#i want to die so much it is traumatizing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zeb-z · 5 months

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At a surface level, Gillion always putting himself between danger and his friends just makes sense, because he’s noble like that, isn’t he? Gillion Tidestrider, Champion of the Undersea, Hero of the Deep, Riptide Pirate - he can tank a hit, or two, or three, and swing back just as hard. He’s protective, and he’s sturdy, and he’s stubborn. Then just a little deeper, Gillion would without question sacrifice himself for the greater good. For a friend in need, for a good hearted citizen, for the net positive - he’s noble, with a heart of gold, who’s courage knows no bounds, right? And then just a little deeper, Gillion would actively harm himself just to make someone feel better. Just to take the edge off of someone else’s misery. He’d take their own pain, or even unnecessary pain, so they might have some sort of relief. Even if it isn’t guaranteed, he’s so ready, so eager, to jump at the chance.

Gillion Tidestrider is someone born to meet impossible standards, constantly told he’s not good enough, taught that his suffering is necessary and through this his people will survive. He’s all these things, kind and courageous and chivalrous, with a heart that beats to help others in need - but he’s also self sacrificial. Dangerously so. He takes personal risks without second thought, he pushes his limits for even the little things, he helps to the point of his own detriment. He will bleed himself dry on the off chance it might help a good soul who needs it. He will do worse for his loved ones. And it isn’t just from the all encompassing need to help at any cost, but also this feeling deep down inside that he deserves it. It’s his destiny to save people, no matter the personal cost.

It’s pushed to the extreme with Felipe after the Feywilds. Gillion, still off center, freshly traumatized from his time in that god forsaken orb, still awaiting the verdict on if he’s guilty in the eyes of the council while fully convinced he is, finds out it’s technically his fault his new friend is filled with insatiable bloodlust and wants to stab him to death. Of course he encourages the stabbing. Of course he’ll mind control to keep the peace. And when all is said and done, and it hurts and it doesn’t help, he still wonders about pushing it further - fully behind this idea of him dying and being brought back, even if it’s not sure to work. Even if it’s not sure to bring him back.

And I just keep thinking, that for all the healing Gillion does - all those sick people from Joaldo, Chip and Jay countless times in their battles, members of the crew, various people hurting and in need of aid - he’s never once used lay on hands on himself. It’s a pattern, made noticeable in Edison Kingdom, where he heals Alphonse for half of a joke instead of his own 1 hp - which subsequently downs him on the way down - and it’s continues to the end of the Feywilds, where Jay and even Felipe heal the stab wounds he bleeds out from. He’s a healer with the power just at his fingertips, so easily within reach, and he doesn’t heal himself.

So it does beg the question - when will the line between ‘selfless’ and ‘self sacrificing’ be drawn?

#I hope the line will be drawn swiftly and sternly now that jay and chip are truly catching on #I just. I noticed the healing thing in Edison kingdom and haven’t been able to let go of it since. he’d sooner risk death than heal himself #and now (now as in ep 84 where I’m at in the campaign) this self sacrificial behavior is exacerbated by the retraumatizing council shit #made much more obvious by the training sequences with both caspian and chip respectively. he’s bleeding himself dry to try and help everyon #to protect everyone. but he can’t. and then there’s the guilt part of it because yeah. is this a choice made out of friendship or a guilty #sense of obligation?#and like. his whole thing that’s like ‘no I don’t want to die but I’m not afraid and I will do what I must’ it’s just. it’s so concerning #so ridiculously concerning and it’s like with his upbringing of course he thinks like this. freshly traumatized of course it’s worsened #but god #I just. he still hasn’t healed himself as far as I can remember. and that’s all I can think about #seize your destiny gillion tidestrider. shape it to be your own. and for the love of god treat yourself kindly along the way #jrwi riptide 84 #jrwi #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #jrwi gillion #z speaks

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months

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#sorry im thinking abt death again #because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died #that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from #time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed #i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she #died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way #my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today #for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days #and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt #future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her #last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that #and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless #others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club #i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her #stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i #dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my #family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters #probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a #full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length #unrelated

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void-botanist · 3 months

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Rose's Kiss Week Day 5: Lonely

OCs: Marcus Asalun (aka Anchesh Pabat) and Gren Orech-Pabat

Words: 1335

Content warnings: mentions of family health issues

Notes: this takes place six months after Anchesh married his last spouse, human himbo Gren.

At the other end of the sofa, Gren sighed for the tenth time in as many minutes. He was staring off at the other end of the room, chin propped up in one big hand, and more than likely didn’t even realize he sounded so despondent.

“How are you doing?” Anchesh asked.

“I’m fine. It’s just lonely without Yera.”

Probably it was best not to talk too much about Yera, because Gren would only get sadder if he started thinking about why Yera was out of town and how stressed she must be. Instead Anchesh put aside his knitting.

“I’m probably not as good at cuddling as Yera,” he said, moving to the cushion next to Gren, “but I’m here.”

Gren instantly pivoted and deflated into his lap, settling one cheek against his thigh and a hand over his knee. Today Gren’s hair was held in a bunlike fold with just an alligator clip, which Anchesh gently pulled out and set on the open cushion beside him. Then he combed his fingers back through Gren’s loose locks.

“I feel bad being lonely,” Gren murmured. “Her family needs her way more than I do, and I’m not alone here.”

“You’re her family too,” Anchesh answered in the same low tone. “And it doesn’t feel the same, not having her here.”

“Yeah.” Gren squeezed his leg a little, like he needed something to cling to.

Anchesh let Gren’s hair slip through his fingers over and over, massaging Gren’s scalp with each draw. Truth be told, he was worried about Yera too. She would be fine, unless her father got worse. He probably wouldn’t die, not yet, but the wondering and waiting felt unsettling enough for him at home—it must be awful for her. She was right to have the rest of them stay behind, except Hossan, because sooner or later they’d all be at loose ends and end up making her feel worse. But he still wished he could be there to hold her and talk to her, probably just the same as Gren.

“Maybe I don’t spend enough time with the rest of you,” Gren said suddenly. “Especially you.”

“I don’t mind how much time you spend with Yera and Hossan,” Anchesh answered.

“Yeah, but—” Gren rose from his lap, slowly enough that he didn’t pull his own hair in Anchesh’s hands. With his hair pushed behind his ears, he said, “I’m your husband too. And you don’t get tired of me like Pali does. I would leave you alone if you wanted me to but you’ve never told me to do that.”

Anchesh handed him the alligator clip. “I mean, I’m happy to spend more time with you. I just don’t want you to worry too much about it.”

Gren stared at nothing while he smoothed his hair back into a ponytail and clipped it there. Then he continued looking at some spot further down the sofa. “Anchesh...do you love me?”

It was a serious question that deserved a serious answer, but Anchesh was distracted by the plaintiveness of Gren’s voice. Had this been worrying him for the last six months?

Gren waited two seconds before adding, “Not like you love Yera or Umedes, but...”

He took Gren’s hand from his lap, and Gren looked up. “I do love you, Gren. You’re my friend. And my husband. And I’m glad I married you.”

“Really?” He didn’t seem entirely convinced.

“Really. I would have married you just for Yera and Hossan, but I like having you around too. You’re so bright, and lovely, and you always make sure we have what we need. And—”

“I think Pali does that.”

“Pali doesn’t keep everyone upbeat,” Anchesh said. “And she’s definitely not good at making sure we all rest, especially not herself. I think she’s gotten more sleep in the six months you’ve been here than she has since I married her.” Gren didn’t say anything, so he kept going. “We need someone who’s as thoughtful as you are. I need someone who is.” An almost melancholy gratitude welled up in him, and he tried to figure out how to put words to it. He wasn’t sure that Gren understood how much he made life more bearable. He wasn’t sure any of his spouses did, even though he didn’t know where he’d be without them. He loved all of them, and he needed all of them, and on some level he needed Gren, the only one who wasn’t at least a little wrapped up in politics and particularities, most of all. He put his other hand over Gren’s. “You mean a lot to me, Gren.”

“Do you think you could say that more? Not that, but like, ‘I love you’?”

When was the last time he’d told Gren he loved him? Even if he didn’t remember exactly, he had a feeling it had been days, or weeks. He’d decided without thinking about it that Gren didn’t really need to hear it, and he definitely didn’t need to hear it from him, arguably Gren’s least favorite spouse aside from Pali.

“Of course I can,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of Gren’s hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t said it very much.”

“It’s okay.” Gren put his other hand on top of Anchesh’s. Then he dropped his cheek against Anchesh’s shoulder.

“You know you can always tell me about your feelings,” Anchesh said.

“You don’t tell me about yours,” Gren said. “Except in bed, kinda.”

“Do you want to know about my feelings?”

“Yes!” Gren lifted his head and his face was all exasperation. “I know I don’t understand all of the things you do but I can understand how you feel!”

“Most of my feelings aren’t good.” And it would be cruel to burden someone like Gren with them.

“I still want to know,” Gren said. “I just want to be there for you, but I never know what’s going on with you.”

He’d given up on being there for Gren because it was obvious Gren didn’t need him, and he couldn’t keep track of the constantly shifting world he lived in with Yera and Hossan. “While Yera and Hossan are gone, maybe we should focus on that. Being there for each other.”

“I’d like that.” Gren’s eyes fell to their hands, and Anchesh thought he could see a blush rising in his cheeks. “I’d also like to kiss you more.”

“You can kiss me whenever you want.” He felt like he meant that the most of anything he’d said so far. Gren raised his head and went straight to softly touching his lips to Anchesh’s, his mustache tickling at Anchesh’s smooth-shaven upper lip.

On the next kiss his hand caressed the curve of Anchesh’s neck, and then he untangled his other hand from Anchesh’s and threw both arms around his neck, and when that apparently wasn’t enough he broke the kiss and fully straddled Anchesh’s thighs, hunching a little to reach his lips. Anchesh tilted his head further back in turn, feeling the pleasant tension of his horns pressing against the back of the sofa. Despite his position, Gren didn��t seem like he was trying to be seductive. He kissed Anchesh to savor him, like he was fresh water on Gren’s parched tongue, a tongue carefully exploring the contours of Anchesh’s. He was in no rush, and his skin was warm against Anchesh’s where they touched, Gren’s feet pressed against his knees, hands along the edge of his neckline, soft lips drinking him in. Anchesh let his hands run back over Gren’s thighs, his hips, to the bare, fuzzy skin at his midriff, and held on there.

When Gren pulled back at long last, his breath was edged with gasps, and so was Anchesh’s.

“I love you, Anchesh. I love you so much.”

Without a word, they pulled each other close, Anchesh wrapping his arms around Gren’s back as he leaned forward to press his cheek against Gren’s shoulder.

“I love you too, Gren.”

RKW taglist: @vacantgodling @jezifster @kk7-rbs

#spoiler alert: Yera's father does not die and is still alive when Anchesh returns from Rade years later #Yera comes back and is like “what have you two been up to hmm” and they're like “literally we just talked about our feelings”#as I was writing this I had this realization that Anchesh and Gren are givers but for two different reasons and this brings them conflict #Gren is just Like That. his whole identity is based around giving. it comes with the himbo archetype #but also he doesn't see any reason to be selfish. he is fundamentally a lover in the same way Tatya is #Anchesh on the other hand would still absolutely be a kind person if he wasn't traumatized but his giving is defined by that trauma #he gives because he doesn't want to be like his mother. doesn't want to make his internal life everyone else's problem #but he also has been taught by his mother that his only value is in what he can give and how he can support other people's needs (hers)#so he minimizes himself expertly. even when he shouldn't. because it's kinder not to be outwardly depressed - right?#because it's better not to be the burden that he knows he is - right?#I didn't intend for these scenes to trace Anchesh's descent into further depression #but like. it's kind of hard not to trace that line. it informs so much about his relationships and what he struggles with in them #anyway ren here's a feast lol #c: Marcus #c: Gren #wip: iecunem #rose brambles #rose's kiss week #rose writ

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significant-ace-nnoyance · 5 months

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EVERYONE SHUT UP.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

#would die for this girl ngl #LOOK AT HER FACE #you dont even want to know how many hours ive spent analyzing the microexpressions on leahs face in this scene #and crossreferencing them with annabeth lore and characterization #no one will ever understand her like i do #jk i hope people do #because shes amazing #and SO COOL #and so layered and traumatized :( and lovely and SO MUCH MORE TO COME #annabeth chase #percy jackson #pjo <3

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moe-broey · 5 days

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It is so fucking dire. My dream. Of Summer Sharena. Over. Sniped. By my most hated banner of all fucking time. I have so many problems. This is going to be torture. Crafted for me, specifically. She is undeniably adorable. A duo w Veronica is undeniably adorable. This is like a Saw trap to me. I'm dying in a fucking Saw trap right now.

#dude.......... i have so much emotional baggage i am not even gonna pretend i don't.#this is psychological horror to me. this is torture to me. and the worst part is is. she's adorable. and i love her.#LIKE..... that really is the worst fucking part. well no actually the worst part is that it came to this in the first place.#i'm gonna throw up. i'm gonna die. i'm gonna lock myself in the bathroom. i'm gonna cry.#literally this is my 9/11. i'm not kidding #literally like what can i say without saying way too fucking much. i was severely traumatized by my upbringing #andnthe expectations communicated to me directly/indirectly and the rest i just filled in the blanks and took it upon myself?#that everyone thinks i'm insane bc they never said that? even though like. that was clearly communicated to me. somehow.#knowing i'll never be that? i'll never be what anyone wanted? knowing that nobody wants me? refusing to be wanted?#bro.#everybody get divorced right fucking now. for mw #for me.

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daedrabela · 6 days

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i miss being hot. i miss taking pictures and feeling cute. i miss dressing up and wearing minxy little outfits. i can't stand myself anymore. i can't look in the mirror.

#may have to go for a bike ride to feel better but i'm scared I won't be able to breathe #mental illness is not a joke. weight gain is not a joke. when they tell you the side effects listen up.#never get a birth control shot the convenience comes with consequences #seroquel put me to sleep for a year I didn't “wake up” until i was off of it i just lived on autopilot it was horrible #i barely remember 2022 because of seroquel #and it made me so fucking fat and my blood pressure so high now i hate this so much i want to die #most people think of weight loss when you go through something terrible they don't consider weight gain as traumatic #they just think you ate too much when in reality i Don't Eat. i Don't Eat. i've stopped eating and nothing has changed.

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hecksupremechips · 27 days

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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caffeinatedopossum · 10 months

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I went grocery shopping today and realized just how much stronger I've gotten since pre-recovery and now I suddenly don't wanna relapse

#also just had a rather great day that reminded me i can feel happy still #its hard to remember that when it hardly ever happens #idk if i can give up on losing weight though... and it was just one good day. i still need some way to cope :(#idk what to do. i want to be happy. i want this to be the last time i ever had to get better #but i also cant really do anything. i need something more #i guess ill take it one day at a time... though i will probably relapse if i do that #but fuck it I guess it is what it is #well see what happens #I just dont wanna lose all this progress :( and i dont wanna go through recovery again #last time with my ed was so incredibly traumatic. i thought i was gonna die #there would be days id binge eat (relatively 'normal' amounts of food but a whole days worth at once)#and it was because id think 'today could be my last day- i may as well eat what i want now'#but id be in so much pain and have extreme nausea for hours or days not to mention the mental anguish-#god. it was all just really awful. i want things to be better now

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has-brain-rot · 2 years

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I finally began watching voltron

OKAY SO at the recommendation of a super cool person (@imperfection-you-will-find (sorry if you don’t want to be tagged) ) I got into watching Voltron: Legendary Defenders and I just finished the first season AND IT IS A REALLY COOL SHOW. I know I’m like 5 years late to the party but the animation! Characters! World building! All very interesting!! Love how smoothly they blend those 3D models into the show, it’s barely noticeable

Here’s a few thoughts (before I go binge the next season)

- first off it is BOLD that the first episode is an hour+ long. like damn they didn’t have to do that but they did and the pacing is surprisingly good for what they had to do, though I lowkey wish there was more adventuring-to-find-the-rest-of-the-lions because that part was pretty interesting, especially when they talked about having to form a bond with the lions first

- Hunk is a cool guy and I really like how he develops and ends up being one of the more serious characters (when, unfortunately, he isn’t the but of the joke. He’s neat but they make fun of his weight a fair bit and that’s not fun). Love how he has a good sus-detector, also he was SLAYING when he saved people during the season 1 finale

- Pidge is REALLY COOL and I personally (so far at least) headcanon them as enby. they also give off transman vibes and honestly that’s what I thought they were going to do with the character until the reveal. It’s cool how they handled it, and I love that the show didn’t go for an all-boy cast because that’d be disappointing.

- Lance is kinda annoying but he’s growing on me. I’m not the biggest fan but I like how he’s developing. Blue colour scheme is cool, but damn he really put everyone and an entire planet in danger just because he crushed briefly on a girl. Shame.

- Shiro is COOL. We don’t know much about him and the portrayal of his trauma is a really good thing to add. I do find it mildly funny (in a dark way? funny might not be the right word) that like. Lance and Hunk are there because vibes, Pidge is there for vibes but also they were on a mission of their own, Keith right now is very mysterious and gives off many vibes, but Shiro’s backstory is that he was tortured for a year, forced to fight, there’s the implication that his body was forcefully modified as he was trained to be a weapon, and also he’s probably killed quite a few people and he’s trying to deal with that and everything while like, they’re vibing

- Keith is COOL. Red lion swag. Love his somewhat morally ambiguous vibes, also I feel like he’s going to be a big projection character. They haven’t really covered his background other than he dropped out, but I bet there’s a lot more going on. I can DEFINITELY see he is liked. ALSO I feel like the whole “you fight like a Galra soldier” is more than just a one off line. I sense it. Plus the whole “you have to earn the trust of the red lion, you can’t just befriend it right away” gives off big flags of “HEY PAY ATTENTION”. I could write so much about this but I wanna go binge the second season xD

- THE CLIFFHANGER OF A FINAL EPISODE. There is so much I could talk about (the character development, the battle scenes, everything is so cool. It’s like seeing all the things I wish we could’ve seen in steven universe and also I think belos would be proud of the general genocide even if it isn’t religion based). I’ll keep it short and just say that DAMN SO MUCH HAPPENS AND IT IS VERY COOL

I’m going in spoiler free and it’s quite fun! Thanks for the recommendation @imperfection-you-will-find, can’t wait to watch more so I can fully appreciate your super cool edits and posts xD

#overweight characters exist for comedy first #and aren't taken seriously #voltron #vld #vld ramble #voltron legendary defender #IT IS INTERESTING AND DAMN THE ANIMATION IS SO COOL #Honestly Voltron could just have a lion head but like. even if it isn't the most logical a giant mech made of lions is such a BANGER concept #I am vibing very much rn #Keith my maybe-to-become-a-blorbo why do you keep getting into situations where you nearly die #like is he okay because I think he is not okay #idk what happens yet because I've never watched it but Loz talked about trauma so I am READY to learn more #This mama is ready for trauma <- ready to watch it at least. give me some of that forbidden backstory #I think the funniest twist would be if Hunk ended up having the most traumatic backstory. Like they'd have to work hard to beat Shiro's #not funny for him 'cause that'd suck but I think that would spin a twist on the whole trope/cultural idea lots of western media has #him being the most serious out of the not-shiro (or keith) group is good though. gives him depth #only reason why I'm talking about hunk so much is because honestly I thought he was going to be left behind or die or get replaced #ANYWAYS BACK TO BINGING #IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT VOLTRON PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND IN AS MANY ASKS AS YOU WANT #INFODUMP AWAY #also just in general send in asks I will be very happy if you do :]

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aquariusdeanw · 1 year

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It’s been years and I’m still mourning Joel Miller

#I think I would’ve been over it if it wasn’t for the fact that it was so brutal #like that shit was traumatizing dawg #I can barely watch it #Ellie literally screams and begs #like I knew for certain that Joel had to die in the second game because there had to be consequences #BUT HIM NOT BEING ABLE TO DO SHIT 10 vs 1 GOLF-BAT BEING REPETEDLY HIT WHILE HEARING HIS DAUGHTER SCREAM FOR HIM AND NOT BEING ABLE TO #REASSURE HER AND STILL THINKING THAT HE DISAPPOINTED HER AND THAT HE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO FIX THINGS WOTH HER AND HE PROBABLY THOUGHT #THAT THEY WERE GONNA KILL HER TOO #that game is evil and I don’t hate Abby I could care less about her but DAMN #that shit was so traumatizing for Ellie that she couldn’t even live happily with her family and Tommy was probably going through the same #and I literally can never go through Joel’s house after it hurts too much #SUCH A PRETTY HOUSE AND SUCH A PRETTY GARDEN NO ALLARMS AND NO SURPISESSSS #she’s alone. joel would never want her to be alone. I hope that she’s with tommy and they healed each other #he’s with his little girl in the after life while his youngest is all alone :(#AND HE NEVER WANTED TO LEAVEEEE NEVER WANTED TO LEAVEEEE #the last of us 2 #tlou 2 #joel and ellie #joel miller #ellie williams #the last of us spoilers

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bpdshan · 7 months

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i haven’t gone a day this year without thinking abt ending my life

#it’s been abt a year since the traumatic thing started #it lasted until the early months of this year #it’s been a whole year since it started #since that happened ….#feels like it’s been days #there’s so much pain #and the cold of the season is triggering #the cold reminds me #and i can’t eacPe #i cant escape it #i’m in winter coat and hat and gloves in my own home and it feels like i’m there again #it is just as cold as when it happened #i want to die #tw suicide #suicide tw #tw

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torchiiko · 2 years

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things i want to happen in toh s3

harpy lilith??? helloe???? she has the curse too now. shes been in owl beast form. its only fair and epic that she gets a harpy form as well

sillies and funnies to balance out the Everything Else going on i need them to have silly human realm shenanigans

i also need luz hunter sibling momence !!! licking someones hand when they put it over your mouth is The Sibling Thing Ever its basically canon i said so

i also also need gus hunter sibling momence . hunter big brother frfr

ikk theres probably gonna be a conclusion to the wittebane arc at some point but i hope. hunter does Not suffer any more than he already has (unlikely but i can hope)

he also better not die!! no more casualties. if anyone dies ill cry forever

raeda :) they didnt work out in the past bc eda couldnt bring herself to ask for help but now shes grown and she can be more open so like,, let em get back together

odalia and alador divorce /j. but something better happen with the blights bc aladors on his way to a redemption but odalia doesnt seem willing to change

hunter gets adopted by everyone

luzs palisman hatches and gets all cute and cuddly with amitys palisman :)

camila and luz teach all the kids spanish

collector actually just being a kid whos too powerful for their own good and not like. actively malicious. perhaps they can be persuaded not to destroy the world so long as they have a willing playmate

hunter sees a cardinal !!

grimwalker lore??? hunter was reading up on them in the school and we still dont know exactly how they work

gus sees a giraffe :)

in general luz just introduces everyone to human world things

a happy ending please god i wont be able to handle it if the ending isnt happy. if its even bittersweet ill sob for years let these kids be happy

#can you tell i like hunter #hes the punching bag oc the creators put him through so much....#remember how they pushed for him to just start sobbing when everyone was talking about the owl house game #how they wanted him to be in the 'belos chunks splash zone'#hes just a little guy who loves his bird and wants to talk about magic (and is severely traumatized and needs therapy)#(but! he finally has a support system he is on his way to a better life)#also yeah harpy lilith :) like come On!! imagine?? harpy clawthornes fighting side by side???? itd be so cool #inn conclusion: this show brought me so much more emotions than i ever thought and ill die if the ending isnt warm and fuzzy #the owl house #toh #nerd time #ramble

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