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shutit-haha · 8 months

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Rocker Bakugo/Manager reader

Rocker Bakugo who everyone labels as cocky but you simply say arrogant. There's videos that have gone viral of you correcting people during interviews saying he's only like this because he knows what he can do. This is how you gain your popularity as his manager.

"Now you're quite cocky aren't you?" The grey haired man leans forward onto his desk.

"No, he's not." You speak up from where you sit next to Bakugo on the dark green sofa.

"But he is," the man corrects you.

"No, he's not." You've taken on a more stern tone, "anytime Katsuki has ever told me 'I don't need you to teach me' he goes and proves that in fact he doesn't need my assistance. He's very talented and has been since a surprisingly young age, do I wish he was nicer yes, every one does. He's arrogant only because he's aware of how talented he is." The interview was cut short after that, security escorting your crew out. This is how you accidently make your mark.

Rocker Bakugo who has a ton of groupies but doesn't really care. As his career starts to rocket, he appears more and more in public with hickeys on his shoulders and chest. At first there's speculation of it being from wild fan, however it's all from you. Gotta make your claim on your drummer boy.

Rocker Bakugo who sits you on his lap and tries to teach you how to play the drums. He wraps his hands around yours, has you pick your favorite song and the two of you learn it together. When ever he has free time (which includes the five minutes he has before showtime) he'll sit you down and have you practice.

"Let's see," he pulls you down onto him.

"I'm not there yet," you're all bashful and shy like the other fan girls. You're not really musically inclined, you dabble sure but negotiation's are your world.

"Yeah you are, come on play." He doesn't grab onto your hands this time, forcing you to play on your own.

"How was that," you're eager for his validation.

"Certified drummer baby, might take my job."

"Don't gaslight."

"'M not."

One day he pulls you on stage for an encore. He gets up from his stool, sits you down instead and has the whole band play your favorite song as a live concert.

Rocker Bakugo who plays dumb when you're talking about laws and contracts. You know full well he understands what you're talking about. When everything was young; your relationship, careers, and ages, the two of you went to get your degrees together.

He'd help you study and was one of the top of your class. You both walked the stage together. Fast forward and his degrees just sitting there in his studio while his eye candy of a manager takes care of everything for him.

"What's that," he ask interrupting you when you use a 'big legal word.'

"Katsuki," you whine.

"What? I'm fuckin' confused explain it to me."

"You understand, I know you understand."

"Brain's melted from all those guitar riffs love, nothing in here but music notes."

"Kat," you swat at him.

"Alright fine, like when that sexy voice of yours explains it to me."

"We're not in college anymore."

"Wasn't that long ago."

Rocker Bakugo who slays at guitar hero and has the drum version. When he's pissed he plays, you come home and find him just jamming the fuck out. He's broken the game once or twice it's a pain in the ass to pay. The damn rich boy even owns the arcade version, bakusquad comes over and plays it all the time.

Rocker Bakugo who has to have your validation. (We all know he has an inferiority complex.) Who gets off stage all sweaty and shit, has that smug ass grin on his face. Still without fail always finds you and is like "how'd I do?"

"Sexy as fuck."

"Yeah," he's breathing heavily in your neck. His arms are limp by his sides, muscles sore.

"Yeah," you push his hair out of his face.

Rocker Bakugo who had everyone convinced you were just some girl. You were always with him, even when recording most people kind of just assumed you were some accessory. You always love the reactions you get when you're introduced as his manager.

Rocker Bakugo who people assume doesn't actually love you. The two of you always appear standoff-ish and scary. However this is only because you're always on alert when the two of you are with new people. You're polite but that bubbly personality of yours completely fizzles away. You're his no bullshitting manager and nothing else during those times, all work mode. There's a rule about no PDA as a way to keep up your image and reputation.

It's such a huge contrast from how the two of you are on livestreams and what not.

Rocker Bakugo who low-key has a mommy/daddy kink, and loves your praise. You're unafraid of telling him when's messed up or needs to rehearse something again. And well your boyfriend's learned to swallow your critique. This means that when he does do something perfect the first time he expects you to hang it up on the fridge.

"Again," you're leaning up against the wall on the opposite side of the room. The darkness of the rest of the space makes you seem barely there, you're like a phantom.

"Again," he growls back at you. The rest of the group is watching with open eyes weary of what is going to happen next.

"Are your muscles cramping?"

"No."

"Are you hungry?"

"No," his voice gets louder.

"Thirty?"

"No," and louder.

"Am I overworking you then?"

"no," and louder.

"Well then do you think you can play it right this time?" Your words make everyone in the room wince, except for your boyfriend. His jaws clenched biting the words he so desperately wants to shout.

"Yeah," he barks at you.

"Good," you lean back against the wall adjusting your shoulders for comfort. "Again."

Rocker Bakugo who fights with you sometimes. "What kind of contract is that," he snarls at you.

"Katsuki what you're asking me for doesn't exist."

"Then make it happen."

"It doesn't work like that, this is difficult."

"It always is."

"Oh don't give me that, you know damn well this is hard. Actually I bet you don't, I bet you haven't even looked at it." You scoff shaking your head, "you're bitching to me about something you know nothing about."

"Bullshit," he spats.

"Yeah ok."

"And what was that shit during practice," his hand is flat on your desk. Your study smells like him and you're not quite sure how you feel about that. It's like he's invaded your space.

"That shirt during practice was me trying to make you better."

"Yeah right," he sneers putting his other hand down on the desk.

"Not everyone's got it out for you Katsuki." You rise from your seat so that you may now stand behind your desk. "You know what Dyna-mighT I can just pack up and leave. I mean you wouldn't want to sleep next to a greedy traitor." You walk out from behind your desk, "you poor fucking cash cow," you glare at him. "I loved you before all of this, when we were broke fucking high school kids."

"Not true."

"Yeah because your mommy and daddy had money to back you up." You point to yourself, "I didn't have that though. I went out on a limb because I believed in you, I took a leap of faith because I trusted the net would appear. This," you bring your finger down onto your desk, "is my income. We don't have to love each other but I am not losing this job."

"Because you made me right, you made me want I am now." He's snarling at your back, you're only a couple steps away from the door.

You snort, "you made yourself. You're really fucking smart, and your gorgeous too but FUCK do you let your insecurity get in the way. And it's my fault for making your ego bigger, this wasn't all you. Go through those records and try and tell me I haven't done some crazy shit for you. Go through documents, interviews, concerts, post, look and compare old contracts."

"Bullshit, I know people that can do better."

"Than go find them," you wave him off.

"You're just a fucking manager-"

"And you're just a fucking cash cow," you slam the door behind you.

#x reader #bakugou katsuki #rocker #drummer boy #manager #Rocker Bakugo #katsuki bakugo x reader #argument #highschool sweethearts #headcanon #insecurity #mutual praise #protective

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meatmensch · 2 months

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Music I think Roy Kent likes and why

Madonna. In season 3, episode 3, Roy said, "[Pre-Madonna] means before Madonna, female vocalists didn't have to work that hard." This implies a great respect for Madonna and her craft. Also, it's an example of a very specific kind of queer guy misogyny that I find very humorous and implicative (of him being queer).

The Sex Pistols (and other punk rock). Two of their songs are in the Ted Lasso soundtrack. One of them specifically plays when Roy is about to do some pundit work for the first time. I think it's meant to be his hype up music. They're also, of course, anti-fascist and anti-monarchy, which I think Roy would vibe with. He's giving punk.

The music of the Muppets. Canonically (not that I necessarily consider this kind of thing canon, lol) a Muppets fan, I think he'd love the soundtracks to the movies, as well as the numbers they do on the original show.

Rap; Salt-n-Pepa, Queen Latifah, and Beyoncé. I just think he would like them. In season 1, episode 6, Keeley mentions that he has rapped, implying at least some interest in the genre.

Leonard Cohen. I think Roy's Jewish, and he's a broody, sensual bitch. It adds up perfectly. Sidenote: while "She's a Rainbow" by the Rolling Stones was a great choice for the song he runs home to football to, I think Cohen's "Ain't No Cure for Love" would've fucking slayyyed..."I loved you for a long, long time / I know this love is real / It don't matter how it all went wrong / That don't change the way I feel / And I can't believe that time is gonna heal / This wound that I'm speaking of" "I've got you like a habit / And I'll never get enough" "I don't need to be forgiven / For loving you so much"

Klezmer. Again, if Roy is Jewish, and we know he loves and misses his grandad...it's simple. He HAS a record player and a dope sound system, and on his shelves there ARE old klezmer records that he remembers dancing around to with his grandad in their old flat.

Amy Winehouse. Again, if Roy is Jewish, and we know he is broody and bitchy, it is a given. "Rehab" is his anthem when his knee gets bad and he is reluctant to treat it.

Disco; Donna Summer and Jessie Ware. It's just great workout music, and it slays, and if he's queer, well, yes, of course he likes disco.

Pop rock; Elton John and Queen. If he's queer...it's a given. I think he particularly likes "I Think I'm Going to Kill Myself" and "Rocket Man", as he is suicidal (I can't find the interview where Goldstein said this) (it's just Word of God anyway), and the most rocket man motherfucker ever.

The music of the people he loves; Led Zeppelin, Cream, Tina Turner, and Stevie Nicks. Phoebe, Keeley, and Jamie like these musicians. He's a caring uncle, boyfriend, and friend. He is listening and learning. Also, I think Phoebe would be into some weird stuff, like outsider music - maybe some Tiny Tim. I think Roy would also enjoy the music of other friends, from plenty of other genres.

#also. i rly disagree w the term outsider music but it gets the point across so yknow.#also i have this hc that he plays the drums bc his sister wanted to play music at some point and he was like ok i will play toys w u fine.#and she plays guitar :)#my posts #ted lasso #i also think he is maybe one of those celebrities who is multidisciplinary. so yes he has released a few eps. under a pseudonym ofc #then again i kinda think he's one of those guys who is really good at one thing and THINKS they suck at everything else. so like he happens #to play music around people every once in a while and they're like whatttt u r amazing? and he's like shut up i'm garbage. yeah #I ALSO THINK ROY IS RLY INTO BASEBALL. why? um. if u ask him he'll say some shit like 'i'm a fucking athlete ofc i follow other sports. no #it's not weird that it's not a very british thing. get the fuck out of my face.' the real answer is he watch a league of their own as a kid #purely for madonna and a special interest was born #inspired #roy kent #also! jamie is a HUGE music snob. i just know this to be true #like. the only musicians we've heard him mention (i think) are tina turner and stevie nicks. whenever roy grabs the aux and bumps madonna o #any music from this century he resists the urge to reach over and strangle him

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saturn-sends-hugs · 1 year

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Ok had a long car ride so guess what EP11 THOUGHTS LETS GOOOO:

(plus a good amount of ep12 predictions cause uh i am very excited bkshsjjkssk)

Couple little things first, starting with WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE NALA SE AGAIN. I mean I knew logically we would see her again but that doesn’t mean I was ready for it >:( i do not forgive u for fives u cruel cruel long lady

Then the batch telling Cid off!!! Slay!! Absolutely slay get it that is so important, especially that Omega was directly calling her out for leaving them stranded. I’m really interested to see where that storyline goes and if they either end up leaving Cid (and probably adding to Omegas trust issues in the process cause WOW everyone is letting her down these days (echo i love u but ur girl is not ok)), or if they stay with her and she gets some sort of redemption arc? Idk, can’t decide which seems more likely, but all I can say is I hope next episode has absolutely nothing to do with it. Like it’s an interesting storyline but… yeahh…

And oh god, the boys walking around the ship, why was Wrecker the only one being smart??? Like Tech just ran off on his own, knowing full well the creature was most likely still on the ship, Hunter had his just mwah chefs kiss line of “Whatever did this wasn’t human,” like… HMMM HUNTER I HADNT NOTICED (“And where there’s a farm, there’s usually a farmer!”) But Wrecker was actually paying attention!! He picked up the volt-staff (which like yeah he was gonna anyways but it was still smart) and he made note of the walls being reinforced meaning whatever they were holding must be something strong. And later in the episode he sees the Empire snag the zillo beast and he takes note of how “They’re not killing it. They’re taking it.” Like I love those little moments where Wrecker just passively shows off how smart he is?? He plays the big goofy guy since it’s just kinda his personality, but he still knows his stuff. Hell, he made a rocket launcher out of parts from a separatist tank in less than a minute while under fire from the enemy?? And it worked perfectly? And repeatedly??? Anyway Wrecker spiel over but the man is a genius and I love him.

Tech and Omega’s moments in this episode, oh i lOVE THEM. Him messing up and scaring her then kinda not knowing how to fix it, Omega unplugging his datapad to make him get going, Tech immediately covering her while they ran from explosion omG I LOVE THEM. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH they are so wonderful and sweet and perfect and Filoni I swEAR YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH THEM (I feel like they’re safe for the most part but still, I do not trust. (like of all of them I think Hunter, Omega and Wrecker are the safest? They kinda can’t be taken out; you need the leader, you can’t lose the kid, and Wrecker is pretty much the majority of the comic relief. And Tech is safe-ish too cause he’s just such a character type that I feel like you can’t get rid of him. But uh… Echo and Cross are not safe. They are very much so in danger, maybe Echo most of all and oh god I am scared for him. And also Cody if he ever comes back. …where is cody..?))

OK and now for bigger things like oMG ECHO AND REX HOLY SHIBSJSBSJBSKZNZKDNOEBEKSNSKLSMSNSJXLDNSKNSKS YES YES ABSOLUTELY CALL ECHO AND REX I NEED TO SEE THEMMMMMM!!! The way Hunter did his little main character moment slow zoom when he said that? There’s absolutely no way that’s not important to this weeks episode or at least the one after that so AAAAAA I AM SO EXCITEDDDDD. The batch has needed Echo so much in every single episode since he left; Tech going off on his own in this one felt so wrong because Echo should’ve been right there with himmm!! (i mean he should 100% be with rex but like you get what i mean)

And at the end when Lama Su mentions kidnapping Omega again? That feels equally important. Not only is the Empire going to have to admit that Clone Force 99 isn’t dead, but they’re going to have to start hunting them down again to get Omega. And to me, I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw Crosshair being ordered to hunt Omega down in particular, since he knows the batch so well and would know best how to snatch Omega from them. (Also like story-wise… who else would it be? …Boba?) Now would that be so incredibly painful and awful to see? Yes, yes it would. Am I still incredibly excited to see it? ALSO YES.

And with both of these things, the Echo and Rex mention and a target on Omega, as well as the fact that this next episode is (i’m pretty sure?) confirmed to have Crosshair in it, I’m really really hoping the episode follows either of them (Cross or Rex and Echo) and their paths end up crossing?? Like maybe Crosshair gets his orders to hunt down Omega, and in trying to track the batch he ends up finding a lead on just Echo? Or maybe it follows Rex and Echo looking into the zillo beast and in trying to find out more they run into Crosshair? And maybe they find out abt Cody??? And anD AND OOO maybe Echo has a moment where he finally decides, fuck it, I can’t leave my brother with the empire any longer and he like tries to reason with Cross? Idk but either way I am REALLY hoping they cross paths somehow plEASE ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE SEEN EITHER OF THEMMM 😭😭😭

like it is in fact womens history month and also my birthday on thursday so mr filoni is actually legally obligated to not emotionally destroy me thank you very much :D

#yes this is late no i am not ready for next weeks ep #also #pls pls join in w ep predictions i need to know ur thoughts for next epppp #it has been three weeks #three weeks since echo #and like months since cross??? omg??#i miss them so much filoni u better fix this rn #sw tbb #sw tbb spoilers #tbb spoilers #the bad batch #tbb s2

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antvnger · 9 months

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((Aaaahhh *chuckles* I wondered if I would see this request. Behold!))

QUILL Do you prefer to keep your secrets, rogues? A better opportunity than e’er, for I shall kill ye thee, then beat the truth from Thanos vile himself. [To Parker:] Thou shalt die first!

STRANGE Wait, Thanos? Let me ask thee this one time: What master does thou serve?

QUILL —A question stranfe, e’en stranger than the one who asketh it. For what should I say? Jesus?

STARK —Is it so—Thou art from Earth?

QUILL —Earth, bay, but from Missouri.

STARK It is on Earth, thou coxcomb. Why are you attacking us like we were enemies?

PARKER You, then, are not with Thanos? Slower speak—The revelations come at rocket speed.

QUILL Could I e’er be with Thanos? Never, nay! But I have hither come to Thanos slay, for he hath ta’en my lass. Who, then, are you?

PARKER Th’Avengers. Do you understand the name?

The Bard’s Avengers Game

@stxrksarc

#for the ant mun #stxrksarc #iron mun #the bard’s avengers #infinity war’s tale #avengers infinity war #tony stark #doctor strange #peter quill #peter parker

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oh-three · 8 months

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Ahsoka S1E4

What the fuck does "cannibalize wiring" mean?? 😭

"If we can't make the journey to find Ezra, then no one should." Noooooo, my heart, don't say that.

^^^ the following conversation

"Be careful out here." Why are Jedi so ominous 😂

Baylan (and our dear late Ray Stevenson) deserves an award for his crypticness. I love it.

"Sometimes we have to do what's right regardless of our personal feelings." DIDN'T ANAKIN SAY ALMOST EXACTLY THE SAME THING IN AOTC??? SOMEONE CONFIRM PLEASE.

Huyang being smart and punching the lights back out to warn the others.

YES. Sabine will always be Mandalorian no matter how much she gets Jedi-ized. I love that reminder,

Helmet hair!

Huyang, Ahsoka, and Sabine make one amazing trio.

WHY WOULD YOU LET CHOPPER BABYSIT.

I knew Hera wouldn't just stand by and wait.

THE GHOST!!

Ayyyyyy, Carson Teva!

"Faith? I lost that a long time ago." Ooooh, that is deep. No wonder the episode is titled Fallen Jedi.

Awww, poor Marrok doesn't have a cloak to flip off this time 😔

Shots fired.

Marrok over here holding his lightsaber like Maul.

Getting Force Awakens vibes with the trees being cut down.

YES, THE REBELS SOUND EFFECT ON MARROK'S LIGHTSABER.

WAIT. NO.

MARROK COME BACK.

AHSOKA.

WHY.

Why'd you have to slay my guy??? 😭

How many Inquisitors need to die before Dave is satisfied??

Damn right Thrawn'll start a war.

I'd have thought that Baylan would be a more careful fighter, but nope. Ataru. Interesting.

OOP, HE'S THROWING ROCKS NOW.

Oooh, the pan shot focusing on Sabine's helmet though.

She might not be very Force sensitive, Shin, but she does have wrist rockets!

"The final complication is incomplete." Ayyyyy. Rip hand

Whoa, chill, Ahsoka. Sabine's fine. Lost, maybe, but unharmed.

And there she is.

Okayyyy, Ahsoka's going swimming.

I like how they think she's dead Lmao. She's fine.

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, SABINE. HE'S USING YOU.

COME ON. Please.

But....she's smarter than that???

Why would she give it to him????????

Oh, thank god. Hera.

I don't like this episode (lying)(it's my favorite)

The map has been destroyed and Sabine is a hostage. Good job.

Well, that was interesting.

"I've got a bad feeling." JACEN IS FORCE SENSITIVE.

Poor Huyang. Abandoned.

Ooooh, World Between Worlds??

IT IS THE WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS AYYYYYY

Oh, Anakin, you lifesaver.

WAIT, HE'S TANGIBLE. UH. IS SHE DEAD?

#ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka #ahsoka masterlist

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wolveria · 3 months

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Moon Champion for wip wednesday!

Moon man is popular today!!!

Part 2

Part 3

A thump landed directly beyond you, so forceful that it propelled you forward a few feet and you landed ungracefully on your side.

Coughing and rolling onto your back, you stared up the suit—or rather, the entity which appeared to be a suit—towering over you like a figment out of the space age. The EMU-type spacesuit was even larger in person, and the SCP took a step toward you, forcing you to scramble backwards in order to not be stepped on.

“Greetings, old man!” he loudly proclaimed, his voice booming off the pine trees. Several birds were startled from sleep, taking flight into the star-filled sky. “I am Moon Champion, Champion of the Moon, defender of space justice and—...”

He peered down at you, cocking his helmet slightly.

“Have you been damaged?”

You winced and shook your head. It was difficult to remember that this particular SCP had never intentionally harmed anyone before, even if his appearance often caused collateral damage of an impressive proportion.

“I’m fine,” you said, carefully getting to your feet and brushing off the seat of your jeans. “Sorry, you were talking about... defending space or something?”

“Ah, yes!” He straightened his shoulders and pointed a finger upwards in a vague direction. The sky, probably, though it only looked like it was pointing into the treetops. “I seek aid for my people amongst the fleshy ground dwellers of your world, for I am told you have many resources comprised of confectioneries and custard. I assume you are the President of this planet, and you have come to greet me and pledge your unwavering fealty to the cause of slaying every Moon Monster until they are wiped from the face of the Moon?”

Christ, did the guy even breathe?... All right, considering he flew through space, probably not.

From what the Foundation had gathered, this was generally how SCP-1233’s exploits went. He rocketed to the ground and hit with meteoric impact, proceeded to the nearest small town, and attempted to recruit humans for his... moon wars.

And here you were, the unlucky level 2 assistant researcher who had found him first. You weren’t normally cleared for field work, but the SCP had landed not far from Site-20, and you’d been rushed to a van and ordered to change into civilian hiking gear. It certainly blended in better than your typical lab coat and slacks.

You had to navigate this carefully. SCP-1233’s last visit to Earth on October 5th, 2017, had ended in disaster. Landing near Hereford, England, the entity had stumbled onto the one unfortunately person who had sarcastically agreed to aid him to fight Moon Monsters. The entity had grabbed the man and launched into the atmosphere at a lethal speed.

The body was never recovered.

“Uh.” You fidgeted with the hem of your plaid jacket, still not comfortable with the civilian disguise. “I am the President, yes.”

#scp 1233 x reid #scp 1233 x reader #scp 1233 #wip game #having to go back earlier in the wip #don't want to spoil the moon magic yet

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shinakazami1 · 1 year

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I’m so, so sorry for dipping for months it’s been quite busy and procrastination got the hang of me,,, But since I’m finally free now, time to actually transcribe the raw reaction I wrote two months ago from paper to Microsoft word and edit it! I just need to summarise it and I'm done! *look at word document: page 2 of 2,640 words* yeah maybe a small segments should do

(this one is for Destiny Surely Likes to Play Tricks, thing absolutely slayed me my goodness I'm blushing screaming kicking my legs I'm just so happy for these men and their journey to happiness)

“While I do know your name…beautiful” ,,,Ok that might be something left behind in the editing process (or maybe it’s intentional I have no idea) but the text ending with no dots really enhanced that need of his since Nar is a very careful person who would reread every sentence before pressing send (like you’ve written some sentences below). And here, without the dot, it felt like he typed that sentence and pressed send at rocket speeds. No thoughts in that moment, those fingers driven by pure instincts and feelings alone,,,

“Us. It felt strange to refer to himself…anymore.” “us!” like, both of them! Not just “you” and “I”, those two words grouped, combined together to become one “us”! They belong to each other, from two people to one couple! Them!! ajsdhdhfdk I'm so normal about them

Thank you writers for writing the most tooth-rotting fluff ever and I apologise again for taking too long ;-;; I should really work on this whole thing... Also happy followers count!

307 anon,,, I was just thinking about you in the past few days cus I am now writing another story (,,,hope you will like it,,) and wondered just how are you,,,,,, (rest under the text cus this is long foiahafs)

Please don't be sorry at all - there are so many things in your life going on that I will never have a chance of knowing about but you spending the time to write these just means so much to me. And seeing you come back just means so much ough

And also OUGH DUDE YOU HAVING THE WHOLE DOCUMENT I would be so up to just reading it whole too, you not only spending time to read but also write down comments to send me, who are you why are you so kind, I hope life treats you well, I hope you are doing okay, I wish you the best and I hope my response will bring at least a tiny bit of the joy your asks bring me, thank you for spending time on this all (pwease reveal yourself one day,, / nf)

To the responses I go:

,,, I think it's just me not writing dots tbh IOHFSAHIOSFAHIO but to think someone thought of it in such lovely way because that's so right - Narrator would check, Narrator would normally reread again and again but he didn't, he just found his soulmate, he is in the moment, living it all oughhhh 307 anon you are a genius

US US US they just are TOGETHER NOW there are separate entities but they are together just ough yes you GET IT I'M SO GLAD YOU GET IT

Please take your time, take it easy and I hope you will have a lovely day anon

A little snippet from the TSP angst story I'm writing that someone took screenshots of hoiashfiao

:3c cus every angst deserves sum silly moment

#307 anon #i spin you around #instant serotonin #truly #and that timing #mwah #you are just #anon ask #tsp #yesss #me when 307 shows up:#*Screams to my friends*#oughhh #hope you have a good day anon #thank you sm 8)

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just-some-girl-xiii · 11 months

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Introducing my children, whom I did not birth :

• Rocket Barbie, 73% of her personality is my fault and I repent every day

• JD, disowned on multiple occasions but that’s hard to do when they live in your house

• Viola, the most precious cutie patootie in the words, my lil musical genius

• Indigo, babes don’t forget to take your anti delulu pill- she can’t hear me she’s streaming Stray Kids

• Em, traumatised weird creature but like affectionate

• Sapphire, the embodiment of the “ya coping, son?” meme format, for the love of god go drink some water and crack open a window will you

• Ivy, a crop top??? in this weather???? Yes you’re slaying honey but you look cold

• Tin can, an angel who could do absolutely no wrong deserves the world

#aka my younger mutuals/friends in a few words #neither of them are on tumblr and if they are they don’t know about this blog #so let’s not tell them okay 🙂#mutuals #moots

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janicexcx · 2 years

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Ready up for Rainbow Royale!

Attention gaymers, get off Grindr and listen up! Some exciting news is on the horizon… *nail paint emoji*

Not to sneak up on you like a bottle of poppers at the discotek, but hunty sis… you need to hear how Fortnite are back back back back again to slay the runway boots house down this fall!

To celebrate our fans in the LGBTQIA+ community, Fortnite’s riveting Rainbow Royale is making a grand return to screens this September 2022! Yass, you read that correctly twink. I am personally so excited about the return of rainbow royale, I absolutely loved all the different colours on everything last year! I am such a material guuuurl!

If you actually look on the Fortnite store right now there are so many free items that have returned, I for one am just in awe that they have made a comeback!

https://www.3bsystems.co.uk/ (just saving for later on – please DELETE future me)

That means if you did not get any the first time, you can get them now! How cool is that? So, you can get four different rainbow royale sprays:

Vibrant heart

Vibrant llama (my personal favourite, how cute!)

Vibrant boogie

Vibrant star

You can also get the sunshine and rainbows wrap, what a cultured and inclusive company! Shantay, YOU stay! Now you can sashay out of the battle bus like the queen you are again! Not failing to mention the return of the take a ‘bow emote where you basically stand and then make the shape of a rainbow which then follows your player’s hands to make an actual rainbow! So unique! I personally used to love using it because it made me feel Daddy AF (by Slayyyter, what a queer icon!).

Yes, ma’am! They have done it again, constantly raising the bar for us all and doing it FLAWLESSLY! I would say I am surprised, but we know who they are. What better way to show your support for the movement than dripping your player out in an all-new pride outfit! I just wish they did rainbow outfits with emojis on them, to be honest...

Over with our bestie Rocket League, join them until July 12th to enjoy bops from all the best LGBTQIA+ performers such as

Trixie Mattel

Adore Delano

Conchita Wurst

Todrick Hall

Shawn Mendes

While you’re whining to their amazing hyper-pop beats, don’t you dare skip out on strutting over to the items shop with your girl gang and grabbing a FREE Rocket League Shine Through Bundle each – which is available for the entire month, sis!

Let’s recall some of the acts on the “LOVE ISLV RADIO” (so creative!). So, on Beatbox, they had Platinum by Big Freedia, the New Orleans Queen of Bounce! Call me what you want, call me when you need… yasss girl, you already know what’s going on, Montero by Lil Nas X!

On Radio Underground there was Pain by King Princess, STUD by Troye Sivan and Imagine by Ben Platt! I just LOVE when they show smaller artists some love! Finally, on Power Play they had Bad Girl by Daya, Found My Friends by Hayley Kiyoko and… Ooh, ahh! That’s right, Malibu by Kim Petras! Such an eclectic mix of LGBTQIA+ icons!

Did any of you queens play Fortnite last year during their gay era? They were such my bestie when they spilt that tea, sis! I just adore when big companies give the give, and this time around Fortnite is doing what it needed to do!

Also, a little easter egg for those who are too busy vibing out to CRASH by Charli XCX… did y’all see the rainbow on the map when you open it to check on the storm circle? They are such queens at looking at all the little details!

To see all this, you are going to want to get yourself a gaming PC that can run Fortnite. Well look no further, I found this company while searching that actually makes PCs with certain games in mind, just follow this link to grab yours:

Well, that about wraps it up. I hope you all thought I slayed this blog post! Happy gayming everyone!

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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

Text

Dream SMP Recap (June 24-25/2021) - Cow Quackity / S.U.S. Toll Company

After Quackity turns into a cow and Wilbur eats him on Bad’s chill stream, the two make a hit song together.

Later, George joins in and things become even more chaotic.

The next day, while working on “L’Wallburg” to compete with Bad’s apartment in the same area, Foolish has the idea to join forces with Bad instead of competing all the time. The two get together with Ponk to create their new tollbooth company:

Super Umbrella Scheme

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

BadBoyHalo

Foolish

Captain Puffy

[Foolish’s second VOD was deleted]

---

JUNE 24

---

- Ponk, dressed up as Robin, notices Sam AFK by the bank. They try to get some Pillagers to attack Sam, but it doesn’t work

- Instead, Ponk pushes Sam into the spider spawner, then releases the spiders and watches Sam get eaten alive

- With Sam dead, Ponk puts his things in a chest and takes the Netherite set, leaving everything else. He goes to hide it

- Later, Ponk meets Foolish at the Community House as Robin and Batman. They go down into the basement to discuss. They may need new identities. Their crime-fighting days are over

- Ponk tells him that they are going to be Sherlock Holmes and Watson. That’s the extent of the report, so the two of them part ways

- Back at the valley, Ponk puts up a giant Foolsamponk picture and a photo of a rice cooker

- Bad and Wilbur log on. Bad notices a new structure built where the L’Sandburg tollgate used to be and wonders who’s behind it. Bad has been building up L’Sandburg’s walls in the meantime

- As Bad searches around for Wilbur in Las Nevadas, Quackity joins VC and gets a cow as a stand-in. Bad spots Wilbur nearby

- Bad tells Wilbur that the cow is Quackity and puts a leash on him, explaining that a witch turned him into one similar to how George was turned into a pig

- Wilbur asks where he can find food around here, and Bad tells him he can kill the cows in the pen. Bad tries to explain to Quackity how he is a cow. Wilbur asks Bad to tell Quackity that Wilbur wants to eat him

- Wilbur sets Quackity on fire, but Bad puts him out with water. Wilbur says Quackity looks tasty. Bad throws him bread and steak, but Wilbur refuses

Wilbur: not as succulent as him

- Bad leads Quackity over to the Eiffel Tower away from Wilbur. Wilbur opens Bad’s stream to find them

- Wilbur joins VC and Quackity asks if it’s true that Wilbur wants to eat him. They start discussing lactose intolerance

- Wilbur sets off TNT, then lights cow Quackity on fire. Bad is unable to save him and the Quackity cow drops a piece of steak. Wilbur asks for the meat

- Meanwhile, Quackity as a human has come over to Las Nevadas. They set off more TNT

- Wilbur holds a piece of steak and munches on it, telling Quackity that it’s his meat. Quackity asks how he tastes and Wilbur begins describing it in great detail

- Quackity asks him to describe the texture and Wilbur does, again, in great detail. (I'm not going to transcribe this)

- Wilbur then walks over to DogChamp, saying he would kill the dog for another bite. They quickly stop him. Wilbur tells Bad to get him more Quackity meat. He then turns to Quackity and tells him to turn into a cow so that Wilbur can cook him up and eat his meat

- Quackity goes over to the cow pen to be with the other cows so that he can become one and starts mooing

- Wilbur kills another cow. Quackity has taken off his clothes and continues mooing

- Wilbur takes the initiative to end the bit

- They swim over to Eret’s pyramid with Wilbur repeating everything Quackity says in an American accent. They discuss what animal Wilbur would be. Perhaps a sheep. Bad finds a cod in the ocean and decides on that

- They go up to Ponk’s base and look at the photos. They notice that Sam is crossed out in one of them but don’t know why

Quackity: “Do you wanna have sex in this room?”

- Bad goes to tell him “language” and Quackity scolds him for walking in on them. Wilbur considers it, then mines the floor out from under Quackity, who falls to his death

Quackity: “Is that a yes?”

Wilbur: “I like a man who can take kinetic energy.”

- Bad gets a crossbow. Quackity has an announcement: the wine stream is still happening!

- Quackity gets back to the pyramid and falls to his death again. While they retrieve his items, they chat about fan interactions

- Quackity wants to adopt the dog that played Beethoven in the Beethoven movie and Wilbur breaks the news to him that the dog is probably dead. Quackity doesn’t want Tom Arnold on a leash, and they find out that during the filming the filmmakers apparently used a “mechanical dog-dog suit”

- Wilbur explores the Beethoven fandom Wiki

- They talk about music they’ve been working on. Bad says if Quackity keeps swearing, he will “break out the hammer”

- Quackity shows his recent project. Wilbur says it’s “bloody-muffin-fucking great”

- Wilbur and Quackity work on the song together. The sound is...beyond words

- When they are finished, Quackity says that he thinks Wilbur is giving him too much credit, and he should instead be on the feature list. He wants Wilbur to have this song

- Wilbur declines, saying he would be honored if Quackity didn’t put Wilbur’s name on the song

- Quackity thinks Wilbur should feature it as a Lovejoy song. Wilbur has joined a new band to release the song called “Placeholder,” after which he will immediately disband the band

- Quackity tells him that the song is Wilbur’s baby and he really wants Wilbur to have it. Wilbur tells Quackity that he loves him and that Quackity should have the song. Quackity says he would die for Wilbur, and that Wilbur should have the song

- Wilbur says he will name his firstborn "Quackity,” and he thinks Quackity should have the song. Quackity says he will name all his future family members “Wilbur Soot” (pronounced ‘suit’)

- Wilbur then says he will kill endangered animals for Quackity

Bad: “That’s not something you should do!”

Wilbur: “I will do it for love.”

- Bad asks if he can have the song. Quackity doesn’t say his next bit aloud

- Wilbur understands that Quackity would do that, but he would physically drown for Quackity to have the song

- Quackity says that he will get an astrophysics license, fly a rocket into the moon to get in a national story so that when they find the notepad on his phone, Quackity’s one will would be for Wilbur to have the song and release it under his name without any credit to Quackity

- Wilbur understands this, but says that he would invent a Doomsday device the likes of which the world has never seen and will never see again with which he would hold the world hostage with one message: to tell the world that this song is written solely by Quackity

Wilbur: “That’s what I’d do for you.”

Quackity: “...Okay!”

Wilbur: “Cool, alright, now we’re settled. Hey, Bad, how’re you doing man.”

Bad: “Hi! I’m so perplexed.”

Wilbur: “I’ve got a Doomsday device to make.”

- Bad befriends a pig and names it George. He leads the pig and the red sheep away from Las Nevadas. They continue chatting for a while at the Punzo Chunk

- Later on, George, “master of lore,” joins in

- Bad shows them the heads he got from DreamXD and offers to trade Karl’s to get Ant’s, Sam’s and Puffy’s from Foolish. Wilbur asks how one gets heads, and Bad tells the story of DreamXD logging on

- Bad gives George his own head and George logs off. Bad offers Karl’s head and George returns, so Bad kills him and gets his head back. George drops a stack of nametags, a stack of TNT and a stack of levers

- Bad repeatedly murders George and sees a squid that flies

- George chases after Quackity trying to kill him with a bone. Quackity runs, setting everything on fire behind him. Bad follows and tries to put everything out. George eventually kills Quackity, then Bad kills George

- Bad accuses George of abusing his op powers to get Netherite armor as George chases him down

- Wilbur sings the Drake and Josh theme song in an American accent while George attempts to murder Bad in a pit

- George accuses Bad of turning the server off, but Bad says it’s a scheduled restart

- George kicks them from the server and un-whitelists them both

- Quackity gets back on and slays George

- The three of them continue to spar some more for fun

---

JUNE 25

---

- While Foolish works on building a room by the Punzo Chunk to compete with Bad’s, Bad logs on and drops by

- Bad tells him he’s building in Bad’s apartment. Foolish tells him he’s just making L’Wallburg

- Bad says he will charge Foolish rent to live here, but Foolish declines

- They argue back and forth about whose place it is as they work on the walls

- Foolish has the idea to join forces

Foolish: Bad what if we are landlords together

Bad: o_o

Foolish: we have been fighting for afar too long

Foolish: What if we put are talkents togerth

Bad: o_o

- Bad says he’s charging rent. Foolish asks what if he charges Bad rent. They argue about charging rent on each other

- Bad charges Foolish 850 diamonds. Foolish tells him that Bad has been on his property for five minutes, which means he must pay 9,000 diamonds

- Again, Foolish suggests they instead work together. Bad brings up the idea of taking over a central location like the community Nether portal that they can charge people for. Foolish likes the idea

- They work on the apartment some more and start bickering over who’s caused more problems in their rivalry. Foolish attempts to explain it metaphorically

Foolish: “There was once a shiny rock, okay? And this shiny rock was just trying to go to the ocean and have a good time and lay there in peace. But then, this crusty old seaweed came along to the seashore and just got up all in the shiny rock’s business. And then the shiny rock became a little more dull with the weight of death looming, Bad.”

- Bad takes offense to this and also claims that he made Foolish’s build much better by adding a tollgate to it

- They negotiate percentages of the profits and head off to the Nether portal. Foolish asks if Bad has a suit. Bad replies that not only does he look very dashing already, but the last time he wore a suit, he tried to kill a lot of people

- Foolish suggests they call it the Ratgate. They wall off the portal

- While visiting the summer home, Foolish finds out about the new building on the path. The two suspect a third party may be at play

- Foolish tells Bad about how they have a tollgate set up in Las Nevadas. Bad is offended that Foolish made him take down his tollgate but set one up elsewhere. They start arguing again over who had rightful claim to the path

- They admire their work on the new tollbooth. If people don’t pay the toll, they die

- They rehearse it. Foolish switches personas and becomes a L’manburg Llama who asks Bad where L’manburg is -- he heard they needed his help a few months ago

- Foolish critiques Bad’s performance, as Bad didn’t ask for the toll. Bad said he still got something out of it -- a nice compliment

- They rehearse it a second time, this time with Foolish as Palpatine. It ends with Bad attempting to kill him

- As they discuss how the second rehearsal went, Ponk logs on and walks through the portal while they’re distracted

- They go through after him to seek him down. If they let him get away, they would be the laughing stock of the tolling community. Foolish wonders if they’re dealing with Ponk or Robin

- They find her at the summer home. Ponk runs into his shack and they knock on the door

- Ponk comes out of the shack and they tell him that they’re vacuum salesmen. Once inside the shack, they confront him about the toll

- Ponk doesn’t buy their claims and they go back to the tollbooth. They tell them to pay with compliments

- Ponk retrieves a book from his Ender Chest and goes up one of the tollbooth towers to place a piece of TNT. He tells them that he has claimed the tower

- Ponk starts running, placing TNT all over while the two chase after to attack

- After “the Battle of the Nether Portal” subsides, Ponk gives them the compliments

Ponk: “Bad, is your nickname ‘Google?’ Because you’re all I’m searching for.”

...

Ponk: “Did you get your suit at Dollar General, Foolish?”

- Because Foolish takes some offense to this, Ponk throws him some Netherite ingots. Bad wants that compliment

- Ponk and Bad go up into Ponk’s tower to whisper amongst themselves. Ponk is going to record this and use it as part of the lore suit against Bad. Bad already has ten lawyers

- They go back down and Ponk tells Foolish that Bad said the toll doesn’t have to be paid. Bad is confused, and Foolish pulls Bad aside for a meeting behind a wall of TNT to whisper amongst themselves

- Foolish points out that they could use a third person for the tolling business, and Ponk’s the most trustworthy person Foolish knows

- They go back to Ponk with the business proposal. Foolish says if Ponk makes enough money, they’ll give Ponk a Supreme car at the end of the year

- Ponk becomes sad at this, because Bad destroyed the Supreme Fridge and that’s why Ponk is suing him and Puffy

- Bad says that Foolish allowed them to demolish it. Foolish quickly denies this, but Bad claims he has a written document signed by Foolish. Upset, Ponk asks if this is true. Bad says Puffy has it

- Ponk isn’t sure who to believe anymore

- After they spot Bad lurking beneath the rainbow, they hold him at knifepoint asking for his pot of gold

- Foolish suggests the three of them forget everything that’s happened and just run their tollbooth together. Ponk proposes they tear down Bad’s house instead

- As they explain a potential plot to toll everyone further, though, Ponk starts to come around to the idea. Foolish wonders if they should toll the prison. Bad says they should toll everything

- The next place they decide to toll is the Community House, and they start setting up gateways there. Foolish asks Bad who he would hypothetically be in an alternate Batman universe. Bad would be Alfred

- They decide on a name for their tollbooth company:

“Super Umbrella Scheme,” or S.U.S.

- They do another rehearsal at the Community House gate. It goes very well

- They go to the spider spawner. Bad has to leave, and Ponk speaks with Foolish one-on-one, leading him down the tunnel to the Eggpire cloak room to search through the chests. Foolish hesitantly peeks around the corner into the Egg Room...

- Ponk tells him they’ve got their next disguises as Watson and Holmes. Sam has mentioned that he’s missing a sword and wants to hire them to find it

- With that said, they say their goodbyes and leave

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

#dream smp #dream smp recaps #long posts

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suspiciouslyheterosexualbehavior · 3 years

Text

TF2 classes rated by how well I’d do against them in a 1v1 fistfight

I woke up this morning feeling particularly arrogant and in my hubris I have decided to make a list where I completely accurately rate how well I’d do in a barehanded, no-weapons, classic caveman fisticuffs against the mercenaries. Let’s begin.

Scout: Were it not for Merasmus, this idiot would be the lowest on the food chain. He is spindly, and granted he is fast and can double jump, he probably weighs half as much as me. If I sat on this guy I’d win.

Final verdict: 0/10, I will break you like a biscuit, little boy

Soldier: This one’s all about strategy. There is no way I would win against a man that Rocket Jumps so regularly he probably uses it as a means to go to the grocery store in a completely fair fight. I seek to win, and so does he, and he might do it by snapping my neck like I’d snap Scout’s fragile ankles, and that means I’ll have to use my brain before he does so. If I tell him there’s something amazing behind him throughout the entire fight, he will fall for it every time, granting me victory.

Final verdict: 5/10, Really hope we’re gonna be wrestling around naked and covered in honey for this one

Pyro: Maybe I would avoid hurting a wonderful little frog like this if I wasn’t absolutely bathing in hubris as of right now, but since I am, I’ll tell you that I am looking at this one and I know I can win, so long I keep my language clean and don’t make fun of fire. Which is easy, since I love fire type Pokemon.

Final Verdict: 3/10, Just because everyone else is scared of you doesn’t mean I have to be

Demoman: Oh, this one might get tricky. Any idiot would think that as long as Demo is drunk, they can win, but Demo is always drunk, you fucking dumbass. Not a day goes by without him being absolutely wasted, and he has a canonically beautiful and romantic relationship with his liver, so waiting for him to die from liver failure won’t work either. Plus, this guy definitely has been in bar fights. He’s probably an expert on drunken fighting at this point. Though if I can make him fall asleep and forget why he was fighting me in the first place, I could probably win.

Final Verdict: 7/10, I can still win, especially if I also get wasted

Heavy: Yeah, listen. I’m pumped full of the kind of stuff that God-slaying anime protagonists bleed before the final boss battle. But Heavy? I can’t win. Sascha weighs several times my own weight, and this guy pulls her around all day like a fucking accessory bag. Oh, don’t worry, I’ll absolutely try to win, but my chances of Heavy continuously fucking up throughout the fight, as if God is rolling Nat 1s for his every check, are pretty low. He’s not even that stupid, so I can’t trick him more than once or twice. I’ll have one chance to go for his weak legs, because I know he skips leg day, but after that? If I haven’t felled him? I’m going to get thrown like a beach ball.

Final Verdict: 10/10, If I start crying maybe he’ll feel bad enough and let me win by default

Engineer: Now I am an Engineer main and simp, I really like this guy a lot, so entering a fight with nothing but out hands as weapons would, for most people, seem like a loss no matter what for me. Not so, idiots; I love fighting my beloved ones in an old-timey fashion, and it won’t change this time just because I happen to be in love with Mister Dell Cohnager. Engie is a laid-back nerd, so his strength, while heavily amplified by his mechanical hand, is lacking. On top of that, I’m 99% he’s a lot shorter than me, and since I’m a Jock, I will have a natural advantage over him in a fight. He unfortunately has an advantage over me by having a sexy Texan drawl and a deep voice, and if he smiles I might actually fucking die, so it’s a bit of a 50-50.

Final Verdict: 5/10, That helmet wont save you from these hands, but neither will my hands save me from that Cowboy Charm of yours

Sniper: While this man isn’t exactly incompetent, he’s still only right above Scout in regards to strength by my totally accurate calculations. He’s skinny, and most of the time he doesn’t even move around like Scout does, but pisses in a jar while waiting to shoot someone in the head from very far away. Since we’ll be going at it barehanded, I have an actual proper chance of decking this guy, and if I am feeling especially cruel, I can use his crippling depression against him to win by default. And I do feel cruel right now.

Final Verdict: 1/10, Get some therapy and come back to me for a rematch, buddy

Medic: As similar with Engineer, I do actually like this guy a bunch, but I don’t have a crush on him. Unfortunately, I’m a Tank main by heart, and while I don’t main Heavy, the urge to protect Healers from harm is stronger than my urge to hurt them. Should I somehow override this base instinct and become like those smelly little French backstabbers that feel no remorse at flaying Medics from behind, I might win against Medic in a fair fight. I wouldn’t know what to use against him psychologically, but I know he will be trying to do it to me. Whether it works or not is up to the unforgiving tides of fate.

Final Verdict: 4/10, I don’t know if I’ll feel great punching a guy with glasses, but Medic will be in Hell with me once we both die, so I can just apologize there

Spy: If I see a spy or suspect someone is one, I will maul them like a bear. I have something personal against them, yes, maybe because I’m an Engineer and Medic main, but that’s besides the point, really. I know I can absolutely win in a fight against this man, even if he had his watch and knife. Stab me in the back all you want, buddy, but I’m not stopping till either your kneecaps or your windpipe is crushed.

Final Verdict: 0/10, Fuck you I’m going to pee on your suit

#tf2

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neocuddlytechnology · 2 years

Note

top 5 songs from ur fav groups😋😋

bitch… that’s so hard.

well- 👀👀

1. rocket - nct dream

recently I’ve been listening to this 25/8 like it’s such a bop <33 🚀💥💥 vibes

2. bad love - key

he went solo on this song but hes still in SHINee soooooo 👀👀 IT COUNTS OKAY. it’s such a bop like the old pop vibes r rlly there!!

3. the real - ateez

THIS. it’s so powerful and fun 🤩 🤩 I love the way it’s kinda hype-y <33

4. yeppi yeppi - aespa

yes. like the part where it drops is so fun and gets me in the vibe :D rlly fun and cute and incorporates coolness as well 💗💗

5. step back - GOT the beat

don’t come for me. I gotta say the lyrics r disappointing HOWEVER they ATE on the vocals like- AHHHHHH. and the production of the music itself is SCRUMPTIOUS.

bonus:

the weekend - 88rising, BIBI

queen bibi slayed this 💯💯

jam & butterfly - dpr live, crush, eaj

all I have to say, is that it’s made by dpr live, crush, and eaj. thank you.

#nct #nct dream #key #shinee #ateez #aespa #got the beat #bibi #dpr we gang gang #dpr #crush #song recs #risa.neo

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lostinwoods · 3 years

Text

A satire of How the Inuyasha world went to shit and Yashahime happened!

Before anyone reads any further, there are certain warnings.

Warnings: Mentions of the rainbow pearl being a secret porn stash with nefarious powers. Pedomaru is an imposter.

Trigger: Depicts trauma of an underage Rin.

A poorly made imagine by an enraged fan, where only Sunrise Pedomaru ( read imposter) is a piece of shit but the rest are moral characters.

Note: Do not be like Pedomaru. Be moral, do not follow porn logic! I honestly did not want to but I realised there is no other sane way to somewhat absolve Sesshoumaru-sama and simultaneously keep it trashacanon. So, blame the plot!

-----How the conversations might have happened back then-----

Kirinmaru- Hey, you Naraku! I gave you life even after having severe case of racism... You have an important mission to complete.

Naraku- Kukuku.... I am the great Naraku-sama. Who do you think you are to make me your underling?

Kirinmaru- The dude who sent the demons materializing in your body. I am the one who turned you half!

Naraku- Fuck you! I am not your slave.

Kirinmaru- *grits teeth* Okay, fine, you youngsters don't know how to work without taking bribes. I would give you the chance to regain the Shikon and would allow your one wish upon it!

Naraku- *Smirks* All according to plan!

Naraku- So, what would you have me do?

Kirinmaru- Do anything, I mean anything but keep away that demon named Sesshoumaru from his home.

Naraku- Why?

Kirinmaru- *Inhales slowly* That guy's got a collection of pedophilia porn stash there, hidden in two rainbow pearls. He is not....and I repeat not to be allowed near his house and most importantly that porn stash.

Naraku- Why?

Zero- Because the Shikon has told me that there would be a union which would be a catastroph in making.

Naraku- So?

Zero- You dimwit, there would be Kids' as a result of his pedophilic relation with his human ward. Even we demons do not support such notions!

Naraku- Wow, never thought a guy could be more twisted than me.

Kirinmaru and Zero- No kidding! Just know that the union should not happen!

-------- 8 years later after Naraku's death-------

What no one will ever know is that the real Sesshoumaru was being kept captive in an underground dungeon and his twin brother, Pedomaru (a sick twisted pedophilic fuck) was postering as him and taking his place after Naraku’s end. He took the rainbow pearls the original Sesshoumaru was keeping away from him.

Zero- Bro, bro... Wake up! Sesshoumaru (she doesn't know he is an imposter) defeated Naraku and now he is spending time watching his porn stash and preparing gifts for his human ward.

Kirinmaru- *Slurs, half asleep* Ya? Go and burn 'em down and keep that kid away from him.

Zero- Yes bro, Imma on my way!

Zero- *Sends Root-head to cause havoc and distract Sesshoumaru. Meanwhile, she flies to his sky castle and steals the rsinbow pearls*.

-----Another 2 years later------

Zero- Bro, wake up! Terrible news, Sesshoumaru's gonna be a dad!

Kirinmaru- *Sits up straight and wears his horse mask to hide the disgust on his handsome face* Keep the kids away from the pearls at all cost!

Zero- Okay, on my way.

------10 mins later-----

Zero- I should have never allowed you near that porn stash. I am a terrible failure of an aunt!

Pedomaru- Zero!

Zero- Oh, you remember my name.

Pedomaru- How could I not. You have no clue what you did. I was on my last episode of 'Boku no Pico' and you took them down. I did not even get to know whether they....

Zero- *Eyes almost falling out of its sockets* Not only Loli but Shota as well??? You are the scum of this century!

Pedomaru- *Smirks* And that got me kids.

Zero- *Smirks* And the rainbow pearls with me!

-----Meanwhile on the other side----

Riku: Kagome-sama? You are the leg. Shikon priestess correct?

Kagome: Yes, I am!

Riku: I am Riku and I am a pirate.

Kagome: Yeah and I am the destroyer of Naraku and also an awesome time traveler. But such things are rocket science to you, Mr. unreliable narrator.

Riku: So, there's gonna be a comet and it's gonna bring calamity. Thus it should be destroyed by the inu brothers.

Kagome: Sure...... Because comets can also do other things...you know things other than setting the ground on fire or creating a hole on the ground... you know, like bringing literal darkness.

Kagome: Oh and Mr. Unreliable narrator, have you heard that my bro-in-law is a major creep who actually had sex with his daughter figure. I am sure the comet can do nothing more terrible.

------10 mins. Later. In a hut----

Inhabitants collectively: God, we should have seen this coming.

Kagome: Yeah, why didn't I take that tongue twister seriously?

Sango: Man, you telling me I have to see this shit happening to a girl the same age I was when I started slaying demons? I had hoped nothing worse could happen to a girl my age, think I jinxed it!

Kaede: Poor Rin!

Rin: *After birthing for several hours* Huh, only if I was an adult, I could have actually given birth without going through two miscarriages in the last two years.

Kagome and Sango: Sorry Rin, we should have never allowed you to go and stay at his palace for those two years. Back then we thought that he was your caring father figure. But, that bastard actually showed you such crap porn and coerced your consent! Rin, you should have reached out to us faster, at the time when he had started those things!

Rin: *With silent tears in her eyes* Yes, back then I did not understand anything. But I started understanding after my second miscarriage. Thus I sent Inuyasha-Sama that SOS. I am only thankful that he barged as my saviour at the right time! The least I could have asked for at this point is healthy kids. They look so beautiful. Finally I can hold them in my....

Pedomaru: *Saunters in and picks up the kids* They need to pass the rite of courage and cowardice.

Rin and the rest: Fuck you too asshole! You dare take them away with a shit like pass some rite. Keep your disgusting hand off them. Get outta here! Right this moment!

Jaken: *Tearfully* I will take care of the rest!

Rin: *Wails mournfully* I lost them again. The one time I could see them with my eyes, that nymphomaniac takes 'em away. Should have listened to Master Ungai back then!

-----In a forest----

Pedomaru: *Places the bundles of the kids on the ground and whips out the rainbow pearls holding his secret porn stash. Then he inserts said jewels in the eyes of each girl*

Jaken: *Erects a barrier that could easily be seen through by Zero*

Zero: I order you to burn that place down. I am sure he's got some of his stash hiding in that tree. Get the kids away but do not forget to remove 'em, the main stash's in the kids' eyes.

------In a certain Shrine----

Kagome: *Kisses her daughter's forehead and hands her a beni* We had always decided that if we ever had a daughter, we would give her this beni. Keep this with you Moroha, it is an anti-pedo lipstick. It will keep you safe from your piece of a shit uncle.

Inuyasha: *Unsheaths Tessaiga* Kagome, the Pedo and his boytoy's here!

Pedomaru: *Zooms past Kirinmaru and digs into Inuyasha's eye and fishes out a black pearl* Finally found the secret porn stash of Dad. I had always wanted to get to this. Finally! *Seals off InuKag in the pearl and turns towards Kirinmaru* I hope this is fine. Let them watch some porn and educate themselves!

Kirinmaru: * Resets his mask lest it slips off and shows his disgusted face* Well, I guess it's fine for now!

Kirinmaru continues to side eye Pedomaru all the while ploting how to get rid of those porn stashes.

He returns to his abode and speedily creates some underlings.

Kirinmaru to underlings: I order you all to collect the rainbow pearls that are scattered around the continent. Remember, do not look inside them and never use them. They are weapons of great caliber.

Underling 1: *In a nasaly voice* Kirinmaru-sama what is in those pearls.

Kirinmaru: Listen carefully because I would say it once. Those pearls are secret porn stashes of dubious content. They should be removed at all cost. Find them and bring them to me. Oh, and never allow Riku to get a hold of them. That boy has already lost his articulate power of narration after he began that black market piracy of the rainbow-pearl porn stash.

The underlings all shouted in sync: Yes, understood Kirinmaru-sama!

And thus began Yashahime: A tale of twins who embark on a journey to save the world from the rainbow pearls and their wrath!

We sincerely hope they could choose their boat carefully! And the real Sesshoumaru is brought to justice. RIP Pedomaru, the imposter!

#lol post #inuyasha #anime #inuyasha series #lol hyh #antisessrin #anti yashahime #queen kagome #social inept Riku #sad and victimized Rin #trashahime #this shit not be romanticised coz it's not #Imposter Sesshoumaru

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ffxiv-ariavitali · 4 years

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I love your blog?!!! Excuse me but I LOVE??? 😭❤️ Would you be able to do a little something with a wol who jumped infront of the HW boys to safe them from an attack? (I couldn't read your rules 😭 I hope this is alright?)

oh my goodness, who brought the onions into the room?! thank you so much for the kind words and yes, it’s alright! i hope you like! ;0;

(angst below. i couldn’t help it >.>)

❅ ❅ ❅

[Estinien]

Vidofnir was correct in stating that the wyrms of the Churning Mists wouldn’t take kindly to man’s ascent into their sacred realm, but Estinien couldn’t give an arse. He was content with glaring at them with as much passion and hatred as they were giving him, searching for any and all excuses that will give him the right to slay them where they stood.

During his musings, he heard the dark wyrm’s call bellowing in every corner of his mind, something akin to a scream of vengeance that he knew was a call for his brood to make ready for war. Regardless of what kind of song it was, it didn’t make the pain lessen any more being one of man and he almost collapsed to his knees in anguish.

In the distant corner of his mind, he saw wings and talons descend upon him. He motioned to dodge, but could not and is instead knocked aside by something so harshly that the shock was enough to bring his body back to attention. When he shifts his head, he finds that you had taken the attack in earnest, that you had taken it upon yourself to protect him whilst simultaneously slaying the fiend.

When all was done, he managed to rush to where you were. By Halone’s blessings, the attack hadn’t hit your vitals and despite the blood soaking your armor, you were still smiling at him, assured that he was alright. He cusses at you aloud for doing something so reckless and is quick to throw you over his shoulder so that Alphinaud could heal you.

He will never admit to how your conviction and your actions have confirmed his trust in you, that he can trust his back to you, during a fight. But he will thank you in between his lectures on self-preservation.

[Aymeric]

Ghimlyt Dark, by all intents and purposes, was one of the fiercest battlefields that the lord commander had stepped foot on. Lucia had been kind enough to give both him and the contingent a brief rundown of the Garlean’s love for canons and beams, as well as missiles and rockets that had far more explosive power than a dragon’s fiery breath. Combined with the information that Cid Garlond was able to provide, Aymeric felt fairly confident in his ability to improvise on the battlefield.

However, what he forgot to factor in to his calculations was man’s total unpredictability when they find themselves backed into a corner.

During the forward assault to push the line, the Temple Knights under his command have been doing well to quell the rage against Garlemald’s children. They had the upper hand and were making progress until Aymeric saw a magitek vanguard aiming its drill towards him, the controller a half-dead soldier glaring at him with wild eyes of desperation. There were cries for him to move, but time moved so slow and his body even slower.

You appeared out of nowhere in front of him, pouring all of your strength into attempting to deflect the blow. However, you were no immortal saint and you could only parry half of the attack while taking the brunt of the rest. The shackles of perhaps fear finally loosened its hold on him at the sight of blood and he hears your adventurer friends calling out your name.

With renewed fury building in his breast, he orders the battalion onward in a forward march. His weakness has gotten you hurt, but he will be damned to the seventh hell if he lets your actions go in vain. He watches as you are whisked away back to central command before he moves on, venom coating his silver tongue and his azure blade.

[Haurchefant] - (everyone lives AU because gods I wish)

Haurchefant saw the lance of light pointed towards you by a being transcending mortality. He didn’t think before he acted, his only concern being that he needed to protect you. So, he ran quickly in front of you, shield in hand and raised at the ready.

However, before the attack made contact with his steel, the knight felt his body get knocked to the side, sending him tumbling. When he peered over to see what happened, you had used your body to push both him and you out of the way in time that nothing grievous would occur.

Yet, it was none at all early enough to prevent injuries.

The lance had managed to pierce into your shoulder and the subsequent howl of pain along with the scent of singed cloth sobered up not only Haurchefant, but Aymeric, Estinien and Lucia that were following closely behind. They didn’t process the manner to which the Archbishop and his thrice-damned lackeys managed to escape, for you were lying on the ground with a growing pool of blood and turning pale by the second.

As Estinien was bandaging the wound, as you were sweating from the pain, you found it fit to smile at him, thankful that he was uninjured. Haurchefant almost fainted when you had gone unconscious, only reassured when Lucia had taken your pulse and announced you had only passed out from overexertion.

The knight learned his lesson then. No noble sacrifices.

#ffxiv writing #estinien wyrmblood #aymeric de borel #haurchefant greystone #aria vitali writes #all this angst #all these tears #feed me more #:3c

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