#i think this is in a roundabout way connected to that one post going around i reblogged

[shopcat]

this might sound a bit dumb and out of no where but hmmm. how do i say this... there are a lot of posts and a general consensus about quote unquote media literacy on tumblr and how we feel about it, as well as the things that go hand in hand with all that (discussion of mischaracterisation, symbolism, analysis, etc) and i think people (generally) need to be more open about their thoughts or findings and less i don't know... harsh isn't the word but like, just less assumptive that people are inherently out to be willfully ignorant when it comes to dissecting media thematically or discussing characterisation & the narrative, esp things where the outside factor of the consumer/creator changes things drastically if you do or do not know or experience something (and therefore would have no reason to be like, somehow maliciously interpreting something). i guess?

like i get it and i absolutely understand and also hate when people seem to go out of their way to say all the wrong things and stubbornly cling onto things that are WRONG, and confronting someone's opinion and it being SO wrong that you can comfortably think of a rebuttal is ultimately very satisfying and scratches a certain itch and can lead to a lot of thoughtful discussion despite being essentially a big "get a look at THIS guy". but i do think there is a vast difference between like, a) someone masquerading behind being knowing buzzwords and being able to say the right words in the right order, b) someone who isn't familiar with certain concepts and DOESN'T know the right words to say but is happily open to learning, and c) someone using the guise of talking about "media literacy" to be ignorant, bigoted or willfully misinterpreting something in a biased way who refuses to concede if confronted or goes out of their way to pick arguments. whilst the first two aren't malicious, both could turn out to be, just like the last category tends to be rejects of the first two who dug their heels in about it.

whilst there is a DIFFERENCE if someone was being say bigoted and prejudiced with hateful intent, not being "media literate" is not actually a moral failing as much as it is made out to be in moments of sweeping generalisation, and i think punishing people for not knowing how to hold thoughtful discussion is obviously cruel and dumb and unnecessarily othering. you don't want people to learn things out of a sense of shame or guilt. i know it's not the INTENT, and i don't like, interpret even 99% of discussion about this whole thing that way, but that doesn't change that discussing people very broadly who just Don't Know something is always going to leave the 1% of a LOT of harshness thrown against someone who doesn't deserve that. even if they're the stupidest twitterina known to man or something.

media literacy itself is not inherent and it is HARD, as much as people try to pretend it isn't. personally i am someone who has always and probably always WILL struggle to understand complex themes and often do need someone else to guide me towards thinking a certain way, thinking in these ways don't come naturally to me as much as i try my best to and i often think the "wrong" thing as my natural conclusion. and every Damn time that happens i see someone going "if you didn't realise this you're a fucking idiot" like woah man 😭 calm down. i dunno i feel like people just forget that this stuff is something you have to train like a muscle, esp things like vocabulary or a more complex academic way of speaking, and to some of us that is always going to be inherently inaccessible or it's going to take twice as long for us to grasp, for whatever reason. i just wish people were more fair is all.

#🐾 #esp and i think i'm qualified to say this when it's someone who comes from a very isolated niche of online fandom or whatever. any online #community. who is used to being in that space with likeminded people and then loses their absolute shit when they're confronted with how #the average person thinks. like ohhhh my god calm down it is not that dramatic ever #as much as i like going to war about characterisation or something like that you don't need to be calling people evil and braindead and #stupid bc they didn't Politically Analyse a children's cartoon in great depth #😭😭😭 #anyway ... #i think this is in a roundabout way connected to that one post going around i reblogged #abt media literacy being taught in highschool and people just not paying attention #and i still think that's like unfair as a position to hold bc Again i DIDNT go to high school as in i did Not Attend it #the breadth of my knowledge ends after year 7 #and that's just me. like yeah some people ARE idiots and ignorant and pretend Again like their brains welded shut #but people generally are always open to learning and a lot of people very much Like thoughtful discussion about the arts #and thematic analysis of their favourite shows so they can describe why they like them properly beyond ''i just like it'' #and just really really broadly cutting them all off declaring them hopeless and indirectly declaring yourself smarter than them forever #is ultimately unhelpful. and fucking rude. if they've done or said nothing wrong at least #and even if they did think something wrong like damn that's happened to everyone please.. it happens all the time #there is just this inherent condescending way some people talk that gets on my damn nerves

[adnauseum11]

Bottom Line Up Front (John Price x Reader)

Kate updates John on what her reconnaissance has uncovered.

1k words

CW: swearing, allusion to past sexual assault

feedback welcome!

Kate checks the incoming number on her ringing cell before swiveling away from her computer screen and answering. Her favourite current retiree is checking in, right on schedule, saving her a call. 

“John, how are things?”

“Alright Kate, any news there?” John asks, paused at a stop light after dropping his love off at work. 

“Yeah, actually. Let’s start with if you’re aware that there’s a photo of you and your lady on the internet, shall we?” 

Kate asks, already knowing the answer. 

“What?” 

It gets John’s full attention. He’s navigating back to his love’s place, and nearly misses his turn at Kate’s revelation.

“Yeah, were you at a pub recently?”

“A few.” John stays cagey, unused to his habits off duty being under a microscope. 

“Well, there is one over on Beecher’s Lane using a photo of you and a woman to advertise online.”  

“Ah Christ, I knew that was trouble. She does trivia nights with her mates there.” He says by way of explanation. 

He leaves out the part about her triumphant face at finally making it on to the leader board swaying his better judgement about the photo. Years of scrupulous image control to maintain his professionalism undone a few months into dating. Bloody hell. 

“Well, they scanned it and posted it up. I can see why though, she’s very pretty. Well done, John. I can see why you kept her to yourself.”

“Alright, easy, you’re happily married Kate.” 

John reminds her, a wave of possessiveness sweeping through him. 

“Yeah, married but not dead.” 

“She’s spoken for.” John growls, navigating a roundabout while Kate irritates him from afar. 

“Obviously. I did some digging on my end on the name you gave. It’s come back with some colourful info. He’s ex-army, dishonorable discharged for sexual assault years ago. He’s done contract work in the past; one was with some of Col. Norris’ men. Ring any bells on that name?” 

John’s processing as he drives, a sinking feeling in his gut.

“Of course, you think there’s more of a connection there?” 

John’s memory of threatening the Colonel is clear as day, although it had been years and a long road since that incident. The mention of sexual assault has him tightening his grip on the steering wheel unconsciously. 

“Norris is involved in the contract you turned down, that Gaz is on right now. Not sure yet, it is unusual that there would be a connection for a random B&E. I’m going to keep poking around. Certainly, it feels off. Your instincts remain sound, Captain.” Kate acknowledges John’s talent for uncovering bullshit.

John hums, internally thankful he’s already on his way to his love’s place to poke around and doubly grateful he turned down the contract weeks ago. He adds stopping by the pub to his list of errands.

“He didn’t put up much of a fight when I got there. You say he’s ex-army?”

“Well, personally, I think your reputation may have preceded you. If connection to you is what brought attention on her, they’d be looking to confirm they have the right woman, not rob her. He likely would have known you on sight, probably chose the best course of action to preserve his neck in the moment when the wrong person turned up.”

John’s blood runs cold as he pulls into his love's driveway. He idles in the car, staring at the door and the busted doorhandle, still unfixed, as dread sits like lead in his stomach. John’s done too much to be naïve to the potential outcomes.

“You think someone wants to leverage her against me? Norris?” John’s putting the information together quickly, following instincts.  

“Maybe. You’ve certainly given him no reason to like you, and he could be harbouring a grudge for the way his men were treated. He’s got an ego and a chip on his shoulder. Like I said, I’m going to keep flipping stones. There’s nothing solid there yet.”

John sighs, scratching his cheek before replying.

“Alright, thanks Kate. I’d hate to be right on this, but better to get ahead of it. Maybe let Gaz know something is up, if it’s connection to me they’re after. Better safe than sorry.”

“Already in motion. In the meantime, it goes without saying that I would encourage you to keep her away from the apartment.”

Kate swivels back to her computer, a notification blinking in the bottom corner.

“She won’t be going back. She’s moving out.” 

“You found a place that quickly? Impressive, John.” 

Kate’s tone is vaguely distracted as she reads the incoming message.

“She’s moved in with me.”

There’s a pregnant pause on the other end of the line for a moment. John has a feeling he has her full attention once again.

“Well, I suppose that makes sense, but that’s moving faster than I would have expected from a bachelor like yourself, Captain. What’s next, going to marry her before spring rolls around?” 

John presses his lips together in exasperation. Kate is teasing but there’s a vein of incredulity running underneath her comments that John can hear. He can’t totally blame her; this part of his life had been strictly off-limits. For the exact reason unfolding now, to his immense frustration. From the outside looking in, it would look like sudden madness, he’s sure. On some level, he wonders if it is, a man like him trying to retire into a normal life. 

“I don’t need time to get to know her Kate, I’ve known her forever.” John reminds her.  “Christ, you’re making me miss dealing with Simon. He doesn’t ask this many questions.”

“Who do you think found the photo, John?” 

He finally turns the car off, exhaling into the phone. 

“Jesus Christ, Kate.”

“He was concerned that you were slipping, letting that get posted. He’ll be relieved to know you sniffed this out.”

“Him and I both. Keep me posted on what else you find.”

John’s back to giving orders he’s no longer got any business giving and Kate humours him, the stress in his voice evident to her long-trained ear.

“Rog that, John. You keep yourselves safe until we get more details.”

Next Chapter

Tag list:

@deadbranch @beebeechaos @cadotoast @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00 @chloepluto1306 @batw3nch

#fanfic #call of duty #captain john price #john price x reader #john price cod #john price #friends to lovers #john price x f!reader #john price x you #captain price #kate laswell #reconnaissance

[shima-draws]

More Sanlu headcanons? 👀

ACTUALLY YEAH I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I know Sanji’s going to be absolutely insufferable after spending two years on Momoiro, but I’ve read a lot of fics that flip it and make it so he actually becomes way more comfortable with gender and sexuality in general. Especially being around someone like Iva, who is the queen on everything gender-related! I imagine Iva slaps some sense into him bc he’s definitely got uh. Some issues with his masculinity. And that in turn makes Sanji realize that all this time he’s been chasing after women bc it’s been expected of him, that’s how he was raised, after all. But despite all that the one person he’s been thinking of nonstop isn’t Nami or Robin, it’s Luffy. And Sanji realizes he’s so so SO in love with his captain that it hurts.

Cue Sanji pining HARD for the next two years and helplessly. HELPLESSLY struggling with his feelings for Luffy, almost to the point where he makes himself sick from it. (Iva proudly says that Sanji couldn’t have picked a better man to fall for. Luffy has his approval lol) And Sanji has all these plans and things he wants to say once they meet again, but when they actually DO that all goes flying out the window.

Sanji’s too much of a pussy to work up the nerve to confess LMAO so he decides to go the more roundabout route and drop hints. WHICH finally leads to the idea I had: Sanji not so subtly singing love songs whenever Luffy happens to be in the kitchen while he’s cooking. (He’s really embarrassed about it at first but then it actually becomes pure habit after a while 😂)

The rest of the Strawhats pick up on this pretty quickly, and they think it’s A. Really cute and B. Really amusing. Sanji doesn’t really sing as much if there’s somebody else in the kitchen besides Luffy, but when it’s just the two of them!! Ohh man.

Luffy notices Sanji’s been singing more often but it will probably take him a while to connect the dots lol. Really this just came to mind bc I desperately. Desperately want Sanji to sing La Vie En Rose. And you bet your ass he pours so much of his two year pining into those lyrics that even someone as dense as Luffy notices 🤧

Also I wrote an essay in my tags and decided they needed to be shared directly on the post so yeah here you go

#Sanlu #Lusan #Luffy #Monkey D Luffy #Sanji #Black Leg Sanji #One Piece #OP #Shima answers questions #Thanks for letting me rant at you this has been confined in my brain for too long now lol #Also correction I think the original La Vie En Rose is entirely in French but the version *I* know is translated to English so

[pool-of-gwens]

polywar dating hcs

- I mentioned before that I think Izzy is the one who thinks everything is a date, her preferred love language is quality time so for dates Duke always likes to walk home with her or just sit in a park together

- more often than not they will lose track of time and talk for hours. they never seem to run out of things to talk about either, from that movie Duke watched last night to the dumb meme Izzy scrolled past this morning or even a surprisingly heated debate over the objectively best pokemon (eelektross vs lucario)

- they'll always end up talking in the weirdest places too (like the middle of a roundabout or the elevator to a fancy hotel neither of them have heard of) but they don't really mind or notices when Izzy's hour 2 of her 'why all her partners need to binge watch cowboy bebop on their next movie night' rant or Duke ranking all his fictional crushes (Storm is number one followed closely by Ben 10)

- Duke and Dax have the most similar music taste of any of the group, most of their dates are looking around music store (cuz when your in a poly relationship of five at least one of you collects records) or going to live gigs together. Duke has consistently been to every single frown clown gig (except a few that he missed due to missions). Dax usually invites any of his partners in the audience onto the stage during the last song of every show and at this point any frown clown fans or regulars in the gotham hardcore scene recognise at least one or two members of the polycule.

- even tho Duke and Dax have the most similar music tastes Duke still prefers metal while Dax prefers punk music.

- Duke and Dax's first kiss was definitely at a batman's @#$& concert

- Dre and Duke butt heads most out of all the polycule, they don't really connect in the same way as the rest of the partners, and didn't really consider themselves dating until the polycule had been around for about a year.

- despite this they did work hard to improve their relationship and ended up falling for each other just as they fell for their other partners.

- Duke and Dre's dates are usually in the gym or doing some kind of physical activity, it started with Dre teaching Duke boxing when they were both robins and later Duke showed him fighting combos he practiced with Cass, eventually they started some different sports like rock climbing and trampolining (idk if those are considered sports tho) they always have this level of competition between them that they don't really have with any of their other partners. but it's sorta Duke and Dre's weird brand of love

- i think it was in my last post i mentioned that Duke has the weirdest date ideas, well Riko isn't far behind.

- a lot of the time their dates start out normal. they just rarely stay that way.

- like the time when they planned on having just a regular lunch date and ended up with them in metropolis, head to toe in superman merch and getting storage looks on the bus back to gotham. or that time they tried to recreate iconic kisses from movies and they ended up stuck on the roof of the wayne enterprises building with Harley Quinn and a box set of Powerpuff girls.

- people outside the polycule never believe them when they explain their dates to them but Izzy, Dax and Dre have gotten used to the special brand of chaos that comes with Riko and Dukes dates

#this started as me trying to figure out if duke would like rock climbing and it spiraled so hard #duke thomas #izzy ortiz #dax chill #dre cipriani #riko sheridan #polywar #we are robin #the signal #batman #i also got thoughts about izzy doing her homework while dax tinkers with his grapling hook designs #they arent saying anything #just doing seperate things in eachothers company #i think they have that kind of 'we can sit in silence for hours and its never awkward' sort of relationship

[levmada]

Thank you for responding!

I just remembered another question, you may have broached this topic as well, but I've seen a couple posts floating around that suggest Levi is (on some levels) illiterate.

Personally I don't think current canon Levi is illiterate, but what about Levi in the Underground? There's manga evidence (I believe) that he was at least somewhat exposed to reading (I think I saw a photo of him with Isabel and Furlan with a bookshelf in the background..??).

I can't imagine Kenny advocating for reading when learning survival tactics would be more important by his standards. I think the ability to read is something else that connects Levi to his mother (I haven't see much of anything that would suggest she was a reader), or it was simply a roundabout way of learning another survival skill? ("Knowledge is power"? I.e. having more power over his fate/current situation).

Some of these posts go on to assume the illiteracy spills over into how he writes reports (and that supposedly Hange has to either help him or redo them entirely)

I was curious about how you believe Levi would've approached literacy in his early years.

ugh i’ve gone back and forth on this a couple times😩😩in most of my fics, levi is illiterate when he reaches the surface.

at least, as captain, we know there’s NO WAY he’s illiterate in the present. (and besides, he's seen reading the newspaper in s3 at the end of the uprising. and the labels/books in the basement later).

for a canon reference, it’s said in a smartpass that levi diligently practices his handwriting so that no one knows he’s from the underground. that he has “newspaper level” handwriting. he gets defensive towards Petra when she compliments it😭

you’re absolutely right about the backgrounds. here’s some examples:

clearly farlan knew what he was doing at least😭😭both in the anime and manga, it’s eluded to that farlan is like the ‘co-leader’ that takes care of the money and logistics side of things.

it’s not clear whether levi touches any of that. he IS good (at least competent?) at math though, again like farlan; he did a bit of complex addition in a few seconds.

(sorry i’m just taking the opportunity to post acwnr panels atp…)

math is definitely more important than reading and writing in the underground right? i think the bare minimum reading ability would’ve rubbed off on levi.

KENNY however most definitely didn’t concern levi with that. i mean…😭

i’ve never heard or seen anything connecting kuchel to reading?? pls lmk where you heard that if you don’t mind!! i’m curious.

anyway, it’s canon that levi “learned many things” from erwin around this time of which i must imagine had to do with desk work, knowing levi’s life up to then.

(the account associated with that info has, frustratingly, been deleted since i posted it. i’ll go looking if anyone wants the source)

i’ve never heard the tidbit about hange helping levi with his reports either.

i severely doubt it's real. there’s so many “”””facts”””” out there in the aot fandom, recently i made a long post debunking many and after days of research it’s RLY begun to grind my gears. why can’t this fandom be normal😭that ‘fact’ also sounds like it has shipping reasons behind it, like many others…

anyway, all that said, i do think he was on some level illiterate before reaching the surface.

it’s a mystery for now… but i don’t think kuchel knew how to read. kenny didn’t teach him because it paled in comparison in importance compared to fighting, his image, and so on. if levi could recognize letters grouped together, for instance the names of bars, that was enough.

he picked up on basic math along the way, until farlan came along and it became very important to understand numbers - especially as far as income goes. if not for the sake of the, uh, business levi/farlan were running, in the anime, they were saving up money to go live on the surface with.

((((personal hc but)))) despite his talents, shadis never so much as promoted levi to squad leader during his time as commander. he was too stubborn and stuck in his ways, unable to get past the fact that levi was a thug, and yet had more skill than even their strongest soldier (mike).

when erwin was promoted from captain to commander, he gave levi his position immediately. (which honestly pissed levi off, since he didn’t like the idea of having the lives of a personal squad on his hands…. besides the reading and writing issue.)

erwin would go on to teach levi how to read and write, which levi would go on to master on his own. levi, it seems to me, is the type of person who masters everything he tries, and so with practice and determination, he learns quickly….

you can definitely say he overcompensates because he hates for people to know he’s from the underground. not because of the insults personally, but because it would hurt the SC’s image if captain levi was found out to be a thug before, yk?

that’s my take :)

#levi ackerman hc #levi aot #snk levi #levi snk #captain levi #levi hc #aot hc #levi ackerman headcanons #attack on titan hc #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #rivaille heichou

[fumifooms]

What do you think of Lamari (Laios and Namari)? Both as a ship and the relationship between the two.

I don’t like it sorry broski 😔 Seeing them interacting in ep 9 again made me see the appeal more, it’s cute how they interact, how they trust each other’s abilities and judgement! But ship wise…… I can’t. I’ve been seeing cute fanart of them around though, and I know a few people on discord that like them too. Like hmmm I guess I can see the appeal in the dynamic even if it doesn’t grab me but I can’t form a narrative for them… Usually I need both to truly get into a ship, a dynamic I find fun or interesting + some sort of progression and impact it’d leave on the characters, I don’t really see the character/relationship arc that’d happen, or at least not one eventful enough for me. When it comes to how I think their relationship is during canon, I see it as being professional and hinting at maybe friends, a neutral rather than negative thing mind you.

With Laios, well I’ve spoken about his character and arc before a bunch, but with Namari the part that interests me most is the whole exile thing, how she works hard to fit in both with keeping a good work reputation and shaving, for example, and how she’s not all that good with it because of presumably her bold personality... Because of this and more, and spoilers but I’ve planning on making a rarepair post about it for a while, I like shipping her with Toshiro mainly. I think that she balances out his doormat tendency but his cool attitude would be soothing and grounding and- Well gdbdgdg you see how it is. And to a certain extent I can see why people would want to apply the same logic to lamari, but… I don’t even think Namari and Laios would be able to bond over both being foreigners much tbh, I feel like Laios would sort of remain an odd mystery to her and though they could connect in a weird roundabout way I don’t think they’d exactly understand each other— and see this is the part of lamari appeal I get, the sort of tentative tension of "oh you actually respect me. That feels… Rare. And nice." Thouuugh like I was saying to be fair, it’s true Laios also tries and fails to fit in so that could be an interesting angle to go at it with. I think Namari wants stability and I just don’t really think it complements Laios well. I think trust’s the most important thing with Laios so on his side him liking her enough to be interested or open to a relationship I could see, though in a kinda mild and dry way imo… Like with Laios especially when defining how he and someone fall in love, there are sort of two modes right, and of course these coexist to some degree, but there’s Laios being his partner’s silly goober, and there’s Laios being very mature, more of his subdued stoic but composed self, all king-like, the more like connecting through meaningful conversations side. And idk how to put it into words but with lamari, I feel like Namari being paired with him doesn’t give a fresh spin on the former, and with the latter I feel like they’d always keep missing each other halfway communication wise, I don’t see them ever getting to that level where they deeply intuitively know and understand each other and how they work, maybe Laios -> Namari yes but Namari -> Laios I don’t see it, like I said I think it’d remain like, a mystery that nags at her and she might feel attracted if anything, but I can’t see them as more than casually dating idkk idk.

Namari has that fun ‘gets fired up about what odd things Laios is doing and reigns him back in’ dynamic but it’s something that literally so many other characters have too. I’m not knee deep into Namari yet so who knows maybe I have a wrong angle, but I did start giving her some thoughts bc I have a fic I have in mind for toshimari I wanna do. But yes it’s cute how protective she can get even if it’s shouty or tough love, like how she looks out for Laios’ equipment and for him not to get scammed, or brings in Toshiro here in the convo because she doesn’t want Toshiro to do his conflict avoidance thing and not stand up for himself & stay in the party even if it sucks hah. That bold borderline rude protective personality of hers with that awkwardness with intimacy/non-professional relationships is what’s unique to her I think, but yeah the laios & namari duo strikes me as strangely distant yet strangely interested coworkers who exhange glances over the cashier desk but personally I can’t see myself doing anything with that.

I’m not here to say it’s a bad ship or anything obviously! It just really doesn’t call to me personally and I don’t see stuff with them that I’d find interesting to analyze, if anything it’d involve the wider party a lot. I do want to make a masterpost on Laios’ career history and the old members of his party so I might analyze how Namari and he interact in those pre-canon comics idk. But yeahh like I find nothing to dig deeper at personally, you could make cute fics of them hinting at interest between the two, if Laios went to get drinks with her at a tavern etc etc, but all I see with them is just what canon straightforwardly showed us and I don’t get the urge to explore the possibility of them at all.

Sorry to disappoint, but yeah I won’t be a good source of lamari content or thoughts. I have wayy too many drafts I actually want to get out so I’ll be storing further Laios & Namari analysis for a big maybe, one day. I feel so bad I really hate to be negative at all and as a fellow rareshipper I send u my best wishes truly, good luck y’all deserve fellow stans and content. Feel free to leave pro-lamari arguments in the comments or reblogs if you want idm but preferably not asks (and just don’t be aggressive & don’t expect me to respond/react 🫶) like truly this post isn’t meant as a diss but anon asked me about my personal thoughts so… I love youuu lamaris hope y’all thrive 🙇🙇

Trying to think of crumbs and it’s true she blushed when she saw him in his cape at the end so y’all got that W. Namari having a thing for tallmen is so real

Edit: oh she went with him for equipment shopping… Ok that’s cute

#Ask #Should I tag? I did end up saying some interesting stuff I think but I feel like i shouldn’t since it still isn’t exactly positive #I made a dunmeshi shipping chart… Was hesitating on posting but maybe it’d be kinda useful after all lol #I don’t really want to get asked about any random dunmeshi ship but also if someone gives me an excuse to talk about my rarepairs……. #This isn’t intended as toshimari propaganda btw 😭 I hope it doesn’t come across that way the first mention is bc I think the comparison #gave smth to the convo the second is truly just to describe the moment and how it solidifies her character. #No pitting bad bitches against each other over here #Tried so hard to give you crumbs of analysis and positivity anon I’m sorryyyy i’m sorry OTL I crumble into dust hesitating on posting this #OH ALSO SEAGIRI YOU’RE A LEGEND I LOVE YOU #Lamari fanart and memes are always very cute and fun #No one is allowed to dunk on lamari in the notes of this 🔫 hush haters

[road-rhythm]

hey Roadie! A question I've been curious about for a while, if you feel up to answering: how do you plan your outlines for the long, plot-heavy fics you do?

You've mentioned outlining in advance in your author's notes in the past, and I'm curious about how that process looks for you, because I'm always impressed by how... organic (?) each new development feels. "Organic" is the best adjective I could come up with, but I mean that (at least in Hard Mouth, which as a finished story is easier to see globally) you do a great job of building tension toward what *seems* like it will be the resolution of a problem, and then you throw a wrench in the works so something else takes relevance instead, or else the planned outcome loses a lot of the "this will fix all our problems" McGuffin-ness by the time it comes about because of shifting circumstances, but it doesn't take away tension at all, just keeps reframing the action in cool and intersting ways.

So that's a very roundabout way of saying I love your plotting and do you have any thoughts about how you approach it? Or maybe you'd be willing to tell us about HM and if/how the outline changed? <3

how do you plan your outlines for the long, plot-heavy fics you do?

On index cards, half like a Rubik's Cube and half like solving for x. Except I don't know what shape the Rubik's Cube is going to be, and I can make more blocks for it (but not an infinite number), and "that's hot" is a valid standard of proof in the algebra.

When I start something, I have a constellation of ideas that I want to put in it because they're iddy or otherwise attractive to me. Sometimes these are very specific images or scenes; sometimes they're barely more than a mood. Then I think up ways to connect them. When some number of them are connected, including enough of the ones that need to go at the beginning, I start writing. Then I continue thinking up ways to connect the dots in the constellation and think up more dots to put in along the way and then also think up ways to connect the new ones and in the process move all of the dots around, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Then I write more and also plan more and keep doing those things until I finish. Really it isn't any deeper than that, I'm afraid.

The final output of that process is a first draft that ideally should then get edited into some best version of itself, but which in practice ends up standing as-is because life is short and while my interest in the final shape of the stories is not zero, it is at a level that makes things like editing optional. Nowadays when writing fanfic I yeet installments without reading them more often than not, which I do occasionally regret, but not enough on balance to stop. I do ninja-edit a lot of sentence-level stuff after posting; e.g., at this point I have actually read Hard Mouth pretty much all the way through and have ironed out the highest-intensity cringe bits in the prose (I hope). But there's no help for the structural things, because they would take a lot of work to fix and I don't care enough to do it. Like, I care about being able to tell that they're there, I think? I care about the attempt to say something I mean, I care about saying what I mean as faithfully as possible, and I care about saying what I mean as effectively as possible. But I care in that order, and "faithfully" and "effectively" are not always congruent, but whatever, this is a very long digression. I have neither the lifespan nor the attention span to edit my fanfic, but I would if I did.

(If I were selling original work, the editing phase would be non-optional and therefore I would do it. Attention span factors would still make it difficult, but those can be pushed through to a positive result.)

TL;DR index cards & vibes

#asks #writing in general

[saltymongoose]

Hi, this is an Incomprehensible anon. Let's assume that the naive soul of the Player does not understand the hints of the boys and does not consider them in a romantic way. Imagine this picture: Boys almost directly say that they want something more Player: Do you want to be my brother!? I've never had a brother! Now we are one family! Boys through an inner cry: Yes

Hi Incomprehensible Anon, I like this idea a lot. Oblivious readers are pretty common in yandere fiction, but that's just because they're so entertaining lol (or relatable in some cases too). For you, the boys might just be really nice, for no discernible reason (at least to you). Romance is the last thing on your mind, so you don't take note of their lingering glances or the way they seem to seek out physical contact. Nor do you really have any reaction to when their touches seem to go on for a few moments longer than most would consider normal, or how they seem to crave your presence, praise, and affection in a way that's more than strictly platonic.

You might even think that the idea of them wanting a closer connection with you is ridiculous. You're their Player, sure, but why would they pursue something with you of all people? Wouldn't they want someone like themselves in life experiences, or even another grunt, for that matter? And why would they have these feelings to begin with? You haven't known them that long (at least in person), and surely they've got more to worry about than getting with anyone, with the whole Nexus Core and Machine business. The thought of them wanting something more is too outlandish for you to think about, so you don't.

Though this just means that when they do tell you that they want to have a closer relationship in a roundabout way, perhaps testing the waters for their real confession to you, you just assume they want to be closer friends. Best friends, or family, even. Much to the boy's complete disappointment. (They do adore you and would like to be closer regardless, but not in that way!)

(You get the feeling that what you said was odd for a moment, when their grins pinched into a grimace for a split second before they relaxed. What's so bad about what you suggested? Didn't they want to be close friends with you?)

[Also, just a note. All asks related to 9.5 Part 2 will be answered beginning this coming Saturday, figured I'd give y'all around a week as to avoid spoilers. You can send in as many as you want whenever you want, mind you, they just won't be posted until then. :) They'll also be tagged with "9.5 spoilers" as well in case some of y'all don't have the time to watch it by then haha. <3]

#tw: yandere #the boys: I want to be more than friends. 👉👈 #you being oblivious: oh you mean best friends? Sure besties 😄 #I saw your most recent ask and don't worry #I didn't receive any messages in other languages so you're good on that lol #ask #incomprehensible anon #i ❤️ anons

[peronasghosts]

I would LOVE to hear the zoro lecture

zoro lecture!! not three hours long bc i value my time & sanity but it is unplanned 👍 like all of the posts here at transdykezoro

actual ramble is under the readmore. bc it got LONG.

ok so zoro is fascinating as a character to me bc he’s got three main factors directing his behavior: his grief and subsequent extreme loneliness, his refusal to ever be the weakest person in any given place, and his pattern of being incredibly devoted. take into consideration i am only just finishing skypeia

his grief and loneliness are fairly easy to spot. it’s the root of his dream, and why he follows luffy in the first place. however!! it also shows up in other places.

the first example that i can think of is when nami went back to arlong park. luffy is certain that she’ll come back with them, that she wants to be with them.

zoro isn’t.

zoro consistently casts doubt on luffy’s confidence, and switches from liking and being friendly with nami to acting like he hates her.

you might be asking how this connects to his grief and loneliness. it does, albeit in a roundabout way.

don’t take this next section as fact, because i’m a teenager and not a psychologist. but judging from how zoro was a kid when kuina died (and he was already an orphan), and a young teenager when he started bounty hunting, he’s definitely traumatized. and his particular trauma is caused by his grief.

grief, especially when the death happens when you’re a kid, changes the way you see the world and how you see other people. based on his past, i’d say that zoro probably made that huge switch with nami partially because of her betrayal (sadness can appear like anger, but he still didn’t trust her as much after as far as i remember) and partially because he has a history of losing people. at least subconsciously, her betrayal made more sense than her coming back.

the next instance in which his grief shows up is when robin first joins the crew. nobody really trusts her (for good reason imo) but zoro is the one who goes on record multiple times (in the manga) in saying that he’s keeping an eye on her and will fight her if she tries to betray them.

but he trusted luffy instantly! so what’s the difference here?

the one that i see is that while robin made her first impression as a mysterious, cunning enemy, luffy’s first impression was him being dumb, annoying, and brave as hell. and also - luffy found zoro at a moment where zoro was unimaginably lonely. he’s not with johnny and yosaku, and seemingly hasn’t been for a while. he’s been traveling around east blue for a while mostly on his own, following the traumatic deaths of three people close to him.

yes, luffy technically blackmailed him, but zoro was kind of in a place where he’d take any chance that still allowed him to follow his dream. luffy understood that, and accommodated that. because he’s luffy

robin came in as an enemy and an ally to someone who mocked and almost killed luffy. and, importantly, she came in when zoro was experiencing something he hadn’t in a while - a stable, committed friend/family group

trauma also makes people hypervigilant. hyperviligance is when you’re basically always in some level of survivor mode. zoro’s in the grand line, a place he can’t survive in without his crew, and his emotional survival depends on his crew’s (mainly luffy’s) survival. robin is a threat to that. of course zoro trusts her the least

going onto the second motivation. it actually stems from the first one in that it’s rooted in his promise to kuina, but that’s normal for zoro.

zoro needs to be the strongest, or on par with the strongest, in any given situation he’s in. this changes a bit with luffy’s protagonist-ness but i think that zoro perceives himself as only a slightly worse fighter than luffy. and he’s fine with that bc it’s luffy.

in my opinion, it’s because zoro thinks that if he can’t win against someone who’s not a swordsman, how versatile is he? and if he loses to a swordsman, then he’s not on track to being the best, and then he’s not keeping his promise to kuina, which is i think his way of keeping her in his life

this factor in his behavior doesn’t stop when he’s not fighting, it’s spread to other parts of his life. i think that’s because zoro’s had a very unstable life so far, and so he controls what he can to make it more stable for him.

a side effect of all of this is that zoro seems incredibly masculine (in the traditional sense that i grew up with. i’m a white usamerican btw). this has inspired admiration and envy of some male fans. but also a not small amount of lesbians love zoro, and relate their experiences to him (like me) (from what i can tell).

i think you can kind of compare zoro to sanji and find out why. sanji’s masculinity, to me, seems incredibly performative. he’s in love with every girl he sees, he’s the one that’ll protect them, he wears a full suit on a tiny ship, but that’s not who he is when no one’s watching imo. sanji’s masculinity seems externally motivated.

zoro’s masculinity is rooted in his promise to a female friend he had when he was young. it’s incidental. his hair is short because it’s economical and easier and he’s muscular because he needs to be strong and likes being strong. it’s an internally motivated behavior, and seems like he’s just being himself. i think that that idea is very relatable to a lot of queer people and aspirational to a lot of cis guys (although maybe i’m giving some of them too much credit)

the third and final driving factor of zoro’s behavior is his loyalty. he’s perpetually loyal to kuina, and has been for about a decade. he changed his life for her when he was a preteen. that’s loyalty.

but now, he’s also intensely loyal to luffy. his loyalty to luffy and his loyalty to kuina sometimes come into conflict, but that hasn’t had a big impact yet, but i am excited for that possibility

#aaaahhh i’m sorry it took me so long to respond #as you can see it got long #one piece #orangetasteslikefruit #leon gets asks #hm should i put this in the main tag... #why not #roronoa zoro

[sevilemar]

Hi Sevi. Self focused lion priorities vs a burned snake with me and mine first, aka only me mostly, my goals, my ambitions. Is there a drawing line? Where could one stop and another begin? Also, how did you experience snake burning if I might ask?

I don't think you can distinguish one from the other just looking at them as they are right now. A lion who believes that the right thing to do is caring about themselves, and a snake who thinks the same, there's no difference here. To find that, we have to go backward or forward in time.

For snakes, this will never change. We will always put ourselves first. We might learn to put our people second, or even first on occasion, or we might not. But we will always be up there. A lion might not. There are few things as changeable as life, and even if it takes a long time and is very painful, lions have been known to change their beliefs as they mature. Look for these changes, look for the pain and guilt that comes with it, and you've found your lion.

As for me, I've been burned by first loosing my dad, and then by repeatedly loosing my persons to life's changes. When my dad died, and my mum flat-out told me she would have committed suicide if it wasn't for me and my siblings, something fundamental in me broke, and the world was a much colder place after that.

When I had to cut out one of my persons, and two left to build families elsewhere, I couldn't get over it for more than seven years. My world was getting smaller and smaller, I became depressed, had trouble finishing university, and ultimately thought about ending it a few times myself. I pushed my friends away, I never called my siblings, I lied to my mum about how I was doing. I could not let anyone new into my circle, let alone open myself up enough for someone to become my person again. Still can't.

It was like that lack of true, honest connection and the grief over my dad and my persons was festering inside me, poisoning my whole life, and I didn't even know why everything was getting harder and greyer by the day. It took me years to realise what was wrong, and by that time, the only person I didn't manage to push away was my mum, who I saw in person about once every two years. They were lonely, miserable years.

I am working myself out of all that right now, have been for a while. Part of it is shc, because it is infinitely easier to trust faceless strangers on the internet than real people around me. And I know at least one or two of mine are reading these posts as well, so in a roundabout way, I'm reaching out to them and trying to mend a few bridges.

#sortinghatchats #lion primary #snake primary #ask answers

[selfshipseaside]

This is a follow up on the cultural pet peeve post, cus I honestly didn't expect so many people to see it! I'm glad though, There are huge problems in this community that most people often ignore, it's good to discuss.

I wanna mention that though I'm native, I'm also white. I understand my place of privilege with that alone. I speak on native issues and am very culturally involved, seeing as I barely see any indigenous self-shippers and was only made aware of the few who were talking under my post! (Hewwo I'm very glad you're around <3) . I like bringing these topics up because though I'm not a person of color, parts of my family very much are (mom and grandma) and I grew up in that space, out on a reservation, I'm native, it's who I am. I find it's incredibly important in every space including niche communities to discuss and make sure we aren't ignoring HUGE issues. Speaking up about it and letting others say their piece is vital. I don't understand how this community got so-- well. Bad. At every turn I see something very insensitive, blatantly racist, or someone is culturally appropriating something and engaging in harmful micro-aggressive behaviors and language. Lots of red flags, if you ask me.

Now, I don't like talking blood quantum because that concept is very uh...colonizer, to say the least. It's used to oppress lots of individuals and still is a huge active issue today. I saw one individual in the tags say that though they are mixed and indigenous, they felt like they didn't have a say in the topic about native people. I wanna just say that **all native and indigenous people are valid, and no matter your upbringing and blood quantum, you are allowed to connect to your culture and have a say in it at any stage of your life**. So to that individual, you are absolutely allowed. Blood quantum is a harmful thing to keep us down, you're always welcome. There are many very specific and nuanced topics to be had when it comes to being native, a lot of people think that if you are white or white passing you cannot be native. This is incorrect. Colonization had breached so many individuals and so many tribes.

My lovely partner, blood quantum-wise, is primarily native, they look native, but were not raised native. Due to colonization she doesn't know what tribe she's connected to and feels unable to connect to that part of herself because of that. It's not fair, and definitely not fair when other people say that because she's white-passing, that she's suddenly not native. It's honestly ridiculous, but I wanna assure all of my fellow natives that you are valid and completely allowed to connect to your culture.

And I know I just said all natives are valid despite blood-- but I will say though, this isn't an invitation for the 0.3 per centers who think their great great great great grandma was a Cherokee princess to think they have a say in the matter, as an actual member of the Cherokee (Tsalagi) tribe, you thoroughly disturb me. Be respectful. That kinda attitude is what gives us a terrible, terrible reputation and buries our actual practices amongst fraudulent crafts and artistry sold as novelty. Though in a roundabout way, it's kinda funny. I'm white, and my grandma is Cherokee. Though the difference is, my grammy isn't a princess. That was most definitely not a thing for us Cherokees. Also-- we didn't wear war bonnets (Headdresses), we wore turbans (the men did, at least). Just a little fun fact for you all. (also a cute fact, today when I saw my grandma for Christmas, she saw my hair growth and how long it was getting, and called it my blanket <3 crying)

Anyways, my point is here is that I wanna thank everyone who did respond and will continue to. I read every last one, and it's honestly terrible to hear what y'all have seen and gone through, but important to know.

People can be so grossly uneducated and downright oppressive. I wanna say that THAT part of the community is not welcome here. If you are not going to respect others, you do not deserve to be catered to. If you are not a person of color or apart of a certain culture, you have no right to dictate how people feel due to your irresponsibility and negligence on profiting (whether emotionally or financially) off of culture that doesn't belong to you. Uplift others. Stay in your lane. You have plenty of them.

#Marnie talks ✦ #soz for the long post #just wanted to say that! i have lots to say about native stuff in particular

[variousqueerthings]

okay okay some trans guy daniel vibes

3. After Highschool

I extend my continuous wishes and deepest gratitude at any and all trans!daniel headcanons sent my way/tagged with this blog 🥰

light cw for very mild mention of what daniel's and silver's relationship might have been

also this one's just a tad sadder, sorry

1. the trials and tribulations of his first karate mishaps continued after highschool, as we know

2. those times sucked -- however, neither Chozen, nor Kreese and Silver knew that he was trans, so the ways in which they sucked weren't directly related to being outed, although in a vaguer sense, they affected him just as intensely...

2.5 (alternatively, if Daniel was really drawn into Silver's net and/or Daniel thought he was in love, there's the possibility that he told him, which is potentially terrifying and is going to be its own dark-post musing)

3. he told Kumiko during the months they were rebuilding Tomi village, in a roundabout, stuttery way, because hell, he didn't even have much of an official language for it and then to simplify what he wasn't even really practised in talking about in the first place (the only people he'd ever "told," he realized in that moment, were Ali and Kumiko), but -- like so much else between them -- they always had a communication that worked beyond simple words

like with Ali, that was never the problem. unlike with Ali, he thought he might have been ready for this relationship. this time around it was just life that decided it wasn't gonna work out. the heartbreak was tinged with the fear that many people have that something good and deeply understood cannot be replicated again, but for Daniel it was the growing knowledge that every relationship he was ever going to have would need to include some kind of "Moment Of Acceptance"

and that was a sort of grief all on its own. to think that he had to prove that worth over and over again, for something that was just who he was -- that he, Daniel, wasn't enough as he was

4. what he learned from the 85' tournament was, as we know, that you couldn't trust that men had good intentions towards you. after that year he would start to become alienated from trying to form deep bonds with most people for 35 years.

this -- in connection with being trans -- had its ups and downs.

He continued to form a masculinity that felt authentic to him, but he was also incredibly lonely, and struggled with the idea of what being a man is supposed to be like in the company of other men (if only he and Johnny had been friends huh). there were individuals - like Miyagi, or the nameless boy he kissed one time he was in a gay bar, but straight, cisgender - although obviously that term wasn't around in the late 80s/early 90s - men weren't people he had a lot in common with, and gay and bisexual men... well, growing up in the 80s didn't really inspire him to create those connections for several reasons

there was also an added impetus to be straight: if you wanted any kind of medical support, you had to "prove" you were a heterosexual (see, Lou Sullivan). Daniel liked women, and was afraid of men. the Gay Rights movement wasn't for him, as far as he was aware, and there was very little support for community finding as a transsexual (at the time and for a long time later, it was encouraged to assimilate, read: not try to find other trans people, and the Gay community wasn't uniformly trans-inclusive)

5. these were the years were Daniel cemented who he was going to be for the next long, long time. still vibrant, still friendly, still attempting - always - to offer kindness, but withdrawn from creating deeper community connections with anyone

6. he also had - over a prolonged period of time - top and bottom surgeries, and got on T.

7. (his girlfriend at the time thought this moustache was charming, and she was right)

8. he was never out at any of his workplaces, and he possessed enough charm for five men, so getting on the up-and-up when he started to work at his first car dealership was easy for him. in that space he was able to feel accomplished

9. in many ways he did succeed in becoming the man he wanted to be. but this was also the time when he learned how much closeness and companionship he would have to sacrifice to simply be

10. he would never, ever forget those events that shaped the opening salvo of these years, but he would -- with time -- feel that ache lessen, in the same way the grief over his father's death had lessened

11. and one day, he met Amanda...

#trans daniel larusso #daniel larusso #cobra kai #the karate kid #kumiko #closeted stealth daniel is something that can be so personal #i sort of purposefully bypassed some terry silver musings because honestly i think that's ALL it's own post #btw i think he started at a new dealership and met amanda there #and she was like *oh no WAY is this guy gonna break my streak/one-up me/etcetc I've worked too damn hard* #so it's the familiar first rivalry instinct -- but then because she's not an idiot unlike SOME she's like... well I could just fuck him #my cousin vinny macchio is THE most trans vibes macchio of all the macchios

[castielcommunism]

Hi I've been wanting to ask someone this for quite a while and I think you're the right person cause I love your interpretation of cas. I wonder if you could give me your view of how cas took it when dean called him his brother in s11.

Before the sacrifice, when they were saying their goodbyes, after talking to sam, dean comes to talk to cas but they didn't have their hug right there (did they even talk then? If not, what could have been their interaction?). It seemed a bit off. As if cas kind of closed himself up first but then felt guilty and so interrupted dean's talk with chuck to hug him. And dean is like Okay Okay and then has the Talk. Why didn't they just have the talk and the hug before dean went to chuck? (I'll send you the reference videoi, didn't know we can't upload a video for asks.)

Anyway, following this, the entire of s12, cas was behaved kinda pissed, Lost, trying to find a new purpose, suicidal. I don't mean to ask if it's because of being brozoned cause cas in general is kinda like that, but I've just been wondering what all actions of cas were a result of (or atleast being partly affected by) dean calling him his brother. Hope to hear your thoughts on this but theres absolutely no pressure 💜

thank you!! and honestly sorry, but I don’t have too many thoughts about that specific interaction. like I’ve seen joke posts about how Cas looks like an abandoned puppy after Dean calls him brother and I think that’s pretty much the case.

and like there’s a weird thing going on where Dean situates Cas in the Highest Tier of Friendship (calling him family), but in s12 Cas says to Mary I don’t know if I belong here. so like I think Cas just took the comment to generally mean that Dean considers him to be a close friend, but that doesn’t mean he strictly “belongs” with the Winchesters, and it definitely means that romantic stuff is off the table (which Cas takes as a rejection, even if that’s not actually the case, because Cas has never broached the subject with Dean).

in general the way I approach spn, especially later seasons, is very selective and vibes based. like I find taking everything as a single cohesive linear story to be very frustrating because it takes for granted a lot of the weird miserable baked in dynamic in tfw that was cemented in carver era. big plot stuff is often not addressed, or addressed very dismissively/quickly (like the aftermath of the MoC arc for example), so my response to that is to basically be like, okay well if the show doesn’t think this is emotionally important than I won’t either. which is a roundabout way of saying I don’t have too many intelligent thoughts about the transition from the s11 finale and bro comment to Cas being detached and distant in s12. That’s not to say there’s no connection (I think you made a good one!), I just personally don’t have a lot of thoughts about it. And laying all my cards on the table, most of my attention and energy for s12 goes towards Mary and Dean because that’s the emotional core of the season. So I don’t like “ignore” Cas or anything, but I don’t use s12 to read a lot into his character if that makes sense.

I think Cas accepted that Dean only ever thinks of him as a friend a long time ago, so while the brother comment still stings, it’s not especially surprising to him. I prefer late seasons destiel getting together, but that’s moreso because the main cast has a more established friend group, and s12 especially makes for a good “fresh start” with a lot of their relationships with each other because of Mary’s sudden introduction into their lives. Like I think it makes Dean re-evaluate the relationships he has with the people around him, it makes him reconsider the relationship he had with this father, and it gives him a come-to-jesus-esque moment where he realises that he needs to like, work through some stuff and let go of a lot of emotional baggage so that he can be happier and healthier with the people he loves. Which leads to him and Cas getting together!

Anyway I feel like this is probably a very unsatisfying answer sorry lol. Feel free to reply/send more asks if I didn’t answer your question, this is kinda rambly and all over the place

#deancas.txt #asks

[omwriter]

Some Character Thoughts

[in regards to Belphegor]

Happy Valentine's Day, I don't. Have ROMANTIC content per say, but this should contain discussion of Familial Love .. and we've evolved enough as a collective society to have today be about all sorts of love, right? Right,

My.. notes?

These might be an unpopular opinion. Fair enough, I just wanted to address that.

This will, unfortunately, look a bit like a written variation of the Pepe Silvia meme. Apologies in advance.

I might ...? Do more of these? Or even more parts to this one? We'll see. Would like to know if anyone cares for this sort of thing. (Though that won't exactly affect whether I do more or not.)

There are spoilers for chapter 16, in case thats a concern. Also mentions of death.

I find that while quite a few will tap into other aspects, one aspect I don't really see is Belphie's love for his family and the lengths he will go for them.

(Interestingly enough, this is a similar thing I've noticed when looking for content about Lucifer.)

Yes, Belphie killed MC because he hates humans. Yes, he only really started warming upto them after learning about their connection to his sister.

But I haven't really seen the connecting of dots between "Belphie went to the point of killing MC, and after all the obstacles put in front of him" and "Belphie hates humans because he believes his sister is dead because of one".

Or rather, those two points have been made but . Not the points in between? Or the points after? (?)

Belphie hates the humans he once loved so much because of his sister's death... and feels a big enough type of way about a human being in close proximity to his brothers to the point of plotting their death.

(Anger? Fear? A mix of both?)

(Is this making sense...? In other words..) Belphie, the Avatar of Sloth, the lazy demon that sleeps through most everything and is smart without really trying, went through the effort of plotting MC's death after being locked away. Not for himself, but because he felt some Big type of way about his brothers interacting with humans, a feeling(or feelings) probably influenced by his belief that the root of his sister's death was a human.

...What I'm trying to say is that he cares about his family to the point of expending this sort of effort to keep them safe and with him. (Time and again with Belphie actual effort put in = care.)

('Why are you saying it in this weird roundabout way?' I'm trying to be open about subjective details haha. 'Isn't this whole post subjective?' ... I SUPPOSE!)

Backtracking a bit, I also don't see alot of mileage out of "Belphie loved and was fascinated by humans"? Though, to be fair game canon kind of threw that in and then didn't do much of anything with it.

(Very odd.. my first thought when considering it was .. "Belphie loved and was fascinated by humans.. surely he would have been the perfect person to put in charge of looking after MC for their student exchange program if he hadn't been locked away? As long as they were both watched carefully.. or even if they weren't wouldn't it be interesting if-")

(Maybe this should have been a post about my contemplations on that divergence of the timeline. Haha.)

(.. did you really stick around to the end here? Ok. A Note. Do I think Belphie is completely redeemed in killing MC? Not really. However, I do think there's more nuance on the hows and whys and whats that I hope others can consider as well!)

(I'm kinda open to discussion.. however I also acknowledge that again, I don't think I'm in the majority 😅 so quite a few things I've found I just don't agree with when reading them.. this to say that don't let me discourage you from differing HCs!)

#obey me! shall we date? #obey me shall we date #obey me! #obey me #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #obey me headcanons #obey me headcanon #obey me hcs #obey me hc #om hcs #mod om hcs

[palmett-hoes]

per your post "every single one of the monsters is autistic and/or adhd" will you elaborate on that?, if you do i will love you forever (not that i wont if you dont do it)

oh boy i would love to!!! unironically nothing brings me more joy than writing long, convoluted character analysis posts

---

okay so i’ve written several posts before about why andrew is autistic. his moral code, the roundabout way he communicates, his body language, his stimulation-seeking behavior, his strict adherence to transactional deals, the emphasis on honesty, and a dozen other details. at this point i just take andrew being autistic as fact, not just an interpretation

h o w e v e r  i also hc that andrew is dyslexic, which is also a neurodiverse condition

- - -

similarly, i’ve seen more than one person interpret kevin as autistic, and i absolutely agree that it fits. not just the hyperfocus on exy but mostly the way he communicates. he’s very indirect, especially in his affection but very direct with his opinions. he tries to be helpful in a material way to the people he cares about, even if he comes off as negative. he wants the people he cares about to be safe and successful so he pushes them to work hard and reminds them in measurable ways how to stay healthy. he doesn’t factor in a lot of room for emotions, so instead he focuses on quantifiable things that he can improve. i personally act very similarly. approaching someone emotionally is hard for me, so when the people i care about have problems all i can think to do is try offering solutions, check up on their well-being, etc. practicality instead of conventional sentiment is extremely common with asd

- - -

so now let’s talk about neil. i had to think on this one for a WHILE but ultimately came to the conclusion that neil is adhd, probably hyperactive type. 

like obviously neil is high energy. i would say he probably does the most exercise of anyone on the team. morning run, morning practice, afternoon practice, night practice with kevin and andrew, plus he doesn’t have a car so he runs to class (on a BIG ass campus), and goes for an extra run when he feels stressed. that’s... insane, honestly.

neil reminds me SO MUCH of this post that goes:

“Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood”

(phenomenal post) and that’s neil to a t. tell me this isn’t exactly how neil handles his problems and also exactly what mary would have had to do to keep her unmedicated and very energetic son focused on the task of staying alive

neil also definitely has that ADHD on/off switch with his interest. the obvious being exy which is like the definition of a hyperfixation, but you can see it in other things: the way he runs totally hot or totally cold with people, his complete disinterest in his schoolwork, the way he can’t seem to sit still long enough to follow movies. but then there’s also the hyperfocus. doing the same drill for hours on end. watching exy game after exy game. staring at andrew until time falls away

what’s more, neil on many occasions shows racing thoughts, both in an anxiety way (and anxiety often goes hand-and-hand with adhd) but also as a way to quickly and accurately take in details about people to build a character profile of them. this is what allows him to connect with the foxes, how he manages to get through andrew’s puzzles, and even how he knows what to say in order to knock riko down a peg. his brain just works so fast and it takes in a lot of very specific details and disparate information to make connections.

but also like,, neil has a HUGE problem with time blindness. like the instant he didn’t have his mother around to manage and direct him anymore he lost all sense of time. he stayed in Millport for a YEAR. and what did he keep telling himself during that time? basically “i really need to move on, but not just yet.” for a YEAR! then he gets to palmetto and he’s like “i’ll cut and run in a month or two” then he doesn’t “i’ll be gone by halloween” wrong again “i’ll leave by the raven’s game” nope. like,, the boy just has NO sense of time and he can’t seem to make himself DO anything outside of an externally enforced schedule. and even then,,, HE HAD 48 FUCKING DAYS TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO DO TO NOT GET MURDERED! 48 WHOLE DAYS. he didn’t make a plan, he didn’t write down any letters with goodbyes, he didn’t GO TO THE FBI LIKE HE’D INTENDED TO THE WHOLE TIME! nah he just made out with andrew and when he finally got to zero he was just like “ah shit, that was fast. oh well guess i’ll die” and that’s time blindness, babey!

---

let’s move on to nicky. 

now i think it would be really easy to say nicky is just adhd because he’s high energy and forgetful but tbh,, i don’t think that’s all of it. like if you really look at nicky’s character and especially at his problems, he has asd problems just as much as he has adhd problems.

so nicky is dual diagnosis asd and adhd. also nicky reminds me a lot of a girl i used to know who was autistic/adhd

so, adhd:

very generally speaking, ppl with adhd will struggle with sitting still, listening to and following instructions, planning/organization, following a schedule, and some social boundaries like “appropriate” times and topics of conversation

i would say you see hints of this with nicky. he’s definitely a rambunctious personality, constantly on the move, constantly stimulation seeking. he’s very tactile. he likes to dance, he likes to party, he complains about it but he’s an elite-level athlete. he’s also decidedly very chatty, and doesn’t seem to really pay attention to what he’s saying. he distracts himself and the people around him have to keep him on track. he has some trouble with boundaries. he’s a little all over the place. he’s almost a bit of an adhd stereotype

also one thing i find interesting is that when neil sees him in the library doing work neil is surprised to see he’s capable of that, especially bc when we see the upperclassmen doing work they generally do it in their dorms or on the bus and/or with other people around. that hyper-social nicky would be alone in a quiet place is weird. but this is like the most common tip for dealing with adhd. don’t do it in a familiar space. have a designated space and time to do work. limit distractions. just a lil detail

so now, asd:

in all honesty, most of nicky’s actual problems in the narrative could be viewed as stemming from asd symptoms. his number one issue being that he has a lot of trouble with nonverbal cues (and tbh, verbal ones too). the twins are mostly quiet. andrew especially (when he’s sober) communicates primarily nonverbally, and nicky seems to have a lot of trouble with this. despite knowing them for the longest on the team, nicky honestly seems to have the least insight into the way either of the twins actually thinks or processes things. he loves them, and he’s very forgiving of them, but he fundamentally doesn’t understand them. 

the twins, andrew especially, put up a LOT of nonverbal boundaries, and nicky sort of inadvertently keeps trampling all over them. he’s touchy in a way they don’t like. he talks a lot about their personal lives to other people. he treats them like they’re joking when they’re serious. etc. and like,,, you kind of get the sense that the upperclassmen feel similarly about him. beyond the homophobia, beyond the fact that he’s loyal to andrew, the upperclassmen still treat him with this sense of,, bafflement, i suppose? it’s clear that they don’t really understand him and he doesn’t really understand them. although, nicky IS curious about the upperclassmen, while the upperclassmen are pretty dismissive of him. it reminds me of when my sweet, floppy dog tries to play with my cat. their body language is different; they’re each receiving different signals than they believe they’re sending out

only,, nicky loves people!! he likes being around them, he likes talking to them. he’s interested in their lives and stories, but it’s very clear that he can’t read between the lines on people. he has an incredibly hard time with people who expect their actions to speak for them, which is most people, but is especially his cousins.

actually this is very much also an issue that i have: things need to be spelled out for me. the way i deal with it is i ask a lot of questions. ‘how do you want me to react to this potential situation?’ ‘what are specific things that make you most comfortable?’ ‘please explain to me exactly how you feel and what has prompted those feelings?’ and i’m always communicating vice versa like that with other people. a lot of specifics in both questions and answers

and the interesting thing is, when i was skimming through the books reviewing dialogue styles for another ask, i noticed that, actually, nicky DOES do this. with neil and the upperclassmen, nicky asks a LOT of quick, clarifying questions. things that ask after tone, that ask after intent. it’s kinda sad that he does this for communicating with acquaintances, but with the twins, the people he’s closest to, he makes a lot more assumptions. and i’m really proud of nicky for having this coping skill, because i can’t imagine it’s something he grew up doing. there’s no way he was raised in an environment that fostered this kind of open communication so it must have been something he learned about much later, probably in germany with the kloses, which would also explain why he’s a lil imperfect about it

---

now last but not least, aaron

this is another one i had to think through for a long time before it felt like it fit

much like how i felt that it would be easy to read nicky as simply adhd rather than also asd, i think it would be easy to say aaron is autistic simply because he is quieter, less rambunctious. however, i actually think he’s adhd, likely primarily inattentive type

in all honesty, aaron’s #1 character trait for the first two books is basically that he’s disconnected. detached. separated both from his family and his team. not in the same forcefully apathetic way that andrew is, more,, spaced out. he’s just kind,, there. not really paying attention to what’s going on, tuning in every once in a while only if something really catches his eye/ear then tuning right back out again. just sits in his corner and plays on his phone. and the thing is, from the moments when he does tune in, you can tell that he actually does care. he backs nicky when seth insults him in tfc, and we know he cares deeply about andrew even if he’s become disillusioned with their fraught relationship. he even hangs with his family, doesn’t seem to really try and slip away to other friends besides katelyn, he’s fine spending his leisure time with the monsters. so it’s not totally apathy, he’s just,,, tuned out most of the time

and, yea, that sounds like adhd. it’s not the type that most people are familiar with, and for a lot of people this causes it to slip under the radar. it can make it hard to get help or a dx because it doesn’t fit with how adhd “should” look or how someone “should” act, but difficulty focusing your thoughts and staying in tune with the current moment is absolutely part of adhd

addiction is also a huge problem for people with adhd. a lot of stimulants affect people with adhd very differently than neurotypicals, especially in small doses, and an adhd kid who’s struggled their whole lives with the disorder might try speed or god-forbid meth or fuck even coffee and suddenly find that things are a lot easier for them. they start to self-medicate, they don’t actually know what they’re doing, and then they’re addicted, and everything spirals out of control. we don’t know too many details about aaron’s addiction other than that his mother enabled him, but wouldn’t this fit? it’s also an explanation for aaron still taking drugs at eden’s, given that cracker dust seems to be a mild amphetamine. (aaron talk to betsy about the neurocog and get an actual prescription please)

(total throw away but aaron plays videogames and videogames are like,, adhd culture)

#Anonymous #txt #andrew minyard #kevin day #neil josten #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #my posts #im talkin #cw addiction #cw addiction mentioned

[whenimaunicorn]

The Heart of Admiration - Part 7

Charles Vane x OFC

In which some things are left unspoken that perhaps should be said, and others are uttered that definitely should not have been.

Prompt:  “Looking for mermaids?” Content: introspection, sex-negative attitudes, crass objectification, angst, angst, angst. Catch up here.

Notes: I’m embarrassed to admit how long it’s been since I posted the last part, so I’m not even going to look up the date. Especially since this chapter resumes right where the last one left off! I hope you can remember what was going on with all that “Mrs. Vane” nonsense, because none of the other characters are letting Hope (or Charles) forget it... Also, fair warning, this ends on an cliffhanger, but I do have most of the rest already written and hopefully will be able to put it out in a more timely manner. Words: 2300

It's so much worse than she had thought. Bad enough that Captain Vane might now have the impression that she feels some romantic inclination towards him, but to learn that it’s spread to the entire crew, too? Jack’s words have set her to brooding all the more intently. Hope barely even noticed him depart.

Because . . . she doesn’t feel that way about Charles Vane. Does she? What face could she be making, that Jack thinks he sees longing in her eyes when she contemplates their captain? A ridiculous notion.

And yet. Hope has never believed in lying to herself. A capable woman faces all of the facts head-on. To do otherwise would leave a lady trapped. Outmaneuvered. Society thrives on the soul-numbing lies it requires women to tell themselves. And Hope’s most fervent promise to herself was to leave that sort of thing behind.

No self-deception, then. When she thinks of Charles Vane, her chest warms. His presence on deck sets her heart beating faster, and the effect is not solely due to his authority, is it. He doesn’t speak much, but when he does she listens eagerly, interested in every rare glimpse into his mind.

Bother. Jack might be onto something. 

Those stray thoughts she suffered through in the wee hours last night may not only have been sparked by Vane’s unusual proximity. The warmth in her body spreads lower.

When she turned to piracy, leaving Society, she abandoned its restrictions. This included a short period in which she satisfied certain curiosities. So her maidenhead is gone. Its passing was . . . anticlimactic. She hasn’t thought much about sex since then. Pities the women required to perform that marital duty on a nightly basis, if she’s being honest. And she’s quite motivated to keep to her course now, a life of independence that will hopefully culminate in the acquisition of a small fortune sufficient to set up her own comfortable retirement by the time age starts to stiffen her joints.

She’s surprised, then, to find the notion hidden in the depths of her mind that with Vane, such intimacy could be different. The way his hand had molded itself around her thigh last night, the feel of his arms around her and his breath against her neck when he’d smelled her perfume. Her body had responded so much more vigorously than expected.

But it was probably just the drink. And reactions such as those are always fleeting, aren’t they. Such feelings are not an acceptable reason to risk her respectful place on this crew by tumbling into bed with its captain.

Hope turns away from the rail, puts her back to the sea and gathers her thoughts into a forceful summary of conclusions. Yes, it seems she is harboring a certain affection for Charles Vane. But it’s manageable. Not something she is going to allow to interrupt her plans. If she can just figure out how to wipe the dreamy schoolgirl look off her face that certain perceptive members of the crew have apparently noticed, she should be fine. Because it’s not like her feelings are returned. He would have made a move by now. She remembers her early suspicions, that Vane might be attracted to her, but things had settled, quite comfortably, between them since then. She’s almost embarrassed to have been prideful enough to have thought it.

That issue being settled, she marches herself back up to the helm to adjust their course and sets her thoughts to things that are truly important.

~*~

Fellows pulls through; the cache is there, and no soldiers in sight. They make quick work of hauling it all onto the Ranger. The sun is slanting low by the time they’re done; they’ve had to swing around the long way to avoid being spotted by anyone that could later connect their ship to the theft.

Days like these remind Vane why he’s so grateful to have such a skilled navigator, who can locate their position so precisely that they can leave the sight of land and come back in at such an exact, advantageous angle. Swoop in on the cache from nowhere, and swoop right back out again. They’re like ghosts today.

Rich ghosts. He’d never hear the end of it if he ever drove her away with his clumsy, misguided affections.

Vane knows he will have to be very careful tonight. Their ship could not be seen returning from the location of the cache, and there was not enough time to return Mr. Fellows home from a more roundabout angle before sundown. Which meant their guide was spending the night on the ship, bunking with the crew, and Hope . . . Hope would of course be sleeping in the captain’s quarters with her “husband.”

Vane exhales, fingers gripping the railing as if the wood might impart some of its steadfastness. To have had her unexpectedly in his arms was one thing. A pure, heavenly moment that had caught him by surprise. It was quite another to know that she was to spend the night with him again. How could he possibly stay calm, and feel her body just beside his, in his own narrow bed?

It would be a simple thing to sneak a hammock into his quarters, of course. He feels his face burn a bit as he becomes aware that he’d like to pretend that particular solution had just never occurred to him.

Hope’s smart. She will definitely think of it herself, anyway.

~*~

Hope finds herself down by the guns. It’s not her turn to help with the cleaning and re-setting, but she doesn’t want to be anywhere near Fellows, or Vane, or the boisterous crew in the mess. Besides, she likes being seen doing extra work; helps combat many of the prejudices about a lady on board. She settles in next to Stevens, one of the handful of her old Starling crew that had been accepted with her into the Ranger’s fold.

“Mrs. Vane,” he says by way of greeting just as she starts the scrubbing. He doesn’t say it like the other crewmen had. There’s scorn in his voice, and perhaps a hint of a question.

Hope scowls. “Not you, too.”

Stevens nods, as if she’s passed his test. They work in companionable silence for a while, until the only other man on this deck stretches, stows his tools, and exits via the ladder. Probably sneaking off now that Hope has effectively taken his spot. Only then does Stevens speak. “Been hopin’ you’d come talk to me.”

Hope looks up, without pausing her work.

“Seem to be finding your place here.”

“Everyone has use for a good navigator.”

“More than that. Look like you’re fitting in.”

“Do I?”

“Or is this just what you do. Make people like you. Find your way to the top, the inner circle, even if you’re just making the best of it.”

There’s a bitterness to the way he’s speaking, but Hope doesn’t feel like it’s directed at her, necessarily. Stevens has always had friendly feelings for her, that’s why he followed her to this crew. She decides to say very little, invite him to say a little more. “Can you blame me?”

“Guess not. You’ve always had a way with people.” He glances at the hatch, though there’s no one there. “Big take today,” he comments.

Hope grunts in agreement.

“Biggest we’ve had, since leaving Nassau.” He puts a little more oil on his rag. “Big enough to make up for the Starling.”

Hope’s hands stop moving. She forces them to continue. “I . . . hadn’t thought of it that way.”

Stevens sniffs, a sudden rush of nose-clearing air. “We have. Me and some of the boys.”

He has to mean the rest of the Starling crew. There’s four more of them, those that Vane hadn’t seen a need to punish for her brother-in-law’s stunt, fine seamen who hadn’t seemed like a mutiny risk to Jack when he recruited them out of the splinters of that disbanded crew. Hope had even vouched for them.

Apparently Jack can’t be right about everything.

“With your help, Hope, it’d be easy.”

~*~

Vane’s quiet contemplation is interrupted by Jack’s voice. “Looking for mermaids?” he asks, joining his captain on the deserted stretch of deck and staring down into the dark waters alongside him. The ship is safely hidden in a cove, and most of the crew are down in the mess for their nightly meal.

Vane replies with a rather rude gesture.

“No, there’s only one maid you’re interested in.”

Vane looks up sharply.

“Has a nice ring to it, ‘Mrs. Vane.’ I suppose that’s why the crew can’t seem to stop saying it.”

He grunts. “Torturing her.”

“Maybe just a little.”

Jack lapses into silence, but Vane is certain that won’t last for long. Maybe he should walk away now, avoid the question that is sure to be coming next. However . . . Vane can’t stop asking it of himself, either. So he may as well just let Jack say it.

“I’m out of more subtle advice,” Jack says. “And you never were one for subtlety, anyway. So here’s this: if you want her, just take her already.”

Not exactly what Vane thought he’d hear. He shifts, looks more squarely at Jack, and plays dumb with his reply. “I have.”

“Not onto your crew. It’s obvious how much you want her in your bed.” He’s eying Vane closely.

Is this what Jack thinks of him? He’d always pegged Jack as a bit of a romantic, seeing how well he treats Anne. He’d been bracing himself for a conversation about deep feelings. Not this crassness. “And as a member of my crew,” Vane growls in reply, “she’s got full rights here. I can’t have her by force.”

“Who says you need to force her?”

This is not what Vane wanted to hear, either. The last thing he needs is to build up a false hope. “Lay off, Jack. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turns squarely back toward the water.

“You really can’t tell.”

“I’ve tried flirting with her, Jack. When we first got her. She rejected me quite squarely.”

“Sometimes I wonder what it is you consider to be ‘flirting,” Charles, when most of your experience is with whores who already know how your coin spends.” Or girls looking to yoke his power, but at least Jack was kind enough not to mention that part. “Is it possible your approach lacks a certain . . . art?”

“Don’t say you’re offering to teach me,” he growls.

Jack’s hand flutters in the air. “You’re a lost cause anyway.”

“I’ve already resolved to never try again.”

“But why?” Jack leans over the rail, seeking his eyes. “She’s as smitten as you are; I don’t see how you can’t see it.” He sighs. “You’re too much alike, too proud and too timid, both at once, to see what’s right in front of you.”

“I know what’s in front of me,” Vane retorts, choosing to ignore the accusation of cowardice. Because he likes Jack. He’s let him get away with worse without rearranging his face over it. He can let this one go too. He takes a deep breath, and feels himself scowling. “I’m not going to say anything to her. Leave it, Jack. You weren’t there this morning. When she woke up and found herself in bed with me . . .  she made her lack of interest abundantly clear.”

Jack is shaking his head. “I can’t believe that. More likely you’ve scared her off with your extreme stoicism. How is she to know of your interest, if you’re not giving any signs of it?”

Vane looks over from the corner of his eye. “If I’m not giving any signs, then how can you be so certain that you know my heart?”

Jack claps him on the shoulder. “Because I know you too well, Charles. I know your tells. And you’ve gone through too much trouble to capture this bird.”

Vane growls his disagreement with that choice of phrasing.

Jack keeps barreling on. “Yes, yes. She’s a great value to the crew. But that’s not why you took her.”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Is that not what you did? You saw what you wanted, and you got control of her. We didn’t have to come down so hard on the Starling. But you needed to stake your claim. Now I feel like we’re all just holding our breaths. I’ve never seen you like this. You took her, I don’t understand why now you won’t take her. Tough as she is, she’s too much a maid to be the one to take the initiative. She might even be a virgin still. In need of a strong, experienced hand like yours to guide the way.”

Vane grunts, he can’t help it. He’s been trying so hard not think this way, but Jack’s words bring unbidden images to his mind. Hope’s wide eyes, looking up at him from his pillow. The softness of her flesh; the sounds she’d make if he—

Jack’s still talking. “God knows you both could use it. And she won’t be getting it anywhere else, not with you looming over her as you are. So why don’t you get on with it? Scoop her up and throw her in your bed. Hope’s not more than a bird you’re keeping in a cage if you keep going on like this.”

“Is that what I am.” Hope Wickham herself materializes from the shadow at the end of the deck. How long had she been standing there, listening, fuming? Long enough, judging by the look on her face. Charles Vane feels his heart sink down to his knees.

On to Part 8

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#charles vane x ofc #charles vane imagine #black sails fanfic #the heart of admiration fic #charles vane x hope wickham