmy went back to his phone, tapping away with a smile. There was that obnoxious giggle again.

This was not one of the issues Grian anticipated having when his brother told him he was moving.

“So, how do we set them up?”

Impulse Hummed, spending far too long reading the contents of a can of cream of mushroom like it wasn’t the same can he always bought. “Who?”

“ Who? ” Grian mocked back. “Tim and Tango!”

“Do we need to?” Three more cans joined the first, before they moved on to the broths. Grian threw the bouillon in the cart before his companion could grab a carton that would languish in the back of his fridge. “They seem to be doing fine on their own.”

“No, trust me. I know Tim. He was literally living with his last boyfriend before he realized they were dating and that he liked him. He’s an idiot.”

“And Tango hasn’t exactly been leaving the basement much lately.” Impulse conceded, grabbing a carton of pho broth anyways. Acceptable, Grian supposed.

“So, then, any ideas?”

They paused before entering the next aisle. The larger man’s face twisted in thought. “Well, we could invite him to D&D, run a oneshot, and have their characters drink a love potion until they get the hint.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea, absolutely not.” He wrote it down in his phone for a future session.

“Another dinner?”

“What are the odds of getting Tango out of the house twice?”

“Probably a lot higher than you’d think with how they were acting.”

“What if I gave Timmy a tour of your house and just locked the basement door behind him?”

“You know I’m starting to think we might be bad at this and should leave it to someone else.”

“Nonsense!” Grian grabbed the first bottle of soya sauce he spotted, much to Impulse’s protests. He wasn’t going to sit and wait for him to match the prices to the ounces. “Look, I know Timmy best, and you know Tango best. Logically, there’s no better pair of heads to crack together for this. They’ll thank us at the wedding.”

A jar of pickled bamboo shoots found its way into the cart beside the biggest bag of basmati rice Impulse could pick up. He had to catch his breath before he continued. “Listen, Grian, do you need to… talk, or something?”

“What?” Grian’s head whipped around from the wall of spices he was mulling over. “About what?”

Impulse hunched his shoulders up, cringing slightly. “I dunno, y’know… You’re planning your brother’s wedding to your friend while picking out my groceries for me. I’m not even sure how you found out I was grocery shopping or found me in the store. I don’t think that’s normal, healthy person behaviour.”

“I am so completely normal and healthy!” He said just a bit too loud.

“You know you can talk to me if you need to.”

This was getting nowhere real fast. “Are you going to help me or not?”

Impulse sighed. “I’ll help.”

“Good. Then, what’s the plan?”

In the end, the plan was little more than ‘wait and see’ with a side sprinkling of putting the pair in as much direct contact as possible. This turned out to be much more work than they anticipated, however. Jimmy had always been a socialite, but he seemed to be gone every other day viewing houses or visiting locations. Meanwhile, Tango did as he does and made himself busy constantly. Every group activity Grian planned was lucky to get even one of them, and he was about to lose his damn mind.

Their big break finally showed itself one evening, when Jimmy dropped in with Grian. Well, it was more like Grian promised to drive him to do some errands and made a left turn away from the mall and directly to the ZITS house instead. A decision Jimmy was not familiar enough with the town yet to notice until it was too late. Just the sound of Jimmy’s voice managed to draw Tango upstairs to see what was going on in his kitchen, where the rest of them were chatting.

Immediately the annoying little giggles started up again. If there was one thing in this world that could make Grian try to keep them apart, it was that giggle.

“By the way, Jimmy,” Skizz piped up from where he leaned against the sink. “You still need a lift tomorrow?”

When had Jimmy found time to befriend Skizz? Who knows. Knowing the two of them they probably bumped into each other on the street and kept talking till the sun went down. Extroverts were so exhausting. (He ignored the little Impulse-ish voice nagging that Grian was also something of an extrovert.)

“Yeah, sorry, I appreciate it.”

“Where you going?” Impulse asked.

“Got another house tour.” Tango of all people replied. Maybe that wasn’t all that surprising, though, given the amount Grian has spotted Jimmy texting the past few days.

“Is that so? Will you be going with them?” Grian teased, but instead got a toothy grin back.

“Yessiree!”

Really? Inviting your crush house hunting? Was that forward or just weird? Either way, it was an opportunity. “You know, Tim, you haven’t invited me to go with you.” He whined, putting on his best puppy dog eyes.

Unfortunately, while Jimmy’s talents were sparse, this was one area where he outranked Grian by a factor of magnitudes and had unlocked absolute immunity, or something. “Yeah. That was on purpose.” He said bluntly, not even looking away from Tango, who laughed. In fact, everyone laughed. Even Impulse, the traitor.

Grian wouldn’t give up so easily, however. “Well I think you should. So where is it?”

“What? You’ll just embarrass me, I’m not telling you!” He squeaked, finally looking at his kind, sweet, dear older brother.

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not!”

And that was how Jimmy ended up in a headlock on ZITS’s kitchen floor, Impulse reluctantly using Jimmy’s phone to text Grian the address on his calendar. Tango, simp that he was, managed to distract Grian by jokingly calling Jimmy honey, forcing Grian to let go in order to pretend to hurl, during which time Jimmy made his escape back to the car.

He won though, and the next day when Jimmy pulled up with Skizz and Tango to the house tour, Grian and Impulse were already waiting there with the realtor.

“I can’t believe you.” Jimmy dragged his hands down his face. “Don’t you have to, I don’t know, work?”

“Jokes on you, I’m my own boss.” Grian puffed up his chest.

Tango patted Jimmy on the back and turned the both of them towards the poor, confused realtor. “Let’s just get this over with.” He soothed, to which Jimmy gave him a saccharine smile.

The property was ridiculously nice. It wasn’t especially big, but it was lined by woodlands and already had a garden, albeit in need of some severe TLC. There was even an old chicken coop to the side of the house that only needed new fencing and cleaning. The house itself was a one-story cutesy cottage-like thing. It was older, but whomever had lived in it last had the wiring redone and appliances replaced. The bedroom was big, too, as they tended to be in these older houses, and the bathroom had a proper large tub. There was a spare office room with a nice big window to the garden. The garage was separate, and large enough to be a workshop. All that while being well within the range of good internet and still close enough one could walk to town if they really wanted to.

It was, essentially, Jimmy’s dream home. The only issue Jimmy seemed to have was the fact that the wall between the living room and kitchen had been knocked out for a more modern open concept design with the largest windows in the house.

“It’d probably be a pain to heat in winter, right?” He asked no one in particular.

Grian knew jack all about houses, and only shrugged. It still wasn’t that big, so he imagined not. Impulse and Skizz seemed to mull the idea over a little longer. Tango, though, saw an opportunity, and Grian had to give him credit because the man took it without hesitation. His arm was around Jimmy’s shoulder, toothy grin leaned in a bit too close. “Well, that sounds like a good excuse to cuddle up in bed all winter, hm?”

Jimmy’s cheeks turned pink. He muttered something under his breath that made Tango chuckle. Grian rolled his eyes towards Impulse, who seemed almost too shocked by his friend’s forwardness to notice.

More questions were asked, things Grian was glad he never had to worry about as a condo guy. Owning a home seemed like so much work, but Jimmy had lists upon lists. Of course, it was Jimmy, and even with lists he forgot certain things. But Tango seemed ready to pick up the slack with his own barrage of inquiries.

“I think,” Jimmy said, looking at the kitchen with a bit of awe. “I think this might be it, guys.”

“Yeah?” Tango’s eyes practically sparkled with excitement. Jimmy nodded.

The realtor stepped up. “There aren’t any other serious inquiries at the moment, I think you have a good chance if you put in the asking price.” Jimmy nodded, and the realtor went off to his car to make a call.

Grian pursed his lips at his brother, though. “Are you sure you can afford that? I know you’ve saved up and all, but it’s still a lot.”

Jimmy beamed though, clearly overwhelmed with excitement. “Of course, you think we would look at houses we can’t afford?”

“I mean if I’m honest kind of, but- wait. We?”

“I’ll have you know, despite the beliefs of certain individuals, my credit score’s top notch.” Tango patted his chest proudly. “And between the two of us we have more than enough savings for the down payment.”

Grian felt the wires in his brain short circuit and reboot. An unholy screech came from his throat. “What!”

Jimmy and Tango both side-eyed each other, their awkward smiles caught between guilty and like they were ready to burst out laughing. “You… Thought I could buy a home on my own?” Jimmy asked, hiccupping in the middle.

Impulse looked just as dumbfounded. “When did you work this out?” His voice came out hoarse.

It was Tango’s turn to be confused, raising an eyebrow. “Um, months ago? I told you, Impy.”

“You said you were thinking about moving out, not buying a house with a stranger!”

“Wait-” Skizz burst out laughing, pointing at Grian and Impulse. “You guys really didn’t know?”

“No, why do you know!”

“Cause I listen to my roommates?”

“Hold on. Months ago?” Grian pushed them out of the way, getting into his brother’s face.

It seemed Tango was no longer able to hold in his laughter, leaning on Jimmy for support while Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck. “I honestly couldn’t tell if you’d actually forgotten or if this was some bit.” He admitted.

“We’ve been together for almost three years.” Tango wheezed out between cackles.

“Excuse me?” Balked Grian. “Since when? You’ve never met!” His head whipped between the two. How on earth-

A finger twirled absently in the air as Jimmy tried to explain. “Do you remember your Halloween party? The one me and Joel attended, where Tango was dressed up as an imposter?”

“Yeah?” It was the biggest party he’d ever held, how could he forget? His brow creased. “But that doesn’t make any sense, I never got to introduce you two cause you both went… home… early.” Grian’s eyes went wide as the puzzle pieces clicked into place.

Tango leaned against Jimmy’s shoulder with a smirk. “There it is.”

“Oh. My god.”

“I told you he doesn’t ever listen to me.” Jimmy groaned.

“You two-”

“Yeah.”

Grian gasp cracked. “Jimmy you slut !”

“ Excuse me? ” Jimmy shouted back in equal amounts of disbelief and anger.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the realtor pause in the entryway, then slowly back out of view once more.

“You heard me!”

“What do you think we did!”

“Well you weren’t enjoying my party, that’s for sure!”

“Okay, okay, everybody calm down.” Skizz stepped in, pushing Grian towards Impulse, who seemed to hold Grian back on instinct more than anything as he was still lost in shock.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Impulse asked, giving his housemate a look of betrayal. It was returned with concern.

“I did? I swear I did.”

“Dipple Dop, he told us he was busy in call with his partner all the time. He extended his work trips several times.”

“That was Timmy?” He stumbled back, leaning on the counter. “I thought he meant, like, an MMO buddy.”

“Yeah, and you certainly never told me!” Grian huffed, which Jimmy returned.

“I did tell you, but you didn’t listen! Or did you just do that thing like with Scott where you thought I wasn’t aware I was dating the guy I lived with for two months just because I told you we hadn’t-”

“You know what?” Skizz clapped his hands together. “I think we all need to just take a deep breath, okay? Everybody just breathe. In,” He took a deep breath, of which his housemates joined in while the brothers continued to glare at each other. “And out.” They all let out a long sigh.

A brief silence fell over the group, only interrupted by a nervous knock at the door. The realtor stuck his head in, eyes darting between the group. “Um, Mister Solidarity, Mister Tek, could I speak to you now?”

“Yes, one second.” Jimmy said, voice tight. The pair left to talk outside.

Grian and Impulse went home after that, waiting for the other three to return. They said little, Grian fuming while Impulse stared at his lap like his dog just died. Zed popped in to say he was going out, at which point he was let in on the day’s events and gave them both odd looks. Had they really been the only ones who didn’t know?

By the time everyone else arrived back at the house they’d pulled themselves together somewhat. Not entirely, but enough to ask questions without shouting.

“So, you’re really leaving?” Impulse asked, voice almost watery. Tango’s posture softened with his smile, and pulled the larger man into a big hug.

“Oh, buddy, I told you I was gonna. I’m a big boy now!”

“Yeah, but… I dunno. We’ve lived together since college. I didn’t think this would actually happen…”

Skizz rubbed his back. “Hey, he ain’t movin’ cross country, he’s just down the road. We’ll see him all the time.”

“Yeah! I promise, Impy, I ain’t going nowhere.”

The three continued to talk among each other, comforting their friend, so Grian left them be. Instead, he turned his attention onto Jimmy, who still looked huffy, with his arms crossed and a glare squarely on Grian.

“I told you.”

“Well, maybe you should have told me better.” Grian turned his nose up as an almost automatic response. Jimmy threw his arms in the air and stomped off to the doorway, and immediately Grian felt the regret. He chased after his little brother. “Wait, Tim. I’m…” A warbled wheeze escaped his throat, straining to get the dreaded word out. “Ssso-…rry... That I didn’t listen.”

The shift was near-instant, disdain laxing into smugness. “There, was that so hard?”

“Immensely.”

“Oh, come off it, you big baby.”

“I just don’t get it.” Grian grabbed his hair. “How did I miss that you two were dating? Why didn’t Tango say something when we invited him to dinner?”

“Well, it probably started with the fact that you introduce me to everyone as Tim and his boyfriend’s name is Jimmy.” He sneered, eyebrow raised.

Well, he had him there. Not that he would ever admit that to his brother’s face. “I still can’t believe you ditched my party to hook up with my friend.”

“Oh my god, we didn’t hook up!” Jimmy threw his head back. “We just went to get Mcdonald’s and watch movies because Tango almost had a panic attack at the number of people you invited and couldn’t breathe.”

“In my defence, I didn’t expect that many people to actually show up.”

“Either way, stop projecting.”

“Wh- excuse me?”

“Tango’s the same as me. I can assure you nothing like that would ever happen.”

Grian pouted. Well, at least they were happy and close by. “Fine, I’ll forgive you if you can get Tango to come to roller derby night.”

“Uh, I don’t have anything I need to be forgiven for, and I’m not going to make Tango do something he doesn’t want to do.”

“But Tim, consider: Tango falling on his butt in the most hideous disco suit.”

That gave Jimmy pause, thinking for a solid moment before a smile stretched behind his hand. “Alright, fine.”

“Yes!” Grian pumped his fist into the air, nearly smacking Impulse in the face as the group joined them.

“What’s going on out here?”

“Nothing.” Both brothers replied, matching smiles immediately getting them suspicious looks. Jimmy pushed past them to grab Tango’s hand and drag him towards the basement. “C’mon, we have to finish planning.”

“Yessir.” Tango saluted with a chuckle.

As they retreated, Grian shouted after them. “Oh, Tango!”

“Yeah?” Bless his soul, he was too busy giving his partner a doofy look that was wiped away the second he turned to see Grian. He did his best to bore a hole through the man’s skull.

“You better watch your back. I know where you sleep.”

“Well, I’d hope so.” Grian didn’t like that grin. “Be weird if you didn’t know where your brother was.”

And that was how Grian began to plan the death of Tango Tek.

#jimmy solidarity #tangotek #grian #impulsesv #trafficshipping #solidaritek #team rancher #rancher duo #fanfiction #fanfic #hermitpires #traffic series #alternate universe #modern au #sharing a cupcake

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silverskye13 · 1 year

Text

"I think you're just being paranoid dude."

"Of course I'm paranoid. (I've been paranoid since we met)."

"Yeah yeah, I get that. I just mean that this time you're like, irrationally paranoid."

"I don't think so. (Isn't all paranoia by definition irrational)?"

Tango huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

Tango and Tanguish walked side-by-side through the shopping district, moving quickly, trying not to be seen. Tango had yet to explain to the rest of the server that he and his hels were on speaking terms - friendly speaking terms - and the chances of Tanguish getting attacked just because of proximity were relatively high. Besides, Tanguish didn't really know where he was going. (Neither did Tango, but being generally lost together was better than being generally lost alone, so they traveled together.)

"I feel like I'm allowed to be worried," Tanguish said defensively, sweeping his gaze around the empty shopping district again. Most of the hermits were currently in the TCG pyramid battling it out. Something about addictive card games. Tanguish had never been big into those. Stealing cards was a gamble that rarely paid off. "He's been gone for three days."

"Yeah, and like I said, Welsknight has been off the server for months," Tango shoved his hands in his pockets and walked a little faster, his blue flame flickering a little brighter as he went. "Helsknight is probably just making up for lost time."

"For three days?" Tanguish countered, sculk-fuzzed eyebrows raising. "That's excessive."

"They used to fight like cats and dogs, dude."

"Yeah but it was always like, you know, disappear for an hour, die, poof back, kinda deal. Not just..." Tanguish flailed his hands at the air, demonstrating the current situation. "For three days."

In the distance, a massive octopus build loomed, it's tentacles slowly furling and unfurling like it was feeling the air. Just past it, nestled alone against the beach, was either the world's smallest castle, or the world's most castle-shaped house. Welsknight's house. It was incredibly on brand. Tanguish wondered why Helsknight never bothered to build a house like it in hels. Then again, Helsknight had never been big on decoration and comforts... or really anything that wasn't strictly utilitarian.

"Maybe they've gotten really bad at killing each other?" Tango asked with a shrug. "They're kind of out of practice."

"Helsknight fights people every day," Tanguish shook his head. "He's plenty good at killing people."

"Have we talked about your ability to pick out good friends? Like seriously talked about it?"

"Hels is a good friend."

"He kills people on the reg. You just said so."

"Isn't Geminitay's nickname Gemini-slay? (Also ZombieCleo, just, as a person)?"

"Touché."

"Besides it's not the killing bit I'm worried about." Tanguish continued, brow wrinkled worriedly. "I'm worried 'making up lost time' might mean something really unpleasant. (Unpleasant being like, pinning someone to the wall and breaking all their bones one-by-one or something. I feel like I've heard him threaten to do that before). I'm not -- I'm not Hels' keeper or anything, but I feel like a good friend would stop him from doing something like that, right?"

Tanguish looked at Tango beseechingly, searching for reassurance. Instead, Tango looked back at him with something between a wince and a grimace. Yeah, he probably could've worded all that better.

"Hels isn't a bad person."

"Uh-huh. Yep. I totally believe you there big guy."

"He's not! He's just--"

"--the kind of person who would tie someone to the wall and break every bone in their body. Yep. Gotcha. Hey, seriously, we need to talk about your choice in friends."

"Gemini-slay."

"Hey hey hey now! She just puts decapitated heads in her head room. No one suffers from that. Well. Not physically anyway."

"She has a head room." Tanguish frowned. "(Also like, everything Doc has going on)."

"Yeah but Doc just threatens. He couldn't follow through with any of it to save his life."

"Hels just--! Wait, how are you-- Can you read my mind?"

"No. Your internal monologue is just really loud. Like, really loud."

Tanguish makes a mental note to start thinking quieter. (Tango smirks, and Tanguish makes a double mental note about it.)

They made it three quarters of the way around the beach, walking in step with each other, spaced just far enough apart that their tails don't accidentally brush each other as they walked (Ice and fire, even blue ice-colored fire, have never mixed well) when a scream broke the otherwise peaceful afternoon air. Tango and Tanguish exchanged a horrified look, and as one dash the rest of the way down the beach towards Welsknight's house. Tanguish outpaced Tango in a handful of strides. They're the same height, but Tanguish spends his time running through cramped streets, while Tango spends his building Decked Out II.

Tanguish was the first one to come bursting through Welsknight's door, and as such is the first to witness the... Almost incomprehensible oddness happening on the other side. Hels and Wels are both standing on opposite sides of a table shoved in Wels's cluttered living room. There was a pile of blankets on the couch - obvious remains of someone sleeping over for the last few nights. Unwashed dishes were piled in odd places, leftovers long cold and stale on a few of them. There were, oddly, several half-drunk glasses of water scattered around - a trademark of Helsknight's when he was too busy or distracted to remember he had drinks already poured. The table was tipped over, cards scattered like autumn leaves across the floor. Helsknight is leaning against the nearby wall, face buried in his hands as he lets out a long, wounded-animal groan. Welsknight simply smirks to himself and picks up the fallen cards.

"That's thirty-six to three," Welsknight hummed pleasantly, picking up the scattered cards with a practiced patience. "You know, we could go buy you another expansion. Build a better deck--"

"No! No! You're cheating I know you're cheating!" Helsknight snapped, roughly righting the table. His hands were white-knuckled around its edges, like he was trying not to throw it over again.

"You've got a good deck in theory," Welsknight continued. "You're relying to hard on one win-con though. These decks function best with rapid damage--"

"I am not building a burn deck I'm not--"

"I'm not telling you to build a burn deck--"

"Are you serious right now?" Tango shouted, making all of them jump. "You're playing cards?"

Wels and Hels exchanged a glance, and then blinked at the two intruders as though they just noticed they were there -- which they probably had.

"Well I wasn't wrong," Tanguish said quietly, after the pause had stretched uncomfortably long. "They were doing something weird."

#the barking writer #helsknight #welsknight #tango #tanguish #hels!tango #oh my wels has finally come back from the war

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katesprydes · 6 months

Text

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own, and tag as many people as there are questions

thank you @good-enemy for the tag <3

coke or pepsi: coke

disney or dreamworks: sorry but i prefer disney i could name maybe like two dreamworks movies off the top of my head

coffee or tea: tea because coffee tastes burnt

books or movies: books

windows or mac: windows

dc or marvel: unfortunately i am a marvel fan

x-box or playstation: i havent used either of these in years

dragon age or mass effect: what

night owl or early riser: night owl

cards or chess: cards

chocolate or vanilla: depends on the food but usually vanilla

vans or converse: docs

lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: ⁉️

fluff or angst: angst. hurt that blorbo you know you want to

beach or forest: beach

dogs or cats: dogs by default because im allergic to cats

clear skies or rain: clear skies but like the kind of clear skies when its sunny with no clouds in the sky but its chilly out

cooking or eating out: depends on the food

spicy food or mild food: mild food bc im a picky eater and also white

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: hanukkah

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: a little too cold

if you could have a superpower what would it be: telekinesis but that might just be because im a jean grey girlie

animation or live action: live action

paragon or renegade: ⁉️

baths or showers: baths but unfortunately showers are more convenient

team cap or team iron man: i hate both of them

fantasy or sci-fi: anyone who knows me knows i am the biggest fantasy lover out there

do you have three or four favorite quotes, if so what are they: idk i have a lot but i couldnt name them off the top of my head

youtube or netflix: youtube

harry potter or percy jackson: percy jackson obviously. he'd also kick harry potter's ass but thats a whole other conversation

when do you feel accomplished: when i succeed

star wars or star trek: ive seen bits of star wars so that one

paperback books or hardcover books: hardcover books because they have built in bookmarks and also theyre pretty

live in a world without literature or music: nice try but no

who was the last person to make you laugh: i dont know probably my dad

city or countryside: city i love the city i am a big city person (i dont live in a big city)

favorite chips: baked lays

pants or dresses: pants

libraries or museums: museums we have no good libraries here

character driven stories or plot driven stories: oh thats hard. probably plot but i do love a good character driven story

bookmarks or folding pages: bookmarks

dream job: music therapist

what gives you comfort: my dog. also music

what are you currently having brain rot levels of interest over: the once upon a broken heart series by stephanie garber and also maisie peters's music

what is your current favorite song: coming of age by maisie peters

(added question) how many books have you read this year?

tagging @henwilsons @napollya @thegoosewitch and whoever else is interested

#this took me so long #tag game #karolina.txt

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chasing-faith-and-fate · 3 months

Note

quick question: do you have a preference to how many ocs we submit to your cameo doc?? just curious if you prefer a limit of one per person or if you don't mind several being sent? :0 no worries either way!! 💛

this blog has me hooked so sorry for any spam btw ^^"

-CrookedAnchors

Nope! There’s no limit to the cameo cats, they probably won’t have as big roles as the three healers, characters will most likely be one offs.

(Grovefall is an exception cuz I know them)

#askjon #I don’t mind spam either #most people aren’t bad about it

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sol-consort · 3 months

Text

Repost of an ask I accidentally deleted.

Pov: You're a turian discovering this new sapient species broadcasting their whole location to the galaxy very loudly and decide to go down to investigate the humans.

Humans are like a rubber ball, which is what the first contact war proved. The harder you throw them, the harder they bounce back, and the next thing you know, all of your loyal turian population are sending creepy fanmail letters to the cute human news reporters.

The fact that we express joy by showing our teeth probably is something that never sat well with the turians ever, huh?

Also POV: you're the Councillors meeting the human team sent to you trying to convince you on why they should have an embassy right next door and please let them in the citidal please please please please please please-

We Don't bite .Often. We are silly little guys let us in come on. We have been STARVED for any galactic connections. Please we were this close to blowing each other up with nuclear weapons.

Ignore that last bit. Hahaha. Ha. So let us in! Friends! We are friends, let's be friends now. Tell us how you guys reproduce and what you eat. We have cats! We have chocolate, and we have produced more porn than a single human can consume in their lifetime! We have everything you need so let us join the partyyyy.

We've brought beer :) You don't have that, right? Let us in, and we will give you all the food we've made.

Humans annoying their way into getting an embassy so soon is very hilarious.

Because you know damn well that our politicians played the first contact war card and guilt tripped the council into letting us sit on the big kids' table after the turian bullied us to hell and back. We brought the waterworks and pretended they really hurt our feelings just to get the shiny human embassy office.

It didn't matter that they threw us in some random office next to the elcor and the embassies food court. You know damn well none of the humans stayed on the office and they're constantly annoying their neighbour embassies or the citidal tower instead.

Hell, we even stooped so low to accept being called the council's new favourite pet race just so we can get all the benefits and jumpstart our integration into the galaxy.

Constantly asking questions. Constantly touching things. Constantly asking to eat this and drink that without regards to if it will kill us or not.

That's how they found out humans had the most diverse genetics btw, before they could get any tests done on the humans with viable results, they found the said humans eating everything they come across and updating a google docs sheet of things they tried that haven't killed them yet.

The doc is shared between all the humans on the Citidal, and everyone adds their updates. Some even tried inedible stuff just to see, because what if space plastic is different than our plastic? Sure, they ended up in emergency care, but it was so worth it.

The humans are very impatient, and the other races quickly learned. They want something done, and they want to do it now, and they want to get the gratification immediately! They make the salarians look like monks despite their short life spans

In the span of a year, earth humans were sending in job applications to different colonies and planets, ones they haven't even visited yet.

By the span of 5 years, humans successfully spread through the galaxy and you always find one nearby. It's harder not to spot a human than it is to spot them.

How do you find out if the person wearing this armour is an asari or a human? Simple, just wait.

The human will announce it themselves by doing some dumb shit like twirling the loaded gun in their hand to do a really sick trick they saw on the human social media app, tiktok.

Udina was a little shit, yes, but you know that man was knocking on the councillors' doors every day at 3am. to show them his powerpoint presentation on why humans deserve a seat on the council.

Humans fit wherever you put them. They eat everything, they can handle most temperatures. they only need oxygen and some sleep, and they're good to go!

It's hard for the aliens to predict just what type of human any given one of us they meet could be.

There's just too many to keep track of. The most rude person and the nicest person a turian have met are both humans.

They want to see the stars, they want to take pictures, they want to stare at pretty sunsets on different planets and they want to speak to aliens, hug them and learn more about them

They're burning bright like a star, wanting so much all the time. It's intimidating to the other races how hungry humans are for information and connection that they come across as a bully. Their friendly nature gets misunderstood and their kind gestures gets questioned for ulterior motives.

Because humans love helping, it's in our genetic code as a tribal species. We love feeling useful for the tribe and fulfilling others needs. We love giving someone a sip of our drink, opening the door for someone else, picking up a stray empty can and throwing it in the trash.

Going on useful fetch missions just to see someone else smile, hearing a stranger vent because we have been there, smiling at people we make eye contact with, giving compliments and laughing at jokes we overheard from strangers.

We are social, be it online or offline. We love others, we love loving others and we want others to love us back. Each human is so different yet so similar, some of us will feel more at home with the aliens than with other humans while others might not even stomach leaving earth

We are also...kinda of feral in a way? We don't notice it because we're surrounded by humans.

But if you look closely, so many of our traits are animalistic and could be perceived as scary by an alien that had thousands of years to evolve past them. Our hardware is still relatively new, and an update won't come for a long time.

The hugging. the yelling, the dancing, playing tag. games of chase. We evolved from predetors, our eyes are trained to follow a single target precisely.

Rough playing with your friends, enjoying throwing objects and catching it like a ball, enjoying tearing through food with our teeth. Hell we look like predators, we act like ones too.

We're not like worker bees, like turians who always give their all to everything they do.

No, we preserve energy, then lunge at our target the second it's gaurd falls down. A persistent predator that wears you down rather than overpowering you like a krogan

Btw, Korgans evolved from prey because of where their eyes are placed. Only predetors have forward facing eyes to focus on a single thing, the wider one's vision is the more likely they used to be a prey animal.

Side note, but Krogans would probably taste kinda good bc of that, predators' meat evolves to be shrivled and bitter. While Krogans have a literal hump full of food nutrition! Turians would taste bad unless chicken in that case... CHICKEN.

So do you think Hanar and Drell find it adorable that we used to be aquatic?

Anyway so-

In a single decade, humanity successfully integrated fully into the galaxy and joined the Andromeda project to explore the new one. We're like the opposite of hanar. So many other races achieved less than half of what we did in ten times the amount of years

Because we need social contact, it's vital for our survival as much as the sun is. It's our drive for exploring and hoping for aliens, for some other race out there we could befriend and learn about.

New things give us such a rush of dopamine and we're constantly chasing it with stars in our eyes.

In a way, the aliens probably felt the most special after meeting the humans. To have a race so interested in you and learning about you and appreciating your culture. To have thousands if not millions of humans ready to dedicate their lives to documenting you just because you happened to be the prettiest race in their eyes.

Like I'd gladly throw my life away to study the Drell.

And we things other races don't! We party harder funny enough.

A turian mentions it in ME2. How most alcoholic beverages everyone uses today, was invented by humans. How it seems like humans found out every intoxication there is and let it spread like wildfire to others. Out endless libraries of music, the videogames we've made, the art, the instruments we play.

And a Salarian mentions how human food is their favourite. Don't the Hanar also like our sushi? funny enough.

We're infectious. Easily accept anyone and everyone into our groups if we happened to click with them, we even befriended the animals on our planets enough to care for them like our own children.

#☆humans #☆human kink #☆Drell #☆Hanar #☆Turians #☆krogans #☆fluff

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spockandawe · 6 days

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Hello! I've been thinking about binding some danmei novels in my native language, but I don't know where to start. I found your blog recently and find it very inspiring! I was wondering if maybe you could share with me what tools and materials would be good to get started with?

Sure!!!! So, I'm on mobile and don't have links at hand, but if you go back through my bookbinding tag, there are other replies I've got about the materials for making a book specifically. The renegade publishing blog also has resource documents that walk through the bookbinding process and include links to educational materials, etc. So for here, I'll focus on the danmei side of things!

So, a fun feature about these books is that they tend to run LONG. I've seen a number of people try to take up bookbinding in google docs, and honestly, it's doing things on hard mode. For many danmei, it's basically impossible. I think my EARLIEST earliest attempt at svsss began in gdocs, and that's not a super long novel, but gdocs was choking on it. A word processor on your desktop is going to be your best bet. Personally, i invested in a microsoft office license, because it was familiar and i could afford it. But the free parallel to that will be libre office, which does basically everything word can do, with just minor differences.

On the fancy end of bookbinding software, affinity, indesign, and microsoft publisher are also names you may hear tossed around. These can do fancier, more artistic layouts, but also come with a heavier price tag. And because i had webnovels on my radar from the start, i wanted something ROBUST. I wanted to be able to dump all of the husky and his white cat shizun into a single file and work from it. And i did eventually do that! Being able to typeset a single file rather than repeat each step across several is great, especially since i tend to tweak design choices as i go.

For danmei, you're also going to want a robust printer. I have a color laser that's been an absolute beast of a machine, but a black and white laser can get you a long ways, and monochrome designs can be very elegant. You don't want an HP brand printer, their toner subscription practices are downright predatory, but Brother and Canon are names I've seen recommended highly. You probably don't want an inkjet printer, because long books take a LOT of ink. The one exception would be if you can find an affordable ink tank printer.

And the last major thing i can think of is that if your main computer is a laptop, consider typesetting with an external mouse and keyboard! Danmei novels are split into lots of short chapters, frequently split across just as many web pages, with lots of footnotes to format, and laptops are convenient but not ergonomic. Doing too much on there is just asking for a repetitive strain injury. I've done it, but often paid for my sins in pain! And your laptop keyboard may start complaining too, I'm almost certain my first typeset of mdzs was the nail in the coffin for my last laptop's keyboard, haha

I hope that helps! Best of luck to you! Ive found binding cnovels to be EXTREMELY rewarding, even though my original reason was because these things would NEVER be licensed in english 😂 I'm delighted to see people experimenting with it for other translations in other languages, I really hope it goes well for you!!!!

#spock replies #bookbinding

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amethystfairy1 · 5 months

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Hello hello I gots some questions if you don’t mind

So we know some hybrids from different sub species that are in relationships like Lizzie and Joel and doc and etho but I was wondering if there were any specific sub species that only stay with their own type of sub species? And if there is, do or would they ever give others who are from the same sub species as them a glare if they saw a person from their same sub species in a relationship with a hybrid or mutant of different sub species? Example: Joel and Lizzie, would any of the cat hybrids ever do a double take on her being married to a butterfly hybrid? (I know they probably wouldn’t but this was for the sake of an example)

Is there a number in mind for how many different types of sub species are living in the under city? Or would it be like trying to count each specific m&m in a large bowl? Is there too many sub species to count or would you use a broad number like for example 1000 to get your point across?

Are there other new types of sub species you have in mind but haven’t talked about yet? (Ignore this question if it’s a large spoiler LMAO)

Are there any other sub species that have a bad reputation? I’m aware that creeper hybrids are know to be intimidating and most avoid them (at least I’m pretty sure) but are there any hybrids or mutants that when people learn what sub species they are they immediately hate and or dislike them? If so why or how did they get such a bad reputation?

(I really hope my questions weren’t annoying I just really enjoy your work and I had some questions!))

(I also apologize if any of these questions have been asked before)

Hello, hello! I never ever mind questions, I absolutely love them! Thank you for sending them over! ☺️

Alrighty, let’s see what we’ve got! 🏃‍♀️

1. Not really, no, or at least, I never intend to explore that. I think the closest we might get are perhaps blaze-borns or warden mutants, both of whom are known for being very solitary and keeping to their own areas, not usually living in the main cavern, but I don’t think there would be any sort of dislike/unhappiness from anyone if someone of that subspecies dated/married outside of it. The under-city is big, yeah, but it’s not that big so it’s always been common practice for people to mix and match. It’s just been growing more common than ever thanks to how Doc and Etho’s work has been connecting the various levels of the city like never before!

2. I think the m&ms in a bowl allegory is the best…there’s a LOT of them, I don’t want to put any sort of number on it just for the sake of IRL reasons, which are that I do make up parts of this AU as I go along, and I’d hate to give myself some pre-determined boundary for how creative and crazy we can get with all of these hybrids/mutants…so let’s just say A LOT and leave it at that.

3. YES and that is ALL I WILL SAY 😆

4. I think ‘bad’ reputation is the wrong way of putting it. No one necessarily has an immediate hatred for another based solely on subspecies. I mean, Ren and Lizzie are friends! And they’re literally a dog and a cat! But there are other sorts of reputations that can carry with someone’s subspecies. There’s Doc, of course, who we know is a sweetheart and a gentle giant but people are afraid of him because he’s nearly seven feet tall and terrifying-looking, that’s not his fault, though…and the augmentations aren’t exactly helping. 😭 We will also be learning more about dog hybrid clans with Ren, the deep dark with Cub, and blaze-born pyres with Tango, so through that I hope to show a bit more nuance in the traits and tendencies of all these various subspecies, because it is quite a lot of fun!

They were not annoying! I PROMISE I WILL NEVER FIND QUESTIONS ANNOYING! You’re giving me an excuse to ramble about a thing that lives in my brain and forced itself out in the form of a fanfic series, I am delighted so if you ever have any more questions send another ask! I will be happy to answer! (unless it’s spoilers but then I’ll just say that) so yeah! I’ve been having so much fun with the blog and the asks and the posts and stuff! So thank you for coming by! 💖

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #hermitcraft #traffic smp #through the sky blue cracks #hermitshipping #trafficshipping #worldbuilding #life series #empires smp #docm77 #cubfan135 #tango tek #tangotek #rendog #ldshadowlady #joel smallishbeans #joel/lizzie #doctho

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gazingstarsabove · 17 days

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Hi! Thank you for your services, I love your headcanons!

I have a request, can you share your thoughts of what the SQ was doing before the madness? Not just work, but lives, relationships, goals, that sort of thing.

If it comes more natural as story than a list, I'm perfectly fine with that, too!

Thank you!!! <3

interesting! I'll list you some little headcanons for the main SQ, this is a thought I haven't really think about, but it makes me curious! and thank you!! I put a lot of effort in my headcanons, glad to see you like them! ^^

•Hank, before he became the psychotic bloodthirsty murderer we all know, he was just an average guy. Just an average grunt walking down the street, rather, a really buff one. Even before he did the killing, he was still just a quiet as ever, but he'd speak a few words and I think would hold longer in small talks, listening in carefully. Not the best in socializing, but he does give the best hugs, I assume.

·He lives a quiet life, he resides in an apartment dorm with a stray cat he decided to take in. He doesn't really have relatives nor friends, he's just really introverted and prefers time to himself. He's the type to take in volleyball training and sports, it would be actually pretty fitting for him. But he keeps popping the ball, he doesn't really mean to, but he strikes the ball a little too hard.

·He would just be your average (buff) nevadean. I think he likes sweets and likes to spend some time playing guitar while sitting beside a tree, strumming the chords as he hums his little tune.

·His relationship with anyone? He's not really interested. He doesn't really see anything in anyone, rather, just other people trying to live their lives. He views the world a little monotone, but that's just his way of living things.

•2BDamned, or Doc, would be a medical student before the madness.. to say it didn't really go as planned. He wasn't as attentive as the other students, he was slightly overwhelmed with the projects and board exams he had to take before actually becoming a doctor. But that wouldn't stop him from practicing. He dropped out of medical school and decided to make his own path for himself. He spends his free time learning the (human) grunt anatomy, studying the different organs, bones and joints, etc..

·He was determined to atleast try and attempt to be a good doctor, something his parents and he himself would be proud of. He doesn't have a PhD, that much was obvious. He was socially awkward, but he was nice. As time goes on he started to realize that him being a doctor would be impossible without a PhD.

·He was quite serious about his goals, but he never seem to bring himself to actually accomplish them. He'd still continue studying, but an actual goal was never set on his mind, only temporary tasks that he needed to get done, ones like; 'oh I need to do this project', 'oh I'm curious about this thing guess I'll do research about it'.

·He's not with anyone, though a lot of people do know him, he only finds them as acquaintances. But he has been curious about his own sexually, questioning himself and not getting a clear answer about anything.

•Sanford is a mind breaking one! I'm not sure if before the madness, he'd be a weightlifter, some sort of coach or a lifeguard. But I suppose him being a weightlifter and a lifeguard makes sense? It just sticks with me! It fits his personality, imo. Him being a weightlifter might be a good explanation as to why he's so lean, and he's probably one of those kind, and more socializing lifeguards. He can swim, yeah, but he'll probably scream or whistle at someone if they run in the wet paths, especially tiled floors. He's just concerned they'll fall and injure themselves.

·I feel like his dream was to just live in a little home, away from the city, and have a peaceful life. He's good all on his own, but knows a few contacts and a few friends he always checks up on. He'd be a good friend. He always thought of adopting a dog, but never really had guts to handle the responsibility.

·He didn't have a relationship with anyone, but he has thought about getting a girlfriend or boyfriend. He always thought what it would be like coming home to his lover, he always thought it was quite cute. But he gets all quiet and introverted around women, he's not the best at flirting but he tries.

•Deimos even before the madness already lives a fun and chaotic life, hanging out with several friends and living his life like it ends tomorrow. He always wanted to do insane stuff like sky diving, mountain climbing, and other stuff. He'd be a fan of race cars, I think. He lives in an apartment, and his bedroom is always so messy it's astonishing. He can go days without washing his clothes.

·He only learned how to smoke when he was recruited in SQ, so that being said.. his lungs were still healthy back then!!! Though his liver wasn't! He'd be chugging energy drinks all night, while he plays his videogames.·He isn't really the healthiest guy, but he's really fun to be with! I'd like to imagine there isn't a moment where he's not smirking or grinning. And he's not the most organized person, his wardrobe is always either empty or always full of unwashed clothes.

·He was quite the loudmouth, but getting a girlfriend/boyfriend was difficult. Mostly people only find his flirting to be annoying, which he doesn't really mind since there's a lot of fish in the sea. But it kinda stings his pride though.

#madness combat #madcom #madness combat hank #madness combat 2bdamned #madness combat sanford #madness combat doc #madness combat deimos #requests!!#asks!!

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nancywheeeler · 2 months

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omg!! please share what other heist films you watched, that’s such a fun idea. and which was your fav!!!!

i would love to share my watchlist for heist week!! all are films before 1970, because i wanted to watch heists new to me, but i'll also include some modern heist movies i love at the bottom!

The Asphalt Jungle (1950) — the granddaddy of the heist genre. it's really good! and it has every aspect of the heist (the planning, the execution, and the fallout), which i love.

The Lavender Hill Mob (1951) — so goofy and fun. features fantastic Alec Guinness performance and some great screwball elements (one of the final sequences reminded me a lot of the climax of What's Up, Doc.)

Ocean's Eleven (1960) — eh. I felt the problems were threefold: 1) took forever just to get to the heist, 2) all the guys looked the same and most did not have a defining role in the heist, and 3) Hay's Code ending. It's not terrible, but not worth watching when there is a far superior remake.

The League of Gentlemen (1960) — i can often be found on letterboxd bemoaning the fact there is probably an alternate universe where monty python made a heist movie and we're not in that universe. but! this film is definitely the closest we're gonna get. similar to the lavender hill mob in that they're both very british and very, very funny. really loved the level of shenanigans going here.

Gambit (1966) — my favorite of the week! it's a smaller heist (three person crew), but the film really plays with the idea of expectation vs. actual execution, and the assumptions white british guys make about, among other things, everyone who is not also a white british guy. bonus: shirley maclaine and michael caine have incredible chemistry. a great watch! highly recommend!

The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) — love when hot people commit crimes and other hot people try to stop them. the pacing here is a bit wonky, but it has a slick, sexy opening sequence and i'll never say no to a cat and mouse game. the heisting is definitely secondary though, just so you know that going in.

All the Heists I Loved Before: The Killing (1956), The Italian Job (1969), Sneakers (1992), Ocean's 11 (2001), Inception (2010), The Town (2010), Logan Lucky (2017), American Animals (2018), Ocean's 8 (2018)

#ask #i actually do these little theme weeks a lot and i love planning them #so if anyone is ever curious about what else i'm watching or wants a watchlist based around a certain theme please hit me up!#also i didn't include the usual suspects or reservoir dogs in my other heist movies list #just because they're so unconventional it's hard to justify calling them true heist movies #but i love them both as well!

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evilrat-sabre · 3 months

Text

Welsknight Season 7, EP 1 and 2 a Rat's report

So I started watching Wels season 7 again for reasons™ and decided I should take notes, not only of what he does, but about things I observe around the server, so here is my trying to understand my own notes and sharing with y'all. Idk if I will do it again, but I had fun doing this.

Note: I did it again! NEXT

INSANE "Starter" House! | Hermitcraft 7 - Ep. 1

27:04 length, posted 23 may 2020. Watched 30 January 2023.

Wels starts the video referring to it as Season 6, he says that he just had a nap, and he is ready to go work in "projects"

He finds it weird that no one is online Cub enters the world and gets weirded out with Wels being on the word Wels talks with Cub in the nether hub -Wels calls Cub a vex and this makes me unreasonable happy -Wels refers to season 7 as "the future" He goes through a suspicious diamond portal and ends in Hermitcraft season 7

At season 7 Cub gives him some of Scar's crystals, He grabs two:

"Courage of the lion" and a "A gift of love", because I quote -Love is all you need-

Some time observation notes:

Grass and mycelium mix in the Shopping District, this is before the war.

I see a Mumbo for mayor map, I am still not sure what point in the mayoral election this is.

It's before the nether update: The button is alive.

I probably should mention he builds his starter base, it has a lovely colour pallet.

This is where my episode one notes ends, but I went a little bonkers with episode two notes,

Mines & Landscapes | Hermitcraft 7 - Ep. 2

26:15 length, posted 27 may 2020. Watched 30 January 2023.

He starts mining and talking about the burnout he was going through, apparently he took a 8 months break of minecraft, started streaming and swapped to a more general gaming content creation.

Personal note: This reminded me why I started watching Wels to begin with; the man was receiving awful comments, because of his lack of minecraft posting. I was new to the fandom and hadn't ever watched him before, when I got here he was already going with his now very familiar cycle of posting minecraft and vanishing for some time, maybe posting another game and maybe posting nothing for months. I will not lie, I started watching him of pure spite to the awful people that felt like it was a acceptable comportment to go to this guy's comment section and talk shit about how if he wasn't going to post he should get kicked out Hermitcraft. I said it at that time and I will always repeat: You are aren't entitled NOTHING, Wels and honestly any other youtuber, by default owns you nothing, and being a little hater will only ostracize you from other people from this community. aNYWAY; I got hooked in his Binding of Isaac series, and to today he is my favorite youtuber, and his videos -Minecraft or not- bring me great joy. Okay back to my report.

*Spams clicks his bed when the sun starts to go downs* "Bdubs isn't online, someone gotta fill up" Sir, just admit you have a sleeping problem /j

*Insert epic wither skeleton killing montage here*

The button is dead. Wels comment at seeing it dead: "The Gift machine is broken, good thing I didn't spend a long time camping, I could be hurt"

Wels starts going through the mayoral candidates and starts reasoning why he wouldn't vote to some of them

Mumbo: "I can't in good conscious support Mumbo, because I don't need a spoon" (Personal note: I was so amused I anoted the time stamp 07:15) Scar: Scar offered cats for everyone if he wins and I quote Wels "I don't even like cats" (Personal note: Even your favs can do wrong; sometimes living in denial and turning a blind eye for things is a good thing to do /hj) Doc: "I don't know, where I will even begin" (Personal note: "this green man was occupied having a child", Its a good start of a explanation and "He is a menace and a threat to society" is also a very reasonable one. Joe: "He isn't running for mayor" (Personal note: Yeah, he was running for something even better, the whole Dog catcher thing, may be one of the best things I ever saw in minecraft. "Create a problem that only you can solve, so now you hold political power over your fellow friends and coworkers") So this leaves Wels with two good option False and Stress, he can't really decide so he leaves his concrete vote in both of them. (Rat's reaction : Yesss, vote in our queens, oh brave knight!)

10/10 he would book again

Why is he killing the wither with a axe?? (I know why, but let me fins him weird)

He is doing his starter base interior; I am having House flipper flashbacks, at least it isn't grey.

No one sells feathers, Wels commits murder of the poultry category.

He send letters to his close neighbors, it starts with "Hidey-ho neighbor-" and I am smiling wide and losing my marbles.

Every neighbor receives two blue flowers, with exception of Jevin who receives two yellow ones (Persona note: I find this funny, because Jevin is the only one I am aware that blue is his favorite color)

Some time and world observation notes:

Barge was updated from Ep 1 to 2, Wels complimented it.

I just saw Grumbot- Oh god the shopping district was so ugly. (My actual live reaction)

This is the end of my report for now. God I am nostalgic, Season 7 was the season I got into Hermitcraft, and it fills me with joy seeing if from the pov of my favorite youtuber.

#Rat's hermitcraft report #hermitcraft #welsknight #hermitcraft season 7 #Welsknight Season 7

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wings-of-sapphire · 3 months

Text

Snow White rewrite

Hello loves, so I’ve been procrastinating this for a WHILE but I was like fuck it I’ll post what I have so far

Remember like fifteen years ago when I said I’d post my Snow White rewrite? Well, I want to get at least some of it out to get some traction going, especially since Disney’s live-action Snow White is coming out soon and I’m… intrigued to see how it goes.

Anyways, here’s my WIP rewrite— not finished, may be subject to edits later, I have reasons for what I’m doing trust me

Red as the Rose

A Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs rewrite (revamp? Idk)

Meet Snow Dysni.

Her stepmother is not the nicest person.

She’s never met her mother, as she died shortly after Snow was born, so she wasn’t exactly well-versed in motherhood knowledge. But she was pretty sure stepmothers aren’t supposed to kill you.

Some backstory.

Snow is the princess of the kingdom of Grimm. Grimmians are a wonderful people. At least, Snow assumes so. She hasn’t interacted with them much.

Her birth mother was allegedly murdered by an enchantress, and then her father sort of freaked out and banned all magic. All the neighboring kingdoms started to follow his rule, forcing all the magical creatures to go into hiding. Most fled to the Twists, a cursed forest full of the Wrathborne– nightmares come to life. Yeah. Magic, from what Snow has learned, isn’t the greatest.

But still, being cooped up in this castle all day isn’t really the life. Snow knew all the staff’s names by heart. But there’s no teens in the palace, and her only friend is this cat that roams the castle grounds sometimes. Snow named her Shanks. She brings Snow flower snacks sometimes.

It’s just meetings and being locked up in her room. Her stepmother says it’s unbecoming for a princess with such little social awareness to be among the people. Snow’s only meeting royals and nobles. Like today, a meeting with Isel, the eastern kingdom, and their prince, Florian White.

Snow talks with Florian. When he laughs, it makes something inside her bubble. Maybe he poisoned her.

Oh, no. He poisoned her!

The royal nurse clears Snow, though. I guess Florian can pass for now.

There’s also Huntsman, whose real name Snow doesn’t know. She tries to talk with him sometimes. He doesn’t really talk otherwise.

But one day, Huntsman tells Snow that he can sneak her out of the castle for a night. She agrees. Because obviously!

Huntsman takes Snow out to see the Grimmians. To see her people! Away from her stepmother. Queen Isla Grimhilde. Snow doesn’t know why her father puts up with her. She really doesn’t.

They end up in the Twists.

Snow asks Huntsman what they’re doing here.

He pulls out a knife and stabs her. Snow screams, blood splattering the floor. She hears a Wrathborne near, then something tackles the Huntsman. Probably. She can’t see anything, too blind from pain. White, searing pain. All she can think of is blood. Her blood.

Snow sees the Wrathborne fighting with the Huntsman. Snow gasps out in pain and starts to stumble away. She sees a cottage in the distance. She falls to the floor. She hears voices above her.

She passes out.

Snow awakens up to grumbling. Something about red on the sheets. She blearily opens her eyes. She see six noses poking out on top of the bedframe.

She tries to scramble up. Someone cries out. It took Snow a moment to realize it was her. Red-hot pain shoots up her back.

“Woah, woah, steady there!”

Snow stares at the man beside her. Er… child? Man the size of a child?

Oh. Dwarves!

“You’re dwarves!” she croaks out.

The dwarf laughs. He introduces himself as Doc, the eldest brother. He explains how their nephew found me outside, bleeding, and had to go, but notified Doc and his brothers about her. They treated her.

Snow tries to scream, but a hand claps over her mouth. Snow sees another dwarf in front of her. He looks like he wants her head.

“Quiet, lass! You’ll attract Grimhilde’s soldiers!”

“The heck I will! You’re illegal magicals! You should be arrested!”

“We saved your royal life! Show some gratefulness!”

Aaaanyways. The seven introduce themself. There’s Doc, the oldest and the kindest. Happy, who’s… happy all the time. Snow has a suspicion he may be on drugs. Grumpy doesn’t like her at all. Dopey— at least she thinks that’s his name… maybe it’s Mopey but that doesn’t seem right— is mute and signs. Snow unfortunately doesn’t know sign, so his brothers have to translate.

Uhhh there’s Sleepy. Mate, same. Sneezy… please stay away. Bashful Snow doesn't know much about, as he tends to stay away.

Apparently there was an eighth named Raspulstin or whatever… Snow wasn’t really paying attention. She’s too busy analyzing everything.

Magic was evil. Magic killed her mother. Magic is what creates the Wrathborne, the evil spirits of the Twists.

But these magicals… saved her.

#lol gonna edit the hell out of this later #idk #current wip #snow white #writing by sapphire #disney rewrites #snow white and the seven dwarfs #snow white and the 7 dwarfs #idk what I’m doing

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