#i know nobody else cares but this was my superbowl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brywrites · 4 years

Text

Habits

Requested: The Reader discovers Reid’s old scars and he tells her the truth about where they came from.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reid has many habits she has discovered in the three years they have worked together. He avoids physical contact most of the time. He puts way too much sugar in his coffee. When he’s nervous he pulls on his knuckles or folds his hands under his arms. His socks are always mismatched. And he never wears short sleeves.

Y/N assumes it has something to do with temperature, or perhaps it’s sensory thing. She never asks, knowing that if he wants to explain it to her, he will. It’s just one of the many things that makes him Reid, and she loves all those little things, even if she’ll never voice the sentiment out loud. It’s a habit she takes for granted, and hardly thinks about, other than on summer days when it’s boiling hot and she wonders to herself how he never seems to overheat in a long-sleeve shirt or cardigan. So when it happens, she hardly thinks twice about it.

They’re out in the middle of nowhere, inspecting a cabin up in the mountains where the unsub might be. Y/N is at the front door while Reid checks the shed out back. Just as she forces the door open, she hears Morgan’s voice in her earpiece.

“We’ve got him. Marshall Thomas was at the secondary location. We’re taking him into custody Rebecca James is here, too she’s okay.”

She breathes a sigh of relief. So they finally found him, and the missing woman is okay. “Thanks, Morgan,” she says into the microphone on her vest. “Reid and I will make sure the cabin is clear and meet you all back at the station soon.”

But no sooner than she says the words does she hear a scream. Y/N spints through the cabin and out the back door to find Spencer in the doorway of the shed, his hand clamped over his right arm.

“Reid, are you okay?” she asks, her heart in her throat.

He turns to her, his face scrunched up in a wince of pain. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just a booby trap.” He nods towards the doorway, and she peers around him to see a sharp blade jutting out from the door frame, jerry-rigged with a rope and springs to pop out when the door is open, thus surprising any unwelcome guests. She breathes a sigh of relief that it only got his arm and not his throat or his chest.

“How bad is it?” she asks. Reid tentatively removes his hand from his arm to reveal a bloom of crimson across his white shirt. “It must’ve cut you pretty deep. We’re an hour from the town and it would take the medics forever to get out here. We need to stop the bleeding before we drive back.”

“Y/N, it’s okay.” But he winces again, his fingers twitching towards the wound as if he’s trying to stop himself from grabbing at it once more. She gives him a steady look and he sighs. “Alright, fine.”

She goes to grab the first aid kit from the SUV and returns to the shed where she finds him sitting on a tree stump. She kneels beside him, glancing at his shirt. It’s a button-down dress shirt with narrow sleeves, and there’s no way he’ll be able to roll the sleeves all the way up to his shoulder, where the wound is.

“Can you take off your shirt?” she asks, rummaging in the kit for gauze bandages. He turns to stare at her with wide eyes, his eyebrows raised as though she’s demanded something absolutely absurd. “I need to be able to get to the cut. You don’t have to take it all the way off, just take your arm out on that side.”

“Is this really necessary?” he asks.

“Spencer, come on!” She can’t help but laugh at how petulant he’s being. “You’re smart, you know it is. The sooner you let me help you, the sooner we can go back. And maybe then we get be home in time for the Star Trek marathon this weekend that you promised we could watch together.”

He hesitates, his gaze falling to the ground. He licks his lips then presses them into a thin line. Another nervous habit, one he does when he’s worried or trying to make a difficult decision. It doesn’t make sense to her. Why is he so reluctant to let her help him? He exhales slowly, then removes his vest, pulling it off roughly without bothering to properly undo the Velcro. He goes to undo the buttons of his shirt but she can tell the movement hurts.

“Here, let me,” she says, reaching over to assist. She can feel him stiffen and she tries to avoid touching him too much. He’s usually so comfortable around her but perhaps the stress and the pain is overwhelming him right now. Y/N unbuttons the rest of his shirt and he shrugs his right arm out of the sleeve. Only briefly does she let her eyes wander over him. A freckle just below his collarbone. The pale skin of his chest. The curve of his neck. He’s not muscular like Morgan. He’s lean, clearly in shape, but there is a softness to him still. Her cheeks flush and she tries to refocus on the wound on his shoulder. She pours rubbing alcohol onto a cloth. “This is going to sting a bit,” she tells him, wiping away the blood. He only flinches slightly.

Once she’s sure it’s clean, she grabs the gauze bandage. “Can you hold your arm out for me?” she asks. Again, he hesitates, turning away from her as he does so. She holds hand in one of hers to keep his arm steady while she carefully wraps the bandage around the wound several times, applying enough pressure to help with the bleeding. It won’t be perfect, but it’ll do until they can get back down the mountain and into town. As she wraps, she lets her concentration drift again, distracted by the geography of his arm, the veins and tendons, the strange grace of his long fingers. It’s then that she spots the marks.

At first she thinks it’s just a trick of the light, but when she looks closer, she knows they’re real. A constellation of circular scars connected by bruise-like discoloration. She stares as she wraps the rest of the bandage, her focus as flimsy as the thin gauze. She’s seen enough in this line of work and in her life to know that something isn’t right. Those aren’t normal scars. But what she doesn’t know is if they’re new or why they’re there and it makes sense but it doesn’t. Not him. This is Reid, her friend. Reid who always gives her the best book recommendation and watches sci-fi shows with her on the weekend, who eats all the popcorn she makes and always laughs at her jokes. The same man who hates getting shots and is scared of the dark and gives the best hugs. He’s kind and warm and gentle and it just doesn’t add up.

She finishes wrapping the bandage. He’s still turned away from her. She lets her touch meander slowly down his arm, stopping in the crook of his elbow where the marks are. He immediately tenses up.

“What happened?” she asks. He swallows hard but doesn’t answer. “Spencer, please, you can tell me anything. I… I just want to know that you’re okay.”

He closes his eyes. His free hand clenches into a fist. But he doesn’t pull away. The silence hangs heavy between them and she wonders if she’s crossed a line. She’s terrified in those quiet moments with nothing but the sound of the wind and her pounding heart, wondering what the next words he speaks will be.

“They’re old,” he says quietly. “Five years, seven months, and nineteen days old. To be exact.” At that, she can breathe a little easier. So they’re not fresh. He’s not in danger. But he was, at some point. “It was the Hankel case, back in Georgia. The one where JJ and I split up and the unsub kept me captive in a shack.”

She’s heard stories here and there, from JJ and Hotch and Morgan. It’s why they try not to go too far when they split up on a property, why they never do anything as a team for the Superbowl, and why JJ refuses to get a dog despite Henry’s pleadings.

Reid continues. “Hankel kept me high most of the time. He used Dilaudid. Which is… strong, to say the least. And after everything ended I kept using it on my own. It became a habit. And then an addiction. I didn’t know how else to cope. It went on for three months. I almost lost my job. I – I wasn’t proud of who I was then. And it took my a long time to make amends. But I’ve been clean ever since. 12 step program, regular NA meetings, therapy. I’m clean now. I’m sober.”

“Does the rest of the team know?” she asks.

He shrugs. “More or less. I told Gideon and he told Hotch eventually. JJ knows. Emily and Morgan know some of it. I don’t know about Rossi and Garcia.”

She moves her hand so that both of hers hold his right hand. “So that’s why you never wear short sleeves.”

He finally turns to look at her. “What?”

“You never wear short sleeve shirts. And if you roll your sleeves up it’s never past the elbow. I figured it was just a sensory thing but – I understand now.”

“You noticed that?”

“Well, yeah.” She looks down, the heat returning to her cheeks. She notices everything about him. The soft curls in his hair, the slightly lopsided way he smiles, how his voice falls softer when he’s speaking to a child or a victim. How he has quite a habit of inducing the feeling of butterflies when he looks at her. “Thank you for telling me this,” she adds. “I know it’s not easy.”

“I don’t like to talk about it,” he says. “It’s in the past. And there’s a certain… stigma attached.” The self-loathing is evident on his face and it breaks her heart.

“Hey, you don’t ever have to feel ashamed about what you’ve survived. That takes a lot of strength. And a lot of courage to share it. You don’t ever have to worry about that with me, okay?” She squeezes his hand a little tighter, hoping that gesture can somehow convey how much she cares for him. How much she wants him to feel safe around her, as safe as she feels when she’s with him.

“I know,” Reid says, his voice quiet. “I know that I can talk to you. But I didn’t want you to think of me like that. Like an addict. Like someone broken.”

“I would never. And you’re not broken. You’re brave.”

Reid runs his free hand through his hair. “I just…” Another deep sigh, as though he’s exhaling the past itself. “You look at me like nobody else does.” So he has noticed. “And when you do I feel like I can be anything. Like I’m somehow more whole. And I don’t always feel worthy of that. But I really really want to be. I don’t ever want you to stop looking at me like that. And I’ve been so scared that this will change that.”

“Spencer. Look at me.” And he does. His eyebrows knit together, his hazel eyes searching hers anxiously. She hopes she can see every ounce of adoration that she feels written on her features. “This doesn’t change that. You’re still you. Vulnerable and honest and brilliant and good. Nothing about who you are will ever make me love you less.” And she wonders if he knows just what she means when she says that word. Because when he’s looking at her she feels like everything is a little bit warmer, a little bit softer, a little more real. He makes her feel brave and safe all at once. He makes her feel seen. More like herself. And she doesn’t want that to end either.

“Thank you for telling me.” And to show just how much this doesn’t change things, she squeezes his hand again and oh so carefully leans in to press the faintest of quick kisses to his cheek. When she pulls away his expression has changed, and he has that look in his eyes that makes her think he somehow sees something in her she’s never noticed herself.

“Why do you look at me like that?” he asks. And she can tell from the way he speaks it almost like a statement rather than a question that he already knows the answer. She suspects he’s known for a while now, but he needs to hear it the same way she needs to hear him say the same thing.

The air is all electricity and tension, but it’s broken suddenly by Hotch’s voice through their earpieces. “Reid, Y/L/N, what’s your ETA?”

The both jump, startled out of the moment. “Um, we’re, uh…” She tries to quiet her thundering heart and answer the question. “About forty minutes away. Reid got hurt which slowed us down, but it’s nothing major. We’ll be there soon.” Out of the corner of her eye she can see Reid hastily rebuttoning his shirt.

“Alright. Drive safe.”

She stands and shakes her head slightly, as if she can push away this lightheaded feeling. “I guess we should get going,” she says quickly. She packs up the first aid kit and starts towards the SUV, but just as she’s about to open the door –

“Y/N.” He grabs her hand and she spins around to see that the look in his eyes hasn’t changed. And for the first time since she asked him to remove his shirt, he has a smile on his face. But she can’t look at it for long because the next thing she knows his lips are on hers and she’s kissing him back and the first aid kit has long since fallen from her grasp.

“You have no idea,” he says, “how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Oh, I can imagine.” And they stand there in dirt in the middle of nowhere and she knows that they’d feel like the only two people in the world right now even if they weren’t on a mountain all alone. Gazing at each other with soft eyes and giddy, disbelieving smiles, and an expression that could only ever be love.

He helps her collect the first aid kit and as she puts the SUV in drive, he reaches over and takes her hand in his. Squeezing it twice, gently.

And she thinks to herself that this is a habit she could definitely get used to.

#criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #brywrites #habits #spencer reid

240 notes · View notes

spaceskam · 4 years

Note

I'd love to see someone explore kyle being at the gay bar possibly hoping alex walks in? gone there bc of feelings for alex and wanting to explore it? have gone there with alex once and kept going back? has actually gone there ever since getting back to roswell but nobody noticed? idk so many possibilities but ending up with alex 😌

(i keep trying to add a read more and it refuses I hate it)

“You know, gay bars are supposed to be safe places, not places straight people go to for a museum experience.”

Kyle quickly looked up to Alex, eyes wide as he watched him walk towards him. In all the time he’d been coming here, he never actually expected to run into Alex here. Alex didn’t exactly seem the type to actually go out without being provoked to do so. It meant Kyle had to actually explain himself.

Which, you know, would’ve been easier if he knew how to.

“That’s... not what I’m doing,” Kyle said. Alex smirked more to himself than anyone else, sitting down at the table with his drink in hand. He looked more relaxed than Kyle was used to seeing him which immediately told him that absolutely was not his first drink.

“What are you doing then?” Alex asked, “Because I’ve been trying to figure out why the hell you’re in here for about thirty minutes now.”

Kyle huffed a laugh. “You’ve been watching me for thirty minutes?”

“I was trying to see what you would do if a guy came up to ask you to dance,” Alex told him, “Weirdly enough, no one did.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m anyone’s type around here,” Kyle laughed, shifting in his seat to try and hide the actual reason no one asked him to dance. There were only so many queer people in Roswell bold enough to go to a gay bar. Kyle had already been there enough times that anyone interested had already asked.

“Bullshit,” Alex said, shaking his head and looking way too hot doing it, “You just give off vibrant cishet vibes.”

Kyle tilted his head at his clearly very drunk friend. “That’s a new descriptor.”

“Yeah, I think it’s fitting.”

“I don’t know if I’d say that,” Kyle said, taking a sip of his own drink. If he was going to have to do this, he needed to catch up to Alex’s level of intoxication immediately. He ended up downing it before he looked back at Alex.

“Oh, shit, so you’re trying to get drunk to avoid to question,” Alex said, still smiling and laughing easily. It was weird seeing him so light. Kyle was kind of obsessed with it even if his presence was stressful. “Here, have mine.”

Kyle took it and drank it all, deciding he needed at least one more before he was at Alex’s level.

“How about this,” Alex said, leaning forward, “I buy you a drink and you dance with me.”

Kyle licked his lips and stared at him. All his visits here, all his experimenting, seemed to lead up to this moment. That was all training and dumb shit to test the waters and make sure he wasn’t a fool. This... this was the real deal. This was Alex, his friend and the guy who made him question anything in the first place. This was like fighting the big boss. This was the fucking Superbowl.

“Why are you staring at me like a deer caught in headlights? You want a drink or no?” Alex asked, still smiling. Kyle blinked out of his daze and nodded.

“Yes, absolutely,” he agreed. Alex nodded and stood up, walking to the bar to get him another drink. Kyle took that moment to prepare himself, knowing that this was the night he was going to come out to Alex and it was going to be fucking awesome. Hopefully. Maybe. Fuck.

Coming out was easier said than done. It was one thing to stroll into a gay bar for the first time with no confidence and be boosted up by a ballsy twink who gave him head before the end of the night. It was one thing to get comfortable with the idea of being with men and trying his own hand at new things with strangers in their cars. All of that was easy because he wasn’t even necessarily attracted to them, it was just a good way to experiment and they didn’t mind teaching him when he admitted that he was new to it all. It was something completely different to try and approach his friend who was so confident he was straight and say ‘hey, I might be in love with you in a gay way’.

But Alex came over with a drink and kept looking at him like he was curious and Kyle tried to tell himself this was going to go his way.

“So, am I ever going to find out the real reason you’re here?” Alex said as Kyle tried to consume the drink as fast as he could so they could go dance, “It’s not to, like, creep on women who come here for other women, right? Because I might have to kick your ass for that.”

“No, that’s definitely not why,” Kyle said, pulling the straw out and just tilting the whole thing back. Alex shook his head.

“What the hell are you hiding, Valenti?” he asked, looking somewhere between amused and turned on and Kyle had exactly no idea how to handle that. Probably because there’s no way that’s what he was actually feeling.

“Let’s dance,” Kyle said, pushing himself to his feet and absorbing the slightly woozy feeling of the alcohol.

“Yeah, let’s.”

Kyle avoided any looks the men he’d hooked up with before gave him as he pulled Alex onto the floor. They didn’t need to know anything and Alex definitely didn't need to get any ideas from them. He wanted to tell Alex himself. That was the goal.

Alex pulled him close, a challenging look in his eye as if he was just waiting for some type of line to be crossed. He grabbed his hand in one of his and put the other on his lower back, slow-dancing to the relatively fast-paced music. Kyle went along with every move.

“So, what’s the goal here?” Alex asked, leaning in close to speak. Kyle swallowed harshly at the feeling of his breath on his ear. Okay, so there was no time being wasted.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you at a gay bar?” Alex asked again, “And why are you so okay with dancing with a gay guy? I’m trying to decipher your motives.”

“I’m not some straight guy trying to prove that I’m not a homophobe anymore if that’s what you mean,” Kyle told him, “I come here because I like the atmosphere.”

“What straight guy comes to a gay bar by himself?”

Kyle took a deep breath and focused on the alcohol in his system. Now or never.

“Why are you so sure I’m straight?”

Alex froze in his grasp before he leaned away from him, his eyebrows furrowed as he eyed him. Kyle stared back, unwavering and trying not to seem like a total loser. There was no way this was going to end the way he would’ve liked.

“So... what do you mean by that?”

“I guess the word is bisexual?” Kyle said, “Or something. I’ve talked to a couple guys here and they agree that sounds right. I’m pretty sure my percentage is, like, 85% women, 15% men, or maybe even less towards men, but I’m still working it out, I just know it’s there on some level because when I look at you, I... Is that too much information?”

Alex was still staring at him like he’d grown another head. Kyle just waited and hoped he would be okay with that. He assumed he would be considering Alex didn’t seem to have a problem with Michael’s bisexuality. Except that confusion slowly slipped into something so close to betrayal that Kyle’s heart sank.

“Are you trying to say that you’re into me?” Alex asked. Kyle slowly nodded and Alex pulled away from him. “So, what, you’ve only been nice to me for the last year because you wanna fuck me?” Kyle’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head.

“What? No, oh my-”

Alex didn’t care to listen, shaking his head and quickly making a beeline for the exit. Kyle quickly followed him all while trying to follow Alex’s thought process. Of all the reactions he’d expected Alex to have at that moment, that wasn’t it.

“Alex! Wait, just talk to me!” Kyle called, following him to his car. “Just let me explain!”

“Explain what? That you’re just one of those people who is an asshole until you want something from me? Because that’s what I’m hearing. I thought you were my friend,” Alex said as he turned to face him. His face was red and Kyle didn’t know if it was the alcohol or the anger.

“No, I swear to God, that’s not why I’m nice to you,” Kyle said, holding his hands up, “I didn’t even know I was into guys until, like, four months ago. Like I said, my percentage for liking men is extremely low. You just happen to be in that section and I didn’t realize until four months ago. You are my friend, I just... Wouldn’t mind also being more than that if you wanted.”

“Four months ago?” Alex repeated, eyeing him skeptically, “Like, four months ago as in that time my dad knocked us out and locked us in a small ass bunker together for 24 hours?”

Kyle grimaced, still keeping his hands up by his head. “Guilty.”

“What the fuck about that day gave you a second sexual awakening? I-I was literally sweating the entire fucking time and covered in dried blood. I was gross.”

“What can I say? I guess I like when you’re gross?” Kyle said, trying to smile but it didn’t really work. Alex scoffed, shaking his head before raking his hands through his hair.

“I’m so confused,” Alex breathed, leaning against his car and covering his eyes. Kyle took a deep breath and tried to order his thoughts. He decided the best way to do it was just start from the beginning.

“Um, I think it was actually when we got out. I had to kinda help you walk and you were leaning on me and then, when we got in the backseat of Isobel’s car, you still leaned on me. You fell sleep on my shoulder and I, I was so scared that if I moved you’d wake up and get away from me. It took me a few hours after that to even realize that what I was feeling when you were leaning against me was sort of how I felt in high school with Liz,” Kyle explained. Alex peaked up at him through his hands. “It wasn’t sexual at first. I just... I kinda realized I loved you in a way I wasn’t supposed to.”

“At first?” Alex asked. Kyle shrugged.

“That I realized a little bit later when we were working on self-defense together. I definitely should’ve realized that earlier because I’ve had, like, x-rated dreams about you, but it never really clicked that that was something I would be legit interested in that until I saw you that day. Sweaty and shirtless and breathing really hard and pouring water over your chest like... Sorry,” Kyle said, rolling his shoulders back as he tried to get back on track, “But once I realized that, I realized I had no idea what to do about that. So I started coming here and, well, pretty much every single queer guy in Roswell is down for a meaningless fuck. I learned a lot, so...”

Alex dropped his hands, still looking semi-conflicted as he stared at him. Kyle waited patiently for him to say something.

“You promise me you weren’t just using me?” Alex asked. Kyle nodded.

“I promise. I would never. And if you’re not interested, I promise we can just go back to acting like this never happened. It’s still early enough in my stupid crush that I can move on without issues if you say you’re not interested,” Kyle explained. Alex nodded slowly. “So, uh... are you? Interested?”

“I don’t know,” Alex huffed, “I’ve never thought about it.”

“Never?” Kyle asked. Alex gave him a look.

“Not, like, since we were kids and I had, like, a dumb little kid crush on you. I kinda haven’t let myself think about it because you’re straight. Or, I thought you were.”

“If it helps, I thought I was too.”

Alex let out a soft laugh, looking at him with those eyes that reminded him why the hell he’d fallen for him in the first place. If only he’d been slightly less good looking or slightly less ridiculously caring and loyal and strong. But then he wouldn’t be Alex.

“Look, I don’t need an answer right now, I know I kinda put you on the spot,” Kyle said, “You can sleep on it or we can talk more or, fuck, you can shut me down right now. Whatever you want, Alex.”

Alex took a deep breath. “How about we go on a date?” Kyle blinked in surprise.

“For real?”

“Yeah,” Alex decided, “Take me out, woo me, see if it’s actually something we could do without it being weird.” Kyle nodded easily.

“Yes. Absolutely.”

“Okay. Then... it’s a date.”

“It’s a date.”

Kyle couldn’t help but smile at him, feeling giddy and already beginning to plan it in his mind. It was going to be fucking great and he was going to sweep him off his feet. Then he was going to put his new skills to use.

“But I think I need to go home now,” Alex said, huffing a laugh.

“Let me get you an uber or something, you’ve been drinking,” Kyle said, already pulling out his phone. Alex smiled and shook his head.

“What a gentleman.”

“That’s not even the beginning,” he said, “I’m going to sweep you off your feet.”

“Can’t wait.”

And, honestly, Kyle couldn’t either.

#kylex #kylex fic #kyle valenti #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #prompts

93 notes · View notes

snickerdoodlecocoa · 3 years

Text

Day 18

(i know it’s been a while! i don’t always have the motivation to write these without a smidgeon of procrastination of things that have a greater level of importance to my future. but now that we’re back in college, hopefully i’ll write more.)

well, here we are. valentine’s day.

do i hate the day? no, not really. i, like most, just don’t love being reminded of painfully alone i am. yes, i’ve got friends who say, “reach out to me! you can always talk to me!” and yet, i don’t. i tend to talk myself out of believing that anyone truly cares for me. my biological family, they have an obligation to love me, but the fact that i can be a disappointment usually overshadows that. my friends from before college, i’m starting to drift away from (except for one and she’s got so much fucking potential and i don’t want to both her and take her away from far more important things). my friends from college? almost all of them are older than me and have friend groups that they were engrained in before they met me- i’m still the annoying freshman that stuck around until it wasn’t weird (or is it still weird?). not to mention, everyone’s graduating. doubt they’ll have time for me anyway, so i might as well let stuff start to fade now.

basically, what i’m trying to say is that every time i want to reach to someone, i don’t, cause i don’t want to be a burden.

it’s odd, when i started this, i wanted it to be a platonic love letter to a friend. i still could do that, but as per usual, things take a downwards turn when i start writing (but my god does it feel good to write again). but let’s give it a try, just for the sake of positivity. of course, this friend doesn’t know about this account (none of my friends do), but if if he ever sees it, i promise i mean every word.

a- i don’t always know what to say to you in the moment. i’ve gotten a lot better than freshman year, but i’m still better with written words than verbal worlds. even now, i’m struggling to write this. i wrote a super long card for your 21st and try to convey how much i love and care for you by being wholesome while texting, but im pretty sure that you, like me, tend to talk yourself out of it. and i know that it doesn’t matter how much i say and write this, but there’s a whole world of people that love you. you being in my life makes it so much better. last semester, i wasn’t in a great headspace. i didn’t have the same level of interaction with people and to put in gen z terminology, i was not passing the mental vibe check. but then i took a risk and asked if you wanted to bake challah with me. you were down, so brought the ingredients over a few days later and all of a sudden, i felt like myself again. the next day, i was counting the hours until i was back in your apartment with you by my side. we could exist in a comfortable silence, something i have with almost nobody else. i spent a couple more evenings at yours and each time, i hated the moment you dropped me off on campus. you say that i’m always welcome over and while i know you mean it, i can’t bring myself to just show up unannounced or even sleep over (also, i’m pretty sure it’s one of those “you can but like maybe don’t” kind of things, but for all i know, i’ve convinced myself of that as well).

then winter break happened. i wanted out of my house, back to campus, back to my friends that felt like home (you). there was a snowstorm set to hit on sunday, the day i was supposed to arrive on campus. my parents were debating if we should delay the drive by a day so it could be safer on the back end for my mom. i selfishly wanted to come up on sunday cause it meant i could come over for the superbowl. it meant that i’d be back in your apartment and back with you.

i guess what the whole point of this is to say that i feel so much like myself when i’m with you. i’m able to actually love myself when i’m with you. my anxiety about “oh god what if i do this wrong” disappears. i don’t know what’s going to happene next year when you move downtown and graduate or when i’ve graduated and we don’t live near each other. part of me is scared that our friendship is built on convience of location and will fall apart when we lose that. i hope it doesn’t- i don’t want to know my life without you. i know you have other friends you can reach out to that you’ve known longer and are more comfortable with than me. but that doesn’t change the fact that i’ll always love and care for you. okay? happy valentines day, a.

#day 18 #friendship #valentines day #platonic love #convenience friendship #mental health #yeah it's mostly that #cause i feel like a burden #all the time and you make me not feel like one #i love you #and i promise it's not a lie

2 notes · View notes

andrewuttaro · 4 years

Text

Hypostatic Thoughts: Why Purgatory is RAD

When I was a Youth Minister I had to come up with a lot of “get to know you” games. They are part of the everyday life of ministry: you find icebreakers and games to get youth comfortable with sharing and eventually learning and forging a relationship with Jesus. One of these icebreaker questions I remember vividly was threefold: What is the craziest thing you’ve ever heard? What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done? What is the craziest thing you believe? I don’t recall my responses to the first two questions, but I remember that icebreaker went before the lesson on the Eucharist and Communion because the Catholic teachings on those are something crazy by most other Christians’ standards.

I do remember my response to the third question: What is the craziest thing you believe? I remember sitting in my office and giving it a good long think. I landed on purgatory. The teaching of Purgatory is canon within Catholic teaching, so I spoke about it for a little bit that day. I’m certain there was a lesson on the Last Things as well and in the Catholic Church no discussion of Heaven and Hell is complete without a part of Purgatory. It’s a sneaky fun topic to talk about. No Catholic teaching is falling out of popular favor quicker than purgatory except maybe celibate priesthood but that is a discussion that deserves a blog post to itself.

I do believe that Purgatory is very important. In fact, I think it’s crazy to believe in the Christian God without a belief in Purgatory. There is a very sharp criticism of Christian faith that is rarely talked about. Why would an all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful God subject his son to crucifixion? Why would a God who claims to be all-loving subject anyone who dies disbelieving in him to eternal damnation and suffering? That God couldn’t possibly be a good God. That God is evil actually. The crucifixion point is a little bit more complex but the traditional Christian retort of “to save our souls” isn’t much of an explanation. This is essentially the Problem of Evil question. To be very clear every Christian denomination believes God is good and that God is just too far beyond the comprehension of human minds to truly understand any of this, but the question remains: How can the God of Christianity be good? My answer: purgatory.

The Catholic Church has maintained an explicit teaching on purgatory since about the tenth century AD. While there are biblical moorings for the teaching, like we discussed in the last Hypostatic Thoughts blog way back in August (The Kingdom Christians don’t want), this one is more implied. Without getting too bogged down in theology, the very acute intellectual flaw in Christianity we just described in the problem of evil is in part taken care of via purgatory. In a way… God doesn’t send anyone to Hell. He doesn’t really send anyone anywhere in terms of the afterlife. The thing about an ever-loving God is that he’s personal. He wants to be with you. After we die, God wants us to be with him. It’s very clarifying to think about the Christian afterlife this way: there isn’t places you go so much as degrees of distance from God.

Before going any further with this let’s talk about the first reason Purgatory is Rad: because of God! Who is God? This question is immense but for the sake of this blog post let’s keep it on point: God is the being whom no greater being can be thought of. Imagine what you think God is: he’s bigger and better than that. That is literally the canon teaching on God. He’s too beyond incredible to comprehend. God is literally too wonderful to be comprehended across Christian theology. That’s why it’s so incredible he’s loving and wants to be with us according to the way the Christian myth is built (when I say myth I’m using the theological usage of the word, not the meaning fake or not real). Once again though, that is another blog for another day. So if God is this wonderful being too great for our minds to comprehend why wouldn’t we want to be with him? Give it a totally non-religious thought for a minute: after you die wouldn’t you want to go to the greatest being in existence? Mind you: this being by such a nature would be the answer to every question and fulfillment of every desire. He’s so wicked rad that to think you want to go anywhere else is kind of missing the point of who he is.

Purgatory, like most religions with one God for that matter, doesn’t work at all if God isn’t a worthy goal. So if God is the worthy goal for us than life can be thought of as getting ready to go be with him. In the parlance of sports, life is training camp. To stick with the sports metaphor: in the teaching of purgatory, purgatory is a practice during the regular season or playoffs. It’s getting ready to be with God after you’ve already entered game-time. This is the second reason Purgatory is rad: you’re not in a gray, limbo zone when you’re there; you’re there training to be… you! That sounds egotistical and millennial AF but in the understanding of who-God-is that we’re working under, God is, in the very being of who he is, the fulfillment of ourselves, the complete satisfaction of our being. In sappy romantic comedy terms: He completes us. We are most ourselves when we’re with God. Getting to heaven to be with God then is like winning the Stanley Cup or the Superbowl to go back to the sports metaphor. Just like winning a championship or an Olympic Gold is the fulfillment of what being an athlete is, so too is getting to heaven the fulfillment of being human. Purgatory is the training ground that gets us to victory circle.

That second reason is A LOT so let’s talk about that some more. If God is the fulfillment of everything we were made to be, and purgatory is more training for that fulfillment, than God is good because he gives us every opportunity to be with him as we need to be. Heaven is the completion of Purgatory in a way, in other words a stop on the way to heaven. So if God doesn’t send people to Hell and purgatory is God giving us every chance possible to be with him than who is in Hell if anyone? That’s a great question that is somewhat contentious in contemporary Christianity. Some thinkers these days will tell you Hell simply doesn’t exist. I’ll tell you personally I don’t know if anyone is there, but I think Hell needs to exist just like Heaven and Purgatory if you believe in the Christian God. There has to be a place for people who just don’t want to. People who may know all this stuff about God but just say no thanks, nonetheless. The third reason purgatory is rad sheds some light on this: Heaven, Purgatory and Hell aren’t exactly what you think they are.

Purgatory is very metal. If you’re into punk rock culture in anyway I don’t see how purgatory isn’t the embodiment of how you feel. The most punk thing about it is the third reason its rad AF: you don’t have to exit one way. In the Christian faith there is free will at every turn. That sentence may sound insane if you’ve ever been annoyed to be dragged to a Church event or join in an awkward blessing before a meal but it’s very much true. Jesus implores us to join him but never forces anyone into his friendship. Yes, Free Will is crucial here and with that in mind it’s time to go really deep. Remember the problem of evil we talked about at the beginning of this article? We can look at people and see victims of circumstance, but it’s also impossible to say real evil doesn’t exist. Evil does exist. But it really only exists as a deprivation. It’s the lack of a thing more than its actually a thing. Evil is a lack thereof, not something unto itself.

If you don’t want to be with God you really don’t have to be. While Hell is often imagined as torturous inferno its better understood as freezing cold. It’s a distance from the warmth of a relationship with God. The Devil himself is imagined in the classic Dante’s inferno as frozen into a lake with his arms crossed in resolve. He made his decision. He wants to be there. Nobody is evil because they’re born that way, people are evil because they lack something whether that be patience, hope, self-love or plain old empathy. That may sound like a pivot back to victimhood but again, it’s very intentional. No one is in Hell who doesn’t want to be there. Let me say that again: nobody is in hell who doesn’t want to be there. Just like the Devil some of us choose in spite of perhaps even the distant sight of the all-wonderful God, to move away from such a being. There is choice in the afterlife too in the Christian world. This is why all of Christian faith is built around redemption. God wants us to make the choice! He gave us Free Will from the literal day one. It’s our choice.

That’s the third and final reason Purgatory is Rad in your humble blogger’s opinion. Purgatory is the most jarring reason the Christian God is good and free will exists. We are given every opportunity to exercise our free will for the purpose of going where we want to go. The evil in our lives that may hold us back from exercising our free will is a deprivation of something else at the absolute worst. Purgatory maybe a pretty wild thing to believe in, even if you consider yourself Christian; but its also pretty essential if you want to believe your God is good.

Thanks for Reading.

#Religion #blog #purgatory #catholic #christian blog #christian #faith

1 note · View note

darlingnisi · 6 years

Text

Celebration Day 2 : VIP Edition

Part 1 Here!

Concert Screening

Part 2 of Show 2 Piano and a Microphone Gala (Shout out to that one time when he looked directly into the camera as he sang something and caused me to slide down in my chair a bit...Professor geeez!)

Iconography Panel Steve Parke Nancy Bundt Terry Gydesen

Nancy Bundt

She did the above photo

Was once offered a job to be art director for Jimmy Hendrix but turned it down because she was in college

First time shooting P was the 1984 birthday concert

There was a FABULOUS picture of Prince in a wide brimmed hat, shirtless, wearing a Pfunk flag around his neck. One arm had a net stocking and the other ripped nylon stocking. This look but a different view of just him with his arms up

Also shout out to the shirtless one that just showed the muscles in his back. Not my era visually, but I can appreciate art.

Terry Gydesen

Terry Gydsen did the pictures in the Sacrifice of Victor Book

Wasn’t a Prince fan before she worked for him

He won her over when he sat at a piano and played a classical sounding piece

Worked as Jesse Jackson’s photographer during his Presidential campaign in 1988

Got the traditional “can you come out and do a shoot tonight” call...she did not live in Minneapolis

Spent a month on the Act II tour in Europe

Was requested to take a picture of him in the mirror. She talked to herself while doing this and Prince thought it was funny

This was to be the original cover of the Sacrifice of Victor book

Steve Parke

This was shot in the NPG Music club

P made people delete pics of him at first when working on digitial, next day would say “can we get that one back?”

Changed his editing to just select ones he liked rather than one he didn’t like.

He asked Steve if he wanted to get in the water for these pics....Steve declined

Their general cadence was “meet down stairs, Prince is bored let’s get some shots.”

On the arboretum pics, they were taking some and heard some rustling in a nearby bush. Prince was ready to take off but Steve said “that guy doesn’t even know who you are! He’s here for the arboretum!”

Below is artwork before it was edited to be art for graffiti bridge. Prince saw and liked it, asked it to be edited to include characters from the movie. The GB version has Ingrid and Morris added, and the girl at the bottom’s face was edited to be Jill Jones. He had to sand out those areas and repaint them.

Q : How did you maintain your personal life while working with P?

Nancy - Took her husband with her on tour for 5 months. He was her assistant (ie held her legs while standing on chairs and other such things.) Back then they had time to be tourists in the cities they were in. Was not allowed to shoot aftershows.

Terry - There wasn’t a personal life. Mostly always on call for P. Was allowed to shoot aftershows. Told story of being by the stage taking pictures and P leaned over to tell her something she couldn’t hear. Eventually understood he was telling her to move around so she did...and got amazing pictures by doing things like climbing on railroad cars.

Steve - Was around all times of the day. Hans (a sound engineer) and him would try to leave and got called back...once they left and saw him driving toward Paisley in his Yellow BMW. Tried to lay low in their car to not be seen. Steve would get phone calls in the middle of the night while he was at home in Baltimore that were to the effect of “So that one line in the credits of that album, can we take this name out and put someone else in?” Generally would be woken out of a deep sleep and would have to call someone back to ask what he wanted again

After the panel was over, we took pictures with Wally.

Dance Panel

Maya Mclean 2005+ Nandy Mclean 2005+ Tomisina Tate (Geneva) 2000-2003

The whole panel was Q&A

Q : Did you have a part in choreography? Tomasina : He asked if she did her own choreography. She generally worked with choreographers and did not come up with her own. He told her “you’ll get broke off...” (meaning he’d pay her more). She learned how to do choreography, lol.

Maya and Nandy : Fatima did some of their early stuff, but they took over from there. They’d show Prince their routines, and he’d make changes as needed after.

Q : What have you done since working with Prince Nandy : Film/TV behind the scenes. Executive produced Breakfast Can Wait with Maya. Did Photography she took this picture among others :

Worked on TV shows (Westworld), working on an Etta James movie (script in progress), is a life coach.

Tomisina : Danced for others. Noted that he really brought her out of her shell. She didn’t sing much and he had her sing background on you got the look one day unexpectedly. Was in different singing groups later and danced for J Lo. Had a baby with her husband (Larenz Tate). Often baked treats for him and later his fellow cast members. Now runs an online bakery.

Maya : Released an album (with Nandy) also in film/tv (production assistant, second AD), also a life coach

Q : How did you meet Prince? Maya/Nandy : Fatima audition. THEIR FIRST PROJECT FOR HIM WAS FILMING A VIDEO FOR INCENSE AND CANDLES!!!! ALERT ESTATE ALERT!!! TROT THAT OUT IMMEDIATELY!!!!

Tomisina : Recieved a phone call to audition for Celebration in 2000. She was the only one there to audition when she arrived. Spent several days just hanging out, playing basketball, etc. She kept asking when she’d audition, he’d say “soon”. One day an hour before one of his Friday parties he said “U ready?” she had to dance for a jam session. Was nervous because she usually needs time to know what songs the schedule, etc. Wasn’t chosen to do the Celebration run but she did the Hitnrun tour.

Q : What did you take away from your time with Prince that you apply to your life?

Maya : Got a 2AM call from P “Hi. Whatever you say is true”. His voice sounded different so she didn’t recognize it. It sounded higher to her and he was out of breath. He said “I’ve been dancing in my mirror.” The message though was that whatever you say manifests so be careful with the words and energy you put out.

Nandy : When they were about to hit the stage for a show he said “I want you to be present”. Message there that thinking too far ahead or thinking about the past causes anxiety that makes you miss out on what you’re experiencing in the moment.

Tomisina : It was a turning point in his life so he was learning a lot. When leaning, he wanted to teach. She was easy going and didn’t like to be told what to do and was like “yeah yeah I get it” or “oh God I can’t take it anymore” Once she got older, a lot of what he’d said started to click. Also nobody called him Prince, just “dude” “dude is coming” “dude is back”. Overall though, she learned that there are NO excuses..and he brings something out of you that you didn’t know you had. (She idolized Cat and Mayte and wondered why he chose her.) He also taught her how to hear and appreciate music differently. (She teared up during this).

Q: Superbowl halftime show...which twin was it? Maya.

Q : What was his touch like?

Maya : She never had a sexual attraction to him except one time when they were in the NPG music club room and he was covering Elvis’s Teddy Bear on piano.

Tomisina : “Ya’ll assume a lot.” She’d just met her future husband when she started working with Prince and was totally infatuated with him. P and Tomisina had a brother/sister relationship and she seemed annoyed about this question. “ I was there for DANCE” eyeroll

They all commented that he had beautiful hands though.

Q : What is the second most joyful memory you have of Prince?

Nandy : His laugh “HAAAAAAAAA” Tomisina : Practical Jokes Maya : “If you and your sisters were dogs, you’d be scottish terriers. If I was a dog, what would I be? AND DON’T SAY CHIHUAHUA!”

Prince on the Big Screen

So have seen this concept a few times now and the first few times were jarring to be honest. (Slightly traumatic the first time October 2016, tbh) but this was really REALLY well done! You know how you’re at a concert but you can’t see well so you look at the screen instead sometimes? It was like that so it was very strange to look at the stage and not see him, as present as his voice sounded. The live band part really added to the experience...to watch a Prince concert without that accompaniment would have seemed incorrect since he was so much about “real music by real musicians”....a point they were sure to call out with him saying this during the intro. They also had a clip of him talking about a certain day he would celebrate...you know the one....

Important news about this though? They will tour it 2019. 10 for 10 would go again, and take anyone who did not get to go to a Prince concert for the shared experience. It’s the closest you’re going to get! For a taste, the concert was said to be a shortened version of a North Carolina show. We’ve seen parts of it like this :

youtube

And here’s the finale of Purple Rain (out of order with the actual setlist)

vimeo

The entire concert was Prince being an absolute professional. He was cool/sexy/smooth and less of his goofy side to me. Had me on my toes like “Yes Professor” obeying every direction he gave us! Lol...

Part 3 here!

#Prince #Prince Celebration 2018 #Purple Homecoming 2018

117 notes · View notes

zendyval · 2 years

Note

And now z is doing a superbowl commercial for squarespace of all things. So a superbowl commercial and another upcoming photoshoot but still no casting news. At this point she's a model who acts on the side cause why does she need to do a magazine photoshoot every month? Im sorry but I dont see any actress that wants to be taken seriously do as many photoshoots and as as she does. U keep saying she makes money for side projects but last I checked people dont get paid for magazine photoshoots, they do them for promotional purposes. Every week its news about one photoshoot or another and never any casting news and then we're shocked when people dont take her seriously as an actress even after winning an Emmy. Its cause shes more like a commodity at this point... a walking ad campaign or billboard. I think it would serve her well to ease off doing so many magazine covers and photoshoots.

It may sound harsh but I genuinely only want the best for her and her career and I'm not seeing where that is happening right now. She spent nearly a whole year filming a show where she's mostly been sidelined for the white characters and somehow shes still clinging to that character and the showrunner for whatever ridiculous reason. At this point it feels like all she is is a BIG NAME in the way that selena gomez is a big name and that's all there is. Also telling people well sTaN SoMeBoDy eLsE is ridiculous because now it seems like u can't voice your opinions. I'm not interested in stanning anybody else and that why I'm voicing my frustration because I want the best for the person I stan

Please just go away. A model who acts on the side despite having had a movie and a tv show come out in the last month. Do you even listen to yourselves? I don't even know what you're talking about re: a photoshoot and I don't particularly care. All sorts of actors do Super Bowl ads all the time.

Nobody ever said she gets paid for photoshoots. She does get paid for her luxury brand deals and I assume she got paid big bucks for her Super Bowl ad.

Also I'm not sure where you are, but even if Z were unhappy with Euphoria, you can't just walk out and leave. She is still under contract. She would still be tied to Euphoria and Sam even if she hated it.

You also have to realize that of course you can voice your frustration, nobody is saying you can’t but "I want the best for the person I stan" really amounts to you want what you think is the best for them and not what they think is the best for them.

Also you can say whatever you want but if it’s my inbox and so if I don’t agree, I’m going to say that too.

0 notes

sadandsoberr · 6 years

Text

Domestic Violence Story **

Please if you are triggered by anything including abuse, self harm, etc please don’t continue

*All names are changed*

Where do I even Start….

I guess it all started when we moved from New York City to New Jersey . I thought so highly of the move. I was going to start at a new school, my old friend went there so I assumed we would hang out and i’d make all new friends and it would be my clean start. I was very wrong. I had no friends at my new school, nobody talked to me and I was more alone than ever. I hated it in New Jersey . I loved the house, loved the area, but felt miserable. Due to being so alone I called up an old friend whom I hadn’t talked to in quite some time due to a fight we got into. Sabrina and myself started talking as if nothing happened and fell into easily hanging out regularly again. One night in Mid January of 2014, Just after my 17th birthday we decided to meet up with Shannon Shannon that night was with numerous people, one of them being Brent. Brent was everything I thought was attractive back then. He dressed cool, talked cool, and had alcohol + drugs that I was more than happy to take. The rest of that night everyone just hung out and had fun. The timeline of this story is all a little fuzzy so exact dates and the order of events may not be 100% accurate but I will try to keep it as close as I can remember.

It is now February and I have been seeing Brent more regularly. Sleeping over, drinking, partying, and had a makeout session on February 1 during the superbowl. I was alone with him on the night of February 5, 2014 when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was over the moon. I’ve never had a real boyfriend before. I went home the next day so happy and eager to see him again. I stopped going to school and only wanted to see Brent. He lived in New York City, drank, was fun- what more could I of asked for? I quickly decided that living in New Jersey wasn’t cutting it for me anymore and packed my bags and left while my father was at work. At first everything was great, until one night.

It is march now & my period is late. I didn’t want to worry Brent so I went out on my own and tried to steal a pregnancy test which came out positive. Having no money and being scared, I told Brent and asked my father to transfer money to buy another test just to make sure. I now know there are clinics which test you for free but I was young and didn’t know about resources. Brent, knowing that I now had money in my account wanted to buy pizza so he told me to get the cheapest one. After buying the test (with two in a pack) Brent was furious that he didn’t get what he wanted, pushed me against the wall in the doorway of our building and began strangling me. This was the first incident. I was so confused. Why did I buy two tests when he wanted food? Whats wrong with me? I automatically blamed myself, went upstairs and begged my father to send more money so Brent could eat.

After this incident it all starts to blur together. Things like that would happen to often I don’t even remember them all. There was an incident in the bathroom where he hit my head against the sink. I came out and it turned into a big fight with me, Sabrina and Brent. We all woke up the night morning with blood everywhere, furniture broken, but nobody spoke about it. Times when he would strangle me to the point I lost my vision and eventually come to lying on the floor with him standing over me with this look. If anyone has ever been in an abusive relationship, they know what look im speaking of. There is no compassion, no love, no safety when staring into those empty eyes. Strangling was Brent’s go to method of abuse. I remember once being strangled and coming to with my dog lying on my lap looking so scared. There were times I had bruises everywhere, where he would be hitting me in front of his friends but nobody spoke up thinking it wasn't their business. Not to mention the verbal abuse I would encounter. Being told i’m no good, im a horrible person, nobody will love me.

One night I remember is when we all went to Niagara. Brent, Sabrina, Mark, and myself. It started off great as usual until Brent started to get upset at me then at Sabrina. I remember fighting in the hotel washroom and he began to strangle me. This is when Sabrina jumped on his back attempting to stop him. My memory jumps to Sabrina being on the bed and Brent flipping the mattress over, hauling her into the air. From there it jumps to me running down the street in Niagara as Sabrina tells me to run and hide. The next morning I was in the hotel room with Brent while Sabrina & Mark stayed in the 24 hour Denny’s. I know there was a point we all were locked out, a point Sabrina climbed over a fence and cut herself, and alot more but like I said, everything's a blur.

One day Brent’s Ex Brook came back into town from Delaware and Brent wanted to see her. She came to our house and the whole time they were attached to each other leaving me to feel vulnerable and helpless. Being upset at the situation I went to shower and made Brent come into the bathroom with me just to make her upset. One day we all got a hotel and Brook was there. She stated that she needed to buy a lighter so Brent went with her, leaving me alone for over an hour. Afterwards We went to my mother's house and I was waiting in the bathroom while Brent kept talking to Brook. I yelled at her telling her to get out and she did- Brent & I walking her of course. I later found out that he cheated on me while looking for the lighter.

We would frequently visit my mother who absolutely adored Brent. She praised him because I loved him, so did she. We would all go out together and have a great night but when we went separate ways it wasn’t as much fun. At this point it must be May 2014 and we are living in a new apartment after being evicted. We are all doing drugs and I was talking and talking and talking. The next morning Brent was furious at me, screaming saying were over. Being over was not an option for me. Where would I live? I couldn’t go back to New Jersey . The whole morning I was in tears crying so hard I couldn't breathe. This lasted the majority of the day. It went in waves where he wasn’t angry then extremely angry. Nothing I said was right. Till this day, I will never know why he was so mad. Living in that apartment lasted a total of 17 days. Brent threw a party which led to us being evicted once again.

Having nowhere to live we decided to stay with my mother. It was a studio apartment with one bed we all shared + the dog. One night near the end of June 2014 Brent’s sister Amanda was throwing an after prom party in a hotel. We all were having a fun time, Brent was extremely intoxicated and everyone went home besides us. Brent fell asleep on the couch and when I went to wake him up he attacked me. I guess I blacked out after that because the next thing I remember is waking up on the bed with blood stained sheets around me. My body was sore and my eyes were hard to open. When I made it to the bathroom I couldn’t believe what I saw in the mirror. I had two black eyes, bruises covering my whole body and a swollen mouth. There was blood throughout my hair, under my nose, my mouth. When Brent woke up he asked me what happened and i told him the last thing I remembered. Amanda later told me that someone came back to the room and heard crying and yelling but couldn’t get inside the hotel room.

After that incident we ended up living with my father for a bit until finding another apartment under a hair salon Mid July 2014. While living there a few occurrences stand out for me. One is where we were screaming at each other and I thought dying would be better than living like this anymore so I attempted to slit my throat. One morning my father promised to send money but only sent half which drove Brent crazy. He threw me on the floor and began stomping on me and kicking my head. I tried to get up over and over but he just continued to stomp or push me forward until I landed on my face. This happened for hours. I told him I would get the money but he didn’t care at this point. Eventually I convinced Brent to let me go switch the laundry from the place down the street and ran as fast as I could onto the bus. While Sitting on the bus his sister called me saying how horrible of a person I am for leaving and making him stuck with the laundry. She called me so many terrible things and convinced me I’m horrible if I don’t return so I did. As for what happened the rest of the day, I don’t know.

That was another house we didn’t stay at long. Brent convinced himself that moving to Florida would be a better idea and we packed up and left once again. I felt like I couldn’t breathe without him. That was the longest week of my life without a doubt. I sold my laptop and anything else I could find, begged my sister for money and flew out to Florida. I convinced myself I could go to school there and we will live happily ever after but issues arose with Brent’s father, fights broke out between us, and we both flew back to New York City mid September 2014.

We stayed with my father at this point until late October 2014 until we moved into our Dufferin apartment. It was gross and small. While living here I remember locking myself in the bathroom terrified of Brent, being strangled on the bed, having to pee into an empty liquor bottle because he wouldn’t let me use the washroom. Any name you can be called, he called me and any bit of self worth I had was taken from me, yet I couldn’t live without him. Isn’t that how it always is though? They convince you that you are nothing without them.

March 2015 Brent was arrested for assaulting a transit driver and having a concealed weapon. He spent a week in jail for this and my father was the one who bailed him out. We went to go see Tyler a few weeks after he was out and that night is when I was dragged by my hair on the sidewalk, pushed onto the bus and hit across the face, leaving my body on the bus floor. Tyler told the bus driver to call the police but she just told Brent to stop. Another witness who wasn’t phased by me being hurt.

It’s hard trying to piece together the timeline for when these happened. I am getting to the point where I cannot give you a specific month for these occurrences. I know there was a time when he strangled me at my mother’s house, another time we got into an argument at my fathers which left me with a chipped tooth from being punched in the mouth with a ring on, a fight that left me so vulnerable I sliced my leg open with a pair of scissors which resulted in 25 stitches. Being strangled up against a door with a key lock, sliding down to free myself and getting a cut from shoulder to hip across my back which left me with a scar, kissing which led to Brent biting down super hard and leaving me with a hole right above my chin, being strangled in the washroom in New Jesey , being pressed between the door and wall until I couldn’t breathe, should I go on?

December 2015 we were living in Brooklyn and were having a pretty ok night. We decided to have sex and during it Brent looked down at me and said your going to die tonight and began strangling me. I somehow got out of his hold and ran to the washroom. He came to say sorry and I got into the bedroom and locked the door. He banged and banged on it for an hour until it was knocked down. The next morning when the people upstairs asked what had happened, Brent explained that I fell asleep with it locked. Silly me.

January 2016 Brent moved away to Florida for good and I moved out on my own. This was the end of our relationship. Although I kept in contact with him and we spoke daily we agreed not to date. July 2016 was the final time he hurt me. I went to visit him in Florida and the whole time he was rude to me because we weren’t together and he felt hurt. I booked my plane ticket home because I couldn’t deal with how he was treating me. When he found out I was leaving he pushed me into the closet and strangled me until I lost vision. His dad came running in and I was crying. I got on the plane the night day and haven’t seen him since.

Although we spoke on the phone I never saw him again. It took me a very long time to cut all strings with him and move on. I know people are thinking “ why would you stay for so long?” and honestly, I can’t give a simple answer for that. I didn’t want to live with my father, I wanted to be loved. He convinced me that nobody would ever love me and I would be alone without him. He made sure I was dependent on him and that I couldn’t be on my own. He took me to places and we had a great time. I thought that I was at fault. If I didn’t say that I wouldn’t of got hurt.

It has taken me over two years since Brent leaving to be able to even speak about what happened during our relationship. I still flinch if someone moves to fast, and cry if someone raises their voice towards me. I am relearning my worth and to be honest, I will always have a piece of doubt in me because of him. I will always think back and wonder how it could of been better, what I did, why was I so hard to love. Why didn’t this happen to other girls ? I must be the issue. My mother passed away while we were together and I think somewhere within me held on to Brent because he knew her. How could I be with someone who didn’t know my mom?

I now have an amazing boyfriend who bends over backwards for me. He is my sunshine on all of my cloudy days and I am grateful that he loves me. I convinced myself I wasn’t capable of being loved. I did a lot of bad things towards myself physically & emotionally. I will never be who I was before this and I’m learning that it's okay. I have to grow from my experiences and don’t think any less of myself.

Other times stuff happened out of Timeline

* One night we are at his friend Tyler’s house and just like always a fight starts. I was pushed down the stairs and when I came back inside even his friend John said he saw the look on his face. The empty eyes look. The next morning were outside screaming and fighting and he pushes me down the front stairs again and starts stepping on me. A neighbour witnessed this and called the police. When they showed up I freaked out saying don’t take him from me. This resulted in a restraining order, anger management courses and many court dates. Even that wasn’t enough to keep us apart. I was going to marry him, I was sure of it.

Punched me in the face with his ring on and chipped my teeth

#domestic abuse #domestic violence #abuse #emotional abuse #metoo

1 note · View note

pandemicspring · 3 years

Text

Things got really bad into December. The US peaked into January at a 7 day average of 253,000 new cases a day. For over a month now we've been riding a wave of deaths of over 3,000 a day. Michigan peaked at 7,000 cases a day and 128 deaths a day.

The vaccines are on the move. Slowly, but it is happening. In michigan they approximate that around 6% of adults have received both doses of the vaccine. There's been around 1.8 million doses delivered total. I read today that they've covered around 35% of people over 65.

Our school did open for winter quarter. They've had 26 cases total, but those were all in the first few weeks so I suppose things are going okay. I haven't been back to my Presidents Student Ambassador meetings ever since I talked to the president about how terrible and lonely everything is and that we're deep in a pandemic and he just thanked us for trucking along. I don't want to go anymore.

I really miss seeing people. Things have gotten difficult in our house in the ways that you would expect when 4 people only see each other for 7 weeks. We can go on masked walks with other people, but that's only true so long as people are willing to go out into the cold. Have I mentioned it's cold now? February cold in the single digits and there's like over 2 feet of snow outside. I have a pair of snow pants and some boots though and I use those to go walking still. I found the boots in the trash last summer when we were helping move people out of their dorms.

I miss my family the most. My 15 year old little brother is missing social life but is actually doing really well in online school. Pretty much everybody in my family is done with any type of covid safe measures they might have one point adopted. It's been really hard not seeing them at all because they don't go out in the cold. I only see them very briefly if they drop things off.

I've been doing online grad school interviews. I don't have any hope of returning to in person schooling before I finish undergrad, but I suppose grad school might be in person next year. I got into the UW-Madison Genetics program. I did a good job on my interview. I put a sheet up on the wall behind me and wore a white button up and black tie. Sweatpants because nobody could see my pants. It was cold in my room to be zooming up here for hours at a time. A housemate and I visited Madison Wisconsin anyways by renting a car and an air bnb and walking around for a few days and that was nice. We'd originally planned a much larger road trip for December but had to cancel because covid got so bad.

I'm doing my SIP this quarter but in all honesty, this is the quarter when I've wanted to die the most since probably my freshman year of college. I just wake up and I don't want to be alive every day. That's made it really hard to complete my school work. We know how to cope though. Just a little more difficult in these times. I don't mean to be ungrateful. I know I'm so beyond blessed to be alive and have a safe place to live. I've just been sad.

There's been talk about opening our house up to another house that's equally covid safe. but honestly, I don't trust any other whole house and also I don't feel ready to socialize with people. I just don't. I feel afraid. It might be a trauma response from this whole pandemic thing, it might be justified. idk. it doesn't matter. it just is.

I had my birthday finally on February 8th. The last of us to have my birthday in quarantine. The first of us to turn 22. It was funny because I usually have a huge party for my birthday. My friends put a lot of effort into making it beautiful though and it was. The superbowl was the day before and though we wouldn't have watched it any other year, we did this year because at this point what else is there to do. There was a lot of stupid commercials about how essential workers are heros. it doesn't make sense.

The first relief check arrived last April. The second I got in January I think. The first was $2000 the second was $600. Works fine enough for me but I know there's so many people who don't have what they need. Texas froze and there’s people dying because they have no heat or electricity. The government hasn’t been trying to even mask that they care for a long time. My sister called me the other day to tell me we have to be prepared because soon enough things will get bad here too. That’s true. What’s also true is that I’m tired. so tired and this is all so stupid.

#good morning

0 notes

packernet · 4 years

Photo

New Post has been published on https://www.packernet.com/blog/2020/01/17/the-nfl-isnt-rigged-were-just-better-than-you/

The NFL Isn't Rigged, We're Just Better Than You

Today’s episode of the Packernet Podcast looks at some news and notes, Shrine practice news, and some of the nonsense being spewed on the Twitters.

Transcript

8s – 1m 8s

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome once again to packernet podcast. I am your host at a resident panelist. That’s always Ryan Schlitz. Check it out online packernet.com. Find me on Twitter Pack underscore data. So today, we’ve got a good amount of stuff to talk about since we clear the board yesterday will follow the normal or today of getting the news and notes. She kind of stuff out of the way first and then getting to the juicy stuff after so there is a little bit of potential free agency news will get to injury news for the Packers and 49ers couple more meetings for the Green Bay Packers at The Shrine Bowl. We’ll talk about those couple of characters had some questions in the Facebook group that I was able to answer and then finally and again, this is a lot so I don’t know if we’re going to get through all of it, but the 49ers fans have been getting a little chippy and also had a Bears fan kind of pop off a little bit and that kind of went a little crazy. So

1m 8s – 2m 8s

Do you know why a big part of the reason I’m able to have a podcast cuz people don’t do the simple stuff like Googling it makes my job so easy because I just walk around and there’s this massive fist fight and I walk up and I’m like well, well what was going on here fellows and they’re like, well, he said this and I think this is what I think this has anybody looked it up and you look kind of threw their information like well, I wonder if there’s some information. Let me Google it. I’ll look here’s information that neither person seems to be bringing up in this argument look through the comments. Nobody’s mentioning. This number was mentioning this nobody looked it up. Nobody 74 comments plus the original fight. Not one person has Googled it. I’m so happy. Thank you so much. It just it just it makes it I’m serious. It makes me so happy. It’s what we call in the industry job security cuz as long as people start screaming about their feels I’m going to be

2m 8s – 2m 10s

how to do this in perpetuity

2m 11s – 3m 11s

There ain’t no end in sight. So by all means please whatever you do. Don’t Google anything. Let me be the ultimate Arbiter of all things. I let me be Google. If you ever have a thought don’t think let me just look it up just think what would pack daddy say and then ask me I’ll Google it and I’ll get the answer and then I’ll sound like a genius. I figured I’d take that route rather than just being condescending. I don’t think it’s pretty good. Right? I mean I was a little condescending but it wasn’t it was like indirectly condescending to baffling though. I don’t know. I had a tweet yesterday that you know, I don’t usually get a lot of traction on Twitter, but if you know, like several hundred retweets pay got the point. I literally do deleted the Tweet cuz I felt bad for the guy for the Bears guy who said something dumb and I like smack them with, you know Google and then I was like several hundred likes and retweets don’t like. Alright. Listen now, it’s just now I just feel bad. Let’s stop cuz that’s that’s the guy I am I’m all about Twitter until something starts to go viral and then I’m like, nope. Delete.

3m 11s – 4m 9s

Not doing this viral stuff. That’s the opposite of what you’re supposed to do, but I don’t care and I understand he’s a Bears fan and he deserved it. But at some point so I can write he gets it. He’s been kicked enough delete. So anyways another great resource by the way for information is the Packer that podcast Facebook groups and make sure you get in there people not afraid to give you their opinion sometimes rudely. So so if you’re into that not most of the time but it occasionally they’ll grow on you just get in there and ask question also packing a podcast Facebook page. So she would like over there something else. That’s cool. And I don’t know how long it’s going to continue but I found a very very cool way to get this these podcast transcribe and that has me so unbelievably excited. I can’t even tell you so as long as I’m able to do what I’m going to do everything I can to trim transcribe all 668 podcast living I deliberately didn’t tell anyone that episode 666 was a few days ago.

4m 10s – 4m 20s

Didn’t want anybody not listening cuz they’re superstitious but I’m going to get them all transcribed why I want the ability to look up stuff. I’ve said in the past go find those clips and be like, here’s what I said.

4m 21s – 5m 21s

Four and a half months ago super excited about that. If you want an example of that. I just posted an article on packernet.com. You can find it. It just has packing a podcast. It was from 2 days ago and there’s a way you can listen to it and then there’s the whole transcription right there. So you’ll actually be able to kind of do that not quite as easily, but if there’s something that I said if I do this and put it all on Packer now, you can say I remember he said this this one time you can search it on packernet and maybe it’ll come up and you’ll find the episode. I don’t know. I just I’m excited about it and I can tell him extra Ramsey today and I apologize what else patreon.com underscored adding a special. Thank you to Quinton for jumping on board with that. Remember I am doing a giveaway at the end of the month. So if you jump in or or give in anyway, $1 is 1 in to be able to go into the packet, I podcast store and take whatever you want one thing only but whatever you want otherwise iTunes 5 * iTunes review or sit review or whatever kind of review would be very greatly appreciated.

5m 21s – 6m 7s

And again, if you’re listening to this podcast look at your phone or whatever device you have if it does not say packernet podcast, please go find the pack and a podcast And subscribe to it. That would help me very much and lastly regardless of what happened Sunday regardless of what happens in the Super Bowl if we win on Sunday, I would just like to encourage you to please stick around because the podcast doesn’t end and the NFL season does not end by the way right after the Superbowl and I promise we’re not going to spend a lot of time on it will spend a little bit of time talking about it, which is probably not good for the XFL because they should be kind of typing this up. You got like 3 weeks dude. How does mr. Hype man? Jim McMahon not know how to Hype up the XFL. I don’t know. I haven’t seen it but the draft

6m 8s – 6m 13s

Free agency all kinds of goody. Anyways, that’s it. Let’s take a break and get a lot of stuff to get through.

6m 15s – 7m 14s

Folks I want to tell you once again about omax health. If you want to get rid of nagging muscle and joint pain immediately while providing long lasting recovery. You’ve got to try the natural breakthrough pain relief solution. Cryofreeze CBD roll-on develop Biomax Health. This is a non-prescription triple-action pain relief roll on its specially formulated to block pain receptors reduce inflammation improve muscle and joint flexibility. And the best part of all is that it’s 100% natural CBD powered remedy that works his magic within 10 minutes of application and the relief last up to eight hours which is much longer than over-the-counter products. If you’re still not sold, I can tell you pro athletes such a PGA pro golfer Kyle Stanley uses cryofreeze CBD to recover both on and off the course and just go check out the product reviews. They’ve got 95% five star reviews page after page customer saying that they’ve tried everything and omax cryofreeze is so good. They’re not buying it for their family and friends to innomax health is offer.

7m 14s – 8m 14s

My listeners 20% off a full bottle of cryo freeze CBD pain relief roll on plus free shipping the discount also apply for any product on the entire site. So just go to omax health.com today and enter promo code overtime that Oma X health.com and enter code overtime to get 20% off cryofreeze and anything site-wide and as I’ve been telling you all this winter hasn’t been that bad. If you’re living up by me. It just got kind of bad everyday at lunch. I take walks yesterday hurt. It’s starting to get that point where the air just hurts also hurts when you slip and fall trying to get into your car. It’s bad enough. The air is hurting you. Now, you got the ground and your car when your legs smash into him hurting you is just everything just hurts and winter but you know what I did as I was laying there on my back under my car. I was daydreaming about baseball 75 degree weather birds chirping children laughing buzzers Bussey.

8m 15s – 9m 15s

I’m sorry, that was a low blow but really it’s just it’s it’s the ultimate just relax kind of vacation as much as I love the whole Disney thing and and the go go go theme park stuff. Just get out somewhere where it’s peaceful and you can relax just beautiful outdoor scenery baseball music great food fresh air and air that doesn’t hurt your face. If any of that sound appealing to you. I would encourage you to at least check out visit arizona.com spring training and see if it appeals to you. All right, so we’ll start from least important to most important number one. It is basically and it kind of was a foregone conclusion already, but apparently, you know that the other cool thing about stuff like the shrine game isn’t just the appeal to the draft. It’s the collection of media members and Scouts and everything else and you get certain people next to certain people and rumors start this world when you get some cool fun information apparently both sides.

9m 15s – 10m 15s

Both Le’Veon Bell and the Jets have come to the conclusion that it would be better off if Le’Veon Bell left. So it’s basically done and I get we kind of had a feeling that at the very least the Jets head coach didn’t want and apparently the Jets organization has back their coach and Le’Veon Bell has kind of come to the conclusion as his agent that they don’t want to be there anymore. So that’s something to watch out for now, you know, I don’t think this is going to impact the Packers directly in terms of him coming to Green Bay. That would be silly got a massive contract. The question is where is he going? And is it going to negatively affect us? Cuz the fact of the matter is Le’Veon Bell going to the judge is a good thing because the Jets are far away and we never really see them. Now. The great thing about Le’Veon Bell is he has a mass of contract so that the general thinking is if you’ve got a team with a very expensive quarterback and or a very expensive pass-rusher, you probably not going to want to pay a ton of money for a running back. So if we just thinking of C North we can rule out the pack

10m 15s – 11m 15s

Hours for the most part is that silly and we do have a very expensive quarterback in a fairly expensive pass-rusher. But I mean, you know, not that expensive Khalil Mack what two years ago set the market at like 25 million siderius got 17, but still when you when you couple the two it’s expensive the Minnesota Vikings unless they decide I mean it it just don’t have much money and the end and from what I’m hearing and we’re going to get into it. They’re kind of to the point now where they’re starting to look at cap casualties and bringing on guys like levy on Bell probably wouldn’t be that beneficial cuz they pay a ton of money to Kirk Cousins and there’s not a lot of wiggle room unless they extending which could happen if they extend him essentially they could chop up this fully guaranteed say offer him something that’s a little more flexible, which I’m assuming they could write Kirk Cousins just want a contract of some kind and the Vikings are kind of on the fence. Anyway, I don’t know. I just I don’t think that’s going to make it and they don’t need it right the light.

11m 15s – 12m 15s

Potentially could but they’ve got a guy that they like they have a fairly expensive quarterback. Although who knows what the future holds they’re the only team that maybe semi would make sense of the Bears or the Bears contract situation isn’t very good either and they have Khalil Mack so cuti end up on a team that we end up playing that could hurt us possibly. I don’t think he comes to the NFC North and that’s kind of the only thing I care about I’d like him to stay with the Jets cuz I get there just nothing team and Le’Veon Bell’s career is just going to not going to die there which you know, I don’t wish anything bad on Le’Veon Bell, but you know Packers come first, I’m sorry. He’s making money. That’s ultimately the goal. Right? So he’ll be fine. He’s out in New York is got a bunch of money life is good. He’s not bothering us but he’s probably going to be on the Move will see where he ends up and no he’s not coming to Green Bay the other things by the way to keep in mind is this is a pretty loaded running back draft class. So the Jets have a really tough sell. Here’s this running back who decided that he’s not going to stay with the Steelers win.

12m 15s – 13m 15s

Whether or not that was his fault that it does matter point is that’s going to appeal to not many people then he came here and didn’t produce which could be our fault but it’s still another Mark against him and he has a mass of contract and he’s getting older for a position where you have a very limited shelf-life and there’s a lot of options and running backs typically are cheap. I just I don’t know how you sell Le’Veon Bell. I just don’t it’s got to be a really bad team with a no running back situation in a ton of money and I will explore that a little further. But at this point it’s not that important something that is a little bit more important. It was reported yesterday and end in it. I understand this is one of those things where a columnist and we see this all the time in Green Bay were a writer for the Packers will say I’m speculating that this will happen and then it gets blown up all over the Internet saying this is going to happen right and insiders. It’s not an Insider. It’s just a reporter was going on around here is three things that might happen in the offseason. But anyways, there is a growing belief that the

13m 15s – 14m 15s

Kings after this you will let Riley reiff walk. I’ll be honest that would surprise me a little bit not here sort of the the problem and it’s a problem that a lot of teams have faced in a lot of positions. I think I talked about it yesterday at quarterback. Although I think it was probably at work. So you didn’t hear me say the problem that a lot of teams have is when you get to that point where you’re not worth the money, but we can’t afford to not have you in the Vikings have built a nice little reputation of retaining their guys and being willing to overpay for guys just because we want to keep our guys and the fact of the matter is, you know, if you look at PFF grades Riley reiff might not be the best left tackle, but Riley reiff and Brian O’Neill on the offensive line the left and right tackle are the only guys that grated basically in the seventies, which would me good night and I understand grades especially offensive line people don’t care, but I’m just letting you know the PFF scouting Department if you will has has determined that first of all, the offensive line has somewhat improved, but the only really good offensive linemen are they left?

14m 15s – 15m 14s

Right tackle if you lose your left tackle, you kind of start back at Ground Zero meaning you have to draft a tackle like have two or possibly find somebody in free agency but to find somebody better than Riley reiff for less than the 10 million dollars you have to pay him is basically impossible. So I am just going to go out on a limb and although you know, I would assume this is from the Saint Paul Pioneer Press Mizu mean that they are following this closer probably have maybe possibly some inside information. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that’s not true. Now the way that they phrase this they did this is from Rotoworld said unsurprisingly reefer made one of the least worst left tackles in 2019. I mean again, he’s not great but League’s worst when I guess if there’s only 32, we could be a little loosey-goosey with that phrase PFF greater than as the 30th best tackle in football, which you figure there’s sixty four if you include left and right plus there’s been some guys coming in and out. He’s given up five sacks this year, which isn’t that bad. Brian block is given

15m 15s – 16m 14s

4 by carries give enough to but I mean, that’s bakhtiari. I mean total pressures 25 total pressure is really really low. That’s really low crime blog has given up 26 David bakhtiari is going to 35 pressure. So the sack percentage might be a little bit high as far as total pressure is he does not allow a lot of people to get the cousin he does have eight penalties which is fairly high but bakhtiar, he’s got 11, I mean statistically he’s not that bad. He’s not a very good run-blocker, but nobody is I should say nobody but it’s and it’s a rare quality of amongst offensive lineman in 2020 2019. He’s just he’s not that bad and they look the fact of the matter is 10 million-dollar as much as you might not want to play it for pay it for a guy that’s you know, 30th overall getting a really good tackles hard in the Vikings above it more than anyone maybe except for Seattle should realize how hard it is to acquire a good offense of line. If I’m the Vikings I’m paying Riley reiff the 10 million dollars to keep a and I’m going to work on the interior a little bit, but I hope they’re right because if they lose their

16m 15s – 17m 14s

Tackle, their offensive line is going backwards, even if they nail the first round pick and get a really good one then basically they had to use up a first-round pick just to upgrade their left tackle a little bit. And what is he going to give up three sacks instead of 5 I doubted a rookie left tackle. I doubt it. So, you know by all means going to get rid of them Vikings fans really don’t like their their offensive lineup notice. There’s a lot I can tell you they will but they they think they’ve got the best running back of the VIP quarterback. They are all about the man you get him started on that offensive line and they are real low, maybe not so much Garrett Bradbury because everyone’s excited about the rookies, but specially Riley reforzar, they just despise the guy that’s really weird. But again, that’s fine. Go ahead and call him looking at the injury report. It looks like both teams are pretty much up to full strength as of Wednesday. You had Jimmy Graham and Ryan Grant not practicing for personal reasons. It’ll veteran rest for Jimmy. You had something personal for Ryan Grant otherwise Geronimo

17m 15s – 18m 14s

It was sick as of yesterday though. Everybody was full or limited Preston has limited with an ankle injury, which could be a problem and he’s going to play but it’s something to monitor marcedes Lewis. Just getting that veteran. Allen Lazard is limited with an ankle also. But again, he’s going to play Jimmy just limited to visit vet veteran rest. Can he still resting that back a little bit but we already know he’s going to play play the last time you can play again and then for San Francisco, they did have Dee Ford and George Kittle not practice it Dee Ford is limited. He’s got a quadricep hamstring issues so that they’re just keeping them he’s practicing but he’s limited otherwise Kwon Alexander George Kittles back to full participation Kwon Alexander’s limited with a package you but I’m sure he’s going to be fine. So basically it looks like both teams pending any illnesses or injuries, which by the way it says Geronimo has an illness just get him out. I’m serious. Send him to California now just get him out away from everybody. I don’t want him getting people said we we we I’m dead serious about it. We not sending them to California, but we played with

18m 14s – 19m 14s

Right tackle last week because he got to keep caught a sickness that was going around quarantine, Geronimo Allison get him away from everybody. I don’t need Aaron Rodgers get in this horrible 24-hour flu on Sunday. I’m not even kind of kidding if if Geronimo sick lock him away somewhere until he’s feeling better and then go pressure wash steam clean shampoo the carpet just suck every germ out of the air that you can the multi multi multimillion-dollar operation. Keep the guys healthy, please and thank you. But otherwise he added it doesn’t look like there’s going to be any real big changes going on here. Just I guess. I think his full strength, which is probably the way it should be which is probably part of the reason Matt on Twitter ask me a question about why the line hasn’t move it was at 75 or 7.575 my goodness. Why isn’t a move it it it might have a lot to do with this. Nothing’s changing. You know that they’ve got a lot of information.

19m 14s – 20m 14s

They plugged it into their Vegas super computer came up with 7.5 and in really they’re just kind of waiting on any kind of changes shifts and Amelie’s illness injury and everybody just seems fine. So, you know, if there’s nothing that’s change does no super big reason the line should move by the way man. I don’t know how I missed your last four messages. I didn’t have never I’m just looking at it now, like what? How did I miss that? Don’t even know what you’re referring to sounds bad though. Yeah, that’s that’s that’s kind of all I’ve got that goes out of say he’s insulted by the line in and I wasn’t planning on talking about it now, but since we’re talking about it, let’s let’s bring it up now. So yeah injuries. Nobody’s injured Todd in the Facebook group asked I’m wondering if there’s ever been a 14 and 3 team starting as a touchdown Underdog in NFL playoff history. Well found an answer to that. So let me start by saying there was the last time there was this big of an underdog in the NFC Championship. It was Green Bay Seattle Seattle in this was the 2014 2015 season was

20m 14s – 21m 14s

8 1/2 Point favorite over Green Bay Seattle won that game 2822 in overtime. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you how that game went. But that was the last time we’ve seen this big of an underdog and it was the Green Bay Packers interesting ly enough the time before that there was this big of an underdog it was packers-giants except it was the Giants. So the last three times in the NFC championship game that there has been an underdog of 7 and 1/2 points or more at is involved the Green Bay Packer twice against the Packers once in the Packers favored to answer your question. Neither of these teams were fourteen when teams going into the game the Giants be underdogs were let’s see what they were 13 Winton has been several 13 win. So they they were 10 and 6, but they beat the Buccaneers and the Cowboys. So I guess they were 12 wins in ended up being didn’t get the 14 weeks until they beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl. Let’s put it that way, but they were at 12 winning team and eight point dogs the Packers when they were 8 point underdogs against Seattle worth

21m 14s – 22m 14s

13 winds so they were quite fourteen, but it was kind of talking about the same thing. So basically the last time this has happened the Packers were 13 4/8 Point underdogs against the Seattle Seahawk the time before that you want to hear something super egregious. There was a 12 win Tampa Bay Buccaneers team. They were 14 and 1/2 Point underdogs to the St. Louis Ram every single one of these favors one with the exception of the Green Bay Packers being a point favorites against the giant the giant slot or one that game. I don’t know not looking over at the AFC or the more massive lines against San Diego is a 13 wind team back in 2007. The New England Patriots were 14-point favorite New England did go on to win not by 14, but they won but the only team I can find that had at least 14 wins, and I’m only going back to 2000 and you said by a touchdown cuz even though the line 7 and 1/2. I’m going by your standard, which is 7.40.

22m 14s – 23m 10s

Wins and was a seven-point underdog was the 1999 Tennessee Titans the end of the season 13 and 3 then they went on to beat the bills and the cold and were 15 and 3 going up against the Jacksonville Jaguars. Jacksonville was 7 point favorites in that game. By the way, they lost that game 33 to 14 what other kind of close one the 12:00 and 5 New England Patriots were ten point underdogs to the Pittsburgh Steeler. Not only do they beat the Pittsburgh Steelers 2417. They won the Super Bowl that year. So there you go. That’s what I found. It is fairly rare. It’s one of the few times that it’s really ever happened for a 14 or greater team. Again, the only one I could find since 2000 and we’re talkin about the 99 to 2000 season was Tennessee at Jackson Hennigan. Tennessee went on to. Ali beat Jacksonville. Would absolutely destroy them. So, there you go.

23m 11s – 24m 11s

I also forgot to add after the injury thing. Apparently according to Matt LaFleur. Raven Greene is looking a lot better this week. The Packers are going to give it a couple more days to see how he’s doing. But they do have an open spot on the roster have got 52 guys currently. So they’re they’re leaving a spot open in hopes that he can come back and play I’m always a little skeptical when somebody’s been away this long a special were talking about an offense and a defense that’s been really clicking and in the biggest part of their success comes from things like communication and just really understanding the scheme and all this kind of stuff. I’m sure Raven Greene has been in the meeting rooms and all that but it did that comes with time but you know, they really like Raven Greene. I think I’ve said before Mike Pettine I think is beyond enamored with Raven Greene. He seems to really really like the guy so I think if he’s he’s ready to go they’ll put him in at least situationally, but that’s going to be a wait-and-see thing and it’ll be a couple more days. Probably not today. Maybe tomorrow we’ll get more official word on whether or not he’s going to be activated and then I say

24m 11s – 25m 11s

Do one more thing will look at the shrine. MTG Packers have met with two other prospects. They met with another quarterback this time Princeton quarterback Kevin Davidson 6ft for 2:25. So again, another guy that’s just really really big through for 20 touchdowns set a School record was 7 scoring passes against the Bucknell probably one of the best small-school guys, which kind of makes sense right again of the primary reason that you meet with these guy is to get more information when you’re a small school guy maybe one of the things are doing is you’re trying to understand gauge him mentally, right? Because it’s a massive leap from the mental processing of the college game to the pro was especially when you’re a smaller School quarterback. It’s an even bigger early. So they met with the second time. They met with a quarterback now, so perhaps what they are doing is looking at something they’ve done a lot which is late-round undrafted free agent quarterback trying to find that diamond in the rough quarterback to taysom Hill if you will something that they do a lot

25m 11s – 26m 11s

Do you want to hit on it? And he’s really doing his homework. That’s not to say they’re not going to do a quarterback in the first couple days of the draft. But more than likely again there doing their homework on sort of the later rounds to undrafted type quarterback. Probably looking to refresh our backup roster. Otherwise, they met with Washington State Cougars wide receiver, Desmond Patton, six-foot-four 228. So seems to fit the mold of what the Packers like it wide receiver big tight end looking dude. He was at Washington state with Mike Leach so they had an Air Raid Offense 48 reception 689 yards seven touchdowns this past season through 11 game, but in all for his size of running around to 458 blazing speed, but again, when you’re built like a kind of in between the wide receiver tight end frame in your that big 458 isn’t that bad? Remember davantes like a 455 got which after all these years. He’s probably around four five eight. Now another guy that’s expected to be an undrafted free agent so I can just do Jill due diligence right you go.

26m 11s – 26m 33s

Do this kind of stop? This is something that Ted Thompson by the way was the master up really struggled in the early round, especially the first round I should say, but you get into those later rounds and undrafted free agents and Ted Thompson did a really good job. It just seems like they’re doing a lot of their due diligence here. We take our final break and then we’ll get into some of the more I want to see controversial but argumentative type things.

26m 34s – 27m 34s

Guys, if you’re looking for comfortable clothes that are high-end but also want a very easy shopping experience mackweldon.com is probably the place to go extremely comfortable underwear socks shirt under shirts hoodie sweatpants, totes scarves hats and gloves and everything else that you can think of that you’re probably ever going to wear the quality of the fabric including the technology such as using the silver infusion to eliminate odor just takes the clothing to the next level not only does the underwear socks shirts and what not look good, but they perform well too and remember because you’re listening to this podcast Mack Weldon is still going to offer you the 20% off discount for your first order you want to take advantage of this because it’s not going to last very much longer. So visit mackweldon.com enter promo code overtime against 20% off your first order just enter promo code over time when you visit mackweldon.com doesn’t cost you anything to go visit the website and remember because they want you to become

27m 34s – 27m 42s

If you don’t like your first pair of underwear, you get to keep it the still refund you no questions asked mackweldon.com use promo code overtime for 20% off your first order.

27m 43s – 28m 43s

So I had another question from Mr. Ludlow on Twitter and I don’t really have a ton of insights or thoughts behind the information. But since I did the work I figured I’d relay the information to you as well. The question was essentially how often have the Packers lead for the entire game this year until I went looked at it. Here’s what I came up with it in the bottom line is the Packers have had the lead a lot in for a lot of games. They took the lead and never lost it so here is the season and what took place during that sees versus the Bears the Packers trailed three to nothing in the first quarter after that. They took the lead and never lost it against the Vikings. The Packers had to leave the entire game against the Broncos. The Packers had to leave the entire game against the Eagles the Packers went up 13-7 lost the lead at the end of the second quarter got back to at i-27 227 and then lost the lead and lost the game against Dallas. The Packers had to leave the entire game against the Lions hilariously. This happened in both game.

28m 43s – 29m 43s

Packers didn’t have a lead until they were two seconds left in the game. And the other game it was 3 seconds. So in both games combined the Packers had to leave for 5 seconds against the Raiders Oakland lead for eight minutes in the second quarter, but never regained it. So that’s it that 8 minutes of a lead and aside from that. It was a Packers all the way against the Chiefs. The Chiefs did Leaves lead 17 to 14 in the second quarter, but lost that lead at the end of the third and never regained it against the Chargers the Packers were never even close to having a lie. That was just a ridiculous blowout against the Panthers the Panthers lead until the 9-minute mark in the second quarter Packers went up 14 10 in the Panthers never regained lead 49ers game again, they never were close to getting Elite than the Giants the Packers let the whole game the Redskins the Packers let the whole game the Bears the Packers or the whole game against the Vikings the Packers took the lead was two minutes left in the third and just began to pull away from there. And then again the Lions you had the three seconds against the Seahawks Packers led the entire game some of these games kind of interesting things tend to Strike Force.

29m 43s – 30m 43s

And don’t lose the leaf which obviously speak strongly of the defense but it’s is cool because it doesn’t feel like it, you know, just saying the Packers let the whole game against Seattle. It didn’t feel like it but they did but the bottom line is they get into the position of power of control and they maintain control and although it feels out of control and it feels like the Packers are about to lose. It feels really close. Right the Redskins game all that was terrible to think they were in the lead the whole game. I think maybe a lot of this is that things feel more out of control than they are and and it’s relatively true that you know, if if the Packers begin to get a lead the defense kind of gives up, maybe that’s a change in Penn’s play calling to kind of be more conservative which leads to more points, but the point is although it doesn’t feel like it I think a lot of times the Packers are in control for most of or the entire game and although it doesn’t feel like it they are there they take control they maintain control they win the game. So that was an interesting little side project. If you have any thoughts like that you can pass it along to

30m 43s – 31m 43s

Promise I’m going to do it. But if it sounds interesting enough for are interesting enough, I will try it out and I if you are a patron by the way, do you want me to do a project again? I can’t promise it but it’ll probably put your list to the put you to the top of the list of preface it and just let me know because I don’t know your patreon by your Twitter handle or whatever else. So just just say it by the way, I’m on Patron and I want you to do that. Try it out will see. All right. So let’s look at one of the things in this is just tiring right to the Packers are you know always getting helped by the wrap and there’s this chart out there that show something from 2010 to 2019 teams that have been most helped on third down by the rain. It’s it’s really really specific which one you’re super specific is a lot of variables for when it when you’re really broad. There’s a lot of variables but then when you’re oddly specific in a certain way that there’s just too many variables in there and it’s not an honest way to actually ask

31m 43s – 32m 43s

The question very simply. I just took the premise that the Packers are helped by the refs more than any other team and then somebody went on even further to say that while this is because the NFL needs to prop up the Packers because the market can’t sustain itself unless they’re winning. So I just took that promise and said, okay, let’s look at this and see if there are any signs of conspiracy penalties against the least penalized teams in order. Would you like to know what they were the Colts the Panthers the Giants the Dolphins The Bangles the Patriots the Vikings the Chargers the Bears and the Green Bay Packers. Those are the top 10 least penalized team. Like I said package or 9th least it turns out that nevermind. That’s something else we’ll get there. The Packers are penalized 10th lease in the hilarious thing is that the Bears are penalized less and the Vikings are penalized less than two franchises that are always screaming about how the Packers or the rest love the packer.

32m 43s – 33m 43s

Actually penalize less but you can say well no, that’s not what we’re talking about. It’s not that you don’t get penalized me. That’s just that’s just discipline. If you’re not penalized you get the most calls in your favor. Okay. Well luckily for you. I have those numbers as well the biggest beneficiary of play calls. Let’s just do it in order the top 10 ready the most penalties called in their favor the Titans the Falcons the Eagles the Chiefs the Bengals the Broncos the Texans the Lions and the 49ers now if we’re going with the conspiracy theory thing, what is the trend here is it that they love, you know, high-flying teams like the Chiefs the Packers the the Patriots know cuz how do you explain Tennessee Atlanta Cincinnati Denver Houston. Nobody cares about these things Detroit, by the way, the Packers are in the top 10 you want to know which team so here’s the top 10 teams getting the least amount of calls in their favor. The Raiders the Vikings the Redskins.

33m 43s – 34m 43s

Saints the bills the Cowboys the Ravens the Jaguars the Packers and the Rams the ninth least penalties in their favor in the NFL. What conspiracy theory are you talking about? No, I will say relative to the amount of penalties. They get a lot of yard, but that only has to do with the types of penalties that were talking about in terms of penalty yards in their favor, which were talking about a really grand scheme Air Force and I want you to not call a lot of penalties for the Packers so that it doesn’t look Shady but make sure you call a lot of like big play penalties were talking about what pass interference and like personal fouls. 15-yard penalty, whatever but here let’s let’s also be specific in terms of the beneficiary of yards from penalties top 10. Here’s the list ready not Packers number one hits the Steelers then the Titans and the Dolphins then the Falcons and the Eagles and the Broncos and the Cardinals then the Colts.

34m 43s – 34m 47s

Then the Packers than the Bangles there’s no correlation here.

34m 48s – 35m 48s

There’s nothing that points to any kind of grand scheme or to even first of all conspiracy. Theories are dumb just from the standpoint of how many people have to be involved without saying anyting the fact that we believe that this has been rigged and you got players and coaches and Reps and people that have come and gone and not one person has decided to write a book that would make him a multi multi millionaire saved. By the way. I have inside information. We used to rig games. Not one person has come out and said that can you break we how much money do you think these refs make them? It’s a good amount of money. But if you’re making $200 a year and you can sell a book it makes you about 20 million dollars. I’m thinking you might pull the trigger bottom line is it just isn’t there? And by the way, we were talking about a lot of yards. We’re talking about 9ish yards per penalty on average when the Packers have a penalty in their favor. It’s almost ten yard on average which when you have a quarterback that likes to throw the ball deep you’re going to get a lot more penalties that are

35m 48s – 36m 48s

Pass interference penalties that are further down the field which really Rex this average has nothing to do with the conspiracy. It has to do with the fact that more of their penalties are big yardage penalty probably coming by way of pass interference so that the information is right here. It’s readily available and it’s listening it varies. I looked at this is called NFL penalties., They’ve got a really comprehensive list of stuff PFF has slightly different numbers are there was another side I look at it. Don’t remember slightly different numbers, but I’m at work talking about a variation of penalties called against the Packers between 100 and 103. Probably some kind of a discrepancy between in a whether it was accepted or what. I don’t know exactly how you mess up counting these but whatever it’s it’s a very small variation and in no way is there ever going to be a site that you can find. This is the Packers are the least penalized team and have the most penalties going in their favor and then the argument devolves into anecdotal evidence while there was that one play dude. Let me tell you right now for all the

36m 48s – 37m 48s

Bears and Vikings and lions fans that want to complain about the Packer if the only bad call that win against your team was against the Packers. I think the rest are biased in your favor if that’s the only thing that happened to you. And by the way, if it’s not the only bad call then you’re a liar you’re lying because you know bad calls go for and against you all year long because the referees don’t do if super great job all the time and pretty much every single game you wash is a controversial call every single one including last week. The Seattle Seahawks fumble the ball the Packers clearly recovered they gave the ball back to Seattle because they said we couldn’t quite clearly see it even though you can clearly see the guy recover it and then it’s blurry and then at the end of it the guy who recovered it handed the ball to the ref meeting. He still had it but we don’t have any clear evidence that could have easily lost the Packers the game. Does anybody care know because we’re at a point to that one time when I guess the Lions you had one of their pass-rushers constantly pushing up into David bakhtiari is neck. What a day.

37m 48s – 38m 48s

Technically touches face mask even though you can see he’s pushing up into his head and his head is jerked backwards and David bakhtiari. By the way was talking to refs a Duke watch. This guy keeps pushing my head back. And so the rest saw him do it and I got another anecdotal think there was a fumble by a packer I think on on a kickoff you fumble the ball in the Bears are covered until I call that was a clear recovery, but they said it was a hit to the head or something. I don’t know but the point is USA live action and tell me that that doesn’t look like a hit to the head. Of course it never even agree just calls against the Packers. These are all calls that in in really quick time that you’re just watching it. You don’t slow down and I don’t watch it seventy-five thousand times and you was like little technology and everything else to try to see specifically where it was and how technically kinda sorta it is a good call. I don’t know of any super agree just calls against the Packers. I’m sure there have been some but again, it happens to everybody and if you’re saying the only bad call you’ve had was against the Packers then I think the rest.

38m 48s – 39m 48s

Bias in your favor cuz it’s half of the Packers a lot and it’s happened. A lot of other teams. A lot of us watched it happen every time I watch a game it’s happening and I got the fact that we keep here at all member that one time like do do you remember last week or the week before that or the week before that? Why are you lying pretending? You don’t see these thing fact of the matter is the Vikings lost. The Bears are now garbage again in the lions are still guarded and the best argument you have about why the Packers don’t deserve to be where they are is because the refs have had a couple bad calls in their favor and we’re going to pretend that it’s somewhat agree just going to pretend they get less calls anybody else and more calls in their favor than anybody else ever attended. Our team doesn’t have any calls go in our favor and just lie lie, lie, lie lie to create up this this completely indefensible lie that the Packers have this relationship with the Packers cuz you don’t Aaron Rodgers hug the rest before a game which by the way lots of coaches and players know these guys, especially veterans Tom Brady’s doing the same thing not because they’re best friends then maybe

39m 48s – 40m 47s

Because they’ve gone back a long way. These refs have been here for the same 15-20 years that Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers have yes, they know each other by the way, a lot of Packers players shake hands with players on other team has no collusion there. They just know each other. They’re shaking hands like hey, whatsup? So stop lying stop crying. Stop trying to make excuses that all three teams in the NFC North. Day in the Packers have potential Lions. No less than most but you got money and you got early draft picks and you can turn this thing around 49ers did it but if you keep spending all your time Looking Backward, you’re not going anywhere you spend some of your energy focusing on how to fix things out next year. You can be better than the Packers actually beat them this this defeatist victim mentality, but we can’t get ahead because of the worlds out to get us, you know, how pathetic that is. We’re not winning cuz the refs Trey’s rig man in the system is rigged, you know, you’re a loser but this was not rigged nothing’s rigged. But because your face

40m 48s – 41m 48s

Lunges cuz you have obstacles look really supposed to be a better play do a better job in coverage sack the quarterback. It’s in your control. If the entire argument for your team comes down to a half an inch. But by the way, he at 100% had a first down maybe you just didn’t do enough in life and in football making lame excuses in blaming Society or the refs or whatever else you’re not going anywhere. I promise you you go nowhere in life grow up if you want something go get it. If you want your team to get better. It’s not going to be from Looking Backward and say it’s a joke. That’s fine. I get it. I played along with the joke the Packers in the wraps and hahaha. That’s funny. If you actually believe it that’s pathetic the fact that you actually have to go to conspiracy theories to help you sleep at night to believe that your team isn’t actually that bad and the Pea.

41m 48s – 42m 48s

Aren’t that good? Because it hurts your feelings so much. It hurts your emotional state of mind so much to actually believe the Packers are a good team. We’ve got to come up with their frauds and and they cheat and that is so pathetic. How do you verbalize these things and not feel like less of a human being for actually saying these things out loud. It’s so embarrassing and I joke around say about the Patriots but it’s a joke. So good football team the granted they have cheated in the past, but it’s not going to lie. I Promise You The Bangles could record anything and everything that they want. They’re not winning Super Bowls Of course, it’s a good team. Of course Bill Belichick is a good coach. Of course Brady’s a good quarterback is the difference between joking around and teasing and having like a fun little rivalry and actually believing that the NFL is rigged against your team. And that’s why they can’t go to get ahead. Now, you’re just supporting incompetence. Your team is bad because your GM is trash cuz your coach is not good enough cuz your quarterback is to

42m 48s – 43m 27s

Stop blaming. Everything else have higher expectations for your team drives me nuts. And yes, I’m I’m half talking about football and 1/2 talking about life in general cuz I’m just tired of hearing it is out to get you man up get a life already crying all day long Twitter is just crying crying crying attacking and crying attacking and crying. I seriously did delete that tweet cuz everybody just wants to buy a lot of sarkic of the guys, like look. I just wanted to give some information. This is getting stupid. Now, there’s no reason for that. There’s no reason for him to say stuff that is fake and lying and crying and being a whiny little baby about the Packers are cheaters in the Packer fans are bragging about it.

43m 28s – 44m 23s

What’s a pack of ants coming into just kick him in the face over and over again is like this is I’m out of here. This is weird and horrible kicking and crying. That’s all Twitter is I can’t get ahead. And by the way, I hope you die. If I could say it was a tagline for Twitter. That would be it life’s unfair and I hope you die Twitter and again Google does exist. So feel free to find this information out yourself before you start whining and crying about how hard it is and it’s not fair Google it by the way the argument that the Packers have a small market and this is the favorite special Chicago Bears fans because everything is wrapped up in the fact that there are big city and they think that just afford them some kind of credibility. I don’t know what it is, but you know, they they’re just annoyed with how much in love with people tend to be with people from Wisconsin with the state with the Packers me to talk about Wisconsin and Green Bay and whatever else people

44m 28s – 45m 28s

Me too, cuz I like dude big city supposed to love us. We’re supposed to be the best in Soviet the argument of all their this tiny little Backwoods. Redneck bababababa. They can support themselves. I hate to tell you this Hoss the Packers brought in more money in 2019 than the Bears did this small tiny little market has no problem sustaining itself because how do you make money while you sell jerseys and things right? You can sell merchandise you think the Packers have a problem with that then one of the largest fan bases around the world you sell tickets, which the Packers sell out and despite the size of the Town. What we’re talking about now is not selling out tickets in the town. We’re talkin about selling tickets in the stadium. They have one of the bigger stadiums in terms of size and they sell it out which means Revenue also, there’s television and because they are good and yes just has to do with them being good witch could technically support your argument, but there’s no reason to because anybody could be good and then make that much money, but they get a lot of prime time.

45m 28s – 46m 28s

Television Revenue, right they they draw audiences. So if you wanted to make an argument, it wouldn’t be that there was a small Market if you’re trying to follow this conspiracy theory thing. It has nothing to do with a small Market what you would say is because they have a massive fanbase and the NFL wants to capitalize off that they want to prop up this massive fanbase but Bears fans can’t get themselves to say that because that takes away everything that they believe it’s the last thing they have to hold on to it was this big city they have and as I’ve said a thousand times I got this little man complex because I’m not nobody cares about Chicago. Nobody cares about their food. Nobody cares about the size of their City. Everybody talks about New York and La nobody talks about Chicago or cares about it. Nobody goes on vacation to Chicago. They go to New York to go to La they go to all kinds of big city to go to go to Dallas and Houston and Austin all the biggest 75 big giant cities in Texas. You might even go to Atlanta typically people are not going to be like who I want to go on a vacation to Chicago cuz the only thing anybody ever knows about Chicago the only thing you guys get credit for is a massive amount of shooting.

46m 28s – 47m 27s

You have sorry man. That’s just the way it is and you have a smaller fan base than the Green Bay Packers and your team despite having a massive market and a massive amount of money in your city actually bring it less money than the Packers do so you can argue this if you’re willing to acknowledge that the Packers have a bigger Market. I’m talking about in terms of revenue from the fan base than the Bears do what you’re not going to do that are you cuz that hurts your feels too much. I know I get it. Anyways, there was another question and another argumentative thing that happened on Twitter, but also not only out of time but I’m getting a little too riled up for my own good. So I will just leave it at that. She’d like to do me one more favor for the day. Please don’t pollute Twitter with kicking and crying please find something else to do go get excited about the Packers in a way that is not yelling at 49ers fans ignore them. He wanted to be want to make a mad. The easiest way to do that is to just brag about your team. It’ll drive them.

47m 28s – 47m 34s

Insane let them go off and be bad people. That’ll be our goal for today. No crying, and no kicking.

47m 35s – 47m 42s

You want to do a little bit in the Facebook group? That’s fine. Anyways, you folks have ourselves a fantastic day. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Have a good one. Bye. Bye.

0 notes

concussed-to-pieces · 7 years

Text

Quiet; Part Four

Fandom: WWE

Pairing: Baron Corbin/Female Reader

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Thirst Party Saturday! We embark on a voyage to last year's Wrestlemania, hope you all have your tickets! Tagging Bossa Nova @toxiicpop, Riot Squad @oraclegazes, Big Gun @hardcorewwetrash and of course, Wolf Expert @writergrrrl29.

Enjoy!

Wrestlemania.

The word always held such gravity. It could hush a rowdy locker room, raise the spirits of the most downtrodden wrestler. It was a dream, a symbol of everything you could ever hope for as talent working for WWE. Wrestlemania. From Kickoff to Main Event, the notion alone sent electricity down your spine.

Meetings were more and more frequent. What with Nikki Bella nursing her neck back to health and various other issues the women's division was looking sparse. You weren't sure you were ready for that kind of move up though. The idea of working live with a camera at least once a week made you nervous beyond repair. NXT tapings were one thing, and maybe you could manage Smackdown, but what about Raw?

No, you were better in NXT. Less likely to get lost in the shuffle, not quite so caged by your stammer and inability to come up with dialogue on the fly.

Baron came out of his own meeting with ‘the powers that be’ more subdued than usual, a thoughtful expression on his face as he took his seat across from you for your weekly lunch date.

“H-Hey, are you okay?” You finally asked after he’d sat there silent aside from a few grunts for over half an hour, staring down at his salad. “Baron? I…can you talk to me, please?” You reached across the table to squeeze his hand and he looked up, seeming startled.

“Sorry, I’m uh, in my own head. Not fair to you, little one. How did your day go, anything interesting happen? Good meetings, bad meetings?” Baron asked, avoiding your eyes as he went to stab vigorously at a cherry tomato with his fork. The whole while his other hand stayed in yours, thumb rubbing the back of your hand.

“They’re talking about putting me o-on the main roster soon. I don’t know if I’m ready f-f-for that.” Your stammer kicked up in the face of your nerves and you swore inwardly.

That news certainly got his attention though, Baron’s head whipping up. “Really? Little one, that’s--shit that’s so cool!” His abrupt enthusiasm made you giggle a little.

“I'm nowhere near prepared for that kind of stuff yet, Baron. N-Nice to think about though.”

“It’s pretty sweet that they’re even considering you, right? All that hard work is payin’ off!” Baron smiled, giving your hand a squeeze of his own before letting go and actually beginning to eat his salad. “I’m proud of you, y’know that?” He said after a minute. “I promise I’m not just talkin’ out my ass, I am really, really proud of you. Bouncing back from your concussion, feuding with Becky…I mean shit, you’re moving leaps and fuckin’ bounds both in-ring and on the mic.”

He took a deep breath and your heart sank, waiting for the “but”. Nobody was more supportive when it came to your career, so it might hurt a little bit to hear it from his mouth. You were strong though, you could take it.

“So they want me to be in the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Wrestlemania.” Baron said all in a rush. “Breeze and I are supposed to be Hunter's picks. I…I told them I would have to run it by you first.”

“Uh…wait, what?” You asked, certain you’d heard wrong. Why would he need to--

“Look, this is kind of a Big Fucking Deal, little one. Wrestler Superbowl. I ain’t gonna’ barrel off into this shit without talking with you about it first. You’re the most important person in the world to me, you're my mate and…I mean, it’s a battle royal, I’m probably going to get at least a little fucked up.” Baron explained. “If you don’t want me to do it, I’ll tell them I can’t and then they can find someone else.” He leaned forward, folding his hands. “Or…” He trailed off, a smirk tugging at his mouth.

“’Or…’?” You echoed, raising an eyebrow at his antics.

“I could win the whole thing for you, get my name on a shiny trophy, really stir the place up.” The smirk was a full-blown grin now. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning. “Show everyone what NXT can do, what I can do. Granted, Breeze alone is kinda’ more than enough representation for NXT, although he's not with us anymore. Talented motherfucker. But Hunter is worried that the crowd will be too focused on his ‘pretty’ gimmick, and that’s where I come in.” Baron spread his arms like he did during his entrance. “Big Bad Lone Wolf Baron Corbin, tossing dudes around like they’re lightweights, talkin’ trash and just being loud and ornery as fuck.” He seemed like he’d given this a lot of thought. Either that or Hunter had been pushing for it for ages and had just made Baron a hell of a sales pitch. “What do you say, little one? Wanna’ watch me lay fucking waste?”

You bit your lip. Any multi-individual matches always made you nervous. The more people involved, the more likely it was that someone would get hurt. Baron had a competitive streak in him that was a mile wide, always eager to prove himself, to move up to the next rung on the ladder. But he also worried so much about being a good pack leader, about being strong for you after what had happened. Something like this…if you agreed to it, maybe it would ease some of his worry. You knew how much of a distraction it could be. Plus, maybe it would encourage him to be more cautious in the weeks leading up to ‘Mania. There wouldn’t be any ‘laying waste’ if he was injured. “Okay. Yeah, okay.” You said finally.

Baron looked shocked, which was a very funny expression to see on the stoic man. “I…really? Holy shit, really?!” He damn near flipped the table when he got up without shoving his chair back, scooping you up out of your own chair and into a rib-cracking hug. “Thank you, thank you little one, I promise I won’t let you down!” You sputtered, laughing as he peppered your face with kisses. Baron wasn’t a PDA person, normally content with a hand on your lower back or a quick peck on the cheek if you leaned into him. This…it was touching to see how happy you’d made him, that he would completely forget his own hangups in order to express his gratitude.

“Hey, listen, I don’t c-care if you win it all or if you get thrown out first. As long as you’re safe, alright Baron?” You had to clarify, doing your best to look serious.

Baron nodded, tucking his face into your neck and closing his eyes. “You got it, little one.”

“Baron can…can you maybe put me down?”

“Oh! Oh sorry, sorry, shit.”

…

The weeks passed in a flurry of singles matches, short-term feuds and extra training sessions. Corbin was obviously excited about the coming battle, hating the days when he had to turn. He admitted it felt like he was wasting time that he could be running the ropes with.

He didn’t seem to mind accompanying you on your morning jogs on those days though, dark brown fur usually covered in dew from when he would roll around in the grass. Xander would come along as well, trotting docile at your hip while Baron lunged and bounded all over the trail.

Some nights Baron was so exhausted from his supplemental training he would fall asleep sitting up on the end of the bed, slumped over his knees with his boots still on. You grew used to nudging him onto his back and then dealing with his boots, unlacing them and laying them carefully to the side of the bed so neither of you would trip over them in the morning.

Baron mumbled more in his sleep, held you a little tighter.

“I’m going to make you proud, little one.”

You had no idea how to convince him that he’d already made you proud, the determination and tenacity he displayed never ceasing to amaze you. Always willing to go one more round, always improving, single-mindedly striving for the next goal he set himself. It was incredible to watch him progress so rapidly, even if you did worry the nights he fell asleep on the end of the bed.

“My poor boy.” You said softly one such night, settling his head into your lap and starting to carefully stroke his hair. Baron sighed in his sleep when you cupped his jaw and bent down to kiss his cheek. He shoved one of his arms beneath your thigh, snuggling your leg tightly. You stayed there for a little while, gently fingercombing his hair and letting him hold your leg. “You’re w-working so hard, Baron. I hope you’re going to be okay.”

“Mm, m’onna’ be fine.” He grunted. “Y’ so good t’ me, s’not fair.”

“Shh, sleep Baron.” You urged, smiling when he scrunched his face up grumpily. “Sleep, have good dreams about that big fight you’re going to be part of. My money’s on you.”

“Mm, you’re biased though.” Baron pointed out, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. He pressed his forehead to yours, sleepily smiling at you. “Thanks for that. The head rubs and the encouragement. It’s still…a little weird for me to not be alone. So um. Thanks.”

“Hey, I want to always be there for you, okay?” You replied sincerely. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I--I care about you. A lot. So let’s go to bed. Tomorrow is another day and I’m sure you have to get up early so Bloom can-”

“Kick the shit out of me some more, yeah, I know.” Baron grumbled, kissing your forehead and then scooting himself up the bed. “Now get over here and snuggle my ass. I need to be at maximum cozy capacity in order to get to sleep, little one, so you have to try harder.”

“Oh yeah? We’ll see about that.” You shuffled up the bed and settled into his arms, hearing (and feeling) the contented sigh he let out. “Good night, Baron.”

“G’night…”

Sleep eluded you for most of the night. You laid there, listening to Baron breathe slow and deep, your mind buzzing with what might happen at Wrestlemania. What if Baron won the whole thing? The powers that be had been dangling a call up for months, that win would definitely be enough to tip the scale in Baron’s favor. Your excitement faded as you realized that meant he would obviously be leaving NXT. I’m not ready for the main roster. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. What would happen once your tours went different ways? You had been looking forward to the Download Fest tour, but if Baron was on the main roster he probably wouldn’t be on that leg. Or any others. This was the end of your travels together, it would seem.

You scrubbed at your eyes, fighting back the tears. Baron groaned, hugging you even tighter. “Mm, shh, gotcha’.” He mumbled, “Jus’ me. Jus’ me.” You hoped he was talking in his sleep again and that you hadn’t woken him up. “Jus’ good dreams, li’l one. Shh.” Baron kissed the back of your head. “Dun’ cry.” He dissolved into murmuring nonsense words and humming, the constant rumble of his voice in his chest finally lulling you to sleep.

Everything will be fine.

…

“I uh. I kind of want to puke.” Baron said quietly as you helped spritz his hair wet. “S’loud as fuck out there, little one. I’m…I’m real nervous and I’d like to sink into the fuckin’ floor right about now.”

From his spot in the makeup chair across from Baron, you saw Tyler roll his eyes. “Just follow me down the ramp, Corbin. I promise once you get in the ring you’ll forget about the people watching. Don’t let all those uggos psych you out.” Breeze’s words were firm. “This is your chance, our chance. If we put on a good show, a great show, people will start noticing NXT more. I mean, I was the best thing about NXT when I was in it, right? You and I both know that roster is way more talented than the main one anyhow.” Breeze huffed, folding his arms over his chest.

“D-Do you guys know who else is going to be in the Battle Royal?” You asked timidly.

Baron shook his head. “All we know is to be careful with the older guys if any of them make an appearance. Show respect for the giant, that kinda’ thing. Rumor is that DDP is gonna’ be in the ring at some point.”

“Psh, yeah right. Where did you hear that?” Tyler scoffed, checking his face with his phone.

“I mean, it’s a rumor. DDP, Mark Henry…” Baron paused, shrugging. “Rumors. We won’t know until we get down there, right Breeze?”

You cupped Baron’s chin, getting his attention as Tyler fussed over his nose, it’s too orange, you ruined it! “How are you doing?” You whispered, resting your forehead against his.

Baron looked unsettled. “Smellin’ a lot of prey. I…I’m better than that, but goddamn if this shit doesn’t reek of easy targets.” He admitted. “Just have to keep myself under control. Probably should have turned a few days ago but I needed the time to train. I’ll be okay. I have to be, y’know? Gotta’ be strong for the pack.”

“You’re the strongest person I know, Baron. I’m so proud of you already. I just wanted you to know that.”

Baron rubbed his forehead back and forth across your own, chuckling at the squeaking noises his damp skin made and how you crinkled your face. “Means a lot coming from you, little one. I’ll do even better than my best. Promise.”

You watched from the curtain as everyone filed out down the ramp to the ring. Baron was last in line and he gave you a shaky smile, before straightening his shoulders and heading forward into the bluish twilight of the arena.

…

The entrance ramp looked like it stretched to fucking eternity. Baron swallowed hard, trying to just focus on the area directly in front of him. He was bombarded with smells from the crowd, the excitement and tension sharp in the air.

He might puke. He might be the guy that puked at Wrestlemania. That might be him. Some pack leader he was, shit. His heart was slamming in his chest much worse than it used to when he boxed, he was pretty sure his nose was already fucking running like a faucet. He was overwhelmed with nerves when he tried to look up at the crowd. He fixed his eyes on Tyler’s goofy fringes, watched as they swished back and forth on the ramp like the world’s most impractical mop.

Mark Henry stormed out, one of the first who was important enough to at least get his music played. Baron didn't like how Konnor and Viktor hovered so close to him in the ring, and he certainly didn't care for the goddamn Social Outcasts swarming around him like a hyperactive welcoming committee. Swagger was practically crowding him out of his fucking skin. Baron toyed momentarily with the idea of turning right there and scaring everyone shitless.

Something stank of sulfur. Baron was willing to bet his paycheck on it being Kane and he was not disappointed as the pyro jolted to life. Honestly out of the whole lot of his opponents, he was the most concerned about the demon and Breeze. Kane for obvious fucking reasons, and Tyler knew all his tricks. As long as one of them was eliminated quickly, his job would be made leaps and bounds easier.

Need to be strong, for little one.

Fandango had started gyrating towards Tyler with obvious intent. Baron watched Breeze out of the corner of his eye, laughing to himself when Breeze huffed out an annoyed breath and mouthed 'uggo' at Fandango. The dancer didn't seem put off at all. In fact, his smile widened.

The crowd burst to life when Diamond Dallas Page's music hit, the older man emerging and looking as excited as a youngster while he practically bolted down the ramp to the ring. The 'Master of the Diamond Cutter' seemed...overeager. Baron realized his job may have gotten much, much more difficult, what with the whole, 'be careful with the older guys' rule. He wondered if that rule also applied to Goldust, unsure if it was only aimed at the less-active superstars.

He definitely felt like his job had gotten harder when he heard Big Show's music blast out, but he kept his chin up, watching as the world's largest athlete sauntered up to the ring and climbed over the top rope. Surely, that was it as far as participants went, right? They'd start the match and...well, he'd just have to be smart is all. Baron knew he was big, but he liked to believe that the reason why he was dangerous was his ability to out-think his opponents.

Adam Rose smacked him on the arm, either accidentally or to get his attention and Baron bared his teeth, snarling at the lithe man for daring to lay a hand on him. On the other side of him Curtis Axel snickered. Unfamiliar music met Baron's ears and he looked up to see none other than Shaquille fucking O'Neal staring down Big Show with obvious malice in his eyes.

Wonderful. Old guys, a celebrity, a demon...

Baron grimaced. This was not looking like a smooth run in the slightest. Breeze caught his eye as Fandango continued to gently salsa dance in place, mouthing 'we got this'. Baron nodded, surreptitiously wiping his nose on his arm. Hadn't started running yet, thank heavens for small fucking favors. He knew once his blood really started pumping it was only a matter of time.

Sandow sidled up to him as Shaq and Big Show glared vigorously at one another. “I believe it would be in our best interest to work as a team, yes?” Sandow suggested.

Baron rolled his neck, loosening himself up a little bit. “Nobody tells me what to do, Pinky.” He grunted. “Pretty sure you're just statin' the obvious anyhow. For being so smart, you might be an idiot.”

“What a crude individual you are. Perhaps one of these Outcasts will listen to reason. Bo, my friend!”

The sulfur smell grew stronger when Kane moved towards Shaq and Big Show, and Baron watched from the back of the herd as the demon attempted to make a bold statement. The Red Machine was sent crashing to the mat for his efforts, and Swagger and R-Truth led the charge to trap Shaq in the corner. Baron went along with it, giving Sandow a shove in the opposite direction just because he could. It looked like the group had divided almost evenly to focus on the two large men, but to no avail.

Again, Baron went along with the motion when Shaq started throwing people off, sliding out of the ring beneath the bottom rope. He knew it was inevitable that the titans would clash, and hopefully they would take each other out. Big Show had easily shaken off the Social Outcasts and assorted sundry that had swarmed him, still focused on meeting Shaquille in the middle of the ring.

Fandango was the first man back into the ring, interrupting the heated standoff by resuming that damned gyrating as vigorously as possible. Baron didn't consider the dancer particularly smart, but he had to admire his bravery. And he had to admire the airtime he got when Big Show ushered him over the top rope by the back of his neck. Sandow was next in the ring, smirking unwisely at the two huge men. Shaq had obviously had enough, mirroring Big Show's actions and launching the pink-trunks-clad man over the top rope.

Two down.

O'Neal and Big Show grabbed each other around the neck and everyone else poured back into the ring to force the two largest threats out, Bo and Curtis' hollering nearly deafening Baron as they all strained and shoved and finally tumbled Big Show and Shaq out.

Then, all hell broke loose. Baron might as well have had his eyes closed for all the coordination he was displaying, delivering quick elbow shots to the backs of necks in an almost-indiscriminate manner. He may have gifted Bo with his first of the evening, just for being so damn loud.

He remembered nearly stepping on DDP, mumbling out an apology and continuing over the floored legend to his next target.

He remembered Goldust with his hand way too tight on his ass for comfort, trying to tip him out of the ring. Goldust landed a few stinging blows to his back and then started wrapping an arm around Baron's thigh, either attempting to get better leverage or just cop a feel. Never really knew with Goldust. Baron returned fire, tired of the games, one thunderous elbow to the back of Goldust's neck laying the man out cold.

Tyler beckoned him over, accepting a light chop across his chest in response. “How you doing, Big Banter?” He asked, swatting Corbin right back. “Saw that geriatric uggo almost toss you out. You sure you're okay for this?” Baron's reply was to hoist Breeze up bodily and dangle him over the top rope for a minute, making the other man squawk and flail. “Only teasing, only teasing! C'mon man, we need to make Hunter proud!”

“Don't test me, Tyler.” Baron grunted, releasing him and then turning to assess the state of the ring. A few more eliminations had been made while Goldust was fighting/groping him. DDP was eliminated as he watched, the crowd booing when Konnor roared in victory. His glee was short-lived as R-Truth and Goldust (perhaps on the behalf of the 'Old Guys Committee' or something) clotheslined him out.

Baron suddenly had Bo fucking Dallas delivering rather hard shots to his head and chest, yelling and grinning with a total maniac look on his face. Then Slater, and then Axel, it was like a Social Outcast beatdown. Baron endured, kept waiting for an opening, tried to ignore the scent of blood and prey in the air. He and R-Truth almost had Slater out but then Tatanka was there, practically begging, and with a swift forearm Baron sent him on his way.

Baron grinned, feeling stupidly accomplished as he rested there on the ropes for a second. His whole body sang with the fight, his heart racing. He almost wished he could throw caution to the wind and just start decimating people. But no, no, he couldn't hand out Ends Of Days to everyone in the ring. People would probably get a little suspicious.

Swagger caught him on the jaw as he turned back to the action and Corbin was sent reeling across the ring. Jack, pink as a fucking ham with exertion but packing a hell of a punch, moved boldly to push Kane out and got himself eliminated for his trouble. Adam Rose landed a vicious stomp on Baron's stomach, knocking the air out of him and crumpling him momentarily. Baron choked a little bit, gagging as that sulfur smell filled his nose again. Kane was getting pissed, obviously, biding his time in the opposite corner while the Social Outcasts proceeded to heave a few more combatants out.

Baron watched Kane, watched the Big Red Machine watch the Outcasts, and when Kane stopped their Bo Train, Baron was right there waiting to keep them from slipping away in the other direction.

Corbin remembered blindly punching Rose square in the jaw, more than a little angry about the stomp from earlier. And then Kane's gloved hand was slammed into his throat, cutting Baron's air off to essentially nothing. Kane's fingers burned, even through the leather of his glove, the chokeslam knocking the rest of the air from Baron's lungs.

He spent what he felt was too long trying to stay conscious, brain screaming for precious oxygen. God he hurt, everything hurt, why the hell had he thought this was a good idea? The wolf in him was snapping, snarling, forcing him to stay awake. Prey smell, blood smell, sulfur, bruises blooming-

Baron snapped his teeth, struggling to at least rise to one knee. He wasn't going down without a fucking fight.

Kane discarded Darren Young and Bo Dallas, then paused for a moment to enjoy his handiwork. Baron's eyes narrowed.

Prey!

Baron lunged forward, whole body aching as he latched onto Kane’s leg like a goddamn bear trap's jaws. The demon tried to shake him off, nearly kicking him in the head. All Baron could taste and smell was charred, bitter smoke; he could feel the feverish, sickly heat radiating off Kane’s body like some terrible version of what Bayley could do. With everything he had, every belligerent, stubborn muscle in him that refused to give, refused to surrender, Baron strained to tip Kane out of the ring.

He unleashed a furious snarl, barely resisting the urge to dig his teeth in and tear Kane to pieces. For one breathless second it seemed almost like the demon had regained his balance, an elbow heading straight for Corbin’s head.

Baron tore down deep, deeper than he ever had before. The wolf in him came raging to the surface and with his last fucking ounce of determination, he sucked in a breath that felt like ash in his lungs and heaved upwards, dumping Kane unceremoniously outside the ring. He collapsed onto his knees, gasping for air while he dimly realized they were playing his music. He had won, somehow, somehow he’d done it!

Corbin covered his face with his hands for a moment, feeling overwhelmed in a different way now. All the hard work, all the extra hours in the gym and of Bloom making him drill over and over and over, everything had paid off.

He longed for you to be here as he got to his feet and stretched his arms wide, a display of cocky dominance for the hard cam. Sneer firmly in place, teeth bared, and he wanted nothing more than to drop it all and gather you into his arms. He was sore, exhausted, sweaty, but happy, so fucking happy. He could hardly manage to keep the smirk disdainful when all he wanted to do was start laughing like a fucking hyena. He’d done it! Tears welled suddenly in his eyes as he heard the chants of 'NXT!', thunderous and triumphant. He had to take a few deep breaths to fight back the urge to cry.

Baron rolled out of the ring and went to stand beside the trophy, folding his arms across his chest to mimic the original giant of old. He had never felt so damn tall, so proud in his whole life, whole body at peace as he basked in the glow of his hard-fought victory. Never let it be said that someone like him couldn't focus, couldn't get the job done, couldn't work in sync with what he was. He had achieved what he'd set out to do, and now he was forever in the history books of WWE. All hail in-fucking-deed.

I am the pack leader, and I will do whatever it takes to make my mate proud.

…

You waited until everyone had congratulated Baron, until the pictures had been taken. He cut quite the dashing figure, arms crossed firmly over his chest in tribute to the mighty Andre and his hair barely tamed. You felt like you might burst with pride. “B-Baron!” You called finally, waving.

He waited for one last camera flash and then he was bounding across the room and wrapping you up in a tight embrace. “I did it.” He mumbled into your hair, sounding like he was inches from tears. You looked up, cupping his jaw as he sniffled. “I did it. I fucking did that shit. Are you proud of me?”

“I’ve never been more proud in my whole life.” You said firmly. Baron whined in his throat. “I’m serious! N-Never ever. You…that was so impressive.” You continued sincerely, feeling like you would never stop smiling. “You’re amazing, you’re incredibly amazing.”

“For you, little one. I don’t want you to think you have to worry ever again.” Baron’s eyes were that rich shade of honey-gold, the other side of him probably forced closer to the surface from the fight. “I am yours and I will take care of you, you’re my pack, my mate and I…you’re everything to me. I love you.” He finished awkwardly, making your breath catch in your throat. He wasn’t incredibly comfortable with normal terms of endearment. An unprompted ‘I love you’ was very rare for him; he preferred to say things like ‘forever-mate’ or ‘I will keep you safe’.

You were pretty sure your smile was bright enough to be seen from space. You wrapped your arms around Baron’s neck, tugging him down into a well-deserved kiss. “Alpha…” You breathed against his mouth, feeling the contented rumble he let out.

“Little one, God, God. Fuck.” Baron growled, crushing you even closer and mouthing over your neck. “You’re coming with me. You’re coming with me right now and then you’re comin’ with me, you got that? C’mon.” You barely managed to keep up with him as he strode through the hallways, down into the belly of the arena. The crowd was nothing but a faint roar, a quiet ringing in your ears. Baron finally forced open a door and tugged you into the dimly-lit room. “Let me touch you let me fucking touch you let me please you let me let me let me--” Baron rambled, crooning low in his throat when you nodded eagerly and started fumbling with the buttons on your shirt.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d w-want to, after all that. I thought m-m-maybe you might want to uh…snuggle or something.” You said, making him pause. He cocked his head and you hastily added, “I’m totally f-fine with banging, obviously! I just know you’ve had a rough night. Didn’t want to force you i-if you’re tuckered out.”

“You’re too good to me, you fuckin’ know that?” Baron growled, sounding bewildered. “I could smell you a mile away, you’re so thick and fucking heady with want and...and even in spite of fucking wanting me, needing me, you still give me the out. You get me all funny in the chest, little one.”

“Well just because I want something doesn’t m-mean you want something. You went through a lot! I can wait, if you-” Baron’s mouth on your own stopped your offer and you leaned against him, fingers digging into his hips.

He snarled, nipping gently at your lower lip and then he got a faraway look in his eyes, snuffling along your neck and pressing kisses to the skin there. “Mm, you surged little one. I felt it. Heat pooling in your stomach, all tight because you want me, you need your alpha don’t you?” Baron asked, his voice gravelly.

His breath hitched when you unbuckled his belt, your fingers teasing at the top of his boxers before you snapped them lightly. Baron jolted, his back arching momentarily before he was back to snarling, hands hungrily grasping at your clothes. He wrangled your pants down and then wrapped an arm around your waist, roughly pressing your back against the wall on top of a stack of gear crates. You barely felt the cement bite into your shoulders, too mesmerized by your huge mate, who at this point seemed to be reduced to making nothing but feral noises. He knocked his forehead into yours, his hips rocking up over and over to the apex of your thighs. Baron’s eyes were half-lidded, the wolf just watching the way your breasts shifted every time he ground against you. He licked his lips absently and a shiver ran through you.

You called his name and Baron glanced up, giving you a slow smile and a gentle whiffle of breath in reply. It was still him, still your mate. “Hey.” You said shyly, running your fingers through his hair and making his eyes close in bliss. “Love you.”

Baron drew back to preen a little, sharp teeth bared in a smile. It was always strange to see the way he softened even while he was so much the predator, the way his eyes warmed and his body relaxed under your touch. You smiled back and he dropped his hands to his tights, unlacing them and then shoving them off over his hips. His boxers quickly followed suit and he gestured for you to raise your legs. You obeyed, confused for a second and then eyes widening as Baron caught both your legs with one arm and dragged you towards him, slinging your legs over his shoulder and pinning them there with one massive hand. “Mate.” He rumbled, stroking his cock with his other hand and making himself shudder and growl. “Fuck. Want, y-yeah?” He managed to say, interspersed with a low, drawn out whine.

“Baron-“ You wanted to beg for whatever he would give you, you wanted to surrender every ounce of yourself to this ultimate symbol of dominance in front of you. The ultimate symbol of dominance that was rendered almost speechless by his need for you, you! Baron waited patiently, his hand still slowly working his cock while his eyes stayed trained on your face. You finally nodded, gasping out a pitiful noise when Corbin pressed on your clit with the head of his cock, the pleasure flaring lightning-bright for a second.

“Good.” Baron grunted, letting you wrap your fingers around the base of his cock so you could tease yourself for a minute. He seemed to enjoy the sounds you made when you did this, when you toyed with him and, by extension, yourself. “Mm, good, fuck.”

“I want it to be good for my alpha. You did so w-well tonight.” You said shakily, finally brushing him over your entrance. Baron rocked forward, almost teasing himself as he breached you and then pulled back.

“Always tight for me.” He patted your legs over his shoulder and gave you another smile. “Even better for you this way.” You soon understood what he meant as he sheathed himself in one smooth motion. With your legs up out of the way he could reach deeper, his cock plunging past your spot with that delicious pressure you needed. Baron closed his eyes at the hungry cry you let out, inhaling through his nose. “Yes.” He drew the word into another growl, looking utterly content already. His fingers tightened on your legs and he began to move.

All you could do was lay back and accept his ministrations, the helplessness of your position sending a thrill of excitement through you. Completely at the mercy of your alpha, whimpering when Baron reached up and started rubbing slow circles around one of your nipples with his thumb. You arched up into his touch as best as you could, trembling with want.

His hips continued their thrusting movement and he pressed sloppy kisses to the skin on the side of your knee before looking down. “So fuckin’ cute, so fuckin’ good.” He groaned, his fingers now roving to your clit. “Mine.”

“Y-You’re mine too, y-y-yeah?” You half-panted the words, smiling when Baron nodded. “Forever-mate.” Baron’s eyes went wide at you using his term and he whined, cinching your legs tighter so he could hammer into you. He started growling, a deep rumble that kept going and going, rolling over your body in waves.

“Smell so fuckin’ good fuck me little one m’ gonna’ devour--” He choked, pulling out and surprising you by crouching and licking enthusiastically over your quivering cunt. You couldn’t help the cry that burst out of you, your pussy abruptly assaulted by a questing tongue, slicked fingers and the almost-pinch graze of sharp teeth.

“Baron!” The man in question moaned in reply, spreading you open and making contented noises as he worked to satisfy the burning need in your belly. His tongue lapped wetly over your clit and then he pressed down, harder and harder, keeping up the pressure. “Baron m’gonna’ come, m’gonna’ come, oh f-f-fuck Baron I’m gonna’ come-” You grabbed the back of his head to keep him steady, your fingers shaking as you went to pieces under his mouth. Baron growled in approval while you soaked his tongue and cried out his name, hips bucking against his face.

“More?” He grunted finally, laughing when you tightened your grip on his hair and begged for his cock again.

…

“Mate wants, mate gets.” Baron could hardly complain if you wanted him, wanted his cock back in you. He’d just needed to taste you, needed to get you off with his mouth. Licking and teasing and suckling, soothing the ache of want in his chest. He knew he could get too rough sometimes when the beast roamed close to the surface, he’d needed to take a step back and ground himself.

Baron could feel his own release closing in as he resumed a pace that was a little less punishing, a little less frantic. The smell of want had calmed, eased away into the warm embrace of content, of tired, snuggle alpha. You still had a tight grip on his hair, though, ordering him to plunge deep, to claim you, alpha alpha just like how you knew he liked. Baron loved it when you would beg, but it was always better when you fucking demanded, when you would mate him to exhaustion and then have him buck into you, claim you over and over and fucking over until all you could do was lay there and accept him and stroke his hair while his claim trickled hot down your thighs.

“Mine.” He growled again, loving how you fucking jerked his head down. “Mine.”

“Yours, yours, give it to me, I’m so proud of you, forever-mate.” You crooned to him and he completely lost the shattered remains of his cool, rutting his hips against yours and clenching his hands into fists as he came with a loud howl that was yes and good and mate, yours and mine all in one sound. You claimed him with the scratches raked down his back, with the hickies through his tattoos and the iron fucking grip you had on his heart.

Baron stared down at you, sure he was probably weirding you out. You laid there, panting, skin all flushed and pupils blown with arousal and he wanted to fucking cry because he had done that, he had made you proud and proved himself strong enough to still be your mate. “Y’kay?” He finally gasped.

“Fuck’s sake, I hope this winning streak k-keeps going.” You huffed, making him grin and press a kiss to your belly. “I dunno' if I can move, Baron. You might have destroyed my l-legs.”

Baron wasn't able to help his surge of pride, doing up his tights loosely and then tugging your pants back on. “Can carry you. C'mon.”

“B-But your trophy-!”

“You. Can carry you. Figure that out later.” Baron's voice had dropped into that lower register. He knew that late tonight or tomorrow he would be unable to stave off the turn any longer. “Mate important.” He said with a little more difficulty, carefully forming the words. “Important. Now.” He struck upon a genius idea as you settled into his arms. “You can hold it, yeah? I'll carry you. You hold it.”

“You g-got it, Baron.”

“Good. Let's go.” You leaned up to peck him on the mouth and Baron cocked his head, confused. “Why?” He asked.

“Because you're the b-best. Obviously.” You smiled and he couldn't keep from smiling back, knowing it must look odd with his sharp teeth. “Forever-mate.”

He bumped his forehead against your own, nuzzling your nose. “Forever-mate.”

#Baron Corbin #baron corbin smut #baron corbin x female reader #werewolf!baron corbin #wrestlemania 32 #wrestlemania 2016 #thirst party saturday #wwe #baron's bitches #lone wolf pack #for you!

344 notes · View notes

billvsamerica · 5 years

Text

A Little British Jaunt

A week before we were due to depart to Florida on May 17th, I had a sudden realisation. Kroc Fury, a local 9-12 year old football (soccer) team, were set to play in the finals on May 18th. Normally, I wouldn’t care very much that a children’s team had a game, but on this occasion it was important because I’m the coach. Unbeaten since the first game of the season, they had a real chance of winning the whole thing for the first time since my inaugural season nearly three years ago. I had to make a decision: a) disappoint my wife, leaving her to drive eight hours alone and go down a day later to Florida on the plane, or b) disappoint a bunch of children who idolise me as a demi-god and changer of lives. I booked my flight for after the game. Oh yeah, it was also my wife’s birthday on May 17th. We lost the game on penalties, so I made the wrong decision. They really did let me down. Embarrassing.

Kroc Fury changing their name to “The Let Me Downs” for next season.

Anyway, after sorting all that out we arrived back in England on Monday morning. After a day of tea and biscuits, we joined my parents on a trip to Oxford to see my brother. He’s teaching there while his girlfriend gets a degree from Oxford (ohhh, posh). Wandering the streets where other great academics had once roamed — Tolkein, Wilde, Hawking, Theresa May (ahem), had made me feel quite at home. I started to wonder whether I should have made more of an effort throughout my school life, messed around less, participated in positive extracurricular activities, got the qualifications I needed to get in, and had actually applied to go there, but then I thought, that sounds like a lot of hard work and I may never have come second in that pizza eating contest if I’d have chosen that path.

After exploring the historic buildings, like the pub that Tolkein himself used to frequent, the old university grounds, and the Uniqlo that sold those boxer shorts that I like, we ate a Lebanese meal with my brother and headed back to Worcester on yet another pretty train ride.

The next day, I was planning on getting pissed with my friends from University. It’s mad to think that I’ve known these guys since I was ten, because I haven’t. We met at University, I just said that — pay attention. My friends were coming from Cardiff and they suggested meeting in the middle at Chepstow on the border of Wales. After arriving, I quickly found out that it was only 15 minutes from Cardiff and over an hour and a half from Worcester. Haha, they don’t half like a wind up, those guys.

Bros in Chepstow on tip toes.

They had been in Wetherspoons since 10am, so me and Shelby had some catching up to do and we did so in one of the top five pub gardens in the whole country —the Three Tuns Inn. The only thing that was three tonnes by the time we left was my bladder after all the ale I drank, let me tell you (because I’m proper tough and manly). We reminisced over old memories and looked out over the nearly thousand year old castle. I was a little bit tipsy by the time we got back to the train station, where Rich (my so-called friend) twisted his ankle on the bridge and made quite a fuss about it. Maybe that wouldn’t have happened if we’d have met somewhere closer to Worcester, like Cheltenham perhaps, where I’ve heard the floorboards in the bridge have recently been refurbished.

This candid picture was taken just after the incident. You can see Rich looking at his ankle and, from a safe distance, Jake also staring at it, both wishing they were in Cheltenham no doubt.

The weekend came along and with it was the dawning of “Family Day”. In the morning, the family came over to our house and we drank mimosas and Bloody Mary’s. Later on we went over to my aunt’s house for pizza and the main event: Shelby’s Great British Poker Tournament. Joel, wearing sunglasses to disguise his sad little eyes, went ahead early on. He was incredibly cocky the whole time, which made it even more unbearable. I looked like I was heading for an early exit at one point. Down to my last chips, I went all in. I had to win to stay in the game. And did. The weaklings dropped like flies around me after that — Cat was so afraid she didn’t show up; Leah, gone; Lucy, bye bye; Mom, pathetic; Leah, it’s not snap!; Abby, come on now; Mika, no chance; Dad, embarrassingly kept saying that he was getting no cards up his end of the table when I know for a fact he was because of a carefully placed mirror behind him. Down to the last four players, the game started to get interesting. Jack won big and had the majority of the chips. He really let me down with a couple of poor decisions and then I basically bowed out to make him feel better when he lost them all. James came in second and Joel won. You’d think he’d won the Superbowl (that’s basically the Wimbledon Final for the Brits out there).

“And this one is called Cooke, the Baker. Now, do you understand, Joel?”

The next morning, James, Joel and Mika rocked up in a massive clanger of an Mercedes that he had bought recently. He kept saying how it was a cult favorite and everybody wanted one. Yeah, it was a cult favorite alright, looks like the bloody Manson Family used to own it! (Unfortunately, I didn’t say this at the time because it has taken me a couple of weeks to think of it, but I think my silence said basically the same thing). Still buoyed from his jackpot the night before, Joel was ready to splash some cash at the local flea market and I was ready to be told I didn’t need certain items by Shelby and that we couldn’t get them back on the plane anyway. As we turned into the car park, the parking attendant told James to roll down his window. I was half expecting him to tell him to leave because he’d sold him a dodgy motor in the past. Instead, he said “Can you get me one of those cars? I’ve wanted one for ages.” James, smugly smiled.

After we entered, James immediately walked off in no particular direction rather than wandering around with his nephew he hadn’t seen in nearly a year. The rest of us traipsed around the stalls, Joel purchasing a carved wooden candle stick holder shaped like Jesus and Mika spotting a great gift for Ed Ford’s birthday. It was a lamp that had been crudely taped to a cricket bat and ball. It was the tackiest thing in the whole market. Joel was conned into buying some sunglasses that made him look like Ted Bundy and I bought three old West Brom programs for my brother and dad. All in all, a partial success of a market. When we were about to leave, Mika and Joel went back to buy the cricket lamp. They returned sullenly a little while later with no lamp. Remarkably, somebody else had bought it! Howzat!?

Ted Bundy and his weird dog, Bear, who kept jizzing on everything (the dog, not Joel).

After Family Day drew to a close, Monday was unofficially named “Friend Day”. There’s a pub in Worcester that Ali Wilson says is his favourite. For this reason and many others, I have never ever been there. On this occasion, it was worth it. They were hosting a reggae sound system in the garden on Friend Day afternoon. With the sun beating down and the beats booming out, I could see why it was a good place to be, until I went inside to order a drink. I refused to give Joel the money to increase his single whisky to a double. In response, the landlord said something antisemitic about me not paying for it. Fortunately, Shelby was still outside, otherwise he might have been on the wrong end of a Jewish headlock. The music thumped out of the speakers and the droves of white people with dreadlocks bopped their heads in tandem and smoked a special kind of cigarette that had a very distinctive smell to it. I wouldn’t know what that stuff was though.

The next few days flew by like a low flying drone illegally filming somebody’s barbecue. On Tuesday evening, I jogged down to Pitchcroft, the local racecourse to play football with the lads for the first time since my knee operation. Will I ever be the player I was before again? I hope not, as I wasn’t that great and this knee is supposed to be better than the last one according to my doctor, Neil Snapinhaff, I think he’s Dutch (say it slowly to get the full benefit of this excellent joke).

Stoked to be here, folks.

Wednesday, we drove out to Malvern and marvelled at the ancient hills that were said to have inspired Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings (this blog is very Tolkein heavy for some reason). Thursday, we said goodbye to dad and went to Brighton for one final night of fun before hopping on the plane home.

Once in the coastal home of my cousin and her girlfriend, Abby, we went to eat a wonderful curry and had drinks at a cafe with computer games and stuff in. I didn’t much feel like playing games though. I took a moment alone outside and walked to the pebble beach. It was quiet out there, just the sound of the crashing waves to keep me company. I stared across the pebbles. There’s no place like it I said, but I looked around and nobody had followed me outside to hear my poignant statement. I ran back into the building and shouted loudly “I said there’s no place like it!” They all stared at me and then carried on playing their games and drinking their drinks. I suppose, life goes on for these little Englanders when I’m not around. And my great country will still be here for me whenever I need it.

Not the only pebble dashing I’d done that week.

Sidenote: I was astonished to see the amount of kids who now do wheelies down the streets of Worcester. I may sound like a Daily Mail reader here, but I would just like to say that it’s very annoying and frightening for the elderly women who are just trying to stand and look at clothes they won’t buy. If all of you are doing it, then it’s not as impressive, is it? So, I propose you design a schedule that allots a different weekday for all of you to do it somewhere quieter, like, the car park of an abandoned warehouse. Also, I tried the Gregg’s vegan sausage roll and it was so good, I actually thought the woman in there had inadvertently given me a meat one, which, in fairness, she might have done as it was very busy. So have that, Piers Morgan, you daft bell end.

My mad and sound family, plus that guy off Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

#lol #travel #mimosa #comedy #blog #uk #worcester

0 notes

dontpickyournoseatthedinnertable · 6 years

Text

No, Karen, I Don't Fucking Know Who That Is.

I have a thing that's bothering me. No. I have a thing that kind of actually makes me angry. Maybe it's because of my upbringing. Maybe it's because of my interests. Maybe it's because I live a life of relative isolation/insulation compared to many of my peers. It's probably a combination of all 3. I've never been interested IN THE LEAST in any kind of sports. I am aware that football and basketball and soccer and hockey and curling and skiing and all of these things exist. I know that the words "Superbowl" and "Mets" and "homerun" are sports-related terms. I'm aware that the Olympics are held every 4 years, and that there's a summer and a winter version. I'm sure I have friends who are into sports, but they don't talk about sports to me. I don't hate sports, I'm not against other people enjoying them, I just am not interested in them myself. I see a sports headline in my news app, I skip it. (And I honestly don't know that I have many sports headlines even pop up in my app, because I have that tab turned off.) I do enjoy movies and tv, but I'm not necessarily interested in ALL movies or tv. I spent nearly the first half of my childhood without a television in the house, and then when I did get a tv, I wasn't allowed to sit in front of it for hours at a time. I had over-air channels only (no cable) and really only got to watch a few cartoons on Saturday morning, maybe an hour of after-school cartoons and/or Bill Nye, and NOVA on PBS every Tuesday with my dad. I never really got to watch many movies until the later part of high school, and certainly not in the theater. We would rent a movie once or twice a month, when we could afford it, and it was always the same maybe half-dozen flicks. But I spent most of my time reading books about dinosaurs or other science subjects, and playing outside. I do watch a good deal of tv now, but most of my leisure tv time is spent watching documentaries or cartoons. So, I never learned/cared to pay attention to whatever tv show or actor was the big thing. I'm not completely in the dark, but I have a very limited knowledge of these things. I may recognize a name, but not be able to place the face (or vice-versa). I may or may not have heard of whatever big show everyone is watching these days, but I can almost guarantee you I have no idea what it's even about or who is in it. I don't like top 40 pop music. I was never exposed to it as a child. My parents were rockers, I grew up a rocker. The only station they ever had the radio on was KATT 100.5 while it seemed like everyone else listened to top 40 Pop on KJ103, or whatever station played country. It's not that I went out of my way to NOT listen to whatever was popular in my formative years, it's that I learned to like one style of music, and never heard what everyone else was listening to. To this day, I don't think I've ever heard a New Kids on the Block song. If I have, I wouldn't know it. I cut my teeth on Aerosmith and Metallica and Anthrax, and even when I did hear pop songs, I wasn't in the least bit interested in them, so I didn't bother remembering those artists or songs. But there are a million and one things that I *DO* know and care about that other people don't, and nobody seems to want to meet me halfway on that, or even acknowledge the fact that it's every bit as weird to me that they don't know who Alex Filippenko is or what he's famous in the astronomy field for, when they expect me to know who (I dunno...fuckin' pick someone. Kanye West) is and what he's famous for. "Oh my god! You don't know that Backstreet Boys song from 1998??? Did you grow up in the woods?" Yes, Karen, I did. But that's beside the point. No, I don't know that Backstreet Boys song from 1998, but can you name me ONE The Birthday Massacre song off of ANY of their eight albums? No? Then shut the hell up. Backstreet Boys is not my jam any more than The Birthday Massacre is yours, you judgey shit. "How do you not know about the world cup??? It's all over the news!" Well it's not all over MY news. And if we're gonna play that game, how do YOU not know about the upcoming Mars opposition? It's all over my news feed. Fuck off with that singling me out over things you know I don't give a rat's ass about anyway. What people don't seem to understand is that I would have to go just as much out of my way to learn about sports or actors or pop musicians as they would to learn about isostatic adjustment or Marina and Celina Suarez or Deadsy. And I'm sorry, but I'm having far too much fun in my life learning about dinosaurs to waste a minute of it on something I have no interest in. I don't expect anyone to else to share my tastes, but at least don't try to make me feel like shit for them.

#be kind #education #funny #humor #inspiration #journal #life

0 notes

tessatechaitea · 7 years

Text

Suicide Squad #15

Super-tits?

Not that he can draw any body type particularly well.

Now that Amanda has appeared to yell, "Surprise! Everything is different than you thought it was, Rustam!", Katana slips out of her bonds and chops Deadshot's hand off. That's okay. He probably wasn't using his left hand too much anyway. Except probably to masturbate. That might seem improbable but I'm right-handed and I masturbate with my left hand. I switched up decades ago when I was still a teenager because I was masturbating so much that my penis was curving to one side. I had to even it out! Eventually, I just got used to using my left! Plus, it's much sexier this way. Guess what? Harley Quinn also isn't dead! I know, right?! What the hell! Suicide Squad? More like Cozy Time Fun Blast Squad. I bet Hack didn't die either! And I bet Deadshot's cut off arm was one of those fake plastic Halloween ones that my creepy uncle pretends he's wearing when he touches all the cute young mother's butts. The Burning World Buddies realize maybe they should be named the Suicide Squad as Captain Boomerang cuts off Ravan's head and Killer Croc begins to eat Manticore and Enchantress casts a death spell on Jinn. Or Djinn? Whatever. Finally, Deadshot shoots Rustam in the back because Deadshot always works for Amanda Waller. He works for her so hard that he's willing to have a hand cut off while doing it. It was obvious he was still with the Squad or else Katana would have cut off his right hand. Even for Deadshot, it's tough to make accurate shots with his left wrist pistol when he can only look out of the scope visor over his right eye. In the end, it turns out Amanda was controlling everything the whole time, just like everybody reading this knew. So obvious. I was just joking when I kept repeating that Amanda Waller was really dead. I never actually believed it for once! No, really! I didn't! I just said it for laughs! Seriously! Why won't you believe me?! I'm a Grandmaster Comic Book Reader, dammit! Later, Amanda checks out Hack's body down in the morgue so she can say a thing she's never said since The New 52 began.

If by "some," you mean "a few Man-bats here and there," then sure, I guess.

Deadshot gets a new metal arm because it's cool and shit. Plus he gets to see his daughter and spend a weekend on the coast with her. Apparently the only way to get Amanda Waller to play nice is if you open a fucking vein for her. Amanda Waller explains the magic of how she made it look like she died in the second story. It's the usual stuff, magic and assassins. Plus she explains that the president has given her permission to use General Zod in her Suicide Squad. Because why not? Nothing can go wrong there as long as she's got a little Kryptonite in her back pocket, right? The Ranking! No change! I totally don't believe Hack is dead! Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on you! Fool me three times, shame on you! Fool me four times, shame on you! Fool me five times, shame on you! Fool me six times, shame on you! Fool me seven times, shame on you! Fool me eight times, shame on you! Fool me nine times, shame on me!

#Suicide Squad #DC Comics #Rob Williams #John Romita Jr.#Eddy Barrows #Richard Friend #Eber Ferreira #Dean White #Adriano Lucas

2 notes · View notes

rain-a-dragomir · 7 years

Text

In Character Survey:

1: What eye color do you find sexiest?

There is something about those deep brown or blue eyes I find to be alluring, filled with so much emotion.

2: White, milk, or dark chocolate mocha?

Well I’m not much of a sweets person but I’d rather have milk chocolate, at least that’s what I think the question is asking. . .

3: If you could get a Sharpie tattoo on your back, what would it be?

I don’t think it’d matter since there isn’t any room on my back for anything else.

4: Did you grow up in a small or big town? Did you like it?

I was born in a large town, but where I grew up was fairly small, quiet, out in the middle of nowhere.

5: Your favorite adult as a child? (and not your parents, if they were your favorite)

Lets see, I’m not sure if I put much thought into that. Maybe looking back I’d might say my old academies principal. Going any further than that is delving into memories I’d much rather let sit and collect dust.

6: What kind of smoothie sounds really good right now?

Oh! Smoothies are awesome! Personally I love anything strawberry! Maybe a Strawberry Banana!

7: Most embarrassing moment from your elementary school years?

Hmm, elementary school embarrassment. . .Might of been when Alexa kissed me in the middle of class. At that time it was pretty shocking.

8: Most embarrassing moment from your middle school years?

Middle school was actually pretty uneventful for the most part, aside from the occasional lunch slip up. You know, tripping and your lunch tray goes flying through the air or something.

9: Most embarrassing moment from your high school years?

Now I wouldn’t exactly call it embarrassing, though it was a bit. I had just so happened to set fire to the school’s swimming pool thanks to a bad batch of fireworks I’d gotten my hands on from one of those roadside stands. Boy did it make a whole lot of noise!

10: Pirates or ninjas? Why?

Pirate Ninja’s!

11: Have you ever climbed a tree more than twenty feet off the ground?

Certainly, who hasn’t as a child?

12: Did you like swinging as a child? Do you still get excited when you see a swing set?

I absolutely did and still do. Even if it might seem a bit childish, I’ll still sit upon a swing if I’m alone and nobody's around. Sit by myself for a bit and quietly swing. Might make for an interesting date.

13: If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?

Any Kind of pet? I’m pretty fond of Bats, more particularly the flying foxes, they’re just too adorable when they snack on fruit!

14: What's your most favorite part of your body?

My favorite part of my own body? Uh. . .Maybe my eyes? Guess I could say something more vain like my chest or something, but honestly that just isn’t me.

15: What's your most favorite part of your personality?

My personality! I’d say it would have to be both my easy going demeanor while still being able to keep a serious attitude when required.

16: Madonna or Lady Gaga? Neither? Both? Who cares?

Ummm What? Don’t think I know either of these people. . .

17: Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through?

Sorry I don’t watch sports, I’d prefer to play them, but even then Football isn’t one of my favorites.

18: Have you ever watched any major sporting event drunk?

I don’t believe getting drunk is necessary to have a good time, besides alcohol doesn’t work on me. My metabolism works too fast.

19: What's the most delicious food you've ever eaten in your life?

Okay now this is a great question! So on my travels I’ve been pretty much all over the states, and tried all kinds of food. Yet the one place I occasionally return to is this small little hole in the wall mexican restaurant that does great pork tamales with mole sauce! Perfect combination of sweetness, and spice that tastes great on your tongue!

20: Margarine or butter? Which did you grow up with?

I really never paid attention, but when I’m cooking, I’ll always use real butter. Just easier. Diet? Who cares!

21: Whole, skim, 1%, or 2% milk? (Did you know they make 1 1/2% milk?)

I usually have no preference on milk to be honest. I’ll either pour it into whatever I happen to be making at the time, or straight into cereal.

22: Which continents have you been on?

Like I’ve said, I do travel quite a bit. Only been in Asia a couple times, wouldn’t mind checking it out in more detail. Both North and South America are pretty much a given. Europe and Australia I’ve also had the pleasure of checking out.

23: Do you get motion sickness? Any horror stories?

Nah, I love car rides and such, no vomiting here, sorry!

24: Backpacks or satchels?

Aren’t they the same? I’ve always just called them backpacks, or backbreakers.

25: Would you wear a rainbow jacket? A neon yellow sweater? Checkered pants?

Well I’m not terribly fond of the whole 80’s fashion sense, or at least I think it was the 80’s. . .

26: What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

We didn’t watch a lot of tv in school, you know the whole boarding school thing. Mostly dorm rooms and mischief.

27: If you had to have a cow or a pig, which would you take? Why?

Umm. . . for what? We talking pets or for food? Pets I wouldn’t know what to go with. In the case of food, Ham all the way! Love ham and Bacon!

28: If you had to look at one city skyline for the rest of your life, which would it be?

There is nothing like a beautiful city skyline, especially as the sun sets and the city lights begin to glow! There was this one place, can’t remember the name. But it was smack dab on the beach, just beyond the buildings you could see the ocean stretch beyond. Occasional ships dotting the water. Truly beautiful.

29: Longest plane ride you've ever been on?

Oh boy! A nineteen hour plane ride. Absolutely the worst ever! One of those people who can’t sit still for periods of time, and boy that trip I was beginning to get claustrophobic.

30: The latest you've ever slept?

Well my sleeping habits are a bit strange. Me being a Vampire and all, I tend to live on a nocturnal schedule unless I need to directly deal with humans, then I’ll adapt to their cycles. But even then there are times I can’t really sleep. Too many things to overthink about. Then again I have slept for an entire twenty four hours.

31: Would you buy a sweater covered in kitten pictures? Would you wear it if someone gave it you for free?

Wow a sweater with kittens all over it. Not sure what I’d think, maybe I’d wear it if my significant other gave it to me. Then again it’d probably be one of those gag gifts.

32: Do you pick at scabs?

Ewww no! Besides, my bodies healing factor works too fast for scabs to form. Thankfully.

33: Favorite kind of bean? Kidney? Black? Pinto?

This is very random. Don’t have a favorite bean, generally just toss em all into a chili pot.

34: How far can you throw a baseball?

Probably much further than the average or above average baseball player, boy wouldn’t it be fun to mess with some of the pro athletes? >:)

35: If you had to move to another country, where would you move?

I’m actually quite fond of Europe, the art, the food, the people, but the place I would move to without skipping a beat would be Venice. The buildings, the canals, the gondoliers singing songs about love in Italian or Veneto.

36: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? Vietnamese? Korean? Nepalese? How was it?

I’ve had Korean, nothing too special though. Completely prefer mexican food.

37: Small, liberal arts school or public university? Why?

I wouldn’t know to be honest, only grew up attending private academies.

38: A relationship with love or one with sex?

I don’t see why a loving relationship can’t have sex in the mix. Granted I don’t want a relationship dominated by just sex, there needs to be a deep connection between the people. God maybe I’m just too mushy when it comes to relationships.

39: Do you eat enough vegetables?

I’d like to think I do! Love being able to saute veggies, listening to the sounds they make sizzling in a splash of oil, and lemon juice.

40: Do you like horror movies? How about thrillers?

Well I’m not much of a horror flick kind of person, mainly cartoons.

41: Would you scratch a crotch itch in public?

Oh come on, there has to be a way to do it discreetly! Obviously I’m not going to reach down my pants and scratch in broad daylight!

42: Do you swear in front of your parents?

Yeah, the last time I did that years ago, my mother slapped me into the next week, then slapped me back into yesterweek. A whole lot of fun that was.

43: Coolest thing you've ever been for Halloween?

Okay so in our society we really don’t celebrate halloween as much, I mean the little ones do because who can resist dressing up like your favorite super hero? But mainly our holiday is Samhain, generally the same, just with less costumes and candy but still for celebration. Old world stuff.

44: If you could change your natural hair color, would you? To what?

I can and have to an extent. Granted I don’t change my hair color to something obnoxious like neon purple. Technically my real hair color is. . .you know that silvery blond? Yup that’s the one!

45: Do you want to get married? Have kids?

Sometime in the distant future I’d like to be able to have kids, granted it might be difficult since well. . . I am gay, so something obviously needs to be figured out, but I wouldn’t mind eventually hearing the pitter patter of feet running into my room on morning trying to wake up their daddies. Little bodies jumping up and down on the bed dressed in little onesies.

46: Do you use a reusable water bottle? If not, you should.

Occasionally, not something that usually is of importance.

47: City or nature person?

Can I say a bit of both? While I love being able to just go out on my own and walk through a field or forest, listening to the sound of nature and breathing the fresh air. While I equally like walking down streets, maybe picking a park or local bar to sit at and just people watch. Maybe take a quick peek at their auras, see what kind of person they are. Their personality based on color. It’s pretty interesting.

48: Have you ever used something other than "makeup" as makeup? (Like paint? Markers?)

Well back in school we did have some sporting events, I guess ‘war paint’ would count.

49: Can you walk well in high heels? Even if you're a guy?

Well now, that isn’t something I’ve tried. I’ve got a pretty good sense of balance, but I have a feeling high heels would be my ultimate downfall. Heh.

50: Post 5 awesome things about yourself. BRAG AWAY!

Wow, five things. . .Why are these so difficult? Ummm. Well I’m a pretty good cook, baking comes just as easy. Despite my somewhat quiet, shy, stoic exterior I’m quite the romantic. Maybe a small mushy love filled card on someone’s desk at work, or a bouquet of flowers. Strangely enough I can do some metal and leather working, mostly as a hobby. Boy I’m really not all that great bragging about myself, maybe I’ll just have to let people find out for their self.

#Rain Dragomir #Survey #Roleplay #Original Character

0 notes